Death To Everyone - Death To... Lexicon, Blood On The Clocktower & Lego

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Hellloooooo It is us, your celestial goddesses back for more shenanigans as we discuss which elements of our society get into our doomsday bunker, post apocalypse. A dear listener asked us "which of our classic phrases might get into the bunker?" and so we replied. We also talk about a game which we played recently "Blood on the Clocktower" and decided to include one of the roles in the game! How wonderful. Lastly we talk about one the most important technologies of our time; Lego. Which of those tiny, tiny bricks will be saved? Enjoy Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

Dasha Listener How are you? The Fister listener? Fister listener. We have at least one. Yeah, at least one. Come on, Fister Lister.

Mister, Reveal yourself. Mr. Lister. Welcome to death to everyone. This is a podcast. Yeah. And that's how you know it's a podcast because you can hear it with your ears, but not with your eyes.

Well, it depends on... What's the space? What do you think about video podcast? podcast, fakers. Are you asking that to me or the listener? Oh, both. Ah, well... Wait, let the listener speak.

I assume you said fakers. Yeah. Or if you said, we love that. We love that too then. Yeah, whatever you say, we love that. Yeah. I don't know. We've...

Spoiler alert. Talked about it. Well, that's it. I imagine when we have time, that mythical, far-off. off place when we have time. Yeah. If you're...

Yeah, maybe this... I don't know. Maybe this time. We talked about, yeah. Anyway. My name's Zelda Moon. Hi, I'm lazy Susan. Hey.

And recording us from the front car, front of car. Front of car. Front of space car, driving us through the celestial void. As two celestial goddesses, we have producer Matt. Producer Matt. Hello. Hi. Hey.

How are you, producer, Matt? Oh, God. God, I got a frog in my throat. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I ate too many frogs this morning. Ah, yes. Okay.

Come on, dad jokes. How was your child? She's good. And you know what? News, we're having another baby. Oh, my God. Announced live on the pod. Does your wife know yet?

She doesn't know. I'm going to break the news to me. But my husband did. That's a new show. Congratulations. Congratulations, Mazel Tov. Well, you guys knew, but I have been keeping it under wraps until 2026. Amazing.

Well, I'm so excited for you too. Yeah. Two children under one roof, the ideal amount of children for replacement of the human race. Yes, any more, and you'll be outnumbered by them. That's right. Yeah, I figured we don't really need any more. Oh, no. Well, wait until you see what the personality of the second one is.

And you must, like, always travel them separately so that, you know, if, something happens to one, you'll still have one kid. Like, to carry on the line. Yes, yes. I don't want to think about that. But yes. Blood. It's scary.

Morality. But yeah, what I'm saying is family vacation, you're driving in Queensland. One kid has to drive on the bus. Oh, okay. So if there's like a car crash, you still have one kid. Okay. Yeah, and I feel like one for each of us, you know. Oh, exactly.

That's it We're never going to be outnumbered Yeah We're never going to have to They're never going to be able to gang up on us Because we'll be able to fight one each It's kind of this common thought That like there's no such

There's no way of being a parent And not fucking up your child I wonder like Matt Do you think you've already fucked up your kid Or like do you know Yeah yeah yeah She's already going to therapy Yeah good good

I just wonder when you know Like or if it's just an immediate thing There's a particular event where you're like, oh, shit, that'll be around forever. Yeah. When they start blaming you. Yeah. That's when you know. Yeah.

Have you blamed your parents for anything yet? Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, yeah. Blame? Blame? You know that they're responsible for some of your weird shit. Yeah, but I think I'd blame myself before I blame them.

And that's their fault. I see. Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Like, for instance, the other day, Curgeon, husband Curgeon, was like, why do you always need to grab just a fresh towel instead of grabbing an old towel that

you just had that like, you know, like you've hung on the back of your door? Yeah. Because we'll have like, you know, 10 towels in play. Like, well, and he'll be like, stop, just have one. Then like when it comes time, like, you know, to clean that towel. Yeah. You put that in the washing bin. and then get the next one.

Yes. No. What do you do? Why do what I was raised to do, which is grab a towel, any towel. New towel? Wherever you can find the nearest towel? So you would like use Kergent's tails as well? Oh yeah.

Just any towel. Yeah. But what if you wipe your face with the, I guess it doesn't really matter. It's all been, you've all been everywhere. But what I'm saying is I can easily find the link to blame that on my dad. Ah, yes. Yeah. Hmm.

But wait. I like, we'll have a towel that I'll use for like a couple days. Yeah. And then put it in the wash, then get the next towel. Yeah. You don't do that? That's a good system. Hmm.

So complex. I'm a crazy girl. Do you know if you looked inside my brain? You'd be like, she's crazy. She's crazy, actually. Lots of crazy girl. What's you thinking about right now? But, you know, some people stab people to death with the compass and, you know, the pointy end of a

That's true. I've never done that. So like my, in comparison, this towel thing, not a big issue. That's true. Like, live and let live. There was a... Sorry to Cajun, he's the only victim of this situation. And when he chooses to stab me to death with the pointy end of a compass,

we'll know it was justified. But for the rest of you, but get off my back. Get off my back. There was a kid when I was in, it wasn't in my classroom, It was in like my year level because there was maybe like three classrooms of like year threes, three-fours or whatever. In one of the other classrooms there was a kid who fired a staples at the teacher. Wait, from just a regular domestic stapler? Well, not like the crocodile one, but you know the one that kind of has like the handle and you're like pressed down before like the palm?

Like that one. Like a teacher might use it to put presses on the wall or something. Which even when you do that, it doesn't, like, shoot it out. It kind of just like, pooh. Yeah. But he was suspended. For doing that? Yeah, in the general direction of the teacher.

Ugh. And they just fall to the ground in front of him. He was suspended. Because that's not on. That's intent. Yeah. Even if you fire a weapon and you didn't know that was bullets in it or whatever. Mrs. Gregson didn't deserve that.

No. No, she already had that awful name. She's been through enough. Um, correct. Greg son. Gregson? Son of Greg. Yeah.

Son of Greg. Yeah. Hmm. Well, that's good. That is good. And what? What did your parents do to fuck you up, listener? Tell us at SpeakPipe.

We now have the speak hole where you can put all your thoughts. Yeah. I want to hear about people's lives. People always ask us questions. We don't get to hear what the people are talking back to. I mean, like to clarify, I don't want to hear about. your life. You go into the gym and eating overnight oats is not of interest to me. Thank you, Greg. Greg, son. Or your son. However, if you do have an insight into how your parents fucked you up,

and in what ways it's come through in funny little ways, not deep, disturbing ways, although that could be funny too. But just let us know on the speakhole. And how do they send us a speakhole? Why, it's speakpipe.com. That's to everyone. Do you not Google Speakhole. Bad images come up. Nah, they're Googlers. Wait, I haven't even Googled that. I should.

What is going on? What's going on? What's going on? In our lives? Yeah. Well. Oh my God, can I tell you something? Yeah.

So we spoke at length, ad nauseum, about stranger things. Oh, yeah. Yes, last week. Yeah. And the, the, kind of moral of that story is like I hadn't watched that season, that show for three years, like three seasons. Yeah. Uh, you hadn't watched that even the ending by that point.

