Death To Everyone - Death To... K-Mart, Theme Park Rides & Big Things

Episode Date: February 6, 2024

Australia has a deep love for BIG THINGS, and it's high time we pick one for our delightful Bunker, so on this weeks episode we do just that! To go with our BIG THING? Why a fantastic theme park ride of course, and pick something up from K-Mart on the way, won't you darling? Oh and don't forget... Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello everyone, welcome to Death to Everyone. Hello. My name's Alderman. And I'm Lazy Susan. Can I ask you a question?

One question Was there a genre of student at your high school That would always do the like How did it start? The ad about the tiles Hello Frank Walker from National Time Do you have that guy at your school? Yes.

Yeah. I fucking hate those guys. They do. I mean, that kind of felt like a universal thing. It didn't know gender. It didn't know class or creed. It was just like everyone was watching. That was, you know, back in the day of having like an omni media.

Mm-hmm. One. Everyone was watching the same things. So we all knew the same ads. Yeah. But that ad and then also the ad for Frank and Mari's. Yeah. Chris and Mari's.

Hello, hello. It's Chris and Mari's plant farm. Why do these douchebag boys like pick those up and then impersonate them all the time? I would never impersonate something like that. No. No. No. I wouldn't impersonate funny things like... Oh, and so long, you're to you.

So long, you're to you. Welcome to Death to Everyone, a podcast about the end of days. The death of every single person except for the ones that we've decided to keep alive, like, you know, Sabrina Baby Slut. Yes. Courtney.

Courtney. She has a part-time job at the Wendy's, of course. And we have some great things on the menu to be preserved. Strawberry dick shake. A little sachet of sauce. Crunchy peanut butter, if you will. Michael B. Jordan. Delicious.

Yeah. However, are you a girl? I'm good. Another week, another million dollars. No, I feel like I've been like ramping up. So like January went and it was a time. It did exist. No one can deny it didn't happen.

But it was like, you know, it's not like the 1st of January you start. I mean, you did because you work over the holiday season. But that feels like December still, right? Yes. Like to you, it's like holiday is one whole chunk. Yes. And so I think kind of still applies that January just feels a little bit lost because you kind of lose half of it to the end of last year.

And so you kind of are still getting it whereas february it's undeniable we're in the thick of it that's how i feel now yeah yeah okay i feel in the weeds of the year so like the gigs are starting to line up everything's starting to happen yep i'm working working working typey typey typing um doing a lot of writing at the moment. Yes. Yeah. For an undisclosed project? Yes. I'm working on some film stuff, but I can't talk about it too much.

But, you know, I'm trying to get back into filmmaking type things. No. Not back into, but I'm just trying to put a bit more. You're going to do the revival project of Narnia for Disney, aren't you? Yes, me and Greta. Yeah. Yeah. Wait, what? Greta Gerwig's next project is going to be the Narnia. Narnia? Yeah. Oh my god what? I don't know.

That is so bizarre. Yeah. Now you tell me something. Yes. Just about you. Why? Okay. I played Sonic on Game Gear. My brother growing up had a Game Gear, which is like a Sega Game Boy equivalent kind of thing. And we had Sonic for it and we had Echo the Dolphin. I don't understand how like Knuckles and Co. overtook Tails as the Sonic side character of choice. Wait, which one has the helicopter tail? Tails.

Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, I know. But Tails is cool. And kind of like little Twinkie. Yeah. But then like people are obsessed with like Knuckles and like Shadow and then like the pink one. Boo! Yeah, I don't like any of those guys.

Yuck. Knuckles is a gross, gross aesthetic and a bad name. Yes. And, like, slick back little red little shit. Ugh. But Tails is cool and a good friend for Sonic. Yeah. That's a good influence.

That is a good influence. Because, like, he's the bad boy. Yes. He doesn't need more bad boy friends. No, like a friend called Knuckles or Shadow. Yeah, no. No, you just need Tails who can maybe give you some good advice. Pick you up and fly you to safety.

Yes. Tails is a bit overpowered in that game. And then Echo the Dolphin. Have you ever played that game? No. Oh, my God. It's like you're a dolphin. I don't like it.

I'm a people um and you traversing the ocean but as it's a really hard game yeah and you use like echolocation as though you're like special ability and then like you bounce back like because you're trying to save other dolphins but then as it goes on like the end of that game ends with like all of this like Lovecraftian alien tech that you find under the ocean. And like all these alien enemies. And it's wild. I didn't know that I liked that.

Yeah. That's scary. Yeah. And they gave it really hard. Yeah. But so good. Oh, I used to play this all the time so that's something about me that maybe you didn't know

I could have guessed I don't think I needed you to tell me that you were playing a game where you played a sea creature roaming around and then there was aliens I suppose that does kind of fit the brief but other than that I'm also good

what happens on this show, Zelda Moon? What? Have we already said that? No, we haven't. What show? This show that we're on. Oh, this one. Well, you know, we're here to just talk about a lot of things.

No, we don't talk about it. We make decisions. That's the thing. This isn't a chat show. It's a decision-making show. It's a good exercise for me, actually. We make decisions. It's a decision-making show. It's a good exercise for me, actually. Actually. We make decisions.

We decide what's going to go into a bunker, a doomsday bunker, for the end of time. Yes. And so what is essential is that each week we go through a variety of categories. And then from those categories, because we obviously can't save everything. No, officially. And God had this issue when the floods that he made happened. And he had the ark.

Yes. But he just said two of every animal. And I'm like, God, curate. I don't know that we needed all of that. Yeah, if that had just been us, we would have just picked one animal. Yeah. And only one of them. Yeah, one.

One of one. Like, we're actually God 2.0. True.0. True. Okay, if we were ruling the ark, which animal would we... This is a bonus segment, everyone. Bonus alert. Which is like all-world God. Yeah, yeah.

One animal. So, like, you've got one lifespan for that animal. Yeah. And then it's all over. I think it's like, it's got to be like a sea turtle. Oh, okay. Because they have 200 years. That feels like a good amount of time for a few people to encounter.

I'm thinking about the optics of the ark. And I think the giraffe looks the most chic on there. The giraffe is like of like the ark animal. Yeah. To borrow our parlance from another podcast of Who Weekly. Like she's the who. Oh, yes. Like the them of the ark. Yeah, yeah, yeah oh like the them of the the ark the most famous

of the ark like if you ever see like a an ark picture book there's a giraffe they love the giraffe yeah uh what else there's not really like i guess elephant elephant they're just like wouldn't that be crazy if it was on a boat you know and then there's like a mouse know what you don't see in those things but you probably, because it's of a similar scale. And I don't know if you realize this, dearest listener. The Megalodon. Special you. Well, the Megalodon's fine.

