Death To Everyone - Death To… Betrayals, After School Activities & Coffee Brewing

Episode Date: April 8, 2025

Hey hey - hello!It us - your celestial goddess overlords, back with more things to add to the doomsday bunker!EnjoyFollow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Welcome back, believe listener. Hello. Oh, hello. Hello. Who is this? My name is Zalamoone. Oh, I don'tamoone. Oh. What's your name?

I don't remember asking. Oh my God. Cybar. I got a call today from Nine Entertainment. Channel Nine. Who I have no dealings with. Channel Nine. Yeah.

Yeah. And they, I think I was being fished because I'd received an email saying that I'd get a phone call to confirm my bank details and Then they called and the guy was on the phone who did not sound like he was someone from Channel 9 Which I don't know what that sounds like but can only assume kind of like rich and gay and stuffy and not Yeah, yeah, this man had obvious stubble like grazing the phone. And he was like, we just want to confirm your bank details.

And I was like, for what job? And then he went quiet and I said, for what job? I don't know what I did for you guys. What do you, cause I was like, maybe this, it could be like, like parent company. Yeah. Like Stan is owned through them or whatever. But I was like, so what it's the story? And they're like, he was like, oh, I don't, and I was like, can you just get whoever is asking for this information

to email me or contacting separately on like a confirmed line? Cause I can't obviously confirm my bank details with you over the phone right now. That's just insane. Yeah. And he was like, oh, I was like, don't you agree? That's a crazy thing to do. And he was like, Oh, yeah, I guess so. And I was like, okay, well, goodbye. Oh my God. And did you hang up and say, I'm lazy, Susan? Ah, he did it. Yeah. I did say that. Why did I say that? I was alone. Well, cause you were intro in the podcast. Ah, through space and time.

Correct. I'm Lazy Susan. There we go. Beep beep. And today we are joined by our producer in the studio, Matches. Me, Matches. Matches. Oh gosh, that would mean such a cool rapper name.

DJ Matches. Not DJ. DJ. You just like strike matches and throw them into the crowd. Actually, funny story. One time we, when I was traveling overseas, my friends, well, I checked in before my friends and they went up to the reception. They were like, has Matt Shears checked in?

And the guy was like, I don't, he couldn't speak English very well. So he was like, I don't know. And then they went, Matt Shears, Matt Shears. And then he gave them a box of matches. And as you can tell, this is a comedy podcast filled with delightful anecdotes from real life people. Matt, I admire the storytelling there. And did you ever find out if your friends lived?

They burnt the whole place down. If you were playing a RPG and you were a mage and a caster, what genre, like what element would you control? Fire, matches, pyromancy? Or would you prefer electricity or wind, water? Is electricity an element? Well, it's like, it'd be like electric spells for sure. Okay.

To like zap. Do you have to pick? Well, in my fun hypothetical. Fire, definitely. Fire, oh, lazy? Do you have to pick? Well, in my fun hypothetical. Fire. Oh, lazy. Um, necromancy, the dead. Resurrection. Bring them back and make them fight for you.

Power from above. Yeah. What was that? What about dirt? Can you control the dirt? Can you control dirt? Yeah, like a plantress. I don't know about you, but I can't control, like control dirt. Yeah. Like a, like a, like a plantress.

I don't know about you, but I can't control dirt in my home. Everywhere. My favorite casting listener is in Final Fantasy 10, the spell for blizzara, so like the second level of blizzard where it's like a spire of ice that comes out of the ground. It's so hot, so well animated. Do you know what, Zelda? Yeah. My favorite casting was Julia Roberts in Aaron Brockovich. It was a big swing, but it landed. Yeah. And you know what? They're called boobs, Ed.

They're called boobs, Ed. You want some numbers? I'm going to learn that whole monologue. That would be so hot. Number eight, zero. That's about the amount of times you're going to call me. Yeah. Oh, we should rewatch that. We should do that for movie club. We do that every month. We do movie club every month on our Patreon.

We'll be watching a movie together. Obviously. Yeah. We've only had Patreon for two months. That's why there's only two up. But we should do another one. We know, listen, can we do like a fun graphic for it? What movie club?

Yes. So like go with the post. I guess so. That's fine. We can do whatever we want. True. I think, um, after the, after the month of May listener, this is just to give you an update, if you're new here, this isn't going to mean anything to you, but if you're old

here, welcome baby. Um, this we're going to like put like a real concerted yeah we're gonna hand the pod yeah we're gonna make ourselves new and improved we're gonna advertise we're gonna give you a glimpse of the celestial void we can't keep calling your asshole the celestial void huh huh hmm oh anyway this podcast is a show that's dedicated to the end of the world. Namely, what are we going to do with the human culture that we've created, the various hodgepodge, the detritus of the world? Well, what we're going to do is put something out, a little doomsday bunker.

So what is going to survive the end of times? You know, the apocalypse is imminent. What makes you feel apocalyptic this week, Zelderman? The switch to announcement video. Oh my God. Do you know about this theory of like inshitification? Like the inshitification of the internet? Like Facebook when it first started was like a free service that was actually relatively responsive.

It wasn't like completely congested with like AI bots and ads. And instead was just like a place where you could freely chat with your friends and share pictures and whatever. And then over time as it's tried to become profitable, it's become inshitified. Oh, yes. I see that. And so it's like we leave that, you know, the inshitification of you. Used to poke friends and now you're poking shit.

Now I'm being poked. Yeah. Yeah, sure. Um, and like the same with Grindr. I hear that that's hit its inshitification if Twitter is to be believed. Yeah, whatever. Actually, you don't know it because you pay. Yeah.

But everyone who doesn't pay is like, I literally can't touch anything without getting a pop-up ad. To my understanding, it's a shit show. And then who else? I mean, obviously, the iPhone has just not vastly improved in years. And I think that the in shitification of Nintendo products has just hit because

the switch two seems insane, baby. It hit a long time ago. Let me tell you, you've never heard of the Wii U. Um, but sadly, like it is so that all over again, I just like, yeah. So switch two was announced. Did you, are you across any of this? I have seen the little ad and then I saw that they included two mice. Oh yeah.

And I said, Oh great. The thing that I always wished I had when I was playing a game, a mouse. Yeah. So like a hard, like new generation hardware upgrade. Great. Um, like all the specs, whatever I could care less. Like we've reached a point probably with the last generation of consoles of like things look pretty good.

Performance is pretty good. Can it be pushed? Absolutely. Is a more visually attractive game more engaging? Yes, of course. I still want those advances to come as the years go by. That's fun. And that's the future, whatever. But like, do I play video games to be immersed in like graphics? No. Does anyone? Sure. Losers perhaps. But like gaming is about like computers. Yeah. Yeah. Right.

It's like gaming is about, I don't know, the games. I don't think cooking mama is greatly improved because you can see mamas frayed hams on her apron. Exactly. I don't need to see mamas flyaways or like, like absolutely not. Mama, get some hairspray. You look disgusting. Yeah. like, like absolutely not. Mama, get some hairspray. You look disgusting. Yeah.

Mama, I'm not eating that because. I saw your little clored talent. Yeah. The grit under mama's nails. It wasn't until I went back to mama that I saw how much she'd edged the bags beneath her eyes. Oh mama. She's been cooking a while.

I know. So who cares? But that's still nice, right? So like I'm never going to knock a hardware upgrade because that's fun. I'd never knock a hardware upgrade either. Okay. But what I will knock is like, so this launch video goes for also, can I say, so last week, listen, I helped a supportive store on Wednesday night, do a stock take and it went two hours over. So I, it like was meant to finish at midnight and then it finished at 2am.

And then at 11pm, of course, the Nintendo direct came out. So I was already furious that I was at work. And then I had to stay back two hours. So by the time I got home, it was about 2.45. And I had worked the next morning at 9 a.m. But of course I had to watch Nintendo Direct. So I sat on the couch at like 3 a.m. And I was like, press play. And then that was the state of mind I was in.

I was on the couch alone at 3 a.m. watching Nintendo Direct on a Wednesday night. Wait, you can't just say what Nintendo... I don't know what Nintendo Direct. So Nintendo for years now have run, like, um, on YouTube, like, a Nintendo Direct, which is them telling you directly to you, like, the news. Like, this is everything that's coming in the next few months. These are all the new games we're working on. Oh, and they're like, interminably long, boring.

Someone just sitting in a chair. Correct. Yeah. Um, and they kind of file through new game releases or updates. But like 80 of them. Yes. Uh, and sometimes they're like jam packed with like new stuff or like things you've been waiting for and it's really exciting.

And then this one was all about switch to, right. It was the switch 2 Direct, right? Yeah. And so it starts with Mario Kart World. Three in the morning, you're being lit, bathed by the light of the Nintendo Direct. And my lava lamp. And...

Quite a picture. Yeah. I know, it's a thrilling life. Don't be jealous. Uh, and so it's a thrilling life. Don't be jealous. Uh, and so Mario Kart world is, was like in the couple, like two months ago, whatever, when they announced that the switch to is indeed coming, they were like, Mario Kart will be on. It was like the only thing they showed. So that was like the opener looks amazing. Like it's like an open world Mario Kart game where like, where are you driving?

That's open. It's a race track. Well, and then you drive to the next track to what end? Well, cause you're like driving around on Mario Kart world. What are you doing in the world? Well, you can like, you can, um, yeah, like toot toot. You can go past the shops. You can't go in, of course.

Um, it's kind of cool. Like that's a cute upgrade to what is. I always wondered where Peach was between Moo Moo Farm and old West. Well, wonder no longer. So Mario Kart 8, uh, Mario Kart world, like looks great. Like it looks great. And like, whatever, whatever new game for the switch to great start. Then we go into like 40 minutes of like, or then they also go through the hardware specs of like

the mouse and whatever the fuck I'm like, okay, great. Obviously it's going to be an upgrade because it's a new console. Um, but then they just go into all the other releases for the game, which are all ports. Oh, just like cyberpunk 2077 or whatever. Like, Oh cool. That game that came out three years ago that everyone pan or like Elden ring, like great. The game that came out two years ago or like one after the other. And then they're like, all right, now this. And it's like GameCube games you can now play on Switch two.

It's like, yeah, the games that came out in the two thousands. Time to go back in time. Like I am excited for that, but like what that's not exciting. New game content for the switch two that is in brand new console. Then they describe how a lot of the Switch games will receive like a visual and performance upgrade, which you'll have to pay for for Switch 2. But they like use that as if like, now you can play Breath of the Wild and Tears of the Kingdom, but upgraded. It's like, I've already played those games.

Everyone's already played those games. This is the announcement for the new console. Where's the new shit? The other announcement was a new FromSoft game, which is exciting, which is like the Elden Ring or like Dark Souls, um, developer, which is going to be a switch exclusive and there's all this like annoying bullshit about like Sony kind of like the relationship with Sony is just like degraded over time, which is all very interesting or whatever, but it's interesting that they've moved to

Nintendo much unlike Baynetta and stuff like that. Anyway, the game comes out next year, not this year with the release. Then the direct closes off with the Donkey Kong game that also doesn't come out at launch. It comes out the month after launch. So at launch, the new game that you can play on your very expensive console is Mario Kart World. And that is it. Wow. What an enticing offer. What a joke.

A bloody joke. A bloody joke. A bloody joke. Yeah. Have they ever done Mario Kart boats? Well. We're all boats. In this version, your like cart gets like, kind of like hovers on the surface of the water,

like snaps into like a hovercraft kind of thing. And if it's in the air, it snaps into like an airplane cart kind of thing. Actually, airplane carts would be good. Yeah. But what you're describing sounds like, um, um, We're all boats. Wave Race 64. Did you ever play that? Yeah.

Oh my God. I fucking love that game. That game freaked me out. Everyone was too sexy. Everyone's so sexy. I just was like, take me back to the like, amorphous asexual Mario. I love that game. Why is that woman trying to seduce me in front of my friends? Yeah. Look at her bent over that jet ski.

