Death To Everyone - Death To... Clams, Clocks & The Next Generation Parents

Episode Date: March 24, 2025

Heyo, its us! Your one and only celestial goddesses. This week we simply HAD to talk about clams and clocks... Arent they just so chic? We also decided to include a mother and a father to repopulate the next generation of the human race. We chose two delightful parents to be the next Adam and Eve of the post apocalyptic bunker life. Listen to find out who! Follow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'll show you. Hello T-Buzz. Hello out there, listener. It's so nice to hear your gorgeous tone again, listener. Did you have a nice weekend? Ooh, I bet you did. What did you do? Did you avoid brunch with that friend, or did you go to it?

Tell me. Did you go and pick wild mulberries down at the mulberry stream, and walk around with a small hishon basket? Oh. Careful not to run and frolic too much, you'll bruise the mulberries, and they won't make a good pie. Yes, fabulous. Mama will notice if you've been froliclic too much, you'll bruise the mulberries, they won't make a good pie. Mm.

Yes, fabulous. Mama will notice if you've been frolicing too much or dancing under wild heather. You know that she hates removing the grass stains from your knees. Your silly little petticoats, she can always tell when you've had too much fun. Mm. Ah, kiss the dragonfly's bath. Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. Okay, hello, I'm Lazy Susan.

And I'm Zelda Moon. And this is a show about the end of the world. It is. Thank God it's over. But at the end of times, who better than Lazy and myself to cast judgment across everything this planet has ever done. The output, KPIs. Yes, we've been tracking them and now we've got some things to say.

And thankfully, we're not completely cruel overlords. We actually love some of the things that we've seen and those things we'll put in our doomsday bunker to preserve. For example, the Virgin Mary Stingray. That made it into the bunker. Charlotte, she's safe. Unlike her experience in that awful aquarium where she died. Yeah, be more like Charlotte, listener,

then you might survive too. Yeah, just like the Meg, she also survived. She survived. In our bunker. 60 billion years. Or Fran Drescher. She also survived, now she reenacts the nanny every night down in our bunkret.

I'm sure she loves it. It's a shame her gay husband's dead. Oh yes, he died. Yeah. Now we don't do this alone, listener. We are of course aided and abetted every week by our incredible producer and space car driver, Mad Sheers. I keep the car running for you.

Is that the horn this week? Was that the sound of you tooting your little horn? No, we're doing the getaway driver. Getaway driver. Ah, get in. You say aids. Aids. And abetted.

And embedding. Um, yes. Yeah. You drive us away. I keep it running outside just in case. The baby driver. Yeah. Yeah.

I just had the good fortune of performing at Mary's Poppins. Yeah. Um, one of the most impossible bar names to say. Yes. What is it? Is it Mary? Poppins? One of the most impossible bar names to say. Yes. What is it? Is it Mary? Mary Poppins. Mary Poppins or Mary's Poppins or Mary Poppins? Like Mary's Poppins.

It's like she's popping off tonight, Mary. Yeah. Mama. That's so confusing. Can't you just call it like Slimehole or something? Right. Like gay bars used to have names. Yeah. Weird, you know, like. Mary's Popp Right. Like gay bars used to have names. Yeah.

Weird, you know, like Mary's Poppin. Mary. Who's Mary? Mary and why is she poppin? Anyway, I do have to have the good fortune to perform at Mary's Poppin, the premier gay bar in Adelaide because I was there over the weekend. And I had the amazing fortune to meet some of our listeners who are also the most gorgeous trans women

you've ever met in your life. Yes! As I was also working with Miss Evel, who is also a stunning woman when she wants to be. And they were all so intrigued, they were like, can I see a picture of Matt? Ah! Always wanted to know what Matt looks like.

I like that. Hopefully he showed him a good pic. Yeah, yeah. And they were like, oh! Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho! wanted to know what Matt looks like. I like that. Hopefully Chad McGoode pic. Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, Oh, there he is. Kiss the photo of Matt. Yeah. That photo was worn out like a young man bringing a photo of his hudsy todsy 1950s jamboree girlfriend onto the barracks, you know, and they all take turns with the photo.

It got passed around. Yeah. And it's all creased and covered. Give me that photo now. I've got to go to the bathroom. Yes. Something else is popping. Who wants the matte photo next?

Everyone look at the matte photo. And what's weird is when you, you told me this all fair, but when you got into the change room, they had other photos of matte art. And they're just there permanently. Why did you want photos of Matt? Yeah. He's got a collection going. Oh man. Man, indeed. Now the one thing about the Mary Poppins, see, I'm already like, what am I saying?

One thing about Slimehole is that they have the best dressing room ever at Slimehole. It's so nice. It's well lit. There's a little bathroom, which they have, like there's a toilet cubicle, cause it's a converted bathroom. That's been turned into like little makeup studio. It's got racks of clothes, the little toilet, and they're like, one rule of slime holes dressing room, no shitting.

Okay, that's great. Yeah. And then they have like signed photos of all the divas that have come through. So it's like a picture of like detox, you know, and all this sort of stuff. And it's very fabulous. And a picture of Alaska holding a koala out of drag. But the best thing is there's also signed pictures of Kane and Abel who works there full time and is just always there.

So this drag queen who is like the main diva of Slimehole. And she is just like signing pictures and all the other divas have to look at her every day and just like, I'm Kane, have an amazing life. Signed. Incredible. That's very funny. And the other thing I learnt was Evelval who is definitely amongst some of the most beautiful drag queens I think I've ever seen.

Truly. The finish, the finesse, everything is perfect. When she is in Adelaide where the standard is very high, particularly in that dressing room, the other diva is like, God, you look atrocious tonight. And you're wearing that stupid ugly wig again, you foul, disgusting, dank bitch. And it really has made me realize, like, you only get better if you get bullied. True. Like, she is getting, she's taking, she was, I've never seen, it was like a feeding frenzy. Like, they were like, and your shoe, it's only half stoned and Swarovski, you're disgusting. And it was amazing. And I was like, I can't

believe you're bullying the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. It's magnificent. That is good. Yeah. She can handle that. Well, they spared me and you could tell it was because of charity. They were like, Oh God, obviously she's had some sort of accident. Um, Eval is, has also of course been on this podcast and I'm sure shall be again someday.

Um, but Eve helps me maintain my incredibly out of date, uh, bunker contents list. So thank you Eval as always. Um, Patreon and discord members Discord members, my apologies. I'll update that really soon for you. And I guess as well while we're at it, we also want to owe an apology to the attention span of every single person who listened to last week's episode with Baby Slug. We got to issue a number of apologies for that episode. People said, it's like a fever dream. Did I take ayahuasca? No, you just had your first baby sled experience.

