Death To Everyone - Death To... Boost Juice & Spotify/Youtube Wrapped

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

Its time to get wrapped! Tune in this week to listen to our "wrapped stats" and also which Boost Juice drink we use with our gift cards.Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

...toe... ...to everyone... Kelly, you're back. Why are you back so soon? Did you not do your chores properly? I'll be checking the walkways to make sure they've been shoveled. From out of space. Sorry?

Now you're back. Zelda? From out of space. She's cancelled. What? She's a Republican now. Who? Diva.

Gloria Gayna? Oh. I can't keep up. How long have you supported the alt-right agenda? Jesus Christ. Zelda, you probably want immigrants being kicked out of the country. Oh, my God. Stop the boats.

Is that what you said? Zelda, stop it. I can't stand for that. I won't even sit for it. Well, say nothing. I lie down very passively. Okay. And I'm Zelda, Moon.

This is death to everyone. Our producer is named Matt. Hi. driving the space car. And today is going to be a silly one. Yeah, this doesn't bode well. Calling it all early. Yeah.

I literally just got off a plane from LAX. No, I just got off a car ride. Yeah, you did. From Meredith. Woohoo. The Supernatural Ampitheater. How did it go? Supernatural amphitheater?

Yeah. Supernatural? That's what it's called. That's what it's called. Supernatural. The soup? No. Oh, good soup.

Cool. And Zelda just got off the longest weekend of work in any human being's life, it seems. It does feel that way, but hey, we made it. And what cross are you bearing, Matt? I am doing a podcast with you. Wow. Here we went so far from the best days in my life to now it's a cross you bear. My only love sprung from mine only hate

Well, we're coming up to hour 23 of recording Oh my God What's going on, everyone? What's going on? Well, how is Meredith? I had a delight. So, as some of you might recall, On the show, Drag Race Down Under Season 4,

I went out in my colour-changing dress. with the tap on the wig and I said in my little strutting the runway Vio it's like on the fourth I mean on the third day of Meredith when the colours start to bleed and then that went out into the world

and people were like she gets it she's a Melbourne girlie Victoria Diva through and through and then that was in your bio yeah did they write that or did you write that

I thought they wrote it and then I realised that they had just added that quote to the front of the buyer that I sent them. Like clearly hadn't hit the nail on the head hard enough. But then they reached out and were like, hey diva, we saw you do that and we really like thought that was funny. Would you like to come and emce the annual event called The Gift, which is a tradition at Meredith Music Festival, which is a camping three-day festival.

And it's where people get naked and they do. They run around the track in the supernatural amphitheater, and they have to do, like, a full circuit and then, like, crash onto these mattresses and grab a hat off this dog, like the soft toy dog, and then put the hat on in order to win. Dog? Yeah. Cute. What kind of dog? I think it was kelpie soft toy. Yeah.

But they have to do it in the nude. Nudy run. And so everyone packed in. It was, like, really nice, warm weather. and we'd gotten free tickets while they were paying me to be there as well so me and Kergin went on the Friday and people like obviously like festival culture

crazy but people like show up get up and like at 6 in the morning on that Friday just to get there in time to get a good camping spot and I got to like saunter in at 5 in the afternoon and like drive straight next to the stage and like be like we're camping here artist area and it felt very

VVV-V-I-P VIP And so we set up on The one remaining spot in the artist area Which belonged to the Bullands Because it was just like We looked around

I was like Watch out for Bullets everyone And then I looked down And it was just like More holes than ground And But then they like Quite subdued

I felt like they were just like The shaking from all the music Was like sending them deep into the underground like they were like hiding um and we set up our tent and then uh it was like fabulous it took a second to like like put the warriors of the world behind me and just like get into that like chaotic feeling of like having everyone around you yeah and also and this might be too graphic this is not the sort of podcast this is but i need you to understand listener

that there comes a time after like a long day of travel where you like might need to use the bathroom for things other than pissing and like the options can be quite confronting so like there was the artist urinals oh not urinals

porta poties and there's two of them and they're set up side by side and so like first step I'm like okay well i go down and you know when you like go into one of these like you know just molded plastic rooms that like the sound insulation is not the best and you're like and then like a cue starts to form so like i went into one and i was like like i might sit down think about and then like heard someone's voice outside i be like oh is there someone in there oh yeah and i was like no no actually this isn't happening now this can't be happening now um because i just wanted like

peace seclusion serenity and so then I was like you know what let's just leave it I'll come back to this later came back to it later went into the porta potty and you know how there's like the little foot pump the water through yeah and I pressed the foot pump as soon as they got in just to double check and there was no water left in it and I was like well this cut like like this but then later on I found a secluded drop toilet and and and it was like many open stalls so there wasn't a danger of like a big intense line forming outside the like cubicle and also so loud by that point because the bands on stage that you wouldn't in no danger of you know I don't know causing some sort of disturbance and then also so so just stinky

that it's not like you're going to exit the bathroom and you're like oh oh because it's like Well, the whole thing just smells like shit. Yeah. So that was actually, like, very peaceful, but, like, a very, like, stressful start to the entire experience. Yeah. And then we, like, rocked around a bit, saw some music, you know. And then the next day I was a bit like, okay, I need to just relax.

Yeah. And people were also doing all their shifts. because a lot of people volunteer. And so, like, they're like, I have to do my eight hours here, here, and here. And there's, like, good shifts and bad shifts. And that's very interesting. But these guys were, like, best kept secret at the camp is it, if you do the toilet shift, we have to take out the wheelie bins filled with human shit.

You only have to do it for four hours. And they're like, and it's quite good and easy. Which I thought was, they're like, don't tell anyone. So naturally, here we are. and the whole thing goes very well we're having fun finally like the laser show happens at the very end it was incredible lasers in the sky lots of cute duff sticks

not as many obnoxious men as I thought that's good yes and then today got to host the gift got to see all the like so many athletic shredded men with just like fine dicks we weren't meant to objectify them yeah but I was like waiting for like you know in like a donkey inevitably like in a like lineup of nude men there'll be one that's just like what the fuck that's like a massive dick and like this is probably why you're doing this nude event none of that there's not like a massive dick in there it's not about that I think it's about the running oh naturally Matt but like you think that like

that like say there was no but that's why people go yeah I mean like they're not there to show off no but like a guy with a massive dick would just be like yeah well this is my time when else is the world all gonna know about my massive dick yeah at once in a way that has plausible

deniability yeah like what I'm here for the running yeah he'd say what you'd say Matt yeah don't object by me I'm here for the running yeah exactly and um but everyone would be like quietly thinking oh it's huge yeah but um there was None of that. Yeah.

I might go home with more than the winning prize. Would you mean someone's going to chop his dick on? Is that you're trying to say? No. Is that what you're saying? No, I'm saying you might attract a mate. A woman is not a prize, Matt. Or a man.

Oh, suddenly you're so progressive. Well, you're the one who's... One second, you're complaining about having to help two crossies to a podcast as if our voices don't matter. And now you want every guy with a guy with a massive schlong to have... Gay sex. I'm just calling it out as I go. It's called Talking Matt.

Anyway, but then cut to my dear sweet husband was like a little bit antsy about the drive home. because at these festivals, they're like, oh, if you, like, you know, if you've done any kind of illicit substances, then, like, you, like, some of them take, like, 48 hours to clear out of your system. So on the Friday night, we'd, like, had a little bit of a party, you know, and taking a few little bits. But, like, not even a blowout or anything, just like a little something, something party favors. What did you do? Cocaine. No cocaine. Cocaine's too expensive.

Oh, that's the objection. And then, but, and then on the Saturday, he'd just being completely like, I'm not going to do anything. I'm going to keep it chilled because then I, like, won't be at risk of the police pulling us over and ending my life. And I'm like, oh, I didn't even cross my mind. And then on the last day, they do, like, testing where you can go up and pay 30. And do a test to see if you'd come up positive on a drug test.

Angel numbers. What? 33. Sorry. Sorry. Not angel numbers. I love you, but then, so we went into the tent and paid our $66, because I had said to Kurchin, I was like, oh, should we just put up?

