Death To Everyone - Death To... Eyes, Cate Blanchett & Pocket Contents

Episode Date: October 22, 2024

Darling heart! We're back on our bullsh*t with the longest ever episode of this show. Is it long because it is good? No. Of course not. It is long because there is no time to edit this week. Please enjoy our lack of effort. Listen to find out... Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo Welcome back to Death to Everyone. A sulangor. A sulangor to you all. And this is a public access podcast. Wait, what does Delta say? She says, this is a public, public access podcast and YouTube. Oh my God. Oh, whatever.

I love her. Anyway, anyway, welcome to death to everyone. Hello. Um, this is a show where two drag queens, Lazy Susan, and Matt Shears, our space car driver. Hello. We all, very enthusiastic. Hi. He's on Beth.

Yes. Um, the, the show is about just two of celestial goddesses deciding what goes into a doomsday bunker to survive the apocalypse. The show is about just two of celestial goddesses deciding what goes into a doomsday bunker to survive the apocalypse. Did you know that they made a song about this show? It's the end of the world as we know it. Do you reckon we could walk out to that, like our live show? We could, but then I'd have to kill myself.

And I wish you... Don't make your hollow threats with me. You've never once followed through. Unless this is the afterlife. Imagine this is purgatory. We're just in this... Celestial void. Yes.

I like that. I do too. What was I going to say? Yes. Um. We talk about a whole lot of things. Yes. We decide what's good and what's shit.

And then we preserve it for the rest of mankind's existence. It's important work, but someone's got to do it. Yeah. It's like an auditory version of a time capsule. Yes. Yes. Kind of. Um. It's true of auditory version of a time capsule. Yes, yes. Kind of. Um.

Business travel, audio media. It was, yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so what's been happening this week before we dive in? Oh, okay. I have one grievance to air. Finally. You know when, you know when someone sends you a photo of their butt.

Silk. Oh yes. She did send us the same image like 27 different forms this week. Yes. Um, no, when someone sends you a photo of their butt and this now, I don't know if you've been sent a photo of someone's butt, but that is a thing that people do to communicate sometimes. I think that some of our listeners have never been sent a photo of Bert.

Can I? I think Matt would be one of them. You've never been sent a Bart photo? Uh, I don't think I have. There we go. A virgin in box. Wow. If I did, it was a long, long time ago.

And it was forgettable. It's worse. Um, no, I don't think, probably. No, I recently... Sorry, I don't think straight people are sending butt pics. Well, I was just going to say, I recently made friends with a straight person and he told me that he's never sent someone a dick pic because girls don't like dick pics. Yeah. It was like, you just don't know cool girls.

Like, what? So strange. cool girls. Like what? Um, I think that's the thing though. Women are, I mean, like fair enough in a lot of ways, uh, not interested in being accosted by men's genitalia because it feels like, um, like that happens enough in the real world. Like it's like, there's a whole context, but I think we need to create some sort of like buffering service for straight women that they can like, like forward those messages. Like an AI tech will decide whether it's a dick pic forward onto their gay friend.

And their gay friend can like curate, survey the scene and say, um, Melanie, this dick is good. Um, it's worth your time. It's worth your time. We're going to be moving him through to the next round of processing. And I think it would actually make straight relationships a lot better. Totally. And that like, we can provide that service.

Any gay person in your life will happily provide that service. We love to receive those little treats. Even if it's a man that I would never, ever, ever want to have sex with. I would look at that dick. Yes. And just like. Oh, it's just nice to know. It's just so, we've said it before.

Yeah, it's like, I just, I don't like any, any version that comes through. I'm open to it. I just need to know. But it's just good to know. It's like the dad from Wizards of Waverly Place. I'm like, do I need to see him naked? No, but they're out there now. And now I'm glad to Place. I'm like, do I need to see him naked? No, but they're out there now.

And now I'm glad to know. It's like that red Power Ranger. Oh, was it good? Yeah, whatever. But I think also it would, um, it would really encourage the guys to like, curate their pictures a bit better. Because like, if they're going to be judged, if they're going to be judged, and maybe there's like a little service that says like, sorry, your picture was denied.

Denied. Rejected. You know, then like, it's, you might spend a bit more time on it next time. Yeah. And we'll give like a, like the feedback method will either be like, did the gay guy jerk off to it? Yes or no? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, you know, I think that we could also do it like, instead of sending it to a close gay friend who might be biassed, we could have it like a capture service on all gay people's mobile devices. Yes. So that when they're trying to like, I don't know. A voting system. Yeah, buy something on Ticket Tech, it's like, can you rate the dick? And then-

Prove you're not a robot. Yeah, prove you're not a robot. Rate this dick out of 10. Yeah. Fuckability, vibes, general texture, shine. Yeah. Also image quality. And then, yeah, is there a flash being used?

Yeah. Yeah. Composition. Yeah. Composition. Yes. Important. But anyway.

Angle. Yeah. My grievance today is about butt pics. Yeah. So you know how sometimes you get sent a butt pick and it's evident that they've recently been sitting on the toilet. Because. Because of the rings.

Because of the ring. The impression of the toilet seat. I'm like, I hate that. Because of the... Zelda, this is a unique experience. But that is, it's very rare. But when it comes through, you're like, come on, if you just waited five minutes,

your skin would have like puffed back out and you would have been back to normal. No. Sometimes, listener, I have a corduroy bed set and sometimes I arrive to work and I still have like lines imprinted on my cheek from where I was resting on my pillow. Yeah.

It's kind of that experience, but of the ass cheeks and upper thigh. Oh, God. Yeah. Isn't that grim? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's like, there's something about the whole butt region that is like a, like a family pizzeria that turns into a discotheque at night.

It's like, we need these two identities to be separate and preserved. It's like, this space has a function. Yeah. We all acknowledge that there's a function, but we can't have the whisper of a memory when you go there for the discotheque at night. Exactly. It's like, you just want to focus on the discotheque. Yeah.

Yes. Ugh. Yeah. I hate that. I hate that too. I also, I mean, like, I think, I don't know, to me, a butt pick, it needs to have quite a lot going on because I just don't, I'm not getting much out of it.

I love a great butt pick. I love it. If it has the small of the back. This is the thing. And you get like a good curvature, but I'm not like a spread eagle. A macro butt pick is insane. Like if I'm just looking at your asshole with no context of the cheeks and the back and the legs and everything else around it, it's like, unless I'm fucking

you through a glory hole, like it's just not reality. Yeah. At which point you don't really need a pit. No, I don't like that. Yeah, I don't like it. Yeah, I don't like that. There needs to be, you need to zoom it out a bit, give us some perspective, see what else is happening. Yeah.

To where you are in the universe. Well, I think that that one is so much more dependent on the mise-en-scene, because to me, a dick pic, even in bad lighting, even when you're still gleaning information, whereas a butt pic, it's like, this is more an aesthetic expression of the person that you are. Like the dick pick is like, that's raw data. And then this is the artwork.

Yeah. Yeah, I see that. Um, yeah, so, so anyway, that's what I did this week. And what about you? I had eye surgery on my keratoconus. Those of you who listened to this podcast quite a bit. I had Coney, which is where my eye, Joseph Coney, where my eye was bulging out. As a result, like not like dramatically, but it was like those YouTube videos of

those people on those American talk shows where they can yeah, like Guinness world records. Not that biggest eyeballed, but you did trip over it a few times. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, it was because I rubbed my eye too much throughout my life, which is distressing because this could have been avoided. Anyway, so then I, as we know, went to go and get it inspected. And then they were like, you've got to get cross-linking surgery. And so let me tell you the story.

I went to go and get cross-linking surgery. I showed up in East Melbourne and the place where I got it done was like a mansion. It wasn't a doctor's surgery. It was an old East Melbourne mansion. Like love to convert housing in East Melbourne. And it was like, welcome to the manor. Like it was so that anyways, and I got there and they put me in the foyer,

which had been clumsily convoyed into a like medical office, but still with like a giant chandelier and like open fireplace. Last thing you see. Yeah, literally. I was like, you've come for the eyes of the reserve, prepare the leeches. Anyway, so then they were like on the, cause this is private health. I don't have private health insurance. I was just paying money.

Oh, for the experience. For the experience. Yeah. So when I got to the front counter, it I was just paying money. Oh, for the experience. For the experience. Yeah. So when I got to the front counter, it said, if there's no one here at the front counter, wait. I was like, get fucked. I'm paying $3,000 to be here. Yeah.

Wait. And so they're like, just grab a seat. We'll come back. No indication is to it. I sat down, literally an hour passed. Like, no one came. Oh my god. And there was this other woman and her husband

sitting in the foyer. And she looked rich. And her husband looked like a rich builder. What did their eyes look like? Well, she had glasses on and I was like, hello, darling, we're the same you and I. Anyway, so then she was like, go and re-trigger the door. And I walked out to the door. She's a dad.

Yeah. I love her. And then I went and like, opened the door again and it went, which I'm like, honey, this is not private health. We're in a mansion, but it's like, isn't saying $3,000. I want like a gong. Echoing down the halls. Yeah.

Like I want my like the substance moment. Anyway, so then finally someone comes out and she's not a receptionist. She is a nurse or health practitioner. I'm like, how many people are in this mansion? Cause at the moment it's giving like Rocky Horror Picture Show. There are three people here. Anyway, so then she's like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll get you set up.

And then we went through into the other room and they like set me up with a new nurse and she like gave me a pill and then was like, okay, we'll send you back out after like filling in like one little form. And then I waited another 45 minutes and I was like, darling, if you didn't need me to be here at this time, I didn't have to be here at this time. I've got plenty of things to look at while I can still see. Um, and then they were like, okay, now it's time coming for surgery. And then they were like, okay, now it's time coming for surgery.

They were like, here's the dropper of your numbing liquid. And they put that numbing liquid in my eye. And then they lay me down on this like flat bed with this like giant machine hovering right above my head, shooting the brightest light you've ever seen into my eye. Cerebro. Yes. And then like a small pinprick green laser point that I had to look at. And they were like, okay, so let's get started. But first thing we're going to do is whatever your favorite music is, we're going to put it on. And I was like, this, I hate this. I'm like, I don't know. I just, this is too nerve wracking. I can't have you like, cause last time when I was the dentist, I was like, Oh yeah, put

on Fiona Apple. Cause that is my favorite music, but for when I'm alone, not for the dentist to be like, God, that PT Anderson breakup was really hard on Fiona. Like she's screaming. So anyway, then I'm like, Oh, we'll just, just put on like chaperone. Like we'll have like a little party. Um, and then she was like, just so you know, we're using Google play and we don't have Spotify premium, so it might, we can't actually pick the song and we can't actually assure that it's going to be the song and then it will just start playing random artists.

And then there'll also be ads. It was like, I'm sweetie, $3,000 for this 45 minutes of whatever. A subscription is $14.99 a month. You could just spend a little bit of money. And also you jazz this up like it's your special day, whatever you want. And then she's like, Hey Google, Hey Google, Hey Google, lying under this giant machine with lights being beamed. I'm like, I don't care if it's silent, just fucking do the job that you come.

And then she's like, Hey Google, Hey Google. And then she's like, play chapel rhone. And then it starts playing not chapel rhone. This like rinky dink American country, Western music by some guy who's like drinking a cause light on his balcony. And, um, that is what plays the entire time. They don't know what chapel room sounds like. So this is what's happening now.

Interspersed with ads. What would you have done if they were like, Hey Google, start the surgery machine. Anyway, so then they like, so what we're going to do now is just lie back and they put an eye patch over my good eye, the right one, and then they were like, and now we're going to insert the opener. And so they put those metal caliper things into my eye to keep it open. Yeah. Clockwork Orange.

Yeah. Yeah. And so at that point I'm like lying back and they give me two stress balls, one in each hand. And they're like, so you don't claw at us. They know about the podcast. Yes. two stress balls, one in each hand. And they're like, so you don't claw at us. They know about the podcast. Yes. And so then they then she was like, okay, are you going to feel a slight sensation,

but your eye is completely numb now? I was like, okay. And then she took what looked like a clear nail polish brush and started painting on the surface of my eye. And my eye is completely numb. And it's like, I'm staring up into a movie screen of my life where I can't feel anything, but like, it's like someone's brushing the lens and they're like physically touching the eye and then she's like, okay, and now we're going to just cover your face.

And they said, covered my face. Um, so I'm just smelling this face. And they said, cover my face. So I'm just smelling this like real intense plastic smell, which is quickly replaced when they're like, and now we're going to just keep looking to that green light. And now we're going to shoot the laser. And then they shot the laser and I couldn't see anything, but I could smell the smell of burning hair that filled the room. And then they're like, okay, we're just going to keep going. And now we're going to begin the, um, start dropping the riboflavin into the eye. Yeah.

And then she like was taking this dropper, which is quite cheap. Yeah. Clearly she's on G and she starts taking this dropper and starts dropping this like yellow, pus-colored liquid into my eye. She knows your brand. I know. I was like, you don't know, but this is actually quite on point. And then they were like dropping the yellow into my eye. And so it was like, and she had to do it for 30 minutes. Oh my God.

Is this that like, you know, when you have surgery and like the skin around is all stained like that, you kind of... The bedadine yellow. Yeah. I love that. And so then she, and I was like, I don't have to do my eye makeup later. Oh!