Yeah. Get it. Going over jumps, going over waves. Sometimes there's dolphins. That game is so good. Well, they're not announcing it for a Switch 2. Well, it's on virtual console, so you will actually be able to play it on Switch 2. And the update. Yeah, the visual update. The other thing I am excited for is that,

because Metroid 4 comes out this year, and that will also receive a fucking upgrade for the new console, but I can just play it solely on the new console. But anyway, I was just extremely underwhelmed. It's also very expensive, which I could care less about. You buy it once, a new console is going to be expensive. Plus, what else are you spending your money on? Right. Replacement bulbs for your lava lamp? Yeah, ammo, like whatever.

The games being markedly more expensive is quite obscene. But I don't know. There's no games to buy, so who cares? Um, but anyway, that really grinded my gears this week. I think it's so funny because it is like we're in the worst of times, but then you also have a shit ton of indie developers making interesting stuff all the time. Yes. And there were some indie stuff that is, was announced, like the new Delta

Rune stuff was announced, which I still haven't played, but it looks so fun. Delta Goodrum. Yes. Thank you. Um, and yeah, but I think back to when the GameCube was announced and they had those cool GameCube ads and like a new slate of games and like, because we're not in an era of massive visual upgrades, like from pixel art to 3D, like you know, or from 64 to GameCube, from GameCube to Wii, like those are clear things. But even like PS4 to PS5, sometimes you look at like, you know, the split screen of the

two games next to each other and it's like, oh yes, the blacks are more black and you know, the lighting through the leaves is more spectacular. But the game looks essentially the same. Yeah. So it's like, if that isn't the wow factor to upgrade to the new console, then the games and the content in the games is. And if there is one game on offer, why are you launching a new console? Yeah, I mean, that's it. It's just a money making exercise. And it sounds like they're

going to make a lot of money from it. I mean, the new games will be good and there will be more, obviously. And like the switch has been out for a very long time. So like it is time for the upgrade. But I was just so underwhelmed. But I also like I don't understand. Yeah. I don't understand if you're not going to like create a new device, like in just your hardware upgrade. I'm like, just do like switch two points. Like, you know, it doesn't need to be like a whole new thing. You don't know what I mean? Like, I don't know. Well, it's also, it's tricky because the switch worked so well. And like, I do love that Nintendo has consolidated two consoles into one.

Like having the home console be the portable console, I think is great. So I am glad that they are moving forward with just that focus. Yeah. Also, like it's for a gamer perspective, like it's great. You can just continue the game in bed or in the car or whatever. So like, I love that the technology has delivered this level of performance in a handheld. That's quite a feat and cool.

Um, Oh, what was I going to say? Yeah, whatever it's gone. Yeah. But, oh, yeah. Well, thank God it's all coming to an end very soon. And, won't you tell us about Queen's Down Under? Oh, Duggar's Tape. Yeah. Well, recently listener, the girls of Down Under season four went on tour. went on tour. Initially, when the season was prepping to come out, we had been all tapped and contracted by ITD to do a five-stay tour. But then as time has gone on, and it was going

to be massive, we were going to do these like massive venues. But then as time went on, we were getting closer, it was like, became pretty obvious the tickets were just not moving for a variety of reasons. I think like, I like just less people watched down under this year, but also like there was the financial downturn and like the tickets were priced quite expensive because it's obviously quite expensive to tour 10 people, 11 people, when Reese was in there. So like we ended up having this kind of like mad dash of the month before the

tour of like, they had to cut down our dates. So we were only doing like three, like Melbourne, Sydney, Brisbane, cause they had sold enough to kind of justify us going. But it was a bit touch and go. And then we were all kind of like, Oh, we've just paid to get all these outfits made and, or at least I had that. And I'm like, no, I don't think I'm going to make any money on this tour. I think I'm actually just going to spend my money on getting a cool new outfit.

But it was like, Oh. Um, and then also we're just like still in the throes of like, we actually just need to make sure people come to this. And so suddenly we were in this like race to get people to come. And so for the last month, I think I felt so like glum about that element of like, Oh, I wish this had just been like a victory lap where it was like, Oh, we get to go on this fabulous five day tour where it was like, oh, we get to go on this fabulous five day tour and blah, blah, blah, blah.

So that's the kind of context of when we were heading into that. But then we had our first actual night show on the Friday. And once it was the 10 of us all getting together again, all the divas of Down Under, it was actually just immediately like, who cares? And we got to Chases where we were performing and the crowd was like amazing. And it was like people screaming and losing their minds as if it was like completely like packed out night. And the vibes were just immaculate.

And then the shows were so fun to do. And it was just like, I think, yeah, there was a bit of that feeling of like, oh God, we've failed or something as a cast to attract enough people to want to come see us. But then in reality, it was like, oh, but here we are and it's fabulous. And each one of these people is so talented and cool that like, this is fun. And then we went to Sydney after that and it just kind of kept being that, that energy of like, it was like, we were all suddenly back on set again, except without any of the pressure and all kind of doing something that we felt comfortable

doing, like doing a show that we wanted to do that was in our own specific style and like each girl kind of got to like turn it out and have her moment. Um, so I don't know. And like the three days turned out to like touring is fucking exhausting, but, uh, three days turned out to be like such a sweet spot of like by the third day, I think we were like so ready, like tired and a bit hungover. And then on the fourth day we like flying back home. And so it was like, it actually turned out to be such a hit and such a good vibe. And like, thank God, cause I feel like, to be honest, I don't know if ITD

is set to make money from that doer. Um, just because I don't like, it just wasn't like a gangbusters experience. Like I think that they'd kind of forecasted for, um, but I was really thankful that they like didn't just can it altogether because they think that would have just felt like such a defeat. Whereas instead we got to have this like quite lovely experience altogether. And like, wasn't like a defeat. It was like, this show is good. Like, it's probably the only time this is ever going to happen where we all get flown and paid for to be together and spend time together.

And it just was really nice. Cute. It's very cute. Very cute. I was there on Friday with Benign Girl and others, which was quite divine. The shows were fabulous. Your outfit and number was of course, incredibly blue. Thank you, sister. Do you care to speak on the...

Yes. Yes, Elva. What is it? Um, do you care to speak on the, um, the, uh, yes. Uh, yes. Ever. Uh, the, uh, what is it? The Venga bus of it all. So when we got to tour, um, everyone had brought their own track that they were going to be performing and had been rehearsing in their own time.

And then it turns out that Miss Nikita and Miss Olivia had both selected the Venga bus by the Venga boys. And I believe that is not by accident. I think it's because they're both of islander descent, the Venga boys. Oh. And so they were like repping, but let me just find out. Okay.

Can I tell you, sister, that, um, so Olivia went earlier in the night before the second appearance of the Venga. Um, and I said in my questionable tone to those around me, Oh, I bet you had to fight hard to secure performing that song. So there were no double ups and then about half an hour later, it came on again for another show. Well, good to know. Yeah. Um, okay. here we go.

Why Pacific Islanders love Vengaboys by Medium. By Medium? By Alison Dubois herself. How Europop found its place in the Pacific. When I think of my family gatherings, I hear corny Europop songs. In fact, until recently, I thought Sha-la-la-la-la, la-la, was performed by a Samoan artist. I never knew it was by the Vengaboys, a group from the Netherlands. The Samoan affinity for Euro-pop groups like Vengaboys and Aqua is shared across the Pacific.

My Pacifica friends from Fiji, Tonga, and Aotearoa recall similar family memories with laughter. Barbie girl and we like to party, make specific islander crowds dance and sing along. That is so hot. I love that. So what you didn't know was there was a reason. Yes. Our two divas. And I'm delighted by the truth. Unlike how it normally makes me feel.

That is so wild and also learning. That's cool. I did Cunt by Sophie Hunter. Had so much fun. There was a lot of like when we would arrive at a venue, we'd like, when we arrived in the Sydney venue, we're like, when we arrived in the Sydney venue, we're like, that's so interesting. Where's the wine?

And they were like, drink on a baby. And, and so imagine this, Manny Moves, who is like, she came to this pond and was like, is there any wine here? And then when there was, we had to go and buy wine. She was like, I'll be right back. And then when they were like, she was like, I'll be right back. But this is like that times 10 because it's me, Vibe, Mandy, Brenda, like all walking and we're like, where's the wine? You're like, we don't have the option now to leave.

Where's the wine? And then the venue people are like, oh, the bar people haven't arrived yet to do the rider. And I'm like, well, that's unfortunate. I guess the show's not going on. And they would bring us, we had like one bottle of vodka and one bottle of Prosecco. And then we were like, that's so nice. It would be gone in like 25 minutes. And then we were like, that's really kind.

And like, obviously all the soft drinks and bits and bulbs. We're like, but where's the second bottle of vodka and second bottle of Prosecco? And then where's the tequila? And literally like each city we went to, like bullied whoever the venue people were into giving us more vodka and more Prosecco and sometimes tequila. Yeah. And it was just beautiful to watch all of us come together as a season to make sure we got what we needed in order to give our best work. I like that.

Yeah. Important. So brave. Do you remember? No. When we did the wicked sing-along at Acme, the prepared rider in that office. Yes.

The like bowl of pickled cucumbers next to hummus. Yes. That was quite strange. But cucumbers, hummus, chip packets, chocolate, multiple bottles of wine. Multiple for just for the two of us. Just for the two. Yeah. And I don't drink.

And there was 10 drag. That's the two. Yeah. And I don't drink. And there was 10 drag. That's the thing. Find yourself a drag sister who doesn't drink, you know, and you'll find yourself with me and Benign used to just have the best time. Yes. And I'd have a Coke. And Zell is going to have a delicious Coke. She's not even going to use her drink ticket.

No, sometimes they often are like, don't worry about it. And you're like, when I try to give it over. Please sir, may I have a bubbly water? No. Anyway, that's why keep non-drinkers in your life. And then also, because I know the listener is dying to hear how it went, they had the Flower and Garden show. I was just about to ask. So that was very cute. I had actually the best time. I did-

What was the writer? DOA? So you know what? Brianna did DOA me, which I politely was like, oh, thank you. And I had a little sip and I was like, well, that's, I don't really drink. So what was the DOA? On first day, the DOA was like some pink gin, something or other, which I sucked at, you know, a little. Like a hummingbird. And then what was it on the Saturday?

Can't recall, but another alcoholic beverage. Um, but another alcoholic beverage. But it was super cute. It was so cute. So like I did a a convoluted performance to Defying Gravity Wicked, where I was like, you know, when you're like in the garden and you've got your headphones in and you like sing along and then your neighbor walks past. It's really embarrassing. I did see that. But why did they make you perform it in an emergency room?

It looked like it was lit like an operating theater. Oh my god because it was like the main hall of the like the old convention center and it was just so like when I went there on the day prior to look at, you know, just that everything was working. Venue inspection, yeah. Yes. I was like, surely the lights can be dimmed, right? And they're like, well, no, there'll actually be more lighting tomorrow.

I was like, oh my God. So anyway, yes, it was quite horrific, but I had such a fun time with that stupid performance. And then, yeah, I had four fabulous rounds of plant and garden trivia, um, which all landed quite well. How did they go finding out that Skippy is actually a female? Well, I only, across the two nights and the eight rounds of trivia, I only had to do one tiebreaker because there were clear winners and everyone else lost all the other rounds. So, and, and for that one, I did the paleo botanist, which they both got wrong.

So what? Yeah, no, they didn't see Jurassic Park. And I had them on stage and I was like, okay, so in Jurassic Park, what is like Ellie Sattler or like Laura Dern characters, what's her profession? And they were like, vet, dinosaur researcher. That kind of is right. Right. And then one of them said botanist. And I was like, well, you're all wrong. But paleobotanist is the answer. And then I gave it to the one that said botanist but anyway, so I didn't get to do it. But I did say the Skippy fun fact of like, yeah, it's great kangaroo, whatever. But that Skippy is a woman, but playing a man and the Thursday crowd were like, and the Saturday crowd gave me nothing.

The Saturday crowd, if you were there on Saturday, you know, they gave me nothing. Why do you think that was? I think they were just, um, like shell shocked. By your presence. Yes. But then after the show, I had so many people who were there for like all the sessions of trivia come up. I'm like, oh, that was so great. Da da da da. I was like, then why did you sit there in silence scowling at me for two hours? Anyway. That's the language of love. I was like, then why did you sit there in silence, scowling at me for two hours?

