Death To Everyone - Death To... Cult Movies, Cleaning Supplies & Apples

Episode Date: September 24, 2024

Hello there! Don't you look ravishing? Touched by the spring sun with a gentle breeze. Please join your benevolent hostess' Lazy Susan & Zelda Moon this week as they discuss their favourite cult movies, what cleaning supplies have merit and finally, which apple variety reigns supreme over all others. Important work, but we're happy to do it. Tsu Lange Yor to you. Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 so Yeah, cool. That's good. How are you? I'm very well, thank you. Do you think we should start the show?

No, I think this is good. I would spend a bit more time in the living room. What about this? Wrapping your fingernails against my skull. Hello, listener. Hey. My name is Lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And this is

Death to Everyone. This is a podcast television show about two celestial goddesses. That's us. And it's our job to decide what survives the end of time. The end of the world.

We've got a bunker. It's a doomsday bunker. Of course. And we take various objects, items, and curios and decide which of them from human culture deserves to be spared. From the end of time. The apocalypse. So, before we kick things off on today's episode, we're going to just talk to each other a little bit, converse, introduce ourselves. Just a little chat. We also have our space car driver here. What's your name?

Matti. Matti. I'm going to need you to speak up. Are you speaking in Norwegian? Are you taking a cheeky little mini-mouthy case? No. Matti. Matti. I need you to speak up. Are you speaking in Norwegian? Are you taking a cheeky little mini-mouthy case? No. Matti. Matti.

Matti. The power of heart. Yes, and that monkey. That monkey. I have the power of monkey. What do you have? I have the power of ponytail. Lenker.

Uh-huh, uh-huh, Lenker. Yeah. Why was Wheeler allowed to be america he was so hot but like then wait where were they each from yeah wheeler was america yes uh then kwame was africa like the entire continent i think that's the issue yeah and then gi was all of asia all of Asia. This show has issues. Yeah, I think that it was just like, what? America is... Yeah. Get Whoopi on the line. She would have a few things to say.

Get Cameron Diaz on the line. Do you think we could? No. No. Okay. Anyway, that's enough whispering. Okay. Well, I was just trying to be demure,

because do you know what Matt said to me just before we went to air? What did you say, Matt? It was just a harmless joke. And you always do this. You always take these jokes too far. I guess it's the victim's fault. I don't actually remember anyone laughing. No.

No. I mean. I was laughing. I was just chuckling away. Oh, and what were you laughing at? Just a little joke that I made. A harmless joke. It's a harmless joke.

Okay, well, why don't you repeat your harmless joke for the audience at home? Well, look, they were being difficult, the goddesses in the booth, because they swapped microphones and then I had to readjust all my settings and I was saying, you know, I have to turn down Lazy because her voice is very abrasive and loud. And nasal. And Zeynep's voice is very soft and gentle and has quite a beautiful tone. Well, there we go.

There you said it again. I did. You made me repeat it for the snow. Well, better write that one down and send it straight to Jalapetal for his next comedy because it's fucking hilarious. But to be honest, I don't know what the punchline is. Zal was laughing now. I don't know.

Well, I'm glad my misery is causing both of you joy, but my voice is my voice and this is how I talk. This is me. Exactly. Right now. Because here I come. And that freaky fucking bearded lady, her only issue is facial hair. Mine is this fabulous voice.

You have a beautiful voice. I was just teasing. Don't be too sensitive. It's okay. I'm too sensitive with an ugly voice? Interesting. You heard it't be too sensitive. It's okay. I'm too sensitive with an ugly voice? Interesting. You heard it here first, listener. I'm just doing my best with what you guys are giving me.

I'm just trying my best to make it sound really good for the listener. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm better starting now. Okay. Okay. So, how are you, Zelda? Oh, I'm so good.

How's your week? Oh, it's just so different. No, you didn't let me finish. How are you, Zelda? Oh, I'm so good How's your week? Oh, it's just so different No, you didn't let me finish How are your weak little arms? Like little sticks How's your weak heart? See, this is what Lady does as well As soon as she gets insulted She starts to deflect onto someone else.

Well, that's it. Take the spotlight off onto someone else. Darling, it's called a cycle of abuse. You know, the kid that bullied you at school was getting lit cigarettes put out on their back. You know, that's the story. So you're my abuser and Zelda's abuser and Zelda abuses the world. With a weak love. That's the story. So you're my abuser and Zelda's abuser and Zelda abuses the world.

With a weak little arm. Oh no. Pencil thin. Jangling around. We should all just apologize to each other. Well, I don't have to apologize to you. You're my abuser. I feel like you've spent a lot of your life abusing me. Go on, go on.

You have. We used to work together, so. You're just being sensitive, Matt. Oh, I'm not being sensitive. God. I mean the right amount of sensitive. Okay, here we go. I was saying you're being too sensitive.

You know what? We can take this off air. Okay, Zelda, how was your week? We've done a lot of podcasts this week Just to undertone on each other And then My week, so good So different to the last four weeks

Which weren't the same week as this one I think we'll pluck some random news story to entertain our listeners Yeah, I've been trying to reserve Like a story per section, you know Yeah, yeah, yeah What else can I pluck from my Well, four weeks ago now, Lemon won Yeah

Canada versus the world What are your reflections on that? Well, love Divas in Yellow Yes Something about it that I just appreciate. It's the year of the yellow. It is. And in fire wind.

Lemon. Piss. Piss. Piss is back in a big way. No, I've had enough piss this year. Yeah. Let me tell you. No, but that was so long ago now I can barely even remember it

Okay no what else Do I have any other stories I don't know how was your week My week's been good I've just been bopping along Living my life Yeah what have I been doing I've just been doing a lot of like

Photo editing Little bits and bobs Like getting promo images ready for Zelda and I. We're still obviously in the throes of trying to figure out how we can get people to come to our trivia. Because I know you've been all following closely our Deathmatch trivia, which I know what we were describing sounded amazing, but it hit a point where

we just there were no book well i think people have had enough or kind of think that like that's it you know what i mean like it's better to hold something back yeah if you try and give it to people every week they don't want it on that i was watching something oh my god what was it it wasn't in shrek was it no no we're like there's the like the rocket is being fired into the sky and it starts to fall and then like the father of the son who's in the rocket is like trying to like run over to the rocket and people are like holding him back that is so stupid what like what are you holding him back from what like in any life no like physically like don't run over there it's like he's not gonna run it's 15 kilometers away in the middle of the desert he's not gonna make it like that cliche

in film and tv of like holding someone back like from themselves. I just think that's so lame. Like they're only trying to get two meters ahead to get a slightly better vantage point to see the death of their child. Like it's fine. What was that in? I don't know.

It wasn't a rocket. That was just my crazy first thought. Yeah. I mean, like I think if they're in reach of their, like, potential accident, there is a kind of safety concern, which is that they could run into, like, a smoking car or a burning building and injure themselves. There's a really good one in Broadchurch in the first episode

where the mum, her son's gone missing and she's been looking for her son. And then the detective in the town of Broadchurch and the new detective find the body of the son on the beach. And then the detective from Broadchurch, she's like another mum and her kids play with this kid. And so she knows the mum and she knows them well. And then when she sees the mom walking down the beach like who's ever heard that this like been a body found she like is holding her back and she's

like don't come over here you don't want to see it because you're about to see like the corpse of your son on the beach which i think is like a good version of that because it's like i know you and i know that you don't want to see this this is too too traumatic. And it's very, and the mom's like, no, no, is that him? Is that him? I can see his shoes. And it's really, yeah, that's the best version of that. Well, the bad version of that, I don't like it. A rocket with a boy inside.

And you're trying to get two meters forward to get a better look. Yeah, I don't like that. Hold me back. No. Yeah. From what? and that's like our trivia how what i presume someone was trying to go to trivia and someone was holding the bag you don't want to go there you don't want to see that it's too dramatic yeah weekly gigs man

yeah that's hard this is the best weekly gig because no one can cancel it no exactly yeah um no i just it's like it's like i always say this with drag it's like you can be like your drag can be anything right like your drag is it's a career of your own choosing if you want to like be a fashionista you can be a fashionista if you want to like work at the local you know bar you can work at the you know whatever whatever the fuck you want to do but you kind of have to figure out the supply and for the longest time i think like what we did well for our specific type of drive was control the supply so that like it was once a month and that like or once every two months and it was like

you know these stupid goofy bitches like they're not gonna be like your everyday meal yeah because there's like good like dancing divas that can like perform like the new chapel roan hit that week and pull off that shit but then there's us that's gonna do like yeah our version of drag yeah and it will only happen every two months. So it'd be like a bit more of an occasion, but it's not like an everyday food. Yes. And now that we've been doing it every week,

it's just as like, I don't know. Do people want this every week? They're fucking, they've had it. They're, they're like, it's too much for them.

