Dear Mr Knickerthief - The price of fame. P.S. Don't drink bleach - With Will Richards

Episode Date: February 7, 2021

Welcome back to a mini third series of Dear Mr. Knickerthief. This time Sophie and Jahannah are joined by radio DJ Will Richards as we open the diary and delve into 10 year-old Sophie's hilarious 'crazy life of fame' as her and her bandmates become the talk of the school, because obviously they were a really super famous girl band called The Crazy Kids. No autographs please!Follow Dear Mr. Knickerthief on Instagram to be part of the show!

So the first, our top hit was called Love Me Baby. Why would a child call a song that? What is going on? It goes, it goes, it goes, it goes. Love me baby because I love you. Love me baby and I hope you do. Love me, love me. What do you think of that? That's one of the first.

Why are you from Texas? This podcast talks openly about mental health, sex, relationships and various other personal subjects that some people may find triggering. Now, I know what you're thinking, so I'm just going to explain a little bit, why dear Mr Nicker Thief? So basically, long story short, when I was in year five, I went to him with my class, and a guy came in the changing room and stole everybody's knickers. So I did what any responsible 10-year-old girl would do, and I wrote a letter, address to said local Pido, printed it off, and handed it out around my class.

It contains some comedy gold, if I do say so myself. Poetic, almost. Yeah. Not only did Little Sophie write to the local paedophile. She also wrote to herself every day in her diary. And when we found it, we were like, this is hilarious. People have to hear this. Oh, here we are.

Hello, everyone, and welcome back to another episode of dear Miss Nicker Thief. I'm Sophie. I'm Johanna. Nope. We always managed to screw up the first and the second. I was like, is she going to introduce herself? Hang on, let's try that again. Hi everyone, welcome back to dear Miss Nicker Thief the podcast.

I'm Sophie Craig. I'm Johanna James. And today we're joined by our lovely radio, DJ and presenter, Will Richie and Richard. That's the biggest welcome I've ever had in my life. I was expected a drum roll as well in that part. Thank you. I should have done it. Oh, sorry. I'll put that in late. Post it. Post it. How is everyone, all right?

Well, great. Thanks. How are you? I'm okay. I'm very good, in fact, because positive mental attitude. PMA. That's what it's all about. Pretend you're happy. No. Make it till you're making. Yeah. No, I'm actually okay. I'm actually okay. I'm excited because I've heard your podcasts and now I'm on it. right now I'm on it. In the hot seat. Here's something.

We'll go straight into it. I had the worst Christmas ever. Thanks for asking. Honestly, honestly, it was terrible. I'll tell you for why. Do you want to know why? I'll tell you why. Yes, go on.

It's because, I'll explain. It's because I got ill, not COVID. I had three tests. It wasn't COVID. I got so ill from about three or four days before Christmas until about four or five days after Christmas. I didn't have Christmas dinner. I lost like a stone and a half plus side.

That's good. Not in a healthy way. But yeah, I just, it was the worst Christmas ever, but I'm okay with it because it was pretty bad for most people, I think. What was it? What did it? What did you? Yeah, influenza, aka man flu, I believe. Man flu.

Big boy flu. Adult flu. I've not had flu, proper flu, for, I'm going to say 15 years, that's not a stretch. Since you were 20. Since I was 29. There was no need for that with it. Find your manner. Unbelievable.

I just haven't had it. I used to clean my microwave. I found out retrospectively with bathroom bleach. Now she's radioactive. The spray I was using. And I would clean my microwave and every day I would micro. So I don't like tea and coffee. And so I have hot ribina, like a hot squash.

And I'd warm it up in the microwave. And sometimes my food and my drink would have a slight tinge and a slight, Oh, so you're saying this benefits you? I think that's why it's not the flu. I think me sort of having a tiny, tiny dose of bleach for a year or so. I don't know. That's all I can come up with.

I do not recommend anybody does do that. No, I think it's a good idea. I think it's a good idea. Don't ingest bleach. Don't ingest bleach. Debating whether or not to keep that in. Oh my goodness. Definitely do not.