Yeah. I've had so many messages of people being like, you know, I had to like hit it in like half hour blocks. It took me four sessions to get through it. Or like, normally I listen to the podcast while I'm at work, but I just couldn't because I was so stressed out. Okay. Well, that's good.

Yeah. It's good to feel something. Absolutely. Sometimes you've got to change the temper. Yeah. And I just realized when we were saying this, um, we got sent another package. From a listener, but I have it at home. I forgot to bring it in. What is that?

Um, it is, I feel like it might be from the same person who sent you the eye mask package and stuff. Oh, yes. Because it had some bits like that, but we'll, we'll read the note next, next week. I'll bring it. But we received it. Thank you very, very much. Um, yes.

And their name is? I can't remember. Zala! I read it three days ago. I just, yeah. How could anyone be expected to remember something they read three days ago? Don't hold me to that standard because you'll be disappointed. Now what else is happening?

Oh, I really like, I'm like, oh, because we have rehearsal after this to do for our upcoming improv show. Despite the fact that none of us are improv comedians. Zelda and I and Brenda Breston, Delicatessen, are doing a kind of improv show, and like any good first improv show, we're charging people to come and watch it. And so we have that at 12. So we are in a bit of a zippy zip zip.

So I'm gonna try and really reel off what I'm trying to say. OK. Went Adelaide Fringe. Fabulous. Marvelous. So excited. Yeah. That's zippy zip. Got to spend time with all the divas. Got to see Reese Nicholson, which was amazing, because like, I went on their podcast, which is fun. But I feel like I'm like, I just love having a chin wag with that one.

Hopefully I can get them on the pod sometime. And then three gay voices all at once, three lisps. Always had a pit of asps. Anyway, and then rewired a lamp, exploded the lamp, had some chit chats with friends, found out one of my friends is having an affair with a man in a relationship, which is so chic and fabulous. I can't wait for more information about that. Found out my boyfriend had watched Severance the last few episodes without me and had a real grump spell.

I was like, I'm actually, actually we're not watching it. You've seen it. We're not watching it. Yeah. Wow. So that was our last night. Yeah. And that's basically what's been happening with me. What about you, Zelda Moo? Well, that all sounds so fun. I had a two to three year situation ship fall apart this week and I spent most of it home from work in tears in a mess. That's fabulous. So we've both just had really great times, I guess. I'm glad that you're bringing it up on the pod though.

That's so chic. Yeah, why not? Yeah. No, it needed to come to an end. We were just like, uh, not on the same page in many ways. Not on the same library, darling. Yeah. Um, but you know what? That's fine. We all grow from these things. Don't we?

Do we? Um, I will. Yeah. Don't know that he won. Yeah. This is the good thing about having your own podcast is you get to, you know. It's so good. And I mean, he's so self-involved that he's never listened to this despite it existing for the entire duration of our, um, situationship.

So there's no threat that he's going to hear this. And if he did, go off. Oh, good narcissism is fun. You have your own podcast in your head talking about how great you are all the time. Yeah. Um, You should be a prerequisite for dating one of you two. Listen, I think it's, I mean, I think that absolutely not.

Cause sometimes my boyfriend comes up to me and is like, so you talked about this on the part, or I didn't know that this happened to you. Yeah. Why am I just finding out about it? Like that happened 13 years ago, but, um, it's funny. I had a family dinner last night for my nephew's birthday. And my dad was like, how can I listen to the podcast? I'm like, well, I mean, we post links to it every week.

Like, and I know that you listen to Spotify, that's where you listen to your music. So you know, the Spotify links that I post every Tuesday, it's that one. Anyway. Oh, now I say that and now it's going to start listening. Love you dad. I don't think your dad should listen. Joe, don't listen to this. But I, so I sent it to him and I was like, well, you're about to learn a whole lot about

my sex life dad. And he was like, ha ha ha. And I was like, it's fine. Lazy's dad listens and he can still look me in the eye. Oh no, he can't. He just doesn't know that it's you. He's like, oh, you're that woman from the radio. He hasn't got his glasses on.

Yeah. I've been listening to a celestial goddess for two years, not this. Not this. But anyway, so yeah, I had a rollercoaster of a week, but... Well now, when you're crying at home alone, what are you doing? Like, are you washing dishes or are you just sitting? When... So this will happen on like Monday night. And when he left, I like just like stood in the hallway and like sobbed.

And like, I kind of walked to the bathroom where my towel was hanging conveniently at head height and just like sobbed into that towel for a while. You didn't pick it up and dab your tears. You actually just walked into the wall. Yeah. Just patted with the towel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just like immersed my face in the towel and just sobbed.

And then, I don't know, I kind of just like walked into the kitchen and then was like, oh no, I'm still crying. And then walked back into the towel room. Was the floor getting slippery? Yes, it was quite a hazard. Do you know when people are like, we fucked in every room of that house. Yeah. Now you're like, I sobbed in every room of this house.

Well, I had to go to all the places that we'd fucked and be like, oh, remember, oh, never again. Because I can't make you love me if you don't. But God, I resent that he wanted, like he wanted to do it face to face, which is fine. But like, he wanted to come to my house. And I'm like, I don't want to have had a fucking breakup in this house. Yeah. Couldn't we have gone for like a walk to somewhere that I never walked to or something?

Yeah, totally. And I nearly suggested that, but it was like, okay, well. Let's go to this dark alley. When has he ever been considerate of my feelings? You know? So why would it happen in this moment? But anyway, Well, I'm glad.

So that's done. Yeah. I mean, that's better off. Yeah. There you go, Matt. Thank you. Thank you. No, it's true.

It is true. But can you tell that one little bit about the clippings? Clippings. The like plant clippings? Oh, no. Please. Oh, no. Please. Oh my God. Otherwise cut this out.

Okay. No, I'll tell. Oh, it's so sad. It's the most beautiful, kind, but like sad thing. So, okay. I feel like this is also someone that I've never really spoken about on the podcast before. So listener, if you're like, oh, I wonder if it's the guy that like filled her with come at that thing or not.

It's not, um, because I don't actually talk about all of my things on this. Yeah. You're only getting 10%. Yeah. So imagine what the real world's like. Imagine how much cum she's filled with. But, um, so yeah, I've known this person for like two and a half, nearly three years, whatever. And maybe like a half a year, year ago, there was a time where he was over and we're talking

about like my houseplants and his houseplants and stuff. And he's like, if you ever like are propagating anything, like I'd love some like little bits or whatever. I'm like, oh yeah, cute, sure. So I'm always, you know, like taking cuttings and doing whatever. Yeah, cute job. Some always, you know, like taking cuttings and doing whatever. And so like at the end of this like breakup conversation,

which like it wasn't a breakup, we weren't dating, but I mean it was anyway. Yeah, it's the emotional intensity of that. It's just like without being able to be like, it was the end of a relationship. Yeah, but it was. It was. We're like, I'd really held it together.

