Death To Everyone - Death To... Business Class, Skellingtons & RPG Elements

Episode Date: November 11, 2025

Hello there Surprise we are back! Did you miss us? We absolutely missed you dear listener... We were just beside ourselves with sadness until we could see you again. Please enjoy the first episode of season 3!x Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Turn to everyone To everyone Especially you We need to start season three strong. Welcome to season three, listener. Ah, season three of what's actually like, it's kind of like, you know, one of those HBO things where they're like season two, like, or like the first half of season two is like seven episodes and the second half of season two is seven episodes. Yeah, hate that. Yeah, that's crazy.

They do that for Invincible. They do it for the last season of Breaking Bad. Ugh. Ugh. Just trying to milk it all out. Yep. Sorry. I'm just trying to milk it all out, Zelda.

Oh. Milk it for all it's worth. Yeah. I, speaking of Invincible and milking it all out. Yeah. My Twitter repeatedly re-presents this image, this like, cartoon image of, what's his name? Like, Invincible, I guess. Yeah, Invincible.

What's this? Yeah. This Invincible television program you're talking about? Yeah. Have you not watched Invincible? Honey, what do you mean? It's a, like, um, it's kind of like the boys, I guess. But it's a cartoon.

Well, that sounds awful. It's like adult superhero. Um, but very kind of... Is it funny? Yeah. It's really good. It's a thousand times better than the boys. It's probably the best, it's probably the best.

it's probably the best comic book adaptation ever I would say like the characters are great they do a great job like a better job than the boys of being like okay so obviously like we've stolen

some power sets from superheroes that you know about and have applied them to our like new world but um yeah invincible is just it's it it's a more of a like nuanced interpretation of like what if superheroes

had like what if super heroes actually existed but weren't just all right wing assholes like in the boys it's a bit more balanced um cool it's really fun oh yeah the the voice cast is amazing oh gillian jacobs um the actual story randnolds walton gawkins close to flockhart mr miller oh recast to eric booza why did they do that I wonder oh Ben Schwartz Anyway

Oh Zachary Quinter Invincible has like a gay friend Ooh Jason Manzookus And I keep getting all this The same image reposted Of like him fucking the gay guy But like it's obviously like fan on But

Why do you think you're getting served that? I don't know Something I mean it couldn't be my algorithm I don't think But I don't know Oh Tatiana Misalani But anyway

Lee Pease. Matt relentlessly talking about milking it out just made me think of that. Sorry. You know what? This is, this is, you know, we need to cut all. Ooh, May Whitman. You know, we need to cut all of this? Because this is the start of season three. What I think, this was going to say, Matt derailed us. Is, you know how, like, Beyonce was like, tomorrow there's an album. Oh, and also there's, every song has a music video. Uh-huh. That's kind of like how we ended season one. And kind of like how we end it. ended season two. Except, like, the opposite of Beyonce, we don't give them content. We have unannounced breaks.

Correct. Withholding. Yeah. Look at me getting off. Oh, you thought it was coming and then it didn't. Yeah. Yeah. The milk ran dry.

Being unreliable. Being spontaneous. Ah, dancing in the rain. Sending letters to people you don't know. I really want to do that. I have. What? Don't do that.

I have like, I really want, there's like a house down the street from me. Oh, I know exactly what you're going to say. It has the most like beautiful little garden and I want to put a little note in there thing being like, I live up the road and I think your garden is so nice. Oh, I think you're going to say that house that paints weird shit on the side of the house. I kind of want to do that one too and just say, I love that you paint that thing all the time. But haven't done either. It feels a bit weird.

That does feel strange. I watched the film, Wicked Little Little. letters on the train on the plane with Olivia Coleman and that girl with the incredible mouth and it's based off this like real thing that happened in a sleepy English village where this woman started receiving these like really vulgar letters that are like you eat come and gobble cocks and blah and it's this like really pious like Olivia Coleman woman who's getting these letters and she's like, oh, no, and she, like, lives under the thumb of her really evil, misogynistic father and lives with her mother and father, despite the fact that

she's in her 40s or 50s, or however how old Olivia Comyn is. And then they accuse her next to her neighbor, this Irish woman who's, like, very, like, ne'er-do-well, like, swears, has a young daughter, drinks a lot, you know, blah, blah, and then she gets arrested and taken to prison for it for writing the wicked little letters. And then everyone that comes to her defense ends up also getting wicked little letters in the mail. And everyone's like, she's crazy. She just sends these to half the village. And then it's revealed that it's the Olivia Coleman character who's sending them to herself to get attention and to like live out this fantasy where she's allowed to say all these horrid things. That's great. Incredible. What year is this film from?

It was released last year, but, like, set in old-timey days. Yeah, okay. Yeah. That's fun. But it's very funny watching Olivia Coleman, like, write down all these hideous things. I was going to say, is there a shot of her, like, sitting at a desk? Yeah, well, there's a lot of, there's a lot made of, you know, how they compare the handwriting samples of Olivia does her G's a certain way. And, yeah.

And then a lot of people, like posh British people, reading out the letters and they're like, she's drooping with whole calm and blah, blah, blah, yeah. Fun. So fun. I like it. Okay. Speaking of pop up British people, did you watch the traitors finale? No. I didn't watch the premiere.

I didn't watch the trailer. I hadn't seen any of the traders, can I say? I hadn't, but I'd observed it from afar. I think every drag race fan I had observed it because it had won the competition reality Emmy over RuPaul I know two things about this show

Bob was on it Yeah Nightcrawler was on it That's it Oh yeah he's the host of the American one Yeah And that's very camp But the UK

Edition Just did their first celebrity edition And they shoot at the same castle in Scotland, but with this fabulous woman who's very tan with bangs, who wears beige lipstick. It's like a shade lighter than her tan skin and really charcoal smudgy eyeliner all around her little eyes, and then like fingerless gloves and long capes. And they cast it in such a way.

The American one has always been cast in this like kind of like reality TV. like Bob the drag queen, peppermint, but also like survivor people and real housewives. And the way that they cast the UK one was just like so much better. Like they cast with like Stephen Fry and like Alan Carr Chattieman and like Celia Emory and then like Tom Daley, like the diver and then like one YouTuber and then like Paloma Faith. Yes, that woman. Oh, my God, this woman. Also, her name is Claudia Winkleman. Yes.

How did he miss saying that? Winkleman. But it's so good. And the whole season was just incredible because they're just in a mansion. Look, because this cape she's wearing. Yeah. And fingerless gloves. Yeah.

And the whole, and I hadn't watched any of it. And then I was like, oh, I should watch this thing and just see what it's like. And so basically it's like werewolf or like, you know, secret Hitler or whatever. And like at the start of the competition, they all are sitting around a table and that woman walks around them and selects the three traitors that are going to become the like evil deceptive ones that have to like keep everyone off their back while they kill them all at night. And then like she walks around the room and does all these fake stumps so that people can't hear that like the technical process. on this show is her going and then she like cast her three traitors which is this like young very cool woman named Cat

and then like Jonathan Ross that famous TV talk show host and then who you no doubt will hate and then Alan Carr Chattie Man and um oh I hate that guy yeah yeah but he's very good on the show and then Alan Carr And Alan Carr is just so delightful because he's so bad at being a trader that when people are like, Alan, are you a trade, are you as faithful?

And he's like, oh yeah, I'm a faithful, darling, it's okay. And he just like laughed in their faces the entire time. But no one suspects him because they're just like, he's so inept that he couldn't possibly be a traitor. And it's just an amazing, amazing thing to watch. That's fun. yeah anyway um welcome to death to everyone listener this is our uh weekly podcast where we discuss a range of fabulous topics like the traders or invincible yes um so season three has begun uh my name's elder moon and i'm lacey suzanne and a better description of our podcast let me just

try that one again i really just said half a sentence this is our weekly podcast where We discuss a range of fabulous topics. And what do we do with those topics? Well, we have established a doomsday bunker. And each week, we put the best of the best of those topics into the bunker to be preserved for the next generation. Kind of like de Grassy next generation, but slightly different. Yeah. Yeah.

None of the teachers come back to harass the students. What do you think about the actors who were in like OG and then came back? I mean, camp. I love that Canada has no... pathways to mainstream success for these people so they're still available to just pick up pick up the phone something on that that i don't care about but would just say because i was exposed to it by uh the algorithm unfortunately doesn't know me that well is that i've seen all this like malcolm in the middle reunion stuff uh-huh like the new season or whatever uh-huh

and i was perplexed by the image of the three boys uh-huh because i was like who the fuck is that guy. Turns out he just aged in a way that I wouldn't have expected. Oh, you mean the middle son? Yeah, like the one who was like the hot one. But then it was like, but then it was like, but yeah, not him, the other one. They're like the hot one. The oldest? No.

The one that's like cadets. The one who had like the spiky hair, who was like the cool one. Yeah. You thought Reese was the hot one? Yes. Ma'am, I don't think that that was the message of that show. What? What do you mean?

He was like the hot... You like, they cast him as the heartthroat. No, he was like the hot bad boy, wasn't he? I was like never seen this show. I've never watched it. He's a child. Oh, okay. I was a child when it came out.

And I think the whole energy of him is that he's like really maladapted and stupid. Yeah, that's what I said. He's very hard. But anyway, he looks different now. Anyway, so when I was, then I saw days later, I was exposed to another picture that was like, oh, this is why Dewey isn't coming back or whatever. This is like the new Dewey. I was like, what? I saw the picture the other day.

They were all there. And then I realized that, again, a show I've never watched, there was a fourth child who didn't come back, unlike the cast in DeGrasi to come back years later as the teacher. You did that in that photo you saw? Well, I saw an example of that, yes. But what I loved is that that Dewey... New Dewey. Old Dewey. It's like, no, thank you.

I'm not an actor anymore. Why would I do that? New Dewey looks more like old Dewey than the same guy. I see that you've seen... Yeah, I've seen it too. I agree. New Dewey looks more like the... They should have done...

How it would be if he was older. But you know what? People look different. Yeah. Check out Hot Guy. Hot guy You should watch I can't decide

Whether you'd hate that show or not But Oh no I didn't watch it Because I hated it It's so good The writing was really good Ooh I hate

I hated it Lois Oh no It was like rug rats Adjacent Like it's so ugly Looking You just hate shows

About poor families Making it worse Yeah But it was so like Goofy They were goofy Yeah Yeah, it's like, why are they all just talking down to this hot guy?

