Death To Everyone - Death To... Cola, Rocks & Fictional Musicians

Episode Date: April 15, 2025

Happy Death To Everyone Day! Hope youve had a wonderful week, listener. This week we debate which Cola, Rock and made up musician/band gets into the doomsday bunker! The work is important and mysterious!EnjoyFollow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Hello and welcome to Death to Everyone. My name is Zelda Moon and joining me today is Lazy Susan. This is our weekly podcast where we discuss a range of fabulous topics and preserve the best of the best in a doomsday bunker after the world has ended. Chilling and as each week we are joined by the incredible talents of the incomparable Matt Shales. Hello. Our space car driver through the galactic vortex into the celestial void.

Driving you around, dropping you off where you need to go. What's this? An asteroid field? Mmm, drive around the asteroids. I like the thrill seek I got from this. What's this? Oh, Skellington Field. Skellington Field. Okay, hello. We're drag queens. Yeah. And one of us is in drag right now.

Yes. I was just doing the gatekeeping pod. Gate, I forgot to take them to task about the way that they spell their pod. Gatekeeping. It's gatekeeping, but they spell it G-A-Y-T, no E, keeping, one word, pod. And that's impossible for SEO. Yes. T, no E, keeping, one word, pod.

And that's impossible for SEO. Yes. Such engine optimization. Gate keeping. Why doesn't Gate have an E? Well, that's it. That's it. That's what I'm saying. Anyway, it was a fabulous time in the podcast.

Um, and we did have good chats. Surely not better than this. No, no, but I did. They said, what is Rosario Dawson up to? And I was like, she's Ahsoka. And I thought you'd have been very proud. And they're like, who's that? And I'm like, some orange bitch.

That'd be racist. But yeah, is Ahsoka, are you still enjoying that? You were so excited before I came out. Yeah, Ahsoka season two will be... A super Ahsoka. You can't have someone without a super Ahsoka. There was actually, there was casting rumors this week that Natalie Pullman would be back to play one of the Celestial Goddesses in Ahsoka

season two. Because there are these like three key kind of deities in Star Wars lore. And yeah, there was a rumor that she might play one of them. Are they gods? Kind of. Spirits? Kind of. Are they physical live beings? Kind of. Gigantic even. Yeah, it's like. Yeah, kind of kind of like the MCU in a way of like there's like the

grounded goodie stories and then there's the like outer space stories or the supernatural sort of stories and Ahsoka is leaning hard into that supernatural edge. Okay. Okay. Well, I'm glad that you asked Rosario Dawson is living life. Lux. It is a shame that her character changed so much in that show though. Rosario Dawson is fun. Ahsoka is fun. Rosario Dawson as Ahsoka, not so fun. She's not having fun.

Serious. Yeah. But age do do that. So's not having fun. Quite serious. Yeah. But age do do that. So perhaps that's what really happened there. Well, that's not what happened to the character. Leslie Bibb at the White Lotus. She was having fun.

Ah. Yeah. We watched the finale of that show together. Yes. After last week's recording. Yes. What is to like? I was on the line.

No, I didn't see it. Matt, you have a child. You didn't watch it. No, I went home and watched it with my wife. Oh, what did you think? Oh, my wife. I thought it was good. I loved it. Did you like it?

I really enjoyed it. Yeah. I had such a ball. Yeah. I was also just like. Lots of people online seem to be saying it's so boring. Fuck, I hate that. I know.

I was like, you know what? Just sit back and enjoy it. I also just think I I know, I was like, you know what? Just sit back and enjoy it. I also just think, I'm like, I don't know, we were talking about this on the way home, but the fan theorification of television, I could give a rat's hole It's a bit much. what you think is going to happen in the next episode.

Do you know how I like to enjoy things? By seeing what the fucking artist who made it thought they were going to make. You know what I mean? I don't care. And also go away. Stop clogging up my TikTok. We're like, this is why I think this is happening. I was like, shut up!

Shut up! Guess what? In six to seven days will watch the new episode And no and now we've watched it all yeah, and you know what I was so glad to just watch Enjoy the entertainment yeah It's like the modern version of like that friend who would sit on the couch with you and just be like that's the villain This is what I think yeah, she gonna be that. Trying to like guess all the spoilers. There's such a like, people take such pride in like knowing where something's going. And it's like, I mean, I guess it's

cause it's not something that I do. I rarely have kind of, I'm like genuinely shocked most of the time when something happens. I go like, oh my God. And then like, did you notice that that thing was from there? And I was like, no, didn't notice until that the artist was ready to tell me. I, cause they just were like, I'm on the ride. I'm reacting to it emotionally.

Yeah. I don't want to get caught up in the maybe this, maybe that. Well, yeah, it's also love. Like if in 10 years time, it's still culturally relevant and you want to do a deep dive and explain some of the interesting things, that's fun. I like that. Or a fan theory that happens after the thing has been out and digested and spoken about where they're like, oh, this person was actually this or whatever.

I mean, that's fun and creative and interesting, but it's like the real time, every fucking show needs this kind of response in order to maintain its presence in the market. It's so too much. The only thing, I will say, the only thing that I was like, kind of building up in my head was that there was going to be something to do

with the monkeys. There were so many shots of monkeys through the whole show and they were always like with this ominous music underneath. And then, cause it was like foreshadowed at the very start, you know, there's gunshots going off in the hotel. I was like, surely the monkeys have stolen the guns and they're just killing everyone. But that would have been like maybe a bit of a let down. So I think that would, I think, thank God you weren't running.

But I'm sure I was thought that they would have something to do with it. Cause they did have something to do with it. They were just watching. They've represented the theme of the fucking show. That's right. In the end. Yes. They represented the theme of the fucking show. Well, that's right. The monkey mind. Yeah. In the end, yes, they represented something. It's a visual motif, like a crashing wave. It's not that a tsunami is going to come and wipe out the white loaders.

Just something ominous is about to happen. It's not going to be a tsunami. Speaks to the inner turmoil. Tsunami. I... Wow. I hated... Go on. Seeing online, like...

Where did we even get the scene where like, Cunty Bob or Famous Woman or whatever, knew Parky Pose's character? Shit like that. Yeah. That was just the scene. That's it. That was it. Sometimes your lives connect with other people and then they never do again.

That's it. That's what I liked about the show, I think, was it left a lot of things sort of just in motion still. Yeah. It just exists. And that's, I mean, I think- Like a lot of the bad guys just got away with what they were doing. It is Taylor Swift's fault.

It is Marvel's fault because in both of those things, everything has to add up. If you carry the one and do the fucking thing, then you find out that it all... And it's like, in life, it is... It was so nice. It was actually refreshing. Things just happen.

Some things are significant, some things are insignificant. Yeah. Some things you can draw your own meaning from. And I think like the, like giving airtime to the insignificant things is incredibly profound and like just adds a flavor to the big things. Yeah. Like Parker Pose's character is completely self-involved and likes the comfort of her family and her money and isn't interested in the pleasantries of someone you met 10

years ago or whatever. And that was great for showing that part of her character. And then that was it. I didn't need them to like- Now she's gone to the FBI to report her husband. What? Yeah. Shut up.

But it's like, you know, it's just nice to, you know, in a character study, to just turn your characters loose and see how those people interact. And I think like when you've written these two well-drawn interesting characters, you're like, oh, they might know each other. Let's write a scene where they interact and how do they interact and what's interesting about that and what does it reveal about each of them? And like, that's interesting.

Yeah. I don't need like, yeah. Even like, even that scene, it's like the way that the kids all react. Like, Patrick Schwarzenegger at that time was like, whatever, didn't bat an eyelid. And then like, um, like Patrick Schwarzenegger at that time was like, whatever. Yeah. Didn't bat an eyelid. And then like, was it the girl that was a bit like, a bit rude or whatever? That's interesting.

Yeah. Anyway, it's like everything is there because they intended for it to be there. Yeah. So just back off. I love watching my quiet. He had like two great media moments after the release where he was like, everyone, like the audience sucks and they need to stop being such bossy bottoms.

I'm edging you and like you will come, but you're being edged right now. So not everything's gonna happen right now. Shut up and don't come home with me if you don't want me to edge you. And I was like, that's a great response. And then when he was talking about the composer coming out about the White Lotus theme song

and saying that he was never gonna work with Mike White again because Mike and him had like a big feud. And he was like, that guy just did not have any respect for me, We didn't fight. I think he just wants to be dark and mysterious and I like reality television. And I think like we're just different, but he didn't respect that I was giving notes

as the creator of the show. And like for season one and two, he was much better at that, but then he won these Emmys and got all this fame and was really bought in on the like his own hype on TikTok. And so, yeah, like, but it was just such a bitch move of him to like, go and do that four days before the finale came out, like, and make that public in the

New York Times. Draw the focus. And I was like, that's great. Just call it a bitch move and then call it a day. I like that. Yeah. It was a bitch move. Also just like, shut up, composer.

You got hired to do a job. You know what I mean? I don't care if it doesn't have the, oh, lulululu. No. Yeah. So what was the story? That they didn't come back for season three because- No, he came back for season three, but he said he won't work with him again after season

three's experience. Oh, so he did the title theme for season three, but he said he won't work with him again after season three's experience. Oh, so he did the title thing. He did the title theme and then Mike had been like, I just, I don't want that. And I think it was like partially the different tone of the, the season three and then partially that I think at the end of season two, people had been like, I think that there's something a bit provo about this. Um, blah, blah, blah. There's definitely some more information about that, but I don't know the full story. But just being like, it's a little bit like appropriative of like, you know, um, but he

was like, yeah, I think I want to cut that. But like, da da da. And then when the whole internet went crazy because the theme song wasn't giving them banger vibes, then the guy emailed and was like, can we put out the extended version just so it proves that there's a version where I put that in? And Mike was like, no. And then he was like, fuck you, man. Fuck you.

The internet's saying how lame I am. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. I just think that that's like. That's funny. Also, everyone that didn't, like, you don't get everything you want in this life. Well, that's it. You know?

Well, including the song for season three to be the same as season one and two, but slightly different. You didn't get that and you're never gonna get it. Never gonna get it. So you know what? Get over it. Yeah, some people died at the're never going to get it. Never going to get it. So you know what? Get over it. Yeah. Some people died at the way that is.

Yeah. They had a hard time. Yeah. You're fine. Yeah. And so what else is happening? We did our first, we did our first improv live show. We did. How did it go?

It was fabulous. It was fun. Um, no, it was like, it like, it was the most bizarre experience because I think beforehand, super stressed was like, I don't know if this is it for us. Because you just, I mean, the whole point, right, is that we don't know what's about to happen. Whereas normally when you go into a drag show, you've rehearsed or you know you've got your lips sitting down or whatever, but this is like, oh, I don't know what we're about to present.

And like just knowing what you don't know, knowing that you just like, I don't have a lot of experience here and I don't really know if, but you know, 90 something people showed up to this ticketed event. Yeah. They did laugh and people were like, it was funny.