No, but I have now. Yeah. But I got completely, the day after that thing, I got completely absorbed into conformity gate the TikTok fan theories about the secret ninth episode. Oh my God. And it was so, I spent a day like tinfoil hatting around my house, feeling, oh my God. come and then on the day when it was meant to come out the seventh um

because like I was like oh my god it's almost eight o'clock in LA we're going to know soon um and like because okay so to to catch you up listener at home there is a theory going on or there was or there still is

that the Duffer brothers the creators of Stranger Things had in secret created a ninth episode episode of Stranger Things that was like like would kind of just like you know the version you saw like the vision you saw in the eighth episode was like what this kind of mind control demon man wanted you to see fechner and like that was like him like lulling all these little you know 80s kids into like a false sense of security and that when he and that there was all these like like little clues and hints along the way that like that that we were in a fake reality and that on the ninth episode they would be like, by the way, it was fake the whole time. And these are all these like things revealed.

And then everyone's like, you know, they just uploaded this thing on their TikTok that said seven and one. And on the seven one, the seventh day of the first month, we're going to see the new episode. And they said it was going to be a dark Christmas. And that's when the Russian Christmas is. like, da-da-da-da-da. And I was like, wow, this is going to happen. And I still, like, and when Cochin got home, he was like, why are you like suddenly so

into stranger things? And I was like, I don't think I'm into stranger things. I think I'm excited about like a gimmick novelty thing. Like the idea of doing a secret episode and having it come out after everyone's been like, that was shit and then it being like good. Yeah. For any show, it would be, like, such a gag. And, like, where there's, like, all this kind of, like, ooh, there was a secret treasure map there the whole time.

That's fun. And so I got really excited that something fun was happening in the culture that wasn't, like, depressing. I was like, ooh. Yeah. And then it just was not true. And what's fabulous about that? Stranger Things has found a way to disappoint us all yet again. I know.

God, those boys, they must be so upset. Whatever. They're rolling in a pit of money. Money doesn't make you happy, Zelda. Did you not see Spice World the movie? They had all the money in the world, but no time to spend on that fabulous bus. Yeah. Okay, well, that's complex.

Yeah. I'm glad there's not more of it. Imagine if there was even more. I would, like, be so, like, ooh. Like, do you remember the few? feeling when Beyonce released her first surprise album. Yes, I wasn't expecting.

That question. And she was in Brunswick. Yeah. Yeah, that was like, what age are we living in? Yeah, that was. Magical things can just happen. Yeah. Things are just gifted to us as a culture.

I want that again. And even if it's a something like a property is kind of me as stranger things. Like, I'm like, come on. Yeah. So I suppose you were pretty excited by the trailer with Magneto, Xavier, and Scott then. It's kind of the same thing. I'd never thought I'd see them again, and then they were back. The original actors.

Yeah. Oh, God, let them die. They looked so old. They are old. I think Ian McKellen's, like, nearly 90. Yeah. And a faggot. Just, like, just withering away.

in the trailer. Yeah, but that's so good. He's still fabulous. Yeah. Ooh. Wait, so they're back for what? Doomsday. We're going into Doomsday.

Yeah. I was listening to Matt Bellany of the Hollywood Reporter or whatever. Yeah. Talking about their predictions for 226. And they were like, what do you think? Do you think the plot? Like, what do you think is happening with that? Oh.

and the guy, the other pundit on the show, the rap, the town, the town, was like, oh no, that is going to flop. That is going to be the first big come to Jesus, like under a billion dollar flopper. And then he was like, are you kidding? This is going to go fucking bug nuts no matter what. It's everything. I think it won't flop. I don't know that it will, like, it won't flop commercially. it might flop in terms of like expectations, hype and like being the story that people want.

Yeah. Because I think to recapture that like endgame moment is really like kind of impossible maybe. But I think the fact that Robynne Jr. and what's his face? Ian McCallin. Well, yes. Pedro Pascal. No. Cal good up.

No. Chris Pratt. No, not Chris Pratt. Jesus Christ. Why can't I think of his name? Chris Pine. No, Captain America. Chris Evans.

Jesus Christ. With Robert Downey Jr. And Chris Evans back, the movie will make a lot, a lot of money. Because that is what has been missing in the era of all the flops. But like, even as an outsider, I was hearing a lot, a lot about Avengers end game. and I feel like maybe something's changed in my life in my life but I haven't heard as much buzz

in the streets about the excitement for this new thing maybe it's just you're talking about it less yeah well it's also a year away like it's only just fine but even then I feel like Avengers Endgame was like we're gonna talk about this but again it was the first time

whereas this is the second time. Right, which is kind of the thing about the buzz. Yeah, yeah. There's less of it. So I would like agree, totally. But I think now that, because in the original cast announcement, Robert Downey Jr. was the only like, oh, he's back.

It's, uh, uh, uh. But now Chris Evans is back and we've started to see bits and pieces. I think, yeah, over the next. Isn't that to press? I'm not for like, I mean, Oh, no, it is. I mean, it's depresso for R.D.J. Yeah.

And Chris Evans, because Chris, I mean, okay, let me think about this. Chris Evans went and did that naves out and was the villain in that cozy sweater. And then I feel like he kind of flopper-rellaed. Did you see that three-way movie? Materialist. Sure. I didn't. But I almost watched it on a plane once.

Yeah. And that's kind of like watching it, I think. It looked like that would have been fun. I don't know. I mean, it did well. Yeah. But I just don't know that he... But like, you know what I mean?

He hasn't lit the world on fire and I'm like, I feel like you're coming off the biggest film. Like, what do you do? And it's the same with Robert Downey Jr. Because I think that like when he was staging his comeback and did that fabulous kiss kiss bang bang that I love so much. I was like, oh my God, we get Robert Downey Jr. like doing cool stuff again.

and he's back baby and then he got sucked into Marvel and then like I was like oh well the second he gets a time to himself he'll come out of it and do something fun again and then he when it did Dr. Doolittle

and I was like actually go back that's fine like if you don't have any better ideas for what to do with you and then he was in that Christopher Nolan film and I was like this is fine but like I feel like you're stuck like the settings have been set

like the wind changed and Robert Downey Jr. is now or it's just like a kind of like just win dialogue kind of samami yeah yeah I love to improv on set I'm like yeah but you have the same three jokes over and over again well buckle up because they'll return in Avengers Doomsday

would have been nothing without Gwyneth she might be back do you think why not they've got money to give her and that's what she wants she does want money the only one that is definitely not coming back is Scarjo. Oh, really? Yeah.

She sued Disney. Yeah, but I feel like they would want to make nice. Oh, she died, didn't she? Yeah. That one. Oh, but I mean, so did many of those other characters. I don't think that Disney is going to be, like, I think that they would. They care more about making money than, yeah.

Yeah, that's true. That's true. Yeah. And also, yeah, like, they, yeah. Yeah. But it will be, I mean, I'm so excited to see all my favorite original X-Men back. so I just can't wait. But we'll see.

Didn't that happen in days of future past? Yeah. Deva, we've done it. No, no, no. I fucking hated that like Gen 2, X-Men film franchise, including that one, even though Famkeh was in it.

They're so awful. Think Famkev would be back? She hasn't been announced. I think like it's weird because they did that like massive, massive cast announcement, which the whole point was to be like, get excited because this is the cast. And then, yes, they've added

like Chris Evans now. But he's, yeah, but there's still some question marks. I'm like, well, why isn't Brie Larson in it? Why isn't? Yeah, like the rest of the X-Men cast. Like even, like, not that I want to see Hallie Berry back, but yeah, it'll just be interesting to see, like, is that,

finalized or will there be more? Because we now have, it suggests that there could be more. Well, if there's a green screen somewhere, they can put anyone in that film. Yeah. Yeah. They're just making it up as they go along.