So one, this is me trying to add all in my early 20s. I cleaned my microwave with bleach and I also washed my clothes with only conditioner for like five years. I wasn't using detergent. Not knowingly. Not knowingly. I thought, oh, why does this smell's nice, isn't it? And I actually read it one day and it was fabric softener. I was like, oh.

I've been there and it was embarrassing for me on myself because I'm thinking, you know, yeah, freshest gams in the game, no worries about it. where it once chuck it in the bin, not a problem. But it's all because I was using purely linole. And I wasn't, all other brands are available. I wasn't using the sudsy bit. I was just using the soft and smooth bit. I was honestly strokeable, but not clean.

Yeah, just a dirty, soft person. And there's nothing worse to be in strokable and not clean. I think you know. Okay, guys. I am at an absolute loss, guys. See you later. How much do you need? There might not be a lot you can use.

No, right. So today, Sophie, where are we going? We're going to go back in time. Oh, these hills of Sophie's diary. We are. We're diving back in to primary school. Back to the primary school. Back to the primary.

The golden days. I love primary school. Oh, my God. I loved primary school. It's just brilliant. No worries. Yeah, no. Like, and your biggest responsibility was your goldfish or your hamster.

Do you know what I mean? I killed. them both. Not intentionally. That kind of wrong. That can I really wrong, Will. Yeah, I killed them both. I didn't, I didn't mean it like that. That reminds you something I want to bring up with, you girls, right? Go on. I know that you go over this in the, in the start, in your intro to the podcast. But how did somebody get away with stealing children's underwear from a swimming pool? What on earth happened? And how did that go down? And why is that man not in prison? He might well be, well, he might well be.

Do you know him? No, no, God, no. Basically, you know, when you like just go swimming, when you're like a kid, you have your swimming lessons with your school. So, yeah, we all just went down at the swimming baths, all got changed in the changing rooms, went for a swim, got out and all of our underwear had been stolen. That's messed up.

See, if that happened now, I'm obviously... Oh, my God, it'd be... It just shows how much times have changed. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. But they'd be uproar in the streets. Whereas then the parents just went, oh, Christ, now I've got to buy new underwear for the kids. Yeah, exactly. And do you know what I was gutted about as well?

Maybe knickers? I can't remember my knickers, but I remember going there and being like, oh, okay, we've got to be careful, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I went in my new blue jacket and that got stolen from there as well. Oh, so it wasn't just underwear? No, this was another time. I think people were just like, yeah, yeah, it just, it was rife. It was rife. Rife with thieves and paedophiles. Oh, my goodness. And on that no, shall.

we begin? Yes, we probably should go into this. This is called the time we were famous. That's the name of my diary, by the way. You'll have to explain that, but okay. Today was amazing. Our band is now becoming famous. Oh my God. I feel like I should explain a bit of a backstory to this before. Who is your band? The band is called The Crazy Kids, okay? Oh, wow.

Yeah. Crazy kids. Crazy kids. And like, what are you, kind of, gothpunk emo? Are you electrical pop? Pop. Yeah. Hovely inspired.

She was 10. Heavily inspired by the Spice Girls, I feel. Yeah. The Crazy Kids. And we all had names for the band. I can't remember what mine was. I'll have to get back to you on that but I do talk about it later

Crazy spice No it might have been like crazy My might might might be like crazy Because I was your role within the band What were you? I was the founder Yep I was the lyricist The songwriter

Yeah Are you the lead singer No we kind of all Kind of all pitched in equally there But you're sure Okay You can actually sing Sophie So thank you

That's very kind No, I didn't say well. Hold your horses. No, so you can actually sing so. Can you give us a verse of one of the crazy kids' songs? I actually remember two. Go for it. No way.

I do. I remember two of them. The top hit. So the first, a top hit was called Love Me Baby. Why would a child call a song that? What is going on? It goes, it goes, it goes, love me baby because I love you. Love me baby and I hope you do.