She was like, trust me, you wouldn't want to go out like this. Ha ha ha ha! I was like, you guys are a laugh and a hair. You're gonna love Chabal Rune in her sense of humor. Oh my God. Anyway, so then she's like, and so we're just there every minute. My whole field of vision goes full yellow and it's like looking up through a water bath, like I can see the drop full and then my whole vision goes yellow and

then kind of goes blurry. And then she, and then the music stops and they're like, Oh fuck, what's happening? I think the battery, let's try it again. Hey, Google. Hey, Google. And I'm like in like, you know, like the diving bell in the butterfly, like locked in syndrome where you're like a patient that can't move and you can only see and no one can hear you.

I'm like sitting under this machine and like staring out into the world through eyes that can't close. And she's like, stop, you're dozing off. You're dozing off. And because like, eventually your eyes are just getting fatigued and apparently they just start rolling into the back of your head. She's like, keep looking at that green light. Keep going. And it's really hard because your eye has been open this whole time. And you've lost the instinct to close it.

And so she's dropping, dropping, dropping, dropping. And then, um, they're like, Hey Google, Hey Google, Hey Google, Hey Google. Anyway, then she's like, now we need to cure the riboflavin with UV light. And so they like turn on the UV light and she's like, we have to leave this for 12 minutes. And so I'm like sitting under this light UV light and she's like, we have to leave this for 12 minutes. And so I'm like sitting under this light 12 minutes and she's like, just keep looking at the green laser and I think the green isn't there anymore. And they're like, oh, sorry, whoops, we turned that off.

And I think you guys suck. You guys actually, anyway, so then they're like, just chatting, like as if I'm not there. And like, oh, Derek, like, are you coming back to work now full time? And she's like, yeah, well, after I had the kid, like he said at the end of the maternity leave, I had to come back full time or else I'd have to look for some other work because he didn't want me three days a week, blah, blah, blah, blah. And they're just talking about that. And I'm like, ugh, and they're like, are you okay?

And I was like, no, it just sounds like that guy fucking sucks. Like how dare he? I mean, of course a man is not letting a woman, you know, you've got a fucking one-year-old child. Are you kidding? And they're like, yeah, girl. Anyway, and then they got it done. And then they gave me my little accessories pack when I got off the operating table.

And it was like a little gorgeous, like, if you know, oh God, this is really old, but like back when you used to fly like Qantas or Ansett, they would give you like a little bag of like a toothbrush and like suggestions for the flat. In economy, that's how different the world was then. Anyway, so it's kind of that thin little bag made out of plastic, but they gave me like all like paracetamol. They gave me the, the pills, the eye patch that I need for sleeping, some like little droppers for my eyes, like just bits and bobs. And it was very sweet.

And then she was like, and do you have the prescription for like the actual painkillers, not just like this shit? And then I was like, uh, and then she was like, the surgeon will have sent it through to you. And I was like, she didn't. And then once again, the surgeon had just completely kind of fucked it. Like, you know, like it was just no care. It was like actually. Yeah. And if it's not in the pamphlet, anyway. So then they like, she came back with an actual prescription for my, um, good shit. Yeah. Oxycodone, which was, oh my God, incredible. And then...

When I did look that up, the key thing that I saw in every snippet was like highly addictive. Oh my God. It was like, girl. Zelda, was like, highly addictive. Oh my God. It was like, girl. Zelda, you have to try this. Oh my God. Because, anyway, I'll get to it. But when I got home, Emmett came and picked me up,

my friend Emmett. And then also when I was like with the surgeon, she was like, we called your friend Emmett. He said he's going to be on the way. And I was like, do you say, oh, I'm coming now. Oh, yeah. And she was like, we called your friend Emmett. He said he's going to be on the way. And I was like, do you say, oh, I'm coming out. Oh, yeah. And she was like, he did sound like that. And then I was like, but it's OK.

He'll be late. Because he's always like, oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, it's just crazy. And then we came out and Emmett was in the hall. And he was like, oh, hey. And then she was like, see, your friend is on time. He's not late. Like you said, he was.

I was like, thank you friend for coming to get me. And so then he came and got me and took me home. Um, but yeah, then I, they also gave me some diazepam to sleep. Um, and they're like, it's going to get really bad on the second and third day. Um, but you just need to stay in the darkness. You can't look at your phone and like, whatever. And so then I kind of started just like having yet one or two of those Oxycodone and they were, it was just like,

you know how they always said Marilyn Monroe was not on Oxy, but she was always on her little like- Elixirs. Yeah, her little muscle relaxants. I felt like Marilyn Monroe. I was like, there was was no care in the world. And everything was like gauzy and soft and like warm, but like, you know, like there's no pain, there's no body feeling.

There was just like, here I am. Oh my God. A whisper in the night. And like, you know, you only have that anxiety like, Oh, I need to sleep. Oh, I need to do this. Oh, I need. It was just like, oh, there I go. And like, now I'll roll over and take another five minute nap.

I'm waking up again. How fabulous. Like it was incredible. Um, yeah. And then Nina came, my friend Nina gave me some pasta and she's like, do you want me to stay in? I was like, stay, go, what is child. But yeah, then like slowly I was able to like get back on my phone and was like, yeah, yeah, I can.

Yeah. Get my little peaks in. Yes. And that's the whole story. Oh, actually the one last piece of the story was that I, they gave me these specialty, like wraparound shades that look like speed dealers. So they do. Yes. Um, and I was like, when on the like later day, I was like, Oh, I'm feeling like a bit better today.

And I'm trying to get my website up, which is now up to buy Lazy Susan merchandise. And so to get all the post stuff sorted for how to calculate postage, I needed like a little scale to weigh everything. So you can kind of put in all the weights in the back end and then it will tell you how much it will cost to post in Oz post. So I didn't have a scale at home. So I wrapped myself up to go outside for the first time. Put on my glasses. Couldn't really. Invisible man.

Yeah. Put on my glasses, felt around in the darkness for a hat, put it on, and left the house. And then I got to the main street and then I saw the post office. It was like, oh, if anyone's going to sell the scales that I need for doing posting things, it'll be the post office. And listen, I wasn't the best on my feet at this point, so I was still kind of like stumbling just a little bit. And so I walk into the post office stumbling in my sunnies that I can't take off,

the speed dealer wraparound, and the hat that I just now realized was the joke hat you and I had bought of the Melbourne storm. From when we were to dress up like tradies. Stagger up to the front counter at the post office and squint at the man through my sunglasses and say, do you have any scales? Oh my God. And he said, no, we don't sell anything like that here.

I said, oh, sorry, sorry. I needed to measure my magnets and my spinning pin. So then I go back out into the daylight like, and I went across the road to Panda Homewares. Oh, I love that place. Yeah. You've got those cool nets from there. And walked in there and there's a young guy. I hadn't seen him before.

I hadn't seen him still. And I walked in and I was like walking around pretending like I was going to be able to find anything, like staring really closely at all the text. And then he finally was done with the, like all the women that he was serving. And then I walked up to him and I was like, hello. I have a question for you, but before I say it, I need to tell you, I'm not a drug dealer. I not that there's anything wrong with being a drug dealer, but I just,

I look like a drug dealer today, but I just, I looked like a drug dealer today, but I've just had eye surgery. He was like, okay. And I was like, I need a digital scale. And then he was like, I think we do have that. And then he found it and then sold it to me and he was like waving goodbye as I left and he was like, happy dealing. Yeah. And that's the end happy dealing. Yeah.

And that's the end of my. Wow. Oh my God. My adventures. And now we come to now. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

That was about three hours ago. Oh my God. That's so funny. Yeah. Not good. Not good. Um, but we are now, no, it's a few days later. And you've taken your speed dealer glasses off for the duration of this pod.

So I can see your beautiful face. But yeah, going okay with recovery. Well, the other part is that I completely just threw myself into the surgery without really thinking about it or preparing for it. You? Hear me. You like doing that, don't you? I will not be attacked. No, I just, I was like, this is the available window between getting announced to be on a

reality television show, coming back from Italy, and then going on tour at the end of the month. So I was like, this is the one window where I can get this done before I need to work to make money. And then I'd also like being like, okay, but I can book stuff in for Saturday, because the fucking surgery is on Tuesday. And it says it has a three day downtime. It doesn't have a three day downtime. It has a week downtime where you need to have this protective lens over your eye and get it removed the following week.

And you can't drive, you can't get any dust in your eye, you can't put any makeup anywhere near your eye, and you can't get any dust in your eye. You can't put any makeup anywhere near your eye. And you can't sweat. And if you know anything about my drag, is that it does involve some makeup near my eye and so much dust and... A profuse amount of sweat. A never-ending amount of sweat.

And so I had to cancel my two weekend gigs. It was trashy. I just remembered something nasty I was going to do to you. What? When I saw your fringe show last weekend, pre surgery, there's a whole bit in the fringe show about you like, like, Oh, I'm thinking about getting Botox and I was going to yell out again. I controlled myself.

Well, that's good. It's not that type of show. No, no, I know you're used to seeing shows that I don't know the cracker barrel or whatever, where you go for a laugh, but this was a like classy event. I see. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, anyway, people weren't allowed to eat jumbo fries and margaritas during the show, a theatrical experience. I'm not sure you're used to. Oh, I see. Um, yeah. I mean, that's it. I now have a whole bit about Botox on my. Oh, no, that's very funny. Um, I just want to get more so that I stopped sweating. Well, it did help, didn't it?

A little bit, but I think I need to get more. Yeah. That's how they get you. Yeah. Your whole body. Yeah. Um, anyway, should they get you. Yeah. Your whole body. Yeah.

Anyway, should we dive in? Yes. Okay, but first before we do, Zelda, why don't you tell us how is the world ending this week? Listener, this week, every day when you wake up, your house, the buildings you work in, Every day when you wake up, your house, the buildings you work in, the public transport stations you approach, every building that has a foundation, those foundations are one foot higher in the air. And the next day, where it's another foot. And so you start to build staircases to get into your house and then slowly but

surely the constructions around you are so elevated that they are no longer inhabitable. Oh my God. And at a point they are all so tall that they fall over. And that's how the world ends. Things falling over. Well, either people are trapped inside if they were perhaps recovering from eye surgery and they didn't realize that when they stepped out, they would be seven feet higher in the

air, they're dead. The people walking down the street underneath them, they were collected on the way. Yeah, it's just, that's it. You might say, well, after the, um, the stepping up, that you might just build a new construction, but then when you wake up the next day, that's a foot higher in the air as well. So there is no escape. You can't build a structure because it will end up a skyscraper that will crush you.

Even like a, any structure. All structures. Hmm. Yeah. What if you just lay flat on a sleeping bag outside? Yeah, but how long are you going to survive like that? I don't know. There's one of the oldest living cultures.

Yes, but sadly those have been erased by the fucking- Giant structures. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that's it. Everything just gets so tall, it's all over. Wow. Yeah. Like in Minecraft. Well, no. Things don't fall over in Minecraft,

unless you build them with sand. Does that happen? Yeah, sand is one of the few blocks that sand and gravel, where, like, it obeys the laws of gravity, whereas other blocks do not. I love that. It's so good. You'll be like, because if you're excavating under the laws of gravity, whereas other blocks do not. I love that. It's so good. You'll be like, because if you're excavating under the ocean or something, you have to

be very careful if you like tap away at sand, because if it's not connected to something else solid, it will all fall on you and crush you to death. Yeah. But if you're mining in a, you know, like a rocky mountain, that shant. Yeah. Okay. Well, that's so good. Shall we take a break? Yes. And welcome back. Hello, listener.

Okay, now, I promise it's unrelated to the other things that have been happening in our lives this week. But the first topic for discussion today is, which eye goes into the bunker? Lowercase or capital? Well, that's what we're going to decide. God, you're cruel. No, I explained this to Lazy before, but this week at work, we launched a product

that was covered in the evil eye, and everyone went fucking crazy for it it because everybody loves the evil eye. So I thought, oh, I like my sister has an evil eye. I do have. It's evil after it's been subjected to all that torture. I've got an evil eye and a good eye. Oh, it's like wicked on my face. I have been ch changed for good. And the apocalypse this week, all about defying gravity until we're not.

Okay. Eyes. The eyes have its small jelly eyes. Matt, I'm going to go to you first. Me? Yeah. I just want to hear what you think about eyes. Eyes. What? Okay. I'm not sure I understand think about eyes. What? Okay. I'm not sure I understand the concept today. Is it kind of like- This is why we don't throw the mat first.

Eyeballs. It could be. What type of eyeballs? Or you're thinking about like different types of eyes. Any kind of eye. Well, I like the eyes that are like, I kind of like the Illuminati eye. Oh, yes. The one dollar bill eye.

Yeah. That little eye that like sits at the top of a pyramid. Yeah. I kind of like a, an eye that has some, so what's the word like, um, symbolism behind it. Yeah. Etymology, another word. I mean, the word behind it. Yeah. Etymology, is that the word? I mean, the root? Yeah.

Yeah. So like, um, the, like the Egyptian eye as well. Oh yes. The eye of Horus? Horus, I think it is. Yeah. Yeah. Those sorts of eyes.

What does that mean? What does the eye of Horus mean? I actually don't know what it means. Okay. Well, you go and research that. And Zelda, I'll ask you. Oh, okay. Well, uh, I like goat's eyes, sweet eyes.

Like a, you like an elongated pupil. Yeah. I think that's so cool. The cone eye. The cone eye. So did you really like Lazy's eye? It was cool. And now it's been flattened. Yeah. She used that's so cool. The Kona. Did you really like Lazy's eye? It was cool. And now it's been flattened.