But if one extinction event didn't knock them out, this one wouldn't either. True. But the moose is enormous. They're fucking enormous. And very dangerous. Yes. But like, I encourage you to look at a size comparison photo

on Google you could do it right now perhaps they're huge yeah so like that silhouette would poke out on the ark but I don't know yeah I don't know

I think they went for more of the safari experience they did they certainly did yeah but okay okay yeah I think

oh like one of those immortal jellyfish that's kind of a freebie what you know the the thing like the only immortal animal they've ever found this jellyfish that can just revert back to its like its its juvenile state and just goes again yeah and like they like the only way this ever dies is if it gets a disease or something. It doesn't ever die of old age. Oh, so it's like an old French bakery that uses the same yeast thing every day. Can I just say, actually, can we quickly... What the fuck are vampires talking about? What?

You know how vampires are always complaining about having to live forever? They're like, oh, the curse. Oh, lestat, I've seen everyone. And then it's like, well, honey, suicide has always been an option for you. Go in the sun, the easiest death ever. It happens automatically. Well, I have a lot of gamer friends that would say that it isn't the easiest thing, actually. I just never heard have a lot of and friends in the same sentence from you.

Oh, my God. I just never heard have a lot of and friends in the same sentence from you. Spin us another one, darling. You know what we haven't talked about? And I don't know if we should. No, we should. I was just going to say we did the gorgeous party for... Oh, yeah. We haven't told that story. But I kind of feel like it's hard to tell without getting around

the things we haven't revealed. Oh, true. It might not be good. Yeah, okay. I'll cut that. Yeah. Okay. But, yeah, like, if I was a vampire, it's like the second you get bored,

the second you get tired of eternity, or... Okay, here's the other thing. They know they're going to hell And in this world they know that hell exists So like they, if they live forever on earth And it's kind of tiresome They know it's better than the rest of their lives Which are going to be eternity and like damnation

Do evil creatures suffer in hell? Vampires certainly do They suffer in like a very nice Victorian mansion How do you think they're going to suffer in like a very nice victorian mansion yeah how do you think they're gonna feel in like a pit with like they know what's coming next so they have to preserve themselves as much as possible yeah okay okay actually what do you think is the most chic way pyre to die because they're all flamboyant i must say i think my preferred method is while asleep in a coffin and then stake through the heart yeah because you they will always wake up and then i think the thing about the stake through the heart thing is like it's not particularly exceptional to me like if you put a stake through anyone's heart, they're going to die.

Whereas I like the things that only afflict them. Like silver. Or like the sun. Like, that's quite like camp. It's like, except for Blade. He's a day walker. Blade. He's got it going on.

Are you excited for the Blade MCU movie? No. We could have guessed that one. I just need, okay, here's the it going on. Are you excited for the Blade MCU movie? No. I could have guessed that one. I just need... Okay, here's the thing. Yeah. No. The casting's great, though.

He's got the look. They've had... They've had... They've done this to me before. I just need this to stop. And then we can get back onto the right path. Okay. Which is...

What is that? Like, if you... What do you want? What do I want? the right path. Okay. Which is, what is that? Like if you, what do you want? What do I want? My dream world. Okay. We have 10 year embargo on any IP. All IP. All IP.

Yep. You're not allowed to make a film based on anything. We just put all the IP into a bunker. And then no reference to things that have come before just things that people want to make about now yeah then at the end of that 10 years right we all check in with each other and say how are you feeling what do you think of our new like people 10 years of content 10 years of content and we say we can extend it for 10 or we can bring out a few pieces yeah you know get things rolling again but i just think like yeah i don't think we need all of this yeah i don't think we need like you know

just like the chilling adventures of sabrina the teenage witch no just like what could we have had instead of that yeah that'd be nice yeah i agree um that reminds me that in oh my god is it a week away maybe a week or two or whatever very soon the avatar remake slash like live action version comes out and i'm cautiously optimistic the trailer came out a few weeks ago and i don't know i'm i'm cautiously optimistic yeah we'll see um because i've been consuming a lot of avatar content obviously airbender everyone dear listener i'm talking about fucking well will already rinsed you in that episode but um i've been watching so much content

about avatar just like being excited um i'm now getting like weird suggested videos on youtube and even worse like youtube shorts and i watched one this morning that was like the craziest earthbender technique of all time and it was this video about like no sources cited, but it was like an immortal earthbending technique where they like manipulate the metal in your body to then like live forever. And I was like, that's not on the show. That really isn't on the show.

Don't know about that. People make content for anything. I mean, that's the other thing the internet would need to be shut down in my version we just can't have that you don't want like a theory video about your new no more talking about things just watch them and then let them die in your brain you know what i mean you know i know all right sister won't you tell us, please, what fearsome, gruesome death will the planet Earth meet this week? Okay. You know those like century blooms that are like a flower that, you know, smells like rotted meat?

Oh, yes. And but once a year, once every like hundred years produces a flower. Yeah. So it's going to be that. It's going to be this flower that no one's ever seen before um and they're like wow and so much so that like it's become kind of like a little shop of horrors kind of situation where people have taken cuttings and started their own flower and then they all like the world is watching like kind of in like a low stakes like

morning tv kind of way where they're like well now we're going to cross live to the blooming of the century plant or whatever yeah and then the like thing opens up and it's like and it sends out this kind of like frequency from its petals vibrating super fast. Yeah. That explodes the blood vessels inside of every single living thing around its body. Yeah. Causing like, you know, like if you were looking at someone when it happened, you'd see the whites in their eyes go red.

Yep. And then blood would start leaking down from their mouth and their nose and their ears. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yep.

Death by a century. And is it so loud that it envelops the whole planet? Yeah, and they're stationed across the world because there's been some clippings taken. Oh, it's kind of propagation. Yeah, exactly. Wow. yeah and they're like stationed across the world because there's been some clippings taken propagation yeah exactly wow so like all of the like botanical gardens around the world has one and they've kind of all bloomed at one yeah yeah are they like is there a sentient moment are they aware of what they're doing or they're just living their lives well that's the thing it's kind of probably like an alien species that came to earth but like this is what they do as part of their like evolutionary tactic to take over the world

is that like they kill everything once they bloom and then they take over and kind of feast off the decomposing body or it goes into the earth and becomes nutrients that they can use yes did you what did you think of Prometheus? I don't think of Prometheus. Oh, really? No. Fair. Do you think, I'm cautious.

About the new Aliens series? Yeah. I like the director of that and I'm excited. And also I like that he's not using any of that Prometheus stuff. Yeah, that's kind of nice. He's like, I don't know, that's not interesting to me. Yeah. I'm stuff yeah that's kind of he's like i don't know that's not interesting to me yeah i'm like that's good yeah because it isn't well all right then perhaps it's time for a quick break we'll take a break and we'll be back to the world We interrupt this broadcast with a telecommunication

from the bunker. Please enjoy. This is Bunker, I Barely Know Her, a reject shop romance by Little Death to Everyone at fanfiction.net It was the end of the world, but more importantly, the end of a shift.