Like we hadn't cried. We just like, we're talking about our different perspectives and feelings and all that stuff and then like comes to the end and he's like, Oh, my brand are going to leave like, and like we have like the final hug and I like start just like balling just cause it's intense. You know, like, justify balling when you're ending your relationship, good or bad. Yes. Um, and I don't know why this came into my head,

probably because we're on the veranda and I was like looking in between the water at my plants and we pull out of the hug and I'm like, I, I, if you would like, I've made a cutting of a begonia. Would you like, I made it for you six months ago. Would you like to take her with you now?" And he was like, what? And I was like, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that, but I have a begonia for you if you'd like. And he's like, do you want me to take it? I was like, I don't know. He's like, I you want me to take it? I was like, I don't know.

He's like, I'm going to go now. Bye forever. He didn't take it. No. For the best. Yeah. But that is very like leaving the animals on animal crossing. When you leave the island for good.

That is so sweet though. Good God help me. Anyway, so that happened this week, but on my talk to points, I can't remember if I've actually said this before, but you know, on like dating apps, how people will sometimes have like a screenshot of their like kink, like test results. And it's this hideous like black background and like the text is like green to red. Like what is that? And why is it so ugly?

And why am I looking at it? Who was like ever like clicked in to like actually read the results of someone else's thing on their profile? Just put the key information in the profile text or something. Yeah, I think there's a lot of front loading of like, because like the girl, the gal, good friend of mine, and this is like the fabulous thing about her affair, which I can talk about because how would you ever trace this? But, um, she got frontloaded with that guy's kink information. Um, and like, she was like, I got the whole.

Like list of everything before, I think this is actually before they went on, like, uh, this is, I think maybe a different guy to her affair, but the whole date and got all of this kink diatribe. And I think on one hand, I appreciate how the kink community is trying to be responsible about active consent and full transparency as to what to expect. But to me, it's like, I think you start by saying, Hey, I'm into BDSM. Like just say BDSM. start by saying, Hey, I'm into BDSM, like just say BDSM.

And then if the person and you have chemistry and hit it off at a later point, you can say, okay, I'm into choking, spitting, not into flogging, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and go through the whole thing. And I'm like a dumb and blah, blah, blah. But it's like, I don't think you need to do it as the very first thing because they just, I'm like, we're getting caught in the T's and C's too soon. Yeah. It's like before even looking at the, um, I don't know, the iPad model, you have to

read through the T and C first. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I just, I'm like, I need to follow the iPad first and then I can worry about the fact that blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Does it have blah blah. Yeah. Does it have a touch screen? Yeah.

Also, I just think, I mean, like, call me an old fashioned, but I just like, there's something about finding out that you have sexual chemistry with someone that's exciting because of some of the mysteries and unknowns about their sexual preferences and what's to come. When you put your tongue in their ear and they go, huh? And you're like, oh, now I know that you like that. Or they're kind of scared. Yeah exactly. Or they're like did you just put your fucking tongue in my ear can you not do that? Yeah like that. Yeah. Like the Yerkins I mean the yurks from animals. Oh, yeah. Very funny. Oh my God. Can I say listener on, oh my God, actually this is like, okay, this threatens to derail our timings here, but. Well, fine.

I, okay. So on the recent episode of drag race season 17, which I did watch, they had the historic question, who do you think should go home tonight? And they did like the most extreme version of just say the easiest thing, which is someone who's already in the lead. So blah, blah, blah. And the Internet lost its collective mind being like, I'm so sick of this. And like Evie oddly chimed in, being like, if you don't say the real person, then you're a fucking cow, blah, blah, blah,

or whatever. And I decided that like, cause that's what I did on my season. I said, Vibe, do you think Vibe should go home? Absolutely not. But I also was like, who cares? Like if I can get away with this, da, da, da. But I decided on a very stupid idea to say something on Twitter.

And so underneath the thing, I was like, but don't you understand, Diva? You have to say that in front of that person and then you have to go and talk to them straight after. I could just never. It's too socially awkward. And then like, I don't mean, if you can say it behind their back, you can say it to their face. I'm like, yeah, but it's more work. Do you want to understand how social awkwardness works? And they're like, and also like it makes the show boring. And like the show should be more interesting if they say the dramatic thing to their face. And I'm like, I guess I understand what you're saying, but like, it just, you know, you don't understand. Like it's awkward.

It's like not fun. And what if you're just a bit tired and you don't want to do that? And they're like, shut up, and they're like, and I'm like also on the theme of like, it makes for better television to have people just be like rude to the person's face. Like Animorphs season one was great television

and like Cassie never told the other Animorphs to go home. So, da, da, da, da. And then this person, like something in their brain, like, collabs. And they were like, is this some kind of fucking millennial joke? Do you think you're being funny right now? Well, actually I'm not laughing, this is not funny. And I was like, of course it's not funny. The yokes

have come down to earth to put slug-like creatures in people's ears and take over the planet. And then they posted a meme of, um, you know, what, whoever the fuck, like exiting a room looking awkward. And this person like, yeah, like that vibe was just like the weirdest energy to come across. Cause obviously people on Twitter are having these conversations every day where they bring that level of heat of being like, you're actually not funny. You fucking millennial cunt piece of shit. Like just repeating some like big weird jokes that they've heard elsewhere or like weird observation

about culture. Um, and then being really infuriated. But like on that subject, York, like these people are insane. Like that energy is insane. But also the people that are like, it's actually really good television for people to just say mean things in front of people. I'm like, well, it's kind of lazy writing in television because instead of bringing about an organic conflict between contestants, you're just saying, tell us who you hate right in front of them now.

For no reason. There's no, like, you're not being forced into this situation. And it's not going to influence the results. It doesn't influence the results. There is no benefit to doing it correctly. So as a contestant, all you're doing is alienating your fellow contestants, which I think is a bad move because these are people you know you have to work with. You potentially ruin someone's life.

And I think like the benefit to the drama, like drama is really good when it's kind of unavoidable. When you're forced to throw someone under the bus because it has a potential cost to use, you're putting your own survival above theirs. In this case, that's not the case, it's just about offering an opinion to the judges that has no bearing on anything. In that way, like the Raider Queen is a much better example of using your contestants to turn each other against each other because it has a genuine outcome and cost for them. Whereas this doesn't make the show more dramatic,

it just makes it meaner, but for no reason. And to be like, Evie, it'd be like, it's actually really virtuous to just offer this opinion, like, because you should be a cunt for no reason, is like weird, because like, you know how much it costs to go on the show. So while in that moment, it might feel good to be like sassy and dramatic, like in, like on my season, it's like, I know how much like Vibe, Freya, Mandy, and Nikita had spent. And for me to turn to someone at their potentially like lowest moment, if they're not doing well in the competition and say, I think this person should go home while

looking at all the effort they've put in and that they're so close to the end. And it doesn't going to benefit me to put them down or ruin them. And like, you know, a show that has cost them a phenomenal amount of money, time and patience that they've been trying to get on for years, just because it quote unquote makes better television. I just don't think that it's worth it. I think it's like a cruel thing to do. Even though you're like doing a good thing for the judges.