Yeah. She used to have edge. Yeah. No, it actually hasn't been flattened. There's nothing they can do about it. Yeah. It's just stopped it from... Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. It just stabilizes the condition, which do you know what? Can I say about preparedness people? I told my ex-boyfriend about the eye surgery and then he's the sort of person, he's the opposite of me. I will just show up to the surgery and be like, you told me I needed to be here at this time, do it,

and we'll sort out what the rest of this looks like afterwards. He'll be like, I've done five years of research, I did a PhD in this subject matter, and now I'm ready to do it. But only if you make these special changes to what you were going to do anyway, because like, Oh no. Um, he was like, yeah, yeah. So it's like, it should stabilize things for now. Oh, and he's like, what?

And he's like, well, most people need to get it done every 10 years. And I was like, why have you done more research than I have? And it's of course, because as soon as he found out that I was getting this surgery with this condition, he actually went and did research. That's crazy. Yeah. It's like my friend's mom had pancreatic cancer, which she has been creating or had, they had it cut out, um, had pancreatic cancer,

which is very bad cancer. And because her daughter, my friend, is the sort of person that does a lot of research, whereas she's more like me and is like, we'll sort it out. She came home after like a week out from getting her surgery to take out her pancreas. And she turns to her daughter and she's like,

did you know, darling, that this is one of the most dangerous cancers in the world? And she's like, yes. Yes, I've known that for months. And she's like, they showed me on this chart. And they had breast cancer on one side is relatively safe. And pancreatic cancer is all the way at the other end. As in it very much might kill you and she's like, that's why we've all been stressed, you bitch.

It was incredible. And I think it's rather unkind to force someone with your sensibility to live a life with the other. I can't know these things. I can't know these things. I can't know everything. Okay. I just need to know what I need to know, where I need to be. Yeah. That's enough information for me.

I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I, I, I. Yeah. I. I.

Yeah. I. That means yes. Yeah. Okay. So yeah, like those kind of eyes with like a curious shaped pupil. Yeah. Love that.

Yeah. I love like a reptilian eye that doesn't blink, but has the... Fuck. The name escapes me. The like sclera thing. Yeah. Like the little lens that comes over to keep it lubricated. That's great.

I love like camel eyes with those long lashes, giraffe eyes. We're not talking about lashes. Oh, well, I know, but you know. I think the lashes are part of the eye. Um, you think? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think my ophthalmologist would tell you something different. No, I think if we're talking about eyeballs, then I think you need to have eyelashes on there.

It could be. Well, yes. Yeah. They need to have eyelashes on there. It could be, well, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They need to be included. Yeah. Um, the other thing that I love is this episode of Neon Genesis Evangelion, where Evangelion Unit One has sustained a considerable amount of damage and its head falls off. The Evangelion, listen up, if you don't know this for some reason, a gigantic robots in Japan that are filled with the souls of fabulous women and

their children have to pilot them to defend the world from angels. Anyway, and there's this one scene where its head slides off and you see its humanoid eye underneath the armor and it's so scary. Look at that. Wait, wait. The giant robots in Neon Genesis Evangelion are organic? Yes, bitch. Yes. Well, in what sense are they robots then? Well, they're more like cyborgs, I guess you're right.

So they're giant creatures. They're kind of, yeah, because they're because they're kind of like built off the image of Adam, who's the first angel. And yeah, they're kind of like experimental humanoid, like they're meant to be like an evolution of humans, the Evangelion. Why are they so big? Oh, because they have to fight off the angels who are also very big. Except for Karu, he was human sized, just to trick you.

And then there was that virus one. Oh look, it's a rich tapestry, but that's a great eye. I also like, um, I spent a lot of time working with a faria and we used to do a lot of closing of garments with hooks and eyes. I really like those. They were so cool. Like specifically ones that are like wrapped in like a thick, uh, a thick, uh, thread that are kind of like waxed. So it can survive, you know, many, many years of wear.

The hook and eye. Yeah. What? So they're not metal. They're like coated in like a waxed, yeah, cotton, but they were so good. I really liked those. I've sewn hundreds of those onto fur garments in my time.

Hundreds. hundreds brag about it. Yeah. Why don't you go back and do some more work with the furrier? I could, I suppose. It's a complicated interest. Yeah. But, um, yeah, I could also just like, I don't know, probably sew my own costumes or something.

I guess you have that sewing table. I do. And that sewing machine. Um, and they're great decorations. Paperweight. What about little glass eyes you might put inside of? Into taxidermy animals. I have many, many, many, many of those at home from when I used to do taxidermy.

Yeah. So I have, yeah, so many glass eyes at home. Yeah. I think I want to think about eyes in popular culture. I really like the eye of L driver when Uma Thurman steps on it in Kill Bill volume two. That's so good. Snatching out that eye. I actually sent a picture of her to Benign Girl this week when we were talking about your eye surgery and I was like, Pat, we could get one of these costumes. I have terrible, I have terrible friends. I should show you the conversation. It's really funny.

I will kill myself. But yes, go on. Yes. Well, I love that because, I mean, also if they make a Kill Bill volume three, which I hope. I wonder. I hope she's just wearing a blindfold. That would be amazing.

Such a sick blindfold. Amazing. Sick look. Yes. Cause sometimes the most chic eye is no eye at all. Hmm. I agree. Right. It's like a gaping hole. And it is.

Matt, Matt, now tell me about the eye of horror. Oh, so I looked it up. It's just, it's just a symbol of wellbeing and. I know. So you looked it up. It's just a symbol of wellbeing and- I don't know. Health. You looked it up and then you read a sentence? Well, I read a lot about it, but there wasn't anything else interesting. Who's Horus? Nothing noteworthy from-

Oh, he's a god. And he lost his eye in a fight with Seth, the other god. Darling, that's the context. Okay. He lost- Who's Seth from the OC? Yeah, that's right. Seth Green? Seth was another God. Seth. God. Seth. Sorry, Seth. Spelled S-T-H. Not from the OC. S-E-T-H.

Imagine if Seth was in the OC. Egyptian God. You know. I'd love that. Ryan's a kid from the wrong side of the tracks who goes to stay at a pyramid with the set and his parents. Ruff. Yeah. Don't worry. They really got a bright future of wellbeing ahead.

Um, yeah. I always, when they did the behind the scenes of the OC, sorry, everyone, when they did the behind the scenes of the OC, sorry everyone, when they did the behind the scenes of the OC and they revealed that that pool that they had on the set was actually only as like up to knee height, so they all had to be on their knees if they were ever pretending to be in the pool. Oh my god, that's insane. I just, that was like, I was like, show Beers baby. I was like, oh.

Actually, I just remembered a grievance that I have with your sister. Oh good. Of like, oh actually, well kind of, it was probably a good. Oh, actually, I just remembered a grievance that I have with your sister. Oh, good. Oh, actually, well, kind of. It was probably a good move. But anyway, the episode where we talked about Deadpool and Wolverine, which a lot of it went to Patreon for people to support the arts, I guess. What you missed if you didn't support the arts and only listened to the free version on the regular channels. Peasant.

Was that I had a whole spiel about how fucking ridiculous it was that Channing Tatum didn't wear fucking contacts when he did Gambit because Gambit famously has black eyes with a red iris, which is so cool and an important part of his character. So those are cool eyes. You said that I deprived the world of that. Yeah. Also like, what do you mean so cool?

Like looks like a guy going to like demonia or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. But like that's part of his character is kind of like misunderstood. He's not a demon. Black eyes. It's cool. Oh, he also just like, he looks so busted in that outfit.

God, that was awful. But that was a joke. But then it, I like, I thought it was, but then I don't think it is. And I fear that he's going to come back. And I'm like, he's fun. Like I don't dislike Channing Tatum. I think he's lovely or whatever. No one dislikes Channing Tatum. But I dislike him as Gambit.

Uh, yeah. I mean, I think it's, I mean, we really don't have like a famous Creole speaking actor. No, but you know, that's why they're acting. They can put on that accent. I know, but it's like, imagine if we just had that. Yeah, that would be nice. Like, oh my God, not that he, I don't know, but the New Orleans Gator tour instructor. Yes, the married Lana Del Rey apparently. Yeah, that's great.

That photo is incredible. She just, you know what she practices what she preaches. Yes. Like she is living the fairy tale of being like, and like when people are like, she like is getting with cops and Trump supporters. And I'm like, yep. Do you know what she's on oxycodone? She doesn't know about the world of politics because she's in the back of a Harley drinking like Jack Daniels out of a man's like boot.

Yes. Like that is like, she is the fantasy of her character. Yes. Like that is like, she is the fantasy of her character. Yes. And her character is kind of recklessly apolitical, like, you know, gal just living high life on the road. I love it. I think that that's fine.

Yes. What do you think about kinesiology? Do you think that's crazy? Kinesesthetics? What is that? Kinesiology is where you analyze the lines in someone's iris, like all the color and all the shapes. Oh, who do, who do, who do?

And decide, oh yes, I see that you will suffer from a bad knee in your thirties or oh, I see that you will develop this disease because that's what my iris tells you. But that's my level of understanding about kinesiology. It sounds like a pseudoscience. When I was working at Bacten Sorrento, when I was 14 and nine months, I had a period where I had to work there. You had a period. 14 and nine months is quite late for a girl of your age.

I had. But there's no wrong time to start. Period. Yes. I worked at Bacten Portsey. You shouldn't have to work on your period, darling. You can take time for you. Yes, we're talking about that now. I worked at Baked in Portsea. You shouldn't have to work on your period, darling. You can take time for you.

I had a section of time where I was working in a different store called Baked in Portsea, where there was also Baked in Blair-Garrick. It sounds like a when to open up flagship. It sounds like a when to open up flagship. But baked in, baked in, Portsie was like a tiny little shopfront, but that's where they actually baked all the pies and all the bread and stuff. And I did some time there, like baking the pies and the bread and stuff. I did my damn. Yeah.

But there was this very hot guy, baker that worked there, who I obviously was obsessed with, but didn't quite yet understand why. And... Well, you were just becoming a young woman. He was, um, crazy and was trying to recruit me into kinesiology, because that's what he had like studied. And he was like...

But isn't that like, it doesn't have like a cult? No, it's like culty. Oh. And then like, I got sent have like a cult? No, it's like culty. And then like I got sent all this paperwork and my parents were so mad because they were like, who the fuck is this guy that you're giving your address to who is now sending like kinesiology pamphlets to the house trying to get you to go to their like 10 day retreat package, whatever. He would have been like mid twenties. What a loser.

Yeah. Ew. Imagine speaking to a 49 month year old and being like, spend your parents money on this stupid thing. Yeah. So evil. But then I left and I worked at Paul Louis Chinese restaurant, which I loved. Doxing yourself.

Nothing problematic ever happened there. Doxing yourself. Nothing problematic ever happened there. Did I tell the story of when I was in New York and I had this hookah and I was with my friend Nina. The one with your bloody foot or whatever? No, no. That was in Albuquerque, New Mexico. This is at the other side of the country.

We made our way into the big city, the big smoke, the big apple. Anyway, so we arrived and I was like, ooh, Nina, I've got this guy. Like I'm going to go and hook up with him. You go and hang out with your sister. And so her and her sister went off to a bar to drink and do fabulous things. And I went off to my hookup where we were going to play Nintendo 64. And I was like, excellent. The men are stupid here too.

play Nintendo 64. And I was like, excellent. The men are stupid here too. And then we got to the guy's house. He was a cutie patootie in his apartment, played. No, we didn't. We just, he actually just, I don't even think he had a picture of one when he Googled He just had a picture of one when he Googled it. And then he like, we hooked up and like, when I tell you this man was like sweating on me, like the roof of an old cave, like the Bucking cave, dripping like stalactites forming on his forehead over my body. And my, my face was wet. My whole body was wet from this man's sweat. And it wasn't like particularly like rigorous, like sex. It wasn't sweat inducing sex. Anyway, the hookup ends.

I'm like, I've got to go now. My friend is across town getting drinks with her sister. And he was like, just before you go, I was like, what? And he's like, you should probably get checked out for jaundice. And then he was like, yeah, um, like your, the whites of your eyes are really yellow. So like, and I was like, sir, you were just sweating on me. Like the last days of fucking Elvis Presley, how dare you diagnose me, dude. Like, what are you talking about?

And so then he, I was just like, Oh my God, I have drawn this for the rest of the trip. Oh my God. Cause of course, but I'll say I just have sunburned like whites of my eyes. They're like a bit like it happens. The whites of your eyes become like discolored because you've been in the sun too much. Anyway, I show up to this bar where Nina and her sister are. And they are like, you stink like someone else's sweat.

And I was like, I stink like someone else's sweat and I have jaundice. I need to go. And also that man had a bayonet on his mantelpiece. And after we'd done hooking up, he picked it up and was like, this was, are we, this was from Korea. Oh, yeah. I was like, you have a bayonet, but not on the 10 to 64. Yeah.

What the fuck? Get your priorities on that, darling. Ew. Yeah. I hate that. That whole story. Awful. No, I hated most of the story. How was the dick? I can't remember. I hate that. That whole story? Awful. No, I hated most of the story.

How was the dick? I can't remember. I hate that story. Yeah. But that is, that is an eye story. Yes. And being confronted about a man looking, you know, and I think during the time when I was like trying to like blink through the rainstorm that was above me, I thought he

was like gazing into my eyes, but in his mind he's like, this man's liver is about to fail. Sounds very similar to the experience you had at the surgery, actually. Every time someone looks into my eyes, it's awful. Just a lot of water and yellow. Yes. Anyway, I don't have jaundice, so fuck that guy. Wow. He was just trying to look out for you. Yes. Anyway, I don't have jaundice, so fuck that guy. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Maybe just trying to look out for you. Okay. What do we think about the evil eye and that whole thing? Yeah. I like the idea that you like keep the evil eye on you so that like it keeps the evil away. Yeah.