Surrounded by crates of Kellogg's crunchy nuts, Zapp's voodoo chips, and cartons of oat milk, Sabrina babysat sighs as she slowly peels off her reject shop apron. Another day, another. Her chain of thought stops dead, and her heart begins to pound at the sound of the back door opening slowly. She whips around to see a shadowy figure filling the doorway, backlit by the blinding white light of shop floor fluorescence.

Sabrina slowly blinks her bright brown muppet-like orbs into the light, trying her best not to sound spooked. Courtney, my love, is that you? As a high-heeled boot steps forward to kick aside a box of Halloween decoration, a soft voice emerges from the shadows. Courtney's already left on a shift at Wendy's, so we're all alone, and it's time for two to become one. The mystery woman steps into a pool of light flowing in from a small storeroom window reflected off the oceanarium. Blue light dances off tight-fitting leopard print up to a glorious curly mane. Hello, Sabrina.

The air catches in her throat. She stutters. Mel B! But I always thought you didn't know my name. Don't be frightened. I'm not as scary as I look. Mel B giggles softly and smiles. I've always known your name. I've just been too shy to talk to you. I brought you a strawberry thick shake to show you how much I care. So do you want to be my lover?

To be continued, a threat That was Bunker, I Barely Know Her, a Reject Shop Romance Brought to you by Chivas Children's Audiobooks You like that fanfiction, Silvermoon? Well, you know what? I love horror I thought your Sabrina baby slut was captivating oh yes

she had layers she did like a Zelda Moon layer yeah you really brought something to her role yeah yeah I mean this is what we asked for

this is what we indeed did ask for. And to that I say thank you, dear listener. And we obviously did have to translate it from its original Japanese. Of course, of course. It was transmitted to us in Japanese. Well, we hope you enjoyed that, and we will be seeing a few more of these pop up the more you send them in. So let's pray for one next week.

Goodbye, me loves. Goodbye. So let's pray for one next week Goodbye me loves Goodbye Welcome back listener Oh hello you Did you have a nice time off there? Did you have a little sip of a Milo? Milo Yes the dog Did you have a nice time off there? Did you have a little sip of a Milo? Milo. Yeah, it's the dog.

Okay, first topic for tonight, dear, is which of the big things? Which big thing? Australia. Australia. Australia is famous for one or two things. Both of them big. And that's because we don't have a lot going on for us here. Absolutely not. But we do have giant things.

There's a big banana. There's a big pineapple.'s a big pineapple A big Merino Yes A giant shrimp Shrimp The big strawberry The big apple

I remember the song When you visit Caloundra Which is where my nan is from And my mum was from Queensland But they would have an ad that goes The big pineapple for big fun Whoa The big pineapple for big fun. Whoa. The big pineapple for everyone.

And you'd go to the big pineapple. And it was at a pineapple farm. And inside the pineapple was a gift shop. Wow. Yeah. That's haunting. Yeah. But it wasn't that big.

The big banana is bigger. And the issue is that they're not all to scale with each other. No, they are independent entities. Yes. The big, it's like a crocodile with like boxing gloves on. That's like a big thing. Big mango. Yeah.

You know. So these are like tourist traps that were set up along Australian highways to try and get people to come in to wherever they were going. Yeah. Yeah. Australia has a long, a lot of distance. Yes. Like, so it's defined by these like big stretches of nothingness.

And so, yeah, there'd just be these kind of little popping upy little things that would be built. Yeah. There'd just be these kind of little popping up-y little things that would be built just by a pineapple farm that was trying to turn themselves into more of a destination. But it's such a canny move because the investment is relatively small. Yeah. Construct something like this. I just don't get why we don't do it more often. Matt, would you ever do a big microphone? For this studio?

Yeah Yeah, a big microphone That would be quite phallic and easy to Oh, alright I don't know what your phallus looks like No, I'm sure that lots of people would just stop and take a photo Just for the lols, you know what I mean? What else could it be?

A guitar? What else do you do here? A guitar, yeah. Big mouth? They're singing, I presume that's what you're doing. A big mouth studios? Yeah, a giant mouth Yeah Next to a giant microphone Yeah

That'd be great And you could use it for all sorts of innuendo In your photos Hmm No, I don't know, maybe a big Like Real, real tape machine That'd be cool

Oh, yeah Yeah, that would be cool Mixing desk Or just a really big speaker. Or a big egg. You know, one of those shaker eggs. And you could shake it. Well, you can't shake it.

It's big. Oh, it's on a spring. What? I could shake it. I'm also big. Okay. Okay. Big microphone stand.

I think the issue with the big banana Yeah Is that they've written the big banana on it Yuck That takes it Yuck It's so out of the running because of that It's so lame

And It's like I get it I can see it Yeah I don't need you to tell me it's a fucking big banana It's not It's not in like the The world of like

It's the sticker that's on the banana you get from the shop. That would be so good. That would be good. But it's not that. It's just like. Yeah. So sometimes, you know, we reflect on my time working in advertising. Yes.

Australia has so few like unifying cultural traits to cling on to that every time an Australian brand has to affix themselves to the Australian culture, there's only one or two things that they can clamber on to. Hot summer. Because in America, there are these like deeply held, like almost universal symbols and like, you know,

like the Statue of Liberty and like not that, you know, like and like the whole founding father bullshit and like all of just like Hollywood and New York and like all of these like big, you know, they've defined culture in the world for so long that it's like there's so much to draw upon to be like this is america yeah in australia it is like the third thing on that list is big things by a highway and so brands will always be like we've got the new big thing. So like what was it? Tinder. Tinder did the big rainbow for Pride.

And here's the campaign. They made a giant ugly rainbow. Emphasis. Pretty ugly. Huge though. And they're like, we're going to put this out for Cinemadegra and then we're going to get people from small regional towns because that's the

other part of like australian culture is that it's all it's defined by these like small regional towns yeah uh where people can um ask for the big rainbow to come to them. And then the town that gets the most love for the campaign gets to keep this giant, ugly fucking rainbow to prove that queer people live in small towns. Oh my God. What? What? No, thank you.

No, thank you. Take it away, please, Tinder. You get to keep the Tinder billboard. Thank you. What a luxury. Fuck. That's fucked. I am tantalized by the interior of these big things.

In my mind, they look like the inside of a Zeppelin. Well, it's like in The Simpsons when they go to the World's Fair. Yes. The sphere at the World's Fair. Yes. And they're like, it's just got wigs on there. And I kind of think that a lot of these interiors would just be like, yeah, fiberglass and asbestos and boxes of old banana T-shirts.

