Death To Everyone - Death To... AI, Diseases & Giant Woman Feat. Kergen Engel

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Our favourite person named Kergen is back in the space car to help us decide which important things get preserved for all time. Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠You can send us a voicemail at ⁠⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠⁠

Hello? Hello. Are you feeling elevated? Perhaps you could dine out at a fancy restaurant tonight to feel special. By that blush, you've been eyeing in the window. Blush? Yes. Your cheeks will look peach and your heart will be warmed.

What shoes were you wearing your trotters? Of course, you'll have sold your shoes at cash converters to be able to afford the fine dining experience. But no one will notice. because your feet will be beneath the table, out of the waiter's snooty gaze. I'm lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. Yes, you are.

And you know what? There's only one. Thank you. Thankfully. Two celestial goddesses task with the almost impossible job of deciding what from human culture survives the apocalypse. Wow. We are joined today, as ever, by our producer, Matt,

who also drives this space car through the celestial void that contains us. Where are we off to today? I think we must go through the Milky Way. The Milky Highway. Oh! Take the Rainbow Road, won't you, Matt? Oh, I didn't like the Rainbow Road. Which one didn't you like?

64. Oh. Too hard for you. it didn't have bumpers no so it's too hard for you what I look for in a scenic road is not a level of difficulty I see

I like Mumu Farm Oh that is such a good stage I fucking love Mumu Farm I hate that highway Yeah I didn't play this game To get stuck in traffic Or get squashed by it

A truck Yeah What about when you slide up one And then you get a little lift Yeah I don't like that Okay What else did I like that? Oh, I hated Yoshi's world.

What's going on with that map? The GPS has broken there. Yeah, but what about that twirling, gigantic egg? Twirling, twirling, sometimes crashing? What I meant to think is inside of there? A big Yoshi. Yeah. But who laid the big Yoshi egg?

Exactly. Colossal Yoshi. She's coming back. To kill us. Or do you think it was meant to be like animatronic? Peach's Castle is my favorite. I know it's a basic bitch answer, but that place is fun. I see.

Yeah, it is fun. I mean, I can't say it's not fun. honestly I worry about the fish that vomits giant trophies what is she doing the rest of the year gobbling the trophies ready to vomit and that's hard work

and she just does gold yeah there'd be some element of like leached poisoning going on there absolutely the lead in the waterways yeah and it's our fault really I mean definitely what's Bowser's level

his castle there's like castle yeah lava everywhere yeah not into that Then, like, spooky outside bit with, like, haunted trees. I do like that you go for outside, the inside, day to night kind of feeling. Doesn't mean it's haunted. Sorry. Just because the tree is dead doesn't mean it's haunted.

Yes. Not yet. What do you think about deers that have spiders living in their spider webs between their antlets? I like it. How good is that? A knife finds a way. It's a bit mysterious, isn't it? Now, listen, Zelda.

Yeah. We've put the plug on for too long. It's time to blow out the plug. I don't need to hear that. we've put the plug on for too long between the two don't talk about plugs why

we got to introduce the guest before they we've got to unplug the guest unplug the guest unplug well all right okay so today joining us once again in the studio to help in our

ceaseless work we have husband it's Murphy cring crunch crunch crunch my husband curchin is here to talk to us hello husband kerchen hello celestial goddesses and Space Car Driver Matt.

Thank you for being respectful to Matt. Oh my God. It's a work in progress. Listen, we're trying to turn him into a young gentleman so we can show them off to society. Ledette to Lady style. Whenever coercion comes around, there's always a lot of questions. I know. He wants to know so much about me.

Oh, yes. Quite inquisitive. Like a toddler. In Star Wars, you'd be an inquisitor. I would love to. Do they have a gun that choose laser beams? No. They have lightsabers.

But they have like spinning lightsabers. What color is it? Red. Purple? Mm, boring. You'll be a minion of Darth Vader. Inquisitor. Will you tell me what to do?

Yes. Okay. You've got the power to do it. But I can also have the power to inquire. Yeah, and a lot of agency. Like, they kind of just go off and do their own thing. But, like, I don't want to be, like, a violent inquisitor. Like, I want to be the kind of one that's, like, sitting at the bar and I'm like,

so tell me everything about you. And then, like, chit-chat, get all the gossip. And then. you're hanging around in the cafeterias. Don't think that Darth Vader would appreciate your approach. But Darth Vader's not the top of the totem, is he? Well, the Inquisitors serve Darth Vader. Yeah.

And also my husband, I think that Darth Vader's approach is very single faceted. And I'm taking something that is an approach that he isn't taking, which is not violence-led. I mean, listen, calm down. I was just saying Darth Vader isn't the like, be-all-end-all. He works for the emperor. Yeah, why are you such a Darth Vader apologist? Listen, he had made a lot of good points. such as

killed him all and as I will after getting all the gossip extinction level of it so listener tell me about you who are you let's rebuild your story

see this is what we get and everyone just be quiet for a second how many times does the desktop being built too that's interesting listener well don't they rebuild it in the new calls

no they're well they're building a new death ray of sorts but they just it's not a star it's not a star death planet no anyway thank you so much for joining us husband you've been very ill

so coming out of your sick cocoon has been so kind of you oh it's been such a joy to emerge I did by yoga this morning to stretch my body that hasn't been stretched in three days like a beautiful butterfly they always do yoga out of the cocoon yeah that's true

I heard that if the cicada doesn't hang upside down for at least half an hour, the fluids can't fill its wings. That's what I was doing this morning, filling my wings. With fluid. This is the kind of energy that you bring. Leans back and hangs upside down as its little wings drop down with the force of gravity. And if it's interrupted during its period of letting its wings fill slowly with fluid with the power of gravity, then its wings will be forever deformed. It won't be able to fly. It's true

All good things take time Zelda You can't rush it And I do just find you a little bit too Rucky rushy, rushy Yeah Yes We call you Katja Because you're Russian

Plays You know what I'm Russian The cool down on this tea I just poured hot I mean cold cold wharfing Okay listen Let's let's crack on We've got to move this shit along

Oh We're speed running today's podcast Kedon as our guests, would you like to tell us how the world ends? Whoa! You're really speed running. Darling, we're moving it alone. Whoa!

