Dear Mr Knickerthief - Where it all began... Pole dancing - With Freddie Bentley

Episode Date: May 7, 2020

For episode four of Dear Mr. Knickerthief, Sophie and Jahannah are joined by Freddie Bentley, reality TV star and social media influencer. We go back to one of Sophie’s first EVER diary entires at the age of just 11, we chat about school, social media, self assertion, bullying and killing baby birds, obviously.Follow Dear Mr. Knickerthief on Instagram to be part of the show!

Oh my God. Is it even? I can't even read the sex. Go on, say it. Say it. After this was Maypole dancing. This podcast talks openly about mental health, sex, relationships and various other personal subjects that some people may find triggering.

Now, I know what you're thinking, so I'm just going to explain a little bit. Why dear Mr Nick a thief? So basically, long story short, when I was in year five, I went to him with my class, and a guy came in the changing room and stole everybody's knickers. So I did what any responsible 10-year-old girl would do, and I wrote a letter, addressed to said local pedo, printed it off and handed it out around my class. It contained some comedy gold, if I do say so myself.

Poetic, almost. Yeah. Not only did Little Sophie write to the local pedophile. She also wrote to herself every day in her diary, and when we found it, we were like, this is hilarious. People have to hear this. Oh, here we are. Welcome back to dear Mr. Nickerthy.

And we are joined in the studio today by... Freddy! Yay! How are we? I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for coming in. I'm so excited to have you. I'm nervous. I don't know what's going to be written in this diary.

Oh, it's... It's juicy. From what I've seen, from the peak that I've been allowed, this is... Sophie wrote this diary for years from when she was a little girl, from when she was a young woman. And it's amazing. And I think it needs some airtime.

Well, this week, guys, we're delving straight in to when I was about 10 years old. Oh, right. Okay, so this is a little bit, this is a little bit, we've not been this young before. No. Oh, I don't remember being 10. I don't either.

No, I knew I was confused. Yeah, I was always in snow white dresses. Was she your favourite Disney princess? Yeah, I didn't really get along with Cinderella. I could never get down with cinders. All that cleaning. Yeah, weren't a bit of me. Nah, she was a bit of a pushover.

Yeah. I'm not a push over. Not push over me. Absolutely not. And Snow White was surrounded by seven men. That makes sense why you like Snow White. Yes. Oh my God. It all's come for it.

That's hilarious. That is why. Oh my God, I forgot. Nothing wrong with that face. Right. So 10 year old Sophie. So this extract of the diary starts. So 13th of the 5th, 2002. Tessa. Can I just stop you there?

Who's Tessa? Well, it appears that Tessa was the name of my diary at this particular time. You called your diary Tessa? Well, that was really cool to name your diary something, apparently. I thought the diary's dear diary. I thought so as well, very Bridget. Well, this is dear Tessa.

Right. Why, Tessa? Well, my nana bought me this diary, as you can see. Yeah. Oh, okay. It's got fairies on the front. It's got fairies on the front. Love a fairy.

also says to my darling Sophie, Voham I love Nana on there, God love her. Oh. But who's Tester? Tessa was my nana's name. So she's essentially writing her diary to her nan. Which is a big word. I know I named my diary after my nan.

That is adorable. I think so. Okay. So what happens? This changed. Today was the first day of Sats. Oh. Which finally arrived.

Oh, and welcome back, Tessa. I'm just welcoming back. She's talking to the diary now. She's talking to her nun. Right. Mm-hmm. When we got there, we had chewy, toast and juice. Then we went to the loo and got a breath of fresh air.

What, in the loo? I don't think that's where you find a breath of fresh air. Yeah, absolutely not. What did you swallow bleach? Then it was the first test. I, to be honest, was very relaxed. Math. I know. I got it wrong.

Oops. Anyway. Wait, can I just say, can I just say, I love the, mm and the, oops. Yeah, she's got sound effects with her diary. I didn't do that. Tessa, can you hear that? Can you hear that, Tessa? To me just say, you had a maths exam and you were very relaxed.