Love me. Love me. What do you think of that? That's one of the first. Why are you from Texas? What happened there? Anyway, Simon Cowell might have something to say. Wow. I mean, we were famous. Hang on a minute, guys. So basically what happened was one afternoon we were in the playground and we decided, right, enough's enough. We're creating a band. This is it. were the crazy kids and that was it over lunchtime. And I decided that the next, obviously, best step to do after we made up a song in the playground, over first sort of like our first break time,

the next natural step to do was obviously to get some PR. So I wrote... Well, before you did any of the writing, rehearsals, performance, let's PR this idea. Straight out of the back, right? So the next natural step, of course, was PR, being the entrepreneur that I am, I decided that I would write a letter

to my local newspaper and say hi. Good start. Yeah, hi, my name is Sophie. I'm in a band. We're called The Crazy Kids. And we'd like to be in the paper, basically. I wish I could find that letter.

I'm going to have to be like, can you find this letter? Anyways, always a letter with you, Sophie. I'm a writer. I just love that. Normally, like, when something happens in England, we're like, you know, let's make a cup of tea. Sophie's like, I'm going to write a letter. Anything that happens.

I'm going to put a spanner in the works. Oh. I hate tea. Oh, I hate tea. Yeah, we don't like tea either. We're not tea tinker. I like a herbal tea, but not a normal cup. Black, strong espresso.

I'm yours. No, no, I'm not a coffee either. I hate tea and coffee. Yeah. That's why I had bleach in the microwave. Have a hot bleach is all yours A hot bleach Yeah

Nice warm dettle The brains are available Please do not drink bleach Anyway I am So I sent this letter off in the post With a second class stamp And sure enough

I got a phone call From the evening mail And they said Look thank you We received your letter They must have absolutely Pissed themselves When they got this letter

like in the thing. But they humoured it and they rang the house and they said, oh my God. Yeah, of course we'll come down and we'll take a picture. So I was like, oh my God, went into school the next day and was like, a picture. I was like, guys, guys, this is a pretty big deal. We've got the newspapers coming around tonight.

They're coming to take a picture in the back garden. So of course, we had about four more recruits for the crazy kids at that point when they realized that they were good famous. So yeah, the band got pretty big. And they all came round. We stood in my back garden in our best Sunday clothes and held a guitar that was far too big for us

and we'd never played a guitar in our life and took a picture. We sang a little bit of Love Me Baby for them on my patio and they left. I've just got this brilliant image in my head of you, a few others and the cast of basically Tracy Beaker in your back garden with a giant guitar thinking yourself, fucking hell, I've made it. You wouldn't believe it, would you?

Oh, I need to show you this picture. I will. I'll find this picture. It exists. I've still got a picture. Oh, I've got the picture. Oh, why have I not got it now? Where is it? Oh, it is absolutely brilliant.

I'll find it for you. I will. I'll send it over to you guys. I'll make sure we'll pop it on our socials as well. So yeah, that was... I'll put it on mine as well. Yeah. Fuck it.

So that is... That's a bit of the backstory of the crazy kids. So we'll carry on. Wow. Our band is now becoming famous. All the did the ladies printed out our picture from the evening mail and posted it around the dinner hall. Mrs. McCoy even asked for our autographs.

She was the dinner lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretty big. She was an instigator. Who was this woman? Yeah, I know. Bless us, we were like lining up to go and get a, like, a mash. Oh, no, actually.

What was it? Yeah, probably mash and probably like turkey dinosaurs and stuff. Oh, turkey chislers before Jamie Oliver ruined them and took all the sugar out of them or whatever it was. It doesn't matter. Get back to it. Get back to it. The crack.

A little mashed turkey dinosaurs. and Semolina. Turkey crack dinosaurs. Yeah, not fair. Anyway, yeah, so Mrs. McCoy had put up all these pictures around the Dalyland Hall and we were like, God,

just stood next to the pictures as we were lining up with, God, guys, stop a good, stop on. Anyway, we made up a new song in the playground today. I came up with it last night in bed, a man was in the bath. So I went in and asked her for a pen and paper

so I could write it down so I wouldn't forget. Oh, sorry, you said my mum was in the bath. Yeah, my mom was in the bath. I thought you said a man was in the bath. Yeah, me too. Oh, sorry, because you said my ma'am and it sounded like there was a man. Northern.

