Death To Everyone - Death To... Douches, Kinks & Sewing Accessories Feat. Mandy Moobs

Episode Date: February 10, 2025

Hola Listener!This week we are joined by the ever lovely Mandy Moobs as we discuss Douches, Kinks and Sewing Accessories.Buckle in! Its a wild ride.Follow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo That's really good, Matt. Beautiful singing voice. Matt is just, because Matt normally plays us the track in the studio listener, Matt would normally just have us listen to it. But today, Matt filled in. Because he can't do it. Yeah, Matt's having trouble. And what he lacks as a producer, he makes up for as a singer, as a songbird in our sordid cage.

Matt, do it again for me. Oh, that's good. Okay. We shouldn't have done this. I wonder if we send Matt into the mine. He'll die first. Welcome to Death to Everyone, listener. Hello listeners.

Sulang you're to you all. Oh, everything's gone wrong today. My name is Lazy Susan. My name is Zelda Moon. Good with those contemporary homosexual references. And also in the studio today we have recording us our space car driver, Matt. Hi. Hi, hi.

Hi, hi. Get in the car. Now sing it for me. Get in my car. Ayoye. Ayoye. Get in the car. Now sing it for me. Get in my car. Oh. Wow. I've been warned against your kind. Today, listener, we have a very special guest.

Lazy, do you want to introduce your sister? Oh. Okay. She's in Four Diva. Well, actually she is in Four Diva. No, we're collecting them like, what do you say? Infinity stones. Seems like we're collecting them like small figurines of World War II veterans. Today we have another one in the studio, our third in the collection of season four Divas.

Please welcome to your ears and other orifices, Mandy Amanda Moves. Hi listeners. How are you? Give us a little oink. It's a little one. A little squeal. Let out a little squeal. A little oink-a.

A little oink-a. Nothing about your Grindr profile. A little oink-a. No, I changed my Grindr profile. What's your Grindr profile? I don't do a little oink anymore. What is it? Visiting.

Oh! Have you been, wait, so you've just landed in Melbourne two days ago. How has Melbourne's Grindr been treating you? They say a lot of like, oh, hey Mandy. Hey. No. How are you? I'm like, the funniest one though,

it says discreet top. And he's like, oh my God, Mandy moves. You're like, the funniest one though, it says discreet top. And he's like, Oh my God, Mandy moves. So discreet. So mask. Oh, the grind. Oh, I don't know. This is there for fun. Do you know what I, I mean, I'm very thankful, but saddened that my time on drag race, I

was not on the apps at all. So like I missed out on the like silly fun of being on a Grindr app during a Drag Race run. Well, your time's not over yet, darling. I think it is. I love that you've forgotten what it's like and you think that it's silly fun to be de-sexualised by everyone around you. I'm true, but that happens anyway. Uh, okay. So welcome happens anyway. Uh, okay.

So welcome to Melbourne. And is this your first time on a podcast? Uh, yes. Well, yes, it is actually. You were on, you, you had an interview on, you read it well. With Jean Liza. Oh yeah. I did that with live.

Yeah. Yeah. That was cool. Why wasn't I interviewed? Well, do you want the finance? I just think they just wanted me and Vibe. I don't know. We're just like really fun.

Cause I've done warm and welcoming. I was in a conflict of interest. I should ask Jean this because I've done Jean's podcast and we know each other. Well, that's probably why she was this because I've done Jean's podcast and we know each other well. That's probably why. She was like, I've already had her. She hasn't collected me yet. God, those press were so weird.

I know, but yeah, officially it's my first podcast. And this is going to be the most important podcast that you ever do. Well, to this day, I would say yes. Yeah. And all days in the future. Yeah. Yeah. I always look back and remember, you had my first.

That's right. The growing red lights above us set the mood. Well, and you walked into the studio today, and you said, it's not as much of a shithole as I thought it was going to be. Honestly, I was imagining a cave with a red flickering light. But it's quite lovely. Well, the celestial void is quite beautiful. Yes.

It's a darkness that knows no bounds. And we've got velvet curtains. Oh, and we did put in some curtains. Oh, it's lovely. And so for, if you're a virgin listener coming just for the appeal of your pig mother. Coming. What are we doing?

Good. You understand the tone of this podcast perfectly. Coming. Coming. Did I hear Kami? Then, Zelda, what is the show about? Well, this is our weekly podcast where we go through a range of incredible, groundbreaking topics. And each week from those topics, we preserve the best thing that we can come up with to be a beacon of hope for future mankind and we'll preserve it safely in our doomsday bunker. Yes, we established that doomsday bunker a year and a bit ago. Yeah. And it's going well. And it's filling up. Yeah. So each week we take on... Um, so each week we do that. And do do.

Yeah. So we do that. And this week we have miss Amanda moobs to help us. Yeah. So I'm going to try my best. Yeah, why don't you give us a little audio cue for the introduction of you. Hi listeners. No, you have a fucking triangle in your hand. Yes, no, it's a surprise.

Oh my God, cut that out, cut that out, cut that out, cut that out. Wow. I'm so sorry. God damn. Well, that's the end of the show. No, I'm a listener. You listen to the show. I do listen to this podcast.

What do you think? What are your observations? It's very funny. Like very high brow. Really sense of my humor. Tickles me well. Tickles your fanny. And what do you think?

Like, cause you've never met Zelda Moon. Yes, we had a car ride here. Yes, but not before this. No, it was so funny when you started the met Zelda Moon. Yes, we had a car ride here. Yes, but not before this. No, it was so funny when you started the group chat today. I was like, Oh, I should follow these people. Send request. Worst is when you have that realization, but it's not follow. It's follow back.

Oh, babe. Okay. Um, did happen just recently too. I opened for Bianca Del Rio just recently. Wait, that is. Yeah. I hope you opened up wide. She gave me 20 minutes to warm up the crowd.

I'm like, okay, fun. Love that. I was talking about sex. Not with Bianca. No, not that face. That was the last time you opened for me. about sex? Not with the anchor. No, not that face. That was the last time you were with her. And then she's just like, Oh yeah, I follow you on Twitter and like everything. Like, yeah, you're a good time girl.

If you want to shout out everyone in LA, let me know. Book your tickets. Oh my God. That's so sweet. Thank you. That's gorgeous. But Yankadel Ria, amazing. Third greatest female artist of all time. Yeah. That's gorgeous. But Yankadale Ria, amazing. Third greatest female artist of all time.

Yeah. After? Taylor Swift. And? Kylie Minogue. Okay, good. Oh yeah, and then probably Beyonce. Maybe fourth.

Wait, the Taylor Swift part was a joke, right? Yes, it was. Thank God. We've got to support our indie pop artists. So brave and important. Poor Darlene. She's struggling. She's only got one private jet.

Did you see how strong her legs were the other day? Did I see how strong they were the other day? Yeah. She was at the Grammys or whatever in that red, but her legs were so muscular. Can I say with Taylor Swift, the Taylor Swift of it all, I hate that she dances at all those parties. Have some decorum. You know, like there was like Taylor got up and danced for Sabrina Carpenter at the Grammys and no one else was dancing. And I'm like, because it's a sit down event.

Do you know what I mean? I was like, don't like dancing. Why don't. In inappropriate times. There's no appropriate time to dance. This frivolous waving of the limbs around for attention. It's actually quite disgusting. You don't like to wiggle.

And unless it's a box staffed clock. You do like a box staff. It's actually quite disgusting. You don't like to wiggle? Unless it's a boxed-after clock. You do like a boxed-after. It's choreographed by Max Drag Queen. Jiggle it or wiggle it? Also, I just, I need to say a quick apology. Max, who lives in Melbourne, has not yet been on this pod. And we've had two interstate divas before Max, which I think is very- Yeah, what's that about, Lazy?

Let's see. unresolved tension. She's still Hader? LAUGHTER Deeply to the max. Oh, the room is mixed up. HBO Max. The carry-on. But no, so I do need, we will have Max on very soon, hopefully. We should, yeah.

We will. We've got Luce as well. She's in Melbourne. Oh, true. She's been on three times. You just couldn't hear it. It's okay. She doesn't listen. She's great.

She came out last night for the gig. She was fun. She did? Yeah. She went to Footscray for you. Yeah. That's very sweet. We had a tequila shot and a little, little wiggle together.

You were forcing everyone to drink. I was. I'm an enabler. I love it. We are drinking rose right now. Cause out of a mug. You arrived to the celestial void and you said to Matt, producer Matt, where's the nearest bottle?

And you were like peering out the window. Like you're in a window. Yeah. I'm like, you have a window. You're gazing around and Matt was like, oh, it's just a half block. And you're like, I'm going, going to get Rosé. Yes. And I did.

And you're welcome. I, we really should have provided it to be honest, but you did very well. That's why I'm here. I've got a big day in drag. Yeah. You're going out to Geelong later. I am going to should have provided it to be honest, but you did very well. That's why I'm here. I've got a big day in drag. Yeah. You're going out to Geelong later. I am going to Geelong, going to a Reese's bar. Oh my God.

I think that's what it's called. Recess. Recess. Like, you know, you have lunch break and recess. We have, we called it little lunch. Little lunch. We had little lunch and big lunch. What did we call it?

Playtime. Playtime. Playtime. Recess on lunch. We had, we didn we call it? Playtime. Playtime. Playtime. We had recess on lunch. We had, we didn't call it recess. That's very American. Did we call it recess? No, we had-

We definitely called lunch. We had play, lunch and, and lunch. Play lunch like the little lunch. Little like 30, 15 minutes, 20 minutes. It was like 20 minutes. Yeah. 20. Like big lunch was like an hour.

You couldn't really get a lot done in, in play lunch. And it was a real- Was this a play? What did we call it? Yeah, but like if you were in the middle of a game, you know, if you're playing a game, you couldn't like get a lot of the plot out. What game would you play? At least you'd play handball.

No, we were playing like imagination games. Oh gosh. Storytelling. Like, you know, like running around being like, I'm a wizard. Oh, D&D. Or playing dinosaur. We were, I mean, like I've been playing a bit of D&D recently, and it's not as much like, um.

What's your character build? My, my character, she's a, um, she's a wood elf. Um, she's, she, Lilith O'Crogan, and she is level four. She actually, um, she married a dwarf though, um, about 600 years, and left her life of kind of high end, you know, like, you know, elves are quite high end. And so she left her kind of life to live in his swamp and then he left her, no, he left her and died and she was heartbroken. He left her and then he died. And she was in the swamp and she thought, why am I wasting my life here in this swamp? I could be so much more. And so she's going out on adventures now.

And then at the end of our last journey, she found out that her husband is still alive. Oh, the past. And so, yeah, she's going to take vengeance, I believe, at some point in our questing. And when you, when you play this D&D, is it with others? You know what's so fucked is that we're playing this game of D&D, um, with a straight man who is friends of my boyfriend, who's the straightest man in the world. He's a surveyor and he is, he's like, I'm a wizard.

You can't see me inside of my cloak. And I'm like, okay. And then my sister, if you listen to the pod, you know who my sister is. And she is like, I am an old woman who's taking vengeance on the people that killed my family. And then I'm like, I'm an old woman who's restarting her life and taking vengeance on her ex-husband. And then my boyfriend is like, I'm an old woman.

And so essentially we're like, we're all fabulous old women. It's the golden girls. Well, we're like very first wives club. Okay, if you know that. I'm Diane Keaton. Yeah. So anyway, that's um, play lunch for you. But yeah, recess out in Geelong and you're doing it with Brenda Brett.

Yes, I am tonight. So you've done activities almost with all the Divas. I have. I've just got Max to go and then I'm on down. I don't think I'll get time for Max. Well, yeah. See if you can sort it out. I try to, but she's, she's bulletin blessed. Well, that's it. We've asked her so many times to come on this pod.

What was it talking about? Yeah. Bianca. Oh yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

Bianca. Yeah. Uh, wasn't following me. I was like, I follow you. I follow me back. I send the, I send you the message and stuff. Turns out I wasn't following her. Well, that's a great story. No, that is, I was like, number one, it is so cool that she asked you. Um, but I

was secretly hoping that when she came to Melbourne, she was going to be like, I'll get the other diva and get me. But because many moons ago, I commented on a Bianca Del Rio Instagram post being like, who gave this man two black eyes? And then underneath. I see. It was funny. She's the roast queen. And then I got a message,

I got a comment underneath that, it was early days of Instagram. So there was like five people there. And she was like, the same bitch that was early days of Instagram. So there was like five people there and she was like the same bits that never gave you a gig. And I was really hoping that she would inadvertently give me a gig. And I could make that the whole theme of my life. Now it's like, you're done.

You gave me a gig, but she didn't give you a gig and maybe she remembers. She's definitely a queen that holds a grudge. I hope so. Absolutely. I just, I think she's like, I mean, that's campus tits if she did. I've never like been scared of another queen before always. I've never like lost my confidence, but when I walked in the room, my hair stood up in the back of my neck.

I was like, Oh, I am scared of you. She's small. She's fun size. Yeah. Yeah. Like how tall? Probably a little, little bit smaller than me. Yeah. Right. And I'm like eight size. Yeah. Yeah. Like how tall? Um, probably a little, a little bit smaller than me. Yeah.

Right. And I'm like eight foot. Yeah. Yeah. You're a Navi. Yes. I don't know when I, I think I'm like 165. You're taller than that.

Wow. You're five 11. 107. I just have really big shoes. How tall is she? I've never seen her standing up before. You, Mandy Moose. I'm only on my knees.

So crazy. Peering through that little hole. Okay. Now, every week on this show listeners will know we have one of us and if there's a guest, the guest, explain what the end of the world will be. Apocalypse now. Okay. Okay. Why have we never called the segment that will be. Apocalypse now. Okay, okay, okay, okay. Why have we never called the segment that?

Apocalypse now. Okay, well, but now exclamation point of reflect this back to my own life. Like, have you ever thought about killing people? And how would you do it? Yes. Constantly weekly. Yeah. Every day, probably.

Right now. I... Let me have a wine. Poison. But speaking of, I love pigs. Speaking of killing people, I love pigs. Speaking of killing people. I love pigs. No, it all makes sense.

Very shortly. I love pigs and I love poison. I feel like they're the most fascinating things. Why poison? I just love poison. I love how it like just affects the body in different ways, depending on like, I think about it a lot. Once again, I think you've discovered the two core points of this podcast.

