Death To Everyone - Death To... Jennifer Lopez, Celebrity Fragrance & Our Followers

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

Welcome back. This is us...now This week is mostly devoted to the most recent work of Jennifer Lopez. Please enjoy. Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 Hello out there Oh, hello Hello, listeners You are looking so divine What have you done to yourself? What have you done to yourself? That little spring in your step You smile and the world smiles at you.

Yeah, just a little. And nods slowly. Sulaing yor. Sulaing yor to you, sister. My little. My little. What? Hello, everyone.

I'm Lazy Susan. To Zelda Moon. Is that what it said? To Moon. My name's Zelda Moon. So nice to see you, Zelda Moon. I'm Lazy Susan. I'm Zelda it said? Zeldamoon. My name's Zeldamoon. So nice to see you, Zeldamoon. I'm Lazy Susan. I'm Zeldamoon.

I'm a drag queen named Lazy Susan. Yeah. And this is a show called Death to Everyone. Welcome. It is our podcast. And you're loving it. Oh, the whole of the country is loving it, actually. We were just awarded.

What was it again we won the um tri-annual award for youth in advertising yes and media so obviously this is an ad this is media yeah um but it's it's it's hosted in stockholm and unfortunately we only found out about the win the day before and sometimes with these events they'll tell you that you've won and sometimes they won't. So they did tell us beforehand. We unfortunately didn't have time to, you know, charter any kind of flight or anything.

So we did win the award. However, we were not able to accept it in person. But this is so fantastic because we are we're a new podcast and so any attention is good attention but to win an award like this so early in the life of this show is incredible it is an honor and really kind of humbling and yeah it's been quite a special week yeah yeah um and on this podcast of course we discuss and pick apart a range of topics because it is the end of days but never fear we're establishing a bunker where relics of our current age will be held forevermore and that is where this podcast is different death

to everyone that is is is that in other podcasts they seem like you know in the podcasting landscape as it were today it does seem like everyone has a podcast where it's just maybe a gay guy and maybe like a girl who's wearing like hot gym clothes or athleisure and they'll sit in a room that has like fluffy pink ornamentation and like a plant in it they're just talking they're just contributing to the filling of the world with nonsense words and just like like saying idiotic things whereas this show is distinct in that we're actually doing something yes which i mean hello we this generation needs to learn how to do something, darling Like we're doing something We are creating a bunker

Yes For the end of times This isn't fiddle faddle This isn't gay people saying Lucy Liu could step on my neck This is making a doomsday bunker Because we are all going to die Clearly she could only do that if she ended the bunker

When she wins the Which Charlie's Angel gets into the bunker episode, which, well, I don't know. Stay tuned, listener. Wait, wait on that one. Yeah. What is happening? Great question. To you.

Oh, okay. To you. I, we, my car won't start. Yeah. Cars are so frustrating. It's like they go and go and go and then they don't go. And it's like, why are you doing that? It's a personal attack, I think.

It really did, like, they're just so dramatic. It's like when a car doesn't start, you're like, what? What do you want from me? And why? And so it's like turning that fucking key and it was like, no. It was like it had never turned on. Also, what? It had enough electricity to light up the display to say it didn't have battery.

Yeah. Well, then what's powering the lights? Well, darling, exactly. Excuses. Put it in. And that was, it's been since obviously the timing belt snapped and caused all our issues the other day. Yeah. That like, I think the battery got fucked.

And then it's like, it's just not being able to retain a charge slower and slower and slower. But I've always been able to get it to turn over. However, now because I left it for a few days, I think it's just done. She's done. And so I think I need to call RACV and get them to replace the battery. Yeah. But in the meantime, we had to get an Uber. Yes.

And we got a daytime Uber, which means, have you ever been in a daytime Uber? And the biggest difference is, like, it's like a whole different cast of characters. Yes. And, like, this time it was a woman. A woman. Driving an Uber.

You never feel more, like, chic than when a lady is driving you. And, like, you know, you're supporting. Yeah. And, like, you know what? I'm not going to be an issue for you. You know what? I you're supporting. Yeah. And like, you know what? I'm not going to be an issue for you. You know what? I'm not creepy. Yeah.

And this woman had a Tesla. She did. And she had a white leather interior in her black Tesla, which I'm like, that's weird. A bold choice. Like, I just am like, I don't like the accusation of this. You know, like, I'm not dirty, but like, you're making me feel dirty right now. And I don't feel comfortable in this car. Absolutely.

If we were in that car any longer, it would be dirty. How would you take a road trip in that car? How would you eat barbecue sauce while you're driving your car like 100 kilometers an hour down the road? Right. It's just, you're destined to fail. like 100 kilometers an hour down the road right it's just you're destined to fail um do you think she elected to have the led lighting a um kind of fuchsia purple in that vehicle at that time she said she's got a dial for that she said femme she said this car is femme i was thinking for most of the car ride i wish it was a light blue to match her striped shirt. And because there were two men in the car and blue is a boy's color.

But what the fuck, Tesla? The moon roofs? Baby, we have roofs for a reason and I don't need to see the sky. Let me tell you. It was hot in there. It was like stuffy and hot. She refused to turn the AC on even when I did that. Like I'm not going to ask for the AC on but I am going to wind

down the window a little bit because it is stuffy in here and you're not acknowledging it and maybe you're getting in the face yeah that's it i mean like i it's like come on we need a bit of ac back here i'm dying and the sun which is like the the energy from the sun is so, it is a nuclear explosion happening in the sky forever. Yeah. And you think this like bit of tinted glass is somehow going to like distract me from the fact that there is a molten ball of nuclear energy blasting its rays at me right now. It's like I'm in a tent. It was like I'm in a tent. It was like I was in a tent. It's distressing.

And you are distressed. I just want to say calm down. Just take a moment. I hate to see you like this. That's very brave of you. Anyways, what's happening with you, I suppose? Well, so episode three came out of X-Men yesterday. Oh, it was so good.

How many more episodes are there? Because I want to know how many more times we're going to have to hear this. You'll hear this seven more times from me. Oh, my God. Oh, it is. What? Go on. It's really fucking good.

It's so good. And, like, It's so good. And like, it's so gay. Like there's this scene where, so Morph, who was like a character in the original that like wasn't in it too much. That's the quick version. Yeah. And now much more of a main character this time around.

And before the show started, it was this, so Morph's powers. He can morph into things. Correct. But it's been used so well because they just keep morphing into different characters who like have no purpose to be in that episode. But it's like fucking spirals here. And then all of a sudden magic is here. It's so cool. You're making up words at this point.

You're like lying. But in this episode. No spiral or triangles here. Hattie. Hattie made it. Oh, my God. She was from the episode 5, 9, 10, 11, 12. Spiral is such a good character.

She's got the power of hats. Oh, my God. Top hat. She has the power of having multiple arms, you freak. Anyway. They've been kind of hinting at it in the first two episodes but in this episode fully confirmed that morph has a massive crush on wolverine and then like the mansion gets attacked by mr sinister of course and they all have like a spooky thing

happened to them and morph's spooky thing is like he goes to the locker room and Logan is like in the shower. Like you can just see his butt. And he's like super hairy. And Morph like goes in and is like, need help getting that hard to reach spot. And then Wolverine turns around and is a demon from hell. But it's so horny. Well, I do approve this message, even though you just made all of that up and then it's just so camp it's great is anyone else watching this yes have you received messages from this week's four million people watch the first two episodes four million people how many how do we determine

this number the reporting from from disney i hate it here i hate it here. I hate it here. But yeah, anyway, so that's. Four million people didn't have anything better to do than watch Hattie and Triangle try and save the world. Okay, so back to X-Men. No, wait. What else is happening in your life? In my life, yeah. Okay, so we had a big gig between last episode and this episode. Did we not talk about?

Oh, no, we were pre that gig. Yeah. Troy wasn't there. Troy Savan was not at the NGV Bowery Bowl. No. Shy. Yeah. Who was?

Who was? Abby Chatfield. Who? Kira Peru. Who? Who else was there celebrity celebrity celebrity the head of the ngb he was there lazy susan and zelda moon we were there um it wasn't the most like it wasn't like the gala no but i think is a more successful night than the gala i think it

was such a fun like and kind of genuine community vibe i think it was a really fabulous event i mean the queer people did turn it out yeah more than the celebrities have in the past totally because excellence exists only in the queer community and not in the Australian celebrity community. That's right. Yeah. Because the exuberance isn't there. Because all our celebrities come from, like, non-fabuloso shows. Like Blue Heelers.

And maths. Yeah. Like, yeah. Oh. Hmm. But, yes, that was fabulous. So that was good. And then what happened after that?

Oh, who could say, darling? Who could say? I had a second date. I can't remember if I spoke about the first date, but. With Waffledick. No, not with Waffle. With, did I talk about the date I went on with the Irish guy? No.

No. Okay. Well, I went on this boring date with this Irish guy a couple of weeks ago and you were like i liked it so much well no i was like you gotta give a second change well it's like dune the first one's boring but maybe the second one's good that's right can confirm wasn't good oh um there shan't be an episode three did you hook up? Yeah. That's good. No. Oh. It was like, honestly, I was like, I would have rather just jerk off. What was bad about it? It was just bad. Like, I thought it was going to be fun and like, just, I don't know.

Like, he has a bit of a like, horny energy. And I was like, I think it's going to be really fun when we like, stop having to talk to each other and just have sex. But it wasn't. It was like, worse than's going to be really fun when we like stop having to talk to each other and just have sex but it wasn't it was like worse than talking to him so yeah that's what i dream just like i don't know i think we just didn't have much like chemistry you know but that's okay because i saw someone else on the weekend that i have a lot of chemistry with in a way oh my god God. And that was great. So anyway. Do you know what I found out? This is my like horny story of the day.

