Death To Everyone - Death To... Gardening Tools, Nail Finish & Punctuation Marks

Episode Date: June 16, 2025

!!!Hallooooo its us, your celestial goddesses. This week Zelda has a terrible accident with a gardening tool, we talk about our ideal nail polish finishes and also; Punctuation. Marks...?!Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo So we meet you Welcome back. How are you? How are you? Tell us about your day, week and year. I think you're calling them week. Tell us about your day, week. Week. Are we going to complain about things a bit more? Oh, we don't do that here. No.

No. I have gripes, but I don't have complaints. There's a difference. Seedless gripes. There's a difference. Seedless Grapes. That's hilarious. If you were a stand-up comedian, the name of your third friend's show after being winning the Comedy Award and the Edinburgh Ready Award would be called Seedless Grapes.

And it would be you dressed up as a giant grape. Yeah. And the after show, Sour Grapes. Oh, well. Maybe you're gonna make a million dollars. My name's Elder Moon. I'm Lazy Susan. This is Death to Everyone, our weekly podcast where we discuss a range of fabulous topics

and the set up, if you're new here, welcome. The set up is we are transmitting to you from the celestial void as we oversee what has gone down on planet Earth and we'll cast our judgment upon it. So we have a doomsday bunker where we're describing the setup of the podcast. Funny? I just think the way you're explaining it now makes it sound like you're someone that I found wandering the side of a highway speaking to themselves. We have a new say Bunga and we are transmitting to you from the Celestial Void. And of course in that Bunga we have put a series of fabulous things, the best of the

best from the selective topics. And today we'll add three more. Every week we do add three more. Sometimes we kick shit out. Well yeah, except for twice a year when we do a stock take. Yeah. Gosh, and we're almost at our hundredth episode. We are.

If you're new here and you want to catch up, get ready because you have over 200 hours of listening ahead of you. Yeah, I reckon... What do you think? Like 250 hours? Well, some... Yeah, we have not crested... We've not crested three hour episodes, but we have been creeping up ever, ever more. Ever so slightly. And some people, a vocal few, have said they love it, and I assume other people, we just never hear from again.

But also, you know, we put all our meaty shit... Eww. We put all our meaty shit at the end of the episode. So stick around. Do we? I'm lying. Listen. I feel like the...

What? It tapers off. Do you think it tapers off? It tapers off? I think we usually end quite strong. Yeah, because by the end of it, we're so silly. As opposed to the start. Matt?

What? Well, that other voice you're hearing is the voice of our producer and space car driver, because we have a space car for driving around the celestial void. Obviously. And I gotta do something. And that's Matt Shears. Hello. Hello. Obviously. Um, and I gotta do something. And that's matches.

Hello. Hello. Hello. What's happening? What's happening? Well, LA is happening. LA. Have you been seeing this?

No. Sending the police in. They, uh, Trump, have you heard of him? Yes. Trump has just allowed or signed off on sending the National Guard into Los Angeles, including tanks and what is it? Apache helicopters? What?

Military grade helicopters to quell what they are calling a dangerous protest, which is really, there were ICE raids, so the Department of Immigration, that were going and busting in on like people to take them back, quote unquote, to where they're from. But it would be like people, like one of the examples that I heard was this woman who was at her kid's graduation,

her kid who's an American citizen and them, who was not, but have lived in America for the last 30 years. Yeah. And they bust in and take this poor person away. Wow. Yeah. So people, protesters formed to try and block the ICE raids from taking place. Yeah.

And were successful at first because there was more people than there were ICE, you know. Agents. Agents. Agents of ICE. Trump was like, of course, well, we need to now send in military strength. And so I think they sent in 2000 troops into LA and there was the most recent thing that we saw today, which will be old news by the time you're hearing it. Was that a Channel 9 news correspondent from Australia was reporting on it in the

streets and this footage of her reporting on it, just this young woman. And she is like, oh yeah, this happened to her. And then as the camera pans over, you see one of these troops turn, point his gun at her, and shoot her with a rubber bullet. What? Yeah. Obscene. Apparently these troops are targeting members of the press.

Like through the little target on the rifle. Yes, literally. What the hell? Is that not fucking insane? I mean, everything that you've said so far is insane. Yeah. Not just on this topic, but generally. Um.

It's even in the darkest of times. You always find the light there, Zelda. Oh my God. Um, I feel like all of my, uh, America this week has just been the Elon of it all. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Which has been like slightly more of a delight to witness. Yeah. That's fucked.

That's crazy. Wow. It's crazy. But like expected. Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. Unfortunately. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

It'll be interesting to see what happens after that. Yeah. How long does the National Guard stay deployed? I don't know. Until the threat is gone. Yeah. I think that's it. But it's like, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. Geez. I don't think it's like, has LA Wow. Yeah. Geez. I don't think it's like, has LA not been through enough in the last 12 months? You just fucking calm your farm. Yeah.

Before you start like, yeah, converting the streets to rubble. Tear gassing people. Tear gassing, it's so insane. And did they, like have they done a sweep elsewhere or are they just starting with LA? I don't know, yeah. Does LA have a higher population of? It does have a, like, have they done a sweep elsewhere or are they just starting with LA? I don't know. Yeah.

Does LA have a higher population? It does have a, like, I think it has a larger, like, it has a minority white population. Yeah. Okay. Which I assume, I mean, that combined with the fact that I think Trump really hates California because it's such a kind of liberal stronghold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. and a very wealthy part of America that has the ability to kind of like stand up to the government in a more meaningful way.

But the, yeah, I feel like it's all like, you know, even when he was talking about putting tariffs on Hollywood or American productions that shoot overseas it was like he's it seems to be continually trying to target California. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Nightmare.

God. So crazy. And then yeah the Elon stuff. Yeah. Has been very curious to behold. I like went onto Trump's Twitter account yesterday or the day before. So just like, cause you, every time I've maybe ever seen

a image of a tweet of Trump's, I'm like, oh, you're like, how could it be real? Like they're all fake. Like, no, like there is just no way that it could actually be what was published by that account. Yeah. Um, cause it's like the easiest thing to fake, just type it out and put it on a white background or whatever.

And yet, and arguably I suppose you could say the same for Scher's tweets, but both I do believe. No one can fake shares' particular cadence and dyslexic spellings. But yeah, it turns out both seem to be quite true. Yeah, and that Twitter stuff is not even the whole of it, because most of it's on Truth Social. Oh my God. Sorry. He's bespoke social media.

Oh, it's just wild. Yeah, little public feud, airing of secrets. Yes. I was also just listening. I think it was Today Explained talking about the investigation into Elon Musk's drug addictions and how dependent he is on ketamine. And they were like, he's now at a point where he's shitting himself just in public because he's that high on ketamine all the time. And if you're taking ketamine a lot, a lot, it can cause incontinence. Wow.

Is that, is he actually? Shitting himself. I don't know. Aren't like addicted to ketamine. Well, the, it was pretty compelling that their evidence, they basically had like contacted a bunch of people that had worked for him and then he had spoken about having a prescription for ketamine to manage his anxiety, which if I was him, I'd be anxious. But also, yeah, when his, do you remember,

when his trans child was like eating beef with Elon. Yes. And they were like, you old ketamine addict piece of shit. Yes. And I thought like, I was like, that's the nail in the coffin for me. That feels like a quite specific little like thing to say. Yes. But I don't know.

Who knows? Allegedly. Sorry, Elon. Yeah. Elon, we know you listen. Yeah Imagine if Elon listen, I don't even know what I'd do with the information Yeah, would we change how we talk about things? I don't know if we knew we had like a main line to Elon. Yeah Ilaria, I wonder who our most influential listener is Um the listener with the most power.

Yeah. Oh. Right in. Yeah, right in. If you think you have the most power of any of our listeners. Yeah, right in. We'll be judged. We'll judge that.

We'll do a S to F tier ranking of you and your said powers. Yeah. Yeah. Actually, please. That would actually be so funny. I want to know. Yeah. Okay. So, DivaTronic Diva, you've been gracing the stages of Melbourne.

Oh, stop it. Yeah. Won't you tell us about it, please? So Melbourne's oft-maligned arts festival that is a combination of the Melbourne Arts Festival and White Night, is called Rising. If you're not from Melbourne, or even if you are from Melbourne, you might not have heard of it. But Rising is Melbourne's answer to a winter festival, because the government wants to stimulate the economy during the middle of winter,

because it's when people tend to stay home and stop spending money. And so if they can get people out and about, then that's what they want to do. And it worked very well in Tasmania with Darkmofo, which is held out of Mona, which is a very cool event where all the streets are like a little red, like a deep dark red. And it's like, you know, mulled wine everywhere and all these like spooky events, you know, like lots of crazy things happening all across town of Hobart. But I think it kind of works in Hobart because like Hobart is such a sleepy little town and you can walk most places pretty easily. You can walk most places pretty easily.

You can walk across the city. Yeah. A couple of minutes. So if you're going to do something, you can kind of see, it's like, you're in like a cozy town where the whole town has been given over to this event. Yeah. Yeah. Like a suburb.

Yeah. A better, smaller one. But in Melbourne, and it's beautiful, and you feel like you're at the end of the world. Why is everyone attacking Hobart right now? I like it. But in Melbourne, where they've gone instead for the deep blue as the colour for the event, instead of this deep red, it feels like there's just too much going on. Melbourne never really gives itself over wholly to one thing.

Because it would be like the Olympics or something, if that was to ever come. But it's not like every shop in town is like, rising, rising, rising. You know, they're like, so anyway, that's my kind of rising thing. But as part of rising, I was invited to do two things. One was to partake in this putt-putt

mini-golf celebrity tournament. And I need you to unpick all those words. But the funniest thing is that me being included in that, that, that on like that, that word is insane to me. Celebrity. Celebrity. It's so sad for Australia's celebrity culture that that is allowed to be said, but, but

very funny. And, um... Australia, just Melbourne. That's true, that's true. Yeah. And the Pop-Pop Mini-Golf was like, I think once again, trying to figure out what these like cool events are that they can use to engage the public. And I think they actually did a really good job with this because it's upstairs at the

Flinders Street station in the ballrooms. That's where the Pop-Up was? Yeah. Oh. And they have these like, and so if you've ever been upstairs there, it's kind of looks like it's an abandoned building. And it's where they used to have bowls, I guess. But they've got nine artists who are female artists to design a course each, which once

again is very cool. Because it's like, I think a lot of regular workaday Australians sometimes feel a bit alienated going into galleries or maybe feel like... Or going into pop-up. There's nothing to do. It doesn't or it doesn't have anything to do with them or maybe yeah it's hard or you wouldn't take your kids to it. Whereas this... The windmill is turning too quickly. Exactly. So I think it's kind of intelligent every time you can kind of find an interesting way to get like a regular person to start thinking about contemporary art.

I feel like in the last five to 10 years, they've really pushed that. Yeah. That sort of like immersive installation. Yeah. And that's why you can interact with the artwork more. It's less like don't touch the artwork. It's like do touch the artwork. Yeah.

Touch it as much as you can. Yeah, exactly. And it kind of involves you, involves your kids. And, um, but yeah, I think that's what Mona did so well. It broke down that a bit. And it was so irreverent and silly and kind of gave people a taste of how it could be done. Anyway, so then they've made this, and one of the courses is designed by one of my heroes, Miranda July,

who is this amazing filmmaker and author and everything. And I was like, is she going to be here? And they were like, no. And I was like, okay, well, I'll kill myself. But anyway, so... Oh, look at her fabulous curly hair. She's got gorgeous curly hair. She's curly girl.

Like blue, blue eyes. Yeah. And is just incredible. Um. American? Yeah. Hmm. I'm not going to go into it anymore.

What was the hardest course? What was the hardest hole? The hardest hole was there was one room that had been- What was the trickiest one to get into? There was one room that had been converted into a cartoon forest and everything inside was inflatable and the floor had been turned into carpeted. And you were to get rid of your golf putter and instead take a inflatable latex tail and you were to use your tail to hit a bigger golf ball into a hole.

And that was really hard and silly. I did see the footage of you struggling to do this task. Wacking a ball. Yes. Was it like a dinosaur tail? It was like a woodland creature tail. Oh yeah. If, would you be comfortable if I quote you on this moment?

Yeah. My body! That does sound like me. Something this moment. Yeah. My body. That does sound like me. Something like that. Yeah. I'm often in the kind of existential horror about my corporeal form. But then my favorite of all the things was when we had to give up our golf ball at one of the courses and they gave us a cube.