Curgeon, tell us something that you've been doing. Oh, for fuck sake, Matthew. Just because your husband isn't polite enough to ask, I will. Yeah, oh, thank you, Matthew. What have you been up to? Well, the past week, I've been camping. Camping? In the frozen tundra of the Victorian Islands.

Oh. That's why you got sick. And I do think that's why I got quite sick. I just thought it would be such a fabulous moment, and I haven't done it in such a long time. And it was with a tent, and I went with two of my friends, one of whom is down from Darwin, and we decided to go camping in the Arrow Rangers.

And we set up our campsite right next to a lyrebird nest. And that was quite beautiful. And I awoke at 3.30 in the morning, both to a frozen face, until liar birds going, ooh! And that was quite beautiful. They were peering over it.

Did you record any of the sound? I wish I had it, but I didn't. Would you like to do a camping soon, though, Zeldar? Yes, we'll do that. Yes. Listen out, you're also invited, because I'm interested in you. Some of them are. Are they hot?

Only the hot listeners get hot. The ones that have a high body temperature. Yeah. Oh, I have a high body temperature. Has the Crush episode gone out yet? It's just... Yes, everything's gone out. A little crush.

Everything's gone out. This is the last one in the run of episodes we've done. Yeah, but. But I'm asking, have people heard whether we're looking for Zelda's crush? Tell us if you have a crash on Zelda. If by now it's out, then you're just doubling down on the fact that no listeners. I haven't heard from anyone yet, but it hasn't gone out yet. Did you ever?

Oh, the Crush one hasn't gone out yet? No. Oh, okay. Thank you. So now, calm down. All right. Zelda, did you ever watch that reality TV show where those gay guys had to, like, pretend to be straight? Yes.

And then eliminate each other? Yes. What if we ran a camp session with like 10 of your crushes and you got to eliminate them one by one? Mm. And then the winner survived. No, I would hate that. That all just end up having sex with each other. Oh.

Listeners, if you want to come to our camping session, you cannot have sex with each other. No, they can. They can do whatever they want. But you have to leave. Yes. Zelda has to watch. No. 24 hours to love with Miss Vanjee.

for those gay guys were more interested in each other than the shrieking drag queen. Yes. I don't need that in my life. That's weird. My life. My life. Anyway, so how the world ends. While I've been in my sick cocoon, I've been playing the fabulous game, Holy Night's Silk Song.

Silk Song. What is the silk song? How does it go? Anyway, something like that. And I think that the way that the world ends is we all just get a bit sick of it and rage quit. I think we're old F4 out of here. Yeah. Out of here to death?

We out of here. We shut off the computer. Of life. It just gets too much and you just need to take a break. You rage quit silks on? Like frequently, it's taken me 10 months to like get to the final boss of whom I still haven't decided. You're up to the final boss? Yes.

I'm like 60 hours in and I. Oh gosh. You know. Sorry, you say. No, you're good. I've played 43 and a half hours as Emma Frost in rivals. Marvel rivals. Yeah.

Wow. And like because she came out in season two, it was like early days. So I've had a long time to play her. Whereas Rogue only came out in season 5. So I'm only up to like 23 and a half hours with Rogue. But I want Rogue to be my number one most played. But it's literally a day of my life that I need to spend. Isn't that scary?

Yes. Yes. How long do the matches go for? Depends, but like between seven and 15 minutes. Ma'am. You have to do like a hundred of those. Yeah. And I will. Yes. As time goes on. Who's your number one most played in Overwatch?

In Overwatch. It was a big Zaya fan. So listening, if you're a Zaya fan, reach out, DM me on the Discord or wherever you can DM me. I'd be down. Stalk me. Only if you're Izaya fan of Overwatch. Zaya.

Yes. What about you, husband? What's your favorite? What's your account? Azaya. Oh my God. So, oh gosh, it's actually really embarrassing. I actually don't think that I can say this out loud.

You have to. I said 42 and a half or whatever. I think it's upwards of 400 hours. Azaya. Azaya. But that's like, isn't that just so chic? Oh, gosh, it makes you feel physically ill. But that game's been out for 10 years.

years. Yeah. Yes. They just celebrated their 10th anniversary. Um, and it makes me feel sick how much time I've spent playing these games. And I actually like made a little bit like like a little packed to myself that I was going to play more narrative driven games. And Silk Song, which I'm just so obsessed with like the fantasy and the law and the way that they're built it and the mechanics and how frustrating it is to play. I just am so impressed by that. I just think that that's fabulous. Um, anyway, so I, yeah, the ends by everyone rage quitting simultaneously. Like the Trump stuff, like the endless wars. Everything just gets a little bit too much.

Social media, doom scrolling. Count bin face. Count bin face. Like, I'm actually like pro count bin face, but I just, I'm also just like, democracy just shouldn't have got into this point. We're all just so sick of it that we need like a count bin face to save us all. I do agree. I feel like the world is like on the precipice of rage quitting.

However, I just think it's so sad because, humanity has lived through plagues a decade where there was so much ash hanging in the atmosphere that it was just like overcast all the time where a third of the population of Europe died and now we're like this is just overwhelming

I have too many options and my TikTok algorithm just changed again I'm rage quitting. It's too much like if our ancestors could see us and we're like we starved Yeah. For three winters in a row, eating only seeds we could forage from the ground. And you're rage quitting because the like cost of a pancake parlor dinner was too expensive.

Because of my mortgage interest rates. Yeah. Oh my God. We're built different. We are better. Like tissue paper. I also think though, like if I were to look at it on a different side of the coin, I rage quit silks on because I didn't want to finish the game.