Yeah. And so it's like, yeah, do you control the supply enough so that there's enough kind of appetite for what you're giving and also knowing that you can't necessarily get it to that same standard if you do it every week

well I don't know about you darling but my trivia questions are impeccable you're right no have you been to each other's show yeah? oh yeah I've seen it No it's great I love the differences

And I love the similarities And I love the vibes To me it's really fun But it's also like I would definitely Like forgive That people don't want to do that every week But I will say

That we bought quite a few Titanic clocks. So if you'd all fucking come and take them off our hands, that would be really good. Oh, yeah. What are the clocks for? The grand prize. The winner of trivia takes home a Titanic clock. Beautiful.

I wonder if we should start. I mean, we're just having a meeting now live on air. But I wonder if we should start doing like the specialty weeks like where it's like now it's just buffy trivia this week yeah some people like some places do that and it seems to go quite well but it's harder to get a consistent audience then with that yeah and like i my fear with that is like what if you don't like or know anything about buffy well then you're coming yeah exactly yeah so like if we spring it on them when they're there, they're like, oh, okay, well, I don't know about this one.

Well, you should have said that during your Wolverine and Deadpool round. Well, that was the whole point. If I'd advertised that, no one would have come. So, I ensnared them and set it as round three. So, they're already invested in the game. If it was round one, they would have just walked out. Yeah, stakes. Yeah.

It's like revealing to someone that you have a weird laugh three months into a relationship. Has anyone walked out yet? Of trivia? Yeah. No. Yeah, no. Oh, my God.

No, anyway, I don't know This is like the angst of a drag queen It's a tricky fucking market At the moment as well I think there's a recession coming You heard it here first Do you know what I feel like drag queens Should be one of the fucking indicators

Because I tell you what When the men stop spending money at strip clubs and when the people stop coming to drag shows, like that's... It's the first to go. It truly is. Because that's like the extra little income. Yeah. Like, do I go out to this stupid event where drag queens battle it out?

Or do I sit at home and watch Netflix? Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. What a fabulous week. Zelda, how does the world end this week? Ooh, okay. I was trying to think of a few different options.

I was thinking about like Waterworld. Like maybe everything melts. Kevin Costner? Yeah. But I do think it's kind of fabulous in that scenario for everyone to be on boats. That's not really an apocalypse. It's just like a, you know, maritime society. It's still apocalyptic.

Yeah, it's still apocalypse. Maybe this... Because it could be like a few like, like survivors. Like in that film Borderlands with Cate Blanchett. We should go and see that. Apparently it's absolutely dog shit. That's crazy that that film just happened. Yes.

True apocalypse. Maybe the taste for the apocalypse has gone out. Don't say that. Because for Furiosa and Borderlands to like fail back to back Yeah Feels like ooh is there a tide turning here? Are people optimistic again? It's getting too real

Yeah maybe that They just want Bridgerton 3D It has been done a lot now Like there's a lot of shows and movies about the apocalypse That's so true And they do use the same sorts of tropes. Totally. Oh, there's a little innocent girl.

We need to protect her from the apocalypse. I thought that was the end of the sentence. Yeah. Tell me more. Okay. So let's go down water world route. Okay. So everything's melted.

I mean, everything. Ice creams. Yep. They're melted so everything's melted. I mean everything. Ice creams. Yep. They're melted. They're melted. All cold drinks. They're all gone. Ice?

All ice. Even ice? Even ice. So like ice in like the bar, that's all melted. Chocolate. Chocolate is hot. Yeah. Oh, well.

Impossible. Yeah. But all of the caps have melted. In fact... Say it. Like, I think all... Yeah? Like, maybe all, like...

I'm trying to come at this from, like, a scientific chemical point, but I'm far too stupid. I was going to say, like, all of the, like... No. All of the, like like H2NO Around Have joined into that form Wait You know

Hydrogen All the hydrogen and all the oxygen Two oxygen Yeah They've joined And there's more water than ever And that's how we got here Because I think if just the ice caps melted

Then like there would still be some land above water that's not what's happening they were all bombed first by ice or something so it's all water yes and the increase in ocean depth has uh been populated by kraken ah the kra Yeah. Where did they come from? The trench. A seed. Oh. Yeah. Okay. So now there's maybe some survivors, but not for long,

because the Kraken are coming. So the bunker exists. There's like a very small population of like pirates and cape ranchers. How do you imagine the bunker looks in this world? Is it floating or is it under sea? It's under the sea. Under the sea. But there is a floating platform at the top with the porthole.

Oh, that's nice. Into the ladder. Yeah. To go down. And is that like kind of swaying? Oh, yes. Yeah. So the porthole is kind of flexible too.

Yes. That's pretty cool. Maybe there's a little window as well. Tidal currents aren't to be fucked with. You can't stand rigid in a tidal current. You cannot. Is there kind of a decompression chamber at each level? The bunker is deeply pressurized.

Yeah. Yeah. So the tube is pressurized? Yes. Incredible. Yeah. Too bad that that technology wasn't applied to the rest of the world when everything was melting.

Yeah. But you know what? There's only limited resources. Yeah. We can only save what we can save. Yeah. But there's some like random pirates up top. Yeah.

The Kraken will take care of them and that's the end of the world. Wet world. And I do just want to say that the Kraken are gigantic.'re kind of like a burnt orange color um long tentacles yeah um and a real kind of arrowhead shape and a real bad attitude yes yeah they're pissed yes Yeah I think that's good Too big To be perceived Do you know what? Whenever that Yo Ho

No no no no no no You're singing the fucking song from The Hobbit? No the TikTok It's a TikTok song What? It's like a little TikTok song. You know the one? No.

You know. It's so... I wish I could continue to not know. It's like a little sea shanty thing. Oh my God, it's so... Why are you playing this? How did you get this so quickly as well? That's so...

Also, like... Turn it off. You don't like that? No. I think you'd love that. If that was the style of one of your games, you'd love that. But, like, that just makes me think of, like, Vikings. Yeah.

And how everyone was, like, so into Vikings, as in, like, the TV show. Oh. I'm like, it was good. That's a pirate, say, Shani. Yes, but. They didn't have them in Viking times. No, they would have been singing in Norwegian. Little Winnie Mouth vacation.

It's like how Mario Kart and Mario Kart 64 were like, there was, you know, it wasn't the original. Why are you both mad at each other? And then I'm the one being attacked. I'm not mad at Matt. Matt was just rude to me and there's a cycle of abuse. Shit rolls downhill, darling. Yo.

That song is just playing through speakers, underwater speakers around the world. That song is so scary. I'm cracking and attacking people. Oh, my God. It's too deep, that bassy sound of so many men Harmonizing together It's scary

It hits a primal nerve Inside of my brain It makes me really afraid Good I'm not angry at either of you I love being here with both of you I'm being sincere As we drive through space Yes I love being here with both of you. I'm being sincere. Yeah.

As we drive through space. Yes. Oh, the spooky sound. Oh my God. I don't know if you heard that, listener. Sometimes when the wind is really strong, there's one little hole somewhere in my studio and there's a little spooky whistle that happens. And it happened to perfectly punctuate this conversation spooky

conversation so you were freaked out by that i'm freaked out now yeah hearing about that little hole okay okay let's go on our first break we'll come back refresh renewed reduced and recycled recycled yeah friends again To the world To every world Hello. Hello. Listener. Hello, friends.

We just had a group hug. Yeah. We did. And then we all sang our favorite song. Yo. Jesus. Yo. Ew, it's so scary.

That doesn't scare you? It scares me how quickly you found it on your phone. That's what scares me. I just, it's so unnerving. Okay. I always thought what scared me scared everyone, which is what Wes Craven said famously. I just had an interview just listening to that song late at night.

There's certain things that I will absolutely always stop for on TikTok. One, if that song is playing, it's really scary. But if it has giant machines that are underwater, I have to switch away. It's too scary. Like, oh, my God. Like giant oil rigs or like ships out at sea with like 15-meter-tall waves.