You guys did well. Yeah. But I think it was obvious that we was funny. You guys did well. Yeah. But I think it was obvious that we're like very new to the game. Yeah. But I think it was a good time. I had fun. Yeah. And I loved my wig.

So that was good. That's all that really matters. Did you see the photo today of me with that dolphin behind me? Dolphin? Yeah. Oh my God. Incredible. I like that.

Dolphin was in a slideshow that was part of the show. Of course. In this visual, I mean audio only medium. Yeah, they're fine. They saw it. So the other thing that happened, which was so ecstatic and jubilant was my write-up in variety. Yes. Industry mag.

So the backstory here listeners, we got into this event, which you know about because from the Baby Slut episode. But we got into this event, which is a pitching event at Cannes Film Festival as part of like Cannes and this like genre film festival in Canada called Fantasia. I think it's called Cannes. Shut up.

Cannes. Curjan keeps doing that joke where he's like, oh, Robbie's going to Cannes, as in Cannes in Queens. Oh no, I meant Cannes as in Noggers. And because he does it, it like completely deflates the news and he's like, oh, Robie's got great news. He's going to Cannes. And the person's like, okay. Anyway.

And then by the time you clarified, you have to be like, no, like Cannes. And it's exciting, but now it's been completely derailed by Cannes. And you're still thinking about cans. We can't talk about Khan. I'm thinking about knockers. Go on. Well, so we got into that thing. And they were like, don't tell anyone

until we announce in variety. And by then, the episode where I said it in our publicly available podcast was already out. And I was like, of course I wouldn't tell anyone. I'll wait until it's announced in variety naturally. And then we had, okay, so then that's happening. And they, um, they basically do an article where they announce all the things getting pitched in the work in progress and all the things that are getting pitched in the ready to go and just needs a distributor category. Ours is the work in

progress. And then they were like, so it's going over to Variety. Do you have any additional details? And I was like, well, do Variety know that I won this reality drag competition show? Maybe there's an article in that, like just trying to push my like, hi, I am the diva. And they're like, no, we'll let them know and see if they are interested in doing anything. And then they message back and we're like, oh my God, that's actually such a fabulous angle. We'd love to have a separate chat and we'll do like a breakout article about their film, which we're like, wait, a separate one just about us?

And so we're like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then we, they were like, hop on a call with John Hopewell, who's going to write the article. Now, listener, we jump on a call. I'd just been doing some stuff in drag. So I was in drag on the call, which was very fabulous because it was like drive home the point even more. And we jump on the call and it's me and my two producers, Annie and Lauren, and then John, John Hopewell. And he's like this like 80 year old man, sorry if you're not 80, John. And he's like sitting in front of a bookcase.

He's like an ex-pat Brit who lives in Spain full time. And he's like an in front of a bookcase. He's like an ex-pat Brit who lives in Spain full-time. And he's like an old school film reporter, like classic variety journalists from like the good old days of film reportage who just covers all the festivals. And he's like staring into the Skype and he's got a cigarette in his hand. And he's like, hello, so lovely to meet you.

And I'm like, oh my God. And then he's like, is that you, Robert? Are you in the film? And I'm like, no, that's not me. That's my friend, Wes, who's 47 and I'm 33, so fuck you. And he's like, I really liked the film, can I say. It was so prescient how it all came together. And you know, when I used to go to the homosexual discotheques in the 1970s in Spain, the gays really did have such a fabulous point of view on the world.

I'm like, oh my God, I love this man. And then he's like literally chewing cigarettes like they're just vanishing and he's like I'm so excited about this film it really is marvelous except he didn't speak like that he's British anyway but he's like anyway so um you know oh gosh where's my brain you know, oh gosh, where's my brain? You know, I'm getting so old, and I think getting old is like becoming a child again. You know, your cognitive ability begins to decline and your physical acuity begins to go,

but that's okay, I quite liked being a child. And then he's like, I'll be writing this article on the weekend because I tend to do all my work on the weekend. I'm just too busy to work most of the time. And then he says, I hope that we will be speaking for the next 20 years." And we're like, oh, that's so nice. For it will mean I have lived another 20 years. It was incredible. But yeah, so then we got this incredible, and then like it came out on Wednesday, like in the night, but in the morning in Spain

or whatever. And it was just obscene to have like an article in Variety, which is like, anyway, it was so chic. Yes. And the funny thing that came out shortly after, which is perhaps a little bit of a ding against one of our incredible local gay publications, the Star Observer, bless them love, or Q News or something, put out an article being like, Lazy Susan has just finished a feature film and it's premiering at Cannes.

Oh. It was like, they were like, oh, that's not the case at all. Not at all. And they were like, we're so proud of her. And I was like, when did I make a feature film? When did I have time? What do you mean? You just won the Palm D'Or. I was like, geez, guys, you read the article. It says all the information there. That's very, very good. Like, Lady Susan has just been voted into the Senate. Yeah.

Like, why not? But yeah, so fabulous. That's good. Yeah. So when do you go? Going on May the 13th. And then, and we got Screen Australia funding to go. Oh, great.

So they're paying for us to go. Hard. Yes. Which is insane. Yeah. And we'll have to come too to do the podcast. Well, of course. Naturally that was included in the budget.

But you'll take the space car. Oh yes, we'll just take the space car. We don't need bookie flights. Yeah. But yeah, so going to that. And yeah, so now it's all just about figuring out all the bits and bobs. We're trying to make some like little merch

to take and give out. So we're doing some little action figures of the characters in the film. And did some lenticular business cards that have like clips from the film on them because I'm like Khan doesn't know but I like to do much Yeah, and I'll be doing it for this despite the fact that the film itself doesn't exist. Let's zero star observer reader Hey, they loved it and the main thing people like message be like, I went can I see it? Oh my god, I'm like

Two years from now. Yeah. What is the projected release date? It really depends. I mean, ideally, ideally, if we can pick up a sales agent or a distributor, I don't know how it all works. If we can pick up the money that we need. So I think currently we're looking for, it's gonna be a $2.5 million film.

Yeah. Whistles. It's been a change. I know, chump change. But if we can pick up the things that we need, hopefully we can shoot really quick because then we'll be in a window that allows us to try and get into either South by Southwest,

the film festival in Austin, Texas, or Sundance Film Festival, the one in Utah, which are the two kind of like good genre film festivals in North America that like, I think, would be fabulous to go to, because you're like, yeah, it's quite prestigious. At that point as well, like then from that moment you do your festival run and try and get into as many film festivals as possible and then you want to find your distribution and

that would be then when the time where it would come up in a cinema to actually be able to go and see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Although the beanbag one, the most harrowing piece of information I learned yesterday, my producer told me was that there were 86 Australian films in cinemas last year and 62 of them made a combined total of $1 million. Oh, geezez Louise. Is that not the most fucking depressing thing you've ever heard? That's really sad. Well, same with the music industry.

It's like two artists in the top 40. You leave Tones and I out of this. It was Tones and I. Everyone's, yeah, everyone's just looking overseas. It's really sad. Right? Well, you know, then I found out like the domestic total for Talk To Me, which was a smash hit.

Do you know how much a smash hit is in Australia? 5 million. 4. Oh, I was joking at 5. That was low. Oh. And I'm like, I always go to the cinema. Yeah.

But it's so. I thought about the cinema cinema that film ended up making 96 million worldwide. Yeah. And only four of that came from the place where it was made. That's fucking crazy. That's pretty grim. It's also just really hard to like, I don't think like in Australia, I don't think we understand how small the population is. Yeah.

It's just so different. Like, yeah, it's insane. And like that just like, yeah. Do you think we should leave? I'm getting in my space car. Leave it. Yeah. Katy Perry's about to leave Earth. I know. I think we're at six days.

She's going into space for a second. Yeah. Um, but have you seen all the, like people being like, I don't think she should go. I think something bad is going to happen. I saw a post that was like, when she comes back, we should all forget who she is. It just comes back and no one knows that we, we don't know who she is. Just like prank. There was someone who posted the picture of her in her like iridescent astronaut outfit and they were like, wow, this bitch flops so hard. They're sending her to space.

Everyone back off. God. Oh, I really think I should get tickets. To her in space. No, to her in Melbourne. Um, this now, if you want to come with me, let me know. Don't invite us. You should come.

Can we go? Can we expense it to the podcast? Yeah. Put on the massive expense. We'll put it to Screen Australia. Yeah, Screen Australia will pay for my... Endeavors? No, let's... Yeah, do I want to go? That's the thing, because Gaga tickets are out this week. Okay. And I'm like, you know, I just... I love Lady Gaga. I don't think I need to go to a concert.

I love Lady Gaga. I don't think I need to go to a concert. I just, cause I went to Laneway. Yeah. Saw Charlie XCX. Yeah. And the whole time I was like, this fucking sucks. I hate this. I hate being in a sea of people. Yeah. Maybe it's the like American in me. I'm like, Oh my God, I'm going to die here. And then I'm like, if I wanted to watch, like I could stand in a football oval and get you to put on like, you know, one of your curly girl wigs and like drop to the ground

at the other side of the football oval and just kind of shake around for a little bit. And it would give me the same effect because you can't fucking tell who it is on stage. They're like less than half a centimeter tall in your line of sight. Well, Charlie's also very... I also just learned this on that gatekeeping pod. Do you know that Greta Gerwig wants to cast Charlie XCX as the white queen in Narnia? Oh. It's insane. Why are they making more Narnia films? They're doing a TV series. Oh what? No, I think it's a

film series. Oh is it? Yeah. This is going to be released on VOD. Streaming. Oh my God. The more I think about Rings of Power, the angrier I get. Don't talk about it again. Oh, actually. We don't need to bring it up again. You always upset Matt when you talk about it because he loves Rings of Power. I didn't love it. I just thought it was good. It was good. I just, oh. Let's talk about something else. We don't need to talk about that. I'm just looking for those original films where and how far we've fallen.

Anyway. Zelda, are you doing okay? Am I doing okay? Well, what have I done since we last recorded? Well, I, uh, okay. I, um, you know what I will say? This is probably, I've been thinking about this so much this week. So last weekend, it was my, oh no, you're all going to be so disappointed.

Other than everyone thinking it's hilarious. Like I had so many people after the improv night being like, how many of those things did you have part of? Cause there was so many ocean animals. I was not responsible for all of the ocean animals in that presentation. Anyway, um, so last week it was my Nonna's 90th and I went to her um, birthday lunch, which was cute, and I bought her a gorgeous cyclamen and like a nice little pot for it to sit in. And when I went to the nursery near my house to purchase such a gift, I saw this amazing carnivorous plant, but it's $180. What kind of carnivorous plant? You're starting a collection.

