Dear Hank & John - 91: Everything Is Everything (w/ Mayim Bialik!)

Episode Date: May 8, 2017

Why do I like the smell of gasoline? What should I do about my racist boss? What is the clothes fastener technology in Star Wars? And more! Email us: [e-mail] patreon.com/dearhankandjohn

Hello, and where are you just whispering? Yes, I was just whispering to no way. Sorry. I was just whispering that if the cats become a problem, he should lock them out. I'm sorry. Hello, and welcome to Dear Hank and John. Or as I prefer to call it, hear Mayam and Hank. It's a comedy podcast where me and my brother John, but occasionally guest hosts like this

this week's My and Be Allick, answer your questions, give you DBS advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. Myam, did you bring AFC Wimbledon news? You know, I did and it's big. I was big. I'm actually I looked up some and I was like, oh John's going to be sad he missed this week. How are you? Oh yeah, well, I'm okay, but you know,

AFC Wimbledon is really in goalkeeper shot. Don't tell anyone yet, we have to save it for the end of the pod. Okay, I'm doing okay. Good, good, where are you at? I'm in my children's room, and I'm in Los Angeles. Why are you in your children's? Is this for your podcast?

Because it's a studio set up? No, there's no studio to be had here. It's the quietest room in the house, as it were, because my children are not here. Right, yes, I would imagine that it is not usually the quietest room in the house. No. No.

I have a child now. The last time we talked, I did not. That's right. Congratulations again. And he's sleeping inside right now, and that does not need me. So that's what I've heard is that if a child is sleeping, you could just leave, right? And go somewhere. No, they got that. They figured that out. Perfect. Thanks. This is excellent.

Parented advice. I have a parenting question for you. Okay. Am I going to be okay? Are you going to be okay? You will be okay in about four years. Okay. All right.

Well, good. At least there's a horizon. I appreciate the perspective. Yeah, well, it's an absolute pleasure to have you here. I, you know, it's very interesting to hear your voice. I assume that people know some things about you, but you obviously are on some TV shows and have been for a long time. And also you are just sort of, I don't know, like a professional helpful nerd person on the internet, is that right? I guess. I mean, I definitely have made a sort of an active decision to find an audience

that understands me as I am, since being an actor means having people like you for what they want you to be. And I started a website called Grapnation, and I've started entering the YouTube space, honestly, completely inspired by you and your brother, to try and make an impact in positive ways that are helpful and entertaining, and don't necessarily rely on a casting director, telling you that you're good enough.

Yeah, that's that's, I have done a little bit of the LA thing and I don't really know why anyone would give up what I do for that. Just because it's rough. It's rough and it's not like I work in the coal mines rough, but it is a psychologically and spiritually challenging environment to exist in. And, you know, I was in the industry as a child and I left for 12 years and got my undergraduate and graduate degree. I had two kids and I've returned and the Big Bang Theory is a very big blessing in my

life, but it was not what I thought my life would look like. So there's a lot of adjustment going on in general as there is for all of us. I feel that. Well, speaking of psychological challenges challenges we have a question. Oh no wait, you have a short poem for us. I do. I have a stanza of a longer poem but yes. Okay. Okay. Just like go at it. Do it. So this is a medieval poet. He was born in the middle of the 12th century. His name is Pair Vidal. And when I read this particular poem and this stanza, it reminded me of one of my favorite musicians, Marici, and you will see from the final line why that is so. This is translated by Paul Blackburn. Lady, when I was within your hall, it seemed St. Julian must have been my host. God

never made such a perfect day as you formed of that day with your hand. In your making, he made no mistake. Such arms were cast only to kill me, sure. I trust your excellence is too good a thing, but even if you killed me, it'd be my honor. And if I died, I could only die praising and rejoicing. The more the more sealiric to die by your side is such a heavenly way to die is what I thought of when I read that medieval poem. Yeah, the things have not changed. Exactly. The things have not changed. Exactly. I mean, things have changed, but as far as overly saccharine love poetry,

we're still going at it. Oh yeah, in terms of painful love, not much has changed in the last 800 years or so. Well, in terms of painful love, or in this case painful non-love, this question comes out as from Lindsay Lindsay who asks, dear, hank, and mayim. I recently asked one of my friends to prom.

She's a year younger than me, and I wanted to carry on my tradition in my friend's circle of bringing underclassmen to prom a year early so they can experience it. Unfortunately, she took my prom-prosal to mean that I had a romantic interest in her which I don't. She has confessed that she likes me too and I don't know how to deal with this. Do I tell her that I'm not interested and have the most awkward prom ever

or do I just not break the facade and let her down later? Dubia's advice is much appreciated. With much uncertainty, Lindsay. Ah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, I felt like you were going to have the answer, Maya. I have the answer, is it my turn to say it? Yeah. I'm always going to advocate for honest and sincere conversations.

Even if it hurts other people. And it's never too young to start doing that kindly and lovingly. Yeah. Yeah. So how do start doing that kindly and lovingly. Yeah, yeah. So how do you do this kindly and lovingly? Is it sort of like, okay, here at Lindsay, I asked this question to a podcast, they have answered it and I would like you to, I would like you to listen to the podcast so that we don't have to have this awkward conversation. That seems like a good way to do it. Yeah, I, yeah, no, I think that I think that that's pretty much the way you have to do it. Yeah, I know I think that I think that that's pretty much the way you have to do it.

