Dear Mr Knickerthief - Pregnancy Side Effects

Episode Date: November 17, 2025

The baby's here! Press play on our pregnancy special to mark the fact that Jahannah is now in the Mum club, all sleep deprived and knee-deep in nappies but very happy.In the final episode of this series, we read out your best, worst and most bizarre cravings, smells, side effects and traumas.If you love Dear Mr. Knickerthief, leave a review and make sure you subscribe to get the latest episodes first.And we always want to hear from you! Get in touch with the podcast on Instagram at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/dearmrknickerthief⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Sophie Craig at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/itssophiecraig⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow Jahannah James at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/jahannahjames⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Part of ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Podomedy⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, the independent podcast comedy network.

Hello and welcome to Dear Miss Nickythew I'm Sophie and I'm Johanna and this is the podcast where we used to read out my diary but now we've opened up the floor to you guys

and now we're going to read out yours enjoy and remember it's never too much it might be too much she's not pregnant I'm not pregnant I am not with child well she is

I mean you have a child I'm now with the child but I'm not with the child yeah here she is welcome back Queen I'm so confident back to the land of the living oh it's amazing here she is and baby is beautiful baby is currently in the back room with dad the most beautiful baby in the whole entire world thank you she is gorgeous remember I said to you before she was born because you get this thing when you're a mum where you get all like rose tinted glasses and everyone thinks their baby is the most beautiful baby and I was like if I get that will you tell me if she's you know not a looker and I did say I would tell you you were like you were like you were like Yeah, I will.

No, same with you. If, you know, you're just like, oh, look. No, no, no, you can't do the same with me now because you've had a really attractive baby. No, you can't do the same with me now. But she, but she is objectively, she's objectively quite pretty. She's stunning. I remember looking at her going like, I think she's quite pretty. Like, is it?

Am I just, am I Dilloo or is she quite pretty? No, she's unreal. Like, like a, like a doll. Like when she was born, it was just like. so oh yeah we haven't update them because i was going to be your birthing partner yes the plan was sophie was going to be there yeah but then our last episode literally a day or two after our last episode that we recorded you went in for a scan and they were like she's got to come out she got to come out right now and it was yeah within a few days a week she was having a C-section so went in for the 36

week scan and they were like she'd been completely like fine at every point up until then and And then they were like, ah, she's really, really small. The placenta is not feeding her anymore. We need to get her out. Fucking placenta caused so much havoc for you. So I was like, ah-ah. So then you have Sophie's choice. Would you like a forced chemical induction birth?

Or would you like a C-section? I was like, I'll go for the C-section, thank you. So we had a plan C. And, yeah, whipped her out a few days later. And there she was. She's amazing. And I'm actually lorkey, little bit glad that I wasn't at the birth because it yeah I think it could have like it could

have scarred me for life yeah um because at the end of it you get a lovely baby I get PTSD so you get you get to see things that I could never have seen there's a reason why it comes out the other end that you can't see um so yeah I mean we would have manifested a lovely calm birth but it yeah it happened the way it needed to happen she just get out and be fed on the outside and she's here My calm water berth with twinkly lights and lovely music. I made like a whole water berthing playlist. All went out the window. It was a bit of a hectic C-section.

And my partner saw everything. And I think he's traumatised. Yeah. Because he saw everything. Everything. Is it TMI to share that he was like, he saw, I walk past they whipped her away because she needed a little bit of help when she first came out.

So he saw the bottom end and he was like, I should have done a little bit of maintenance for you. Yeah, he did. He said, babe, I didn't, I didn't realize, I don't know. You're butt naked when you have a C-section. Nobody, I've never seen that on the movies. I thought, it's coming out at the belly. Why do you need to have, I can have pants on?

No way, Jose. No, you are. She's getting very passionate about it. You are completely butt-naked. So they take you in, they have a little robe, but then that comes immediately off, and then you're just sitting there naked, and then they do the spinal, or they lie down and they're going to be oh no you still have the thing on at that point and then they put the curtain up and then someone comes along and goes well we're just going to

expose you now and i just went oh thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you oh thank you so much oh thank you and then then someone comes in like just gonna pop a catheter in you right now and you don't feel it because but but you just someone's there just working away and how do they get a catheter in? Is it just like they just put like a little, like it's just a little like thing around your little ureter? I mean I didn't see it or feel it. Doesn't go in in, does it? I think it goes it goes up the wee hole

didn't it? Goes up the wee hole. I've got to have one of them. Yeah. I felt it on the way out. I had to go to the toilet with the nurse and she got down on the floor and pulled it out and it was, didn't hurt but it was the weirdest sensation in the world.