It kind of gets mislabeled evil, right? Cause the eye itself is to ward off evil. It's a token of good. I think the like actual design is so cool. It's such a nice blue. Okay. The evil eye is a supernatural belief in a curse brought about by a malevolent glare, usually inspired by envy.

The belief is that the evil eye among humans has existed ever since pre-history and amulets to protect against it have been found dating to around 5,000 years ago. Fabulous. I love an amulet. So it's found in many cultures around the Mediterranean region, the Balkans, Eastern Europe, the Middle East, Central Asia, South Asia, Africa, the Caribbean, and Latin America, with such cultures often believing that receiving the evil eye will cause misfortune or injury, while others believe it to be a kind of supernatural force that casts or reflects a malevolent gaze

back upon those who wish harm upon others, especially innocents." Okay. So, the amulet is to protect you from the evil eye of jealousy. In different cultures, the evil eye can be fought against with yet other methods. In Arab culture, saying the phrase, Masha'Allah, God has willed it alongside a compliment, prevents the compliment from attracting the evil eye. Whereas in some countries such as Iran, certain specific plants such as rue are considered prone to protecting against the evil eye. And then it has a picture of the eye of Horus.

Oh, she's back. She's back. Okay. considered prone to protecting against the evil eye. And then it has a picture of the eye of Horus. Oh, she's back. To the back. Okay. Yeah, I think that's a, it's another sort of iteration of that. I guess the version of that is like tickets. Don't get tickets on yourself. Yeah.

You know? Um, well, I've also done a little bit of research and I have something to present back to you. Yes. Um, okay. Well, I've also done a little bit of research and I have something to present back to you. Yes. Okay, so the history of googly eyes. While it's nearly impossible to trace the history of googly eyes that we know today, many sources trace the googly eye origin to a comic strip in the 1900s titled Barney Google and Snuffy Smith.

The character, the comic's main character Barney, had two dimensional bulging eyes that googled. Well, I like that. Googled. Googled. Hmm. I like that. The googly eyes are funny. Oh, here's a good one.

Why do people put googly eyes on things? It gives the objects a silly or cute appearance. Well, I couldn't have said it better myself. I think that we do need another version of the googly eye. I, well, you know what we don't need is that version that has like printed on like pink eyeshadow. I fucking hate that. And there's like few lashes. Oh, yeah.

That's my choice to put on. I will use the eye and then I will decorate around it. Sounds like you think the opposite of what I'm saying. Oh. Huh. Yeah, well, you want a new version. Yeah. No, but I just won't maybe, but I just don't want that version.

What I would love is like a goat eye, googly eye. I mean, we can make you some. Yeah. We could. Oh, you know, there was a time. Okay. So I was like intent on this idea of like finding a new way of doing hen's parties that would like not kill me.

And I was like, what could be like a fun thing? Because I had done like a lot of cork and chroma, like where people paint on canvases and I was like, what would be a fun activity that we could do with a bunch of like people? And I was like, we could do like a Mrs. Potato head kind of thing where I teach them like some drag makeup basics, supply them with the tools and they could like style up. Cause you can't also do makeup on yourself at a hen's party.

Cause oftentimes you're going to dinner after or whatever, like you want to look like an Ugggo. You don't want to look like an Ugo before going out on the town. Yeah. So I was like, we could do it on a potato relatively cheap and then we could all learn and it could be Mrs. Slaytato head and it would be like fun. And then at the end they would come up with a drag name for their like potato.

And then, um, we could provide like a little birth certificate and like a photo of this late Tata. Um, and I was like, that would be such a cute activity. Yeah. So I was like, I'm developing this concept I'm going to make. And I had a hands party coming up and I said to the brand to be, I'm so excited to be doing your hands. I'll be running the activity.

Mrs. Slay Tato head. Like I said it, like I'd run it a thousand times before. And then I was like, I spent the week leading up. I was like, okay, I'm going to make enough. Cause they had like 60 people at this hands. I was like, I'm going to make enough little cause like, I didn't want to just give them a potato.

I wanted to give them like some eyes and lips and ears so that you could kind of do the makeup around those elements and just stab them into the potato. And I was like, okay. So I made 120 little eyes and like lips and ears out of air dry clay. No, out of polymer clay, using like, moonstones, you know, these little beads, and then gluing like an iris on the back, and then you put the like, coating around it, of the like, polymer clay to give them different

like, eyelid shapes. Did all of that. And they've like, enjoyed themselves. I don't think it was like the runaway success that I had dreamed where they're like, I can't wait to tell everyone about Mrs. Slaytato Head. What a great new activity where a drag queen walks you through her process and you get this fabulous potato at the end that like you just give back or whatever, but you get like a little birth certificate keepsake. Yes. Um, it was just so sad.

And now I have like so many of these eyes. You should just put them on something. Well, I, I dreamed that one day I'll do it again. Oh, it was fabulous. I think that's camp. I think like that to me reads as like something that queer people would love and would confuse straight people. Well, also the little like, I think it's just a, just a problem in society.

Really? If people don't like that. Well, also I just think like when you're organizing hens parties, it's really hard to know what the options are. Like you, it's like, what are we, what are we allowed to do? And if you have a hen that doesn't want to go to like a stripper or whatever, like they want more of a wholesome activity, like a cork and chroma painting. Then I just was like, this, there's a hole in the market here for something.

Cause like oftentimes they'll book drag queens, but then be like, now, what are you going to do? And I'm like, entertain us. I would love to have an offering and be like, this is an activity we can do over several hours. I know like an hour and also you're going to allow a four hour period. Short intermission. Get back to work girls.

And I also was like super conscious of like, well, then I'll take all the potatoes and then I'll use them. And so I took all the potatoes and I skinned them and boiled them and cook them. Peeled them. Yeah. But it was so weird to like peel off these faces that had been put up. I actually made the most delicious baked potato. You ate all those women? 60 women? Mrs. Slaytato?

I had to throw a lot of them away. But they were like parboiled and then baked for a long time until crispy. But you know when they're parboiled, peeled and sliced, like there's that kind of potato muck that just clings to the outside where it's a bit like crumbly and that gets like super, super crispy and golden. They were the best baked potatoes I ever made. I just, I'm like, there are times in my life, this happens every so often where I realized that I am like a kid that went to a community school and it just like comes out so profoundly where I'm like, doesn't everyone want to do this activity that I've organized for us?

And, um, and you're like, oh no, no, that's stupid. Of course they don't. Why would they want to do that? They just, they got to live. Okay. And we need to decide which eye is going into the bunker. Can I say I want to nominate my right eye? Oh yeah. Cause it's just not done me wrong this week.

Oh, that's a good one. Yeah. Goodie. Do you know what I'm very impressed by your restraint, Zelda? Why? There's been no eye of Sauron. Well, because I obviously was thinking about it, but we just put in the mouth of Sauron. So that we're going to get all of Sauron.

All of Sauron. The hand of Sauron. So they were going to get all of Sauron. Except for the representation that we saw in Rings of Power, because what the fuck is that about? What was it? Have you watched? So I have. I knew it! I knew it! Didn't I say, didn't I say you should watch it?

I didn't watch episode two and three, three and four, but no, I've suffered through the rest. I, you know what, actually you say something. One moment. Matt, did you keep watching? Yeah. You love it. It's your favorite what, actually you say something. One moment. Matt, did you keep watching? Yeah. You love it. It's your favorite show.

I, it's not my favorite thing in the world, but I'm like, it's, it was good. I don't know. I like, I just enjoy, I'm with these shows now and superhero movies and stuff. I'm not like overly critical of anything anymore. You're just like, I'm looking for some time off. Yeah. I'm just like, just enjoy the spectacle of it all and just not nitpick it apart. Cause you sound like you've been on Oxycodone cause that's how it feels.

Just lying there in a pool of bliss. Just watching my shows. Wait, do you watch it on the telly or on your phone? Um, I have a projector at my house, So I watched it on the projector, big screen. Yep. But I'm just like, you know what, like there's just so much content now. Yeah. Like so much to choose from.

That's good. There is. So like they're not going to win with everything, you know? And I'm just like, not everything can be a hit guys. Sounds like you're admitting that it's not a hit. I'm not saying it's a hit. I'm just saying I enjoyed the like fantasy storytelling elements of it. You know, I'm just like, Oh, you know, some dwarves and the smells and

that's what's happening. You know, it's not like it doesn't need to be perfectly representative of, you know, the most amazing story and script and real life and, you know, plausible storytelling. You're right. Why have expectations or standards? I mean, I've been saying it for years. I'm just like, you know, yeah, I think, yeah, I think with some things I'm like, I'm just appreciative of when like a show or a movie is really good, you know, but I'm not like going to just be angry if something isn't that good anymore.

Yeah. You know, that's what my feeling is, but yeah, it's a little bit, it's a little bit, um, corny, cheesy. bit, um, corny, cheesy. So I, uh, have watched a few friends with my friend Hayden. We hung out and watched the first couple of episodes. Then we went away and I was meant to watch the other ones, but obviously I chose to live. You chose to watch every franchise. Yeah.

Yeah. Then we came back and watched another episode or two. And I was like, oh, I didn't watch the other ones. He was like, what? So then we watched a few more. And then that was that. And then I was like, OK, well, I'm godlike. Would you describe Hayden as someone with taste?

Yeah. What about me? Would you describe me as someone with taste? Sure. I see. Would you describe everyone as someone with taste? Oh. Not while they're listening.

But anyway, like Hayden knew that I wasn't planning on watching season two, but like blah, blah, blah. Like what else are we going to do? I don't know. Mrs. Slate's head is right there. That's an activity. So anyway, we suffered through a few episodes that I didn't watch, then we suffered through another one and then I was like, okay, well, I'm nearly at the end, I might as well just

get through it. And then I did that this week. So earlier in the week, I messaged Hayden to say, like, hey, I watched episode seven last night, I'll do episode eight tomorrow or whatever. And he said, ooh, nice. What do you think? Now, lazy, do you want to just describe what's happening here? Oh no. Okay.

Well, from what I'm seeing across the celestial void, there's blocks and blocks and blocks and blocks of text from here. No, that's from me. He said, okay, listen, I'll give you the abridged version. I'm sure Hayden wouldn't mind. He said, oh, nice. What did you think? And I said, it's fine.

And then I said, this was about episode seven. And then I said, no one is running through a river minutes after it's been drained. The riverbed would literally be impossible to traverse. How did the dam not overflow? It's not like the rocks also excavated a lake where the rerouted water then flowed through. No new riverway was created instantly by the fucking catapult into the mountain. That's not how dams work. Then I said, having one close up on a horse's desk is not a sweet nod to Tolkien's genuine love and affection for horses and the importance that they play in the series.

It's a gratuitous shallow pandering at a point where the mediocre riders are thinking that we'll have the most impact because the horse died, so now we care. Sauron having telekinesis fucking sucks because he's also shown to have influence. That is his power. Lean in on that. Is he convincing and control people's minds through his manipulation? Or is he just telekinetic? Like, he doesn't need both.

If it's the latter, why the fuck would he waste time manipulating people when he can just literally control them? And then I said, I did love that that random elf woman died. And then I said in brackets, see Queen Orc critique from the pod, because she was classic Queen Orc, some character that doesn't exist, that apparently they felt needed to exist. And then I said, fuck that pointless character that died. I hated her. Matt, she sucked.

Anyway, then I said, I kind of did love the Queen Orc, who was the two I see of the army, who was actually an Orc, especially when he was like, I thought you loved us, if you know, you know. I thought that was good. And then I said, oh, I now see why the Ents were given, oh no, I now see that the Ents were given nothing to do in the series, and their inclusion was just a marketing ploy to pull in fans

with a false promise of them having anything to do. And the Ent wife factor is very similar to the horse critique, as in it was just fucking pulled in because like, oh, you know how we talked about the N-Wives and how they're not around anymore? Well, they were there, but they didn't actually fucking do anything. So we didn't need to see them. That's not what good storytelling is.

Just because we want it generally doesn't mean that it fits in this story. I like seeing how the rings corrupt everyone, but it's a little hot and heavy. I don't think that corruption is like fucking instantaneous when you put everyone, but it's a little hot and heavy. I don't think that corruption is like fucking instantaneous when you put on the ring because they're not the one ring where that might happen. But even then we saw that it doesn't happen that instantly in the fucking original text. The random troll was fine, but laughing while damning, oh, while dying, oh, that's so menacing, so evil. And then I said, but sorry, it kills without discrimination. So is it an animal? No, because it had instructions to use

the machine to bring down the fucking wall. So is it an animal that's sent into the battlefield to kill all and it has zero intelligence? Oh, but then for some reason it doesn't have the intelligence to not kill the orcs that it's literally fighting for, like executing the orders that... And then I said, I did like that Sauron didn't fight in the battle. And then I said, I hated that a platoon of riders

would be able to stop meters ahead of their target because gasp, is that Galadriel in a cage? Also, when they revealed her with the fucking like pulling of the curtain was so stupid. I said, I liked the dwarf king on his greedy throne surrounded by jewels and his beautiful turquoise ring, which was so good. And then I said, I hate, hate, hate the continued verbiage used to echo lines from Lord of the Rings. It's so transparent, which it is.