That's why. They're just like, oh, that's our story telling works. We've locked them in. And now this is happening. And now it's June's day. It's not the end game. It's doomsday.

Maybe January Jones will be back as Emma Frost. Maybe there'll be a tie-in with Marvel rivals. Maybe. Wouldn't that be fun? Yes, it would. That would make it all worthwhile for you. There could be a new additional pack that you could purchase. Okay, well, they're not really called packs, but thank you for trying.

A little package. A little wardrobe change. Ah, I was getting closer. They're not $60. How much are they? I actually don't know. You've never paid? Yeah.

Looking in the eyes, I don't tell me you've never paid for anything on Marvel rival. No, I have. What have you paid for? Skins. My country little outfits. What skins have you paid for? Oh, I paid for rogue's Savage Land skin. All of her clothes have been ripped off.

How much was that? I don't know. I've never done the... How much was that? I know it was like 2,400 lattice, but I've never done the translation to know. No, don't look it up. I don't need to...

I mean, no, I don't need to know. What's the conversion rate at the moment? But you also, like, build up, as you play, you unlock, like, free currency. So you only have to, you can either save up your free currency or you can just pay with, like, the conversion. So, $35. Jesus Christ. Good thing I've only bought that one. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I have probably spent an amount of money on that. game. But I've spent money on every game I've ever played because you have to buy them. One time? Yeah, but Marvel Rives is free. That's how they get you. You're like, well, if I didn't actually pay to get the game, so I can just... I can spend $60 on an outfit. Yeah. But then in two weeks, they release a new outfit where instead of being green and yellow, it's pink and green. So then you have to buy that one. And then in three months time, oh, and now she's dressed as a cupcake. And you have to buy that one. Well, it really is the

Doomsday. So we get into it. Let's get into it. Who's destroying the word? It's me. It's me. Come and see us. Do our Wicked Live Screening

for Wicked Part 2 for Good at Acme. There are two screenings available. On Thursday, the 22nd of January and Friday the 23rd of January. We'd love. to have you there. It's going to be a bish-bosh-bash time. We're dressing as witches. Yes. We're screaming at the audience. Yes. We're laughing with the audience. Yes. We're singing with the

audience. And best of all, you'll be there. Oh, you'd better be. Crying with the audience? Yeah. Yeah, we'll cry. Although I didn't cry as much in two as I didn't one. Yes, I still haven't seen it. You haven't seen it? No, and I have to so I can like, you know, get my rhythm on with the songs. I need to. Because I'm less first on second, like part two. I've seen the show, but... Yeah. Like, I'm like, what song is... Oh, she's an evil witch.

Oh, watch out for that girl. And I'm like, oh, I don't remember that one. Do you know about the two new songs? Yes. Glinda gets a new song. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah.

Is that the name of it? It's full good. Oh, yeah, maybe. Good for her. And then what's the other one? Elphabas one. One, is it the road one? We've been on the run,

Running in the sun Handing down a 101 If the cast of the OC came back in Wicked for Good Like The X-Men in Doomsday Yeah That would be good

That would be good Even though Marissa died They're like, no, she's back And she's Professor Morrible Yeah She might have sued WB or whatever But we don't care if she's back Yeah

What was that Dreamboat's name? Chase Chess, Chad Whom? The main guy? Ryan. Ryan.

What was the character's name? Ryan. Oh, um. No, but that's also not even who I'm thinking of. Chad Michael Murray. Oh, he was in one tree hill. Okay. And Gilmore Girls.

He was in Gilmore Girl? Yeah, he was the first love interest for Rory. What's Chad Michael Murray doing now? I think we could get him for our web series? Squats? Yeah. Hmm. Chad Michael.

Okay, you end the world. So, Guess what, baby? You thought the black plague was bad. Now we got the beige plague coming aboard the space rats. Come. So a small asteroid lands upon Earth. No one really notices. It lands somewhere in the vast Arctic tundra of somewhere in Russia. But inside is a small thing. Like it becomes affectionately known as the space rat. But upon the space rat is a space flea. which probably has some fabulous scientific name. But when the space flea bites it's his human victim,

it becomes like an awful deadly flu that then spreads. But there's no natural immunity because the spacefly came from another planet. And so it wipes out 98.7% of the human population. It's very specific. Yeah. And the remainder goal. on for about 200 to 300 years, but due to issues of inbreeding and the collapse of the food agricultural systems and then just general, like because like after all these people

die and the countries that did have nuclear reactors didn't necessarily secure their nuclear reactors like before everyone was wiped out by the flu. so a lot of those nuclear reactors went into meltdown producing huge large scale kind of nuclear winter that just kind of compile people did survive but then they died and that is the story of the space rats cool thank you

and the space fleas what color of the fleas? They're kind of like a topaz color oh and are they of regular like earth flea size A little bit bigger, but only like... So like 10 cent piece, some kind of kind of sound? No, no, no, no. Five cents.

Like, they're still a bug. Still small, small. Small, small. Like, it's like they can live on the fur of a space rat, which is a slightly bigger than a regular rat, but not crazy. Not crazy. This is real sci-fi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's not like purple or blue or something. It's like a weird, like, maroony brownie color, the space rat. The space rat, yeah. And if you... you were looking at a space rat and a earth rat. You'd notice it was alien, but like not in a way that it's blue or pink or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, it's really in deep brownish. Is it, um, is it more menacing or does it have, you know, like more like, is there

hair more coarse, perhaps? Yeah, thick hair, but not crazy thick. What about the tail? How long is the tail compared to it? Uh, it's a bit like nubia. Nubia? Yeah. Okay, yeah.

Yeah. But still fall a day. Yeah, like, it's not insane. Yeah, okay, yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know, you'd be like, wow, that's crazy, but, like, I didn't think an alien would look so boring. Like, you'd be kind of, like, with so many things in the world. Yeah.

When, like, someone describes it, you're like, oh, came here on asteroid, that's so cool. And you're like, yeah, but it was, like, technically kept alive in these certain kinds of ways. Yeah. Like, it's actually, the details are kind of boring. And when you see the thing itself, you're like, oh, it's a bit plain. Yeah.

Like, I thought an alien would be cool. It's not a Marvel movie. No, exactly. No. No. Although it is a dooms day. It is the end game. End game.

Day space rats. Doom a day. Yeah. Okay. Well, I like that. Mm-hmm. And now... Oh, no.

Chad Michael is in a film called the Merry Gentleman, a hallmark-looking... Yeah. I thought you would actually quite enjoy that. A woman's holding a pamphlet for a male dance review. And don't you love how it's photoshopped in? I think that's great. The Merry Gentleman. What do you think the Merry Gentleman is about?

I think I, okay, I think that she... They called it a film, that's generous. Ends up going to a strip show. Yeah. And is... Enamered with Chad Michael Murray,

stripping, but is very dismissive of like, well, that's fun for them, but I'm going back home. now to, you know, do my linens. Yeah. But then something happens. Maybe they're like bump into each other in the car park or something.

Or like maybe she's like reversing and like bumps into his like SUV. Oh, now he's going to sue her. Yeah. And then she gets out all flustered and mad. And then when she sees that it's him, she's like, oh, ha, ha. Or doubles down and it's like, you buffoon, blah, blah, blah. And then he's really sincere and kind. And then it's like, well, you need.

to give me your number for the insurance, and then they go on a coffee date. And that's the film? No, that's like first act. Well, to save her parents' small town performing venue, a former big city dancer, decides to stage an all-male review, a Christmas-themed review, which sounds great. I'm going to watch that. What about my version? Would you watch that?