Yeah. It's so weird. Honestly, you lose all dignity when you go to hospital. Yeah, I bet. And the nurses are amazing, like the midwives and the nurses that were coming out and they were changing, obviously you've got a catheter and you've just got like a bag of wee that keeps getting full up and I was hydrated. You were. I came to see her literally a couple of hours later. There was so much wee. There was so much way. I remember I was sat by the bed and I was like, well, you are a thirsty gal. I know. I was like, oh, so hydrated. It was a very hot day. It was like 30 degrees. It was a middle of heat wave. Yeah.

the heat wave she came out she was born on the end of mercury retrograde as well which i'm just saying like an angel number is hello thank you um yeah and that little girl is going to change the world but oh my god i just looked at a book called atlantis as i was saying that oh yeah because she's called well it's not a spoiler but she's called atlas after the first king of atlantis of course very on brand if you know johanna then that makes sense if you don't then it's just cool but but yeah so she she came out very embarrassing short stay in hospital. I had to bring them a fan

because you had a fan didn't you but then it broke. So I had to go, I came up to the hospital that I had to do drops some bits off and had to come back and bring screwdrivers to fix their fan and me and her partner in the car park trying to fix this fan. Yeah but you know why the fan broke?

Oh yeah. Because you're a bloody balloon. She came in with a massive thing balloon with all these like ribbons on the balloon and she put it in the corner and then it got sucked into the fan and then the ribbon broke off and got stuck in the propeller of the fan

so the fan broke and I was like it's the middle of a heat wave and oh my god and so it's cool Sophie's like can you come back with a screwdriver and fix the fans but also the solver

like you made the problem and solved it quite quickly. It caused the chaos and also fix the chaos and you're just down in the car park and I'm fixing the fan that was amazing

because then we had the fan all night and that was like yeah and everybody else was melting in the ward but you thought ahead but yeah it's um It's, the labour ward is not for the week.

No. It reminded me of a walking wounded, like a World War I hospital. Field hospital. Yeah. Everyone's just walking around with, from after battle. It was literally drips and blood and everyone's traumatised and everyone's talking about it. Like, it's really normal. And you're just, we had a little, a lady that was next to us,

she sort of opened the curtain in the morning and just sort of wandered in. I think she was seriously shell-shocked from her birth. Yeah. And she's like, hello. I'm like, oh, hi, how are you? And she's like, yeah, that was a lot. I'm like, oh, how's your birth? And she's like, wow, it got stuck.

And we're like, oh, it's like, yeah, I got stuck in the pelvis. And it was way too late for a C-section, so they had to hoover him out. And we were like, oh, which is like, I lost four pints of blood. And we're like, oh, are you okay? Wow. And I was like, is your first one? She was like, yeah, never again. And then wandered off again.

Oh, just coming in to just be like, Yeah, help. Just needed to tell someone. Just validate me for a second. Hello. Honestly. And you are. The husbands are shell shocked.

Everyone's just coming out like, What just happened? Sure. And I was thinking about it going, why does nobody talk about how crazy it is? And then I realized I was on the labour ward, which is where everyone goes when something is a little bit medical. Yeah, medical health.

C-sections. Whereas the other end of the hospital is the birthing centre, which is that's where you get the tranquil music and the midwives. So everybody over there is having a lovely time. No, if you're having a C-section, you'll be with the women that have had foreseps or like spinals. That's why it was walking wounded because everybody literally had been sliced or sucked and diced. And we're all there like, and we just got home. And then the day after the midwife came around and we're like, she's looking a bit jaundice.

You have to go back to hospital. So then we had to go back to hospital. You can't walk very well when you were. an amazing way but yeah all good now all happy and she wasn't joined

she smashed it and she wasn't joined us it was all good just a wasted trip to the hospital really just taking the pace just that we popped back missed it

oh really wanted to go back to the labour world where's that woman that's just wandering around so yeah so yeah Jay is now a mum which is just the best thing ever and it's been

honestly it's actually I think Because, like, I'm just so proud of you. And it's been, like, a real privilege and honor to see you, like, transitioning into, like, that. You've been right there. So it's, it's, um, it's weird. I think if we've done this podcast, maybe two weeks after or three weeks after I've given birth, it would have been a bit different.

Because the journey, yeah, I came out the gates, ecstatic. Oh, she, she was hugging people, guys. I was high. I don't know if, if you don't know, Jay, I'm not hugger. Right. And I, I, I, I am. I'm a, every time I'm leaving you, I'll be like, love you. Bye! Like, bye, I really love you. Like, literally like Buddy the elf. And Jay's like, yep, see ya.

