Death To Everyone - Death To... Anthropomorphic Animals & Celestial Goddess Avatars

Episode Date: September 22, 2026

Tune in to hear what characters are going into our doomsday bunker today!Also grab your tickets to our pop up LIVE show at comedy republic on 1st October 2026 with Minhi Wang! Tickets HEREAnd dont forget to come to our spooktacular Halloween Party on the 31st October 2026Tickets HERELove youFollow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠You can send us a voicemail at ⁠⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠⁠

Hello, listener. Before we kick off today's episode, we are here to remind you. You need to get your tickets now. We've got two incredible events coming up. First up, on October 1st, it's Live! It's a Live pop-up. We're doing it Comedy Republic at 6.30 p.m. You can come and see Zelda Moon, Lazy Susan. And star of Canada's drag race, Minnie Wang, who is coming to town. for one night only and you can come and see us tickets are very reasonably priced and you can enjoy our beautiful

dust and tones then 30 days later on Halloween's Eve on the 31st Saturday All Hallows Eve You can get your tickets to the Brunswick Ballroom Halloween Spooktacular It'll be us, DJs, performers and Jolly good times

Ball of the Damned Get your tickets now, we'll see you there Thank you, bye And now on to the episode And welcome to death to everyone Hip-Harp Hippity-Harp To the hip-hip-hip-hap

My name's Aldermoo And I am lazy Sunday Susan Yes And And this is a show About two celestial goddesses Making decisions

About the future of Your Manatee That's us And God, we're beautiful So tall Oh, it's a burden. And of course we can't record our own voices in this celestial void of space.

We have to get a mere mortal producer Matt. Hello. Hey. How are you? Missed you guys. Oh. Well, this one, yeah, I think this is coming out late, right? It's coming out.

We're recording it live. And it's coming out. Are you going to upload it tonight? Yeah. As soon as we finish this, it's going, strike to the breast. Okay, so we're not going to say anything that needs to be cut. Perfect. Okay, I'm going to kick off with a very important note.

It was my birthday on the 21st of September. That was yesterday. Yes, like Stephen King. Yeah. But I had the most glorious surprise birthday, which is like very sweet. I had really not planned on doing anything special for my birthday. But then my partner, Cajun, my husband, Cajun. Partner.

My partner. had put together with a bunch of other secret squirrel friends, an incredible event where he got people to just do more presentations on their favorite niche topic of understanding. And I really enjoyed myself. However, there was at this event a cake made for me, well, two cakes made by The Incredible,

oft-mentioned, seldom-maligned, Sheridan Skye. Sheridan Skye. Made a cake and also painted me a portrait of my Louis Vuitton speedy knockoff bag, which is incredible. But I have to, what is it, like lay myself down, lay prostrate to the shame that I feel. Because at the end of my birthday when Sheridan was leaving, she said, you know it was my birthday on the 19th and you haven't said anything to me. This woman made me two cakes and I made her nothing. bit sad. Sheridan.

Happy birthday, darling. Happy birthday, Sheridan's again. If it makes you feel any better, and I'm sure it won't, but let's see if we can start healing these wounds. The birthdays that I remember are as follows. My own. And that's only because it's on my license. I do not remember a single other birthday.

I don't remember. But I think it is definitely, it's an issue. I have them in my diaries. They get put in my diaries one by one as I forget them. And then, yeah, I just slowly knock them out. And then if I happen to check my Google calendar during that day, I'll remember. Now, it's not for lack of care. I love the people whose birthdays I forget.

And I'll always make a to-do if I remember. But if I don't, I'm sorry, darling, your shit out of luck. Yeah. Ah, Sheridan's Kay. But I love you Sheridan Sky. Yes. And I'm glad you're still alive. Yes.

To have a birthday. For another year. Sheridan Sky also gave me a gift yesterday. Yes. What of our hell? So, your recall listener, a certain sound effect. From a few weeks ago, we were talking about which Flash game and the incredible Hassy bounce from Neopets was mentioned.

And Sheridan embroidered me a little hussy with a little bouncing donut. Incredible. Yeah. Amazing. It is actually outrageous. She's an artist and a visionary. And she's a year older. Yeah.

And everyone knows that. And she was saying that she and Gab just run around the house and occasionally to each other go. And then the other catchphrase, which is, of course, where you eat poo instead of the donut or whatever. I don't need to hear that. Yeah. So thank you. Yeah.

It's incredible. I hung it up amidst my drag jewelry last night and it looks very cute. I'll take a little photo. Oh. Yeah. You already had time to hang it up. It's crazy. Okay.

What have you been doing? What's happening in your life? Okay, I feel like we haven't recorded a podcast episode for 27 yards. We really haven't. Yeah. I'm a year older since. I haven't done it since. Oh, yeah, that's funny.

I'm checking my diary to see where I've been. Oh, okay. What have I done in the last week? Oh, well, I had a big work conference. Oh, my God. And we stayed it as we off do, stay in a hotel. because everyone from interstate and from New Zealand get to stay in a hotel. And because they're like big long days, like everyone gets to stay in the hotels,

including people who live locally. Yeah. And we stayed in whatever, I kind of didn't recall. Whatever. A hotel in the heart of Melbourne, CBJ. And it was so nice. The room was like perfectly sized. Like it wasn't massive, but it was not small.

Had like good couch with like a chis-long. And like the bed was comfy, both firm and soft pillows that were clearly labeled. So you didn't have to fuck around and find out. But the shower. Oh my God. Good. It was like honestly life changing. It was a room.

It was a showering room. It's hard to go back after you've had such a good time in a shower. It was just like massive, like easily like one, 1.5 meter by 1.5 meter space. Wow. And you step into this room and I had like the, you know, like rain head. Yes. So it's like just fixed to the roof and it just drenches. Yes.

But you, there was no twisting of a fork and hot and cold handle. They were all like push buttons. And there were three buttons. One was like rain from above. One was like jet power from above. And then two, I mean three, was like. Like, there was also a handheld attachment that obviously if you were gay, you would put a douche on. And that was like the third button.

Shower shot, please. Yeah. Oh, sure. And so you've got these three fabulous options. Obviously, I picked all three. And then, like, you're just being exploded on by water from every angle. Wait, and how do you select the temperature? So under that, there's like a dial where you can twist to your desired temp.

That's incredible. Which I didn't need to touch once. Because it was set. It was just set. And whoever was in that shower before me, they knew what was up. Yeah. It was hot, but not too hot. So I stayed in this hotel for two nights and I think I had like seven showers.

And one of them, I just like, I didn't have to sit on the floor. I could like lie down. To cry? No. To just like soak it all in. Oh my God, incredible. It was so good. It is incredible.

It is. unfortunately like that's the only acceptable shower because i'm sick and tired of not having a tub in a hotel room are you kidding me yeah no contemporary hotel rooms have tubs yeah i want a tur yeah i would have if there was an additional tub a tub oh that would have been so good and then you can like put the water in the tub and then put the rain shower on you in the tub yes and then you like sit in the tub and you go all along it was a fever A hot hit gold bonn't believeer, you know. Yeah.

God, that's good. And did you take advantage of your option of being a tourist in your own city and getting some random businessmen to come and dick you down? Nope. I don't even know the girl I'm talking to. No, I'm on my like off grinder era. Oh, that's right. I'm like, she's off.

I thought you might have some like old standbys whose number you have in tech. I do. And I did tell. Well, one of them, like, the recent addition to the cavalcade. A cavalcade of stars. Yeah. But he was. Wait, he?

