Death To Everyone - Death To... Bags, Batteries & Mat(t)s

Episode Date: March 3, 2025

Hello there!This week we discuss which type of bag and battery get into the bunker - and also the important subject of which Matt, in honour of our space car driver!Tune in and buckle up... Its a wild ride.xFollow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, Hello listeners and welcome back to season two of Death to Everyone. Hello and soo lang yaw to y'all. Oh my god you're so loud. You're loud. Zedda? Yeah? You're loud. Wow, I've never been told that before. Well, can you just simmer down?

Sorry everyone, sorry. This is a show where you get yelled at by a cross-dresser and you're not out on Oxford Street. Hmm How lucky an experience few have lived Mmm, I would say yeah, we should fix that. Maybe that's my mo What would you yell at someone in the street if you had to go go now? Good good. Okay. My name is lazy Susan and I'm Z Zelda Moon. And here today with us is our space car driver, Matt. Yes, it's me again. Hello. That's a weird horn on a car.

Nya-nya-nya. Oh my God. My horns are out of service. That's a pretty good one. Nya-nya-nya. Oh. Ooh. Ooh.

Okay. You know what I was thinking about this week and I attempted to make a funny bit of banter with someone who worked in the nursery and I don't know that she quite appreciated it. Um, you know, there's like little bird, like water whistles where it's like it's shaped like a bird and you fill it with water. And then when you blow in it goes, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I asked her if they sold those and she was like, no.

Wait, what's the opportunity for funny banter in that? She can say yes or no. Well, she's going to say like, no, but I imagine if we did. And then I would say like, I was hoping you would because I would buy one right now. And then what would she say? Well, our selection's over here. But they don't have them in your imagined version. No, in the real version, they didn't have them. But in the imagined version, you said, Oh, but imagine if we did. So you're imagining that

she doesn't have them. But she's pretending like she does. Yeah. And then later on in that conversation, she says, and imagine if I put them here. Imagine if the display of birds, I could, we could have three colors, but currently the red is still out of stock. Yes. Do you think she would have? Oh, see now you're imagining it as well. It's quite good, isn't it? You're smiling. She might have done an impression of one. Yeah.

Because they have such stupid knickknackery at this nursery, like a little ceramic mushroom that you put in your pop plant. I know that's not a mushroom. You know? What happened to the light? What happened to whimsy? No, plants are delightful, but like a little plastic fairy in a plant pot is a piece of plastic in a plant pot. Who's putting a plastic fairy? I want like shitty ceramic fairy. Well that too, but they have a range of that, but you know what they don't have?

Bird water whistle. When, why, why is that in the florist category? Okay. So I thought they might, there's a world where they might have it at a nursery because they have like bird ornaments and also they have water things. Like they have little like, we shall jump. Maybe they have, they have little butterfly houses with little slots in them. So the butterflies go into the garden. The whistle is not garden specific. Yeah. I little slots in them. So the butterflies go into the garden. The whistle is not garden specific. Yeah.

I'm out in the garden calling the birds, but by that measure, like you could sell a Toyota Camry there because you could park that in your garden. That's ridiculous. Well, you clearly have never been to Boronia and you're the lucky one. Okay. Well, I can't, I'm sad that that, that, um, conversation never eventuated between you and that woman.

Well, no, it sounded like she said no. And that was the end of it. But you know, so what actually happened was she said, what are you talking about? And then I was like, wait, wait. And then I pulled up a picture of my phone and I showed her, it was like, you know, these, and she's like, yeah, you don't have those do you? No.

So you gave her two opportunities. You gave her two chances, but she didn't take it. But what a delightful memory. Also those like birds with weights in them and you put it on your finger and somehow it balances there. Yeah. Would you put that in a nursery? No, that's a toy. I'd put that in what's new. Yes. Well, that's where it belongs. You know, it's sad that you fucked up this, this nursery lady's life so much because she could have been a guest on this week's podcast. She actually could

be. I like, I say like all of this, like, I don't know her. She's friends with. You knew her. Yeah. You knew her and she wouldn't even entertain your fake. No, because I didn't think, I think she thought I was asking a genuine question, which obviously I was, but like also it was a bit of a bit. And then... What was the bit, Rachel? Was the bit, do you remember this thing? No. Because you could just say that.

You don't have to ask if they sell them. No, because my point was that they should sell them, I think. Yes. And she didn't get that? should sell them. I think. Yes. She didn't get that? No, she was on board. She was like, yeah, maybe we should. And I was like, wait, why did you say maybe? Don't you want to sell those stupid birds? She'll be a great podcast guest. We should have her on. Alex, if you're listening. Do you remember this? It happened two days ago.

Alex, I'm sorry that this had to happen. She's so hot. Every time I found out something new about like how to find out if you have autism, they're like, sometimes it means you rehearse conversations before they happen. Oh, really? Yes. Oh no. They're like, well, so everyone has autism.

No, but I would never rehearse a conversation. It just flows. You'd never rehearse anything. No. How could I when I get it right the first time? Sure. God cast me in the role. Of disgruntled nut. Oh, disgruntled.

So what else? So this week, Zelda and I were off making moving images. Movie magic. I know. So this week, Zelda and I were off making moving images. Movie magic. I know. It's so exciting. I was, you know, like we've obviously talked about this a little bit in the pod, but it's like, how much do we say?

What's happening? And then it's like, well, there's not actually any kind of imperative to not tell people about what you're doing because it is exciting. And also if they don't know about it, then there will be no interest. So yeah, we were off shooting a sizzle reel for a film that I'm trying to get made. And Zelda was kind enough to come along and offer her services as a makeup, a moa.

A moa, I put my moa belt on and I pranced around. Yes, but we have a drag queen in this film, not me, but a drag queen. And I was like, Zelda, would you please, um, just step in and just do the drag makeup? Because sometimes, and I'm not speaking to Sam, who was the other Muah on this set, but sometimes when you get Muahs, they know how to do every type of naturalism, every type of gore, every type of VFX, every type of age, every type of makeup. But then you see them do drag makeup and it's a bit NQR. A bit? Yeah.

It's bad. They like start brow blocking that morning and you're like, oh, this takes a few years to get the knack. Correct. So, and it also worked really well having me kind of focused on maintaining the drag beat because it takes a lot to maintain that through a sweaty day of shooting. Absolutely. And then Sam could take care of like everyone else.

Yeah. Oh, she was so fabulous. But the other thing, this is because like this is now like we're trying to make a feature film of like a real production size. But yeah, it's pretty hectic then to be on set because we were only doing a two day shoot But we like had a crew and cast that was about 30 people on set I would say oh also listener lazy was is direct and yeah, so you were on set as director Hmm, which is very fun Director Robert. Yes. Why oh my god. I need to figure out

This is a real question and listeners, please write in. Hmm. Oh my God, I need to figure out. This is a real question. And listeners, please write in. What is my director name? Right. Okay. Here are your options. Cause we're not, you know, I was trying to ask Kertran last night and he was not being

helpful. He was like, what about Barbert? Well, I don't, you mean you are someone with a made up name. So what? Everyone's got a made up name. That's true. It's what? Cause it's done in the Bible, Kane.

Oh, I unplugged myself. Uh, anyway, so the names are as follows. Yes. We can do Robert Tenak. That's what I went by throughout my film school days. And that was like on my scripts. And that was just because I thought you go by your like most like birth, birth certificate name to be taken seriously as a director. And so that's one option.

And that's with a hyphen. Robert Ten Ike, no hyphen. No hyphen. So three separate words. Yeah. Yeah. Because Ten Ike is like van Ike or whatever There's no there's no there's just a space. Yes. Okay from from Ike. Yeah. Yeah of oak, which is of oak Yeah, it's a Dutch last name that doesn't actually exist Anywhere except for in America now. Hmm. Yeah, which is interesting and Australia I guess but it's very rare Anyway, cuz it was like cause you were made of oak.

Exactly. I think the people, yeah, the, of the, of the oak people who moved to New York and that's the place where it kind of took hold in America. That's not important. It doesn't matter. Ents? Ents. My people, I'm of Ents.

That explains why I'm such an Ent. I love them so much. Yeah. And so then that's option one. Then obviously my actual last name is Sinclair Tenak hyphenated because my mother was like, you're keeping my last name. So me and my sister both have Sinclair hyphen Tenak. So Robert Sinclair Tenak.

To me, I don't know if that has like pizzazz on a poster. A bit much. It's like, you know. It's a lot for people to remember. And then we have Robert Sinclair. Okay. That's, that's fun. But also much more common and a very Scottish name.

And then the final option is Robbie and any of those last names. So Robbie Sinclair, I think is the most Hollywood. Robbie Sinclair. Yeah. Yes, that could be a porn name. Or like a, you remember when there was- It's got a bit of slays to it. Yeah.

For some reason. In a good way, like I said, like that's good. Like I would say it's got a bit of like- Showbiz. Like quirky Sinclair. You remember at, under the graves? Yes. You had that like jewelry artist that used to rip off all those other artists.

Yeah. Corky Sinclair. But yeah, Robbie Sinclair, I think is like, just, do you ever hear someone say, and the palm door goes to Robbie Sinclair? Yeah, that's good. Or is it, and the palm door goes to Robbie Sinclair. Yeah, that's good. Or is it, and the palm door goes to Robbie Ten Eyck. Robert is so like... Robert? Yeah. It's a bit old-fashioned. What if Colin Farrell's giving the world, and the palm door goes to Robert Ten Eyck. Yeah. You wouldn't do... Helen doing Sinclair Icke? Does that work?

No, you can't. No. I'm just, I'm just throwing things out and saying, that's what Kurjan was doing. He was like, why don't you just go Rob Icke? Rob Icke. This is what I mean. That's how he was conceived. So he thinks it's, he thinks he just chop up names.

Yeah. Um, and is there an option where you pick your new like film, you know, like where you're Lana Del Rey? No, I don't want to do that. I'm already Lazy Susan. Yeah. Let's keep it straight. This is Lazy Ten-Ike.

And well that too, you're not interested, you want division between like Lazy Susan's work and Robbie's work. Yeah, it'd be weird. It'd be like Lazy Gaga. It's not work and Robbie's work. Yeah. It'd be weird. It'd be like, it's not directed by lazy Susan. Yeah. Why is that funny? Women can be called Susan. With that last name, it's funny. Yeah. It's a lot more like professional.

So well, there is a listener to this pod who- Wow, that's news to me. When I found out that she was a published author, I was then like, well, what? JK Rowling listens to this pod. Yes. Just so she knows, she got to know what's up. She's got to identify her enemies. Find the enemy.

Yeah. Actually, I got more to say on JK. But yeah, she has like a full like ghostwriter, like fake name. Enid Blyton. Wait, what is she? What's her books? I don't want to say, but like I'll say off there. Oh, just cause I don't know. Will people recognize?

I don't think, but no, I just, anyway, I just thought that was so interesting. And it's yeah. It was just like, no, I just like that separate from other stuff that has my name attached. I think if I was doing anything in the children's space, I'd make a full ass fake identity be like, Oh yeah. Like I'm Janine Pemblebrook. Yes.

And I write stories about mushrooms that sit inside of planter boxes. I love Janine's work. And small autistic children who rehearse conversations before they have them. Oh dear. Like, oh yeah. Uh, well, I don't know the answer to that question. No, you just tell me three, two, one. I think Robbie Sinclair.

I also like, don't like calling you Robbie. So like that doesn't roll off my tongue. It feels like a bit like, cause you say it. So like I hear it out in the wild and I'm like, Robbie. Yeah. It's a bit disgusting. I mean, it's a great name. I love it because it sounds like a nineties, like quarterback. Robby.

In Dawson's Creek. Yeah. Robby. But I think that's fun for a gay director to have such a gay name. Robbie Sinclair. Don't you think that's the gayest name? Yes. Like that man wears a bow tie.

Yeah. And like a, like powder blue satin shirt. You know it. That's what I'll be wearing. Khan. Anyway, Robbie Sinclair. The issue is though, because my dad is in the film and he has tenag. So I feel like I might break his heart if I, I guess my mom died.

So it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah. And who do you think had more sway on calling you Robert? Your father or your mother? Um, I think it was my mother's say so, but, um, oh God, she did such a good job naming us. Like just like the most neutral names. Yeah. Um, but they're not- Robert and Jennifer.