I'm like, buddy the elf's dad. Literally. All right, buddy, calm down. Literally. The messages were like, hello sweetness. Like, oh my God, how are you darling? Yes, love you. And we were like, me and my friends were like, oh my God, that's amazing. She was she was instigating hugs. And then, yeah, about 10 days later, back to Jay again. God. But yeah, it was great. She was on a little...

I was a little crowd. It was beautiful. Really, really lovely. My skin felt amazing. My hair felt amazing. Food for you because you had HG. The whole way through. I was sick.

Up until I went into the C-section, I was sick every day. And I could eat. I was eating. I was like, what's in this? My partner's like, salt? And I was like, oh, it's amazing.

It was so good. And then, yeah, I kept hugging my dog. I was like, he's so soft. And I said to you, I was like, is this normal? You're like, I think you're high, babe. I was like, I think I am. She's really enjoying all the endorphins.

I was enjoying being alive. Also, the baby's first few weeks, first two, three weeks, so easy. They sleep all the time. You have to wake them up. Wake up to feed them. And I was like, this is a doddle. I can get stuff done. I can put her down two hours later, three hours later, pick her up again.

And then that all changes. You hit week, like a month in, week four, five. Yeah. And then suddenly they don't sleep anymore and they want to be up and they want to be with you and you cannot put them down. And then I understand now why you can't. Yeah. And also she had a reflux.

And then she started to get, which is reflux and all those issues. Yeah. And not for the faint-hearted. So now I'm in a different, I'm not so like, it's amazing. Now I'm like, we're coming out of it. We're coming out of the trench.

But that's why it's taken us a couple of months because, well, rightly so she's needed time and still two months after giving birth is a very quick amount of time to come back. I needed a minute. But she, but yeah. So, yeah, had a couple of months to find your stride and honestly, so proud of her. You are smashing it, babe. Thank you.

You are. I have no idea how people do two. How do twins? Twins or just two, baby. I don't know how. My sister had two under two. I don't know how. Like, we're struggling with the, like, you tag team in this tiny being.

And, yeah, it's a lot. And, um, and it's, yeah. It's like a, like a, like a timer bomb that's going on. Like, no, no, no. the Poonamis have started as well and the Poonamis have started yeah all the clichés all the cliche stuff everybody says

but she is dead cute but then she's really cute yeah she is really cute it's like a like you're like your dog they can be the most cutest amazing you love them so much and then they can be like so annoying at the same time

and then they just do something really cute like was it this morning or last night Cash was holding her and she just by herself put her thumb in her mouth and just started sucking her thumb and I was like, oh my God, that's the cutest thing I've ever seen!

Oh! Oh! I was in a little bit of it, Ellen. How could you be that? Oh, it's so cute. But yeah. Well, oh yes. This week's...

Enough about me. No, we had to. We had to. It's not enough about you. So this week's episode is actually, we thought, well, because we knew you'd have given birth, inevitably, that's what happens. We put a thing out on socials, and it was to tell people just really, really enjoyed getting involved with this one.

It was what was the strangest pregnancy side effect that you had whilst pregnant. So we had lots of women getting on board with this, and we had some amazing, amazing things come in. So let's kick it off. And some of them are really bizarre. Okay. Dear Mr. Nicker Thief, petrol. to the point where I cut up a sponge

stashed a zip bag in my car and kept trying to squirt a bit on it without looking like a petrol drug addict sniffing the back They sniffed petrol while pregnant Yeah My first, this is really common There were so many petrol heads

My first pregnancy craving was raw onions And my eyes would be streaming And the heartburn would kill me But I couldn't stop eating them But on top of it was strong mints She is asking for indigestion My parents took me away where eight months pregnant to Paris and bought 10 packs with me.

I ran out after two days and nowhere in Paris sold them and I was really fuming the whole trip. 18 years and I've never gone back to Paris. Stupid Paris doesn't sell mince. That's so. I thought he went mince as in like beef mince and I was like, oh no, they're probably probably in there. But yeah, they're really strong ones.

Petrol, mints and raw onions. Wow. Well, you didn't really have any. No, I didn't. People asked me, they were like, oh, have you got any weird food cravings? And I was like, no. You had aversions. I was like, I'm ill.

I'm sick every day, I think called hypomesis. And so you're, I was like, I'm so nauseous. Abnormally nauseous and sick, 24-7 most of the time. So I didn't eat a lot. There wasn't many foods I could eat. So I didn't go like, hmm, I have a craving for this. I was like, can I just keep like little bits of peanut butter and bread? Peanut butter and bread down and cheap bread and cheese, basically.