Like I was so excited to find out what comes next. I was so frustrated by the process. But I was like, do you know what? It's better to just take a break and come back to it a little bit later with a new perspective. And maybe there's a positive to this apocalypse. We rage quit because we just need a little break to come back and find new perspective. Well, we won't be coming back. Everyone's dead at that point.

Well, except in the bunker. The inhabitants of the bunker will pick up the controller once more. The beating heart of humanity laying 20, thousand miles beneath the ground in our bunker. Okay. That's a great end. I like that.

Could you sing us a silk song? Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, okay, that was enough.

400 hours. Of Zaya, and do you know what? She's only got two abilities. Bubble you, bubble me. She can't even rush. Bubble me. Eh,

well, listen. That is crazy. Oh, so sorry, only two abilities. What about the loadouts that Overwatch introduced two years ago? Well, one of them is that her particle cannon can pierce enemies. Oh, because I felt like I was sassy other day about Overwatch having more abilities than Marvel rivals as of two years ago. Oh, they just caught up. Well, it sounds like you've only got bubble me, bubble you.

Thankfully, with the introduction of Stadium in Overwatch, she's got a few more abilities. but in the base game, bubble me, bubble you. If it's not, Pokemon Stadium, I'm not interested. That's actually not true. 10,000 hours is how you become an expert in something. A mistress, I've heard. So you are... A mistress?

So you are still a ways away. Yeah. Okay. Wait. What kind of outfits does she have? Holy shit. Her outfits are... We're going to go to a break and we'll be right back.

Fowl! So foul. She's got nothing. her best outfit is like her as an alien and it's so ugly. Anyway, and with that, we'll be right back, listeners. Thanks so much for listening. Hey, Kerch is driving the podcast again. He's not.

It's all coming back to me now. The show just ended. Oh, my gosh. You know what, Kerch, maybe we just run this episode. Lazy's gone into a... Lazy's spiraled. I am gonna kill Lazy's up. She's spiraled.

Welcome back, everyone. She's rage quitting. Hi, everyone. Lazy Susan's Rage Quit the Pod. Sorry. This is a Kyrgyn special. And we're doing... The Kyrgyn and Matt Pod.

Hey, my pseudonym today is Murpham ClickClack. Merfam Clip Krak. Thank you. Um, Murpham. Yes. What is the first topic for discussion today? The first topic. Oh gosh.

I was so excited by like all of these stories that, like, when you step into like a spaceship or whatever like you were greeted by something and it kind of like chats to you throughout like your time in this enclosed space and I really want to know like what is the AI that is inhabiting the bunker and watching everyone's every single move AI like in um calls and safe way at the moment that's correct when you're at the self-serve checkout yeah well even they're doing it in the uh the aisles now oh my gosh yeah is it AI who are watching you tracking was it just like a person tracker yeah no no no it's an AI interface that then hands over to a person if they spot anything. And do you know what? I alert you if like you're picking up something and putting in your pocket. Yeah.

And my friend at Pub Footy, because I'm now a football player, he designs the AIs that go on our Melbourne trains and trams. Thanks to that man, I guess. What are they put on the train? To detect machetes. Jesus. Oh my God. How do they detect a machine?

Stay away from Melbourne. It's all over for you. But I was thinking more like a fabulous, like, hell from, um, space odyssey, he was famously fabulous. He was. He wouldn't open the podplay doors.

And then voiced by Pierce Brosman. Yes. I, I get it. I, I get it. You know, the whole thing,

I get it. But at what point, just, like, programming, like, at what point did, just,

like, sophisticated programming turned into, like, AI. Sorry? Like, it's just a more calibrated, like, resourceful program. Yeah.

And, like, that's fine, but it's not above word. Yeah, when does the, when does the intelligence come in? If it's not generating new thought, if it's just referencing stuff, which is just what AI is doing. Yeah. It's just referencing existing things. That's just a program. I think there is a technical definition, which is, like,

a artificial intelligence versus general intelligence. Like when it gets to a point where it can Like it's not just a sequence generator It's a new thing generator But yeah I don't know But it is like I guess just branding

Yeah And like also there is a huge amount more Like the system has like leapt forward In this style of computing Yes But I just don't know why it's called AI AI

AI Or like, but you go Zelda. I mean, my pick is by far like the danger room, but like when it is manifested into danger, the country robot woman from X-Men, who is just like the physical embodiment of the danger room and her name of danger. I think you need to give some context to assume that maybe not everyone knows what the danger room is. Well, at the X-Mansion, those X-Men, they need training. And what better than a room built by Charles Xavier? to test and trial his X-Men against all kinds of scenarios in a safe environment,

though it is not always safe, as it is called the Danger Room, after all. But in this place, you can set up all kinds of fabulous, you know, kind of like a hollow deck, if you will, all kinds of scenarios where you might be fighting a Sentinel, or perhaps today, or finding Mystique, or perhaps you're fighting your past. But all of that could be simulated within the Danger Room, but then, of course, it comes a point where the danger room is just stuck inside a mansion, but a cunty robot with cord hair and a massive rack would be a much more efficient use. And so you turn it into danger, the sentient robot.

I have a side question, just before we go any further. Why did Charles Xavier call it the ex-m mansion and not the ex-mension? What? Don't answer that. Ex-mension? Because you know how he runs the... X-Men? Yeah.

Ex-mentioned. Why isn't it the X-Mension? I don't understand the question, and I won't respond to it. So it's a room that gains sentience. Yeah. So that's pretty good. That's a good AI.

A. A. But I also, I mean, I do love Hal, obviously. So evil. And what are you? A red bulb? That's pretty good. Hell 9,000.

They do like that. Yeah. By just reading, there's another one called Sal 9,000. Sal. It's the prequel. To Hal? Yeah.

Oh. From 2010. What? 2010. Another supercomputer. Oh. I like her. That's a great one.