And it's like a bit like, well, you're kind of turning on your comrades, you know, like that's weird thing to do, like a bit bootlicky in front of like, I'm going to tell the judges that because they asked me a question and I'll answer it and I'll do anything for their approval. And it's like, yeah, who are you more concerned with that you're going through the experience with and have a relationship with or a panel of judges. Yeah, who will make up their mind regardless.

So I'm like, I think that it's just a bit of a shitty thing to do, to be honest. And particularly if you can get away with it. Once the show figures out how to make sure the girls can't get away with it, that's fine. Then they can do that to us. They can put it through that. That's like the purview of being on a reality TV show. But like if a game requires you not to throw people under the bus and you can get away with it, then get away with it, you stupid bitch. Like why would you potentially do that to someone?

And so if Twitter user LizzyPig743 was listening to this right now, what would you say to her? I'd say, LizzyPig, that was a millennial joke. Animos is a real good show. Give it a try. And it's all on YouTube. That's the Yerkes talking. The Yerkes.

And at no point did they have to do that. And it's still incredible. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. There's only us. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere, exactly. There's only us. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, nowhere to run. Yeah. That show is about being trans.

Are you enjoying White Lotus? I am. Me too. I'm loving it. And you know what's really funny? Well, not funny. This is going to sound like, well, every year I get a message from my auntie on the anniversary of my mother's birthday. I guess you just call it a birthday, not the anniversary. But she's dead now, so it does

feel like that. But we always like exchange like what Christine would have thought about culture this year. And I was like, well, she would have thought I loved White Lotus season one, but it's just getting silly now. And my Auntie Dee was like, yes, and I'd agree with her. And I'm like, I think this show is becoming more and more like niche and specific to only my interests. Like, I'm just like, I love this. Cause even my brother sent me a meme this week of the conversation between like. Walter Goggins and Sam Rockwell.

Yeah. They're like the guy who was the trans girl in Sons of Anarchy. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and that conversation, right. Which is so like, I understand that. Yeah. Inside out.

Like got it. Yeah. Like that's so funny so like, I understand that. Yeah. Inside out. Like got it. Yeah. Like that's so funny that it's in that show. Yeah. Wait, is that relatable to you? I think that's really, I mean. Like, in a way. I'm just curious.

Well, also like the extremity of it. Yeah. It's like, yeah, whatever. Like, yeah, that sounds like what might happen on like a Tuesday night for a regular gay person. Yeah. Um, but for my brother to see it and not be freaked out by it and like get in on the joke of it or whatever, and like find a meme and then send it to me. I was like, this is breaking down boundaries.

Yeah. Like in a weird, genuine way where he wasn't freaked out by it. Like he didn't send me a photo of Patrick Schwarzenegger kissing that twink. That might be a step too far. But yeah, it's so interesting. It is, it is. That it's shaped in this way where, yeah, a broader audience can handle the gayness coming through and not be freaked out or alienated by it. Yeah. Because like my brother would never watch Queer as Folk or Looking or one of those like- Who would watch Looking?

Well, right. Ah! Or like one of those shows, like queer shows, but if there's just like 10% in a more palatable show to them. Yeah. But secretly it's like 90%. Like everything on there is just so gay. Yeah. Um, so interesting. Yeah, really good. Really. What do you think about the posts on social media? That's like, I know that everyone's really excited about Pucka Posey right now, but I was excited about her in the nineties.

I just think- So like, for you people that are just joining the party, welcome, but maybe you should watch blah blah blah first. Get, um, no, I, I think we are in the like worst, worst, worst period of media dissection and discussion in human history, because even at the start of like Twitter, when there was like film criticism Twitter, it still felt a bit like exciting to have suddenly all these like points of view and intersectional ideas around media. And now like on X, which is now owned by a neo-Nazi, you go on there and you're like, oh, it's all the dumpster fire people that haven't left yet. And then on TikTok, some of the hot takes from like kind of the media

illiterate world is just like, did you notice the show white lotus takes place at a hotel that's called the White Lotus and every season is set in a different White Lotus? And you're like, yeah. And you're like, okay, great. And so it's like, I just don't think we need, like, and I, like, I'm just so happy to like, just watch things and like talk to people I want to talk to about it. Yes.

But that place for like quality online discourse, where do you go for that now? Why our discord server of course, which you can gain access to by supporting us on Patreon. But yeah, like, yeah, yeah. Unless you can find like the right tone and perspective, like meme account. It's hard to find. It's hard to find. Yeah.

No, I do. Yeah. I like some, like I occasionally will get trapped in like a, the honeypot of like, Oh, I went and saw the new Snow White and I'm like, Oh yeah, I want to care. And then like five seconds in, I'm like, Oh God, I actually don't care. Why am I listening to this? Like, this is so annoying. Totally.

Do you, what's your, um, pulse check on Patrick Schwarzenegger? Um, I mean, brilliant casting. He's like perfect. He's perfect. I mean, like, I think that that's the thing Mike White does is he deploys actors in such a fabulous way where it's like playing into their type beautifully, like it just puts them in like, or against their kind of existing reputation.

Like the, yeah. Yeah. And what do you think about that evil witch who slept with that Russian? The evil witch who slept with, oh, I hate her Nikita. She looks exactly like our friend Nikita. Um, she, um, yeah, once again, like a perfect, like Michelle Monahan is such a like perfect girl to play like an actress on Misk TV show, cause that's kind of the role she's been playing for the last 10 years.

Um, but yeah, what a terrifying energy. Also, I would absolutely loathe being at the club with those men. Oh my God. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, oh, how mean. Uh, Oh yeah. Yeah.

Yes. Uh, I feel sad for all dumpy friend. Dumpy friend. Leave her alone. Uh, I feel sad for Republican friend who just wanted the party to end, so she go to bed. It's so funny. I was like, her just being like, yeah, let's. That whole episode gave me full on anxiety though, because they went back to the villa

in the show, The White Lotus, to have like fabulous, drunken pool party. But they were having like wine glasses in the pool area. So dangerous. I was like, and that, you tell me that that's not a scene where they break the wine glass. Like, everyone out of the pool. Get out. There's glass in the pool.