Yes, exactly. Um, but they're just like, truly like they have no, almost no flavor, but so it's like, we could almost be whoever we are, but they're also so iconic and neutral. It's like Apple, you know what I mean? Like not like Apple, Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter, but like Apple, like the brand. It's just like made in California, Robbie, like that is so chic. And if you knew my, my sister's real name, then you would also agree that they're like a perfect little couplet of normie, not boring.

And they're just perfect naming. Hmm. True. Sorry, everyone. Sorry about it. No missteps here. Hmm. And like, so, excuse me.

Oh, sorry. Oh my God. Sorry. Are we interrupting your reception business? Was it important? Ring a D. Put them on. They got the birds in stock.

They're just saying hurry up with this section of the podcast. Wait, did we already talk about and throw poor Reese Nicholson under the bus with that opening of their podcast? I've heard you say this a few times, but I don't know if you said it to all of our listeners yet. I love you all and I love the Fwends podcast and they are very lovely. But they do talk for a long time at the start of their pod. And I reflected on that because I was listening and I was like, get to me now.

But I was like, that's not like us, is it? But I think it's because they spent so long not saying, I'm absolutely filled with cum. Well, there's got to be like a cum percentage and that needs to come in pretty early. That's it. You'll notice the rambling is always interspersed with like fun, fun, you know, little quips and anecdotes. Yes. And they didn't introduce you until like you had to just sit silently through a lot

of that? No, no, no. They filmed that like. Oh, they do that separately. Yeah. Oh, okay. Cause yeah, I mean like we intro guests at the top just so they can join in the banter. Well that's it.

We know we're going to have Reese on this pod and we'll just, we'll rake them over the calls at that point. Yes. We'll bring it up again. Yeah. What do you think about, speaking of, um, well, yeah. Um, you know, when you go to like a wellness center or like the Peninsula spa or like you're taking out your trash and you have to walk on pebbles and you think that you're walking in a spa, um, what do you think

about those like paths which are like, uh, grouted and like, yeah, all rocky and like, there's like the course. Yeah. Because like, otherwise I'd have to constantly rake it. So like they're grouted in usually like at a park or something. Yeah. Yeah. Like, think kill the footpaths.

Yeah. Like stick. Except it's like very intentional because it massages your feet with every step. I love walking barefoot. Can I say? Right? How else did I become the contestant? Go on. What do you think about that? Cause I love it. I love it. I hate like when people cheap out on gravel rocks for gravel paths. Like you've already shown that you lack the finances and the wherewithal to put

together a gorgeous solid state path. And now I'm treading on loose rocks. I feel like I'm on a fucking Peruvian mountainside waiting for the slide. Um, but, um, my friend, former guest, Nina, her mother has these dagger rocks, the cheapest rocks and money could buy and use them in the backyard of their beach home. And so when I go to the house and you've just come back from the beach, you walk through the house and out into the backyard and suddenly you're confronted

with a sore challenge of these white dagger rocks. Yeah. And every year I'm like, I will pay you the cost of new rocks to get rid of these disgusting dagger rocks. Yeah. But if they didn't cause pain, would they be massaging your feet? Do you not feel the relief afterwards?

No. Because it's a fine line. There is. You are talking about like river rocks though, tossed and turned by the seas and tides. Yes. No, these are like- Smoothed edge. These are chips. This is from a quarry.

These are like the left, the drakes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. No, this is wrong. This is an affront. Shouldn't be on the market. It shouldn't be allowed, truly. But it's like, it probably is illegal by now. I hope. Maybe after this it will be. I mean. Bringing awareness.

That's true. But I love, yeah, that. The experience of like, walking through and feeling different textures. I also feel like you're lightly exfoliating the soles of your feet. But on that, something that makes me feel sick is like, knowing that like wild horses, et cetera, all animals, I guess, like out in the wild, that constant lifestyle of dugongs.

It doesn't quite apply to creatures of the ocean as they do not lay feet on the ground. But perhaps there is an equivalent with the dugong and its horn, which we can circle back to if you'd like. But yeah, how like that constant like grating on the earth files down nails or files down the hoofs so that they don't need, you know, to be like- Mani-pedied. Yeah. Which I find so intriguing.

But then your little prissy pet at home, you have to clip its nails and it hates getting its nails clipped. And like, oh, don't cut the quick on the nail because it will bleed out, etc. But that wouldn't happen in the wild. A wolf doesn't need its fucking nails clipped by a girl with a dog on YouTube. And they do end up just dying younger as well. In the wild? Yeah. Well.

These animals, they need to live fast, die young. I'm so glad we got onto that pebble rock pathways. How's your week been, Zelda? Are you okay? Yeah. This sounds like the ramblings of someone that's in a particularly hard state of life. Ramblings?

Oh, sorry. Like a rambling rock road. Musings. Oh, now I'm back on board. Ponderings and... Oh, yeah. What's happening in my life? I don't know.

I mean, the movie was great. That was fun. That was fun. With great catering. Thank you, Annie. It actually was. It was so good and such a generous amount of catering. I know. It was still in my house. Who did the catering. Thank you, Annie. It actually was. It was so good. And such a generous amount of catering. I know.

It was still in my house. Yeah. We did the catering. Uh, we did three different places, but Alasia, cause we were shooting in Brunswick for one of the days. So some gorgeous Middle Eastern food, but their falafels were bad. They were a bit dry. Dry, but the meat looked incredible.

But it's like, you know, when there's those places that focus all of their attention on the meat. Yeah. And they forget that a good falafel. And neglect the chick the meat. Yeah. And they forget that a good for laugh. The chickpeas. Yeah. Um, and then we had some gorgey little like, um, what else was there? I don't know, food.

Who cares? You're not eating it. You'll never get to eat it. No, I just, I just thought you. Not you, Matt, listener. Oh yeah. But also you, Matt. We had chai today.

We did. Ben Buggy. Ben Buggy. we received your package and your incredibly sweet letter and we drunk the delights of your dirty chai. It was delicious. Thank you. And listen up other listeners.

Why aren't you sending us things? Does that say his name for it? Yeah, actually. It was dark. Oh, dark. Not dirty. Oh, okay. Dirty chai is coffee. What? Coffee and chai, yeah. Oh, dark. Not dirty. Oh, okay. Dirty chai is coffee.

What? Coffee and chai, yeah. Oh, well, I can't keep up. Yeah, everyone else, send us something. Well, you know what? Not just an email. We have been sent thus far gifts from listener. Yeah.

Dark chai, eye masks. Yeah. Which was so incredible by, name escapes me again. I'm so sorry I ran into you at Pride as well. Only one of us got two. Eye masks? I didn't get nine masks. Only one of us got two experiences. Yeah, they were sent direct to me and they were so good, but Cochins used them recently.

Oh, so there was enough for more than two. Oh, we still have a supply. But not a supply that I'm willing to kind of pick up and put into a bag and transport to you. So your eyes are fine, they're not slowly turning into cones. Mine on the other hand. You have character cone eyes. Yeah. Yeah. You could almost poke someone else's eye with that. Speaking of do gongs. Yeah, exactly. Double gongs.

Novels, whatever. Anyway, all of that to say, listener, step it up, unless you're those two listeners. Yeah. We do accept gifts here. Yeah. And money. Yeah. Via Patreon, actually, listener, if you're one of the listeners who sent a message on Patreon about not getting access to Discord, I saw it in my notifications and then I haven't opened it up yet to reply, but I'll add you. So if you see this first, no, it's on my radar. I know that happened two weeks ago, but this is about my turnaround.

How's that for housekeeping? I actually had some correspondence with Sheridan Skye. Sheridan Skye. And she effortlessly highlighted how poorly my turnaround reply to messages is. And I tried to make a joke of it, but really, I should get my shit together. So sorry, everyone. Perhaps you could, I don't know, try. Wow. Finally had the luxury of time that my sister has.

I don't know who you're talking about here because I'm making movies, I'm selling video games, I'm spooking. What? I just did an interview for Marie Claire magazine. What? Yes. Email interview where they assume they were just mass emailing a bunch of cross dresses about what do you love most about Mardi Gras? Oh my God.

Um, it's been really funny because obviously I know that there's like, um, this podcast as evidence of me saying perhaps not the most kind things about our big gay day, but not to be mistaken for Brisbane's big gay day, which I am excited about performing at. But yeah, in the lead up to Mardi Gras, like all of these straight publications are like, so why do you fucking think Mardi Gras is the best thing ever? I'm like, well, I didn't say that. You said that.

I'm like, I mean, like obviously we can have a more nuanced take than that. Certainly I'm a queer person who's got a brain, like it's got good things and it's got bad things and it's a complicated mix of, you know, consumerism, the pink dollar, gay rights, protests. And that's just your brain. And that's just it. But yeah, it's an interesting world of those, like micro interviews, which I've now done far too many. And you know what?

I can see why people go insane when they have to do like a press tour. You're 99 people in a room. I could see if I had to do that, like for three weeks with nothing, but those interviews back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back to back. And then they were also not just asking me like the same five and a questions about like, how does it feel to have one drag race? Yeah.

And you're like, I don't know. Good. Like, you should just start saying bad. Yeah. Yeah. Well, life has gone to shit. Well, cause you want to give them something like at least interesting, but like at the same time, you're like, I don't know who's clicking on this article.

And then they're like, how did you get your drag name? And you're like, I don't know who fucking cares. I stole it off a dead person. Well, that's, I have said that before, but it's just like, you're just like this, like you don't care about this interview. you don't care about this interview. I don't care about this interview together. Neither one of us is caring about this interview and we're going to create an article that no one cares about.

It's like you could, but anyway, if you were a celebrity and you were like doing a thousand of these and they were also saying, how did it feel when your ex boyfriend said this about you in the press? Yeah. Like you would have a breakdown. You're like, it's that perfect storm between like super inane and super probing question. Did you watch Gaga's hot wings episode?

Yeah. What did you think? I think that there is something happening in the world of PR management where they've taken a picture of Ariana Grande and shown her interviews to every young woman and said, this is how you do a perfect interview that feels personable, but distant, like really fun and approachable and memeable, but not allowing people into your inner psyche. Because that interview felt like full Ariana Grande.

It was a facade. Nothing in there. And Gaga like kind of has never really, like she just does, like she performs whatever thing needs to happen for that interview. So it's like you had outrageous Gaga when she was at the start of her career. Mm-hmm. English Gaga when she was on Graham Norton. Yeah. Like all of those different things, but this is like a weird new iteration where it's like

approachable Gaga who's like polite, but like funny and cheeky, but like, like not too much of those things. Yeah. And like, yeah. It was an interesting watch. It's a those things. Yeah. And like, yeah. It was an interesting watch. It's a weird one. Yeah. Particularly as she's trying to figure out like the new brand. Yes.

But also like, I've, where's the suffering? That's the best part of that. Do you know what? Did you see that YouTube video where they talked about hot ones? No. And they were like the, the, the, you know how they all go off at the bomb? Yeah. So apparently they took all the hot sauces in this YouTube video and then measured them on the actual Scoville scale. Yeah. For I don't know what do you call it? You know Cinemassad or whatever you call it, um, capsaicin, uh, in the, that's the

spicy. Oh yeah. Yeah. And they all ranked much, much lower than what they're saying they are. And then after Dabon, which is the highest, it actually goes back down considerably on the Scoville scale. And so like that, that's why there's no suffering because they've changed the hot sources so that it's not actually that hot.

I love the suffering, right? It's fun. Also the fucking conceit of the entire show. Aubrey Plaza losing her mind while her mouth is on fire. Well, cause apparently the old hot sauce that used to be at the top end of the pyramid was hotter than Dabam. Well, it should get progressively higher. Well, that's the fucking conceit of the pyramid was hotter than Dabam. Mm-hmm. Well, it should get progressively higher. Well, that's the fucking conceit of the show.

Right? My God. But instead it plateaus and then it goes up for one of them and then goes back down. I think he's getting less hot. Since he became rich? I don't know. I'm also like, what else do you do?

Maybe he does other things. I've never seen it. I think he just bought a controlling stake in hot ones. Okay. Well, I suppose that makes sense. Yeah. Um, oh, that's what I'm going to say just before we dive in. JK Rowling.