Yeah. But yeah, I'm very partial to the Big Pineapple because it has the theme song. The Big Pineapple for big fun. Whoa. And they'd put you on a little cart and drive you through the pineapple fields. And then you could sample some pineapple.

Yes. Yeah. What do you think? I don't like the big ram. I don't like it. I think that's so fucking lame. It's also, it's ugly. It's not well, it's not like, it's never going to be the sphinx.

The koala, at least, is like, like it's ugly but it's kind of like ugly taxidermy it's like it wasn't intended to look that fucked yeah it just has happened with tam um i mean i obviously uh want the shrimp because i like shrimp that shrimp is good let me see it show me that picture it's like got a good curve is good. Let me see it. Show me that picture. It's got a good curve. Describe what you're seeing. Okay. It's a big shrimp.

It's a large shrimp, but it has the little tentacles. It has all the little legs. And shrimp are quite hideous when you look at their finer details, of course. But like the beady little demon eyes and, yeah, but all of that detail is here. I appreciate that. They haven't simplified it. Where is the little shrimp?

Where is he hiding? Where is the big shrimp? It's in Ballina. Of course. Ballina. Stupid girl, it's in Ballina. Ballina. It's kind of near the airport up there,

so if you ever get in the plane to go to Byron Bay, I think most people get off there and just go, Byron. Byron. Yeah. Yeah, you know what? What's the theme song for that, though? The big shrimp is up in the air. What was the other one?

The big pineapple for big fun. Big shrimp for big in the air. What was the other one? The big pineapple for big fun. Big shrimp for big fun. We can't just rip off the big pineapple song. I need a tongue. That's the big shrimp song. No. What are you singing? Leave me alone.

Shrimp. Shrimp. Shrimp. Shrimp. By the road you got shrimp. Shrimp! Shrimp! Shrimp! Shrimp! By the road you got shrimp! Shrimp! We have a highway in Victoria. Congratulations.

And so many of the highways are cursed with contemporary artwork. I know what you're going to say. Yeah. And I find them fine. Most of them are ugly. You'd be horrified by how much they cost as well. Oh my God. Actually, you know, a friend of my brother's had an artwork

kind of like that on Bridge Road for like 10 years, which is really cool. But like, it's also such a weird world of like that genre of artist. Who's like, I'm like state governments love me. Yeah. But it's not like my art is not challenging enough to alienate public service. Yeah.

Oh my God. Um, but the best one is this fake motel that is on the side of one of the highways. I love that tiny fake motel. And it's like 10 stories tall, but it's this fake building. It has no parking lot. Different rooms light up at night. Yeah.

And it's like not – Motel? Motel. It's a hotel, but it's like a third the size. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's like a two, no, one and a half stories, like in actual height. Yes. But then it's like 10 stories.

So like it kind of tricks your eye a little bit as you're driving past it. And then you're like, wait, that's tiny. Yes. And it just says hotel on the top. That's it. And it's like super brutalist style, like cement building. It's really fucking cool. It's so good.

I would like a miniature version of that, like a mini version of that mini to sit in my front yard. Yes. Because that's so cool. It's so good. Do you know the one where you speak, Matt? Yeah, yeah. I've driven past that lots of times.

I think when I first saw it, I thought it was real as well. Well, yeah. I was like, how do people stay in there? Because it looked really strange. Like it's not normal size. So if anyone was sleeping in there, they'd probably only really be able to be like one bed per floor. It's so, it's great.

And the roof would be really low. Oh, yes. Like a little capsule hotel. Yeah, like a Japanese one. But that's great. If only it was big, then we could include it in this. Yeah, but it's not big. It's not.

What about the big coin purse on Burke Street? So, yeah, I really like that. It doesn't look enough like a coin purse for me. I'm like, it's a little lump. A little lumpy. That used to be when I would, like, go to the city to meet friends. That's where I'd always meet them. Meet at the coin purse.

Yeah. Yeah. My mother has, this isn't a big thing, but this is just a really sad, like, story from, like, my mom is, like. Oh, good. She had such, like, a little, like, she was such a, like oh good she had such like a little like she was such a like little gimpy kid um and like just so sweet and so lame that me and my sister would just be merciless because no matter what story she'd tell you from her childhood it would always be like this sad sad little kid with like you know big dreams but like just it would always go wrong it's just like

when i was young all i ever wanted to do you know in rockhampton which is a small like at that time pretty underdeveloped like at the time in the like 60s 70s um cattle town in uh queensland and she's like but then one day we got a fountain and it had rainbow lights in it. And I would get my parents to drive me and it would be an outing for the night. It would be to go and see the rainbow fountain in the center of town.

And it was so exciting. And I'm like, wow. And then she took me to the rainbow fountain when we were going through Rockhampton. And it's literally just a fountain with some lights in it it's just like wow rainbow fountain oh my god she would have loved tinder's rainbow yeah she'd have loved television or anything entertaining it probably would have been a bit overwhelming Yeah Jesus Yeah, it's just, oh my god, this sweet thing

Wow, yeah Okay I think I will concede the big pineapple for big fun And instead I will go in with you and say Shrimp, shrimp, shrimp, shrimp. Shrimp. Yeah. Yeah, the big shrimp.

I think the, yeah, the accuracy of the shrimp. Uh-huh. And I think the shrimp would have a good energy. Oh, you know what? Oh, my God, this has just come to my mind. Oprah has an office where she broadcasts her important things. I think those beaded little eyes on that shrimp, what a great location.

That's where Oprah's secret lair is. Yes. Inside the giant shrimp. And those big, bleep, beady eyes are... Are like little windows down onto the floor. Yes, and you can't see in but you can certainly see out yeah that's good that's hot that's really good okay so oprah's office has now been properly um actualized yes and is is where she does her pa announcements out of the

big shrimp yeah that's great that is great okay perfect love it big shrimp congratulations darling I don't know how we're gonna get you through the little hole but we'll figure it out peace by peace amazing all right Welcome back You're home You're home With us With us In your ears

Take a sip from your especially you sippy cup Mmm, it's a Stanley cup But the straw's at the bottom What? So you're like a little gerbil Why don't people drink like that yeah if they had that in cars so you could be driving along and it hung from like the yeah visor yes i'd be into that yeah i could just buy one i guess for a smaller animal

yeah yeah the hamster one yeah yeah and then you put your tongue on the ball bearing and it releases the water. Wow. I'd love to see you try. Okay. Our second topic for discussion tonight is, have you ever been to a theme park? I have. Yeah. Have you been on a ride?

I've been on a ride. Well, we're going to figure out which one's going in the bunker. Well, that's it. I think that the bunker needs to have a place where people can blow off steam. It's called the bait bus. When the bait buses are rocking and everyone has something else to do for the night. Well, that's called the gobble ghost. The gobble ghost.