What 10-year-old is very relaxed? Can I just say as well, in comparison to obviously the diary entries that we've read, I love that my biggest piece of news was the toast. Oh, it's chewy toast on the morning of the sap. What's chewy toast? It's that like really, what is chewy? Chewy toast, you know when it's like been cooked and it's sat there for a little while and it's a bit cold and it goes a bit chewy. Oh hard. No because like crunchy toast I guess it'd be soggy toast. You like soggy toast?

I used to dip my toast in my tea. I don't like tea either. I just... I feel like I'm suddenly ganged up on. Who are you? I know. I don't like tea and my British. Oh I don't know. That's hilarious. But okay so you like chewy toast and you were very relaxed for your maths exam. Oh. Anyway, after dinner, it was mental arithmetic. How did you have to spell that at 10?

How did you know how to spell that at 10? And I spelled it right. Oh, you're so intelligent. You got away with words, babe. I think I got too wrong. Wait for it. Oops. It's like you go through life being like,

oops, I slept with a man. Oops. Oh, oops. Sorry, I failed this. Oops. I found a penis. Oops. I slipped on the penis.

After school, I went to athletics, and I jumped one metre 50. I didn't try any higher. It guides, I made flowers and magnets. Wow. You had to live. You were jumping one metre 50. Why didn't you try higher, Sophie? I don't know.

Maybe it was a rough day. I'd have mental arithmetic. I'd had maths. I was just done it. She was exhausted. And then the flower magnets finished me off. Do you know what I mean? At the start of day, you were relaxed and applied to it.

You couldn't even bump to jump. No, I couldn't. I just made flower. We've actually got a few more little diary entry. Should I carry on? Keep going. Yeah, I'm enjoying them. I'm enjoying it.

Dear Tessa, day two of the sats, we have toast today again. I think... Toast on two days in the road. You don't have to leave. I know, not a leave. We did science and math. I think I did well on both of them. Oh my God.

Is that you said? I can't even read this next. Go on, say it. Oh God, say it. Oh God, say it. After this was made. was Maypole dancing. What's Maple dancing?

It's not that kind of pole dancing, babe. It's a very old, old English traditional dancing. It's, it's... Why was I Maypole dancing? You have to wear a particular kind of dress, like very old-fashioned, big, colorful dresses, and you dance around a pole with ribbons, you might have seen it.

And you make, like, plaids and stuff and patterns. You've always been a performer. Maple dancing. That's where I got on my scales. The one day you're doing the high jump, the next day you're doing, I didn't have all these extracurricular activities. I just don't know where you've had the time to write the diary.

I was always in the extracurricular activities. You've got such a busy schedule. I do not know how you've had the time to pick up your right hand. I haven't even finished the sentence. I have just, oh, go, go on. After this was Maypole dancing, then ballet and tap. Oh, wow. Good news.

Let me just get something clear here. I sound like very middle class. You do. It was really, really not. You did ballet and tap and Maypole dancing. Just, I love my hometown. Okay, I love my hometown. But Google Barrow and Furness.

Barrow and finesse. And you'll realize. Boring. Just, it's just, it's just not the place that Maypole dances and does ballet. It's got the higher, is it the highest heroin? Addiction rate. An unemployment rate. Yeah.

Bless it. That doesn't sound that boring. But, do you know what I mean, the community? The town was the one that, like, appeared on Benefit Street on Channel 5. Do you know what? Yeah, yeah. But you know what? The community there is lovely.

So shout out to Barrel, honestly. Yeah, they are lovely. And the benefits. Can I just say here? You ended it, well, night, love Sophie Craig. Like, as if your diary didn't know who was writing in it. No, Hank, can you just check out my signature there, guys? Oh, it's...

Oh, I love that. Isn't that nice? Sophie Craig. Yeah, what 10 you would write like that? You write better at 10 than I do now. Well, funny you should say that. Go on. Because in day three,

We had really crunchy toast. Oh, the toast has changed. I had a reading, spelling and handwriting test. In handwriting, I wrote like this. Oh, and she did an example of how well she could write. No, show me. Let me just show that around to you all. I wrote like this.

That's very nice. Well, we're past halfway, and I'm not at all worried. Love, Sophie. I'm not at all worried. Are we going to find out how you're done in your sets, or is that further on in the book? Because I just need to know now. What did you get in your...