We actually need to empty the pool and get rid of the glass because we can't see it in the water. Yeah. Are they plastic? Like, I just. Absolutely not. Because I'm like, and the music is getting more chaotic and you see them holding the wine glass. It's like, is it, are they plastic? Like I just, absolutely. Cause I'm like, and like the music's getting more chaotic and you see them like holding the wine glass and I'm like,

or like, they're going to break that. I just kept thinking about like one of them is going to slip and then like chip a tooth on the edge of the pool. Yeah, no, that's terrible. I mean like they just should have rules. I don't care how rich you are. You need to have plastic, like plastic, like vessels around the pool. Yes. Yeah. Oh, uh-uh.

No. Um, oh, what fun. Yeah. It's quite fun. Yeah. I can't wait for the next. And what do you think of old Gappy? Love Gappy.

That's so good. She's amazing. She's actually, oh. Also, it's really hard to play innocent and sweet without being cloying and gross. Yes, she kind of, you know how your analysis of that painful character on Firefly, the like crazy girl?

Oh yeah, River. Yeah, it's kind of like a little bit like that. She's so like, oh, like she's not a complete airhead, but there's like elements of that, but it's done the right way. Yeah, we believe. Rather than being like, oh, she's kooky and whatever. Yeah, no, it's valuable. And also just like someone at the White Lotus who represents us, the unscrubbed viewer,

being like, oh, sorry, welcome White Lotus. Can I get some more wine in my bucket? Oh, I love it. Do you think that Patrick and brother are gonna fuck? The show would get canceled, but like the plot line is like very funny. So funny. I'm like, okay, go on. Yeah.

Also, I'm just like, sometimes, sometimes like what shocks the general public really, like I'm like, I don't have a sense of this. Like, cause they're like, Oh, right. They're just like, oh my God, the incestuous kiss, I'm never watching this show again. You're like, I'm sorry, but like, aren't you the same person who like is on your profile

talking about how you voted for Trump, the man who said he'd grab women by their pussy and it's convicted rapists. Like I'm just like, I'm like, what's the line to actors playing incest on telly. But also it's like, you are so disconnected from a queer experience, not that incest is. But like, wait, let's say it first off air and then, no, but like, so not in an incestuous way, but like the, that relationship is like how I think about like, like that's my fantasy of like my best friend's like older brother.

Yeah. Like not my older brother, good God, but like a similar age gap. And like when I was that kid's age, that is my fantasy with this other guy who was like, not in the family, but like, it was very close to him because he's my best friend's older brother and stuff. So I'm like, that is so well executed in this show. Cause I remember nights where like we would be like at a house party and he would be there and I'd be like, Oh my God, if only like, could you imagine? Yeah.

And like, this is the version of that. Like I can imagine here it is. You do a few magic tricks on a yacht and suddenly you're making out with your brother. Right. But like, that's not foreign or crazy. It's like, yeah, this little kid is like, like, has no one, like, in his world, how could he express himself in any way?

Like the whole reason they're there is a lie because his sister couldn't express herself in a certain way, all that shit. So it's like, yeah, him being like a little closet case and then taking an opportunity or whatever. It's like, that's not weird. Well, yeah. I mean, the theme of that episode of just being like, you want to fuck yourself kind of thing. And like, that's what the Sam Rockwell thing, or that's why I took away from

that. It's just like, I want to, like, I'm so obsessed with myself in that weird way that I want to be fucked by me and watch myself be fucked by me and experience like that subjugation or whatever. And then the Patrick Schwarzenegger has this absolute disdain for every woman that he's pursuing that he wants to victimize. And then it's like the little brother wants to be him and wants to become him. And so it wants to like, yeah.

So it's like, there's that weird thing of like the slipping of your own identity in order to become something else. Like, I don't know. But like to me that was like, that's beautiful and interesting and kind of like, I think mainstream television has like been satisfied and titillated by like, there was a married woman

and she had an affair with someone that wasn't her husband. And like that's kind of like, well, in real, in the real world, in my experience, like the, the, the sexual underbelly of people's day to day lives is infinitely more complicated and sticky and weird than just you went outside the bounds of your legally binding marital contract. Totally. than just you went outside the bounds of your legally binding marital contract. It's like weird shit. Like I wanted to dress up in this way.

Cause like, you know, yeah, like when I've slept with married men or whatever, like there is like all of this stuff around, like, I want to wear those panties and I want to feel the feeling of like tights against my skin. And it's like, it doesn't shock me when people have really niche, super specific fetishes and like things that get them going because sex is not just like dick in whole. It is about the, like the, the psychological landscape of it. And so I think that's the thing about the show that's like really hitting a nerve is like he's not really batting an eyelid to say like, yeah, there you go. Like incest, there you go.

Like yeah, gender exploration, like things. And particularly for like straight men, it's so confronting because it's like, darling, this is what you've been Googling in your spare time. And suddenly it feels like someone's pointing a finger at you and airing your dirty laundry And I loved when he freed all those snakes Let them be free Okay. Well, should we yes get to the apocalypse. Yes. So my apocalypse this week You know what? It came to me yesterday. Yeah. It is short and sweet list now.

Go on. But can I tell you, a Pokeball has been thrown to planet Earth. Planet Earth is gone. It's inside a Pokeball now. That's it. Bye bye. To love, to love, to love, to love, to love, to love, to love, to love, to love, to love, Welcome back listener.

Hello listener. It's time for our very first category this week, which is... Oh my God. Can you believe it's finally time for us to discuss which clam... Okay. Which clam? Do you know what? I was listening to this interesting thing about germ theory, because for a long time... Oh, my God. Let me just get this right in my head. Oh, dear.

Like, there was this... Like like once they discovered germ theory, which is a relatively recent theory. Like when they invented soap. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Because before like you know like a recent... The most important medical discovery of our time. Soap still has evaded some though ain't it? Oh Zelda clean them alright. No, but for a long time, people would go in for surgery and not know that you needed to wash your hands. So people would just get really easily avoidable infections as a result of just not sterilizing medical equipment, that sort of thing.

So that was a massive revolution. But then there was this other thing called my asthma, which is like people used to think people would get sick because the air in a room had gone bad. Yeah. Like air could go off. Yeah. Essentially. Yeah. And so when they got rid of this theory of my asthma, which was found to be untrue, the air couldn't go bad. Well, I played Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles and the me out my asthma in that game was quite real. They were protected by the crystals. Go on.

Wow, you've been to Sarsaparaz? So then when that theory went out the window, so too did the idea that germs could go into the air. Like so people for a long time thought, oh, like there's no way to catch germs through the air as tiny little particulates, which of course, as we know from COVID-19 is in fact how you catch it. Um, just as in, if you spend enough time in a room with another person who's infected, it'll just get into the particles in the air and you'll eventually breathe it in.