There's no way to soften the blow of reality in this case. And it's going to hurt her. And I think a lot of people avoid having honest and sincere conversations because they're trying to take care of other people's feelings. And I feel like it creates an environment where no one is able to be honest or deal with their feelings. So this gets to be the first experience where that's the conversation. It seems that my promposal, fancy word, it seems that my promposal may have introduced a conversation that is really hard to have, but I really want to go to prom with you, but I'm not romantically interested in you and I hope that we can still go and have a good time and if you don't want to I'll understand

Yeah, and and yeah, and I don't know if there's if there's a good hug that can come along with it That is an awkward, but it does seem like a moment that requires a hug What a what a bummer what a what a what a what a like oh man I don't I wouldn't want a hug in that situation Okay, well, that's good to note. Yeah, dear Hank and Mayam, I'm currently in the middle of getting divorced. For the most part, everything is amicable and we have both moved on with our lives over this past year.

We do have a wonderful three-year-old son together. My ex-husband's birthday is usually the same week as Father's Day and may not really sure what if anything I should do. I would like my son to be able to give his dad a gift, but I can't just give a three-year-old cash and send him to the store. Should I buy a gift for my ex-husband or invest time in making a craft with my son to give him? Is this my job at all now that we were separated?

Should I just assume his new significant other will take this over? As always, Dubia's advice is appreciated thank you cat all i have i i have been in this exact situation i mean i like this question i have feelings like it seems like you you and this amicably and you're still friends so like i think you still like yeah still a father and it still is birthday and he's still a part of your life right and i would say um... my ex's birthday is not the same week as Father's Day, but there

are other holidays that fall around my ex's birthday, so this is something that has been in my head a lot. Here's my thing. We get to teach children how to behave, separate from our relationships and our resentments or issues. The fact that it's the same week as Father's Day, I think would be really nice to show your child, whether the father has a new life, to show the child, this is how we celebrate dad on Father's Day

and his birthday. And you don't need to go over the top. I think the first year after we were divorced, I was like, let's buy him a computer. And my therapist is like, no, you don't need to buy him a computer. But I think making cards, having the child decorate a card is always a nice thing. When I had children that age and I was just divorced, I would have my child say nice things about daddy. Like I would say, what's something you like about daddy? And I would sort of transcribe, you know, like,

daddy, whatever, it gives me candy or whatever it is. And then have them decorate the card. I think that's nice. And if there's something small as a gesture that the child can participate in wrapping, I think it's important to show we give important people gifts. And it really is, it's the ultimate gift to teach that child that while giving the ex has been a gift

Boom you're really good at this you are better at advice that you have in green are for sure I feel like we are dispensing actual good advice on this episode of Dear Hangejohn it's super off brand Sorry, so to turn things around I'm to hit a question from Stephen who asks, dear Hank and Mayam, something that I've been wondering for years. What is the clothes, fastener technology, and star wars? Do they have zippers or velcro, or did all species use the same? Pimento in your eye, Stephen, in Cincinnati. So I'm going to let you take this one first. Are you a star wars fan? I can't imagine you're not a Star Wars fan. I am.

I am a Star Wars fan. But did you upon reading this question go and Google like every costume design from all of Star Wars? Oh, no. No. I didn't do prep. I don't know if that's what I was supposed to do. No.

I didn't do prep. I just used my brain. Like, thought about it. Yeah. So I did a little bit of prep. And I'll say that they use, they seem to use everything. They seem to have velcro, they seem to have even magnetic fasteners.

It looks like on a couple of uniforms. Some, you know those belts that, like the straps on like backpacks, the couple of those show up, but then you have zippers and you have buttons all over the place. Lots of zippers and buttons. I think, you know, I think, but then you have zippers and you have buttons all over the place. Lots of zippers and buttons. I think, you know, I think, but not, but unlike normal life, I think there's a lot of hidden zippers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's a custom design thing in general. It's like, you know, as it's really wanted a zipper pop it like shit. So I think there's a lot of like, the fabric goes over where the zipper is because otherwise there's no way to put that shirt on. So you know there's a zipper that you can't see. No, and it just doesn't look as nice. I mean, you can't use a Mickey Mouse zipper pull,

which is what used to be on one of my favorite jackets. I mean, I think zipper pulls are, like we need a solution to the zipper pull crisis. Zipper pulls have gotten so boring. All my hoodies have normal zipper pulls, and they're just like, they're from YKK, which is the biggest, you know, they make 90% of the zippers in the world. And I think that there should be a way for me to replace my YKK zipper pulls with something

a little more interesting. And I like- Well, I just attached things to the zipper, is my solution. So you put something on the end of the zipper pull? Yeah, so like I used to have a, this is not an advertisement for Mickey Mouse or Disney, but I used to have a Mickey Mouse, that it would clip onto your zipper

so that you could grab Mickey's face and pull that up. So I took to doing that, because that's what people like me do. I would attach like a cute little tie or something like that and it's easier to do then. And cuter. Yeah, I mean, I think that I think the whole the whole assembly there should be a way to replace it. If you can't hear me well, it's because I'm examining my hoodie zipper right now. I did a bunch of research on the company that makes

YKK, the company that makes like every zipper in the world and it's amazing. It's an amazing company and like fascinating history. But anyway, do that yourself. That's not what this podcast is about. But I do, I have had this thought several times in the last couple of years that like, zipper, I feel like zipper pulls are an opportunity that we're missing is all to.