That is like I have to leave. But the ones that I always stay for are the Reddit stories that are like, what's the creepiest thing that no one knows about you and then you read them all like slide by slide and i will always stop for like a reddit thread of those things and they always have like some creepy music underneath and it's like oh it's too scary to be here alone in the middle of the night yo okay what's our first topic for discussion today well i'll tell you well you know i think we've got a really good thing going with the first topic of every week being something exceptionally banal and boring oh yeah so i've selected something i think that

you really like and have opinions about. Yeah. Which cleaning product gets into the bunker? Now, I want you to know that this category includes both, like, liquid sprays, you know, these kind of treatments, as well as, like, tools, tools for cleaning, things like mops, things like long rags on sticks. So all of those things are in the mix.

Anything that can be used to clean, I would like to know which one we're using to clean the bunker. That includes also vacuum cleaners. Oh. Yeah. So it's any cleaning. This is so broad. Yeah. But a vacuum cleaner can't clean glass.

I know. So you really have to pick wisely. Because it could be smudgy glass or weird carpets I mean, we don't have any windows, so that's okay Okay, my first thought when you expanded this to tools Is like a stiff broom for getting the cobwebs off the side of your house Oh I love that

That's like one of my favorite cleaning gloves I hate when a broom gets lightly wet though And leaves those little tendrils of filth. Oh, like you're just spreading the grime. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But a dry, cobweb, stiff, bristle broom, that's good. Get away from my house!

Get up! Yeah. But you don't want it to be too stiff, because I don't want to go through a window. But like too soft. Soft. That's an inside broom. Yes.

I need stiff. You heard it here first. But that's good. Of course, I have both at home just for, you know, situational. What do you think of microfiber towels? I don't like them. I don't like it. That texture.

It's so ugly. It's like such a TV shopping network version of a fabric it's so ugly well you know and then i see it used correctly by some people and i'm like ah i get it microfiber yeah like who like when someone uses it dry to get dust off the interior of a car. I'm like, oh, I see now. Yeah. That's it. That's how you use it. Yeah. Yeah. But they're also super absorbent.

Are they? Yeah. One time we were doing this gig for White Night, which was like pre-whatever it is now, Rising or whatever. Yeah, Rising. And White Night was like from 6 p.m. to 6 a.m. at night was like from 6pm to 6am at night in the dead of winter, in the middle of winter. And we were doing a show.

I was playing violin for like a circus show, which was really fun. But it was like raining in between our sets, kind of like this drizzle and the performers couldn't like perform on the the slippery ground so in between our sets we were just mopping the floor with like microfiber rags oh but like it got rid of so much water it was crazy they're just really really absorbed that's actually really good to know because maybe you just keep one hand to like Sop up a stain Sopping Like if you get red wine on the carpet

I don't think they I don't think they Like they're not like They wouldn't get a stain out No but you could use it to get all the liquid away Yeah yeah yeah And then go in with like your cleaner of choice Yeah

Which you couldn't do in the bunker Because we're not going to have more than one No We're on a budget um do you know what i love that's like very old world is sad wonder soap yeah have you got that yeah it's so good it's so good it's like a bar of soap that smells like ass and like you rub it on a stain And like if it doesn't come out With the Sard Wonder Soap It ain't coming out Because like even the

What is it? The Oxy Action Spray Isn't as good as the Sard Wonder Soap Because you know Like the best way to get a stain out Is you've got to agitate for a long time Yes And cause the osmosis to take place

Unlock the stain and get it out of the fibre Oh my god You know agitate for a long time. Yes. And cause the osmosis to take place. Unlock the stain and get it out of the fiber. Oh my God. You know? What else have you learned from commercials? Oh, so many things. Like 98% of the things that I know. But I actually learned that in science class.

Oh, I see. Yeah. My teacher was like, this is how stains work when you go into it. And then she was like, and this is how water Gets stains out And I was like That's cool I'm gonna remember that Hey, that's the H2O Yes

That'll kill us all Yeah You Thought you needed it to live What do you make of like We use baking soda and vinegar And lemon juice To clean the benches.

Yeah. You like that? I, like, that's fine. I think that surface spray is, like, kind of evil. Like, just generally? Yeah. Like, just a pointless chemical application? Yes.

Like, it kills 99.9% of bacteria. It also kills the brain cells. What do I need the bacteria on the bench to be killed for? I'm not going to touch it and eat it. Yeah. I'm not licking my bench top. No. Well, I am, but...

Like, I just think that's, like, overkill. Like, you have to, like, get real a bit. Well, that's why those superbugs are going to kill us all. Yeah. Because we've just been, like, wiping out their brethren until they're only the strongest remain. Too strong for us. I learned that from an ad too.

I think sometimes those chemicals don't actually kill them. And then like, they just kind of like make them dormant for a little bit and then they just come back like even stronger. Also, I'm just not that afraid. It's like a really bad mix of like chemicals and bacteria that are like resistant to the chemicals.

It's just, it seems unnecessary yeah and a lot of the times they like the scent is so intense oh i'm like i'll pick the scent thank you and it will be like a green candle not fucking like alpine freeze yeah fucking well there's a lot of those like yeah scents that they've tied to, like, the idea of cleanliness. Yes. Like, how mint toothpaste is considered clean teeth, even though mint and clean doesn't necessarily have anything to do with it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, like, lemon, orange, like, pine.

Zesty, fresh stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Evil. Evil! But what I do like, Apart from a firm bristle Is gumption Gumption is the shit

Listener Gumption Gumption is like, you get a little tub It's like a very very thick cream But a small amount on a cloth or a sponge And if you apply it to a scuff Or to a mark on a wall or a hard surface, perhaps a mannequin. I've cleaned many mannequins with gumption.

It will take that right off. It's fucking amazing. What is in it then? Who knows? It's kind of like a wet chalk, isn't it? Kind of. It's like a chalky cream. Well, it's like how those like magic erasers they're

kind of just like using a micro sanding yeah they're like pre-loaded with like a gumption you know formula ability yeah yeah well because it's you're just yeah you're filing off that very top layer or something instead of like cleaning it off. Sometimes, but when you wet a magic eraser, it has something in it because it gets all foamy. I don't like that. It's got to be dry. It's got to be dry. Yeah.

And a wet magic eraser never returns to its original shape. It gets all squashed. Oh, no. Magic erasers are one use only to my mind. Oh, mama. Oh, mama. Yes. I mean, it depends what you're using it for.

Those little ones? Those little squares? Not little, little. Like a regular sponge-sized magic eraser. Oh, you're crazy. We got the big girls. At your work? Yeah.

Oh, you're crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I like Barkeeper's Friend. That's good. But yeah, all of those, I mean, to be fair, I love that thing where like in hospitals, they just dump bleach on the ground. Because like all of this to say, and all of the like, you know, you don't need that overkill. When something is like so industrially cleaned that it's ridiculous that it's like the

whole room stinks of chemicals and you're like like you know went on wellington after a long night yes where it's just like they're just fooling nothing is alive yeah they like have to napalm the entire area with cleaning products yes there's something i find quite like wow you really did too much i love that like when people like on tiktok clean their toilets with like every cleaning product and they just like keep throwing new layers of powder and shit on that would be so toxic it's so bad it's terrible but it's like addicting to look at not to do i've discovered like bleach spray for like tiles in the bathroom or whatever

um because i never like would clean with bleach because it kind of freaks me out yes it's so it's just so that like if you're cleaning with something and you like can't be physically above it because the fumes will burn your eyes yeah it's kind of an indicator that perhaps it's a touch too much yeah but the bleach spray which i just like will spray a layer and then like get in and scrub to get the mold yeah it's so effective it's like undeniable it's so much better than just like jif yeah yeah oh that's like there's no going back but i won't ever get like a big thing of bleach too scary yeah see but that that doesn't actually kill. It just discolours it until it's invisible to see. How do you get rid of mould in your house?

You have to use vinegar. You have to use vinegar? Cleaning vinegar is the only thing that gets rid of mould, like actually kills it. Tell me more. Like it might still be there. The colouration might still be there, but it won't be dead. Yeah, when you bleach it, it actually just discolours it

so that it's invisible, but it actually grows back twice as strong. This is the thing, they don't tell you. Well, by this time, it's about 55,000 times stronger. That's who that guy was. So you can bleach it, like, so maybe you do the vinegar first and then do bleach afterwards to get rid of the colour. So what kind of vinegar solution do you use?