Sixty-six. I was like, should we just put our bed on you? Because I'm like, if you're fucked, then I'm because I had like, had a bit more on the next night and been a bit like, well, like, from Paris to Berlin and everything. Disco. Someone was like, also was like, I've got some decks. Does anyone once? And I was like, I'm ready to me.

And I think that they will show up. You know, anyway. And then they give you the test, and it's like kind of like, they give you this long tube with like a little like filter, cigarette filter on the end.

Like rub that around the inside of your mouth for 30 minutes, every 30 seconds. And so I'm just... 303 minutes. Stood there in a full face of drag in just like, and this like girl that looks like she is been like, I don't know, crawled inside of a wombat hole for last four days.

Like, it's just like, I've never done one of these before. I was like, maybe you should have. Something tells me you're going to pass this test. And we're doing it. And then they're like, okay, just put it over here. And it's like, we're in a fucking gazebo, like a flappy, like white-tarp gazebo with just some laddie boys behind the counter. and like one of their job is to shake the tests

in the solution in like in the place of I guess what a high-tech medical equipment would be doing in a lab but he's just standing there like and then like they lead you at the back of the tent and like well we'll just wait for your results and they write on the test the names and then we got out the back

and Gertj was really anxious about this he was like oh my god and like fair enough but it's just like I don't know I don't think of him as being someone with anxiety. So it's a funny thing when I'm like, oh. And we walk out the back

and it's like full sun-drenched little like plot of lawn and some of the most like scabby crusty-looking motherfuckers I've ever seen in my life were all like sat on the dirt the raw dirt dry straw floor like looking up at us

like they're in a fucking like compound and then they're all just waiting for their name to be called to basically tell them if they can drive home. and so then like names like it's like Tara S and then she walks over it and the guy that like is doing the call out at the very start is this like quite sweet looking still do bro but with a man bun and he's like and then he gets shifted to a different position and goes up and starts taking the $33 payment and this other guy comes over who looks like you know football date rapist guy oh yeah and he sits down and like he's like Stuart T. Stuart T comes over and he's like

all right Coke meth and everyone can hear and it's so funny and then the guy like they're people like every single person that walks up

is getting a negative result like this is like you've got meth THC and he's screaming it and the people turn around with this sad expression on their face And then they're like, because you can like cloak your car, I guess,

and come back and get it the next day. But you can't stay past 430. And then they're like, next guy goes up. And he's like, there's a faint line for Coke. So just wait a few hours, mate, you can go. And it was like a, oh, okay. Oh, my God. And then this one goes like, I'm actually like, he's like, meth.

And she's like, I'm on some like medication, kind of saying it to the, like weird weasley backyard like so that we're like diva we don't care yeah and then the guy's like turd and i'm like what and then kerjans like oh that must be me and goes up and the guy's like myth t hc and like to clarify when i say party favors we weren't taking a twirl on the glass barbecue on a Friday night and like I guess sometimes you can take a pill and it will have like a little bit of methy vibes but like it was a shock and Kojan like looks around and you can see like he's pale white like really stressed and then he comes back to stand next to me and he's like um yeah okay and so we're now we're just waiting on my results and I'm

like bitch if you're on meth yeah like and I like he can't turned around, I was like, meth. And everyone was looking at him like, when did you do math? And then I'm like, did he even say your name? And he's like, I don't know. He said, right. And then I was like, go back and check. And he was like, did you say curge?

And he's like, no, I said furg. And then he's like, oh, that's not me. And he's like, oh, thug. And the guy turns around. He's like, yeah. And he's like, meth, T.H. And that guy was like, oh, yeah. Yeah, fair enough.

And then he's like, yeah, your test's over there. And then it comes back and it's like, no, you're all good, mate. You've got nothing. And then when he turned around on, you've got nothing, everyone in the compound applauded. And he was like, thank you so much. They were like, great work, mate. And then they're like, Rob E.T. And I walked over and they're like, you've got nothing.

And I was like, live in a Vela Luka. No applause, though. But it was incredible. Wow. And there's definitely like a beautiful one-act play. Yes. In that. Yeah.

But I was like, see you all later, suckers. We're going now. Come drive home. Let's drive. And then we got to Fast Lane out of there. Cool. Because it's like chocker block when you're leaving. But they were like, sorry, Artist Lane.

Bye, bye. You don't need that little Artist Lane when you're leaving, do you? Yeah, it was fucking packed. Yeah, and someone had been like on the Friday, they were like, I think the key to avoiding the coppers to avoid drug testing if you think you might be at risk of being on meth is go left out of the driveway. Yeah, there's always like a theory of like which way you should go.

I heard some funny theories. They're like, go left or swill vinegar in your mouth. and it will throw off. And I was like, what are you talking about? How about you just don't do meth before you drive? Yeah. It's like those, it is to also protect you from killing yourself. Yeah, yeah, exactly that.

Which was part of like when I was hosting the gift, I think I really found that voice. And I, like, because I think I've had like other comedians or like, no, they've had comedians host it or other people. but I think a drag queen is really well equipped to be like also don't leave your fucking couches here your piece of this shit this isn't your fucking sharehouse I don't want to see any of that upholstery left over

so I really got to the bottom of that I was like if you kill yourself on meth I ain't gonna come to your fucking funeral oh it's okay and you were there to comment on the race yes did you do ecomitry while they were running yes I did oh my god

It was so fun I was like Guys if you ever wondered where Meredith Goat's cheese fit It comes from These guys haven't shouted in three days What a delight A wave of disgust swept to the audience

But it was fun But they also were like Okay so go out on stage And then you're going to step out Like there's a chasm About I don't know I would say at least

50 centimeters wide with a full stage height drop to like a tiny speaker that you're going to stand on and then it wobbled from side to side so I kind of was like I could fall off this any moment

yeah scary it was yeah and there was like a huge jumbo tron and I looked across and I would see myself and be like is that my voice I like that I love having a microphone

and not being expected to do choreography Yeah It's the biggest treat in the world You get off stage and like I didn't even have to move Just wobbled a bit Yeah exactly Any movement was completely involuntary

Well what What a fun event Yeah Will you be coming next to Zelda Maybe I've never I've still never done a stay over festival Stay over the night festival

It's like sleep over festival Let's have a sleep over And Matt, that you normally go to Meredith Oh, I haven't been since before the pandemic But I did go for 10 years straight And did you ever participate in the gift? No, no, God no Will you?

Why? Because my dong is too big You don't want it to be You know, a distraction for the other runners Well, it's actually a hindrance when you're running Yeah, exactly. you can step on it um the so one of our friends like my dear friend from film school competed and i have known him for like years and years and years and i was like number one

so impressed that he was just out there doing it was very chic but i didn't know that he was like shredded and had like a six-pack and i was like i do not have you in that category in my mind and so i was like you know it's just i was like whoa when did that happen the secrets we keep under a oversized t-shirt are we as me and Zelda in that category yeah if you guys lifted your tops

and you had six packs I'd be like oh my God well get a look at this oh my God it's an eight pack thank you cheese grater I've cook zero

yes you gotta stop shoplifting anyway that was my Meredith experience I love that all of the things things you talked about were like logistical things of the festival. What do you want? I talked about the laser show.

Talked about the laser show, didn't I? Talked about the chasm. Talked about the boule-ans. Talked about the poop chute. Talked about the going to the bathroom. That was hard. And the drug testing. What else is it? Drug testing.

And the express lane. Well, you know, people heard about my business class trip and now they want to hear about the other. You know, people live vicariously through the fabulous things. I had a gorgeous curry for my lunch. Ooh, what kind of curry? It was a pumpkin. It was actually underspiced, but it was good.

It was like with a mango chutney. Hmm. Chutney. Oh, you don't like chutney, of course you don't. No. Give you some energy. Yeah. No, I had it after the show.