What even are sats? Like, I can't really remember. They're just like knock off with GCSEs, I think. They really stressed me when I was younger, but I thought maybe... Honestly, yeah, because they're on about getting... They've got rid of them, haven't they? Yeah. Well, what was the point?

Because there was sats in year two, wasn't there? Do you remember? Yeah, there was. Imagine putting that sort of stress on like, what, how old are you in year two? Six. Six, yeah. I remember in my sats test, actually, in year two. What, when you were very relaxed?

Very relaxing as you'll calm she do. I don't remember getting crunched at snitcher. But I had a teacher called Miss Redesca. What a name, hey. And my friend sat opposite me. She woke on me saying her name. Her name is Steph. Brilliant, hilarious girl.

And we were doing our sats at the time. Obviously, you've got to be deadly silent. And she caught my eye across the table. And she was like, Sophie. It's like, what do you think? What do you mean? Make a noise. She was like, make a noise.

And I was a sort of. kid that if you dared me to do anything, I would do anything. I could imagine that, yeah. And literally it was like, you know, when you're like holding your nose. Oh, yeah. I love that laughter. Like, literally, and that air comes out of your eyeballs.

I mean, that's so true. And I was like, in the middle of my sats, I got picked up, dragged out by the elbow, and literally I had to stand outside the room. The sats room? Yeah, and I don't remember much of it. I just been remembering really tracts.

Was it that moment you realized that you was no longer calm? I was perfectly calm to be honest. That's when she realised that she'd just do anything anyone would say. And it was that moment she knew. It was that moment she knew. She was a pushover. It's happening from a very young age.

From a very young, it's just people pleaser. I've always been a people pleaser. Just going back to having an exam. So I remember they've got two funny exam stories. Story number one. We were in an exam for, I think it was GCSE. Yeah. A bird, little bird, got into the exam room in the exam.

the gymnasium that we were in. Oh, what a bugger. And was like flying around and we were trying to ignore this bird. Highlight. Which wouldn't be so distressing, but what was distressing? The caretaker came in

and got a bag and caught the bird, wrapped the bag up. Stamped on the bag. You're joking. And we had to just continue the exam. Literally, there was like,

there was an execution of a baby bird in the GCSE exam. What the hell? We should have all passed us for that. I would claim on that. I would claim. If you've got to be on that test,

I'd be like, mate, that would have been a nice star if that freaky, bloody caretaker I'd have been stamping baby birds next? No. You could claim, have you witnessed the death of a baby bird? I know. That's what I'm thinking. What did the bird sound like when it took its laugh breath?

Oh, I don't remember. But it was, it just, that was... Yeah. Sorry. You watched some weird documentaries on Netflix. I just got that about you. No, I just wanted to know. Do you remember?

If a wasp ever got in a classroom, it was carnage. Oh, yeah, God. If there was a was a wasp in the classroom. Oh, my God, that was the best day ever. It was so funny with a wasp coming in. I never know what you mean. Oh, and exam. Story number two.

Oh, go for it. There was a girl that she disappeared halfway through time in year 11. We were like, what anyone's seen this girl? We'll call her Amy. And we're like, we haven't seen Amy. Where is Amy? And then we got to the exams and suddenly she turned up again in her school uniform, nine months pregnant.

No. And they made her, this poor girl, put her uniform back on, which obviously didn't fit her. Oh, God, love her. And I just remember sitting a few rows back from her, and her, like, skirt had to be open, fully the zip to the bottom.

Oh, God, love it. They didn't even let her sit it, because you have to sit it in the exam room. And I remember her having, and everyone were being like, oh, my God, Amy is back, and Amy is like the baby. And it was drummers. Oh, my God.

Can you imagine that age? How horrific. I know. We were 15, 16, yeah. So speaking about getting told off as well in exams. So we, I took textiles, got to see, passed it with flying colours. Anyway, I had this teacher, we didn't like each other, clashed heads. I was a bit of a class clown when I was a kid.