Yeah. Go on. No, he was, no. Like. What did he say? He was like, no, I don't have, I can't make it. So then it didn't happen. And I was like, look, if it's not.

happening with him, then like, that's it. It's over. And I was, it was great. At so many of these, oh no, so many people I work with this and listen to this. Hello. I'm sometimes often in a rush because I'm like, oh, you know, I've got this other appointment happening. But this time around, there was none of that. I could just like be in the moment. And that was really nice. You know, you're allowed to be up grind up. You're not allowed to become this person. No, it sounds like you had an affair with the shower anyway. Well, yeah, that was my... I've got another appointment.

Like, literally, like, I was... Yeah. Just one more. One more. Yeah. Did you take snacks from a 7-Eleven and up to the boudoir? I did. I took...

Okay, so the catering at my work conference was like, not it. So I was quite hungry. And on the second night, I was like, well, that's... I've actually had it. I'm going to the 7-Eleven. I'm going to just get myself a little snack. So I went to the 7-Eleven. and around the corner and I bought a packet of this was so depressing um but you know like

I'm not like I'm not like I'm going to make a healthy meal I'm in a hotel room with like no facilities so I bought a packet of Doritos and I bought a packet of like chili chips and I got a chocolate milk and what was the other thing I purchased oh the like no chicken sandwich Oh, you're a favorite It's so good And so I got back to the hotel room And I thought, wow, I am not going to eat all of this So

That's not what I'd be saying in my mouth The Doritos kicked around in my bag Until I actually had them last night Would you believe that? And they were all crushed Because they'd gone from like suitcase to bag And then I took them down to the peninsula this weekend I didn't eat them there anyway

Isn't that crazy? It is crazy But they're gone now Anyway Wait, you just snorted them? they there was you know what no they're gone it's over but I had

but I had the sandwich and then I was like Jesus what are we talking about on this show go on go on go on if this is the first episode you've ever listened to it so I had the sandwich and I can't believe I didn't eat the two of us and I know what you're thinking what happened to the chili too

well I ate them after the sandwich Oh, but sometimes the story had a happy ending. Yeah, oh, it gets even better. Oh, go on. So there were crumbs all over the bed. That wasn't so good. But I brushed them. Did you just pour the packet out and then like,

No. And then turn the sheet into a funnel. Just get the last skerick down my gob. Yeah. No. I feel like a normal person relatively. But some are consumed in that gigantic shower, obviously. But what was delightful is that I bought this like Big M and there was no, you know, like, it was because I didn't get a straw, but I knew I didn't want it all, you know, at 10 o'clock at night.

I wanted some in the morning. So I, like, fetched a wine glass from the mini bar and then I, like, drunk the Big M from the wine glass. And it was so bougie and nice. The wine glass was divine, like a real, like, giant goblet and thin glass. Why are you Kevin McAllister being like, I'm an adult? Bring me the chocolate milk. What? It was good.

Anyway, so that's what I did this week. What about your... Oh, that was it? No. That was... No, but, like, you were telling the chicken sandwich story. Well, I ate the sandwich, then I had the chips, and then I finished it off with my chocolate milk. And the highlight of the story was the wine glass.

Yeah. I don't often hold a wine glass. What actually is, what's happening with you in crumbs at the moment? Are you pro-crumbs now? Wow. She's pro-crumbs people. No, no, no. She's been eating toast in the morning. Because she messaged me the other day and said that after I gave her a Ban-Mee the other day, something changed, but I don't know what's changed. What's happened? Well, I really enjoyed it. Something has to be. And then Lazy and I got Barnmey another time semi-recent. And then I tantalized the option again.

We didn't go there. But I've had insane bum me a lot. I've had two bunnies at work since that one that we had, Matt. Wow. Because there's this. It's a real issue. But I'm reflecting in Babs, I'm the issue. Because you're old crumbelina over here.

Everything just crumbles around me. Yeah? Yeah. And often onto the top part of my jumper. Your blouse, please. But, no, we found this like Bunmein place near work and they do this insane salted caramel, like Vietnamese iced coffee. Oh, so getting that and then looking at that delicious, like succulent, like tofu

that's like drizzled with whatever. Yeah. It's like, oh, it's really good. So I'm getting over the crumbs and the shards down my throat and enjoy it. And you're eating toast in the morning. Yeah. Very lightly toasted. It could be considered bread by some.

Oh my God. But it's enough to melt the peanut butter. Like a peanut butter and toast is so good. Yes, welcome to the party. Welcome to the 21st century. I do like one peanut butter and then the other is cottage cheese. Cottage cheese. Cottage cheese with some salt and pepper and some basil.

Maybe a slice of tomato. That's classy. Yeah. Put on like a what kind of bread. Helgis. Is the but Helgis? Yes. Okay.

Yeah. Like a mixed grain. Helgis. I was talking to a friend recently, Haley, and she was like, my breakfast routine is I have banana sliced up over cottage cheese with honey. And I'm like, that is the most geriatric fucking breakfast I've ever heard. That sounds like you're three months away from dying. What do you mean?

She's like, it's actually so good. I'm like, it's not even yogurt. Yoga. You know, I was down on the potential on the weekend because it was my mother's birthday. Happy birthday, Sharon. Yeah. Oh, I should send her a message.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I should actually really like that. She sent me a message for my birthday. Wow. Sheridan, this episode is no longer dedicated to you. Wait, it's my mom's birthday on the 18th. And then Sheridan Sky and then you. That's crazy.

And Michelle Vassage on the 20th. Oh. Didn't send her a message. either. What? I wonder if she noticed. Michelle. It's my birthday today, actually.

Don't. Well, you know what? The 21st is actually the most common birthday in Australia. That's true. The 21st of September? Yeah. The most common. Which is why Jemima Hanfell, same birthday.

Yeah. On a wolf. Someone else. Oh, really? Yeah. Festo. Yes, that was the one. We all had 21st babies.

But they always steal my thunder. Oh, yeah. You don't think you. Anyway, go on What was I saying? Oh yes, the peninsula And on Sunday morning, Anna, my brother's wife Wait, is this going to be a boring story?

Oh yeah Okay, good, go on She made pancakes And we, like, had the option of, like, yogurt or, like, um, ice cream And... Ice cream? Yeah.

For what, just to being a Sunday? What was special? What was the special thing? I was there. Oh. Yeah. Uncle Cain's here. And, you know, like, it was like Star School holidays.

Oh, okay, okay. You know, all right. And maple syrup? There was maple syrup. But I was thinking about, I was, oh, I was thinking about telling the can story, but I often, I reserve my boring stories just for this experience. And so I didn't tell my family about maple syrup in a can. Anyway, but holy shit, the yogurt was so bad.

I'm like, yogurt is just, what? I'm just not into yogurt. Honey, you got to mix it with something. It was like the bougie, like vanilla bean, like blah, blah, fancy yogurt. I was like, no, give me the ice cream. It's never going to compete with ice cream. Yeah. Ice cream with some maple syrup.

Oh, yeah, obviously. It was a delight. And what about this? Anna makes all these pancakes and then, like, has the oven going and, like, sets them aside in the oven. so that when they're served, like everyone gets them all at the same time and they're all hot. How many did she have per person? She allowed two per person and there was three as a buffer. That's good.

Yeah. Three is the right amount. Yeah. Like two, you're full. Yeah. But then the third, a forbidden treat. I was proud. I had two and then I called it quits.

And then what happened? I thought about how much I wanted the third for the entire rest of the day. I'm still thinking about it. It's impossible not to. Because that's what they don't. tell you about discipline. Yeah. Is it it hurts?

