Dear Mr Knickerthief - Taking a lava lamp out of a woman - With Chian Reynolds

Episode Date: April 30, 2020

The inspiring Chian Reynolds, actor, creative and model, joins Sophie and Jahannah for episode three of Dear Mr. Knickerthief. This week we go deep in quite a touching, honest episode. We read a diary extract written in the doctors surgery before seeing a councillor. We talk mental health, CBT, anxiety, suicidal thoughts and self help and cannabis.Follow Dear Mr. Knickerthief on Instagram to be part of the show!

You know you're a trained professional when you manage to keep a straight face while taking a lava lamp out of a woman. This podcast talks openly about mental health, sex, relationships and various other personal subjects that some people may find triggering. Now, I know what you're thinking, so I'm just going to explain a little bit. Why dear Mr Nicker Thief? So basically, long story short, when I was in year five, I went to him with my class and a guy came in the changing room and stole everybody's knickers. So I did what any responsible 10 year old girl would do And I wrote a letter address to said local pedo Printed it off and handed it out around my class

It contained some comedy gold if I do say so myself Poetic, almost Yeah Not only did Little Sophie write to the local paedophile She also wrote to herself every day in her diary And when we found it We were like, this is hilarious People have to hear this, so here we are

Hello and welcome back to another episode of dear Mr. Nick Thief, of course, you're here with me, Sophie Craig. And me, Johanna James. And our gorgeous guest this week is Cheyenne. I'm lovely Cheyenne Reynolds, who is around Don Donovan,

creative, I'd say like a philanthropist, like feminist, a public speaker, all round legend, beautiful woman, amazing mother. Yes, you're a mummy. Yeah. So we're really happy to have you here with us today. And thanks for me.

Getting involved with our knickers. Yeah. We're going to dive straight into Sophie's metastarkal knickers here. We've got a diary extract from what age are you in this diary? So this week taking us back to the 1st of December 2014. Oh, okay. So a bit more, a lot more recent than the previous diaries. Yeah.

And this is actually a little bit different. deep this week. Oh, going deep. We're going in deep. Buckle in. Buckle in. My first day of CBT, which is cognitive behavior therapy.

Behavior therapy. Yeah, okay. I've heard great things about it. Yeah. So basically, this was, long story short, I'd been feeling really anxious. You know me, Johanna. I'm an anxious.

I'm an anxious wreck. But this was the first time in my 20s where I'd kind of gone and realized that this wasn't a normal way. to feel. Anyway, so yeah, this is the first day. I don't know why I'm also writing this. You'll see, I've whacked this out in the doctor's room.

Have you not put, dear Tessa? I grew up, it seems she's gone. When she was younger, she addressed her diary personally as, Dear Tessa. It's cute. Oh, she's maturing. I know, this is weird. Okay.

Okay. I'm sat in the waiting room and there are some proper chavs, taking the piss out of a young boy with a twilight. which. Someone comes over to me and says, do you have time to fill in this survey? If you're being seen for any of these, you aren't eligible,

but looking at you, I doubt you are. That's what someone said to you? Yeah. This is obviously why I felt compelled to carry. I obviously carried this around and then just felt compelled to write in it. Oh, well.

So, yeah. Mm-hmm. But so let me just go straight. You were sitting, waiting to go into your first therapy session, and somebody who worked at the therapist's hospital place said to fill out of a, form but you probably are fine because you don't look like you need therapy.

Right, yeah. It's so bad. Oh my God, the whole point about mental health it's inside your brain. It's so crazy. How bad is that? That was like five years ago. I feel like people more like onto it now though. Yeah, I was just going to say I think that too. If you're being seen for any of these, you aren't eligible but looking at you, I doubt you are. He reels off a list.