Yeah. I love poison and the ways that it affects the body. And I just love calm. You are this podcast incarnate. Yeah. Oh, why don't you get drowned in calm? Hmm. I don't know.

It takes six centimeters. That's disgusting. Choking hazards. Um, that was a time it was, but not anymore. We're talking about poison. Poison. Yeah. It's, it's kind of fascinating how it like congeals the blood. And like for some, or sometimes it like affects just the muscles or the heart.

I think that's, it's great. Yeah. Love that. So keep that in mind listeners. Um, okay. And then pigs, I just love pigs. They're like so intelligent, but also tasty. Yeah. Hmm.

Can I ask quickly? Yes. And this isn't going to be the category though. It seems like an oversight. What's your favorite pig? Like who's your favorite pig? Pepper. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh no. That's very like. Miss Piggy. She's good. She's good? Yeah? Yeah. Oh, no. That's very like- Miss Piggy. She's good. She's good. She's fabulous. I would say it's kind of hard to beat Miss Piggy.

Miss Piggy. Yeah. Babe. Do we like babe? Ooh, babe. He's a bit of a simp. Like he doesn't really get a lot done on his own. Well, you had that two movies.

Yeah. Or three? Was that a third? What about Wilber from Charlotte's Web? No. It's about Charlotte. It's about Charlotte. I third? What about Wilbur from Charlotte's Web? No. It's about Charlotte. It's about Charlotte. I don't care about that.

It's her web. Yeah. It's just his pig pen. But she gets him saved. Amnesty. Well, she did a lot of good work. Because she's some pig. Hmm.

Yeah. I wish I saw her die though. Charlotte. Yeah. Yeah, she just went away. Oh God, that's so sad. She was so dramatic. So I need to be alone.

Hmm. I'm dying now. Bye. Bye. Bye bye. I wish spiders to be alone. I'm dying now, bye. Bye bye. I wish spiders would be less visible when they died in my house. What spiders have you got at your place? Daddy Long Legs.

Aye. Yes. We have the big, like we have like what I call tattoo spiders and I think they're red backs, but I don't know. I think they're male and female read back because they've got the shape Who spider you know, they look like they build a tattoo on a dank man's neck Like they've got like a bulbous like a giant like black balloon back end

Yeah, and then they have giant spiky legs Sounds like every spider. No Most spiders don't look like tattoos. Like you wouldn't get a huntsman tattoo because their legs are often like, like they're kind of tucked together or weirdly like place. Whereas like, you know, tattoo spiders have grace. They've got symmetry. Yeah.

They're terrifying. Well, if you get a good artist, if you move during the procedure, anyway, poison. Pigs and poison. Pigs and poison. Okay. So I've decided maybe I want to kill the world. Anyway, there's going to be a pig farmer. Yeah.

Bill Yuna made all his money, like raising pigs. Amazing. Cause I don't know, pigs are fabulous. Farmer hog it. Yeah. Everyone, oh farmer hog it. Oh, that will do pig. Anyway, so he's made his money in pigs.

He's invested a lot of time and effort into them. And he's breeded them. He's sold them. Yeah. But famously, as we all know, pigs destroy the environment. They just tear everything up. Everything just pretty much, he's just raised so many pigs that he's turned the whole world into a sty. Yeah.

Is everything just a mud. Wow. Completely. Factory farming going low. Yes, yes, but he's made a lot of money. So like, he's living the whole whole whole life. Yeah. Anyway, so the world's gone via destruction of pigs.

By stye. Yes, by a stye. Oh, sexy. Anyway. But famously, there's people in the world that don't enjoy pigs. Well, look at her. And don't partake in the meat. In the meat of the pig.

Yeah. That's both of us. Oh, yes. I forgot you do that. Yeah. I'm pescatarian, like I'm a grande or pink. So unfortunately there will be survivors. And I don't like that.

How did the meat eaters die of sty? Oh, I'm getting to it. Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. So good. So that's how like, okay.

So, but the, the billionaire has made all this money. Give him a name. I need a name. Just give whatever comes to the top of your mind. This is the name of the billionaire. I need him to have a name. Tilly. Don't be silly. I want to say Matilda, but it might be Tilly. Yeah. Tilly and last name. Yes.

Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Oh, what can I say? It's kind of like a Gina Reinhart figure. Yeah, just Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Tilly-es. Oh, walking up the stage. Tilly-es. Kind of like a Gina Reinhart figure.

Yeah, Tilly. Tilly. Yeah, so Tilly's made all this money. So there's no, everything's a star. There's no buildings, everything's a star. All the pigs have shitting everywhere. It's running into the waters. Everyone's dying of, what's the, dysentery?

Yeah. Yeah, everyone the dysentery? Yeah. Yeah. Everyone has dysentery. Everyone's shitting everywhere. Blood and calm and everyone's shitting blood and calm. Yeah. So they can't, but also because the world's, it's completely just full of shit.

You can't. So the Amazon jungle. Yep. Shit. Shit. Absolutely gone. Just poop. Piss and poop.

Yeah. Blood. Frozen. Blood. New York City Piss and poop. Yeah. Poop, poop, poop, poop, poop. Blood. Frozen. Blood. Just thawed. In New York City? Oh, just a mess. Just a big slip and slide.

Through the streets. Yeah. So famously you just can't grow anything anymore. So there's no plants. Tilly, you've killed everyone. Or Tilly's killed everyone. There's no plants. But who's buying the, like what's she selling?

Pigs. It's not a well thought out way. I think you know, it's good. Yeah, I'm on board. So anyway, buying as well. They're like, why? There's stars everywhere, but I need more pig. But you can still eat the pig and still survive.

But unfortunately you two are dead because we can't make plants anymore. Oh, vegetarians die out. We die of starvation. Starvation. Because like the thing about poison is, it's not a quick death. I really like a drawn out situation. I don't want an instant stratification. I want to watch people suffer.

Yeah. And I feel like that's a joyful thing for me to do. Like Phantom of Thread, like a slow poisoning. It's like whenever I play like a video game, it's never the quick kill. I want to do status effects and watch them like squam. I don't understand anything you said. I do get it? Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's good. I love that build. Yeah. I love that too. Yeah. Like a poison defense type build is my always go to. That's so fun. Yeah. Honestly, I love it. Like

especially in Pokemon, I love the poison stall. So no matter if you put, if you're poisoning your opponent, no matter what happens in eight turns, you're dead. So maybe give the world eight days and everyone dies. Like a god, but with one more day. I love that. But anyway, so everyone who doesn't eat pork is now dead. Starvation. But everyone else is eating pork and having a fabulous time because there's nothing else to eat. Dancing on that.

Because everything else is gone. So we got this overrun by pigs, but the Tilly, um, just can't spend her money on anything. And so she's decided to kill off the whole world. Oh, because you're going to buy. Yes. There's only things to sell. So she's going to inject some poison hormones.

The mones. The mones, toxic mones into the pigs. And then honestly, disinfect the whole world with the poison. Just for fun because she ran out of things to buy. Just for fun. Honestly something to do. I wanted to buy a new Birkin bag. I couldn't.

Why? They only sell pigs. My pigs. And shit. Bags of shit. Famously pig leather is not as luxurious as cow leather and here we are. Oh, a bit of bacon. In that market, Miss Trisha could finally sell that disgusting rainbow Birkin.

Anyway. Don't worry. I just think about that Birkin all the time. Oh, I saw her on Instagram today wearing a brown wig. She looks so good in that brown wig. Trisha Paytas? You don't know who that is? I don't know people.

Oh, okay. Oh, really? I'm really bad with people. No, that know people. Okay. Ooh, really? I'm like that. I'm really bad with people. No, that's good. Yeah. People, names and places. Yeah. Or things.

Focus on, you'd be terrible at eye spy. Yeah. Awful. Because I need glasses. Name a woman. Michelle. Tilly. Yeah, Tilly.

Yes. Tilly. Yeah. Tilly. Yeah. Anyway, so world's full of shit. Everyone dies. Toxic hormones kills off everyone else. Yeah. And then the vat, the, um, the, the door to the, the bunker opens and someone

whispers, come down here, you know, calm, calm down here. There's come, come down here. Yeah. Um, I like it. So pig death with Tilly, umilly then deciding to end it all. But does Tilly kill herself or does she just stay alive? Haven't decided. We'll make a decision, darling.

I think she's going to die. She dies. She does. She saves the last cutlet for herself. Well, it's kind of like, what's that castaway movie with that guy? Castaway? It's a castaway.

Tom Hanks? Yeah, that's the one with the ball. Yeah. Um, Wilson? Wilson, Wilson, bloody like, like he tried to kill himself on that island. Cause he was the only one. That was so upsetting. Yeah.

Yeah. I think I'd be the same boat too. I'll just. Boat? He had a raft. Um, situation? when he had to remove his tooth with that ice skate, I hated that. He didn't have to. He chose to. Yeah. The camera was there and he's like, I have to do something.

Get his all-stars teeth. Yeah. Um, okay. That's really good. I know. I kill you probably take too much moans too. Yeah. She's on the mega moans. Yeah. It's good enough for the pigs. That's really good. I know. I kill you probably take too much mones too. Yeah. She's on the mega mones. Yeah. It's good enough for the pigs. It's good enough for me.

Yeah. She takes it straight to the blood. Is that what it's called? Yeah. Yeah. There was a lot of discussion about GMOs at my community school growing up. We have to do a lot of presentations about GMOs. Are you for or against?

Well, I don't think human society could exist without GMOs to be honest. Everything's a GMO. When you think about it. You're a GMO. I was for it because I think the plants, I think it's good. Because you make like a better pest resistant tomato. Well, yeah, I think there's like obviously bad actors in the GMO world, but like the tomato as it exists today is not the tomato that existed in nature.

So that's a genetically modified. That's a win for all. That's right. Tomatoes. Have you seen like the... Monsanto is obviously evil. Monsanto? Monsanto, the giant pesticide, herbicide company that owns the like pesticides and herbicides and a lot of GMOs.

Did Tilly run that too? Think of what I was going to say. Think of Tilly. That's kind of like real world Tilly. There was the story of the like, they had like a patent on a type of grain that they developed that was like pest resistant and like the seeds of that patent, patented grain would blow onto the neighbouring farmer's plot who was not interested in using Monsanto grain and then they sued him for using it because it would germinate on his property and They're like you're growing our crop and he was like it blew here. Mmm. That's how Chile got her money. That's Sewing others Well, yeah, so the world's gone. That's great. Yeah, Amanda. Can I say that's fantastic? Thank you. Thank you lazy

And how does that compare do you think to vibes apocalypse? Thank you. Thank you, Lazy. And how does that compare, do you think, to Vibe's apocalypse? How did Vibe do it? How bold to think that I could remember that. The aliens emerge out of the Mariana Trench, and then they kill, and then everyone fights them to the death. They give out weapons, and they force the human to... What did Brenda say? I can't remember what Brenda said. Something stupid, I imagine. I just feel like mine's believable.

I just feel like yours has specifics. It has details, but it's also unexpected. I really like it. It's making me think about a video I was watching this week on Pangaea and how like the whole world was like a giant swamp. Let's return to swamp world. Oh, I love that. Oh, when I was growing up in Cleveland, in Brisbane, the greatest like landmark that we had in

Cleveland was the black swamp. Same old? That's it. Oh, it was still cool. They could have a black swamp because there was like a giant population of bats that lived there. Cool. Everything you've said is like making someone more excited.

But there was also stingrays everywhere. We just had a black swamp and like, I think it's called something else now. But yeah, famously we all just know it's a black swamp because of the bats and there was such a bat problem because they shit everywhere. The guana. It's just so much poop.

And it dissolves the paint on people's cars. It does. Like, oh no, no, no, no. Like if it poops on the side of your house, it strips the paint. Well, that sounds like a people problem, not a bat problem. Yes, they had a home and they decided to pick the swamp. Yeah. People lived around the paint. Well, that sounds like a people problem, not a bat problem. Yes. They had a home and they decided to pick the swamp.

Yeah. People lived around the swamp. Mm. Stupidly, now that I'm thinking about it, the swamp was the back end of the car strip. Oh. Yeah, like, you know when you get to, like, the suburbs and they have that random, like, a mile.

Of, like, the car dealership. Just car dealership. Yeah. It was like, that's where the black swamp was. I have spent a lot of time looking for those tasteful festoon flags they have at those car dealerships. I want it.

You know, the triangles. Yeah. Flapping in the breeze. The bunting. The bunting. Colourful, resistant to fading. Yeah. It's, and like, obviously with those decorative men dancing, dancing, always.

Oh, the wiggly inflatable man. Like, I think there's a lot of things that drag has taken from car dealerships that we're not willing to kind of fully acknowledge. Like giant bows on cars. If that's not drag, putting a car in drag. Shady, slimy men in suits. Yeah, dressing up for the job. Yeah.

Like in an inauthentic way. Yeah, bunting. Lying to get what we want. Flailing, flailing and lying. Overcharging for everything. Hidden lying. Overcharging. I've... For everything. Hidden thieves. That's right. Tiny little servings of water.

And also getting ripped off. And that's drag, mama. And that's drag. Card dealerships, that's drag. That could be a fun booth though, for a con. If you had two inflatable Lady Susans at the front. Don't tempt me. That's such a good idea.

I'm doing that. We should do that. That would be great. Fuck yes. Okay, that's... Unlock it in. And it would actually not be hard to make that. No one's gonna like that.

Get your crick cut out. Baby, I'll make the face if you make the body. Done. Crick cut. Oh, and we have a fan. Oh, I have a fan. I stole it from Bianca. Oh, wait.

Yeah. I was like shocked, but then I realized you were talking about a real fan. No, it from Bianca. Oh, wait. Yeah. I was like shocked, but then I realized you were talking about a real fan. It's kind of like one of these industrial fans that you have over here in this space. Yeah. Bianca's like-

Take my fan, sweetie. Like you couldn't bring it on tour because it was too heavy. So she bought it just for Brisbane. And I'm like, I don't want it, but I'll take it. I've never seen, the Americans, when they were in Brisbane, when we were on the Scream Queens tour, was one of the funniest things,

cause they were dying. I was there. And what was that venue called? At the Tivoli. The Tivoli does not have the backstage appropriate for the Divas. There is a death defying stairs to the back room. I was like, off.