Agreed, agreed. Like belt buckles had this for a little while. Socks are having it right now where people are expressing themselves through their socks in a way they hadn't previously. Of course. That's true. Yeah, like, enamel pins are happening, but I think that zipper pulls may be the... I'm going to predict right now.

Zipper pulls are the next big thing in personal expression for... For nerds like us. You heard it here first folks. Hank Green fashion expert. So yeah, I think that this is a, you know, obviously this is a galaxy that's very far away. It was a long time ago, but I think that this is a case of just convergent, fastening technology. Like it's just going to happen that these are the things that work well, Velcro, you know, straps and belts and zippers and buttons and magnetic snaps.

Absolutely. All right. Do you have another one for us? Yes, and actually if you're, here's a little hint as to which one I'm going to ask, if you're having a cold, you may want to eat something spicy. Dear Hank and Mayam, my boss keeps asking me things like, are you Kim Jong Un's cousin or did you bring dog meat for lunch? Oh God. This is obviously a harmless joke but I hate it.

Is it? I'm the only... Is it a harmless joke? Wait, well let's see what the question is. I'm the only Asian working in a building of about 200 white people. So when I first started, I cracked some jokes about being Asian to make everyone feel comfortable with me.

But now a year later, my boss is daily, racially centered banter is getting old annoying and at times mean. Should I say something to stop her? I feel like if I do, she won't know how else to communicate with me. Also, I feel like it's kind of my fault for starting it. Any advice? Kim Chi and Vegemite, Sam.

Oh, you're a first of all. Well, I guess, so I'm understanding now. So you've got 200 white people in this building. Your direct report boss is things that, you know, your race is a thing to comment upon like the color of your shirt. But worse than that, way worse than that, I don't like. So the thing is, this boss is obviously not the top boss at your company. 200 people, you have an HR department,

and this is what the HR department is for. When you have a product, like when there's a problem with your boss that doesn't have anything to do with your job, that's who you're supposed to talk to, and that is the kind of, the exact kind of problem that they want to hear about because it is a huge, like it's a big, it's pretty big deal. Mm-hmm.

And also, I think what's really interesting, the, I feel like it's kind of my fault for starting it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, let's not go down that road. There's no excuse for what's going on. It is not your fault for starting it unless by starting it, you mean being Asian. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, it's interesting that coming into a place where you are different. There's often, there's often a sort of psychological desire to be like, hey, I know. I'm aware that I'm different. And here, here it is, I'm Asian. And here's my joke about how I'm a different person. And like, trying to, like, a little bit alleviate the tension of the difference that's there. I have, as, right, and as a Jewish person, I've absolutely done this. I've absolutely, when I'm in a situation where,

it is clear that people are either unfamiliar with Jewish people or have not had a lot of interaction with Jewish people. There is a little bit of kind of social ice breaking you do as it were. I mean, I would never say like, how do you like my hook nose or anything like that? And anything that I would say would not,

it would not be acceptable for that to open the door to people saying, oh, are you never gonna buy lunch or anything like that. So yeah. Yeah, I mean, there has a huge difference between those two things. Calling it out and being like, I'm aware that I'm different and then someone else being like, yes, you are.

Let me re-emphasize that every day for the rest of the time that you work here, because that was fun when you did it. Oh, man. No, not okay. And, you know, a really, really important, you know, kind of 21st century realization, these kind of things don't have to be brushed under the rug anymore.

A lot of the explosion of the notion of equality and liberalism, a lot of that sometimes is taken too far, but my feeling is let's err on the side of being sensitive, cautious, and respectful. Oh, man. It's very weird when people are like, oh, God, I have to think about that now, and I'm just like, well, you know, if you want to be nice, like if you want to be, you know, if you want to respect other humans who are different from you, sure.

So I'm so sorry that it's inconvenient, I guess. Don't put a question mark. Yeah, I have a, I'm, I'm, I'm, I deal with this a lot in my professional life because I, I have a science show on YouTube where people are like, of us, of, you know, they're familiar with people who are like them mostly. And they are, and like the vast majority of social viewers are white dudes. And they, you know, it's difficult to understand the experience of other people.

And maybe they're not experienced at it. And when they're like, why did you talk that way? I'm like, well, because I have trans friends who are like, it's better, it's less troubling for me when you talk a certain way, when you don't connect biological sex and gender. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, then I won't do that. And then people, and then somebody who this doesn't

affect at all starts just screaming at me. Like I have caused the greatest injustice in human history by acknowledging the existence of trans people. And I'm like, I don't know where to go from here. Like why are you so mad? I didn't tell you how to talk. I talked the way that I thought was respectful

to the people that have talked to me about this issue. And yeah, totally lost on that. And I wanted to say it out loud because I've been I've been experiencing it for the last two years and I didn't really talk about it until recently and I started talking about it to the SciShow audience and it has been, I feel like better for everybody to have it a little bit out in the open. So, Anyhow, this question is from Rachel, who asks, dear brothers from a mother with the last name of another color,

that's a reference to a song I wrote a long time ago, but unfortunately it's not applicable in this situation unless Beallik is a color. Actually, it is from the root of the word white. Yes, from the Bialic stock region of Russia, Ukraine, Poland. Hey! But we're not via. Unfortunately, amazing.