And it was a golf cube, and it was the exact kind of dimensions of a golf ball, except a cube, with the same golf ball texture, shininess, little dimples and everything. And my, oh my, how I coveted that cube. Yes, of course. And I really wanted to steal it. And so, OK, so my putt-putt mini-golf partner was Ella Hooper of Killing Heidi fame. Yes.

And Ella had been like a real like ride or die supporter from day one of Drag Race Down Under. She loves Drag Race. She's good friends with Tanah, our friend, and she loves the drag queens. And so she was like commenting and everything from like a thousand years ago. And apparently when approached to do this putt putt mini golf competition, they were like, who would you like to be partners? And before they could even finish the email, Ella Hooper had already screamed, lazy

Susan, please, which I thought was lovely. But so we're playing the putt putt mini golf. I see the cube. And then I'm there with, um, Ella's, uh, manager. And, um, she was incredible. Her name was Tammy, but her real name is Tabitha. Oh. Yeah.

And Tammy has bleach peroxide blonde hair, and she manages Ella's life. And she's like, Ella, give me the keys. I'm taking over. And she's taking over, because Ella had a purse filled with hotel room keys from when they'd been on tour. Anyway so this woman is incredible and she's just like so Ella Hooper's energy is like super like ADHD

like everywhere everywhere like and like just up and excited about everything and Tammy's just there like yeah what's going on? And at the very end of the whole day, Tammy comes over to me and she's like, Oh, lazy, I tried to steal you one of those cubes, but the bloody security guard was watching me like a hawk. Thank you, Tammy. You're really solving life problems. That is so good. So good. Um, but yeah really solving life problems. That is so good. It's so good.

Oh. But yeah, that was all really fun. Mm-hmm. And okay, but the lead-in to that was the two days before, we'd been like, oh, can, like, people have been like, oh, can you post about this? I'm like, of course, yeah, yeah. It was exciting, we're doing it for charity.

But I think every single person partaking didn't quite understand what our job was. Yeah. And then finally, I saw someone post about it who actually understood what they were talking about and they were like, go and donate to me in our heat. And you, like, we want to raise money for full stop. Um, and so like, okay. And so the, okay. And so the second that I realized that there was like a component that I completely neglected,

I was like, oh my God. I'm failing at my first job as celebrity. And to really, and then there was like a board of like ranking everyone on the donations they'd received. And I was like, and Sammy Jay and Georgie Purcell have beaten us. They're at $1,200 on their ranking. And I was like, I think I explained this later to someone as like, out of all of those people who were all quote unquote celebrities, I think I was one of the only ones that was a celebrity that came from reality competition show. Whereas like one was a bachelorette bachelor guy. One like Geraldine is

a comedian, but she won I'm a celebrity, Get her out of here. And they sure did. But I was like purely like my whole reason for being here is that I'm someone who is competitive and so I was like, now I have to win. And I think all those poor comedians were like, why are you acting like this? And so went really ham that first night, just being like donate money, please. We need the money now. And then went to Reddit and was like, donate please, your queen needs you. And to people's

credits, they did. And I was able to get us on top of the board by the next day. At which point I was at my other gig, which is Zoe Coombs Ma's rising variety show, because it's rising, and I was in the green room, back stage, and then in enters this woman, and I'm like, hello, I'm Lazy Susan, and she's like, hello, and I'm like, what's your name? And she kind of had that energy of like, you know who I am. And I was like, I don't, tell me who you are. And she was like, Claire.

And I'm like, Claire. And then I found out that her name is Claire Hooper. And then I went home that night and was like, Kierdren, who the fuck is Claire Hooper? And he was like, she's a famous Australian person. And I was like, yeah, she's from, she's also like, she's just been around. She's been on like lots of talk shows and stuff. Yeah.

And hosts great British Bake Off. I mean, great Aussie Bake Off. Really? Yeah. Does bits like that. Yeah. But because I had just pulled ahead in the rankings on the putt putt mini golf championship, I was able to now turn to Claire Hooper, who was also playing putt

putt mini golf celebrity tournament and say, well, Claire, I've noticed you have zero dollar donations on your thing. She need to step it up and absolutely hung shit on her. And she was so confused because I don't think she knew because no one did what they were expected to do. And then when I saw her the next day at the Putt-Putt Mini Golf Champion, she was like, I really freaked me out when you said that. I called Geraldine and said, we need to get money for stopping violence against...

I didn't realize this charity event was a fundraiser. And that was amazing and bizarre. And then on the Saturday when I had that, when Claire was back on at Zoe Coombs Marshal, she revealed to me that she also had watched all of Drag Race Down Under. So hot. And I was like, you sneaky little bee, you kept it so quiet.

But she was lovely and she's very funny. That's fun. Yeah. So now I do know who you are, Claire Hooper. And I'll never forget. Well, I have Alzheimer's. How was the variety spectacular? It was good. They had Mr. Oily. Mr. Oily was on. He was in a giant Zorb ball covered in oil, but without any clothes on. I see.

No clothes? No undies. Okay. But then there was also, um, like a pig man, which is a man with a pig head who was dancing around the Zorb ball, poking it joyously. And there was a man singing a song, Capo Dog. Capo Dog. And he's like, your mom's a capo dog, you're a capo dog, everyone's a capo dog, Brie Larson's

a capo dog. Brie Larson? Don't bring her into this. You're like, my mother, fine, but not Brie. Leave Brie alone. What? Yeah. It was like a fever dream. I see. But then, yeah, it got to like...

By comparison, your performance would have been rather retained. I know. I felt like I was so normal. Yeah. But I realized, because I was doing Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear, which I've now done as a legacy piece, I guess. And the only thing that makes it okay is that Tina Del Twist, who I was sharing the piece, I guess. And the only thing that makes it okay is that Tina Deltwist, who I was sharing the show with, was doing an act that she's been doing literally for 10 years. And I was like, well, I've still got another eight years left in this one. But it was so bad because I feel this

guilt every time I go out without a new show, despite the fact that, that in this instance, not a single person pretty much knows, like who knows, like it's the rising audience is different to the circuit audience is different to the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But on the first night when I went out to perform it and the song started, someone in the back row went, yes. And I'm like, I'll kill myself. Thank you for the report, but you've actually ruined my experience.

Yeah. I was like, this is new. Yeah. I've revised the bird calls featured. I've changed them. And now it's raving. Exactly. And yeah, but it was just insane the kind of like people that were there because it

was like this random week of just being with the kind of glitterati of Australian comedy, where it was like, you know, I now know Reese Nicholson and that's lovely and they're always a joy to hang out with but then it was like like Miff Warhurst and like Will Anderson and like all of like John Safran and like they were just the Isles of Cahoon and... The Mall Man there? Mall Man? Mall Man.

Oh you say John Safran like you know him. Anyway go on. I know. You're embarrassing yourself. No one. Matt do you know what Iran like you know him. Anyway, go on. You're embarrassing yourself. I know, no one. Matt, do you know what I'm talking about? No. Oh, I thought you laughed in support. I was just laughing at the word mole man.

John Safran used to have a show on SBS called John Safran's musical Jamboree, maybe? Yeah. And like there was a section in it where he would like go on a walk with someone dressed as a mole. It was like musings of the mole man. Was he dressed as the mole? No Mole man was an independent

entity Am I crazy this happened In a dream. I'm you say something I'm looking up mole man all of that to say is what a crazy time. And it was just very bizarre. And to tell that there was this guy that's a standup comedian who is also a doctor, who's also a babe.

Isn't that crazy? Yeah, but you did say. Standup comedian. Yes. He saves lives and then ruins them. Yeah, Don Safran's musical Jamboree was definitely a TV show. Okay, now I just need to confirm that there was a character called the Mole Man within it. Oh, good. I'm glad we're good getting to the bottom of it.

And you see what I mean? There was people from all around. You know what I mean? There was people from all around. When I did my work experience at Mad Men Entertainment, John Safran was there and I said to him, you're John Safran. And he said, yes. And that was the end of it. But in my mind at the time, I was like, can you tell me about the mole man? I think you'd have been more excited if I was on the bill with the Mole Man.

You think correctly, dear. And I think that you're not giving enough credit to Mr. Oilly. No, but also like I have more stories about John Saffron that I can't say on it. Oh, what did you do? Because we have a, we have a listener who has experiences with John Zeffran. Oh my God. And yeah, just like funny. Oh my God. Yeah. Like sexy? Yeah. But he's straight. Yeah, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, funny. That's fun. Yeah. I feel like- What's Will Anderson like? Well, that was the one that I actually didn't really get a lot of, like, anything.

You know what I mean? Like, was just kind of there for a second. He feels like actually famous. Yeah. You know? Like, John Safran is- John Safran isn't as famous as Will Anderson, is he? No.

Okay. Never he? No. Okay. No, but I feel like they're all like people that just like are consistently working. Music mall. Perhaps it was called the music mall. Oh my God. We lost Zelda. She's gone. Into the music mall hall.

The music mall hall. Oh, maybe that's what I should call my first album. Hahaha! I didn't know you were working on an album. Yeah! I'm a drag queen. That's part of the expectation. Anyway, sorry, dear. What were you saying?

Anyway, all of that was just funny and bizarre. To... Cause I think here's the thing. There are some days that are just normal post-Drag Race where it's like, I didn't get shit all from that. You know, not like that's actually the truth. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But some days where it's like, it just feels like that never actually happened. And that was just like rando banando.

And then there are other days where you're like, actually, this is insane, where things are just randomly happening or opportunities are coming to you and you're just suddenly there in amongst these people kind of doing this kind of fabulous gig at a theater that has a green room with a rider and sandwiches. And you like walk on stage for five minutes and get paid really well. And I'm like, oh, this is crazy. What a life to be living.

But it's like such a funny thing that this is the duality of just being like, oh yeah, that was the thing that happened and then, oh my God. Yeah, yeah, here you are with the Mole Man. Here I am with the friend of Mole Man. Yes. Do you still talk with Mole Man? Where is the music mole now? What's he musing about now?

They couldn't get the all, man. Fair. Quite elusive. Yes, Wes. Yeah. Anyway, that's my week. What about you? Yeah. Oh, that's quite good.

So between last recording and this recording, I'm going to just put a pin in my fabulous story. Don't do it. No, no, because we're going to just put a pin in my fabulous story. Don't do it. No, no, because we're going to, we'll revise it. Influencing one of the subjects for today's discussion. But what else? I've kind of had a cold. I have been at home a lot. I like I like had a couple of days off work. You took time off work.

Yeah. How unusual. Well, I was sick and like, but I feel like you've been sick before and not taken time. Having a cold is work. It's hard work. True. I don't, I, I feel like I'm always very pro Zelda taking time off work,

but I feel like you're very diligent. Yeah. But I think like I had a few days last week that I couldn't not go to work. So it was just like, I just had to be there. Yeah. And then I had a few where it was like still, of course, essential if I was going, but I was like the thought of being just when you have a bit of a head cold and you aren't, you know, like run ragged, but you are leaking.

Yeah. How else would I phrase that? Being on public transport is so horrendous because you don't want to signify to everyone that you're in the sardine can with like, by the way, I'm infecting you right now. Yes. By holding a tissue or sniffing or coughing. So you pretend to be crying violently. It's the only way to cover like, oh, I'm fine. I just have a cold. I'm actually just really upset. But yeah, instead, you just have to stand there pretending like you can't feel, you know, like clear liquids coming softly from your nostril.

Can I say that there's also that moment, I don't know if you've ever had this, but there's been maybe a handful of times where you're like in my life, my entire, across the course of my entire life, where you sneeze and like half a bucket of snot comes out into your hand. And you're like, oh my god. And you have to kind of like figure out what your next move is. Because you're like, do I have a tissue? And then if not, you just kind of slowly close your hand and like, wait until such a time as you can actually put it somewhere. Yeah.

It has the consistency of an egg yolk. Yes. So, but will hold its form as long as you don't portray it too much. Yes. You can't gap those fingers. No. Disgusting. But people that are seeing you sometimes clock what's happened.