There was a guy called Don on Seduce Straight Guys, an Aussie like channel. Yeah. From back in the day. Wait, what channel? It was like a porn channel. Oh, right. And it was like a website called Seduce Straight Guys Iconic, iconic Because the guys did genuinely just seem like real hard yakka Aussie guys

This is in, and there's like a weird cardboard cutout glory hole thing in the lounge room No, no, no, no You know the one I'm talking about? Yeah, I know the one you're talking about That one's creepy Yeah, it is Because there's like the golem hiding in the box There he is

Sucking the dicks of the young men trying to steal their youth Yes And they don't know that he's there And then like And he's like the golem hiding in the box. There he is. Sucking the dicks of the young men trying to steal their youth. Yes. And they don't know that he's there. And he's such a golem. And it cuts to him inside of the like fabric box. And he's like. It's awful. And they like just ignore the sounds coming from inside.

That's actually the Dune thing. That's the pain box. Put your hand in. But this show, this show that I love, seen almost every episode, is like there's this guy in Queensland who gets guys, like straight guys, and they start with like a solo session and they move up to like hook and up. Anyway, there seems to be like a genuine like there are some guys that are like maybe like actually gay yeah but then some of them and this brings me to this

time in my story like seem like genuinely like just closeted men right who have retained like a straight lifestyle. So I end up on a, oh, you know that LSPG? You know LSPG? U-G-L-Y. You know LSPG. L-S. If you have an inquiry about, you know, someone having nudes in the world, you go to LSPG and they usually have it there. What?

You don't know what this? No. It's like if you see Misk Tik TikToker, or YouTuber, you're like, I wonder if they have nudes. LSPG will tell you. What? Yeah. I'm thinking of like, what is it?

Like, oh my God, nudes? No, no, no. What's that one? Oh, darling. OMG. Cryptkeeper, dust the dust off your old bones. Come to the table at LSPG. LSPG?

Yeah, darling. What does it stand for? If I knew that, darling. I'm not that kind of girl. Yeah. But stumbled onto LSPG and be like, I wonder what happened to Don of SSG, so do straight guys.

Because he was like a featured player. Yeah. And his charm was that he kind of had like boyish looks But like looked like a lad And like was just, he went from being just a regular guy in the show In the context of the show To then kind of almost becoming like a recurring character on the thing Yeah

And then he was like running his own shoots and i was like for sure this guy is genuinely just gay because of the way that he's just like i don't know he's too eager he's not seduced straight guy yeah so then someone on this lspg which i do not encourage this behavior but here it is. Oh, no. They were like, this is his Facebook page now. Oh, no. And so then I saw his Facebook page and it was literally like looking at like,

being like, do you remember me? He's got like a whole life now. He's living in rural Victoria. He's got a wife. He's got two beautiful kids and i was just sitting there like this is so wholesome and i'm so glad that your life is here now don and i'm sure you're like going to the colac pub and like getting your dick sucked in the back room and like you're still like you know fiending for the the d but yeah it was just like surprisingly a wholesome ending to the story

i like that do you remember me and i'm sure him and his friends say things that are like awful about gay people now uh yes but he was the star he was the diva and i like i reckon like it's like when satine was at the moulin rouge and like he was like the diamond dog. You know that I haven't seen Moulin Rouge. The sparkling diamond. And that was Don. Speaking of Facebook, I just tried to find his name, but I couldn't. I got a friend accepted this week on Facebook by a person who was in Project Runway season three or something.

Australia? No, America. What? Like 15 years ago or whatever, who at some point I must have sent a friend request to. And then they accepted it this week. And I was like, who is this person? And then I went on and it didn't like directly say obviously and then after a while i saw a few mentions and i was like oh my god well so what was i doing adding people from project railway as my friends was he gay guy

yes so you were like it's like stunning okay there we go yeah yeah yeah the internet was a wild time in the before time we didn't have etiquette. We didn't have rules. I don't remember this, man. Oh. No. But, come on. Well, yeah. Charlie's Angels.

Come on. So good. Well, I like it. Yeah. Great work. Matt, what did you do this week? What's happening in your life? I was drinking my drink.

Drink your drink. Drink up, darling. This week I worked in the garden on the weekend. Doing what? Your garden? You have like grass. No, we've got a nice garden bed. We've got some little plants.

But a lot of things died this summer. What is happening here? What is happening here? What? Are we interrogating this story further? What do you mean? Boring. People are listening to this. That's not boring.

People want to know. Inquiring minds want to know. What do they want to know about Matt's garden? What is in Matt's garden? If you. That's my other podcast, What's in garden? What is in Matt's garden? If you. That's my other podcast, What's in My Garden with Matt. It's a very short show. Well, I think I didn't go into the backyard.

I just went. It's all right. I'm derailing this whole podcast. That was the fates calling us to let us know this is boring. Shut up. Okay. Well, you've shot your shot. Just say three things that are in the garden quickly.

Tomatoes, lettuce, done. Beans, what? What's a done? What is in the garden? Well, it's not really veggies. We've got just like plants, planty plants. Planted some nice kangaroo paws. Oh.

Flowers. A new banksia. Oh, it's a native garden. Planted some nice kangaroo paws Flowers A new banksia Oh, it's a native garden Yeah, it's one of those sorts of You don't like kangaroos? Let's just move right along I like some natives, I do You don't need to include me in this

What did I do in the week? I don't do anything interesting I thought I'd throw you a bone, but now I see I didn't have anything this week We've only got so many of Carrie's bones, so maybe I'll save the rest. I think I would like to convert my front yard. No, I'm not talking about this. I'm not talking about it.

What? I'm not talking about gardens. Oh. Who cares? Things grow, things die. Let's move on. Oh, my God. What do you mean?

What? What happens in a garden? You know, I was adding to my list of potential topics today. And I was like, I put on like, which indoor plant? Which vegetable? Which nut? Which fruit? I would rather.

I would rather talk about which sign gets in thank you very much which road sign we've done that and it's slippery when wet but you know what I do like from gardens I'm going to say these ones and then we're never talking about gardens again stepping stones

I love stepping stones I like that a lot it's like a pathway but challenging not for the faint of heart of I love stepping stone. I like that a lot. It's like a pathway, but challenging. Not for the faint of heart of the old stepping stone. Keeps you on your toes. That's good. There's another moon.

Yeah. How does the world end this week? Oh, my God. Well. You've thought about this as well haven't you i have yeah yeah i thought about a few different options um the but oh but i i don't know in my mind i've got you saying like oh shut up halfway through and i start an explanation. So I feel like I'm on eggshells when it's my turn now. I feel very adversarial today. I feel very crotchety today.

Yes. Yeah, go on. Oh, God. Well, now I'm stressed. Yeah. So I thought about. Oh. I was thinking about giant envelopes and everyone gets packaged up into little envelopes

and that's how the world ends. Everyone, like, they also get flattened and put into an envelope and sealed, and then that's it. It's just all these envelopes just blowing around, and that's how the world ends. And listen, do you hear me saying anything? Your silence is deafening. They can't hear your eyes or your face.

Do you hear me? I am not judging. I'm listening. I'm learning. And I'm hoping to facilitate this moment. I think that's quite fun. Excellent. Me too.

Maybe. I love the envelopes. Yeah, just a planet just full of envelopes just flying around. And with that, we'll be right back. Welcome back, listener. Oh. Why aren't post offices open on the weekend? I. What the fuck is wrong with them?

It's cooked. Can I tell you the shopping center where I work, the post office there is closing on the 17th of May. Forever? Yes. Baby. It's just not going to be there anymore. More mail now than there ever has been.

Right? How dare you? Isn't that weird? It's also relatively new. Like, it's not like what? It's so strange. I'm like don't and i just i'm sick of feeling guilty about the post like i think like there's so few services where you're like sorry sorry sorry but like every touch point of being involved with the post i feel like when

a man drops off mail at my house which is is, or a woman in a white Tesla. Anyone. Anyone. Any person of any gender expression drops off male at my house. Or female at my house. Oh, my God. I feel like. Or she mad about.

Oh, no, no. Get out. And I say, I feel like I'm like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry that you had to do that. Do you know what I mean? No, that's their job. No, I know. But I feel like, oh, sorry, sorry, sorry. And then when I go to the post office to send something, I'm like so like,

oh, sorry, I'm an idiot. I'm a little dumb baby. I'm sorry I didn't know what to do. I don't think we know how to send mail. I have had to do it recently. It's hard. What didn't know what to do. I don't think we know how to send mail. I have had to do it recently. It's hard. What? You know what I do like?

Those pens on a chain. I love that. That's so good. Oh, that's great. It's so judgy and also BDSM and like, yeah. And like, oh, yeah. Sometimes there's like a thing where then you put the pen. But it's not a chain either.

It's balls. Yes. Like, I love those balls, although I hate them when they're attached to a curtain. Sometimes there's like a thing where then you put the pen. But it's not a chain either. It's balls. Yes. Like. I love those balls. Although I hate them when they're attached to a curtain. Yeah. Oh, I hate that. I hate that.

To pull up the curtain. Yeah. And you're like feeling like fucking Quasimodo pulling down. Yes. And you're like. No. No. Ow.

Ugh. And the feeling on my hand. But I also just. Anytime. No, actually they've never improved upon pulling open two curtains that slide effortlessly. That is the only way to open curtains. Also, that's the only curtains that should be in your house. Like, because we've gone from that to, like, walking over,

delicately, like, trying to, like, wedge yourself in between, like, an ottoman and the wall to where the chord is mysteriously placed. Yeah. And then doing these little fairy pulls with your like two front fingers. And I'm like, I'm sorry, but we had it right the first time, darling. And what? So an ugly like light gray blind comes down. Disgusting. I hate it.