Amazing. Perfect. Excellent. It siblings at least. Rachel asks, I was playing a game of French toast online with friends that I met at NerdCon Nerdfighteria. Thanks for that, by the way. And we stumbled upon a problem that

is threatening to rip us apart. Is a necktie a type of scarf? In all caps. God. I mean, I don't even want to look at the rest of this question. It's very long. There's a substantial amount of discussion of what a scarf is that continues here. Can we just get beyond needing to label everything to know what things go in what category

and people being like, pop turts or sandwiches and I'm like, like stop it just go away. Okay, but Rachel wants to know I want you to tell her. My mom is a pop tart of sandwich because it's it's basically two pieces of bread with something in the middle. No. No, you're not ready to accept that. It's not. What makes it not a sandwich then? You and me hugging someone in the middle of us doesn't make us a sandwich either. But it's food. It's two pieces of bread.

No, but this is like the transitive property of our existence. Okay. Well, we're food to someone or some animal Happy good a shark to a shark three people hugging is a sandwich perfect done That shark is gonna call it a pop tart is what they're gonna call it If a pop tart is not a sandwich then a necktie is not a scarf The pop tart is not a sandwich, then a necktie is not a scarf. Okay. My feeling is the fact that the word tie is in the name of it,

means it's not a scarf. It's got the word tie. That's like a verb, it's a thing you do with it. But, oh God, now we're in the rabbit hole, because you could tie a scarf. I've done it. You could. No, I do it.

But it's not called a scarf tie. But, what I... You can also not tie Would I you can also not wait you can also not it but you cannot you can you can not a tie You can wear a scarf as a hat. You can't wear a neck tie as a hat But that's not helpful My mother used to like make me wear headbands made out of vintage ties. It was like a thing. I think I can picture blossom doing that. Exactly. She also would give me, I would wear neck ties like belts and when I would be like, mom, I don't think this is cool, should be like, Jean Kelly did it.

That's a true story. So is the necktie a belt? Is the next question? Everything is everything. Oh, wow. Okay, yes. Okay. Well, you know what, I think it's up in the air.

Honestly, Rachel, I think we're not gonna get there. I think that there's the comes a point at which things blend. And there is no definition of what a sandwich is or what a scarf is. And we're just gonna have to accept that there are these areas where there will be disagreement. Like some people will say that color is orange

and some people will say that color is red because it's right between red and orange. And that's just part of life. And you're gonna. And also this is gonna vary culturally as well, right? Sure. We have a culture with a language that has names for escots and ties and bow ties and scarves.

And I'm sure there are other things I don't know the names for that are related to things that go around your neck. But we only have one word for snow, right? No, you clearly don't live in Montana. We have lots of words for snow. All right, I stand corrected. Oh, man. Well, I feel like I asked that question just to get mad at Rachel, but I'm not really mad at Rachel.

I'm mad at Rachel for letting this come between her and her friends. Like, don't let this tear you apart. Like you could tear apart a necktie after tying it. Right. Rip it off, just rip the whole controversy apart and say, we share values and we share a connection and we share experiences. And that's what ties us together Not this stupid piece of silk or other kind of fabric Okay, you know him in another question. I do. I'm really excited about this one both for you and for me

Thomas says Dear my I'm in Hank. Oh, I love this question so much at the time of writing this Okay. Thomas says, dear Maya Mnhank, oh, I love this question so much, at the time of writing this, I've just arrived at my favorite place to go and relax, my local library. While the library is awesome for my de-stressification needs, being quiet, peaceful, it is currently packed

with shouting babies, and they're equally loud mothers on account of it being, according to the website, baby time. Ha, ha, the website, hmm, baby time. Wait, wait for it. I'm gonna ask it the way I would ask it. How is this a thing? If there's one thing everyone learns about libraries is that they're supposed to be quiet, how do you two feel about this?

Should baby time be a thing? Also, should I get another quiet place during the weekly shouting match between tiny humans that seems to be taking place coffee and rage Thomas. Thomas, are you single because you are absolutely the person for me. I am a mother. I'm a mother of two children and this stuff makes me bonkers. I love it. I go ahead. I love it. I tell him that it's very baby and child friendly. And like, the owners of businesses are aware that in order to fill out their clientele, they have to appeal to parents and get them out of the house and get them going to places. And so, in my pre-baby life, like, I haven't gotten to the point where I can even do this

yet because my child sleeps every 30 seconds, and we don't wanna mess with it. At this age, at six months, they're always either about, they're just getting up or they're about to go to sleep. There's like 30 minutes during what you can do stuff. It's very frustrating. But eventually I imagine this will happen.

But before in my pre-baby life, I would show up at a bar, and then suddenly it would be like a person would be on the stage singing children's music and a thousand children would be running around screaming and it would be all, and I was just like, I came to a bar! I came to a bar to do bar things, and suddenly I found myself in what is apparently

like a bar jim buri. It's as if the McDonald's play pin. It's a bar buri. Yeah, got it on with a regular dive bar in Mizzoula, Montana, that smells like cigarettes and a century of beer poured across the floorboards. This is not normal. No, but it is a thing. But it's, but I mean like it's great.