Yeah, I'd watch that as well. That also sounds great. I like this description of Broadway dancer Ashley Davis has rarely been back to her hometown in 12 years since landing apart in the Christmas themed show, Jingle Bells. But Bells are like young Bales. After a misstep on stage, Jodie, the choreographer, tells her she has been replaced by a young dancer to keep it fresh.

This is the WikiBio which has, like, so much information. in the final paragraph in the bio, which is so too long. On the way, in heavy traffic, a song on the radio reminds Ashley of Luke, so she comes back. Entering the show, just as Luke forgets his dance steps, he sees her, then finishes the routine successfully. At their extended family Christmas dinner, Ashley hands over the full 30,000 to Denise. The end. Can we put giving 30,000? $1,000 to Denise in the bunker.

Yes. I imagine it's important. Yeah, we're putting that in. I just love how many of the characters have names. Yes. You know, they're not necessarily important for you to know, but they're like, could have been like, to her sister or to her mother. But instead it's Denise.

And then she's fired by Jodie, the choreographer. Jesus Christ. We'll be right back. Bye. Hello, welcome back to the show. Hi, it's time to listen to more speak-haul, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

So thanks for speaking. Into that hall. And now we'll listen to it. Hello, Celestial Goddessens and Space Car Driver Matt. Long-time listener, first-time speak piper. Definitely know my way around a pipe. Meth habit. Not meth, though.

I was inspired by a previous listeners speak pipe about lexicon And I just wanted to share some of my faves that I picked up Get real Actually Obviously Sorry Sorry on my faves and I was wondering if that could be something that goes into the bunker. But,

you know, you do you. Uh, it's fine. Uh, yeah, I'll keep listening regardless. It's fine. Goodbye. Huh. Oh. Oh. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. Mm. Mm. Mm. And then they sent through another one like one, like one minute later. Sorry, I panicked and I didn't say goodbye. Uh, or say, I'm done talking. I'm done talking. Goodbye. Thank you. M-m-a.

M-ma. That's my one. Yeah, Matt, they stole yours. M-A. Um, we've really cultivated a little listenership of little bitches. Yeah, God. Yeah. I can hear the come seeping out of your asshole right now, you're fake.

Jesus. Too graphic? It's in the second segment. All the real ones are still here. The rest are dropped off. With the mention of the space rat being not too exciting. Well, I like that quite a bit. I do think we now need to decide which one of those things is getting in the bunker.

That's a great category. Matt, can you play back? I just want to hear them again. I need to really get a sense. Sure. And I'll say yes or no after each one. Jesus. Uh, get real, actually, obviously.

Sorry. Sorry. Talk it. Oh. That's the oldest one. Uh, hello. Hello. Come.

As. I mean, I think it's funny because he doesn't land come particularly well. Sorry, listener. Like, but then really oversell his ass. So that balances out quite nicely. Say how, what's the come? Come. Come?

Come. I don't know. Does I would have said come earlier this episode? Yeah. How did I say it? Space rats come to Earth. Come! Come!

Yeah, no, that is pretty funny. There's nothing special about it. You just say it every time the word come comes on. We've been in pre-production for this web series, which Watch the space. I know I say that every week. I think you've got to call it the show. Yeah, web series is so pathetic.

I know. You were talking about this the other way. I think just call it the show. The show. We've been in pre-production for this show, this television show that we're making. Yeah. I'm going to watch it on my television.

Majority of viewers now use majority of their time on the televisions to watch YouTube. Yeah. And that's a fact. So TV shows are now just YouTube. Papadetetia? Yeah.

She's on TV. Yes. Sophia Bindir? She's... She's... She's... She's... Anyway.

So, what the fuck was I saying? In pre-production of the show. Oh, yeah. And we have these fabulous women who are doing everything for the show. And then us in the centre just being useless.

Screaming. God! But, like, yeah, because we've got these fabulous like, you know, our producers and a gorgeous co-director. And we were all and like our composer and that sort of stuff along with Matt.

And Matt. And Matt. But Matt's used to it. But like I felt like suddenly so aware of like the gals will be like so that person's coming on and we're like, coming. And you can just see something like the light dying in there. I say like, I don't know that I can do this show where like it is it.

Okay. So you spend more time. with them without me than I spend with them without you. But I feel like when we are together with them, it all gets dialed up quite a bit because there are just so many times we're on calls or like doing something altogether

and you and I will do our regular thing of just making a joke out of every sentence that comes out of everyone's mouth. And I indeed see them all glaze over and be like, okay, so this is five seconds out of the... Yeah, okay, now we can keep going. Well, you're like, describe, like, I'm wearing this skirt because I want people to see my big fat. Yes.

And I'm like, cool, so we just need to look in the costumes. Well, I've got my cunty little, you know, crochet top, which I bought because of this reason. Yeah, I wanted to evoke this. Cool, so we've got the top. And I'll be absolutely covered in calm. Yeah. But that's good. I just feel like, yeah, it's not the same process as perhaps working with.

real professionals and one day if there's ever like a HR department they might be like so my boss just kept saying I'm absolutely covering calm and um

she's kept saying ass my big fat ass it made me really uncomfortable yeah what this character needs bigger knockers well see I have big milky natural

yeah of course it's important to my character So anyway Which of those phrases gets into the bunker? I mean, I'm, which one always gets a turtle out of me? I know, obviously. Yeah. Chocolate.

Chocolate. I do that just every time I say the word now. And I correct people when they say it normally. Can I get hot chocolate? Yeah. Sorry? That's a sherry. Ellen Barnes original.

Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. Um. Um, what else is there? Eh. When Zelda just says, Oh.

That's when you know something's gone right. Oh. You fight for that response. Wow. Excuse me. Excuse me? What about? Sorry?

Oh, no. I have to hold. We can circle back to some of my, because I have a story about that from yesterday. I'm just... Do you know what one is another Cheryl and Barnes one that you didn't list, listener,

so it's not in contention. But, um, talking all American. Oh. Which is when Cheryl and Barnes is talking about it years earlier. And now she's like, she's gone to America,

now she's talking all American. Um, we probably say that five times day. Yeah. Yeah. Um, it was really bad though. When the Holy Trinity is together and it's,

uh, uh, the benign and I, like, there would be like a stem of the week and it would just become like, and also because benign kind of, there are people that just speak in like iconic phrases. Yes. And benign is a thousand percent one of those people. So she really is responsible for so many little ticks. So much so, yes.

Like, um, oh my God. The Tubbs hand gesture. Tubbs hand gesture. Which is where you roll all your fingers around in a circle and pull them into a fist. And then. Yeah. We have to have her back on. Okay.

Which one? I mean, ass. Ass is pretty good. Matt, of those. We've already got ass in the bunker. It's true. It's a love language. It's the love language of the bunker.

True. Matt, what do you think of those? Which one do you say? Sorry? Sorry? Sorry? Just because I think of Zelda every time. I hear that.

Someone say that. Yeah. Otherwise, maybe, no, that one takes the cake, I think. Okay. It's pretty good. I'm not mad at. Sorry.