And it's like a witchy woman's apartment. It's a cute apartment, but it does not fit a full cast of divas. No, no, no, no. And the rider was different. Like every state had the same rider delivered to them, like light charcuterie snacks and blah, blah, and each state had their own twists on it.

And Brisbane had like the most bizarre twist on those snacks. Didn't you have animals? What? In Brisbane? Animals? Didn't you get like a koala? Oh, the Australian natives come to visit. Oh, and then they brought us the animals.

That's a rider? That was weird. I said Red Bull and I got a koala. Yeah. Take it away. Well, they were like, do you want a photo with the thing? And I'm like, I'm Australian. I don't really care.

Cause they normally bring like little insects or like a lizard or a snake. And I'm like, no, I don't want to hold a fucking snake. Yeah, I'm good. I'm crazy. I'm't want to hold a fucking snake. Yeah I'm good. So when you're on Drag Race... And we'll be right back after the short break. I'll get the wine. Oh, I'm really getting into competitive play. Yeah. Okay. Love it. No, I just like, I want to have like the Pokemon that I like, not necessarily because they're cute just because they're the ones I like. And then I want them to be good in battles but that is often not the case.

That's the way I play too. Why is Umbreon so shit? Because it just looks good. Yeah but that's it. It has a really good shiny too. Yeah it does. Yeah it does. Are you talking about Pokemon cards or game card? Talking about Pokemon. Just generally. Yeah. I watched these men try and restore a Blastoise from original Pokemon Red, I'm gonna say. And he had it when he played as a child and the file had corrupted. I watched a 45 minute video of a bunch of nerds in a fucking best western, like, dining suite with laptops out trying to restore a Blastoise from a corrupted file and some nerd on Skype being like, well, have you accessed the G folder and now look through the thing and then we can find this line of code.

And when they got it at the end, I cheered. Yeah. What's wrong with me? Spoiler. Nothing. They found him. But I was also like, this isn't the same Blastoise. You're lying. It's a clone. Yeah, it's like a digital replica.

It'll never be the same. And you know what? Your parents are never getting back together, even if you restore the Blastoise. Oh, stop it. Well, what I will say is, I, in Emerald, had a Pokemon that got Pokerus. Oh my gosh. And ever since, I have transferred it over. Amazing. So it continues. I still have it.

So like I've got like a safety net, like a box of like a buffer of like 20 different like Pokemon with it. Yeah. So that I can infect and then put back and da da da da da. It's actually incredible. Yeah. I love that. So Pokeross is like poison.

No, it's like, it's like an effect. It is. It's like an infection that helps boost like IV stats for your Pokemon. It like does like a plus one for every time you go up. Why? That's not poison. No, it's like, it's like an infection. I say it was like poison.

It's like an infection. Yeah. Like a cold. But a good one. Like a cold. Well, that doesn't sound like- It's like when you've got diarrhea and it makes you feel like you've done like an abs workout. That's not good for. Like a cold. Well that doesn't sound like... It's like when you've got diarrhea and it makes you feel like you've done like an abs workout.

That's not good for you though. Yeah, or like you've been coughing for a week and you're like... But does it have any negative side effects? No, it has no negative side effects. Well then it's more like having that weird like overly flexible joints where you couldn't run really fast and you become like Olympian. Hmm. Like it's a genetic like abnormality, but you're also like, but for good.

For good. Yeah. I have been changed. Welcome back, Lister. We're leaving all of that in. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. Why would we cut out gold? Are you crazy? This is why we brought her here, just to talk about the mons. That's what I thought the proper mons.

Now, do we want to do your topic first or my topic first? Let's do your topic first. Okay, sure. Cause I think that's great. Okay. Yeah. Uh, okay. So now we've styled these according to the guests.

Yes. So bear that in mind. All right. Um, so our first topic for discussion today is which douche goes into the bunker. Which douche goes into the bunker? Which douching apparatus, which method, which strategy, which approach will the inhabitants of the bunker take? Vince Bourne is my choice. This is going to be a three hour podcast.

I had to scan through my mind because I wanted to say Adam Sandler, but I quite like Adam Sandler. Oh my God. But it's not a douche. Yes. Yes. Oh my god. But it's not a douche. Not a douche. Yes. Oh my god that's so funny. What about the giant douche from South Park? Go on. Do you know how to vote between a turd sandwich and a giant douche? Yeah. So you know about Pokemon and you know about South Park? You're Zelda's best friend. Yeah. Do you know anything about Final Fantasy? Yes. What's your favorite Final Fantasy? Um, it's when I saw the 10x. Yes.

Because I believe, like, looking back at my little gay history, mine, I think it's my gay awakening. It's amazing. The opening scene when they do the little music thing, I'm like, I think I may be gay. This is so fabulous. It's so good. I think it's that. Wait, what made you gay?

Did you skip over it? No, because they just did like, she just sings and everyone's like, Oh, I gotta kill these people or whatever it is. I don't know the names. I've had played when I was little. I don't remember. Youna. Sorry? Youna. Is that the priestess or something?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, she's like doing a concert and she's singing and she's distracting everyone why the two other people are like taking out the guards and stuff and they will come I need like a rock song thing. It's just so cool. She's a lot like jigglypuff in that way. It's so good. What again and the entire setup of Final Fantasy X-2 is like wait, is it 10 or is it 2? We're talking about 10-2. Yeah

But X we say X. We say X. The battle system is all built around what outfits they're wearing, which are called dress spheres, obviously. So you can change outfit, which changes your job or whether you're a warrior or a mage or whatever, and they all have fabulous outfits. And even more fun, because you've got the three characters, Yuna, Riku and Pain. They all look different in the same dress sphere, which is so fun. Yes, it really is.

A huge fan. I always put, I think it was Lulu with the belt stress. Yeah. We love her. She was always like my appraiser because like, I just loved it so much. It's just like, in Final Fantasy X, like OG, who's the hottest? Who's the hottie? Oh, whatever the blue thing looks like.

Kamari! Yeah. Oh, Mandy! Yeah. There you go. A kindred spirit. Become friends, yeah. Matt, did you like all of that?

I was listening. Oh, sure. But now, it's the real test. Because do we have the same taste in douches? Douches. So, can I say that it wasn't until I saw a video of Kimora... What was her name from Drag Race America? Kimora Black?

Yeah. Is that her name? Yeah. When she got cast on season nine, season 10, season eight. Whatever it was. Whatever. Like late to around season 10 time. Yeah.

Can't remember. That was Sasha's year. Season nine. She was in season nine. Okay. Cause that's how James Mansfield, no. No. Oh, no.

No, it was how James Mansfield went home. She went home to Kamora Black in the talent show. Was it? They did B-52. Love Shark. Yes. Yeah. And she, uh, yeah, sorry, go on.

Well, anyway, when she was cast, you know, when any girls get cast, they're like history resurfaces, um, good and bad in this case, it was neutral. Um, and it was her talking about how she douches for whatever reason. And I was like, what's that? What's this concept? You didn't know? No.

And I was like 28 at the time. I'd gone through both of my boyfriends. You've gone through them. And then I learned, maybe that's why those relationships didn't work. Wait, you weren't shitting on the dick every time though. No, by some miracle. But that's the thing I think.

You had the immaculate asshole. I mean, I do drink a lot of water. Yeah. And so it wasn't until then, like my late twenties that I found out what douchey wants and now it fills me with anxiety. Yeah. You shouldn't have anxiety for poop. No, but just like, you just want to be well prepared.

I think here's the thing though. I think there's a difference between going out on a singular date and shitting on someone's dick because then a hundred percent of your hookups you've shat on the dick. Whereas in a relationship, if you're having sex for a long enough time, the percentage of shit on dick goes down to like 2%. And surely love increases tolerance for shit on dick. Yeah. Love, patience, yeah. I don't care if you're putting your doodle in somewhere and not expecting poop.

It's your own fault. Like it is. That's the Queenslander point. It's going in a shithole. Like what do you expect? That's where it comes from. view. It's going in a shithole. Like, what do you expect? That's where it comes from. We'd also like to thank the Melbourne City Council for nominating this for most important gay culture. We've talked a lot of poop already, haven't we?

If you're putting it in a shithole, it's going to be shitty. Actually, oh my God, where... Someone had this incredible quote, which was, she just shat on her boyfriend at the time's dick and she went and saw her gorgeous South African mom who was like, well, she'd on the dick. It's like, you know, what was he expecting? It's like diving in the water and expecting not to get wet. Yes.

Good. There's elements of that. Yeah. But, um, there's many options. So classic, like little, so you learned about douching in 2012. From Kimora Black. Thank you, Kimoraouching in 2012. From Kamora Black. Thank you Kamora for your contributions. What a gem.

Like I've douched with many, many items. Have you ever, like, because sometimes people talk about douching with a water bottle when they're on tour, like a Mount Franklin. That ridge nozzle really freaks me out. Well, you don't put the nozzle in. You have to like, you have't put the nozzle in. Oh well. You have to like, you have like a little dummy attachment. No, I'm talking about like, I'm talking like a back alley douche.

I'm talking about like- Just like the water bottle as is. Like bitch, I don't have time. You are crunching it in to force it up. It's like the equivalent of using like an apple for a bong. You're using like a- Bought a bottle. Bought a bottle. bought a bottle, no

accessories, bought a water bottle and put it up my ass. Yeah. Well, push come to shove. It will work. It's, it's yucky, but like it will work. It'll get it inside of you. Well, I hope so. Yeah.

Yeah. I don't know. It depends if you feel like really, really tired. It won't work. Yeah. Cause like, you're not putting the nozzle inside you just resting the, the nozzle on the hole and then go pffft and hopefully with the pressure of the water, it goes inside. Yeah.

Yeah. What? I'm not a fan. Pump would be the one to go for. What is it for the bunker? Cause it's got the pressure. I mean, like I'm just talking about the back alley douches. Which um, which.

Sparkling or still. Ooh, mineral. A mineral. With a hint of lime. And you go like, you do like, Dale's for that. Where they're like, I went down in the river to pray,

studying about them good old ways. You know like five to 10 years ago when like Fuji water was such a thing? Yes. Like. Fiji water. Yeah. Yeah, whatever.

And mineral water. No wait, vitamin water when it was on Vitamin. Oh Why are we all drinking that that's crazy? But see that open gaping mouth of the vitamin water bottle window. It would have worked I don't know the pressure you gotta get the palm. You need like a free man with the straw I've gone through a six pack. The juice ran clear. Shut up.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Or a garden house. Yes. We've all done, we've all done that. Well, back to Greek daddy. When there's, wait, was he a trifecta? Yeah.

Okay. So the Beastie Girls, R.I.P. when the three Beastie Girls were together, there was like, Oh no, they're not dead yet. They're not dead yet. Well, one's just been resurrected. That's right. Please check out Belinda Greed on Sunday. Miss Benign Girls back.

I didn't realize she had the same initials. B.G. B.G. Belinda Greed and Benign Girls back. I didn't realize she had the same initials. BG. BG, Belinda Greed and Benign Girls. These things are not coincidental here. She's a genius. Anyway, so back in the day when the Beastie Girls were together, we had a few trifectas with people that had slept with all three Beastie Girls. Like, yeah, Unicam Factor.

Oh, I love that. That's fun. And one was called Greek Daddy. And Greek Daddy was this like 60 something year old man who was very horny. He was a Greek daddy. And one time when I... At all hours of the day. Yes.

When I was hooking up with Greek Daddy, he lived down the road and we... GD. GD? And I didn't want to disturb my housemates by, you know, tromping someone through the house. So instead I was like, oh, we'll fuck up in the studio where we now shoot Kick-Ons. So that Kick-Ons set has had Greek daddies come. As it should? Well, that's the energy that, you know, kick ons has, um, Greek daddy come. But before we went up, he was like, Oh, can I just quickly doge? And I was like, you didn't come prepared. Cause it was like, I guess 12, 12 30 at night, maybe one in the morning. And I think

Greek daddy had been up for a few days. Um, who, who said it recently? Real. Who was it? Hanukonda. Someone said it recently where they'd say of girls that had been up for a few days or maybe like that it's only one day till Mardi Gras one sleep till Mardi Gras is what they call that. No matter how many days until they only one sleep till Mardi Gras anyway. What a truffle pig.

Yeah. Anyway, so I'm like, I'm like, oh, sorry, we're not going to go in the house. I didn't, without missing a beat. Cause he, Greek daddy, he's been, you know, he lives through Vietnam. He knows what's up. And, um, he like turns on the hose and like shoves the nozzle right in his hole and then stands over our garden bed and like lets the water run clear. There we go.

It works. And that, let me tell you, the Zellie has never looked as good. Greek daddy blood. That's what I first thought. But anyway, and then yeah, that was the story of garden hose Greek daddy. Hmm. The thing that has always haunted me about that story is just that like, go on lying.

I like, maybe it's like, often as the beastie girls discussed, like the duration of the douching experience to be like prepared. Like, how do you know when you're prepared? It's literally your insides. So like, I like will easily take like, it's like an hour project to know that it's good. But we're talking about two chambers. Okay. Well, yes, but like,

you don't know how long you're gonna be having sex for or how big the dick will be. But that's the thing. So it's like, you gotta, at least this is my mentality of like, I need to know that I am going into this ready for anything. I think you have so much anxiety built up over it. An hour douching? No, no, no, but that's the porn, you're doing a porn star cleanse.

But see, but I think I just, well, I don't know what happens if you do the five minute douche. That's just chamber one. The same thing. No, no, no. So like chamber one, chamber one is just for residue inside the direct annus. And then what you're doing is like, say you fuck for. You're like prepping for fisting babe. You're really going in.

But also to be fair to Zelda Moon, how many hours is a session for you? I mean, I like ideally like one plus, but like, yeah, like three or like overnight and then you want to go in the morning. So that's where that douche becomes appropriate. You want to be like prepared for the whole time, the whole night. Yeah. Yeah. Which is why it's a porn star douche.

Cause that's if you have a nine hour shooting day ahead, you don't want to shit at all. Yeah. Whereas the chamber one is just like, we're having a, you know, like a hookup, we're fucking and like, it's going to be over within an hour. Yeah. But I just don't know where that line is. Cause you get through periods of douching where like it's clear, but you

know that it's not actually. You're like, but like at that point you stop. Yes. But how can you stop there with confidence? You can't. You got to have confidence. You just got to do it. You just got to get, what is it you can't face?