Just normal vinegar. Any vinegar. Like white vinegar. Balsamic? Like white vinegar in like... A nice balsamic glaze. Yeah, you know what? What if I'm feeling French?

So like you put it in a spray bottle and then like spray vinegar into the wall and then like wipe it off? Yeah, that's it. No water dilution. You don't need to. Maybe some croutons. Bit of olive oil. Cause lettuce. You got a party.

Oh, I'm going to do that. That sounds fun. I want to do that. Oh, let's go home and do it. Wall salad. We're it wall salad we're making wall salad today oh my god write that down what did we write down last week there was something else great that we came up with oh i did write that down wait one moment i wrote this is from two weeks ago i believe it was um celebrity bird bath the club night Oh yeah Welcome to Celebrity Bird Bath

These are all my ideas by the way You didn't invent vinegar Yeah You're not Italian I'm not a recorder happening You reinvented I invented wall salad Wall salad

Yes Well we'll call it something else like Wall Salad Salad Salata Wall sandwich Yeah Sandwich Bread I was like, whoa. Salad. Salad. Salad. Whoa, sandwich.

Yeah. Sandwich. Bread. Okay. Okay. So, yes, gumption, incredible. I love the nozzle on, like, the toilet rim cleaner, how it's, like, so to get under the rim.

That's fun. That's, do you know what? Like that's the toilet bowl cleaning is kind of like the, like when it is a different color water is too much for me. You don't like that blue? No, it's too much. I'm also just like, that's kind of the most extraneous like place to be like clean in that way. Cause like really you can just

use water and it gets back to clean because it's like the water is being replaced every time you flush so i don't think like that it's prone to like if you give it a good scrub i think it's prone to like needing like a lot of product down there Considering it's going straight back into the What about those little Toilet Soaps Stick on the side things Those like little like Do you know the ones they Like

Because they have the like classic ones That like are the chassis filled with Yeah yeah yeah But the one that's like yeah Inject a little like Mold Christmas mold of like A jelly star

That's so weird I don't like I don't like I don't like them Because I think it's like You know makeup and cleaning products Are kind of Two of the worlds where You have to like invent

Like even though we kind of Perfected it 50 years ago By and large You're like Here's the mascara That makes your lashes Magically 10 times bigger

But it's the same shit And it's the same shit yes and it's the same with cleaning it's like we know generally how to clean stuff and have known but like here's a way to clean different go on change your life put this jelly starfish in your toot call it a day yeah in america like the toilet seat covers? Yeah. That's crazy. I don't like that.

That's so stupid. Ew, that feels so absorbent. Wax paper between your ass and the tray. Okay. I mean, any others? I do kind of like Windex. I mean, like, put some Windex on it, as we learned from my big fat Greek wedding. What?

The dad's always trying to put some Windex on it. I haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? No. Mia Thermopolis? Add it to the movie list. Yeah. Put it on the movie list.

You'll love it. She has a big fat Greek wedding. Surprise hit. My dad used to put Mr. She sheen like when he was cleaning and you know i do attribute this to him being like american is that he's cleaning is like really specific like he'll buy the deadliest products with the the most floral scent yeah and then just kind of maybe like the table wouldn't be fully clean, but then he would like add a ample spray of foaming Mr. Sheen, wood polish over the top and then just give it a wipe down.

So it was like giving that brazen shine. Oh my God. Yeah. Growing up, I had a high school teacher called Mrs. Sheen. And she would always have Mr. Sheen and do an S on the bottle. Are you out of control? It was crazy. What do you mean?

What did she do the S with? Like big fat Sharpie. She's incredible. She owned the narrative, made it about her. Yep. Wow. Mrs. Sheen, actually. incredible she owned the narrative made it about her yep wow mrs sheen actually did she shave her head and have an iridescent like shine sadly no but it's still time um yes i mean there's something

so magical about people that are able to like clean like clean the impossible clean like when they're able to get that stain out or like that you know incredible like mark out of a floor yes that's good um i at my previous apartment when i moved out i did like the deep clean which was fucking nightmare but the stove i like really like detail cleaned and when i finished i was like oh i haven't been cleaning this very well for the past many years i didn't realize it could be this clean like i always give it a wipe down after i use it or whatever but like never like the full like really deep clean and it wasn't that bad and it came up so much better. I was like, Oh,

sorry for not, I thought, I thought you were beyond this kind of level of cleanliness. Yeah. I thought this was where you were. Yeah. But she had, she had higher heights to reach.

So, yeah. It's a tricky one. Yeah. And then also vacuum culture is so. Vacuum. Yeah. I mean, as previously discussed, my... Disgusting.

My love of my new cordless vacuum. Yeah. It's revolutionized my entire life. Do you know, I really need to, at some point, get a cordless vacuum. However, because I think the benefit of the cordless vacuum is the ease of use which means that the vacuuming is less because you do it more often correct um but because i grew up with floor vacuums like little roller floor vacuums i consider that they they're just so much more powerful the The sucking power is just so high.

And I really want to like... So, I don't know. I need to try them and see whether it can... Because every time I've used one, it maybe hasn't been top of the line. Come use my vacuum sometime. I will. It's going to change your life. Because I like that convenience. I'm so used to a floor one that I'm like,

and they just are like. No. See, I was very nervous and no regrets. Tragedacious. Yeah. But what I will say is that even though it's annoying when it would get stuck, when it doesn't get stuck and you press that little like cord button

and the cord gets. What alchemy. That's fucking incredible. we need to use that technology on more things like in so many ways that why is that not being used in drag insane like look at all the cords in this room right now in this studio and yeah like how one would have to like wrap it up with what our hands like savages yeah true oh and h And hoses? Hoses? Why has no one done that? Yeah, it's insane

How would you incorporate it into drag? Imagine you're wearing a gown And you press a button on your tit And then the gown turns into a shorter gown Because it's retracted the strings that are inside of it Yeah That would be sick Okay, we're writing that down

What do you think about houses that are vacuums? You know, they have a system and the walls, they have a little hole and you just plug the tube in. Oh. We have one of them in our house, actually. You have that in your current house? No, we used to in the house I grew up in. Yeah.

So where did it all go? Is there like a big van somewhere? It was into the garage, into the shed. Like there was like a vacuum box, like just a big vacuum cleaner attached to the wall. But it's like when you just open that hole, it turns on. Yeah, because it has a little like a little metal like connector. So when you plug the hose into the wall,

the metal like activates the circuit. The circuit, yeah. That's so cool. It's like our house used to be a house. Now it's a vacuum. Yeah, the whole house is vacuuming. I don't understand. Yeah.

I think it's just like I can't be bothered walking around my mansion and so I just take the hose part and I'm not taking a whole vacuum because that's wall mounted that would be good in the bunker actually because we do have mnemonic tubes yes well you just have a little hole straight out into space into the ocean into the ocean yes where trash belongs what yeah you know the vikings love to throw their trash in there old skeletons okay so what do we think i i mean i just my pitch is gumption it is do you know what i want to throw one last thing on the fire one last morning fresh green. Only because it looks so cool.

That iridescent green. It's like that fluoro that's also clear. So you're just talking about like the dishwashing liquid on the bench. No, I'm talking about like when you pour it out of the thing. Oh, yes. That goo. Oh, yes. Like there's something incredible about that goo

Oh, yeah Like, why is it so fabulous? And acid Like, and it's got those little bubbles in it And the way the light just permeates it And then it foams into such a fine lather Have you ever used it to wash makeup off your face? Yes

Many times Me too So effective It is It's so drying, though It's awful Have you ever used it to wash makeup off your face? Yes. Yes. Many times. Me too. So effective. It is. It's so drying though. It's awful. But the way that it cuts through oil and grease. Yeah.

Like when you have oil on the surface of water and you just drop a little single drop of morning fresh and it explodes all the oil away. Yes. I like that. Yeah. So when they're like, it's a concentrate, you only need this much. And I'm like, I'll tell you how much I need. Oh, shut up bottle.

I need to spray this over everything. Yes. Oh, I'll concentrate when using it perhaps. Yeah. So maybe that's like, I think. I mean, as a, like as an object like, that goo has a lot more going for it than, like, the, like, off-white creme, like, gumption slab. Of gumption.