But on mail, like the post uh so a few weeks ago i was at my house it was uh what was it i think it was in the afternoon and i was cleaning my aquariums and one of them is right near the front door and i keep the front door locked like the fly screen because i'm going to be murdered and then there i am like covered in water scrubbing away and then this guy appears at the door and he's like hey i used to live here um love what you've done with the place literally what he said um and he was like did you get a package today i was like yes i did um so earlier that day i got this package and i opened it up because i don't know it was on my front door and it was a um inflatable boxing bag

and a harness illustrated on the front of this box was a athlete presume, in this harness. And as he was running, a parachute emerged. So it's like a resistance training parachute running. It's so important to be safe. Thing. Yes. And when I opened it, I was like, well, something here has gone wrong because I didn't order these things. Anyway, and there were these guys.

Where do you think this guy is running around with a parachute on his back? I don't know, but I want to see it and he was fitbit he was so hot oh he was very hot um and so i like it was like oh yeah i've got them in the other room sorry i opened it just instinctively but take it obviously um and so that was a few weeks ago and then this week on my door um when I came home from work the other day was a letter from him being like, oh, sorry, did it again. Can you leave out the next package that comes? I think. He's obsessed with you.

I think he's straight but bisexual. And in five years. Like Don. In five years, I'll be shugging his dick. Yeah, five to ten years. Five to ten years. Add him to the queue. Yes.

Yeah. Yeah. That's good. But also, I think it's funny how fitness people have the ugliest accoutrement in their life. Truly. On his note, it said, like, and then in brackets, like, it's elbow pads. Because that's it. What?

Like maybe if you had like a gorgeous set of vintage weights, you know, like strongman weights. That's cute. But like by the time you've had like a whole career in fitness, like almost all of the gear that you need is ugly. Oh, yeah. And it's like your body is perfected and beautiful in this kind of like She-Hulk way. Yes.

But then your life is just filled with crap. Yeah. And like worse to have any of that shit at home. Yeah, where are you putting? Like all those like that little wire egg that goes inside of drink bottles to mix up your propane powder. I hate that. It's so ugly. And I'm just thinking about all the like bacteria inside of your bottles to mix up your protein powder. I hate that. It's so ugly.

And I'm just thinking about all the like bacteria inside of your little like drink bottle lids and like. Sphere whisk. Your like weird gym bag that like has Velcro pieces and strappies that don't strap. It's like, oh, everything you own is so ugly. All of their towels are fucking microfiber. Oh, see that.

And then the backpacks and then like the running shoes and then like where you put and then like the running shoes and then like where you put in all those ugly running shoes you know running shorts that have like the little zip pocket at your like at your tramp stamp area i hate that i mean that's like off your keys and like i think it goes from there to like campers they have some nice things like they've got cool little gadgets but then majority of stuff is ugly. But then at the top end is like people like Matt, musicians, because then you end up with instruments,

which by and large are really beautiful to look at even when they're not being played. Yes. Like, yeah. Like my automaton at home. You're right. You're so right. And then drag queens who have awful things, but people love to look at them. Yes. And go, wow. And then they smell them. And they But people love to look at them Yes And go wow

And then they smell them And they go you've got so much stuff And you're like I'm sorry Yes I'm sorry that everything is so exciting Yeah Were you going somewhere else with post? Did I cut off your whole post?

Oh just I hate that like you're made to feel guilty about the post Right Like I think it's the only industry that sits in that perfect balance of public service but also like you should be so thankful we're open at all and it's like fuck off i suppose it's because you don't pay like you've already paid and then by the time like that clerk yeah it's like you're not you're like it's like a free service kind of but not really not really at all yeah we spend our life paying for postage and it's like be open on a fucking weekend like it's just like open until 12 on a saturday morning for whom no no how about you just don't it's just incredibly frustrating it's like i can get a

spinny and ricotta roll at three in the morning for my good friends at 7-Eleven. Right. But I can't send a letter to my grandmother. On Saturday at 2 p.m.? At Saturday at 2 p.m. when I like to write my letters. Of course. It's quite outrageous. It is outrageous. It's that and the banks. And I'm like, why can't I get, you know, $100 worth of five-cent pieces on a fucking weekday?

Or into your five cent pieces in reverse into that change machine yeah that's a great machine well when i did try and get the five cent pieces for out of a hundred dollars for a show because i was gonna love five cent pieces of people in the audience funny very good and fun um they were like you can only do this if you have a business account yeah and i was like sorry darling i've been your customer for my entire life yeah you're actually a business that works for me you you have the money you're saying i can't have it baby what yeah you've been using my money to invest in fossil fuel operations but i can't have a little bit of the coins

it's outrageous anyway our first topic for discussion today is jennifer lopez's new film this is me now which one of those music videos gets into the bunker well actually i think as we learn from the making yeah they're actually not they're not and i never want to hear you say music video and actually like it's a film it's a film and hour and six minutes yeah there's no section of it that is a music video so we do need the director chair actually yeah well no he said it's fine if they don't have the director's chair oh i thought he ended on they do need it no because you have it on a film set but not a music video set yeah oh so anyway that's our first topic jennifer lopez for background because when i sent j-lo no to my husband no i was like oh

jennifer lope like i was like j-lo and he's like he's like jennifer lawrence oh my god what is happening to the world put everyone in envelopes right now. Get the envelope. Anyway. The world is enveloped in darkness. No, no, no. The world is enveloped. You guys keep spelling it wrong. Get it together.

We'll just settle that one right now. As long as it's Monday to Friday between 9 and 5. Yeah, you'd get lucky if it was a Saturday afternoon and they hadn't gotten to you yet. Two days to run for your life. But never fear. We'll find you. So Jennifer Lopez, Jenny from the block, right?

She used to have a little, but now she's got a lot. Yeah. And she. Don't be fooled by the rocks that she got. She has come back. she's an attempted comeback in the comeback from what come back from a time away from making music and she's decided that she's going to put out a new album maybe you just haven't been listening to her music because she's she's coming back from yeah like work on the weekend. Like she had the weekend off and now she's back.

You don't really call it comeback. I'm quite confused by that terminology. But, you know, go on. So she did the Super Bowl. That was the last time the culture at large thought about Jennifer. Oh, no, Hustlers. Which one came first? No, Super Bowl.

That was the last time the culture at large thought about Jennifer. Shakira, Shakira. And then she did Ben Affleck. Oh, yeah. And they're back together. Oh. And the love story has finally come true. Ben Affleck, actor, writer,

filmmaker. And so they're finally back together. And then she's like, now is the time. I'm gonna make a visual album a la Beyonce Lemonade or Beyonce self-titled. Yeah. And so she does that. However, unfortunately. So Lazy and I met up earlier today and we watched this film.

Which she paid for out of her own pocket. Yes. earlier today and we watched this film which she paid for out of her own pocket yes because no one was going to give jennifer lopez 30 million dollars to make her her vanity project which weird rude but as explored in the documentary you know beyonce's didn't do well and rihanna didn't do well that real quick and i did did it not i was like the only time they referenced beyonce or rihanna is like it didn't work well i don't know that i remember rihanna's i know what i don't know what they're talking about maybe that's the point but i don't know um yeah so self-funded which i actually think is kind of incredible because it does it's an insane risk like it's like well i guess you really did want to do this as a passion project because there would even

for jennifer lopez you would have to have some element or some you know like demon twink on your shoulder being like babe you know this isn't gonna turn out right like some element Or like even if you fully funded the 30 mil. Yeah. Would you, like in what situation for a streaming movie would you ever make that back? Like would the deals ever reach that? It's the concert. It would be if you tour. Yeah, okay.

And then you make the money on the concert tour. Yeah, because you've reinvigorated your image. Yeah, basically it's like saying let me get back to where Beyonce is right now. Okay. So you're saying that Beyonce is more successful at the moment than Jennifer Lopez. That's quite an interesting take. It is interesting.

It is that. Well, I don't know anyone of J-lo's era who's still hitting home runs like that because mariah is not touring yeah who's like ostensibly her mariah was before j-lo j-lo was more like late 90s 2000s mariah's more late 80s 90s 80s yeah look at the size of that hair no they were contemporaries and they were always pitted against each other oh god yeah well mariah doesn't even know who she is she's never met jennifer um yeah okay but anyway anyway the point being she's now made this film which is funny because ben was the director of argo which was a film that was nominated and won best picture at the academy awards arguably not a great film fine film but he doesn't seem to be helping he doesn't seem to want to help on the project

he um moral support well he's he's kind of just sitting there because we watched a bit of the He doesn't seem to want to help on the project. Moral support? Well, he's kind of just sitting there because we watched a bit of The Making Of. This is me now. Interestingly, the runtime of the movie is an hour-ish. The Making Of is an hour and a half. Yeah. I'm curious. It is incredible.

The Making Of we're not done with yet. No, we have. It is incredible. The making of we're not done with yet. No, we have. But the scenes depicted in the making of where they're like, Jennifer is very specific, aka she spends about like 10 minutes talking about the viscosity of the mud that she'll be dancing in.

Yes. And she's trying to leave. In the heart factory, please. In the heart factory. She's trying to leave. Yeah the heart factory. Please. In the heart factory. She's trying to leave. Yeah. And then she's like, and also just add a bit more water to the mud. Yeah.

And they're like, get the mud. Get the mud. Jennifer needs to see the mud. She's closing the door of the car and she's like, not now though. And then the guys stay with the two Tupperware containers of mud. All those little. As she's like rolling up the window like, fuck off. She's trying to go home for her like fresh wild caught Atlantic salmon

prepared by her private chef in her fucking mansion. While all these unpaid interns are sitting in the studio in LA mixing up vats of mud for Jennifer Lopez to dance in in two seconds. But she's like, it literally was like a bunch of disgusting medieval peasants running up to the Queen's chariot, displaying their slop buckets, being like, is this enough mud for you, lady? Is this good enough for you, Jennifer?