Oh, were you? I couldn't imagine that. I was. And we had to describe, and we had to name a film that described us. So we're all going round and I'm getting excited because you know when you please yourself because you know what you're about to say and you're giggling, you're like, so she was like, Freddie your girl, I went, Freddy got fingered. And she was like, get out the club.

She was fuming with me and I was like you asked to describe a film being honest I was living my true life There is a film called Freddy Got Finger. Yeah, there is there is there is Okay, so final interview for the sats here. Okay, day for today. It has been roasting hot That's 20 degrees Celsius 70 degrees far enough wait wait Roasting hot is 20 degrees I'm from the north. Okay, that's that is practically sunstroke That's the winter in London. That is the wind That's sunstroke That's that frostbite weather here

That's factor 50 We did our writing test today And I went into the library to do it It's about a boy that went back in time To the Tudor period because of a book He was mistaken for a jester And couldn't make the king laugh So I went to the dungeons and was sentenced to be be beheaded

I'm doing the whole bloody story in my mind You're just basically copying your homework out there Very graphic Just as he was about to be be beheaded A villager found the book Turn the page and Sam Was taken back home ellipsis with the villager

what does ellipsis mean ellipsis is a dot dot dot dot oh I didn't even know that I was there going who's ellipsy what you mean a dot dot dot dot dot you know three dots which means dot dot dot will continue yeah right ellipsis with the villager you're very intelligent as a child I don't know what happened how are you so brainy

I was very brainy but I was just like you don't use it you lose it don't you yeah after school I went to look after Beanie because he was very hot. Who's been he's been he was my rabbit. Oh, what happened to beanie? He got an obsessant and died. Oh God, that's awful. That's why you give kids pets, though, to teach them about death.

Yes, I had a hamster for two weeks and I had to give it back up because I gave it diarrhea. I gave it a PSD. Post-traumatic stress? Yeah. Oh, wow. What did you feed it? Well, no, we're a very loud household.

Oh, they're quite nervous. Yeah. Oh, yeah. You would have given him this. diarrhea right poops there yeah it's all foul I played bullies tackle at the buildo and came home night wait what that is the most northern sentence I've ever heard I've played Billy to add the what I'll these tackle at the build up so bullies tackle okay it's like always tackle at the build up British bulldog oh yeah

British bulldog right it was called bullies tackle and the builder was it's not another thing we just called it the build up basically it was a piece of lamb that somebody started building the house on and never finished it oh and we all just used to play in it. We used to have... Oh wow, it is rough for you're from. Yeah, isn't it? I'm finished houses.

I feel like you should start a Facebook group saying who wants to go and play Bullies tackle at the Bildo. The Bildo? Sounds like a good name for a series. And see who turns up. You might get 500 people. Or you might get just us three.

Or just us go and playing... That's fine. That's all right. We can wrestle at the buildup. Amazing. And that was it. This is hilarious. But then I came back to my diary in year eight.

Okay. I'll have the clothes here. Okay. Go on, let's do it. Oh, so you skipped gear. Sorry, just clarify, you skipped here. A lot of my diaries do this. I go backwards and forwards between diaries

and I find my diaries and I write in them from, like if I pick them up, I'll write in them from where I am at that particular time. Right. Yeah, and this just says here, hi, I'm in you right now.

By the way, I got straight fives in sats. He-hee. Oh, he-he. Straight-hives. I'm assuming that's like the top in it. Yeah, you must be. I think I got a one. Yeah, it was.

I have to say. It was. I'll write in it now and then and it will have my secrets D-dun-dun Elypices Are you gonna leave it? Elipset

So that is basically the youngest ever entry of my diaries And it's all about school You've inspired me You sound like a 10 year old Well you do sound like a 10 year old But you also write like you're a 25 year old Going through a breakup and a divorce

Now I write like I'm 10 You like roles of verse You're much more intelligent than me when I was 10 and now, to be fair. I honestly think there's so much pressure, though, on young kids at school. Now, my sister's the same age now as I was when I was writing that.

And it is so different. It is a different world now. They talk about TikTok and all that. Yeah. I was Maypole dancing and making magnets at guys. Yeah, you was. And if they probably won't write a diary, they're just probably dear notes now, wouldn't it be?