Her. Her. Her. I like that she ditches his ass in the end. Yeah. Like that robot from Blade Runner. Any robot is AI, but we've already had the conversation. So I guess

I want to limit this to like they don't have like a corporeal form. They exist in like a lot of different places and flow through different technologies. So you're not tantalized by danger? Well danger was a room. I think that that qualifies. Okay. I'll go ahead.

I think it's just like if you have exclusively resided inside of a single robot. Like Mithrigan. Yeah. Mithrigan I wouldn't call like while she is AI. I don't think she's going to be like managing comms in the bunker. But she did go across. I watched Mithrigan too, actually.

And she was transferred across all sorts of different devices in that film. But she was blocked from, you know, escaping through the internet. Escape through the internet. I think that the issue of having that psychopathic doll in the internet would be the dancing. I don't want to see a, like, small. Mark Robot dance. Trying to do them a three gun dance. Also, I've seen robots dance recently.

They constantly slap children. I love that. It's so good. Oh, it's so good. There's a video of Zelda is referring to. There's many. Oh, those are robots. Flailing limbs.

I mean, I'm so excited for the robot revolution that China seems to have in store for us. Yeah. Because it isn't coming out of America. I could tell you that much. They're robots. Oh, don't. They've kicked part 3,000 out of this. Do you ever that one that walked down the aisle with Melania Trump?

The robots are coming. Oh my God, what if Melania was the bunker AI? Huh? What if Melania Trump was the bunker AI? She's busy. Yeah. She's got to go to fittings. In Alien, the computer's like interface is called Mother.

M-O-T-H-E-R. I like one that can only speak through text. Yes. There's five crew on board kind of thing. Yeah. Actually, that's pretty compelling. That's really cool. And that green interface.

DOS alien. Yeah. That means two. Yeah. I can see that you've been trying to shoplift. Put it back. Put it back. Skynet

Skynet is one I really like Holly from Red Dwarf Yes She's fab Sorry What's the Matrix Is that a

Original Holly Man Holly The Matrix Not girl Holly That comes along later Yeah well the Matrix Is Yeah I mean they're all robots

No the matrix itself Is the general AI Yeah The software that they're in Hmm Mm-hmm Mr. Anderson. Did you like The Matrix?

Me? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, really? Oh, my God. Hmm. There's a really good one in Zardos, that film I want, I sort to watch. Oh, fuck, sake.

We need to do that. And it oversees and protects the Eternals from death. It becomes like a god to the Eternals, keeping them young and alive unless they become too subversive. That's cool. Yeah. I do like that. What about Glados from Portal? I really like that diva.

That's probably the games I've played. Yeah. She's so Eva. I'm happy to put in Gladys. I really like Gladys and or Mother. Yeah. My top two so far. You know when you're fighting Gladys and then you look up because the roof was ripped off

and then you portal to the fucking moon? Yes. That is so cool. I like it when Gladys kills that hot cube. Oh, yeah. I like it when Gladys turns into a potato. Oh yeah She's cruel

And I hated Wesley Gladous Gladys Yeah I'm done for either Hmm Mother I love the notion That something's going wrong

In the bunker And the only way That the alarm system's going off Is via like Someone spamming the chat And you can't notice Unless you read the chat And mother's like

Run Run Run Has anyone Checked this lately Was that you role-playing that? Yeah, that was me as a character in the bunker. Has anyone checked this lately?

What about Bimo? B-mo. Which one's B-mo? Yeah. Oh, I love B-mo. Trapped in a corporeal form. Yeah, that's not a good. That's for which Android, I reckon.

Yeah, if you want to be a lot of Android, it's Android 18. Android 18 We need to go back and listen What? What's Android 18? Do we have Android's in already? Yeah Divas

From Dragon Ball C Oh, I never watched Dragon Balli She's got Kanti Blonde Bob We don't have which android What she got in for a robot? What's that robot That I don't got that There's nothing about Android 18 in him

Oh, Matt Speak hollers Are you all right Right in Let us know You don't This isn't This is a fake memory.

Okay. Let's put in glados. Glados. I felt erred on mother. I felt Zelda you and I were like on mother's side. I could do mother. Mother. I mean, mother would be, would need, um, what, a terminal.

Yes. With a black screen with green text only. Mm-hmm. And a real chunky, clacky keyboard. Yes. To chit-chat with mother. And the screen is quite small. True.

Oh, yeah. On the terminal and it's got a concave screen. Yes. And yeah, you might ask it for various things and it may or may not help you. And then it plays, I am your mother. You know Megan Traynor? In text version. No, I don't know that.

You are your mansplaining. Mother. Congratulations. Congratulations, Megan. You have made it in. That's cool. Well, is that from Alien? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. let's head along to the next category. And we'll be right back. Welcome back, listener. It's time for the next category. What will go into the doomsday bunker? And I've got this one lined up, but listener, just take a moment.

Have a deep breath. Have a thick of your drink. Oh, all right. If you've got a little snack, take a little crunch. Hey, no, I hate this. A comfort break. I know we're adding it in because I'm going with the podcast. This is like those YouTube videos.

that Zelda hates. And now that you just calm down after that scintillating conversation, we're ready to go into the next one. And the next topic of conversation will be which disease gets into the bunker? Nice. Thanks, Matt.

So I've been in my sick cocoon. And over this time, I have been obsessed with these four best friends on YouTube called a bunch of friends and they, oh my God, I'm just obsessed with all of them, but they obviously suffer from the disease. Brain rot. That's one that I'd like to put forward.

And listen, if you'd like to chat about a bunch of friends with me, I'll happily chit-chat. Bunch of friends. Go through their different personality types. Well, you've got anth, and he's like a Mr. Beast boy, and he's like sour, sour puss, a bit of a hotie buscotty. And then you've got Will, and he's like, oh my God, he's my favorite. it. And he's just off on his own little side quests all the time. And he's just so much

fun and does random stuff. And then you've got Koi and he's like the gay, twinkie, like main character guy. And kind of like driving the whole thing. And then you've got Hanbon who is like, oh, the best, the best. The best. Listeners, you all have to go and watch it. There's one where they all eat a weed brownie and then they go to a HVAC convention. It's very funny. A what convention? A HVAC convention. HVAC. Yes. Hmm. and those you both rage quit

they're both texting their friends oh well I'm just trying to find solos if you were listening to that you just heard the description of a YouTube gang this has been a Chivis Children Audio Book If you'd like to check out more titles

in this collection Check online at chiverschildrensaudiobook.com or head to your local library I'll have you know Robert watched one episode with me last night And you were giggling. The hot one doesn't want to hang out with them and it just stresses me and intrigues me.