Therapy, midwifery. Time to talk. So I stopped him and I said, yeah, time to talk. And he said, oh, you're here for council. and I've underlined the word you're yep I said and he stood up and said sorry to bother you rushed off and said you just don't look like you need it I oh god I was I remember being there like oh my god like what sorry what do I have to do to qualify me dribbling and like rolling around on the floor sorry honestly so carry on great so my first time here and it's taken me a lot to be here and already judgment has been passed I've already watched two girls pass judgment on one

poor boy, then I passed judgment on them for the way they were behaving, and then some random guy comes over and tells me, I don't look like I need counselling. What does that even mean? Surely that's exactly what's wrong with the world. No one knows anything behind closed doors. This is awkward. He sat across the room for me now. Really awkward. He keeps catching my eye. Why am I even writing in this now? This is weird. I'd rather be at home. I was going to say, this is like a play-by-play diary entry. It's like present. I've not quite read it. I've not quite read diary entry like this. Normally they're like retrospective. This is like, I'm here right now. I'm breathing. I'm writing as I breathe.

We made our contact. Yeah. This is weird. I'd rather be at home. And that's the end of it. What's amazing is that you're there writing about everybody's sitting in this waiting room. This is the thing. And he sat there looking at me and I'm eyeballing him with my byro. If only you knew. Everyone else's perspective is that there's this weird little girl just writing in her diary and the corner and looking at me and writing. Maybe on second judgment he'd have been like,

okay, no, okay, I think you need to say something like it. But that is it, very short and sweet this week, but I think it says a lot. I can't believe. That needs to be, that story needs to be put out more because there's a whole chit-chat about mental health and everything. You're right, every five years on, it's got a lot better. But there are still people out there who think,

oh, you look fine. You say that, like a year and a half ago. but I had the same thing happen again. It was a female doctor, actually. And I went in, I think it was about two years ago, just before I got married, and I get like really bad skin. I was like, oh my God, my skin is so bad. I was like, please fix me.

And she was like, okay, yeah, blah, blah, and then they asked you what medication you're on. And I was like, oh, this, this, this. And at the time I was on satelopram, which is like an anti-anxiety, any depressant. and she was writing with a pen like this and she looked up at me and she went hmm funny you don't look like you need to be on that

and I was like it's just because you're so well put together I was like yeah what do you want me to do is that here rocking she was like well you just don't present you're just not presenting to me as a very anxious person right now and I was like oh bitch I mean talk about the rock you you sway a lot she's constantly swaying

I'm standing there and it's like we're on a boat she's sway it's it's that is people like they develop the little mechanisms and little like safety things on how to process

and how to cope with anxiety and I'm trying to think of what mine is because some people like bite their nails or they chew or or hum or whatever and you sway what's mine I think you talk I probably talk

yeah yeah I think very nervous and keep talking and I won't stop talking all the above yeah it is isn't it yeah I think yeah when, yeah, you'll talk and talk and talk and talk and it'll be like, breathe, Johanah, breathe! You're quite good, though, I think you are really good.

You'll just say, oh, I feel like shit. I'm going to express it. Actually, no, Johanna shops. That's, yes, yeah, yeah, 100%. I panic shop. Oh my God, my panic shop. Yeah, that's that story. What's the craziest thing you've bought, like panic shopping?

A pair of bright yellow trousers. It was literally, this is quite said actually. Well, actually, it's really sweet because it wasn't even your thing to panic about, but she did. She just went into automatic. Like, I think we were in London. We'd just been for a meeting, and I got a phone call out, and they were saying they were stopping my dad's treatment, and it wasn't working. So it was an awful thing. Anyway, so we went into Primals.

No, I dragged you into Primac. She dragged me into Primac, and she went, right. She was crying at this point And she'd given me She just gave me this big huddle And went Right Right

You need this red skirt You need this red skirt And you need this top with a sausage dog on And I need these yellow trousers I know I just ran around in tears Just collecting these clothes Being like everything's gonna be fine

We're just gonna need some new clothes That's gonna be fine And I think that is But that's possibly become one of mine Because I could never do that before Because I never ever had Money for clothes Before I was about 20

seven. I just couldn't buy anything. And so then I started to get a wage where I could have a little expenditure for clothes and I realised that's what I do. I panicked to. You shop, don't you? I panic by clothes. It's a thing. It's a thing. Yeah, because you're momentarily or you reorganise your room. Oh yeah, I do that as well. What about you? Shadden. Is there anything

you find that you do in particular moments of stress? I literally go full meltdown mode. Like I'll be calm and then suddenly it would just be like the little thing like I'll drop my slice of toast and it'll land on the the butt side and I'll just be like, you know what? had enough and I'll flip out and I was like, I hate my life and then I was like come down and just dropped bread and I'm like no

no I have not No I have not just dropped bed last week It all comes out like in the most like Yeah it does doesn't it it is one of them things I'm a bit like that I am a bit like that Well it's different as well for girls as well Because we also get like fluctuating hormones and things And that can definitely affect

It's hard to tell what's like What's mental health, what's you and what's the hormones? Like, are they all together? Like, why am I self-done about this? And yeah, yeah, it's weird one in it. But I'm going to work on my shopping. Yeah, so you do lots and lots of mental health, don't you?