And she's going, get out of here. I'm going back to the courtroom. She was like, you can't even get the mud right. More water, you idiots. How? I can't wait till we move on to the petals. I need a specific shade of red. So what is the movie about?

Hang on, I'm confused. You're saying all of that is to her credit of course yeah i presume yeah well no because jennifer lopez is the celebrity that is closest to a drag queen true like people will like like say lady gaga and she is in some ways however drag queens are always self-funded yeah they're always putting their own money into pretending like they're really famous and everyone wants to see them. So I relate to that when she's like, I will spend my own money on this costume and everyone's going to think that I'm relevant. And everyone wants to see me do this, right?

That is extremely drag. Yeah. Like I thought of this number. It's, you know, like blah, blah, blah. Everyone's going to love it. And then perhaps some do. And there. Everyone's going to love it. And then perhaps some do. And there's no one to invest in it.

Okay. So, the film covers, it's not. This is me now. The film is titled This Is Me Now. However, it's not actually, like, she's not portraying Jennifer Lopez. Well, she does make a point in the documentary to be like, I'm not being me. Like, now. Jennifer, the film is called This Is Me.

However, she's kind of more of a representation of a figure that maybe. But she's like, I've never been this honest about my love life. I've been married four times and I've never been this honest. And let me tell you, i watched the whole thing i don't know that i learned a single new thing about jennifer lopez other than she was married four times yeah she's married four times and she did either suffer like incidents of domestic violence or she did choreographed dancing with like elasticated long bands okay so the film covers um a character let's call her um jen perhaps um she cycles through a series of partners she then goes into a more promiscuous era and she has a very very very close-knit group of friends who are all probably between yes 27 um and in about halfway

through there's like an intervention scene um and then it kind of goes into more of um jen's self-discovery self-love you know there's a scene where she's talking to herself as a child and that's what really like brings the love back yeah she doesn't need it from a man well she needs to love herself the entire story is couched in this like have you ever heard the story of blah blah and blah blah and like oh yeah you know like it's told like a fable about this like prince who was so in love with this woman and then she got turned into a flower and then he got turned into a hummingbird. And that's why hummingbirds go to flower to flower

because it's this prince looking for his one true love. And then that story is like told with these like AI generated images that look a lot. I don't think they were AI generated. You watch and you tell me. I'm going to, no, I'm not going to check the credits for animators, but, you know, I'm sure someone had to enter the input on the AI. So what about that?

Someone crafted the AI. What about that? And then they. And your hummingbird heartbeat. That's one like way that the thing is framed. Yeah. One framing device. And then she has another framing device,

which is that there is the Zodiacal Council. Oh, my God. I forgot about the Zodiac. Where it's all of the Zodiac signs personified by different celebrities that said yes to being in Jennifer Lopez's video. Like Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda. Jane Fonda. Post Malone.

Yes. Jennifer Lewis. Jennifer Lewis. Who else? Oh, what's her name? Kim Petras. Kim Petras. And a few others.

Who did not feature on any of the songs. No. But yes, she got one of each of the celebrities. Trevor Noah. I was like, Trevor, what are you doing here? Sure. Incredible, though, because they're all tizzed out. Obviously shot on different days.

Yes. And the way that they're talking to each other is like one person says a full, complete sentence, then there's like a silence that lasts 10 years, and then the person that's like in a witty repartee with them will say their sentence then there's a long silence and then someone will chime in kiki palmer is there as well um oh my god it's incredible that was amazing yes and they're like why can't jennifer lopez fall in love yeah and she's like well that was a labra't going to work. Now try a Pisces or whatever the fuck, you know, with her new partners as she cycles through.

Yeah. And then the third framing device is that she's also in therapy. Yes. So the therapy sessions are where we get the explanation between each music video. Yes. And her therapist seems to actively despise her in the movie Until he tries to drive her home

Wink wink Yeah Disgusting So we're going to talk about the different kind of So they're not music videos Musical highlights Which scenes? Which scene

Which scene of this? Because we're going to make a cut down To go on that little jammed DVD player in the hallway, in the bunker. Yes. And that is the only part that's going to go into the bunker. Yes, much unlike Love, actually. Just one piece. Yeah.

Unlike Attack of the Clones, which you can watch the whole thing. Okay, so there is the opening song, which is in the heart factory, where, you know, it's the petals of the roses, of course, fuel the heart. And so, like, the scene... It doesn't need more explanation than that. It's like a factory out of, like, what's that game called? Ratchet and Clank. Ratchet and Clank meets like, what's the other one called?

Where it's like an old time retro futurist like. World of Goo? No, there's been like an atomic war and there's robots. Oh, Bioshock. It's like Bioshock. Maybe, or. What's the one in the sky? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bioshock in the sky. Bioshock. Maybe. What's the one in the sky? Bioshock in the sky.

Bioshock Infinite. In the sky, yeah. Oh, my God. That one. Scene Punky, Future. Yes. And then Jennifer works at this factory. Yes.

I'd say she's a manager. She's definitely a manager. She's definitely an upper management. But that doesn't mean that she um you know won't get her hands dirty she does the work she yeah and in the factory the way that it's laid out there's like giant long conveyor belts that are pushing rose petals into a furnace that is the shape of a human heart anatomically correct of course that is kind of held aloft in this large atrium space that's about like, I don't know, 50 stories high.

And at the very start of the film, there's an issue in the factory because the giant heart is going into meltdown. And there's lots of little signs and things like pedal entrance, love pedometer, like whatever. All the switches are going crazy. So they call in jennifer yeah it the the factory is staffed exclusively by femme presenting individuals yes very important um who are incredible dancers they can all dance they can all dance and so

there's like the the conveyor belt the giant heart there's an upstairs area where all the women are just pressing buttons and i don't know if that's a if that's helping well you don't have the kind of engineering background to fully understand i fear so um it is helping i've watched documentaries about chernobyl and and one thing that didn't happen was a long choreographed like are you calling that netflix series a documentary i feel this probably does have a similar feeling um but the women like 18 very svelte like dancer looking women they all do have the air of looking like like la dancers yes and um i beg your pardon but i didn't promise you a rose garden however there, there is a rose garden in the factory. And they do have a rose garden, which is where the mud comes in.

That is where the mud comes in. So when it's a lush rose garden, incredible. But they, you know, the roses are dying. We're in a pedal shortage because Jello's heart is broken. Yes. Because the movie starts with a heartbreak. And then, yeah, the heart breaks and Jennifer gets into her little, like, radiation fallout suit. Yes. Because the movie starts with a heartbreak. And then, yeah, the heart breaks and Jennifer gets into her little, like, radiation fallout suit. Yes.

In red. Which is a shame because she's wearing an incredible tank top to begin, which just looks amazing. And then she has to walk across the very thin little, like, walkway. Who's making this? Who built this? No rail? No handrail? No handrail.

Into the, like, sealed center of the heart. Yes. And then it's all going into lock. Like, you know, and then we leave that and it turns out it was a dream. Yes. And now we're in therapy with J-Lo. Yes. In this giant beautiful therapist's office in like downtown LA.

Yeah. If you try to put this therapy office in the bunker, I'm going to be so mad. No. And then, Matt, does that make sense to you? I'm struggling, but I can keep it up, I think. This is the heart factory. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I do want to make sure.

You know that Jennifer Lopez isn't Jennifer Lawrence, right? She's the one that's in The Hunger Games. Yes. Lawrence, yes. And J-Lo is the one in Anaconda. Yeah, I got it. Okay, good, good. I know.

I'm just trying to stress you out for a second. All right. You're stressing out my heart factory. Also, I do think that this is, I don't think J-Lo has seen a factory. I don't think she understands the concept of like what happens there. And I think that, yeah, she probably is just like conveyor belts. I do. Truly.

What this fucking, oh my God. I do wonder like what was on the Pinterest board for this environment? It looks like very. Was it Metropolis? Was it like the Studio Ghibli soot sprites with the little, you know, feeding the machine? I don't know. Well, the thing I will say is that everything looks like the like concept art.

Like there's not like it's that thing where it's like there's just too much happening here. Like we just need a bit less, but can tell she's spent money on the like 3d renders yes it doesn't like it doesn't look like a netflix series you know like it looks not like actual movie movie but it's better than netflix yeah kind of vibe is the visual appearing on and even though they did show me that this like there were actual locations in this film like the new york city street or whatever yeah it always felt like she was in a green screen and that like there was not a single person that was allowed to be near her um okay so some of the other scenes so we've got the um the glass house she lives in a glass apartment please yeah fun and her alcoholic abusive

and he like walks in and she's like you're like a libra no is that what she yeah she says you're a libra and it's your fastidiousness that makes our relationship work and he says what do you mean what did you say to me and i was like the wall. And he punches the wall and it cracks. And it was in that moment that I said, writing. Writing. I couldn't say anything because I was drowning in my own tears. Mesmerized by this. Do you think Ben Affleck sat and watched the whole thing?

Oh, he did. And he kind of like patted her on the back. Would you ever be in a relationship like that? With Ben Affleck? Yes. No, where you're the Ben Affleck and like your partner makes bad art. Yeah, I would. Because then you know that you're the better one.

And relationships are nothing if not a competition. Correct. That would make me so sad and stressed out. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could date someone if not a competition. Correct. Okay. That would make me so sad and stressed out. I don't think I could do it. I don't think I could date someone at my age. Mama, maybe you should have an honest conversation with Kurt. He's like watching you after the gig like, you did so good up there.