It's fucking tragic. I hated that stupid catapult firing into the wall to ensure that the orc was dead, because that was so stupid. Why would you fire a catapult into the wall that you're trying to defend? And then I said, I did like Sauron gaslighting an entire city that feels uncharacter. And then I said, I hated the blah, blah. I was tortured by Morgoth line. Fuck off. It's so the writers being like, we know the source material,

we said the name, see? But again, without any context, it's just that. It's just a stupid Easter egg to placate the nerds. Not part of a genuine story that they should be telling if they needed to. Like, why do I care about that sentence if that's all that we get? It's the opposite of show don't tell. And then I said, that's if that's all that we get? You said all of that.

Oh, I've sure don't tell. And then I said, that's all. And what did he say? As I'm applied, he said this scene to class. That man hates you. Yeah. I think he might've missed the point. Me. I think you might've missed the point there, Zeno. Me?

I mean, you did just describe it. You think of episode seven, Matt. I'll read you my reviews. Matt said, calm down. It's all good. It's fine. Yeah. Anyway.

That sounds like what you described sounds awful. Then you describing it sounded awful. Yeah. You're looking at wrong. I mean, listen, take me back to the only fantasy story that I want to hear about. One of a young girl named Sabrina Spellman, just trying to make it through a day at school with that evil Libby Chesler. Oh, it's coming for her.

I thought you were going to say, oh, I just remembered another I. I thought you were going to say Discworld. I love Discworld. I do love the I on the book in Hocus Pocus. That's a great I. That kind of like rolls around very Hocus Pocus, that's a great eye that kind of like rolls around very, um, poorly. Yeah. Animatronic eyes.

Yeah. I love that. Yeah. I just, you know, I'm stressed out about what you just said about everything you just said, just like really upset. Yeah. Why do you watch it if it makes you that stressed? Well, I wasn't going to, I was forced.

Hayden actually put a gun to my head and I said, I hate guns, but not as much as I hate season two of the rings of power. I just think like, um, yeah, this is, it's been, it sounds like you've made a mistake. Sounds like you've watched something that you are not going to enjoy and that you knew from eight hours of watching that you wouldn't enjoy another eight hours of watching. And episode eight was worse, but I do like the title. It was! There's no more of this.

It was objectively worse. I can't even tell me. I knew it was bad. I knew it was there the first time I saw it, and I didn't make the mistake again. Yeah, but I did enjoy the character of the dark wizard. Stop making things up for attention. Okay. Anyway, I don't get what I.

To not Saron's eye. Well, here's my pitch. I think because we are in the celestial void, it would, it would pay for us to do avoid, it would, it would pay for us to do a bit of due diligence, keep tabs on the bunker and I propose that we use my right eye on a kind of miniature. Like a Palantir kind of thing. Palantir. That's another Lord of the Rings thing. Um, on a kind of the Sauron tower.

Oh yes, yes. And, um, just have it like looking around. Watching. I like it. I like it. But also like that, like the mouth of Sauron needs to be the herald of something. Yeah. And that's...

The celestial goddesses. Yeah. And we can blink like this. And so when it's really quiet, you'd be like... Yeah, I like that. The sounds of the bunker. Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

Oh, okay. That's good. Let's move on. Okay. Pull your right back. And we're back. Oh, look at that. I hope you're back. Oh, look at that. I hope you didn't watch Rings of Power in the break.

That'd be a waste of time. Now, how long, what do you think the cultural half-life of Rings of Power is? Do you think people will talk about it in 10 years? No, I don't know that it's going to last the five seasons that they planned. How awkward. They should like that tragic JK series that failed. What? The Fantastic Beasts.

Imagine doing three out of five movies and the franchise is Harry Potter. That's so embarrassing. Yeah. I mean, it's like Divergent. Um, yeah. Well, they never made the last one. The, I think, you know what people need to stop being shocked when shows end after one season, do you know what's good?

A one season television show. Yeah. But as long as it has like a good ending, you know, like if they're down to the fucking writers, but if they're intending to do more and then it gets canceled or whatever, then that feels like, yeah, but that's down to the fucking writers. But if they're intending to do more and then it gets canceled or whatever, then that feels like, yeah, but I think it's like shows that are just one season that are fully wrapped up in one season or two. It's amazing.

But I like would love just, yeah, like a show where it's like one season. It's each season you do wraps up. Yeah. Yes. They should be like a one season arc that. Like Fargo. Yeah, exactly. But not like a anthology.

No, I guess. Yeah. But it's like where it's like, there is a main, like with Buffy. I was just going to say it's Buffy. Yeah. It's like, that's how you future-proof yourself. Yeah. Forgets renewed. You tell the next story. Yeah. It's like that's how you future proof yourself. Yeah. Forgets renewed, you tell the next story.

Yeah. But each season you can tell that season's story. And there's still threads that are left. And I like, I think that I just love when threads are just loose sometimes. Yes. Like it's fine to be like, oh, I wonder if this is ever going to happen. That's. And not have it answered.

Exactly. And just be like, goodbye. That's why we is ever going to happen and not have it answered. Exactly. Goodbye. That's why we didn't need to see the end wives. The end wives of middle earth. Yes. The real end wives. I'm a tree.

Yeah. I'll watch that tree. I'm a giant fucking tree. I'm going back to my roots. When I don't like you, I get up giant fucking tree. I'm going back to my roots. When I don't like you, I get up and I leave. Go on, you got one more. It's time for me to branch out. Okay, that's good.

She was a fucking ent. I put the ent into T-U-ant. Do you think ant is like a slur? Yeah. She was such an ant. She was a, she was queen orc and she had an attitude problem. Oh my God. Okay.

Oh, um, okay. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. Oh, okay. Yeah. Next topic for discussion today is. Which real hint? That's what I'm thinking.

No. What from your pocket is going into the bunker? Okay. Sheldon, it's time to pull out what's in your pockets. Oh, no, I emptied them before. I didn't know we meant literally. What do you mean. Oh, no, I emptied them before. I didn't know we meant literally. What do you mean? Oh, okay.

Well, before, how this happened was we were walking to meet our, um, space car driver for a coffee. And I pulled a small, uh, little tab of silica gel from my pocket. Silica gel. Oh, like one of those packets that absorb moisture. Absorb the moisture. Ooh, this gave me so much silica gel. Oh yeah. Because if you like, don't put the moisture anywhere, it just pools.

Ooh, in your eye? What? Well no, it can pool anywhere. Oh right. Okay, I've now pulled out everything in my pockets. I normally have more, which is kind of disappointing. There's many pockets in those pants, darling. I'm not wearing pants.

You got cargo pants on? She's wearing overalls. Okay. Okay. But yes. Okay. Well, so yes, today in my pockets, I had a little thing of silica gel. Yeah.

What did you get? Okay. So in my pockets today, I have my keys. I have my keys. On my keys, I have my key fob for my car, which we didn't drive here. And also the open the car button is gone. And I don't know how you meant to fix a key fob, but like I can't, I have to carry around a bobby pin with me everywhere I go. And when I want to open my car, I produce the bobby pin from my back pocket and

depress it through the tiny little hole onto the tiny little button. I go and when I want to open my car, I produce the bobby pin from my back pocket and depress it through the tiny little hole onto the tiny little button to open it. I think that's how most people do it. I think it's fine. Yeah, that's it. It's like opening a small child's diary. And then I have a key for a lock that goes onto my bike. Then I have like a little pill holder, like a little pill that unscrews.

From Thorn Harbor. I have one of those too. Cause this is slapped. Downanddirty.org. Yeah, for your prep. And then I have my house key, which is Superman. Because you know what, when you go and get your house keys cut, you like have a choice between like Encanto and like, like Melbourne Storm and like all of that shit.

So I went for the one that had the best kind of set of two so I could make like one for my boyfriend and one for me. So he has Batman eyes, Superman. But I'm like, I would happily choose anything else, but the range is just so slim, deliriously bad. Yeah. So that's's my keys and then I also have my old air pods because I currently can't find my good ones oh you know that's them that's good these are just the regular air pods from like six years ago yeah it's such a good sound mmm yeah and then I have a 20 cent piece it's quite curious and then I have a 20 cent piece. That's quite curious. And then I have a tissue. Yes. And then I have a pair of wraparound sunglasses.

And then I have a telephone. Oh, true. I suppose my telephone was in there. Tell us about your phone cover. I don't have one. Oh. I have an Evangelion phone cover. It is the logo from Nerve. God's in his heaven, all rights with the world. Mm-hmm.

Is that all you have in your pocket? I hate having things in my pockets. I hate it. That's why I always have a bag. Always. Always, Jerry. Always. Sometimes, if I go out like...

What's your anxiety around that? Can we speak about that? I think like... No, tell us. I will. Be brave. I think like I just, I don't want my pockets to be bulging. I'm trying to go for as slim as possible.

And I simply can't afford to have things in my pockets puffing me out from the sides. What if they made like a brand of like, for the woman on the go, skinny gum. And it's like a gum that lays flat in your pocket. It's like, no one will think you're fat if you have skinny gum. Yeah, maybe. I think that might exist. You don't need another meal. You need to scheme in.

Yeah. We make a whole series of things that lay perfectly flat. Well, then there are like slim line things, but they're all ugly. So like, I'm not going to get a fucking ridge wallet. Like, you just said that. Like, I know what that is. What's that? Don't you use YouTube?

No. I also have free YouTube. Oh, well, no. Like there's so many YouTubers that I watch that like I spun this video sponsored by which it's usually like the woodworking ones because it's kind of like mask, but you're selling like a little purse, but because the purse is made out of a piece of metal, it's brought to you by boy purses literally, but they're like slim line little wallets that I don't know. Are they the ones where you press a button

and the cards flip up? I don't know. But I know I hate them. It sounds like you want them. No, they did do a, no, it was Aubergine or whatever. There was like some that did like a Star Wars collaboration and I was looking at it and they were so misc. It's like, like that space grey, like gunmetal colour

and it's like, this is the Death Star one. I'm like, no it isn't, it's just grey metal. Yeah, it sounds like you had a lot of factory leftovers of this space grey colour. Literally, yeah. Anyway, um, yeah, but I've also been betrayed by like, you know in summer how I always wear been betrayed by like, you know, in summer, how I always wear those like particular, like cotton short shorts.

No. Okay. Well, great. Anyway, I have like these particular shorts that I love that I wear all the time. I know them. I know. Okay, good. Yeah.

Um, but those pockets and also like shorts in general, or like just like a looser fabric, sometimes things fall out of those. And I've had that happen. And I'm sick of being betrayed by the garments that I'm wearing in many different circumstances. There does need to be like a class action lawsuit against like boogie board, no, boogie board, board shorts where like boogie board shorts. Yeah, there should be one against them, but for different reasons. Yes. I can see you've got your boogie board shorts. Have I been calling them that this whole time?

Boogie board shorts. You still do a lot of boogie boarding. But speaking of having pockets that are too puffed out, you know when you're in the ocean and you're swimming and having a great time and then you stand up really quickly and your pockets get filled with water and then you have like bulging water pockets. Oh, when you get in a spa bath and your pockets are full of air. Yes. Everyone's looking. You pop them.

Everyone's looking. And the bubbles aren't on yet. Yeah. It looks like you did a big fart. The bubbles come out and it's like you did a big fart. And you're like, no, I don't do that. I don't ever fart. Actually.

Did I have a lady? I don't ever actually also did all gay guys like hump the like the pump thing out of the spa or what? Yeah. What do you mean hump it? What do you mean? Yeah. Like the water jet. Like put your dick inside of the water jet.

What are you talking about? the water. Sex in the spa. What did you say? Zelda? I said, that's what I said. So anyway, Matt, what's in your pocket? Yeah, Matt, what's in your pocket? Um, I've just got a little fidget clicker thing. Go on, give it to the mic.

Yeah. It's currently broken. Too much. Um, and my phone, that's it. And my sunglasses and keys, I guess, but that's it. Nothing interesting today. Really. Okay. Sometimes I keep receipts in there.

Well, it sounds like you don't really have anything of worth. No, and I don't really carry a wallet anymore either. I just use my phone. Well, that's the thing. I think wallets are kind of out. Especially like it's annoying that Apple, for whatever reason, like if you're in Melbourne, we don't have Mikey ability on Apple phones. You can have it on Android.

No, you can on Apple phone now. What? Yeah. You're Mikey? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? You can. What do you mean?

You can. Like you can tap on with your- Yes. Like you add it to your Apple wallet? Uh, no, you have to do it in the Mikey app. Like in the PTV app? Yeah. I have noticed that she's there now and I'm like, that's my card in digital film. But you can tap it.

Okay. Well, nevermind. I'm going to disregard my wallet for all future outings because yeah, sometimes if I'm going to the mic, the transport card. Yeah. I'll have my phone. One month ago, Apple users can finally show public transport tickets on their mobile, but there's a big catch.

What's the catch? Available from Wednesday, the 18th of September, the new electronic ticketing option will conveniently provide passengers with a link to their ticket via SMS or email. What? What? E-tickets. Oh, this is for V-Line.

What the fuck? Tickets will also be valid across Metro trains and Yara Trams network. The tickets will also cover additional travel. No, no, no, no. This is not it. Matt, you say. Well, how does it work? I'm pretty sure I did it like,

Matt, you've been faravading. Well, maybe it didn't work. I mean, you can add your card, transport card to the app now. Yes, that I've done. But that's just for topping it up. That's what I thought. It was just like to check your balance or whatever. Honey, you've been faravading.

You've just been waving your phone in front of the receiver being like, there we go. I get it. I get it. I mean, I'm pretty caught like one tram in the last year. So, Matt, people come to this show for verifiable truth about the world. Yeah. And since you've been here today, you have been spreading malicious misinformation. First Horace, his eye.