Oh. Yeah, also I'm just like dancing at festivals. what what are we doing like my legs hurt like we're just bobbing yeah it's doing like a little like I'm just like yeah that's a bit tricky yeah

you gotta go for the marathon dance well I think you just have to hit a certain point of being on like a lot of drugs yeah to really get there what happens when you want to go to bed but everyone else is still making noise everyone turns the lights off for you you get up and you're like guys it's actually crazy that it's six o'clock in the morning

and you're keeping me up with your loud music yeah no you just have to like take earplugs or you can i put in my little air pods yeah is it like noisy yeah particularly in the artist camp because it's right behind the stage ah true um but it's like it's kind of do you know when your parents would have like a dinner party like a rowdy dinner party and you're a kid and you'd go to bed and it would like you could hear them in the other room you felt really safe it's like that you're like in your tent and you're like they're all having fun yeah yeah yeah get out go back to bed yeah yeah I now think about how annoying I was as that kid while they were just trying to have wine time yeah and be like mom and like I can't believe how many

nights I've you know yeah got in the middle of things it's very like English teacher coded Like, I'm gay, so, like, they'll allow me to come out and, you know, like, sit with them for a bit. But... Stay away. Go away. Go to bed. Get out. Hmm.

Hmm. Or do your little dance. Do your little dance, Robbie. Do your dance and you can stay up for mummy. Oh, my God. Go on. Yeah. Yeah.

Anyway, um, your weekend. My, what have I been up to? Hmm. Have I talked to? about my lotus endeavor. You did. Last week. But you sent us beautiful photos.

Oh yeah! I sent it after. Well, I've got an update. How they are. That I went to Bunnings and found the most fucking hideous waterproof, like, tub slash buckets. Jesus. And just waiting for some more roots to sprout. And then I'm going to plant my lotus. So that's what I've been up to.

In those buckets. Yeah. Zelda, what the fuck are you talking about? What are you talking about? In the last episode, listen, you'll remember this. She was heaping a compost pile of shit on like a half-cup barrel. I would argue a half-cup barrel is infinitely more aesthetic. big than like rocking up to Snowtown backyard and seeing two like sunbleech scratched up

clear plastic tar no no they're not that they're not there no no what is it I saw those like half wine barrel things also like they're all fucking plastic they're so rank um and I was in bunnings for like an hour and everyone was just looking at me and then I put I had all these like stones that I needed and they were in the buckets. But it looked like I was holding really light, gigantic buckets, but they were literally filled with rocks. They have chopping cards.

I don't need help. Even from an anat of an object with wheels? Yes. That's not someone helping yourself. That's you helping yourself. No, I'm fine. But like, it was so heavy. And then I got the tram home,

and everyone was looking at me heaving this gigantic, heavy thing. But wait, so describe the, tub to me and I'll I'll let you know if it's worse than a half wine barrel. Okay. It's like nothing could be worse than a half wine barrel. I'm sorry, but at least a half wine barrel

looks like wood. But it's not it's plastic. Yeah, but so is what you got. Like, and what? It's plastic. Wow. Oh, you know. Like it's had, like this is the second life because once it was a wine barrel

but now I've repurposed it. Oh, fuck Get real. Like, give me petroleum in its second life. Yeah. It's a plastic tub. Yeah, so unfortunately it's quite a hideous, like, smooth, black plastic thing. It's awful, but I'm going to have, like, other plants around the base. You're not even going to see it.

You're actually not even going to see it. Why don't you just get one of those awful little synthetic lakes? Like a little pond. Like a little pond. No, unnecessarily expensive. I just need something to hold some lotus. roots, you know, and rhizomes. But what's the point of the lotus if it grows and it's beautiful, but it's in a foul

container? Because they grow like six feet tall. Too, what if... So, like, no one's looking down there, baby. And if you are, I'm going to have nasturtiums down there because they kind of like have a lotusy vibe. Are you going to bury it? What?

Up to its lip, the plastic tub, so it's in the ground? No, no, no, no, no. So how are the nasturtiums possibly going to cover the entire bay? Because they're going to be in other pots in front of them, like in front of the big pot. Don't worry about it. He's got a tower of pots. You'll have to tune in for the next update. I was worried, you know, when you started going to outdoor aquatics.

It's so few make it not, like, you know. Relax. I'm not. I feel the way you feel about a half wine barrel. We'll get you a wine barrel for Christmas. No. Get a full wine barrel. Full of wine.

What else? Not much. Just been working. Did I mention the... I had such... What? I had such aggressive sex last night that I actually thought I needed to call and stick to work

because I couldn't sit down. Oh my gosh. Wait, did they have a giant danger? Yeah. Matt, see you're not the only one. Good on you. Like, actually. And then like when I sat,

because I start work before public transport, when I was like in the Uber I was like I can't sit in this car for 20 minutes this like guy who like did he sell you the tubbs

what's his vibe he well I can't recall if he listens to this so I'm not I can't I simply can't do that described in too much detail yeah

okay but he's got a great dick yeah and like the sex is good or just aggressive No, really, really good Like actually so good But there's something so rude And so hot about someone with like a huge dick

Who just like doesn't want to use lube It's like, okay Like that's very hot but very impractical Can't you just Why would you not want to? Pre-loop Pre-loop You know when you

End up Back in the Like back in the day when you like Start fucking someone you realize that they are you like how many times you even fuck today because it's like a little loob down here yeah yeah yeah not my favorite no um you're like oh yeah i get it it's been used once and now it's being used for a second life just like a wine barrel this guy looks back what are you talking about sorry

it's just yeah um she reminded me of my lotus roots yeah But then when I got out of the cab And then I was like, well, surely walking would be fine. And then it was like, oh. Wait, why did they want to use loop? Like we did in the end. But, you know, it's like hot. He wanted to just get started.

Yeah. And like sometimes with like spit and, um, bravery, it works. Yeah. And then other times it's like, no, like, you're going to need to loop it up. And that's, that's okay. Like, it's not going to take us out of the experience. No. Um, it's not a condom.

Which is the perfect segue to this episode of Death to Everyone, wrapped. Oh, true. For once, it's going to be wrapped. Yeah. So, we have noticed the phenomena where across all social media platforms, starting obviously from the original Spodify. Spotie. But, like, YouTube is doing it nowadays.

Like, a bunch of things are trying to wrap your experience. and tell you what you liked, which is often a deeply depressing... Year in the review. Yeah. Which was an idea originally invented by an intern at Spotify. Which I thought was interesting.

Oh, really? That is interesting. And they were never adequately compensated for what has become Spotify's biggest, like, cultural moment. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, we're going to talk through, so as a podcastress platform, we have our insider wrapped of listeners and what you've been listening to. So we're going to go through some of those as our topics for discussion today.

But before we dive into the episode proper, I thought I would, just to get ahead of the DMs and the comments, I do have my Marvel rivals wrapped so it's got here that I've been igniting the battle for 366 days. I've been saying that about you. That's longer than 80% of

all superheroes. Yeah, that's because Zelda. What's next? People are dropping off by the second. Okay, so in in season one my most played character was moon night

I know, a surprise, season two, it was it was, um, bitch, hurry up. In season three, I of course went into my Emma Frost mode and she's stuck to first place for quite some time. Time played in season two, ten hours. Oh my God, Zelda. What's this?

Damage done in season three, 96%. Damage done to me right now. I outperformed 96% of other players. My psychic spear sentience seized, 531. That was from season three. Shall I continue? I mean, I think we can put that on the Patreon. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Just as like, I want people to know behind the paywall. The psychic spears, you're lobbing. Thank you. We have enough of that sitting in us We'll now move on to the speakhole Because we do Wait first we're going to end the world

Then we can come to speak hole Oh okay Right Wait is speak hole going to be What do you mean We'll put it in a segment All right All right

Okay The world ends Yeah Is it my week? Yeah Sure, why not So A giant

Planet Oh Also I started watching pluribus properly. Pluribus, did you enjoy? I'm thoroughly enjoying. I think I'm like maybe halfway through season, episode, season, episode three, so fun. Yeah.

I see what you mean, I'm still undecided about the main woman. Yeah. I do hate her. Yeah. But also like, yeah. I thought like, I was like, because she is like a frustrating protagonist. But she's also such a fabulously like, crotchety woman.