Dear notes. Dear Siri. Dear Siri. Alexa. Alexa, this is my day. Okay, thank you. Yeah, they're going to do that. Or there's going to be like,

I think there are going to be like, we're going to just record everything about our life. We're going to be wearing glasses that record everything. And you're just going to have it. So you don't have to remember because you'll just go back to the hard drive that has what went on on that day. Snapchat did that though, didn't they? Yeah, they did with Carly Jenner.

And they brought out glasses, didn't they? That record your, you can Snapchat literally from your face. It's quite scary though, isn't it? Yeah. It's quite depressing that. What's going to happen when we're, Raoul? because the old generation now are like, oh, not in my day.

Yeah. So what are we going to be saying? No, but when they said, give it about 20, 30 years, and old people's homes music is going to be great. Because it's going to be all... Like Justin Bieber. Yeah.

Baby, baby, baby. Oh, Franklin, we're just really relaxed from it. Put more bit of Justin. You're going to put some Justin on. This flow rider. Mickey Nards. How's your science to me today? Baby.

Yeah, no, but I do. I think it is completely different. And just even looking at things like, obviously you do quite a lot in social media, so it's Johanna or design, things like TikTok, the kids that are using TikTok, like my little sister doesn't have social media because my mum won't allow it to have social media.

I think that's so good. But I think a lot of kids now, and it is another way, like a lot of kids have it now, and it is a big, big pressure to have it, but it's also another way for people to single people out, bully people. It's so, honestly, it's cruel. I am so glad that I did not have social media.

So am I. When I was in school. 100%. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't even think about that side of it. But like, I remember, because I was at the age, phones appeared with cameras probably when I was about 15, 16. And even then it was like two pixels.

You couldn't really see all that. His motor roller was the classic. It was the new iPhone. Oh, bear with me. That's on silent. I don't know how that. There she is, ruining the podcast. That's literally on silent.

Apple. Oh, my gosh. Oh, it's all a fix in it. It's all a fix. Someone's listening to us. No, they probably are, zero. So we did a shout out on social media asking for you guys listening at home to get in touch with us and tell us your experiences or funny stories or what was, what is it that, what most concerned you about your school years? Okay.

Because obviously we went to school. way back when and things have changed now. Yes. So one of the things that they were saying I came again and again and again was exam pressure and body image pressure. That is what people are feeling. And the pressure to fit in,

so we're gonna shout out. Ellen Victoria 91 said, my ginger hair was my biggest worry and I dyed it brown to fit in. Oh, I find this so sad. I know. I love ginger hair. I fancy gingers.

Do you? Yeah, they're like Ron Wheasley. Yeah, do you know what? I felt a lot of pressure as a kid to her fit in. And I feel like, I feel like, no matter what in life, no matter what you do in life to please other people, there's going to be someone else to comment on your appearance or the way you act.

So I learned very quickly at a young age that, do you know what, just be you. Just be you and, you know, find yourself within. If people are not going to like it, then they're not going to be your friends. And as soon as I started owning my gayness, everyone backed off. Yeah.

And because I owned it, like, yeah, I'm gay, you're straight kind of thing. There's power in that. There's power in like knowing yourself and not second-guessing yourself. And it's a confidence thing. It is, you're so right. Fake it till you make it. And it's exactly what I did. Even if I was insecure about my sexuality, I didn't let that off because I thought, if people see weakness.

Yeah, they're going to stab it. It's like a fly on poo, isn't it? Just go through it. One million percent, especially I think where kids are concerned, I've always been a bit of a pushover. and you know I think throughout my school I was always a good student I was you know I wasn't I was friends with lots of different people and but I remember there was a at one point I was in year seven there was a we hate Sophie club and that was like but that breaks my

heart yeah but and I had never done anything wrong and some of these girls were like supposed to be my friends and obviously it's just kids being kids but at the time I couldn't understand it obviously It's just jealousy. Like honestly, and you don't see that as a kid, you just take it at front value. What have I done?