I've seen one scene, I think, of the mother in a car park, like, aggressively cutting off another woman and then she cuts her off or something. Yeah. That I liked. Yeah. That was good. That's the show. The show is about her being a battle axe and the rest of them cowering in front of her. She's not Katie Sagaal, though.

I feel like I get that from Katie Sagaal. No, but Katie Sagal in, like, married with kids wasn't, like, standing up. up to how? Oh, I don't ever watch that. I'm talking about that. Do you trauma? No. I'm talking about Sons Vanaki.

Even though that came out maybe 15 years after, that gave me the fix that I needed for me. Listen, I'm not telling you to watch all of Malcolm in the middle, but I would say there's never been a better time. Because they're about to do a reboot. And I'm sure it's going to be as good as the original show. Do you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. How could it not be?

Exactly. They've got all the actors back. And they're all not actors anymore. Did you like that in I-Carly when Jeanette McCurdy didn't come back as well? What? Did you like that? I don't know what you're saying to me. Well, another show that you didn't watch, I just thought, you know.

Oh. Did you know that Malcolm, Frankie Munis? The non-hot one. The Big Head. Big Head. Jesus. He's a race car driver now. Yeah.

And he still found time to come back. But so... And he was a celebrity, get him out of here. Is there... Okay, so when you say he's a race car driver, do you just mean he's someone who has driven a race car? No, he drives professionally. He takes it very seriously now.

Yeah. Which makes a lot of sense. Isn't he be driving cars instead of acting? I think he, the paycheck's probably a bit better. Yeah. Yeah. Suppose you can't recast Malcolm. In the middle? Yeah.

No. Well, and we were still robbed of the Hillary Duff, Lizzie McGuire reboot. Why doesn't she do that? Because they started filming and then Disney pulled the plug. Because it was too adult. Because it was going to be about Lizzie living her 30-something life in New York City. What's happening to her? Too adult for Disney.

They were just going to acknowledge the fact that she's a 30-year-old woman. Oh, no. Like, yeah. Mm-hmm. He made the brave decision to shoot her, you know, having pause. Shoot her. She got shocked. She got mugged.

Their project was cancelled because Disney assassinated the lead actor. Today, Disney has made the brave decision to shoot Lizzie McGuire to preserve her legacy. We're putting an end to this. Yeah. You got above 30. Yeah. I don't think we need. Maybe that's, I mean, like, if I was Disney,

I'd shoot them on the way out Because It'd be safer If they just died Then they can't publish memoirs In years to come And tarnish the legacy Yeah

Of all the abuse Yeah exactly Shoot them on the way out Or like mafia style Like be like Hey can I take you up for a nice past To lunch And then they're sitting around

And then The screen goes to black Yeah They close the door And they're like Vinnie why are you here it. Whoa.

Yeah. That's changing around me, and I want to make it pain. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? No. But I'd love to. My two favorite gals when I was growing up was, was I loved Deborah Messing and Will and Grace. And I loved Melissa Joan Hunt.

in Sabrina and both of those fucking women have turned out absolutely bug nuts crazy conservative pieces of shit sorry dude is that where you're headed do you think me yeah I don't love myself I love me no um so I mean that it just is what is what is in the water this this week well I don't want to brag but of when I was that Fran Dresher yeah and who's my second I don't know There was just, she kind of took up enough space for two women. Well, listen, I don't know what to tell you, honey, but I think that it, I wouldn't look too deeply into the Zionist credentials of Ms. Fran Drescher. No, don't say that.

I know, listen. No, don't. What are you doing on your phone? Nothing. was probably Lili and Chin. Well, thank God, Megan Malali has turned out to be a solid choice. For the bunker. Yeah, exactly.

Anyway, yes, getting to the bunker. Hmm. Okay. Should we dive in, or do you want to... We're into Apocalypse. Oh, God. Apocalyptica. I have one.

Go on. Season three's first apocalypse. Season three's first apocalypse. Well, what happened was everybody on Earth got to get a house. have a job. Oh my God. Yeah. Communism.

And they all had to go to... Each according to their ability. Well, sadly, no. So many people were really shit at their job. Oh. Every day. And so we set the world on fire. Mama, you need to have a weekend. Yeah.

Girl, what? You can't just turn the apocalypse into cry for hell. That's what the rest of the episode is for. Do you know what someone said to me the other day, which I forgot that you said on the pod? They were like, I was listening. And Zelda said, this has been the worst year of my life. And you were like genuinely shocked.

And I was like, I forgot about that immediately after it happened. But, God, that is chilling. And now I feel like you're following it up with this. Oh, well, I'm actually doing fine. Are you doing fine? Yeah, I just need two days off. Two days we'll fix it. Hopefully.

that we did fill one of them with a massive planning day of everything we're going to do in the next few months when are we doing that Tuesday yeah I've forgotten already now your days off just like podcast and then organising other things for your life to do Matt she's already on the edge don't send her over I'm just

but do you know what I will say to you recently that I learned yeah Um, do you know, back in Victorian, Victorian? I don't know. Early England. Yeah. Not early. Victorian.

Um, like just, you know, um, the burgeoning, uh, of the industrial revolution. Oh. Um, when you said early English, Cretaceous period. No, no, no. Um, I was, I was, sure. Human history. Human history. Victorian, not Victorian dinosaurs.

Hello, love. Ra! As they will want to say. Oh. If you ever needed to know how a Victorian English dinosaur sounded. Yeah. As Shakespeare. Ah, wow.

All right. Oh, you got over there. Sorry to dinosaurs listening. But the bakers, you know, spilled more of this water on me in the last 10 minutes that I have drunk. It sounds like you're practically drinking out of a saucer. Oh, I just... A shallow saucer of a cup. I just feel more. My witch's cup.

You can have a real cup if you want. No, I want the witch's cup. She's obsessed with this very low cup. Because it's like a witch's cauldron in mug form. Keep it for the show. Um, anyway, um, bakers, back in this time in English history, I'm going to say 17, 18, 1800s. That's when the machine started, right? Late 1800s would be a good time.

Okay, sure. Late 1800. Not if you're a dinosaur. That would have been Victorian England. Okay. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Um, so bread was people.

main food source. Like that was like the people of Victorian England, bread. It was all about bread, particularly the, like a morning roll. Morning roll. Can't see a morning roll. We're obsessed with bread here. One morning roll. Bakers at the time who seldom lived past.

Extremely wealthy. Seldom lived past 30. because of the conditions they were kept in they would work like 1005 hour weeks or something ridiculous they'd work every day and they would have to get up at like three in the morning then all these men would be

and normally these bakeries were just like basements that had been converted and they like had put an oven in and these men would stand over these great long troughs and pound the dough that needed to be made and they would get so hot and warm in there that they'd often just be half naked

their sweat sliffing off their body and into the dough as they all worked together pounding the door and they didn't know a life outside of that they would sleep on a board often only getting like power naps not full sleeps and they would only get one 19 hour section

off a week which would be on the Saturday they'd close early and then on the Sunday they'd start late Wow. And yeah, they basically all live there. And then they would die young because of baker's lung, which is all the flour that was just hovering in the air. And then the additives that were going into the bread

to make it appear like it was a mild white flour bread, like a white bread, which was considered more expensive because it was more refined. So they would add things like plaster of Paris to the bread. Is that what the name? name suggests, pasta that's been, pasta, plaster that's been imported from Paris? Wait, where didn't you answer? And so they would be like inhaling all this shit and then sleeping in this room and

like their bosses would sometimes just lock them in there to make sure they would stay for the, while the dough proved. And when they added all these additives, it meant that they'd have to need for double the length of time to get the glucose as such, I mean, glucose. the um gluten at such a level in the bread that it would still spring back and whatever all of this to say i mean listen zelda i think you might be you know finding a kinship with the bakers at the time that's kind of your life i see i see you can relate yeah yeah wait did i already tell the story on the podcast about the kinesiologist when i was 15 who tried to brainwash me

i have right yeah i think so he was a baker Yeah, he was so hot. Well, this is what I think, um, when the guy was describing this on this, like, history YouTube podcast thing, that it just auto played. I don't, I just ended up listening to this guy for hours. No need to make excuses, dear. Listen, I wanted to listen to that awful woman open advent calendars. Oh, isn't she awful? She's terrible.

She's so awful. Zelda got me onto this awful fucking woman. Cherry Wallace. If you have the will and a distinct lack of self-preservation, go and look at Cherry Wallace. She is awful. I don't even know how I found her because she makes, I think she like rose to like YouTube fame making like witchy content. Harry Potter content. That is like purely like just the Harry Potter fandom of it all.

And Harry Potter has fueled a lot of interest in. notepad adjacent magic and you know like a foiled postcard adjacent magic enamel pins of quadrants perhaps yes yeah um

and so she was getting bigger and bigger on YouTube just like reviewing product like buying shit and talking about it basically in that lens and then got to a point where she then opened a shop with a friend of hers who already had a like a magic

shop. And now she also has a magic, the lost cauldron. Oh, I watched all of this. Why do I know about this? Because she also made like a series on renovating the shop and like fitting it out and all that stuff. And at that time, I was like, you know what, this is actually, despite me hate watching her for some time, I was like, this content, though I still hate it. And every decision that they've made in that shop is hideous and ugly and rank. Today we're going to be adding moss to our fake drawers to make it look like you might be going to herbology lessons. It's like, well, what if you just made some fucking drawers? What about that?

What then? Yeah. I think if you started, if you picked it one decision, she'd make her entire life would collapse. I hate her. But she's doing a series at the moment where she reviews. Well, Mama. She does it every year.

Oh. She does it every year. And when they started coming up again this year, I was like, I watched probably like five of them last year across the period. of November to December, where she releases five a day. And I was like, I can't do it this year. I cannot. Like, I also, she makes...

So you've been following this for years. Yeah. Yeah. Do you like that. But... Listeners of this podcast will understand the impact. The impact. You've been following this podcast for years?