Yes. Mm. Anyway, what's happening in your life? What am I doing? Where am I? I went up to W. Tree, to Buckin, to visit my friend Tristan. Backin?

Backin. Bakken. Backen. And I was regaled with incredible stories of small town antics all weekend, which I don't know if you know this, but I love hearing people's petty dramas with women that I'll never meet. and you know just him my friend tristan who's like a country boy from the start but we met it in high school when he was living in melbourne and then he's like since gone back to the deep country

at the foot of the snow mountain river um but the town that he lives in he used to run a cafe in and when he ran the cafe for three years which is like there was there's three businesses in the town there's a pub there's a road roadhouse and there's the cafe. What's a roadhouse? It's like you can buy fuel and potato cakes. Oh. And then there's like a motel and like, you know, like things that you can't, like not businesses you can just walk into.

Yeah. But the cafe he bought opened it up for the first time in three years because the woman before them would just be like, I'm doing three hours this week. Just set random times. You'd show up and then they turned into like obviously did the gay people thing, made it really good. and in the course of that he joined the business association every single thing that he could do to influence

like he was on the committee for the streetscape that was having to spend some of the fire relief money on the streetscape set up the winter festival Christmas windows and you know there was all of this stuff but it was incredible to just hear like over the course of three days which is how long I was in Buckin I just heard like every piece of petty drama that is happening in this town

about how they wanted to turn the old butter factory that they had in town into a distillery. But then of course that fucking bitch, blah blah, blocked it again because she thinks it's going to be something. They're turning the church into a museum for the fossil they found in the cave. What? Of the giant wombat, like marsupial that they only just discovered.

The megafauna? Megaphauna. What? That's it. Amazing. They're doing mural. Actually quite nice. Of what?

Gigantic wombat? Yeah. And the guy who discovered it, because there's a lot of caves up there, Bucking Caves. Oh. a full skeleton of this thing. And then they had to figure out how to remove it.

It's incredible. Anyway, I just enjoyed that. And also knowing that my friend is living off-grid with a bunch of cows and has started doing market stalls and selling crystals. And that's important. What a life. Yeah. Who's his favorite person in town?

There's a woman who is 73 years old. And she rolls. blunts, his largest Cuban cigars. And she just is on every committee as well and, you know,

gets around and they'll just hang out every so often. I'd invite her over, but she'll be here for eight hours because she doesn't just show up. No, that's right. But she would roll a joint for everyone. And then I learned about

how easy it is to get weed in the country. And he's like, we haven't paid for wheat in like three years because people just grow it there. And then you're like, oh, well, you picked up me up milk,

last time you were in town. And so he has a bag of wheat. And they, like, pulled out the bag of weed. And it's, like, one of those giant hefty Ziploc bags filled with weed. Oh, my God. And also I went to the little town canteen. Because obviously W. Tree is, like, so far away. Like, so there's, like, a little, like, converted cottage that all the people who live in the

area have, like, a key code for, and you go in. And it's, like, set up, like, a pretend shop. And you can take whatever you need and write it down. in the ledger that's then paid out at the end of the month. Cute. It's very cute. They have a little like book array and DVDs. And yeah, just all these people for different reasons living off grid up in the high high heels.

Yeah. Just very chic. That is so cute. Yes, yes. But like I really want them to like build a giant colossus out of wood and put it on their property. Yes And they didn't seem to be interested in that And I said, well, why don't you do like a Hollywood sign

On one of these hills that you can see from your house? Ew, okay, let's... Because I think that'd be funny. Wait, you want the Hollywood sign? Either one. No! I don't... I just want a giant sculpture on one of these hills.

But what kind of colossus? Like a giant, like man crawling over a hill. Ah. Well, like, obviously made it a junk. You want monster from Norsica, that sludge creature. I want the iron giant. Yeah. But yeah.

Did you ever play? I'm sorry. They were just not interested in that fantasy. And I'm like, well, you want uninterrupted rolling landscape without some, you know, focal point? Oh. And then I miss out on the opportunity to ride on the quad bike or the tractor. Oh, no. I know.

Oh. But I did get very drunk. Excellent. And that was an incredible time in the countryside. And do you know what? splattered bugs on the windscreen. How long has it been since there's been splattered bugs? Bugs, I thought I was never going to come back.

Yeah. I missed that. Bring it back. Bring it back. I thought they'd all died from insecticide. Did they smear when you did the windscreen to try to brush them on? Oh, you saw today. They're still smeared.

Yeah. Yeah, I did say that. Yeah. Got to go, you know, that's just how it is. They never come off. No. Okay. You have reminded me of a story that I'll now tell.

You already told the things. thing about the chips and the chicken. I know. Somehow, I mean, this could be perceived as also depressing. But, um, so on Sunday, famously beautiful weather, very windy, especially in the evening. I got home on Sunday from being on the peninsula and like Sunday, like, Arvo was like my brief downtime of like, nothing in the plan. So I like, but also had been away.

I had conference and then I was away. and I just had all this stuff to do around the house. So I got home, did all this washing, and reset the house, all this stuff. Then it's like getting into like slightly later evening, like maybe like six. And I had done all the things I needed to do. The house was still relatively open

because it was so hot, but it was windy. Anyway, around this time, I had like some of my little, I had a little gummy. Because I was like, it's my weekend. And then I cooked some pasta. And like I often, like, if I'm going to have a gummy, I like won't cook because I'm not, like, my tolerance is not high because I don't do it very often. And I just like, just don't want to tempt. What if I'm going to like top off my finger when I'm cutting an onion or something?

Oh my God. Like, no, no, like I'm just not like, if I'm going to do that, it's. going to be to just like play video games and watch something silly or like whatever but i was like well it was taken hour to kick in so it'd be fine and so i had it and then i cooked and then i made just like some quick pasta whatever it was like um and so i ate like made a bowl went and ate that in the lounge room and was probably playing Marvel rivals or something and then I'm like on the couch

and like there's been some by this point I've like closed a lot of the windows in fact I thought I'd closed all of them and then I'm on the couch and I've eaten and then the door from the kitchen to the lounge room is like really banging like to the point where I was like Why is that banging so much?

I closed all of the windows. I think that you think once it starts banging, that's enough. Like, why is it banging so much feels like? Well, just because, like, if it does like a little like, like, no, well, that's an annoying sound, but I want to have the windows open because it's stuffy and a hot day. But if it keeps going,

then that's too much. And I want to, like, stop that from happening. Anyway, but it, like, the wind had stopped. closed all the windows but then the banging was still happening and then when I got up to like investigate I had left the fucking stove on. Uh-huh. And the banging got me to get up and because I'd already turned the kitchen light off, I could see the flame under the pot and saw and it had like it probably hadn't been that long but again like the edible had kicked in so it felt like I was like oh my god and like the food was still edible like it was a bit charred. It was actually quite delicious.

But I was like, if the fucking banging didn't happen, the kitchen would have caught on fire. How would it have caught on fire? Well, I don't know. The pastor would have charged to a point where it... The whole kitchen would have been on fire. Jelda. Anyway, my point is, a spirit in that house. Saved you.

Was banging that door and ensured that I went and checked the thing. Like, I... Obviously, that's... All of this is crazy. But I truly... like so genuinely felt like I was just touched protected from above

well clearly your spirit is not working in my house because the other day maybe last month I was fixing I don't know something something in the Dutch oven and like some chili or whatever like just doing some like long

beans yeah and I was like amazing thing, and then I was like, I've got to go. I've got a gig. But I will leave the beans in the pot on the stove so that when Kerching gets home, he can reheat. Yes. And have them with like a whatever.