But part of the way that this was initially discovered was clams, because clams are just giant filter feeders and they just take through and process an immense amount of seawater in their day-to-day lives. And they found that if there was contaminants in the water, eventually it would be inside of the clam because it would just go through the clam and end up in its tissues. Yeah. So following that theory through human beings are not unlike clams in that they just filter an immense amount of air every day and put out CO2. And so eventually they're going to catch whatever's just in the air. Yeah. And that is my story about clams.

Well, if you're trying to twist my clam subject into what person goes into the bunker, nice try, cause I'm going to bring it back to the clams. Clams. Um, that's so interesting. Yup. But what do you think about like, Zelda, the Pokemon that kind of looks like a clam? Wait, you say that again? Zelda.

Zelda. Zelda. Zelda. Wasn't there another one? Cloyster. Cloyster. And love her. Cloyster is quite good.

She's spiky. So spiky. What's inside? A black hole. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I like, you know, growing up, I did like those Pokemon. They're good.

Um, you've had aquariums in your life? I never had clams. You never had one of the... Also listener, can you just shut up? Because I don't care about if it's a muscle or a clam. You know that we're all talking about clams. Clams. It's the same thing.

Oysters? They clams? Sure. Like, come on. What do you think about eating oysters? You don't like it. I don't do that. What about the, like, when they're like, it's just like a plant. No, it's not like screaming. I'm like, it's meat. That

is yeah. You want them and then eat them. They don't have a nervous. They don't have nervous system. Yeah. They don't have a central nervous system. Well, let me tell you, I'm nervous enough for all the clams. I am responsible clam. Clams? Um, absolutely not. Like I've never, I don't think there was this time where like growing up, listener, my best friend's, uh, father was a butcher and they were like a family of butchers and he became a butcher.

Um, and there was this one day before I became vegetarian where I was at his house and we had like lobster and all this seafood. Cause like, I don't know, my family just didn't eat a lot of seafood, but I did at his house on this one occasion. And it was like the only time I've ever had those things. Cause I soon after became vegetarian.

So it's the only time I've ever had those things because I soon after became vegetarian. Oh. So it's the only time I've ever had lobster. Oh. And I had, yeah, mussels or oysters that day, but like that's it. So you just don't have any experience with them? No, I understand you just swallow it. Yeah. To which I say, I don't understand that. It's an aphrodisiac.

You dyke. You dyke. It's an aphrodisiac. You dyke. You dyke. It's an aphrodisiac. You dyke. Yes, that's what I said. And I stand by it. Absolutely. Tony's everything in that conversation. But I do have this vivid memory.

Oh, of like, say it, share it, do it. My mother. You're joking. Oh, of like... Say it, share it, do it. My mother, ever since she left my father, Oh my God. has been in like lesbian relationships. Dyke. Yeah. Sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, sorry, listen to that.

Which like, that's all, whatever. But there was this one day, she had this like one girlfriend for a year or two that I just really didn't like, vibe with. And there is this moment where we went to Safeway or whatever. We came out and she'd bought this like tub, kind of like I would buy a tub of sundried tomatoes. She bought a tub of like muscles or oysters, like in a brine.

Oh, like not in a, not in a clam shell, but in like, Oh, they're just floating around. Yeah. Like they've been shut. Sure. And we like got to the car and we're loading in the shopping, the three of us. And she was like, oh, I just can't even wait. And like opened up the little Tupperware container and then was like

guzzling down these muscles and like the greasy brine was like on her lips and like going down her chin and like that oily like residue and she's like just like yeah not chewing them but just like swallowing mouthful after mouthful of this like yeah like clam meat And sucking. Yeah, like clam meat. God, it was so disgusting. Did Roald Dahl write your childhood memories? Like, what do you mean?

So, God in the White. Oh, I can't even wait for it. Clam meat. Mrs. Trunchbottom. Exactly. Yuck! Oh, I'll never forget. And she's staying like Clam. I guess.

Clam meat is a great night, like great night name. That is. Mary's poppin'. Take notes. You should be called Clam meat. Can I just, I need to tell you this all fair, but I've come up with what I think will be the name for my like next thing. Next like club nine.

Oh, I really want to do another club nine. Like I want to do Genki again, but like, I left like, yeah, I've got another name. I have to run it by. I can't say it on there. Clammy. Someone will steal it. Someone's going to take that immediately. Okay.

Well, the other thing is, one of the, I used to listen to audio books. I'm an audio book kid. You know, like how people go to sleep with fans on, my husband's like that. But my household, we were like audio books on tape and go to sleep every night to a book on tape. And my grandmother Martha sent me a tape from New England from probably like the local gift shop at Cape Cod, which was one of my favorite books on tape

called Newberry the Clam. like the local gift shop at Cape Cod, which was one of my favorite books on tape called Newberry the Clam. And the whole story followed Newberry the Clam. And it was a story about his life as a clam. And all my recollections of it is that they didn't necessarily, it wasn't like Newberry had a little house and he walked to other, you know, clam's houses and they talked about things like you would expect from a kid's book. It was more just like Newberry was caught in a current and went over here and then Newberry filled the third and Newberry, you know, it was just... I love that.

It was not like, yeah, there was no like, it was just about Newberry's life as a clam. That's good. Very realism. Yeah. And I was like, Martha, what fabulous choices. That's great. I like that. Back to my aquarium moment.

Oh yes. Yeah. Listen, shut up. I know you're... Yeah. Just to clarify. But like the freshwater mussels that you get, well that I've had for aquariums, so fun, you just like drop it in and then it just like finds its footing and then it like just

like slowly goes around and you can see it filtering through and it's got like this big muscle that comes out to like slug it along the, through the substrate. It's so, have you not seen these? No, I've only seen snails. So cool. It's like, like probably like that big. They can't see you. Oh, I know I'm showing you.

Oh, she's holding up the size of approximately a muffin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Muffin size. Is that the one that's got like the big like dong that comes out? Sorry, man.

Wow. I think that's the first time that comes out. Sorry, Matt. Wow. I think that's the first time you've used something apart from Willie to describe a dong like shape. Yeah. Is that the one with the big dong? A big ass cock. I just feel like I've seen those ones on social media and it's like some person holding it and they're like, Ooh, what is this?

Oh, like those tiny Asian women holding up those giant muscles. Most people don't call porn websites social media. I'm saying it. Matt is an active. I've never, I don't remember. But the other iconic clam that I love is in the water temple in Ocarina of Time, there's these spiky clams that you can hit with your hook shot.

But then they also like shut clothes on you and like spring around. That's good. Yeah. I do like that. I mean, I think we're obviously missing the best type of clam. Oh, here we go. Oh, I have one more.