And so they now are watching in real time as you're thinking about what to do about your handful of goo. And if it's like a long, sometimes, in one of these occasions, across the handful of times... Handful? Handful. Handful. Oh. That I've had that happen, I'd be like on a bus going through the hills in the Dananong ranges to school, at which point it would be like quite a while before I'd be at a place

where I could, and so you just kind of like, and also it takes your like hand out of action for the next sneeze. Yep. See, and this is why I decided to have a few days off work because it was like, I can't experience that public transport moment. It's just awful. So, um, what did you do with it? Did you nest? Okay. So in, okay. So this might be the most single most depressing thing I've ever said on this podcast or in my life, pretty hard, hard record to beat, but I've spent a majority of my time at home reorganizing, um, my like digital footprint. So like I've been, what?

I've been like resetting up and like properly optimizing my like iCloud account so that all my files are on iCloud so that if I get robbed again, I won't lose everything ever again because it's on the cloud. So I've been doing that with my files, but then I've been going through the archive of drag and everything. And now I'm at a point where I'm doing the same for my photos and listener. I know how interesting this is, but maybe like 10 years ago, I was like Apple photos, like that program and I'm done.

I'm no longer utilizing that. And I instead just started to store all my photos from my phone every couple months in like a file and a folder. And that's like, I'll organize it one day, but I can't have it in photos because in photos it indeed shows you, it just shows all images, but they're not all photos. Like why is the picture of Magneto on the X-Men cross next to the photo of the park that I was at this morning?

That doesn't make sense. So like I just could never reconcile how I wanted to use that program. And my answer was to just leave it behind. But now. What? What are you doing now? Well, now I'm returning back to it. But I have this archive of like years of photos,

in quotation marks, they're not all photos that I'm now filtering through. And one of the biggest mistakes I've ever made was a couple of years ago, you can have WhatsApp set to like automatically download any photos that people send to you and WhatsApp to your phone. Or you can leave it to like,

I'll choose to download that one, thank you. And a couple of years ago for work, I was like, this is so annoying. Just download everything. So it's just there. But now I just have like thousands of screenshots of things from work or photos from work. And like, I'm going through these photos and these like images of like children and bunnies and Oh, cause they've been sent by your coworkers at some point where it was relevant in the chat, but I'm like, what the fuck is this?

Who's child is this? That I have a photo of. That's so great to get out of like, so haunted. Yes. And especially because then the other thing that I'm filtering through. What other screenshots would you have? Yeah. Like these two things cannot exist next to each other.

Yeah. And also like, you don't want to get your computer taken as evidence. No, the cloud. No one's ever been hacked on the cloud. No, because I'm doing it like very just so. Um, so yeah, like all of the nudes and stuff also need to be just gone because like from the cloud. Well from wherever it's like what do I have all

these like old screenshots from like what it like what they just all have to go and like all these you got rid of all the nudes. Well no but like there's just things that I'm like why did I think that was important to screenshot? Like I've seen a dick before, like I don't need to have that one. And you got to catch them all. Well, I don't know that I do. You just keep in the top, top ones. The top sticks.

Yeah. Top sticks. But yeah. And then like seeing how many times I've had to like redownload my own nudes to my phone and then like I keep refining them to just, it's just chaos. It is funny though that like your own nudes become like,

like these are the top picks. Yeah, yeah. And they will be the top picks now until I add one and maybe take one away. Right. But this is the lighting was great here. Yes. There's this like ecosystem of your own nudes where you're like, yeah, this is the key, like five select this then I have the next five.

Best representation. Yeah. And like the best kind of like optimizing the situation. All right. Like as a relatively true verse, you're like, okay, so these are the better ones of this asset and these are the better ones of that asset. And you have to curate them to the right person. Because as previously discussed,

if you send one too many like dick pics to another top, they'll be like, you're what are you talking about? If you send one too many like dick pics to another top, they'll be like You're what are you talking about? If you send one dick pic? I mean one ass pic to a bottom. They'll be like no Thank you. Yeah, like I don't even need to know that you have one of those Yeah, right may as well be a two-dimensional sprite With a dick hanging off it But yeah, so anyway, I think there's actually, sorry, just on that quickly. I think because of my New England heritage being like translucent white, there is nothing harder in the world than trying to like kindly do nude photographs of like a very pasty white body. Why?

Because number one, like there's a reason that like bodybuilders all like tan the fuck out of themselves for definition before they go to bodybuilding shows. So it's like if you had any kind of angles or contours, they're completely blown out. You look like a photo taken on a camera and the sun. And then if you, like, you know, oftentimes you want to, like, kind of, you can either have depressingly well-lit background with, like, you know, your life happening in the background.

Or you could do in the dark with a flash, which I think even though can look a bit bizarre, it can also add a certain like, you know, Terry Richardson chic, not that Terry Richardson is chic, but you know, that kind of like the flash, you know, the glamour, where am I? Yeah. You know? And whatour, where am I? Yeah. You know? And what's got me so excited? Yeah. But the flash, like on a, like very, very white dick becomes like, look at the creature

inside of the dog. Like it lives its entire life near this volcano sucking the algae out of the dark. Like it leaves its entire life near this volcano sucking the algae out of the air. Jeremy, if you are listening, my reference that I'm pulling is that weird DVD that you had of that. Oh my God, no. Oh, he'll know what I'm talking about. That's enough. It's very the descent is what I'm trying to say. And, um, yeah, I'm just glad that I'm out of that year for now, for now, forever. I love my husband. Um, but yeah, so I've had a fabulous time, like recalibrating all my files and

finding the best way to store everything. Um, and I'm going through the process now of like literally, like I did an album yesterday that I didn't finish because it had six and a half thousand images in it. What was the album? It was just like, every time I like copy everything from my phone, I'd call it like May 2025. And if the previous one was February 2025, then there'd be three months worth or whatever. But the one I did yesterday was like maybe six months worth from like 21 to 22. And there were six and a half thousand photos that I have to go through.

I don't think you need to, I think you could just throw them away. No, because like that's why I sent that funny picture to the Beastie Girls the other day because I discovered it on the way. And actually I found all the photos from when we went to, um, that Airbnb to plan, to actually the game show. And I was like, that was so cute. So, oh, and I found this one of BG. Ty, listener.

We got booked once as the Beastie Girls to do this like comedy show thing in Footscray, maybe it was, and we had three spots and we chose to do this like comedy show thing in Footscray, maybe it was. And we had three spots and we chose to do Sex and the City 3. Like told through those three spots, kind of. It was also kind of improv and kind of sketch comedy. Anyway, we did one show that was just Benign Girl dressed as Carrie sitting with a laptop typing. And I found this photo of it.

And the fact that we did that for one of the shows, and it went for probably three minutes, and I actually found the audio file that went with it is crazy. But what a fabulous memory. I can't just delete them all. True, well thank God for people. That's why I guess they just did that Paul Rubin's documentary about Peewee Herman and Paul Rubin. Where like he'd kept all, every time he'd ever appeared

on television or in the press, he kept it and cataloged it. That's you. That's fun. Anyway, so I had a riveting few days being at home sick, organizing files on my computer. And I had a really great time. Perhaps not as glamorous as your week,

dancing with Ella Hooper or whatever. And what a time it was. No, but I think very good. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. And I also went to my quick becoming new favorite aquarium on Saturday with my friend Liv. And that was quite good.

Got some new... What? Yeah, I got some new fish and shrimp for my tank and some plants. And it was really fun. Why is everyone laughing? Well, because you're a comedian. You might be sitting down, but you could do stand up. When you stand up, we'll be there. Yeah.

When you fall over, we'll also be there. And we'll never stop laughing. But, um, yeah, I mean, I- Where do you go to free your fish? What's the new aquarium? What's the new aquarium called? Oh, okay. So it's called like nature, nature, aquarium, nature, pet and

aquariums or whatever. Why do they always have such bad names? It's's terrible. Like it's so missed. I do love amazing Amazon though. Cause I do. I am amazed. I am amazed.

Yes. Um, yeah, it's a stupid name, but a fabulous aquarium. And you know what made me feel like a crone was that we had this very enthusiastic team Like the staff at this aquarium are the friendliest that I have ever encountered and aquariums are notoriously Terrible. Yes, they're either smug or they're You're judging me. Yeah, I have sea snails and you're judging me They do. I'm just here to tell you my pH is all over the shop and you're not helping. Well, yes.

Or they're disgusting, both the staff and the establishment. Anyway, it's just like super hidden mess. And then also I feel like there's a lot of drugs in like the aquarium community because sometimes you go to the stores and they're just fucking cooked. Anyway, not at nature petting aquariums or whatever it's called. They're very, very helpful and not pushy and not judgy. They're just cute. And we had this

very enthusiastic, helpful team member who also knew that like me and my friend were like, we were in there for nearly two and a half hours because she was getting everything to like rescape one of her tanks. So we went together and then of course I had to just get a few bits. Um, but we were like spending some serious money. Oh, like you guys work on commission, right? Well, I know, I don't know if on commission, right? Well, I know. I don't know if that's, I don't think that's why he was being so overly helpful,

but I did get the inclination that he was keen to be the one to put through our sale at the end. Oh, well that's definitely a commission situation. Yeah, cause he was very like, I'll keep this to free up your hands while you're still shopping. You're like, that's mine. Okay. It's either that you think we're going to steal this shit, which it's a very large

filter box that can't be concealed or you want to like put this in your pocket so you can put us through at the end. And did he put you through? He did. And how much did you spend? Oh, I didn't go crazy. Let's spend like nearly 400 bucks. $400? Yeah. But he... At the start, I was so like, you are so annoying. So why do you keep coming up

and asking if you need any help? I'd say if I needed help. Don't tell me, I can do it myself. Yes. But by the end end he was indeed like very helpful and gave us like heaps of like free little plants each and stuff. Cause I think there was a few chaotic moments and he was quite frazzled by everything that was going on but he was also very sweet. But anyway, when we got out of the shop, Lou and I were both like,

wow, what a fantastic time this was. And I was- Tiffany and Louis Vuitton bags and your aquarium bag. Yes, yes. But I was going, like I was opening my mouth to say like, love that guy, but God, he was so annoying. But before I could live was like, that guy was so sweet. He was so helpful.

And I was like, why am I such a crone? He was helpful. Yeah I was like, why am I such a crone? He was helpful. Yeah. You know? But are you aware that, you know, at this point, if you improve, this show has to end. Because I can't be on this show with someone who's good. Right?

Who will I talk to about my petty annoyances? Yes. My small gripes and my sour grapes. Yeah. Yeah. So if you are, I have two very dear friends, Olivia. So one of them is quite confused right now and thinking, we didn't do that. And the other's thinking, I remember that.

I didn't realize that you thought that guy was annoying. Well, now you know. But to say to you, Olivia One or Olivia Two, if Olivia One is listening, yeah, I loved your kind perspective on that chaotic person because it made me think, wow, he was actually helping us, not hindering us. Well, that's, I think actually my, um, my, my partner has been quite good at like teaching me optimism about people's characters because he is so nice. Yes. And a much kinder person than I am. It's important to be balanced out sometimes. Yeah. Except on a seesaw. I want to stay low to the ground. What do you think about the ones that are like the little to dig? It's like got the digging mechanic.

I like a little playground digger. Well, why don't we bring that up on playground day? Well, I don't know. Now we have that fire fox, but I love that. How good is that? Yeah. The only thing I don't like about it is that it's so fixed. I can only dig that one spot. No, some of them can turn around.

Well, they can turn, but then I suppose I'm building a moat and that's it. Well, I think that would be good for you. Our little Zelda island. Me too, actually. All the kids would fall in your mighty moat. Never be able to reach him. And if they tried, you could hit them.

With boiling tar. Oh. Okay. Back off. Whoa. Didn't you see the moat? The boat, the moat was there for a reason. Do you think my rental, my landlord would have issue

if I started to build a moat around the property? I think you already have a moat around your property. It's called a river. Oh, true. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

Lazy, you do it this week. Well, it is my week. Oh, well, I suppose that's why I said that. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. So this week, So this week, I think there is a new skincare brand that comes out that is using a new active that is something like we take the crushed seashells of the bobo plant in the Cayman Islands or whatever the fuck. And we found that it regenerates collagen at a rate that's five to whatever the fuck. And it becomes just so successful because it is effective.