Yeah. I didn't give any misinformation. Yeah, but you didn't really give any information. Yeah. Do you know what? Sometimes a lack of information and nuance is misinformation. And then it's all Mikey scandal that's rocking this show. Sorry.

And then there was a, I think you spoke for about an hour and a half about how fantastic season two of Rings of Power is. Then you're spreading lies. No, no, no, no. You're putting words in her mouth. Active untruths. You are putting spin, honey. This is the Fox News.

Yeah. Did you see Elon's, I don't know why it came up. Robots? No, God. Oh yeah, the wee robots. I did see those. Did you see that they were all like, they were- Puppets?

No. Were they people in suits? They were being like, oh my God, one of us should finish a sentence and one of us, I'm going. You go, you go. No, it's okay. Oh man. What would I say?

Puppets? No, they're fucking, um, he posted some like crazy, crazy, like Trump video about like, if you vote for Kamala, you'll be opening the borders and actually voting for the secret people who are ruling America. Yeah. It's like, what? He's got worm brains. Yeah.

But then also the robots and how they were all copied from. iRobot. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Crazy. And the cars. And the car. Everything was copied from iRobot. Yeah. Yeah. That's so funny. Crazy. And the cars. And the car.

Everything was copied from iRobot. Well, if you're going to pull from any incredible science fiction text in the last 30 years, I recommend iRobot. What about, didn't he call the show Wee Robot? Oh my God. I thought he called it Wee Robot as well, didn't he? And soon they robot. Mmm.

Or my favorite game. We fit. If she was there, I'd have gone. The yoga trainer. She's in the bunker. We fit trainer. Um, yes. And they were not robots.

They were just being controlled by off scene, outside people who were like speaking and controlling their movements. Oh my God. That's so evil. That's Matt behavior. Come on. Come on. Come on.

Yeah. Ooh. Okay. But anything else that you might find in a pocket? I got something in my pocket for you. Pocket money? Pocket money. Ugh.

God. Did you ever get pocket money? Yeah. Privilege. Yeah. But we like, I mean, we had to earn our pocket money. We did. There were no free passes. Give me a sense of the tasks that you had to do.

Well, like take out the Rubbish and Recycling whenever it was full. Not like once a week, like as soon as it was full, you had to take it out. Okay. Um, then I would say loading and unpacking the dishwasher after dinner every night. You had to wash the dishes? No, like loading the dishwasher. Oh, you put them into machines. Which I hate, this washers these days.

Let me tell you, I will never use a dishwasher. I fucking hate it. When we were overseas, some of the Airbnb's had dishwashers and the smell that they leave on your plate is just, and I know before you message me, I know that you have to clean your fucking dishwasher in order to keep it cleaning, but there's something that can never be clean about those fucking pipes. Yes. I can't get up in there and get rid of that weird smell.

I also, I watched some really interesting videos the other week about how dishwashers work and like how the little contraption in the door for the powder, you need to fill in both because they do like, uh, like a pre-rinse, which uses one container and that pre-rinse gets all the most of the shit off. But in order to do that, it needs the detergent. But if you only put it in one compartment, it drains that, and then the next load of water, what it uses for the next hour, because it takes all the dirt away in the first one,

and then that second one is what really does all the deep cleaning. So if you don't put detergent in both, you're either not getting all the shit off in the first one because you didn't put detergent, or you're suffering through filthy water with the second. So fill both. And also the little pods are a lie because it can't do the job. Like that's not how dishwashers are built.

They need the two contraptions. Our dishwasher growing up only had one compartment that opened. Yeah. But then what I also found was that some have only one, but then for the pre-wash, you can just like sprinkle it in because it's like it fills up and then it's there. So maybe that's how that was intended to be. I don't know. I don't know.

It depends on the model as the- It's not my issue. I'm out of that game now. I just hate them. I want control. I can wash my own dishes. Thank you. I just don't get as well the thing of like five hours.

Oh my God. I'm sorry. I'll wash the dish. That's fine. This is a 15 minute job. Yes. When did we decide to like the convenient thing was to have all of your plates out of action for three hours. That's the thing. You also have to like accumulate it to fill it. Otherwise you're evil. like accumulate it to fill it. Otherwise you're evil. So by the time it's actually full, you're eating off like paper plates and like with your hands, candlelight.

Yeah. Because you've waiting to fill the dishwasher before I put it on. I can't, I just hate it. Yeah. Anyway, what are we talking about? Oh yeah. What's in your pocket? Anyway, so you were like filling out the, the washing machine.

You were, Oh my jaws. Poke money. Right. Yeah. Yeah. That, I also had to help my, sorry. Podcast.

Right. Um, we also had to go and help my dad when he would get home from work in offloading the trailer. Cause dad would have like all of his like mowers and all the different like gardening equipment and we would run out and help, uh, put everything away in case it rained overnight. So nothing would rust. Um, also he didn't need them every day. So we wouldn't drive them around every day. Good to know. So we would, I think that's quite important. You wanted to know what my chores were. I want to know how much you got.

$5 a week. God, you were getting absolutely jipped. I know. Yeah. And if we missed once, that was it for the week. What? And that didn't mean you could just like not do the chores. It's like, if you had to be asked to take the recycling out because it was full, you've

failed for the week. And you owed. You were, if you had to get asked. Yeah. If you had to be reminded. Yes. Cause she's like, well, that's the reminder cost. Well the remind, if you get reminded, you haven't done the job.

And what I would always say is like, I know, I just haven't gotten there yet. That's not how it works. And I fear that I've taken that into the rest of my life. But anyway, I think that that is you're very like, you're still doing the chores to this day. Yeah. And you're not getting $5. No, no. I mean, it sounds like they did a good job on you. Did it work on your brother? Well, kind of.

I feel like the tools were more for me. I think I had more interest in, I feel like I had more interest in like, as, has continued in like spending money on stupid things, like video games and objects. Yes. Whereas my brother was probably just like, I don't know, studying. To become a surgeon. Good. He found that, yeah, he was like, five bucks, honey, I'm going to be making at least 10

times that amount. Then I can't remember if I've told this. I think I have, but then my chores evolved to then doing chores for my brother so that I was allowed to use his laptop on the weekend because he had this like good laptop that I downloaded all like the game emulators on. Why did he have a laptop? Well, cause he bought it cause he was trying to impress our uncle. That's the money I took away from it.

He paid for this nice laptop? He saved up and bought it. Doing what chores honey? Well, he like my brother would, he like, he would set up and sell plants at a market, like at the like, Rye, like little community market. And he was all like, and then he was working, like I had a job since 14 and nine months, but he like had a job, but he like actually would do shifts and go in actually do it like five days a week.

What were you doing? Like, you know, two days a week for three hours each. And take a funny joke. Yeah. It's like, I also have doing? Like, you know, two days a week for three hours each. And like a funny joke. Yeah. It's like, I also have a job, but you know, not really. Yeah. So he like was confusing situations with straight men that you knew to attend to. From the age of 14 until tonight.

We had a lot of kinesiology appointments. So there's a lot going on. Pocket money, that's something good in your pocket. Not good. Bit of pocket money? What about a Swiss Army knife? Oh, that's cool. Love them.

Where are they? Or a compass? No. You can get that on a Swiss Army knife. Well, that's it. You could get it all on a Swiss Army knife. Get it on there, like a little... Like a fold out piece.

Or a fold out one, yeah. Oh, yeah, it would be like get it all on a Swiss Army. Get it on there? Like a little... Like a fold out piece. Or a fold out one, yeah. Oh yeah, it would be like in the hilt sometimes. Yeah. You talking about, I'm talking about like North West, South East. Yeah. Not like a protractor thing. Like yay big, the size of a five-ton piece. Yeah, a little tiny one.

That's so cute. Yeah. We should go to Aussie Disposals after this. Well, we went to a knife store in Amsterdam and I was like, We should go to Aussie disposals after this. Well, we went to a knife store in Amsterdam and I was like, we've been in actual drug shops and this has been the most ridiculous thing that we've done. Because the knife shop was filled with straight men looking at knives. That's so cool.

It was weird. I was scared. I know. I love that. I was like, oh, hunters. Yeah. Not hunters. Straight boys looking for knives. Knives.

Like bayonets to sit on their fucking. Mantle. Mantle while they sweat on me. Mm. Um. Mm. Mm. But, um, oh, god.

I just, I used to have a pocket knife when I was a child. And I loved it. I think I got one for my 10th birthday. Yeah. And it was like the biggest one that you could get at the time. Like it was very, very chunky. It had like pliers in it. Yeah.

Like a bread knife. And the little corkscrew. The amount of times I cut myself on that knife. Yeah. And I love, I love the little dip in the knife so you can get your fingernail in there to flick it out. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

You'll love that. The ridge. Yeah. Oh, I love that. Why were, cause Matt, I had the same experience, but why were adults giving children of 10 years old knives? I think it was kind of like- You wouldn't do that now.

It's just, well, I mean, I guess it's kind of like maybe, oh, you, you would do it now probably. I'm now realizing that that's when we get my nephews for Christmas. Do you think? That's like a little- That's fucking cool. It's cool. Initiation thing, you know, like it's like a little- A knife?

Well, yeah. I mean- Like a Stanley knife. I don't feel like- Box cutters were used to bring down the planes in 9-11. Oh my god. They, the weapons that have brought the largest terrorist event on American soil in history was at the hands of a box cutter and a plane, I suppose.

Don't give them a plane either. Okay. I love those. Planes. Oh, Spatami knives. Puppets. I love those. Planes. Robots. Spatami knives. Puppets. Also, I do like little torches as well that you might fit in your pocket.

I just like- LED light. Because I have a lot of shit in my purse that I carry for drag, but I, um, I just like having knickknackery. Yeah. I love bits.ery. Yeah. I love bits. Yes. Yeah.

I think that's one thing that's lasted from my teenage years as well. It's like, just little gadgets. Little things. Little bits and bobs. Yeah. They just do little things. Yeah. Little tools.

They're not really, you only use them like once every year. Yeah. Like mini, some of the things on Timo are so tempting. Like a small bead that you can look through and find a picture of your friends and loved ones. Like that's fantastic. I love that stuff. Like a little, um, torch that you can project an image of

SpongeBob out of the end of a pen. Does it have to be SpongeBob? I assume so. Anyway, things of pockets. I also just love, I didn't realize how much pocket privilege is a thing because women got pockets recently. And that was so, they've been... They've been advocating for it for a long time.

Right. The right to pocket. They've been doing for a long time. Right? The right to pockets. They've been doing marches and protests. When women enthusiastically exclaim, the pants, they have pockets. It just brings my heart so much joy. Truly, like at work, we are going through this phase of like trialing women with pockets. Are you hiring women with pockets? Kind of. Are you hiring women with pockets? Exclusively.

It's part of the assessment criteria. Like little bum bags, but also like aprons. And the feedback has been a resounding pockets. Which, yeah, it's like- I love the apron pocket, it's humbling. Cause I'm like, I sometimes forget my privilege. Most of my lower garments have pockets. And you've been fighting against your pockets for so long.

Well, true. I'd leave them empty, which feels quite disrespectful. So to the women in my life, I'll do better and I'll fill my pockets with something slim. Ultra slim gun. The other thing about the ocean is sometimes it fills it with sand, not just water. Yes. Yeah, sorry. I forgot I had to say that before.

Yeah. You need to- That's so rude. Especially when you've gotten dunked, as if that isn't humiliating enough. Then you stand up, your pockets are filled with water slowly draining, but then you realize that half of it was sand and then you're like a fucking horse with saddlebags on and then it pulls your pants down. And then the paparazzi catch you.

Why? When your hips is like. I spend a lot of time in the ocean. My dad's a surfer. You just have like very distinct Lizzie McGuire energy. Things are always just going wrong and you know, Kate's going to be there to really mock me about it. What about, um, pockets like pizza pockets, pita pockets?

Oh my God. I had my first, um, pizza robot puppet. No, what are those like pop tarts? I know that it's not pocket related. The first one of those the other week. They're kind of shit, aren't they? You have to talk about what's in the Peter Pockets. Yeah.

And the pizza pockets. It was s'mores. What is contained. Oh yeah. S'mores is the OG like... Okay, yes. But I was quite... At first, I'll be honest, I was like, why is this so thin?

Where's the filling? Yeah. But then after I indulged, I was like, you know what, that's the perfect amount. It is. Just this little sliver of the sweet delight. The sweetest thing that you've ever eaten. Yes, any more would be far too much. Yeah.

But it was quite delightful. Did you heat it lightly? Yes. In the microwave or in the toaster? It was at work, so it was in the microwave. I think microwave is the better method. Okay. Cause they will become molten.

Oh. And burned. Yeah. The second that they come in with of it. Yeah. But that was a delightful experience. Well, maybe you love that now.

I mean, who gave you it? One of the girls at work. Pulled it out of her pocket. Travis? How did that appear? I don't know. Sometimes things just show up. I don't want to question it. Hmm. Yeah. It's Jamie's birthday.

So we're all having, we're all having a little snack in the snack room. Pop tarts. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, but yes, pizza pocket. I just, I mean, I'm kind of infuriated by that. The pocketification of food annoys me cause it's like, Gameboy pocket. What do you want to disguise the food?

Are you ashamed of it? Live it out open. Like just eat Boy Pocket. What do you want to disguise the food? Are you ashamed of it? Mmm. Live it out open. Like just eat a pizza. Eat a pizza. It's all about balance. Just don't eat it every day. I don't endorse that. Eat pizza every day if you can.