I went out, did a gig, like, so basically gone all night. Oh. Got home at 11.30. Oh. And I walked in and they had just been on full full bore for seven hours, eight hours. Oh. On the stove. Yeah.

Completely like destroyed, but like no fire or anything. Yeah, yeah. But like the, there's a supreme difference to the way that my sister who will leave the house and then have to come back. Like stop on the Burwood Highway, turn around and come back. Yeah. If she thinks for a second that she's left. the stove on. Yes.

But she never does. But it always assumes that she's left the door unlocked on the stove down. Yeah. I will just leave and come back and go back and go. Oh, that was still on. Turn that off. Oh. So, wait.

I left the stove on overnight. Oh my God. Gone to bed. Yeah. Come back. Oh. You're like, oh. But nothing's ever happened.

Wow. So what? The food was completely cooked. Like black. Not cooked. But like, black with like a very thin layer of still. edible

which we didn't do but yeah but they did come off the bottom of the pot try that top of it oh so was the pot ruined no wow

good quality good quality dutravan yeah but yeah I was just like didn't and even when I saw it

I wasn't like I was just like oh oh my God the panic that went through my body when I saw that flame and I thought

it's been 30 minutes also you know like there was still a good amount of there was another two servings of pastor and pot.

That was the real, the real horror. Yeah. I was very pissed about these beans. Yeah. But yeah, no spirits came to my

rescue at that time. Like, check it out. Damn it. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's fun.

Wow, what good stories we've regaled people with. Why don't we go in to our very first category? But first, Zelda, it's your turn to end the world.

Apocalypse. Okay. No. I haven't thought about it. Okay, can I just quickly say? Yeah. Pam Ann. I don't know if you listen to this.

Pam, man. You know the drag performer Pam Ann? Oh, Pam Ann. Yeah. Yeah. She has really picked up. Her whole Instagram is just AI videos right now of her. What?

Yeah. Pay Man, don't do that. Yeah. Chill out. Oh my God. No one is telling her. It's so funny. the accounts that will have a really intense AI video where the comments will be like

and the ones that'll be like AI Slap. It's literally, I'm going back to try and find where she started and it's literally like unyielding and has been for like, God, since the start of the year, even more. That's crazy. My. Pam. man yeah anyway sorry go on okay okay um okay oh no i really haven't thought about this one um so i'm gonna look around the room and i'm going to pick three things and i'm going to put them into an apocalypse see that's

creative thank you um first we have a ladder so that's number one then we have the monstera with like the fenestrations so that's number two that could be like a noose or something um and then then what um okay then red line lighting. Okay, so here we go. It's sunset. That's the red lighting reference. That's good. Catch it. It's sunset. And okay, what about this? Everyone's fucking obsessed with indoor plants. I'm plant gay, etc. Also, side note, do you think a straight man would ever say plant dad on their Instagram profile? Yeah, I think it's theirs now. You do? I think it's theirs now.

I think it's what they do. Fuck me. Okay. There's this straight guy at work that I'm obsessed with and his Instagram says, Plant Dad, and I was hoping it meant that he was gay, but I don't think he's gay.

Anyway. So, okay, so everyone's like Plant Dad and have these, like, giant Monsteras growing in their, like, lounge for their Instagram content. But this is, like, everyone. It's really, like, taken over. Yeah. And so it's sunset.

low line and everyone's on their little step ladder to get up to like everyone everyone are they seized with the feeling they need to get up or is it just they're always up what they're always on the step ladders yeah because they're getting up watering all the time to like well they're trying to like they're doing some like rigory on like the the guiding post of the monster everyone at the same time correct seven billion people yeah monsters what about the people without homes lazy they could still have a ladder could you just ride with me on this one

if you don't have a home doesn't mean you can't own a ladder lazy yeah well sometimes people don't own either Matt well most people own one on the other everyone's on their ladder tying up their monster at sunset and in such slow lighting they've taken a fall off the ladder

she's had a fall and they're dead now You know, this used to be a show. This used to be a show where we told stories and had fun. Would you, okay, what about this? Everyone's on work conference. And they starve to death? Yes.

Because no one is sorting out the fucking catering. Correct. Yeah, I'll allow that. All right. It's a conference about Monsteros in the house. At sunset. At sunset. And that are ownership.

That's the conference next door. To rest to every world Hello. Hello. And welcome back. Is it me? You're looking for to seeing this spring.

Hello. Okay. So, listener, we are edging. Well, you know what? We've reached the edge. We're out of speakhole. But today is another speakhole episode. But this will be the last one unless you start speaking up.

Speaking into that hole. Now, this message comes from Tracy Bean. Do we think that's Tracy's real name? I hope so. You deserve it. Tracy Bean? Mr. Bean's sister. I keep accidentally... Sorry, you go.

What is Mr. Bean's first name? Mr. Ah. It's Mr. Bean an alien? Bean. Sorry You heard me I liked

I know we've discussed this before But I like to think that he's an angel Yeah that's good Like at the start You know how he comes down in that bulk of light And there's that holy choir Yeah And like what if he's not an alien

But he's an angel And angels are just so like Divorced from Understanding humanity That they come down And they're just like these kind of simple creatures. Yes. I love how selfish Mr. Bean is.

He's just like ruining people's lives. And I think that's good. Oh, I don't know. Just quickly, do you have any thoughts on Ed Sheeran and Macalamore? Oh. God, a maelstrom of things. Jesus. Number one.

Yeah. Don't, it's like, pick up the phone. Don't pick up. I don't think that you should have Macklemore on your tour to begin with. But if you're Ed Sheeran, I think that like, you know, if you're eating a shit sandwich and you're chasing it with a cold shit in a class, it's not going to really change the fact you're still eating shit.

But once you've decided to have Macklemore on your tour, don't take Macklemore off your tour, you're fool. If only so we can know where you both. at any given time. Yeah. To avoid it. Like the way. What a treat?

Yeah. We put you all in a room. What if something happened? No. But it's just so amazing. I'm so impressed by the world for like really writing insurance awesome being such a fucking piece of shit. Yeah.

Because imagine. Imagine. Yeah. Because he didn't like, MacLamore's original statement at those concerts was so. so, like, so non-controversial. Yeah. It was like, free Palestine. If you're Jewish, it doesn't mean that you're a Zionist.

It doesn't mean that you're part of this genocide. So there was like all the perfect kind of diplomatic ways to make it less controversial to say, which it shouldn't have to be. And it shouldn't have to be couched in that language. But it was. and still these fucking piece of shit venue owners were like, get him out, get him out. And Ed Sheeran was like, well, the upper management decided that Ed Sheeran, like, tour, like, wasn't going to have McLemore anymore. Yeah.

And like, honey, your name is on the poster. Your name, your face is, if you said you're not going to sing unless McLemore gets to come, they have to listen to you. Yes. Because that's how it fucking works. No, they spent a week talking about it. They spent a week talking. A whole week.

He retired. It was just like, girl, you needed to fucking, this was your time. And you needed to work it out. Yeah. And you missed your moment. Yeah. And I hope that we all remember this because it's common. And have you, yeah, so then Maclemore's off tour.

Then everyone else pulls out. Incredible. So incredible. And TBAH, like, I don't know any of these people, but like, Maclemore. No. What's that? The older brother of Billy Aleish. What?

Yeah. Huh. What's like a song? Wait, are they a song stressed? He produces all her music. Oh, okay. And then he has his own tracks that kind of sound like Billy Anish, but with an annoying man. Oh, okay.