Let's go home. Wait, am I the Jennifer Lopez? No. Oh, my God. Am I Jennifer Lopez? No, oh my God Am I Jennifer Lopez? No Okay, so in this apartment building There's other people having fights

You know, not everyone's perfect Oh, and the bungee cord They start swinging each other around Yeah, they're kind of like Because they're tied to each other This is why I hate dancing This is why? This is why

I just am like This is not valuable the choreography i i love the choreography through this film um it's kind of like it's very poppy and and yeah i i like the direction and she is a great dancer and i think it is incredible dance like it is great that she has never strayed away from that even though it's so cheesy yeah um it's like yeah fucking like i don't know i like leaning into that i think that's fun yes um and also kind of a bit of a point of difference with her and some of the other divas because they can all dance sure but she like dance dance yeah yeah i would say it's funny that like her and JT are both attempting,

Justin Timberlake, are both attempting a comeback at the same time because they're both renowned for their dancing. But, like, now we're in a new era where that kind of dancing isn't necessarily the like thing. Totally, yeah. Okay, so there's that scene. We've got a wedding scene where she kind of intercuts between marrying the three other men that she gets married to.

That's fine. It's very lush. I just want to say though, like, so Jennifer Lopez casts a group of friends for herself in this film that are meant to be her like, like her peers because like this is her life this is her story told and the peers are like the most random bratz doll collection of people like they are like all super polished wearing like funky cute outfits and they're all they do all look like dancers

and they all are like jennifer no like they like are obsessed with her yeah and they're all 27 or younger yes which is crazy why wouldn't you cast people your age to play your friends she is 27. I don't think Jennifer Lopez has ever seen a factory and I don't think she's ever had friends. No. Because actually, you know who her friend is? Leah Remini.

Michelle Visage's friend. They've been friends for years. That's good. And they're not friends anymore. Oh. But that's who should have been the friend. Because, you know, they were in that film together. The one where she becomes like a top businesswoman.

Like new, fresh start, new me. Top lady. Oh, it's incredible. She finds this. She gets. I'm sure I've already spoken about this on the show, but she finds a tree that survived her arrest. Oh, you did talk about this.

I should watch that. Leah Remini is in that film. Okay. Which is not in this. So we're moving right along. This is the thing. That's what your actual friend looks like. That's what your friend looks like.

This isn't about Jennifer Lopez. This is me. She is just acting as a character that kind of represents some of her journey, but it's not Jennifer. She's playing a woman named me. is me not me jennifer no sorry if i go now yeah this is me now yeah because jen lopez jen jen yeah um okay so what other scenes have we got just let's get through so there is dancing in the rain she's like doing a full homage to singing in the is- She's dancing in the rain. Dancing in the rain. She's like doing a full homage to Singing in the Rain.

Yes. Except in Singing in the Rain, they had the song Singing in the Rain. And in this, they have, what was the song? I don't know. She's getting chased by a hummingbird through the rain. Yes. If you know, you know, but it also reminded me of the paparazzi video by Girls' Generation. Anyway, which is an homage to- That's the paparazzi video that Girls' Generation. Anyway, which is an homage to.

That's the paparazzi video that we're all thinking about. Okay. Which obviously is an homage to Singing in the Rain, but it's so cute. We're going to get a completion of the paparazzi storyline. It's rumored that Beyonce and Gaga are going to reunite for the third installment. What? Yeah. Oh, my God.

Incredible. How'd it be? Exactly. Wow. I know. Imagine. If that happens, if that happens, it'll restore my god. Incredible. How did it be? Exactly. Wow. I know. Imagine. If that happens, if that happens, it'll restore my faith. In?

In like projects that were set up and then abandoned. Oh, like some of the end credit scenes in the MCU. Like I was like truly like, what if Lady Gaga is no longer famous enough for Beyonce to consider collaborating with her. I don't think that is going to be an episode of What If Season 3, but maybe. But what if? And then it seemed like for a second that Beyonce was just going to continue to eclipse Lady Gaga forever. Damn straight.

But thankfully, her foray into films and her new album coming out, I think Beyonce's ready. It would be so fun. It's incredible because we haven't seen Camp Beyonce in so long. In too long. Like silly Beyonce. Fun. We haven't seen silly Beyonce or silly Gaga in a while.

Yeah. She's just in Vegas. Also, very quickly, fucking Joker 2 or or whatever being a jukebox jukebox musical yeah get out but like as if we were expecting it like i mean the fucking what's his face old mate director of that film the the twisted mind behind the joker series um he is like a like just garbage yeah bereft of talent just empty vessel who made the first film which was just a fucking like sid from toy story mashed together of other people's toys and that film fucking reeks it is awful i think you just i don't know maybe i'm like missing the point there i don't know and then i'm joking gaga is coming in and

that the good thing about this film is that no matter how bad it is that just makes gaga stronger it kind of takes like an intellectual to really like understand the Joker. Follet a deux. But yeah, jukebox musicals are a problem. However, Moulin Rouge. What? Moulin Rouge is a jukebox musical. Well, I haven't seen it.

Well, you need to. I don't like jukebox. How else are you going to know about Nicole Kidman? I, yeah. And the bit where they do a Coldplay thing and they go, is that Coldplay? Don't worry. Look, anyway, I think we've talked about this fucking movie for long enough.

Wait, wait, is it? There's the wedding scene and then there's the Burning Man scene where she's in a giant nest made out of wood. Yes. There are people on bicycles and there are giant mechanical flying hummingbirds in the sky. And Jennifer Lopez finally does the most brave thing she could possibly do, attend a wedding alone.

For the first time in her life, she does it alone and she realises that she loves herself. The dress code for the wedding is soft beige. However, she wears orange. There is another one where she's at her like sex addict slash addicted to relationships therapy, which is just Alanis Morissette's reasons why I drink music video. And also rent. Oh, yeah.

Like the bit where it's like, will I lose my dignity? But also it's like there are like when like Mariah Carey's book is genuinely so sad. This is Mariah now. That like there is grist there for like a whole thing because things have happened to her. She came from the Bronx and now look at her. Nothing has happened to this woman in 30 years

and she's sitting there being like, I'm so brave to be able to tell this story. And I'm like, what story? Nothing happened. It's actually the greatest love story. You got married, then you got divorced. You got married, and then you got divorced. And the brave thing you're doing now is loving you.

Yeah. And it's not even like that's the moral of the story. I know. Because she got with Ben. Yeah, I know. Then at the end, she ends up with someone. Not covered. Oh, yeah.

And she got married again. Yeah. Insane. Well, you can love two things at the same time. That she got married again. Yeah. Insane. You can love two things at the same time. That's the moral of the story. Anyway, I think that we need to see that beating heart once again. And more importantly, J-Lo in that Lara Croft cosplay outfit with the tank top. Yeah.

Because that was real good. And the petals start falling when she realizes that she loves her inner child and i appreciate the attention to detail for the mud in that scene it was wet but not too wet not too wet i just do you know what i think though like imagine being a therapist in la like and dealing exclusively with like like, top tier, like, A-list stars. Because your job is to navigate something that is completely inconceivable to a normal person. Like, having, because the thing about, like, anxiety or depression or blah, blah, blah, is that your, like, whole thinking is, like, everyone thinks I'm ugly. Everyone thinks I'm crazy.

You know, whatever. Like, that you have this internal monologue that, that like assumes that everyone's thinking about you all the time yeah and the world has an opinion of you but with the celebrity that's true but then the other thing you're fighting against is that they're also insane narcissists so therapy is just reinforcing this idea that the world, that their problems are the most important and that like the thing they need to do is love themselves, which is an issue already because then you spend $20 million on a film about how you love yourself.

Yeah. Which is like the most ugly thing. I thought, oh, we're talking about Jennifer Lopez. You're talking about someone else. Oh, sorry about me. I'm talking about the folly. This is definitely a folly. Because she's not a narcissist.

She can't help but be so incredible. I wonder if she'd spent $20 million. Like, what would you spend $20 million on if you were J-Lo? To, like, do the same thing of be like, I'm now cementing my story. I'm finishing this narrative and I'm like saying that I love myself. I mean, the thing is like pick a lane. If you want to do a visual album, do that. Or if you want to tell an epic love story in a movie, like why not write a movie? like she could also star in it

perhaps but like it probably cost more than 20 million dollars yeah okay yeah true maybe she could do an indie like a very low budget imagine that'd be hot um god i love jayla acting it's so good she's a great actor she's good um okay so i think also you know what she knew that that was the scene because they returned to that scene at the end of the film to do yet another dance breakdown she did like that so you know you can't deny that that is the the one it just felt a bit busy to me i just was like, is... What if then we only include the bits that are like the either flower beds or mud beds?

I like the mud bed. So, like, it's just even more cut down. Just the mud bed. I think the one thing I will say, though, is that Beyonce, is that JLo doing Singing in the Rain and inserting herself into like one of the most recognizable scenes in the history of Hollywood. Yeah. And being like, it's me. I'm that now.

Mm-hmm. Is like kind of the thesis of the whole film. It's like insane to put JLo at the middle of something so expensive. Well, her and the girls in Girls' Generation. We have that in common. Which is why I think that could be good too. Yeah. Or the therapist of us.

Oh, my God. And then she's also in her mansion where the floor looks like Gucci print. Yes. And she is wearing that hat And she's wearing I could just take the scene Of her at the door With the hat She was wearing

A gorgeous white hat Yeah She fucking loves hats Even in the Singing in the rain thing She's wearing a hat And then she Then she takes it off

And she turns around And her therapist says Jennifer what the fuck There's also Does she do What about the wet look Does she just That was in her house Where she was throwing Letters about love When she was looking At the letters and says, Jennifer, what the fuck? There's also, does she do, what about the wet look? Does she just?

That was in her house where she was throwing letters about love into the fireplace. Oh, when she was looking at the letters. Yeah. It's a really rich tapestry of a film. Important. Okay. Okay. I think Heart Factory, but maybe just that beam

that Jennifer has to cross to get into the giant heart. Oh, just that. Are you saying mud of the perfect viscosity? I love the mud. And all those dances in the mud, but she's on the walkway, but she does get a little muddy.