Like it's been a long time since I've perused JK's Twitter account. Yeah. But I did to do so this week. It's actually fucked. What? Like it's not like, remember years ago where it was like, Oh my God, JK Rowling has some, like, I think she's like transphobic. Yeah. Like, Oh, it's a little bit. Yeah. It's like, did you read that the same way? Do you think that that's the vibe? Yeah. Like if you read it another way,

you could do a kind reading. Yeah. But no, like you go on there now and it is just, that's the focus. Yeah. And it is, that what I'm transferring. But no, like you go on there now and it is just, that's the focus. Yeah. And it is, that's it. Yeah. It's crazy. But they're like, why? The joke is on her.

Like, it's like you have torpedoed your career. Whether like, whether you still have fans or not is another thing. It's like your career will forever be sullied by this thing. Yeah. And you will always be sullied by this thing. Yeah. And you will always be a figure of controversy. You are never going to be like, and it kind of unabashedly beloved person again. People will either fucking love you or fucking hate you. Yeah.

And like you could have a being quietly transphobic and not ever said anything. Like there are plenty of people that are doing that. Yeah. Just, you know, like what, which is terrifying and evil, but whatever. Totally. But yeah. But it's like, at least we don't have to know about that. Yeah. But then you could have also just been like actively transphobic and then

change that view, like walked back those statements and then either A, changed your mindset, become a better person and learn to accept the people around you, even if they're not like you, or B, pretended that you're a better person and then quietly dog-whistle to your weird transphobic people while you pretend to be a kind like patron saint of you know kids literature but instead she's just like gone for this weird other option where it's like indignant spending your entire life worrying about people you don't know who you have no interaction with who you think are trying to destroy your rights as a billionaire. It's like, get fucked. Yeah, she's such a piece of shit.

But it's also the ultimate like, you know, drinking poison and expecting someone else to die. It's like I look out and I see like, you know, every day trans women thriving, looking cunt as shit, eating up the world, like enjoying their lives, being themselves. And they're not locked in a fucking like moldy ass Scottish castle sitting on Twitter, watching their money fucking rot. Like it's like, you're the fucking loser, JK. I'm sorry, but like the Divas don't give a shit about you. They never will No. And you're not having an effect on their lives. Like it's truly the most pathetic thing. Yeah. Boom.

Fucking loser. Anyway, I hope you know what would be so amazing if little baby JK, the daughter came out of the woodwork and pulled an Elon's daughter and was like, fuck my mom. Like, do you know what I mean? Elon's daughter has disowned Elon? Yes. Oh, I didn't know that. Oh, and she's trans.

Oh really? Yes. That's so hot. I saw Grimes as like, sorry to do this publicly, but Elon. Yeah. We need to talk. Yeah. I thought that was so funny.

I feel like, I mean, I know she probably can't because it would ruin her entire life As far as she's trying to keep her children. Hmm, but I wish that Grimes was just like by the way This man is a fascist piece of shit. We need to because it's just like come on. What are we doing? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh But yes, yeah the estranged child of Elon Musk like, you are a ketamine addict piece of shit. No one cares about you. Oh, yeah. It was incredible. That's hot.

Yeah. And apparently they met their estranged sibling on the RuPaul's drag race Reddit, which is really funny. Emily Lestrange. And with that, we'll be right back. Oh wait, no, we won be right back. Bye bye. Oh wait, no, we won't. How does the world end this week, ladies and gentlemen?

Was it Elon's trans child? That's right. No, the world ends this week as it often does. Yeah. It is the... Oh, have we done this one before? Who cares? Yeah.

We are mutts. We are but merely a dream inside of the brain of a small child. And as we are standing here, suddenly the child wakes up and the dream ends and our existence is vanished. Wow. Except one little bunker that is able to transmute the dream threshold and appear in reality.

Cool! Thank you. Where's the baby? Where's the baby? The baby's in an alternate reality or like the real reality. Cool. Like similar earth? I don't know. Maybe the sky is purple or something. Yeah. Why not? That's cool. Everything's the same except the sky. Yeah.

Sky's kind of purple. Yeah. To an un-nuanced viewer, but you know, if you really got into the nuts and worlds of the atoms and things, they're all kind of triangles or something. Yeah. You know what? I don't know. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, okay. And now we're back with We Ride I don't know. Yeah. Well, okay. And now with that, we'll be right back. Thank you. Bye. Welcome back, listener. Hello. We got Matt this beautiful new microphone,

and now all I can hear is the sound of his chair. Sorry. Chair, yeah, yeah. Better the chair than a phone, I suppose. True. Who was it? It was a scammer. Don it? It was a scammer. Don't call your wife a scammer.

She said, where are you? Every week you're off somewhere doing something. I don't know where you are. Yeah. I'm like, don't talk to me. Keep the secret from your wife. Um, okay. So our first topic for discussion this week is which bag goes into the bunker.

Which bag, which bag, why have we not talked about this already? That's so good. I know. It's so good. Very relevant. Yeah. Okay. Well, let's start off with the thing I hate.

Fuck you, Crumpler. Oh, Crumpler. Crumpler, you're a disaster. Yeah. The only time you've ever been relevant is when I was screaming at the outside of your store when I was drunk on Smith Street. Yes. Um, why are they so ugly? Why is they so ugly? Also like- Why is they so ugly? Don't pretend like your Velcro's like so good or something. Like, like, no, no, I don't like that.

Also, what would be like practical shapes? No, they're bizarre shapes. Always like, you're always like cramming stuff in and then the lead doesn't close. Yeah. Also, they look like they were designed by windows 98. Like they did. Yes. And that weird paint.

Yes. I like logo. I hate the mascot. If I saw that mascot at a party, like as a physicalized real human being, like standing in that pose... Oh my God. I would push them out of windows. Push them out of window because you know who they're not and have a similar aesthetic, is Cool Chick?

Yes. Or Groovy Chick? Yes. Like Crovy chick. Yes. Like crumpler wishes they were groovy chick and it's, and it shows. And like desperation is actually really hard to be witnessed to. Yeah. And that's why we have to like, and like who loves crumpler? Have you met someone that loves crumpler bags?

I can, I can see my mind's eye one person who still has a crumpler and he like defiantly wears it every time I see him. And I'm like, this is part of why I shouldn't see you anymore. I would prefer you just have like a piece of shit, like a bag filled with like literal human feces tied to your body. Yeah, it's just a garbage bag. Like I just wish like you had a garbage bag filled with poof. Yeah, that would be better than any of crumplers offering. Yeah. Such a shame because they actually

emailed me yesterday asking to be a sponsor on the show. Well, listen, and then get in line behind Mardi Gras because we'd love to have you a sponsor on the show. And I've always loved crumpler. Yeah. Marie Claire with incredible articles. We also want you. Listen, this is nothing against Marie Claire and their incredibly terrible articles. Or Crumbler and their disgusting bags that make me want to die. Your bags and how ugly they are has nothing to do with me. But also as if Crumbler's ever had to advertise. Unfortunately, the world is just aware of you in the way that they're aware of fucking Weinstein. Like we didn't want to learn about you, but you're so abhorrent for reality. Unfortunately, the world is just aware of you in the way that they're aware of fucking Weinstein.

Like, we didn't want to learn about you, but you're so abhorrent for reality. Yeah. There is no escape. Yes. Yeah. So Krumpler's not it. What about the Birken bag? The world's most expensive bag.

Birken. Is that like a Birken stock? No. Matt, really? What is a Birken bag? The world's most expensive bag. Oh, I have to look it up. You have to go on a list. Oh, I have to look it up. You have

to go on a list. I don't have very much money. And it shows. Mmm, need some of that crumpler money. Yeah, like I don't, I feel nothing for designer bags. I just have never been enthralled by the concept. It's except perhaps for Glow Mesh, but we'll get to Glowmish. My favorite designer bag, Glowmish. Is that the world's most expensive bag? Berkins. Yeah. But you have to go for like the Albino alligator bag. Some of them are 80,000.

Honey. That's, that's not, that's where they start. That's pre-owned. Well, that's cause Matt, to get this bag, the Birkenbag, you have to go into a store. And then if you ask to see a Birkenbag, they'll be like, sorry, we don't have any. But then if you walk around the store and spend $130,000 and then come back another day and spend another $130,000, then they might suddenly have Birkenbags in stock.

Because you have to go on a wait list in order to get a Birkin bag because they Restrict the amount that go into the market Yeah So the secondary market is really the only way to get yourself a Birkin bag a lot of the time Oh, and that's not even like a rare type with you know, interesting hardware or whatever. Yeah Wow, I just yeah, it doesn't Bonkers. Do you think they're beautiful? No.

They look impractical as well. I think they look, I mean, I think that they would carry a lot of things. I like that. I think like, I like a hard shape for a bag because it's not going to fold in on itself and you're going to get lost in the curves, which is kind. But yeah, I just like, no, I just, I don't know. Designer bags have just never been my thing. What about my Louis Vuitton bag?

Well, no, that is my favorite designer bag. The world's favorite. Because it's so iconic. People have started to recognize. It's upside down print. I really wish that I could have brought it on Drag Race, but they wouldn't let me have anything branded. But yes, listen, I have this Louis Vuitton bag that I stole from Savers many years ago.

And it's like the perfect size to keep everything without being too big and kind of holds its shape. And it's very funny because it's, it's the like speedy, um, God, who is it? They did like the multicolor Louis Vuitton print and, um, it's just really funny bag. And I love it so much that it's become kind of a lazy Susan staple. Absolutely. I've always been quite jealous of it because it goes with everything kind of, and even if it doesn't, it does. Yes. Cause it's a statement. Yeah. Um, and the size is perfect. Like I've bought many bags over the years trying to replicate that

experience, but in like the aesthetic that matches my drag and they all just suck hole. They're just awful. It is, it's crazy. I couldn't imagine moving to another purse now and it's really bad. Like I'm just like, I pick up another bag and I'm like, it's fine, but it's not my purse. No. Like, and it makes me feel that like,

I need to have her cloned, like Barbara Streisand and her dog. Yes, in the bunker. Like I need a clone of that bag. Yes. Or more iconically, which would kind of defeat the point of why that bag is funny. But I think if I ever won like Drag Race All Winners and won a half a million dollars or whatever they're giving away at that point, I'd buy like the real version of it. Yes. Which I think would be really funny for a day. And then I'd realize that I couldn't carry around such an expensive bag. Yeah.

But if I were ever going to buy a designer bag, which maybe I will one day, because they're slightly affordable, maybe ish, is like a brand new Glow Mesh. They're so cool. Is Glow Mesh still in business? Yeah. Yeah. Glow Mesh is around, it's very, like like it's a pretty tight little line and they're like, they're definitely not like luxury prices, but they're out of my budget, especially for

one that's of a size, but they have a beautiful like soft pink. Then the classic gold is really nice. Do you want to explain to the listener what Glow Mesh is? Yes. So Glow Mesh is like a woven metal look fabric. So there's like an underline and then there's like a netted mesh that sits across it. And kind of like, I mean, it's not like armour or like chain mail, but somewhere between. Yeah. Yeah. Somewhere between chain mail and snakeskin. And was very popular, like it's an Australian brand. Was very popular in like the maybe 70s, but like 80s.

And you know, you can find them like old Glamish purses and coin purses and stuff in vintage stores, but they do still exist and you can buy them brand new. And I just think they're really hot. Like of all stupid Australian things, it is not generally my vibe, that I just love. I just fucking love Glow Mesh. I love the way that like metal feels.

I love the bags. I love that it like slides softly over it. Oh, it's just so hot. And for the longest time, I had a Glow Mesh like wallet or purse. Um, but, which was my mom's from when she was like a teenager, but it died. Oh no. And then I had a Glow Mesh, uh, key, like my keys were in like a little Glow Mesh like key pocket.

Um, but I think I lost them. And anyway, like I've had different glow mesh through the years, but always like out of drag, but I would love like a good sized pink glow mesh bag as my like drag bag, that would be so hot. That would be so hot. So maybe one day. That'd be great. Or you could send it in this night. You coward.

Buy a gift. We accept gifts. Yeah. Like a two and a half thousand dollar Glowmish bag. Go on. But also you need a matching Glowmish party dress. Right. Just like a single sheet.

It'd be so hot, yes. One day. But anyway, love that. But what about like a tote bag? Tote bag. What about a library bag? I was told in no uncertain terms by my friend Nikita that I was not allowed to do merch that was a tote bag. Tote bag. What about a library bag? I was told in no uncertain terms by my friend Nikita that I was not allowed to do much that was a tote bag.