Yeah. So tell us a little bit about that. And you do stuff with your daughter, Lacey, as well, don't you? I've got a little YouTube channel. Shout out to Chan and Lacey on Instagram. I'm all for with that. So with my mental health and everything and the talks and stuff I do, It actually started from, I think I started looking at things from a perspective from my daughter and like my mother in as in like am I doing the right job by teaching her how to be so understanding with these things and these emotions because she has really bad like separation anxiety from me because we've had it quite rough like you know you've seen the B2 three thing like being homeless together and it's just always been me and her.

So then if there's any moment she's away from me she just goes into panic and it's like if I'm not there at the school run for like quarter past three like she'll freak out and then. And I'm like, oh my God. So I have to make sure, like, she's reassured and things like that. But sorry, I completely forgot. I even asked. I just go into, like, mum mode, a typical mum. And I'm like, I'm a child. I love the way you speak about her.

But, yeah, so mental health and stuff. Yeah. So how you would see it through a child's eyes. Yeah, so it's kind of think about that. And trying to teach them that, you know, like sometimes as well, I feel like in this day and age where we live and where everyone is preaching mental health, sometimes we forget that sometimes we're just having a bad day in the sense that people will even go out part in.

And then they like, you know, mental health is really bad. And it's like, no, you're just like hung over. You're on a come down. Yeah. You know, so it's trying to like just, you know, show people the differences between mental health and just having a bad day. I think that's really important. And I think that's the way the world is going to change with people like you,

parents like you. And little girls like that she's so clever. Yeah, she's emotionally intelligent. She's just beautiful. My little sister's very similar. She's very in touch with other people's emotions. And it is just like the most... It's just pure.

It makes your heart go and you're like, oh, my God. It's like you are what the world needs. Yeah. So, yeah, honestly, hats off to you. And anybody that's having open conversations with their children about mental health because I think it would have helped a lot of people in our generation.

I don't think anyone spoke to be about mental health when I was a kid. No. All my feelings. I don't, I remember looking back, I was like, I don't remember any adult asking me how I was. Yeah, no. No, it was, it wasn't a thing.

I think especially our parents, people that raised us, were people over, no, come on, sit up, sit up, you're all right, get on with it. Yeah, it was that mentality, wasn't it? And it was, I remember when I was, like, 15, I used to have really bad anxiety. About the time, it just wasn't, like, diagnosed then. Yeah.

And I actually, I used to, there was a spot behind a TIV I used to sit because, like, the way our walls were. I just would have panic, like proper panic attacks. Like, can't breathe. And they're just at the time, because where you're just, parents just dealt with it, they're like, oh, you'll be fine a minute. And I'd literally be there, 20 minutes, having a panic attack. And then sometimes we'd have to get an ambulance.

But even with then, no one thought to say, like, maybe it's anxiety. But, yeah, that was just me then dealing with it. Yeah, I don't think he was a thing. Yeah. My dad, I think he was joking, but he said it enough that I remember him saying it so much, saying, be quiet, children should be seen and not heard. Yeah. And it was like a victim.

Victorian thing. That is super old school and I was like, oh my god, that's you really horrible. Yeah, and then you just get heads to walk in the kitchen when mum's friends are like, hmm, yeah. Children should be feeling and not time. Now my old sister would be like, pour me a wine, Susan.