No, I'm saying you can't have walkway and mud. No, we're doing mud. Okay. Mud. We're doing mud patch. Mud patch. Jennifer's mud patchway we're doing mud patch mud patch

um jennifer's mud patch jennifer's perfect mud patch yeah i like that okay can't be denied so this is me now now actually actually mud jennifer's perfect mud patch yeah with the perfect mud viscosity and the perfect tank top. Not too dirty, but quite dirty. Form-fitting. Yes. But you can't see the darts. And you can't see the nipples.

I was like, what kind of bra is she wearing? Because there's no bra strap. No, she's wearing pasties. Yeah, but like. Oh, but the support required. Yeah, because they look very firm. Yeah. It is. And I saw that.

Incredible. But yeah, you really can very firm. Yeah. It is. And I saw that. Incredible. But yeah, you really can't see the seam. You can't see a cup beginning or ending. I was mesmerized by this tank top. Maybe it's sewn into the tank top. Did you see the detail on the pants? What? Because it's like a double button, like a fucking Usher uniform,

like at the groin. And then just like a big kind of industrial kind of cargo. But like that detail is so J-Lo because it's so ugly. And like all eyes on me in the center of the ring like a circus. She loves that kind of look. Yeah. It's gross and perfect for her. Well, how would she ever evolve?

Like you have to look out why change yeah you'd have to be having things come into your like ecosphere and i think like the walls like she's been in a chamber since she became famous there's not new inputs so the things she think are chic have not changed yeah that's why she loves hats and fur yeah and for that jennifer's mud pit. Thank you. Incredible. We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Welcome back, listener.

Hello. Okay, so now it's time to go into number two, which we need to figure out. Yeah. Like we are drag queens of some repute. Some. Some. I would say we're like mid-tier in Melbourne. You know what?

A few more good images from a gala. We may yet get into the age, my dear. A few more. From your mouth to God's ears. Yeah. But the thing about it is mid-tier. Uh-huh. We've been around for a while, though.

Yes. That's it. Duration. So we have got our instagrams yeah and over the time that we've been on instagram being drag queens yeah we have accumulated people who are interested even just for a second in following us yes so now we need to decide between the two of us which of our followers from our instagram gets into the bunker? So, are we talking about the Death to Everyone followers? No, no, no.

Oh. On our Instagram. Oh. So, we need to go through and decide. Go through all many thousands of them. Well, you know how famous we are. Mm-hmm. I thought you meant people who follow Death to Everyone.

No, that's true. It's in its infancy Oh, now we've, wow, cry, wow I mean, my option was going to be Anne Anne Hogg Yeah Go on Because Anne is incredible

She's also very engaged with our content, which Anne, I do appreciate that She has hilarious insights into everything, not just us but uh all parts of life um she's a good friend she's not too imposing she's just what she has fabulous eyewear and coats in her repertoire and i appreciate that and i think that's really important for an Instagram follower. You know? So I can't think of a better option than Anne. Anne, she follows all three accounts, I presume. And I, to be honest, I think she should be a guest on the pod.

Well, Anne, if you want to be a guest on this pod just let us know you're obsessed i think i've said it to her and she was like why would i do she'd be great and do you like this well we did just get followed by the ngv true so is ann better than the national gallery of victoria yeah check out her. She's got funky glasses. Yes. Okay. So, I think the top picks are from Anne. Go on. Good luck.

Juno Birch. Juno. Quite good. Great. Select. Yeah. Just for someone with queen makeup. Select.

Yeah. Just for someone with queen makeup. Meg Stolter, who accidentally, I think, followed me after we got a cameo from her. And then reposted it and tagged her. And then this was Meg Stolter just before, like, she really broke quite big. So, I think that she has forgotten to unfollow the plebs. Yes, unlike that person from The Peel who unfollowed us several days later. Oh, my God, that guy.

Rhys Nicholson, who followed us after Drag Expo. Rhys, yes. Because we forced Rhys to do our stupid booth. And bought a Zelda moon pen. Did indeed. Who could blame them? Campari Australia, who the brand rep I met at Melbourne International Film Festival was like, can you send me some Campari? And this gorgeous woman was like.

And they did. Yes. And I was like, excellent. I mean, you seem to be going for like famous things. Things people. I'm sorry, I didn't immediately bring up Anne. Things our listeners will know. But where's the fun in that?

I think that it could be, oh, I don't know. Maybe zombie man creations. It could be that. Go on. I don't know. Maybe. Zombie man creations. It could be them. Go on. My auntie D, she's not famous. Yeah, what about my dad? Well, he is famous.

Your dad does really well. How many followers does your dad have? Several thousand. He is a horticulturalist and a surfer. And what engaging topics. Patty Pam Pam from Drag Race Holland Season 1. Yes. Why does she follow me?

I don't know. I wish that I could curate this list better. Like, just show me the famous ones. Show me who is famous. Or maybe that's an issue because I'm going through it and I can't find any famous accounts following me. Well, you know what? I'm committed. You think Anne.

I don't need to look any further. You don't even think about the fame. That doesn't matter to you. It doesn't really matter to me. You see past that. You say Anne would be famous if the world knew Anne. If more people knew Anne's journey, her dress sense. Crystal Method.

That's fab. That's a fun one when we did Adelaide with her. If you wanted to just have a segment where we talk about all the famous interactions we've had, we could have done that, darling. Here's the thing. Okay, we touched on it last week. Troye Sivan didn't follow us. No.

So we're in the music video with Troye Sivan. Yeah. We gave his manager our T-shirt. Yeah. Never been spotted in that T-shirt. And then, you know, like we like messaged him afterwards to be like, thank you so much for having us. No follow.

Why have us on there if you don't interest it? I think he was expecting us to be more like kek, kek, kek, kek, kek. Boom. Yeah. Boo. Yeah. If he wanted that, he should have gotten an N. Um, I don't know, darling.

All I know is Anne. Okay. I'm going to say Anne. Anne, I don't know if you're our bunker friend, but I'm trying to think about what these other people would contribute to the bunker. Well, I think, yeah. I mean, maybe you said it.

It's like either Anne or the NJV. Which of those? What about Campari Australia? Well, that giant bottle that they sent you? Yeah, they gave me a three-liter bottle of Campari. Maybe that's what we do. We send that giant bottle. Did Four Pillars follow us?

Yes. Four Pillars Gin. Yeah. Very good time. Good. Or what about those death traps? Those scooters. Oh.

They follow us. They're obsessed with us. Which scooter company, though, was it? It was, oh, my God. Lyft. No. Right. No.

It was Orange. The Orange one. What's the Orange one? Orange scooter. No. No. Yeah. Hmm. So Meg Stoltzer would be good, though.

Oh, yeah. But I think sincerely having a comedian in the bunker might kill you. True. Because you hate comedians. I don't like comedians. Do you like a single? Have you ever gone willingly and bought tickets to go and see a stand-up comedian? Never in my life.

Is there any stand-up comedian you would pay to see? You know what? After our weekend together the other day, I think that we should go and see Bambi's show. I'm doing her show. Her other show. Yeah. The drag one. Yeah. Yeah. Stand-up show.

Because she was funny. She's she's very funny bambi yeah come on the pod um yeah she is funny but there's no so that that would be your only oh maybe judith lucy but i wouldn't want to hate her so i wouldn't go so what and what about okay let's just dive in here i because as i've said before you're going to say a joke and then I'm going to laugh at it. I hate that. I hate that so much. So you are like, I'm going to tell jokes at this event and I say I'm going to pay money and I'm going to listen to these jokes and then I'm going to laugh at them. And then you tell your friends and three of you go

another one, she was coming, but she had to cancel because it was her friend's birthday. She forgot. Then you go and you're like, ah, you have some drinks in the bar beforehand. And you're just like, woo. You go and you sit down. The lights go low. And then they come up again and you applaud because the comedian,

the teller of the joke, has come out and buckle up, my friend, because guess what? Yeah. Jokes are coming your way. Yeah. And then you laugh. So you might actually laugh. Maybe.

Okay. And then light go down. That's the show. And then you leave. You may think about some of those jokes and chuckle. But, like like I hate that I hate it so much Would you ever go and see her talk?

No, I wouldn't do that Like you wouldn't go and see someone just talk Oh, you know what? No, I have done that I have, I've done that I've seen John Waters like twice Yeah And you just like even

Because that is different Like John Waters is funny And will say funny things that I will laugh at. But John Waters doesn't come in and say. And then. I fucking hate that so much. So, what if it was like that, but for crying? Like, they're going to like, I'm going to make you sad.

Would you hate that too? Good luck. What are you? Like, a trailer for Lord of the Rings? You know? I wish I did. Do you like stand-up comedy? No, listen, I do not.

But I. You're going to go see Peter Hellier? I hate it. Peter Hellier is, yeah. That's like being like Oh you wouldn't eat garbage out of a trash can Then why would you ever go to a restaurant Well I thought you liked movies

And then today we watch This Is Me Now So I don't know I think I have paid to go and see stand up comedians Because some of them are good Haunted But Yeah I do i find it like i don't necessarily have the patience to like to watch like someone who i don't know if i'm gonna like it yeah like i think because

when stand-up is bad it's like one of the worst experiences of your life yes and you can feel yourself aging and you your like nails are growing and your hair is growing. It's like that Shyamalan movie. Which one? You go in at one age and then you come out and you're old. Yes, yeah. But yeah, I think that, but like if it's a funny comedian,

it's going to be like I'm going to have fun. But like I just like, like you know like the thought of someone in an audience like bent over like with tears in their eyes laughing at someone standing on stage in front of a microphone is just not it for me is it like because it reminds you that we're like just animals? Is it because it makes the human other? No, I think it's just like there should be more. Like when we go and see like Hot Department.