And people just look incredible, even just regular people, not just celebrities. It's one of those few skincare companies that makes good on the claim. And so much so that it becomes an active, like they release a men's line, and they start appealing to all their demographics. And it's so effective that it gets to a point

where they pretty much have 98% of the world's population using this incredible skincare. But you know what they didn't do? Long term studies. Impossible to do. It was rushed to the market. And so then 15 years after the release of the Habobu know, especially you branded skincare, people start breaking out in these very small rashes. First small, just these little red dots. And they're like, oh,

what's that? And then people start to, and then there's everyone. And they finally realize after, you know, going off dairy, going off, you know, wheat, realize that it is in fact the herbivore shell, active ingredient. And everyone starts getting kind of itchy, like late at night, when they're meant to be going to sleep. And they can feel this like tingling sensation in their skin and it's not long, maybe a week, maybe two, before these little red dots start to develop into boils, little pustules that cover the skin and they're still itchy but they're kind of tougher. You can't break them like a pimple or something like that. And they continue to grow into about the size of a marble.

And this is when they realize the breeding cycle of the hobo boashell, where it keeps its eggs, and that everyone has this small little crab growing underneath their skin. Oh my. Several million of them. And so, you know, maybe the first one that goes down is Angelina. Shit. And she's, you know, doing quite a good job with hair and makeup and a long bang of covering

her many puss jewels. And suddenly on the red carpet for, I know what you did last summer, the fifth, where she makes a small cameo as summer. Yeah. The crab first little claw pierces the hard pustule on her lower back and everyone sees on her lower back tattoo, a little claw coming out. And suddenly they can't

see Angelina for the rushing wave of crabs that emerge from her skin. And then it happens all over the world, people bursting with crabs, tiny little crabs, become a seething mass along the floor everywhere you go. Like those mango tree crabs on that island. Yeah, exactly like that. That's how it looks. And they're terrifying and they get up into everything. And they realize that this... Far too late, the scientists from College Dead and Exma realized that this is actually part of a life cycle of the crab, that this is how they ended up with the Habobo shell because it had occurred 78 million years ago and had actually been the extinction event of that time. Yes. Yeah. Wow.

A parasitic crab killed the whole world. It's under my skin! Yes, I suppose a few people would say that. Oh yeah. Cool! Crabs. Crabs! Crabs! And so I want you to imagine now, listener, the bunker door closing shut and then a seething wave of life mass and crustacea going over the door just as it closes.

And the delicate steps of those crab, dip tapping on the cast iron. Yes, which, you know, where you just have one crab, that just would be a little sound, but the rush of thousands of it becomes the sound of a thunderstorm. I like that. Yeah.

That's good. Thank you. Yeah. That's good. Thank you. Well, we'll be right back. Bye bye. Hello. Welcome back. Hello. Welcome back. Hello. So, last week, after we had recorded our podcast, I was delighted to see that the gardening

tool that I had ordered online had arrived to my house. Well, Zelda had been influenced. Yes, I'd been influenced by that thirst trap as discussed on last week's episode. That thick mustache and his apologetic approach towards Pokemon. What's his name again? Captain something. His last name is Gaston? Ah the real Gaston? Yeah what's his first name? I don't know does he have one? Impos- Who knows? Anyway the gay Gaston sorry Michael Salvador Sinatra. Sure. Oh no yeah. What? I don't know if that's real. I don't know okay but anyway I have a continuation of last week's story. So the tool had arrived and I was elated to describe

the secrets of events that led to disaster. Hot Thirst Trap on Instagram. Yes. This like musty handsome guy who talks about gardening, whatever, found him followed sure then one day a video came up where he was talking about this tool called a hori-hori which this like Japanese like digging trowel and he's like it's amazing everyone should have one like okay hot didn't think about it again

then I came up again and I was like, well, the hot guy said I should get this. So I guess that's what I'm going to do now. And I did. And I've never seen this tool in real life. So I was not fully aware of the, you know, like complete shape of it because I don't know if I bought a shovel online, I know what a shovel is and looks like when it arrives. So no surprises there. However, so I get home and I open up the package and indeed inside there's, I also bought a sickle because I thought that was funny. So I bought a sickle and this Hori Hori. Which you use to hoe?

The sickle? No, the Hori Hori. Um, you like use it to like dig holes and like cut out weeds and it's just like an all rounder kind of very- It looks like a blade. Yes, it does. It looks like, uh, like a, like a knife that you would go through the forest with. Yes, it does. So, but in his video,

he doesn't really cut anything with it. He just digs some holes. It's got like measuring on the blade. Yes. So like, you can, you know, identify how deep you need for whatever you're planting or whatever, which is helpful. But anyway, I'd never seen it in real life. So I open up the box, get out the sickle. That's great. Sure. Wait, how big is the sickle? The sickle is like a hand tool. It's not like, what are you using the sickle for? It's not like room Reaper sickle, which is sad, but you know, like it's not that. Um, I mean, the sickle, like in full transparency, it came with like a package deal

where it was like the Hori Hori by itself, or you could get it with the sickle for like maybe $20 more and save whatever. And I was like, well, a sickle is kind of funny because growing up I always played Harvest Moon and the sickle was like an integral part of that game. But my entire life up until this point, I've always been like, what the fuck is a sickle?

Like in the modern world, do people even use that? Like, cause a sickle has like two handles. It's like a full length thing that people, you know, like harvest. All right. I was like, where does a sickle become a scythe? I just don't know. So I was like for 20 bucks or whatever,

I'm just gonna get the sickle as well. But the sickle didn't, you know, attack me unlike the Horihori. So there I am, I've got the sickle out. Then the Horihori is in a sheath, which suggests that it's probably sharp because sharp things could be safer in a sheath. Um, and so then I unbutton the sheath and I pull out the Hori Hori and I slice my entire thumb open. Oh my God. Along the side.

Ouchie. And I just looked at it and so quickly it was like, what the fuck did you think was going to happen? And then I was also like, how could this happen? Like. Everything was going so well. Yeah. I had my new hori-hori and I know what that is.

It's a shovel, I can only assume. Yeah. And I was like, how has this gone so wrong so quickly? And as I was thinking that, like my hand is red. Like there is so much blood and I had treated myself to like sitting on the couch to like open it, you know, while, you know, just having a, what a treat. Yeah.

So like you allowed yourself to sit on the couch in your own house. Took off the plastic covering for a day. It's not like I just opened in the kitchen and then was like, whatever. I'm like, no, no, I'm like doing my own special unboxing for this treat item. For the fans at home. I said it was a depressing story. I just thought that self harm would be the depressing one. Oh, oh, oh.

And so then I like run into the kitchen and there's blood like everywhere. And I'm going through my like little first aid basket looking for anything. Expired band-aids. Yes. Yes. And I'm like, how? And I know- Why have I not organised the- Yes.

But I know that I have this like, from when I did a mummy costume for Halloween, maybe like eight years ago, you know the one. Have you stopped the bleeding yet? No. But I'm like, I know that I've Have you stopped the bleeding yet? No. But I'm like, I know that I've got like maybe a hundred dollars worth of bandages. You don't need bandages though. If you're bleeding out, you need to just put anything on it. You need to stop the bleeding first.

Well, yes. So any part... I know I've got some mummy costumes somewhere. Yes. Come on. I need... Where got some mummy costume somewhere. Yes. Come on. I need. Where is my mummy costume?

I need some plaster of Paris. I'll get that wet real quick. So anyway, I found Band-Aids. I was like, this will be fine, except that there was so much blood that it wouldn't adhere. Well, yes, you need to stop the bleeding. Yeah, but like the chicken or the egg, I was like, with the pressure it will stop, but I can't get the pressure on because it's too much blood.

So anyway, I swapped it all up. I like got band-aids on there. It all like stopped. And then like, I had so many band-aids on because they were just regular band-aids and the cut was so long that it was like, it was just cooked. It was so long that it was like, it was just cooked. It was so cooked.

And I was like, I am like 90% sure that I should go and get stitches right now. Because it was like, it wasn't just like, very much your brother talking. He loves to go and send people off to get plastic surgery. Yes. But I was like, I, it's just not hap, like that isn't going to happen for me. Like I'm not going to emergency right now. You're ready to be an American. It's not happening.

I'm just not doing that. Yeah. Okay, enough for us. It was like this bandaid will be fine. Oh my God. And so then it was also super late because when we recorded last week, we, uh, I don't know, spoke for seven hours. Like it was so late by the time we actually got home and I'd been at work all day.

Anyways, just like I'm going to bed. So I went to bed, got up the next day, went to work with my bandaged thumb. Well, not bandaged, bandaid, couldn't find the bandages. And then when I got home again, after work that day, I was like, what the fuck? And there's just blood now dried all over the kitchen. There's just like all these wrappers of band-aids. It was just a mess. Anyway, that's that.

Then I had the next couple of days off work because I had a cold anyway, but also I had this, you know, serrated thumb, which I opened up the bandages on the next day because I was like, I haven't changed the burn date. I'm going to have all, you know, like reptilian puffy skin under there, which I had because, and my thumb at by this point

was like throbbing because I had to cause, and my thumb at, by this point was like throbbing. Cause I had to apply the bandages really tight because I needed to keep my gash together. Your thumb was going to fall off. Yeah. Um, but like the pressure was so intense that like when I had to cut through the band-aids to get them off. And then it was just like, can you thumb up again?

And then all this blood started pouring out again. Oh, so bad. Because it hadn't healed at all because I should have gone and gotten stitches. Anyway, I didn't go and get stitches then. Oh my God. Two days had passed, imagine. I mean, enough.

So I instead just let it air out and I just, you know, pleaded myself to sitting on the couch with some, you know, like a healthy amount of, um, clean cough. Pouring into a bucket. Yeah. And, uh, eventually it subsided. And anyway, now the cut is well and truly on the way to being healed. I'll have to cover it at work because I can't get anything in it.

But on a casual day like today, this I'm just being very conscious of. Anyway, so then I like on the Tuesday night, after the cut, I was like, how did this happen? Because like the knife obviously, well, I've given it away. It's a knife. But the tool obviously has a serrated edge.

One serrated edge and one just like blade edge. But I hadn't, I just didn't think it was like serrated like a bread knife. I just thought serrated as in like, I don't know, I honestly don't know. And then I was like, how have I been so misled? And then I pulled up the website that I bought it from and it indeed says the ultimate garden knife.

And I was like, anyway, I skimmed over the fact that it was a knife. I read three words out of the four. Is your love garden? Yeah. I'm ultimate? Yeah. The? And I bought a knife and then cut myself on the knife because I didn't think about it.

I think God you didn't buy a gun. All right. I mean like, I thought this was a bubble machine. I swear to God though, because you told me this story and I, you were just like, I just got this and I was imagining like secateurs that had like an unusual blade that faced outwards as well as inwards or something like that. Something stupid. And then just during the course of this conversation, I looked up what a

hori-hori is. Yeah. Bitch. It is not mistakeable for a single other thing that has ever existed. I think I just thought it was more of a little... I thought it was a little trowel, you know, like a little hand spade. Did you think that while you were ordering the ultimate garden knife? Yeah, because I didn't, I just skimmed over the knife and what do you need a knife in the garden?

I don't know, but I said that I did need it and does he use it all the time According to that one video and he just hides the cuts But now I'm scared like it's also like, it's incredible. Like it is. It's like a dagger. Like it's so hefty. It's really cool. But now I'm so scared. Someone comes to your house and finds a room full of blood and band-aids and this knife just sitting there.

And on your computer is just pictures of nudes and children. Oh my God. Fucking hell. Must be some kind of gangland thing happening here. Sorry. I'm just re-calibering my file. I'm just trying to re-caliber. Look at that one.

Or that one. Organizing my digital footprint. But I did have someone over, what night was it? Maybe like- On a sick day? Zelda, sick days are for you, not for you and someone else. Wow. They're not dick days, darling.

God, I. Whoa. God, I'm terrible. Anyway. Was it a dick appointment? It was. On a sick day? Well, my... It's a cure.

It's an episode description. Oh my God, I could say such a vulgar thing. What? No, I can't. You already had an extra hole. What? The blood could be lube. No. You let me see your deep throat, I can't. You already had an extra hole. What? The blood could be lube. No.

Let me see your deep throat game was good. What? What were you gonna say? I was gonna say my hole wasn't sick. But then afterwards I was like, he went to the bathroom once or twice and I was like, the only thing on that journey is the giant Hori Hori gardening knife on the bench. And I was like, wait, just so you know, this is a Japanese gardening knife and it's not, I'm not going to kill you with it. It just happens to be out because they haven't taken it to the garage

yet. And he was like, okay. Where I keep the other knife. But it was just like, it's such a, I don't know, it looks scary. Well, to some, he was like, oh, you mean the shovel? I mean the small little spade. Oh my God. And were you bleeding all over the sheets while you said that? No, because my bandage was still on very tight.