She's like, I can't have any more tote bags in my life. I'm sorry. The culture is saturated with tote bags because it's like from 2009 through to 2025, everyone made tote bags and now you're like weird laundry cupboard is a wash with like, you know, triple R tote bag and you know, Splendor in the Green tote bag, whatever. Can I say this? I bought a shirt the other day from Universal Store. How did you go in there?

That place freaks me out. Right! This is why you don't go shopping. But anyway, I did. I couldn't go inside. Like that one, I'm like, what do you even sell? I know. But I braved it. And I went in and I actually found quite a cute little shirt. I don't think you've seen yet, but it was cute. Prove it. And then when I went up to the register...

Well, tell me what happened then. You asked them about the bird whistles. If you could direct me to your bird whistle section, I have sunglasses here and you've got converse and what about this? Yeah. Um, you know, they're big. Let me show you on my phone. And then I was escorted out of the shopping center and that's the end of my story. No.

Um, he's like, Oh, do you want a bag? Oh, wait, give me a description of him. Okay. That's what freaks me out most. So he was obviously like first, my first interaction was with the diva gal who I was like, Oh, can I try this on? And she's like, yeah. No.

How many do you have? No. I was like, just the one. It's like, Oh my God, come right through. I would kill myself. So then I went right through and tried it on. How'd you go? No, I hate that.

Good to thank you. I'll take this one. Because you know what actually is the thing about that is that they're like, how'd you go? And you're like, I'm sorry. I just went and put on clothes for the first time shopping in three months. I had a panic attack about where I'm at with my life and like my body, how it's changed since last time I went shopping and had the same panic attack. And now I'm just trying to pull it together, wipe the tears away, slow my heart rate.

And now I'm coming out and you're immediately like, how was it? And you're like, terrible, Becky. Yeah, it was awful. And you actually know that. And you know the lighting in that room is not great. And the curtain doesn't close the entire fucking way. It doesn't close all the way. You psycho. Why is there a little gap? Everyone's looking.

And why am I getting gusts of the smell of my clothes that I was, my pedestrian clothes, when I took them off and realized I hadn't had enough deodorant on. Yes, and then when you have to put your T-shirt back on after not wearing it for 30 to 30 seconds to one minute. Why is it wet? Why is it wet?

Like, was I really sweating that much? This place does nothing. Just through existing? And it's not making me want to buy things. No. It's making me want to buy a home. Well now I feel like I... To live in.

So anyway, I went through that experience. Then of course, the guy at the counter was like stupidly hot. Yeah, well this is the part that I'm worried about. And like, hey man, how'd you go? Whatever, fine. Don't be nice to me. No. If we met in real life, you wouldn't be nice to me.

You would never speak to me if we were not in this situation. So how dare you speak to me now? I would be friends with your girlfriend and we'd meet one time at your wedding. Yes. Yes. Eww. Oh, so he was really hot and...

Wait, and what song is playing through the speaker? Maybe that like, you know that... You know that song? You know that one? Yeah. It's a lot of gibberish words. Yeah, yeah, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Maybe that one. Something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Like kind of like chill, but cool and definitely came in the last two years, which like, congratulations. Anyway.

So he's hot and very friendly. Yeah. For some reason. Yeah. And then I'm like, yep, this is good. And it's like, cool. Do you want a bag? It's like, is like, they're $5. And I was like, what?

And they only have universal store tote bags with like, which is a decent size and it was a decent quality, but like just like a plain tote. And there was like burgundy, black, teal, white, like all these different options on like the credenza behind the paws. And I was like, well, I don't know, like, I guess I need one because like what? So then I paid $5 for a Universal Studios tote bag. And actually it's all coming back to me now.

There was like one left in Burgundy and the black pile was huge. And I was like, well, if I'm ever gonna reuse this, I'll just want black. And I was like, well, I guess I'll guess black, but I feel like I should get Burgundy because they're obviously so popular. And he was like, ha ha ha.

I was like, ha ha ha. And then I got the black bag and I walked out. Do you know what I admire about that woman that works at the changing room? She's probably invariably hot as well. Oh, she was. Oh my God. Yeah. Is that she's like, like say Tyler is the guy that works behind the register. If you were to walk up to her and be like, do you think Tyler's hot?

She'd be like, Tyler? Oh yeah, I guess. Yeah. Would never have thought about it. No. She's like, I'm getting boba tea. Thinking about getting boba tea and a new like, plumping lip gloss.

I think people who work like in those stores where they're all hot are only aware of how hot they are themselves. They're not even looking. They're not. No. And she's like, oh, right, okay. Yeah, no, I guess. Like what?

He's like funny. Yeah, he's so funny. He's like my brother. He's like my little brother. Oh, I love Tyler. Yeah. Or like, oh, he's actually the manager. He's great.

Yeah, he's a real gun. Oh! It's just, ew. They're going to move him to the city store soon. Yeah. Bleh! But they'll be like, um, what was that? And they're like, what? Like, that gust of garbage air that just came through the place.

But I would love to, like, walk out of the store. I'm like, I'm 10 steps away. And then to like see their interaction of like, did you see that tall faggot that came in? He looks so bad in that shirt. What a loser. He bought one of the tote bags. Fucking black as well.

Yeah. Whoa. So cool, man. Oh, that's probably what they said about me. They didn't say anything about you. Cause they never, they immediately... Forgot that I ever existed. They couldn't even see you when they were looking at you.

But you know what's really great is that I was running around, I had to drop into Kmart at Northland. Northland. Is that what it's called? Yeah, that's in Northland. Northland. Yeah, it's just down the road here. Yes. And I jumped in, I had to run for the film shoot. I was like, I have to go and get a giant bra. Oh, that's right.

And I'm like, I forgot that weekends exist because I am a cross-dresser. The weekends are just opportunities for more drinking. Yeah. And there was like people everywhere and I was so mad. Yes. And then I was like walking through the Kmart and I'm like, suddenly very aware of like being just like this like weedy looking 30 something. Like striding, like lightly sweating into the women's like lingerie section.

On an absolute mission. Yeah. And then like summing through the plus size bras, looking for the biggest tits possible. Do you have an E cut? Bring me the giantest rack possible. And so then I did that, bought some bodycon and a giant bra and then like two men's shirts and it was just like, oh my God, this is not my life. And then there was like a giant line and everyone was also like just running

around and talking and like also someone tried to cut the line in front of me, which I'm like, you just are the worst. Like I just can't believe people like you still exist. It's like, I can see you sir. Like, and also like where it came up, what are you rushing home to? Anyway, so then home to. Anyway, so then I got out into the store and was like, there's no worse place. And then I was like, I'll duck into the reject shop quickly to look for fairy lights. I was looking for fairy lights that would light up in sequence, but be battery operated, which apparently don't exist. Anyway, walked in there, turns out there is a place worse than Kmart, and it's a place that's a run like fucking like Children's City of God or whatever, Children of God, where it's like 13 year olds running the shop.

They have taken over the kingdom. And I see this boy who has the translucent skin of a salamander that lives exclusively in caves. Oh my God. And like- He's out for his weekend shift. That's it. And he was just restocking, literally, you know, that picture that went around

online a while ago where it was like, name a single thing you can see in this image. Like, and then you look closer and you realize that nothing makes sense. Yeah. That was like what he was restocking. I was like, I don't even know what you're offering me here Like I can't make out what any of these things are Yes, there's like a candle that might be also a bowl that might also be a crystalline centerpiece Yes, it might also be a Mother's Day card

Yeah, and I was like all of this is just so disgusting and like not in a way that like I Just it it overwhelms. Oh, yes, because I feel like reject like, I just, it, it overwhelms. Oh yes. Because I feel like Reject Shop used to just get seconds of like brands that couldn't sell elsewhere would send their stock to Reject Shop. But now they're like making their own bespoke like, yeah, like cat toys. Yeah. And I'm like, this feels bad for the world.

Yes. Evil. That's why it's Reject. And, yeah. I mean, hopefully we don't have, we have a fabulous selection in our Reject shop in the bunker, of course. Of course. And Courtney and Sabrina run that like a fucking tight ship.

Like a divine watch. Yes. It's five Birkin bags. But you know, like in Reject shopped or like places kind of like that, but maybe aren't like the franchise, how like there'll always be things on the top of the shelves. And they're like weird things. Like when we bought those oversized, like wine glasses and stuff. Who like, like up there, there's like the vase with the sticks coming out of it or like the glass, like cocktail stand thing.

And like a fish tank is up there and like who curates the buying? The buyer? For the top shelf. The curator is- Like it's so weird. And it's interesting because it's like you could have things that are at the same price point, but don't look so ugly. Yes.

Do you know what I mean? Where do they get all that stock from? Is there like a website, like $2 shop website? I think some of it is made bespoke for them in a factory in China, but it would be like, they're like, we have the new season coming up and we need a pet gate that's reject shop. And we're going to go for forest green in like cheap aluminum wire. Yeah. Like that's the kind of Jewish, but like, Oh, we'll like, we're going to do a

picture frame and it has moon stones around the outside and it's white. Um, it's, it's got a white finish, like a laminate wood chipboard wood with a thin, um, acrylic sheet in a place of glass. I mean, get those for like 0.3 cents like per unit. Yeah. Yeah. It's so, but like, it doesn't have to, you don't have to put the moonstones on there just to all plain white frame.

But what about the big drag bags that you can buy at the reject shop? Yeah. You don't have to put the moonstones on there, just do a plain white frame. But what about the big drag bags that you can buy at the reject shop? That's a good bag. That's a good bag. But you know what? I love. Ikea bag. Custom bespoke drag bags made for me by someone.

That will last forever. Yeah. Do you know what actually? Why have we done that? I know we should do that. Yeah. Do you know what is the actual iconic drag bag? Yeah. The house of Priscilla drag bag. Orange and purple. Well now pink and purple. Future in purple now. They changed from the orange. But any drag queen worth her salt has the full collection, which was actually just gifted to me when I was in Sydney and they're like, take whole collection but it's so chic because you can be like that's my

shoe bag and that's my wig bag but they're all kind of in the other quality level of like a just spoke like a reusable Coles bag yes they're quality yeah like they're like they like get the job of flimsy plastic mesh plastic mesh that is like instead of a cotton. Yeah. But good as good. And also just means that you have a matching set, but with different kind of things that you need. Yeah.

It's good. What about when you go to the aquarium and you buy a guppy for your tank and it comes in a fish bag filled with oxygen and a really tight elastic band around the top. That's a good bag. I love that bag. That is unlike any other bag. Although it's so majestic when it's filled with water and taut. Yes, it's so taut.

It can survive like anything as well. Yeah. Like you could throw that fish down a hill. Well Matt, I wish you wouldn't. No, it's fine. It's really? Because they've got the air cushion. It doesn't like the fish would just be fine.

No matter which way you tip it up. Yeah. Say it again. As if it were in an ocean storm. Yeah. Yeah. Just roll it around the bottom of the car. Isn't it crazy to think about like, I mean, currents exist.

So I know that this isn't true, but like calm under the water and then on top a storm, because like the wind doesn't affect what's happening like a meter under the water. Yeah. That's cool. I'd be mad if I died in a storm and then the fish are like, oh. The fish are just swimming by. They're like, you can't handle this.

Not unlike your experience at Universal, you're in the top of the water suffering. Yes. And then they're just like... Chloe and Tentham are one meter below looking up at you being like, eww. You know, like... Why is he screaming like that? Yeah. Yeah. And then like, it's a fucking tsunami up here.

I'm dying. Like... Yeah. I barely made it out alive. I can't swim and there's no boogie board. Yes. If only they had boogie's no boogie board. Yes. If only they had boogie boards back in the days of pirates. More, more lives.

More shipwrecks would have made it. Yeah. Pirates. So what about like a bag of, of jewels that you've plundered? Or like a heist, heist bag. Heist bag. Yeah. They always like the big sports bag with the zip, you know,

that's where all the cash in it. Yeah. What do you think of, um, Santa's sack? Magical. Well, okay. Oversized, gigantic. My question, how long is it being canonically magical? Cause I feel like in the illustrations, they're just trying to say, oh no,

like he fills up the sack with whatever he's taking to this job, which is, I don't know, apartment 39A. And he goes in, unloads the sack, gets back in, drives to the next house, I got 135B, and then fills his sack again. But then at some point people were like, oh, the sack must be magical if he's got all the presents in there. I don't think that was ever the point.