No, she would not drink wine. Just champagne. Just the bubbles. She's posh. Babbling wine. But yeah, I think there's going to be a whole generation of young women who are so sassied up. I even saw it. I recognised.

in watching Love Island this year. So these girls are young, they're like 20, 21, and they are already 10 times more assertive with boys and themselves than I remember being at 21 or any of my friends remember being. Like, they are already,

a guy even slightly disrespects or treats them, whatever, and they go hard on these boys and they're like, I deserve better than this, I'm here for it. And I was like, this is amazing. I was not like that. If a guy drew me like, oh, I'm sorry.

You're right, I'm awful, I'm awful. And it was, so I'm thinking like, there's, you know, there's hope. That's hope. Yeah, there is. Equally as well, I like that it's becoming more talked about as well for males. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, massively. Oh, yeah.

I think in mental health, like, I think kind of like women have always, there's always been the word hysterical, isn't there? And that has always been associated with women, hysteria, it's to do with your womb, to do with your hormones, similar to what you were saying. a second ago. But then if a male was to show any emotion, it was weird, it was wrong, like that's not what

men do. So, it's good, there's an awakening, I think, in lots of different ways, but like in the last five years literally, compared to that diary entry there, if somebody came up to you today and said that, can you imagine? Yeah. I'd have been, if I'd have been in a better head space then, and also

five years, like, later, I'd been like, oh, I'm sorry, what does it look like to you? Like, what, I would have had to have pulled them up on it? I couldn't have. sometimes mental health can look like this, sometimes it looks like this. And always check your friends that are doing well. The confident friends, isn't they?

They're the ones to keep an eye on. It doesn't take much, does it, just to send a message and just be like, hey, how are you doing? But, you know, and yeah, like you said, I think anxiety, even panic attacks can be, obviously sat behind a TV thinking you're having a heart attack. Like, you're that, oh, it can just be, you're sat at the dinner table, and they've suddenly gone very quiet,

they've gone very in on themselves, you know, they're fiddling or, you know, that it's not talking very much. That's also a panic attack. It's just because it's slightly different. I just think it's, there are so many different things and so many ways that it can present itself.

Or they bought half a prime mark, you know. I'm a size 10, so. I'm a part of prime act. Yeah, girls, can you just take our size of Darjeet. No, but yeah, I just think it's, you've just got to check in on people. Check it. And they say to double check now.

Yeah. Like Robin Williams is the perfect example. Oh my God, favorite. There we go, you know? The perfect. The perfect example. You would never look at him and think he was. Yeah.

The one who's fine. Makes everyone else happy kind of thing. Yeah, but was obviously battling some big demons. I always read between the lines though. Like a thing, whenever I see a certain post and it's like an indirect, I'm like, you're okay, I saw your post, it said this. And I'm like, I know, it's just a song lyric. I'm like, are you sure?

Because you said it for a reason. I'm the exact same. I'll send a screenshot. Like, I've done it too. Like, is this person okay? They've put this song lyric up on Twitter. My boyfriend's the worst. She has the most cryptic tweets and stories.

And I just gave up. For the first few months, I used to follow and be like, oh my God, what does this mean? Are you, okay? And now I know he's just tweeting Drake lyrics. He's fine. I'm never in the feelings. I'm the same though.

And then I'm probably quite over sensitive. Like if I read something, I'm like, what does that mean? Yeah. Oh my God. Is that about me? Are they talking about? Who's their friend? How can I fix this?

Like immediately I go into how can I fix this? Yeah, that's what I do. Like superhero syndrome. I'm like, oh my God. Let me say you. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah.

I think, yeah, we all sound that we're a little bit guilty of that. Definitely. Superhero. You're buying clothes. You're for everyone else. Okay, so shall we move on to the next section of the show? This is the Agony Aunt section. Right.

So, we do a call out on our socials every week. So if you guys would like to get involved in the Dear Miss and Nickyfeef podcast, you just have to tweet us or DM us or Instagram us. So I've been... Slide in the DM. Sliding in those DMs, please. So we had a lot of people talking about mental health. It is a big hot topic online. A lot of people want to talk about it.

This is great. I love that. Whenever we talk about this, it always come through. So I asked, yeah, how do people deal with their and control and sort of monitor their own mental health? And this guy's from Shamouche. And he says... Sorry, from where? Shamish is his name.

Oh, he's not from. He's from. It's his name, right? This is from Jessica. This is from Shamoish. Shammosh. And he said, or she, not sure, it's a picture of a mountain, says sports and social contacts.