Douching. Famously the pit they cut out of that song. Mm. Mm. You just got to like, you just don't have to worry about it. Like, shit, the shit's going to be there. Yeah. Even if you could. How often are you shitting on someone's dick?

Oh, I don't really care. I don't even know and I don't care to hear about it. Honestly, the dark, the room's dark. It happens, happens. No, but as, you know, like obviously, like knowing people that have run dark rooms, if someone like, if too much shit is happening in the dark room, then it starts to really sting. Fun fact, to get rid of the smell toothpaste.

No. Honestly, serious, serious. My ex-boyfriend, his partner was really like, big into like humongous anal play, like huge toys and stuff and fisting and all that. And he said to get the poop off, like the fingernails and stuff. I've got, you can still like sort of smell it, the linger. Is this a little bit of toothpaste?

Toothpaste? Yeah, brush your teeth. A little bit of toothpaste. That's great. And you kind of like just like wash your hands with it and just, it takes the smell away. Wow. I love things like that. Like, um. Does that work with high-, with, oh, is it minty fresh?

The purple serum. No, my fingernails are beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. To, to effect. Like, get rid of the jaundice and the smell of shit. Yeah. Dushing with my smile.

Let's do it. But, um, it also reminds me of like when you're covered in blood, because as drag queens, we always are. What? Um, shaving foam, we'll like get it out. What do you mean when you're covered in blood? Like fake blood. Oh, okay.

Yeah. Yeah. Hilarious and unique show with man eater where you're drinking out of a skull. I'm so sick of being a drag queen. Yeah. We don't do concepts in Brisbane. We just wiggle. No, we don't do fake blood. We don't do it. The best We just wiggle. No, we don't do fake.

No, because the best, who was that bitch? Incubus. Oh yeah. She's fabulous. She gave me, like, I had forgotten the power of like going to see like a show and just being like, Oh bitch, you're turning it out. And there's like, you know, it's just like, it felt like it's just a regular club night. And then this bitch comes out with this like fungus headpiece that was clearly

like a prosthetic that she'd spent hours and did like a full last of us moment. But it was like, I was like, it was like classic Hontra disco days. Like I was like, I haven't seen anything this like crazily, like the execution was so insane. She's amazing with like foam work. Like if you ever want like a cosplay foam, anything. She's so fucking talented. Like she did, um, uh, what's her name?

Freya Mani. What's her name? Wow. She did Freya's, um, like wooden, wooden headdress thing for the sheer runway. Oh yeah. And did all like the Cheerios and stuff. Like if you look at it, it looks amazing. Yeah.

The finish was, it's absolutely incredible. Michelle didn't love it, but. But like the work, you can't deny the work. The work is great. I don't get that. I think it's like, I don't know with a category like that. I'm like, what's wrong with it? You didn't understand the category sheer.

We laugh. We laugh. We laugh. I understood it more than most. That's why I won. No, but I just think as well, like I didn't understand them critiquing Freya for looking incredible because I was like she looks amazing Who cares? There's a bit of sheer on here, but like

With a category like that Anyway, so then there's like the shower attachment. Yes Oh, I'm a huge fan of the shower shot with then like a constant supply of water I think that's the only way to go. It's the only way to go Yeah, when I transition to that from like the little trans, the bulb bulb. What a time in my life. What's the bulb? You know, the single like a travel travel.

Oh yeah. It looks like a little like cartoon. We've got to like suck the water into it from a cup and then refill the cup and then the, the, the, the, the, exhausting. Yeah. I love a shower oh, exhausting. Yeah. I love a shower shot. Yeah. Yeah.

Huge fan. We've got one, it was where I live now. I have three bathrooms. So we have that. Oh, that's the Queensland. Yeah, we have the Queenslander like this huge houses. So we have like our bathroom, like the ensuite one. And then we have like the guest bathroom, which has turned into the

douching bathroom and like displays and stuff. And then we have the one downstairs. It's like just for guests. Yeah, which is like all fancy and all that. Look at the fancy soap in that one. And we have a shower shot in the upstairs bathroom. And it's absolutely fucking fabulous. It's incredible.

We've got the two valve switch too. So you can do the shower head or you can do the douche. Love that. I was like, oh, do the shit thing and then like wash yourself off afterwards. You're like, oh, and then you squash it down the drain. You're like, all right. What is it? A stomp. A waffle stomp.

Yeah, waffle stomp. Yuck. God, gay people are terrible. We are disgusting people, honestly. No, if you hear about, like, I think the only issue with gay people is they talk too much. Like straight men have just as many disgusting habits.

Yeah. You know? Yeah, or Matt's straight. Okay. Yeah. I don't wanna like- Matt? Do you wanna say something? I don't know, comment. Have you ever dished Matt? Yeah, or Matt's straight. Okay. I didn't want to like... Matt? Do you want to say something? Oh, no comment.

Have you ever douched Matt? No, no. Oh, that's weird. Oh, what about like something fancy, like an enema? Give him an enema and another and another. What about like one of those ones? I've got a friend who will be like, I'm going to go get a colonic. Oh, get your colonic.

I'm like, I don't understand. The thought of publicly having that experience. I just don't know about that. And they make the hose clear so you can see what's coming out. Oh, you've lost me. No, that's great. I don't want to see my insides. Oh, do I? I want to see what your insides look like. What's that from? Hmm. I want, oh, scream. I want to see what your insides look like. That's great. Maybe they wanted to do an enema, really. Give him an enema.

Coffee enema? Yes. My friend an enema. Coffee enema? Yes. My friend once walked in on his parents giving each other coffee enemas. I don't get it. What is it? What do you mean? I mean exactly what I said, Zelda Moon. Oh my god.

Are they okay? My friend, just 16 at the time, walked on in his stately parents giving each other coffee enemas and laughing in their private arms. What was it called, bro? I assume so. It's Melbourne after all. It wasn't a hot, it wasn't a nice hot. I don't think it was like...

Was it an ice cream or macchiato? Oh, stop it. With oatmeal? Yeah, I think so. Skinny smell. No, I think you'd only do dairy-free in your, your, your nethers. What about an oil one? An oil enema.

I would get one of those ones. I would want the hydrating effects, but you know what the bad thing about, um... Go on, what are the bad effects? The bad effects of doujing in general is your... Why are you saying it like that? Be brave. Doujing. Dou-shing.

The bad thing about douj is it's your lower gut health. It's your biome. Clear it out. No, it's so bad for you. It's only bad if you do it regularly. Yeah. You can do it like on occasion. Yeah.

But if you do it often, cause you're like, you know, the more and more that science learns about your gut health, the more like they're like, you know, the more and more that science learns about the, your, your gut health, the more like they're like, it affects everything. It causes all kinds of inflammation and like bizarre side effects. It's like even every time you take antibiotics, if you were like, you know, they say it as far back is that if you were caesarian and you didn't come through the vagina, then it can, it can, if you didn't come through the vagina, then like you don't have the natural like lower gut health like defense against the world because you need to be exposed to the world.

That's why you just gotta have your cult every morning. That's right. Take your cult. Do you have Matt, do you have your cult? I don't have any cults. Oh, you met a mis your cult? I don't have any of your cults. Oh, you met a Musa girl. How do you keep your gut health good, Matt? Um, I'm pretty sure my gut's pretty stuffed up, but well, Duchenne.

Too much Duchenne. I went through a bit of a gut health sort of journey a few years ago. It was good. Do you think it's um, malarkey? Do you think it's bullshit? No, no, I think it's definitely a hundred percent real. And you were like big on the like, sour, crowdy type things. Yeah.

It's our crowdy things and just probiotics and stuff. But like I found out I got like a, um, a stool test done. So you, you like do a little poop in a little cup and then you send it off in the post to someone. Yeah. See, I just, I know we've, I know we've spoken about this before on the show, but I would just, I'd be so horrified to like, like, no, not to put it in the mail. I just don't want to be judged. You know, I, I eat a lot of like spicy food.

Yeah. I had like a curry the night before and it was about, You didn't think about that? I didn't think about it. I didn't. No, that's, I just don't want to be like, that's night before and it was a bad. You didn't think about that? I didn't think about it. I didn't. No, that's, I just don't want to be like, that's why I would never do scat. I'm like, I, like, it's not for any kind of-

You can see what you've been eating. I just don't want them to look at the poop and be like, ugh, I wasn't expecting that. I just feel like it was just a sick joke. Like someone's just going to open that and be like, oh my God. They would see the sickest poos in the whole world. I know. Cause normally you only get tested if you're sick. Yeah.

But anyway, they told me I had pretty bad, pretty bad bacteria. They wrote me back and said, thank you. I've got a story, but I'll say it off there. Oh no. About a, no, it's gross. No, I'll say it in the ad. Yeah. Okay. I'll just say it. But just cut no, it's gross. No, say it. I'll say it in the ad. I'll say it in the ad. Yeah. Okay.

I'll just say it. Just say it. It's gross. Okay. Do we have a gross warning for anyone? If you have already not been grossed out by this point. Yeah. It's a piece of story.

So I have a friend, like another fellow drag queen, who used to live with a sex worker and had a whole range of clients to tell. But there was one that was really into Scott, which is fine. Fabulous. But they wanted nothing sexual about it. They wanted nothing sexual about it. So what they do, like he, he wanted more of like a relationship, like a girlfriend experience with the, with the worker, which is great.

Love that. Um, but what the request was, was they wanted like a charcuterie board. So she would make a charcuterie board of like crackers and cheese and like meats and all that. But. Go on, go on, keep going. One of the items on the charcuterie board was, um, a little bit of poo. Well, so I don't want to like giggle at that because it's fine.

That's what they're into. Um, but no kink shaming. Only if the kink shames kink shame. Um, yeah. So what the work used to do was just like do their business and then like sort of, have you ever made like a herbed butter before? So like you used to get the butter and like put the herbs in, like you used to roll up, put it in the freezer.

So she used to do that with her waist. Um, and then you used to roll it up, put it in the freezer and be like, and then told her, would she add like a thickening agent or would she? No, it was all natural. All natural. And then like put it like, this is the reason why I don't want to like cut this all out. Um, we're leaving this in. You know how much you see in Dave and kiddo would pay for this.

I don't know who radio. Yeah. And, um, yeah. So she's rolled it up like a bit of her butter and then slice it up and put it crackers onto like a little board. And then he used to come over and he would just sample like, you don't have a lot. Maybe I have one or two. Yeah.

Do you know what, as well, imagine if you were him over and he's like, that's disgusting. Jats. I want those pumpernickel seeded ones with apricots. If it's not like defrosted enough and the crackers keep breaking, it'd be so embarrassing. You have to gnaw through it. We're trying to have a party and you're just lingering over by the charcuterie table. God, that's a funny thing. What do I think about that? Why would you think about that on this?

You were talking about world politics and you took a tangent down the- Put it right down. What other decision is that? No, because my friend, his gal pal, who was also a sex worker, had a story where she would get paid like quite a bit to like, he would lie under the glass coffee table and she'd shit onto the glass coffee table. So he'd get to kind of have the POV experience, at which point I'd be like, God, her thigh muscles, like imagine hovering over a coffee

table while you're trying to shit. Oh, Taylor Swift, strong legs. How do you think they got so... But then that same gentleman who got her was once then asking my friend who didn't do sex work at the time if they would make a poo train. Which is where the other sex worker poos and then they poo and then he makes a little train and stomps them together. Beautiful. So many options. I just think the imagination there is important. That's good. Okay. So do I was going to throw in one other option, which is the cut pipe from Bunnings that you receive at a sauna and you're sent off to the douche room. Go on. And then you have to plug it in. They don't do the douche room at wet anymore.

What? They got rid of it. The wet the douche room at wet anymore. What? They got rid of it. Wet on Weddington. Yeah. What do you mean? They used to have a douche room. Yeah, and you would have to go to the bar and you'd be like, can I pay six dollars for some hose?

And they cut you off a little bit. Well, they're pre-cut, but I imagine it's like a half hour job where you cut the week's worth of hose lengths. It's a bit quiet. Could you cut some hose? Can we cut some hose, ready? And then they'd like to secretly give it to you in a towel. So you went shamefully walking through the venue holding cut hose.

And then you go into the room and you like plug it into the tap on the wall. And then it's just like a constant stream of like lukewarm water. And you like sit over the toilet and do your thing. But I've heard that in other cities as well. What's the hose like? Give me the, like, how soft is the hose? You know what? Like a balloon from a shot.

I joke about the job that, yeah, Mitchell has on a Saturday afternoon of cutting the hose. But if that cut is too jagged, it's going into your asshole. Like it best be smooth. So quite an important job. Well, as Mandy said, it should just be kissing your hole, not going into it. Well, I think that was with the water bottle. It's really like a douche douche is going in.

Yeah. If you're in the sauna situation, you kind of just want to quick fuck then leave. So like you would just do the first chamber. So you're just kissing the hole. I mean, I'd be there for a good eight to 10 hours. I'm not staying all night. Oh, you're crazy. If you're just kissing the whole. I mean, I'd be there for a good 10 hours. I'm not staying all night. Oh, well, you're crazy. You're sleeping.

Yeah. You know that costs $27, right? What about Fran? This economy? Yes. I think Belinda Green, Miss Benign Girl, like if she was like out drunk on a night out, like two in the morning, instead of going home, she would just spend the $27, go to Weddon, Wellington, and she closed one of the lock rooms and sleep in there.

And then wake up at like seven in the morning, go and have a shower and then go to work. 24 hours sort of thing. Yeah. Well, we don't have that. Honey, you should go to Weddon Wellington. It's like Friday to Sunday. Oh, not after Brenda. Brenda did that photo shoot.

You should go. I would really, I would really love to go if I was here for longer, but yeah, you're not even staying till Sunday. I didn't know there was a street party. I didn't know. I feel silly. Next. Anyway, but anyway, the best douxing is a good diet.

Oh, and it's so stupid. It's a good diet. What do you think is good in like, Oh, just high fiber. High fiber. This is a high fiber diet. Like a natural, is good in like... Oh, just high fiber. High fiber. This is a high fiber diet. Like a natural, like, you know, processed fiber or would you like just in your diet?

Whatever Metamucil is. Cilium husk. How many, like, how much, what's your dosage of Metamucil each day? I do two teaspoons a day. I do one in the morning, one in the hour though. Oh, that's good. Yeah. You can do up to four, but like two is good for me.