I'm happy now that there will be a future in which I can take my three-year-old screaming pile of annoyance to a bar and have a beer. So I literally could probably do an hour podcast by myself about this very topic. Because I think here's the thing, and I live in Los Angeles, which is kind of the ultimate in accommodating the baby culture. I think that there's a couple things that are going on, and one of the things, and as a person who advocates for natural birth, and I'm a lactation educator, counselor, and a lot of my world revolves around people honoring the natural rhythms of babies and children, I think that there's this notion that life shouldn't change or

can't change. And we have all of these activities and things that you can do to try and prove to yourself that life doesn't have to change just because you have kids. So, you know, you can take your baby to yoga and they have movie theaters where they turn the lights down, but not all the way, and everyone's encouraged to bring their children. So their children can run around the theater and you can all go to the movies with your children still there, or there's a restaurant here, and, you know, no judgment against people who want to use it the restaurant has a a separate back room

with hired babysitters and you drop your children off so you can have a fancy Beverly Hills lunch while a stranger watches your children well qualified stranger theoretically sure but then again for me the the overarching notion here is how can you get back to your life as soon as possible? And for a lot of people, I understand that's a valuable priority. But as a person who, again, advocates for really living in rhythm with the small mammal that you have ricocheted out of your body, it is also okay to acknowledge that your

life is going to change. And that tension is what makes us human and it's what makes us able to accommodate the changes in our body, the changes in our culture. It doesn't all have to be the same. So obviously Thomas may have to find another time. He's welcome to gently tell the head of the library or the HR department at the library that this seems an odd choice of a place to do baby time, but I'm the kind of person I love my kids, not so keen on other people's kids because I can't control them,

I can't control the way people parent them. When I go to grown up restaurants with my children, I always go at the earliest reservation time, I ask to be seated quickly, I order quickly and I get out of there because not everyone has to like being with my children in a grown-up restaurant. And there were about two years when my ex and I didn't really go out to restaurants. We cooked, we ordered in, we had people bring us food because we didn't feel like it was other people's responsibility to tolerate us wanting to feel normal again. We made a decision to have a baby.

We dealt with it the way we felt was most appropriate for society at large. And so Thomas, I share your rage. I absolutely am holding your hand through this whole thing. So I think that your arguments here are completely valid for the barbary, movie theater, restaurant with a nursery in the back, kind of situation where people are like, I had children, but I don't want to have had children, and so I want to have my normal life,

how can I have a lot of money to spend trying to pretend for a moment that it's just me and my wife again. And I understand that, and I understand I'm wanting to do that sometimes. But I think that there's a difference between that and what I'm struggling with right now is I would like to meet some people who have six month old babies so that we can talk about what they're doing

and commiserate and be like, you're doing great and just like in be like, someday our kids maybe are gonna go to school together. And I think that that's the purpose of baby time at the library. Like it's not like, you know, it's not like these parents would be going to the library. They're not going to the library to use the library

while their babies are there. They're going, it's like an event for parents to meet each other. And libraries are, in addition to being, providing the service of, you know, available media for you to acquire temporarily, they're also community organizing and event spaces. And it would be nice if we had more different kinds of community organizing and event spaces, but we kind of just have the library.

And libraries want to be a useful thing in the world, and since this is a useful thing, like, so if you think about it that way, maybe it's a little, it causes a little bit less rage, that it's providing a service for your community, but I understand, and it is hard to find other quiet places. And I hope that this doesn't start happening to like coffee shops, like places where I'll just give me a place where it can be quiet and we can do our thing. And I think there will always be places for you. But in short, yes, Thomas, this is a thing.

It's a thing. It's a thing. I have another question, Mayem. It's a thing. I have another question, Mayem. It's from Ben, who asks, dear Hank and Mayem, I was opening some boxes at work today and I smelled a little bit like gasoline. I brought up the fact that I enjoy the smell of gasoline with a coworker and we'd be

in talking about how it does seem to be a smell that a lot of people like. Why is that? I understand why evolution would shape our brains to enjoy sweet smells because that indicates like sugar or food. I understand why we might dislike the smell of rotting meat or poo because it contains things

that could kill us, but why gasoline? If you brought gasoline back to the time when our ancestors lived in Africa two million years ago would they appreciate the smell too? Like this is a dangerous thing. This is me talking now. Why, like, do not, like, gasoline is, like, it's cancer in a bottle.

Like, do not, like, if you huff it, you will die eventually. If you drink it, you will die. But I think this, and it's clearly not just me because Ben thinks it too, that gasoline kind of smells good. Oh, I love gasoline. So I mean, I don't like, I did a little bit of research.

There's some thought that like, oh, it's just like it connects you back to your past and it's like a nostalgia thing. But there's also some indication that you like the smell of gasoline more, like you rate it more highly on the pleasantness scale if you are currently hungry, which makes me think that since it's similar molecule

to a lot of aromatic molecules, that are the things that give fruits and fruits their fun smells and good smells. And in this question, Ben talks about sweet smells, but there are no, they can't smell sugar. So yeah, so there are smells that are associated with sweetness because they come along with sweetness and they tend to be these aromatic hydrocarbons that benzene, which is like the primary thing in gasoline, is sort of shaped similarly to.