Oh. Before I had released the pressure. I really hope, I can't believe you were using a sick day when you should be resting to be filled with cum. That was a day actually in my defence that I didn't call in sick. Oh, so you're like, I earned it. Yep. Special day, did you call the next day sick?

Yes. Well maybe if you weren't full of cum, you could have gone to work. Oh. Well. Maybe, I suppose we'll never know. We'll never know. Yeah. And we'll never know a day when you're not. Oh my God.

Anyway, what a gorgeous segue into which gardening tool goes into the bunker. Ah, yes. Yes. Okay, let's get into it. Okay. So, I don't know, hori-hori is this, so it's this Japanese gardening knife. Don't know if you've heard of it before.

I've never used one, but I did recently purchase one. Oh. Yeah. And you would like to nominate it? No. We can't do that to the movie. They're really sharp. Why would you know that?

And a sickle? I don't really know what they're used for. So I don't think that's got my vote either. Well can I say, yes. The okay. So you know when you get like a pack, like say it's the father's day, um, you know, store market in the school hall. Oh yeah.

Five dollars to spend. And they usually have like four garden tools there available. I get the little spade, Kate's spade. There seems to be an overabundance of little forks using gardening. You're talking about the little rake fork or the one that's just like straight vertical? Like both. Yeah. I'm like, when am I using that? When I couldn't just use a little spade.

Mm-hmm. Like, can you answer that for me, garden girl? I think those things are quite stupid. Yeah. I hate them. We have hands for that. Rake, fork, weeder, shovel, shears, trowel. Okay.

Trowel and shovel are the same thing. We need to calm down. Well. Now it gets into it. Now it gets interesting, because I think you're going to start defending some of these things. Okay. So, how I love the action

and indeed the reaction of a fabulous garden shears. Whoosh, whoosh, like fabulous like garden shears. Whoosh, whoosh, like secateurs. No, long, long shears. Yeah, long voice. I think head shears are the best. Yeah. I think so many of them are so ugly though.

There are a lot of these suffer from being ugly. What do you think about like a long handled secreteer type thing? Like it's got tiny little time, I mean blades at the front. Yeah. And then it's super long handles for reaching. Oh, like loppers. Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. High branches. Cindy loppers. Yeah. Um, I using, I love loppers. Yeah, that's good.

And what do you think of a garden fork? I, you know what I don't like and I never have is mulch. Like, or like causes those fires. And, oh, yes, yes. Um, and that asbestos playground or whatever. Yeah. Oh my God. That reminds me.

Yes. We'd had this conversation before, and then I looked it up and never spoke to you again. But I, now I'm scared to bring it up. Now you're sending me at the start of the podcast. Okay, listener, I had heard on the wind in some context that there was, there was the myth that I believed at the time that if, Nazali, you have to say quiet until the end, if you water

your lawn during the daytime, it will burn the leaves because the water will magnify on the leaf through the sun. The sun's rays will be magnified by the water droplets left on the leaves or the grass or whatever and burn whatever plant you've just watered during the daytime. Which I was like, ah, and then I said that to Zelda and she's like, actually, my father works in this trade and it is true that that does happen. And then I was like, oh, I'd never heard anything like that out of Zelda's mouth before where she said, my father works as a landscape whatever, horticulturist.

And so I was like, okay. And then I thought about it later and I was like, I should Google that. And then I Googled it. And they were like, no, it doesn't do anything. You can water your plants during the daytime, It doesn't force them to burn at all. And that's, I bring that to you, you can speak now. Okay, well I invite you to do so darling and see how it works out.

I don't know baby, what am I in control of? The sun and water? No. Oh. I don't know. That makes one of us. Sun water, sun water. She's doing her sun and water? No. Oh. I don't know. That makes one of us. Sun water, sun water. She's doing her sun and water curse again.

If you could be control of one, which one would be control of? The sun or water? Yeah. How do you control the sun? What does that look like? Whether it's overcast or not. I know that's technically the clouds, but we're going from like that's kind of water.

A primary school understanding. I guess that's true. No, I guess if you could control the sun, you could do solar flares. Yeah. Shoot magma. You could kill people for the death ray. I could expand. I could magnify.

Well, I guess the sun has also just profound amounts of energy that water that and all lot of a whole lot of gas. And a dense core. So, yeah, pitchforks and stuff are so- You didn't answer the question. What? Sun or water? Oh, I think water, because it feels more-

New scale. I think water, because it feels more like- New scale. Well, no, like water is a bit everywhere and like- Sun is everywhere. Yeah, but like if you're controlling the sun, like the sun is in outer space, like you're controlling that ball. You're not controlling how it like impacts the things around it.

You're just controlling it. So like you're controlling that. Like no. That is the question. Yeah, but I think that's boring. Cause like you can't have much influence. We feel like what if you could do like off on, off on. Oh, okay. Off on.

Well, then you could just be off and watch them all die. Well, I think people would die quite quickly. Actually. Yeah. It'd be quite cold. No, I'd have the head around. That would be the downfall of solar. Actually quickly. You know how cold it was yesterday here in Australia? I was here.

All of Australia. Yeah. I was freezing. Me and Kiergene were both in separate rooms doing our office work, and we had our heaters on in respective rooms because it was so cold. And then I got up and went to the front of the house, to our bedroom, and the windows were open. And I felt like Nicole Kidman in the others. and went to the front of the house, to our bedroom, and the windows were open.

And I felt like Nicole Kidman in the others, be like, why are the windows open? Who took the window? And I ran and I was like, Gertrude, and he's like, we need a breeze. And I was like, what do you mean? You psycho. And cause- That's what happened when I came over the other night as well, remember?

Yes. When we did the episode to Lazy in Adelaide. Obsessed with a breeze. I went, I came in and it was like, it's quite chilly in here. A guy was just sitting in his office with the window on. And we had... The heater was blasting in the next room. We have a hole in our plaster, the ceiling, two holes that are almost just letting the

winter draughts straight in. Straight into the elements. So we're already at a disadvantage and we are blasting our heaters to try and escape the chill. Yeah. And he is opening, like, it's like if we were to live on a submarine and I'm like, violently trying to patch little holes. And then I find out that he's just opened the fucking top trap door and he's like,

what? We need the water. Yeah. And so he, because he's like lived in Darwin and he's just like, he's like, I just like to have a through breeze. Yeah. So we've had to Institute a like minimum temperature at which he can just open the windows, which I said is 18 degrees. Okay.

That's fair. That's fair. And I'm like, cause I'd heard. Cause that's what you kind of want the ambient temperature to be like in your house anyway. I don't think, I don't think. Right. I think there's a reason air conditioners are only set as low as 18. Yeah. But I think, um, 18 is the only bearable one where I'm like, maybe, baby.

Maybe, baby. But yeah, that's like drag race set. Hold. Wow. Yeah. So my contribution to this is I understand that I love love a breeze. I hate stuffy. I think sometimes I'd rather be cold than stuffy. And indeed, when I left the home today, I was like, you know what? I actually can't come back to this stuffy house. So I left the like bathroom window

open so that it could just like get some blood out and breeze in here. Yeah. Just stand your blood. And then I can close it back up and put the heater on. I think, okay here's my theory. Number one you don't need, like I think our house cannot get stuffy because there is holes in the ceiling. So it's like, even if we wanted it to be stuffy, the air is just, there is such a thin layer of plaster between us and the outside world at this point. But also I think if you're in bed and you want, and you're all rugged up and you want a little bit of a cool room and like a bit of a breeze. I'm okay with that. Like I think that like I could can contemplate a world where you would

want a nighttime breeze while you're sleeping just to help you breathe or whatever. That one is like wonder grace. No, even in that case, I'm like this is me being my most generous. No, even in that case, I'm like, this is me being my most generous. But I think as soon as you're up walking around on your little tootsies, you need to keep as and preserve as much of the heat as possible. Yeah, that's all. Yeah. I mean, that's why I suppose I left the window open when I was not in the house.

So I can return to it being refreshed and then swiftly close the windows. Stuff it up again. Yeah. I also just think you've got to reframe the word stuffy into cozy. Oh, no, it's, but it's not. It's cozy. No, it's stuffy. You know?

No. Also, just get yourself an air filter for winter. Oh, what is that? You know how like, have you ever looked? I mean, that's exactly what it says. I don't think it says the same level in your house, but in my house, where we, once again, do not have a ceiling, but have you ever looked at like your figurines or your shelves and seen a thin film of dust?

Oh my yes. So an air filter would help in reducing that because as the dust particles are traveling through the air, they get sucked into the air filter and then that catches the dust from the air and spits out dust free air. So if you leave it on long enough, you now have just this fresh air that doesn't have any dust or pollutants in it. Yeah, like chemicals, you can have airborne chemicals. Yeah.

You can have mold spores. Yeah. You could have mulch spores. Yeah. So anything that's flying into your house from the outside world or even is being produced inside of your house. Yeah. And so you just have less...

Fast. Sorry, Matt. Sorry. This is not an Auntie Donna podcast. We're not doing that. Sorry. This is not an Auntie Donna podcast. We're not doing that. Sorry. We're not talking about, we're talking about blood. Yeah.

You know? And we're talking about children and dick pics. Handfuls of snots. Yeah. Yeah. That's as far, that's as blue as we'll go. I'm sorry, I forgot, gay people don't fart. We don't do that.

We don't acknowledge it. No. Sorry. No'm sorry. I forgot gave me don't fuck. We don't do that. We don't acknowledge it Sorry listener sorry Yeah, yeah, that's why you might get an air filter. They're ugly objects, but I think you would love it. I think they're just so ugly. But I think I saw one that's also a coffee table. What about if there was one that looked like Gengar from Pokemon? Would you like that? I...

What about Blastoise? It could look like a big Blastoise. You'd like that, wouldn't you? I don't think I would like that? I, well, what about blast toys? It could look like a big blast. Or is you'd like that? Wouldn't you? I don't think I would like that. One piece. You'd like that. Wouldn't you? No, you wouldn't like that.

You can't get L field to shape like that. What about Ryuk from death note? He could be sitting there filtering your hair. You'd like that? Seven feet tall statue? Yes. Where do the filters go? Oh they go inside the apple deer. Of course. Okay. Well maybe. Yeah I think you'd like that. I see. What I'd really like is to decide which gardening tool. I think that my pick. What about when you get ladies gardening things that have like a disgusting floral print enamel

adhered to the blades? It's so fucked. You don't like that? I don't like that. I think I do like the gardening gloves version of that. Because it's just like so funny to be like, the ladies one, well, grandmother needs a nice floral pair to go with.

Really like that. That I think is kind of funny when it gets to the tools, no, no, they're so ugly. But I also hate like neon, like, like the hideous, like neon version of like secateurs as well. Like why would I want a floral orange? Sorry, dandrogeny. When it's like I could have the fabulous-

I've never seen what you're talking about. Oh, yes. Is that for purpose in the way that like, sure. You're pink and beautiful. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that like, sure. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that like, sure. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that like, sure. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that like, sure. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that like, sure. I'm like, I'm not fit for purpose in the way that,

like sure, you're pink and beautiful right out the box, but like, you're not gonna look like that ever again. And I hate that you've made something that doesn't look good after 30 years. Yes. Which is the good thing actually about your hori-hori. It will look lifted. Is it like, it just, you know, once it gets a little bit of a tarnish and the

wood kind of ages down, it started looking even more charming than ever. Right. Granny Weatherwax out there in her yard. Granny Weatherwax. Yes. I see. Yeah. Um, uh, yes.

What about, okay. So what about, um, the rake, the pitchfork rather. The show rake. My name is love. I don't like mulch. What kind of, okay. Well, let's move on. I was saying before, that's why I wouldn't pick a pitchfork.

Why don't you like mulch? Because I think it's so ugly. What do we want to look at? Do you like bits of bark? What do you think is better than mulch? Plants. Yeah, but Devo, between the plants. Yeah, lush plants, densely planted.

Yeah, between that. Yeah, like maybe you might need something. Yes, you will. But like you should, I don't want to look at it. Like I don't like landscaping where it's like, here is a plant. And then one and a half meters later, here's another plant. And in between that, you best believe we've got a whole lot of mulch or worse, pebbles. Oh, I'm glad that you said worse.

I was worried that you were erring towards pebbles. No, God, I'm not fucking crazy. But, um. Despite everything I've said worse. I was worried that you were erring towards pebbles. No, God, I'm not fucking crazy. But, um. Despite everything I've said today. But you know, I think that the thing about mulches that it is, it's there for now, but the intent is that the plants that are a meter apart grow in.