Yes. That I'm like, I think Zelda might appreciate some of this woman being like, shut up, let me alone. Yeah. The thing that I don't like about, it's less about the character and more about just like the structure of the show

is that like, I think, I'm pretty sure I'm in episode three. There's just been so many times where the scene is framed in such a way and like the conversation is driven in such a way where it's like, oh, now she's going to like make friends with the like zombie hoard. Yeah. And then she's like, yeah, but you're all fucked.

Yeah. And like, that's happened 54 times. Yeah. I'm like, boring. She's not going to change. Yeah. Got it. Yeah.

Like, ugh. So I hope that ends soon. Yeah. But yeah, so fun. It's a nice twist. Yeah. It feels like a very, like, different kind of apocalypse show. Totally.

Um, yeah, really, really fun. Anyway, my apocalypse this week is, oh, everyone's obsessed with Crembleuet. And cholesterol levels spike. It's a slow apocalypse. People, like, obsessed, like, they don't talk about anything else. They don't do anything else. The brule. And then you can't purchase the ingredients at Safeway anymore because there's no workers there.

They're at home making creme brule. There's house fires. No one answers the call, of course, because all the firefighters are. eating crumbullet. It's just that satisfying crack. And so, I don't know, I'm going to say within six months of the phenomena, it's all over. Yeah.

And that's it. Crembrillet away. Yeah. Yeah. I could see it. Hey, listen. Doomsoulet. I enjoy that.

stupid apocalypse it's got less clapback than my lotus bucket I think the lotus bucket is existing in real life and deserves that I just am like you have such a beautiful house

you haven't even seen the bucket you've described them at me and everything I've heard you haven't like if you want to allay my fears now by saying something about the buckets that's going to make it okay I hate the buckets you're going to put pots

around it? Yeah. Great. What are you going to put in front of the pots to hide the pots? No, there'll be nice pots. Like terracotta. Maybe. I'm charmed by terracotta.

Me too. Yeah. It's delicious. Oh, okay. Listener, we'll be right back to listen. Hello, and welcome back to listen. Speak hole. Your favorite place to speak your hold.

Speak pipe. Speak pipe. Wait, is it actually called speak pipe? Could you sit down eventually? You'll note that my anus isn't sitting flush with the couch. It's not kissing the fabric. No. I'm elevated slightly.

You're doing it kind of. Do you normally kiss the fabric with your anus? Sometimes. It just like. That's why. I feel like a bit tender. Sorry. Listen.

Matt, what we do while you're in the space car for the, seat is up to us. Our anus kisses all sorts of things. Thank you very much. We had no an o'anish kissing in my car. My nose can be anything. Yeah. Yeah, Zelda.

Yeah, what were you saying? Speak whole. Speak pipe. Your whole. Do you think it's bruised? Were you too stressed? It's just very aggressive. And how long?

Was it like a session? Oh. Five hours. His. Baba. And this I allow. this to happen but I thank goodness yeah that's not what I'm talking about um I like had work all weekend and I work really early on my weekend on so this friend messaged um yesterday

being like I'm I'm in town for Gaga what are you doing tonight I think I know who you talk about now. Oh, yeah. And and winky, winky. And I was like, well, like, I'll just be at home thinking about my lotus bucket, I suppose. Don't show him. God.

It was like, yeah, come over after the concert. Like, that's fine. Teva, in what time, if you're getting up at 6 in the morning and the concert finishes at 9.30 or whatever? Well, so the concert finished still around 10.30. So it was like, okay, he should, it was at Marvel Stadium. So it's like, there's a world where he's at mine by 11, quarter past 11. Like, if you left straight away and got an Uber. Sorry, guys, I've got to go.

And it's also so easy to leave Marvel Stadium when there's 60,000 people trying to leave at the same time. Yeah. So he rocked up just before midnight. I was like, I'm getting up in five hours. And then we had sex. Yeah. so I didn't get much sleep. So how many hours?

Just all night. No. We probably, like, had sex for at least an hour. But then, I don't know, we kept, like, waking up and, like, we'd kind of, like, go again. And then I was like, I need to sleep. Oh, my God. Yeah, so. And he was going, run, wrong, uh, uh, you with your brown eyes.

You had to go. Yeah. yeah anyway the gaga stuff is like I love you know I love me some gaga but that's a lot of money to do that show oh spend

one of my friends from work got a ticket to like 81 bucks 81 dollars how crazy is that that's amazing wait did she get it for that or did she say it for that whatever I was like yeah I know a lot of fagatinas who were

going both days who spent like thousands of dollars to be right in the front. Yeah. The concert did look incredible, though. I don't doubt, you know, she is, like, truly an icon of our times. I don't doubt that she will be amazing. My fear is my brain isn't always, like, going to produce, like, $1,300 worth of value.

Like, do you know what I mean? Like, if I walk in there having just spent that amount of money, those two hours, will be like so heightened as a result of like oh this woman's bumping me that doesn't feel like $1,300 worth of value oh my shoes aren't I'm very comfortable that doesn't feel like $1,300 with it oh God and now I'm thinking about other things

I'm getting you know oh fuck and now I've got to try and get out it's going to take me 30 minutes to fucking get to the oh god now there's people touching me true yeah that's true I'm like no thank you and I'm like most like you know when you're like looking at that giant jumbo tron screen you're like I'm just looking at her like she could actually just not be on stage right now if you just put the screen up like they should do concerts like that did I think I did

but like Ben like X whatever went to Eurovision this year and like bought his ticket went and it was in a stadium next to the stadium where Eurovision was on and it was just screens and he like just misread the website or whatever you get to go into the screen one why am i here yeah but like literally like that's some of those concerts you're like yeah i actually just will not see i might see like someone vaguely resembling like i think like they could potentially make another week of gaga shows by just putting like a five foot two italian looking woman out on that stage and put her far enough back yeah and then just replay the video from the night before and just like put your paws up you know yeah and sell

them cheap just a mannequin you get to come to fake gaga night yeah like a broom with a wig swirling around on stage love you yeah come on Melbourne one of those wheelie trolleys yeah anyway we've got some words in the pipe now this is called speak pipe If you are confused, we've now opened up voice messages. And you can send one through to speakpipe.com slash death to everyone. Send in your questions, your thoughts. And for most of you, your queries. Now we haven't pre-listened because that would spoil the fun.

Like Zelda, we're going in raw. Oh, don't put that on me. What? Everyone goes in raw. She's going in raw. No, I mean sans loom. Oh. Hey, don't put that on me.

Put your bars up. My ass. It's so stupid. It's good to be the theme the night, though. Anyway, so we haven't listened, but Matt, would you play the first voice message? Here we go. Hello, lazy, Zeldar. basic car driver, Matt. First time, long time. Your recent episode talking about Nativity

plays brought to the surface a long forgotten memory and I just really need to unpack it with you guys and get some advice. I've got a twin sister and in kindergarten she played one of the main protagonists in the Christmas play, Mrs Claus, and I played a bouncing ball. How should I feel about this? Should I be sad? Should I be angry? Did I not have stage presence back then or flair or talent, was I not good enough? I don't know. I don't know how to feel. Should I bring this up at Christmas?

I just need some advice. So thanks so much for unlocking that long lost memory. Also, Zelda, congrats on your debut performance in drag. It was excellent. I have sent you a little gift so hopefully you can open it up just as you're listening to this message. Thanks, love the pod. Oh, my God. Is that that that faggot from the other night?

That's that Nick, isn't it? That's that boost voucher. Is it? masculine voice. Yeah. I love, because I do this at work all the time. I love when gay people are like putting on the like straight voice. Like to be masked.

Is that for Max benefit that you did that? Yeah. All right. Thanks, mate. That is a good. That was a good. Yeah. So when I was a kid.

A bouncing ball. Bouncy ball. Yeah, mate. That's camp though. I mean, there's only, I mean, like, Mrs. Claus is a dime a dozen. But a true bouncing ball. How many people can say they played the bouncing ball? Not many.