What should we do? Sorry? Sorry? Yeah. Okay. Has to be in that voice, though. Sorry. There's a lot of different ways of

saying it. Like, they can kind of communicate different things. Like, sorry? Sorry? Sorry? Sorry? Yeah. Sorry? Excuse me? Um, that's good. The official, um, the official, imagine if you use that to apologize to someone. Sorry? Hey, you broke two of my fingers. Oh, sorry? Hey, I caught you in bed with my partner. Sorry Hey, you've just decapitated my uncle Sorry

Yeah, that's pretty good Yeah, you can either say with more question or less question Yeah Um Sorry Sorry? Sorry? Sorry

Still a question every time you say it It has to be a question every time Yeah, it is a question I like it Why would I apologise? It's not a real apology. It's more of it, sorry? Why are you asking me that?

Do you know what I picked up while I was doing Fountain Lakes Christmas? Yeah. There's a line in that, which I was like, where did this line come from, Thomas Jasper's? And it's this line of, oh, fine, make me the bitch of the piece. Which I was like, what does that mean? And where did it come from? And he's like, uh, it's like a, it's a phrase. Like it's, it's, you know, it has con like a, it does exist.

But it's like saying like in the piece, this piece of like the art, like the play. Oh, you're making me out to be the bitch of the piece. Which I think is so funny. And he's like, also in my family, we adopted a version of this, which is, oh, go on. Treat me like the asshole of the family. What do you think is so funny? You're treating me like I'm Uncle Greg. Like every family has one asshole and you're treating me like I'm it.

Yeah. So funny. Trade me like the bitch of the piece? And who was the bitch of the piece? That was, what's the name from Big Girls' Blouse? No, I mean on the cast. Oh, the real bitch of the piece of the piece. the piece?

Yeah. As in like not the sassy bitch, as in like the little worker bitch. The real evil one. No. Oh. Like the beach. What? Like the, um.

Zelda, what are you talking about? Oh my God. No one understands what you're saying. Matt, do you understand what you're saying? I haven't been listening for a while. Yeah. Sorry. Who was the beach of the piece?

The bitch. Like the bitch. Yeah. The Gimp? Yes. The work dog. Yes. Scott.

Scott Brennan. Excellent. The incredible Scott Brennan. One of the most talented working actresses. Also the bitch of the piece. But definitely the bitch of the piece. Poor Scott. I love that.

Yeah. Okay. Well, sorry. Sorry. Is in the bunker. The official apology. Goodbye. Welcome to the show.

It's to every one. Welcome back, listener. It's us again. Hello. The show. I don't know where you're expecting. You're listening to this. It hasn't magically changed into a different show.

But imagine if it did. Okay. Now, I've got a slight pivot. And what do you think about this? Jeremy pivot. Which class? from the game Blood on the Clock Tower

gets into the bunker Oh, that's a good one. So, yesterday we were guests and participants in a friend of ours, Gay Tom. Your dungeon master.

For that, yes. Orchestrated a group of gays and a few straight people to play Blood on the Clock Tower, which is a werewolf secret Hitler adjacent game. What?

Sorry, just a funny combination of words altogether. Oh, yeah. It's like mafia. It's like traitors as well. Ah, yes, yes. There's an evil in our midst. Yes. And so we all played two rounds of this fabulous game.

We're at the start. Everyone is randomly, like, selects a coin, and they are assigned a role to play in the game. And there was about 15 people, and there's a horde of villages who are good, and some have specific powers. And then there is a smaller horde of evil characters, minions, and a demon in the form of an imp. And if the good team managed to figure out and execute the imp, then they win. But if the imp kills all the goodies, then indeed evil has won. And, you know, like, this is definitely worth stating at the top of this.

Do you know in the, like, world of games, like, you'll start with something like Weirwolf, which is like, one of you as a traitor and every night someone will get killed and it's your job to deduce who is killing people off based on little clues and accusations and way people react to different pieces of information. And inevitably, in geek culture, if you say that to someone, they're like, oh no, yeah, but I've played blank, blank, blank. Yeah. Which is like some annoyingly more esoteric version of that thing that makes it

infinitely harder and has 10,000 times the amount of rules. Yes. I think that Blood and the Cocktow is kind of recognized as like the really stupidly complicated version of one of these games. Because in those games, you're either a villager or a secret Hitler or a werewolf or whatever. In this game, there's like, you can be the one. washerwoman in town. Yeah.

The washerwoman has the one special ability that she knows who is potentially another good person. Yeah. Then you can be the, like, you could be the baron who can do this or you can be this character who might appear evil, but it's actually good. Yeah. And there's just like, there's a lot. And it's like each one works.

You can be a drunk, which means you don't actually know what your role is. and like blah blah blah and it just becomes like 10,000 layers of complication that you then have to like put into your brain as like oh well perhaps if they're sitting next to the fortune teller that they'll tell you whether the person is good or not but they also might be drunk or being poisoned in the night which means that they won't know and blah blah blah so it's just like okay yeah thank god this place had a bar um but the it's actually really fun I think it's like even it can be fun as long as there's a few people who know how to play the game. And then a few people who kind of just can be like, oh, yeah, that's crazy. I vote for you to die then. And so, yeah, everyone gets unique character. Some people are evil. Some people are good.

Some people are evil with special abilities to make the good people more confused, which, honey, I don't need help. But the first thing we noted when we arrived at wheat, wine and whiskey is a very rare occurrence in both of our lives, which is we arrived and there were only men, only gay men, well, only gay seeming men. And they were all like gym fit men who like play games together. Yeah. And I was like suddenly aware of like, you know those photos of guys on the beach?

Yes. All that tops off. Yeah. And they're like all fit and together. Yeah. How did this happen? Yeah. It turns out when they're not doing that, they sometimes play this sort of thing.

Yeah. Who would have known? Yeah. I thought that you only exist in that form. Yeah. Or smiling before at pre-drinks. But then my sister showed up, late, of course. And she was there just as, and they were like, who's that lady?

Yeah. And my sister was like chaos agenting around. And then like halfway through the game, they realized that she was playing the game as well. And they're like, sorry, I thought you were just sitting there. It was the point with that. they all actually clocked that she was an active participant in the game was very funny. Yeah, and they're like, but we should absolutely kill her straight away. She seems so suspicious.

I was like, to be honest, she probably doesn't know what's happening. And she's probably just seeming evil because she constantly cackles. But that's just her. Leave her alone. Yeah, and that's quite charming, actually. In our circles anyway. Yeah. But when they did kill her, she's like, I just want you all to know, this is gendered.

as the only woman here yeah you hate me yeah you've taken me out for seemingly no reason yeah now I want to tell you something

really really really really haunting that I've just found yeah I found a version of all the classes except there are

like 10,000 more no than what we played with yesterday look at this list no Zelda stop it

look at that There must be like a bigger version of this game. Well, that's it. Because when I played, there was a different villain. And you played Blood on the Clock Tower? Yeah. Oh, interesting. Yeah.

Okay, well, we're talking about the one that we played, listener. So just relax about all the other ones. Matt, does any of this make sense to you? No. Perfect. I haven't played this game. But you want to now, right? I mean, I've played Mafia before, whatever.

Yeah. Werewolf or whatever. Are you good at lying? Oh, yeah, of course. course. No. Okay, we'll go through the, have you got this kind of picture, Latsl? You send it to me.