Yeah. Like, when you put the two next to each other, it's an absolute no-brainer. Yeah. Like, solidified cum lock. There's a reason that Morning Fresh is inside of, yeah. Yeah. That's inside of every home in Australia is Morning Fresh. Gumption is only in high-end retails environments.

Yeah. Cafes and stuff. Yeah. I would only suggest one other thing is just the good old-fashioned mop. Bring a bucket and a mop. What kind of mop do you use at home? Do you have the little foot leather i think we've just actually we've only got a one of those like mops that has a spray

attached to the little handle of it i didn't realize we were with the aristocracy how nice a stick vacuum and a mop with a spray on it so you just fill up the little canister and then you just go around just spraying and wiping up your spray. Is it annoying when you have to get the gold ingots out of the way? Or do you just mop around them? Well, we polish them nightly. Oh, I love it, Dan. With your magic eraser. But I imagine the old-fashioned, like in the bunker especially,

like having someone just mopping the holes. Like a janitorial like mop and bucket. Like big long white fingers. No, like even, yeah, like barely any ring. Maybe just like one of those ones that you ring yourself, like with a sort of plastic. Rollers. Roller. Yeah.

I love that. That's the one. Cause I finally, after years of thinking about it, Rollers Roller Yeah I love That's the one Because I Finally After years of thinking about it Bought that mop Like a string mop With the yellow bucket

That has the two rollers That when you press the button They make a little Path through which the mop Must squeeze Yes And it's been so worth it Because it hasn't died

Like every other mop bucket in history Like it's like just going that one level up Has meant it didn't crack It hasn't like Stopped spinning at a certain point It's just a fucking stick and bucket That's good Okay so we've got

Three things to choose from let's make our choice Mop, morning Fresh Acid Blood Or Gumption Gumption I My hesitation with the Morning Fresh is that like That Morning Fresh is so Like the bottle

Like although iconic It gives me like Little shop vibes Like I don't want to idolise That bottle Yeah You know Although iconic, it gives me little shop vibes. I don't want to idolize that bottle. Yeah. It's just a bit too... That's too much for me. That's too like Oceana or something.

Yeah, morning fresh. Yeah. Like brands you can trust. Fuck off. I don't trust you. I trust no one. No. But that liquid I love.

So what can we do about that? Okay. That superhobozle is a rebranding of that goo. And we just call that gumption. Gumption 2.0. Or bunker fresh. Not like gumption. I think gumption is mostly in the name.

It's a great name. You got to put a little gumption in it. Because it's an action as well, isn't it? Yeah. Yes. It's a way of being. I live with gumption. Gumption.

Okay. Morning Fresh is now called gumption. Yeah. In the gumption tub, you'll find the acid goo. Yes. And sorry to your mop yeah sorry oh it's all right just want to throw it in as a no no it's classic i also think there's something so fabulous about mopping like the look of it you can do so many dances while you're mopping

and also you turn them upside down you got a wife finally stick some googly eyes okay well maybe we bring them up in but like she's not a cleaning product she just people treat her like a woman yeah i think that's just another inhabitant yeah if you don't have a partner for the bush dance yeah yeah and like everyone kind of maybe knows that she's a mop but like at a certain point They stop treating her that way Yeah Yeah And sometimes she falls Slides off a wall And makes a very loud noise And everyone goes

Are you okay Stella? Stella Yeah Yeah that's good Okay No we've already decided The woman's name What was it again?

Oh yeah Oh Hegbord Yeah okay Hegbord Yeah Hegbord the mop woman Hegbord the mop

Yes Okay Well that was Fabulous Sometimes you can have all three Yeah Gumption and Hegb bought the mop, woman. Hague bought the mop. Yes. Okay. Well, that was fabulous. Sometimes you can have all three. Yeah. Gumption and Hague bought the mop, lady. Yeah. Gumption is actually morning fresh goo.

Of course. God, we don't say that. Okay. Okay. You'll be right back. Okay. Okay, here we are again. You've moved, we haven't. It's time for the next category.

Ooh, and I can't wait for us to discuss. I'm ready. Now, I have been wanting to do this topic for a while, but I'm worried that after how perhaps that first topic could be perceived as boring. Yeah. I wonder if this is the right path to go down. But you know what? I'm just going to go there. Be brave.

And if it's boring, we'll just get through it real quick. Okay. Okay. Which apple goes into the bunker okay gala and that's all we have time for okay because um i suppose you could look at this question in two ways like which variety of apple which obviously is golden delicious or like which like famous apple oh the big apple like yes that or like a witch's apple oh like famous through history yeah poison original sin apple adam and eve apple yeah apple on like your favorite teacher's desk apple toffee apple um a toffee apple for the girls oh yes um poison toffee apple that sounds

like um like apple computer uh you know you could really it's just so many ways you could go with apple pie apple pie oh well this is a delight. Okay. Well, how fabulous. But if we were talking about, which I suppose that was, I mean, we could just talk about this, but like what variety of apple do you like? I don't really like apples. They're awful. They make my stomach ache. Stomach ache. Yeah, like if I eat an apple. They make my stomach ache.

Stomach ache? Yeah, like if I eat an apple, I get a stomach ache right after. You know you don't eat the core, right? Ah. Which part do you eat? Oh, I see. The bag?

The bag it comes in? The bag it comes in. I think that like I just can't conceive anyone having any desire to eat a red apple. Red apples suck whole. Like they're so tart and abrasive and like difficult to swallow because you're being like, your esophagus is being assaulted. Oh, my God.

I forgot about your soft body. Your soft throat. Oh, my God. And then green apples, well, they can be just as tart, actually. They're tartare. Well, you just got to eat them in the right season. You're eating in the wrong season. I've been alive for 30 million years. You think I haven't encountered an apple in the correct season?

And then there's the ones that are flowery, like a flowery apple, like a shiny on the outside red apple that's flowery on the inside. Get fucked. But a Golden Delicious has a snap. It's not too tart. It's not too tart. It's not too flowery. It's just like firm and crisp. That is so good.

A Golden Delicious is probably top tier. That's the one I have tattooed on my ankle. It's so good. So yeah, for someone who doesn't like apple, I do have a tattoo of an apple. Is Pink Lady the red one that isn't completely insufferable? Yeah, there's quite a few now like varietals of apple that are like doing okay for the red one that isn't completely insufferable yeah there's quite a few now like varietals of apple that are like doing okay for the red side yeah i think green yeah apart from golden delicious

because granny smith is fucking insane granny smith is you're crazy it's obscene it's like a world war ii apple that's like an apple that survived the blitz you know like it's been through shit and it's taking out on you now. Like, anyway, I think the only way to eat an apple is with a sharp knife and you cut a section off and then you spike it and then you put it in your mouth. That's so cool. Like you're in a movie. Yeah.

But I think expanding on that, that like Eve and the apple is like, we've really never put anything biblical in, but this might be the time because that's so fabulous. Like just a tempting apple. But it's like the apple being offered to you by a snake. The serpent. Being like, Eve. You want a delicious apple?

It's not tart, it's the right season. Adam's nowhere. We know these things. I'm a snake. I'm a snake. She's like What did you say?

Have you always distrusted men? Watch out Eve But they didn't call her Eve back then They called her Rib Lady Because she was made from the rib If you eat this apple And you won't have to join Lilith I swear You'll be fine

Also why did they let Satan into the fucking garden In the first place? eat this apple and you won't have to join Lilith, I swear. You'll be fine. Also, why did they let Satan into the fucking garden in the first place? Seems like a bit of an oversight, God. Or fucking entrapment. Really? Yeah, really. Yeah. Create a situation.

Yeah. It's kind of fucked up. I think God was just like behind on his garden rent or something and was like, I'm gonna find a reason to kick him out. Look at this one. that is an evil serpent i'm trust listener i'm looking up adam and eve apples and there's many a nasty serpent around do you remember last week when we were talking about nintendo 64 and it was like maybe matt won't have anything to say about this i know know 100% for sure Matt knows a few things about apples. Come on, baby. You take us on home.

I know you're a bad apple. A bad seed. The only thing I know about apples is that I love apple pies. My favorite dessert. Is it? Yeah. With whipped cream or vanilla ice cream or plain? Vanilla ice cream, I think.

Yeah. Not custard? No. There's already enough gooeyness going on. And you need something cold to kind of cut through the hot. Yes. A compliment. Yeah.