And as well as I'm looking for a therapist because I am one myself. So I thought that was interesting. So they're a therapist who understand and recognize that they also need therapists. My auntie is a psychotherapist. She works with people that suffer with like multiple personalities.

Oh yeah. And she has to have a therapist. like therapists need therapists like imagine getting all that offloaded exactly it's like being an empath you take that all on and then you're just you strike me as an empath oh my god I take it and I'm like walking in a room

like someone's sad I'm like oh my god I'm gonna feel this I'm gonna just my levels are gonna just drop yeah yeah it's a next story just for a minute that's why I bought half prime up that time yeah I was empathing

so this guy it's from a guy called Jesse Beale and he says exercise talking and meditating are big ones for him I agree with them there's definitely like physiologically exercise does stuff it releases endorphins it releases like anti-depressive yeah it releases whatever is that causes the depressiveness yeah like exercise is the natural way for you to like you know shift it isn't it there is I was actually researching this the other day um about um um um um um

Oh gosh, what was it? Yeah, about sort of ways of making you feel good. And we have like cannabinoid receptors in our brain, which is why we act so well to weed and cannabis and things like that. And obviously cannabis oil is a new thing that's out at the moment that's helping. Very trendy. With, you know, all sorts of things, all sorts of health ailments, but also mental health as well, that anxiety and stuff.

Obviously not the THC, it's the CBD side of it. Because the THC is the psychotic bit. But we actually release these naturally into our body, and there was some research done on what activities released these kind of chemicals. It's like the dopamine, isn't it? Right, yeah, it's like dopamine. So there's like dopamine, there's endorphins. I can't remember if serotonin is a bad one or not.

That's a good one, yeah, serotonin. But it's all linked to your gut and everything, but there's another one. I can't remember the name of it. I'm going to have to try and find it out, but it's some sort of cannabinoid. And it gives you that same high naturally. but they compared it to exercise,

like a gentle walk, a spin class, and group singing, and singing came out the highest one. They all have blood tests. Get yourself to church, guys. Get yourself to choir. Seriously, quiet, practice all around. Group singing was the one that came up with the highest score. Oh, wow.

Isn't that amazing? I think it's about finding something you really enjoy, like a hobby. Do it as a group. Like find your thing, isn't it? I think so, isn't it? Might be knitting, might be crocheting. Singing and knitting.

Oh my gosh. A knitting choir. We've got it. Join the Facebook group now. I'm going to make it now. We've got a message from Jim McLean who said CBT cognitive behavioral therapy is what helped him overcome his. And I've had many friends who actually have mentioned CBT. Because the way that my therapist has described it to me, she was like, right, I can do a number of things with you and for you.

She was like, we can do CBT, which is. is like the initial helping you with the symptoms of your anxiety right now. So it's CBT. Yeah, sorry, sorry. So I had CBT, that was what I had. It's about rewiring your brain and changing that behavior pattern. So, for example, for me, one of my things I worked on with my previous therapist was my self-esteem was low, therefore they worked on my assertiveness in being able to feel like I had more power. So one of mine was saying no.

or if something was or if something had upset me telling somebody and then realizing that there are not horrific consequences to those actions it's okay to speak good truth how you feel exactly and it's so freeing

but it is about changing that behaviour pattern so that's a cognitive behaviour therapy working through different techniques that will change that behaviour and therefore rewire that so yeah it's really she was saying that it is effective that is one of the fastest effective

because it's like treating the symptoms so it's saying like you're going to rewire the way you think, the way you react to stuff. So it's going to be in the short term. The fastest thing you can do to see results really, really quickly. She was like, or there's more deeper psychological therapy. You need to get to the root of it. And that's what I didn't do.

Yeah, and that's what I did. So she was like, I'm going to give you a bit of a cocktail. She was like, so we can either, you can choose now. The pill is yours, red or blue. Do you want to do, do you want to solve the problems now and, like, get to a nice functioning level, or do you want to go right back to the deep stuff? And we actually get to the problem of why you're even. having these triggers anyway and you want to remove it from the root and I was like let's do some root canal

do it oh yeah we took nine months and it was amazingly transformed getting a varuka out honestly it was a big varuka I said I actually tried to get a varuka out of their foot because I actually I cut one out once I did used to do it he used to like give me your foot and he'd be like squeezing it and pull it no it's bad you you you are I mean or like like like trigger a lot I used to choose needles when I was younger and just pick my foot and I'm like don't do that Like needles. You know why? Because when you cut them out or dig them out.