No. Yeah, and look, maybe you gave it, you know, all your acting flair that you could, you know. That's a tough gig. Greatest performance to date was that straight man voice you just did. So, darling, I wouldn't worry. Your acting career is going to just play. Also, we didn't get the gift, and it's too late to unsend it now that we've mocked you for five minutes. And immediately, I'm sure everyone knows the value of sending us voice messages is that we will make fun of your voice.

Correct. It's important that we set that up right from the get-go. I love, though, that your nativity play was so, like, stupid. Not biblical. Yeah, incredible. Mrs. Claus. Now, should you feel angry? Yes, but not because of that.

And should you feel sad? Of course, darling. But probably not because of that. But should you bring it up at Christmas? Absente a fucking looply. Yes, I would. Make a scene. Test if they remember.

And, like, what the adult person is. perspective was. Yeah. Because I think that's funny. I would do it as well through like, like, oh, shall we play, um, like this crossword puzzle? The wife of Mr. Claus, um, a type of like jumping sphere. You know, the birth of our Lord and Savior and then just like get them to say it all.

And like, doesn't that remind you something? How you stole the role of Mrs. Claus from me, boo. You quit. Yeah, yeah. Well, sorry about that. Next. It's Miavo-Train, the CEO and Managing Director of the Color Blue. I just want to say I'm big.

Congratulations to Spotify. Rapped. Love seeing you on everyone's stories, and I cannot wait for more thousands of hours for years to come. Love you lots. Bye. Everyone has great voices. Yes.

That was a straightest voice yet. I beg to differ. I can't pick him Well we do have to You know Now that we're back on the rapt It's yeah Fuck yeah

The so many people Were so pissed Because they were like I listened to the episodes When they come out I have not missed an episode And yet I was like 14th percentile

And I was like Well Clearly you haven't re-listened And that's on you You listen once And then you listen again Yeah And then what about the third time

Yeah What if we change? Seven days in a week. Eight days a week. Like, did you hear the story about the lotus? Because it's on two episodes. You can re-listen to it four times. I'm going to start putting them on the story.

What do you think about that? Now I know how it feels. I'm not against the majesty of nature. I was actually really into the lotus. And that's why I'm kind of like... Oh. Like, I'm sorry that you carried them all that way. way oh my god the options were so grim you have a fish tank in your fucking house yeah put it in

the fish tank oh baby you're embarrassing yourself put the fish tank that needs full sun in the full sun fucking alcove that has a fish tank sized space no and grow your six foot loaders in that entrance way yeah um abril thank you so much yes quite a delight but we your work with Beyond Blue it's so important I assume that's what you said the other thing that we'll learn from speaking box

is how little information they take in yeah oh my god that was one of the the sins of Meredith was that someone came up to him was like lazy and I was like hello and I was like how do I know you and they're like which is a rare rar siding me

acknowledging that I don't know the person I'm trying to do And they're like, we've never met. I just saw you on TV. And I was like, oh, good, good. That's good. Yeah. But I did see one of our patrons, Jordan is tall. Oh.

Who'd just flown in from Amsterdam for Meredith. Cute. Frank. Yeah. She was still tall. Yes. That's cute. Yeah.

Oh, jealous. Craig. Yes, but we thank you. like all of the shares and comments and little messages and stuff actually I did get we did get another email

from Gagastan O2 Hello goddesses and space car driver Matt please see attached I just wanted to share proof of my cultish devotion to your podcast Warmest regards Gagastan O2 P.S. I am scared of sending a voice

message because of the subsequent hate crimes that will follow You know us And the image is just that they streamed 13,422 minutes and are in the top 2% of fans. Wow. We need to find, you know how like they ranked the fans for like music? Yeah. And they found the number one Taylor Swift fan.

And she was on TikTok and she'd been listening for 330 days straight. Yeah. never turning it off yeah like literally what oh I hate that yeah um one last thing but why can't we find the number one

death to everyone the number one this stuff if we can find it for Taylor yeah like which has at least double the listenership of this show maybe triple

no maybe um I won't read out the entire email but I do find the email address of Gargastano too quite hilarious. It's stream chromatica on iTunes at.

Oh good. No one could guess what the ad is going to be. No, you can't. I'd be surprised. But what a funny email address. Wouldn't you say it? Do you think they went to the show? Yes, I do.

Yes, I do. Okay, is that it? Yeah. Well, what a lovely sojourn to hear from you guests. We're going to have to figure out if we're going to make a new, slot for that and we'll see if you guys send us through stuff but if you need advice and mockery you just send it through i would love that do your best straight voice okay we'll be right back But wicked wheat

Breaking news This is just in listener We went to check the mailbox And by we we mean We watched Matt walk across The entire length of the room And did nothing To help him

As he went to go I don't need help checking the mailbox Okay I can do it by myself All the women Who independent Um Yes but Matt

If you can do like a little record scratch To like catch everyone off guard Like it's done and then And then we cut it to this And we get wit To Death to Everyone podcast I would like to highlight that they have misspelled everyone and then scribbled out the V

and not bothered to get another envelope And oh my God It's another fucking $30 boost voucher This person is, where you get Are you managing a boost? There is no letter in here It just says Zelda from listener

Congrats on becoming a drag queen $30. Where's my more shit? Sorry. I want a gift. I want a gift. Will someone send this woman a $30 good boot under?

Zadmi-vast me want to get myself. Lazy. Zelda needs this. Well, I continue doing drag against all those people that ask me to stop. So that, do you have you even used your first booze? No, I'm going to add it.

I'm going to marry them together. Now I can get $60 worth of my logo boo is. In one go. What a black beer, banana bread and one smoothie. It's expensive there these days. It is a, oh, God. You suck. It's so expensive, you know.

oh my god okay well i'll put my tooth and you're going to get badges away and just save them for hot times so thank you listener i can't wait for a girl with a low ponytail to be like what's your name kane they used to dance the girls don't dance at boost anymore something happened the recession like the girls would be like tap in the smoothie he's like Carly The boost Stand there look in the meme

The booster Emporium Food Court I know because I've loiter They're thinking about using Method of Archer

There's always a line I'm not doing that And then what Ringwood Worse You can use the artist lane You just go straight to the front

Yeah bring your fast pass Now that you're drag queen I was actually sent this From a listener To my podcast It's a gift card Yeah It was a gift

Yeah I didn't buy this for myself This is my VIP card. Also, it's just $60. What does that get you? But they, whoever is like, look it, DJing there, plays some really great two-ins. They play a lot of, like, J-pop. How would you know that?

Because I loiter there. For more than one track of time. Well, sometimes I sit in the vicinity with my vegetable dumpling. As the line. Toying the card. Oh, no. Two, no. I'm probably not going to go up right now.

Basically. No, it's too late. I still have five minutes, but they won't be done in time. And then I just won't even get a sip before I'm back to work. And then it will be melted by the time we get a sip. And that's one gift card gone. We'll be right back. Wait, Zelda, quickly.

Can we just figure out how you're going to spend this? Because I need to, I just need to know, like, it goes close. cleanly into the, like, the three, the 30. Boost, juice. Near me. I don't know that they gave you $33. Yeah, like, I'm just worried that, like, there's nothing more tragic than a gift card with $3 worth of value on.

There's also nothing worse. What's the vibe club? God. Are you going to join the vibe club? Maybe. That's how you skip the key. Crack and summer. We'll see about that.

The boost website is delirious. I hate it. Boost. Or Berry Bang. What's Boost Mobile? I'm worried as well. Okay, wait. I assume all the juices are of the same size.

Oh, wow, but look at this. They don't. Can we just transition this into it being the first topic? This is the first topic. Yeah, this is it. Which juice you're going to buy? Which boost juice. Okay, well, I'm going to figure out the cost.

Boost Mobile, we initially designed these vehicles. When we initially designed these vehicles, it was for those that are extremely lazy and extremely wealthy. But for some reason, people organizing, parties and events kept booking the boost mobiles, which actually kind of makes sense now that we think about it, I will never give them my money. What the fuck? Long story show, it's like a boost store, but on wheels. But look at this. Then there's like contacts for each state for who you might inquire with booking the boost mobile. But look at Perth. Look at this person's

name. Tharak, Darmaaran. Sorry, you've been talking. I have not taken it. I have not taken a single thing you just said. You talk about the Boost Mobile? Yeah. I'm sorry, but what is my Boost corporate login? Where's the menu? They have...