Yeah. Yeah. And then mix that with your cult. And then I'm okay. Then you're good. So then it's just like easy breezy when the time comes. Yeah. Yeah. There's no, it just goes like bullets.

Oh, that could go. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good. Yeah. But like, well, we're not going to put a good diet in it. Yeah.

I'm kind of crazy. We've got to end with some good. Putting in That's good. Yeah. But like... Well, we're not going to put a good dye in it. Yeah. Crazy. We've got to end with some good... We're putting in the cut hose. Oh no! I do think cut hose... I've never heard of a cut hose. It's haunting.

Don't do that. Also, it's clear. At least at wet it used to be clear. It's bunker coated. It is. It's aquarium hose. Yes, it is. It is.

Do you like just suck on it for a second to get the water flowing? No. Like cycling petrol? Thankfully not. Jesus Christ. It is, it is. Do you like just suck on it for a second to get the water flowing? Like cycling petrol? Thank really not, Jesus Christ. Like garden hose thickness? How big is it? It's a little bit less than that, but that's, you're very close. You're warm. Yeah.

Oh, not unlike the water. Yeah. It's nice to have got like nice temperature of water in there. I like that. Yeah. That's a nice touch. Yeah. Yeah. It's nice to have got like nice temperature of water in there. I like that. Yeah. That's a nice touch. Yeah. Yeah.

It's very day spa. I just don't think a douching station pipe hose would be good. Post COVID it's just crazy. Hahaha. Otherwise what? I mean like the actual genuine answer is going to be like the shower. It's going to be the shower shot. That would be mine.

What are you saying? I keep pretending like I know what you're saying. Shower shot? It's the, what do you call it? The attachment like the shower. It's going to be the shower shot. That would be mine. What are you saying? I keep pretending like I know what you're saying. Shower shot? It's the, what do you call it? The attachment for the shower. Yeah. Cause you shot water into us. I know what you're saying.

Oh, got it. I just. It's what the brand's called, shower shot. It's $112 from X. Um, sex from Sydney. I'll send you a link. Okay. Well, we only need one for the bunker.

We only need one for the podcast. The last show. I don't know. This room is expanding. The douching station off left. Yeah. So do we do the good one or the funny one? I don't know. I don't want a pipe.

I've never even heard of that before. It's just honestly, I'm just, I'm just be wild, be whizzled by it. I think, but it's just like, who's cutting the pipe in the bunker? You say something else. I think it's like in the world, it's Courtney or Gwyneth. I wonder if Gwyneth would be on board with Duxing. She would be. Yep.

No, she's an enema. But like, if maybe we could do, I feel like the most, going back to Duxing, the most... A good diet. ...thing would be... If you do, well, yes, but that's not available in the bunker. That's stupid. I reckon we should do... Flake shake is not a good diet.

Like a giant box of just the mini douches. Wait, go on. What? It's a giant box of like just a mini douche. Like with the box. Like a mini douches. Wait, go on. What? It's a giant box of like a mini douche. Like a feminine hygiene douche. Yes, I feel like that's fun for the bunker. That is one of my favorite memories of Willem is when she came and she used to take a

feminine hygiene douche and douche on stage and like press corona up her asshole. As you do. It's so cool. Oh, there is a douche that's very similar. Well, it's not.

It's, um, it's used in like film industry. Oh, sorry with the wine. Um, it's shaped like a missile and it's like, you'd like a little bit of air pressure. Oh, like a lens cleaner. Yes. But you're like a camera douche. A camera douche. Cause you would have like on Drag Race, someone would have had that camera douche.

No, my exposure to a camera douche was when I had a shared workspace in the CoLab in Brisbane, I shared the space with a guy who made like the ads for the cricket, the, the, the big, the big, the big bash cricket. Like, um, cricket. No, like a sport. Yeah. That's very popular. I don't know that.

What width of acrylic were they? Yeah. Yeah. What thickness? Three mil. Premium, premium, premium vinyl Three mil? Premium, premium vinyl. Premium holographic vinyl. Anyway, he made a lot of money from cricket.

Cricket. Cricket. Okay. Anyway, so that's my first question they had. Was he nice? He was lovely. Was he douche? He was my work husband.

He was fabulous. He was like my first. You were stewing. You were stewing in that room. He was like my first straight friend. Oh, brilliant. Yeah. And now Matt is your second one.

I don't know. We only met this morning. I feel like I know you from the show already. Yeah. What show? Oh, Drag Race. What show? What show did we do?

Okay. So which douche? Yeah. I like a violent jagged hose, but cut with someone's teeth. But I'm willing to do the one shot just to appease our guest. The shower shot. Whatever you said. Oh, the shower shot.

I think the shower shot's very good. Because like you can clean it and it's universal and everyone knows what it is. But like I wanted in a douching shower room. That's, I love the idea of like the sauna douching room. I feel like that's so fabulous. You lock that door and now it's me time. But I would like, I want the room, but I want a proper douche. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's kind. We'll do that. Yeah. Okay. Good.

That's good. The shower shot. Appease me. Shower shot, douche room. You're in. That's good. The shower shot. Appease me. Shower shot, You're in. Hee hee. I love it.

All right. We'll be back. Welcome back everyone. Oh my God, that's so quick. Oh my God. Do you need anything, darling? Yes. I was no, yes.

Do you want for anything? Do you need more wine? You need a refill. Her class is, Jella get her wine. Okay. You say. Okay. Welcome back everyone.

Zelda is going to get the Rosé for our dear guest. What brand of Rosé did you go for today? Two for $22. Welcome back everyone. Zelda is going to get the rose for our dear guest. What brand of rose did you go for today? Two for $22. Oh my God. Wow. Is that Marlborough? I don't know, babe. It was up the road.

Oh, jingle jingle. Yes. Santa's coming with his fresh bat. One hand in the basket or whatever the saying is. Yes. I don't know whatever the saying is. Yes. I don't know what the saying is. What's a good saying for someone being drunk? Pissed as a skint.

You're going to arrive pissed as a skint. Oh, maybe it's a straight saying. Matt, do you have any sayings about being drunk? Plastered? Plastered. You're going to rile up. Plastered. Plastered.

Three sheets to the Wind. Oh I love that expression. That's a fabulous one. When she arrived she was three sheets to the wind. That's that Reba McIntyre song I always sing. Sing it. What do you say in a moment like this When you can't find the words Oh to tell her like it is

Yeah. L is. Yeah. Lazy. Yeah. What's our new topic for discussion? OK. So I think that this should be relatively easy to answer. But we have an expert here today, and her brand is staked on this category.

So I'd like to know which kink goes into the bunker. Oh my gosh. Ha ha ha ha this is normally a G rated show. So I think we're going to have to just give a quick warning. If you're driving with your kids, open the door. Now you don't need to slow down, but I assume you're on the Hume Highway. Open the door and say either harden the fuck up your little shit or I'm pushing you out. Mama's got to listen to her favorite show.

And then if the kid says yes, close the door quietly. Never mention it again. Don't tell dad. And we'll go on with the conversation. If they say no, they're scared of being exposed to a little bit of kink, push them out. But make sure you've undone the seatbelt before. And if they're in a baby chair, I know that takes a bit of work to get them out. I think a baby will fully understand, doesn't need to be pushed out of the car.

Well, I think that if her diet was in place, then the shit wouldn't have had to have hardened up. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Back into a baby? Is that what you're saying? No. Anyway, we've talked about this shit so much already. Wait, I've got one more thing I want to say about poop. That's perfect for this topic. Just one more. If you think, like hypothetically, if you... Like poop is like famously like all the waste that your body can't take in. Like what do you like eat and stuff? I got what I needed.

The rest is junk. If you eat exactly the amount of what your body needs to survive, would you still poop? That's so interesting. Is that a thing? Like if you just ate like pure vitamins, pure fats, pure things, the exact dosage that your body would absorb to survive. Yes. Would your body shut down?

Would you still poop? Well, that's so interesting. Let's ask the top models of the 90s where their diet was perfectly calibrated with aspirin, a cigarette, and cocaine. Black coffee. All the vitamins you need. And diet coke.

Oh yes, of course. DC. Cause I don't think that they were pooping. I hope not. I hope. Not on those dresses I don't think that they will poop in. I hope not. I hope. Not on those dresses. Don't shit on your dresses, girl. The dry cleaning alone.

That's right. I feel like the body is also shedding like cells that have been used and stuff. You're right, you can't get away from shedding. And that's how it's spelled. But would it be like a once a week kind of thing instead of more instead of I know people that have long like days between shitting I feel like when I was

growing up that was the vibe it was like a once a week activity like clipping you growing up on the peninsula though so your diet was all beige that's true the peninsula but yes yeah like this But not classy peninsula, listen. We're talking about peninsula, peninsula. Yeah. Real. Like, Paul Pesquet. Yeah.

What was the name of the Chinese shop? Paul Louis Chinese restaurant. Paul Louis. It was extremely Paul Pesquet. Not rice down the road? No. When we went to buy the wine and he's like, what is happening here to the Asian restaurant, their verbiage,

um, that is called rice. This rice. Yeah. No, it's called rice cuisine. No, it's not. It's called rice. Rice cuisine. No, you know what it's actually called?

Rice Asian cuisine. Well, there you go. It says it all. You're going to get some rice. It's not just rice. Where's it from? Asia. Asia.

Awful. Awful. Awful. I hated that. I hated that. I actually love Asian people, so that's strange. Oh, god. Oh, no. Oh, no.

OK. Cancelled. We're cancelled again. OK. You can't be cancelled. We're cancelled again. Okay. You can't be cancelled if you were never scheduled, darling. Now. Okay. What kink?

What's a good kink? What kink? I don't know. Being pissed on? Pierce. There's so many. Oh, it's so personal. Like I'm a kid in a candy store being pissed on.

I don't know. Pierce is just like, just like everyone does. I feel like piss is now like low key. It's so common. It's just like, it's just people like, oh, you got pissed on what it's a day ending with why. Yeah. You're going to get laughed out of a kink, kink event.

No, you won't. You won't get laughed. It's a very respectful community. Yes. Honestly. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. I do have a few issues. Can I, I need to bring up a few issues I have with the kink community. Go on.

Some of the, I went, I was doing a recce at an event space where they were like, listen, I'm having a kink event here tonight. And I was like, absolutely. But I needed to get the specs of a specific stage because I was building something for it. So they're like, if you just, we're just going to walk you through, it's fine. The whole theme is teachers and students. And I was like, absolutely, that's fine.

And so then I walked into the bowels of the building and then there was everyone there. And do you know what the costumes were so cheap? And I was like, if your fantasy is Amazon is costume box is wish.com. I don't like, I like want the high end. I just thought some of the like, I was like, if I was into like teacher, student kink play, the authenticity would be like there with the costume is the blazer musty. What's happening with the costuming of the fetish community?

Are you asking me? Yeah. OK. Well, you would walk through and be like, disgusting. Look at that. Him. I would. Yes. Um, that's kind of like, I'd be like, oh, gross. Oh, look at that. that's kind of like, I'd be like, Ooh, gross. Ugh, look at that. Um, kind of like, just to like boil it down to like a simple sort of like mindset. Sometimes you just want to achieve throwaway thing that you don't care about. It's not about less performance.

You want something that you'll be able to destroy. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Yeah. So it's very much like you don't care what it is, but it's more about like the intent of what it is. It's a shape. We're working in like an idea. It's a concept.

Like my draft. Yeah. Your words. Yeah. It's just more about like, if you have like the minimal visual of what you need, that's all you need. It's all about, it's his play. Right.

Yeah. It's not like the grand fantasy a little over it all. But then kind of like the opposite is fairies because like that is like high investment kink. Minimum like five, three, five grand. Yeah. For a full suit. Yeah.

Yeah. But you have one suit, right? You have one persona. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. First persona. First persona, please.

Are there any folks out there who like have multiple personas? Um, I don't think so. Keeping it a secret. Like I thought you were that border collie, but here you are as the labrador. They may have like the same character, but maybe like just their head. But like they wouldn't wear like, yes, absolutely. But sometimes it'd be like a, a lycra body suit instead of the fur body suit. Yeah.

Yeah. And I just recently like discovered like sometimes there's so much, um, hate towards the people that just wear their heads and their hands and they expose their like true skin. They hate that for some reason. And it's kind of like the few truth, whatever. It's so hot in Queensland. You can't do it. Yeah.

How is the poor furry community? Sweaty. Yeah. Yeah. Sweat. Matt, don't laugh. King shaming. Matt.

I'm not laughing. Matt is our only, Matt, don't laugh. Kink shaming. Matt. I'm not laughing. Matt is our only kink shamer on the pod. I'm just imagining like the, I'm just imagining the struggles of the... The fur community. And the... And it delights you. The latex community imagine. It's just something I've never considered.

I'm just, yeah. Mr. Rubber? Oh wait, you won a kink. I did. Oh actually, yeah I did. I won Mr. Leather... Uh, no, I won Leatherboy Queensland 2018. But you were the first drag queen. I was the first drag queen to win.

Yeah. That's so fucking. Yeah. Because like we did it at the sportsman's hotel and the leather comp was happening downstairs in the bunker bar and I was doing drag shows upstairs. Like I turned 30 afterwards. I'm like, I'm going to have to do it in drag. And I did it in drag and I won.

Did they think it was like, was there, was there uproar in the community when you won as a drag queen? Or were people like, this is the best thing. I'm really popular. Ah, no, no, no. Oh, kind of like the old guard was a bit like, we can't have a female in this space. And like that is an ongoing fucking struggle. It's not anymore. female in this space and like that is an ongoing fucking struggle. It's not anymore. Like it's very open at the moment, but like back in 2018 was like, absolutely not.

But like, I feel like I was the, the easy way to explain to people like, no, we're all just kinky bastards. We're all having fun. It doesn't matter what's happening downstairs. We're all here to enjoy ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I want that.

And then like, if you watch Drag Race, oh no, I got all here to enjoy ourselves. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I want that. And then like, if you watch drag, I got cut out. There was so much stuff about that got cut out. And there was my entire makeover challenge. You remember, remember when I was in that challenge? Well, school girl, school girl. Here I am a drag queen trying to explain school girl kink. And I was like, I'm just a drag queen explaining kink. Nah, I hate that.