I think it's just like, he's working hard. I feel like we're missing some of the steps and the illustrations, kind of like the missing link in human evolution. It's like, we haven't yet seen the replenishment cycle of Santa's bag. Where is the ops management in that supply chain? Because we've seen the factory. We know that there is a lot of elves in there making a lot of stuff. Yeah. Unpaid labor. No.

Well, I mean, we never see that part of things either. I also like to see that. People just assume that it's unpaid and it's like, well, how are they wearing such a beautiful outfit then? They unionize. Yeah. My hope. But Senesac, Senes sack is velveteen.

It's got fluffy. It's fluffy, fluffy edges. White, white fluff. Which is that lining, like polar bear fur is the lining. Yeah. Wow. Is that the inference? I guess so.

That's like a nice baby seal. Yeah. Arctic fox maybe? Arctic fox. That would make a lot of sense. So it's a fur lining. I mean, it's certainly a fur trim. Okay. Did you know that reindeer have furry noses?

They don't have like leathery noses? Like of mammals, like some do, some don't. Yeah, does it do a different color? Well, it's not red. Right, just red. But yeah, it's like velvet. Like, yeah, so it's like a soft velvet feel. That's nice red. Right. Just red. But yeah, it's like velvet. Like, um, yeah. So it's like a soft, soft velvet feel.

That's nice. Velvet touch. Yeah. How cute is that? Disgusting in a couch, beautiful in a reindeer. Correct. Yeah. Too absorbent to be a cushion.

Don't do it. Hmm. Is the stocking a bag as well, or is that just a stocking? That's a good question. I would consider that footwear. It's a bag in the shape of a... Oh. What? But I think the location of the... I would consider that footwear. Oh. What? But I think the location of the seams on that suggests that it couldn't be footwear.

It could be stepping on the seams. Well, it's a bastardized version because back in the, you know, depression or whatever, they would have been just hanging their disgusting socks on the fire. Do you reckon they were doing that to keep them, like, to dry them off? They didn't have tote bags back then. That's right. You'd go to Universal during the depression. They'd them like, like to drive them off? They didn't have tote bags back then. That's right. You'd go to Universal during the depression. They'd be like, which sock do you want?

Hey, how'd you go in there? Hey, Dolores. It's like, how's work at the peafong? I'm wasting away. Oh my God. I was listening. I've been eating onions for weeks. Onion bags.

You're so lucky. Those onion orange bags. That's good. Oh, that's one of my favorites. I have that tattooed on me. Oh, true. I have that tattooed on me. Oh, true. I have an orange bag, that kind of gappy net. I just think there's something so chic

about just barely holding things together. Yes. Yeah, it's like always bulging oranges or irons. And it's more force field than anything. It's like- Susan Stonk. Just keeping the net, the grid, but also in that neon orange, it's like, are we Tron? Are we a neon grid keeping things in place?

You'll find sci-fi in the most unexpected of places like the grocery aisle. That's right. Um, I also love the like kind of vintage, like shopping bag that is a mesh bag. The most impractical design of all time. I have many because I think it's so chic, but like what a nightmare. What if I was buying a toothbrush? Well, right. Out she would go.

No, no. What if I was buying a pencil? No, exactly. But you know, imagine to be a young woman carrying one of those bags in your summer dress. Oh, that's so good. You know, long hair, but not too long. Imagine to be a young woman carrying one of those bags in your summer dress. Oh, that's so good. You know, long hair, but not too long. No, and maybe a hat?

Not a lot of, yes, but like a bucket cap that's just a little bit fun. And you're in San Francisco. Yeah, and you've got sunglasses on. Yeah, and somehow you live in a house you could never afford. Good. One single flower behind your ear. That's right. You're a magazine editor, but for an

independent fashion magazine. Anyway, you know how it be. Yes. What about like small bags, like, like Ziploc bags? I do love Ziploc bags, but I can't help but feel evil every time I use one. Because they're so single use. It really does. It's like, I know that, you know, I found some compostable ones. Wait, compost, home compost? Yeah. So you can just put them in your compost.

That's good. Zip lock bags for you. They go in the compost. Sometimes they say, sometimes some things are compostable, but only at real composting facilities. No, these ones you go in the compost bin. They're just made of like starch, like corn starch. Why don't I just keep everything inside of a banana peel then?

Yeah. Well, it's the same thing pretty much. That was Ziploc. Yeah. Or a little baggie, you know, like a little tiny baggie. I love those, like a little dime baggie. You just see them laid around on the floor of the club. But also like when I'm going into a bathroom, say, to imbibe ketamine, or somehow the euphemism

that I can say in order to maintain my advertisers. You know, when I'm going to a bathroom to put icing sugar up my nose, I just think that like the technology here needs an innovation. Yes. Because why are we dicking around with like our giant man hands, like trying to very delicately get the ziplock open without dropping the bag on the disgusting floor and without ripping the seams holding the side together and then pulled your little key out and just somehow while high, get it through the aperture of the bag and then take enough, but not too much so that people

judge you for being greedy guts. But also don't pierce the bag. Don't go too far. It's like open heart surgery in that toilet cubicle. And then you're like worried that something's going to burst in. So you have to maintain like doing it right next to your face. All right, Sarah Michelle. But you know what I would love though is just like single, like a little, like just a single little. You just sniff up the bag. Like, yeah. And it dissolves. Like a tiny little like capsule.

Like a little single sniffed. Capsule cork. Hmm. That's all. A piss dispenser. Yes. And the piss just. That's all. Yeah. And the piss just goes up your nose. Yeah.

Like it was, like if it was something you could like, this is what I'd like. It would look like a small kazoo. Okay. But it would be closed on both ends and just have a hole at the top. And then you would click it and it would go, and then you'd put the opening. Yeah. Under your nose and it would go, and then you would click it and it would, and then you'd put the, put the opening. Yeah. Under your nose and then you, and then it would also mean no greedy guts, but it would just give you the right amount of everything.

Yeah. Portion control. I know I've complained about this before generally, but also I think I have on the podcast, but like Parmesan cheese bags where they're like the cut line, that's not where you're actually meant to cut because you haven't cut the seal on the bag, but then you cut slightly too far and you've cut into the zip thing. What the fuck? I would never buy pre-graded Parmesan.

Well, no, but sometimes times are tough. Times are hard, times is hard. And then they get worse because the Ziploc guide for where you cut open the back is a lie. Yeah. I'm already dealing with the guilt of not buying a block of cheese because I'm too lazy to grate it myself. Even though I know it will take literally 20 seconds. Is that why?

I just can't face it. Sometimes. I can't face it. Sometimes. I can't face the greater today. Well, cause sometimes what if you look away and great too far and then half my skin's gone? That's never happened, but I feel like it could happen. Greaters are so scary. Great, I'm not scared of great as much as a mandolin.

I don't get why they're still allowed to so much. But what a word. That's good. More of that, please. Why isn't a grade called like a trombone or something like? Yeah, nothing else is using that word. Well, the mandolin, that's an instrument. Am I crazy?

Matt? No, that's an instrument. Yeah, that's an instrument. Yeah, just call everything instrument names. Yeah, okay, that's an instrument. Yeah, that's an instrument. Just call everything instrument name. Yeah. Okay. Dry angle. Thank you.

What instrument would be the greater? It would be a... What's the, what's the shape of, um, a fucking greater? Yeah. What's a rectangular instrument? Cowbell. Cowbell. The cowbell grater. Would you stop buying graded pre-graded cheese if itbell. The cowbell grater.

Would you stop buying grated, pre-grated cheese if it was called the cowbell? Okay. Just to clarify, I don't often buy pre-grated cheese. Then why are you talking about it on your one opportunity to talk about bad? Well, because the few times in my life, maybe just one time, I don't know. When you're having a bad week. Yeah, that one week. It was seven years ago.

Do you know what? No, don't worry. It wasn't bad week. Yeah. That one week. Do you know what? It was seven years ago. No, don't worry. It wasn't this week. Yeah. Do you know what is quite chic in the world of bags? Wait, no, not in the world of bags. In the world of cheese. Oh no, where I'm from. But you know the pre-sliced cheese ready for grilled cheese?

Yeah. That is the height. That is Hermes bag luxury. Like a single slice. Not a not Americana size, like, you know, plastic cheese, but like when you buy the block of tasty cheese and they're already cut into perfectly even slices. Yes. Yeah, like squares and you can just pop them on. That doesn't taste as good.

It doesn't. And it's cutting your own. It removes the some of the flavor, but the convenience just makes it so. It feels so luxurious. It's too thin, I think. If they cut it a bit thicker. I think it's about three millimetres. No, it needs to be five, I reckon. Five. Or at least four.

No, maybe it is four millimetres. No, it's three. It's either two or three. Two millimetres, you're crazy. Who could know? So anyway, I've just been reading up about the Birkin and I've read here that there's an article called, um, the Birkin versus the Workin versus the Workin. So the Workin is the Walmart equivalent.

Oh yes, I did follow this. Yes. It looks exactly the same, but it's from Walmart and it's called the Workin'. Workin'. That's crazy. That's quite funny. Yeah, I taste it luxury at home. Yeah.

Take your Workin'. For the Workin' man. That's right. Getting a real tiddle out of that. Funny it's called a Workin'. You can get Alyssa out working. I'll tell her it's a Birkin. Yeah.

Um, just cross out the W. She'll say, what the fuck is a Birkin? The only bag I have is a bum bag. Have you had a, do you use a bum bag? Bum bag? Oh, like a, like a fanny pack. I had a bum bag as a kid, but I don't anymore. What are you saying?

As an adult. It's handy. You just keep your wallet and your phone in little, and your keys like right up there on your chest. It does feel very like festival coded. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's why I got it.

Cause it's just easy at festivals. You don't have pockets at festivals. You're wearing some long gown. What? What long gown. Hmm. What long gown do you wear? I don't know, just some sort of flowing thing that's just uninhibited.

Actually, you know what is funny about designer bags? Go on. Slash like designer luxury shopping is the culture of like reusing the designer shopping bag for like the next day for something else. Like your esop cotton bag and you're like, it's okay, this is also my pharmaceuticals bag. Well, I mean, that's slightly different, but I mean like you once went to Louis Vuitton

and bought a pair of shoes and then like the Louis Vuitton bag, just like the carry bag home, you then bring to the city the next day and you put your whatever in it and everyone, so everyone thinks that you shopped at Louis that day, but you didn't. You shopped there four years ago. How devilish. I love that. Yeah. Oh, I love that.

Yeah. Yes, I'm doing that. That's hot. Do you know what else is in that realm is the Kryolan bags and you know, pedestrians in our listenership won't understand, but they have these like laminated white bags with a silver embossed, foiled Kryolan logo. And then the ribbon. And then a small ribbon to tie it all shut. But also they're

impossible. Like they have two sizes and one is impossibly small. And the other one is just, just too big. Gigantic. Yeah. And all of their products are mid-sized. So it makes no sense. It's so stupid. Oh, you know, last time I went in there the other week to get my Elphaba green, Oh, you know, last time I went in there the other week to get my Elphaba green, I was chit chatting with the diva about my tear whistle. And I was like, you know, I finally... Wait, the bird whistle? No, a different whistle. Madam, directly to your nearest bird whistle.

I assume you have them here. I can see feathers on those lashes. God, their lashes are so ugly. Why? If anyone, listener, if you've ever bought lashes from Kryolan, I want you to go look in a mirror and spit at your own face and then take your hand and just smear it in and then say, that's from Zelda because what the fuck's wrong with you? Ew.

Anyway. Those little feathers on the end of a lash. Oh, is it the rice? And they're like kind of like royal blue for some reason. Colored lashes. Okay. Um, no, but I was like, you know, I bought the tear whistle because it's always out of stock.

What is the tear whistle? So the tear whistle, part of their like special effects offering. It's this like, it's not called the tear whistle. I don't know what it's called. It's like blow. Oh, the menthol stick. Yeah, whatever. Well, there's two versions. So there's a version where it's not called the T-whistle. I don't know what it's called. It's like blow. Oh, the menthol stick. Tear blower or whatever. Yeah, whatever. Well, there's two versions.