Why, you can't just have a hotie-biscotty that doesn't want to hang out with them. He thinks he's too good for them. I know, he should be the dumb archetype instead of the mean archetype. It's sad. Do you think they've figured out their archetypes already? This is the most,

like I wouldn't be shocked to find out that they're all peola, you know. Little actors. Put there by the government. To keep the youth. Subdued. Sciop. They're a sciop.

These bunch of friends. I don't like it. There's no such thing as a bunch of friends. There's a bunch of bananas. Sorry. Sorry. Okay. What is your category?

Yeah. I told you. Disease. Disease. There we go. What did you think of that song? I didn't like it. What didn't you like about it?

I just, I didn't like when I had to watch people lip sync it. Yes. And be like tortured. No. How would you have lip sync it? I wouldn't. If you'd like to see Zelda lip sync. No, I just like, no.

I mean, like it's fine. I like the bass. No, no, no, no, I can't. It's just not my diva, okay? Okay. What disease? Heart disease? Heart disease is like the number one most deadly disease in the world.

Which is pretty chic. I think we should narrow it down to the types first. Yeah, what are the types of diseases? So there's like viruses. Viral. Bacterial infections. Bacterial. Fungal infections and parasitic infections.

And then choose a subcategory of one of those. Parasitic. I mean, parasitic's very cool. Yeah. I got something living in. inside me. I can feel it. To bring us back to alien. Sorry.

To bring us back to alien. Yeah. I hated that TV show, but what I did love about it was the parasites that like spurred its eggs into the water that that woman drank. Oh yeah. Oh, yeah. Where else is going? That's just trying to live.

Yeah. It finds a way kind of thing. Yeah. I don't like bugs crawling under my skin. Matt loves that. Oh my God. That's my worst nightmare. Well, I thought you were, would you prefer they crawl in an,

under your skin or you eat them in a sandwich? I would hate both of those things. Yeah, but which one would you like least? Which one I would like what I prefer? Can we do a fuck, marry kill Matt? So scarab beetles under your skin, cicadas that you have to eat, or the bugs in the Amazon River

that when you piss in the river it travels up the piss stream into your urethra. Well, that sounds like a fuck. Hard fuck. it's already in the dick zone. Which one are you marrying? Yeah, I wouldn't want a beetle or a cockroach going up there. Okay.

So. Okay, that's one. Yeah, so we're going to fuck the Amazon River thing. Yep. Yeah. Kill the cockroaches eating them. Okay. So you're going to marry.

Marry. Marry scarletles, yeah. I guess this is the worst situation, but yes. Of the three, yeah. Scarab beetles under the skin is, you can live with that. I do feel like you could just hit them

and crush them beneath them. you your skin. Stop it. Stop it. But then they're crushed and they're rotting in place. Ah well. I don't like that. I had a good run.

The body's like designed to like shovel that shit out. Absorb it. Liquefy and absorb it. Then you're half bug. Mad? I don't want that for you. Zadar. You're not half ice latte milkshake.

True. I mean, I keep trying. After this morning. But she will try. It was a thick shake. Well, thick shake, what flavor? It was like... Fucking hell.

Like cream deletche or whatever. Oh. Yeah. Nulcher deletche. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, what were the options? For thick shakes at the cafe we went to? Chocolate.

Chocolate. Expresso. Espresso. And then that one. Oh. Yeah. And I was going to get espresso. So, but the guy was like, no, no.

I just want to be like, threw himself in front of the train for you. Who did? The guy, he was like, no, no, no. I know you're about to buy this, but I want you to buy something else. Yeah, it's really good. That's quite fabulous. Oh, well, I suppose if you were ordering it, that's what you would get there. Yeah.

I like that some of the disease, like some diseases feel almost like punitive, like, all, like devil, like a myth. Like Alzheimer's doesn't feel like a real disease. It feels like a concept written by someone like, this disease makes you forget everybody. Makes you forget. Yeah, it's a bit of a spell. Yeah, it's a spell and it's got like a weird identity.

Because it is the most horrific disease. Yeah. Because it robs you of your identity. Yeah. It's so scary. Yes. It dissolves who you are. I had an Uber driver yesterday that told me that dementia will be eradicated in 10 years.

Is that true? Oh, I hope he's right. Oh, I'd be so relieved. This, oh, this is on Saturday. It was like 5.20 in the morning. And I'm going to work. And that was the topic of discussion that my Uber driver. He should be on the pod.

Wait, was he hot? No. Zelda. So you have to catch an Uber every time you get up that early. Yeah, because it's before PT. Holy shit. Yeah. How much does that cost?

A lot. It's like $25 every day just to get there. Are you claiming it all on tax? No, you can't. Jeez. So that's $25. So your first hour of work is like... Just to pay off.

Just to pay the Uber. And then... Hidious. Mama. And then the second hour of pay is to pay for whatever new skins come out that week. We can rob rivals. But in the third hour, that's when you start paying a rent.

Oh, right. True. Yeah. By hour eight, we're it. Spinochia. Spindicator off. Yeah. Do you know what is a really satisfying disease?

Athletes foot. A fungal infection. I like that satisfying. Naming and shaming whose fault it is. You know when you like... They developed it. Scratch and scratch and scratch and it feels really good and then you feel absolutely disgusted afterwards.

Yeah. Um, no, I haven't got athlete's foot. You've never got an athlete's foot? What's athlete's foot? It's like a foot fungus. It's like gross between your toes. Yeah, tinia. Oh, I'm familiar with tinia.