So, like, again, I don't know, whatever. But, like, McLemore seems like he could take the financial hit of saying bye. Yeah. But for some of those other ones who I, like, really don't know, that feels like a bit more of a, like, gamble. And they were all Irish. Yeah, right. Yeah. So, like, that is so country.

Yeah. And such, like, an actual, well, you know, like. That's a stance. Yeah. And you're leaving behind, you know, another couple of months of work. Yes. Not easy. No.

So that is really cunty And then for that to not change anything It's like, well And then, I mean, it's only been I think the first concert was two days ago now But have you seen like Ed's little like speeches? Oh yeah Like at the start and then at the end of the concert

Yeah Sorry, you don't get to do those speeches It's like so bizarre That like clothes like the first one is like Okay, well wait a it's like you don't need to make a statement because you've already made a statement your actions of the statement correct the fact that you're out on this stage the fact that you're taking the money the fact that you're doing everything the fact that you

kowtowed to this guy who said that he wouldn't like yeah like huh yeah and like it is this thing where I don't doubt that there is uh like there is massive amounts of money tied up in this tour that would leave him, you know, liable to pay millions of dollars if he did make the decision. But I think that if the venue owner is telling you, you've violated some sort of, like, I don't know, decency clause, then you need to take him to court. Yeah. And force him to say out loud that what McLemort said was controversial and indecent. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because there's just no way you can prove that. Yeah. And if, like, the financial damage or the reputation damage, like, I just don't think would exist in that play of events. Because the, hopefully, majority would be behind you. And it would make people go like, like, someone like me who's like, I've never thought about Etcher in a day of my life. Be like, oh, at least he stands for something. And I support that. And I so, yeah.

but no no to hope that it will kind of like disappear and then it not disappear yeah it's such a colossal thing just so i mean like obviously then we lost pink in this fray and pink is yeah you know what you get to take that one wow because what a fucking dip shit yes it just an incredible oh and i was um watching a video talking about Pink and her kind of general history and that sort of stuff. And because she's, you know, like my impression of Pink was always that she was someone who was like kind of pop rock progressive. So like called out George Bush about the war in Iraq, but like by the point that it wasn't really a controversial thing to say. But like was standing there and saying like this is so fucked up.

And then, like, has always been very pro-L-B-TQA plus and blah, blah. But then the full propaganda bullshit that she was spilling about how what Macklemore was saying was somehow anti-Semitic is just so wild. And then kind of couched in this idea that she, pink, felt unsafe. to be walking around, you know, as a Jewish woman in America as like a millionaire. And it's like, oh, your safety, because it's about you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because saying free Palestine, when, like, if you open your phone and, like, look at how these children are living. Yes.

Or just any of these people who are living in Gaza are living, watching entire communities decimated. Yes. And we need to worry that you had like an inkling of feeling unsafe. Yeah. I'm sorry. That's not how our empathy is not extending to you today, darling. No. And we know that if anything bad was to happen to you, you could just fly away.

Just dwell towards freedom. Dwelling. Rotating up and away. That's right. Yes. Pink away. Yes. God damn it.

Yeah, it's just, God damn. And I think it is made people be like, Well, we were too harsh on Macklemore. Yes. And we need to remember that he is still hot. Yeah. That is the key thing to come out of it is like kind of a smoke show. Yeah.

And yeah, like I've never. And I mean, I can't bring myself to fully support that insane man. Like that gay song is just like too much for me. I can't change. Even if I try. Even if I want. When I was in the third grade, I thought I was gay. God, fucking kill myself.

Like, I cannot forgive. I cannot forget. But it is like, there's a point for you, Maclemorest. Oh, yeah. You know what? Maybe two points. Two points to you. Two point.

Matt, you're a musician. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. But you're a musician. Do you have anything, do you have any insight? Look, I really respect it when someone chooses their morals over their money. That's all I've got to say.

Yeah. I think, yeah, it's really good. But agree with everything you said, basically. Macalamoree. Oh. Pryngearella. Yep. Who will be next?

We don't know. You know what? I hope she's not problematic. She seems like a bit of hard work these days. But Fam K. Janssen, if you look at her face in that original ex-I mean, all of those X-Men movies, but like the OG X-Men film, she is like from another planet. She's so beautiful. And what is this got to do with?

well I'm just saying I hope she's not the next one to be cancelled oh you're just we're just talking about beautiful women and hoping they're not the ones yes I think because that would be so upsetting you just really wanted to pivot to like the eyebrows are just so what do you think about the reports that she's yeah bad at meet and greets well that's what I that's what I said there are some issues there

but I don't like yeah there was a woman on line the other day saying never meet your heroes I just ran into Natasha Leon in a bath and she was so rude to me. I'm like, okay, let's just check the facts. Why the fuck were you talking to Natasha Leon in a bathroom? Don't do that. Are you crazy?

Don't do that to anyone. The bathroom is a stum space. You don't talk to your friend in those spaces. Stom. Keep it to a dull raw. Okay. You know what I mean? I'm just going to get a photo of Femkeh to send you because...

Okay, so let's play this speaker. How beautiful she is. is Tracy Bean. It's coming right on. Oh, that's right. Tracy. Here she is. Hello.

My name is Tracy Bean, long time listener and first time speaking into the speakhole. Greetings and salutations to goddess's lazy and Zelda. And of course, space car driver Matt. Now, I would first like to share an anecdote before asking a question of you both about why I cannot listen to the podcast on the bus anymore. Now, I was listening to last week's episode where Lazy had transformed into Rob from the celebrity block. And it made me cackle so loud, which normally would have been embarrassing enough. However, I laughed and made eye contact with an older retunned gentleman who had just gotten onto the bus wearing a rainbow poncho. And I do think that he thought I was laughing at him.

and I didn't have the time or the heart to start explaining to him about Robin. I'm not laughing at your disgusting poncho. Anywho, my question for you goddesses is, which anthropomorphic animal gets into the bunker and which one is not in the bunker? Not in the bunker. I cannot wait to find out. What does anthropomorphic mean? They're like, have human qualities.

Yeah. Like they talk or walk on their hind legs. Like iced tea in Tenko. Or Beverly Hills Chihuahua in Beverly Hills Chihuahua. But you got to give it to, it's like giving human traits to animals. Yeah. Yeah. Aslan.

Yes. Has scales in the new Greta Gowig. Nanya. Scales. He's got scales. Have you seen the picture? No. Not he.

Oh, the woke. Meryl. What? Merrill's playing Aslan. Merrill Street. Have you heard of her? Yes. From Steele Magnolius.

Yes. Wait, isn't Aslan the Lion? Yeah. Cool. Lots of people are very up in arms. People are up in arms, but the picture they released of Aslan. Oh, look it up. Has, you know, he's got a mix of all the...

Sorry. Jokes, I've picked up my phone only to look at Famkei Jansson again. And I see that I've sent it, and neither of you have opened the chat to see the... We're not looking at that. Are you also watching me? on my phone because I'm never getting a phone again. Aslan movie character.

Merrill. Listen, he's good. Cat dog. I guess they're anthropomorphies, but I guess not the same. Look at this example. Anthropomorphism, the interpretation of non-human things

or events in terms of human characteristics as when one senses malice in a computer. Oh. Oh, right. Yes. No, I was gasping or something else.

What were you saying? I have thought of my choice. Sorry, Matt, I am listening. Like in the witchy girls. Witch and witchy girls. Wait, what animal did be anthropomorphize in the witch? The computer. No, the computer is.

Oh, yes. Projection. Or like, fairies. Ferries abound. That Zootopia movie? Yeah, and that new forgotten island movie where that dog is being embraced by the furry community. People want to fuck. Speaking of.

wanting to fuck anthropomorphize animals. Ew, look at this scary. I'm sorry you say. The fantastic Mr. Fox. He's so fantastic. And hot. He's so hot. All of those little dudes were hot.