So there's a version where it's like a stick, kind of like a nasal stick or something, where like you hover it around your, like, well, there's a stick that you can like apply under your eye. That's the one I have. Like a balmy stick. It's like a lipstick.

Yes. And that will evoke tears from your eyes. It's like putting Vicks Vaporub under your eyes. Yes. And that will evoke tears from your eyes. It's like putting Vicks Vaporub under your eyes. Yes. But then there's also like the whistle or the blower, whatever, where you like humbly go up and blow through and like these menthol crystals and the crisp air will make the person cry. I love it. Yeah. So I obviously have always been tantalised by it, but they're always out of stock. Anyway, I bought one like a year ago and then when I got home, it was like all

dried out and it didn't work. We got the, this, the blow through. Yeah. Cause how are you going to blow it through your own eyes? I just, it like, I had no, no, like I just needed to own it. I wasn't going to ever use it. I just needed it. There's an attachment you can get then pull those the tube back into your eye.

I wish I could do like a little tube wrapped around. Anyway. That should be a toy for kids. You cry now. Cry now. Cry now, whistle. But anyway, I like, I didn't go back because, uh, why am I going to go back? It was already so ridiculous, but it was still like $55 or something.

Yeah. But you could have spent that on cheese. Blocks of cheese. Yes. As I often do. Um, anyway, and I was like, you know, I bought one and it was all dried out. This was about a year and a half ago. I just thought I'd tell you now. She was like, okay, do you want to bring it back or something?

I was like, well, it's well past the return date. Why do I keep, I promise I don't always have incredibly awkward banter in stores, but maybe I do. I think you're mine. Oh God. I blame self-service. It's made me rusty. Yeah.

Okay. I have met both your mother and your father, and I fear you're a combination of both of them. No. The best parts? Well, the talkative part of your father and the bizarre impromptu qualities of your mother. Oh, God. Incredible. Anyway.

Incredible. I brought one of those tear sticks onto Drag Race because I thought it was really funny because we were doing reality TV and particularly a show that's like intent on making its contestants cry. And so on the final episode, what they cut out is that I was like, well, before we go on and we were at the like big workroom table at the start of the new day. And I was like, shall we do tear stick? And they're like, what? And I was like, should we all do tear stick?

And they're like, what do you mean? And I was like, I put some under my eyes and I started crying and I was like, it's just so nice to be here with all you guys. And then I think Freya put some under her eyes and she was like, bitch, bitch, what the fuck is happening? My eyes, they're burning. And I was like, don't touch your eyes. And then she started crying.

And then as a joke, Vibe had put some on her lips, but then I think it started to burn her lips. So then for 15 minutes on set, we were just like, oh, oh, and I was just crying in the background. Anyway, it's funny. That's amazing. Good times. When I got on Drag Race, I'll take the tear whistle and I'll buzz around the workroom going, blow it in the girl's eyes.

Why are you so sad? Tell me more about your family matters. That's good. Yeah. Well, what bag? What bag? I don't think I've been compelled by any of these bags, perhaps the orange bag for its iconography.

And I think that's very like, it summarizes a lot. If I was at the end of the world, apocalypse, apocalypse, I would like, what is that song? I'm sorry. If I would like something that represents, you know, like the full span of human history, and that has like a woven technique. It represents agriculture, farming, a place that humanity got to that built it

up to the civilization that would one day be its own demise. And then also fluorescent orange, which represents gay culture. True. In a way. I thought of just one other thing as you were saying that is body bag. Body bag. That's quite funny. Body bag. I love when they put, who was it? Kate Winslet in that body bag in Contagion. Contagion? Sorry, bitch.

Hmm. That's good. Anyway. You wasn't expecting that. Zip. You know what else is really good is when you buy like Pony Mix or like Menura or whatever in like those bags. That is good.

That's another taught bag. And then when you take the, um, your little, uh, like spade or like your little troll thing and like stab the bag to like rip it open, but don't breathe in those fumes, you freak. Oh yeah. That's so satisfying. Things are needlessly dangerous like that. Who would have thought the fucking potting mix is like, don't breathe it in.

It's dirt, honey. Anyway. like, don't breathe it in. It's dirt honey. Anyway. Yeah, that is a good bag. I just, why doesn't it have handles? It's so rude. It's so weird. You expect me to just be like, farmer's daughter. You know what does have handles that maybe you wouldn't expect is when you buy like this

at night. It's like when you buy like five kilos of basmati rice and it comes in that bag and it's stitched closed. You need a quick unpick. That's so fun. Who was telling me about the quick unpick? Mandy on this podcast. Yeah. I love this show. Season two is gonna be even better than season one. You know what I hate though? Coffee bean bags on the side of coffee houses.

I don't like that. Put that away. Oh, you sewed it into a fucking pillow. It's still scratchy yarn. Yeah. Ew. And like, don't decorate the store with your wares. Decorate it with, I don't know, interior design options.

Yeah. I don't go to booths and expect them to have rotting apples on the ceiling. Be like, we had leftovers. Actually, you know, the, you know, like juice shop on the street in Melbourne. With the oranges. Or has other oranges. Calypso? Yeah, maybe something like that. That is so good. That is a big point for that.

That's like an esop store level installation. Yes. It's like mass, mass bag, just bag and that all allow because I worked opposite that store for five years and I used to watch them, put them all out on a rod with a hook on the end. and that was really entertaining. And I like that. That's fun. Always fresh. Always fresh. Shall we do the orange bag? Yeah. Unless you have anything to say about tea bags. Hmm. Well, I didn't and now I do. Because you know when you get like fancy tea bags, maybe from like T2 or whatever, and they're like a, um, like an engineered triangular shape.

A pyramid. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They're a pyramid. Yeah. What the fuck? I hate that. Why? You think I'm oppressed by a pyramid in my teacup? No, I just want the tea. What? What do you want it to be in? Just put it in a flat little teabag. Yeah, they probably did in the early days when they discovered pyramid technology.

But you know what? From the aliens. Like, I don't know that I would ever, like have I ever run into anyone that just works at T2? I don't think that- Or anyone that's purchased anything from T2? I know them. Oh, okay.

Because I know women that have worked in academia for 30 years who have leaving gifts at the end of the year. And that's when you would get that. You know, like they would have names like Shangri-La Sunset or something. And it'd be that with like a cute, overly rambunctious tea cup. Anyway, which doesn't go with anything else that you own or ever will own. No. And it will sit in your cupboard. And I was in a Vinny's on the weekend and I saw... Wait, what did you say to the people at Vinny's?

Nothing! There was a really cute table that I didn't buy. But anyway, and in there, like, they merchandise all of their like kitchen stuff in like color. So like you could go to the green section or the red section or whatever. That is such a divine way of dealing with-

That's what I want. Secondhand wares. Yes. It was like, I just want to go to the green section, obviously. Although I did look at the yellow section just in case there's anything for my sister. And in the yellow section, I saw a tin of empty tea from T2 because it comes in like a tin, you know? I would have put that in the orange section, to be honest.

Oh, it was yellow. Oh, that's weird. They have all sorts, I believe. I guess they do have a range. But anyway. But I still would have put it in the orange. But I was like, this is too far. I know this is all about secondhand goods, but this isn't good.

T2 too far. Yeah. It's like throw that out. And do you remember when Trainspotting 2 came out and they had the exact same font and it was called T2? That was funny. That's funny. I had a laugh. Okay, anyway, orange bag it is.

Congratulations. Goodbye everyone. Hello everyone. Hello Diva. It's so nice to be back. Hello everyone. Hello Diva. It's so nice to be back with you. Now this next category is based on a recent lived experience. I was at a store, not awkwardly talking to the store owner or storekeeper because I contain

myself. But you wanted to be awkward. No. I'm trying to think of interactions that I have with people. There's so few and far between. Yours is strong. Mine are complicated. You know you zig and zag.

Yeah. Anyway, so I was going to look for, you know those dolphin torches? Yes. Big honking great torches that you only ever use if you're traversing a farm paddock in the mid 80s. And so this torch, I realized I had to bring as a prop for the scene in my film where someone's traversing a paddock in the mid 80s. And I had it beneath my sink, but it was out of battery because I don't think

a single dolphin torch has held a charge ever. So I had to go and buy one of those giant fucking batteries which are really hard to find, any batteries, full stop because everything's now rechargeable lithium ion. So I went to Bunnings and got one of those giant honking, great fucking batteries. My question for you, Zelda moon and space car driver, Matt she is, and not for you listener. You're listening. You can't answer is which battery do we think should go into our doomsday bunker for the end of time?

Ooh, it's quite a practical thing. And I'm sure a lot of doomsday preppers actually do. Oh, true. But you lot of doomsday preppers actually do. Oh, true. But you know what, doomsday prepper, I'm so sorry, but you didn't prep for being in a child's dream. Yeah. Yeah. No amount of batteries or canned food is going to save you that.

Your preserves and your guns won't take you out of young Melissa's dream. Yeah. You thought it was going to be a zombie, did you? She's got pyramid atoms and a purple sky. Yeah. You know what? She created the pyramid tea bag. And to that I say, dream bigger.

It was a reaction to her parents' divorce. It's in her subconscious. Okay. They were going to Egypt, which exists in this reality as well. Of course. It's a complicated tapestry. Now, the little disks, little disk batteries. The ones that kill children.

Sure. Matt, you know about this? Of course. Yeah. Good. He's a, he's a father. He's a parent. You've got to keep them away.

They might go in a Tamagotchi. To my understanding. Wait, are you talking the hockey puck or the Apple remote? Hockey puck. Like watch battery flat. Yes. Or tiny, I put you in my laser pointer. Oh, that one with the little ring.

Yeah. So that's also hot. That one. But no, I'm talking like flat, like watch battery. It's so cool. That's so flat. How am I holding you and not getting a shock? Right?

I am the conduit. Why am I not the conduit? I don't understand electricity that much is clear. I think if you touch them, they go flat like straight away. No. Yeah. I've touched them. Yeah, but that reduces charge every time you touch it.

Matt, really? Yeah. So can't I recharge it? No, not really. Wait, what did you just say? What did you say? Did you say can't I recharge it by what? Well, if I like, I don't know, shuffle my feet on the floor and generate some

friction, is that good? That's what I was worried you were thinking. And what did you say before that? I don't understand how electricity works. Yeah. Well, I'm just proving my point. Am I? Like any intellectual would.

Not an energy source? I've seen The Matrix. I thought I was. Well, that's an answer. That's human beings. I've seen The Matrix. I thought I was. Well, that's an answer. That's human beings. Yes, in The Matrix. That's where I was going to go, but we got there early. What a gift.

Yeah. That saved about 15 minutes. No, I got more to say on bags. I'll eat that 15 minutes back up. We're going back to bags. No. You wish, only in season three. the flat batteries for Tamagotchi. That's cool. Yeah. Then of all batteries, obviously double A is what I've gone

through most in my life because of my Gameboy stock standard. Yeah. Well, so I think that's not, that's a universal experience. Yes. Not Gameboy, but the double A She's the queen. And then the only battery. What's single A? I don't know, but triple A is like skinny. Yeah. Skinny legend battery.

I love that one. That's so petite. The form factor remains the same. Yes. And that's the only one that I have in my life at the moment. It's my TV remote. I think that's the only battery, like replaceable battery. I've needed batteries when I've been at your house before and you're like, there's none here.

Well, what am I doing with them? How do you not have just drawers that need a light thing in them? You know, birthday candles, party balloons, batteries, napkins, brown paper bags, straws. No, my drawers like that. One has all those tiny, um, fuchiko in the cup women, they drawers like that one has all those tiny Fuchiko and the cup women they live in that drawer. Is that a, could you do me a favor? Before you tell me the contents of your drawer take a photo of it when you get home and we'll decide next week. Okay, which thing from my drawers? That drawer specifically. Okay.

Not all drawers, just the junk drawer. Just that one. Okay. Yeah, okay. We can do that. Because I need to know. Okay. Um, Wait, what fabulous part of that story was I up to? Oh, go on. Matrix, Neo. Hmm.

AAA, skinny legend. So that's in my TV remote. How does that never run out? I've had that TV for three years. You know, the day that it does, that's a real pain. Especially cause I don't have any spare. Cause I never thought this day would come. No, I hate that.