I haven't had it, but. You've never had tinia? I don't think. Not even much. I don't think. What? Like my skin peeling off my toes? Yeah.

Yeah, like itchy feet. I've had it probably like 12 times in my life. It's a tinia. Yeah, maybe you're just not going out and like wearing barefoot in a place where you're going to catch it. I just step on bees when I go barefoot. Sorry. You've not listened to the pod and it shows. You know when I stepped on that bee? I'm trying to remember. It was one of my highlights from last year.

I do consume a lot of this podcast and not all of it retains in my brain. No, it's good to sleep too. That's the main thing. Which disease? Gun disease. If you're getting ready for Betty, don't forget to put on the sleep timer. You don't want to miss the whole thing. I did put on the sleep timer last night because Kurchin was sleeping on the couch because he was too sick. What sleep timer?

Like turn off this at this time. You can like set a timer for how long your podcast goes for like 10 minutes, 20 minutes. And I never listened to podcasts, but then will I pull alone? Did you put Dondes to everyone? No, I put on the radio version of. Hitchhackers' Go to the Galaxy, which is a good go-to. The radio play. Yeah.

Oh, it's so relaxing. Lots of yelling and lasers sounds. Well, not laser sounds, Matt. That's not really what happens. What about, like, you know those, like, bodies of water that, like, people go swimming in, and then the parasite, like, wriggles into your brain, and then through the ear canal, and then it eats your brain. Yes.

Is that a disease? I used to think that I wanted to go to the Amazon rainforest a while, and I still do, but it It does seem like a lot. Oh, yeah. Like, I love... You wouldn't go swimming. But you have to go down the river. Yeah.

Because that's the way you travel through the Amazon. Well, you just wade through the water, you think? No, no, no, but you're in a boat, but you're going to get wet. It's going to be some... And then it rains, like, because it's a rainforest. And then the mosquitoes come and the fire ants come. And, oh, it just is so scary. But it's so cool.

Yeah. And the canopy. How much of life in the Amazon is not on the forest floor? but in the canopy above. Dhusband, do you remember that episode of Pluribus where the spikes in the tree live? The bacteria on the spikes? I cannot believe that that's real.

I know. A spike man back. Spiky tree. Do you think it felt good for a moment? No. Like, if it was just the tip, like I'm talking the tip. Matt, I knew you were going to laugh at that.

I didn't say anything. Matt, that is disgusting. Sorry, Zelda, go on. Thank you. If it was just the tip. Oh, Matt, stop. He's gooning and baiting in the other room. We can hear the lotion, Robin.

Shut up. Shut up. Now, you've got no shut up. Two weeks of shut up from Matt. Sorry for interrupting your goon session, man. You give him his dignity. Buy another bottle of Vasenna put it through the vat. Sorry, go on, Zelda.

Sorry, listen to Oh! Yeah, it's dumb. So yeah, you think it felt good for a moment, Zelda. Like, before it felt like he was about to die. Yeah. Yeah. But isn't it always like that?

I kind of wish that I got to, like, have that as, like, a massage therapy. Like, they put, like, the iron spikes into my back just a little bit. And, like, it just, like, releases all of the pressure in my body. Yeah. And then it disappears again. Because I think like, I've been alive for what, 28 years and never once have I felt complete relaxation in all of my muscles. Really? And I really want to know what that feels like.

I think it feels really good. Isn't that every night? Sleeping? Uh-uh. Mm-mm. My body, my muscles are constantly contracting and releasing and just too much. And I just want to know what it feels like to feel absolute bliss. Lactic acid.

Yeah. And I think that spiky tree would be the way to achieve it. And then the bacteria would run away my skin and my oil. organs. Maybe if just go in the ocean, you know that salt water is so good for bacteria and infection. That's true. Except one time when I was 19, me and my friends went to Newcastle and we were swimming in their ocean pools and my friend at like one o'clock in the morning cut her leg in on the side and I was like, oh, he just got my first aid certificate. This is a true story. It's okay. We'll just like wash it with like clean salt water and we'll like dress the wound and stuff.

and we won't go to hospital. And then the next day her entire, like up to her calf had exploded into like, like, like elephant, like foot kind of vibe. Oh, Jesus. The whole thing had just become infected and I, we had to catch a plane. And I just still regret that. And I'm so sorry, Amy, if you're still listening. Wow. Well, it was stupid to listen to my advice.

I was wrong. Gosh, that felt really good to get off my chest and put. I'll get to complete relaxation. I love this. This is helping. We're helping. Cleansing guilt. Do anything else you feel guilty about?

400 hours. Bubble me? The trick is the timing. So recently... Is it like Magneto's bubbles or are they healing bubbles? So I think it is like Magneto's bubbles. You tell me... So the bubbles are on you for like three seconds.

and they absorb an X amount of damage. Yeah. And each amount of damage that you absorb empowers how much damage you can shoot out of your laser beam, like gun. Is it like a strategist role? Like, are you a healer? No, it's a tank.

Oh, it's a tank. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, maybe it is more like to make you do this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you ever play the Invisibles video game on PlayStation 2? The which one? The Invisibles. No.

Okay, so there's a gal violet that you can play as. She rolls around in her bubble. And it's a little bit like that. Yeah. So do you know that Brunswick is now a hotspot for the, it's very serious skin infection caused by the bacterium, mycobacterium ulcerans, which results in a Baruli ulcer,

which our friend Michael Lincoln just had. Baruli, also. And it's like a hotspot. Exposed Michael Lincoln's also. He put it on his public Instagram. Yeah, he put it on his Instagram because he was in the middle of shooting a film And his finger, which had been slightly inflamed, blew up to three to four times its size. Transmitted by mosquitoes after they bite an infected local possum.