Yeah. And you say, why are I listening to this shit? But this woman, and she's so passive-aggressive and manipulative and you listen to the way she speaks to everyone in her life and you're like ooh you're a monster she's a monster but none of it ever slips through the cracks she just kind of ugh yeah today I'm going to be opening the lush nativity calendar what is this pen it's not good enough so she did one the other day that was a Gilmore girls advent calendar and I had to send it to my sister

That's it. She's obsessed with that Roris. That's your wicked little letter. Huh? Hmm. And what did you think of the contents of the box? Well, she wasn't wrong. Especially about that stupid like sugar.

Of course I did. But that stupid mug or whatever the fuck it was, why did it have Gilmore girls on it? She was so right about that. Yeah. It was like a coffee. It was from Luke Steiner. It was a sugar bowl.

Sugar bowl. And it did break the fundamental rule that we have Which is like when you're getting merch You want it to be like in world merch So she's like Oh like why does the Luke's diner A sugar mug have Luke's diner And then beneath it Gilmore girls

Like why would Luke put that on his sugar mug No one would understand They're like who are the Gilmore girls Yeah wait who's Gilmore Yeah no I'm asking you that The Gilmore girls Who's Gilmore? That's their life

last name. Oh. I get it. How last names were. No, I didn't know that that was their last name. Lorelai Gilmore. Rory Gilmore. Emily Gilmore.

Who's Emily? The mother. Mother. Lorelai. But the thing about that show is that it's impossible to make satisfactory merch for Gilmore girls because everything about it is slight. you know what I mean like I don't want like if you want to go to New England

go to New England diva like everything that has ever come out and I've like you know love Gimwell girls for a long time but everything that has ever come out of the like merch from that has always been like the most hideous like

we talk fast talk fast and drink coffee kind of like autumnal like gals like oi with the poodle already blanket and you're like ugh what it's like a quote yeah it's not good whereas some things are so good for much like you know like true blood like that true blood bottle yes except that's one thing there was not really anything else good at they did aprons from the diner oh yeah and like

probably t-shirts from the diner well that's also like the you know as much as we um hate this woman that's what Harry Potter turned out to be so good at yes it's like it's actually like the perfect merchandising opportunity more than anything else because it's like all shops

they like a lot of it's about going shopping yeah and look at all these products yeah all the candy treats candy ones yeah and all the yeah yeah that JK

oh actually speaking of JK Roshane Murphy, Turfie Murphy, as we call her here, has really, like, JK defied herself. Yeah, she's gone off. Yeah. What was the, what did she do recently? So back. She's gone off. Yeah.

Well, because at the first, she's spoiled. Plus, she had like a little bit of plausible diet and deniability of like, well, maybe she's just a fucking, like, maybe she's ignorant. Like, or maybe like we've misinterpreted because like the original exposure of the turf of at all was like some stupid Facebook post, I'm getting this wrong, just going to, this and everything I'm going to say is probably 50% wrong, was essentially talking about like getting like blockers or whatever for like teens. And she's like, gah and her, and she commented on this like post or whatever being like oh god save the children kind of thing yeah um and then people found that but

it was like her private like person account or whatever yeah it has like her artist profile but still like that came out and she essentially was like i'm not talking about this like i'm just removing myself from this i'm not doing it um which is not the same thing as saying No, you've misinterpreted what I meant. Yeah, yeah. And there was some of us that thought, well, you're now Turfie Murphy, and I hate you. And some that said, oh, well, maybe we don't really know what she thinks because she didn't really say anything in a way. Anyway, the other week, she just doubled down and started posting self on Twitter.

So it's over for her. Yeah, she sucks. Yeah. What the fuck? Boo. It really is. It's a problem. Yeah.

Anyway, that's Roshin Murphy. She's a musician. Oh, right. Former gay icon. Yeah. She was the singer in Maloko, which was my favorite band growing up. Anyway, shall we dive into it? Yes.

Anyway, she's dead. Bye. Yeah. Bakers. Welcome back, listener. Hello, hello, hello. To this, our first topic of season three. Can you imagine?

Season three. Season three. Now, I bet you have a few questions for us. One, what baker's do you like? Number two, if you're going to drink a fizzy drink, what drink would it be? And I think I know the answer. But the real question is, what, what, what? was the start of season three about?

And I'm like, well, I've just been overseas. I'm leading into the category. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is what we call an introduction. Oh, right, right, right. This is classic season three. And so, I've just

been overseas, and I'm sure some of you might have an inkling as to why. But I went overseas for a job working on a television show, which is crazy and fabulous. And part of the perks of that was, I got to fly. We fly.

We fly. Across the world, business class. For the first time in my life, like one time I did get the upgrade when you could, you know, on Virgin flights, you can bid for the upgrade. Oh, is that how you did it? No. What? So on Virgin Flats, you can, like, it says, do you want to bid for the upgrade, which means that, like, you can bid up to, like, $200 or $300, but, like, down to $70 or whatever.

And so it's like, I was flying to Sydney, and then this is, like, for the Drag Race launch day. Yeah. But then they were like, do you want to bid for the upgrade? And that means if, like, they don't sell out business class and there's, like, a seat spare, they'll give it to the highest bidder. and then everyone else doesn't get charged Oh, you don't get charged No, no, no So then like

I was about to actually lose my mind No, so you can like Oh, you only get charged if you win it If you get it Yeah, if you get it and then like The rest of you just don't get it But Yeah, so it's like eBay shopping

Yeah, and if you're the only one that bids It's like 70 bucks And then you've And like particularly if someone Like Stan was paying for that flight It meant that I was like Oh, it's only 70 bucks And I get to fly

Like Business Weird's the best thing one of the best things about that was D.O.A. Drink on arrival. So, because of all of this, I got to fly

business. Uber. Have you ever flown business? No. Okay, well, listen, let me, I hadn't, I don't think I can go back. I can't go. Is it economy plus?

I can't go back to the, I can't be, there's a whole different plane happening at the front there. You, Like, you realize that the discomfort you feel flying is completely optional. Oh. And it always has been. That's how they get you?

In my mind, I'm like, well, flying is uncomfortable because you're flying. Do you know what I mean? Like subconsciously, I'm like, we're flying through the air. Of course, it's a bit uncomfortable. But that's a sacrifice to the science of, like, the innovation of being able to fly somewhere. I've never thought that. like I know consciously I knew that it could be better I just didn't realize that it was like

oh it doesn't have to be hell like it's like okay so for a price for a price and I think the price the price would have been like $12,000 so you said it was $70 that was that one time that I went to

Sidney up Zelda no I know but I didn't realize the price difference would be so extreme. So let me tell you, I get on, and it's a Thai airways flat from Melbourne. I don't think I've ever been one of them? I have. They're quite purple and white in their accessories. And so I walk in, and I'm about to turn right.

That makes all the difference. Like, like a labyrinth of old. I'm about to turn right into the coach, and I look down the alleyway and see the cattle being packed into their pen and I see like ten women holding like insane looking babies and then like

they were insane because they were like had googly eyes going five different directions and they were red in their face or they had smallpox or something and then I was and then like the woman looked at my ticket

and just like not that way And then, like, I like, look, the babies and the mothers looked at me and were like, and then I turned. And then I realized that there was a whole front of the plane that I'd never noticed before. And I was like, come through here, just beyond this curtain. And so then I walked through the curtain and there were these like pods. And every pod, which was completely self-contained, had one chair in it. there was not going to be anyone sitting next to me this day

I had my own pod I go into my pod room and it's angled in such a way that I can't even see anyone else no one knows I'm here in the pod I'm alone and my chair next to me okay then like number one

the storage bay above the pod is just for me no one else can put anything in there No one can put an insane huge thing and then take it for the rest of us. An insane baby. And they, no, I wish they would. But, like, no one can do that because it's just mine. And I can go.

You left your insane baby at home. Yeah, exactly. So I, like, put my little, like, carry on. But then I get down into my pod and there's, like, a cupboard, a little armrest that opens up, a little thing. And I'm like, and then... In a tiny house. It's like, there's so much storage space everywhere. And then I...

Like, you move in. Like, literally you could. And on my seat waiting for me is like a beautiful, like, blanket made from natural fibers and a pillow. And then I, like, move it off to the side and there's somewhere to put it. Because, you know, in the cattle class, when you get the pillow and blanket, like, it's on your seat, but in a way that's like, you've... it out. Because where else

you're going to put it? But when I could just lift it up daintily and put it to the large bench area on the side because there's a huge workspace you could prepare a fucking 12 course Christmas dinner on that thing. So I put it to the side and there's like a massive

TV screen in front of me. I sit down. Before I even had a chance to think this woman appears and she says would you like a drink? Sparkling water, champagne drink on arrival before I even had a chance

to think about anything Were you in the air at this point? No. Wow. Still on the ground. While everyone was boarding They were like, we don't want you to experience

a single second of discomfort. Have this beverage. And I'd learned, of course, from my small $70 trip in the sky that they take the drink off you if you don't finish it by take off. They're like, don't worry, there's more champagne,

but as a poor person I don't believe that so I'm like so then I knew to drink it all before they could wrestle it from my hand We just need to take this off you while we fly The next meal is guaranteed Madam please control yourself We'll pour you another glass in about five minutes

Are you sure What if you don't come back And so then they gave me They presented me with the menu which listed all the options that they had so they were going to be like they were like we're going to be serving and like they let you know a pretty like clear time frame

of when everything's going to be taking place so this we're going to do a drink service straight away when we take off and like we just did that didn't we no no no the drink service and that's not just this champagne which of course you can have as much of you like you know for the rest of the flight but we have a signature cocktail menu

you we have any drink you can think of you just let us know what you want and you can have any of those and then we're going to dive straight in because we're taking off and it's about like seven o'clock in the p.m. So we're going to go straight into dinner service so that you can get to what you want which is whatever you want. Yeah. And so then they're like these are the options. We're going to start with an entree and then a salad and then we're going to go into the main and these are the three options here. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. You can do this. And then you can pick from these two different desserts. And then,

um, then whatever, you know, then we're just going to have a great time. And I'm like, oh my God, thank you. I'll have the barramundi. And like, da, da, and she's like, pan-seared barramundi and a gorgeous, like, mozzarella salad with fresh cherry tomatoes. I'm like, I had thought all this time there was like foods you couldn't take up

to a certain altitude. Turns out the slop was just because we were the slop people. I was like, oh, well, Obviously, we're in space, so it's got to be like space food. Yeah. No, they can just pan, see a shit up there. They just don't want us to know. Yeah.