I feel really uneasy about a battery where I don't know where I'm at with it. Did you, do you remember like the ones where you could like press down on the side to like see the reader? That was so cool. My thumbs still hurt. You know, every time you do that though, you drain the charge. Well, obviously we all know that. What is it called the, uh, the big, you know, the big honk, like the, you put it in your

smoke detector battery. That's a D battery. D battery or a nine volt. NV. That's the one I like the best. That's great. It has a square one. It's like a rectangle.

One you can put your tongue on. What? Don't do that. You put your tongue on and get a shock. And it always clips in as well. Like it clips onto the wires. It's got a little, like a big clip and a little clip. Makes you feel like an electrician.

Yeah. But I also hate, hate, hate when smoke detectors get to the end of their life. And they just beep. Shut up. Do like a beep now and again. It's my life. Do you, do you remember, Jeremy, if you're listening, was this while you were still at Carlton? I can't remember.

But there was a period where we had like, when we moved into the apartment in Carlton, we got NBN installed. And it was like, there's like the box on the wall. And those NBN boxes run on a battery. It's so overwhelming. And when they start to die, every hour they go, meh.

Yeah, I remember that. And so I had this period of like six months where every hour, meh. Because obviously it took me about six months to just organize a battery replacement. That took about- What battery went in there? Maybe 30 seconds.

I don't know. It like, not like one you could buy it, Safeway. Ew, that is so annoying. It's so stupid. And like, you can't do it because you can't tamper with the NBN because you don't own that box. That's they own it. That's just in your house.

It's like, oh, shut up. Also, obviously it can do whatever the fuck I want with it. Yeah. Good luck. No. Anyway, so loud and obnoxious. Ew. So I hate a battery that talks back. Yeah. Let me tell you that. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so true. Um, I hate batteries that like, are in like things that I can't get out. Like my iPhone battery, it's like, I've never even met you. Yeah. And now you're causing me issues. Yeah. Like when they get, like my iPhone's now at 88% battery health, it never goes,

it says it's at a hundred. It means 88. Yeah. It can't get, it says it's at a hundred. It means 88. Yeah. It can't get through a day. Yes. Relatable. But you know, when you're like, you're like around your house and you wake up and like, if you've gone out for the day, it feels okay for your battery to be like

low when you get home. Yeah. But if I've just sat around the house and I look across my phones, like at 10 and I'm like, I woke up, I sat on the couch and now my phone's at 10. Yeah. Ugh. What have I done? What have I done?

That's so judgmental. Ew. What about, um, your social battery? Does yours ever get depleted? Robbie? The social battery. Yes. Oh my God. I've become such talking about? Robbie? The social battery. Yes. Oh my God.

I've become such a like, yes. Oh my God. Excellent. I am such a, like, I have a real, I have, I love constant stimulation. Um, and I love that, but I go, my social battery will go really quickly if it's like in a club environment. It's as soon as I get bored, I'm like, boring. Like this is not, like if there's like new information coming to the table or whatever,

I'm like in it for the long haul. I could sit at like, my social battery would last forever at an Airbnb in the countryside with like five or six of my besties drinking wine, I could stay up until like four in the morning and have been talking all day. If I am then in a situation where it's like there's one person there that I fucking can't stand and we also there's an expectation to like dance at some point for a while, that social battery is gone. Yeah. I think like your iPhone's battery has slowly degraded to be 88%.

Yes. My social battery charges up to about two. Yeah. And that's it. So it depletes very quick. I've never had that experience with you. Oh, what? Oh, but I like you. Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah.

I think I have a very different perception of you because I am the person that gets to see you at your best. Yeah. And some do, but it's just really hard. It's hard. I don't want to talk about social battery. That's far too... Why did you bring that up? Well, because I thought it was funny and now I'm going back. Just like Fran Fine had the experience of getting- What?

Just like Fran Fine? Because Mr. Sheffield took it back. Oh, he took it back. I'm taking it back. Yeah. What about car batteries? Apparently when they're dying, they start smelling like eggs. You know what?

This car battery thing, this battery charges through momentum. Oh, that's why you thought you could charge a watch battery with your hands? You're like, I'm... I don't remember ever saying that. I'm an unstoppable force. But the car battery charges the more you drive, right? Or like whatever. Or like the best thing you can do for a car is drive it.

Sure. I can accept all of that without any understanding of any of those concepts. But then, oh, you idiot. You left your inner light on? Well, that battery's dead. You left it on for 30 minutes? It's dead. Yeah.

That's so stupid. This thing that creates this vehicle that you could just drive around Australia in. Yeah. You leave a little light on and it's gone. Yeah. That's so stupid. That's why you've got to protect your inner light. It's a massive battery as well. Yeah.

What a wimp. But new cars don't do that. New cars won't let you. New cars are like the fucking NBN. I've been driving boyfriend's car. Honey, I am going to kill this motherfucker. Cause she says so many things to me. She does.

Don't drive too fast. Shut up. Shut up. My old car never said this to me. We had a great time speeding. And you know what? If I get a fucking speeding fan once in a blue moon, fine.

But that's the cost of doing business and not having a judgmental car. And then when I'm trying to park, something that's fiddly and annoying, and oftentimes public, parallel parking, and she's like, she has a woman's voice. Well, I don't know that she's a woman, but she has an effeminate voice. Yeah, they

They say to me as I'm parking And like shut up I'm trying to do something you can't I'm aware that there are things around me Yes, I know I'm a meter from the car in front But how you expecting me to fucking park while you're screaming at me? Yeah. And my old car would never do that. And occasionally I'd back into a hydrant. Who cares? That's the cost of doing business.

Yeah. But no, the beeping, constant beeping, constant screaming. and sometimes, sometimes she'll stop the music and say, watch out or whatever. I'm like, I was listening to Katy Perry's Raw and you have, no one is going to interrupt. My father could be calling me from fucking his deathbed and Yeah. And I would say, just wait 35 more seconds. Cause I need to know what you're going to hear her. Yes. Raw.

Raw. What about those, like, uh, the big round batteries that would go in, maybe you're like cassette player. Big round batteries that maybe would go in my cassette player. Yes. Or indeed they would. Oh, the thick. Those like chunky girls. Thick. And for some reason it's like. Yes. Or indeed they would. Oh, the thick, thick. There's like chunky girls.

Thick. And for some reason it's like. How do you know them all? Yeah, what? You freak. It's a C battery. Okay. There's A, A, triple A, C, and D.

What happened to B? Yeah, where's B? There's no B. Wait, let me think. Well, that's insane. And then little ones all have like different names, like C2025 and 2032. I'm sure they were called Tamagotchi. But yeah, those chunky girls.

And why do you need 12? Yeah. You need so many of them. I look at them and they're huge. That's worth four. Skinny legend battery. And that idea then of like, well, what songs are you going to listen to

while you can still hear them? You got 12 songs. Whoa. Yeah. And then, what about disposing of batteries? Oh my God, I actually can't think about it. That's why they have that drawer. Yeah, that and also disposing of batteries? Oh my God. I actually can't think about it. That's why they have that draw. Yeah.

That and also disposing of like printer cartridges. I mean, are we meant to do something with that? Yes. Oh, that's so hard. And I actually just pulled that giant, what is it? Six volt battery out of that dolphin toy. And now it's sitting on top of the pantry at home. And I like looking at it every day because it's so big.

You can't even like, oops, I just fell into the garbage. Oh yeah. Like maybe someone else more environmentally unfriendly would do that occasionally. Never us. Never me, never me. But with this giant battery, it's like burying a body. Like do I have to cut it up and throw it into the river? Cause I will.

Okay, probably throw the battery in the water. Throw the battery in the river, get it away! No, you have to go to the office works. What do they do with it though? They give it to someone else to worry about. Right. They put it in a different bin. Yeah, truly. Yeah.

They have them in binnies now, you put them in the binnies. Put it in the binnie at Binnie's. When I went to the tip recently, there's like a very specific battery locale. Yeah. And we rightfully put like, I dunno, we like smashed open the laptop that we were throwing out and like put the laptop battery there and like we had another battery from some machine.

Who's we? Me and my brother. Uh. When we were culling before the move, they moved out. Culling things from the shed. Anyway, and I felt very responsible. I was like, this makes up for every other battery that I've put in the trash bag.

I mean, I would never do that, but I've seen other people do that. There's just no way that trash sorting is working the way we think it is. I don't understand. Who, I mean, truly, I'm just like, for every model citizen, like I assume Matt is, who is doing like the separating of everything and not accidentally occasionally putting like a coffee

cup into the recycling. It's hard. Anyway, which battery? Battery, battery, which battery? Battery the crime. Oh, battery. That's so good. And a bat, bat, battery. That's so good.

And a bat, bat, bat. Bat? Go on, you sing it. You know what? You sing it. I have nothing. I know. Listen, if you've ever watched Kimmy Schmidt, you know what's up. Which battery?

Okay. Which battery? Maybe we should put in the fucking battery from the smoke alarm. Because that's so annoying. With a smoke alarm. Oh, yeah. Wait, NBN or smoke alarm? Oh, Troy made NBN sound.

Sorry. Yeah, no, itBN or smoke alarm? Oh, Troy made NBN sound. Sorry. Um, yeah, no, it's just a little random bit. Yeah. That's pretty good. Also, why does the steam from my shower set off the smoke alarm? Steam listener. That's not smoke. It thinks it's smoke. Yeah. Well, can we upgrade that?

We put people on the moon, you know? Well, you didn't. We did that as a collective of inhabitants of Earth. I contribute, listen to this podcast. Those astronauts need something to keep them going. And that's what we provide here. Wait, who do you... Sorry, this is just a little sidebar.

Who do you think the most famous person that's ever listened to this is? You. Damn it! Who's famous that listens? Who's the most famous? But like maybe we don't even know. True. Because I was thinking the other night, like Ariana Grande was tweeting about Drag Race America.

And I was like, I wonder if Frankie's ever been like, Ari, you should watch the new season of Down Under. Yeah. I feel like you might like it. Yeah. And she's like, yeah. Yeah. No one mourns. Yes, I think it's gonna be that.

Smoke detector with, what did you call it? Eight volt. A dying nine volt. Nine volt. Eight volt. A dying nine volt. Nine volt. Nine volt. A dying nine volt though. Deep volt. With that, we'll be right back. Bye bye.

Now do we have a third one? Do something that says it will. Bad batteries and bitches. Which bitch? Wait. Welcome back, Lizzo. I hope you're ready for our final topic of discussion today. Which is of course, which bitch goes into the bunker? Finally we've arrived.

No, we're cutting all this out. No. We're doing which bitch? Which bitch? Which bitch? Bitch. I'm going to get in trouble. What?

Matt? Matt, you're already in trouble. It's not very good. Matt, you're already in trouble. Matt bitch? Which bitch? Bitch. I'm going to get in trouble. What? Matt? Matt, you're already in trouble. It's not very sensitive. No, but you never have been. You're an unkind person with a mean soul.

What? It's coming out. Maybe we should do which Matt. Which Matt? Which Matt? I know exactly which Matt I would want to put in the bunker. Okay. Here's what we're going to do.

We're going to do which Matt now to preserve Matt's reputation. Yes. Of course we're going to leave all of this in. Yes. I'm cutting this out. Matt, leave it in. Double it. Triple it.

But we will come back, circle back to which bitch. Maybe we'll do which bitch at Liv Lux. Oh, that's fun. And people we're going to put up a poll and we want to ask you suggestions of which bitch. Yeah. And then we will do it at our Liv Lux. I presume it will be Lassie.

Already interpreting the theme. Good of you. Mine's going to be Miranda Priestly, the original bitch. I wanted something with a B. Yeah. Which bat? Which bat? Oh, a fruit bat.

They're not technically bats. They're sugar gliders. I love sugar gliders. They're so cute. Cute? Okay. I beat that bitch with a bat. I love sugar gliders. They're so cute. You? Okay. I'll beat that bitch with a...

Yes, we got it! Um, so there is a aquarium... Don't blame me, Kimmy. Blame America. Blame America. Um... I'll beat that bitch with a... Um, so there is this aquarium adjacent to Queen Vic Market that's like underground. Not as in it's unknown. It's literally under the ground.