Anyway, that's the language of love. Yeah. And like wanting photos and all this stuff. And I was like, oh my God, but it's impossible to know what is going to go over well at a daytime gig. Yeah. No way. No, even if it does go over well, they still give you nothing. Oh, but my favorite part was that the queen prize of both nights were tomatoes from my garden.

And when I gave them out both times, everyone in the crowd was like, oh, and the woman that I gave it to on the Thursday night was so lovely. She was there with like her two girlfriends. They were probably like mid sixties and she like lost. She was like terrible, but she was having a good time. And then I was like, okay, well that's all the prizes done, but I have a bonus prize for my favorite in the crowd. And I was like, you know, it's you. And she was like, I do know. And I was like, the prize is a tomato from my garden. And she was like, oh my God.

It was really cute. Well, I guess I'm glad you found your people. Yeah. It was so cute. Anyway, I'm like, do I have to carry this now? For the rest of the flower and garden show? A single tomato. It's like when I robbed the myth opening night

party of all those tomatoes and put them down my top and I was like why did I do this? I just they were gonna throw them out. Sorry? There were platters with whole tomatoes. Oh the giant ear long tomatoes. Yes I remember this. And I was like we can't just let this go. They they were just garnishes. Anyway. Quite delightful. Oh, divine. Anyway, anyway, anyway.

Yeah, anyway. So how does the world end? Okay. So this came to me just before when we were setting up for the podcast, but everyone gets... So you know, like in medieval times, and also probably today, I can't fact check everything, have you heard of like the rat king? Yes. How like rats get their tails entwined and then they just create a big ball of rats?

Yes. So that happens, but, you know, to every delineation of species on the planet. Yeah. So like, um, everyone's kinging together. Human kings, giraffe kings, whale kings. Yeah. And there's just kind of like Katamari really. Yeah.

Um, so there's these like, yeah, ever growing Katamaris of kings. But different species? Huh? You want them to like all be together? Or all distinct balls? I think it starts as distinct and then the Katamari effect comes in. Perhaps the prince comes and rolls them up. And yeah, it's all just one big king Katamari. And then that's it.

I know everyone obviously dies. Yeah, crushed, crushed by the wheel. Yes. How good. And listener, if you haven't played Katamari Damacy, I don't know what's wrong with you. Yeah. Okay. We'll be right back.

Bye bye. Hello. Hola, Mr. Morris. Listener. It's time for our first topic of discussion. I'm off to deep end. Now, listener, lazy Susan, the question is, which betrayal goes into the bunker? Oh, that's so good.

Oh, bah. What are my favorite portrayals? Well, obviously can't go past Jesus, the original betrayal when he was portrayed by Judas. But I actually don't know what happened there. So it's like, I hear that a lot. It's bandied about, but I've never read the Bible. Okay. So I did go to Catholic primary school and high school. Judas. Judas was asked, no, what was it? Judas was asked if he like knew Jesus or something. And he was

like, no, I don't know her. And then, or like something like that. I don't know. It like, wasn't that bad. Maybe. I don't know. It like, wasn't that bad? Maybe. I don't know. It did result in Jews as being crucified, but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I just- Get over it. Well, he was just jealous.

Yeah. I kind of think, like, I mean, like, I know that this is like the fundamental text that inspired, like, all the world religions. Well, all the Christian-based world religions. Well, all the Christian-based world religions. But if God has the power to resurrect His only Son on earth, Jesus Christ, I just think then you probably... Necromancy. Yes. You probably also have the power, and listen, I don't want to tell tales like tell the school, but like you probably also have the power then to like intervene at any point before the crucifixion. At which point it was like, okay, so you were trying to prove a point.

Well, that's exactly it. Yeah. And that I think like, I mean, obviously I'm not Catholic, but yeah, it's like the argument in high school or whatever was always like, yeah, but it had to happen that way because faith. Yeah. Which part that, but yeah, it's like, well then, okay, then why not? Like it's like, where are we drawing the line? And then also it's like, if you have the power to stop something and don't stop it, then

you're also culpable. Yeah. You're just as bad. You know what Victoria Beckham would say? You say. She said, give me the mic, Ginger. I'm going to sing this one. AIDS.

Oh, that one. But like, yeah, it's like, if you have the power to stop something and you do not, then that is on you, bitch. God. Yeah. I would describe God as a bitch. God is a bit of a freak. Why is he watching me getting plowed? Why is he watching me getting plowed?

Yeah. Yeah. Why is he watching me getting nailed on the couch, staying pure for a wedding? He's got fucked up priorities. God is a bit of a freak. Are you singing something from a hilarious musical? No, that's Peach P.S.E. Oh.

Who I'm going to hang out with when I force her to hang out with me at gay days. We didn't even speak about the Joel Creasy gig. Joel Creasy. Let's go to that. Yeah, Zelda and I, that was a betrayal. In a way, I feel like I did betray Joel Creasy because so many people came up to me and were like, he would never wear that shirt. So we were invited by Joel Creasy,

Australian comedian, gay comedian and radio personality Australian comedian, gay comedian and radio personality to present as them and be like, invite people to their fabulous star studded after party after their Melbourne International Comedy Festival show. And this is like a noble tradition. There's been like many divas that have betrayed Reese, Reese, oh my god, Joel Creasy at various events and including like Hannah Conda. Did you say portrayed or betrayed? Por que no los dos? And so Zelda and I did that the other night and it was very fun and then we got very well I got very drunk and all the Sydney Real Housewives were there. Yeah.

At this like tiny little party. Yeah. And like Ursula Carlson and like a bunch of other divas and divas from Tink Tonk and Joel's like hot model husband. He was very handsome. Yeah. Yeah. He's one of the people that told me that my shirt was hideous. He wasn't wrong. I was like, I thought I was, I thought I was hitting the brief. Um, no, but that's fine. Yeah. Do I live listening? I didn't mean to betray you with my shirt choice.

Yeah. Uh, but yes, it was quite fun. Mm. Anywho. Okay. Um, betrayals. I, I mean, Game of Thrones or like Song of Fire and Ice, there are many betrayals across that story, but did you watch?

No. Oh, really? Okay. So then listener, um, Matt, did you watch? Oh yeah. Yeah. Okay. Listener and Matt.

Um, which one? I think my favorite betrayal is Cersei to the Tyrells blowing up the sept. Oh yes. Yep. Like that was such a fucking scene. The green fire slowly crawling through the underground to then explode the entire, like, religious state. Um, and her enemies can, like, confined within. So hot. And then you just, it just like cuts to her standing at the window, just like doing a tiny smile.

Yes. Holding a goblet of wine. Has a little sip. It's so good. And when Marjorie like realizes, oh. Yeah, cause she got the, yeah, she got the realization before it happened. And she's like, we got to get out of here. And they're like, what?

We're here for the, whatever. The wedding. She's like, get out. And then the like gaybo's there and he's like miserable or whatever. Dead. Oh, that's a great betrayal. Hmm. Yeah. Yeah, I believe.

Yeah. So I like that. What about Caesar? Caesar, classic betrayal by Brutus, right? Brutal. Brutal. What? Brutus. Just stabbed him in the back.

And then what did he say? It's like the famous thing that Caesar says. He said, you better watch your back, bitch. He said, we'll work it out on the remake. He said, not in front of my salad. J.Lo, ultimate betrayer. Betrayed by who? No, she betrayed.

The public. Yeah, I'd agree. She was betrayed, She betrayed Mariah. What? Well, I don't think they were friends, but she was like the, you know, took Mariah's tracks and like made her whole career on the back of her, Mariah's old producer and ex-husband. I didn't know that. Yeah.

That's hard. Because JLo was invented as a way of getting back at Mariah by her ex-husband. Oh my God. You know that. I don't know that. I just know that, I don't think that's true because she's from the block. That's what I know about her. I know that she's real, even on Oprah.

Hmm. Oh my God, sorry. This is so annoying. Mariah. Mariah Carey? What was I gonna... Okay, so the... I don't know if it's related to Caesar, but the Trojan horse, it's kind

of a betrayal of a fabulous gift. Tommy LaTolla, sorry. What betrayed? The Trojan horse. Oh. He's a fabulous horse. No. Gift?

There's many men inside. Hmm. Again. The gift got better. You'd think that's a great gift, but then the men kill you instead of fucking you. Not a great gift after all. Wow. This couldn't be more disappointing.

You gave me the horse and for what? You've made a hole in it by all climbing out, I assume. Yes. Imagine if the Statue of Liberty, they found like Skellingtons of dead Frenchmen that were sent to kill all the... The hatchery didn't open. Yeah. They were like, oh, they just got dead in there.

Copper poisoning. Or, because isn't the statue on like a little island? Ellis Island. Ellis. You know what happens when a toad was struck by lightning? Yeah, same thing. It was David then he asked. Yeah. Um, what did you think about the Avengers announcement?

Bitch, what? What? What's the announcement? All 27 key cast for Avengers Doomsday were announced this week. That was a betrayal. Including many of the X-Men, classic X-Men. Not Halle Berry, thank fuck. Not Halle Berry. No, but James is in X-Men. Not Halle Berry, thank fuck. Not Halle Berry?

No, but James is in. You don't like Halle Berry? Halle Berry's performance as Storm, as Aurora Monroe, no idea. I just gave a line reading that says otherwise. Yeah, but that's like, we like that line because it mocks her. You know what happens to her. No, that's a great line. Yeah, delivered by a hack. Oh, that's a great line. Yeah.

Delivered by a hack. Oh, leave Hallie alone. Hallie. God, the desperation. Oh, anyway. It's so like... The other thing, oh, you say. I mean, like, it's a bit flopped in on Turner to be like, everyone's back, don't worry, everyone's back.

I'm like, weren't you guys doing like a whole separate thing for a second there? Relax. Didn't you retire all those guys? Relax. And now they're like worry, everyone's back. I'm like, weren't you guys doing like a whole separate thing for a second there? Relax. Didn't you retire all those guys? Relax. And now they're like, quick, come back. Relax. You just can't keep things together, you know?

It's like a divorced family at Christmas time. They're like, dad's back, dad's back. It's okay. It's like before. The insanely hot actor who's playing Namor, whose name is... Oh, I don't know how to pronounce his name, but it's like... Tenok? Huerta? He like plays Namor?

Did you see Wakanda Forever? No, I didn't see Wakanda Forever. Just keep hoping that he's seen something. Surely we have something in common. Fuck. But anyway, look at how hot this man is. Zelda, I've seen them all. I've seen all the Marvels.

Isn't he hot? You can talk to me about it. I just can't believe... I just, I don't know what the line is. Like, when have you been betrayed enough by these films? Just stop watching. That's a good betrayal. Well, let me tell you.

Fucking Captain America Brave New World or whatever the fuck. Did you see that? Yeah. But I watched it at home Isn't that the line then we just say no more No, his name is name or Name or he's the first mutant And King of Atlantis anyway, um, but he is gonna be in doomsday

Which is great because I thought he wasn't because there was some probo thing that came out after Wakanda But I can't remember what it was.. Turns out it wasn't the deal. He's not canceled. Yeah. Um, he's so hot. Anyway. Um, just watch porn. But yes, to your point, I did feel betrayed by losing two hours of my life to that movie. But you've lost two hours of your life to like, not just that film. Yeah. Many,

many. It's been the last three years of your life. No, Daredevil's on at the moment. It's great. Mostly. I just don't think that's true. It is good. Charlie Cox. Just watch porn. Yeah, Betrayal of Time. Yes.

And like now this doomsday of it all, bitch. No. No, it's fine. It'll be fine. I mean, think about it. This other thing. You could be doing something else. True.

Anything else. You've given these people enough. You've given Nintendo enough. And all they do is just take your money and laugh at you. I know. And say, imagine if you go watch Daisy drive between the fun games. Like Katy Perry's daughter. Sure. Is she in it? Oh, Daisy. They've got Daisy Katy Perry's daughter in the new Super Smash Brothers update. No, there was no announcement of a Smash Brothers. Oh, no. They announced a new Kirby game. Oh, so that's when they announced.

Who fucking cares? Kirby races? He's a racist. It's all writers, raiders? Anyway, it's like a Kirby racing game. Like a sequel to a game from like 20 years ago, whatever. Which is cute, except that the other major announcement was fucking Mario Kart.