They have regular food in the sky. Oh, my God. Anyway, so I'm sipping my wine. I've made my decisions. I'm already fatigued from that. And then I noticed that there's a small little, like, zipped pencil case to my left. And it's, like, got this gorgeous floral print, the signature design, done by an artist, I believe. and I open it up

and it's got a variety of things that I might like to help me on my journey an eye mask, ear plugs socks, little socks so I can change into, you know, out of my shoes, into just little socks to wear while I'm flying. How could they have known your size? No, it's just a large general size.

Nice. An aromatic roller. Sorry? Yeah, it's got a small fragrance aromatic roller so you can like calm down but it's tiny and beautiful then some toothpaste but not just cold gate total no it's that fancy one the like fancy shishi one in the absolute you know the real like foil and it's got the man on it helmans or whatever oh yeah yeah yeah and then um a toothbrush brush, bamboo, you know, and then some small, like, little dental floss thing.

Oh, my God. And that's all just mine to keep for as long as I want. Or I can just leave it there. They don't care. And then in the other little side panel, there's some little slippers, if I'd like. Oh, my God. Anyway, so then I start testing out the settings. And I'm like, oh, my God, it, like, goes.

back quite far. No, bitch. It goes all the way back. You can lie down. Flat. Completely horizontal. What? You are flat. And I'm six foot tall and I was, I was able to completely lie flat. Yeah. That's like outrageous. I could like, I had a night's sleep lying flat. Is that why you're on an angle? So like, yeah. Like, yeah. Actually, your head is next to someone's feet, but there's balls between you. Well, and there, you know, how there's kind of that large bench space disguised inside of that bench is some woman's feet. And we're all piggybacking into each other. But when you're lying flat with your pillow, you can, and it has like a little massage function as well. Oh, really?

Yeah. And then, yeah, like has, and the headphones. I used to think that like Oh well obviously we can't just have nice headphones We've got to give you these shit ones Because you know space We're not a space Yeah yeah

No they were just like Bose headphones Like the ones we're wearing now for this podcast Wow They're just like obviously yes We can give you good headphones We just have been withholding that Yeah Yeah

And it was just incredible And then they're like And we have like I don't know Maybe there's 18 of us or something Like in the maybe 20 Of us in the business class they have like two bathrooms so it's like oh if you ever want to go to the bathroom there's not

going to be anyone in there wow it was amazing and then yeah just the like just sit down and watch your movies eat your food and the thing about it is I was like I can't go to sleep because I can't like miss a single moment of this and I was so like hello and then every time they're like I was like can I get another glass of champagne and then also the signature cocktail and they're like, of course and like didn't shame me and then when they came around for dinner service they brought out like a...

When they came around to my place for dinner. Yeah, when they stopped back. And also they were not... They were really amenable but not too friendly. And they brought out a cloth napkin and laid it down over the plastic table and like it covered the whole plastic table and then yeah, the meal was served

with all the different accoutremal. Like, the salad dressing came in its own tiny little jar. And all the pieces, you know, and the cutlery, they, you know, had the three for the different, you know, courses. Oh, my God. It was just obscene. Questions? Yes.

Did being horizontal in the pod feel coffin-esque? It was like Temple Grandin, like, I was getting, like, ensconced. Like, but because the pod is open at the top, you can still see the size of the room. We call open casket. Yeah, it's an open casket funeral where occasionally a woman comes to pay her respects and offer me in more champagne. Other times, she drapes a small cloth over you. Yes.

Goodbye. And it was fabulous. And then at the end, so we're like, we'll be doing breakfast now. And then they like, would you like fresh pastries and jam? and or would you like, you know, scrambled eggs and all the bits. Oh, buffet, hot breakfast. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, whatever you want.

Granola. Off the menu. And they're like, we'll do like another like service. And also like when I was like, oh, can I get like a, like a screwdriver, like a vodka, vodka orange. The woman took up one of those tiny little buffet bottles, like the little mini bar bottles of absolute vodka and then like in the tiny little like glass poured some OJ and then like the vodka and then gave me the bottle like gave me the tiny little bottle even though it wasn't fully depleted which later on when I was back in coach the woman like poor like wafted some of the alcohol

fumes near my own shoes and then like quickly put the lid back on and shoved it back into her cart so that she could do it for the rest of the fucking you know like yeah there was no Yeah. They're like, you can get blasted drunk here. We don't judge. And then, just as I thought it was all done, they came around and gave us all a box of chocolates. Just say thank you. Just to say thank you.

I was like, a gift. And they said, we just want to say thank you so much for coming. Wait, sorry, what kind of chocolate? It was like a really delicious, I'd say like 70% cacao. But it was just creamy, but not too saccharin. You know how sometimes the milk chocolate could be too much. But it was also in the most divine box. You know, it was not a hinged box.

It was two separate pieces that lifted away from each other. And then it had a sort of small square of like padded tissue paper that just lay atop the chocolates, just kissing them lightly. And then each chocolate in the box There was nine Had its own little compartment That was perfectly molded around its physique Yeah Fabulous

Yeah Yeah Well no And so then it was just incredible And then the next arm of the flight Was another first class experience Yeah I mean first class

Business class I can't even imagine what first class would be And then in that one It was a similar thing We could lie flat but it was open plan and I was like what has happened to my pod and then I was sat next to this guy

who sat next to this guy and we were both like sharing a very gargantuan armrest but a gargantuan armrest nonetheless and he it's where all the buttons were so when I wanted to go lie down I was like having to do that but the thing that he did is

he didn't want to use the inbuilt entertainment system. He wanted to use his laptop or iPad with leather case that folds out into stand. Oh, yes, it's, yes. Which he propped up over my button controls for my chair on the armrest. And then the first time I was like, okay, well, I'm going to go down now. And so I had to be like, oh, sorry, sorry. And you'd think immediately you'd recognize what a fool you'd been. Yes, I best not do that again.

Wow, this is really annoying He lifted it up, put it straight back down Oh my God And I was like, please Have some respect We are business people Are we not? I don't know how you conduct business

But in my business We'd never do that kind of business Not in my class Exactly Are we not of the business class And then The final leg of my journey was a, like, a smaller plane that, you know,

I'm sure many of you little bandits have figured out where I was going, but it was a smaller, you know, plane. But they, it was still a business ticket. But they didn't have, like, the facilities to put me in a pod. So they just give everyone a row of, like, regular, slightly, like, more, spaced out seats and they give you like a little card with a menu on it that's like would you like slap or gruel and you're like and then like it's just like a domestic flight but they're just trying to like jazz it up as much as possible to make you feel like it's like

the Christmas wish or something yeah um but see that's the scary thing about buying a ticket like that right is like you don't know a year in advance or whatever like what aircraft certain carriers I think because this this ticket was like

split between like Thai like it was all clearly purchased through Thai but then they're like Thai doesn't have carriers in certain regions so it's like

I think if you had your like your special travel agent who only works for the company they would like know how to get you there and like in style and then the trip home

even though it was still business bitch the gloves were off the veil had been pierced the pennies had fallen from my eyes or the scales or whatever because it was rough and it was like a disaster

I arrived at one airport and needed to hoof it like it was like 50 minutes until the next flight not 50 minutes until boarding 50 minutes until the next flight and this giant airport you needed to catch a monorail between two different halves of it so I got off one flight

got on the monorail and zipped across the other side and was like running in the dead of night through this giant empty mall like it was fucking dawn of the dead and like panting comes up to the thing and was like

has priority born and commenced I'm here for business I'm a business woman And then on that fly It was like All the things that I'd like You know now that I was business I started to have standards

That I didn't have before Like to me like A coach flight that goes well Is one where it's like There's no crying baby And the engine isn't like smoking Yeah Like this time I was like

it's a little bit hot in here and I called over the Stewart and I was like it's quite hot in here and they're like yeah does get a bit hot in the middle of the plane

and I was like the middle of the plane anyway so then I get off because the flight that this fucking sadist had put me on someone at the company had decided that like we were flying a really perverse route in order to avoid the United Arab Emirates

because I think that they have a bit of fear that that's going to cause issues. Which, you know, for some girls it would, I don't think anyone's going to like, I think for a doll, for the divas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I was a trans girl going through with like eight things of like drag luggage,

it might be an issue. Yeah. I don't think anyone's looking at me being like, get her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not when I'm traveling. And so then the last, leg of this flight, I was in

Phuket and I land in Phuket and I had been told in no uncertain terms that my luggage, my five pieces of luggage, giant pieces of luggage, we're going to go straight through to Melbourne and this is the end of

everything and then I get off the flat and then I'm like, the layover is 10 hours in Phuket. So like not enough time to do anything. but crazy. And so then this woman greets me as I'm getting off the flight

and she's like, are you, Robert? And I'm like, yeah, yeah. And she's like, okay, well, you need to go and pick up your luggage and recheck it in. And I'm like, what? Why would I? We're connecting him straight through. Because as well, like, I didn't want to like leave the airport and come back in

because, anyway, so she's walking me and a bunch of other kind of like lost children of the airport through and she points her over to this line and it's like getting that line go out get your luggage and check back in for your next flight yeah and like the line is massive it is so huge I immediately pull out my phone to take a picture and then I'm an armed soldier comes over to me and it's like do not take a photo no cameras in here and I'm like do you realize I'm business? I was business just a moment ago.

They gave me small chocolates. Anyway, so then I wait in this line that this woman's told me to wait in for an hour and a half. An hour and a half. Like in a line, one small line. And then I get to the front and I give my business. ticket and passport to this lady and it's humid and I have curly hair to add insult to injury and then she says oh yep okay amazing well I'm not going to be able to let you through because you don't have the passing like passing through credentials you need to go and

fill out this form and I think what what form and she's like oh it's just the form when you like exited the plane you'd have seen there's like consoles on your left and i was like when i exited the plane i was being guided by a woman who works for the airport yeah and told to get in this line yeah so if there was anything that i would have innately like guided myself towards that opportunity was lost because i was relying on this staff member maybe you know her maybe you've seen her at the christmas party um but yeah and then she was like okay well maybe the you take the express line for like Thai residents um when you come back and I was like okay well who do I talk to about then just like just go go go and I'm like okay I'm starting to understand

where this line was fucking hour and a half long um anyway so then I like exit the line and then I see these two guys who are standing near and they're like also soldiery guys like security guys and I'm like hi um so like I just got sent back but I just have to stop over at that kiosk but I just waited in the line for an hour and a half. And the woman at the gate said that it might be possible for me to go through the Thai resident express lane. And this guy laughs in my face, my frizzy-haired face, and says, no one here would ever say that.