They spread. Yeah, the roots are a lot deeper. They're deeper. It's like an octopus in your foot. So when you're pulling them out, you don't pull the whole thing out, so there's still roots and then more grow. And so basically just freeze your roots off.

And we've gone on a big tangent there. Have you ever had any sort of therapy or anything, Shaian? Let me think. You don't have to answer if you don't want. I'm trying to actually think if I did. So I know that was supposed to go. But I'm one of these people just, my mindset, I'm just like, no, I don't.

Not that I'm in denial, but I don't need it. I'm quite headstrong, though, in the sense that I feel like, right, let me just correct myself with my behaviour. And I just, I observe a lot. Self-check, yeah. So I feel like that's why I've kind of kept my silence here. I say that. But then I remember, like, three years ago, I literally wanted to kill myself. And it got to a point, I literally wanted to the doctors.

And I was like, if you do not see me now, I'm going to go in for us. I'm going to go kill myself. But it was so drastic. But it, like, my life got to a point where I just felt like, I needed someone to listen. And then I felt like, everyone was condescending. because I'd like, oh, you'll be okay. And it was like, no, no, like, I'm in a really, really bad place. You're not hearing me.

And everyone's like, no, no, no. And I was just like, I want to go kill myself. But I was just on that point, I didn't know what to do. I remember just sat there in doctor's office. And the receptionist was so lovely because I don't know, I must have looked to stay. Because her face, she just, like, had me sit behind, like, the reception desk. I was like, please, just don't move, just stay here plays. And I was like, oh, okay.

And then, like, I feel just, yeah. Was that after or before you were a mum? That was after I became a mom. So it was when I became homeless. so when I was living in the hostel and everything just went crap, like lost my job, lost everything and then the guy that was seen

he was like the only good thing in my life at the time and it turned like he was cheating in me and I was just like, it was the ice on the cake and I was like, you know what? Hate life. Sounds like the beginning of a movie. Yeah. What hats off to you for like checking

like being like this isn't normal I need to speak to somebody that is I think one of the strongest things you can do I'm so similar to you in that I'm self-aware, I can just check myself out I'll be absolutely fine It was only because I got pushed by my now husband to go then because he'd had therapy.

Yeah. And, you know, now I'm like more inclined to be like, okay, maybe I can speak to somebody or, you know, or maybe I am feeling like I can, I'm quite aware of it. And I'm like, I can start myself out. I know how to change. I'm not how to fix this. But then being able to go actually, actually, I need to help.

And you're good for that. You'll be like, God sees the one now. Isn't it mad how if you, fell off a bike and you broke your ankle and your ankle was literally on a right angle and you got blood coming out and you're there and you're going oh what can I do

oh don't worry I'll fix this I'll put it on ice it'll be fine or I just won't use that leg for a while I'll just hop around I'm like I'm fine put plaster on it yeah you're like wet paper towel in school do you remember those it's like miss miss Stephens broke its finger just go wet paper towel put that on there

it's such a weird mentality We would never, ever, ever, strangers, if we saw someone physically bleeding or the broken bone, we would get them to doctors' medical attention, we would take it seriously, it would be like a rush. If somebody's struggling with the equivalent, but with mental stress or they're feeling suicidal,

we don't have that initial need to go, right, you need to see a doctor. Yeah. Like, no stigma, doctor. Yeah. Equally, on that note, though, like if you find the strength to, you know, pick up the phone

or make an appointment or whatever or self-refer yourself, you get assessed and you go, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're really suffering. We can see you in six months and it's like, what? Six months and that's the struggle that I'm having with it at the moment. We're becoming so much more involved in mental health, so much more aware of mental health, so much more, you know, our eyes are open to it. However, we haven't got the facilities there to be able to facilitate that.