It's the... I am and it's just so hard. It's a you say something. Is it one of those ones that looks like a huh? Pterodactyl. Victory bell. Yes. Yeah it's one of the picture plants. Nepenthes. Yes I'm glad you looked that up. I needed Nepenthe. Yes. I'm glad you looked that up. I needed Nepenthe. Yes, which I have one of. So like, yeah, I have one of, but it's just like a smaller variety, but this one is like gigantic. The little cups are huge.

Why don't you get it as a gift for yourself? Well, I kind of want to anyway. So my point is- You work so hard. You know when you're like, you go and look at something and you're like, I won't buy it now. And if I'm still thinking about it in a few days, that means I know I really like it. I really like it. I want to go back and buy it. Why is it $180? But also who cares? I just want to go and get it. So anyway, at any waking moment when

I'm not doing something, that's what I've been thinking about since last Saturday. And here we are at this Saturday. Time to get it. What are you going to do if it's gone? Well, they had two, but I don't think anyone else is stupid enough to pay $180 for that plant. So I feel pretty secure. Also, I went back a couple of days ago and it was still there. So, um, yeah, I think you really like, We went back a couple of days ago and it was still there. So, yeah. I think you really like, I don't know how you tricked us

into listening to that story. Yeah. You want to tell us a story about your life and you tell us about something you didn't buy from the nursery. This is my life. But in answer to your other question, I didn't actually say this in the car.

When we were driving here, I've got some time off work coming up. Because if you're in Victoria and you indeed took three days of annual leave and have resulted in 10 days off in the next coming fortnight, congratulations. I did the same thing. Tricky dick. And you were like, what are you going to do? And I was saying, I need to borrow your car or your husband's car because

I want to go to a nursery and get some rocks so I can, that I need a car to bring the rocks back to my house. She's tricked us again. Are you going to tie them around your ankles and then jump into the lake? Maybe it'll be enough for both of us. And the survivor is a witch. But no, I want to like re edge one of my garden beds and it has this like rotting shitty little Bunnings fence around it. I want to do like a nice little rock wall.

I think you need to stop putting up rocks to your house. You know what I mean? Let it open it up. You need to get rid of that lawn, honey. You know what I mean? Let it open it up. You need to get rid of that lawn, honey. You know what I mean? Yeah. You hate lawn. I just think lawn, you know, colonize the grass.

Wow. Get rid of it. Okay. It's time. It's just sucking water away. You could do so much with that backyard and it's just a lawn. Lazy Susan. Yeah. Why don't you tell us how the world ends? The world ends, let me tell you. So much with that backyard and it's just a lawn. Lazy Susan, why don't you tell us how the world ends?

The world ends, let me tell you. Okay, so there is a new mandate from up on high, from I guess the federal government, to lay down lawn. And what ends up happening in this rush to create more gorgeous emerald green lawns is the destruction of all other life on earth in the pursuit of turning Australia and then the world into just a massive golf course.

I don't know, like at the time when we're doing it, we don't know why we're doing it, but then of course at the end we realized that we've just been working on a golf course when we see some like rich men drive up in one of those fantastic mini cars. A buggy. They're so cool. A bambuggy. Anyway, so then everything else, you know, the food bowl dies, there's no food available,

everything's just grass. And a lot of the world's water supply goes to that until everyone, you know, dies of an unquenchable thirst for the most verdant green lawns you've ever seen. And that's the story. I like it. I think. Yeah. It's very ominous. Hmm.

Yeah. It's a slow ominous death. You take paradise, put up a big old lawn. What does she say? Parking lot. Parking lot. Yeah. Oh no. I used to think she said fucking lot when I was a teenager.

Fucking lot. Angry. Wow. Yeah. Oh, no, no, she said fucking lot when I was a teenager Yeah, thanks Nora Jones What and with that Hello. Hello, we're back. And welcome back. There is this man, can I say, who is an IT teacher in New Zealand. Husband, you've got to stop listening right now. IT teacher in New Zealand. Husband, you've got to stop listening right now. IT teacher in New Zealand? And he has a TikTok. And he does like home renovation on his home.

And he's got a very happy life. He's got kids and a wife. But he is so fine. So beautiful. Show me. His name is Cranky Pants. Cranky Pants NZ. I'll send you a picture.

Send me a picture. But god damn. Yeah. I don't know. It just, it's pretty crazy. What's the genre? He's like, you would love this man, I think. Like...

Okay, I'm going to send you a profile, his URL. You go to the URL and then you describe to the listener what you've seen. How does that sound? I think that way we're inviting the listener in to see what this moment is. Here's the link. Okay, the link has come through on to Zelda's phone. Home renovations with Chris. Renovation videos to entertain and showcase the realities of home renovation

in New Zealand. No, I don't like this. You don't like this? I don't like this at all. Describe the man. Okay. So he's like aged from the sun. He's looks like he's that kind of like blonde ginger.

Okay. So that sounds like that's already something that you would like. Yeah. But he has this like American, like quizzical expression of like, I don't know how I, I don't know. I don't know why you're coming to me for advice on renovating your bathroom windows, but here we are. He definitely does have that. Um, and I don't like that. Look, here he is doing a handstand, but he clearly can't do a handstand. So why am I, here he is doing a handstand, but he clearly can't do a handstand.

So why am I watching him attempt to do a handstand? It's quirky. He's got the kiwi, you know, no nonsense. Why? What does he sound like? Why did- I rushed to get this roof on, put up the gatter, expecting that this would just- Okay, well that has redeemed him somewhat, but- Come on, listen- No, I don't like it because you know who he isn't. Who?

Is the Kiwi grower, who is my favorite New Zealander, who is an actual ginger. And he's so hot. Look at how hot this guy is. Yeah, listen. He's so hot. Yeah, this man is just like a very traditionally hot guy. The other guy has more like off the beaten path dad vibes. No.

That's why he's a diamond in the rough. You just like an Abercrombie model who's next to plants. No. That's the Kiwi Grower. That is not his vibe. Also we chit chat in the DMs. You do not get in the DMs with the Kiwi Grower. I do.

What does he say? I do. What does he say? I do. What does he say? Okay, so he usually just- This is a bad question I was like, he- He usually just like emojis- I'm going to get some rocks in my rock hole next week. Do you need to know that I am gay?

He's aware. And he speaks back. He spoke back the last time because I said- What a loser. Oh no, I actually- No, you have to, you have to, you have to. And he speaks back. He spoke back the last time. Because I said. What I'll lose it. Oh no, I actually can't. No, you have to, you have to. This person is exactly the same as Lazy's one. Yeah.

No, it isn't. He is. He also looks damaged by the sun. He looks almost exactly identical. This guy is damaged by the sun. Look, I can't deny that. He's got the same vibe. The sun makes fools of the soul.

He's got the exact same vibe as Lazy's one. You just don't like cranky pants. I don't deny that. He's got the same vibe. He's got the exact same vibe as Lazy's one. You just don't like cranky pants. I don't. What, your brand is being cranky? I don't like that. That's what his family calls him. Oh, that's the other thing. At least this guy hides his wife.

Tell us what you said to this poor man. I said I replied to it because he always posts the thirsty content because he's aware that he's a model. So that is, this is why you should get on board with Cranky Pants. He doesn't do that shit. He's not like, he's not built for it, darling. Um, he's got very expressive eyebrows. Cranky, no, grow up.

Yeah, too much. No, Cranky Pants. Yeah. Um, he. No, grow up. Yeah, too much. No, cranky pants. No, cranky. Yeah. He's a good Kiwi man. Anyway, I said something thirsty in response to his thirsty content. No, say what you said. No, I absolutely can't.

You need to say, Zella, you need to quote yourself. No, I can't. No, you do. You just say what it is. Just let the listener listen. This is a glimpse into your side. So he... Oh no like a week ago about all the different peaches that he grows on his farm.

And he posted this like, I can't remember it because it's gone, but like some stupid, probably shirtless, him holding peaches being like, check out my peaches. And then I responded, one of these days, I hope it's a link to a different peach. And he responded to that. Death, execution. I said, then he laughed, emoji reacted to that. And then for some reason, Jesus Christ, at 7.20 on the 14th of March, I then said, I just finished watering my garden for the night. Love your YouTube. And he said,

it wasn't yet a proposal, but I'm sure it will soon be. He said, nice. Hope it's growing well. Smiley face. Nice. Yeah, great. I hope your garden is doing well. I too like to garden as you can tell by the theme of my Instagram.

We have so much in common. One day I hope that you could water my garden at night. Water my peaches. And by peaches I mean your ass. Oh, wow. And with that. I would never message cranky pants. No, you'd be so cranky about it. What did you think about that first trap, son of a bitch from Squid Game that I sent the other day?

Oh, angry. He's also super proper. Okay. So the listener, um, I don't know if you watch the reality version of Squid Game, but there was a guy in it who he actually did really well got like top placement but he has like this massive ass and he has a young family and his like kind of come up through thirst trapping yeah and doing bit of like OnlyFans vaguely but not actually no his OnlyFans is just him in underwear.

With his other like gym bros in their underwear. Yeah. But yeah, and Zelda had sent a picture which is like weirdly like him shirtless thirst trapping but then his like newborn baby is like in the front pocket of his pants or something. Yeah. Oh no. He just like all of his content is him being hot and half naked, but picking up his children.

Yeah. Or like, some genre. It's just weird. I'm like, why are you combining these two things? Perhaps they should be exclusively separate from each other. Yeah. But I don't, I don't like it. What did you say to him? I don't think I've ever said him a DM, but let's just check.

That's brave. Nothing. Nothing yet? Nothing. One day I hope. I won't. I don't like it. Also, he's obsessed with Dragon Ball Z, which of course I can get behind, but... I don't know. He kind of sucks whole.

Okay. Lazy Susan, what type of cola should we put in the bunker? Zap Cola. Zap. Zap. What the fuck is that? It's what they drink in Simpsons. Well, I'm not in Simpsons.

Well, that much is fucking obvious. If you were in Simpsons, you'd be a delight. Zap. Okay, Zap Cola. DC Cola. Do you like DC? DC Cola. No, I feel like I've seen it once. Okay, what else?

Cola? Green Cola? Green Cola? No, you know, Cody's, Cody, or Cola. Okay. LA Ice? LA Ice. No.

You don't like the Aldi brand LA Ice? No, I don't. Oh, we used to love getting, there was like a really, it must have been like 10 bucks for a slab of LA Ice and like 24 cans or something. And we used to like shotgun LA Ice because I'd seen it in that film, The Short Thing. And you know, have you ever shotgunned a beer or like seen someone do that? Shotgunned. Where you like stab a hole with a pen into the bottom of the can, and then you open the can and release the liquid.

So it just gushes into your gob. And then you like throat the entire thing. It's a very frat party thing to do, but because I'd learned that from a film, I like was like, we're all doing this. Have you seen that guy on TikTok who like throats, like, like just glugs down and like an entire? Yeah. That is so crazy. Oh yeah.