Oh mama. But they need to settle and have a bit of time and a bit of space to be able to grow. Yes. A lot of weeds coming in. Yes. It's just a protective layer. Yes.

But I think just like the... It's got that fabulous smell when it rains. I love the smell of mulch. Well, what do you mean? But it's just that like, there's just, there was a real like... Tan buck? Yeah, like when it's dyed, like the dyed black mulch or that like red mulch, it just is so ugly.

No, I agree. But like a homemade mulch. Yeah, that's fine. I mean, that's what I use in my garden. Bush mulch. Yeah. Yeah, that looks great. Yeah.

But it's like that's, you know. Degraded plant matter and it's good for the soil. Yes, yes, yes. But just that hideous dyed black mulch. Ugh, why am I looking at that? Yeah, I agree. Ugh, I hate it. So, and you might spread it with a pitchfork.

So that's why a pitchfork's not in. Yeah, but then you can't. Pitchforks move for hay, isn't it? It's not for mulch. Yeah. Well, you know. You would not be able to pick up a pile of mulch with a pitchfork. No.

A four-tongue, yeah. I'm mulched with that. No, no, no. You get it mulched. You would not be able to pick up a pile of mulch with pitchfork. No. A four-tongue, yeah. I've mulched with that. No, no, no. You've mulched. You love mulch. I've mulched so much in my life. Well, now suddenly you're mulching. Yeah, that's how I know how much I dislike it.

I've mulched. Oh, you've mulched. A bit with your family. Have you? When we were redoing your brother's front garden beds at that house that he's now sold. Yes. So I was like, what was that all for then? Right.

Yeah. The resale value. Yeah. I made him money. Well, I'm never getting it back. You know what is good is like when they bring in mulch, I don't think I've ever seen it, so maybe it's not real, but like how they like pump mulch out and there's like a tube, like dropping it off from the depot.

Destroying a tree? Well no, like that's, I mean that I've done a lot of. Like we've hired those mulching machines and like put branches in them. Oh, it's so good. Watching it eat that tree. That's quite satisfying. Oh, and then it just spits it out.

Yeah. That's good. Not a care in the world. I just can't, I'm like, I just, sorry to like harp on this, but if you don't like pebbles and you don't like mulch, I don't know what to say to you. Because I'm confused. I don't like particular executions of mulch. Well, you can say that,

but I feel like you've just come out anti-mulch. And we can all agree this smell is enchanting. The smell is. That it feels very natural as a weed control. Yes. It looks good. Looks good, smells good. Okay, well, I don't know that looks good can enter the occasion.

Little bits of wood interspersed with little bits of gumtree leaves. That's a delight. It's got to be when it's all just wood chips and it's like you're a playground. Yeah. That's Tanbuck. Yeah. But like, but that sometimes that is the look of mulch.

And I'm like, I, that's not going to, that's going to decay very slowly. What are you using for weed control? I use mulch. And everybody you madding Underneath oh my god. No never on the face of this earth. Would I use such a thing? Would you ever use newspaper? No Why not also pluck the fucking weeds if a weed grows I pull it out. That's why I bought that. Horry. Horry But like what about if you like you what's wrong with waiting the weeds. Like weeds will come and then I'll weed them. But like you can make less of them come with proper preparation. That gives me something to do.

Like weed the garden. I like that. Just an activity. But it's also just not that hard. Yeah, but it is at scale. Pulling one weed, but like, I don't know. If you got it back in the day. I think it's what people want, like, you know, certain people want low maintenance gardens.

Yeah, freaks who don't like gardening. Yeah. At which point, like... But you want to like set and forget. Yeah. Have a garden but not have to worry about it. Yes. And that's why they opt for these disgusting things.

But I think weed matting is an issue. I think the plastic is weird. Oh, I don't like it. But I think I remember putting down a shit ton of newspaper in my life. Because we used to have quite a large garden back in Upway. And unruly. And just covering the entire surface of a garden bed with just newspaper so it felt like you were inside outside

my Nona did that sometimes in her veggie patch just to like control certain areas and stuff which you can't deny how cute that is oh i love that um okay what other fabrics what do you think about secateurs? I think secateurs, despite the fact of my sordid history with secateurs, um, are my favorite. Yeah. Maybe except for the hedge, hedge trimmer.

Like the she is? Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, secateurs, one time my friend was pretending to chop off my finger with secateurs and kind of like, you know, went at me with them. And then actually overshot and grabbed my fingers between the blades of the secateur and squeezed. And then I had this like cut on either side of my childhood finger. Oh.

Yes. And she was like, don't, don't tell mom, don't tell mom. Because she was scared about getting in trouble. And I was like, I've just been attacked. And we were sitting. I'm calling the police. Yeah, we were sitting in a tree at the time, on the side of the road, as we often did. You know, one of those fabulous trees that you're sitting

inside of, at the top of, and no one can see on the outside because they're fluffy. But we were in the branches and then bleeding, and then she was like, I'll fix it, I'll fix it, I'll fix it. Oh my God. And she pulled a leaf from the tree. And I was like, that's a fairy newspaper, Sam, that's not a band-aid. And then she wrapped my finger with a fucking leaf. I was like, there, it's fine. I was like, I think we should tell. Yeah.

And then we did. She didn't get in trouble. Well, she was scared though. She wouldn't have gotten, she would have gotten in more trouble if you hadn't said anything. That's right. Or if you jammed a leaf over the wound. Um, and so yeah, I do still have a scar to that to this very day.

Yeah. That's my story and I'm still gonna do it. Have I told the story about the lawn aerator and how I sliced my toe with that to the channel? I think you have. Yeah, okay. So not that tool. Fucking hate that tool. But I like, I still think the secreteer is so chic. Secreteer is quite chic. Like I just think the secrete is so chic. Secrete is quite chic. Like I just think the little unlocking mechanism.

That is good. I love that it kind of looks like a parrot. I love that it's just like every gardener on their little belt or whatever. Like little pair of secretees. Yeah. Also, I just think it's more interesting in its mechanisms than, it's more refined, elegant than scissors. Yes. Oh baby.

Scissors in the garden? More complex. Well, no, I'm saying like of their domestic partner. Yes. Scissors. Yes. And then like the spade is elegant in how simple it is, but the secateurs are so chic. Yes.

What do you think about the dibbler? The dibbler? Yes. I knew you'd bring up a dibbler. Well, like, it's so good because you think... Isn't that just a... It's for seedlings, isn't it? It's for seedlings. So, like, it's like a little piece of,

it's a dibbler actually. That's like a tapered stick that helps kind of like the Hori Hori kind of helps measure. I think it's called a dibbler. Oh, well, whatever. Not a dibbler. Okay. I'm sorry, but if we're correcting-

It takes a dibbler to know one. If we're correcting that, ma'am, this looks like something you could shove up your air. Dibba? Yeah, dibba. It is a dibba. You got me confused. You got me confused.

Well, I don't know what I'm saying. Anyway, it says here, poking your finger into the soil can get surprisingly painful when planting a lot of seeds in deep drills. But our wooden Dipper takes away the strain and tells you how deep you're sewing so that you can get it perfect every time. That's good. It does look a bit like a steak from Buffy in some iterations. And then we found the one they just sent to the group chat, which is like, you can't tell me that that has not been up someone's ass.

That is so sharp though. Dibba or dibbler are essentially interchangeable terms for gardening tools used to make holes in the soil for planting seedlings, seeds or bulbs. Oh my God. So I guess, I guess I've made fun of you for no reason. That's the first time for everything. And wait, what do you think? Um, can you Google the does, does watering during high sun burn your plants?

Why would I do that? I know already know the answer. Um, Joe, if you're listening, I'll get my father on the pod. Yeah, actually should. That would be so chaotic. Do you think he would care about that statement? What? Do you think he'd water in the day?

Yeah. Oh, no, I'm probably wrong. Like I don't know. You were so adamant last time we spoke. Because yeah, I literally would never water anything that could come in contact with the sun during the day. I just wouldn't. And I always water at night. would never water anything that could come in contact with the sun during the day. I just wouldn't. And I always water at night. Um, but that's just when you have time. No,

but we'll like night, like afternoon, like late afternoon. Um, also cause that's just so nice. Um, but no, because what I don't want to roll the dice. Uh, yeah superstition. Oh Okay, but yes, um Dibba or whatever is uh, very cute. That's cute I think and I remember planting veggie patches as a child with a Dibba. Yeah, and it Undeniably does the job very well. So it's like basically it's a rod that you jam into the ground. It's a tapered rod and it has kind of a cork straight true top. Like a yeah.

Yeah. And then you just kind of wobble it around to make enough room for your little seedling and then you pop it in. But should you be planting seedlings straight into the garden bed? Once they're up to a certain size, yes. Oh, right. Once they've graduated from their seedling tray. So, and how does that work for nature?

Obviously it's not seedling trays in nature. No, but unlike me, nature rolls the dice. Oh, so you're saying like- Some will survive and the weak will perish. Right, whereas you're like, all will survive. Yes, with my careful application of the dibba. And we wouldn't use a dibibba for a seedling tray? Well, no. I don't think because you would just be planting the seeds,

which are just barely on the surface and sprinkle to cover them. I mean, yeah. Do you have anything in your seedling trays as it stands? I actually do. I have some silverbeet and some Spring Onion that I need to plant. Yeah, they've graduated. Silverbeat. And what else are you growing at the moment? Well, I just got my Tiger grass arrived the other night.

I did this big order from Hello Hello Plant Farm and it arrived at like seven o'clock at night last week. Perfect time for watering. And so that was weird. And when I went out to the street, it was like pitch black. I helped the guy like move the tiger grass up and then all the other little bits that I got. And I was like, this is so weird that you're delivering now.

He was like, can you sign? It was so weird. Yeah. Why would you? It's seven o'clock at night. I just had a long day. Yeah. But I was delighted.

I thought it was going gonna come the next day. So that was good. So you got tiger grass, silver beat and spring onion. The tiger grass is gonna be such a crown jewel of the backyard because, you know, like- Move aside girls, tiger grass just walk in. Because I needed that mulch. I needed something to diffuse the light

on my little sunroom, because it's too bright. It's bleaching my bromeliads. So I needed something to diffuse the light. How big is the tiger grass? That it could block a window? Oh mama, she's going to be so good. Max height, three to four meters. Four meters?

Yeah. How is that going to cover your window? I guess that makes sense, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because like, yeah, anyway, it's going to four meters. Four meters? Yeah. How is that going to cover your window? I guess that makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. Because like the, yeah, anyway, it's going to be great. That's my latest. Higgs grass, a fast growing non-invasive ornamental grass

that mimics the appearance of bamboo. It's often used for a privacy screen. There it is. That's going to be so good. Are you going to keep that in a pot? Yeah. But I'm going to split it. So then I've got two so I can best angle them.

You hoi hoi. I can. How big is it currently? It's for $150 plant. When it came off that truck, I said, hello, hello. More like, I don't know, hello. Where's the rest of the plant? It's so pathetic. but it will grow lush.

It'll be good. Now that I've got it and I've got it in place, she can just settle and flourish. Yeah. That'd be so good. Anyway, I think, yeah, I think we should do the loppers because that's funny. And it's really just secateurs that have a long handle. Yep. And I think that's good.

I'm only dead in the bunker. You know, if George is running aroundateurs that have a long handle. Yep. And I think that that's good. I'm gonna leave that in the bunker. You know, if George is running around, you want to lop. Yes. Take off a limb. Yeah. Yeah. You're in.

Okay, loppers, we'll see you right after this break. Welcome back everyone. Hello, hello. It's Chris and Mari. And this is our podcast. We've made it work. Divorce, babe. Wow. Divorce.

Okay. Now, um, babe. Wow. Divorce. OK. Now, do you have a topic? Yes. Oh, good. I do. Oh, good. I have a question that is kind of like a sequel

to an existing bunker inhabitant. So currently, when asked which YouTuber, not which 2010s YouTuber, which YouTuber gets in the bunker, we put in Christine of Christine's nail education. Suzy. Suzy, pardon me. Suzy. Christine. McConnell.

Yes. Suzy of Suzy's nail career education. Yeah. My question is, Suzy is doing nails. McConnell. Yes. Um, Susie of Susie's nail, nail career education. Yeah. My question is Susie is doing nails in the bunker, right? We can only hope. On YouTube.