And it used to have like an Australian equivalent of like exotic animals, which we don't really have as pets in Australia. Why did you say it like that? Because in America they have exotic animals. No, but you were talking and then suddenly you sped up and went, exotic animals. Why did you say it like that? exotic animals. Why did you say that? The room that we're in is about 45 degrees. We have lost our minds because of the... I think we've been talking for seven hours at this point. Whatever it is.

Anyway, they used to have this exotic animals. I've cut this down to about... I think it's going to hit about two hours. Good. We recorded for about seven. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That was just off the way. But yeah, they... And like you could get turtles or you could get like a parrot maybe. And they still made it in.

They used to have sugar gliders available. Which I was like, how is that possible? Australian like, um, like pet keeping laws are so strict. Um, but I was so tantalized and I wanted to get a sugar glider from my apartment in Coburg instead we got ferrets. I think we can all agree you made the right decision. Sugar glider is so cute. I know.

Why didn't you get one? I don't know. But anyway, in another life. So which Matt? I vote. Here's my pitch. Okay. Door mat. A light dusting on the lower back. Door mat. Bath mat. On a man. Yes. A hairy back. Yeah. I know we did body hair with Brenda, right? Yeah. I can't remember what we put in there. We did Happy Trail. Yeah, Snail Trail. So what about on the back?

Wait, is this a type of hair? Yeah. Yeah, like a bath mat. But on a... No. But really? I've never heard of that before. What?

I'm not crazy, right? No, no, no. Yeah, OK, good. Matt, you're crazy. Yeah. You don't even know your kind. He's not even looking at Matt's lower backs. Yeah.

I don't have anybody here. You don't have a bath, Matt. Matt with no Matt. Wow. So yeah, it's like that little bit above the bum. Don't say bum. That's disgusting. What? And? Above the ass. Above the ass. Um, okay. Well, um, what do you think about Matthew McFadden from succession? What? No? Matthew McConaughey. Matthew McFadden. Oh, what? Is he a Matt? Oh, right, Matthew.

Got it. No, I hate him. I love him. He was my least favorite character on that show. Cause he's amazing, but like, no. What about Matt Berry? He was in Deadpool and Wolverine. Matt Berry.

Matt Berry is great. Matt Berry. New York City. Oh no. He's got the best voice. No. I love him. No.

I don't want to put Jack Black in the fucking bunker. That's not Jack Black. It's English Jack Black. Matthew Modine. Modine. Matt Boma. Is it you Modine? Matt Damon.

Oh, Matt Damon. Modine. The interdimensional outer space being. Oh, Matt Damon. Mo Dean. The interdimensional outer space being. What about Matt Groening? Do you like The Simpsons? Yeah.

Do you like Matthew Broderick, husband of Sarah Jessica Baca? Broderick. Ferris from Ferris Bueller's Day Off. He's fine. He's like classic Matt. He's great. He's like, when I think of someone called Matt, that's who I think of. But you know what?

Whenever Sarah... Matthew. You guys think of someone called Matthew. Yeah. Whenever Sarah Jessica does interviews, she's like, Matthew and I loved this play. And that's why we had to go and see it. The only thing I think about with him is Godzilla. That's...

Because he was in Godzilla. You know? That was so good. Do you have any Matts in your life? Me? My ex-Mat? Did you make someone called Matt? Yeah, I spent three years of my life with a Matt. Prove it.

Do you get like triggered when you say my name? No. Or think of me? Loved Matt. Oh, good. Yeah. That's nice. Yeah.

Was he the best of your exes? Um, is he in the bunker? Oh, I don't often rank my exes. Rank the exes. Rank the exes. Um, yeah, no, he's amazing. Oh, Maddie. I didn't ask if he was amazing.

I said, is he amazinger than the others? Than the others. They each have their own qualities. Some of them good, some of them bad. Yeah. He's number one. I'd say the thing that binds all three of them is that they don't love me anymore.

Oh, God. Here I am having fun. In a very Mamma Mia style. You're a ghost. Not Mamma Mia. Here we go again. Oh, sorry. No Mamma Mia.

Like the publication where they have a sassy podcast, where they talk about their exes. I see. So which Matt? How about, um, a door mat like yourself? Wow. I hate like a welcome mat with like, welcome to our home up with a rainbow. Oh, I hate that. Welcome Matt with like, welcome to our home up with a rainbow.

Oh, I hate that. Also the way that a rainbow comes up on that, like, thick pile. It's like dusted out. Ew. No, but I also, I think I love the iconography of just welcome. That's fine. Like that's like, if I'm in a cartoon, that's the map that says this is a map. I don't like, I also only like, um, like whatever it is, the like wicker, like fibrous like coconut fiber.

Yeah. That is what a mat should be. It needs to have a scratching quality. Yes. At my rental, there's still mats that I haven't yet replaced that are like rubber. I see the place for a rubber mat. No, I hate it. I just hate when it's like a really low pile, like, like carpeting.

Yes. I'm like, that's not doing, that's not dusting my shoes. You know what I hate? Because this isn't really a rug. It is more of a mat. It's like the mat that goes around the toilet. That's good. Because otherwise my feet will be on the cold ground. I thought that was just to catch any stray drops. Well, yeah. What if like the worst thing about that mat is it gets covered in piss. So wash that mat if you would.

I think that you shouldn't have carpet in the bathroom. A carpet bathroom. That is my dream. That's so good. Anyway, that is really what I don't like is those like wooden like mat razors from IKEA or whatever that you put your bath mat on to keep it aerated. Just hang it up, you lazy bitch. Oh my God. What? What?

You put a bath mat on those. Yeah. Oh my God. What do you do with them? What? Wait, what? What? Yeah. Oh my God. What are you doing with them? What? Wait, what? What? You're saying, so that wooden thing that goes on the floor.

Yeah. You meant to put a bath mat on them? Yes. We're both idiots. They were just so like a bath mat alternative. But it doesn't collect any water. I know. That's why I was like, you don't shit then. I was about to go on like a massive tear on how stupid they are.

But now I realize the joker is me. At least I think. I always thought they were like to level it up so that there's airflow. Matt? Me? I actually don't know. I'm going to recuse myself from this, recuse myself from this. Cause I actually don't know. Matt, we're talking about your thing.

Yeah. This is your camera. I don't know. We can't know everything. I hate in the shower, rubber mat that like, suctioned onto the ground to have grip. Yeah, they would feel weird. Ew! But I love pretending to be an octopus and like...

That's good. But, you know, you can only do that so many times in your life. I like pretending to be a frail old lady. Slipping, grabbing onto the... Have you ever had like a close call in a bath or shower? Or you're almost slipping, you're like, oh my God. You haven't, have you had a shower in my new place? No. Because the bath is...

Yeah, that's when you weren't there. You can have a shower there, whatever you like. I did have a bath at Zelda's old house once. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. Uh, but the shower is quite like, it's, it's deep, but it's quite curved. So like when I skate ramp, yes, when I'm standing in there, you're like, your feet are always kind of like pushed up, which is great for your achilles tendon

and keeping them stretched out, but terrible for balance when you're in a wet, slippery shower, but I refuse to put one of those fucking rubber mats, although the octopus appeal is real, um, cause they're so ugly and they get so moldy. But anyway, um, there is a, like, kind of like hand rail there for if you're old and frail or if you slip and I have had to catch it a number of times because it's quite dangerous. It's so scary. Bathrooms are the silent killer. Anyway, which Matt?

I'm gonna say, I mean, I do love Matthew Broderick. Yeah, I think him. But he's more of a Matthew. I mean, you know, he's my favorite Matt, but he's already in the bunker. Matt, she is. Oh, that's so nice. And your ex Matt.

I love him too. Oh, Matt, no little Matty. Um, well, hmm. What's this article in defense of the 1998 Godzilla film? Well, that can't be right. Okay. And that's, that's the mat. Matthew, we have Matt.

Yeah. That's the best Matt. Um, yeah. Like a floor mat. Oh, place mat. Do you know what I place? Place mat is good. Place mat with like a maze, a menu on one side and a maze and some pencils is fun.

Do you sometimes feel like an idiot when you go to a restaurant or a cafe and you've got the menu and then you flip it over and there's nothing on the other side? Yeah. And you're like, I was just checking. Like, I don't know if it's on both sides. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. And you just look greedy because you just want more.

What else have you got? Or seem dissatisfied with what you've seen. Oh, that's it. That's free space. Or, or, that is too much. Fuckin' hell. Well, so when they're like A3 size and like, then there are double sided, you're like, this is too much, curate.

Yeah. It's like, you know, the size of the table in your space. So why is it so gigantic? But also when they have them and like, it's a menu printed on it and then you go to give it to them and they're like, that's also the placemat. Oh! Ew, leave me alone! But also if they have paper menus

and they don't replace them like every week, I hate that. What if they left the menu on the table as the placemat and they come out and you're with food on like a little like on a spatula and they just laid on the mat. Yeah, I'd like that. That's good. That's like fish and chips, but it's my gnocchi. Yeah.

And they like dust it off and reuse it for the next time. Yeah. Yeah. Well, what if they came out and put your food down? They're like, so can you move the menu? Why are you eating on top of it? Oh, sorry. Sorry. No, I like it when they have like, so can you move the menu? Why are you eating on top of it? Oh, sorry. Sorry. No, I like it when they have, this is a much more American thing, but when they have like activities and stuff on the other side for kids, because I think it's

unconscionable to have children unentertained for five seconds of their lives. So a little maze, perhaps including a mascot that is out the front of the building is great. When you can start getting some of the deeper lore about, I don't know, whoever the fuck, you know, the flamingo is that's on the happy meal. Lazy Susan. What if we put in the bunker, the placemat of like the cuisine of the bunker, and then on the back we can have the like map of the bunker. And then on the back, we can have the like map of the bunker. That's good.

But like the, so listener, when we designed it, the last map was more of a floor plan, but I had grand designs for designing the like Disneyland style, like that map of the bunker. It could be that on the back, but also with like a little, yeah, like puzzle thing or like a crossword or something. I like that. That's so hard.

So it's like it's placemat and then at Liv Lux, we could make this into merch. Like a placemat. Yeah. Is it like the Reggie's placemat? I guess you could get food at Reggie's. I guess we'll have to do Liv Lux. Um, maybe we'll do it Brunswick Wall Room and have a set menu. Yeah.

Oh, and everything comes in sardine cans. Maybe we'll do it Brunswick Wall Room and have a set menu. Yeah. Oh, and everything comes in sardine cans. Um, we're having that. Yeah. Oh my God. Well, that's planned. Sardine cans and we'll have Wendy's milkshakes. Yes.

Flakeshake. And people have to dress up. Yes. As things from this. Yeah. There's enough fans to do that, right? It's perfect. Excellent. Our 13 listeners will come. Yeah. There's enough fans to do that, right? It's perfect. Excellent. Our 13 listeners will come. Yeah.

Lishna, you don't know if you're one of 13 or if that was a funny joke. Well, you know, two of you have sent beautiful gifts and the other 11, you might not be invited. Did you see Millie Bobby Brown at the SAG? What is she doing? She looked really good. She does. But very, like, vacant. Yes. Ugh. I just don't know about that.

No, I feel like the horrors are yet to unfold in front of us. SAG. What does that stand for? Screen? Screen Actors Guild. And what does SAG Paniers stand for? Hmm. Deliciousness. Delicious cheese. Fun firm cheese.

PANEER is amazing. That is so delicious. Okay. Place mat, you're in. Place mat of all the things with a map of the bunker on the back, maybe a little maze and a crossword. And then, additionally, we have the battery that goes into a smoke detector with also the smoke detector and a beeping noise. Shrill! You might hear above the sound of the ambi-purr from time to time.

And then of course number one we have... The orange bag. Orange bag. The netting, the neon orange netting that might go around a bunch of oranges. I would be remiss if I didn't say that I love the little clamped iron closure. Love that. That's so good.

Open it but once. You should never see it closed. And when you rip open that bag, you feel like Hulk or perhaps She-Hulk. Well, I don't know about that. Don't you? Well, I don't know about She-Hulk. She-Hulk? Well... I don't know about that. Don't you? Well, I don't know about She-Hulk. She-Hulk!

Thanks for listening. Goodbye everyone. And please, don't forget to rate, review and subscribe to this Season 2 of Death There Around. We love you. Bye bye. Death There Around was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Mad Cheers. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. Bye bye.