Okay, I sent to you. It's not. And this will be valuable for our listener at home. Yeah. They'll love to hear us talk about these things. What, do you want us to talk about Uno instead? Get real. I also think that there is a classic thing where, like, when certain people interact with games that

require logic. Yeah. There are people that, like, immediately kind of key in and see the maths of the logic. And, like, okay, so the way that I play this game is, this is what this person can do, this is what this person can do. This is where I would potentially, like, using logic be oriented. Yeah. And then the game also, just as part of, like, branding it, selling it and kind of making it fun,

will add, like, law over the top. Yeah. So, like, where you could play this game and be like, okay, so we have the in-team and out team. you are player one player one has these abilities of course they don't do that they add like a skin over the top that says like you're in the town of Ravenswood Bluff

and you are a village folk and you have seen this thing and so then there's like someone is the washerwoman and the librarian and there are types of players that we'll see through that and just go straight to the logic and then they'll be like okay well that's great I'm the washerwoman whatever

and then there are people like us that are like I'm the washerwoman And how? What did you? Because I did. Okay. So the first few rounds, I was very that, like, in a socially appropriate way. But I'd be like, so what do you think of what happened last night?

Did you not do that as well? No, I'd played the game before. Oh. I could see the writing on the clock tower. I really was like. It appears there's been a murder in the village. I was like, what did you think about? the disemowed body on the...

Are you not so traumatized? Yeah. Hands shaking. But when I, in the very first... No, yeah, the very first or second round of the first game, Mikey, um, came up and he was like, well, you know, I'm just a, um, I'm out there harvesting in the fields. It's like, oh, and what do you harvest?

Wheat, wine, whiskey. Um, and he's like, oh, blah, blah, blah. And I don't think that was the point of the game. Oh, he's just... No, we were just role-playing. Oh, let's see that. He was telling me about toiling in the field. And I think that that's part of the fun.

And if there was no logic in it, I'd be more... More good at the game. Yeah. Just role-playing. I'm sorry, but I can't keep track of all of that. We should go lopping. I only want to go lopping if I can work at, like, some sort of stand. And serve me.

But we should. That's what I mean. Like, Zelda and Lazy. Old Tadavon. Yeah. Zoda and Lazy's snake oil. Yeah. And we can be there and just sell merch to nerds.

Do you think that... Wait, we should do that. You're trying to make money out of this? Yeah, we'll make it. Snake oil, honey. We charge a premium. Yeah, and it's just like... And then we can sell stuff to nerds.

Yeah. We could make potion. I'm actually serious. We should do this. If you have any connections to the LARPing community, do you think that they would reject us? we would have to like I've got a need

There's a good one each year They do over Cup weekend What's it called What is it? I like want to go Ever since Prozac went to that rent fair A pink wig

People were like That fibre couldn't have existed back then Oh no I wouldn't be doing that We're lapping We're lapping Yeah for real No colours that don't belong Uh uh uh

I think for yellow It was a little bit easier to come by Yeah purple too expensive Yeah Purple get real Get real. That's not happening. What do you think about that discourse currently happening with fucking old mate, weathering heights?

Weather costuming. Yeah, where they're like, this is a period accurate. So we have that issue, we have the Odyssey. It's all happening. But you're a real stickler for it, and I don't care. We're crazy that way. I hate period drama that's not accurate. Like, that was my whole issue with Bridgeton.

It's like, well, where the fuck you get? getting a fade. And I stand by that. I would like to count out that if they have a better idea, like, I think if it's like garish and different and exciting and they're like, wow, like this is really jarring and it's very intentional. Like go for your lap. It's a fiction.

I think the thing that gets me sometimes with that. And I, yeah, because I see the point, but here's what I think. a movie like The Cell, which I love starring Jennifer Lopez, has the most incredible Atlanticish costumes. And it's in the setting of both like in and out of the like sci-fi parts. So that film is about like entering each other's minds. It's a form of therapy or whatever. And obviously when you're in someone's mind, there's no restrictions on reality.

So everything is weird and very like year 2000. version of like, there's like creepy things on the walls and like, do, do, so in that world, it makes sense that the costumes are completely crazy and lavish because it's in the imagination. But even in the real world of that, it's very 2000 sci-fi where these like cool robot suit, I mean, like rubber suits and stuff. Yeah. But that's also in like the high-tech lab building that's a bit futuristic looking and stuff. But then also Jailo's like rocking a tank top when she's lounging around at home thinking

about the serial killer. In Frankenstein, or Wuthering Heights, all the Odyssey, the settings are all the same. Yeah. Like, it's not like

the, like, palace or whatever has weird, modern light fixtures. Yeah. So why is she wearing a weird modern fabric? Yeah, yeah.

Like, the styling is the only thing that gets modernized, and that, doesn't sit with the settings. Yeah. So to me, it looks incohesive and like a fucking mess. But do you think if you knew more about architecture, you would notice the times than which, like,

those things are out of place? Do you have any examples of? Like, you know, they're like, oh, that archa trade wouldn't have been around for another 500 years. Oh, like the accuracy. Well, but I mean, no, but I would notice if there were like... Raybans. Yeah.

Or, no, like Venetian blinds or something. Like in the power. Oh, yes. You know, like, or... A rumma. Yeah, or like a lava lamp on the shelf. Which? It's like, and they don't do that.

Yeah, yeah. So, like, they're trying to maintain that piece always. Or, like, in The Odyssey, it's not like they're going to be wearing crocs. Yeah. Or, you know, like, yeah, I just think that why is the costuming and the styling, the thing that is always twisted to be, like, cunty fashion? Yeah. I don't know.

It hits kind of Cruella for me. It's, like, fashion for the sake of it. Well, that you might have me on side. Yeah. Like. But I think that is the thing that happens with a lot of, I mean, I don't know, I don't know enough about the kind of set design element about how many liberties they take. But I assume that it's a similar thing perhaps, but like doesn't have as much to do with the talent. And the talent has a kind of, is like knowing, like, even just from the kind of money side of things, like if you have Margot Robbie in.

your film. Like, Marga Robby is part of how the film is being sold. Yes. And so Margo Roby kind of becomes the product. And, like, there's certain things that are... And, like, I don't think this is what's happening in Wuthering Heights. But there are certain things that are important to how the public perceives Margot Robbie. Yeah.

The way that Margo Robby's hair looks is a lot of how the public goes to buy a ticket to see Margot Robbie. Yeah. And I think like, that's why it's also such a dramatic thing when an actress of that kind of ilk shaves her hair because it's like, you've changed the branding. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So I think, like, it does tend to happen a lot more on those things.

And also the costumes are a lot more the focus of the, like with Bridgeton. Like, I don't think that the like horny gays and middle-aged ladies that are watching that show are like, oh, I. look at that like balustrade or something but they are like really focused on what are they wearing yeah like so it becomes the focus and therefore it becomes like a point of like ooh and also the shows tend to like i don't know if they can use existing locations it's a bit easier but i think like with the worthering heights example as distinct from something that that's like very clearly trying to like hit the nail on the head i think it's like the whole thing

is like acknowledging that it's a fiction. And like in that case, like, because like you think about historical accuracy and like the historical record, like a lot of the times the further back you go, the historical record becomes like something a bit diabolically inaccurate that's informed by among other things. Like, you know, the way that we find out this information,

who was writing it down, what has managed to survive, and then the kind of lens at the time in which it was being recorded, which is oftentimes like a colonialist or racist lens. So like going on to the like, well, whenever you see that white marble statue in any of these kind of Roman flicks, that just is not accurate, they were all painted to look obscenely, like, garishly, brightly colored, but that's not in keeping with the kind of, you know, historical classist kind of view of like, the fabulous pale marble. So like once you kind of have that fact in hand

Maybe it's like well fuck it none of it matters We yeah we decide what history looks like And we put our own weird lens on it But I think it changes like I feel like I'm more mad about it When the film itself is taking itself seriously And it's like look at how important this historical event is Yeah And then they fuck up like really big details

Versus when it's like campy or like not like, like, you know, like, this is a fiction. You know it's a fiction. You're going and sitting in a room. None of these people were like alive there. No of these things were lit like this. Like, I just think the cohesion of aesthetics is what gets missed sometimes for that for me. Which is why I don't like it. Which I think if that's like not being done intentionally, where it's like I, like, I mean, we definitely spoke about this last time, but I love that like Sophia Coppola, Marie Antoinette is so like, Sophia Coppler is like, no, no, no. The point is that it's a complete schism. Like, you're hearing, like, contemporary music over this insane, like, quote-unquote period piece. And you're seeing her pull a converse shoe off the shelf. Yeah.