Like that's great. I'd pay to see that again. And that's a comedy show, but they're not stand-up comedians. Because you prefer sketch. Yeah. Give me a scenario. Give me something. Give me a story.

Give me outfits. Yeah. a story. Give me outfits. Yeah, like, oh, no. And what about improv? Wait, why are we talking about this? Anne's going in the bunker. Next section. Nothing for Juno Birch. No, I love Juno Birch. Love.

Do you think Anne, given the same opportunity to survive the apocalypse, would do more with it? Well, when we do British drag queen, then Juno can get in. But this is really Anne's only shot is what you're saying. No, I'm not saying that. Wait till we get to the thing about what coat-wearing lady gets in. With Jennifer's going to get passed over? I don't know.

I was thinking if we did the NJV, you've got a fabulous gift shop with Sulaing Yor. I think NJV has a really good gift shop. It's kind of got one of this, it's got this amazing ability to like, you're in there and you're like, everything here is fantastic and I'm not going to buy anything. Because when you look close, it's like it vanishes. And you're like, wait wait this doesn't exist like you would buy something in there and then when you'd walk out it would turn to dust it'd

be like wait it's just a placemat yeah also out of context of that space yeah do any of those objects hold value no do you like any of them no yeah you'd be like this is a candle holder made out of recycled plastic and then you'd walk out and you'd be like this is a candle holder made out of recycled plastic and then you'd walk out and be like oh this is like a candle holder made out of recycled plastic and you're like suddenly the magic is gone yeah you look at your phone and your bank is telling you you spent 417 dollars on it well it's like adelaide and i went to that modern museum and they had these like acrylic hoops, these like large acrylic yellow hoops that are like see-through acrylic.

And I was like, these are great. I'm going to buy these because I was like, I'm on vacation. And then I got to the front and the one was like, that's $110. And I was like, what? But this is garbage. And then I wasn't going to, like like i couldn't not buy them because we were already that deep you were too it was she put them in a little bag yeah yeah yeah and i was like i can't have them come out of the bag and go back on display yeah no like that's it's i i would

pay 110 to not be embarrassed right now yeah yes like that's really what you were paying for yeah i paid to leave yes and did not have this escalate and i remember so you go well and then i now i resent them and i have to wear them as often as possible you do wear them a lot i have to yes because they've got to get the cost per use down that's right once it's done i will never buy earrings again because i'm still trying to get the shame of buying these earrings down. I remember in that gift shop they had these fabulous like NGV Adelaide, whatever it might be, X, this like kitsch gardener, and they had these like really cute gardening gloves in there,

but they didn't have a size that fit my mannish hands, so I couldn't buy anything from that gift shop. You know who'd love that? Matt. He loves gardening. He he does as to our listener everyone i think except for you yeah sister i'm just like you like gardening yeah but i'm like it's gonna happen anyway do you know what i mean you don't get the joy out of it, perhaps. Like, I'm like, nature exists. It's like the one thing that, like, you don't need to do. And we're here doing it. Okay.

Like, that's stupid. All right. Do you know what I mean? It's like, build a wall. Walls don't exist naturally in nature. So, make a wall. I think that's happened a few times. The Great Wall?

The Great Wall. But, you know what I mean? I do But You know what I mean? I do You know what I mean? I do Like it's like I understand you Plants happen It's okay

I just don't need you to like spend And then you know what happens if you neglect it for even a moment? It's over Death To everyone It just feels A wall That'll stay there for generations

This fucking plant if you don't immediately look at it if it wasn't gonna live then what's the point you sound like my father-in-law that's what he was telling me the whole weekend we were gardening that's just like why don't you put a good a nice statue here instead see this is and he's he's a Greek fan? He's Italian. Italian man. They know about how to make a cement backyard. He's backyard. It's just like as far as the eye can see, just concrete and tiles and little statues and little plinths everywhere. Well, you go to the Trevi Fountain, what do you see?

Not a fucking garden bed, that's for sure. You see it's been paved over with nice little statues that have lasted for generations. To this, I say congratulations, Anne. You've made it in. Anne, for no other reason than that Zelda didn't understand the assignment going into this.

I thought you meant follower of the podcast. Anne, you're in the bunker. She's going to be so annoyed by this. Anne, and if you were a follower of the podcast, I guess you should be stickier in Zelda's

imagination. Yeah, be more like Anne. That's what I say to most people. Wear jackets and glasses. Okay, we'll be real quick. She hates so many things, but she likes anne yeah goodbye welcome back to death to Everyone. Hello. Sister. Sister, sister. Now, this is a topic, I think it's a great topic,

but I will rely on you heavily because I have maybe like, I really have one fragrance in mind. But it is time for us to decide which celebrity fragrance is entering the bunker. Such an important piece of culture yes because celebrity fragrances saved so many celebrities from bankruptcy and probably continue to do so i mean truly um and that is something that is like very distinctly of our generation. Yes. Because even though there was Elizabeth Taylor's, you know, diamonds or whatever.

Oh. Is that called blue diamonds? Yeah. There was never like, like it wasn't until the, like Britney Spears and the Paris Hiltons that we like got to like proper celebrity fragrance. Fragrance, yes. Do you want to quickly go over this black fragrance from Gaga? What was it called? It was called Black Egg.

The Fame. Oh. Let me have a look. I just need to pull up my list because I want. You prepared a list? No, I don't have a list, but I want to see what's happening. Yeah, okay. Because that was a fragrance that came out,

and I didn't realize it was limited edition. It wasn't. Oh, it's still available? Not anymore. Oh. She got out of that game, but that just means that it failed. Oh, right. It wasn't like limited edition.

But it was like, it's black, but it won't stain your clothing. Ooh. Because it immediately turns clear when you spray it into the air. Clear. Yeah. So, Beyonce's always left us kind of cold as far as the fragrance world goes. Well, quick story on that. Very good friend of mine recently.

So, Beyonce released her new fragrance. It didn't come out for purchase yet in Australia. Oh, in that ugly bottle. Yes. And my friend is obsessed with Beyonce and had a friend of hers in the States purchase this fragrance, post it to Australia, and then when it arrived, it is awful.

And she resold it on Marketplace. Oh, my God. Did she get a good price for it no she was just like i need this out of my life get rid of it oh my god yeah so that's a worry queen b i think that like by and large like like obviously the queen is britney yes but the actual queen is SJP. SJP. Like who is someone who genuinely actually cares about fragrance and has like. Oh, my God. She does.

Like I just like she's the only one who speaks about fragrance in a way that's like, oh, you, this is your shit. Like you do really care about making a fragrance that is like well balanced by like a very famous like perfumier and that like you have active input into that. Like, and lovely is a really like well received within the like fragrance community, like smell like,

and even stash was like kind of well respected yeah because it was quite like early on the curb of like unisex fragrances like and it's a little bit saccharine now but like it felt kind of groundbreaking at the time for a celebrity fragrance because it was like bourbon and leather and like all of these like sweet honey smells as well but she did well and covered that's good too wow see i knew you knew about this but like for like if you want to smell like a teenage slut like sjp is not going to do that for you no and that's kind of what celebrity fragrance is about so like the generation before us, I mean, our generation is Britney. Yeah.

Fantasy. Fantasy, right? Midnight. Midnight fantasy. And then like- The new generation is the Ariana perfumes, which have done so well. She's actually the last celebrity that's been able to pull off a successful perfume line. And like continue to actually make

money from her perfume line because a lot of them had to shut her recently like it's not as lucrative as it used to be i don't know this but has it like so i know that kylie has a like kylie um jenna has a fragrance coming out in her cosmetics line soon, like later this year. Or it's already out in the States. I don't know. But considering how much of that world the Kardashians inhabit, have they not done – do they not have like – I think Kim's done fragrances before. In like a warehouse, Kim's warehouse kind of vibe.

Yeah. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, I mean, you've been seeing this stuff about, like, the Jenna children. Like, what's her name? Kylie. Yeah. That, like, you know the big story was that she was a billionaire. Yeah, like, blah, blah, blah.

Yeah, yeah. But not true. And now it seems like she's hitting some financial woes and I don't think the lip kits and everything are maintaining her like she thought they were going to. Oh, interesting. Yeah. I think the bubble is bursting on a bunch of the like Kardashian-Jenner businesses. Interesting.

Because like even the whole like the makeup community where it was at a fever pitch. Yes. A few years ago. Like I would say like seven years ago, the YouTuber like makeup community was like, you could sell out your entire line on release. And I just don't see that anywhere. It's really shifted away from that world.

Yes. Who is doing that? Like it's Charlotte Tilbury or something. Yeah, it's weird. It's kind of, there's been a, I think there was that oversaturation point of celebrity brands. Yeah. And then it has fully rubber banded back to, well, I mean,

Charlotte Tilbury is kind of a great area there. But she's not, she was a makeup artist first. Yes. So like that makes more sense than being like, I need like the, what's that one? Oh God. James Charles? No. Manny Emue? No. sense than being like i need like the what's that one oh god james charles no no not ariana what's the other diva that did one a makeup line yeah like rare like selena gomez yeah selena gomez yes like that yeah it's like people know people want to buy from cosmetic brands rather than Selena Gomez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, it's massively shifted. Which is like I think actually Lady Gaga was the last one to kind of run into that burning building and be like, maybe me. And her brand seems to have stabilized a little bit. Yes. Even though it sucks. Well, why is it that it sucks?

Even though it sucks. Well, wow. Kylie, my grievance with Kylie's foray into like things with her name on it is that her like Kai brand, K-H-Y, released this incredible collection. Like the first collection that this clothing brand launched with are these like full faux leather um like matrix inspired like raver goth like leather like with that kardashian lens so it's like quite fashionable but you can see the inspiration like full length faux leather jacket like hot as fuck like body tight dresses and like then a bomber that's like so cool.