Yeah. And the sound, I wonder if I can get the sound. You say something about that. Kiwi grower. Matt, do you have any feelings about Cola? Um, oh God, I do like, I do like cola. Which cola? I like the flavor of cola. Which one? I don't know which one, but most colas, they're not actually cola anymore. Have you, have you tried like a real cola?

Like an organic cola. Yeah, like from a cola? Like an organic cola? Yeah, like it from a cola. Is it a nut? Oh true. I think it's a nut, a cola nut. Does that sound right? Let's find out. That might be wrong. Because I think I had one one time and it was like from a cola, it actually had cola in it. Okay, well let's find out.

It's a Cola nut. Cola flavoring ingredients generally include citrus oil, cinnamon, vanilla and trace flavorings. I don't know, I think it is just more of an orangey, cinnamony, vanilla flavor. Yeah, see it was originally using the Cola nut, which is spelled with a K. Cola. Coca Cola uses sugars as its primary sweetness while sugar-free versions like blah blah blah blah. Okay, interesting. It is just like a citrusy, vanilla-y drink. Yeah, but the flavor, yeah, I like it. I think one time I had a Cola,

like a Cola with actual cola and that was really nice, but I can't remember what it was called. Yeah. I think like up at Earthly Pleasures in Belgrave, they like were really early on the dick of those awful organic colas. They're all disgusting. I had a good one. We don't have Coke.

We just have cola by, you know, hemp farm slims or whatever. And yeah, they're always so like, just don't serve cola. You know, we just did a hungry Jack's before this. So is it can not is a can not do. Is that a cola? No, that's a, that's an orange. Different kind of affair. Yeah.

It's more of an orange bit. I feel like that is somewhat cola still. It's definitely in the, like the realms, but then by that logic. So it's Dr. P. Dr. Pepper. What's a Dr.

Pepper? Well, it's a Dr. Pepper. I feel like she sits in her own realm. Well, that's it. She's got a kind of cherry medicine-y flavor. But the point is, there's cola. There's Coke.

Coke. Coke. Cola. Pepsi. Pepsi Max. What about vanilla Coke? Vanilla Coke. I did, I did used to drink a lot of vanilla Coke for a while.

I think there's something, so, and which is funny now that we know that Coke is just a little bit of vanilla and citrus. It's like, Oh, now they're just giving us more of the same. Yeah. You know, that is funny. I'm laughing. And now we all know that as well. We all know that.

What that, I mean, there's just so many infinite varieties of coke these days. Um, which is quite- The one with your name on it? What? Have you ever gotten one with your name on it? No, I haven't. Sad. That's probably for the best.

Um, but I do still have, uh, promotional, were they Coke or Pepsi cans? I don't know, from Lord of the Rings, when it was coming out and I have those still for some reason, really cool, I know. But I pitch. Yeah. Like if it's for the end of time. Yeah, true.

Then surely we just gift the bunker actual factual Coca-Cola. Fountain Coke? Fountain Coke. Fountain Coke or bottled Coke or canned Coke. What's a fountain Coke? Fountain Coke is like a cinema Coke. I love cinema Coke. Yeah, like it's a premix.

I mean like a post-mix. Oh, it's so icy. It's so cold. It's that pre-mix. I mean like a post-mix. Oh, it's so icy. It's so cold. It's so gigantic. It's... You love a barrel of coke. Oh yeah, this is what I was going to say. We just did Hungry Jacks prior to this engagement

and we went through the drive-through, as we want to do, and I had no pants on and I was in drag. And I had no pants on and I was in drag. And I went up to the thing and I was like, can I get the veggie meal? I love the veggie meal, little did I know. I was about to go down the garden path on that one because I did mean the rebel whopper meal. She should have clarified.

She should have fucking clarified. Yeah. I ended up with that dodgy ass, 1986 chickpea fucking patty. And I said it was okay at the time. It wasn't okay. It wasn't okay. No. No, and like I used to be able to eat that

when it was the only option. Yeah, but now you know about the rebel version. Just wanted that rebel whopper. Anyway, I was like, can I get that with a diet coke? And then she was like, sorry, we don't have diet coke. No, coke zero is fine. And she's like, we don't have that either. And I was like, right.

Throw it out. And I was like, can I get that with just water then? And then she was like, we don't have water. We just have coke. Yeah. No. Ah. Ah.

They don't have water. They didn't have water. And she, we went up to the like counter and rolled up and I looked like the way I looked. Yeah. Which was brave of me. Yes. On one of these non-pride months.

And she was like, oh. and I was like, hello. And she's like, I'm so sorry about the lack of water. But I've got a Coke. And I think that it's too big. This beverage is far too big. Well, you did order a large. A large is too much liquid. But you would say that of any liquid. You like sample

size. I just want a sip. Yeah. And also then like it's like how much of a post-mix giant drink is good? Lots. How much? What percentage do you think I'm still getting value out of this? For you, there's no value in that for you. No, I'm saying for you. For me? First sip I grant you is probably the most incredible thing in the world. It's crisp, it's fizzy, you can see all the ice

is still in there. It's a delight. Okay, second sip, it started to be diminishing returns. Okay, for some. I just like, like I love a high ice percentage because I am a grazer of beverages and of meals and like I need it to maintain that temperature for as long as possible because I'm going to gulp it down and like that guy on TikTok, sorry, listen, I couldn't get the sound effect because searching gulping on TikTok

did not result in the video I desired. Bookmarker for later. Yeah. He's also really hot. Wow. He's, yeah. I don't know what you like anymore. But like, how can that esophagus just like dilate?

Psychological issue. It's crazy. Like just a channel to the bottom of your gut. Yeah, can't be good. What if we tipped him upside down? Out it would come. It would. No, he probably could still lock it up tight.

I don't know. I actually didn't think it was physically possible anyway. I mean, I, like if I, if you've been to the cinema with me, this, I have, you know that I'll get the biggest coke. She gets a, like a bucket. And then more often than not these days, it's not like I finish it. Well, what the fuck was the point? Well, cause maybe I would.

I went to, we were, what is it? 400 gratis. What is it? 100 Gradi? 200 Gradi? You know the pizza place on, like on the street? 400 Gradi. 400 Gradi.

Yeah. And we were there picking up pizzas and there was this awful family in front of us who were paying the bill. I'm like, my son's got cokes and it was filled with us. We're not paying for us. And this poor Italian man who did not come all the way here to listen to that sound emanating from that woman's open esophagus. And then-

They had gulped all the coke. Yeah, and she's like, yeah. And then he's like, okay, well, I'll take that off the bill immediately. And it was like, he just knew that this woman just wanted free coke. Yeah. But I was like, she's kind of part of the problem

that we're not like the reason we're not getting ice in beverages. I hate that. I hate it. She's wrong. Yeah, because the thing with ice, and let me tell you, this is the thing with ice, right? If you have too little ice, it melts faster. Yes. Yes. And then your drink is warm. Yeah. If you have the right ratio of ice, you may get less of the drink, but it will stay colder for longer. It'll be a better version.

It's a better drink. Yeah. It'll be much more enjoyable. For that, for like a giant, you know, behemoth size, like bazooka of soda, that cup should be to the roof, filled with ice. It's like global warming. Yeah. The faster the ice melts. The worse the problem gets.

Yeah. And but yeah, it should be filled with ice. Yes. The cup needs to be full of ice. Yeah. 400 Gratty, Bogan Bitch. And so, So I think... The bucket of Coca-Cola.

Yeah, so I love like cinema form. I like form... Post mix cinema. Um... Pepsi. You're not a Pepsi girl. Like, so if of any version... Do you engage in the cultural war that is Coke v Pepsi?

No, I think that's quite boring. Yeah. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think they're both probably quite evil. Like, so if of any version... Do you engage in the cultural war that is Coke v Pepsi?

No, I think that's quite boring. I think they're both probably quite evil. I think that Pepsi ads funny. I think Coke dominating the planet evil. But I would get Coke over Pepsi any day, given the choice. Like I would literally never in my life choose any version of Pepsi over any version of Coke. But I'll have Pepsi if it's all they got. That's fine.

That's fine. I just would never touch it with a 10 foot tall. But like, and even then, like I don't think I can't recall the last time I had a Pepsi. Does Pepsi have all the flourishy other versions? Yeah. Do they have like Pepsi vanilla? Yeah. Do they have like Pepsi vanilla? Yeah.

Do they? Yeah. I've never seen that before in my life. Open your eyes, do you? I don't go down that aisle. There's a beautiful world around you. I don't go down that aisle. Soda pop.

I'm not going down that aisle, soda aisle. Oh, okay. Well, I don't really either unless I'm at the cinema or out or at lunch or out for dinner or looking for Dr Pepper. I love a Dr Pepper though. It's just too sweet though. If they made like a 50% sweet Dr Pepper, I'd be up in that bitch.

So wait, okay. But I do love vanilla Coke. I think Matt's correct. I think vanilla Coke is probably the most interesting innovation that's taken place and I don't think they've topped it. I... Except when they did cherry Coke, but then you're just honey. Don't you love that Evie's cherry Coke?

I do love that. At Evie's disco. And with the medicino cherry. The addition of a medicino cherry. That's delicious. It's so tart. Yum. And that colour, that's a beautiful red.

You might call it cherry red. I love that. Yeah. So I would say... What do you think about Coke with... Well, you don't think anything about it, but I'm like... I've come so back to my roots. What do you think about Coke with, well, you don't think anything about it, but I'm like, I've come so back to my roots.

I'm going back, back, back to my roots. On like a Scotch and Coke or Jack and Coke. I just think that it is the most down home, Bogan bitch drink. Yes. most down home, Bogan bitch drink. Yes. And I think it is in a short glass, just exceptional. You know, it's kind of like a great, cause you know how drag queen will always go vodka, Red Bull?

Of course. You know, it's like the drag queen drink of DOA. Vodka Red Bull. Vodka Red Bull. Really? Yeah. OK. But I think it's a good alternative

if you need like a bit of a caffeine hit. You do it. Jack and Coke. That's really nice. Let's get a Jack and Coke. Got a Jack and Coke. Do you know what Mandy Moob's does when she's in drag and drinking that I discovered on

tour? No. She doesn't get beverages. She just gets shots. Oh. She's like, can I get a shot of tequila? Like, do you want to chase her? And she's like, probably another shot of tequila.

She's like, can't spare the space. Just give me more. And like, I think on to a, on our night in Sydney, she might have put away ten shots of tequila. Wow. And didn't drink anything else. I guess the corsetry factor, that's a good point. It's a great point. On Thursday night at Indeed, our improv, I like had, I don't know,

like maybe one or two cokes, but I was like, Oh God, can't keep drinking. Cause I'm wearing this full body suit. So there was a point where I went to go to the bathroom. Cause I was like, Oh, there's such easy access. I'm barely wearing anything. And then I got to the bathroom. It was like, what? I'm wearing everything. Yes. Um, yeah. So then I stopped drinking. I wish I could say the same thing. I think a shot of Coke is quite the vibe. Yeah, perhaps you could have a shot of the sugar syrup they use to mix up.