Mmm. Yeah. What nail finish or style gets into the bunker? Crackle. That's a great, great first point in conversation. So listener. In maybe- Matt, make sure you cut out where I said Christine.

I'm so embarrassed. Susie's gonna come for us. Susie's gonna know that I said that. She's in Victoria, Canada, and she listens. She is all. Okay, so in maybe like the year 2010 to 2015. Wait, have we already, we've done nail color. Did we do nail color? Matt, search the doc. Cause I think we've put red nails in. Yes. Which nail color? Yeah.

But did we do style? I don't think. I don't think we did shape either. No, I think we did almond. Oh, was that part of it? Oh my god This is so embarrassing We could do Finnish. I think Finnish is good. You know what as we get closer to a hundred episodes there may be times where we You know go into the detail. Yeah, and that is a necessary thing after this incredibly successful podcast that has gone for nearly a hundred episodes. That's true.

So between maybe 2000, 2015, there was a trend in nail polish top coats where you would apply probably a deep color, maybe a black, maybe a dark navy. What about a dark green? You could. And it would apply as any other polish, a solid layer. Wait, are we talking about like an S and S?

Are we talking about, what are we talking about? Just like a nail polish. Just like a air dry? Air dry, air dry. And as indeed it air dried, it also fractured and pulled away from itself, resulting in a fabulous, um, you know, like dried, uh, previously a lake, you know, a hundred thousand years ago, kind of style

cracked like the crowd people still wonder the correct. Um, and that for a time was the height of edgy cool girl. Yeah. Nail design. Yeah. So that could be an option. I think that's good. Yeah. It's pretty fucking ugly. Yeah. But, um, that's funny. I think, yeah, I'm trying to think about the like application where it wouldn't be ugly. Yeah. Off white on regular

white for the crackling effect to be very subtle. You could, um? I saw recently a nail that was an iteration on the aquarium nail style. I just think it's incredible, which is where you create a cavity inside of a larger nail. And inside you can have, you use a bit of oil and you can add little floaties inside of there, glitter pieces, perhaps a small golden key. And then you can seal it over with a UV curing, you know, nail finish. And then polish and do your nail polish as usual. And I saw one, an aquarium nail in the style of it had a tiny little heart of the ocean set in to like a blue aquarium.

That's what it looked like, the deep dark ocean. And on the top it said, never let go Jack. And then when you turn the nail upright, the heart of the ocean descended to the depths. Wow. And I said, that's incredible. And that's the top coat you want to put in? Well, you know, this in the finish perhaps.

Well, do you, what do you finish, perhaps. The finish, right. Well, do you, what do you, if you were going to harness, if you were going to harness Aquarium Nail technology, what's your pitch? You're a YouTuber, you're doing an Aquarium Nail, what's the Zelda spin on it? Ooh, what things would I hide in the depths? What do you, what are you putting in, and it doesn't have to necessarily be like, this is the ocean. Whatever you can think of that would be floating in a liquid. Yeah. OK, so my.

The mind boggles at the possibilities that are before us. My very first instinct is holding your hand like flat and the like, how do I describe this? I don't know. But like where each finger is a different layer of depths and the pinky is like the top and then each finger represents maybe another two kilometers down what you might find. And then your thumb will have the prize jewel of the bottom dweller of the Mariana trench. Um, that could be fun. That would be incredible. Also get a gradient of like a very light blue and down to the deep dark. Would you have that across all 10 nails?

10 depths. Or you could have two subjects from each category. Look, I can't make that call right now. I need time to think. Um, another option for something that could be suspended in liquid is maybe like minestrone nail. Oh yeah. Sitting next to, yeah, tiny little minestrone inside of a tiny little, um,

yeah, pasta sauce. Yeah. And when you turn the nail, it's like all the minestrone is moving around. And is it the nail is the bowl? Like what am I looking down on? Is it just pure red Minestrone? Soup. Is it the bowl?

Or do you see the rim of some kind of container contextualizing the Minestrone? Is there a spoon accessory, miniature of course, glued with UV polish to the very tip? Yes. Kind of half in in half out of the aquarium. Or it could be a dangly. Yeah, a dangly spoon. And the spoon is held with a little chain. That's right. I don't know how the chain fits into the fantasy. Or perhaps the chain is red. Like it's spilling. Yes. Or it's minestrone. I don't know.

Or little pastas. Oh, I don't know. But just as like a food theme, like you could's minestrone. I don't know. Or little pastas. Oh, I don't know. Um, but just as like a food theme, like you could have minestrone nail. You could have like ramen nail. Oh yeah. You could have, um, alphabet soup nail. I think alphabet soup nail should already exist. That's got to order. That's so fun.

That's, Zeldie, you're great at this. Yes. Thank you. Um, what about you? What, thank you. What about you? What things in liquid do you like? Well, I was just thinking about what dang thing I'd get for you. And I would have at the top of the nail, Samwise Gamgee, Frodo. Peering into the depths?

The depths. And there's that haunted elf? No, no, no. And then, oh, but you could do that on the other hand, which would be night themed. And then Frodo falls in. Wimp. There would be the bottom of the nail would have a lava texture. And then as you turned it, a key, a small ring would appear from behind Sam and Frodo and Gollum and then slowly descend into the lava, destroying the ring. And you could do that, I suppose, for a few different things.

Yes. And that would be my pitch. Oh, that's quite cool. You could have someone falling off the side of Sauron's tower very slowly, because that's the thing I'd be using it for more slow motion than slow motion. It's a dense oil. Well, that's right. You know, they're slowly dropping. Yeah. Um, okay. I, um, so when you said now finish, I was thinking you meant like matte shiny. That's part of this too. Okay. I was just you know, just I really wanted to talk about aquarium nails a little bit

I see. Yeah, and I'm very intrigued by bear in mind that we do have only red polish in the bunker Okay, which would be deployed in the use of the lava. Yes. Yes, Matt. What would you put in the aquarium now? Yeah In an aquarium nail, I would put maybe some little fishies. I don't know. Oh, god, mate, you haven't understood. I don't know about nails. You don't need to know about nails, darling. You've got 20 of them, dear.

You do. Right now, I only have 19. What do you mean? Well, 18 and 1 half. What? Yeah, no, 19 and 1 half. What do you mean? Well, 18 and a half. What? Yeah. No, 19 and a half. What are you saying?

So this toe, half the nail is not- Wait, the queen? The queen. Yeah. The big piggy. Also, why do you have your socks off? It's so cold. Cause I, my listener, you know what it's like.

If you have been walking around during a cold winter's day, but you're also a sweaty McGuetti, you, your socks get all wet and then they start to get really cold. Your socks get all wet. I have had this since I was like a child, but like I would, I like, I think there's people that don't come home with sopping wet socks every day, but because I'm lucky for you, well, if you didn't have aquarium nails on your toes, the aquariums refused to hold. Um, but yeah, currently because I've been doing so much drag and these fucking toe boxes

are so narrow, the nail has just given way. Oh, yeah. Wait, so what's happening? Like part of it was pushed off. Yeah, half the nail is like detached and it's split. You don't want to hear about this. What the hell? Yeah. How have you not told me about this? I know it's terrible.

And so I put, it was really like fucked up looking. Yeah. Like, like I was dying. So I went and bought some red nail polish and just put a coat, it was really like fucked up looking like, like I was dying. So I went and bought some red nail polish and just put a coat over it. Cause that way when people stare, I can accuse them of being homophobic, not worried that I'm a leper. You know what my daughter has? I've thought about it now.

Okay. What my daughter has one of those little games. Do you remember those little games where you press the buttons and the little hoops go onto the little, um, spikes? Yeah. Yeah. So I'd probably have some sort of application so you could play a game. See Matt now where you are on track. Yeah.

You are really getting it now. That's good. That's good. So in the background, there's some sort of scene, maybe like a forest or some sort of magical rolling hills or something. And then there'd be two little pumps. Two on one nail.

No, no, no. One on each hand, I guess. Oh, maybe on each nail, there would be a little pump. I think a single pump on a thumb would be fine. Yeah. You could put it, you could press it with your pointer. Well, yeah. And then you could play just a single simple version of the game.

Yeah. Who wouldn't get much control, but who would need it? It's a gimmick. You don't have much control in those games. You know, you get one on and then one comes off. A lot of control generally. Let go of control. Be as the hoop do.

Yep. Floating around. Yeah. Sometimes you win Floatin' around. Floatin' around. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes you get off the spike. That's good. That Matt, you really came around in the end. Yeah. And do you know what? I forgive you for bringing up farts before.

I don't. Do you know what though? I saw my friend yesterday and he was like, do you know someone rounded up every time Tyra Banks talked about farting in the press and or on her shows, like the Tyra Banks show or America's Excellent Model and turned it into one document and it was like a 50 page document. Oh my God. I didn't know she talked about farts so much.

Yeah. You and Tyra Banks have a lot in common. You're like, suddenly I'm on board with Tyra. Wow. Okay, well, listen, I want to say this. I think if there's any listener who makes aquarium nails who could make, please, the Mariana Trench nails for Zelda for a show. Yeah. We will pay you $350.

Oh. What? That sounds good. Is that good? No, it's a major undercut for the job that they would be required to do. But if they're hearing this, they're already a fan. True. They get the privilege. They get the privilege. Ten nails, $350, you are getting so undercut.

But we're not offering nothing. I like that. But it has to be good. Oh, it has to be good. And if you show up in their shit, I will not be able to hold my tongue. And what I love is one of those like, or fish in one.

That's so chic. Do you know what I say? They's so chic do you know what i say they're like do you know what i say they're like super metallic reflective like demons of the ocean kind of you heard her they're so cool and i think we need at the the cuticle a kind of yeah the scale or like the measurement of depth Like on the worry-worry. Yeah, cool. I think that's got to be a feature. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, and yeah definitely color gradient Like yeah light blue to dark. Yeah. Yeah. I think it's gonna be ten nails. That's pretty good And maybe even some UV activated on the lower so I could shine a torch Or see a bioluminescence. Come on Diva. Come on You know just an angler fish and the top one could be a sea snake that's drinking the rain water. We'll see now you're listening

Anyway, I think that's gonna be the answer to this round. That's good. All right, Marianna trench nails. You're in okay But also alphabet soup nails so good. I'll put thatna Trench nails. You're in. Okay, but also alphabet suit nails. So good Oh put that in put that in as well. Okay Put the pump nails in as well. Yeah They've all gotta be red. Yeah, it's all rendered in red, but if you're making them don't do them But yes, you're right, yeah, okay, so we've all got three fabulous sets going into the bunker. Okay. Cool. Meh-meh.

To the world To the world To the entry world To entry world Welcome back everyone. Hello listeners. Not just those that listen but also those that feel. Yes. I advertised this show today on Joy FM when I woke up eight o'clock in the morning to go on the radio What yeah today? Yeah What yeah cool? I was talking about the Morton Bay Pride Fest and they asked me the awful question of so what are you doing now?

What's next for lazy and I was like, I don't know about poker Like everyone else like everyone is that sound good to you? You like that? And what did they say? They said, oh, and then Tamsin, the lovely lady. Tamsin? The lovely lady from Joy, who I introduced myself to, and she's like, we've met before. And I was like, I can't live this life anymore.

Oh, Tamsin. Well, I shouldn't have said this because she was like, I'm going to listen to the pod. Oh, no, Tamsin. Well, I shouldn't have said this because she was like, I'm going to listen to the pod. Tamsin, I'm sorry. I have Alzheimer's. Early onset. At this point is not considered early. They're just like, yeah, that girl. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Well, our final topic for discussion today is which punctuation mark? Perfect. Colon, semicolon, ellipses, umlau. Dash, parentheses, which is such a good word. But I hate it when someone is reading a quote and they go open parentheses, close parentheses. I want to stab them with a hori-hori. So they have done, sorry. Exclamation point. Someone has done alphabet soup nails, but they haven't done them as aquarium nails.

So I think it's still right open. Oh, so what? They're just stagnant. Yeah. They're think it's still right open. Oh, so what? They're just stagnant. Yeah. They're just like painted on. Yeah. Pfft.

Pfft. Pfft. That's what I say to that. Ampersand? Um, yeah. Okay, so Matt brought this topic, just saying. I did, but I can't claim credit. Oh, who's credit?

Well, we were talking. Who's we? Well, I mean, I guess I can. Who have you been spending time with? I was talking with some friends. You said we were your friends. Yeah. I talk with other friends.