She's made of bread cheese and sprite. Yeah. That's what I made a baby from. Okay, dear Miss Nickertheefe, I had epic drenching night sweats. I had to sleep on a towel and change it several times a night because I didn't want to wash multiple sheets. I was craving keesh and ate it nearly every day.

But my daughter... I'm really sweating, I really want a keesh. My daughter hated eggs for the first seven years of her life. Oh. That's mental. Kish and sweat. I don't remember getting sweating. No way, yes, yes, you did.

Towards the end of it, you get, like, neck sweat when you're asleep. It's such a magical time. I'm not being sold on any of this. Dear Miss Nicker Thief, this is a really common one. Ice and so much of it. Honestly, don't know how I still have teeth. I would just crunch on cubes of ice all day, every day, and had to take a pint glass of ice cubes to bed

and finish the whole thing before I went to sleep. We ran out one night, and I didn't even have to say anything. I just looked at my husband, and he was out the door to get me some ice. I couldn't with the eye I've got really sensitive teeth I can't do cold like even cold gives me like teeth freeze brain freeze

so I couldn't be crunching on a line Do your teeth get more sensitive when you're pregnant because a lot of people get bleeding gums and stuff don't they? I got bleeding glum I got bleeding glum I got I got bleeding glum

yeah I got bleeding gums but my teeth are quite strong so they didn't they weren't affected but how was your dentist trip the other day he checked them all Is it a little good? He said a little bit of sensitive gums normal.

Brilliant, but great. But he was like, no, all good. Dear Miss Nicker Thief, my craving was pub coke. But not coke in a can or a bottle. It had to be pub coke from a pub from one of those squirty things. It has to go through the pipe. Yeah, it has to go through. It needs to be the cheapest, most disgusting syrup-based.

Syrup with a floggy water. I'd just buy one. At home, I'd buy a tank and a hose and just very excessive. Did you remember when I didn't like Pepsi and I cried? Yeah, so, yeah, Jay is like her two vices in life, Botox and Pepsi. Yeah. And that's it, you know, I mean, wild, wildlife. And both of those.

I couldn't have both of them. I couldn't have my Botox and I couldn't have my Pepsi. Your taste change and you get this thing, it's got a name. You did cry, didn't you? I did cry. There's a tip of wings where you taste something and then it tastes dead. It tasted like a dead rat. You want to sponsor as you can.

And unfortunately, the taste of Pepsi tasted disgusting and I cried. Cheers. To Pepsi back in your life. But honestly, I was crying and going, I've lost the last little bit of sparkle in my life. So funny. Now, this is really weird. My neighbour, I love these stories. is my neighbor's cousin's brother.

My neighbor lost her hearing when she was pregnant. Oh, like all of it? That's all I got. Did it come back? We don't have any context for that. No more information. That's all you're getting. Do you know what though?

Sometimes I think, like my hearing goals, like I think if you've got like high blood pressure, you know if you're like hanging your head off the side of the bed and then your hearing goes for ages. Right. No, like, if you're like bending down for too long and then all the blood rushes to your head and then you hear ringing and then you go deaf

and then you're like, oh, I can't hear from it. When you hang upside down and you're a bit like... Maybe it's like high blood pressure. Maybe she's just got constantly feeling like she's going to like pop. Do you know what? It's a theory. Pray can't, pray clamps there. I hope she got it sorted. Is she still deaf? We'll never know.

Dear Miss Nicker Thief, my craving with my foot. was chocolate fingers dipped in garlic mail. Wait. Oh, no. No. I didn't even get to do any of the fun, like, let's try pregnancy tasty stuff. I didn't get to taste any of it because all food was...

You just felt horrible, didn't you? We opened the fridge. And Vombo used to, like, bark at the fridge. And I'd be retching involuntary all the time, just go, yeah, we'd just be up the conversation and she'd just be like, anyway, sorry. Like, yeah. And she wasn't even sick.

Like, it was just like, you just kept going, my stomach was doing burpee. Like that weird cat. It was like a cat just going and blit, leit. Like I got a hot, a hair, an air, like, oh, an air, oh, a hair, oh, my God. Dear Miss Nicotine, my weirdest craving was I wanted to eat my husband. He smelled so good, I could have actually eaten him. Well, one look.