Because it's like, this is not real. Yeah. This is fake. Or even, like, I don't think that, like, I think it's, like, I don't think that what I'm saying is, like, if you want to do costumes like what they're doing in Wuthering Heights, you should change the time period and do a full like 90s Romeo and Juliet

but I think that that version of Romeo and Juliet works really really well because it's so cohesive Oh the Baz one Yeah Yeah like it It all sits in the same world Yeah It's just a retelling of the story

In a different time and place and blah blah blah blah How did he make that work? God damn it's Yeah it is like It's so good Yeah And just so saturated and Yeah. Yeah.

Because I mean, also, side note, the costumes that I've seen, like that one I sent you this morning, I fucking love. Yeah. Completely. Like, and the costumes that, um, what's her face is wearing in Frankenstein, um, me, it is me. Goff, isn't it? Goff? Is it? Yes.

Yeah. Like, those are beautiful. But she's the only one wearing outlandish costumes. And they don't sit in the world. Yeah. So I hate it. But I don't hate the costume. I just hate them in that placement.

You're going to love portrait of a lady on fire. Oh, God. They just have really period accurate moments. I'll set myself on fire. I think that we've talked enough about these classes, and we both agree that the Scarlet Woman is what should go in. I think Wash a Woman. Are you fucking doing me?

Wash a woman versus Scarlet Woman. Okay, so Scarlet Woman's ability is that she is a minion who doesn't turn into a demon until the demon dies. Yeah, and then she takes its place. Yeah, which is quite chic. It is. And the washerwoman... Washer woman!

Her ability, other than keeping things nice and clean, is knowing that one or two of a particular player are a particular town's folk. So, like, at the side of the game, it's like, those two people, one of them is a knight, or one of them is a blah, blah. Like one of them's a goody. Yeah, she's a bit of a gossip, so she knows what's going on in town. Yeah. Okay. I mean, I can't deny. Washwoman's quite fabulous.

I just love how, like, not only is she fabulous, she also had no powers. Yeah. Just a washerwoman. Yeah. I got to play washerwoman in the second round. And I was the first to die. And, you know, and it changes almost nothing when the washerwoman dies. Well, that's the other piece that we haven't yet spoke to on this game. When you die, you're still there. You're still hanging about. As a spooky ghost.

Yeah. And then you get one vote from beyond the grave. Yeah, a ghostly vote. As to who to kill? In the first... In the first round, Kergin and I were killed one after the other, and then we formed the Ghost Alliance, where we cooked up a theory that was wrong.

And very dangerous. Could have ruined the game. Yeah. But... He could have ruined the game. More level heads. Prevailed. Yeah.

Thank God. Okay. I'm a Wash a woman Wash a woman Listener if you're curious to the other 75 classes You can look them up

But we've really given you the highlights Wash a woman, you're in We love you forever We'll be right back Hello We're back That's the washerwoman Wash a woman, eh?

Okay It's time to discuss Which Lego brick Goes into the bunker Oh This one has been such a long long time coming listener. I know you have a deep relationship with these small plastic bricks,

which are produced in the Netherlands. Netherlands, maybe. Lego. I love Lego. I don't buy it or use it anymore, but I love that it exists. I, like, I went into the Lego store in Tasmania recently in Hobart because it was New Year's Day and there wasn't much to do in the town of Hobart. But we walked past and were enchanted.

and when I was in there like Lego is obviously become quite an empire Microsoft Apple Lego Different technologies Yeah And I'm like

Very turned off by All the bullshit Like the Like the Just the sheer amount of franchise branding stuff that's happening Lego movie Lego movie's fine

I can stay You didn't get the Stranger Things Lego set? The Stranger Things Lego set. Yeah. The Office Lego set. Yeah. Friends Lego set. Yeah.

The Harry Potter Lego sets. The Botanical Lego set? No, that's cool. No, that's fucking gross. They're so ugly. Those, like, random, like, this is how you could also use Lego. And when they're like, this is a blossom tree, but we're using the frog piece. That I love.

That's amazing. That's very cool. But, like, I also am like, well, how do you sustain a company this big without finding ways of getting like you know what I'm like I think that they still manage to cut a fine balance between like it's not like they're just putting out Star Wars Lego now and they've just

nixed all the kind of other stuff they still put out sets that are just about creativity and like fun and I also think like if you get your kid at you know Hogwarts Express or whatever they can build it and then take it apart and turn it into whatever other new thing they want to do and that's like the fabulous thing

it's like there a few branded toys that you can actually completely destroy and then remake it to something that isn't branded at all at all. Yeah, make it into literally anything you like. And like there's enough, there's no way of... Just a regular magical train. Yeah, there's no way of them stopping you. And that's great. Yeah. What a cool way to think. And like, I just hope that parents encourage their kids to destroy the things that they built. What do you think, how do you think I played with my legacets as a child? Oh, God. immaculately followed to the program

and never altered because that's actually not how it was designed so that one actually can't sit in here because that was a set fully assembled yeah I had like some of the medieval ones I didn't have that many but I had a castle medieval ones I had like yeah

I had like a little wizard hut and I had a little witch's balloon and a witch's balloon it was like it was kind of like a hot air balloon with a witch, except not a hot air balloon, it was a dragon. Yeah.

Wow. And she was like hanging in a basket under the dragon. And you were scared that if you were to destroy it and then make something new, the new thing would never be as good as the witch's balloon. Yeah. And like, yeah. But they all interacted well with each other because they were from a cohesive set, the medieval set, or the night set, whatever they're called.

Anyway, but yeah, I would, I loved that that's an option, but I was never engaging in such things. And how do you think I played with Lego? Never followed the instructions ever? No, I definitely built the things. And then after a day, I was like, well, that's beautiful. I've seen that now. And then I'd smash it all apart, but they were all into a tub.

Shake it around with all the other Lego. Some of it would not even be Lego. Yeah. Oh, God. That freaks me a little bit. But, like, I didn't have such a huge Lego. but my friend Vince had like gotten his mother on like the trading post, the newspaper that used to come out where you could find things,

which is crazy. Yeah. A tub of Lego, which would have been like, I don't know, thousands of dollars worth of Lego for like $600 or something. And put it all together. And it was so fun.

We just spent hours making different things. What is it, Zelda? We just got sent another speak hole. Oh my God. Fresh. Live. Live speakhole. Are we ready for our live speakhole?

Maybe. Anyway, but I want to hear more about this Lego. Maybe the speaker will be about Lego. We'd just sit for hours and we'd pick a theme for the build of the, like, and we'd work on it for like three weeks or a month. We're working on building this giant castle thing or a mall or whatever. Yeah. And it would just become like a fabulous thing. You'd find different pieces that worked for what you're looking for.

but it was so fun. Yeah, I inherited some Lego from my cousin actually. Yeah. And I got a massive, like old early 90s Lego set, which was, it had a lot of pirate themes. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And those weren't being made anymore. Yeah.