No one here would ever say that. I had been given chocolates and slippers. now no one here would ever say that you're acting crazy in the airport and I'm like what I'm I just waited an hour and a half yeah well now you're gonna have to do it again without even skipping a beat this like awful man awful and I'm like to what end

and then I'm like Googling who do I complain to about this turns out no one no one cares they're like if you've had an international incident at like Phuket airport I'm like well I wouldn't say it was an international incident I'd say it was more of a business but I would say it was a sliding

it was quite rude and then I go to the iPads and they're like fill in your details here about like and I'm like this is just too much for me I have been flying

for 17 hours and then I fill in the thing and I'm like now what is it going to print a docket to take up to this woman at the gate? And the woman at the iPads area was like, no, you just pull out your phone and take a photo of it. And I'm like, oh, now we're taking photos. Oh, now it's legal because you don't have a docket printer here.

Okay, good. Well, you're lucky that I left my phone on. You're lucky that I didn't abide by the rules so much. And so then I take a photo, official document on the screen. and head back into the line. An hour and a half later, I arrived back at the front of the, like, queue. Thankfully, don't have the same woman,

spared myself that embarrassment, and then go out, get through fine. But by that point, it's been three hours since I got off my flight. My luggage has disappeared, my five pieces of luggage. So then there's another delight. line, which is the luggage information center. And I go up to that, and there's these women disputing their lost luggage. There's this other woman who's just joined behind me, who's angling to try and get in front

of me, like, immediately seeing her just trying to push in at every opportunity because she's, like, obviously pissed off and stressed. And I'm like, if you want to do this diva, give it a shot. There's no one's going to film you because no one can. that I'll never see the photos of lazy Susan beating the ever-loving shit out of you. Oh, my God, you're a jerk at airport. And so then I, we in line, then finally, someone's like, oh, yeah, have you checked down the end of that long corridor, like, past the flickering lights and, like, ghost of the woman that died here five years ago? And then I went down there, and there was my luggage, all five pieces alone.

No, because the rest had been taken by the people who knew to fill out the form. And then I'm like, okay, all I need to do to get past this last week. Like moving five pieces of luggage on one of those tiny joke trolleys, looking crazy because it's five pieces of luggage. I'm like, because, yeah, and I've seen them out, they're all really heavy as well. And I get out and I'm like, I don't know how to get out of the. the building and back into the building. So then I come out of the building and it's like monsoon rain, humidity at 100%.

And everyone's like, do you want a cab? Do you want a cab ride into the city? And I'm like, no, no! I want toilets. I want swimmer. And then I like wheel myself around outside for a little bit, finally get back inside, realize there's like a tiny sign that's like departures this way and then it's just an escalator and I'm like how do I get up I have five pieces of luggage and there's an escalator and then I'm like

walking around and see this like random like hole in the wall and that goes through to like the main section of the airport where there's an elevator I finally get up and then I get to the like area where my flight will be leaving from and I walk over and I'm like hi so I'm just I'm flying um do you know when check-in's going to open like check in normally opens three hours before the flight's going to depart and I'm like oh but it's six hours before the flight's going to depart and like yeah you'll just have to wait in this like four court and like the you mean this four court with the like two shops that have no seating and then just like just tiled floor as far as the I can see

and like a hundred thousand other tired looking tourists who are just like sitting on their bags and they're like yeah yeah I'm like oh thank you because I was like in my mind I was like I'm going to go to the lounge that you get to go into when you have business tickets because you're the business woman

yeah but I can't get to the lounge It's on the other side. Anyway, so then I wait the three and a half hours in this, like, just sitting on my luggage. And then finally I see it. You could have made a little, yeah, a little nice enough luggage to make a three-seater. I had a whole house, yeah. You could have made your own business class. I was thinking Minecraft, yeah.

And then finally it opens and I rush over. And this is where the final insult happens because this business class flight, was booked on perhaps the cheapest way you could get someone on business home, Jetstar. Oh. I don't think Jetstar has business. Certainly not a business that I'd like to be a part of. And I walk up and I check in my luggage and I'm so grateful and they make me pay a second fee, which I don't have to pay for.

But they were like, you do have to pay again. And I was like, they didn't tell me that when they said my luggage was going straight the way through. And they're like, no, no, you do have to pay again. Of course. And I'm like, of course. And I'm like, just thank you so much for checking that luggage. Can you direct me to the business lounge? And she said, oh, we don't have one of those here. Jetstar doesn't do that. And I'm like, right, of course. Why would they have, however they have. They fly out of Phuket all the time, but why would they have access to a lounge here? So then I get, Into the main airport, and thankfully there are some options there for seating and dining, but, you know, nothing away from these crazy-looking babies. And then, finally I get on the flight, and they're like, the business there, my seat just goes back, like, I don't know, a little bit more than coach. And I'm watching, and they're like, the guy comes over to, like, show me the menu options,

and he's like, well, here's the options, but you can't have the first one, because we just offered it to all the other people first and they got it. And I'm like, right, so my ticket costs the same amount as theirs or what? And then he's, I'm like, so why did you ask me what option do I want? Yeah. There's just one now, Brent. Give me that, I guess. And then he walks away and like, yeah, it was like this weird alternate universe where I'm like,

none of this is life. and then I look over and there's water dripping out of the ceiling on this old rich woman's hair and she's just getting water dripped on her and I don't know if she knows but it's just like

assessable and it was awful and I'm never doing that again so the moral of the story is Ty has got their shit together Thai Airways, but not Thai airport. Yeah. If I ever find that security guard, he's going down.

Wait, which one? What I got from it was it's a roll of the dice with business. Oh, I think it's a roll of the dice if you are new to it. I think that a savvy business woman, like if I have ever presented with this opportunity again to fly business. You would be in control of... I would have seen the itinerary that was presented to me before it was locked in to clarify

where I hadn't clocked that there was a 10-hour layover because I was like, oh, I just assume you know what you're doing. Great, like, why would I... But I think if I was... Someone got fired. Why did? I sent the most insane email when I was in Pouquet at like hour eight.

be like, hi team, just wanted to say, this trip home has not been ideal. And next time you need to fly people from Australia, just bear in mind that this flight will have taken me 36 hours to get home. And there's no version of business class that's going to make that okay. But just so you know, Jet Star is not an airline of business. It's not an airline. It's not airline. It's a sore challenge.

I just saw them take out an old lady with fucking Chinese water torture. What is it waterboarding? Yeah. And they only had one dinner option. And the 10 hours where I had to check my, recheck my huge amount of luggage. That's the most, that's horrible.

Yeah. I think it's like that becomes pretty, bad but also it's like that is something that I wouldn't expect someone who doesn't fly out of Australia a lot no one in the world like unless you have lived down under has had the experience of like to get anywhere a good version of that is going to be like 25 hours yeah like minimum yeah yeah it's it's why people don't leave Australia no it's impossible it's why people don't come here either. Yeah.

To think that all three Charlie's Angels came to appear on rovely. That's insane. And we didn't appreciate it as much as we should. No, we didn't know what they'd been through. No. Any interview with any famous person that's ever come here, you need to first remember that they were on a flight for 35 hours before they got there. If Iron A Grande said something crazy to the MX in 2012, know that that's why.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So what's the topic? Oh, what thing from first business class gets in? Now, Zelda, I'm going to ask you, because I've now laid it all out for you. Yeah.

Which of those things gets into the bunker for only our business class players? Oh, yes, of course. Flying through the end of time. Okay, wait. First, I've got a question. Yes. On your good experience, experience number one, did the staff on the flight attend, like did the crew attend to like business class and the PLEBs?

Oh no. They were like you had also exclusive staff. Yes. Because so what do you think? Which is the case on all the flights. Oh, okay. Yeah. No, there's no crossover between the like.

So even the employees. disease have been classed. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And they have a kind of, they know how to deal with us, you know, business people. Sort of questions we might ask. Do you think that that is just like, luck of the draw? Do you think it's a promotion? Do you think it's just like a rostering? Yeah. I think it's like, you know, you're running, you know, obviously, you know, Tessa or whatever that girl's name is, that probably works in first class dining or business class. They'd be like, Tessa, this role is amazing. It comes with a lot more fun.

We do have fun up here. But it also comes with a lot more responsibility because you'll be serving some of the titans of industry. There's extra training. You'll leave here. You'll leave Thai airways. We'll have this on your resume. You'll be able to walk into any.

airplane and just start serving with this on your resume you can do that we'll show you the secret rooms on the plane the tiniest of kitchens yeah you'll never have to look at crazy

yeah we'll never let you see a crazy baby are getting allowed and what you'll lose what you'll lose in insane babies what you'll lose in insane babies and angry people angry poor people you're gay and repugnant rich people

yes yeah And they will be some of the worst fucking people you've ever met. Okay, yeah, that's good. Unless it's their first time and then they'll be super grateful. Well, yeah, exactly. And they could smell it on me. Okay, so of all those things that you experienced.

Well, also, just quickly, I said that the other thing was, when I got off halfway through my flight there, I got to go to the lounge. And when I got there, they were like, oh just help yourself to the buffet get yourself a drink use the free Wi-Fi plug in get into one of these large lazy boy chairs

or you can go down there and have a shower and so I went in and this woman gave me a towel and like sent me into my own private bathroom which had a shower and all the like toiletries and everything so I just got to change my clothes and have a full shower before my next flight oh

oh is that not insane That's incredible. It was like life changing. Did you feel pressure to like be quick? No. No, because it was like ample bathrooms and there was no one else using them. I love having a shower.

Yeah. I wish I was having a shower right now. You could just use as much of everything as you wanted. Hot water didn't run out? No, kept going. And then yeah, the massive buffet of anything you could ever dream of. Wow. Including local cuisine.

So I was like, it's like a bean here. Don't ever need to come back here. It's like a bean. Jesus. Okay. All the newspapers. They were all there. Okay.