man because I bet he got some serious serious action. I depends whether she means that literally or like sexually I'm sorry but if you want to eat somebody you're going to put whatever you want on your mouth. You're going to put all pieces of him in your mouth. Slav that. Sorry darling, I've just got to cry then. It's the baby. He's like oh all right then what a what a shame. How can I help you darling? No it's it's weird it differs so differently from couple to couple, because I've met people who

had loads of sex in their pregnancy. Yeah, I reckon. And other people that have never had sex since they conceived. Conceived. Yeah, and then have never had it since they had the baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the thing. It is. It can be, and then I because it was, it was a friend of a friend,

she hit the second trimester, and they was just like, Randy, and yeah. Wow. I was too sick. Yeah. Yeah, you couldn't stand, lie down. I felt like she was sick. yeah but that's interesting imagine coming home from work

darling I'm ravenous I'm pregnant and raveless it's you know what pregnancy is like it's like one of those lucky dip bags that you used to get yeah yeah yeah you just don't know no returns no refunds no everybody gets a different bag

and you have absolutely no idea what's inside it and it could be amazing or it could be a shit sandwich and yeah there we are there's your bag there's your lucky dip bag go for it A few of my friends love being pregnant. And I just like, I mean, I, yeah, I don't know.

Who knows? It's everybody's, everybody's like, we're in the era of, like, baby making. Like, we, you kind of have a few as you're growing up. You get, like, the younger ones, like, your young friends, like, my home friends had their babies in their 20s. And, like, they've got multiple children or, you know, whatever. And then you get, like, the second wave of, like, especially I think when you're in the city in London and stuff,

people tend to have the babies older. Later. Especially in the creative industry that we're in as well. But it all happens at the friggin same time. Everyone just goes, boof. There's like a two-year window where everyone's like, pregnant. Yeah, it's catching. Everyone's going, oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Interesting. All the babies are coming. All the babies are coming. Dear Miss Nicker Thief, I couldn't touch raw meat. It made me gag. Quite the opposite of the previous one. My husband had to put whatever meat we were having for tea in the slow cooker

before we went to work. and then I would just add stuff. That's very helpful, some really helpful husbands here. I mean, my partner is Jamaican, and he loves cooking, and he loves cooking with spices and onions. He loves giving himself food poisoning. It's his favorite pasta. He just loves to be so.

He's also lactose intolerance, or sometimes I'll just throw in an ice cream as well. Off to some squid, sometimes he's squid. The amount of messages I've got where, like, caches in the world. I'm like, yeah, I gathered. Sorry. He's not well. What's he cooked now?

He's not well. But he likes to cook. He's in the kitchen. He's other in the kitchen or the bathroom. And, um... In the flower pot. In the flower pot. In the flower pot.

Not on the mic. Oh, no, I as well. That's going to come up with some burp. I'm dribbling. I've got an ulcer as well. That was so busy in my mouth. Get rid of that. Burn it off.

Woo! Anyway. But yes, he likes to cook and he... It was really difficult living with him because there would be like fish. Oh, there were the spices. And normally I love spices. I love onions.

I love taste. But I couldn't hack the... Yeah, that's hard. And what's crazy is I don't have a very good sense of smell. I really don't have a strong... My dad doesn't have any sense of smell. I have a very medium low I could smell like

Yeah apparently it gets like From the other side of the house Yeah Which the reason for that Is because they All your senses got up to 11 Hang on hang on Johannes psychology lesson

My psychological well this is a bit of a sciencey one But the reason for it is Because you need to be on hyper alert For in case you eat something that's bad So you are on hyper alert for mould And anything that's not off fish Yeah so that's why everything you can open the fridge and you be sick

and that's where you can smell something from ages away and like dog poo was just like yeah who was it that um somebody told me that the reason that their stepmother knew that they were pregnant before they did because she was like oh why have you got on oh that was it it's tasty solomon she was like oh she knew i was pregnant because like i said oh those onions are strong and like her dad's meal that came out and he was like i haven't got onions and it was from the other side of the restaurant and apparent and then stepmom was Unita pregnancy test.

You know, that was my thing. I know I had no pregnancy symptoms. You didn't for a bit, did you? I had no pregnancy symptoms. Before I got pregnant, so I didn't know I was pregnant. It was a surprise on Christmas Eve. It's a surprise. But now I've looked back, but the week before,

I was making a tuna sandwich or a tuna salad or something, and I was doing, like, tuna. And I tasted it, and I went, oh, I think that, like, and I checked the tin. I was like, is it off? And it was no, 2027. and then I got cash to try it. I was like, is this tuna okay?

And he was like, yeah, it's fine. And I was like, hmm, that's weird. And I didn't register anything. And then I got pregnant and I went, oh my God. And I didn't touch tuna for the rest of the pregnancy. Yeah, yeah, you know. But that was the only symptom that I had of being pregnant. Other than that, absolutely fine.

Nothing. Until, fast forward a few weeks later. Until we hit week five. and then I was violently, violently ill. But until then, it was just like, it was better than a period. Oh, great. I've had worse pre-period.