You only live once. Um, but yes, Game Boy Pocket. Yeah. That's cool. Back when they used to be about pockets. You know. I like that. What about a bandana hanging out of your pocket? Your little faggot.

And what about the most famous pocket of all? The pocket monsters. Oh, Polly. Pocket monsters. Yeah. Pocket monsters, Pokemon. Yeah. That was cute.

That's cool. Yeah. They were really in a pocket. They're quite. Ash kept them on a belt. Yes. And, um... Poly pocket is great, but I wouldn't put one of those capsules in my pocket.

Absolutely not. And also, it's manufactured for young women in the 90s. They didn't have pockets. What, do you want your father to carry around your poly pockets? No. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Okay. So, three, two, one. Oh no, I'm not ready! Ah! He's just trying to, you know, really get us there. Sorry. Okay, yes. No, we can make a decision quickly.

Pocket. Yeah. I feel like, like, I feel like it's something that you don't expect to find in your pocket or like you forgot would find in your pocket or like you forgot would go in your pocket. A ring. An amulet. No, I'm thinking like paperclip, like bobby pin.

Like you find- When I went through security, I had to pull out all my pocket. Oh no, I didn't have pockets. Sorry, this story isn't relevant. No I just walked through the mental detective in full drag. Had my first, had my first airport drag experience, which was kind of everything I wanted it to be a more, because it was like, there's something so fab about being there in full drag.

Like not face, wig, cincher, outfit, heels, tights, walking through security. Hmm. Cinsher. Yup. Outfit. Yup. Heels. Yes. Tights. Walking through security. Hmm. Get through. And then the guy was like, I beeped when I walked through the metal detector. Yeah. And he was like, what was that? And I'm like, it's my Cinsher.

He was like, what's a Cinsher? And I was like, it's this. And I like grabbed his hand and put it on my waist and was like, it's the metal rods that are keeping my waist snatched. Yeah. And he was like, Oh, well, we're going to have to just do a bomb residue on you. And like, I have to do all this shit. And he's like, do you mind if I touch you? And I was like, no, no, no. So it was very funny. And everyone was watching and they made me take off my shoes and it was very fun. That's great. I loved it. It was being the and they made me take off my shoes and it was very fun. That's great.

I loved it. It was being the center of attention. We did do that gig at an airport once. That was a lot. Yeah. You know where people don't want to be stopped by a drag queen? The fucking airport. Yeah.

I just want to leave there. Truly. Yeah. Anyway, anyway, pocket pocket. They are truly. Yeah. Anyway. Anyway. Pocket. Pocket. Pocket. Is pocket a good kid's name? Kind of.

Pocket. I thought it's cool. Matt? Pock? I don't think I would never name my child pocket. Oh, I'm sorry. Is that too far out of the realms of possibility? I just don't think it's very...

Pocket. Pocket. Pocket. English accent's better. Pocket. Where's he going, Pocket? I'll come to dinner, Pocket. Yeah. You've not taken the bins out, Pocket.

No fife cents for you. Wait, do you have a pop-tart, Pocket? Yeah. Okay. Um... I think the best thing personally is the keys to my house, but... Keys to your house? No. That house is going to be rising up one foot in the air. Yeah, the house is gone.

That's a death trap. What about a chapstick? Just a good old little chapstick. Birds Bees or Chapstick Brand? Birds Bees. Oh, do you know what I tried recently? I'm a paw paw. They're like paw paw, yeah.

The high smile. Hair smile. The purple one? or ChapStick brand. That's beans. Oh, do you know what I tried recently? I'm a paw paw. They're like paw paw. Yeah. The high smile. Hair smile. The purple one? I got the cherry one.

Oh. You know the high smile, everyone? What's that? Yeah, they know. They know it's the toothpaste that has stupid flavors. And the worst advertising known. Yeah. Oh, I thought that was his smile.

Yeah. Well, I do see it. I go, when you've seen his smile, you know, it's the his smile. Anyway, anyway, for those of you, it's on special at Woolies right now. So it's like six bucks, which is kind of like a steal. And, um, I got the cherry flavor and I got the ice tea, peach iced tea flavor. Yeah. But, um, I'm still kind of like warming up to the idea. It seems crazy, but the packaging is so chic. It looks like an old impulse body spray bottle.

It does. And it pumps onto your- Have you seen the ads on Instagram for it? Yes. That's why I bought it. No, I saw them in Safeway the other day and I was like, I want to try the purple one so bad, but I cannot give them my money. The ads are horrendous. You need to just go. I can't.

Also, we're going to find out in like five years that they have like lead in the most. Absolutely. And then he'll be like... Whitening by burning off 20 layers each brush or whatever. Yeah. whitening by burning off 20 layers each brush or whatever. Yeah. Just quickly, like you saying the misreading, the word reminded me, but in Agatha, in like one of the episodes, there's this really funny bit where...

Are you talking about Agatha All Along? Agatha All Along, the Disney Plus Marvel series about Agatha Harkness, which has been fabulous. It's so good. And just like fun witchy show. It's really fun. Anyway, there's this one character called Mrs. Hart. And at one point they're trying to communicate with her through a Ouija board.

And so it's spelling like, who is this? And then it's like M-R-S-H-A-R-T. And when I was watching it, I was, I uniquely, and I thought at the time was like Mr. Schott. But then I saw the internet thought the same thing. And anyway, the whole internet blew up with Mr. Schott, but it's Mrs. Hart. Are you there? Mr. Schart. I don't know what girls in pockets anymore. I think, um, here's my proposal. Women with pockets.

The women in the bunker get pockets. No one else does. Okay. All the women of Reggie's pockets. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Good. That was good. Mr. Shar pockets. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Oh, good. That was good.

Mr. Sharp. Yeah. His smile. Okay. We'll be back. Ciao. Welcome back. Hello listener.

Listener. Now I promise that we're not going to talk about Lord of the Rings forever. Oh no. However, the final topic for discussion today is a listener suggestion of which Kate Blanchett goes into the bunker. Which Kate? So, very quickly, because we've talked about it a whole lot, yes, her collateral performance is impeccable. Yes, it's incredible. Everything about it, amazing. Yes, I've seen the behind the scenes where they hold up a fucking

chandelier so that there's a glisten in her eyes that none of the other characters have. Yes. Okay? Yes, all gay people pour from a carafe like that because of her. Correct. That's true. But let's move on. Well, listen, I assume that's going to be like your main pick.

No. Wow. No. So it's not Gledrill. No, and it's not Gledrill. No, and it's not Hela either. Oh, well, as if it was going to be Hela. I know, that would be atrocious. Um, from Thor Ragnarok or whatever.

Yeah. Um, no, my pick for which Kate goes in is where she wore that fucking Romance was Born, um, crochet dress. Crochet. The original Gabrielle Labucci. Yes. I fucking loved it. That is incredible. It's so cool.

Also, it was at Fed Square, which is so, like, Australian level, like, where else do you go, you know? And that's so sad. Yeah. I like that a lot. Totally. Yeah. There's no, there a lot. Totally. Yeah. There's no up in Australian celebrity.

Uh-uh. It's like, oh, you're at Acme? Yeah. I guess that's our grandest place. You'd be on the steps of the treasury building. Oh my God. Or the Opera House. Yeah.

I would argue that the one that would trump all of those, of course, would be Australia Zoo. But, you know, no one wants to go to Queensland. Oh, okay. I would posit, for recent memory, Lydia Tarr. We love Lydia Tarr. I love a now- and now canceled lesbian conductor who does video game conventions. Um, I like, Oh, I do not like how much I was meant to like Kate in oceans eight. I didn't see a small film that I had to turn off.

Um, Ooh, Carol. Like lesbian it's, Oh, she played a little like a lot of lesbians. Lesbian woman in 1950s America in the snow hitting on a woman who works at a department store, but she kind of mid she's lesbian. Um, I've just remembered her recent in like, Instagram posts of her, like, on a tractor on her fucking property. Mm. That's good. Well, I do love Kate every time we're reminded that she and her husband both are the creative directors of the Royal, Royal Shakespeare Company of Australia. And it's actually very exciting.

Oh, I love it. Um, Cinderella, Cinderella press tour, Kate Blanchard, when she said the gaze. Yeah. Oh, the gaze. Yes. Oh, I thought you meant the, um, the Disney gaze. Yes. Yes.

Um, I like that blue Jasmine, unfortunate mention of Woody Allen, but oh my God. Have you seen blue Jasmine? No. You I'm sorry. No one else needs to watch this, but Zelda, God, have you seen blue Jasmine? No. I'm sorry. No one else needs to watch this, but Zelda, you do need to watch this. Blue Jasmine. Uh, fucking just Cate Blanchett in that plays this like wealthy, wealthy

aristocratic, not aristocratic, wealthy, wealthy, um, New York woman who has to move back in with her, um, sister in the wake of a divorce. And she's gone from being like really wealthy to having no money at all. Cause she's been cut out and, um, it's just like watching her try to like, live her life. And she's like crazy. That's amazing. It's incredible. What's this manifesto? That looks good.

Manifesto, we choose to play it Ac me actually, where she played like five different characters. That's amazing. To show her full range. I want to see that. Obviously Elizabeth. I've never seen Elizabeth because I'm not that kind of boy. I'm not the like period. You hate yourself.

I just don't like that. Yeah. Don't look up. Don't look up. Don't look up. Kate, don't like that. Yeah. Don't look up. Don't look up. Don't look up. Kate, don't look down. Do you know what? And we watched this recently. Talented Mr. Ripley, Kate Blanchett. Oh, yeah. Oh, Barbie. So nice to meet you. Oh, why don't we go in for a brief champagne? Yeah. That was a great character. Love Kate being like kind of obnoxious and pretty.

Yeah. And also just like a bit oblivious. What about her in that film that we didn't see? Borderlands. Oh, that's funny. That made me say, oh, you know what Kate I love the best? The Kate that is like, and I don't know, if you have seen this film, then you're the film bandits with Billy Bob Thornton and Bruce Willis and, um, Cape Bunchhead. And she plays this

like dissatisfied housewife who begins the film. She enters the film by doing a total eclipse of the heart. And she's like singing it in her house while she's cooking. And then she's like running around the house dancing. And then she like runs out into the street cause she's so depressed. Cause their husband says that he's not going to make it home for dinner. Cause he's having an affair with her. And then she runs out into the street and she, a guy tries to steal her car. Who's like a bandit on the run.

And he's like, get out of the car. And she's like, I'm not getting out of this car. And then she like goes on the run with these bandits because she just refuses to leave. And the whole movie is just like them both falling in love with her and her being on the run. That's amazing. It's incredible.

And she's so good. Um, that, and then also her in Hannah, the, um. Oh yeah. That's one of my favorite movies. I love Hannah and no one her in Hannah. The, um. Oh yeah. That's one of my favorite movies. I love Hannah and no one has seen it. It's the Joe Wright film with Saoirse Ronan who plays an assassin. She's like a little girl brought up in the forest with her dad, who was a spy assassin. Yeah.

And then the CIA or. Yeah. Trying to track her down. Track her dad down and track her down because they've like altered her chemistry or something to make her a super little super assassin. And it's so good. And the whole thing is kind of told like a whimsical fairy tale meets real life. And it's, ugh, and Cate Blanchett's character in that is this woman who likes

to practice hardcore dentistry on herself. Like she has like all these like picks at her mirror that she uses to go in and pull out any plaque. And then there's like just this whole scene about her putting on her perfect green Manolo Blahnik shoe. And it's so incredible. Like the film is just like, ugh. And she has this like, really like, we need to take you in, Hannah. Yeah, she's really like trying to be motherly, but she's actually a psycho. It's kind of like your character, Lazy. Yeah, well, I mean, Cate Blanchett's DNA is everything.

Oh, that runs through your veins. I would love to be. I think I would love to see Cate Blanchett and January Jones as lipstick lesbians together in something. Oh, we can organize that. I could see that. Well, that's kind of what Carol is. You need to watch Rooney, like, because Rooney Mara and Cate Blanchett. Mmm.

That's so good. Mmm. Cate Blanchett was, of of course one of my snatch game options back in the day, but I couldn't ever think of anything else to say except, goff wit them. And my name is Cate Blanchett and I invented pants or like, I'm a giant woman and I invented blazers. And I couldn't figure out what was funny about Cate Blanchett, except just saying things like, I'm very tall. I mean, you've got the voice, but.

Yeah. What do you say once you're Cate Blanchett? Yeah. I said, come on up. There's a really good music video, the Massive Attack did as well. With Kate. With Kate. Yeah, you should watch it.

Because she, like, it's just her head floating in a black sort of space, just her head, nothing, you can't see anything else. And then there's all lights going across it and slowly it just starts to morph and sort of turn into like a robot sort of, or CGI. And then eventually it deforms into kind of like a stone bust. Um, and it's just a beautiful song. So it's called the spoils. It's like one of my favorite songs ever. It's got all these amazing strings in it and it's got like, it's just so, yeah.

So it's a good video for it. Um, you should have a watch. Yeah, I'm looking at it now. It looks incredible. Such a simple concept, but it's like a very well done. And it goes for like six minutes as well. It's like a long song. So it's, um, it's crazy that it kind of is so, um, engaging for such a long form video.

She is such a, like, I don't know. I just love her range as far as like, she's really interested in working with interesting artists. Yes. Um, and that kind of comes across. Yeah. In everything she does. It's so, I don't know.

Yeah. Yeah. Like Taika. Well, yes, I know. But the thing about the Taika W Well, yes. I know. Yeah. But the thing about the Taika Waititi of it all is like, um, the tides had really shift, have really shifted now. Yes.