Anyway. So you didn't have like apple farm Tuesdays at the place where you were raised? At the school? Yeah. Anyway. So you didn't, like, have, like, Apple Farm Tuesdays at the place where you were raised? At the school? Yeah. We didn't have Apple Farm Tuesdays, no. But I think there was one apple that I always really loved growing up, which was Fuji. Oh, yeah. Fuji's are good.

They're pear, aren't they? Like, half pear, half apple? I don't know what their ancestry is, but I just know that they taste, only when they're in season. When they're out of season, they taste flowery and bad. When's the season? I think it's just autumn. Autumn.

It's a classic apple period of time. Classic. I loved Fugies. They were the only ones that I really ate. Okay, well, let me tell you about the fuji apple what about it it's um it was developed in 1930 in japan in fuji saki amore um and brought to market in 1962 and it's a cross between two American apple varietals, the Red Delicious and the old Virginia Rowell's Janet, cited as Rawls Janet.

And its name was derived from the first part of town where it was developed, Fujisaki, Fuji. So a Japanese apple. Let's go with our Japanese language. That's quite nice. And japanese godzilla oh my god they're just making new varietals all the time stop saying varietals like it's normal you want to know if you would 2008 they came out with a new version of fuji brawn fuji fabrics it's dark, ruby red stripes and blush.

You know what? I do fucking respect and love the way that in Japan they have like the best fruit. Like they'll have like a punnet of like six strawberries, but they'll be laid out in a box. And each one will have its own little styrofoam container. Yes. Or like a grape farm where they give you just the A1 grapes. Yes. Like that's so cool.

It's like $60. Yes. Exceptionally expensive. Like one apple. That's the best of the season. I will never forget when I was in Japan and we got like cream sandwiches that are like literally cream with like slices of kiwi and strawberry in them delicious delicious and the cream is not too sweet but obviously yes well that's the other thing it's like that balance of like not crazy yeah no no everything in moderation a sensation A sensation nonetheless. Yeah. Okay. So, apple.

Apple. I'm very tempted by the serpent with a dangling apple. You know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I didn't know that. Yeah, Charlie taught me that. Do you like that dance? What? The apple dance.

No, I don't know what you're talking about. Oh, Shellamoon. You know, the apple dance. No. Okay, sorry, go on. What do you think about sliced apples at McDonald's? Matt, have you taken advantage of that with your child yet? With what?

Sliced apples that now come in a Happy Meal? No. Oh, you've not taken your child to McDonald the challenge we just buy apples from there no but like if you're at mcdonald's already like on a road trip and you're like oh i'm absolutely like famished and there's no we don't go to mcdonald's health food store nearby if you'd have bought hummus and crackers or whatever you do what do you we don't go to mcdonald's what if you're trying you stop at oliver's then We're an Oliver's family We wait for Oliver's to come up

Where are you stopping? We're more of a pre-packaged We pre-pack the apple in our Tupperware And bring it with us But what if What Okay, so you're driving The package fell out of the car

Yeah So you have to go somewhere Where are you going to go? Wait, so you're driving You're driving to Sydney And the package fell out Yes, that's a. So you have to go somewhere. Where are you going to go? Wait, so you're driving. You're driving to Sydney and the package fell out. Yes, that's a great example. So where are you stopping? To KFC?

Just jump over the fence to some farmer's paddock and steal some carrots. Pluck on from a nearby forest. We were driving to Sydney and we went through the apple orchard. No, but where are you, like, of a day, if you are in a road trip with your partner, where are you, like, what are you stopping? What's your road snack? Probably just something from the server, like nothing. We wouldn't stop at a fast food restaurant necessarily.

You just watch them whiz by into the night. We're both vegetarian and all vegan. Me andda are both vegetarian we make it work what do you eat hungry jack's has a fabulous veggie burger do they yeah oh see i whenever i realize that they do have a veggie burger then like the next month it's gone oh well this one is not gone anywhere yeah that happened at mcdonald's mcdonald's that's a constant they were playing fast and loose. I can't keep up.

I don't really keep up with the whole... You don't get the news? I don't. KFC never bother. No, and I appreciate them for that. Totally. I'm like, you know what you're doing. It's in the title. I'm not going there.

No, I think I'll get the chippies. Ooh, those chippies are good. But aren't they... They're usually like animal oil chippies anyway. What I do not know about that oil does not hurt me. Matt, do you have to ruin everything? Sorry, it's not a Tupperware container filled with carrot sticks. I think that all those chips are just cooked in a big tub of lard.

Oil from pigs, aren't they? I mean, really. I don't think that they are. And the ice cream as well. Isn't that ice cream made from? The ice cream definitely has like milk solids that are like fat from animals. But I think that's just like a thickening agent. I think the oil would be monstrously expensive if it was an animal product.

I think it's much cheaper to go for a canola oil. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. I think like they're not just giving you extra canola oil. Maybe. Maybe. Yeah. I think like they're not just giving you extra lard for freedom. We don't know. I guess that's vegetarian. No, I think they say canola oil.

I think they do. If you're buying potato, can I tell you? I had – so like vegetarian, right? I'm vegetarian. Brag about it. And like I have these like semi-constant work conferences and there's always like a fun optional dinner. Yeah. Not paid and it's optional.

Not paid? Oh, they don't pay you a salary. But do they pay for dinner? Yes. Dinner is paid for. Okay. But like it's optional to go. It's not like a work hours.

But it's like it will be noted if you're not there kind of thing. But like it's always fabulous. So like why not? But. Good save. Yeah. Yes. Anyway.

But sometimes that fucking catering is so woeful. And here's the thing. Not every dish needs meat in it. No. Whether you're a vegetarian or not. Vegan is slightly more complicated, I think. Yes. Because, I don't know.

That's where you start to notice the absence. Yeah. But to create a diverse offering of vegetarian things is not hard. It's just not. And so when you go to an event where you can't do anything other than say four weeks beforehand, I'm vegetarian, and just cross your little fingers and toes that when you arrive, there'll be something that you can eat.

Anyway, I distinctly remember one of these that I went to last year. And the main was a soup or something. That's fine. Like a special vegetarian main. But then all the share plates on the table, one was a salad with bacon in it. That's so easy not to do. One was asparagus with salmon or or something a pig's head yeah

served out of a monkey's brain yes and then the other was roasted potatoes but they were all roasted in duck fat yes that's just the easiest thing to not do that it's like why would you choose to provide all of these like fundamentally like vegetarian dishes but just like speckle oh by the way yeah that's made with the blood of 10 000 turkeys yeah it's like you could just not do that yes yeah no it's so true i mean like that's it this has definitely become the hobby horse of this pod because we've brought it up like three times in the last like years but no i couldn't agree more it's so stupid yeah like why and then like yeah do an extravagant meat dish and keep it separate yes anyway um okay apple steve jobs um i don't know like yeah're putting in iPhone 12. Yeah. I think the Apple logo is just so good.

It's so good. How is it so good? It's so chic. Yeah. And, I mean. Bottoms up and the devil laughs. Yeah, it's very good. What about that solitary moment in 2009 to 2011 where everyone thought that cider was like really cool again

and like recorded league was the queen? Oh, yes, it was. Yeah, and we were all like, yeah, cider is amazing. Then we just realized it was just like sugar. Yeah. And we were all just dosed up. Oh, my God. What about Apple Bottom Jeans?

Boots with the fur? Yeah. Ah. Everybody was looking at her. What is an apple-bottom jean? I think it's a brand. Ah. Like, diesel jeans, but it's like apple-bottom jeans.

Ah? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I think, like, several apples falling out of kind of a hatch in an old barn is quite fabulous. Or what about bobbing for apples?

Yes, I've tried that on many occasions. It's really hard. It's so hard. Well, not with my, yeah, my dentistry. Maybe back in the day where like everyone had a point. With that set of teeth. I mean, that's a handicap. Exactly.

Certainly in medieval times when they used to gather around the town square to bob for the witches, their sharp little gnarled fangs would have done a better job at catching the apple's skin. Did you ever play like there's like a donut on a string and you have to like eat it without using your hands? If there's a shitty party game, I've played it. Okay, well, I'm just checking. That was a good time.

Cinnamon Done hanging off of a hill's hoist. Cinnamon Done. Anna? I don't know. Apples. Bobbing for apples in like a gardening bucket full of curled water. Cool. That's good.

Halloween is upon us. And do you know what that game doesn't depend on? What? Is delicious apples. Because no one's eating those apples. Oh, really? I don't think. Are you going to eat your prized apple?