Yeah, and I get, like, stuff. I think I've got PMDD, although I think it's getting better, actually. The more I'm aging. Aging, healing. It's getting better now that it's, because now I'm not going. I'm not perimenipausal.

I got really backhanded, compliment the other day. So I was like, oh my goodness, you look like an older version of Michelle Kagan. I was like, she's older than me. Oh my God. Well, that's all right. But I got, oh, you look like a chubby version of Kira Knightley. So I was like, thank you. Thank you so much. We're just old and chubby. I was like, oh, thanks very much. Dear Miss Nicker Thief, oh, this is interesting.

So this woman craved ice and fruit from the freezer and the smell of coffee even though she hates it and the smell of a pub beer cellar. It seems to be a real theme here. Because then the second person here says, dear Miss Nicker Thief, it was a smell of an old basement, plaster walls, wet cement, mud, just pure mustiness.

I was so desperate to ride around the city looking for construction works, our old houses and I was really, really damn horny. That's just these like horny pregnant women looking for construction sites. Where is the mould? I really just want to stick my head in the concrete mixer.

Excuse me, is your basement suffering with black mould? Can I go down? Can I go down there? Why are you in my basement? Why is there a woman in my pub basement? Dear Miss Nick Thief, I loved the smell of steam. I would boil the kettle constantly just to smell it

and I also wanted to eat pseudacrim. Ugh. Ugh. Yeah, these are weird. I remember my sister, Catherine, said, hers was Zaflora. You know, like, it's like a disinfectant, like a really lovely, flowery disinfectant.

She would fill the sink up and put disinfectant in it so that it would just, like, waft around the house. I mean, that's not bad to do anything to do anyway. It smells good, yeah. Yeah, actually, it's probably a good cleaning tip. Yeah. Um, and now this, this is another one, um, that came up really, really common.

Um, soap. De Mistake Thief. Soap was my craving and it had to be camey soap though. And if I was going anywhere, I'd scrape my nails in it. So I had a little craving while I was out and could just have a little chew. Ooh. Um, and this is another one, soap again, but it had to be dove soap. and on a sponge

and I would suck the sponge so many people were craving sponges that is sick imagine you come home and your pregnant wife is just punched over a fucking dove off a sponge I get that I've always loved that

since I was little dove and sponges what sucking it when I used to suck a flannel when I was little yeah with like dove on it I get the flannel with the water it's a nice texture

dove is nice taste great. Oh my God, you're going to be crazy pregnant there. I'm just licking the basement. I'm just going to get you like, Mos of Dove. You'll have a bag, oh, no, I like you so much. You'll smell great, though.

Yeah, a lot of people say constipation, which I think it goes with the territory, doesn't it? Oh, yeah, I didn't poo for months. Yeah, so this one's quite up the list here. Dear Miss Nicker Thief, my reflux was so bad, I slept sitting up and ate dry oats. My constipation was so bad.

I brought my own All-Brand to a luxurious holiday result. I retained water on the soles of my feet after birth. I felt like I was walking in Nike AirMax, but barefoot. It was really weird. I might have that. Yeah, I also could not bend my left leg, so I schlepped it like hairflik-rumziked Stappo for a while. Do you just talk a different language?

I don't know what has happened there. You just started talking German or something. I know. My love I like in the Zueless. You just click the international button. Well,

like in the future a profitanzer or artists and were immersed. See, I remember my German oral. Yeah. Interesting. I love it. Oh, who doesn't?

This is really, really bad. Spongies has come up again and they'd have to Oh my God. Did you what? Demosnikov, I ate sponges, but like the ones you wash the dishes.

with, I had to have one, cut up into bite-sized pieces in my pocket for emergencies at all times. I ended up breaking the washing machine because I would forget to take the sponges out of my pockets. I fucking loved a sponge. Sometimes my mouth waters when I think about them. Sponges is a really common one. I didn't have that. No. But I do think I have, I think I have trapped fluid in my feet still. Yeah, your feet have got bigger, haven't they? My feet have grown, I'm really annoyed, but like half a size, so it's not even like a full size. you've got padded foot and pad foot pad foot and in the night when I jump up to run and get a bottle when I've been lying down I can when I stand up I can feel like water in my feet in like I'm squeated like pads of my feet and it feels like pop it with a needle I don't know what to do I'm thinking I don't know I need to get like a leg a proper leg massage yeah some like fluid flexology maybe as well because I need to fit my shoes

Dear Miss Nick Thief, I was addicted to second-hand cigarette smoke. I used to stand behind people smoking and it smelled amazing. It's okay, I'm small so they couldn't see me. Second-hand smoke is very dangerous. Yeah, it is really dangerous. But I think, again, petrol is another big one, floor cleaner. My feet grew two sizes, constantly sweaty feet. Lukazid and Skittal.