And so I'm guessing that there's kind of maybe some similarity there. So yeah, you know about the brain, some. Well, yeah, and I think that for some people, a lot of the gasoline research out there in terms of why people like it says that, oh, you're feeling a small high. You're getting a small high. Even if it's not a conscious high,

meaning you're not consciously processing, like, whoa, this feels whatever, that you are associating it, you know, on an unconscious level with some sort of euphoria. I noticed one person when answering this question on the inner webs said, like, I like gasoline because I associate it with fun, like boats, like jet skis. I don't think for me that's it, but I really, you know, I don't think that I have a death wish, but I like any noxious smell. I like, you know, those magic markers or like the really thick markers

that we used to make poster boards for science experiments. Like, that's just like, I don't know why that's my jam, but it is, I've never passed out from it. I have two children, one of whom really likes that smell and he's sort of my mini-mean genetically, and the other one who's more his dad genetically does not like the smell. So I will continue to do this experiment.

I'm not having any more children, but wouldn't that have been a great experiment? Do it. Yeah. Well now you are, you are obligated by science to make more babies. To just pop a few more out. Yeah. It's out. It, it's how it works. Yes.

Well, basically, though, we don't know, but apparently it is a common thing. I didn't realize until I read that question that it wasn't just me. I've been kind of quiet about it, experiencing shame. Right. I've got this weird thing about me that I like to smell this dangerous thing.

You love gasoline and you're proud. Okay. Well, let's just throw it in a perfume then. No, say it's dangerous thing. You love gasoline and you're proud. Well, let's just throw it in a perfume then. Yeah, coming next year, Motocross the scent. Oh, yeah, that's That's that's pheromonic for sure All right, let's let's hit another question. This one's from Liza. Oh, go ahead. Oh, it was my turn. All right. No.

It is. And I said her name wrong anyway. So you go. This is a rough one, but I really want to ask Darcy's question. Dear Hank and Mayam, I would like to preface this email by saying that I am not xenophobic or discriminatory towards religions.

I just don't understand the tradition of Islam of women covering themselves. My question is this, how should I feel about head scarves, and do you feel differently about hijabs, kneecobs, and burkas? To me, they seem oppressive. I know in many countries, especially in the Middle East, these are used to oppress women as shown in society and law. However, I can appreciate that some people wear them to respect God, but if God made people perfect, and so on, why do we need to cover ourselves like that? Why don't men have to cover heads and faces, specifically in Islam, but in some societies women are demonized and even killed for not wearing a burka? Again, not as xenophobic, Darcy.

PS. Is there a term that means discriminatory against religious beliefs? As I know, I use xenophobic incorrectly throughout this email. That's several questions. There's a bunch of questions and a bunch of hard questions. Yes. Let's tackle them all. Or a couple. Yeah.

Well. So the reason that this question is so interesting to me is that I come from a religious tradition where women do cover their heads and also parts of their bodies that often men don't have to cover. And so obviously Islam is different than religious Judaism, but I think one of the main things that sort of strikes me about people's often misunderstandings about religion and also about the restrictions specifically on women, is that we are the interpreters of religious traditions as human beings. And the notion that God has passed down ways for me to cover myself or restrict my freedoms,

to me, those really need to be understood in the context of history and the anthropology of parts of the world where these religions originated. So, you know, the laws that we impose on ourselves and on other people are exactly that. They are made by humans and in most cases they're made by men. So the notion that women have been restricted in Islam or even in Judaism, the fact is for pretty much all of human history, women have been restricted in a lot of ways, and part of that is biology, you know, as Freud told us, right? Biology is destiny, and to some sense that's true, but I think it's important to realize that our interpretation is what's important, and the way we understand it in terms of history is important as well.

There are restrictions for men, for example, in religious Judaism, in terms of modesty and how they dress. But historically, there have always been differences in the way men and women are treated. Now, I'm not saying that Berkaz is the way to go. For me, that doesn't work, or the notion that when girls are, you know, of the age that they start their menstrual cycle, that we cover their heads, in religious Judaism, head covering is seen as a change in status from unmarried to married. And that's sort of how I've grown up framing it. It is very upsetting to see women completely covered.

And a lot of women who claim that they're happy that way are also growing up and living in a culture of religious patriarchy. So a lot of times we don't know things are not okay until we see more of the world and understand sort of more of how history is moving forward. So I don't know that there's an easy answer to this. I will say though that we shouldn't just demonize religions because honestly it's culture in general that has distinguished men and women because of their biology and I will say, though, that we shouldn't just demonize religions, because honestly, it's culture in general that has distinguished men and women because of their biology and because then of how culture interprets that. But blaming God is really not the place to go here, because God, as far as I'm concerned, God's in charge of creating the world and then we're in charge of

being the human beings that try to interpret that and bring meaning to the world in a way that God cannot communicate directly with us. I feel tremendously unqualified to answer this question, and so I'm glad that you are here today to help with that. The thing that I generally try to remember is that we all do things based on our culture that don't, like, that we think make perfect sense. But if you think about them, they don't really. Like, it would be very weird for me to go leave my house in a sundress, and people would comment upon that, and many people would, you know,