So who gives a shit about a Kirby version? True. Oh! Anyway! And the game that people would have actually wanted is Diddy Kong Racing, because that did have a different point of view, being they were all in delightful little airplanes, and that's where Banjo was first introduced. Which of course I know you know, listener.

Hello! What the fuck? Also! Oh my god. She's still ranting. introduced, which of course I know you know, listener. Hello. What the fuck? Also. Oh my God. She's still ranting. Oh, I just, it's, yeah. You sound like me when I'm talking about that woman from Spotlight who slidered me. We'll have to set up a new podcast called... Zelda Games.

Zelda... No. Zelda Rants. No. Why Rants. No. Why would I rant? To have to be segregated off to a separate podcast. Zelda, I've already made a whole separate podcast.

But when Lazy talks about crickets, it's applauded by all. Clearly you've not listened to my side podcast, Lazy and the Crickets. I hear crickets all the time. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway, betrayal. Betrayals. I do feel betrayed by the Pokemon company and their fucking luckluster games. Can you believe that a game like Pokemon AZ is coming out this year, 2025, looking like it indeed is a GameCube

game? I'm betrayed by that. I have been told off by Mandy Moobz for talking about Pokemon on this podcast in a disparaging way. And so I cannot say the things that I want to say about those hideous games and those hideous creatures. I just think, you know what, actually, my pitch, Pokemon Extinction. Okay. It's an extinction event that takes place in, you know, Viridian City or whatever the fuck. Is that not one? It is. It is. I'm on the road to Viridian City. Take us back. I'm on the road. I'm on the road. Anyway. Yeah. Asteroid Comes kills all the Pokemon. Asteroid Comes?

And then it's a survival horror game where you are using some of the surviving Pokemon to like fight in the wasteland. You know what? I never played Gale of Darkness and that indeed will be available on Switch 2 on the GameCube Virtual Console. What's Gale of Darkness? It was like a GameCube game where you, do you have Umbreon and Espeon or do you pick between the two at the start?

I don't know. But all the Pokemon are like controlled by evil and you have to like cleanse them or whatever. I think I never played it. It came out 20 years ago. But anyway, I'm gonna play it when it comes out on Switch 2. That's the game I'm most excited for.

What the fuck? Well good. Well good. Okay, betrayal. I mean, there are games that are specifically set up around forcing people to betray each other, you know, like werewolf and assassins and blood on the clock tower. And I hate those betrayal moments, like when you're with your friends, you know? Yeah. And betrayal never're with your friends. Oh. You know? Yeah, betrayal never comes from your enemies. Oh my God, that's so true.

What? At least you know where you stand with your enemies. Yeah. Ugh. I just, I believe so much in, you know, loyalty. I don't know that I can handle a betrayal. I was, right. I was at a friend's on the weekend.

Hi Sam. And he had a version of like werewolf that was like something Hitler. Yes, like Hitler. Yeah. And I said, well, but isn't it not so great if Hitler wins at the end, as opposed to like if the werewolf wins and you're like, oh, that's fun. You did it. Yeah.

So what? Hitler wins? Yeah. And he was like, well, Hitler's like a Tyrannosaurus Rex in this version. Oh, okay. Well, it's still Hitler. Even if it is a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway. Well, I didn't design the game. Hitler betrayed the German people. And yes. Yeah. Yeah. What else? Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal.

I mean, obviously, Lindsay Lohan betrayed the plastics when she took all their secrets and oh no, she didn't do that part. What? You know, in Mean Girls. Yes. She like betrays their trust by like sneaking up and like stealing their gossip and feeding it back to those art school freaks. She betrays.

See those ones aren't that, they're not that stingy. Cause like the real betrayals like are really personal, you know? Like, and you never see it coming. Well, have you ever been betrayed, Matt? Um, I don't think so. No, not yet. Not yet. What about...

Next week it'll be someone else producing the podcast. Yes. Oh my god. Um, remember that one episode where we had Sam? Sam. Sam. Sam's coming back full time. Coming.

Um, what about when she betrayed the environment by littering all those papers? Yeah. Rachel McAdams. Yeah. Yeah. No, like, um, what's the, the Disney movie, speaking of Disney, the lion king, you know, how, um, scar. Yeah.

Scar. What? He's betrayed Mufasa. Mufasa. Mufasa. That's right. Yeah. You know who Jones around pushes him off that cliff? Yeah.

He puts his claws in his arms. You know? Helps me, brother. When he's holding onto the cliff? Yeah. Then he falls into the thing? Yeah. He falls into the little beast.

Scar did that. Scar did that. Yeah. Which is Hamlet, right? Is it? Is it Hamlet or Macbeth? I get the two flipped around in my brain. There's no witches in The Lion King. Mmm. If there was, who would it be?

Um, Rowan Atkinson Bird. I was going to say Zazu. Zazu. Yeah, she's got witch energy. Pazuzu. Yeah, Pazuzu. Yeah. A betrayal.

Good. Um... I mean, I loved it when Kim K betrayed Taylor Swift's trust. When Taylor... She did. You know, it was when like the birth of the reputation era, where like Kanye had like supposedly mended fences with Taylor Swift. And then he put out that song where he was like lying in bed with all those like wax models of all these famous people,

including Taylor Swift. And in the lyrics, there was that lyric that was like, I made that bitch famous. And then like, Taylor was like, oh my God, this is really shocking. Why the fuck would you do that? And he was like, we had your permission. And she's like, no, God, this is really shocking. Why the fuck would you do that? And he was like, we had your permission. And she's like, no, you fucking didn't. And then Kim K released

an audio recording of them talking to Taylor Swift, being like, do we have your permission to do this thing? And then she's like, yeah, that's so funny. And then everyone was like, Taylor's a liar who's playing the nice girl. But then it was later revealed that they hadn't gotten it for calling her a bitch, which was the part that she was reacting to. And then, yeah, that's when Taylor got all those snake emojis in her DMs. And that's why snakes became the central image. Wow. Or when Tati Westbrook betrayed James Charles by saying that, you know, he was And you did it at my birthday party.

Talking about gay shit and hitting on her waiter. Yeah. She is such a, like, dry biscuit. Oh, what about this? Saifah in the Matrix? He betrayed the Nebuchadnezzar. Yeah. And leads to my favorite line in all cinema history.

Not like this. Not like this. Not like this. I also was like, if I was in that ship with those rough, hewn cotton shirts. Yeah. And that awful lighting. Yep. Kill me now. Your betrayal couldn't come soon enough. Do you often think about how far that needle goes into the brain?

That plug was so long. I just think about, like, their weird cave orgies. Yes. I am like, I don't want to live here. This place is too much. It looks like a PlayStation 2 ad. Yeah. Those people stress me out.

Love that PlayStation 2 Matrix game was canon. That's so cool. That is cool. They don't do it like the Wachowskis. Betrayal. What about when Justin Baldoni betrayed Blake Lively recently in the media? Anyway, that's all. That sounds really boring, that whole thing.

Actually it is so, I tell you what, nothing's ever been more boring than all of that. Like what a nightmare. That betrayal? No, just those two fighting. I'm like, I actually don't think Blake Lively is, like someone's trying to answer recently, like who gay people don't care about. Like which fabulous women gay men don't care about. Yeah.

I think Blake Lively is one of them. Oh, I don't care. Hey Alexa, can you please Google, what's my favorite betrayal and then read what you find? Your audible library has 12 titles. Some recent ones include when the body says no. I, Matt, have you been listening to when the body says no? No, I haven't, but that's a good one. Maybe your own body.

Have you been betrayed by your own body? Sometimes. Yeah, actually. Yeah. I'm always betrayed by my body when I sweat like a bitch. Yeah. Sweat. But like, I just don't think anyone's ever done it like me. Sweating? Yeah.

Yeah. Right. Right. Sweating. Sweating. I just, do you know what? Okay. So here's my other little story. Yeah. I'm glad we're burying this one a little bit deeper into the pod because, um... You don't want it at the front end? No. I hope she doesn't listen.

Most people turn off after this. She. Jennifer Garner. No, what I will say, oh, I really, well, you know what? I want to say it anyway, just because I just need to say it. Who? No, I was on this shoot for City of Melbourne, which is so exciting. And thank you so much for having me.

It was a thrill. For an upcoming City of Melbourne ad that I hope I don't get cut out of, where I was the drag queen and I come down a flight of stairs at the Regent Theater and I go, it's mel-tastic. What? It's mel-ber-ific or something like that. Oh, I thought you said it's smell-tastic. It's Melborific or something like that. Oh, I thought you said it's smell-tastic. It's smell-tastic.

It smells fantastic. So I arrive and they're running around trying to get all of these shots done at various Melbourne landmarks. But they've sent ahead the makeup, the makeup artists, Mua. There was a Mua. A Mua. And they knew that the Mua like didn't have to do my makeup because I was coming in geesh and in paint, uh, but she was going to come essentially to help me

with anything I needed. Okay. So she arrives and I'm like, Hey, she's like, what do you need? Anything you need? And then she's like this fabulous woman in her like forties. Like she's been doing it since like the nineties. Um, that doesn't make sense. Just, I think she's in her fifties.

Um, but she's like done it all. Yeah. Um, anyway, so she, I was like, Oh, the one thing maybe we could like get a steamer on this thing that I'm wearing. She's like, Oh, I don't have a steamer. And I was like, Oh, she's like, I do in my car, but it's 30 minutes walk away. And I mean, 30 minutes walk away. I was like, Oh, okay.

So, and then I was like, Oh, and can I like get these actually do you have a safety? I don't have a safety pin. I was like, but your costume and makeup, right? Like certainly that's Oh, she was costume and make. Yeah. Sorry. I'm not portraying that. Yeah. I was going to say, well, I mean, she shouldn't have a safety pin. No, no. What if she needs to get someone's makeup back on? And then I was like, okay, like we're heading down to go and shoot. It's Meltastic and we're like shooting and I'm like, at that point it's like, she's my only point of contact with the production. And there's this like moments where I'm like, I'm facing down the steps and I've got a giant cape and a giant train and I need to go backwards on each take because

they're wearing stilettos, but I don't want to turn around and fuck up the train position. I just want to step back, but I can't step back. So I need someone to like physically lift the train and then I can step back safely. And we do it the first time and I can step back safely. Yep. And we do it the first time and I'm also like, can we just get her like a quick blot on the sweat? She's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, thank you, thank you. That's great. I step back. Then like we do it the next time, call cut and I look over and she's just kind of like looking around and like Diva, we're in a row. And then she like leaves again. I'm like, no, you need to come back and blot me. I'm sweaty again. As soon as we started rolling, I'm like, and she's like, got my little

powder puff and she looks at it and she's like, that is disgusting. I'm not touching. Like she was like, I was like, I'm a drag queen. I'm sorry, but that's like, yeah, this is just how my own personal powder puff looks because it's only going on my face. And then at some point she's like blotting my face and I'm like, and she's like, have you like, what do you use? Like, have you used a setting spray?

And I'm like, yeah. She's like, have you used it like a primer? And I'm like, yes. She's like, right. And I'm like, sorry, bitch, but what? Oh my God. It is not your time to like give like a little bit of like, right. And I'm like, sorry, bitch, but what? Oh my God. It is not your time to like give like a little bit of like, what's going on here? I was like, that might have been a conversation for like when we were upstairs and things

were still within kind of reach of being changed and fixed and whatever. Anyway, so each time we call cut, she's like, nowhere to be seen. And I'm like, come on, can we like get this? Yeah. And then I, at one point we're like resetting and we have a bit longer and I get my mirror and I see that my like lace had like gone back a little bit and left like, there was like a little bit where it had rubbed off the top contour of my forehead.

And I look at her and I was like, Hey, what's going on here? And she's like, yeah, I know. And I'm like, sorry? What do you know? I don't have a mirror. Yeah. You are the fucking makeup artist. Yeah. What do you mean? You know? No. Diva. Some of these divas, like, I don't understand what we're doing here because that is the one thing you can do for me. Yeah. No. What do you mean? And then also my lace, which I left, I'd like lost my spirit gum on tour.