Like, I literally rang up the other day. I'm obviously going through grief and whatever. So I was like, I can feel myself going. I'm, I'm, my doctor was like, please, make a phone call. Everybody you were, what my husband was. So I was like, right, okay, I'm going to do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, great, great, great, yeah.

So six months time with that day for you? And I'm like, I, like, how is, you know, heaven forbid, somebody has rung up in and they're feeling super, super low, and they've got nowhere else to go. And then they're told that they have to wake six months. Do you know what you can do, though? because I had no idea that this was a thing until a few years ago when I had to

help section a friend in every hospital there's A&E for your body there's A&E for your head and I didn't know there's a psych A&E but it's not like advertised anywhere Oh yeah okay so anyone can walk into a hospital with a broken leg and they'll whip you through

if you walk into hospital and you say I'm seriously struggling with my mental health you can see they will get a doctor a psychotherapist to assess you there and then That's good. And then that person will then refer you. So I didn't know that was a thing and that's the tool. So if you are on the edge like you were, you can go to a doctor,

you can also go to a hospital, go to an A&E and they can, you know, they'll assess you there and then. That's really useful to know, isn't it? I think in that situation though, I find like, I don't know about me. It was just,

Joe, when you're crying out for help but you don't want to directly say it. It's kind of like, it's hard to kind of then reach out for that help. It's great that so many people are, but then it's like, but what are the people that genuinely don't know how to ask for help in that sense, that people that can't reach out for help.

It's like, okay, what do you actually do? Yeah, yeah. It's a difficult one because we're so limited and stuff, you know, with the resources that we have out there. Yeah, and I think, like you said, the mental A&E, the psych A&E is great and everything. That is amazing. However, I think you have to probably be of a certain degree of helplessness. It's the people that I worry about around that waiting list that are gradually sliding down,

you know, that that's where I think we're struggling. And even with that situation, like I have a family member that actually has like extreme like psychosis and stuff, but they're completely unaware that they've like lost the plot. Yeah. And it's been three years now and it's just an ongoing fight. Like we've got record diaries of everything they're doing. And we still can't get them sectioned because of like the human rights acts. We can't detain them against their will.

Yeah. But under the Human Rights Act, we can. But because they won't refer themselves, they won't go to A&E to get the referral. Like there's literally nothing we can do. We have to literally watch this person just deteriorate and go like insane, and run the street charn. Yeah, it's the bravest thing you can do, but unless you have a lot of money.

And people generally don't have lots of money to go, oh, well, I'll just go get it private. It's like, yeah. Where? Well, let me just pull this money out on my ass. Yeah, there you go. That definitely needs to be addressed. Like, the way that we're changing,

it needs to catch up. Online, there's lots of, like, online charities now, and Mind and Samaritans and free places to call initially. And then also a lot of therapists will do a wage income-based, because I had no money when I did therapy and she agreed to her 20 pounds for a session and I didn't have to do it every week if I couldn't afford it

so actually I can I could afford 20 pounds that was like a few coffees as well though because I feel like for people that can just spare the odd bit of money to do it kind of helps them with the resources where they are the cutbacks it can like you know love it out for sure and if you're going to spend

that money if you think about it you're going to spend that money on shoes or a watch or food or hair or drinking like It's silly, like you don't do anything to help you, you're going out booze in. Exactly. That's a night in Webberspoons. But you're, that's a very good night in Wednesday.

And a burger and chips. There are loads of really good ones as well at the moment for people that struggle to talk. There is a friend. A friend of mine that's actually using a service at the moment that is all based over text, which is they have access to 24 hours a day

and every single day the therapist will be like, Hi, how are you? And they can sit and they can chat over text message, which I've actually referred a few people to that that have come in and said, oh, hi, like you, you're right there. And that's really good. And it's a text message service. And there's a few things that do that now.

So just for anybody that's listening, it feels like maybe talking face to face isn't for you, especially initially if you're suffering. There are text services available, and there are services that are available for free. Like, there might be a little bit of a weight in this, but at least you're getting the bowl rolling, I guess, in your community.

But yeah, text services. it's a thing. Wow. I thought was really good. Right. So I've also, we've been encouraging people to sort of write in like an agony on with any funny diary entries or funny stories from their history. Now these aren't particularly due with mental health, but they are to do with health in general.