On his like, I don't know how that happened. Cause I don't, I, I actually don't know how it happened. Cause I didn't think, like I didn't see the other Thor, but I thought that his Thor was like, no, like it was no worse than any other Marvel film. The thing is like Ragnarok was really well received and great. Like I really enjoy Ragnarok. Yeah.

Um, but Love and Thunder took the parts of Ragnarok that were pushing it, like the Taika-isms and the Taika sense of humor and stuff. And the entire Love and Thunder was just that. Yeah. Which is too much. Like it's just too much. I think the- It's like if the fucking Pop-Tart was an inch of the filler.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the issue. And then it just turned. I think the issue is the Coke, to be honest. Like I think Taika's just on like too much Coke because yeah, when those things are held in balance, it's very charming. But I just don't know that it's, yeah. Because like Hunt for the Wilder people, if you haven't seen it, is such a fucking

disarming and charming film. It was like, yeah, such a nice movie to watch. Yeah. Cinema. Cause I actually didn't know it was by him when I went to watch it as well. And then I went with like a group of like 15 friends as well. It was crazy. We went with such a big group.

And like, you know, when you go with like a bunch of people to the movies, you're like, hopefully this is a good one. You know, like, cause it's like, you've made a bit of an effort. We represent $3,000 worth of investment in this day. And then it was like, everyone was just like, came out of that movie, just like. Feel good. Yeah. Just laughing and like full of endorphins.

I didn't see it. That's great. And then to the movie club. What we do in the shadows, the film is so good too. And like, I hadn't seen Eagle versus Shark, so I can't speak on that, but. And then what we do in the shadows, the film is so good too. And like, I hadn't seen Eagle versus Shark, so I can't speak on that, but. That one was good. It was a bit more like indie vibes.

But, but I think that's the thing. It's just like the Jojo Rabbit was so like such a misfire. And then, yeah, it just feels like things haven't quite figured themselves out since he became like an overnight sensation. But I'm like, I don't think anything he's done like has warranted the kind of backlash that he's gotten. Like he's not like, and you know what people fucking hate divorce. Like we have like ever since he divorced his wife and then got with um Rita, Rita Ora, like people like, how dare you get a divorce?

And I'm like, what the fuck kind of 1950s as bullshit. You guys are obsessed with people. Like with fucking SpongeBob. I know we've talked about this before, but people are like, he got a divorce and he's just had a child and you're like, yeah, people get divorced, hon. Yeah. It happens. Yeah.

And it happens. Rather they stay together miserable. You actually need to stay together forever. Yeah. And it happens. Would you rather they stayed together miserable? You actually need to stay together forever. Yeah, like that Jennifer Lopez song, Stay Together. Forever. Now. Yeah, people are fucking twisted. It's just like, take your weird Catholic bullshitty hangups around people staying in relationships forever because you deem it to be correct and throw it in the trash.

Yeah. Like there's obviously the sad bullshit of him like going away to Hollywood, breaking up with his like age appropriate, like age parable wife. Wow. Yeah. And then getting with a much younger woman and doing a shit ton of coke. Will you say age inappropriate? Yeah.

You would. Yeah. I would. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, I would say dating in Rita Ora is always inappropriate. Well, that's more the issue, yes.

Only because I want her to stay free, like she was in The Descendants 3. Um, Red for Red's life. What was that called? Red? Red, White and Magic. It's still going. Means I'll watch all of The Descendants 3, the film about the relatives of villains from Disney films. I hate that so much. And you better believe Rita Ora made a cameo slash main role.

She was in it far too much. Like she was in that movie. And I know she is English, but it still sounded like she was putting on a British accent. It was incredible. One other point on the Kate MCU of it all is that like, she had a really fun time doing Ragnarok. I think that's really cute. Her character was actually great. Like it was kind of hot seeing her in this like skin tight, like superhero

outfit kind of thing. Like she's kind of just like down for something that she's interested in. Well, it actually reminds me, it's very Shakespearean. Oh my God. But then I thought, because this is, there's a broader conversation here about the issue of the MCU not understanding part of what makes the comics great in that the hero characters are fabulous,

but so are the villain characters. Because the superhero movie generally, in that the hero characters are fabulous, but so are the villain characters. Because the superhero movie generally, like is all about the heroes defeating the villains, right? That's fine, but like when you constantly kill off the cast of characters because they're villains and the heroes have to win, you're denying yourself all this opportunity

to explore the villains. Like often just as interesting, if not more interesting than the heroes. Anyway. That's why Infinity War and all that stuff was so successful, is because we'd gotten to know Thanos and his perspective and his motives. What do you think? All that stuff. And then they kill them off.

So anyway. Well, I feel like there was a multiversal madness. But sadly, that same fucking issue happened and then Kate was done. However, season two of Marvel's What If on Disney Plus came out and she was in like half of the season and she came back to voice actor, like voice act all of the animated series every time hella popped up. And it's so fun. That Disney contract must be iron clad.

But well, I don't know that it is because like they don't all do it. So like, earlier people or it's a mix. Like Liam Hemsworth always comes back and does it. What else is he doing? Well, that's very that, But like Robert isn't doing it. Like ScarJo isn't doing it. That's because they hate her now. Because of, you know, that story.

Yeah. I love Scarlett Johansson. Yeah. But yeah, anyway, she came back and did all this voice acting for stupid what if, which was terrible. But like so fun. And they got to play with Heller and get her to do different stuff, which was really cartoon form.

Yes. Am I. Yeah. So good. My, my, my. Yeah. She also had an Australian accent in that. Sure.

She got to do her original accent in, in Thor. I, yeah, I guess. And in Lord of the Rings as well. Did she have an Australian accent? Well, what does she say at the start of Lord of the Rings? Oh, things are about to change. Get ready.

I feel it in the water. Oh yeah. I feel the earth move. That's what Caledriol opened it with. Yes. Um, would have been a bigger film as she had. Tyker would love that. Tyker would have loved that.

Anyway, um, which Kate? I, my vote is for Cate Blanchett doing Total Eclipse of the Heart in the start of bandits at Reggie's. Oh. While she cooks. Are there two bandits there? No. Oh.

Cause they're not in the film yet. Oh. She's in an unhappy marriage at that point. Right. Okay. Well that's very Reggie's coded. Before she gets her red dye job I think. Maybe she has, no she has red hair the whole film.

Oh my god the wig is so good. Kate with red hair. Unstoppable. I saw the trailer for Borderlands. I know. If she was a woman trying to escape an unhappy marriage in Borderlands, maybe I'd watch, but it doesn't seem like that's part of the film. We don't know that it is.

How is that film not done well? I don't know. Like, do people not want that? I'm not sure. I don't know what people want. I thought people wanted potatoes. Like if it was up to me, I don't think I could make Hollywood,

like I don't think I could decide. Okay, so what about this? One of my favorite podcasts, Scary Things to Tell on the Pod, do this where they talk about a serious score. Oh my God. A scary story. And then at the end of the episode, they cast the movie version. So in the 2026 release of Mrs. Slay Tato, who is playing Mrs. Slay Tato? We'll get to that next.

Who was playing Mrs. Le Tato? You know who I saw recently that could do it? I mean, she could do it at any point in her career. Mrs. Le Tato would do so well if she was played by Kathy Bates. Oh, God, absolutely. Because she was just in Matlock. I saw a trailer for Matlock on CBS, the remake. Yeah.

And oh, my God, Kathy Bates is so good. Put Kathy Bates in more things. Apparently she's retiring after Matlock. Oh. But Matlock. But, um, oh God, she's good. I like that. I don't understand what Matlock is, but.

It's a show. Yeah. Is it like a cop show or something? Yeah. She's like a, well, it was a man in Yeah. Is it like a cop show or something? Yeah. She's like a, well, it was a man in the original, but... But what about Inspector X? The dog.

The dog. The German Shepherd. That is so good. Can we put Inspector X in the bunker? Which dog? Yeah. Have we done which dog? No.

Okay. We'll do that next week. We'll put a pin in that. Yeah. Which pin in that? Yeah. Because there are some dogs. We've got the Seeing Eye Dog statue. We've got Barbara Streisand's cloned dogs. Yeah. Which pin in that? Yeah. Cause there are some dogs we've got seeing iDog statue. We've got Barbra Streisand's clone dogs. Yeah.

We do have a lot of dogs. There's that random dog from that gay guy at the live show. Oh yeah. We've already got that gay guy's show. Yeah. Gay guy's show. That inspector Rex dog anyway. I don't know.

Oh, I used to fucking love that show growing up. I would watch it. You would. Yeah. Between don't know. Oh, I used to fucking love that show growing up. I would watch it. You would. Between chores. Yeah. Which TV actor dog goes in? No, we've already done it.

We did Celebrity. Yeah. You never, if you loved him so much. Well, I wasn't, oh true. He is in the bunk already, but he's being fed to the meg. I hate our stupid law, our rich law. I'm sorry to everyone, our rich law. I'm sorry to everyone who's new here.

Okay. The thing, the cape that is going in is bandits cape. Yeah. I'll have to see it to believe it. Okay. Yeah. But that's fine. Can she be wearing the- Yes, in the crochet gown.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. Then also today in the bunker, we have Lazy's good eye. On a pedestal. Yes. Yeah. Okay. Then also today in the bunker, we have lazy's good eye. On a pedestal. Yes. On the... Watching everything.

Tower of... Who needs a security system? What's that tower called? You tell me. I'll look it up. Um, and then we- Wait, is that where Sauron is living? No, Sauron doesn't really have a body at that point.

Yeah. He lives up there. He's got a shower. So wait. Yeah. Well, that's why I'm like, I don't know. He's got a dining table for guests. So he doesn't exist. He doesn't have like a physical form. He's just a big flaming mess.

That's why his minions are out there doing his bidding, because he doesn't exist, because he was defeated. He's just a big old eye. If he's defeated, then be defeated. Why has he suddenly got all this power? Well, because the ring still exists. That's why the ring should have been thrown into the... cast it into the fire. So the ring is the battery.

Though, yeah, the ring is like Sauron's essence is in that fucking ring, which is why Isildur should have thrown it into the mountain, but he didn't. But it actually doesn't seem to have much power. He wasn't doing anything good with it. Also then, so how does he produce the flaming eye? Well, that's like a manifestation of... How is he manifesting in... why doesn't he manifest near Frodo? Well, because that's... there's limits. The power is with the ring. You'd assumed that it would be strongest near the ring.

Now when he wields it, he has the most power. Yeah, but then how one else can really use the power in the ring. He's lost his power. He was defeated, but he wasn't eliminated. What's fueling the eye fire? Sarah. Whatever is left of him. Yeah, the essence of the white specifically in that location. Because that was his center of power. That's where of him. Yeah. The essence of. Why specifically in that location?

Because that was his center of power. That's where he lives. Yeah. What's the energy source? What magic is doing it? His magic. Well, if he needs the ring so bad, how does he have enough power to fuel a giant tower with an eye? Okay.

You know what I mean? It just seems weird. Yeah. You can command horde of orcs? You don't need a body, honey. You don't need to do anything else. What are you obsessed with having a body? Well, I don't know if those orcs are whores.

I know one queen that would do- Yeah. No, I just don't understand. I'm like, it seems like you have everything you ever needed. Without the hassle of a physical body that could be... Who can kill you now? You're a flame. Like, I'm just like, I'm sorry, but it seems like you're downgrading by getting back.

That was when you died last time, if you recall. He's not content, like just sitting on top of an eye. He is ruling. He's... No, not the whole of Middle Earth. He wants to rule the whole of Middle Earth. The whole? I didn't see that one.

Anyway, let's not get into the specifics of Lord of the Rings. When you don't really... What? No. When I don't really what, man? You don't really know what you're talking about. Just doing a bit, everyone. I'm not doing a bit. I need to know. I also don't care.

That's right. That's why we're so frustrating arguing. But anyway, we have... Arguing? I'm asking for information. Good eye on that tower, which I'll look up the names. Yeah, one day we'll have a real fan who'll know the name of the fucking tower where Sauron lives. And we also have... What's from the pocket? Darling, the pocket. Women's pockets.

Oh, women's pockets. Women get pockets. Yeah, great. Jesus Christ. Well, I've been Mr. Sauron. Baradour. Baradour. Well, I've been Mr. Shaz. Baradur. Baradur. That's the name of the tower. I need to leave now and gouge out both of my eyes and ears. This has been Death to Everyone.

That's too lame, you're too old. The Tower of Angmar is the one I was thinking of. Oh, Angmar. That's the other one. Yes, who's in that one? That's the one where the Witch King lives. Of course. And I think that they're all gay together.

Are they, do they have bodies or what? Yes. Some of them do. Kind of. Some of them do. Is the battle a horde or? That is actually like, I obviously did that as a joke. I obviously did.

One of the things I fucking hate in Rings of Power Oh my god. is that they'll be like, um, oh yes, won't you please go and fetch me a glass of water from the well in like Eredjul. You want them to pronounce, they will be like, water in Eredjul. Yes! It's like, it is-

I just choose the words. Take that. Okay. Like is... I just choose the words. Take that. Okay. Like, which I just hate. It's like people in the real world who are like... Could you guys back up? We need to go. Hey, so can I get like an iced latte and also grab a croissant?

That is what is happening in Rings of Power and it makes me want to fucking kill myself. Thanks for listening everyone. Goodbye. Goodbye. Death at Rome was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our favorite song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. And if you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathdayofrompot.gmail.com. Oh, and would you support us, please, at patreon.com slash death to everyone. Goodbye forever.