They don't even put the prices on the fucking website. Oh my God, our drinks. Like, they just have top-down imagery of various colors. Can I tell you my favorite experience in buying juice? Yeah. Is.

You know, The place on Elizabeth Street, and now there's one on Swanson Street, the faker, even though it's franchise 2.0, but whatever. The, like, the Tropicana juice place with all, like, the orange bags on the outside. Yeah. Love that place. Love, love, love using orange bags as you're like, we're done. Like, and we actually use these.

That's the juice you're drinking. But I used to go there, like, years ago, and they had this delicious, smoothies slash whatever that was called like bubblegum and it was like mango and banana with like ice cream and stuff and then one day they took it off the menu and like updated the wall it was a hard day but i was like can i still get a bubbleg and they were like yeah and now if you go in and like can i get a large bubble gum they'll know that you are an og wow and we tell you this so that you know now i just thought that was really interesting I think everyone agrees.

Okay, so I couldn't find their prices listed on their website because why would you list the prices of your product on your own website? But if we go to Uber Eats, we can see what you can do for pickup. Yeah. Okay, so you can get a classic lemonade for an original size, aka large, $11. Wow. And a medium classic lemonade.

is a 10.30 for an energizer boost that added into your lemonade to boost and energize you. It's $1.20, which used to be how much it cost to get on a bus. Extras. Extras like banana, or say you wanted to add an extra scoop of blueberry, that will run you a dollar, like pineapple, watermelon. And if you'd like a Mount Franklin as well, $4. But if you'd like some banana bread or a hazelnut protein ball, that could be $4.50. Wow.

A value bundle, one original size smoothie, a banana bread and a protein bowl, $19. Oh my God. Three original juices is $31. Would you be happy to go a dollar out of pocket? Not after reading the copy on their website. Oh, wait. Three original smoothies? $30.

Hey. That's amazing. Zelda. There's three of us. We could watch you drink three smoothies. Oh my God. Well, you can actually watch me drink six smoothies. More.

Choose your second all berry bang, banana bars. Sorry. Brecky to go-go, green tea mango mantra, which is just so big. Do you think they have fun making up these names? Wait, the King William Chocolate. get fucked you monica's piece of shit um did i tell you about the time that i was at a bingo with gabriella lobootsie and this guy came up and he was like i got you a gift card and i was like sorry

and then he was like it's a twenty five dollar gift card for betty's burgers yes and i was like oh thank you he's like i got one for gab as well and i was like that is so nice like can i ask like what do you do like what's the vibe and he's like i work at betty's burghers And I was like, well, that tracks, yeah. Otherwise, I don't know any single person that would even know that Betty's focus is open. Offer a gift card. The gift is just going to sit inside of their gorgeous interiors. Okay.

So the juice you'll be getting with your $30 gift card is. Oh, the mango. You're agreeing with me? What? You like that too? Yeah. I love it. Yeah.

it's good it's so good my god it is okay mango whatever it is mango magic well don't pretend you don't know its name it's the green tea

mango mantra oh the green tea mangro mantra yeah it's good and it's going in the bunker yeah three of them yeah

six of them there's only three and they sell out quite quickly do you think we should Send someone in the bunker a envelope with a $30 boost voucher? No. Pay for it with your money. Okay.

All right. All right. All right. All right. We'll be right back. Bye bye. Welcome back, listener. Hey, it's this time again.

The show's still on and you're still here. It's time to discuss. our music rapped so Zelda, what I'd like to know first and foremost Yeah As I was saying, people get their ranking

Uh-huh Did you rank for any single artist? Yeah Who did you rank for it? What was your ranking? I ranked for Eust Klein Um, and

Just Klein He was my top artist for the year Who is, who does the song? He did Europapa in 2023 Eurovision and got disqualified under, um, questionable circumstances. Um, wait, where's my, how do I find out my, oh, wait, what's this? No, how do I find out the stat you're asking me? Oh my God, Devatron. Get it together.

Oh, sorry about this. And Matt, what about you? Oh, my God. do you know my top genre was drone I like that which drone just a nice droning noise oh okay so of used

I'm in the top 0.09% global fans that's incredible that's quite up there right thank you pretty cool So I'm in the top 0.03 of 100x point never, except I don't even know how to pronounce his name properly and I am his like on the leaderboard number, wait for it. Oh my God, these fucking graphics are 725 in the world.

Wow. Bad luck next year. I'm taking that. That's good. Oh, yeah. 725. That's... At the concert with every one of his fans in the world.

Oh, my God. I'd be 725 people back from the stage. Yeah. It's a good distance. Not bad. Who were your top five artists for the year? Oh, my God. I think it's actually exceptionally embarrassing.

Mine's horrific. Top artists. One o' tricks point never. Aldous Harding. that's pretty classy John Williams Brian Eno and Apex Twin

Mine Not what I would have picked But there you go Yeah You learn something new about This is the first year Since this began That my diva from Japan

Utata is not in the top five I feel like you've fallen out with her No Oh Zelda you're not you know you never talk about her anymore oh god come on get real so my top is um use klein then caria then confidence man which i thought was unique then keshire which i thought was extremely out of nowhere but i did learn a keshire song this year and i quite enjoyed her new album so i did listen to a few of them quite a bit but um curious and then number

five of course it's Katie Barry she's not a fake fan I love you and your listening age was 41 my miss 63 yeah

my top 63 were I put a spell on you by screaming Jay Hawkins which I was learning for a lip sync there's always something that it remind me by Sandy Shaw which ones again

1 slash 1 by Brian Inno The Barrel by Aldous Harding And then Cund by Sovia Hunter Yeah It's good Matt do you have any particular highlights Do you know your top five artists for the YAR I just checked it out now

My top genre is drone as well There you go Do you love drone My top art Artists were Karangben, and Enya. Sail away, sail away. There was a phase where I was just putting on Eny to fall asleep every night. To enter the Orenoka Flow.

So my top podcast was Blank Check with Griffin and David, and I'll have you know this show I love, but I'm only in the top 25%. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Because I listen to every episode. And most recently, out of nowhere, Griffin Newman, one of the hosts, just followed me.

Why? That's cool. Isn't that crazy? And then I messaged him and I was like, I don't know why you just followed me. But I have to know. And he never messaged Ben. Oh, my God. My top podcast for the year was Girls Next Level, the Girls of the Playboy Mansion podcast by Holly and

Bridget. And I was in the, I was in top 22%. But again, I listened to every episode religiously when it comes out. So what the hell? I guess it's just new, new beginners. But alas, anyway, what we wanted to discuss, listener is some of the stats about you, listener. Um, so lazy, pull, pull them up and, and let's pick, pick our favorite. Okay. So yeah, as we said, the creators, uh, Like, we get some stats about the incredible people that listen to our show. And once again, this, the way... Names and addresses and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kind of what you look like when you're looking into your phone. Yeah, we get the direct feed. But no, and it's laid out just as obnoxiously as Spotify rat, which means that you'll be swiping through it and it'll be like toggling and doing annoying stuff and you'll be like, shut up, just let me fucking see the information And we're like, this year, you cured cancer Because you listened to this song So we did discover that our Mandy Moves episode

Was our most well-attended episode Thanks, Mandy We stole some of your valour, my queen Vigger Some of her Viga They also tell you What the top artists Of your fans are, like your top listeners

Funny Okay, and we're going to tell you of those who is getting in the bunker. Okay. The top five artists of the pig bitches that listen to this show Death to Everyone are number one. No, I'll start of five. Number five, Sabrina Carpenter.