So one person who wants to remain anonymous said, that's always going to be a good one. When I was 13, a doctor wrote me an adult dose for a certain medicine based on my weight. I was a fat kid. Our body did not work that way and the medicine ended up constipating me for a month. No.

I did not poop for a whole month. I got sick. I had raccoon eyes and my stomach could jump and flutter around and I had cramps. I finally told my parents how long it had been since I'd gone to the loo and they freaked out and they took me to hospital. There they gave me three enemas back to back

and it was the third and final one that softened it up enough so I could go. I ran to the nearest bathroom, gown open and I tried to make it it to the toilet. I didn't. I got my bum to a 45 degree angle above the toilet when it just burst. It said the next part is not a lie and I know that some of you think it is, but I got poop everywhere. It was on the ceiling somehow, on the floor, the toilet, the walls, it was everywhere.

It was sprayed everywhere. Imagine being that cleaner. I know, the poor kid. I said, I felt like a new kid after that. Clean myself up, best I could. It walks up fine. you might want to give it 10 minutes in there was no way I could clean it up

so I walked out and politely told a nurse the bathroom needed a clean up I'd say for you I'd even like gosh someone before me was not well I'd like to complain about the stay of the toilet the janitor was only a few doors down for some reason and I saw him go in he did not know that it was me he never returned

no seriously he got to the bathroom and the whole ER heard oh hell no So I ain't cleaning this up. I quit. Come on that came in. Another one was someone who works in A&E. This person says, you know you're a trained professional

when you manage to keep a straight face while taking a lava lamp out of a woman. Oh, what? I mean, that's hilarious. That's a good Saturday night, isn't it? That's banging. A lava lamp. If you guys have got any more stories

that you think could top that or make us laugh, then please send them in. so that we can bless everybody's ears with them. With them because they are, they're freaking hilarious. Oh, thank you so much for joining us today. Oh, thank you, everything. Yeah. If they want to find you.

Tell them to check out. Tell them about everything you've been doing lately as well. Yeah, so check me out, find me on my socials, which is Shyam Reynolds, C-H-I-A-N. My mum's spoke it wrong, so that's why I spell that way. I love it. I like it. I like it.

And you can find me on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter. I am a bit of like a tweet, like, clapback coin, so if you tweet me, like, I'll come back at, Yeah, I'm one of them. I love following social. She's active. Like, she's great. If you come at her, she will put you in your police.

I love that. And a little bit, tell me a little bit about what you've been up to you as well recently. Yeah, so I recently filmed with BBC Free. It was a documentary on, like, my take on feminism, why it's important for me raising a young daughter. I've tried to think what else I've been at a convention. And I feel I'm so excited, but I can't, we've ever let you yet, but it's really funny.

It's just me and my dating life, and I'm just awful at dating. Anyone knows me, knows that I have, like, a DM full of, like, messages, but I'm just so rude. But, like, not intentionally. I just get anxiety, like, in the sense that I replied to one, and I think, oh, my God, no, I do reply to that one. And I think, I don't even want to date them.

And now I'm just, like, digging myself a hole with them, and they're putting a little thing. Oh. You're an empath, you see. Or when you see them out, and then they're just, like, set out at a date, and you're like, oh. Yeah. Okay, bye.

Oh, okay, well, that sounds absolutely blue. We'll be sure to look out. that but it's been an absolute pleasure having you in thank you so much for coming all away honestly and that is it for this week guys we will see you all again next week peace out peace out don't forget guys you can follow us on social media you can hit us up at it's james and craig on all the usual places twitter facebook instagram all that jazz i'm also on the gram i'm at johanna james and i'm also on the gram um oh i'm also on the gram by the way johanna james We're all on the gram.

And it's at James and Craig and it's at Sophie. It's Sophie Gregan. It's that Johanna James. Oh, we've caught this right up. If you've been affected by any of these issues raised in today's episode or a seeking professional help, there are lots of amazing people out there to help. We recommend Mind. You can reach out to them at www.mind.org.

This podcast is part of Podomity. The UK's podcast Comedy Network. Why not laugh? what else we've got. Visit pedumity.com.