Not in the G rated talking to children episode. Anyway, anyway, um, fairies love fairies. Love fairies. Fun kink, fursona. Fursonas. There's also like puppies. Putt play. Putt play. There's also like puppies. Puple. Puple, that's a fun thing.

A nice leash. Yeah. Oh, it's more about the hood. Yeah. Everyone loves. Oh, the neoprene puple. The neoprene puple or leather. Leather puple too.

I do, I mean, I'm also like, we've bemoaned this in the past. I wish people made their own. I wish people had to make their own. Oh, have you ever signed with Neoprene? Well, no. But I'm not a fairy. But like, I, if I, my cricut would be, I could do it out of like, I could, you know, like, I just want to see a diversity of crafting, you know, like I want to see a decoupage, um, pub hood, you know, I want to see that kind of moment where you're taking a part of life

magazine and Princess Diana's on your decoupage pub hood. Yeah. Yeah. You know, not Princess die. Oh, don't put her through more. She's gone through a lot. I saw that you could buy this. You can buy that through the tunnel though.

The fairy head. Sorry. Too soon. Too soon. She's been through a lot. Not the tunnel. Not the tunnel. Never made it through that. No. That's evil.

Where was that in the roast? Babe, don't. Write that down though for all stars. Hang on. That's good. That's good. Yeah, that's good. I'm going to go with the Evil. Where was that in the roast? Babe. Don't. I'll write that down though for all stars.

Hang on. Um, what a king. Yeah. Pierce, Scott, Wudd. Just like the actual factual like subdom. Is that? Oh, subdom. Yeah, yeah, subdom play.

Absolutely. Um, there's, uh, what? Chips, chips, chains and whips. There's the... What's the, the child one? You bet you're a baby. Pedophilia. No, no, no, not that.

Adult baby. There's like AB... Adult baby. ABDBL, something, something anyway. Baby. Yeah, it's a little baby. Can't even do my taxis. Yeah, like in, like in Portland, yeah. No, not in Portland. In, no. It's a baby. Can't even do my taxis.

In Portland, yeah. No, not in Portland. You know, broad city. Yeah. There's that one. Um, you could do probably not that one. I don't. Big baby. No, but like thinking of like drag race, what about public humiliation?

I love it when you see those photos of the guy holding up his license and he's like, my name is blah, blah. and I'm humiliating myself for my Dom, Sarah. That kind of thing is fun. What about like... Fin Dom. Fin Dom, financial domination. Love that. I want to know, like, who is like what the Fyndam situation is because like

I know... Okay I'm... You dare to dream that like that guy or gal or they them who's into Fyndam gets ripped off like they're at Best Buy or whatever. And they're like, sorry, sir, that's not actually on sale. The listed price you saw is not. And he's like, like what level of financial domination is enough to trigger the, the haptics on the sexual experiences? Like, what like, like, oh, I just paid for barbecue sauce, but it's not in the bag. Which of course is the sound I make when I come.

The signage is outdated and you thought it was $20, but you get there and it's $22. And you're just like, come. I'm sorry. That price is for members club only. Is that Findom? That is not Findom at all. That's just like not getting a bargain. I consider that being financially dominated by the people at the store. That is not fin dom at all. That's just like not getting a bargain. Fin doms like you give money to someone so they live their fun self.

But that doesn't, is that about control? Yes, it is. Of that other person. Absolutely. So fin dom is actually you dom with money. Yes. Or the other way around. You give your financial burdens to someone else to take over, which I do,

which is fabulous. I'm such a fucking fan. You're getting off on that or you're having your life paid. No, I just don't have to worry about fucking money. I hate it so much. Me too. I give all my money to my partner and then he deals with literally everything. I absolutely. Your partner is, can deals with literally everything. I love it.

Your partner is, can we say amazing as well? So it's yours. Oh my god, she's swapped. I've swapped. No, but he's so lovely. Changing rooms. I was saying this actually on a previous episode. He's just got a really incredible energy.

Like he just seems very together. Well, yes, he's financially secure. Yeah, he's good for it. yes, he's financially secure. Yeah. He's good for it. He's good with like math. Yeah. Loves it. I hate it. Did he help you in the prep for drag race?

No, no. He's like cuddles. I'll hold your hand. Yeah. I'll drive you to places. Yeah. But like anything else? No.

Concepts? No. Selling? Did but like anything else? No. Concepts? No. Selling? Did you plan the budget? No. I'm spending all of the money. Oh, like who kept like, okay, I've organized for you to meet with someone at the bank to get a bank loan sort of thing. And, but I didn't pan out.

I got someone else. One of the pigs paid for it. Love that. I'm paying it back. But like I got $550 left. Oh, that's amazing. And no interest. No interest.

So we weren't that way, down that route, which is absolutely fabulous. By financial domination. It's kind of like, for a few example, like some people would give you money to like go get a haircut. They're like, I just got my nails done. So it's $60. Give me $60. You want to move? You want me to look pretty? Give me that money. Yeah, that's the thing. My friend, she was like broke as a joke had just moved overseas to live. And you're listening to this. So hello. But she had a guy that was really into buying her stuff, gifts. But like she was like receiving really expensive

and nice negliges, like underwear, like bits and bobs. And she couldn't pay her rent. And she couldn't be like, you pay my rent. Because he was like, no, I just want to buy you the things that are in my fantasy. And that's the thing that pisses me off sometimes. I'm like, you're into Findom. Let me Findom you properly with the things I are in my fantasy. And that's the thing that pisses me off sometimes. I'm like, you're into Findom. Let me Findom you properly with the things I actually need.

Actually help me pay my rent. Yeah. Yes. Yeah, that would be nice. I love though that the straight community, I mean straight community, but like the kind of normie community is like, well, that's such a weird concept. Like, like I would never be involved in like fetish in that way. And it's like, well, if you look at marriage, like anytime before the

1980s, you're like, that was Fyndam. You guys were doing long form role play. As like, like the housewife. Yeah. Yeah. You were like, you know, like, yeah. Post industrial world war two America invented Fyndam and then just kept it going. Yes. That's when it started. Yeah. Post industrial world war two America invented Findom and then just kept it going. Yes.

That's when it started. Yes. 1920s. Not a good year. No. Yeah. What else we got? What being tied up, I guess that's a kink.

Oh, Shabari. Oh, that's a king. Yeah. Oh, Shabari. Oh, that's so pretty. Yeah. Oh, I love rote play. That's gorgeous. I just worry about the knots. I'm like, what if once again, in the judgment, I'm not being able to do proper Shabari. We'll do better.

Oh, well, that's it. Do a tape course. That's why they invented fluffy handcuffs. Oh, not that. That is not a king. Come on. That is king shaming. Get them on. Hate it. Hate. They're not a kink. That is kink shaming. Get them on.

Hate it. Hate. So is it a break? Not if they're real. Oh, so the real fluffy handcuffs. All right. Yeah, you could show a little like fluffy, you know, faux fur insert onto a real pair of handcuffs. I say boo to like sex shop handcuffs.

Oh yeah. But I've got like, like from actual six shops, handcuffs or like, you know, like restraints and they've all broken. And they're not strong enough. Oh, honestly, just use zip ties. Oh, that's so scary. Why? I have some in my bag. It's like cutting off my circulation.

I would get that. I would believe that. No, that's just great. Like it's fine. Whatever. I think zip ties. Like a fabric buffer. No.

No, what the fantasy? That's hot. You can always gnaw at it to get out. You could gnaw at it. Well, did you ever see Gerald's game? Again, people. That horror, that horror film where the woman is with her older man husband. Gerald.

Gerald. And then he has a heart attack while they're doing like tied up play. And she is left on the bed in this like deserted location, can't reach a phone, can't call for help. No one knows where they are. Okay. And like, he's, her, his body is like next to her on the bed. And so eventually she has to like de-glove her hand to get out of the handcuffs. Okay. That's all. How does she de-glove?

Like does she lose the hand? Like the skin off the hand. Okay. You should never be in a situation where you can't get out of it. But sorry, that's a bad Dom. Yeah. Well, I think that's part of it. Gerald. Yeah. Gerald is a bad Dom.

That is a very bad Dom situation. he pushes it a bit too far. Yeah. You should never put your sub in a situation when they can't get out. Like if you have a heart attack. Also like consent. Gorgeous. Well, I think she was consenting to it being put on, but she didn't think she realized that she couldn't get out if he died.

Yeah. Also bad Dom. Bad Dom. Toxic Dom. Never did that. Toxic Dom. Don't go back to her. Gerald. No. Well, she won't. He's dead. Thank Dom. Toxic Dom. Never did that. Don't go back to her. Gerald.

No. Well, she won't. He's dead. Thank God. Yeah. But now she's got your petite hand. What's it called? I'm going to report that.

Gerald's Game. Gerald's Game. Yeah. Was he cute? Doesn't matter. Bad Dom. Yeah, it's Silver Daddy. Oh.

Yeah. Come on, watch it. Yeah. Right now? Matt, any favourite Come on. Yeah. Matt, any favorite kinks? Um, what are you? No, I won't ask that. Tentacles. I don't know.

All right. I'm definitely not into that. You're really definitely not into it. Are you Matt? It's really weird. Listen, if you think that there You're really definitely not into it. Are you Matt? Okay. It's really weird. That's why I'm... Listener, if you think that there's nothing really weird, we're not kink shaming here, but Matt, if you think Matt is into tentacles, just let us know.

Yeah. I hope he is. Have you all seen the videos from like, I don't know, like with all the, like, with like having like, girl, ass up with a funnel into either hole, feeling with eels and then standing up and then all the eels come out. You know that video? You said yes. No, I haven't, but I want to. No one knows where Eels come from. Oh, speaking of videos, what about like Two Girls, One Cup? Well, it's of that era.

Yes. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Yes. Okay. But Eels. It's of that era.

It's of that ilk. Yes. Um, yeah. What a talented woman. Yeah. That's it. I mean, Two Girls, One Cup, shit, expected, played out What a talented woman. Yeah. That's it. I mean, two girls, one cup. Shit.

Expected. Played out. But eels. Eels. Quirky. Yeah. From the black swamp. Maybe.

From Cleveland. Yeah. Ooh. Okay. What about feet? That's another one. Feet. Foot fetish, foot vagina.

Yeah. Foot vagina? Oh, fucking feet. Yeah. Foot, foot, foot, foot. Oh, foot vagina. Feet, feet, foot vagina? Oh, fucking feet. Yeah, foot vagina. Oh, foot vagina. Didn't you have to send photos of your feet as a vagina to someone once?

Yeah, but also, I remember- I do, once again, I'm an avid listener. Good. Yeah. I was reflecting on this, like, time back in the day of Craigslist. Did you ever do Craigslist? Oh, well, no, I know of, I never did it.

M for M, F for M, M4M, FM. Yeah. But it was simple times. It was so good. I loved it. The vibes were just impeccable. So good. You could pick up a mower for free and then you could go and be like, get mowed and get mower.

And I hooked up with this guy and he was like, I have a foot fetish. And I just think back to the innocence of that time, cause I would have been 21, living in a bunk bed above an art gallery. My housemate was out for the night. And so I'd invited someone over from Craigslist. So it's like, this is a period piece.

And then I was like trying to think of what music to put on the CD player to impress this man, this anonymous man, back when that was kind of an unfamiliar concept to me, who was coming to my house. Calm. Calm. Who was gonna walk through a room that was filled with rock salt,

because that was the art exhibition going on in the gallery downstairs. The entire floor had like three inches deep of rock soul. So you would like walk through and crunch through the room and then come through into the house at the back, come upstairs. No, it's pool salt. Oh, yeah. Obviously, stupid fucking idiot.

And then, okay. Don't ask any more stupid questions. And so he came upstairs and I put on a Bob Dylan CD for a man who was arriving in a Commodore from the Western suburbs. I don't think that he appreciated. And then because he had a foot fetish, I was like, oh my God, I've never tried to make my feet look sexy before. I'm so worried. And so then when we were hooking up and he was looking at my feet, I tried to do this sexy little paddling motion to try and like make them look as sexy as possible, assuming that that's what he would like.

Not like, I think now I'd be like, oh, the man mask or like, but instead I was trying to do like, do do do do do do do. My little lady friend. I was trying to do like the like, aren't they synchronized? Oh, look at this ballet pool. A ballet pool? And I don't think that he was into that when he came into the bunk bed room with the Bob Dylan playing and me doing my little...

He had bunk beds? It was a queen size bunk bed, top and bottom. Oh! We had it built in the room, you couldn't take it out. Oh, we had it built in the room. You couldn't take it out. Oh, thank gosh. And the room was $60 a week each in Footscray, middle Footscray station. And the train went right past the window. You did footplay in Footscray? Yeah.

All right. That's good. Yeah. And I don't think it worked. I don't think he found my feet very sexy. Damn. Which is sad. Bugger.

Yeah. Oh well. No, no, no matter how many little kicking motions I did. La la la la la la la. I think you gave him too much to begin with. I know I should have just been like, man foot. Yes. No, I feel like foot, the footplay is all about the soul.

Yeah. They want like, that sort of angle. It's all about the soul. It's all about the soul. You didn't have any soul. There's one person in particular that I hook up with It's all about the soul. It's all about the soul. You didn't have any soul. There's one person in particular that I hook up with who is like very into having his feet like worshipped or whatever the fuck.

And it's yeah, it's more about definitely like the manly feet of it all. Yeah. But yeah, like the whole, so many areas. Mmm. So many areas. Really done a lot of feet, but like, sure. I get it. Like if I like the person that much, yeah, I'm going to like all of them. But like, the feet is just, it's never been the thing. Obviously there's nerve endings there.

And I think that if you're drawing the line when you get to the feet, because you're scared that they're going to think you have a foot fetish, I think that's weird. Like, I think if you're avoiding the feet while you're scared that they're going to think you have a foot fetish. I think that's weird. Like I think if you're avoiding the feet while you're like... Because of the judgment. Because of the judgment. Yeah, I think that's stupid because like there's no of endings you can like lick a foot, but I don't think it makes you a foot fetishist. No. And also after like a life of cross-dressing, these lip-hanging, bucket-on, fucking gnarly things down there.

My toenails at the moment, because I've been wearing closed toe, like little pointed toe stilettos are like dying. The toenail is dying. Well, I've converted myself into the bejeweled open toe pleases. Well, you did buy 10,000 pairs of pleases. I did. I bought 14 pairs of pleases from Shumi. I should have seen this video.