And would violently throw up at the smell of baby wipes and lemon. Do you remember that time that I got neurovirus? I do. Yep. While pregnant. Yep. I remember that. It got cold 2 o'clock in the morning. And Sophie came around 2 in the morning and bought me lucosate. Now that's a mate.

Yeah. That's a mate. That is a mate. I do say so much. I thought it was pregnancy sickness coming back like hardcore and I thought I wasn't going to stop throwing up ever. So I thought I need to go to hospital to get put on fluids. So I called Sophie to drive me to hospital. And then it turns out it was just neurovice.

Yeah. And we, like we all know, we said, we touched on this in the other episode, didn't we? When I was like, yeah, I have a metaphobia. I know, like the worst scenario. But specifically for like neurovirus, like if someone's drunk sick or whatever or just sick because they've like coughed a bit or pregnancy sick, fine. But like when it's like a bug, I will run a mile. But I didn't. I even touched her forehead to see if she was hot. But I didn't know that neurovirus absolutely fine if you're pregnant. It does not affect the baby in any way. Baby's absolutely fine. Oh, baby's pretty robust.

You can literally be vomiting your guts up and shitting yourself, and you think, that's it. There's no way the baby's still in there. And the baby's just chilling. It's fine. And they're like, no, no, no virus doesn't cross the percent. Absolutely. You're having a hell of a time. And they're just like, it's like, it's like, it's like if you get the flu or a cold,

might not you know that it's worse. But yeah, we'll finish on this one. Okay. Dear Mr. Nicker Thief, there are so many. We could do episode after episode of this. I had morning sickness when Nellie and Kelly's Dilemma Song was in the charts and was overplogr on the radio, but now I can't bear to listen to it as it makes me feel sick again and I have to turn it off immediately.

What? How does that go again? Nelline. I love you. Oh. I do. I need you. No matter what I do.

Sorry, we're making it feel sick. She's going to throw up. There's so many I could go on. Flatchelance. I mean, obviously, what came out from my back could easily not. knock out an elephant. So we'll finish on that one. So in all it all,

amazing. pregnancy is a gift. It's a gift. It's magical. It's a very unhinged time. And, but you're not alone in it. Do you know what I mean? Like the more people talk about this, and we say about this,

like sharing stories, they become part of somebody else's survival guide. And like, knowing you're not alone is like, it's such a strength, isn't it? I wouldn't, I wouldn't have. handled a pregnancy so well if I hadn't been pregnant in the time of the internet and TikTok and

Instagram and I could reach out and there was like other people making content and talking about it and going oh this is normal okay at this stage we've always done this from the beginning of time that's why there's such things as mother baby classes antenatal classes all that sort of stuff because you just need it support groups

like from the minute anything anything even with diagnosis or cancer or infertility or anything like that like there are groups because you need them. But specifically... Think of this as your group. The algorithm really helped me

because it was throwing me things. I learned so much and especially if you have something a bit niche wrong, like HG, there was a whole community's on there and I could like research things and... She's like, okay, I know this is going to finish. She's going to end and... Or like, I can try this medicine or this medicine

or maybe there's this hack or this hack and everyone and it's the same for like, I'm thinking back to like when our parents were first time parents and they didn't have anything like that they didn't have the internet no my mom had encyclopedias yeah you'd have to wait and go to the library to look up something or wait and call the doctor and like now it can be 2 a m and i can quickly google or ticot or chat u ntie support group and go oh let me try this because this woman said for this reflux i've got a little baby hack and i was like i'm actually quite glad i'm doing this now and i've got all of this resources there

amazing so yeah there you go guys just a little bit of info for you there but um okay it's time for not to sell we would but i haven't uh prepared it right well then we'll have to edit this bit out so this is i don't know why i copied it into my notes but you can take a family photo and put it into chat gbd and ask it to roast you oh and it's quite fun If you want to do that as a family, it would be a good idea for like a Christmas card and you get... That's a good idea. So I put a family photo in and chat GBT roasted me and my family.

Maybe I could insert. Is it chat GPT or chat GBT? Because you sometimes say BT. I see other people say BT and I say P-T. Chat G-B-T. I thought it was P-T. No, chat G-B-T. I thought it was chat G-P-T.

I don't know now. I could have swore it's chat G-G-P-T. A-I Oh my God we're going to have to I'm pretty sure it's chat GPT But what does this stand for?