Okay. Well, because business people, we need to know. Where's the business section of this newspaper? It's all just business section, is it? Oh, I see. Current affairs. Okay, so just the We're only selecting from the experiences

And the things on flight I think I'll allow you to add The shower if that that's the titulation I mean, okay, so the showers now obviously a high contender The other things I really enjoyed Was the woman who walked you past The thing that you needed to do Doubling your line time

She sounds like she's got bunger energy That is strong But there was a lot. Can I also say there was one more injustice at the start of that trip, which was when I went to go, okay, so I'm booking in five pieces of luggage to fly from my original destination, my point of departure, to my destination. And then I went to the woman. I was like, I need to do, da, da, da, da. And then she was like, okay, that'll be $1,500, which is being paid for by the company, thank God. but that's great because they hadn't booked it on the original ticket it needed to be paid

for at airport prices the response in Melbourne was are you sure like the girls at the gate were like why would you be doing that anyway 1500 bucks thanks and then this one was like yeah that'll be $1,500 and then she took the my bags and was like go and pay over in that area over there I walk to that area over there And walk up and there's like You know it's bank teller style Maybe like six women sitting behind like Bulletproof class

And then one Like maybe two of them become free And I amble over to one of them And then as I do this woman comes out from the back And she's like And then like slowly as I'm walking up to this like window All the other women finish the tasks

that they've been doing and then all the windows are free and I'm like oh great and then this woman looks at me and she's like Hi have you taken a number? I'm like I was told to come here and pay

yeah you need to take a number and she points back like to the doorway where there's like a little iPad set up and I'm like oh okay and I'm like looking at all these women and then she like goes over and picks up a giant

the biggest Stanley Cup that's ever existed and just takes a long sip and starts chatting with her friend and I'm like, oh okay and so I walk back and then like press this thing and it spits out a little docket that says like number 14

and I look over the screen it says like number 13 and then I'm like standing there and she's like sipping from her Stanley Cup just sitting and then like 30 seconds goes by and all these women are just sitting there and then it goes

bing And then the woman goes, number 14. Oh, my God. And I was like, are you? And then I'm like, hi. And she's like, come down. Which country was this in? Oh, this is the first country.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Oh, that's so good. Okay, so that's definitely ranking higher than the shower. I still don't know if it's so evil oh wow um also I needed to know that in my mind

this airport that you're in is like kind of looks like the office in Madman uh you know what it was of a time gone by yeah yeah um but I really like at that point I was like I do now understand why you need

bulletproof glass because you guys If it wasn't there, I would be dead. If you guys, I've never killed a man. I've never, but your, your vibes in this, like, two-minute interaction have probably sent me closer to the feeling of murder than I've ever gotten. Yeah. One obscene thing to ask me to do it.

Oh, also, when I was sent back to the line by the guy and was trying to plead my case for getting into the express line, instant to avoid the hour and a half. sign he's like look there's signs everywhere I look around this a giant sign that says do not take photos about fucking ineptitude on your camera phone um looking around no sign no sign then find one little laminated sign that says like go to the kiosk and he's like and there's a speaker and he points up in there's a giant like low bass speaker that has been drowning like droning on through the entire time yeah speaking in fucking German and like maybe once every five minutes it relays its message in

English so I'm like oh forgive me your incredible messaging didn't reach me and you didn't have a sign anywhere else I'm like I didn't wait in that line for an hour and a half because I saw your incredibly clear messaging and then decided I'm a rebel let me do it my own way I waited because what the like you have clearly failed. I'm telling you your messaging is not working.

You can't just point to your shit speaker and say, how could you not speak German? Okay, well, now the speaker

is quite high on the list because that sounds really quite good. We need a bit of ambience. It was awful. That's amazing.

Okay. Okay, so prior to these last editions, yeah, the Devatron, who walked you past the critical thing, she was number one. Yeah. I mean, there's been a lot of talk about the chocolate box. What color was the box? Okay, so it was white, and then it had a foiled silver, but it wasn't it was not embossed it was de-bossed so it was like it looked like a pillow

and then I I gifted my dear friend Julia Stretch mom drag queen I had like gotten her some like nice miniature D&D dice because you know for her birthday when I was in Adelaide and I was like I need to get her a gift because it's about to be her birthday but I haven't properly like thought about it and then And I also got like a little dice bag because now that she's really into D&D. And then I was like going to get her D&D character name and like cut it on my crickut. And then I and set it onto this like gorgeous little leather bag that I got. And then like just as I was trying to like an hour before heading to her birthday celebrations,

hit it with an iron, melted the pleather and destroyed this like quite nice little D&D bag because I just wasn't thinking. I was like, no! And then so I used that box and wrapped it in some, like, you know, different contact sheeting and made a little home for all the dice. So now the chocolate box is a dice box. That's right. Cool. Now we know the story.

Yeah. Well, that takes it out because it's a dice box. Fair enough. Okay. I also loved, like, private little cabinet. Yes. Oh, such good cabinets. The feeling of the pod

make me feel a bit claustrophobic and like Buffy being buried in a coffin. I think we need to get you on one of these flights because I will be interested to know if your height is just if you can really like enjoy it. Because you're three inches longer. Yes.

What a strange way to say that. How else did you say? Well, no, can't be denied. Oh, yes, I suppose that's the word. Whatever. I'm thinking about her being laid down on a table. Yes. Like some sort of Christmas sausage.

A long sausage? A three inches longer. He used to measuring something else. Oh, Matthew. This is season three. We can't have your antics. Yes. Wait.

And we're joined by Matt. Space guy I've been here I've been here the whole Oh my gosh Well that's why You know it's really hard To pick up from season three

Like you should I did an episode last week But you both weren't here I would love if it was a matter in the episode A lot of Quiet time And occasional giggles I might get a word

Oh I get a word in Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh Oh

Oh Oh Anyway. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay. No, of all the things. This is a small aromatic roller.

Yeah, that's pretty good. I love. Marvin's is the name of the toothbrush, toothpays. Okay. You need to chew something that you can't get somewhere else, that you can't just get in real life. well we can't get that speaker it's bilingual I did um I actually don't

you can't even get a photo of the speaker no so you can only take a photo of the iPad screen that the speaker's talking about um the whole system there I think that's it is interesting I did learn a lot about like each different airport is an interesting reflection of the cultures that it is born from

and like the first place where I was asked to take the number, I would think it's like an addiction to aggressive compliance. And like a kind of like, well, we have order. Yeah. And that is the way we like it. Yeah.

Okay. Because I also am envisioning that machine because you said you had to put in an iPad and then it spat out the thing, which is unfortunate because in my mind it's very like you've gone to Safeway and it's like Delhi ticket kind of thing. Had it been a jelly ticket dispenser, I might not have shot that woman.

Yes. Yeah. And it would have gone in the bunker. Yeah. But it wasn't. I don't want a digital, like what, like an iPad that's stuck in a frame. Also, I mean, like the amount, I don't know when I became this person, but every time I see an iPad, I guess it was COVID, I just think about like, why can we just not do something that everyone is touching? Can we just like minimize those sorts of objects where everyone is like,

because it's like a little single grab card ticket. Yeah, yeah. It's just mine. Yeah. You've really got that energy now after your first class experience. But if I even know what happens in first class. I'm sure, like, is it just another plane that flies ahead of the first one? I think so.

Oh, look, I'm pretty into the speaker, but I'm kind of tempted. to put that woman in leading people to flights they'll never get on well okay but what should she be doing in the bunker well when i first got off the plane so it's while we were still in the um what the the canal yeah up into the the main hub and as i walked on and you know how like when you kind of come out of those flights and things you're not really thinking about anything except for like, get me out of here. Yeah.

And also, you're not, like, whenever you hear, like, an announcement at the airport, you don't ever think it's for you. Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, I would just, like, I pretty much put my headphones in and drowned that out. And so this was one of those weird things where I was walking up, and she was standing in front of a list of names and saying the names. And she's like, are you, like, and then I, like, looked over and saw my name and was like,

what? like this is so weird yeah um you've seen the show um and then yeah but then she like collected a bunch of people like sieving us out from the crowd and I can't decide if she no the tone had already been set

what was her vibe because in my mind she's very um you know in season two avatar that that woman and is that in Basing Say yeah Judey There's no war in Bursing case. Is she, like, that energy?

Yeah. And do you know, I think, like, I think the other people on my flight had more going on. Yeah. I think maybe there was, like, because I've been in a situation when we're coming back from Benign's wedding, where we had, like, a flight transferred that was, like, maybe 30 minutes, and the flight was running late. And they came and, like, whist us off the plane and helped us get our connection. and you got to go through, like, this private small security. And, like, I thought it was going to be like that.

I thought, like, I was like, I'm going to put my life in your hands. Yeah. But this woman betrayed me. Yeah. She's in. She's the one. Yeah, that's good. Every morning, a list appears.

She's standing in front of it. And then she just walks you around the back corridors. Yeah. Of the bunker. giving people of the doomsday world a kind of taste of what life was like and you're going to need to go to the carousel, the luggage carousel find your boarding gate and then you if you are selected by this woman she's kind of like a grim reaper type oh yes but when your name comes up

and you're kind of inducted into a hellish bureaucracy. You do have to go and collect your luggage, which you don't remember ever having, from the carousel, and then you have to wheel it around until check-in opens. But check-in never opens, and there's no check-in desk. So occasionally you'll see someone in the bunker

walking around with one of those awful tiny little cars. Yes. With all this luggage that they don't seem to remember ever having owned. Well, that's because it's five pieces of luggage from a drag queen. Yes, yeah. And they're not a lot. Yeah, and they kind of just walk around waiting for the thing to open.

Yeah. And it just doesn't exist. And then that Thursday's over. Yeah. Yeah. And then they like see that woman from time to time and they're like, ma'am, am I going the right way? And she's like, and then she just disappears.

Someone in this bunker would never. say something like that yeah yeah they would never even think to speak to that woman yeah what do you what do you think her name was the devil oh yeah yeah probably something like that beelzebub yes uh lucifer uh susy satanus yeah yeah i don't know i just hope wherever she is now um she's in a lot of pain She's in the bunker now. Yeah. Yes.

So mission accomplished. Well, congratulations. Was she, do you think she was Thai? Yes. Okay. What, we need to, what are we entitling her? Like, airline employee? Yeah.