Yeah, that's the treat. Oh, my God. Did I tell this? Oh, I can't remember if I've told this story. But Nina Mulhall, who was on the pod, her mother used to play a game in her house, which sounds very similar to Matt's upbringing. As Nina was saying, they weren't allowed fancy snacks or anything growing up.

But her mother would bring out an apple at the end of dinner and be like, oh, it's dessert. Here's the apple. And she would cut a slice of apple and they'd turn off all the lights in the house and she would hide. And then whoever found her got the slice of apple. And so all the kids would be running through the house. And then when her mother was telling this story.

Mother, where are you? Yeah, telling in their mud brick home. I love a little slice of apple. And she was like, well, yeah, I was like, and I was asking her mom about it. And she's like, oh, yeah. Like, it was how they would find me, just using the smell of the apple. And she thought she was like training super soldiers that have a heightened sense of smell and find the scented cut apple.

But they were just looking for the middle-aged woman hiding, holding a slice of apple in the dark. Slowly getting browner by the second. Yes, well, you know, a good game of Apple. Let's put that in. Okay. Yeah, that's great. We did mock her about it for like years. Well, and we'll continue to.

And bring her like apples and like Apple books and things. Here's an apple, but I've cut off a slice. Go and find it, won't you? A slice of apple. Sniff it out, children. That's good. Yeah. That's the only dessert in the studio.

But that really was like, oh my God. I mean, that's like what a wholesome way to raise your children by being crazy at them. Do you think the mother in the bunker who is cutting that slice of apple could be gwyneth would slice an apple her daughter apple there's an apple i forgot about the apple of her eye yeah yeah um maybe that's the apple she says you want to find her, sniff her out. And then she runs into the darkness.

Wait, are we saying that Gwyneth doesn't realize that her daughter isn't in the bunker? Maybe Gwyneth doesn't realize in her daughter. Maybe that's what Gwyneth is hunting around each night for. Trying to sniff out the apple. Sad. One day she'll find it. That's pretty good. I'm happy with that. That's sad. Yeah, that's sad. One day she'll find it. That's pretty good. I'm happy with that.

That's sad. Yeah. It's perfect. It's perfect. Okay, so the apple going into the bunker is more the idea of Gwyneth's daughter. The apple game. Yeah, it's that game,

except it's just Gwyneth looking for her daughter who isn't in the bunker. But don't tell her that. It'll ruin the game. She's eaten by a kraken. She was, yeah. Apple beaker. Actually, I don't think the that. It'll ruin the game. She's eaten by a kraken. She was, yeah. Apple beaker. Actually, I don't think the kraken ate her.

I think it just held her under until she drowned. I don't think krakens are really eating. No, they're just menaces. Yeah. They're about the game. Some they hold. And when I say held under, she was a meter away from the top. I'm going under.

She could see the gulls flying overhead. Yeah. But that was out gulls flying overhead. Yeah. But that was out of reach. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Out of reach. Okay, that's good.

Yeah. What an apple. We are introducing the game of Apple into the Bunker. Yeah. Bye-bye. listener welcome back it's time time lazy susan take us home oh i wish i could okay the very final little game um of today is to decide which cult movie is getting into the bunker now i'm happy to accept a broad a broad swath of cult movies. But there's obviously like, I think it's like we're now living in kind of a post-cult movie age

because everything kind of becomes cult movie. But what do you think? What film is going to get put into the archive, the little museum, the little library? Okay, so when you say cult, what do you mean? Like cult classic. As in like it just isn't like the, you know, it's not like Lord of the Rings. Like everyone's seen it.

No, it has to have been a flop at the time it came out. Uh-huh. Completely like seemed like a failure. And then rose through the years into a place of prominence to become very famous. Oh, okay. So it has to be famous now. Well, I mean. Like a cult level of fame.

Yeah. I mean like. So it's not obscure famous now. Well, I mean... Or like a cult level of fame. Yeah. So it's not obscure. It can be obscure as long as it... I mean, probably those two things are likely to be the same. I'm looking at the cult movie now. See, like Plan 9 from Outer Space is a great version of a cult movie. Or Pink Flamingos is a great cult movie. Okay.

Yep, yep, yep. Right. I was going to say the first thing that comes to mind, one of my all-time favorite movies is Fantastic Planet. Ooh. La Planète du Sauvage, or whatever it is in French. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This kind of psychedelic animation from, I presume, the 70s, from France,

about a planet inhabited by gigantic blue beings and their pets are, are they called omes? Which are humans running around like ants. And some of them are free and they live in the gardens and some of them are kept as pets. And one of them escapes and causes havoc. And it's so good. I fucking love that movie.

What does it cause? What? Havoc! Yeah. I like that. Yeah. So that's good. I don't know if that's like a cult film or just like a film that I've seen.

Do you think it has like a community of people around it that like... You could like go on the internet and look up like fantastic planet movie poster and find one for like 70 bucks yeah like there are people that are obsessed yeah and would go to like a cult movie like if they put on it um the astor theater yeah like people would go yeah um or like watership down okay i don't think that's a cult classic oh okay never mind i think cold class i mean like watership Down. Okay. I don't think that's a cult classic. Oh, okay. Never mind.

I think cult class... I mean, like Watership Down, definitely beloved children's film. Children's film? Well, children would watch those rabbits run around. Oh, my God. And murder each other. Yeah. Yeah.

It's in its hard time. And that's got... Who is it? Richard. Richard. Richard. Richard. It's got Richard. Doing the Richard. Richard. It's got Richard.

Doing the narration in his iconic Welsh accent. I don't know. Okay. Looking here at the list of iconic cult films. Who's list? The Forbes. Oh. I mean, there's some great ones on here that I'm like immediately.

I mean, obviously, they've got Priscilla on here. They do have Romy and Michelle's High School Reunion on here, which is like a film that I definitely watch at least once a year. It's so good. The writing on that film, the casting, everything about that film is just dead to rights a perfect film. Lisa Kudrow is just so funny. She's so funny.

But it was like written by, no, sorry, directed by the guy who like was like season six showrunner of The Simpsons during the like Homer goes to space era. And it's like got that classic Simpsons sensibility of like jokes per minute, absurd, like bizarre little throwaway moments. And then like a really satisfactory overarching plot. I don't know. It feels so good. Heathers apparently. Heathers. I mean, like Clockwork Orange feels like the cult film But like I love that movie

But like it's a bit like Yeah Yeah You got your flowers Yeah She's kind of stepped out of her cult classic Into just mainstream famous cinema Yeah like cinema classic rather than cult classic

Yes Do you know what is a cult classic? Drop Dead Gorgeous I fucking love that movie. It's so good. Donnie Darko. I mean, I guess. Yeah.

It does. The Rocky Horror Picture Show is really fucking good. It's good. I think if it came out, if you discovered that film without any context it remains just like so potent it's so funny yes it's kind of like much funnier than like it's like we've seen we're so saturated in it now that you forget how fucking brilliant it is and like that tim curry performance is just insane totally and then to be surrounded by like that patricia quinn performance like doing that weird french accent or transylvanian

accent and then like lil nell and like oh susan sarandon and barry boswick it's like they're just there's not a bad performance in that film. Meatloaf was there. Actually, maybe there was more. No, he was fine. He was fine. They thankfully killed him off pretty quick. Yeah, he died in the way that he needed to die.

Yeah. Barbarella. Yes. That is good. Oh my God, they have Josie and the Pussycats here. That's a perfect film. I think we're both looking at different cult film lists. And some of the films on here, I'm like,

I do not think that Charlie and the Chocolate Factory is a cult classic. Yeah, I guess that only falls under cult classic if it's like, it wasn't particularly successful at the time it came out. I mean, we'll be remiss if we didn't mention But I'm a Cheerleader, which is on this list which is very good that is good uh oh labyrinth oh my god labyrinth is so good but we already have labyrinth representation in the bunker yeah that little disgusting thing yes 1982's the thing john carpenter that film is fucking perfect It's good I mean when you

If you get now Like that puppet of the head that's got spider's legs That's walking away Oh my god that's perfect Yeah that's good Matt do you have any favourite cult films? I think I haven't really seen very many

I guess there's The Room, I know Oh yeah Yeah, I've seen that one And there was one that I used to love watching And like showing to all my friends when they came over I was like, you've got to watch this movie, it's so funny It was called Zardos Have you seen that movie?