Take a ride on the gobble ghost. Yes. So what is it? What is the ride? I think we can go all the way from county fair style up to specific Tower of Terror kind of zhuzh. Yeah. So I grew up in the Moynton Peninsula and in Rai and Rai had a carnival that would come every January for the month, pretty much. And even still, like every year I'm like, oh, I feel like I should go down and go. It's something about the night air being lit up by all those different colors.

Yes. There's just an atmosphere. Oh, the bogans and the... But right? Like, it is that. Yes. It's more than the ride itself. Oh, it's a whole experience.

But that certainly, like, was... I think that was 18 years of my life. Like, we would go to the carnival every year um do the boys go now your nephews you know what i'm not sure maybe it's time for uncle zelda to come and take them to the ride um but there was three rides there that i loved one was the pirate ship which was if you're familiar with the pirate ship i know her well yeah um so scary because it didn't have like i remember going on it and like nearly sliding off because those chairs were like unmolded and just like a slab of slippery. Like playground seating.

Yes. And there was no bars or anything. You just like sat in the rows. So when you're at the tip there. I'm going to die. Yeah. Love that one. Then I loved, is it the Matterhorn?

Is that the spinning one it was like one where it's like ice themed but it was like you're in things and you kind of just go around so like that was good but it was fast and kind of scary but the one that i really liked which i fucking can't remember the name of it's like the zipper or something but you're like in a cage in the in the thing and then that cage on its own axis can spin and then it's on a um like a rectangular thing that is spinning but because of that shape it's like you're sometimes spinning in your cage horizontally and vertically and like like you're spinning around this like it's like a spirograph yeah um so good yeah i can't do that spinning like my center of gravity is bad enough stabilized twirling like when we were at adelaide fringe yeah i went on one ride that had a vague

spin to it was one of those chairs like you're in a chain you're kind of long chain chair hanging off a circle that's spinning and going up and down yeah and that i felt so ill after that i just have no capacity i can go forward like i can do a roller coaster i can go backwards but it's just the spinning like takes me out i'm done ghost trains are too scary for me it's so scary like the real people that then yeah luna park me my friend alexander went through a ghost train and we were like huddled clinging to each other hiding our faces the whole time. Yeah. And they came out, we're like. I don't think I've ever been on a ghost train.

For Draculas. Draculas is the only one. There's a dinner theater restaurant in a, well, there was in Melbourne that you used to enter with like the shortest little ghost train. It was quite chic though. Yes. Because it's like you would go onto this little ghost train and go like i know three feet to the entrance but they got they you know would freak you out and that's how you'd enter the restaurant and then you'd be at dracula's for the cabaret oh it was so cute love that themed restaurants but i think what which what should go in the bunker so then there's like other things

like um well yeah so like i'm thinking like the universal studios has like the miscellaneous hogwarts rides and there's like the jurassic park ride which is good but i don't know we already have a water activity in the bunker we don't i accept it. I also just, I mean, like, I have a deep, deep fear of anything that puts, like, tracks underwater. Oh, yeah. Like, I really, it makes me feel so scared. When that thing happened at Wet n' Wild, not Wet n' Wild, Dream World, when the, like, the flume ride thing flipped

and, like, all those people got killed. It's just, that is my nightmare getting caught in gears underwater it's just there used to be a ride at wet and wild or no at sea world that was called the um bermuda triangle and they used to you go through the whole ride which was a wet ride and then like a tracked wet ride and then you'd go into like the inside of a volcano and there'd be water on the floor and your tracks were going through it and then an alien would like pop out of the water i'm like when i tell you not like i'm not like an alien i'm like the fact that when we go home and this place is done for the night and

the lights go off that alien with its plastic shitty face is like lying beneath a foot of water just staring at the ceiling waiting to be activated for a second it just it's so gross it's so scary i would just rather die yeah so i just no that's not happening so that when this is the same thing with the water on at the universal studios jurassic park yes because all those animatronics like rubbery and just sitting under the water waiting to spritz you with like a little bit of oh oh, it's awful. Yeah. It's so bad. This has reminded me of another story. So many years ago, I worked at H&M and I used to go around and like help open different stores, right?

And we did one store in queensland and blah blah blah it was like delayed and we had all these free days like me and this group of other like visual merchandisers um where we like had nothing to do because the store wasn't ready for us but we were there so we went to uh dream world or whatever which one whatever one yeah doesn't matter theme park and i dear listener don't drive i won't believe it i like i've learned how to drive i just have my license and i'm just like i don't know i just like never needed it so i don't have it and now it's been so long it's like one of those things that just makes me anxious. Like I'm scared I'm going to kill someone or like,

I don't know. I don't know why you'd be anxious about that. Oh my God. But we're, we're at this theme park all day. And the only ride left is this like kids, kids, like kind of dodgem car kind of thing. but it was like a little town and you like go

around like just driving around and i was there with two friends and they were like oh let's go to this one like might as well like what else are we doing i was like uh yeah like we yeah sure i'd actually love to do that driving game that would be so fun and we're like in the line and it is like all ages but it's clear like it's not dodging cars like it's just like cute driving um and we're in the line and i had a full anxiety attack oh my god like like had to like i couldn't breathe and like i was freaking about the prospect of driving a fake tiny little car correct and like i'm in line with like eight year olds who were like let's do this yeah um and then in the end we were like i did it and i like i kind of was like, this is so ridiculous. Like, if I can't overcome this, I'm never going to be able to get my fucking license.

Yeah. You were like, this is how we get our license. Yeah, right. I'll go to the vendor afterwards. And I went through. I went past the town hall. Talking to the eight-year-old next year. But then, when I actually was in the car and like we got going,

I remember being so like, oh, this is fun. And being like, if I was more daring, I would have been like waving to the drivers next to me, a little hoot hoot for you. Like it was so fun. But it was like one of the worst, It was so fun. It's like one of the worst like anxiety attacks I've ever had. That's really funny.

Like full meltdown. Like it was so fun. What were your friends doing? They were like, is this about this or something else? I was like, it's about this. I just don't know. but that is related right so growing up going to the carnival in rye there were dodging like actual like dodging cars or whatever and my brother is obsessed with cars and he used to always go go-karting when we went on holidays and i used to go horse riding because i'm gay cars i mean horses are just cars with legs

yeah but and eyelashes um you know your car can have eyelashes true but oh my god but i have this vivid memory of me in the at the carnival with the dodgem cars and i crashed i don't know on the left or right hand side whatever like not into people but just into the wall so many times that i smashed the like bumper into the wheel so i couldn't turn and then i'm in the car freaking out but not being able to control and then the carny comes over with a sledgehammer and he's like, while I'm in the car, he's like smashing it back out so that the turning circle of the wheel can move again. No,

I said out loud, maybe that's where my fear of driving came from. Yeah. I'm hearing like, like this is suddenly become therapy. We're like, cause in previous episodes, you're like,

I hate going over the bumps in the car it's really scary maybe the car is gonna come with a sledgehammer oh my god wow okay yeah so anyway we're not putting anything with wheels into the bunker good good wheels or underwater faces Underwater faces. Yes, yeah. Which, Matt, do you have a favourite ride? I was too scared to go on any rides when I was little. Yeah. So all my friends would go, oh, let's go to Luna Park for my birthday party, and I'd just go on and be like, I have a stomachache,

I can't go on anything. Oh, my God. So you were just a little, like, fraidy cat. Yeah, I was. I was a bit of a fraidy cat. Are you still a fraidy cat now? No, I'd go on rides now. But I don't think I've ever been to a theme park in a long time.