What do you think they would say at a bar if you were like, can I just get a shot of Coke? Can I get a solo shot? No, the lemonade solo. Coke concentrate please. Give me the syrup. Or just, please. Give me the syrup. Or just no, just a carbonated version. Just like from the Postmix tab. I think they'd say you're a delight. Come back anytime. Can I get a shot of lemonade? Come on. I want to drink with the gals. I want to dance to me. So, okay. What do you think? Coke? Okay, this is the last thing I'm gonna say.

DC girls, DC girlies, hot women, bleach blonde hair, wandering around, living their chic ass life, drinking only Diet Coke and smoking Marlboro Slims. Does that do anything for you? Chic woman, Marlboro Slim. Yeah. Diet Coke. Yeah, I mean that sounds... Chic woman. Fine. No, fine. Are you describing a particular woman? I'm describing a way of life. I see. I'm a hot model. It's the 90s. Carl Lagerfeld just called me a cunt. Uh-huh. I'm going out to have a cigarette. Mm-hmm. And a Diet Coke. A Diet Coke. I mean, yeah, that's fine.

I do like silver. That's silver? That can? Yeah, the can is... Sofia Vergara? Being the Diet Coke girl? Really? Yeah, she did those ads before she was like famous. Just modern. Which was just a model. Um that's fun. I do like that. But all of those divas that had EDs and they were just DC, ED, smoking for free. What DC? Diet coke. Oh. Can I get a DC? Diet Coke. Oh my God. Can I get a DC? Got it. Incredible. Yeah. Come on.

I mean, yeah. You don't like it? I find it interesting, like, why in a world where we have DC, do we have Coke Zero? Well, one tastes like Coke. The other one is DC. But it's all Coke. No, because DC tastes different. Yeah, but like what?

Because DC was before they developed the better artificial sweeteners. Can you still get DC? Well, it's kind of going extinct. But there is like a DC loyalist that like will ride or die for DC. And to me, like a chic woman, bleach blonde hair, smoking a Marlboro light with a DC in her convertible red.

Do they have diet vanilla? Yeah, they do. Well then that's what we should put. You can get, when I go down the aisle, you can get Coke, no sugar, no caffeine. That's a really ugly label. It's a really ugly label. Do you remember when they used to have Coke Zero? Yes. They don't have that anymore.

No, it's just Coke, no sugar. But they're different. They are different. Yeah. Okay. So when they used to have Coke Zero, my friend Tristan, that was all he drank. Coke Zero. Coke Zero, not Coke, no sugar, which he insists tastes completely different.

But he was such a zero head that when we cleaned out his bed one time and there was maybe 10 1.25 liter bottles of Coke Zero that he would just take to bed and drink in bed. Oh no. Yeah. That's just too steamy. Just wake up, cigarette, Coke Zero bottle. The only liquid I can have next to my bed is water.

And your laptop, of course. Laptop. Oh, it's not a liquid. That's just an object. Yes. Which I hide under your bed. But like, I've thought of drinking anything else in bed. No, I wouldn't even have like. What, a milkshake?

You wouldn't have that? No, although I wouldn't. What about a bucket of Coke? No, no Coke in bed. What have you, what's the like grubbiest thing you've just sat in bed? Sometimes I've like eaten like a carrot in the shower. It makes me like.

What? Wait, what? Why are you storing a carrot in the shower. It makes me like... What? Why are you storing your carrots in the shower? No, because like sometimes you have to have a snack. Does that keep them fresher? And sometimes you also need to be having a shower right now. And thankfully the shower isn't going to wash away part of the carrot. Like if you were eating a sandwich. Not that I would ever make a sandwich, of course.

But a carrot is a great option or snack for the shower. Hey, pink. I'm so confused. But anyway, my point is you'd never eaten your bed. No, although I would never eat a milkshake in bed, but I would eat a carrot in the shower. Drink a milkshake. Water for bed. Water.

That's not crazy. No, of course I would, you know, like occasionally though, we do treat ourselves by having like Water for bed. Water! That is so crazy. No, of course I would, you know, like occasionally though we do treat ourselves by having like a meal in bed. Meal in bed. Yeah. Yeah, like a burger in bed or like some chips. Yeah, like that's quite satisfying but I would not normally allow that behaviour.

Don't think I would ever eat in bed. Or like a pack of lollies. Yeah, like if you get- I wouldn't even like snack. You get home and you're like, I need to have some like disgusting Mexican food. Um, and not that Mexican food is disgusting, but this particular site that I'm thinking of is disgusting. And you sit in bed and you put down a towel and you just eat that fucking shit.

I can't. No. No way. I didn't know this about you. Yeah, I don't think I knew this about myself, but I never do that. What about if you were on a date? Not a smart, a singular tic tac? No. Tic tac. You have a whole lounge room, I guess. Well, that's the thing. Living by yourself. I'm like, I can do the eating in the other room. I'm like, I can do the eating in the other room. Yeah.

Yeah. So, well, the, yeah. Oh yeah. Diet vanilla coke? Diet vanilla coke. Hmm. What do we think? Okay.

I don't mind your disgusting post-mix bucket of coke. Uh-huh. But I don't think there's like, there's not a chic woman attached to the mythology of your disgusting post-mix bucket of coke. But I don't think there's like, there's not a chic woman attached to the mythology of that. You don't think? Who? Give me like the woman that's having the- She like, she goes to the cinema and has the small,

she gets small, but like small coke and small popcorn because that's what you get. The gargantuan. Yeah. And her hot boyfriend gets the gargantuan sass. Her hot boyfriend. Yeah. It's the accessory of the accessory.

He got an accessory too. Yeah. Amazing. Gigantic coke. Gigantic. Does he share it with them? Well, she'll like ask for a sip and be like... Yeah. She's always doing this.

Yeah. If you want one, you could just get one. But, um... It hasn't worked out in the past where a version of her has had too much. That's the end. But if she just has a sip, he'll allow it. Mm-hmm. Yeah, he's kind of a douchebag.

But he's hot. Obviously. Yeah. Okay. But we can't hold the Coke, like we can't hold that against the Coke. Do you know what my woman, Diet Coke woman, would say to your woman? Uh-uh. She'd be like, dear charm.

True. And then she'd ride off in her red Ferrari with a drop top. Yeah, whereas my woman is like, her personality is tied to how hot her boyfriend is. Yeah. Sadly. And she'd be like, this couple are so gross. I'm going to go and get a colonic. I'm getting a colonic irrigation today.

Fuck off. I don't have time for movies. I've got ADHD. That's why I eat Percocet for breakfast. Get me a DC, you little cunt. I don't think this woman ever existed. She did. Is this Vogue Italia? Tell me, I only want to read Vogue Italia.

You know? What are those huffing sounds? That's her smoking a cigarette. Marlboro Slim's in a D. Is this DC? No. I don't want no sugar, you little cunt. I want Vogue Italia in a DC. Okay. You know? know yeah she wouldn't be caught dead at a cinema so what yeah shall we put in the bunker wait what what Cola that woman obviously yeah we can put in that woman. Do I want her there? I could see it.

We probably need more smokers in the bunker. Yeah, Gwyneth needs someone to bum one off at the end of the night. Red juice. Um, G.C. woman. G.C. woman. You know what is horrific is like the two liter like in your house coke bottle Yeah, that's I'll say that's too much. That's too much. Even if you have a family of six

I feel like coke bottles used to be bigger though. Huh? I feel like there was like a like a real girthy phase for coke. Mm-hmm And now it feels like it's only the one point too far as I see around. I also, I will say growing up, we used to have cans in the fridge and you're allowed one can a day. And there was like, I don't know what the brand was. It had like an A with stars on it. Yes. What was that? Yes. And, oh my God. Right.

That's an Australian Coke brand. Okay. Yes. So we had that brand of cans and there was like, I think there was like blue for lemonade, yellow for solo and red for cola. And that was like the predominant cola in my life as a child. Yeah. Um, or like as a teenager, we weren't really having cola as children. But anyway, I just wanted to say that.

Obviously not that dank, awful. But yeah, I mean, as my gift to the bunker, I wish upon them a full strength Coke from the cinema. But I also don't care enough to fight your, yes, that can. Okay, the can is called Australia's Choice, and it's got a big A and a C on it, and then a Southern Cross.

Wow. Okay. But that is such an iconic looking ass can. It looks so much like the Coke can, but just a little bit skewed. Orange Crush. Wow. Are they defunct now? I don't know. It looks so much like the Coke can, but just a little bit skewed. Oh, orange crush. Wow. Are they defunct now?

I don't know. And they also did that choc chip cookie called the decadent. Have you had those Kukaburra cookies? Yes, they're so good. What about gummy cola gummy? Oh, the little bottle. I fucking hate that. No, what about when you twist off the top

and you pretend to drink it? No. You look... I don't like that. If I was going to pretend to drink something, I would pretend to eat one of those. I was going to pretend to drink something. What pretend to drink something

is getting in the bunker today? No, I would have like one of those like tutti or whatever. What are they? Tutti? Tutti? Like those... Tutti?

Gummy hamburgers. Oh, yeah, you're right. Or like the gummy pizza or whatever. I've never seen you eat one of those. Well, I'm not really one for candies, but... Yeah, but you know what? In an all sorted like bag, what's the best bit? Is it I'm twisting off the coke bottle or I'm putting in the fake dentures?

Or I'm ripping off the head of the gummy bear. Or am I discussing how do these bananas give you cancer? Do you think? I love those bananas. Those bananas are quite good. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I hate those little bottles.

I think they're such a relief. They're actually such a, they're important to that kind of makeup of things, because everything else in there is so rich, like strawberries and cream. But that little Coke bottle is such a little reprieve. It's such a palate cleanser. Palate cleanser. Shut up.

No, I'm just contemplating what you're saying. You know what? If I don't have my DC on my desk tomorrow morning, I'm going to fucking kill myself. So what's your pitch? What do you want? I want that woman. Okay.

Yelling at it, but she doesn't have a DC. No, no DC. That's how everyone learns about DC. Yes. And then she- Instead of getting a flake shake. She gets it as Shirley's choice. Oh.

She would hate. You know what? You go to Reggie's and you're like, hey, can I just get a Coke? And they're like, oh, we don't have Coke. We've got Australia's Choice Cola. We've got Orange Crush, Australia's Choice. Yeah. Okay. Okay. I fucking love that. And what's her name? You know what? That's none of your fucking business, man.

Okay. I don't know when she became so... That's actually, you know, whatever. She's really bent out of shape. Yeah, well, you know what? She doesn't have a DC. And with that, we'll be right back. Hello, listener, and welcome back. Suleignor to you all.