You have other friends? Yep. You said we were your friends. Last night I was talking with other friends and they- What were you talking about us? They were like, what's your favourite punctuation mark? And I was like, I can speak a lot about this. You've been primed for such ridiculous conversations.

I was like, I am used to this kind of topic of conversation. Yeah. Yeah. Pick a thing. And did they laugh? They said, oh yes, I don't listen to that podcast. Wait, they're not listening No name and shame them fucking drag those little cunts. You don't listen You're never gonna hear me say this about you. You're nothing useless. You'll never be anything

Do you use it like a certain punctuation mark often I think they were talking about what they use the most often in their emails Okay. Well, there's only one answer for me. Unfortunately, it's become a bit of a millennial cliche. Oh, say the dot dot dot. It's a dot dot dot. I love a dot dot dot. I also do enjoy an ellipsis.

Um, I use it just for all the time. I'm like, anyway, I'll see you later. Dot dot dot. Have a good day. Dot dot dot. Yeah. Whatever. You know what I'm trying to do more in my text communication? Question mark is less. Haha. Yeah. What about Baha? All of that.

I'm trying to laugh less because I'm trying to live less. I'm trying to laugh less. I just think like the sentence can still hold without it being started or ended by. Haha. You think it's weak? I think it's shows weakness. It's like, do you like this sentence? Haha. Um, so I'm trying to do it less.

Um, laugh less. Well, I'm do what more just say it and stand behind it. And stand behind it. You know? Like I think I'm talking more about like my chats on like Grindr and stuff. You're trying to ha ha? Yeah but it's like I don't know.

You're trying to be more mysterious. Well no! Just like less of a little bitch. It's like, do you want to come over? Ha ha. Well who's saying that? No I would never say that. less of a little bitch. It's like, do you want to come over? Haha. Well, who's saying that? No, I would never say that. I would never. Well, you just did.

What are we talking about? Anyway, I overuse exclamation point. Um, I really do though. Do you? Yes. I have to like at work. You get one per email. I use so many exclamation points. Like all the time.

I'm expressive. I didn't think exclamation points, like all the time. I'm expressive. I didn't think it reads as, as that. But I wouldn't do multiple in, in a row. I would just do them like at the end of a sentence to be like, You would never do multiple in a row. I wouldn't do two or three. No. I was told that you shouldn't put any exclamations in because that seems weak

In wait in an email. It's like okay diva. You're not raising your voice. Stop yelling. Oh, just let it know mine's like fun It's so exciting it's so exciting but that's the thing it's the same thing of laughing at your own joke You're also saying like I think this is so exciting, but I'm the dictator of my own sentences Ha ha it's appropriate as well maybe you think coming over would be funny haha do you see that I've got a blade sitting on my nightstand haha I'm not going to kill you haha yeah I'd feel at ease but wherever you said, I'm not going to kill you. All of those had an exclamation point before the haha. What about the... Delightful. Zelda's mouth is filled with brown sugar milky from Chata and she just had a nice big

gummy Suck and then she was like well about I've done such a good job of concealing my milky drink Brown sugar milky I would never, I would never matter, just so you know. What about when the exclamation point and question mark are joined together in a quizzical combination. What? Yeah, I was just seeing that that's not a real thing No, I was abuse. How could you even find on a keyboard? What do you mean? No, not on top of each other I mean like our exclamation point question mark like what I Like that. I like not it not for a work email, but I like it. Oh

How do you sign off your work emails? Thanks. Oh, so PassAg. Thanks, Kane Smiley Face. Oh. Is that PassAg? Matt, how do you sign off your emails? I usually just say, cheers.

Yeah, same. Cheers. Cheers. Why do you think cheers is PassAg? I only do that if I do, Yeah, same. Cheers. I don't do that. I only do that if I do cheers, Matt. I don't do that if I say cheers, Matt, cheers. It just seems too like weird. Yeah. Thanks or something like thanks, Matt, cheers. Thanks. Kind regards if it's really... That's why she doesn't say thank you. That's right. No, the reason... Kind regards. No, I hate that.

That's only if it's like... That's fake. Yeah. It's only for people I don't know. Yeah. And it comes off. Fake. And warm.

I know it's fake, but you can't just be like... Fake. What about if you just wrote from? From. From is so good. From Cain. I'm going to do... I am going to.

And to. And to. And to. And to. And to. From Kane. I'm going to do, I am going to, until we record the next episode, do every work communication that requires a sign off as from. I'm committing to it. And you can't do any ha ha's either. No ha ha's, no smile. I wouldn't ha ha in a work email. You put a smile in.

Yeah. That's the ha ha's no smile. I wouldn't ha ha in a work email. You put a smile in. Yeah. That's the ha ha of emoji. What if you did hee hee from Kane? Hee hee from Kane. It sounds like when a child writes a letter to its teacher. Yeah, from. Yeah. From.

From, I just learned how to spell my name today. Arnold. Yeah, I do cheers because the thing about thanks is most emails are asking for something or checking in on something. Ah. And if it's like, hey, my costume, how's that going? Thanks, Robbie. It's like, they haven't replied yet.

Why am I thanking them? It sounds like I'm like, I know you're going to get back to me. Thanks. Whereas cheers, even though it kind of means thanks, can also just mean like cheers. Thanks. Ta ta. Charles. Ta ta. Ta ta. Au revoir. You do ta ta and you do from.

Yeah. Ta ta sweetheart. I sign off my work correspondence. Ta ta sweetheart. I sign off my work correspondence. Ta ta sweetheart, Kane. They would love that. They'd be like, he's so crazy, he's so funny. Let's get insane, Kane. Insane in the membrane, Kane. Pop girl princess 69,

Buffy's number one fan, Kane. Pop Girl Princess 69, Buffy's number one fan, Kane. What? Anyway, apostrophe, question, quotation mark, period, full stop. Do you know when you're meant to use quotes and double quotes? Can someone explain that to me? No, so like... Because I'm throwing them out all willy-nilly and I just don't know what it means. I traditionally hate single quotation mark for things. Give me two. If you're like,

because if you're writing a sentence and someone's speaking, obviously it's two. But if you're writing a sentence and you're like quoting something, is that when it's one? I don't know. You're right. I don't know. Oh, I was trying to figure out the correct, um, the correct quote. Cause I was trying to quote, like I was trying to put together this article, like, um, presentation for like what happened in Cannes to center, like screen and show you and be like, this is why you gave us that money to go to Cannes And like, there's something on every page. And just change. Just send them the podcast where you talk about

that girl from Sydney. That's enough. Yes. Oh my God, I almost said her name. Just like, did we cut all that? Yeah, there'll be. That was good. But the thing about that is,

in the thing I'm trying to, I'm doing these pool quotes from the Variety article. And like for the whole, like, start of the day, I was like, I want to make a scene really impressive. And to do that, there was like one part of the article where it's like, Skinsight Up, this other film, this other film, might just be the, like, highlights of the blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I just wanted to read, Skinsight Up is a highlight of blah, blah, blah blah blah blah blah. And I just wanted to read, Skin Side Up is a highlight of blah blah blah blah blah. And I was like, what's the like, how do you do a quote where you're like

obviously cutting something out on? And just look. Arx Fos, no, nevermind. And you have to do a hyphen. Still drinking too much milk to finish that sentence. A long hyphen. To let people know that you've taken something out. And so I went through and I was putting in these pull quotes where I'd like, was

like, da da da da da, then any fair, I mean variety and da da da. Yeah. And, um, and then at the end of the day, I was like, I'm not a journalist. Who cares? I could write whatever I want. So I just took those dashes out because it makes it look ugly. So yeah, if you're reading this screen as Chedaya, I took those dashes out and you can go read the article yourself and see where they kind of say that thing that I said.

Yeah. Re-contextualizing things is so important. You know? Yeah. Okay. So what do you think about those weird square brackets? I don't like them. I don't know how to use them. I don't know when you meant to use them either.

No, they're all just the same. They have no. Are they using coding? Yeah. Yeah. They're all just the same. They have no, are they using coding? Yeah. Yeah. They're not for punctuation necessarily. I mean, listen, I have a high school education. Yeah, but it's hard indicate insertions, alterations or clarifications within a

quotation or when citing references. They're all for that. All the different brackets are for that. That type of thing. He said, I saw the police officer walking down the street. God, what the fuck? Yeah, I don't know. Let's just not talk about them.

Cause I don't know the answer. Okay. What about colons? Colons. Yeah. So. And semi colons. Do you use a lot of colons?

the colons? Um, I think for a long time I used the colon and now I prefer the semi colon. A flashlight? Because I think I understand the semi colon better these days and I find more use for it. What do you use the semicolon for? Semicolon, like I would use, like if I'm going to, as I often do, will include like a list of things. So you'd be like, here's like, see below semicolon and then blah, blah, blah.

But that's when you use a colon. No, I use semicolon for that. It's used to connect to closely related independent clauses or to separate items in a list that already contains commas. Semicolons connect two independent clauses. Um, okay. I went to the store, semicolon, then I realized I forgot my wallet or in separating an itemized list, I need to buy apples, bananas, oranges, grapes, kiwis and pineapples, semicolon and strawberries, blueberries and raspberries. This is horrendous.

You're using it incorrectly. Well, look, the more that I read into these punctuation marks, the less confident I am in my ability to speak this language. Yeah, well, listen, that's it. In American English, double quotation marks are used for direct quotations and titles of works like books, movies, and songs, like Last Friday Night by Katy Perry.

Is that in the thing? Yeah. Yeah. Single quotation marks are used for quotes within quotes. In British and Australian English, single quotation marks are used for direct quotations and dialogue while double quotation marks are reserved for quotes within quotes. So yeah. I don't, yeah. Yeah.

I just, no. It's all too confusing. Yeah, I don't, yeah. Yeah, I just, no. It's all too confusing. I think we do the period, like full stop, because then we can do as many as we like. Yeah. Which means that we can do two full stop, which is like dot dot. Or the classic dot dot dot. Okay.

That's versatile. That's good. Verse, not a colon. Don't you think? Yeah, I agree. That's versatile. That's good. Vers, not a colon. Don't you think? Yeah, I agree. That's good. So full stop? Full stop. And that's also the name of the charity that we're raising money for.

So if you want to donate to help people get into counseling who are victims of domestic sexual or family violence, you can donate right now to full stop, an incredible Australian charity. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. It all came back. Full Stop.

And just like that, dot, dot, dot. We're at the end of the episode. Yeah. Dot. Dot. No more dots. Did you watch episode two? I haven't watched episode one, sweetie.

You still haven't watched episode one? I know. Where have I found the time? I've got to watch Jenny Nicholson's Star Cruiser video again, which I did do. I mean, I can't argue with that. I watched that and then I watched all of her Avatarland one again. Oh, it's so good. Those drums. I love it.

Love it. It's so good. What else? I've got to watch these four hour videos over and over again. Yeah. Yeah. While I'm drawing little bits on my computer and trying to figure out where I can get away with just lying to a government organization that gave me money.

They're delighted by it. They're delighted by it. That's flavor. Listen, it is flavor. It is just like, if you read this and you're like, where's that quote from? You can vaguely find it. Oh my God. Exactly. Anyway, this week, Matt, can you tell us what we put in?

We put in, well, I can't remember the gardening tool. Oh, God. What did you put in? We put in the loppers. Oh, the loppers. Yep. We put in loppers. Yep. We put in Mariana Trench aquarium nails. Oh, 350 bucks.

We also threw in some alphabet soup nails, all coloured red of course, and a full stop. No, and your special nails, your pump and dump nails. Yeah. Oh, did you put them too? Yeah. Oh, thanks guys. So we all got our own custom nails.

And we're all driving around the Celestial void with our long pinkly nails. What did you call them? Pump and dump nails. What are they called? That's whatestial Void with our long, tinkly nails. And what did you call them? Pump and dump nails? Now what are they called? That's what they're called. Hooper loop, pump and dump. Yeah. Okay, I'm going to write down pump and dump nails and you have to listen to the episode to find out what that means. That's good. That's good. Okay. Okay. Thank you, listener, for listening once more. Yes. We'll see you in hell. I should also say, I have a lot of... We've got a lot of mail. We'll do some next week.

Oh my god! You're withholding the mail? I'm withholding mail. Okay. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matchears. Our theme song and music was provided by Edicentric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepart.gmail.com. And if you'd like to support us, won't you do so please at patreon.com slash death to everyone dash out.