Number four, Beyonce. Number three, Charlie XX. Number two, Taylor Swift. And number one, Lady Gaga. we're all faggots so quickly Zelda who do you want of those five okay well we already have Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce Beyonce you'll say but we could have like we don't have a full time no so maybe this is how she enters full time um what do your thoughts on Sabrina carpenter like I don't think about her why not I just haven't entered the Sabrina sphere yeah like at all like I couldn't

name a song. You know, house tour. Well, I was going to say, Do you want the house tour? That is the most... Espresso? Talk about me.

Talk about... I know that song. Yeah, yeah. I know that. Oh, that's... My listening age is not that old. You're 41. Did you enjoy pink

at Rodlever Arena? And what do you think about Sabrina Carpenter? I think she seems fun. I'm yet to kind of figure out whether she's like genuinely a fun time girlie. Like, because she's so, her music is really horny. And I have not yet ascertained whether she's fake horny or real horny. So like going through this list, fake horny, Lady Gaga, fake horny Taylor Swift, fake corny, Charlie XX, X, Faye corny, Beyonce, Sabrina could be the only real horny,

but I don't know whether she likes you. Oh, I think she's fake horny. I do think it's like, it feels like, but her songs are like, put your dick in my hole, come inside of my pussy. And then you're like, Sabrina and she's like, Lidil-a-B-Doo. Yeah. Like, it's quite intense.

I don't think. And also that hair looks like there's so much time put into it. It's a wig. Well, even that's even more so. Like, she won't be fucking in that wig. That's a root and wig. Yeah. Let me get my root and wig.

But also, like, imagine pulling the wig off Sabrina Kama to mid. Oh, sorry. It's like, oh, I'm sleeping with the Grand High Witch. Sabrina, the teenage Grand High Witch. Yeah. So, no. Yeah, okay. And, yeah, I genuinely do not think Charlie XX is, like, horny at all.

Yeah. Like, guess the color of your underwear? absolutely not like i know you're in line with your two best gal pals at the party being like fuck off loser we're gonna go piss together like you know what i mean yes okay love eyeliner though oh i love her i just think like fake corny fake corny yeah t swift is it her time no no what do you think she would do in there no no my much, like, at all. What do you know about Taylor's Swedish?

Not much. At all. What do you know that you don't like? The fans? Yeah. Like, that's a bit cruel. The people that like this podcast. Just to remind you.

I just think she's... Just cut there for a minute. Yeah. Cut that out. I think she's just, like, we can all do better. Like, she's just a bit basic. Like, it's just so easy. She's digging a whole day for.

Well, like, no, she just, I just don't get any, like, pizzazz from her. Give it some zazze. Yeah. Yeah, okay. Like, and, no, like, it's just not for me. I feel like the pop doesn't hit, like, gritty enough. Yeah. The country doesn't hit authentic enough.

So what are we doing? It's just like, whinge track. Wing, core. Yeah. Your top genre this year was winching. Wing core, number one artist, T. Swift. Like, boring. I just find it boring.

That's the sin. When I was on my big, long flight, I was like, the album had just come out, come out. Secret Life of Showgirl. And I was so, like, offended by the cover out that I was like, I've got to listen to this. And I'll tell you what, it was not an easy first go around. I was like, this is so, so, like, laughably bad that you're like, I can't imagine, like, but, like, I don't know. Like, I'm like, it hasn't always been this bad. Like, there's been other albums where I'm like, yeah, this is like a, ooh, this is a bit fun.

Ooh, whereas, like, this is I was like, are you fucking crazy? And, like, it all has the exact same kind of cadence where it's like, and da-na-da-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dan-dun-dun-d. You're like, okay. Yeah, not it. What about Gaga? I'm worried about, I don't, like, I'm worried about that. We've got Valentus. Isn't that enough? Haven't you, have you seen that very? No, you haven't. There's a tall gay guy who's on TikTok.

at the moment, spilling tea about artists. Oh, he's going to say about Valantis. It's like, to say, oh! He's just like this, like, Scottish guy who lived in L.A. And he was, like, talking about everything he'd heard while he's in L.A. from his, like, gaggle of gays. And he was like, Taylor's nice, apparently. And then he was like, but Gaga is really lovely, really genuine, according to the gaggle of gays.

But it's also, like, broken, really insecure and will, like, it's the sort of gal that we'll call her staff at, like, three in the morning and be, like, sobbing, saying she's, like, ugly and not good enough. It doesn't deserve her fame. Interesting. Do you think you would handle, like, like, three months into knowing Stephanie. Yeah. And getting that call while you're just trying to, like, get dick down raw.

Uh-huh. After her concert. And like, is that her? And you're like, yeah, yeah. So just like, and you're like, go into the other room, you're like, yeah. Yeah, Steph. Yeah, no, you're good enough. No, everyone loves it tonight.

No, you're so pretty. Yeah. Like, do you think you'd get really wearing quite quickly? I, that's my least favorite thing to do. Yeah. Like, I love giving out a compliment when it's like genuine. Yeah. But, like, I hate.

Like, when it's complimenting genuine. there's an amazing musician and is pretty enough oh my god i just hate fishing for compliments yeah and like worse manipulating for them get real like if i thought if i thought that i would have already said it that's right maybe you're not pretty i would be saying it otherwise like no i don't like that i think as well with that kind of shit you've got to like you get one of those you can have one one messy night we're not doing this every night sweetie

no or else like because what's the point of me saying it again yeah you're fine didn't listen last time yeah exactly I'd be like not if you don't believe me don't call me

yeah exactly yeah like obviously some people need some home truths I don't think any of these five should get in I agree yeah I agree

What are they going to do? These are your fans. And our fans... They like us. Yeah. More than any of these women. Yeah. Our podcast should get him.

No, fuck that. I don't think we're any better. We're fake horny on men. We're not fake horny? No. Zaud can't sit down. That's right. That blood is real.

Blood. Blood. Blood in you stool. that's no good there's no planet anyway yeah none of them

sorry we've already got Beyonce that's enough Beyonce part time is all you're getting yeah case close

I know you begged for this category okay next hello back for the final round. Now we're going to do the same thing, kind of, but talk about

our YouTube rapid. Oh my god, my phones did. My phones did Zelda, so we're just going to have to judge mine. What I can remember of mine. Yeah, yeah. No, I just fucked mine because

I thought Jenny Nicholson would be my number one, and she was in my top five. But I like Lindsay Ellis ended up as number one and she's a video essayist who I do not find as compelling

as Jenny but I like remember exactly how I did this to my algorithm there was like one day where I was like doing a big tidy and like was just like headphones in all day running around and I listen

to every single one of her video essays because it was just like I was like okay this I totally understand who you are get your cadence and like I'm enjoying your like hot takes and bits yeah and so I was like okay we're just gonna binge it and I binged every single one of her back catalog and so that's how she ended up as my full number it was like you listen to 25 videos of hers and I was like and they're all like two hours long Lord so she's number one Jenny's in the top five as well can you remember any others um oh that guy that buys like, I bought all the new iPhone sixes and I'm testing them out.

I bought all those British one. The British Indian guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I hate him. I know, but I hate him, but I watch all the videos. Exactly. I fucking hate him. He's so smug.

And his wife is so stunning. Yeah. But he uses her like a prop. Yeah. It's like, come in here and test this electric scooter wheel. It's like, don't do that to her. She's fabulous. Yeah.

She made the mistake. Yeah. And get like those LED lights off your wall. Also, why is so much production value in like, now I'm, you know what I hate the most about him? Is that he'll like talk about a product and then like stand up and start to walk away from the desk to like close it. And then the next product will be like coming in and sitting at a different desk to discuss it.

I just relax. We don't need that much production in your shitty little IT reviews. But that's how he's. got the views. I watched one the other day that it was like, I spent $50,000 on like the luxury tech. Yeah. It's all like, I mean, it's not his fault that the products are awful.

I suppose that's the point. But God, it's all just awful. Yeah. I hate it. And I watch every video. Oh, me too. And the other one that I got was the guy who does like, I lived a life of like doing regular work in cyberpunk.

um 2077 yeah yeah yeah and i followed all the power lines in red dead redemption have you gotten to the answer of why he has the hair clips in no but i love him i do but it's like do you not love him i just don't understand the hair clips it's like you don't need a bit i think he's telling us we're safe here we don't need a bit it's for us he's femme no he's got hair clips literally performative, like, get real. He's saying, he is not going to... You belong here. Do you know what we're talking about, Matt?