It is now time for the next category. But like that. And the category is, which rock gets into the bunker? Yeah. Okay. This is one that we've obviously held onto for quite a while. Well, by some weird twist of fate, this is your suggestion.

Yeah. Yeah. I love rock. Okay. Okay. Yeah. So it sounds like you started the episode by telling us, I really want to get some rocks.

Yes. Yeah. Tell us about that. Oh, wow. I mean. What are you looking for in an ideal rock? Okay, so it needs to match the other rocks, which are split-

Volcanic? Blue stone. Blue stone. Melbourne's favourite stone. Yes. So some more of that. Defining the look of the Melbourne streets. The humble blue stone became the cornerstone, if you will, of the Australian Victorian identity. Thank you, David. David, hope well. Yeah. Yeah. So that's what I'm looking for in that particular garden, but that's just because it was predestined by the other stones in the garden. But I like that. Can't you hunt for stones

in your backyard, dig a little hole? I have, but I found enough to, but yeah, and I found enough to do one part of the garden bed, but the other part is just too long. Like I've only got, like the, I'd probably need about three meters length and I've got half a meter left. Well, why don't you go and dig a little hole somewhere? No, there's no more. I've got them all. In the quarry, go down the quarry. What about when you're digging up the lawn? I am all. I got them all. What do you mean you got them all? There's no more rocks.

You live on a hill, it's all rock. I can't be excavated in my rental backyard, you know? They'll never know. Be like the tunnel woman. Listener, if you're my next door neighbor, are you also aware that the fence is falling down? Because I feel like that's more of a you problem than a me problem. Is it falling down on your side?

Yeah. Because they're grandiose. I don't know. Family life is imposing on my crossy life in more ways than just the fence. Well, does it bother you or do you? No, it does because the other fence is really nice and quite new. But does it bother you in a way that's like more than aesthetic? Like, does it affect you? Emotionally? Yeah. But does it bother you in a way that's like more than aesthetic? Like, does it affect you emotionally?

Yeah. How does it affect you? Well, because it's falling apart. And I don't know how it affects the fence, but how does it affect you? No, that falling apart makes me feel like I too am falling apart. You believe the fence is a reflection on you? Well, I don't know. But also speaking of rocks, actually, I can take a photo of this,

but there's a hole in the fence and the neighbors put a large rock in the hole to stop their dog from entering my yard. So you think the fence falling down would really begin to damage their life? Yes. Well, then you know how to make them fix the fence. Yeah, I know. But just pull it down even more and let the dog get lost. The dog is really old.

I have lived there for a year now and I didn't know they had a dog until like month four. The dog's very old and quiet, but every now and then I do indeed see it. Are you excited for when they, that dog dies and they get a new one and it's really loud? I don't, I hadn't thought about that. It's going to happen. Yeah. I mean, I hadn't thought about that. It's gonna happen. Yeah. I mean, I'd love to know that the dog was there a bit more. I hear a bark maybe once a month.

That's weird. That's a great amount of time to hear a bark from a dog. But even then it's just like, woof! Yeah. That's it. Yeah, great. I think more people need to get those collars that tell dogs to shut the fuck up. Or like Brenda's,'s little dial that emits a frequency that hurts dog's ears.

Yes. Oof, that's good. Brenda Breast has shoe dogs and she has this fabulous little box, but she just now needs to hold it up and the dogs know what's up. She doesn't even have to turn it on. They're like, ah, it's the dogs know what's up. She doesn't even have to turn it on. They're like, ah, it's the sound box. Love it. And Brenda's dog's names are Chucky and Dolly. And Dolly, except I keep thinking Dolly's name is Princess. Princess. Princess. Chucky. Anyway, neither of those are stones. Um.

Do you know who has a clear perspective on this, I believe? Matt Shiz. What? Matt? What? Favorite rock. Hmm. You sandstone girl? I do like sandstone. I bet you do.

You like sandstone? Oh, Matt. What's wrong with that? It's so ugly. It was a trap. Yeah. I like sandstone. Listen, okay, I like marble and I like quartz, but I don't like marble benchtops and I don't like quartz benchtops.

No, I don't like those either. Yeah. I like them as rocks, but not as... Have I told you about my aspiration in life? To be happy. Is I would love even in my current house, but anywhere to have a boulder. Yeah, I just want a giant boulder. How big? Like taller than you?

In the garden or in the house? In the house. Like as your coffee table or just in the house? Well, like it would be in the place where you would normally put a coffee table. However, it wouldn't have a flat surface on which to put your coffee. Amazing. It would be a big, probably up to my shoulder height and really big and round. Yeah.

And just an absolute inconvenience. And it would have, it might be sitting in like a small tray. Uh-huh. So that if water were to run down it when I grew moss on it. Of course. And perhaps a tiny little fern, but only one, then it would catch in some sort of little bowl. But I just would love a boulder. I love that. Just a touch. Yeah. That, I fully support that.

What? That'd be so good. That's amazing. You know, like when you go to like a gallery in, I don't know, Nauschema or something. Yeah. And like there's that in every room. Yes. That's so hot.

There was one in the Guggenheim, I think it was the Guggenheim, but it was like you go up a staircase and there's just a boulder and you're like, how did this get here? And it's like above our heads and then into the next room in a way that just like feels impossible that they could have gotten it through and inside. Yes. Also when people build their houses

around a giant boulder or a big rock. Yes. And then it's inside. I love that. And you just touch the rock and go. Yeah, I'd love a giant boulder. Granite. Granite's good.

That's hot. A granite boulder in your house. Yeah, with a little bit of moss and lichen. Yes. Yeah. Oh, what a fantasy. I know. When I'm rich.

Yeah. I'll be able to afford that boulder, uh, when I have set up aquariums for the longest, like my whole life, I've always had my whole life, like wood, like as the base of the scenic feature. Yeah. But when I reset up in the new house, I indeed bought some rocks. I bought Dragonstone to have in them. Cause I was like, maybe I should try it. Like I've had bits of slate before perhaps, but, um, how do you define

Dragonstone? Like what's its attributes? Ooh, it's very craggy. It's kind of like reddish, whitish, brownish, and like lots of, yeah, like little crevices and dippity things. And round, not sharp. No, no, no.

Rounded. Rounded, but not like round, like a pebble. Like still quite, you know, striking. Like not polished pebble, but like, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Like a shard of a dragon's tooth, perhaps. Okay. Quite cool. striking but like yeah yeah like a shard of a dragon's tooth perhaps okay um quite cool but i just don't know how i feel about it i look at that rock in that in my goldfish tank every day

and i'm like but imagine if it was a piece of wood i think that would bring me more joy well that's i mean i'm glad you brought it up but i've been thinking about myself about that rock no i actually don't care i just can't believe you host Goldfish. They're just so pedestrian. I love Goldfish. No, I want you to have a cool fish. But I am evolving that tank. I'm ready for them to go.

Yeah. They can leave. I think I want to get a pond. I want to move them to the pond. Okay. I would support you having a pond. Like an outdoor pond. Yeah, I'm okay with that.

I just think I want to see like fabulous, you know, cause Zelda is such a high benchmark originally because her tank used to host the most like neon, you know, orange little shrimp. Yes. And they were so incredible. And I was like, I've never seen that before in a domestic fish tank. And then suddenly I'm like years into this friendship and she's like, have you seen my goldfish? And I'm like, Yeah, I'm turning it back. Don't worry. I'm getting back on track.

As Belinda would say. That's right. Um, so yeah, not the stone that's in my aquarium. It's too cold. It's not wood. That's my main issue with it. Fossilized wood, however, that's a good stone. Oh true. I mean, we do have great stone in the form of volcanic ash that goes into the Pompeii room. That's true. Yeah, that is true. Yeah. Well, what about the rock? Dwayne the rock? Yeah. Do you like that? I like, I have no reason not to like it, but obviously I don't like it.

Like I have no reason not to like it, but obviously I don't like it. Like I don't like that. I don't like Dave Bautista. I like Dave. Like I don't like, I don't like, I don't like the fast and furious bold man. Like what is that genre? Do you not like Vin Diesel? That's the one. Do you like Pitch Black? What's the one. Do you like Pitch Black?

What's that? Like Chronicles of Riddick? I don't. Baby, you can't read. You should watch Pitch Black and then Chronicles of Riddick and then tell me, because it's like fun sci-fi. Yeah, I think that's actually up your alley. Chronicles of Riddick?

Yeah. Sci-fi He's like Riddick the sci-fi guy and in pitch black. He can it's based on a comic. I'm pretty sure isn't Ridic oh No It's fun, but like we're getting a tank top in outer space. No, it makes sense space prison Alien 3 that's all the space prison I need. Yeah. Now, yeah, so I don't know.

I don't know about the genre of man. Well, you haven't watched Fast and Furious either. No. Well, they're good. You do enjoy them. Fast X, take me there. You know, that Charlie Puth song? It's been a long day without you my friend.

I'll tell you all about it when I see you again. Who? Charlie Puth. The Rock. Anyway, he's, yeah. Do you know, I think I'm, I agree. There's soft Republican vibes coming off him. There's a little bit of like,

I think we've just had too much of the rock. It's always a delight to learn that a man like that can act or like give a performance that's charismatic and interesting and fun. And then suddenly he was like in every film and I shared nothing. And you know what? Sylvester Stallone, like disappeared or whatever. Yeah.

To my radar. Well, he's one of the four Hollywood ambassadors to Trump's White House. Really? Is he not? Whatever. Yeah, he is, yeah. So he's disappeared. Then the other one.

Arnold? No, I'm kidding, Donald. Oh. There's the, oh, Van Damme. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Jean-Claude Van Damme. Yeah. Who has also disappeared. But like the action films in like the eighties certainly had elements of camp, right?

Yeah. That they were a part of like, like he's wearing a headband for fuck's sake. He's wearing a headband. Like fruity. And then Arnold, occasionally he's pregnant. Fruity. And then Arnold, occasionally he's pregnant. Like occasionally he's mayor.

Like Arnold, occasionally he has a pet donkey. Like he's more than just like being a big muscly guy. Yeah. But what is The Rock and the other one you said, doing other than being the action star. Like they don't seem to like, other than being God help me comedians, which I'm not laughing. Moana? The Rock does. Yeah. He does lots of, he does the Tooth Fairy. That was the other one, wasn't it? That was Vin Diesel.

Wasn't it? Oh no, maybe that was. Maybe that was. Maybe it's the same like. Batista. Joy from them that I saw from those others. Well, Batista did knock at the cabin and guardians the game. Yeah, see, I should like Batistas.

He's good. But I just don't know. He seems lovely. He does, but I don't know. So... Okay, well... And therefore the rock is painted by all of those and that's not the rock that I want. What about salt lamps? Salt lamps are not in the bunker.

I like salt lamps. How many salt lamps do you have, Matt? I don't have any. That's so weird. That's what you can get for my birthday. Wait, when is your birthday? Today. No, no, you know on my birthday, I told you last time. It's not today.