I forget sometimes, I'm talking to Sophia and I'm lost like, why was a man in the bath and why have you walked in there randomly? Oh, no, it was her mother. Makes sense. There's no worry. I don't know why I went to the bath to ask her for pen and paper when it's clearly not in the buffroom. Bless her heart. There was a man in the bath and he had all of my underwear. And my blue boat.

He's wearing it. He squeezed right into it. Make him weird. images. Anyway, I went in to ask her for a pen and paper so I could write it down so I wouldn't forget. It's called Rock and Roll Baby. Wow.

Lots of babies. A lot of babies. You're right. Okay. I actually realise now, thinking about it, that this was different lyrics but put to the tune of a very famous song that I didn't realize. I didn't realize. Oh, behave yourself.

Of course you did. You only knew four songs. of those Kentucky Fried Chicken song. It went like this. Rock and roll, baby. Rock and roll baby. Rock and roll to the bottom of your soul. Rock and roll, baby.

I've not got the tune. So, if he... What was it? What was the original song that was trying to be? I think it's something from Greece. What's the... What is going on? You keep saying, baby.

It's getting weird. I know. The album, you should have been called the Crazy Baby. Babies. Yeah. That would have been actually that me and my best friend made up called I know. And it was like, I know that you know that I know I love you. I was like, yeah.

I'm pretty sure. Cheryl, Tweedie, Cheryl Cole, Cheryl. One of them. Yeah. Did a song about that. She must have heard it. She must have, yeah, nicked it from you up there. Yeah.

I need to like look into the IP of that and stuff. Absolutely. There could be a gold mine of money. Absolutely. You heard it here first, guys. You heard it here first. I mean, I know that you know that I know. I love you. See?

See? Sticks in your head, doesn't it, Johanna? Yeah, it's very catchy actually. Very, very catchy. Oh my goodness. Anyway, our first, so yeah, it's called rock and roll baby. Love Me Baby was our first hit song, which you have all heard now. The only annoying thing is Claire quit the band today. Oh, damn it.

Yep. Yeah. Why? She was on the cusp of fame. Well, maybe she knew that if you're the first to quit the band and go solo, you're more likely to be successful. So she was just going to break off. Yeah.

Yeah. She was for Jerry Hallow. Oh, amazing. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. I mean, listen to this. Steph said she wanted to be in the band instead. So I cut out Claire's face in the photo of our fridge and drew a picture of Steph.

You drew it? Oh, my big. There wasn't Photoshop back then, Will. We had to think literally. Why didn't you just use another photo of her? Because I didn't have time. I went home. A lot of changed between lunchtime and getting home for my tea, yeah?

And Claire had quit the band. It was too late. The photo had already gone to print. Everybody had been flashed around the school. My mum had put it on the fridge. And I thought, Claire's there. And she just quit. So I cut her face out, drew a nice picture of Steph.

And I put her face on it behind it. Solved, Dan. entrepreneur that's me head of PR that's what they call me um step said she wanted to be in the band so i cut out claire's face in the photo on our fridge and drew a picture of step she likes sport and is the best out in our class so her new name is striker wow yeah yeah made sense i was in the wrong school obviously i'm a lot younger than you so i might not have even been alive when you in primary

school but i would if i was of the same age as you i would have been in the wrong school i would would love to have been with Steph and Claire. I would have cracked Claire one, leaving the band like that. Unbelievable. Left us in the Lurcher. Striker. I mean, that is a very intense nickname for a team. It's a good, no, so we had names for like the bands. You know you had like posh, scary spies,

yeah. What was yours? That's what I mean. I can't remember. I definitely know hers as a striker. I remember having that revolution lying in the bath thinking, hmm, that night being like, hmm, what could Steph's name be for the band? And I was like, of course, striker.

A lot of. this stuff is in a bath, isn't it? I've noticed that. Yeah. Whether it's swimming balls or a domestic bath. I do some of my best thinking in the bath. It's an aquatic theme in all life. We'll leave that there.