Yeah. Look at this scary thing. Oh, Robin Hood. That's scary. Um, okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

KKK. Today. After the controversy from Converse. Okay. What? Converse? No, don't worry. It's such a, yeah.

So. Mr. Badger. Aw. Mr. Toes' Wild Ride. No, no, no. Although, no, no, no, that story's too long. Everyone in that, like, live show at the Botanic Gardens was a fucking babe when I went to see that show. What?

Like, Wind in the Willems. Wind in the Willems. Yeah. Because you know how they do the live show for kids at the Botanic Gardens? No. But I love that you brought that up. When did you go and see that? Like maybe two years ago? With like my, wait, what?

You go. Oh, have I told this story? No, I'm just laughing that you went to a kid's show. Yeah, well, with my nephews and niece. Oh, okay. What are you, a peto? Fucking hell. And it was so cute.

And they're like, you know, like the Toad character like, you know, wheels, rose over in his boat on the little lake and stuff. It's so cute. Yeah. But on the actual lake? Yeah. I like that. So cute.

But yeah, they were all, you know, like circus freak, you know, like live theater kids. Yeah. Like not kids. They were all adults. But some of them were really, really hot. And wearing, you know, like jobpers or whatever. Oh, that's very cute. Old-timey clothes.

Yeah. Anyway, my pick. My pick. So in Final Fantasy 12. Oh. There is a character, a Vieira, and her name is Fran, and she carried that game. It is classically one of the... Okay, like it is one of the worst Final Fantasy's objectively.

The story is long and boring. There's little, like, it's kind of like a lot of political drama, and it's not very well explained, and you're kind of just like traversing from location to location. The gameplay is really fun. The gambit system. You know what I'm talking about. But none of that matters because Fran is in the game. And Fran, I'm just going to send you a photo of Fran. And I'd like you to kind of imagine Femke Jansom playing Fran in the bunker. Is this just a trick to get me to open that chat to look at Femke Jensen? Yes. But Fran is so hot. I love her. Wait, what kind of animal is she? She's a Vieira.

which is like a bunny woman. Oh. Bunny woman. Like, what is it? Officer Hopps. Oh. Hops? Judy Hops.

Oh, yes, I know what you say. Yes. Yeah. I like that movie. That was fun. Oh, Hidotopia. When I, like, eventually go to the gym or whatever, this is like the cosplay that I want to do. I want to be fran.

Have a high tight ass. Oh. Yeah. I like that Charlotte. Charlotte's web. In her web. See, for me, anthropomorphize means, like, on two legs,

like it's the human version of the animal. And Charlotte's not that. No, she's just a talking spider. She's just a talking spider. But go on. I like Charlotte, too. I just, I love what she did for that pig. Uh-huh.

So kind. Yeah. Wait, what does she do for the peak? She made sure that, so Wilbur was going to get killed by the farmer. Uh-huh. Because he was getting of age. Oh, yeah.

Where he was going to be, you know, a nice Christmas supper. Oh, see. And then the spider web above Wilbur's pen said in English, some pig. And people were like, wow, the pig's incredible, not the spider. So crazy. But everyone came from all around town to see the spider web and to see the incredible pig. And she saved his life. I see.

So when she dies at the end of the novel, you're like, she gave so that you could all live. Yeah. Like Aslan. But a spider. Wait, why do people care that Meryl Streep is Aslan? Because it's typically considered a man. No, it's because they're Christians. They think it's God.

Yeah, well, he's also... What? C.S. Lewis was a really avowed Christian. I see. And the whole story of... Narnia was like meant to be like a parable. Oh, with elements of Jesus and.

So very opposite of golden compass then. Yes. Well, because he was, him and J.R.R. Tolkien were both very strong Christians that were good friends with each other. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they wove their kind of, but C.S. Lewis was very into using it as a way of kind of teaching

Christian morality through his work. Wait, so is Aslan going to be like a lioness instead of a lion with like big men? Well, Matt, you're insisting that she's going to play a woman, but I think she could play the man. Ah, maybe. Man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man, man. Like, why not? Maslan.

She's done it before. She'll do it again. Play a man. Yeah. Who, what man? Oh, Merrill played a man. Okay. Well, anyway, if you'll look at this photo of Fran.

I'm looking. She seems to just be a woman with ears. Yeah. She's the answer for Morphys rabbit. No, I don't think that's right. I think it's human characteristics on an animal, not necessarily. She played an elderly rabbi in Angels in America. Fran, this rabbit woman?

Also, my name's Fran. What a great non-fantasy name. I'm just going to put a picture of Mary of the rabbi. Playing the elderly rabbi in the chat. And of course we'll make sure that this all ends up. Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, God.

They really went too hard with the hair's prosthetics. Loading. There's too much hair. Wow. How would you describe Merrill's expression here under layers of prosthetic makeup? Quisical. She's kind of cheeky. Yes, she's a bit cheeky older.

She doesn't think she's having a good time. She looks like she's having a best. from her eyebrows that joined together with her fringe. I would love a whole, like, reverse cast version of 12 Angry Men, but with, like, iconic, like, Glenn Close and Merrill and everyone in, like, reverse prosthetics to play elderly men. Mm. Because I would love that. Okay.

Mm. Mm. Um. Oh, sorry. Oh. So where are dogs walking and talking? Yeah. obviously Zootopia.

I do like that Zootopia Fox as well. Yeah. Played by what's his name? Michael, Bluth. Oh, I feel like that Fox was underutilized in Zootopia, too. What happens in Zootopia 2? Um, oh no. Shakira sings a song.

And they go on a journey. No, I don't remember. Wow. I don't remember. You're like everything was underutilized, including my hippocampus. Oh, oh. Me and Kudgeon last night discovered, and it might be our first dance that I'm winning, impersonating the dancing dog. While you dance with each other and just standing upright and backing around.

Wait, you're watching that video? No, we were doing it live as a type of dance. But imagine if it was like, you may now watch the first dance of the groom and groom, and we just backing around pretending to be dogs on our high legs. Oh, that's good. I do think like things like Napoleon and Milo and Otis were very, like, icon. Oh, Milo and Otis. It's so cute.

Yeah, just throwing cats and rivets and filming it. Homeward bound Yes Where has that all gone? That was a really one It's one I loved called Paulie Yeah with the bird It was a little bird that could talk

A parrot that could talk Had the guy from monk in it Oh Tony Shalub Yeah And Oh my God Of course Dunstan checks in

But he's not really anthropomorphised He's just a monkey Well he's an ape Stuart Little Well we talked about Stuart He's important See that's an antheropomorphic Anthropomorphic animal

What about Crash Bandi Coot Yes He's having fun Ratchett and Clank Banjo and Kazooi Banjo and Kazooey What the fuck

Wait you'd have to pick one though Um Hey Hey Is that one of them? Yeah. Thank you. And what about when you're on Kazui's like legs?

Yeah. Yes. That's, hey, okay, now do your banjo. You would do banjo so well. Is that him? Is that him? Not quite. How does he do?

Yeah, this element there. Wait, that's grunty. Okay, well, I was just trying things. Oh, I love Banjo Cazooey. I would repro that. Yeah. Oh, this is just people playing banjo. These are all just furries.

Oh, what about the Donkey Kong's? Candy Kong. Have we done which Donkey Kong character? Do, do, do, do, ding. How to make a banjo-cazui-style voiceover. First, just record the line. you want to use. Bandra Kazoo-Kazui is my favorite video game.