What's wrong with me? Whatever, you know. And I think it is so, there's so much. There's a caroling going off. I was trying to get into the building. I think there's so much pressure on kids just to, I don't know,

be something that they're not. But this is, it is something that comes with age and I don't want to sound cliche because it's so, is though. It does. about getting older where you just go, do you know what, this is me and I'm comfortable with who I am. You're so right.

And having your own, like, because I struggled with assertiveness and things like that. But when you finally come into your own, it is literally, as you said, Freddie, like a cloud has been lifted. Like, you cannot come for me because I am completely comfortable with all my, my flaws in security, yeah. Floors and securities, my choices, you know. So right. Yeah, I don't know.

I just, I think it's so important. And if there is something I wish I could tell 11, 12, 13 year old Sophie, is you're freaking awesome, the way that you are. Yeah, you're weird and you're awesome and that's how you are. Yeah, and that's amazing. And you know what? Those same people that did and said those things will be the people that when you're older go,

oh, she was a really good person. Yeah, you're right. And we're all in the same industry. And what makes me laugh is the people that were horrible to you at school, the people like, oh my God, you're doing so well for yourself. Yeah, oh, thanks. And it's frustrating, isn't it?

But then we're the ones that have got the last laugh. Especially for you, Freddie. Obviously, you blew up over, like, you know, obviously you were in the circle. And then the minute that you come out, your life's changed. Completely changed. So I can imagine for you, that must have been even,

like, on a massive scale. Yeah, I mean, people that I didn't speak to for years or, like, took the mic, because I was gay, suddenly, like, that breaks my heart. Oh, my God, you've done so well. And I've literally done. not even entertained the messages.

I wouldn't even respond. I did put something up when I first come out. It does actually make me hysterically laugh. The people that didn't want nothing, would walk past me in the street and not even say hello. Now I want to buy me a bunch of flowers. Yeah. I'm like stuffy flowers.

Yeah, I've got a fever. I don't want your flowers. So Mad Cow 74 said, Girls and Being Bullied. And there is a lot of people here. Emma GioXX said Girls being mean, women are mean, I'm 30, and I'm still regularly having to deal with bull poop. And it is actually something. Girls are, I went to a girls only school.

So my secondary school was just girls and it was, there was a lot of estrogen in there. And I had, I did have friends. I was not in the popular group and I had my own little group of like weirdos. But I unfortunately had a few years of having a frenemy, which is a really unusual. It's a thing. Type of friend. And yeah, I had a friend who, she was my friend, but now looking back, I'm like, no, she bullied me.

She pushed a lot of her problems onto me. I was the skinniest little kid, but I was sort of, I was like skinny flabby. So I was skinny, but had a little pot belly. And this girl would go at me for my belly, and she'd squeeze it, and she'd call me Oge Podge, and things like that. And then looking back, I was like, this girl was big.

And I didn't really register it at the time, because you don't think about that stuff when you're like 12. I was like, oh, She was, in my eyes she was beautiful because she had boobies. Yeah. But she was for that age and stuff.

She was a heaviest set girl. And obviously she maybe wasn't, and she was just pushing that on me. And they used to play this game. I didn't have a, I hate Johanna Club, but I did have, it was called Johanna Shut Up. So they would call me. Because whenever someone calls your name,

you go, yeah, you just turn around. So these girls, and she got other girls to do it as well. Where they go, Johanna, and I'm like, yeah, and they go, shut up. Oh my God, how do Grady? And you try and laugh it off. like huh got me good but actually it was horrible and this girl was getting other girls to do it to me

and it took me until year eight when I had to take a stand and this girl would come and pick me up every day she'd knock for me and we'd go to school and if she was late that meant I was late because I had to wait for her and one day I remember she knocked and I didn't come out and I hid in in the house and I let she went off to school and then she didn't speak to me again but I was free I was free of the fren of me that's so horrible

but you know what that's that's really good though that even by year eight you were able to, well, this one, this isn't right, a toxic relationship. Because toxic relationships aren't just to do with your partner that you choose, oh yeah, you're right.