And then I sign it off with, well, take care, Sophie. And that is the end of that diary entry and the start of the crazy kids. And the end, to be fair. Oh, really? Start in the end. Wait, I thought we were going to build into a career.

It was over as quickly as it started, Will. Once we got, well, the thing is, the highlight, the peak of the crazy kids was getting our photo in the evening mail. And then after that, the song writing very quickly dwindled and we were never to be heard of again. But you also claim that on. Go on. I'm just thinking about that, about the newspaper. Either there must be really not a lot going on in the paper department. also out of what's happening right now in the world you've got a paedophile breaks into a swimming pool

and steals all the little girls underwear that doesn't even break a headline anywhere and yet they're like oh but there's a band of these kids write to them bless them when i remember when i last went home maybe a year or two ago and you know like you get the little um what like the little like the signs outside of like news agents where it's like the headlines and stuff the headlines and stuff the for the paper that day was Stop feeding our horses was on one side and the other side said

free Greg sausage roll with today's evening mail and they were the headlines so you can imagine that's just the north in a headline isn't it? Yeah. That's literally, that is you've just epitomised

the entire north in one headline and I can, well number one I'd really fancy sausage bean and cheese melt now. Oh, stop feeding our horses. Stop feeding our horses and then the other one was free sausage roll with a day's evening mail. And I bet you the one the next day said, stop feeding our asses, sausage rolls.

It's upsetting because I was going to do that joke as well. Oh, sorry, Will. I'm too slow for Mark. Will, have you ever been in the papers? Have you ever been famous? What's the most famous thing you've ever done, Will? I don't know. Probably your radio short.

that you host every morning, crown on breakfast and some radio where sleeps, everybody? Radio Chelmsford, sorry. Radio Chelmsford, quite, no, everyone does that. Thanks for the plug for a different radio station,

I appreciate it. What's the, I don't, I don't think, I don't think of having been in the newspaper. I have, but not just for me, you know? Did you not write to the local newspaper? No. People didn't do that in the South. That's why I am a PR genius.

I don't think of ever been in the newspaper. I've been, because there's like some of the stuff we do online and whatever, I've been, I've had some weird recognising moments that I've had some very strange ones of those. Have you? Well, people recognise you? Yeah. So what happens? What's the weirdest one?

So I'm, we are like, you know, we're all online. People see our faces more often than the average person. That's the best way to explain it. I hate the term famous. I don't think I'm at that point. What I'm saying is I'm, um, click, Kevin Hart does a brilliant sketch on it. It's called Click Famous. When you see someone and you go, oh, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. So I think that's the highest point I've ever got, really. And the worst thing is, I found out in my later adult years, I look a little bit like Lee Ryan from Blue. Yes, you do. Gosh, yes. So I've several times on a night out locally, people have gone, are you Lee Ryan?

Because they'll look at you. they'll go, I know that face. I've seen that guy before. And then someone goes, oh, he looks like Lee Ryan. And they're like, holy shit. Are you Lee Ryan from Blue? I'm, I mean, offended because the geez is like late 40s. Please say you said yes at some point.

That would be so funny. Just go, yes, I never have done. Just say yes. And then just let them think it the whole night and see how your night pans out. I don't think I'll get away with it anymore. My hashtag is Chubby Lee Ryan. That's what I, every poster. hashtag chubby Lee Ryan.

I run with it myself. I entertain myself with it. I've just realised the most embarrassing time I ever got it I've ever got recognised. And Sophie, you were there, Sophie. What, why? Tell me, do you remember? I will, I went for a colposcopy.

Oh my God! This is the best story ever! Wait, what? A colposcopy is where if you get a vasmea test and then your results come back abnormal, you go for a slightly more A deeper delve. Deeper delve.

Yeah. A camera of your vagina. A bit more invasive. I'm just going to interrupt and say, if you haven't had one recently, it's very important to do so. And I'm a bloke. So there you go.