Hmm. Hmm. What would her name be? Hmm. Let's, yeah, we can leave her. as airline employee for now and then we'll figure out our favorite um tie name yeah we'll do that next week's episode yeah yeah yeah okay great okay perfect we'll be right back bye bye back welcome back welcome back listener sorry that was a long one i'm aware that that was a long one but we

had to get it down. Oh, we simply had to. Because there's questions about that. So these two ones are going to be nice little shorty. Yes. Oh, well. Well, oh God, what have you done? Okay. What have you done? I don't know. Self-raising. I don't know how. Which flower? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. No?

I was going to say 0.0. Oh. What does that even mean? What does it all mean? That's good for pizza dough. I know that. I know that. I was saying that for the bit. Um, no. I was going to say which Skellington gets into the bunker. Witch Skelington. Wait, is the Skelington a witch?

Which Skelington? And you were just making a declarative statement. Which Skelington gets into the bunker? You're right. Witches Skelington does. Next. Which Skelington? Okay.

Here's a thought. Yeah. The Loss Raptor from the intro to Jurassic Park. Oh, yeah. Splayed on the ground with its big. Big thing hanging out. Big thing hanging out. Yeah, the claw on its foot.

Oh. Okay. Yeah. And then what about the T-Rex at the Natural History Museum? Pretty cool. Is there whale bones above something? There's the blue whale, but we already have, we have, there was a point where we strung up Carrie Fisher's bones like that whale.

Yes, that was the first episode. Yeah. Bones, Skellington, Jack Skellington, he's tall. He's tall. And is his tie, bowtie? A bat? A bat? Call him bat Skelington when you're just like that.

The cat Skelington that, uh, Azalea Banks dug up from her backyard and then cooked in a pot in her kitchen. That's right. She's doing spells. Yeah. Oh, that's a pretty good contender. That's a witch Skelington. Yeah.

Um, that's a pretty good one. I think it's funny that Skelingtons are so, like, they're not quite A-tier like mummy or vampire. A-tier. Oh, S-tier. No, no, no. Oh. I thought you said something else.

Isn't that A-tier? What are you saying? Oh, it doesn't matter. No. But, you know, like, Skelentons are everywhere during Halloween. Yeah. But they're never like that star of a movie. True.

But you know that footage? What's that? Skellington 2. What movie is it that like in like when you get a clip of like, oh, the first movie ever? And it's like the stop motion Skellington fighting gladiators. Jason and the Argonaut. What is that? That's Jason and the Argonaut.

I want to watch that. It looks so cool. Can we put in one of those? Yeah, that's pretty good Skellington. That's pretty good. And when Tim Burton re-did it for that Killers music video? I like Brandon Flowers. Matt, do you think you have the energy of Brandon Flowers?

Who is that? The lead singer of the killers. Oh, yeah. The energy of him? Yeah. What do you mean, the energy? I don't have any energy. Does he have energy?

I think he does. No, you should watch an interview with him and see, like... A vibe. His vibe. Oh. I think you might have his vibe. You reckon? Not, don't base it off your thoughts of the killers, base it off the videos that you're going to watch.

Of him. Of him. Of him. What about medical cadavers? Like that kind of Skellington. Yeah. That's like. The doctor's office, Skellington. Yeah. I'm like, I love that doctor's office just has like permanent Halloween. Yeah. But you know what? Those are so expensive. Yeah. Like, so expensive. With real bones. Yeah. Oh, with real bones, it would be expensive.

Well, I mean, also just like with anatomically correct ones. Yeah. You'd think that the real bones one would be cheaper. Yeah. People die all the time. That's it. There's too many people in the world. Yes.

Yeah. But weirdly, that's not the case. Did your brother's a surgeon? Yes. So he has a... He's got it, Skellington. That I've... What does he do with it?

Like, when he was a... a medical student, he got it when he was learning, I don't know, where the bones were. Yeah, basically. I guess that makes sense, but it just seems very literal. Yeah. There's that one. This one. That's where the other. There she is. Yeah. Finger one. Ah, yeah. Yeah. And then he has a few other models that are like, more like blown up of joints and stuff. Which bone did we put into the bunker? Which bone? Didn't we put a bone in? like shin bone or something we haven't done bones yet i don't think so oh well we'd obviously put in bones from the show bones um yeah yeah so he has also maxi-sized yes to like focus in on like

what one bone joints or something yeah yes yeah i'm just like part of me thinks that it's just for the aesthetic uh the correct part of you would be saying that yeah they're just like i'm a doctor i need to have this yeah yeah because now it's just been in his office forever he has an office like in his house oh yeah yeah i didn't imagine your brother having an office for some reason like at his work yeah i just imagined him walking in and being like talking to a woman in a gurney and being like i'm gonna cut you up today and then like leaving and taking off gloves and then going into the next room and be like she's dead that is it

except for the dead part I think I was going to ask him next time I see him but maybe it's a sense he ever killed someone well certainly it happens eventually like surgery is very dangerous right like especially like he's an orthopedic surgeon so it's not that dangerous

because he does like hip replacements or like broken bones and stuff but it's anytime anyone goes into anesthetic yes that's the thing like the going under part is so... Going to another. I control myself before when you said part of me. This is a part of me that you're never going to ever take away from me.

You're sticking in stones. There we go. You'll never take me. Anyway. But yeah, it's the going under part that's real dangerous. zone yeah in surgery anyway um not a sugar skull sorry oh wow what is that like it's not how long have you hated the people of mexico their fault it's not their fault but there was that period of like 2012 or whatever yeah where there were too many there was too many sugar skulls like like

misrepresented and mass-produced. Well, that's, yeah. But, you know, what the mass-produced is, it's just the white element. That's what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. So it's not their fault, but God is like,

it's a delight when you're in Mexico and you're like, it can be mass-produced here and like. Charming. Yeah. Like, I'm like, we should have more candy that is skulls. Wait, are they actually made of, what are you saying? Like, just like, I wish at Christmas time we could be hanging up skulls. Oh, yes.

I guess Jack Skellington had a very similar idea. Let's put him in. He's just Gellington. He is Gellington. He is. I mean, it's in the name. I don't think he has a role to play in the apocalypse. He's really...

Who else is bringing Christmas? He's selfish. Yes. And he's so rude. And tall. Then it's so tall and gay. So gay. Yeah.

Sorry, Sally. Sassy. Yes, Sally. Yeah. Honey, get ready to be a beard. Every man in Nightmare for Christmas is gay. gay gay um ugy boogie boogie gay obviously the mayor gay two-faced gay yeah mentally ill and gay yes um even that little the trick or treating

children are so diva yeah they're friends with katherine o'hara of because they yeah yeah pee-wee yeah a little faggots um dr finkelstein so i'm like honey you made a woman yeah Okay Sally Where's my soup? I love the animation of like The soup going through the whole It's so good

Just one of the few Live like actual footage In the film not stop motion But it's done so like Sally And the vampires Oh my god And their tiny umbrellas

Just for looks Maybe the werewolf man is the only straight one Nah He's wearing plaid Nah That's like Huey energy Just a performance Mr Hugh Jackman

Yeah Yeah everyone is gay Even Of Sandy Claus Straight I think that is it It's about the gay world Going to the street world

Because everyone in The Halloween town is gay yeah yes yeah it's really just santa that gives like straight and so straight yeah like not fun no like only an ally publicly oh yeah he hated skellington yes and all he wanted to do was make it more fabulous and what the heck i really did my best That's so good Yeah Yeah That's a good bone But no

I think a skeleton Has to be one that like The triceratops I love the skeleton And like poltergeist Where like the basement is flooding And then there's suddenly that real world Skellington that appeared

But like they're used as a prop Skellington in the film But I love like Indiana Jones Skellington where it like launches itself forward and it's like but it's like oh it's just the Skellington but it's like got like a weird offset jaw and it's like ah ha ha ha ha yeah yeah like I love

that yeah like old Skelly yeah that that that that movie that you said that I instantly forgot Jackson and the oh Jason and the Argonaut DJ Argonaut DJ Daddy Argonaut yes yeah that Skellington yeah like stop motion old Skellington.

Who would play her? Hmm. Hmm. Nicole. Nicole, Skelling Hands. Yes, yeah. Okay, well, let's put in stop motion Jason and the Argonauts.

But does that meet your like Skellington vibe? I mean, like, I prefer Skellington's just falling on people and then we're like, oh. I think... Yeah.

Skellington to me is like better when it's not magical or animated, it's just unexpected. Like, and like, because they're so funny. Okay, wait. So do we put, okay, yeah, I am on board with that. Do you know what I mean? Like, it's like, I saw the other day, you know, in that like, um, bodies preserved bodies exhibition, how all those people have donated their real life bodies to science.

There's a woman whose son went missing who's convinced herself that her son, despite all evidence to the contrary, is one of the bodies. And that he like disappeared and then appeared in the, the, the, exhibition. Oh, my God. And she's been trying to get DNA test done for, like, ages. And it's like, she's clearly just having a real hard time with the loss of her son. Jeez.

But that's quite funny. Is it? Yeah. Imagine walking into it. That's my son. It's just like. Bagging on the glass. What is you?

I was just like, I think. Oh, that's. So awful. That's the thing that's really funny about, um, like that, that, that, um, grandmother who donated her body to science. And then the kids, the grandchildren found out that like, the, the, the, the, the use of her for science was like, the US army had bought the body to test, like, explosives. And so there was, they'd like, seen footage of their, like,

grandma's dead body getting exploded. Oh my God. And they were like, come on. Like, why did you do that to Gam Gam Gam? Like, it's so cruel. But I think it is kind of funny. And also just like the Skell, like the Skellington of it all,

like all of us becoming Skellington. Yes, yes. And then people doing funny things without Skellington remains. That's why I want to be buried. Oh, what? Why is that? So I'm a Skellington. You want to be a skeleton.

Why on earth? What? I've grown these bones all this time. What? I'm then just going to turn them to dust. Well, that's, I think the value of being dust is like no one can play with your Skellington. No, I'm dead.

Make the best of it. Make the best out of the Skellington. Yeah. What are we going to do with your skeleton? Well, that's it. We can test flights, flight pods. Yes. Yes.