And then everything else that the line has released is like, this is like a t-shirt. This is leggings. This is a catsuit. Well, you've got to figure out ways to retail leggings. I'm like, what? Yeah. It's so bizarre to me to launch the brand with this look

and then go into like, yeah, so now we're doing like a- Because no one would buy that. Do you know, it's like the thing about like releasing like a yellow eyeshadow palette or whatever. Yeah. Is it like there's no woman that wants to buy that. Like there's like, like there's your select group, but like you really will just make all your money

if you just sell neutrals yeah and a nice blush and like maybe an exfoliant or whatever like it's just like it is you don't like that's why selena gomez has made money is because it's like not threatening it's not like you know it's like oh that's a bit much like i think like putting a pressed like glitter in a palette is like as exciting as the average yes consumer is it wants to go and that's why charlotte tilbury goes off yeah because it's like so she's selling pink there's a lipstick that's off beige and you you're like, she's wearing a hat. Yeah. So anyway, my pick is Jennifer Lopez live or live. I've never known which way that swings.

Live. It's like I The bottle Is this kind of Like It's a vessel that is shaped like Sorry the vessel Yeah It's shaped like

You know like a balloon flask Has like a bulbous And with razors These razors are tinted in a red glow. There's yellow and green swirling the bottle as well. Kind of like not as extreme as a true like Harlequin color scheme. There's no blue, but it's beautiful. With a stopper.

Wait, everything you just described sounds disgusting. I'm sorry. It was like I zoned out and then I was like, wait, that's awful. It's beautiful. And you pull that off and then spray a delightful sweet floral. Do you own this? With a little delicious. So I did.

But then when I was robbed, they took it. They did. And I haven't yet returned. Jennifer Lopez. Live. Oh, my God. But she has a sequel fragrance. Did you know this?

Yeah, but I'm not interested in that Well what's it called Zelda? You can't improve on perfection It's Jennifer That first one is called J-Lo Live

Or Liv Yeah And then the next one is called Liv Lux Yeah no I have seen that I have seen that But isn't that bottle great? I like to Liv Lux

And I don't think it's called live lux. So I think we have an answer as to what the name is. We could go with live. Live lux. Jennifer Lopez. Live. It's so good. I love it.

I love it. I love it. Or live lux. And she sells a three-piece gift set. It's got a body wash. Oh, my God. So, I mean, that's my pick. But you know what?

I'm happy to also just have that for me. I don't really want everyone smelling like Jennifer Lopez's life. Oh, she also has Glow by Jennifer Lopez. And that's it. That's interesting, interesting, interesting. That's good. Is that your drag? No. No. Is that your drag No

No What's your drag scent Because every Okay if you don't know this If you Drag queens will have A signature femme scent That they spritz on themselves

Ad nauseum Before they go out To cover the beer Yes And Oh god Like famously Like what's Arts One

Arts One is Kim K I I think. Is it? I thought she would have done like a Mugler, like Alien or something. No, no, no, no. It's like a very iconic scent. Like you know she's in the room. Yeah, okay.

But it's like she's used it since Day Dot. And I think she had to buy it because she had to like Elaine with the sponges. Oh, collect them all. Oh, my God. Because it had gone out. That's what was it in my anyway and then like anyway what's yours well i have um kind of a scent wardrobe so depending on you know how i'm feeling on the day but usually it's kind of i don't know i like i mean when i'm me i like green kind of like really fresh scent when i'm me yeah but like when i'm in when I'm playing this is me.

And then in drag it's like a bit. This is me now. It's a bit more like, I like just like something like light and floral, never too spicy or heavy. So like at the moment I wear Un Rose by Cote d'Ajean. It's beautiful. There you go. Yeah.

But there was, when I started doing drag, I was like, yes, I need that. Yeah. And I went and bought like the, I don't know what it was, but like Hello Kitty or whatever. And it was not it. I was going to say that Sabrina Baby Slut, a previous guest of this pod, her signature celebrity scent is the Hello Kitty grape spray Right, yeah, right

It's the body, like It's a Like a body mist A body mist Yeah, yeah, yeah And that might be the celebrity perfume that I have the fondest memory of Like, what now? Famed celebrity, Hello Kitty

She's a kitty, her name's Hello Yes, much unlike you, Lazy Susan Yeah Lazy, meet Much unlike you, Lazy Susan. Yeah. Lazy, meet Hello. Yeah. Hello, Lazy. Hello, Hello. All Stars 1.

Hello, Hello. But yeah. Yeah. What's your personal favorite? What do you mean? Like Celebrity Fragrant. I would say the SJP is the one that I've actually. Lovely?

No. Oh. No. Like a stash I did have, but now it became a bit too much for me. But I also get a bit like sickened by an overwhelming fragrance. Like if it's too much. Oh, absolutely. I'm like, ugh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need to breathe. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know pharrell williams did a comme de garcon collab that was very good um but yeah as far as like the persona goes as far as like selling the fantasy yeah britney spears fantasy i think it is the Britney Spears fantasy. Wow. It is like the...

I just don't, I can't think of like anyone who is like the bottle is like seared into the minds of like young women and queer people across this country. Yes, and the window of Chemist's Warehouse. Well, and the fact that you can still buy it. Truly. That means someone is buying it to this day. You can't just keep stock that's like gathering. There's a moving, yeah. Which means that there are still people out there that are fantasy. Yeah.

What was Delta's fragrance called? It is called Dream. And she has one called Power. And there's one called Destiny. She has so many fragrances. Delta. And she has Delta. What was Gina Liano's one?

Remember that was released? Power. Oh, my God. Gina Liano was in my shopping center the other day, and everyone went crazy. And did they chase her? Kind of. Do you know what Gina's fragrance is called?

This is the law. Gina by Gina Liano. Yuck. Oh, no. It's like Jennifer Lopez situation as well. Gaina. Yeah. Yeah.

Gaina. Gina. Gina. Gina. I can smell your China by Gina Liana. When you walk past, I just think, Gina. Okay. Okay. Fantasy.

It's fantasy. Yeah. I mean, iconic. And I'm glad because I'll keep Jennifer Lopez to myself. I think there's one bottle of Jennifer Lopez, Jennifer Lopez, live. Yeah. Live. Live.

Live. Jennifer Lopez live and it's kept in case of emergencies. Oh, I like that. And you know what? I bet Sabrina in her drag bag has that Hello Kitty. So I guess there's actually three in the bunker. Yeah. But only one that's for general consumption. Absolutely.

And by that I mean people have to drink fantasy. Yeah. It's the only drink allowed. Wait. And thick shakes. When we did... Oh, we did smells. Yeah, gotcha.

Yeah. Just think about the... Yeah. I would hate to cross over. That's great. Okay. What an incredible week here at Death to Everyone. So we have J-Lo's Mud.

Yes. We have Fantasy by Britney Spears. Yes. And we have Anne. Anne. Listener Anne. Who, yeah. I mean, she's going to fit right in.

I think. Oh my God. We didn't even say Sous L'Ingle Sassafras. Damn straight. Troye Sivan, Sous L'Ingle Sassafras. Or Poo. Well, no, I don't like Poo. I don't like Poo.

But Sassafras is good. What one's the garden-y one? Is that Poo? No, that's the other one. Oh, I don't remember. There's three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's not Troye Sivan.

Like Troye by Troye Sivan or Jaina by Jaina. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But that's not Troye Sivan. Like, Troye by Troye Sivan. Or Jaina by Jaina. Yeah. Oh, my God. What if your fragrance was called, like, Delta Goodrum by Lazy Susan? Maybe that should be our next merch. Oh, because you... Okay, so Zelda and Benign as a gift one year got me Violet's Perfume

by Heretic Perfumers. And it's a really nice smell. It's incredibly like beautiful, like Violet-inspired perfume. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like, yeah, it'd be camp to produce a perfume. That would be great. Or like Alaska has hers. Yeah, I want to smell that.

Which is so. But imagine if you got your signature scent and then it was like a drag queen's like merge And you're like I can never go back I like it I think Anne is going to get along great with Susie From Susie's nail courier education Yes

I think Also can we just talk about Zelda You've been gatekeeping the Excel spreadsheet Oh it's because I'm still filling it in. I'm like, I have everything, but I'm working on it. And I also need to figure out how to send it without making it editable. So I'm working on it. Dear listener, if you sign up, if you do indeed sign up to Patreon,

I can guarantee that you will get access eventually to the full list of things that we have put in the bunker. And you can talk about that on our Discord. But, yeah, I'm working on it. Okay. I am. I'll believe it when I fucking see it. Would you care to help, Paul?

No. Okay. No, but also that's not good. You need to do this. You need to do this. You need to finish this job that you've started. And it's important for me. Like, I could help. I could do it all.

But this is your thing. And it's so important that you have that sense of accomplishment when it's done. You get to say, Zelda did this. Yeah. Yeah, for our joint. Well, you know, who else will Anne make friends? You know, I think she'll make friends with everyone. I think she'll be the people that, people go to Anne to kind of decompress

and process what's happened to them on this day. I think that might just be you. Let's see if the listeners warm to Anne. Oh my God. All right. Thank you. Let's see if the listeners warm to Anne. Oh, my God. All right. Thank you. Do you think Anne will feel the pressure coming in? She's going to feel the pressure because we've been talking about her for an hour.

She's going to be so mad. I think she'll, Anne. And that's what I love about her. And on that note, listener, goodbye. Goodbye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears our theme song and music was kindly provided

by Anne and if you'd like to say something or send us a fan fiction send it to deathtoeveronepod at anne.com and if you'd like

to support Anne please do so at death to Anne death to Anne goodbye Anne to the end goodbye the end