So I actually didn't have spirit gum and I was like, it's okay. I'll just take the Got2B and do like a lace lay with the got to be glued, which is normally fine, but obviously not if you're like sweating and whatever. And she's like over there when I'm like trying to lay the lace and then she's like, um, do you like not like spirit gum or something? And I'm like, sorry, I'm sorry, but what is happening right now? And I'm like trying to remember my line, like it's Meltastic. And I'm like, why are you doing this? And I was like, I'm thinking about getting Botox and she's like, yeah.

And I was like, fuck me. Oh my God. Let me breathe. Let me live. But we have landed on our betrayal. Yeah. Fuck. You're so right. Let me live. But we have landed on our betrayal. Yeah, fuck! You're so right.

Okay, listen, I will say this listener. We on the set of The Sizzle Reel that I shot had Zelda Moon there to watch over only the drag makeup and just the drag queen as a moa. Moa? But literally, like if you have a drag queen on your set and you don't have a drag queen watching her, I just don't think it's possible. No.

Because no one else fucking gets it. I don't know why, but like a drag queen is like clocking that the lace is slipping, that something is happening. And like I said that when we were like leaving the set, like I was like, oh, we just shot this thing, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like we did have a drag queen that was just, and she's like, oh, what is she? Is she a makeup artist? I was like, oh, she's a drag queen and she's also trained makeup artist.

And then I was like, but you know, it's like any film you have a drag queen, I just think you can't have a makeup artist who's just a makeup artist because they just don't understand. And I was like saying to her face, but I was like, as you have proven here today, because like Diva. Like drag, I mean, like you are exceptionally sweaty,

but any of us would be sweaty. Yeah. Like, and especially like on set, like there's a lot of lights and like, da da da da da, costumes are just, uh, hot. There's many layers. So like any drag queen needs the sweat watch, especially for film. And I also think it's like, and also like the, the gloss had slowly like started migrating on the lip.

And it was stuff like that where I'm just like, I actually just need someone who's like super, super, super attentive to just that. Like it's so intense because it's in drag. Like I think in your regular day to day, like say your hair is done in a shoot, you can feel a little bit more of your body to know when something's gone off.

With drag, it's like you're so insulated from your own senses of yourself, because it's not actually your hair. It's not actually your tits. It's not actually your hips. So if something shifts or moves that you can't see because you're like in the middle of a scene, I need you to tell me.

Yes. Oh, that is a betrayal need you to tell me. Yes. Oh, that is a betrayal that you've experienced recently. I think we've both experienced in time. Yeah. And that's a great betrayal. That's what we go in. That's perfect.

Well, actually, as a little addendum to that and to really like throw my full diva mode, I was back at the Australian Centre for Contemporary Art on Thursday, just before our Reese gig, which was very funny because it was this like fabulous opening. And I was dressed as Reese Nicholson at this fabulous opening. And people, no one like acknowledged that I was dressed as Reese Nicholson. I think it just looked like a trans woman on the beginning of her journey. I was dressed in super casual, everyday wear with a short little spiky haircut. Yeah. And a full beat.

Yeah. But a beat that was soft to look like draggy. But I was like, this is not how I normally look. And people were like, you look so incredible. And I was like, this is not how I normally look. People are like, you look so incredible. And I was like, no, shut up. But anyway, then I saw the Divas and I was like, just quickly, okay, so a little bit of backstory here. When I was so lucky to be invited by the head of ACCA, Miles, to come and exhibit some of my work from Drag Race Down Under at ACCA for one night only and do like an artist talk. And it was very incredible. And to like cherry on top the entire experience, they had a photographer come in and do photos. And then those photos were then sent to Harper's Bazaar, who ran a story on it as like this Melbourne drag queen is the one to watch.

Yeah. Yeah. And that is amazing, except for one little detail. They were the most, it was like monkey's paw situation. I wish one day I could be in Harper's Bazaar. And then the monkey's paw went down and it was like, you shall have it my queen, but you'll be lit by

halogen downlights and you'll look awful. And these photos of every single drag who is there, you, me and mum are all haunted. Yes. Terrible photos of us. Yes. I, not a reflection necessarily on this are all haunted, terrible photos of us. It's not a reflection necessarily on this photographer who, I don't know, has maybe not had experience photographing drag queens

and is getting more like raw, on the street, but like, I was like, when I saw the women at the Acre the other night, I was like, so how the fuck were those photos going into Harper's Bazaar? And they were like, what do you mean? I thought they were really good. And I was like, no, they were the most cursed images in the whole world. And now forevermore, my search engine optimization is Lazy Susan and then Drag Queen. And then that photo where my eyes are like two piss holes in the snow and my hair is like

Frizzed out frayed like Lady Gaga like performing in front of an Ikea wig and bitch. It was so Yeah People and the betrayal that was another another betrayal. That's a betrayal. Yeah. That is truly like, who do you want to send home tonight? That bitch. Yeah, totally. I just am like, if I had known, if I had known,

because like we'd heard rumblings that maybe Harpers would be picking it up. Had I known the ring light that would have been there, the oversight on those images that would have taken place. They're like, let's go and find a really interesting dynamic location for these photos. Yeah. No, no. Yeah.

And if you've ever looked good, looking bad is just such a pain in the ass. I agree. Okay. So we're going to put in like an, uh, an unattentive middle-aged makeup artist. Yes. Yeah. Who is, who, yeah. Yeah.

Who is definitely fabulous. Yes, but just not well versed in the art of drag. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Lock it in. Welcome back. You thought we were gone, but now we're back. It's time for the next round.

Let's get on track. Okay. Now, before we dive in, I think we should talk about the elephant in the room. Sorry to call you that. Your husband has arrived. My husband is here. He's going to... Okay, here's the thing.

Husband Kirjan was at the gym while we were doing something equally strenuous, doing this and having a conversation with each other, listening to Matt's matcha story. And now he's come to collect us to go and watch the finale episode, the finale of White Lotus. White Lotus. White Lotus. However, we're not done yet. We still got a few more topics to roll through. We said we'll be done by six and now it's 10 past six and we've done one of three topics.

But he's here. He does not have a microphone. However, my proposition is as such, husband Kurjan has listened to this podcast, has held me accountable to things I've said in this podcast, he's got a complicated relationship with this podcast. I propose, Elder Moon, that we let him use the microphone to have a statement from the heart and then never again. Okay. Okay.

So, Kurjan? On the spot. This is your time beginning now Assuming your listeners after a good start I this is I husband curgeon I'm just getting used to being able to hear myself in these podcast headphones in this strangely red- red bathed room.

Once Matt, she has opened his zombie apocalypse bunker door to let me in. You've got it. Sorry, husband, you speak into the microphone. Oh, into the microphone. Sorry. Not that crazy. Um, my, uh, deep heartfelt, uh, statement, um, I categorically deny everything that Lizzie Susan has ever said about me.

And I will be making no further comments from here and my lawyer will be on the next episode of the podcast to provide further clarification. Perfect. Thank you. You represented by Andrea Waterbottle of Horton and Water. Horton and Water is an entertainment lawyer. True. He doesn't do divorces.

But what if I find the divorce entertaining? Well, that was a great statement. Thank you, husband, Kirjan. Thank you, Kirjan. You're welcome. Ah! Okay, so next topic for discussion today. I'm useful. Yeah, lazy. Fucking ass! Okay, so next topic for discussion today.

I'm lousy. Yeah, lazy. The next topic I have brought to share is which after school activity? Not tennis. We will one day be proud parents. Right? No. No?

No. The changeling that comes to the celestial void. We raise as our own. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Um, what will we enroll that child into? Well, not tennis. Do you think like, like just quietly back on surrogacy? Yeah. It seems hard. Back on. Yeah. I don't know. It just stresses me out how much like surrogacy is weird. Yeah. Like I'm like, what? That like some like, it makes me feel like an alien queen. Yes. Like I'm like, impregnate the woman and then never see her again. What do you think about the situation where like,

lesbana couple, gay guy, and this is like, like not just the conversation I had with my friend on the weekend, but like it's a thing that happens. Why are you talking to your friends at the flower and garden show? Because, and like, so the egg from one woman is put in the other woman as the incubator. Yeah. The alien mother. Everyone's part of this in the thrutle.

That's a bit strange. Oh, so you think it's strange. Oh, Matt. I don't think you need to put an egg from another person in another person. Cause you want to have like- Everyone's part of the soup. Like when the baby is born. It's Stardew Valley.

Everyone's had a little ancient wine to the soup. Everyone's had a little part of them. Well, it's not just that. It's also like a way of protecting your rights as a parent. True. Because if you were the person, the birth mother, but it's someone else's egg, then I think you both can make legal claim to the child.

Wow. The child. the child. Wow. The child. The child. Yeah. Bring me the child. That's wacko. Well, you know what, Matt? We live in a wacko world now.

Not all of us can just put our dicks inside of a vagina and nine months later have a baby come out. Yeah. You can, but I mean, we just choose not to. You made the choice not to. That is true. We could do that. Ew. That's crazy.

I won't. I sure. Personally. And that's your choice and that's your right. Yeah. So back off ladies. I won't come inside you, actually. We are putting our foot down.

You've got to stop calling us. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. I'm going to close that hotline. You're all so desperate. Yeah. Yeah.

What topic did you say? I said, which after-school activity? Oh, right. Not impregnating teenage girls. Well. Or any girls. Well, exactly. Yeah. Aged girls. Agedregnating teenage girls. Well, or any girls. Well, exactly. Yeah.

Um, aged girls, old geriatric girls. Yeah. Um. That woman doll. Woman doll. Yeah. My dad's getting movers and he's put that woman doll in a box. And do you know what?

I was talking to him the other day on the telephone and he said to me, I think she'd be such a great prop for like a talk show side person. And she is so real, except her genitals that have been ravaged. By whom? Some, imagine you tune into your new favorite drag TV talk show and then they're like, what do you think about that, Caitlin? And then it cuts to the side woman, Caitlin.

And it's the sex doll that you used to fuck for many years. Yeah. And what has come leaking out? You're like, she was once mine, and now she's a star. I thought I put her in Hard Rubbish. That's right. I threw her away, and now look at her on the television, on Channel 31. Mmm.

Up next, Fishcam. Uh, okay. So not tennis. I had to do tennis and I hated it. I don't know if I told you. I would never have guessed that you would have hated that. Like my parents played tennis and my brother played tennis. On clay courts or what?

What? What? What kind of court? Ontika. Hmm? Yeah. Which is so annoying because then you have to walk around with the mat and smooth it out afterwards. Ugh.

That was nice. I do tennis. I liked it. I didn't. Matt, you would be great at tennis. You'd look great in tennis socks and a little pleated skirt. That's true. Putting the ball up there in the side there. In the what? In the side. You know how they Putting the ball up there in the side there. In the what? In the side. You know how they tuck the ball up their skirt? Yes, I do like that.

That I like. Yeah. It's like the little spot where you put the tennis thing and the clip for the ball. The women's outfits, they don't have pockets. So they just shove it up theiror shorts, like on the side. The way are they like shorts that go over like a skirt that goes over shorts? Yeah. It's like, um, like skin tight shorts with a skirt around it as well.

That's hot. And they just stick the ball up inside. Yeah. Not in the front, like on the side. No one said in the front. Well, you sneaked it. So I had to just, I was laughing about that. Because you just keep saying it, shove it up.

Just thinking about that hilarious story about the matches you were telling at the start of the episode. We can't catch one ourselves. The loves will continue to roll. And I got hit in the face by a tennis ball once and I fainted. And then another time, at a fucking fundraiser for the tennis club, Tugaroog Tennis Club, I was having my first experience on helium and I fainted and fell into the helium canister

and knocked my head. That doesn't seem like a tennis related issue that sounds like a huge- Well, if there was no tennis, there'd be no tennis club and I wouldn't have fainted on that. There'd be no helium, no fabulous helium. Yeah, so not that. Also, like, I just, I didn't want to do tennis, but I was forced to until I

stopped and then I started doing karate, which I wanted to do. And that was quite cool. Do you think that's funny how like karate came to like, you know, the Western world in the form of the dojo and the karate kid movie where every kid wanted to be karate queen. Yes. And then it was quickly like, oh, you do karate? Sorry, I do taekwondo. Right? And it suddenly became so much cooler to do taekwondo.