I don't like it. Ooh. Woo. You've heard that one before. My popular demand weird tongue. Okay, okay, okay, okay. He's wearing pants. I mean, banjo can get it.

Yeah, we do know a lot of men that look like banjo. Yes. banjo is so hot and kazui is so sassy um actually no like kazoo is not sassy she's just rude yeah she is rude and that's good oh i'm not listening a lot of people cosplaying as banjo but their kazooie is just a puppet be brave put your girlfriend on your back yeah oh this guy did okay now who's your favorite out of banjo in kazooie i actually don't think i've ever seen this And you're looking at it now, I presume. Yeah.

To your delight? It's really not bringing back any memories. Well, you didn't have... Fun. You didn't have any of this. I didn't have a brain. I mean, I'm open to that. Banjo-Kazoo-e?

Yeah, great. Let's do it. All right, log it in. And we'll be right back. Hello. Hello. And welcome back. Now, our next and final speech,

big hole for the day is from Jolie. Jolie. For some reason, there's two Jolies. We've got like a part one and a part two. What'd you say Jolie? Jolie. Too soon. Oh, so.

So, Matt, if you could play the first one, and then in quick succession, the second one. Loading. I did notice that the second Jolie was five seconds long. Loading. So they must have just forgotten to say, bye. Maybe.

Better. Do everyone Is that your favorite? Bonjour. Okay, so my thing this week is I've made up some little names for you, for your little friends. So I've got snoozing Susan,

which I imagine is the same amount of Susan, but is double the lazy. She's snoozing. And I've also got a, Zelda barge, which is maybe like Zelda and Crystal Method's love child. So she's the size of a large barge, like a large woman who'll smother you with her thighs, like the Queen of Sheba in American Gods, the legendary Queen of Sheba from American Gods. Love her.

So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, my question is, which celestial goddess avatar is getting in the bunker? La la la la la love. Here's part two I imagine you've just said my name wrong It's pronounced Joelle Oh Thanks Joelie

Joe Ellie Joe Ellie Joe Ellie Joe Ellie Joe Ellie Joe Ellie Um We did

Sorry about that It was a trap Yeah What if we've gotten it right Spell it right next time Tell your parents Joe Ellie Oh such a deep voice

Yeah A commanding voice. And such a great, having a great time by himself. I know. Is he in a hotel room at conference? Because it doesn't get much better than that. He would do a great banjo. He would.

I can tell. Oh, you could be his kazooie. Yeah. Yeah. Come on, Joelly. Ride my back. We'll run real fast. All right.

Okay, so our avatar, I mean, when we go to Earth and appear as mere mortals. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, oh, I was thinking of, you know, like, that the first sculpture of that woman. Sorry? That, like, chubby totem of that woman's shape. Buddha? No. Who?

You know, like, woman. And it's, like, the first carving. Yeah. Oh, no, but gone. We've got it in the bunker. Yeah. If you think I know what's in this bunker at this point, I'm using it as, like, garage storage. That is where what my brain went to, like, like.

the physical, like a totem or something. Does anyone have that experience where you've been cleaning? Yeah. Yes. That's it. Yeah. No. When you've been cleaning and like, so I reorganized my craft cupboard.

You? Sorry. You get two more of those. All right. Two more. And I took all the containers out and then sorted everything. Oh, you? Enjoy this next one because that's it.

And then I. labeled them. You didn't, we're not rationing for that. And then put labels on what's in there. Labels like trinketry. Mosaic.

Hot glue. Regular glue. Paint. Brushes. Miniature supplies. But then I had taken everything out. It was like and like things that were obviously

rubbish thrown away. Things that were obviously precious and needed. to go somewhere in the filing. And then by the end of it, you know those old I spy books. It was like that, but of objects in front of me

that just defied organization. Oh, category. Yeah. And the major clean would have taken like five hours. But this last part must have been two hours.

Despite the fact that it was like a fraction of the amount of things, but they were just like, I was staring at it being like, what? Where does that? that go? Like there needs to be a whole different set of, like, storage for this.

But then I'll just have one container with, like, a tiny little 3-print of a drag queen. Yeah. And then, like, do I need these beads? Do I, where do the beads go? Yeah. And then, like, this paper, it's printed on one side, but I will use it. But where will I put it? Yeah.

You know, and so I just stare at it for so long and I have to take a break. get back up and look at the pile and be like take one thing away kind of move the pile around the table you know it reminds me of like after 9-11 they took everything to like this like on a barge to sort through to find

wait a giant woman to find the remains oh oh and so they would just sort through it over the years took years wait what oh they took away like all the rubble the rubble and just sorted through

everything oh my god Every single piece of rubble was then sorted in Fresh Kill, New Jersey. Whoa. Yeah. Forever don'ts. Jesus. Yeah, wallets, human remains. They, like, even two weeks ago, as I said in the previous episode,

every so often I fall down a rabbit hole for 9-11, usually around 9-11. And this year was no different because I thought I'd gotten away with it. We got past 9, like, September 11th. I was like, ah, no, didn't get me this year. Two days later, I'm like, Oh, my God. Tell me something new. Yeah.

Oh, and there was new stuff. Yeah, yeah. Oh, my hell. Yeah. Oh, crazy. Crazy. It's so scary. Yeah.

It really is so traumatizing. Do you know kids nowadays who were born after 9-11? Yeah. Don't understand what it is. They're like, did they change the emergency phone number because of what happened? they changed 911 to 9-11, like to 911 in America because of 9-11. There are kids that thought that it happened at 9-11 in the morning. There are kids that thought it happened between the 9th and the 11th.

There were people that, like, just like crazy things that people just don't understand. And you know what's really sad about that? A conversation could just snip those rumors right off before they even land. Apparently the kids had heard that they changed the emergency number to 9-11 from their teacher. Which kids? These American kids in their American school. What are telling me their names? Greg, I assume, Abernathy, it's got to be one.

Yeah, Tanner. No. Oh, no. Grade eight. Can I tell you this? Wait. Yeah. Do you ever get like that when you're trying to sort the last little bits?

Yes, absolutely. A thousand percent, yes. It's so annoying. You've been cleaning all day. It's like, now we're in the early evening and you're like, I want to wind down. Yeah. But there's this like random grouping of things that defy organization. And the whole point of organizing was to get, like, not everything can be misk.

No. But then you're left with misk. The misk is so evil. And like, you can't just accept miss. Well, you can't throw it away. Oh no, God no. Imagine throwing it away and you're like, well, now, like, it's six months later. Why did I throw away that completely out of charge button that you can record memos onto?

Yeah. You can't because then you need it for something. need it. Yeah. And you just think about how much you spent on it. Yeah. Oh my. Sometimes you just put on display.

Yeah. Well, yes. And you're like, that can go out. Yeah. You're like, why? Because it's precious? No, because I didn't want to sort it. Yeah.

And now it's treasured. And can start a conversation. Yes. My niece went to a friend from school's birthday party on the weekend. Brave. I saw the invite on the fridge while I was waiting for the pancakes to be put. together. And the kid's name was Tanner. Tanner. What is a six-year-old Tanner doing in Australia? That is so weird. Tanner. Maybe he's an immigrant. What? To my understanding, that name exists

exclusively for porn stars who were on Sean Cody. Like, what? And his parents worked very hard for Sean. Um, yeah, wow. Tanner. But I don't know. But I don't know. there's lots of weird shit happening in kids naming conventions at the moment we need to do away how can you ascertain whether your nieces and nephews are cool at school or do you think how long does it take to realize whether they're cue or lame i need i need to be present for like a birthday party or something to like see who they associate with the dynamics yeah i can confirm having spent a recent time and first meeting your niece yes who is like i can confirm that woman is the most popular girl in her class.