Go get them done. So important. If Will's done it, you can. Right. Just in case, Will. Just in case. So, yeah, I had a dodgy smear

and I got invited to go and have a biopsy. And I asked Sophie to come with me. And we went to the hospital. This was all like pre-COVID stuff. And, so you have to go into the little room and you have to take off your knickers so if you were watching it wouldn't get stolen

and then you put your legs up and there's a doctor and a nurse in the room and then they put a camera right up your foe and you can see on a huge TV in the room you can see your cervix blown up by like a thousand and it's like a little donut it does it looks quite helpful and um big camera normal size camera

I'm concerned it's a tiny little camera microscopic little camera but they have to have So, yeah, they have to like put your legs in stirrups and then they put you the little, um, and it kind of like opens you up. There's speculum. Speculum, that's the one.

I thought they were called forceps. No, that's to pull out a baby. Yeah, that's to grab a baby and pull it out. They look like barbecue tongs. Yeah, yeah, I've got them. Not for a put like barbecue. Yeah, it doesn't look like that. But, so what happened was, um, we, we put the camera up there and, um, we saw on the giant

screen. Well, I mean, it was a team effort. She was there. She didn't do, right? Everyone was there. Everyone was helping. And upon the screen came my cervix. And then right there, in the middle of my cervix, sitting there, was a pubic hair.

But what was really awkward was it wasn't mine. It was a little curly black Afro-Caribbean hair, which is the hair that my girlfriend has. Yes. There was his hair just sitting there right there in the middle of cervix. And everyone was like, oh. And I went bright red. And the doctor was like, it's okay. we'll just wash that away and was like trying to wash it away.

And that's when the nurse went, do you make videos? And I was like, oh, I've seen your videos. And she's like, oh, I must tell my husband, I met you. And then she added, don't worry, I won't say where. Oh, my goodness. Right, guys, it's the time of the show where we open the floor to you. Oh, I'm excited for this one. We've had some goodness.

So we did a shout out to say, so Sophie Mastuk, the fact that she was in the paper for the fact that she was famous. So we asked people, what other things did you believe when you were younger that you, when you grow up, you realised, oh no, wait, that wasn't really real, was it? So we've had a couple of ones in here. Okay, things that you believe when you were younger, that you don't believe now.

So this is from Miller Buffer, Miller B, I think, says that if I touched any buttons in the car, the car would crash even when it wasn't running. Oh, that's the parents influence. Yeah. Oh, the car wants that. Don't you dare. Until your seat belts on, yeah.

Touch anything. It's like the old one illegal to have the lighting when you're driving. Yes. I thought that as well. Yeah, I did until like only a few years ago. And I was like, why? You got these two gigantic lamps in front of you pointing forward and all of a sudden it's illegal to have one.

It's just how stupid we are as kids, isn't it? Don't turn that one on? You get arrested. So, um, Omar Swari, 86 says, he believed that the announcer or the presenter on the TV was watching him personally, like, really looking at him, which I get because the presenters are talking to you, the audience, but he was just thinking it absolutely personally and being like, right, just, he's chatting with me.

That's insanely weird. Yeah, but it does make sense. It makes sense as a kid. You're like, they're talking to me. Shh, they're talking to me. Hold on. Like, I thought the police were everywhere, always watching. So the kid must have.

I thought he had a camera on his TV. Omar, we need to do a welfare checking, mate, because I'm concerned. If that was the weirdest thing, what are the normal things he thinks? Well, this one's even weirder, not going to lie. Mrs. Andrea Rose says, I thought that when I was thinking that the voice in my mind was the angels speaking to me. You know, you can hear your own thought. You can hear yourself talking back to yourself.

Like, you can hear words. Can you hear that? I can definitely hear. Yeah, I've got a serious talent. Go on. I can hear my, the voice in my head is obviously your own voice, yeah? It's everyone's own voice. I can change the voice.

No way. I can, I promise you, literally, if you, I can do it in Sophie's accent, in your accent. I can do it in anyone's in my head. So I can have you talking to me saying, well, I want you to say, that sounded weird, but I don't mean a lot of that. I can, I can change the voice in my head to anyone. That makes my brain hurt. I'm just trying to think now, though, it does the voice in my head have an accent?