You go. What should I say? Well, you go. Okay. Um, just that like, I don't know how I saw this this week, but like, there's like a vintage pin cushion design that is like a clam shell. Cause I think back in the day, they used to make lots of stuff out of clams and like shells and whatever. So like, it's really quite sweet. Yeah. That is the sad thing. They put like the cushion inside the shell.

In the clam shell. That's so cool. I'm like, I want one. Close? No, cause it's full of the, the clam shell. That's so cool. I'm like, I want one. No, cause it's full of the, the pink cushion. But like when, when you take all the pins out, can you close it? No, cause it's. Oh, I fucking hate that. Is it, is it, is it some sort of purse? That's like a clam purse. Yeah.

The ashtrays definitely ashtray. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That kind of, it's quite a Hollywood kind of the giant clam, the ashtrays definitely ashtrays. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that kind of it's quite a Hollywood kind of I only know the giant clam The giant clam? What's the giant clam? It's the one that's got the wavy sort of edges

Oh, it's a real thing Yeah, it's massive. It's like bigger than a football So cool They're huge I hate it when they call something giant you see it and you're, Oh, that is bigger than a football, but would I call it giant? But compared to other clans, going through the ocean and see that it's a giant. So cool.

I also think that like pearl farming and stuff is so interesting. Like I've watched so many like little docos on that and how they like, isn't it really bad for them? Pearl and stuff. Yes, like all fucking exploitation of animals. animal abuse. Yeah. Cause what is it?

What is it? They put a piece of dirt sand in there or something. Yeah. But in the farms, they, yeah, like they obviously can't wait for it to happen naturally. So they force it to happen at the start and then it builds up and whatever. I don't know exactly what I'm a clam farmer.

Um, but so cool. It sounds like you are. Well, I wish. So what's the best type of clam? Yeah. Oh, I just think like if you've ever gone to Lake's entrance and then go onto some sort of like the fabulous, um, shell store, you can find all these fabulous little figurines made out of like little clams. Do they have googly eyes in them?

They of course have googly eyes. Oh, then that's it. Yeah. I think this is the thing. It's like, because the, I think folk art is maybe in decline because of like the globalization, the internet has taken folk art out. When's the last time that you saw someone on Sydney Road, Brunswick Street, Smith Street, with like a fork that's been turned into like an arm bracelet? Yeah. It's been a long time. I mean, I guess the thing that's taken that place is like hideous acrylic earrings.

Yes, that are like cut out to look like, I don't know, a clam or something ironic. Yeah. And then like we're going to find in 10 years time, our op shops littered with those. Like we used to find clam. Resin art. Yeah, resin art. The issue is that shells and googly eyes, they tend to break down. Whereas, oh God, I hate seeing a dusty like shell figurine in someone's house. Just like, I don't think dust, you're meant to beine in someone's house.

Just like, I don't think dust, you're meant to be free in the ocean shell. Oh yes. Like you're being stopped from turning into sand because you're in Mildred's shelf collecting dust, you know? Next to a tiny little like, bi-fold framed image of her children and her ex-husband who's now dead,

but they still liked each other up until he died, you know. And the photo's still there because the kids like to see it. Yeah. Oh, god. Anyway, yeah, but I love those little figurines. Yeah, I think like a little deceased clam that's been like refined. And what about this? It has like that gilded metal edge now.

Have you seen that? Yes, yes. Like that? So it can still like function open closed, but also has googly eyes on top. Well, that's it. You've got to be able to open closed. I have a little hinge on it. Yeah. I think we need a revolution for googly eyes. I'm ready for a new iteration on that technology. Have I talked about how much I hate the ones that have like printed on like fucking eye shadow and lashes. Yes. Yeah.

I'll add that if I need it. Thank you. Yeah. I just say that cartooning there. I think everything everywhere all at once kind of like took the eyes from the culture. And now we can't have them back. No. What if they were more realistic? Like, yeah, that's what I think we need.

I think we need ultra realism. Hmm. Like the little glass taxidermy eyes, but they wobble around. Exactly. Well, but they wobble around. Exactly. Well, maybe they move themselves. They like look quickly over at you. That's good. Look away.

Okay. That's it. Clam shell figurine from Lake's entrance. Perfect. Googly eyes. Congratulations. Googly eyes in the shape of some sort of farmer. Goodbye.

Bye. Welcome back everyone. Hello. Hello. Okay. Now we have really, we have really done it this time, haven't we? Our next topic for discussion is which clock goes into the bunker? Which clock? You're crazy.

Okay. So we'll say on three, two, one. Cuckoo clock. Cuckoo clock. Oh, you were about to say that? Amazing. Lock it in. That's it. Congratulations. We'll be right back. Welcome back, listeners. Hello, listeners. Now for our third and final discussion today. This is a bit of a heart take in the bunker. We're now starting to think, who do we want to repopulate Earth? And so we need to figure out who our Adam and Eve are, so whose DNA we want to go together. We need to somehow manage this without kind of stepping deeply into eugenics.

But we are of course dealing with who do we think should be the first couple to have a child in the post-apocalypse? Yes. So I think what we'll do is you pick a mom and I'll pick a dad. Perfect, cause I've already picked. Okay, amazing.

Yeah. I've just got to like, okay, I think, I think this is the person I'd like to see more of their DNA in the world. Okay. Yeah. Okay. So you say the mom and then you justify and then I'll say the dad and then we'll, we'll figure out what the child will do. Okay. Yeah. So my pick is the alien queen because famously the xenomorphs can mate with anything. Yeah. And then you'll get a delicious hybrid of that perfect being. Because famously, the Xenomorphs can mate with anything. Yep.

And then you'll get a delicious hybrid of that perfect being and whatever the fuck you spliced her with, maybe a clam or something, or like Fran Drescher. But then you get the best of both worlds in the new generation. A Xenomorph version of... Fran Drescher. Well, that's not who my father was. Oh, true. Right. The only thing that could go wrong, of course, is a little pin prick in the spaceship glass

window where the offspring will be sucked out. Oh. Swiftly. No. Boy. But that is my stupid answer and I stand by it. Okay. Well, my answer for the father of the human race is Wallace Shawn.

And if you don't know who Wallace Shawn is, if you've ever seen The Princess Bride, there's a short man in that that goes, inconceivable! And Wallace Shawn? Yeah. And I've just Googled him, listener. I suggest you do the same. Wallace Shawn was also in Clueless. Um, he, uh, plays the teacher that's share and, um, and what's the name set up,

um, on a date when they're doing good. Well, now all I can think about is him fucking the xenomorph queen. And they of course have a beautiful Wala Sean and yeah. Oh my god, this picture. Inconceivable! Is this when he says it? This is a really good Wala Sean. Yes. Have you seen that film? No. Oh, put it on the list. Okay.