if I did that in the wrong place, I would be in a lot of trouble. Like, I would potentially not make it home on Skate in America. And so we have, and I can also say that I prefer to not wear sunglasses. Why is that? Probably not because I wouldn't be comfortable in them if I had been raised wearing sunglasses. I'd probably be super down with it it and I'd probably look pretty cute. But the fact that I have grown up in a culture

where that is the norm, I would never be like, this is like, we need to restructure my society or even force people to dress a certain way when they have had their life, you know, like when they have been told their whole life that like you should cover your head and that is a thing that happens, you know,

in, you know, in, you know, and lots of different traditions for both genders, you know, seeks, for example, like, in public always have their heads covered. So like, like, I get very weirded out when it's like, yes, we should understand that this is a tool of culture and that it isn't, and that it is a system that, like comes out of men trying to control women

or just, or succeeding in controlling women. But at the same time, you can't jump in and tell people that they can't dress a certain way anymore, because you're trying to free them, because that is the opposite of freeing them. Absolutely. It's a hard one though, but it is very important. I think we did well, between the two of us,

I think we did well. I think it's very important to separate the idea of culture and the idea of religion, and know that there are many religious people who do things differently and many people who feel very free and very liberated and also wear headscarfs. I have those friends and it doesn't even occur to me that their headscarf is a result of their heritage coming from a patriarchal place, because first of all of our heritage does, and even now it does. But they are now having their experience of their worldview, their religion, their connection, their Americanness, all of the things that inform who they are,

like, that's just that, like, their continuing desire to have, to, you know, dress in the way that they like to dress is a thing, and that's dope. All right, Maya, I have one more question before we get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon. This one's from Liza, who asks, do you're Hank at Maya, I'm 15 years old and I want to get a summer job. The thing is I have no idea how to describe myself in a CV, I'm a very awkward and shy person.

How did you describe yourself when you were looking for your first job, do you be as a device as welcome, yours, Liza. I'll be honest, you just walk into Walmart and you're like, I would like to stock your shelves and they'll be like, okay, here's $7 an hour, whatever it is. Like if you're getting that kind of job,

they're happy to give it. I actually have a, I mean, in, if I CV, I usually think that means sort of, like an academic resume of like, you don't usually have to describe yourself in a CV, but I guess maybe she's talking about I usually think that means sort of an academic resume of like, you don't usually have to describe yourself in a CV, but I guess maybe she's talking about if there's like an application, it says describe yourself,

and she's confused as to how you describe yourself as a little shy person. Yeah, so I mean, I happen to be an introverted person, and to me, I like that term more than awkward and shy. I don't typically say to people, I'm a little bit on the spectrum, I usually say, I'm an extroverted introvert here are the things that I excel at. Some of these things are challenges for me, and I'm very, you know, excited slash, motivated slash interested in being able to find a place at your, you know,

place where I would like to work. Yeah. And also, I think that it's important to know that like, there are a lot of things that you aren't gonna be good at because you've never had a job. So you don't, you don't exactly know what people want, what, like what this job is and how it works and what you will be doing and what's required of you.

But I do think that it's like focusing on strengths, obviously, as the thing that you do in job applications. Can you work when you're 15? Is that a loud? And being honest. And also being honest. Is that allowed? Like when is the age where you can start working?

A clearly 15. I think 15 in some places, yeah. 14 minimum age for employment and specified occupations outside school hours. 16 basic minimum age for employment. So I don't even know if you can. You gotta be careful, Lisa. Who come?

Maybe she's on the cusp. Come on now. Let's not get brought up on the details. She's asking a question. She's awkward and shy. At least she describes herself. At least the right thing by not saying, I'm 15 and 3-quarters years old,

because that is intolerable. So. She can't win with you. She can't. So I appreciate Lisa, you haven't done it the way that you've done it. Because obviously, Summer is coming up and you may be 16 by then.

But yeah, I think it's a great thing to get a job at that age and to get a little bit of responsibility and learn what it is to, and maybe even become a little less awkward in shy as you connect with folks. I'm not saying, stop being introverted, but being able to like everything gets better with practice. Well, and also finding out what you don't like

is often as important as finding out what you do. And a very close friend of mine who's a very strong introvert and really, really struggles in social situations. You know, she actually likes working in an office filing things because her actual interaction with people's minimal, she's got the things that she does, she knows how to do them and she does them on time

and she goes home. You know, that works for her. So you will also find what works and doesn't work for you as the person that you are and the person that you're supposed to be. And the person that you will be, because of course, remember that we all continue to change. I'm 36 years old. Oh my gosh, I'm going to be 37 really soon. By the time this podcast comes

out, I'm going to be 37. Are you 36 and 3 quarters? Oh, I feel the burn. Oh, somebody get a salve. Does it smell like gasoline or burning rubber? Because I know you like it. Oh, man. Jeez. Yeah. This podcast is brought to you by Sick Burns. Just don't, don't, don't do it. Don't, don't put yourself in a situation where mind beogs going to get you because she will. Says every man I've ever dated. This podcast has been brought to you by Shark Sandwich, also known as Three People Hugging. Oh, delicious, delicious.