We don't have many options here. We have Luna Park. Yeah. And that's kind of. And Luna Park's more of, like, a time piece. Like, it's more of, like, an idea of a theme park than it actually is. It's not, like, sick rides. Yeah. And that's kind of. And Luna Park's more of like a time piece. Like it's more of like an idea of a theme park than it actually is. It's not like sick rides. Yeah.

It's just like some rides. I like those miniature railways. Oh, yeah. Like a little journey. Yeah. You just sit on it and just like look at stuff and you just like. Real thrill seeker. Yeah, I know.

It's just relaxing, you know? Oh yeah, that's why I'm going to the theme park. But I do think that. I don't know why people like, just like feeling as sick as possible. Well, I think that's why it's like spinning is bad. Cause I'm like, I just don't understand. Like I feel more sick than I feel through.

No, the dropping, I think for me, it's like the, it's like the ones that drop really quickly See, I've always been too scared to do something like that Because it's about the uncertainty of like I don't know when it's going to suddenly drop out the world from beneath you That's scary It feels like your stomach's going to pop out of your mouth Yeah

Yeah, that makes me sick Because that's what I like about roller coasters You can kind of see the path that lies ahead yeah and it's scary but at least you're like okay well i know after this this is gonna be over yeah i think roller coaster is so classic um a roller coaster kind of like you get to kind of like sightsee whilst having a thrill. Yeah. That's good. The wooden ones. Yeah. Scary.

Yeah. But obviously if we were doing a wooden one. Yeah. The look. Yeah. Very important. What about Ferris wheel? Ferris wheels are like.

I feel like Ferris wheels have been tainted by like Melbourne Star. Actually though, the Melbourne star is pretty good. Melbourne star no longer works, but Melbourne did have for a short while, its own version of the, like the London eye. And it was like much smaller,

but they were going to put it on the banks of the Yarra river. And then like the first summer after they'd spent millions of dollars yeah bringing it here getting it made blah blah it warped yeah in the heat of the victorian summer and it was completely unusable and then they moved it to the docklands the docklands to try and insight like get people to come to dockcklands where the Costco is and the docks are. Yeah. And then it just sat there, seldom used, with some of the LED lights that light each of its arms dying.

Yeah. I just, nothing has ever been like more Melbourne. That's so good. Oh, my God. And it's so iconic. Oh. The Melbourne Star Melbourne Star So is it closed now?

Yeah it doesn't They're packing it down They're getting rid of it Oh they are Which means we could get it for the bunker At half price I did go on it once And it's a good view I guess

But I went on one of those I can't remember what it's called, in Osaka. That was amazing. It's much bigger. But it is a great way to like, I don't know, see the city. I think I would like, I think it's like the most romantic ride for sure. So I think I like that thing of being on there with someone.

Yeah. And being like, get it to the top and be like. A little kiss on the cheek for you my love throppance for a kiss on the lips what is what is happening in this ride that's how i used to make my pocket money for the summer kissing older men the boys in town could come on the ferris wheel and have the ride of their life oh my god um um take me for a spin yeah take a run up oh i'm imagining you in like the teacup ride but like someone's i don't know oh i love that scene in uptown girls with britney murphy and dakota fanning where she's like all i want to do is ride the teacups because she's such a little

lady have you seen that film no oh there's like a little posh girl that this woman who's like a bit of a chaos bitch becomes like the nanny for and she's like really rude to her but she's the young dakota fanning yeah and then she is really alienated and bossy and her parents don't really spend any time with her and then she runs away and she goes to Coney Island and she gets on the teacup ride and then she the nanny finds her and sits down with her on the teacup ride and she's like doesn't say anything doesn't try and force her to come home they just ride the ride together and then they both spin the teacup as fast as they can and dakota fanning starts to cry because she's like the wind in her eyes like spinning herself so fast that she can finally let out the anguish of like not

feeling loved or seen as a child and like having this like weird duality is like an adult person who's been robbed of a childhood shut up dakota dakota okay yeah sounds great what i don't okay can i say what i don't like is those new disney rides that have like the the mapping where you're like in a cart that it doesn't have tracks and it just like drives around on like a preset route through like the ratatouille floor or like the star wars return of the jedi thing but it is actually moving yeah yeah because i don't like the ones where you like go into the and i'm going in the spaceship and like the chairs move but like just the screen is the experience i don't really like but i do like the the rides at probably bigger theme parks where like the line is an experience

yes that is that's kind of cool the staging for me is like really the thrill like i i want to enjoy the whole experience of waiting in line and like the anticipation of finally getting on and like that whole thing i think that's like the best part yeah if there was a theme park of just lines i'd go there yes yeah um okay but what do we think we need for the bunker for the bunker oh well did you also see that camp meme of the, like, you know, the spinning one that spins so fast that you get stuck in the middle? Like, it's just spinning. Yeah. And like everyone's strapped to the edge.

Yeah. You get strapped at the circumference and pinned to the wall by the... Centrifuge for humans. Yeah. And then there's like the nun, like from the film The Nun. What? And she's dancing in the middle. Oh my God, no. Oh my God, it was huge. nun like from the film the nun what and she's dancing in the middle oh my god no oh my god it

was huge it was so big that like on day of the dead when we were in um mexico yeah down in oaxaca there was like a little kid dressed up as like the spinning ride with dressed up as the nun in the middle oh my god and like from the film the nun in the makeup and she like is dancing and like crumping up and became like a celebrity in South America. That's amazing. Because she was like, there's the nun that dances in the middle of the centrifuge. Wow.

Could you really quickly just remind us of what the streetcar was playing in Mexico? No, boy. Hermana. Excellent. Thank you. Okay. Excellent, thank you Okay I think

I mean, a rollercoaster Now I'm seeing the sights I like a themed rollercoaster Because at the Luna Park they just have the scenic railway I'm like, hmm Whereas I like, even the Superman Returns Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah It's quite chic

Yeah Because it's like, well, now I'm Superman. Or like Lethal Weapon back in the day. Yeah, right. It's vaguely themed. But a haunted... Or Wild West. The Wild Wild West.