Yeah. No. And then what? Now it's like Mai Tai or whatever. Judo. No, it's fully about, and then like, yeah. Brazilian Jiu Judo. Oh, no, it's fully about, and then like, yeah. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. Yeah.

I want to do Aikido. Listener, if you're my friend, do you want to do Aikido with me? Send me a message. Are you talking to Chat GQT? I was looking into Steven Seagal the other day, who like was famously like a bit of a shithead and then like went to Japan because he married this Japanese woman and her father ran a like karate studio. And he became a black belt and then like went back to America and became an action star based on him being like a karate master, black belt, like before karate was a thing here.

And then like in reports later on people like, no, he was a massive liar. And they were basically just so bored of his bullshit that they gave him a black belt. Like he was just not good at karate. That's quite a dishonor on. But it does remind me of like, when I would meet like 12 year olds with black belts. I'm like, bitch, as if. No liar. That's fucking.

Yeah. You like punk kids. I'm like pity black belt. Yeah. Pity black belt. Yeah. Like maybe yellow belt one stripe. Yeah.

With like a little tip. Yeah. Yeah. Diva. Also like, but it's, I mean, to be honest, it is just too close to choreography. Hmm. For you. I could never get into that.

Yeah. Was it true that like you couldn't use the skills you learned when you did karate? Wait, did you do karate? Yeah. You can't do that out of karate class. I went to the golden cobra in Belgrave. So what was the point of doing it? Well, exactly, Matt. About personal development and discipline on yourself. But

you did learn how to like put people down. Yeah, like do a roundhouse kick, obviously. It's also about playing poison ball. Yeah, and sparring. But not going too rough. That's fun. No, I hate that. I want to do Aikido. Sorry. I'm just saying. I'm telling you, there's one in Victoria Glens. I'll take you. Really?

Yeah. Cool. I'll take you. After school. After school. Yeah. Yeah, I want to do that. What flat pack?

We can get some meatballs while we're there. A friend of mine. What? A friend of mine is in like a, like a, he's like in a, he does martial arts, but it's like queer martial art club or whatever. Shut up! Which like, I don't know how I feel about that. Tiki button there.

No, it's not like, I don't want to do that, but then I also don't want to go to like the straight martial art club because that will beat me up. No, because you'll fall in love immediately with every single man. Literally every person there. So like, what are- What's different about the queer one? No, I don't like that. She didn't like those gay men.

They're too available. Well, if they chat Aikido or the queer martial art club, they're sure as shit single. I mean, yeah, I do always think of like a balding white man in like the full like white robes. I know. The golden cobra. And it does make me think like, wow, nothing has ever been gentrified more successfully than martial arts. But it is like this kind of like a, um, it's kind of nice.

You know what the, um, there, there was a lie told to the people of the world. Yeah, the Trojan horse. Gym mats, like they absorb the stank and it never comes out. No, it's a real strong smell. Those rooms just stink. Yes. And they like connect into each other. Ooh, I hate that connection.

Though it is satisfying to step them into each other. Yeah, that is true. But then to pack up at the end of the night. I don't want to pack up. I'm sweating. I'm done now. Yeah. Ugh.

I actually hated doing karate. Um, but what else is fabulous for after school? Okay, so you're the ones I did. I did karate. Yeah. I did, um, painting and like life drawing. Well, I didn't do life drawing. I got really freaked out on the episode, the episode.

My life isn't a TV show. It's fine. Yeah. On the week when they were going to bring in someone like a naked woman to pose and I was like, this is too much for me because I don't know. I think I'm gay. Oh my God. Anyway, I did that.

It was like the basement of a woman's house. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah. And then I did basketball. Oh. The UTA Eagles.

Which I did like every Thursday practice, every Saturday game. Wow. And I did that for years. Jeez. And I was terrible. Why did I keep doing that? And then I did drama class. Were you tall-ish?

No. True drama. They did drama class. And then at the Tacoma, like, community hall. And then what else did I do? I must, cause I had so many weird activities, piano, swimming, violin, swimming we did as part of school. So it was never like mandated as after school stuff.

But apparently swimming is on the decline. Really? Like they're just not, like a lot of public schools have dropped swimming programs because they're too expensive. Wow. And instead, drowning. Well, no, drowning is on the rise too. Yeah. Amongst kids.

I wasn't joking. Because Australia used to pride itself on being a swimming nation. And I'm like, what are you swimming from, diva? Not shark attacks, statistically. But the way I learned to swim was just gossiping about all the school gossip in the shallow end with my gal pals. Shallow end. I hate shallow end. I want to be in the deep end.

No, I want to sit. Oh, no. And just be wet. I want to feel the like emotion attached to not being able to touch the ground. There's a song about that. What is it? I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in. That's so good. That's a rare feeling to float.

I used to, they used to, Ringwood used to have the 10 meter high diving board. That was so sick. Diving, that's scary. No, but you just jump off and be like, and then you spend the rest of the time sitting in the shallow end gossiping. Shallow end. Yeah, okay. After school activities.

Calisthenics. Did you do the calisthenics? Like calisthenics is like maybe like five to seven and then it evolved into like the drama production. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which I didn't do for that long because then I kind of started doing it in school. So it wasn't necessary to be full time.

Daggett. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good. Yeah. I don't know. What's great. What should we?

Well, that's, I think it was like, I also spent a lot of time just going to afterschool care, Oosh. What? Out of hours school. Why was the H there? Hours. Out of school hours. Oosh. I went to Oosh a lot.

Cause my parents were both working. So I'd be at Oosh until, and then Oosh had many categories cause like school would finish at 3.30, primary school. And then if your parents weren't going to come pick you up, you'd go to Oosh, which is like a place where they would take care of your kids until you can come and get them because they're too young to just go home. And so I'd go to Oosh. And in Oosh, a lot of kids were there for like maybe half an hour, maybe 45. I was there till six o'clock when Ouj closed.

Wow. Yeah. And that's why I became like queen of Ouj. Queen of Ouj. Cause like, like, and it was like me, some of my good friends, I made it Ouj. Cause their parents were also like, you know, Ned Wells who are running around working full time. And so like me and Cameron and Tim would be like the queens of Uj.

Yeah. You'd stay well beyond anyone else. Well, sometimes the Uj women were really like pissy at my mom when she would show up and they'd be like, um, Chris, I don't, it's six 30. We wanted to pack up and go home a while ago. Wow. Didn't they get fined or something? Yeah.

You'd have to pay a late fee. Yeah. If you're, and they like, it was worth it for all that extra money. But we'd also have such like a fun time. There'd always be an activity going on at Uj and then I'd set my own activities and explain what we're doing that day. I can't imagine. And then we'd go and play in the school, but playing in the school when no one was there was so cool. That's cool. What about when you would go to school on the weekend and like visit the playground, but it was ghost town. Yeah.

That's, I hated that. I was like, am I allowed to be here? Actually, that was like such a tradition where like me and my friend, I don't know how she had a license. We were in high school. We were in high school, but like we would just go and buy a bottle of vodka and sit in this park and sit under a slide and it was a school high school, we're in high school, but like, we would just go and buy a bottle of vodka and sit in this park and sit under a slide. And no, it was a school, school, like park, school jungle gym, whatever.

And just get drunk as a skunk. And we did that like a few times and just sit there and get absolutely blotto. Wow. Um, pretty cool. That's an afterschool activity. Getting drunk under a slide. Getting drunk and being cool. Oh my God, who's coming towards me?

I know The curtains aren't usually open. Everyone's looking Into the celestial void, of course. Um, yeah, yeah curtains curtain Curtain would you? You got one sentence You used it also listener I just want you to know You used it. Also listener, I just want you to know, husband Kurjan is normally like, you set this on the pod and then I have never said that.

And has got a lot of opinions, a lot of things to say. And now when it comes time to put it on the record, he's suddenly like, oh, I just want you to know that I hope it all goes well. At last, my time has come. Uh, because I get to share my side of the story, which was I was told as I was departing from the house earlier, yeah, we'll be done by six. We'll see you then. And then we'll go.

And I was like, no worries. I'll finish my gym class at five 30 and then I'll head over and I should be there by about six. I arrived and then said, I'm ready when you are. And then now what time is it? But that's not- It's 6.30. And then I was never told, oh, we might still be going.

So if you want to be part of the podcast, you can come in and defend yourself from these claims and allegations. And if that were the case, then I would have come prepared with my war dossier. Uh, but I was never told this. I was only told lies. So there's that.

Well, listen, darling, you've got to be prepared in the moments. Notice you can't be given, you know, this is what it was just all about. Oh my God. You know, you just gotta be ready to go. I think that dossier is such a fabulous word. That is so good. Can I say I came across it came across it when Christine Holgate, I watched her whole Senate inquiry into AusPost.

And when she was like sharing her like claims against Scott Morrison's claims that she should leave, and she brought in her, what she referred to as a war dossier into the Senate hearing. And I was obsessed. It was incredible. So that's really been become lodged in my, in my brain. I too would need a full war dossier.

If my name was whole gate, I used to hook up with someone whose last name was whole gate. No, but it sounds like it's like, you know, deflate gate or like, you know, like all the gates. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whole gate. Yeah. Whole gate total. Yeah.

When all the holes were having issues. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Let's get back on track. Sorry to derail everyone. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Evil cannot enter this space. Evil? Not husband. He's fine. Fine? He closed the curtain for us. That was quite kind. Okay. So after school, I can't have you continue to say, oosh or whatever it is. Out of flowers. Can't be that. Oosh. That wasn't really like an activity that that was just like,

Oh, well I putting a bit of tomato paste on some puff pastry with a sprinkling of cheese and slicing them and twirling them is not an activity that I don't know what is. Slicing and twirling. It wasn't really your choice to do that. And then you'd cook them and they'd puff up. Um, or painting glass. We did that at Ush. Sometimes he's going to the beach and after school activity.

That's like a family activity. The peninsula. But like, yeah, cause that was like, that's good. But like not like facilitated by like something you pay for, but like that was like a treat of like we're going to the beach and like maybe get fish and chips. I think it, I've just got activity, not an oosh, is probably defined by like a parent paying for someone else to take care of their kids. It needs to be like a consistent weekly thing. Yeah. But what I do want to say- Like this is my new oush.

... is that how fabulous is it when you're getting fish and chips and it's really windy and you're at the right back beach perhaps, and the seagulls are flying next to the car trying to get the chips that you've wind up the window, but the wind is so strong they're like hovering next to the car and they're like picking up the glass because you're holding a chip up to the window. Have you not done that before? I think that that's a you experience. That is so good.

Listen, you know, um, I've done that after school before. What do you think like an afterschool activity that you could run for kids would be? Ooh, I mean, I would love to do like drawing classes or like art class. So an after school activity that you could run for kids would be. Ooh. I mean, I would love to do like drawing classes or like art class. Yeah. You're going to teach the kids how to art. Yeah. Yeah, that's fun.

Or garden. Come and do my garden. You know what? Like that is so cute. Like taking care of like chickens or like doing a little veggie patch with the kids. Yeah. It says I probably fuck it up, but I could fix it after they've gone. And I would. But maybe the link there is that we could make like cutesy little like cabbage, like labels.

Whole pokes. Yeah, that's cute. I'd allow them to do that. As long as they don't touch the cabbage. Or the sides while they're trying to dry. Yes! Yeah, I just hope the signs won't fade in the sun anyway. Yeah, well you need to use a UV stable paint, probably not an acrylic or at least finish it off. Seal it.

Do you know that there was a comment on the last week's podcast said they spoke about the nozzles on, on hoses for 40 minutes. Yeah. The end really is near. I have had so many messages. I'm still receiving messages about nozzles. And what have people said? What has Australia said? So Luke, listener, um,

Oh, can I just say also that being on someone's like close friends who is like semi horny still after like being an old hookup, it's like technically close friends if you don't want to continue to have sex. Oh, anyway. Um, Luke. No, if you don't want to continue to have sex. Oh, anyway. Um, Luke. No, no, don't him. Um, no, but Luke was saying that the non like aerated version of soak is just full, which like that could be true depending on.