Possum? The disease typically begins as a painless, slow-growing sore or lump that doesn't heal. Ring tail or brush-tail? I don't know. It doesn't say, I assume both possum types could carry this. Early medical treatment is critical, and it's Brunswick and, like, a few places in Africa and a few places in South America. America. Incubation period.

It often takes five to nine months for symptoms to appear after initial mosquito bite. I could be infected right now. Absolutely. I have a question. It usually, yeah. How did the possum get it?

I don't know. Yeah. It usually presents as a painless nodule, papuil, or an insect bite like scab on exposed areas of the ankles, lower legs and arms. The scab eventually breaks down creating a slowly enlarging ulcer. No fever.

many bacterial infections, Baruli also generally does not cause fever or other symptom-like systemic flu-like symptoms. Avoid getting bitten by mosquitoes by using repellets containing Diet or Picatin. Remove any stagnant water from your property. Seek care if you do get it. Because you just need to go immediately into antiolyics. Now he has a hole in his finger. A hole in his finger?

That's disgusting. My friend Connor also got that on his foot. who I played pub footy with. Hello, Connor. Brunswick takes another line. Well, don't tell the people about Connors. Connor's of below. Connor.

Tell us the Connor story. He what? He couldn't play football. Oh. Neither can I. That's also what happened to me. I got bitten by mosquito and I am an ulcer. Oh, that's so gross.

We have so many mosquitoes in our bathroom. Do we? Yeah. They're the big leggy kinds that don't bite there. Um. You know the super mosquitoes you think are worse, but they don't actually do. A long leg ones. Yeah, they're giant.

But they don't actually do anything. They breed in our drains. No. They dream in still bodies of water. Like flying daddy long legs? Yeah, but they don't bite. No. They just flop around.

But you know, mosquitoes aren't really interested in me. It's crazy. It's because you have the core body temperature of like an iceberg. It's true. They see me and they just can't see me on their infrared. I genuinely think that it's like, occupational health and safety issue if you were to go camping in winter. Yeah.

Because you'd just... Die. Just cease to exist. And you'd bring us all down with you. Probably. Well, you'd be sleeping next to a giant ice cube. Yes. Oh, my God.

I'd be great. I either really sweaty or really cold. You know? Oh, gosh. Circulation is not my forte. It's good to know your strengths and weaknesses, listeners. You know what the? I circulate well at a party.

I just don't do it with my word. Zelda, have a laugh. I did that one for you. I did that for you. Okay. I think we put in Brunswick Ulsa. Brunswick Ulsa, Brunswick Ulsa, not made its way to Preston. Why?

In South Africa, they're calling it the Bronswick Ulsa? No, I think they call it the South Africa also. They call it the Chalise. I love it. the bunker if like it was just like little hot spots where like if you get bit by oh don't go to the bathrooms you'll get that also yeah correct oh the hback room yeah i agree with that and we already have hordes of mosquitoes yeah so we can take their blood and mask them on our toys yes okay all right brother and we'll be right back we'll be right back we'll be right back and welcome back

Oh, that one really got me. Cut that out. We'll be right. I mean, wait, what? I actually need a break. I'm tired of talking. Okay, I'm back. Hello.

This, listeners, I'm a little bit concerned that earlier, if I had said that you should go put your sleep timer on and you're getting ready for Betty, because you might be driving and about to do a long drive, just like grab a coffee and, like, really. hype yourself up and listen to some like loud music and then listen to this podcast. Sorry, Zada back to you. Do you keep saying Betty? Yes. Why is that happening to me? You don't call it Betty?

No. What do you call it? What are you? Bedder. Ready for Betty? Isn't it fun to say? It's Betty Byes. Yeah.

It's short for Betty Byes. I know food to Betty Bys. Betty Bys. I mean, like there's absurd and playfulness that's undeniably endearing about that. Okay. So, Curjan, what is our final topic for discussion on this day? Our final topic is giant women. Which giant woman gets...

Okay, my choice is Ray Ayanami from the end of Evangelion. Go on. Well, the instrumentality project has been reached, and the planet is undergoing the final impact, of course, and Ray, you know, Ray is also the mother of Shinjiyaka. But the soul of Ui in Ray merges with all souls on the planet as we go under human instrumentality and a gigantic form emerges. It pulls the, oh my God, what is it? They're like, oh, the dark moon out and, you know, they're reburthing humanity.

I never had a toddler tell you a story and you. You have no idea what's going on in their brain, but it's delightful. Yeah. Yeah. I'll send a picture. I think mine is probably Elizabeth Debicki, who's a giant. She's so tall, but swan-like, like a tall swan. Gina Davis is six foot.

That's tall, but not tall, tall, tall. She's so bloody tall. My other favorite giant, I'd have to say Lana Delray in that music, where she's a giant. Sorry, what? You know where she's wandering around. Also, Sydney Sweeney. Yeah, season three of Euphoria.

Peering in through a window, are you watching me to come? And then her tits press up against the glass. Yeah. And smash through the glass. It's pretty good. Yeah. Are you telling me there's ever been anything better than that?

Ray Ayonami. Matt, have you ever seen that episode of Euphoria? No. What does Ray Ayanami do, though? Like, tell me what's one of her catchphrases? Well, she's... Just give me a catchphrase. She's quite mute.

She says, will you get off? Really? When Shinji falls... That's what Sydney said. Well, no, because you know, when Shinji goes to her house to drop off her key card, and then she comes out of the shower, but she doesn't care because she's a robot. And then he tries to leave and falls on top of her accidentally and awkwardly stands there while touching her breast and then she said

will you get off? Was she giant at that point? She what? Giant, not at that point. No, that's when she's just regular size. Yes. So I'd say that's one of her regular size catchphrases. I'm looking for a giant's catchphrase.

I like the wife of the giant in Into the Woods. Yeah, so who goes stomping around, looking for the boy who stole and killed her husband and stole the harp and everything. Green of the Arpies. I haven't seen that. Queen of Harpies. Into the woods.