Warner Brothers movie world. Where you go through the volcano and the fire goes off. Oh, and the Scooby-Doo spooky coaster. Oh, shit. I don't remember these. Oh, my God. Movie world. There was the scooby-doo spooky coaster oh shit i don't remember these oh my god movie world there's the spooky do scooby-doo spooky coaster and then two axes oh that would like come in front of you and you'd be like no yeah that's quite good that is good but what do you think yeah about a haunted mansion

i do like a haunted mansion no that's good And the tower chair Like Ghost Train Oh not the Haunted Mansion Well I'm just realising that if it's like We're doing theme park rides But Haunted Mansion is more of an experience So like Is it?

That's the same Theme park event The Haunted There's a ride called the Haunted Mansion In Disney Oh Yeah Which is like what the film is based off Theme park event. There's a ride called the Haunted Mansion in Disney. Oh. Yeah. Which is like what the film is based off.

And the new film is going to be based off. Oh, right. Yeah. With like Madame Leota, the old lady that is the crystal ball psychic. And do you sit in a little cart and get shipped around? I don't know. Or do you walk through? No, it's like a cart ride.

Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like you go past it and there's all these like, what do you call it? Pepper's ghost effects and stuff. Well, a decision must be made. Okay. I think my feeling, my gut instinct is telling me that while a roller coaster is good, I think nothing has sparked our joy quite like the three-foot Dracula's dinner theater restaurant ghost train.

Oh, true. True. And I think to be truthful and fair, that does feel manageable. Yes. Infrastructurally, it feels fine. Yep. And I wonder if that's what we could do. And you know what?

When people climb down the ladder to enter the bunker, they could get on the ghost train to then be brought through to the big room. Yep. And who's jumping out and googly spooking people? Yes. Okay. So opportunity to put someone in to do such a thing or we can give someone a job. Yeah.

Googly spook. Who's a googly spook in the bunker? Carrie Fisher's bones. We definitely bring Carrie Fisher's bones. And then I think maybe the bait bus gremlin. Gremlin. And gobble ghost. Gobble ghost is ready for it.

Okay. So we've got the ghost, the gremlin, and Carrie Fisher's bones. We've got a skeleton, a gremlin, and a ghost. And yetta's bones as well we have. And yetta's bones. Okay, great. That's pretty good. Okay.

I'm spooked. And Oprah's going, whoa, turn back. You can't see what's coming. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Okay. And that really sets up the Halloween theme that we have going, too.

Yeah. That's good. That is good stuff. Good work. Okay. All right, sister, let's have a break. And we're back. Now, for the final topic of tonight, we will be discussing which Kmart item belongs in the bunker.

Now, Kmart is different in Australia than it is in America, so just a little heads up. But Kmart is a singular facet of the Australian retail experience because it has such good brand forecasting that they do an incredible job at bringing out items that actually feel like they're vaguely on trend or they feel like they're putting things that are like, this is quite nice for something that's meant to be the lowest cost. And they have their own home brand called Enco.

Enco. And so the Enco brand is just a coverall for everything that the brand produces. And they've done a very good job in recent years of stepping out of just being like a default bare basics to being like well maybe instead of a plain you know clear glass for your tableware you'd like an amber glass yes yeah with a sculpt edge yeah exactly yeah yeah um i suppose ethically do we need to talk about how morally bankrupt this kind of bullshit is or just well here's the thing everybody understands there's a duality to it because yes it's like number one it it does make super low cost items so it's like well where is that

why is it cheap and it's because it's being produced by people who are like presumably being underpaid and well yeah exploited in some way deeply exploited in factories in china so it's like there's that side of the knife but it's like do higher cost items not have that same issue yeah where are they being manufactured are they paying their workers correctly yeah but then also it's like what what things do we allow poor people to have access to or people that don't have the means yeah so it's like do we let people with no money all have things that are you know the the barest basics plain jane like nothing yeah you know and so there is something there is a virtue to like creating things that are nice if you're going to be creating bare basic things yeah that at least kind of look or feel pleasant and nice and homey to have in your home yes

so there's that yeah it's complicated it's complicated but it does promote a kind of consumerism that isn't really healthy for the world when the quality is low and it's a uh trended item and all that stuff. And guaranteed to break. Yes. However, you know what? This is the world we live in. And you know what?

This is why that plant is going to end the world. We've already made our commentary about that. They may offer you fortune or fame. Lots of money, an instant acclaim. But whatever they offer you, don't feed the plant okay i i think yeah my i don't own this object but i was told about it recently and then on an even more recent trip i saw it anko sell a specific kitchen appliance just for making two-minute noodles. I haven't investigated it any further than that.

I know that it is yellow in color and it looked to be quite cute, but there were a group of mean-looking 15-year-old girls near it the other day and I was too scared to get any closer, so I can't comment on its details but that kind of shit's kind of cool i hope like a popcorn machine or like a whatever well you know how i feel about appliances yeah terrible we're wasting all our bench space yeah yeah yeah yeah

i'm worried i'm worried but that is very like kmart right this like weird thing that people will buy because it's yeah like it's 12 that'd be crazy not to buy this thing and then you use it once or twice or whatever um but that's kind of cool do you know i was um quite cynical about our generation or the new generation um you know in the the sunset lamps you've seen this oh yes and i was thinking i don't know i'm not that impressed it's light i see it every day and um and then then um my boyfriend who is of the younger generation was like well we've got to get a sunset lamp for the office when we're doing his office we were setting it up and i was like okay we'll chuck it in the basket and it was you know 15 from anchor the sunset lamp which imagine a stemmed lamp that at the top of the lamp has like a clear glass orb

and then there's an led light that shines through that orb, casting a very confined radius of light that has got a defined circle edge. Because LED can go RGB, and it kind of warps the colors as well. So if you do orange, it's like an orange-pink halo around the light. Anyway, you've seen this before. If someone's putting out like

a shitty single that they produced in their own house yeah they've like lit up the side of their house and they're sitting in half in and half out of that light correct yeah yeah but i must say when that first night rolled around after we just set up his office and we put on that sunset light, which was $15, mind you. Yeah. Mama, I was enchanted. It was so beautiful. Yeah.

I think of all the things, like LED strips around the roof of your house. Yeah. Not it. Not at all. That is like a worry. Yeah. However, this, stunning. Yeah, right. Ugh. Miami. a worry yeah however this stunning yeah right oh miami in my lounge room exactly more achievable than you thought hello travel agent cancel my flights i'm already here in paradise

so that's good yeah i really like that and And I really like, what other Enco things do I like? I like the mini Beauty Blender sponges. Oh, yeah. Those disgusting little things. Some of their press on nails are quite good, but they're not long enough. No, not for us. Not for us. Cross dresses.