Let's see. Just refresh the listener, won't you? No, they know. Oh my God. Just refresh the listener, won't you? No, they know. Oh my God. If it's today, we're going to go straight to Ishka and get you that lamp. Do you think this is what I'd do for my birthday? Yeah. I'm not that sort of person.

I've got more of a life than that. More life than this, driving our space car through time and space? Yeah, we should turn the back seat. Well, OK, I love doing it. It's it's what I would choose to do for my birthday. There you go. Now we're back on track. But which will take you to Luna Park? Rock. Would you like for your birthday?

Is salt a rock? Yeah. It's a luteified salt. A salt rock is. But like is salt a rock? Yeah. Solidified salt. A salt rock is. But like is salt, like when... Not salt by itself. You know what rocks isn't getting in? Is those fucking jagged rocks that you're like stepping on on the beach. Yeah.

You think you're on sand and it's actually a rock. Or worse, you know you're going on rocks because you're going to look at an enemy's in a fucking pool. Put your finger in them. What about precious stones? Are they part of this? Yes. Well, obviously tumbled, tumbled crystals and stuff.

Yeah, we'll get there. But you know, the rocks at the beach that cut you open. It's like, haven't you been buffered by a thousand years of sand and water? That's why can't you be softened? England is crazy. That's insane. What do you mean Englandened? England is crazy. That's insane. What do you mean England is crazy? Instead they've been sharpened into the lace.

They have the most disgusting beaches where they're all just pebbly beaches. Oh, they don't have sand. Yeah. You're like, what has happened here? Do you think that kelp grows faster than bamboo? Yes. Right? Certainly.

Cause I said that as fact at the Flower and garden show, but I hadn't fact checked, but I'm pretty sure you didn't check that they'd. No, no, no, no, no, no. I asked what's the fastest growing plant on earth. And then I was like, but, but, but I mean land plant, not ocean plant, because kelp will grow quicker than anything. But I didn't fact check that. I think, yeah, I think I heard that on David Anber one time that kelp grows like five meters a day or something.

Five meters a day. Don't be ridiculous. That's absolutely ridiculous. Okay. Anyway, rock, rock, rock, rock, rock. I mean, like, listen, I love rocks. Obviously love rocks. I love quarries. I love giant things. Anyway, you, what about the, isn't there like the whale rock at Wilson's prom? There is. I love that rock. I love that rock. On squeaky beach. Oh no, it's on tidal river.

Whichever, whatever. I want to go to Wilson's prom. Can we go? I'll just go now. All right. It's Matt's birthday though. He'll? I'll just go now. All right. It's Matt's birthday though. He'll love to do that.

Matt, can you hold this? Lazy and I are going to go swimming. I'll do some filming. Yes. Filming. Creep. At the camcorder for our memory bank. The medium is not the issue.

What do you think about throwing rocks into the water skipping them? Skimming when you find that perfectly round stone. Yeah circle shape over rhinestone. Yeah rhinestones are good What do you think SS 3 SS 10 SS 11 SS 22? What are they? What size of rhinestone do you like? I like... Small.

Yeah, do you know what? I like small, but I was watching some patronizing man on fucking TikTok talk about how nothing under SS22 shows up on camera. And he's like, you gotta get the big honking landstones, the ones that look cheap as shit. Are they actual stones or now they're just plastic? Well, glass, if you're doing it right. Right. It's so sad how like the littlest bit of gram on top will dull the shang.

Well, it do be like that. It's like that sucks. And not a problem that traditional rocks face. Well, that's the great thing about rocks. They're already just, you know, they kind of shit. They're already grammy. It adds to their character. Well, that's the thing. I like that. You want to live that life. You want to be a rock, not a diamond.

Rock, not a diamond. Emma Frost was just added into Marvel rivals, don't you know? She can turn into Diamond Form. Didn't you just get off one of these games? But she can't use her psychic powers while in Diamond Form. What Avengers game were you playing? Marvel Avengers? What?

You got off some mobile game. Got off? Oh, that horrendous Marvel phone game. We saved you from that. What was that called? I can't even remember. You can't even remember the name. How good is that?ous Marvel phone game. We saved you from that. What was that called? I can't even remember. You can't even remember the name. How good is that?

You played that game. I played that game every day for like years. Years. And you can't remember the name of the game. I can't even remember what it was called. Did you have an intervention? No, I just, I woke up to myself. You woke up.

And now you're getting sucked into another one. Nah, I'm not sucked in. I'm Emma Frost. She does well under pressure. Ha ha. Because she turns into diamond. Do you want Emma Frost? As the, in diamond form?

Yeah. Yeah, I do. Okay, let's do that. Yes! So I'm getting into the bunker. It's January Jones playing Emma Frost in diamond form. Yes! Oh, we'll be right back. Hello and welcome back. Hello.

Oh, that's really cheered you up. Yes. Well, Rebecca was so lonely down there. Okay, so our final topic for discussion today. Oh, that is so good. Which fictional musician is going into the bunker? Which fictional musician? And no listener, I wouldn't class the T-Rex baby as a singer.

I know that you might. She does make a beautiful song. She does. Okay, Matt, you're a musician. Yeah. You love some fictional musicians. Like the entire soundtrack of A Brother Where Art Thou? That's true. Soggy Bottom Boys. Soggy Bottom Boys? Do you have any other big fictional

musicians you'd like to call into? The Gorillaz? Is that what we mean? Gorillaz? Fictional. That's a good one. They're real. That's good. Yeah. They're, they're a made up band. They're like a cartoon band. Yeah, but they're a real band. Well, they have real music. Do you mean like, I mean, like Josie and the Pussycats. Oh, or Dazzler. Gorillaz I think is a exception to the rule in this category.

I think Gorillaz is part. Okay. Well, we'll allow it. I'm going to allow it. Yeah. What about like the band? The band School of Rock? Yeah, band School of Rock, great choice.

Do you not like that? No, I don't like that. You know. That's a great band. Chalo, you got a bass. Jack Black? I love Jack Black. That fuck off. What do you mean?

Are you going to go watch Minecraft? Maybe. Ew. I think Jack Black is one of the few Eww. Charismatic people left in Hollywood. I just think he's so unproblematic, has just managed to make it through like 20 year career in Hollywood without any major things coming up

in like Jack Black was creepy to me or whatever. He just seems like a nice guy and he's got a great voice. He should have been cast in Into the Woods as the Baker. And yeah, I just am like, I can't believe, you know, we need to do more with Jack Black. I think he's so good. More? Like more like interesting stuff with Jack Black because I think he's so good in like high

fidelity and stuff like that. Yeah, the 90s and early 2000s Jack Black was good. I think now he's just on the franchise ride. Yeah, yeah. I just... And Him and School of Rock written by Mike White, creator of White Lotus with Joan Cusack. That was a great movie. Love School of Rock.

Oh my god. Miranda Cosgrove. This is my nightmare. What do you mean? What's to not like about School of Rock? No. They're a school of rock. What about like Banjo?

Okay, go on. He plays Banjo and his friend Kazooie plays Kazooie. And Tootie, their sister, what does Tootie play? God, I can't remember. I think she plays Triangle. Are they in a band? Yeah, at the start of Banjo Kazooie. What's the name of the band?

What? What's the name of the band? We don't get, not everything has to be spelled out for you. Okay. You know, some things that left a mystery. Okay. Um. Okay, what about that girl in Trapped? M. Night Shyamalan's daughter playing Lady Raven. Trapped. Oh, is that the movie that he did? Josh Hutchinson. Yeah. He's taking his daughter you want to see Lady Raven? Lady Raven. Lady Raven. Do you not see Tramp?

Tramp. No, I didn't see that one. That was fun. No. She played like a Taylor Swift Lady Gaga. Oh, no, I do know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah. Wasn't that Josh Hart in it?

Yeah. Yeah. I do know what you're talking about, but I didn't see that. I saw the trailer for that. Was it good? It was great. She looked fun. What a fun time.

Lady Raven, a famous singer who Riley adores. Amazing. Um, just to recap, the village, there wasn't any scary creatures. No, it was the elders of the village. Just being, yeah. Making sure that they kept in line. Well, that's not very fun. That is a great twist.

I wish there was big scary creatures. Spoiler alert. No, it's better old men in weird outfits that they've made themselves. And then, because they are keeping the secret that they're actually in modern days. Yes, that's fun. Yeah, that's why they have to... it explains why there's creepy monsters. You know? Yeah.

Well, none of those are musicians, so I don't know why he brought it up. Okay, but what about, you know, obviously your favorite old mate, you know? Hello again, friend of a friend. What are they called? Something it, something. The Clash at Demonhead. Clash at Demonhead. You like them? I do like them.

From Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. Brie. Sex Bob-Omb. And Sex Bob-Omb. Sex Bob-Omb. Yes. We're here to, anyway. Lindsay Lohan singing at the end of Parent Trap as her character.

Oh, not Parent Trap. Is that right? Not Parent Trap. Freaky Friday. Are you Friday? Are you? Are you Friday? Are you? I'm Freakier Friday. Are you excited for the Freakier Friday? Is it? That film looks like absolute trash.

It why does it look like that? Because why does it look like a movie? It was made for TV. Ew. Which I'm like, why would you get Oscar winner Jamie Lee Curtis and future Oscar winner Lindsay Lohan and a film and not make it a fucking feature presentation? Yeah. That's weird.

But why would you make a made for TV film that looked like a TV show? Why not just make it look like a film? Well, money. But like, okay. So the question is, is that true? Isn't one camera on this setting? How could it be so much more expensive than this camera on this setting? Cause, um, it's just a different type of camera.

I mean, generally also it just takes a lot more to make something look cinematic. Ew. What? Invest. Isn't it like Disney or something? Yeah, but they have different buckets of money that they're pulling from. Okay, well my favorite actual, like a film that I watched so much as a kid was That Thing You Do, Tom Hanks' film.

And it's about a 50s band that gets famous and they're like a one hit wonder called the O'Needers, the Wonders. And they have a song called That Thing You Do. And Liv Tyler plays the girlfriend of one of the guys in the band. And when I was a kid I was so obsessed because she finds out that he's cheating on her. And then she does this like crying scene where she like looks at

him and she's like, I'm just, I can't believe I wasted all my time with you. Every wasted kiss and every wasted smile. And like she's crying and then she walks out and I was like, that's the woman I want to be. And then there's also the scene where it's like playing the song on the radio for the first time and she's walking down the street and she licks a stamp and puts her mail in and then she's listening to the radio

and then the song comes on and she screams and throws all the letters in the air and then she runs down the street to where a friend works and they turn on all the radios in the store and they're like, and Liv Tyler is just incredible. She's not in the band though. I love Liv Tyler. Yeah. So I was brave and I Google searched fictional musicians just as backup. Yeah.