Everything is a sandwich. If there's three things, and you've put them next to each other, if you could conceivably think of a situation in which something might consume those things. It's a sandwich. It's podcast is also brought to you by Mickey Mouse Zipper Pills. Absolutely adorable on a young Mayan Biolic who is also wearing a neck tie as a belt, like Jean Kelly. This podcast is brought to you by Child Labor Laws, helping you figure out how far through

a year you are allowed to apply for a job here. You show up and you're like, hello, I'm 15 and 3-quarters, and I would like a job here at Walmart. And they'll be like, absolutely, absolutely. Let us begin the application process. Well, you know know it is time for the all important news from marzen a fc limelton did you i have heard that there is news from a fc limelton and i want to hear it

oh man the goalkeeper shock is what's happening yeah yeah but what is what is a legend i'm sure has been let go

uh... yeah so both the goalkeeper so what's the goalkeeper so first james shay is leaving but now is that it dandy bullman and chris roberton are also leaving kings metto oh my gosh i know man and you know there are tough decisions to make

uh... and you know there have been over a hundred appearances in all competitions for this club between boman and shea but you know unfortunately what what what neal hardly has said he's the boss he said we've reached a point where finances and different things go on and with a heavy heart we have to let Danny go and uh... it's it's it's such's such a bubble when finance and in different things

and especially with a player like dandy because they have such strong allegiances with him he's never let them down never let them down but finances and things um... you know have really gotten in the way uh... people are gonna miss him and uh... he's really been a step up kind of player his attitude they say is a model for i mean he sounds like the perfect guy but as i said finances and and different things

oh that's a part of the more i mean i'd i'd john is going to be so sad that he wasn't here to deliver that news probably so sad often he's going to deliver it again next week oh yeah but i was tragic i mean to shock palpable shock i i'm pleased that you were here to probably so sad enough and he's gonna deliver it again next week. Oh yeah, but I'm so tragic. I mean, it's a shock, palpable shock. I am pleased that you were here to give that news because I think I enjoyed it more than I would have if John had to do with it. I'm still reeling, I'm just reeling.

Well, I mean, aren't we all? And I'm sure that everybody out there who's listening to the pod is, you know, gently weeping into their car steering wheels or wherever you happen to be. Drive safe, everyone. And don't forget, if you put something in the oven, it's probably on fire by now because we get such a good job of distracting you. The news from Mars is good and bad, mayhem. In the next, right now, we have nine operating missions on or around Mars. So we've got rovers, we've got orbiters. That's just a lot. There's a lot happening all at the same time.

It's more than ever, but in 2020, we're gonna have nine more missions. We're gonna double the number of missions that are headed to Mars. We've got SpaceX. We've got, I lost it. We've got SpaceX. We've got the Mars 2020 rover. We've got the European Space Station T's XO Mars mission.

We've got China's thing. We've got the United Air Emirates Hope Orbiter. We've got Indy's Mars Orbiter 2. So yeah, yeah, there's a lot happening, and this is great. This is very exciting. But, we only have one way to communicate between Mars and Earth. We've got this deep space network that NASA set up, and it lets all other space agencies piggyback on it.

But it can only handle so much data, and you need a lot of data not just for sending back pretty pictures and spectroscopy stuff, but also just to figure out telemetry and know where everything is, and keep things in the right orbit and make sure they land in the right place, and keeping them moving around on the surface of the planet. And it's going to start getting overloaded to the point where people are legitimately concerned about whether we will have too many Mars missions

if they all make it, which we know we're all hoping to do, that we won't have enough bandwidth to manage the amount of data that we need just to keep the emissions running, not even including sending back beautiful high resolution images and videos. So caution to the world, we need a more robust deep space network. This sounds like someone should have thought about before you and me say it right now,

but you're absolutely right. All these missions happen to really quick. They're happening faster. People are designing the missions more quickly. Space X is like, we're land a lander on Mars in 2020 And you're like what it's it's 20 2017 you guys like that's not long from now So we're getting better at doing it fast and uh, yeah, so this is the thing that we need to think about and thankfully people are starting to think about it And I'm sure they'll you know, that's the thing about NASA like they see problems coming pretty pretty long way away they're gonna figure it out. I'm hopeful.

They're gonna figure it out. I'm hopeful. We're all hopeful. My this has been an absolute joy. You're really good at this. Oh thank you. I mean I learned most things I know from you so thank you. Oh that's definitely not the case. At least in this arena it is. Right, sure, maybe. In terms of advice podcasts, but I appreciate you taking the time out of your day, spending time and if you want to check out mine. Well, thank you. Thank you for the faith in me to allow me to participate in this. Well, if you want to check out some of the other cool stuff that my mom is doing, her website is Grock Nation,

GR OK Nation. And if you want to check out more of what's going on with Dear Hank and John, you can check out our Patreon at patreon.com slash Dear Hank and John. We're not doing it this weekend, Ryan's, because my mom doesn't have any idea what that is. And I don't want to throw her that deep into the deep end. But there will be another one next week when John comes back.

So, I appreciate all of you hanging out with this podcast, is edited by Nicholas Jenkins, Rosie on a Halsey Roll Haas, and Sheridan Gibson, our producers. Victoria Bonjardo, is our social media manager. The music is from Gunnarola, and I think I said all the things. I usually write it down beforehand, and honestly John mostly handles this part, so I forget how it goes. You can email us your questions at hankinjohnatgmail.com, and as we say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome. you