Full? So depending on. Darling, what's full? Right? It's just like, it's like hose or like gush. But then you like... Did we end up putting in gush? No, we did mist.

Mist. Oh, true. They misted good. But have you had any patent inquiries about gush? Well, I've been waiting on your call. What my... Oh, my call to buy gush? Yeah, because you were the CEO of hoes or whatever. That wasn't me. That was the CEO of hoes whatever that wasn't me that was the CEO of her I'm sorry. I'm lazy Susan. Of course. I'm Andrew were bottle

but anyway, yeah, I was like well that is true maybe of the Holman eight pattern easy grip trigger spray gun But I don't own that one. So I don't know what you want me to do with that information. You don't even own the wand anymore because it broke. It broke. It couldn't handle the pressure. Um, so actually it's more than 45 minutes because we're still talking about it. That's right. So I've sucked in.

Add it to our total. Add it to my bill. Yeah. Yeah. And we'll continue to. Forever and ever. Anyway. Maybe at Liv we can have a hose and spray the audience. Yes, with mist.

A light misting. That's good. A nozzle. A hose, not a nozzle wand. Come in bathers if you'd like to come to the Liv show. Should we set a dress code? Bunker chic. I wonder what the dress code is for one of our shows. Dress code would be fun. No, but I don't think we can turn away anyone.

No, but we can shame them for not dressing up and having fun. I should just be wearing stuff that's only allowed in the bunker. Like, I feel like if our listeners was the sort of people that are true. We got rid of the Hessian. No, we got rid of the alarm about. No, we got rid of the Lama. We did some jeans, some like cut jeans or something. Karma's your favourite person from the bunker. That's fun. You're talking about, you're stipulating the dress code for an event that we haven't even planned yet.

Well, this is the planning meeting. We're doubling up. We're being really efficient. We're at Oosh right now. Oh my god. Stop saying that! Wow, Farah, you never got to go to Oosh. Your parents picked you up in time.

Well, cause mom didn't like, her job was me and my brother, you know? Oh, full time work. Yeah. Oh. And yet she would still drop us off at fucking tennis. Huh. Yeah. God, I hated tennis.

I don't know. It's like, yeah. And the other thing, as you were saying before about like the things that were, you had like the practice night and then you had the actual event. That was the benefit of karate because it was a one and done Wednesday night. No, that's when you had the, what about when you had to go and get your new belt? The ceremony. They had a ceremony. Yeah. But that wasn't that often. That was a weekend of hair. Me. Um, but tennis, you had like tennis practice night and then you had tennis on Saturday morning. I just remembered the most fucking inflammatory thing that I've ever thought of in my entire life outside of that makeup artist that fucked me over.

Yeah. Um, your nephews, oh no, not Teal. Um, your nephews do go-karting as their after-school activity. Yeah. Bitch, what? Yeah. Bitch, what? Listener, what the fuck?

So they- Drag them. Drag those little whores. They've been going, they're on season two. It's called that. I don't know why. Or session. See, whatever. And like, I went with them a

few weeks ago. It was on a Wednesday night, Wednesday night activity at like seven and we were there until like nine o'clock because we had dinner and we had pizza afterwards. And there were like bikeys there, which was kind of fabulous. I felt like I was on the set of sons of anarchy waiting for Seagal to turn around a corner. Anyway. Steven Seagal? He's not really a black guy. Katie Seagal! And so, the kids like, have this like,

Hey Kids! guy who like, instructed them, the week that I was there, it was on how to overtake, um, the other go-karters on the track. Which I had to take. That is not a fucking, anyway, sorry. Yeah. And I of course was taking notes for when I go for my license. It's like, oh, that's a good point.

What? And, but so like they had this like pep talk beforehand, apparently every week, like the sessions go, like the season goes for like eight weeks or something. And you like learn X amount of things. Like the season goes for like eight weeks or something, and you like learn X amount of things. And then after all the theory, you go out and then like go-kart for an hour or something. The cool thing was that the speed of the go-karts

is controlled by an iPad or whatever. So like if something happens or someone, you know, I don't know, like, but repeatedly crashed so many times that the bumper was bent in on the wheel so they couldn't turn anymore. If something like that might have happened to someone at some point, they would slow everyone's car down and then they would go out and smash it out with a rubber mallet. And then they would speed everyone back up.

Not that I would know what that would be like. Did they let you into a car? No, they heard about when that happened to me in Queensland several years ago. Wait, so these aren't gasoline powered? No, they're like electric. But that was cool. But it was crazy. And then all these kids are like racing around the track. What I did like is that what there were two little diva girls who were there, which was

cool. It was clearly because their parents are into fucking V8 or something, but it was still great that they were there giving it, you know, having a good time with all those little boys. And then when they like came in at the end, it still wasn't over because they were being trained on like how like pitstop etiquette and like putting the cart away etiquette. And they like did trials of like, now you drive in and then like the other

person plugs in the car and then like unplug it, reverse, then you swap. Anyway, it was quite the spectacle on a Wednesday night, an after school activity. I can't tell if they've made go-karting worse or after school activities better. It's just like, I don't want to sit and know the theory. Just crash the fucking car, Deb. Right. Just drive. But I think it's because like they have to justify it to the parents.

What's the educational value? I don't know. Yeah. Like kids don't care. Well, but the thing is even worse, they do. They were like, yeah, we look like, because they love the F1 or whatever. So they're like, oh, we want to be like, I don't know, Michael Schumacher, is that still a relevant reference or whatever.

I want to be like Waluigi when I'm older. Right. Favorite car drivers. Yes. That's, see, I just, don't lie. You want to be like Baby Daisy. See, I never played that one. Oh, I see. Actually, I don't even know where I'm bringing Waluigi. He wasn't there when I was playing.

But Waluigi is in Mario Kart World. Just so you know. I don't like that. Okay. You don't like that? Everything's in that world. Yeah, you can play as a cow. See, I just...

From MUMU META. I think the backbench C tier Mario Extended Universe is very thin. We struggled on that Mario episode. Listen up, you know, you had to suffer through it. Thin, thin, thin. I don't know about any of those people. And they're out now. They're gone.

The show's over. Wow. Ship has sailed. Who cares? And now they're all in each game. And I'm like, let's go back to just the core core divas. Take me back to when there was just eight of them hanging out together. Other riffraff showed up.

Okay. So after school activity in the bunker, it will be what? Speed dating. Speed? What? Didn't you do that? No. As a child, you're like, my kid, he's going to grow up to be a Lothario.

I turned to my mom one day when my sister was at singing class, guitar class or something. She's like, what class do you think you'd like to do? And I was like, I'd like to learn how to do magic. And she said, like, card tricks? And I was like, no, like telekinesis. And she was like, oh. And I'm like, where do I go for that? You must know you're an adult.

And she was like, I don't know that there's anywhere teaching children how to do telekinesis. I was like, oh, what about freezing time? Like Piper. And she's like, no. And I was like, right. Okay. Robotics then. Um, I, when I was in high school, it was like, if you want to do an instrument, you can. I did some like piano in primary school, maybe start of high school. But then I was like, I really want to do the harp. Just like Chic from Zelda. And then the music teacher was like, okay, well, no one here has a harp or can teach

you harp. And then they went through this ordeal of like trying to find a harp teacher. Shut up. And then like, it just wasn't possible on the morning to Peninsula, if you could imagine. So that's why I can't play the harp. For a half hour lesson each week. Imagine if you're that teacher that finds the only fucking harp player.

I know. And then you go in there for like three and a half weeks. Yeah. It's not like in the game. Yeah. Matt, can you play harp? Can you teach me harp? Can you teach me theremin?

I don't know how to do those things. Come on. No, sorry. But I'll find you a teacher. Don't worry. I'll try it for three and a half weeks. I don't like it anymore. Anywho.

Okay. I'm going to put anymore. Anywho, okay. I'm going to put in that obnoxious go-karting. Yeah. Only because I think that's... What was it called? Le Mains. Yeah. And then, listener, Benign messaged me and was like, my uncle or whatever used to co-own that, which is just classic.

Benign girl. Yeah. So. We've got you free passes. Yeah. Anyway. Very expensive go-karting. You're in.

You made it, girl. Congrats. And now we break. Hello, listener, and welcome back for the final topic of discussion today. Listener, lazy, mad. Which preparation method for coffee is going into the bunker? What do you mean? Oh, like that style. That's so good.

Nescafe little Pollock. That's so good. That's such a great question. Instant. Barista. Oh my God, can I say, I hope you're listening, I'm griping this week. This week? I'm griping this week. I'm not normally a griper.

Do you know what I mean? I'm such a placid lake, like the film. But my gripe this week is at Christmas time, we have a boxing day brunch where all of my family come and gather around and it's the one food event that we host. And we had no coffee, we're staying in Airbnb and I don't know when the switch happened, but now suddenly every fucking Airbnb does the pods. I fucking, every hotel, everywhere you go is the pods. And I think the pods are a disaster. Environmentally, taste-wise, it's all just a nightmare.

Also the machines are so obtuse, they're so ugly to look at. What do you think about the shops that are just like walls of pods and then like you select one from the little thing and that's the like caramel pod? Yeah, no, absolutely. Fuck.

Completely not. Yeah. They're a bit of a, bit of a blight. It's a blight. Only benefit probably is just that they are easy to clean up. And that, well, they're not cause it's keeping a secret. Cause like every time you drop the pod into the abyss, you have to then clean it out later on, you're just deferring the work anyway, the pod into the abyss, you have to then clean it out later on.

You're just deferring the work anyway. The pod and all the different flavors are barely there. Intense. Yeah, the only difference is the crema. You get the crema. I don't think a home coffee needs a crema. It's fine to not have a fucking espresso style coffee in your home. Not to mention the fucking actual espresso machines in people's homes, which I'm like,

you don't know how to clean this machine properly. So every coffee you make after the first week is going to taste like dog shit forevermore. And that steam wand, darling, you can keep the fucking salmonella for yourself. What do you think about that little like milk wearer that like foams up the milk? With a little like whisk. Yeah. Hate that. Okay.

Yeah. Hate it. Sorry, Brenda. I feel like it's promising something that I can't deliver on. Brenda has one. It does promise something. It's like, no, anyway. I just.

Did she whip it up for you? She didn't. I just found it and started putting it close to her hair. But I don't hate that. But the thing about it is we knew that we'd run out of pods because we had used all the coffee in the house. Yeah. And so we're like, what are we going to serve on Christmas day?

Knowing that it's like the boxing day brunch is already such a, like, um, or deal. Like there's a lot going on and like the drinks are always the last thought because we're like tea bags will just pop out of the, the, the, the, the, the, and so like, we'll just put out some of these coffee tea bags that we'd gotten. Now me and my sister, me and my sister and my dad were all with the worst types of coffee, including the coffee tea bag, which is like exactly what it sounds like. It's just, it makes you like a week long black.

And that's the setting. And it's not tasty, but it's not burnt. Coffee tea bag? Yeah. Doesn't it? The coffee dissolves. No, it's not like instant coffee. It's actual coffee beans.

Like ground coffee. Yeah, ground coffee that's being kept inside of a... Tea bag. Because instant coffee is not at all coffee. It's just a... No, it's a brown colored... You get kind of like coffee flavored water. Yeah.

Which also, I'll fuck with a McCona. I'll fuck with a Blend 2098. Yeah. 2049. Yeah. Um, but anyway, my sister in law, my, no, no, my cousin, my cousin in law, she comes in and she's like laughing at the coffee tea bags. And I just have never felt more incensed because I was like, oh, you're above a coffee tea bag. Wow. You've come here, we've put on this fabulous spread. And you know what, like the coffee is not the main event here.

Diva, we didn't say come over for coffee. No. We said come over for Boxing Day brunch. For family. For family, Diva. And you know what, you should be blessed that I'm not serving you a burnt homemade espresso where it's going to take 25 minutes to even get one because we've got to make one for uncle John first and we've got to make one for Nick and then we got

to make fun for Deidre and then maybe down the list you'll get a coffee because you're doing one at a time on a stupid machine. This is this hot water there. You can have tea or coffee. They're both in the bag. Duh duh duh duh. Done. Yeah. Yeah. Diva. They're both in the bag. Duh duh duh duh. Done.