God damn Wala Sean is so good and he's like super smart. I think he's a lecturer as well. And he's the T-Rex. Yes, exactly. He's got's a lecturer as well. And he's the T-Rex. Yes, exactly. He's got this kind of iconic voice. I know a lot of kids movies in the nineties. Yeah, he was, he was like very much an indie queen. I think. I know him.

He played the, the grand Nagus. Sorry? On Star Trek. Oh my God. He was a, oh my God, what is that species name? Um, you say something, what is that species name? You say something, I'm going to look it up. So he went to Harvard where he studied philosophy, politics and economics, as well as Latin.

And then he went to Oxford and he was going to become a diplomat. And he was a Fulbright scholar like Sasha Velour and went to India. And then he wrote a lot of plays and I just think like what an interesting man to become the face of a face of the new humanity. He played a Ferengi, the Ferengi, like the stupid owner of that stupid bar on Deep Space Nine. Fuck, that was such a good series. He's got a very dad energy. You know what I mean?

He's like... He was also in Gossip Girl as the Cyrus Rose and Ezra in 2003's The Haunted Mansion. God damn it, Wallace Shawn. Are you saying this? What? Him as a Ferengi? Describe what you're saying. So the Ferengi are these grotesque, gremlin-esque aliens

of the Star Trek universe with these huge ears that are like two thirds of their face, really. Naturally. They're great. And they're also great business people, but also scoundrels. Classic Ferengi. Inconceivable. So, so we're doing the, the Queen alien mother, mating with Wallace Shawn. I just, you know what else I love about that Queen?

Is that she's just like, she's just in that room. She's like strung up a little like web. She's like letting it all hang out. And she's just stationary. Stop saying letting it all hang out. She's like, that's her space. She's not going to come into your space, her children might, but she's a mother of many. You can't hold her accountable for each one.

Do you know what? As someone who just went to the fucking Dales for Hot Springs, keep your fucking kids to you. If your mother alien and your kids are running around and there's no toys allowed in those hot springs, why the fuck are they here? Leave them at home. Yeah. No children. How old? Children. Eww. Children. Who's that relaxing for?

Well, and they, you know, when parents like let their kids run around and they don't do any of the stepping in. So it's like who, you're the last line of defense between the public and your child. Yeah. And like, you need to set some boundaries and also you shouldn't bring them here. I don't care how stressed you are at home. Or your kids. Right. Get Anthony's mom to take care of them for three hours so you can go to the hot spring.

I know you don't like the way that she does it and then, you know, she feeds him cheesy poofs. Yeah. But it's not just about you. No, exactly. Cassandra. Anything to chime in there, Matt? I agree.

Yeah. I went to the hot springs once and there was a kid splashing in my face. I was not relaxing. It was my child. You can't blame it on a seat, I mean. Oh, she's an angel. She would never do that. She wouldn't splash?

No, no. You need to teach her about fun. Splashing in a body of water is one of my favourite parts. I did teach her how to splash the other day. She thought it was very funny. Cute. But she's still at the age where she's not like... A terror.

No, she's not a terror yet. Yeah. She's an angel. I was with a small child, visiting some friends down on the peninsula, and she came running and they're like, Go and show, go and show Robbie what you got. And she comes running down

and she's holding the fridge magnet, Lazy Susan. And she's like, Lazy Susan, Lazy Susan. And I'm like, what have you got there? And they're like pointing at the magnet and pointing back at me and they're like, that's Lazy. This is Lazy Susan. She looked like, you guys are fucking crazy. That's not my magnet.

And she apparently loves this magnet so fucking much and plays with it every day and dresses it up and they've taken away all the fun ones like the Marlboro lights and Diazepam. But yeah, loves the magnets. That is so cute. I had to put the ones away here because Cedar kept eating all the little accessories that you put his magnets. She ate that little bottle of Amel didn't she?

Yeah. Oh my god. Choking hazards. It is a bit of a choking hazard. They're very small parts. Can you make like a child safe goal or something? I mean, I am trying to get some PR action figures made at the moment, not for lazy, but for my film project. And learning about 3D modeling and 3D printing is going to be a very dangerous slippery slope.

To level up from the cricket. Oh my God. And if I can figure it out enough. Oh my God. It's all over. I really, I want to have a fuchiko. Well, that's it. I think the second that this is like, I understand how to do it. We're going to do Fujiko. Yes. And I think we have to do six. And I think they have to be either we do a full Zelda set for when you go on Drag Race, which is natural. Or if that doesn't happen like this year,

then we have to just do like a gosh upon like set with Lazy and Zelda and do mystery blindfolds. That would be so fun. I love everything about a little like gosh upon moment with particularly the little instruction sheet that shows the full set. Of course. And you know when you open it up,

you instantly know if they cared or not because some of them are so good. And like the best are when like they've done a photo shoot in like a mini set. So like, or like there's like, you know, like moss background or something like, yeah. And the worst is when it's just like a, like illustration of it. Yeah. I name be? Their first child. Queen Shawn. Wallace Queen.

Alien Shawn. Xenoshawn. Xenoshawn. Xenoshawn is actually a really beautiful name. Every now and then, something on... Just imagine someone coming out of the delivery room like, we've named him Xenoshorn. Xenoshorn. Yeah, every now and then I'll get the same little like behind the scenes video of... Alien Romulus. No, of... But sometimes that.

Of Alien 3 or whatever, where they're like, the dog was in an alien costume running around. I'm sad. That's how we got the alien dog. And I'm like, yeah, I know. It came out 20 years ago. I'm aware. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm like, I'm not dazzled by this information anymore. No, it was very much like that when Resident Evil came out and they were like, we tried to do the rotten dogs by putting greyhounds in meat suits. And I'm like, oh, they look so cute. I love, speaking of this kind of, like I love the photos from like the Lord of the Rings set where it's like Gandalf with like a seagie in his mouth

or whatever, like that kind of thing is so funny. I love that. I'm laughing. I can't believe my ears. Joke with me. Yeah, can't believe it. Okay. Well, that's been a great week.

So Cuckoo Clock of Doom. Yep. Then we've got what Alien Sean, oh, Xenoshawn. Well, wait, what? Zena Sean. Aren't we putting in Sean and the xenomorph queen? And then new child. Oh, the new child. Okay.

Yeah. And then our little, like our little clam. It's got gilded edges and googly eyes on top. Amazing. That's a good week. We've had a great week. Come on. And you've enjoyed every second of it.

Yeah. How is this more listenable than last week's episode? I don't know, but you said that, not me. Yeah, that's true. Nice and snappy. Nice and snappy. Okay, thanks for listening everyone. See you all again. Death to Everyone was recorded in natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears.

Our theme song and music was provided by Edicentric and Angus Lesley. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepod.com. Oh, and when your supporters please at patreon.com slash death to everyone. Goodbye. Thanks for watching!