It was the best thing that I've ever seen. It was literally the same shoe, but in like different colours. It's your, that's great. I felt that it's your, this video that, cause you got the Shumi voucher. Yeah. For $3,000. $2,000. Oh, $2,000.

And you bought 14 pairs of the same shoe. I did. That is so. That is so hot. And they're all the exact same, like open toe, open back, strappy heel, but just with a different color. Yeah. You could wear it with anything.

That's amazing. It's so good. I'm like, what else am I gonna buy? Yeah, that's the dream. But also, I bought a boot. Oh, that's a good choice. Yeah, like it's good to have options. No, but I think you think that you have to buy like a different

type of shoe each time. Just pick something you like and buy it in every color. And here I did. You know, like I bought those like, um, like kind of purple, tulle shoes. Yeah. Never worn them. Yep.

They're like, they're cute. They're like kind of come up to here and it's just like a stiletto, but like it's covered in like tulle. So like when I saw it, I was like, cute. But like, no, I'll just wear the crystal clacker. Of course you're going to just put on a crystal crack. You just need a clacky mule. That's all you need.

That's it in every color. Yep. Yep. That's why you made such wise choices. I am jealous though. I wish, I don't wish I got the glitter package as well. I'm glad I got the shoes, but also I'm going to steal a lot of glitter. I spent $212 of my $2,500 glitter a go-go thing.

It's fabulous. But no, the issue is, and this is no shade to the small business that is glitter a go-go. I understand times are tight, but I prefer like a holographic really sparkly glitter that can kind of go on anything. Because in my mind, like you want a gold glitter and then a holographic glitter and that pretty much sets you up for most. AB? Like an AB.

You need an AB? I think an AB is like all you really need. Cause that's the most impressive. You're like the shift is so cool. But then if you want to do a gold, you have a gold there as well. I can't really think of many other use cases for other kinds of glitter. Maybe a blue glitter as well if you're doing a blue eye.

A nice soft pink I've used now and then. Maybe. Maybe a soft pink. But when I went to the website, almost every type of glitter they have, which they still have listed on the website, that I'm like, oh, that looks amazing, are sold out. They have like three types of glitter.

One is a black that just shines white. Yeah. And I'm like, that's not it. How is that possible? Yeah, well, it's just like a laminated black. So like when it hits the light, it's black. Oh, okay. So, so, so, so, so, so.

But I'm like, it's not like an interesting illusion or anything. So I'm like, I don't know. We'll see how much of this money I can get through. But it's glittery kink. Glitter environment discord. Yeah. Honestly, I think it's going to be tentacles. Tentacles is amazing.

I think it's tentacles. I mean, it's definitely got a lot of flavor. Yeah. I think it's tentacles. I mean, it's definitely got a lot of flavor. Yeah. And there's a rich history of like tentacle illustration in porn and like in stuff. That's fun. So I just like the thing that's like, I don't know, there's something about it

coming out of Japan, which is like, there's something so tied up and like restrained culturally that like then to have it tied up and like restrained culturally that like then to have it be like the wildest kinks that are kind of the most, I don't know, interesting and exciting and science fiction themes. Yeah. Giant tentacles in hentai coming and feeling every orifice. That's so good. I love it.

Like give yourself over to the tentacle. Yeah. I love that. What about feeding? Oh, give yourself over to the tentacle. Yeah. I love that. That's fabulous. What about feeding? Oh, a feeder. Oh, like a mukbang. Yeah, like I'm paying this young man in like Ohio to eat burgers every day and show me his progress as he gains weight. Why are you doing that? I don't know. I just got money to burn some strikers. I won. Shut up.

I think for $50,000 they can make 10 young boys very fat. I hate you. What have you done with your rating gear? Well, let me show you the pictures. They wear twinks. Yeah. Now they're me show you the pictures. They wear twins. Yeah. Now they're dads. Yeah.

I converted a bunch of boys into dads. Poor Max. Cage. Cage. Cage. Oh, what about like, um, a cage, like locky, locky copper. Yeah. Locky copper.

Oh, um, yeah. A gorgeous little copper cage. Chastity. Yeah. Chastity. Also my daughter's name. Only for October. Wait, why? cup, cup. Oh, um, yeah. A gorgeous little cup of cage. Chastity, chastity. Yeah, chastity. Chastity. Also my daughter's name. Only for October. Wait, why?

Oh, October. October. Just don't understand what happens when you have a cage on your dick and you get hard. You don't. It kind of like repels. You deny yourself. Yeah, like it can't go the full gamut.

But like, how? It doesn't work. Because it like, there's no space. It goes back inside your body. Hang on, Matt, get yours out and we'll have a look. Matt, put it away. I spent out the whole podcast. Oh, true.

He does have the cuticles. I thought it was a tentacle. Okay. Yeah, no, it goes back inside you. Sorry, what are you talking about? I'm just telling Hazzal to how it works when you're locked up. The boner goes back inside of you. You know how you can kind of squeeze your balls up inside you sometimes if you want to?

You know? Who wants it? You know, if you want to do that. Yeah, that's the art of tucking. Yeah, it's kind of like, it's that, but like with a bon do that. Yeah, that's the art of tucking. Yeah. It's kind of like, it's that, but like with a boner. Like that with a boner.

Ooh. Stiffy. Yeah. It just goes back inside you. The same distance it would go outside of you, but just inside you. You're fucking yourself with your blood. That's right. That's why people like it, Zelda.

What about like just cross-dressing? CD. CD player. CD. That's very Craigslist coded. Sorry on brand. Yeah. For this podcast.

We do have a lot of CDs on this podcast. What? Matt looking? Yeah. Like, my scent. Oh, stop. Stop. I don't do that.

Leave Matt alone. Consent. You have it for one time, Matt.. Consent. You have it for one time, Matt. This is it. You've got to be a good Dom to Matt. He's got an escape. It's the curtain. It's closed.

You're, you're blushing. He's blushing. Remember when I was a velvet curtain? Yeah. On Drag Race? Yeah, I remember that. Hated it. That was fucking first too.

Gross. I loved standing backstage in that very tight little weird shed space. The holding. Yeah, being told to come on. Also, hard ass. Go now. Go now. You've missed your cue.

Oh, reset. What you're working with your boy group. You're a stomp bear. That's drag race. That's drag race. What about like, you know Which I'm working with. You're stompin'. That's on Drag Race. What? That's Drag Race. So what about like...

Next year. Zelda next year. Do you think Zelda will be good on Drag Race? Yes. The delay. Yes. Well, the thing is you have no other option other than to win. We were talking about that on the way here.

We showed them our car, like that is it. You've just got to win. No pressure or anything. That's it? No, there's no way. Because they'll be like, oh, the narrative of Melbourne winning again. Three years in a row and also like sisters back to back. But then what's the other?

Ash to Ash. Ash to Ash. Another kink. Um, but. Ash to Ash. That's not a double ended puzzle. Elizabeth Connelly. Toys and I don't know.

Yeah. Anyway. Um, but yeah, what's the other option? Like going out first, like polar opposite. I feel like that's. You just can't go out second. No, no. So you either tank it or just go for it.

You can if you want. Anything is possible. No, I think finalist and then you make all your money on Cameo at the end. Yeah, I'm down for that. Speaking of, I just joined Cameo. Oh. Like literally this week. What do you have to do to sign up? Is it hard?

Oh, I followed Kongs. Yeah, she sent me a code. I was like, are you sending this back in Christmas? Oopsie. What will it be now? Valentine's Day? And so, you, are you something's back in Christmas? Oopsie. Yeah. What'd it be now? Valentine's day. Yeah. And so we have to take photos of yourself in drag. Unfortunately.

You have to do the videos. Thank you for the angles. You sent me. Oh, awkward. And public humiliation. I apparently am into it. Oh, um, yeah. So you just like, you just set up your little profile and they send you a little

request, you just like do little videos and send it back. Have you done any yet? I haven't got a request yet. I sent one to Brenda. Did she do it? She didn't. She rejected it. She let it lapse.

And then she was like, I'm not doing one for the bitch that fucking beat me in the show. That's fair. And it was also before the finale. And I wondered how to give me a pep talk. I was like, give me a pep talk. I'm about to compete in a finale of a competition. So you cruelly belittled your friend and then were surprised when she pushed back.

I thought it was funny. I'll bet. I would have paid her $20 to publicize. We love. Oh no, there's so many fucking kinks. I... Well, I need some answers real quick because we're running out of time. Yeah.

All right. Tentacles. Tentacles. Tentacles is it. I think it's tentacles. Coming out of like a sewer grate. Tentai, you've won yet again. Once again.

You won the US election and now you're winning this. I just feel like that's very bunker coated. That's good. Can they be purple though? Yes, they can. But like a Priscilla purple because I'm looking at the back. Yeah. Yeah.

Pink highlights. Yeah. Maybe they're coming out of the abyss. Just like that. Out of the abyss hole. Sometimes you get with the tentacles. What's the abyss hole? We have an abyss hole.

There's a general, when we did witch hole, it was a gaping abyss. I'm in Reese's, aren't I? Now where am I? What's your bar? You put me in. Oh, Reggie's. I'm in Reese's, aren't I? Now, where am I? What's your bar? You put me in. Oh, Reggie's. I mean, Reggie's. Oh, that's Ken.

I love that. You're performing nightly at Reggie's with the Scrimshaw 4. I don't know about that, but I feel honored. The toenails can't handle it. Yeah. All right. So tentacles. OK, tentacles.

And tentacles. Fabulous. Fabulous. So with that, we're going to have a quick break and then be back for our final topic. Hello. We're back and it's time to hear from Moobz. Wit is the what?

Wit is the, what's the third topic for discussion today? Oh, thank you so much for asking. Um, I feel like, cause I am a resident in the bunker, I'm going to be very bored. And so I need to sew to like pass the time. Do you like sewing? I love sewing. Sewing your favorite part of drag. It's definitely not makeup.

You have such a quick beat though. I do. Like a 30 to 45 minute beat. Not even that anymore. I've got it down to like literally like 30, 35. That's so nice. I'm so fast. Yeah.

I just don't care for it. Listen, it looks good. Oh yeah, you bought it? Yeah, it looks like soft, beautiful. It looks like, but it's also not a generic beat. It's like a Mandy beat. Like. I just don't care for makeup at all.

I just, I'm just like slap it on. I'd rather get to the bar instantly and party with everyone. Oh my God. Because for the community. I wouldn't want that. I wouldn't want that. Community queen. But when you were at Pride of Alfred's Crate, were you out on the D floor? Yeah, absolutely.

Yeah. So I thought that's what you did. No, when I'm at Pride of Alfred's Crate, my favorite time is I want to be in the dressing room, hearing the tea. Okay. It's going to be a balance. Like, we did a gig there the other week and I loved going out. I was like, I'll go get the drink. Yeah. Cause then you kind of like shuffle through the dance floor and have a dance with the clientele. I don't want to see the people. No, I want to see the people. I want the photos with the gays.

I want, well it wasn't gays last night, but like, it was lesbians, lesbians, I love a lesbian. Um, it was fabulous. Like I want to go like, and I want to like, you know, and it's like be a party girl. I just love that lifestyle. I don't want to be in a dressing room. I love it. Yeah.

I hate the dressing rooms. I feel like that's my dream at a club to be in a dressing room. Oh, it's like I'm at home. What's your like, cause you toured. Yeah. What's your like favorite dressing room from Australia? Um, the best dressing room. Um, and why is the Tivoli? There were, yeah. Tivoli. No Perth. Because the diva there, oh my God, I'm so bad, but there's like a

trans diva who was, she looked like fucking Rose McGowan. Oh my God. Why? And like, Oh my God. She looked like Gwen Stefani, Rose McGowan. Oh, okay. Thank you. Um, she was so, Oh my God.

Why is her name? She's the best. And she was like our, like go-to for the venue and just like, what a vibe. She made everything so fabulous. And she just sat in the room making fabulous shady comments about things. Well, it sounds like you like that person more. The dressing room is defined by how many shady trans women are in there. Okay.

Her purse. That's a good, yeah. The quality of the shade. Well, hopefully they're there for our tour. Oh God. Could you imagine? I don't think we'll be at such a big venue. Well, hopefully they're there for our tour. Oh God.

Could you imagine? I don't think we'll be at such a big venue. Jesus Christ. Okay, so what I would like to go in the bunker, because I am a seamstress to the stars. Beverly Hills, I say from Beverly Hills. Yes, yes. I want what sewing accessory shall go into the bunker. Fun. Yeah. What do you sew go into the bunker?

Fun! Yeah! What do you sew on? A singer? Do you know me? No, it's a Juki. A Juki? No, no, sorry.

Juki is my overlocker. I have a brother extender for my straightseller. My straight? Yeah, it does one stitch. Straight stitch. Do you ever use that? Matt, do you know that stitch? I'm very familiar.

Thank you. Does it have a zigzag setting? Um, no, I don't do that. Does it have a buttonhole setting? No, it's an industrial sewing machine. It does one thing. But it does it well. Very well. I can relate. It goes through leather, vinyl. And then what is your overlocker? You just do all the overlocking with that, I suppose. Well, it's in the name. It's an overlocker. Janome. Overlocker. Oh yeah.

Yeah. It's an overlock machine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love that. It's not like one of those silly little machines that we use in the front. What stitches are we using? You're using, you're using just those two. Yeah.

A straight stitch and an overlock. That's all you need. That's all you need. And, but I was like, I do hand sewing a lot. Do you? Yes. For what? Sewing. And, but I was like, I do hand sewing a lot. Do you? Yes. For what? Sewing. My job.

What part of the garment are you hand sewing? Um, like buttons. I do a lot of basting. I do a lot of like, sometimes there's fabric where you don't want to pin. So you hand sew it like velvet. Yeah, right. Because it's fucking, oh, so much. That's not going to the bunker. Do you, like how many velvet garments you have? I refuse it.

You don't do velvet. I don't do velvet. I hate it so much. What other fabrics in person and on greater? Like no more. Yeah. Hmm. Like a foiled.

No, it's honestly just velvet. Oh, just felt it's just felt. It's just such a bitch to work with. Do you know what I hate is cotton drill that bleaches out and becomes sad over time. Well, you should wash it before you use it. Yeah, but when it gets sun bleached, there's nothing coming back from that. Why do you sun bleach your cotton drill? Well, say you leave your house.