Friendships as well, and letting go of that. I'm witnessing it now with my 10-year-old sister and I, I'm literally, there are girls that are so, that are frenemies, that are frenemies, they're so mean to her and that they're so nice to the next day and they're so mean to the next day. And my little sister's been through a lot,

as you know, obviously. And it makes me so angry. I wish she knew what I know now. Do you know what I mean? And approach it with that. If I could. And what was interesting was I was quite a shy kid and I was, because all my reports,

I remember in year seven, I got a C in drama. And my report said, Johanna doesn't want to instigate in the class. She doesn't want to come forward, she's quite quiet. The minute I dropped that friend, my year nine report, I got an A in drama. Johanna won't shut up. Johanna wants to be at the front. Johanna's directing everyone.

Yeah, because you know what? They're knocking you down by telling you to shut up. Although you thought at the time it was probably funny. I did shut up. Yeah. You did shut up. Because they're dig-d-d-digg-d-it. It's like a bird at the tree.

Yeah, like a woodpecker. Yeah. And it was amazing. Just seeing my, seeing my two different grade results from those three years, I was like, wow. So it's a big pal of the back to me for dropping those beliefs. Well done, yeah. Brilliant.

So yeah, going back to, obviously, what Mad Cow is saying she's still witnessing it now in her third I think that a lot is to be said for the people that you surround yourself with. Exactly. I recently with everything that's gone on with my dad passing away, etc. You do, you start to see people for what they really are when big things happen in your life. And I've actually just taken a step back from the relationships that make me feel not good. Yeah, not necessarily, I'm not being mean and they're not necessarily being mean, but they're not making me feel good.

So I don't, I've decided to just step away from it and allow it. And always be lovely, always be civil, always be kind. But what I would say is perhaps take a step back from the relationships that aren't making you feel good. That does not make you a bad person. The thing that matters most in the world is this, is you. Your self-preservation. You are the person that matters in all of this.

And if something's not making you feel good, it doesn't make you a bad person to step back from it. But even as a fully grown woman, it's difficult. Oh, it's hard, isn't it? It was your initiative to, like, kick in. See, I'm a massive believer in, like, the universe and, like, what you put out, you receive. So if you're going to surround yourself by negativity

or even entertain bullies, because that's what, that's replying and, like, reacting, it is entertaining it, and that's exactly what they want. Then you're putting that in the universe. So if you're being negative to someone, that's got to come back around at some point,

and it's going to hit you, whether it's now or six months time, it will hit you like a sack of bricks. Yeah. Because, oh. I just love hearing you talk, Redding. Really? Yeah, you're honest, you should have,

like, you should get on a soapbox somewhere. I'm going, I'm going. Or do it. Motivational speaker. Yeah, you should be a motivational speaker. Yeah, honestly. Yeah, for sure. I'm a massive believer in the universe.

And I feel like for me, it's really worked. I had a bit of a down week last week. I think we all do, especially in an industry where you're self-employed. Sometimes it's very stressful to get work. And I then changed my mindset completely by the Monday and so much work come in. And that's what happens.

Yeah, yeah. So that's what I think. That's what I would say, I'd say take a look at the people that are surrounding you. If you're feeling like, you know, there's a lot of crap, going on there's a lot of people talking then step away from those relationships yeah friendships are quality not quantity correct hundred percent guys we had to come

into land here thank you so much Freddie for coming on thank you for having amazing thank you darling we've loved having you on the show thank you so so much guys be sure to check out Freddie where can they find you on Instagram it's Freddie Bentley official and on Twitter it's already be, haven't you? Fabio. Amazing.

Okay. Thank you so much, girls. Thank you. Honestly, thank you. It's been really lovely having you in. Thanks so much for joining us, guys. We'll see you all again next week. Take care.

Don't forget, guys, you can follow us on social media. You can hit us up at It's James and Craig on all the usual places, Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, all that jazz. I'm also on the gram. I'm at Johanna James. And I'm also on the gram. I'm not on the gram. Oh, I'm also on the gram, by the way.

We're all on the gram. And it's at James and Craig and it's at Sophie. It's Sophie Gregan. It's at Johanna James. Oh, we've caught this right up. If you've been affected by any of these issues raised in today's episode or a seeking professional help, there are lots of amazing people out there to help. We recommend Mind. You can reach out to them at www.mind.org.

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