I don't know What does B-T for? Generated Nobody knows Nobody knows Yeah Okay But

We'll get back to that This is the family It says I'll have to insert the family photo Of the visual So that you can see What we're talking about Pop

It says This family photo screams We were promised brunch, but all we got was this photo shoot, starting from the left. And this was talking about me, and I was really offended because I wasn't pregnant at the time. We've got a cool mom, rocking sunglasses indoors, holding a dog who's clearly thinking, can someone tell her we're not at Coachella? And I remember being so offended that the chat, Jimmy T, thought I was the mum.

Ah, out of the whole family? Yeah, out of the family. Next up, we've got Mr. Sirius in the jazz shirt, looking like he's been told, stand there and don't smile for 30 years straight that would be my brother who does not smile in family photos Because is that Asher? Yeah

Yeah See if I can guess them all Someone get him a coffee stat In the middle we've got The teenager who's clearly dragged away From something far more important Like updating her TikTok Because family photos are a thing apparently

Is that Katie? Yeah Yeah Then there's grandma in the sundress This is your mum Serving us I love you But why did you wake me up so early for this

vibes she's the glue holding this group together with the smile that says i know kids i know on the right we've got the cool uncle who's rocking a beach ready shirt but he secretly can't wait to get back to his crossword puzzle that's Zach oh my god how am i getting these he's here for the fun but only in spirit it was the shirt that gave it away and then um it literally uh didn't do my dad um um together you action Yeah. Next. Together you look like the cast of a quirky indie film where the plot revolves around convincing Mr. Sirius that life isn't that bad after he finally gets his brunch.

So thank you. I think that's a really fun exercise to do with your friends and submit a photo and get it to roast you. It's really funny. I'll probably get fat, Kieranightly and older Michelle Keegan if we... Oh, there we are! There are new alter egos. An elderly Michelle Keegan and rather Ron Tunned Kira Knightley. Junkie Kira and our elderly, Michelle.

Off we go. And with that, that was a little peek into my private notes. There we are. Yeah, and that was a very interesting note to self, very different. But there we go, guys. This is our first, like, little, what's that? I was going to say it's our first series, it's not. But it feels like it because we had a really big hiatus.

We had a big five-year break between this podcast. But if you like this podcast and wanted to do well, and please do share it. Yeah. Like it. Subscribe to us. Follow us on Spotify. And yeah,

because we're doing it. And it's a lot of work. And we're not getting paid. And we're doing it. We're doing it very DIY. This is Johanna's dog's crate. That's a dog crate under there. And we're balancing microphones on books.

Yeah. We could, yeah. We could do with a little bit of help and a little bit of maybe a professional studio. So fingers crossed. Oh, even if we're just here. Just, you know. Just a little bit of help.

Just make it worth it. Someone listened to it, please. Thank you. Thank you so much. But yeah, it's been an absolute blast. Really enjoyed being back into the swing of it. Obviously, we did it. Jay, we've got to give her credit.

Did it whilst feeling like crap. I look back in the edit of me. There's one where your belly's just out and you're just like, oh, my belly's just hanging out. It wasn't the best time. So yeah, I feel definitely I'm back in the game. Yeah, back in the game. Yeah. So yeah. Thank you again. I've got a bubble in my throat.

I've got it. Thank you again for listening if you've made it this far. And honestly, now, this podcast wouldn't be happening if it wasn't for you guys. So please do keep sharing your stories. Like we said, you can do it via our socials at DMS Nickertheaf on Instagram at DMS Nicktheaf on TikTok or you can pop us an email at DMSnikthief at gmail.com. And keep you right on our socials at Johanna James at it's Sophie Craig um we often post stuff um we often post often post up i put shoutouts on my Facebook as well a lot of you get involved in there so that's great so yeah just keep chatting keep listening keep oversharing um and we'll do the same we will we will and yeah remember there's never too much it might be a bit much you've been listening

to dear mr nick thief if you want to get involved then you can there are a few ways you can do it. And yeah, if you've got any stories that you want to curl up and die and the ground just swallow you whole, then we want to hear from you. We'd love to hear them. Yeah, we'll share them with everyone. We'd love to share them publicly. Sharing is caring. It is. So you can DM us at our Instagram, Dear Mr Nick Thief and a TikTok. We've got a TikTok. We've got a TikTok now. Doom Mr. Nicker Thief and we've got an email, dear Mr. Nicketheth at gmail.com. Yeah, because we're cheap and we didn't want to pay for the actual name. So it's still Gmail. Well, yeah, get in touch.

We put shoutouts on our social, so keep an eye on them on our personal socials as well at Johanna James, at it's Sophie Craig. And yeah, get involved with all your little topics and telltales. And we'll share them out. See you next time. Yeah, it's never too much. Sure.

Might be too much, maybe. Thank you.