I got more to say, but just as backup. And third on the list is Prince. What was that about? All that makes anyway, what else am I going to say? Um, Hannah Montana. Well, that's it. Is she a real musician in the show? No, she's just in the show. She's in the show, but she released music in the real world and she toured as Hannah Montana. True.

Yeah. God, I don't know how she kept that secret. It just is. High school is hard, no. What do you think about Dazzler from the X-Men? What songs? Sing me a Dazzler. What songs? Yeah. What songs? Sing me a Dazzler song. It's not like...

Darling. We don't need everything rammed down our throats, you know? This is Banjo and Kazooie all over you. But Dazzler is pretty hard. Her mutant power is to like... She? Yeah. Dazzler is a boy's name.

Dazzler? Dazz. Dazz. Dazzer. I'm not saying Dazzer. Dazzer. Ahem. But she like converts sound into light. So like she's built to be a pop star because when she sings...

What pop songs does she put out? Do you have a song? She's not Hatsune Miku, you know? Like, comic books don't come with a cassette. Why not? Well, that's actually a good point. I wonder if that ever happened. It should have happened.

That would be so fun. But there was a big rumor that fucking Taylor Swift was gonna play Dazzler in Deadpool and Wolverine, which thankfully never came to pass. I think that that's fine. But I just think that she probably deserves a better. However, the classic Dazzler look, I think is super ugly. I actually hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate it.

She had like faces all covered in like blue makeup is just awful. But like other versions of Dazzler is quite good. But anyway, so not Dazzler. Did you ever see that film, Jennifer's Body? No. You should watch it, I think you'd like it. But there is a fake band in that.

It's like based off classic, like 2000s, like indie boy bands. Oh yeah. And the kind of opening, can I destroy the opening for you? Yeah. Is that they are playing this like shithole town where like our protagonist lives called Mercury and they abduct Megan Fox that night who's like a school girl and they sacrifice her to the devil but because she's a virgin because but then because she isn't a virgin it all goes wrong

and their sacrifice is rejected and the devil goes into Megan Fox. Oh, he is a virgin. Who's not a virgin, which is why it went wrong. And so then she becomes like a demon who starts eating boys. Um, but that they have a fake song in that movie. That's fun. Yeah. And they have a fake song that like they become like really famous for. And it's such a good fake boy band song of the...

Like the Sanderson Sisters? Well, that's right. They did like... Which one is the real banger? I Put A Spell On You or Come Little Children? I Put A Spell On You. Well, that's more of a cover. Whereas... children, I'll take thee our way into a land of enchantment. Et cetera. That's quite good. That is good. I also love being a witch on a broomstick flying around a town and tricking children.

That is your aesthetic. Yeah. What do you think about that film Music and Lyrics with Drew Barrymore and Hugh Grant, where Drew Barrymore is a songwriter and Hugh Grant is a former boy band star. Did you see today that Drew Barrymore said that she's bisexual? We've known Drew Barrymore is bisexual. She's always been out. It was news to me.

I just listen to women when they speak. I always, like, if I'm thinking of Drew Barrymore, the version of her that is like what would be in heaven is like the version of her from Donnie Darko that like Vague English teacher or whatever. Yeah, I do love dark lipstick drew Barrymore. She's so cool Riding in cars with boys drew Barrymore is really good, too. Anyway, no, I haven't seen whatever it is you said anyway There's a great fake pop star in that that does a song called Buddha's Delight because she's gotten really into meditation Buddha's Delight And I listened to that so much. But yeah, Joseph and the Pussycats is obviously incredible.

Oh yeah. What's your favourite part of Joseph and the Pussycats? The cats? Wrong. You've never seen it, have you? What about... Did you know that the B-52s did the theme song to Rockers Modern Life? That's incredible. Is that a fictional band?

I mean it should be. How hot is that? That film, that show is so intense. I love it, but it's so intense. I yeah, it would be quite interesting to watch an episode of that as an adult. It's crazy. The animation is so wild. All those hideous toads.

Yeah. Rocko. Oh, Ed. Oh, Rocko, you're so beautiful. Eww. And the heifer? Oh, hey, Rocko. That guy.

And how do Rocko? Oh, hey, guys. How you doing? Eww. Oh, my God. Um, I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Oh hey guys, how you doing? Oh my god. Anyone else? A musician on screen? Fiction on me, someone's screaming at their phone right now. I mean obviously Sheik playing harp in Legend of Zelda. What song does she do? Well she can do them all. No go on.

Well she can do... Come on. Um... Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding

No, I'm trying to think of all the names. Bolero of Fire. That's the one she teacheses you. Bolero of Fire? Yeah. Is she into Boleros? Boleros, is that how you pronounce it? Matt?

Bolero girls? Because I know Bolero is a piece of clothing, but it's spelled similarly. Oh God. Anyway, she plays them all. He plays them all. Oh my God. I can't even actually. What?

So because it is revealed at the end of the game that Zelda- Tears of the Kingdom. Magically transformed into Sheik. Uh-huh. And there is like lines of dialogue where like Sheik is referred to as a man, uh-huh. And like different skin complexion, different hair colour, different eye colour to Zelda. Uh-huh. It's like a magical transformation into this male character of a deceased, like,

like culture of people, the Sheikah. And like that's that. But then it became this whole thing where it's like, ah, Sheikah's a woman, cause Sheikah's actually Zelda. And da da da da. And there's just forever been this like, discussion online about it.

And it's so boring and stupid. Japan loves to fuck with like the West. And in Smash Brothers merely, it was very clear that Sheik was still male Sheik from Ocarina of Time. But then for every Smash Brothers since, Sheik got big knockers and a cut and T little tight waist and was turned into female version of Sheik. Which till I say, no thank you. Wasn't there versions, oh god I can't believe it, wasn't there versions where Zelda was just in disguise as Sheik? Yeah, you could magically transform into Sheik with Down B, your special Down B.

There was iterations where it wasn't magic? Well then after Melee they were separate characters. Right. No, I mean in the game. Oh, Sheik is only in Ocarina of Time. Right. That's the only game that he's in. Interesting. Anyway, isn't that annoying? God, Sheik takes up a lot of real estate for someone who's only in one game.

Yes. People love that character. So cool. Mysterious, plays the harp, great musician. What about Link playing the ocarina of time? I guess so. That's true. Can you play any of the hits?

Any of the hits. I think there needs to be some mentions of the old ones, like Sparnell Tapp, Blue's Brothers. Yep, the family, the kids from Mighty Wind. Yeah, it's- What? I don't think they're contenders for the modern bunker. What about Ali? From what?

Ali, A Star is Born. A Star is Born? Yeah. Oh, with the Lady Gaga? Yeah. I'm off the Jeep and watch as I dive, I'll never reach the ground. I don't care about that one. You don't know about that? I don't know about it.

Yeah, right. Or that guy. what's his name? Bradley. Bradley Cooper. He was a bit of a, annoying character in that movie. Wasn't it? Well, that's the point. He's not meant to be nice guy.

Yeah. What about Dewey Cox? Dewey Cox. Do you, did you ever see Dewey Cox walk hard? No. What is that? It's kind of like a ripoff of all those like 2000s musical biopics like the, like Johnny Cash and Ray and...

Yeah, sure. So they could put all the tropes of all those different movies, like musical background stories into like a... Into Joey Cox. Into like a sort of, you know, um, uh, rip, like a parody version of that. Walk hard the Jewie Cox story. Yeah. With John C.

Riley. That's so funny. And, and like 16 year old me absolutely loved that. Ooh, it's got Margot Martindale in it. I'll watch that. It's a funny movie, but like, you gotta be kind of, you got to get back into kind of your like teenage sense of humor. I'm too elevated for that now.

Okay. Well, so what are you thinking? The, um, so there was this like mock Eurovision movie that I watched as a teenager. Was it Eurovision? No. With Will Ferrell? No. And there was a fake, it was like, Ready To Be Boys Voiced or something, and the band

was called Boys Voice, and it was like this Norwegian or whatever boy group. And through the movie, there were all video clips and then stuff, and there were all these different songs. And as a 16 year old, I was obsessed with it and would sing the songs, but yeah. Yeah. Give us one of those songs. We are the play moment. And they were all like, um, it was like it's aged terribly.

Like they're all just like the most stupid like boys humor jokes. Like there's a song about hooking up with your cousin and stuff. But, no, see? But at the time I thought it was quite a delight. Are you saying them? Boys voice? Yeah.

No, that's awful. Is that what you want? They're disgusting. Why the fuck are we talking about? Well. You haven't seen that? you want? They're disgusting. Then why the fuck are we talking about? Well. You haven't seen that? No. We should watch that.

Well, only if we watch Josie and the Pussycats first. All right. Why do you do what you do to me? God, maybe Hannah Montana's wig. You could have Hannah. If I get Emma, you can have Hannah. I mean, I don't want to over, I've over saw how much I, don't know how much I want Hannah.

She's kind of annoying. She does have some bangers though. Yeah, such as? Northumberland High, although that might be Meet Miley Cyrus. Northumberland High. See You Again, oh that's also Meet Miley Cyrus. See you again. The best of both worlds is also, you get the limo out front, how to style every shoe, every

color. But when you're famous, it can be kind of fun. I don't know. Just make a choice. Okay. Three, two, one. Josie. Oh, yeah, Josie.

Put Josie. Josie. And the pussycats. Josie. Put Josie. Josie. And the pussycats. And her pussycats. How many are there? Two others, Rosario Dawson and Tara Reid. Rosario Dawson? Yes.

Incredible. And dressed really crazy ugly in that film. Ooh, that's fun. They just did some weird things in the costume department for that. What year did it come out? 2001. Oh, so it was competing with Lord of the Rings.

Interesting. Well, there was no competition really. And Parker Posey's in it. Really? As the villain. Oh, you would love White Lotus. Well, Eugene Levy's in it. I love Schitt's Creek.

Okay great. Josie and Co? Yeah. Valerie. Valerie? It's one of the other girls. Oh I see. Are there really two other girls?

No I know, what's the other one? Josie, Valerie and... Oh my god. Melody. Melody. The dumb one. Oh wow. She says, honk if you love pussy.

Cats. I mean, that's a motto we can all get behind, I think. And also this week, for our rock, we're of course putting in Emma Frost in her diamond form. Good. For our- Coke, we're putting in a DC lady who is smoking a Marlboro light, slim,

and she can't get a DC because they only serve Australia's Choice at Reggie's. And I'm furious. Let me tell you, I'm furious. Sorry, diva. Okay, what a week. What a great week here on the pod. Listen up. Thank you all so much for listening. Perhaps now is a week. What a great week here on the pod.

Thank you all so much for listening. Perhaps now is a good time to remind you that you could send in your topic suggestions. And with that, bye bye. Death, Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided by EdiCentric and Angus Lesnick. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathkiller.com. And would you support us please at patreon.com such as death to everyone. Goodbye. I gotta go. So...