So into the woods, yes. Into the woods. The first act is famously what you would do if you were a primary school because it gets dark in the second act. Nighttime. Yeah, it's nighttime. There's a narrator through the whole thing who explains what's happening, the storyteller. And he kind of guides us through he or she, but usually are he.

That's the role I'd love to play. Then when Jack goes up the bean store because it's all the different fairy tales. What? I didn't know that. Yeah. It's the bakery, Robin Hood. Hmm.

No Robin Hood. There's Robin Hood there. No, Rubin Hood. Cinderella, Jack and the beanstalk. Merrill Streep. Yeah. And Rapunzel. And anyway, the witch.

Who's kind of the witch from all fairy tales. And Jack steals some of the witch's beans and goes up the beanstalk. And then. when, oh, a little red riding hood. And then... Oh, that's who I was thinking of you. Kills the giant. And then his wife comes down and is looking for the little boy.

And then at the end of the first act, she crushes the narrator to death. And he doesn't come back in the second act. Yeah. And he also kills... The narrator gets crushed? Yeah. And they kill a bunch of the other people as well. Yeah.

That's cool. Like the baker gets killed. Oh, well. Not Helgas. Was he played by, what's his name? James Corden. Yeah, that was good. It was a wild choice.

What about Amazonian women from Futurama? Their giant. Snoo, snoo, snoo. Snoo, death by snoo, snoo, snoo. Yeah, I like that too. I like that kind of giant woman. Giant women. There are three giant women in my orbit right now.

Two are from Silk Song. One is Grandmother Silk, who's the higher being, and kind of the antagonist of the whole thing. Oh. Then there's Scarsinger Carmelita and she's a giant old aunt, which I guess isn't too colossal. But when you fight her in her memory, she's like small. And then the other is Sarah from our Dagger Heart campaign. She is a giant woman.

She's a giant woman. Yes. Who's elder plays. That's my Dagger Heart character, Sarah Oldham. Yes. She's a Qatari with a giant rack. Yes. She has a massive rack and she's seven foot tall with wings.

span just as wide. Glistening golden fur. Eagle feathers. Yeah, it is. And she's got her mother's ring on her necklace. She does. It's so cool. She wields a fabulous halber.

Anyway. So those are the three large women. And then I think there's like some boring normie options like Brianna Tath, who I do love. Gwendolyn Christie. Yeah. She's giant. She's amazing. I like that.

She's six three like Elizabeth Debicki. That's how tall I am. Yeah. Who is this Bickey? Elizabeth DeBickey, the gold woman from Marvel. Oh, I know that one. Yeah. Oh, I like her.

Fabulous. She doesn't seem so tall in those movies. I know, because they put everyone else on Appleboxes. But also she was in, you know, the other one. Tenet. Oh, I thought we're still talking about Gwendolyn and Christy because I was obsessed with her in Severance. With the little sheep her.

Yeah, I like that. Imagine if that was your job. I'd actually love that. that job. Tending sheep in a room. And she had those braids? Yeah. So cool.

I remember that? Yeah, sure. Giant women. What about when there was freaky people in that room? That I didn't enjoy as much. Oh. It's time to snap out of it. Giant women.

Pick one now. Gwendolyn Christie, she's got my vote. Let's do Gwendolyn. And she's looking after the goats at the bunker. Okay, fine. Can she take in the skull of Bickey and crush it? Yes. As her first impression.

Yes. I'm going to allow this. Hang on, there's one more option before we lock her in. And she was raised earlier in the pod, and that's colossal Yoshi. Oh. Not a woman. Yoshies are always boys, aren't they? I thought Yoshi was woman.

I don't think Yoshi can be whatever you wanted to be. The one that birthed the giant egg that chases. Unless it was animatronic. The saints just haven't come back yet. Yes. Hmm. Giant Yoshi. Nah, Gwendolyn's pretty.

Oh my God. Yoshi's gender is official undefined or asexual. However, it's frequently referred to with male pronouns. Oh my God. We're misgendering Yoshi. Proud NB. And what about Berto? Haven't said anything about Berta.

Well, Berto's trans. Yes. But. John's Diva. I respect. Cocksucking a lay. It's true It's going to be cavity

Why? It is Also, Yoshi's Reproduce sexually According to Super Smash Bros. Mili. Pop it out. So that's not

in contention. Ah, yes. Not a giant woman. Gwendolyn Christie, you're in, holding the skull of the ginormous enemy of your

Elizabeth Debicki. DeBickey. And that grind this episode to a satisfying hold. I just want to double check. There's no other fabulous giant women. The diseases that are going in are Brunswick also. She's in. Don't get mosquito bitten.

Gwendolyn Christie with the skull of Elizabeth Debicki in her hands, crushing it into a fine powder. Yes. We made into the Dibiki bread. The Dibiki bread. The Dibiqui bread. The mother terminal And the mother terminal from the original alien film

Yeah Okay I kind of want to say this It's a really good batch And I'm really glad that I got to do it with you both Great episode Ben Curgeoning you get something freebie as well Oh

I haven't prepared anything Put in anything you're like Oh my God Take out anything you're like Why don't you put your bunch of friends in I'm going to put my bunch of friends in Oh my God What the fuck it does happen

What are you mean? They're going to live in the content sharehouse and they're going to create a video every Friday. It's going to be a fabulous adventure and they've got the wheel of making the challenge harder. I hate that. Okay, thank you. Great batch.

Thank you for joining us for the last time, Coaching. Okay. Dead Day, everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Our theme song and music was provided by Ediecentric and Angus Leslie. And talk to us, wouldn't you? Add something to say to us, send it to us at Debtzeverham part of GMO.com. And say something to us as big pipe. com, such to everyone.

And wouldn't you consider support this, please, peterrault. You should definitely jump on the Patreon. It's so worth it. There's so many fabulous stories in there. And for low-wise to buying these girls a coffee. Go do it, besties. They're raging. They're raged quitting.

Goodbye. And with that, we'll rage quit out of the podcast, which we hope you have already. Sleep well.