Actually, that's another crossy thing. Yeah. The Enco bodysuit. Oh, yes. Which is like a drag staple. Yeah, it's like 15 bucks and it just like does what it needs to do. Yeah, it's like a Skims bodysuit. Drag queens are too disgusting to like, you'd be defiling an expensive one.

Like, why would you do it? And I assume it would be made out of the same shit. Like, truly. Yeah. It's just a control top pantyhose that goes all the way up. That's right. I love and use every day at work the particular Anko pastel highlight line. I, you know, I see offensive things all the time.

Pen highlight. Why am I going to commit more offensive things to the paper I'm working on? Fluorescent orange? Yes. No, thank you. But I do still need to highlight important terms, and I'll do that with a pastel. What important terms are you highlighting?

I have a very important job. President of the United States of America. Of planet Earth, that's right. Pastel highlighters. Yeah, they're lovely. Well, listen. Oh, actually, the polymer clay that you can get from Kmart at the moment comes in a big block.

I shouldn't tell you this, like the people, this, because now it's usually sold out. I mean, it was sold out around Christmas, and I was like, do you know how many gifts I have to make? But... And the girl just was like, can I help you with anything else? Where is it? Yeah.

But yeah, the polymer clay is real good. And it's like eight bucks and you get a giant block of it. It does have the issue of, I think with high-end polymer clays, once you bake them down and paint them, they can go really dry. Whereas with this polymer clay, if you paint acrylic onto it, it feels sticky, like it's not cured. Yeah, right. Which is annoying.

Yeah, but you know. But you pay for what you get. Yeah. So that's good. I made little resin kits now, which is really fucked, though, because people should be wearing respirators when they do resin pours. True. Oh, like crafter resin.

Yeah, for like kids' kits. It's really fucked. They want to make like a, I'm going to make this sheet of denim into a tabletop kind of thing. Oh, not like this. You do some things. you are pleasantly surprised. Other things betray you almost instantaneously. Like I've bought like cork boards and stuff from Anko.

They are so shit. Yeah. Like put a few pins in and then all of the cork has fallen off. It's just so shit. Well, you know what? As well, the other ANCO thing that is a pleasant surprise is the steamer. The hand steamer is really good. Oh, really?

Well, someone was telling me recently that there's caught on fire. But I'm like, well, you get what you pay for. And aren't you glad that it was cheap for the first few months of use? Yeah, exactly. God, that's depressing. Oh, my God. Yeah, okay. But what's the best?

There's so many things on offer. I think, yeah, it's like this. Matt, do you have any deluxe products from Anko line at Kmart? I'm sure there are lots around the studio right now. Yeah. I can't think of many, though. I think I have one of those hand steamers. Oh, yeah.

The flamethrower. The flamethrower. It's a two-in-one. It's pretty good. Yeah, it does a good job. Yeah. And I bought some little touch lamps. Oh.

A little lamp and you just touch the base and it goes. I understand the concept of a touch lamp. Thank you, Matthew. Well, I was just telling you where you touch it. Touch it on the bottom. Have you told many people that? I tell everyone. It's the first thing I tell them.

Oh, my God. When they come in. Touch it on the bottom. You have to touch it on the bottom to turn it on. Is that why gay guys are your only client, Matt? Yeah, they get the wrong idea, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah. From the website.

What ever happened to clap lamps? Clappers. It's kind of like the old school Alexa For podcasters But that's the thing that Alexa hasn't done If Alexa worked with clapping Then that was like Google

You know, Carrie Bickmore Then I'd love that Maybe that's the new language in the bunker. Clapping. Clapping. A series of complicated claps. Yeah. Okay.

What's the best? Okay, so I think, practically speaking, like, do we need a good control penny? Like, I think that that's got to be. We've done underwear darling I know but If you wanted that in But

Holy Rio falling apart hot undies Is what went in Listen So Okay then what about the sunset lamp? Or what about the pastel highlighters? Pastel highlighters I do Maybe it does need to be the pastel highlighters. Pastel highlighters. Maybe it does need to be the pastel highlighters.

The other thing that I think about, it's not very fun. I'm trying to be entertaining here. But the Anko. You are? I'm trying. I said trying. The Anko USB charger thing, that's really good. It's like $8 and you always

need one of those. You're talking about a charging base. Yeah. You plug it in the wall and then you put your USB cord inside. I don't know what the fuck happened to the world where they you buy a piece of electronic and it won't have a wall plug. It'll just have a USB.

You can sort this out. Right. Where's the rest yeah where's the fucking rest bitch yeah like oh i meant to just have this next to my computer that by the way doesn't have a usb yeah oh i hate that i actually because i did a lot of that like air air humid not air air diffusers yes we'd bought a bunch for a gig and so i turned all these air diffusers into like these little clay sculptures that looked like they were smoking because the diffused air would come out of their mouths and they were like little gremlin women smoking sea yeast of course um but those bases they didn't come with like usb they just came usb without any way to plug it in i'm like so then you went

to kmart and bought the no i just i just gifted them to people without oh it's their problem yes they're well hopefully they'll listen to this podcast and then be like oh i could go to kmart to get that flashback you know how i said that like i i don't have a mortar and pestle yes and have like been subtly and not so subtly hinting that i need one for years this christmas rolls around yeah not a single person did that and it's like i think i'd scared everyone else because everyone was like well i know what he's getting this christmas yeah no one can you believe that i'm like someone called rip, believe it or not. I'm so over it.

I'm going to kill myself. I'm sorry. I'm alive, myself. Okay. Okay. I don't know what should be. Oh, fine. Fine. The pastel highlighters?

The pastel highlighters are getting in. Yes. Fine, fine The pastel highlighters The pastel highlighters are getting in Yes, we need some organization happening in the bunker And they'll assist They're really good Okay, they better be Yeah Okay, good Everyone out there, I can guarantee It's not a purchase you'll regret

Regret? I don't know if I said it right You're going to regret that. I will. I already do. Obviously. Oh, my God. Okay.

Okay. So, this week, the big thing is getting in. Oprah's new office, the giant shrimp. That's right. Regrettable highlighters from Anchor. And then the ghost train from Dracula's Cabaret Restaurant. Yes. Which is the new way to's Cabaret Restaurant. Yes. Which is the new way to get into the bunker.

Yeah. Once you get to the bottom of the ladder, then you go on a little trip. And there's two skeletons in there, a gremlin and a ghost. That's right. Yeah. That's great. What a great week. Okay.

Amazing work. Perfect. And with that, we'll see you next time. See you in hell. Goodbye. Bye. with that, we'll see you next time. See you in hell! Goodbye! Bye! If you have something to tell us or a bit of fan fiction, send it to death2everyonepod at gmail.com. Or if you'd like to support us, throw us a coin for a USB charger perhaps, patreon.com slash death2everyone. Okay, bye-bye.