Yeah, your accent, yeah I don't know if it does So if you write If I'm just gonna, I'm gonna say four words Right Right Go on And then all you need to do

Both of you is just say it in my voice You've just heard it in your head And then you'll stuck The talent will be created You ready? Okay, go on, go on Hi, how are you? No, that's my accent, it is

No way I've got such a unique talent There's no way I've even proven it We'll just have to take your word I'm trying to go on Britain's got talent with that, be like, right, in my head, I can hear different voices. They'll be like, right, mate, would you like to go to hospital?

Help me, please. Right. A couple more here. Zoe Brown says, I believed I could fly like Pete's pants. So I jumped off the top bunk of my bed and it hurt. Yep, therefore done that. And off the wall with an umbrella thinking I was Mary Poppins. Oh, yeah, trying to do.

My mom did that when she was younger in the 60s. saw it at the movies, went home with her friend, jumped out the first floor window with an umbrella, broke her leg. What is going on? I'm so confused. But that's how influential TV and movies are. Are you not parents not around to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, don't be silly. Probably not in the 60s. Yeah, everyone was just left in the random eyes. They were down the pub getting drunk. Wait, hang on, who was, none of you two were around in the 60s. No, this was my mother. Jehanna may have been.

Yeah, but. Unbelievable. Late 70s at a push. No, but so you just said, you just said you jumped off your bunk bed and hit a wall with an umbrella thinking you're Mary Poppins. Yeah, I used to jump off a bunk bed thinking we could try and fly. And then, yeah, I used to jump off my garden wall with an umbrella thinking I could fly. But my garden wall was only about four, five foot high. I used to believe something crazy when I was, I'm just going to be honest with you.

Until about 10 years ago. Santa. No, no. I've never said this publicly. It's the scoop. I used to think that there was three pipes from the throat. One was for food, one was for drinking, one was for breathing. I thought that your lungs were different stomachs.

One was for food, like your dinner, and one was for dessert. Oh, amazing. That makes sense. That's because of the old wife's tale. Oh, you've always got really? for dessert, isn't it? That's how it's come there. Yeah, because it goes to your pudding tummy. It is quite clever, isn't it, that like one, two fills all three of those things. That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard you say, Johanna. You're pudding to me.

I've really gotten empty pudding to me. I can have some more, please, mommy. The kids, right? And I'm talking the younger generation now. Bear in mind, we, us three, are in the golden generation. We are the best, age group ever. We've got respect and values of the older generations with the modern day techniques. Yeah, we had this discussion, didn't we will. We're the last generation where we can cross over analog and digital. The new ones can't and the old ones can't do the new. Yeah. So the new ones, all they have against for some reason always, including ourselves, when you're younger, you have some vendetta against older generations. You hate being called young when you're 16,

but don't want to be called old William 25 you know it's weird anyway the only thing they have is technology to try and use against us but we are the instigators yeah we're the ones yeah we're the ones that started this shit you know we're the vine generation we're the facebook my space bebo generation don't fuck with us but you're right you are we are right in the sense of we are the only generation that can bridge the two because the younger generation sophie they wouldn't even know what writing into a local newspaper is. To be honest, I can't remember the last time I actually saw a physical newspaper. And that's why I'm the queen of PR.

Thank you so much, Will. Where can everybody find you if they want to find you? Well, I mean, ideally, just virtually. Just around Chelmsford, apparently. It's at Will Richards on Instagram, with two S's at the end. That's where I am. But yeah, I think most people will learn. Will Richards.

And also plug your radio show for us too. Yeah, I do a breakfast show, weekdays, Monday, 6am till 10 a.m. On Radio Chumsford, you can listen by downloading the app. There you go. There you go. You say that a lot, don't you? That was beautiful. Yeah, everything's tuned in now, which is horrible because you can tell when I haven't tuned something in.

Thank you both as well. You're amazing and I absolutely love this. And I hope one day we can do it again. Yeah, absolutely. Thanks so much, well. I love you. Have a good day, guys. Yeah, have a fantastic day. Stay safe, everyone, and keep positive because, you know, it's going to be a good day.

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