No. Matt, you've got a kid so you don't have time in your life to waste because you're raising a human being into existence. But there's a guy on YouTube you're going to discover in 10 years' time when your child is fully grown. Yeah. Fully grown. Yeah.

Off to college. Who does, like, I followed all the rivers in Hyrule. To see if they all flow the right way. they're so the videos is so good they're so satisfied did you watch that power line one yeah it was amazing I loved

learning about that cyberpunk 277 thing I was like is that game secretly a masterpiece or is it just that the world is so well designed

it both but it launched with a lot of bugs and like so much hype that it like is so hard to not disappoint people

And then when it was like buggy And it wasn't quite as open As everyone had hoped Not necessarily what they'd promised But like you can't control what people You know Decide in their own brains Yeah

But it's since been patched many times And I think it's now in quite good shape Also it has Narnu in it Oh yes Yeah And it seems like There's just a lot of it Yes

Which I was like I forget how good games have gotten Graphically And I'm like Oh, God. It looks like real. Okay, so I've got my top interests for YouTube as spat at me through the rapt. Number one, aquarium projects. Number two, gaming walkthroughs.

Number three, plant identification. Number four, Marvel movie analysis. And number five, Rupol's track race. Jesus. Don't be jealous. Are you okay? No. That list is like a suicide note.

They're my top channels. One is Ryukar, who is just this like guy who plays Super Mario Maker 2 content every day. And it's just like easy to put on in the background. But he's like I do hate watch him, but I do watch it every single day. Then there's Brixie, the Canadian Lego builder who has that hideous, hideous Lego city. With the real clouds? Yes, like the painted on clouds that aren't made of Lego. Get this, yeah, get this, listen.

He's got to turn to his fucking, it's not even his basement anymore. It's a studio. It's got a full warehouse dedicated to his stupid city. And he built a Lego city, but then has clouds painted on the walls behind it, but they're just regular, like smegular, degular clouds. Like in a world of Lego where the water is Lego. Yeah.

The water evaporates off the sea and turns into what? Regular clouds, not Lego clouds, you fucking. I hate it. This scale of this city is so out of control. I hate it. That's fucked. I watch it every day. Then Paul Kaffaro, like some fucking douchebag American with like um fish tanks and like exotic animals. I hate him. Then snake discovery who I love. Do you know what that that's when you talk about some some guy that's like doing like, you know, aquatic creatures and and stuff on their property. Yeah.

When you say that, it calls to mind, like, a scratched up transparent tub with, like, aquatic plants in it. Yeah. You're like, wow, the beauty of the world. And then that scratched up brittle UV hit plastic. It's like a second away from cracking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've got these beautiful plants in there.

Mm-hmm. I just, I think that's an interesting insight. I hate that. Yeah. Yeah. Um, yeah. The YouTube... Wait, no, but when you opened it before...

Yes. I think you're, you must be holding something back because one of the things was like dull re-painting. I'm getting to that. So, YouTube, yeah, the YouTube wrapped is really, like, way more confronting than, like, Spotify. wrapped or whatever. In 2025, you showed many different sides of yourself. Oh, what does that mean? Creative. You've got a real knack for making things. And then the three topics are

doll makeovers. Dog makeovers. Dulls and fashion trends. Then curious. Tech reviews, that douchebag, science explanations, documentaries, nature lover, aquarium builds, plant care and exotic animals um wow doll makeovers yeah poppin atelier it's the popinitalee oh do you know what that is matt no have you watched any of the drew build stuff channel here's this like hot american thirst trap guy who just like makes really ugly contemporary like mini house or like spa but like It has inset lights and therefore is worthy of a one hour long YouTube video. Ugh. I have been meaning to discuss on the podcast that I discovered a new show called Game of Wool.

Have you heard about this? Oh my God. It's where they knit stuff, isn't it? Yeah. Have you been watching it? No, but I've seen it. I've considered watching it. So Tom Diver is hosting the show that like gay Olympian or whatever.

daily. Yeah. Famous for knitting. Yeah. So he's hosting. Then there's like these two fabulous country old judges. And then this like gaggle of

British knitters and crocheters. Is it like great British breakoff for knitting? Yes. Except it is. So I don't even, I don't know how it came up. I suppose my creative side came out on YouTube. Thought I might enjoy.

And it's very much like project. straight runway drag racey where it's like two challenges in an episode one's a solo then one's a group and the thing is knitting so boring to watch like what tom daily so boring yeah um but knitting also famously takes a long time that's why it's so boring um and yet in a reality TV show and they, it's set in the yarn barn in Scottish Isles. And it's all really, really earnest and like, wholesome. But I watched the first episode and I was like, well, this was a fucking train wreck. They're given like 12 hours to make a vest and then what was the group challenge? Oh God, this is a mess. Well, you can't make a vest in 12 hours. The best of us

would take thing. And then the second challenge was to do a knitted, couch cover and all like there's this one contestant is that a group challenge yeah oh good and they're like well i've never knitted one of these before because why the fuck would we ever knit one of these like the challenges like the um contestants are all so offered they're like this is not what we came here to do this is also stupid quietly and slowly for a long period of time yeah and then i have untapped this whole like craftoon section of youtube where these all these like knitters who are up in arms about this show called game of woo and they're all like these challenges are out of control there's no attention to the stitches being used there's arbitrary judging mechanics and it's this

whole thing it's crazy fandom is toxic yes um yes i just want to rewind for a second because when you say game of wool. Yeah. It sounds on its face like it is a parody title, like meant to evoke game of thrones. Yeah, but all the characters are made out of woo. However, wool doesn't sound at all like the word thrones. Yeah. So it's just relying on you to take the leap of game of.

And then whatever they put there is just like, okay, good, you get it. Yeah. right you know like game of thrones yeah like what does that have to do with knitting or reality competition right game of thrones is not about either of those things yeah shouldn't they call it like the cast off well bitch when people go home they get cast off good

I'm writing this show now oh my god yeah but even that in some of the like video analysis they're like that's so cruel imagine saying that you're cast off like oh everyone get alive i actually learned that from your mom when we'd have putty at her house and she was like she was like yeah oh what was she was like it's just terrible what's happening to people in gaza i learned about it from my favorite knitting guy yeah and you're like not the news she's like what's one in the same really he's been really affected by that

And she's on full, like, knit talk. Yeah. YouTube. And it's like, love, love him. He's such a sweetie. He's a refugee. Oh, my God. I sent this to my mother.

Yeah. And she then, a couple days later, was like, I'm hooked. I love it. My favorite is Olga. And I was like, I like him as well. Yeah. Like mother, like daughter. Well, then I guess doll makeovers.

Is in the bunker? Yeah. Yeah. Done by Jenny Nicholson? No. No, done by Papa Nitalia. All right.

Yeah? Cool. Check it out. We'll put a clip of it here. Yes. Thanks, Matt. Hello, everyone. Happy Halloween

And welcome to my fourth Halloween special Dole of this year. I've already made Lady Gaga, Edward Caesar Hands, La Calavera Katrina. And today we will make a beautiful Elvira, mistress of the dark. I've decided to use a classic Barbie doll for this project. It's been a while since we worked on a regular traditional Barbie doll and we will turn this

very sweet and cheerful girl into a very seductive and eccentric dark lady. So let's remove everything that she has on the outfit, hair, face and then we'll start working on her new Dark look. Well, what a thrilling, wrapped. And what an amazing time to end the episode. Yes. We've had an amazing time with you here, but we need to go back to our lives. I need to go to bed.

I love you all, and I'll see you in hell. Mermaid. Death to everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided by Edicentric and like to send us a little voice in our voice hole you can find a link in the bio or you can send us an email at deftereone to everyone part at gmail.com and won't you support us please at patreon.com slash death to everyone

bye bye bye bye goodbye thank you nice and thank you