I don't think other drag queens leave their costumes in the back of the car. That's our specialty. No, but like... Oh, because you get the back of the car. I believe that's our specialty. No, but like, cause you get the, the rays through the glass. Yeah. Okay. Cool. No, one of our jackets was taken and someone robbed us and then stole

everything. And then I found it in the alley behind the house weeks later because they didn't want the jacket. They just were looking for money and there was no money. And now it's sunbleached. How do they steal a costume? What's this? It was sitting out the front of my house.

Okay. Fun fact about stealing costumes. Yeah. Okay. So, um, it's a fun fact. It is a fun fact. I'm here. So at the Sportsman's Hotel, we do shows at the Wattman Hotel, the

Sportsman's Hotel in Brisbane. We do shows at 10 30, 11 30, 12 30 on a Saturday night. We did like the big production show. Yeah. We did three big production show. What, we did three shows, big production show. What's the production show around the world? It's just like what it is. They rotate every two months.

Like whatever drag queen wants to put a show. What do you mean around the world? No, just tell us what you wanted to do. If we were doing a production show, surely you'd do around the world where one shows about going to visit, I don't know, this country or that. Yeah, we we. Like how fun. Yeah.

We did one and it was called Globefrockers. Oh. Yeah. We'll see. Obviously like that's the theme that we should have gone for. Globefrockers. Globefrockers. What is Globe?

We did it around the show. Oh, Globefrockers. Globefrockers. Oh, not Globefrogs. Got it. Globefrockers. Cause like drag queen. And so what did you do?

That was the reveal. I waited for that. I let us sneak it out of her. Um, so anyway, so we had a show at 10 30. We did the whole show, but the second week, um, after the 10 30 show, we realized someone has taken the 11 30 costume and it's disappeared. It wasn't a performer. It was one of the patrons during the week.

Someone has gone into the dressing room, taken the costume and gone. Now, what was the costume? It was like a, uh, no, no, that was like, this was the disco show. It was like a purple and red vinyl caftan shoulder piece. Sort of like moment. Like it was a big, like the structure, like the thing. Um, and it's a 10 minute show or 20. Um, they give her about 15.

So we're like, okay, cool. Fuck. What do we do? Missing a costume. So as the sims fish in the group, I went to my studio, um, which is about 10 minutes down the road, cut out the new fabric. So did what got back for the 1130 show performed at all. So I replaced the missing costume in about a 45 minute, like turn around. What?

Or with like, no, that's exactly the same. Yeah. So like, it was like, that's the moment I realized maybe I may be a little bit insane when it comes to sewing. Yeah. I really want to just watch. I want to see a time lapse of just you in your studio and see how quickly it all comes together because you really are.

I'm really fast. Yeah. That's so incredible. But it's a skill that like really only drag queens and maybe people that work in like the Stenfords know. Because it's like when you have to sew such a volume of costumes not just like I'm a sewer and I sew one wedding dress a year or whatever but like everything is like no no it doesn't like it doesn't matter like what it looks like just get it out

yeah get it out. It's got to be on stage in X amount of time. You have three days to make something just get it out. It's got to be the shape, the idea of the costume. Well, kind of like I spoke to Michelle about it for our last thing. She was like, no, I hate that. I'm like, but it is. It doesn't matter. Like the finishes and all that bullshit. Yeah.

The closest like person to a stage is going to be at least two and a half meters away from you as it should be because, oh, gross. Get away, get away. So like, you kind of like, it doesn't matter. Like it doesn't need to be absolutely fucking perfect. It is cause I'm amazing, but it doesn't need to, Matt, why are we laughing? Why are we laughing? I didn't say anything. Are you coming for Mandy?

Coming. Put that tentacle away. Yes, it doesn't really matter what it looks like. It is like- No, I think it's about the vision. It's this shape, yeah. But it's why like a sequined fabric is used in place of a stoned fabric.

Like, you know what I mean? It's like, it's about giving the shine without the expense. It's about like, everything is an idea of what a wealthy woman would wear. So a fur disappears and a faux fur appears, you know. Yes, I know. Anyway. You know, well. Yeah. So what do we think about thimbles? Oh, I love that. That's pretty cute. A thimble is so niche and so great. Help me push that needle through. My finger hurts. But what finger do you put the thimble on? Ring finger.

They rarely fit. They don't make thimbles my size. Get a rubber one. Stretchers. I want the little metal one so it can connect with my foremothers. I'm pretty sure your crick cut could cut out a nice metal thimble. A nice metal G-cal. Can it do that?

Um, what about little crane, um, scissors? Little gold crane scissors. Oh, embroidery, embroidery scissors. Ooh. They're so cute. I foregoed those a little while back. I just prefer a lighter. Oh, true. I just burn the threads.

Yeah, yeah, true. Yeah. It's so, Matt? That's good. I like it. That is what it do the threads. Yeah. Yeah. So Matt. That's good. That is what it do be like. Yeah. Actually, you know what?

Famously like the tomato pin cushion. Yeah. So I hate that the pepper isn't to scale. True. What is that about? What is the pepper doing there? I thought it was a strawberry. No, that's a pepper.

I thought it was like a little mini strawberry that's touched to a bigger strawberry. Mother, no! It's a tomato. That big's gotta be tomato. It's a tomato and a pepper. Is that a tomato? It's a tomato. No, it's a strawberry. It's a tomato.

Oh, alright. Oh my god, everyone please stop fighting. Stop screaming, Nando. Okay. It's a strawberry. It is not. It's a tomato. Then why is there a strawberry attached to the tomato? It's a strawberry. It is not. It's a tomato. Then why does a strawberry touch to the tomato?

It's a chili. Oh, I don't understand. You're the seamstress. I'm, I'm just here to give you the facts. I made my own. I didn't. What is yours made out of? Mine's like tartan.

Oh, that's very cute. Just got squartesh. Edinburgh. There you go. And all that. I was just there, yeah. Were you? Were you lazy?

Were you? I was. Just got squartache. Mm, edge and bra. There you go. Dead and all that. I was just there, yeah. Oh, were you? Yeah. Were you lazy? Wow. That's amazing. Well...

Ah! Wow. She's so fun to talk to these days. Um, the biggest... Wait, okay. Go on. Everyone calm down. Everyone shut up.

Okay. It is commonly stated the origin of the design was the belief that placing a tomato in the mantle of a new house guaranteed prosperity and repelled evil spirits. And that if tomatoes were out of seasons, families improvised by using a round ball of red fabric filled with sand or sawdust,

which became like da da da da da da. However, they also put a strawberry and so it says tomato and a strawberry. Oh, which still doesn't make fucking sense. Makes no sense. Okay. What is it? So tomato to get off, like what? Evil spirits?

Evil spirits. So currently your house is only repelling Scottish evil spirits. That's fair. That's fair. But the rest are flooding in from the black swamp. Those bats. So easy to blame the bats. I don't know, like accessory, like...

I love long dress, hat making pins. They're really good. Uh huh. With a pearlescent top. Yes. But you only use them for wigs. Yeah. Yeah.

Is the, I was like, is there drag queens in the bunker? That's a few. Yes. Um, also, uh, I like just like great fabric shears that are really sharp. And then when you see someone cutting paper with your shears, you're like, No! That's a river fabric! They would never. What kind of shears do you use and do you get them sharpened?

I have a gorgeous, like, 12-inch shears. It's called tail shears. Yeah, match shears. That's what people call me, yeah. 12-inch shears. Tell us another one. Are you flirting with me? in shares. I know this mug is soft.

Um, yeah, get them sharpened every year. So I was talking to passion Couture recently, you're kind of, um, a Melbourne counterpart, sister of the threat. Yeah. And she was like, nah, I'm done with that. Not getting my she is sharp. And it's actually just cheap at a buy brand new she is now. Well, sister of the thread. Yeah. And she was like, nah, I'm done with that. Not getting my shears sharpened. It's actually just cheap, but a buy brand new shears now. Well, yes. She's like, I just buy new shears every three months.

Honestly, yes. Um, it depends what it is. Like I have a one set that I've had for like six years, which I absolutely love what you get sharpened. But there's also like, there's one that like just for leather. There's ones that's like just for sequin and then have like the universal ones. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. That's so cool. Is this what it is? Sequins shears are like, kill me. Oh, death by shears. Yeah. No, gross. That's too forceful.

Imagine a 12 inch going in you. No, that's too big. Matt, too big. Um, No, that's too big. Matt, too big. Ummm. I love the little like, um, little like iron weights. Oh, a paperweight. Oh yes. That is chic. Love those.

But you know what I don't understand? Because obviously like so much of sewing is like tied up in history as we just learned. Um, you know when you get these little like needle and thread kits. like a little, like take home kit, $2 shop kit. And they have that like almost like a gold, like a silver penny kind of thing with the

man and it's got a man's face and like it's used for threading the needle. It's like a thin piece of wire that you push through the eye of a needle. It's called a threader. A threader. Thank you, Matt. Um, are you not skilled enough? No, the eye of a needle. Mm. It's called a thread up. A thread up. Thank you, Matt. Um, are you not skilled enough? No, I can thread a needle. I'm just fascinated by that object.

Oh, and push it through. No, you just go, so everyone knows what I just did. Obviously you can thread a needle, but isn't that a weird looking object that you would never find elsewhere? That is true. Maybe like in surgery or something. I'm not saying we need it. I'm just saying the look of it.

Okay. All right. You don't need to yell for sewing. The accessory I use the most is a hammer. Fucking bitch. What? Yeah. I use a hammer a lot for sewing.

For what? Um, when I'm working with denim. When, whenever you need to like go over the seams for denim, just hit with a hammer. Honestly, serious is cancer. You get a hammer, you hit it and it kind of flattens this out. Like it kind of pushes the fiber out, makes it more relaxed and you can sew straight over it without breaking a needle. Wow.

That's a great tip. It's a lot, I do like a little corsetry. So I do a lot of eyelets, which I use a hammer. I have a, a eyelet press now, which is, which is camp. Um, be a hammer. That's cool. It's hammer time. I think that, I think that's hot.

Is our sewing accessory a hammer? It shouldn't be. But that's for a bunker. What did Andy recommend putting in for sewing? A hammer. A hammer. Honestly, yes, a hammer. A hammer. It shouldn't be. But that's- Oh, for a bunker. What did Andy recommend putting in for sewing? A hammer. A hammer. Honestly, yes, a hammer. It's one of the last things you just don't expect you need,

but this makes life so much easier. Like it's very good for like- Not a mallet? Ooh, maybe like a rubber mallet for like leather. I love rubber mallets. Maybe a rubber mallet. Okay. Well, no, you just, no, I feel like hammer.

Hammer's so aggressive. Honestly, sewing is an aggressive sport. There's like a tape measure. Lame pins. I love the retractable one. I think hammer. I can hammer. And I also love a quick on pick, by just saying.

Oh, that's so, that little evil. Also fun fact, quick on pick, put the little bauble thing the other way. It doesn't go on the top because on the bottom, yes, it goes into the seam. So the little sparky things on the outside. So it doesn't pierce the fabric. What is the spike then for? To chop the threads. No, they use the, it uses the like,

Yeah. So you know how like you had like a little thing and you have like the little. So what does then like, why do they put the pointy thing on there? So you don't put the spiky thing into the fabric. So it's like to prevent, it's like a little guard. Yeah. I get that for the ball ball, but why is the spike there in the first place now? To cut the thread.

But it's not cutting the thread because it's the, the webbing. Babe, I didn't make it. You know what? That's a great, I think, I think the point is like just to start you off and then you put the point, the little bauble thing into it and then you can go straight up. You're so right. Yeah. It's like, get it in, cut the first thread, turn it around, put the ball in.

You're so right. Yes. I don't use them anymore though. You'd never. No, I use little scissors. Why? It's just faster. Did you say that?

What? What did you just say? Mr. Right. Whether you love Mr. Right or Mr. Right now. So hammer? Hammer. Hammer. Right. I'm a mirror right now. So, hammer? Hammer. Hammer. I love it.

Okay. Now we've got a freebie from you, Mandy Moobs. You can put in anything you want. Into the bunker. Oh, okay. A concept, a person, an object, a thing, whatever. Cuisine. Maybe rice.

Rice? Wine? Oh, it's gotta be a wine. I wine. What's the drink of Reggie's? Two for one. Drink and arrival. Yeah! DOA! DOA!

It's gotta be like a Squealing Pig, Rosé. Amazing. I feel like that's what it is. Has anyone approached you for sponsorship yet? Not yet. Come on, Squealing Pig. What are you doing? Be brave.

Hurry up. Do you have a sponsor for this yet? No. Squealing Pig, what are you thinking? Hurry up. Thinker. Yeah, but I feel like it's Squealing Pig, Rose. That's odd.

But also like maybe just the brand of Squealing Pig. Because they do everything. They do sparkling. They do a red, unfortunately, but Rosé. Love it. Rosé. Rosé. And I am going to say this.

You can never remove the squealing pig. Oh, in that stupid little episode, when you take things out, you can never take the squealing pig out. Well, she's got a, I feel like it'll be hard to deny. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just going to go again. I can already see the banner in Reggie's of like...

And also when you serve it from the carafe, it goes... It's like a gurgle fish, but for pig. Yes. Okay. Anyway, okay. So this week into the bunker goes the fetish that is tentacles. Tentacles are in. Smiling pig boos. Yeah.

And then for the douching method, we have the one, uh, shower shop. Shower shop. But in. In a designated douche room. Yes. A bit of privacy. A bit of privacy, please. Yes.

Let Fran dress her douche in peace. In peace. Yeah. Okay. Thank you so much, Miss Moobz. And a hammer. The sewing accessory.. Thank you so much, Miss Moves. And a hammer. And a hammer. And a solid accessory.

Hit with your hammer. Okay, and a hammer. Yeah. Miss Mandy Moves. Yes. Thank you so much for appearing on this show and deciding on these imperative decisions. It was a hard job. I know.

I'm glad I did it. You were hard the entire time. Ooh. Mad. But it was inside of you. Okay. And with that, thank you listener. Thank you.

Bye bye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Happiness Studios by Natchez. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you have something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoebranbarn.gmail.com. Oh, and would you support us please at patreon.com slash death to everyone. Yeah, right, right. Is this a good thing? Brain!

Ha, ha, ha! ["Death to Everyone"]