Diva. Self-serve. What? And also, I think we're just one like good article in nylon away from everyone re-appreciating the humble coffee tea bag. It's so chic. It's so easy.

And it's not that bad. You have a relative called Deidre. Deidre. Deidre? That's cool. She's Irish. That's so good. You have a relative called Deidre? Deidre? Deidre? Yeah. That's cool! She's Irish. That's so good.

What does she think about the coffee tea bag? I think she also laughed at it. Well. But she gets away for it. Yes. Her name's Deidre. Deidre. Whatever.

And she was the one that when I came back from Drag Race was like, oh, you did so well on this week's episode, but we do have to burn those hideous brown pants. I like that. Thank you. But she said it in Irish accent. Oh, give it a go. We do have to burn those hideous brown pants kind of thing. Yeah.

And then she was like, Jesus, Mary and Joseph, I was praying on the rosary just so you'd win. You know? Yeah. Did she actually say that? Yeah. That's good. She was like, I had the rosary on and it was just praying away. Yeah. Drinking my trilogy, white wine.

Trilogy? She always drinks trilogy and we make fun of her for it. Oh, looks like everyone's making fun of beverage choices in your family. Yeah. It do be like that. Okay. I'll drink her trilogy though. Thank you Auntie D.

Auntie D? Yeah. That's, I like that. I'll drink her trilogy though. Thank you Auntie D. Auntie D? That's... I like that. Okay, so obviously we've found what's going into the bunker. It's your horrendous cousin and a lifetime supply of coffee tea bags. But before we lock it in... She is not horrendous. She's fabulous, but sometimes she can be a bit persnickety about beverage choices. Persnickety? persnickety about beverage choice. Persnickety? Yeah. All right then. Um, well, your cousin is a persnickety attitude is going into the bunker.

But I do want to also say another fun word, which is percolator. Do you want a percolator? What a great word. Yeah. And I love that little rocket ship. Yeah, we have that. That's what we use. Yeah.

But do you know what? I think we're going to transition soon. Oh, trans. I, we have that. That's what we use. Yeah. But do you know what? But I think we're going to transition soon. I have something to share. It was probably my first major argument with, um, lazy's family in which I had referred to the little rocket ship as the percolator one time at a family Christmas. Yeah. And, uh, Robbie's aunt said, uh, that's not a percolator. And I said, well, it is. And then a year later came back and I brought my war dossier of research. They slammed it down on the table and I said, we've got a bone to pick.

Sit down. I was like, while this thing might not be referred to commonly as a percolator, it actually uses the scientific method of percolation. There you go, Diva. So there you go. And that's when I knew I'd found the one. What did Aunty Dee think it was called? No, that's Aunty Annette.

These are also, I have to clarify, my, my mother's besties from that she collected throughout her life that we have now referred to as our aunties since, since I've been born. Yeah. Um, my real aunties, a Trumper who lives in America. Oh dear. Yeah. Aunt Julie. Auntie Jay. Auntie Jay.

Um, anyway. Yeah. But what's the actual name then? A stovetop, you just call it the refer... A mocha pot. But let me read out the definition of a percolator. The name percolator is derived from the word percolate, which means to cause a solvent to pass through a permeable substance, especially for extracting a soluble constituent, otherwise known as decocting. Listeners might be interested in knowing.

That wasn't actually on the page that I read out, that was internal trivia to my brain. In the case of coffee brewing, the solvent is water, the permeable substance is the coffee grounds, and the soluble constituents are the chemical compounds that give coffee its color, taste, aroma and stimulating properties. However, a percolator narrowly refers to a very specific device developed by Hansen Goodrich, where it's more of a process where the water goes back and forth between the coffee, whereas a mocha pot, it

just happens once in one kind of steam infusion. One kind of rocket ship. Yes, correct. There you go. We've all learned something today. See, this is what we've needed. Yeah, we couldn't even think of feuds. We couldn't even think about Jesus.

Some little facts from Kurjan. That's what we need. I learned something, first and last. Actual quality content, That's what we need on this podcast. Thank you curgeon Stop, suck it out. We've already got a good it was nice. I was refreshing. It was refreshing. Yeah Not unlike a coffee teabag I okay, so let me tell you why we're almost off the stove top cell coffee. Oh, yeah, I, let me tell you why we're almost off the stove top style coffee. Oh yeah. I want one of those fucking ludicrously expensive Mocca masters that is just

brightly colored and have no other value. They're cool. I w you know how much they cost? What is that? $500. Yeah, they are. That is an obscene amount of money to pay for a coffee machine that is just drip coffee.

That's drip coffee. That's drip coffee. But, oh, that's such a cool color way. And they're the same design they've had. That pistachio color. Oh, oh, you want it because this color is available. Honey, the yellow one. Oh my God.

That's lazy yellow. That is lazy yellow. Same Italian design they've had since the sixties. But you can get that equally as good one from like Breville for like 80 bucks. I know, but I don't want that. It doesn't look good. No. This is also your like American diner fantasy.

Just going to swan around your house topping people up, aren't you? More nackatina there, huh? Aren't you? Oh my God. Look at that pink. Here's your bill. Just hit up front when you're ready. These colors are fabulous.

I want one of this. And I don't even drink that much coffee. Okay, but here's your bill. You just hit it up front when you're ready. These colors are fabulous. I want one of this. And I don't even drink that much coffee. Okay, but here's the thing. I was like, look at that yellow. That's not it. I mean, it's fine. That's like when they put out the butter colored mix master.

Butter being a color. That's great. Anyway, I digress. Do you know what that thing is lacking that I really desire most of all is a timer. Because do you know how much I'd feel like I was in the Jetsons if we woke up in the morning and the pot had started brewing at eight o'clock knowing we were up at eight thirty. And then I walked out and there was just a pot of fresh coffee. Yeah.

Diva. And then I just pour it. Don't even have to think about it. I like that. But it doesn't have a fucking timer. So I'm thinking about investigating some sort of fabulous timed power switch. Yeah. Like for your aquarium light. Exactly that. Yes. Except I'm the fish and the nutrients are the coffee.

Can I say fucking Ben sent me Snapchats this week? And I know you'll listen to this. Give context. Ben is like my kind of ex. Who's now like setting up his new life in Dusseldorf. Congratulations, Ben. You did it. And it is actually great.

But he sent me all these Snapchats this week because I'm temporarily back on Snapchat because someone wanted to send me dick pics just on Snapchat. Anyway, of him setting up an aquarium, which is so fabulous. But I was like, where did this come from? He stole your personality. He stole your life. Yeah. You were meant to move to Disseldorf.

Anyway, isn't that infuriating? It is. stole your life. Yeah. You were meant to move to Disseldorf. Anyway, isn't that infuriating? It is. Oh, I've got one more coffee thing, but I'm sorry, or I'm happy for you, Zelda. Um, so many people write that comment every week. Um, when I was a poor uni student, I would very often have a Nescafé Blend 43. Oh, it's 43. Yes.

They've not put out a 44. That's so weird. I actually don't know what the numbers mean. Um, I just assumed it's like a brand thing. So I don't know, email me or whatever. Um, I'm part of this now, even though you didn't recognise me earlier, Zelda, I noticed when we came back from the break, it was listeners, Lazy and Matt. I'm part of this now, even though you didn't recognise me earlier Zelda, I noticed. What? When we came back from the break, it was listeners, Lazy and Matt. The guy who introduced you!

No, that was before. You didn't mention Kurjan. Thank you Matthew. But I had the most incredible moment last year when I was at a quite bougie training thing. And the most wonderful woman and I became quite close friends and she, uh, was from Alice Springs. Uh, Eloise, if you're listening, I love you. But you might be, everyone had gone out of the room during the break and had gone

and bought their own coffee because they didn't like what was being supplied, which was Nescafe Blend 43. And, uh, Eloise and I were fine with it. And she made me like wet my pants. Cause she was like, you know what my dad calls this? Bogan dust. It sat with me for so long. I love her. I love Bogan dust. And I think that it's a worthy contender for so long. I love her. I love Bogan Dust.

And I think that it's a worthy contender for the bunker. Well, thank you. Can I say? I love wet my pants. That is such a great underused term phrase. Oh, but not I was dying or whatever I said. I'm screaming. I'm screaming. I'm screaming.

No. Okay, wait, what's that last one? The injector. The injector. With the like plunge thing? Aeropress. Oh. Aeropress.

God, the choke hold that had on like, you know, pre-recession Australian culture. But can I say, why is every method other than instant of prepping coffee so fucking tedious to clean the plunger, the rocket ship, the coffee machine? The coffee machine. It's so exhausting. When I worked at the, what the f... When I worked at the, sorry the f... When I worked at the, sorry listener, there was an electrical shock outside the window right now.

The DeLorean just went past. Oh, it's gone past again! Oh, it's just someone with a fucking light on their bike. Anyway. Who liked Doctor Doom and the Gladius. It was! Don't try and talk about Doctor Doom to Zelda. Did you? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Not that I was serving customers, of course, I was a bussy. But we did like, it's. We had a coffee machine there because they pretended to be open in the daytime sometimes.

And then at night they have the coffee machine just for espresso martinis. But then you still have to do the clean down of the coffee machine late at night. Like at 4am. I think it's ridiculous. Also, if you're doing espresso martinis, divas, you should be prepping your espresso during the day in a giant fucking Tupperware jug and cooling it in the fridge anyway, cause it doesn't taste any different and it should be pre-cooled to go into the fucking thing. Oh, the crema. That's why everyone is obsessed with, oh, no, you shake it anyway.

Who gives a shit? I don't know. But that was that. Also espresso martinis have gotten too sweet. Also, the little coffee beans that go on top, they are like, yes, you can eat them, but they are exceptionally crunchy and not like particularly delicious. Unlike a chocolate coated coffee bean. That's all.

They won't. They don't have the buoyancy love. No true. But don't you think that that coffee crunch is like not quite it? Most people don't eat those. Really? Actually? No.

Oh my God. They're a garnish. Yeah. I don't think you're really. What? Are you eating the rind of the lemon that's put on your fucking martini? No. Are you hungry at the club?

Is that why you- You don't eat the coffee bean on an espresso martini? You should have some dinner first before you go. I'm backing you, Zelda. I really like the mouth feel of those little crunchy beans, but I'm not eating them. You're not really backing Zelda in that case because she saved the office. They're too crunchy, but they are for eating. I thought you can eat coffee beans if you want.

I don't want. Well, then don't. That's my point. Oh, but if they're presented, if I've paid, not that I've ever bought an espresso martini. What are you complaining about then? If you're buying a martini, you're going to eat the olive. Yes. Or if you're buying some too sour, you're eating the delicious cherry, that maraschino cherry.

You'd eat that. I guess you're right. Some things are edible and some things are not. And that's a fair and interesting point you've just made. Maybe that's the coffee preparation. Is there's three, why is it? Yeah. There's three coffee beans on the espresso martini.

But no, I want to put in your disgruntled cousin. OK. And the coffee tea bag. Yeah. Yeah. Adalia, you're in. What is she doing with the coffee bags? Is she just, is she handing them out?

Yes. I knew it was going to be Adalia. You know? Yeah. I think that's good. Coffee tea bag? Coffee bag. What are they called?

Coffee bag. Oh. OK. OK. So this week in the bunker, we have the coffee tea bag, coffee bag, and your garden. We have also the Nintendo Switch 2 betrayal. We have the betrayal of the makeup artists on the City of Melbourne ad to Lacey Susan.

Yes. And I do need to clarify that woman is fabulous and her betrayal is quite fabulous, but I just need more words to understand that we're moving through a drag period. Yeah. Yeah. And number one, obviously we both remember. The after school activity is? Go-karting. Not tennis.

Not tennis. OK. And with that, we'll see you next week. Listener. Buh-bye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matchears. Our theme song and music was provided

by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, or curtain, I guess, send it to us at deathtoeveronepart.gmail.com. That reminds me so much of bringing that gift package that we got sent. I'll bring it next week. My ass.

And won't you support us, please, at patreon.com such that to everyone. Bye bye. Jolaino. And why don't you support us, please, at patreon.com, such that to everyone. Bye bye. Jolagnol.