It seems to have crushed her. Retract this. we'll try again It's It's stuck at the mechanism The bone And she really snap her Just you and future coach

snapped into It seems the mechanism has snapped Another cadaver Yeah that's see That's better than being dust Sorry I love Sorry you go ahead

I know It's not my podcast I love the idea of being dust Because Like It's just like Sprinkle little bits of me everywhere But do you know my friend's cat died recently

Valet But the vets were like So you can get the animal cremated And we'll give you some the ashes back But if for an extra like $300 you can get the deluxe package Which means we burn it on its own otherwise we do like the Monday burn

which is like 50 of the neighborhood animals burnt down into one ash pile and then maybe some of your cats in there but like you're also got like Jones parakeet and like rusty but give me the carcass of my dead animal back goodbye but I'm like do you have a bag

I'm there's no way they're doing an individual will burn for the $300. They're just saying that. How do you know? Jesus. How do you know? Wow. I also don't care.

Who cares? Who cares what the dust you're going to imbue with that? Meaning it doesn't. It's dust. It's dust. It's not a cool skeleton like Zelda Moon's Skellington. Yeah, string it up. Bring it out every year for Halloween.

I just think about all the work of connecting all those burns back together. That's why those skeletons are so expensive. Yeah. To get them to hang. And that's where the cost is. But also that's why she's not a diva, like of Halloween. Yeah. Because like, it's a costume that's impossible because, like, I'm not see-through.

We just don't have the technology. No, and you can't put on see-through costume with just the bones, levitating. Yeah. So it's just always going to be you in like a DVR. Yeah, Jake Gyllenhoul can never play. Skellington. No. No one ever could. Yeah. Yeah, you're so right for that. That's rough. Yeah.

What are we putting in? Jack. No. Throwing skeletons at people. Oh, yes. Oh, that's what I was going to say. So, we should put in a cupboard. We should put in a cupboard, just a door and a wall. Yeah. And then when you

open it, you're like, what's it in this cupboard again? And a little skeleton pops out. I forgot my favorite. I don't know that she's full Skellington, but she is on the road to Skellington, one of my favorite Skellingtons. That, at the end of Psycho,

when the Skellington turns around in the chair, and it's like, you know, Norman Bates' mother? Oh, I've, no. Well, listen. Oh, my God. You know, this hotel owner,

his mother has died, and like, she's Skellington now, but she's still dressed up in her night dress. with a little hat on. Oh. And, like, it's good. Yeah.

Wait, are you retrieving an image of this Skellington? Yeah. Yes. She's got, like, this gorgeous, like, wispy hair and this, like, insane look on her face. She does still have some skin, though. One other good Skellington, which don't really count, but I love in Mars attacks, ray guns that then turn you a little... Into like Skellington before.

Yeah, that's good. Okay, so now I'm sending you a picture and viewers at home, you need to know. I think the thing that I find most appealing about this skeleton is her expression and her gorgeous hair. Oh, lock it in. Put her in the bunker. What the hell?

Just the way she swivels around in that chair. Because we know there's a skeleton under there, so that still counts. And also, the first image result comes from the website, Fandom. And she's in the movie villains fandom. I'm like, Norma Bates is the villain. She's just a Skellington. She's not doing anything. She's the victim.

She's got a villainous smile. Wait, did you say Norma Bates? Yeah, I didn't realize that he was Norman and she was Norma. Well, that's why she's a villainous. villain yeah that's crazy who does that hmm but also yeah like drag queen yes um well she's in yeah so like a cupboard where norma just flops out correct yeah love it out flop it out so often said uh we'll be right back chow for now to every one

Hello, listener. Final category. Sorry, this one's a long end, but we're catching up. It's season three, season three premiere. Yeah. And this is going to be the longest of them all.

Oh, no. Self-phrasing. I was going to say double zero. No. Which element gets into the bunker As in which RPG video game element So you know when you're like playing Fun Fantasy 10 And you know that I do not

That's why I was kind of going to explain it too Oh go on And the listener Yeah well And Matt? Or Matt knows You know what I'm talking about I know something Yeah you know

So So being the queen of the RPG, Fana Fantasy the franchise. We'll use her as like the baseline example. But in video games and by extension other things, there's like elements in terms of like magic spells. So if you were, I don't know, like Lulu, the fabulous woman in Final Fantasy 10

whose outfit is made of a thousand belts, she would have like fire spells, electricity spells. Uh-huh. um water spells uh-huh controversially ice spells which where is the line between ice and water magic cooling mm temperature yeah um but then there's always like um like dark magic and light magic um and sometimes there'll be like an earth magic and sometimes there'll be a wind magic and what about heart no what about fairy type no no

Because they did that in Pokemon. Yes. What's happening there? That's not it. No. Okay. So we're specifically speaking RPG elements. Yeah.

Because there's like some that will like have a system, like a tri system where there'll be like three queen elements. And usually it's like fire, water, electricity. Mm-hmm. Then sometimes next to that you also have like light and dark, which are usually just like against each other. other times there'll be like a more complex web of like you've got fire water electricity and then you've got like a wind magic and an earth magic physical what's physical no no that's not an element no it says physical here what are you looking up on that phone i i'm elementals no wait it says fire water nature earth air electric dark psychic fire

metal and eyes. You're looking at Pokemon types. Am I? Yes. Is that? No. And primal. No, that's not one.

Matt, can you fix her? Sonic and light, nature and primal. She's doing this on purpose. I'm just trying to understand your weight. Here's a list off the top of the dome. I've explained everything the year to know. Air, earth, metal, electricity, fire. Your entire outfit is made of belts.

Light, dark, water, ice, time, space. life, death, stasis, order, change, chaos, wood, steam. Listener, she never takes me seriously. Wood. She does this on air and off air. Demonic gravity. Blood. I didn't derail the airline story.

Blood is technically my correcting. I said, oh, tell me more about this part of it. I pulled up my phone and said, oh, well, someone else went on business class. Should we talk about that for 17 hours? Senguine? But I didn't do that. void I was kind

anyway I think my favorite is um Vigger Vigar they have that That's a stupid one

That's a stupid one Which one do you want Zelda I am partial To Uh Ice But I also hate

being cold. Oh, dear. You just want it in your drinks. But I don't think fire is, I think if you really played out fire in your day-to-day life, particularly in a bunker with, let's be honest, likely not great ventilation, could result in a lot of burnt plastic smell. Yeah. Wind is interesting to me.

But wind without weather. weird I am also trying to think what do they need in the bunker to have the best understanding of what was what do they need

in the bunker to have the best understanding of what was I think it would be primal primal or divine oh true no no light Can I say light?

You can say whatever you're like, it would seem. Unfortunately. Wait, you said light, though. You offered light. I picked light. Okay, so in Final Fantasy. Light. See, because different video game franchises will always have their like elemental magic.

that will have their own stupid naming conventions. Yes. Sometimes fabulous. Wood. Vigar. No. Like in Final Fantasy, the naming convention is like fire for the baseline week spell. Uh-huh.

And then like fire a ga. And then fire a ja with a jay as like the queen of it. And you get that like late game. Um, and that's true of like all the base elements. But then in the like mid game, you might unlock wholly. which is the like light magic. But there's no like next holy or like worse. Sometimes it would just jump from like holy to like like.

Okay, this is not in the game, but like hologa or whatever. Is the bread oligar? And then there's also no like dark like oh in fun of hands. It's not really dark magic. But then there's like ultima, which is like the strong. strongest spell in the game. Ultima? Yeah, but it doesn't have any elemental damage.

Like, it's just, like, non-elemental. Diva, what the fuck are you saying? What I'm saying is you can't do like, because that's not really, like, I know I said that, but, you said lie. I just am trying to ask questions here. Going back on. Okay, fine. It's dark.

Matt, what ones do you like? I don't know any of them. You said you did. I know some things I said Fine lightning Yeah that's cool You know what happens to a Give us the list again

Tell us the list again Light Same thing as everybody I was watching a video essay recently Where they said that that was the worst line ever written It's the best line ever written It's the best line ever written You're fucking idiots

People are stupid People are stupid They don't understand what's fun Yeah But not Hallie Barry No. Oh, God. No.

Okay, well, I really should have peep my audience. Catwoman? I think that the fire spells are always a bit boring. But fire spells are always very good against the undead and skeletons, coincidentally. Well, we don't want anyone damaging our beautiful normal Skellington. True. Stay away from your fire elemental. Thank you.

See, that's better. Um, I don't know. I think like wind... Oh, you've singed her nightdress. She's ruined. We only had one of her. Do you know how long it's going to take to darn this? Wait, maybe we should just do fire.

Who's deploying the fire? No, no, no. Like, no one has the element. What? No, like, not. How is it introduced into the bunker? In what way? Okay, so in the bunker.

when this is going badly oh yes oh yes I think if you had introduced this category with a little bit more confidence but you know you're all over the shop you're like light and dark and now and this you know to be fair I think you derailed it a little bit I tried to do research immediately to try and familiarize myself with what bigger is and then Matt when you were called into question you said Oh, no. At least I tried.

After previously agreed, and you absolutely know what I'm talking about. You'll just say yes, man. You're both being contraries. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. No, no.

Oh, look, let me, let's just bookmark this one. We'll come back on when I have a nerd on the show. Ether? Figg. What? What are these from? What is these? list you're looking at. I'm just Google all the words that Zelda said. Oh, everything you said.

Okay. Google this word. Stop. Okay. Also a spell in Final Fantasy. Is it? Yes. Metal magic. That's my final offer. Space, time, as in reclaiming mine. Sadly, I've already sucked it out of you. Wait, what? You shouldn't have to say that so many times of days. Sadly, I've already. Okay.

Okay. It's a good time to finish, I think. Yeah. We're going to listen up. Put a pause. Yeah. It's hieroglyphs all over again. It is.

It is. We're going to take this to celebrate the launch of season three. We'll do a listener special. And we're going to turn to the listener and do a social media post. You can vote for your favorite RPG element. And there is a unified understanding of what that is. And if you say a single word wrong, you will get yelled at. I wasn't yelling.

Then why? Why am I crying? okay listener we have to go this week we've put into the bunker a woman that woman soon to be named yeah and another woman norma she's got a name we didn't give it to her though no but she's got her own closet yeah and if you open it be ready for a bit of a spook yeah it's often labeled things like brooms or check-in gate

you've got me again Norma but thank you for listening is we love you do we see you in hell death to everyone was recorded

at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie If you have something to say to us send it to us at Dead ToEbram pod at gmail.com Edmond was supported please at patreon.com

such death to everyone Ah, Zulangio, is there.