She will be cool. She is so cool. I saw, she's, how old? Six. Six. So this gal rocks up to the recital center where they're putting on the school concert. Yeah.

She's not in the show. But yes, she is the show. Oh, yeah. And this other diva rocks up, her age, her height at least. Yeah. And she's like, and she's like, look at my purse.

Yeah. And your niece is like, I love the purse. Amazing. And then they both look in the purse. And then she like sends her on her way. And then she says hi to like five of the people. She knew everyone.

I didn't know any one of that recital. Yeah. She knew like five people. Yeah. And they showed her the inside of their purses. Uh-huh. It's the nephews I'm worried about. Yeah.

You can't tell with men whether they're popular or not. No. And also the things that make a man popular are not things that I consider worthy of such things. Like straight boys were popular. for such weird things. Yes. Like, who will eat dog shit off the ground? Yeah.

Or, like, who can do that, like, flipping over the eyelid thing? Immediately cool. Yeah. For, like, no discernible reason. Yeah. So which avatar of a celestial goddess goes to the bunker? Well, I was reminded of a digital avatar. Oh.

Last night. Back on the days of Amazon Messenger, there was a woman that you could send as, like, a rumble. Yeah. And she's a laughing woman on her back, kicking her little heels in the air, going, Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Wait what? And I fear that that might be the avatar of me.

MSN. Laughing woman. Laughing. Lady Gifts. She's just laughing. Ew. Ew. Play her sound.

Ew. I don't know this. You don't know this? Ew. She's just, she's obscene. She's foul. Oh. Oh.

Hey, winks. Wait. That's her. We're getting her again. Did you like that? She's hideous. She's great. She's in the bunker.

Yeah, so fucked. Oh, Mama. She's fucked. Why were we sending that to each other? That's so cruel. That is a pitch we reserve for, like, psychopaths. laughing woman. MSN wink.

Yeah, it was like an animation wink. Huh. Yeah, that's good. Winky, winkie, winkie. All right. Matt, pop her in. I have no rebuttal for that. Nothing could top it.

Or a title for my rebuttal. Oh, my God. Have you been following the fucking... The trial has just begun for that cop that killed the gays. You haven't seen this at all? What? Bo Lamar.

No. You didn't hear about this in Sydney last year? No. No? Oh my God. It's chilling. Oh, wait, no, the... The gay cop.

Yes, yes, it's yes. And, yeah, he killed Jesse Baird and Luke Davies. And he... So the cop had had like a relationship with one of the guys. Yes. and then they had not pursued it and then he became obsessed with him started stalking him, started like

da-da-da-da-da-da and then got a gun from work where they give out guns and don't seem to check whether they've all come back in at the end of the day went into his house that he'd already broken into earlier that month with his gun shot and killed him

found out the new boyfriend was there shot him through a door Oh When a Like hid their bodies out in the back The housemates came home Oh He'd cleaned up the house

And gotten rid of the damaged furniture The housemates went to bed He came back the next day And got the bodies Put them in surf bags Went out to the Sydney Countryside Tried to bury them in a dam

Sing them to the bottom of a dam Yeah They didn't sink Oh He went and bought some weights From Kmart or whatever Oh came back, then took them, put them in a shallow grave,

then went into the police and confessed. Wow. Yeah. And then his mother, who was also a former cop, was arrested because she was trying to interfere with a witness. And, like, trying to, you know, stand in the way of justice or whatever. And she's now in jail. Wow.

What the fuck? Jeez. And the worst part is, when you see the men, so the two men that were killed, very, like, hot men, like Sydney gay men. Yeah, yeah.

And then the cop guy, the way that the cops have pushed the narrative first was to be like, his ex-boyfriend, this was like a lover's quarrel, and then all the gays were like, they were never dating. They were just a situation ship. Yeah.

And if you have gay vision on, you're like, I know exactly what this was. That, like, sorry, this is rude. Obviously, it's more serious than that. That six and that nine would never have been in a relationship in Sydney. Are you kidding? And that's completely why he became obsessed with him because they were hooking up because he had the, like, mystique of being like a hot, like, quote unquote, hot cop, like mask guy. Yeah.

And then, but wasn't like, would never date him full time. And then it all broke down and he was crazy. But it's funny that you're like seeing that dynamic play out on the news and you're like, the only way that they can push this narrative is if it's like an ex-boyfriend, where it's like, no, no, no. Yeah. He was a casual hookup guy. Yeah, yeah.

Crazy. Wow. So wait, it's in court now? Just started. Okay. But like what's, but if he, went to the cops and confessed. He was trying to get manslaughter.

Oh. Something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, and they're trying to do extenuating circumstances of, like, me, I think they're going to try and do a mental health plea. Wow. Saying that he was not in a right mind when it happened. But, like, I think because there's all this footage of him going to pre-purchase the

a board bag that you used to transport the bodies like two days before. It's like, well, how long were you out of your mind if you're pre-planning the murder? Yeah. And how culpable can you be if you're clearly like... Yeah. But yeah, crazy. So heartbreaking. Yeah.

Jeez. Also, just like, you shouldn't be able to take a gun paid for by the state and do whatever you want with it. It's like having, like, I manage a lot of infantry and something's around accountable for. Yeah. And like, you're like, oh, wow. Yeah. Like, that sucks. We'll do better.

But, like, that is items in a shop. Yes. When you are the police and a gun doesn't come back to the armory cabinet. What? How? I don't understand. How is that possible? Yeah.

Also, he had. prior to the murders, used his access as a police officer to get footage of a pub where the guy had gone on a date. Oh. So, like, I don't know. If you're exhibiting signs and unaccountable, like, behaviors like that. Yeah. What do you mean? Oh, no, no.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh. Yeah. Wow. And then your mom's fucking with everything. Yeah. It's crazy.

That is crazy. So obscene. But he's also, like, so many lawyers have dropped away from the case. And also so many lawyers have refused the case and say they won't depend him. Crazy. Wow. Yeah. But also, like, Wilde that, I mean, I just can't believe that he, like, cops don't do well in prison.

No So this is going to be Very interesting to see how he goes Yeah Like whether the Now the government has to spend all this money Protecting him in prison Yeah

Like Mm-mm Mm-mm Mm-mm Mm-mm Yeah Wow Yeah

With that being said Matt what are we putting in the bunker today We're putting in Banjong Kuzui No, just Banja. Oh, just one? Can't only have one. That was the question.

Empty backpack. Sorry. Sorry, Guzzi. If you listen back, you'll hear that Lazy did bring that up. And then I kind of, we got past it. And then when we said at the end, Banja Guzuri, we just skim right past it. Now it's come back to the, like to the spotland.

And who will play banja? Oh, my God. Okay. And the MSN laughing woman. Can't you be happy? we gave you that laughing woman Well if you had a better avatar Also you know my favorite avatar

On Wow Presents Plus where you can choose lazy Susan as your avatar Wait you can Finally a streaming service honours me by having me as the image Which which pick is it? It's my promo pick From season yeah yeah But I mean like it's great look I'm amazing yeah oh my god

I'm so forever glad that our promo was like somewhat normal And I actually love that pick Yes it's sickening But that's a good avatar too. And yes. Yes. Good. Well done, everyone.

Well? Wow. Wait, we're going to do sexy outro? Yeah. Okay, okay. Later, to everyone was recorded at Natural Abadetat Studio. The theme sign music was provided by. If you have something to say to us, send it to us.

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