No Zardos It's really wacko. It's about this like, it's like a futuristic, it's set, it's like made in like 1970s or something. I've seen an image of this before. Yeah, because it's a cult film. Sean Connery in like a weird like Borat style.

Yeah, so basically the premise is there's these like advanced beings that have taken over earth and they've like made this giant fake god called Zardos, which is a giant floating stone head. And they like, they tell the, the, the giant floating head tells all the people of earth to like like just essentially shoot each other all the time with guns. Oh, my God. And it spews out all these like rifles out of its mouth and people just go around killing each other. That sounds amazing. Yeah, it's hilarious. And the quote, the really funny quote from it is like the Zardos,

like God face thing is like, the gun is good. The penis is evil. my god i need to see this the penis shoots seeds and makes new life and poisons the earth with a plague of men as once it was but the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of all the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill. Oh, my God. Amazing. Yeah, that's a pretty funny one because it's just like so many hilarious like B-grade moments from it as well. That sounds great.

And the outfit is so sexy. The outfit is crazy. Also, I love the tagline on the poster of beyond 1984, beyond 2001, beyond love, beyond beyond death like what i feel like they when they made it they were like this is going to be like the new like cult science fiction you know movie well like not even cult like the like a new like blockbuster science movie, but it's just so bad. It's just so terrible. I'm watching it this afternoon. That giant stone head is incredible.

Yeah. That is very bunker adjacent. Yeah. Okay, well, you know what? Let's have, I think we might have to put that on Movie Club and watch Zardos. Zardos. Yeah, I'll join in on that one.

Amazing. Yeah. Perfect. Okay, cool. Well, Zardos, we'll come back to you. Put a pin in Zardos. Yeah. I think as far as cult films go,

Jawbreaker is so, like such a fundamental text for my entire personality that it's like, to me that is like the cult film because it's not a good film like structurally but it's like everything about it informed exactly the person that i am now it's like four evil women who like like kill their friend by accident by shoving a jawbreaker lolly in her mouth and it gets lodged in her throat so much that she suffocates and dies while in the trunk of their car on her birthday and then they hide the body and like the evil queen of the friendship group rose mcgowan like tries to keep it a secret so it doesn't ruin her chances at being prom queen and it's so good

yeah yeah like that's to me a pretty fucking perfect film that's pretty good yeah i like that yeah and then love which the love Ooh, I do love that movie. Incredible. A lot of great blue eyeshadow representation in that film. If you've not heard of this film, there's a woman who is a filmmaker who self-financed, made this film in the style of, like recently, like in the last 10 years, made this film in the style of like a 70s like drive-in movie called the love witch about a woman who uses her evil love magic to like lure in men and every element

everything on frame is like immaculately styled to look exactly exactly exactly like a 70s film like not it goes beyond pastiche or recreation it is like to a letter and she made the film over like two and a half years only shooting when she like made the set for the next place and she designed and made every single thing that you see in frame and that's why it took her so long because she had such an eye for detail and it was so built around exactly executing the world of the 70s kind of occult film. It's so cool. It's amazing.

It's just like a feast for the eyes. And she plays the love witch. The love witch. Which is incredible and she's impeccable. She's the love witch. The love witch. Which is incredible. And she's impeccable.

It kind of follows a similar format to, what's that 60s film with the pink outfit? Oh, how the, oh, the way of the world. Oh, how things go. Oh, fuck. That movie. What's it called? Oh, fuck. You know what I'm talking about.

No. Like, oh. Oh it called? Oh, fuck. You know what I'm talking about? No. Like, Oh, Oh, what? Um, Oh, where like the,

the film centers around like this fabulous woman who like, um, every, every kind of like scene or like chapter in the film is her relationship with a different man. So it's kind of similar in that way. Cause the love, which kind of follows many different men, the relationship with them.

What is that film called? What a Way to Go? What a Way to Go. Oh, What a Way to Go. Yeah, What a Way to Go. Yeah. Oh, it's so good. That is an amazing movie.

You know, Old Pinky. No, I've not seen this film. You've not seen What a way to go no oh my god it's amazing there is a scene there's no everyone in what a way to go where she's like at a uh like a dinner party like a fabulous like um like over the top dinner party and every every like cut not every scene but every cut in this scene she wears a different outfit so like the first cut is like her walking in and she's wearing a gown and then it cuts to a different angle and she's walking over to pick up champagne she's wearing a different outfit and then it cuts again to her saying hello to a guest and she's wearing a different outfit

it goes for like three minutes and there's like infinite costume changes and it's never like explained it doesn't really need to be explained no other guests like act in a way about it it's just like well yeah they just want to show off more outfits get it girl it's so good that's so good yeah oh love Love it. But Jawbreaker, we could do that. I would love Jawbreaker. I just ask if we could just have... We could do like a poster of Fantastic Planet perhaps or an object from the movie because all of the pet humans have a little necklace that they wear

and then all of the big blue aliens wear a watch that can like magnetize and bring the pet to you so you can't run away um so we could have that object or maybe just the poster listen i think we can do that we can can have that organized. Yeah. Yeah. Perfect. I don't think anyone has to wear the necklace. I think it could just be an object, you know, next to the fertility idol. No, I mean, I think we might as well get the utility out of this. Why doesn't everyone in the bunker have to wear that necklace?

Oh, no. That's so evil. And then we press a little button. Meeting in the hall. Now. Yeah. I think that's good.'s implement that yeah okay well magnetized necklace drag them around by the neck it's quite good yeah um or like we're viewing

jawbreaker now into the small cinema viewing pod yeah and i think we do need a little cinema viewing room oh in the library but like one of those shitty small cinemas from nova oh yes like the three love seats yes incredibly uncomfortable but you kind of a like you can't say that because you're trying to be sophisticated i'm a sophisticated young woman i think the smaller cinemas had the better seats the 200 seater at the Nova has the most uncomfortable seats. Yes. And then the smaller cinema has the big couches. The kind of plushier.

Yeah. Look, the seats at Hoyt's that recline are better than all of those seats. Yeah. No, listen, you're not wrong. Like, if we're comparing seats but but you then have to watch you can't say that because deadpool and wolverine yeah you have to choice between whether your eyes are in pain or your body yeah don't forget your brain but yes uh okay great yeah okay so little cinema room yes extension Okay, great. Yeah. Okay, so Little Cinema Room.

Yes. Extension to the library, which is just showing Jawbreaker. They also will show the last three seconds of Deadpool and Wolverine. Oh, good. Yes, yes, yes. And sadly, we can't get the DVD of Rat Race out of that player, so they won't be playing that at the cinema. No.

People are like, is Rat Race on? And they're like, where did you hear about that it's like we uh yeah that technology is not available to us yeah well that's good yeah i like that wow and maybe zardox we'll see i'm tempted by that giant floating head. Giant rock head, pissing out guns. Maybe we'll sense check the movie first. Yeah, we need to just make sure that it belongs in the double feature. I did it. I killed a teen dream.

Deal with it. Yes. And Apple, searching for Apple. Good luck, Gwyneth. And what was the first thing that we did? Oh, the cleaning product darling morning fresh and a mob named hagboard i'm sorry gumption and a mop named hagboard i love it god what a week oh this is some solid choices i mean we're doing it for the people at the bunker

topic choices solid the the things from the topics, even more solid. Please ignore that thumping noise of the krakens at the bunker walls. Yes. Watch the movie. You're safe in here. It's okay. While the walls will hold one more night. Do you think the Meg is a bit sad that she can't enjoy a world filled with water?

Yes, but she looks down upon those free water Megs. Ah, yes. Yeah? Yeah. I think she's like, I've got Mega Malali in here. What the fuck do you have? Yeah, exactly. You know?

Yeah. Kelsey Grammar? Fuck off. Oh, that's good. Yeah. All right, great. Okay. Oh, what a week. Thank you for listening, great. Okay. Oh, what a week.

Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you for listening and subscribing to the Patreon. Yes. Sorry we did that whispering thing at the start. I know it was weird. It's Matt's fault. I'm sorry. Yeah, it's okay.

I was grumpy at the start. Now I feel better. Because it's over? Yeah. Okay. Okay. okay okay death to everyone was recorded at natural habitat studios by matt shears our theme song and music was provided by edie centric and angus leslie there you got something to say to us send it to us at death to everyone part of gmail.com Thank you.