In the late 90s when I started getting into Lego. Yeah. So it felt like I was like, yeah, I've got a vintage Lego set. Yeah, very cool. You know, you can't get it anymore. It is cool Like there were parrots and monkeys and stuff And palm trees

Yeah Desert islands and things That's very cute And chips Little characters I like the characters the most Yeah the figures are so cute And they used to have comics

About the characters Of the Lego characters Oh I didn't know about that No I think they were at the back Of the instruction sometimes Oh yeah

That makes sense Little storylines And I also loved That before they got onto The franchise stuff they had all sorts of different themes. So they had the pirates, the medieval knights. They had out of space.

Some sort of, yeah, they had out of space. They had some sort of potentially racist cowboys and Native American Indian style ones. And then they had, and then, because they couldn't, I guess because they couldn't get the rights to Indiana Jones, they made up this character called Johnny Thunder. Do you remember that guy? No, but that's right.

I do remember playing like in a kind of indie style set. Well, he would always be in the, in the desert, in Egypt. Like, he was like an archaeologist slash. So cool. Yeah, and he would be digging through like the pyramid or the great sphinx or whatever. That's great. And the jungle and things. And there was always like spooky trap doors and booby traps and stuff in all of these sets.

But it had like pretty much every character from Johnny, from Indiana Jones, but it was just called Johnny Thunder instead. Well, when is he getting a live screen adaptation? Yeah, I want to see a movie of him. You played her. I saw recently when I was in the Lego store in Hobart that something that I hadn't really seen, except I knew that was happening where, like,

Lego had tried to appeal to young women in the form of Lego friends. Young women. Yeah. I was going to bring this up. Do you mean young girls or young women? Well. Like 20-something you're eyes?

Yeah, well, you know, whatever. Who could say? But, you know, like, once again, kind of getting into that weird, like, well, girls don't want to play with, like, a little mini fig. They want their own kind of thing. It's somewhere between a mini figure and tall. Yeah. And I looked at those awful looking women. Aren't they so gross.

They're freakish. They're actually scary. They're like, they don't have any, like, they don't even look symmetrical. No. They're just like weird plastic blobs. Yeah. With, like, long, stretch. out demonic arms, giant heads.

And a lot of them, like, the skirts are just like, oh. They're so ugly. And then you're clipping them into bricks anyway. Yes. You're not making a free-flowing world around them. No. I'm sorry, but Polly Pocket exists. Get over it.

Yeah. They're awful. Awful. Yeah. One thing, okay. So there's been a world of Lego video games. Yeah. In theory, how fun?

What fun. The Lego, like, comedic approach, I'm not offended by. No, that's cute. Yeah, it can be quite, like... I also love that it, like, allows them to make kids versions of things that, like, should be fun. Yeah. Like Star Wars. Yeah.

It's cool. Yeah. But I just... There was a game... It was a Lego game. Recently, there's, like, a puzzle game that I actually should get. I just keep forgetting about it. That is like really short, little levels,

kind of like the Captain Toad's adventure game that Nintendo put out. Like little self-contained, yeah, except everything in that game is built by Lego. Like everything. All the environments, or the water, or the fire. That's so cool, because that's like Lego. And then every other Lego game has, like, the mini-fig running around

on, like, sand next to, like, a tree. It's like, well, like a realistic tree. Why is there a tree here that should be several brown bricks with some green bricks on top? What the fuck? That's a really frustrating to hear, Zeldar. I didn't know that that was happening. Yes, bitch.

Those Lego games are the devil. It's not made out of Lego. Fuck off. And it's like, what is the point? And then like some elements, like the switches will be made of Lego, but the wall is like 3D metal or whatever. It's so. That's the costume equivalent.

Yes. Are we in Lego World? Yes. And there's some argument that someone might make, listener, maybe, of like, well, when you're in the real world, you would take your mini fig and play with it on the grass. If that was the vibe.

Yeah. It was in giant blades of grass like, honey, I shrunk. Yeah. Honey, I shrunk. The game remake. Oh, honey. I shrunk. Yeah, so bad.

I hate it. Anyway, I understand it would probably be infinitely more complex to make a Lego game out of Lego. But, like, that's the point. Get real. Yeah. That's why the film, the Lego movie, did such a cool thing where they, like, made everything out of Brits. Yes. They knew what I wanted.

Yes. If I'm watching Lego. I'd like to watch Lego. You know? Okay, well, okay, so look, I'm going to give you my top three Lego bricks just to expedite the process. Okay, yeah. And then you can do the same. The same.

Number one. Yeah. The little gem. The single dot. Like the gem that has the little plug that you can put into like a hollowed out Lego top. Oh, I see. That little gem. Wait, isn't the whole reason you want to talk about Lego is so that you could complain about smart

bricks. Oh, yeah. Okay. Well, okay. Hit us quickly. Okay. Talk about the good bricks that you like first.

No, I don't want to, because then we can come back. Okay. Just, they recently released the Lego Smart Brick at the Lego conference, which,

okay. And then all I've seen on my TikTok for some fucking reason, because I'm not like a Lego collector. I don't have anything to do with Lego. I don't have children, but I've been getting whiny little Lego fans who apparently are the worst fans of anything who are like we fucking hate the smart brick, which is a new

RFID enabled brick that has little speakers and lights in it, that when it gets close to, you know, your R2D2 thing, they scan each other and it will produce the sound of R2D2. And it even does a thing where if you have two different bricks that are both going to be scanned by the RFID sensor, it will overlay and create a composite sound effect with both of their sounds playing at the same time. Yeah. Which is cool as shit. It's also a brick that then, like, can do, like, then put it near the duck one and

it will make a duck sound. So it's not, like, tethered to one thing. And these little bitches just are spending all fucking day complaining. Complaining. Number one, they're like, why is it $70? dollars and I'm like I don't know don't buy it yeah that's fine

Lego there's Lego sets that are not that much yeah Lego's expensive okay that is like an unfortunate reality of the time we're living in yeah they're taking your money but also Lego's always been a premium toy yes like it's always been like in the Barbie Hot Wheels kind of world it's it's always been weirdly expensive yeah

but you get a product that you're going to play with forever and you don't have to buy it and if you'd like your child to grow up with the magic of Lego, guess what? You can buy secondhand Lego because it lasts that long. And they could make anything out of any of it. Unless they're stupid.

Mother made you a death star. Anyway. They never break. And they never break. So it's like you're getting a toy that just never breaks. There are actually more colours that are more brittle than others

in like the old recipes which is so cool. Like some of the horrendous like Lego nerds that I watch on YouTube are like, oh, you have to be so careful when taking this set apart because it's from the 90s and the maroon in the 90s is really weak and brittle. That's amazing. Isn't that so good? Anyway. But yeah, I'm just like, shake your fuck a mouth. Like, I could give a shit. I could give a shit. They've done something cool. Yeah. Some actually cool toy. Like, that's fun. What about, because I've been watching this,

course. What about the argument of like, it's about your imagination? Yeah. And if you think that your imagination is going to be toppled because you hear the sound of R2D2, then bitch, it's not playing a DVD. Like, that's cool. I'm sorry, but like, it's cool. I love it when there's like a cool gimmick in toys. Yeah. I think it's magic. Like, it's exciting for a kid to like have this one magical premium thing in a set that like makes it suddenly exciting and cool. And as, because we briefly talked about this yesterday, I was saying like when the Lego Mario stuff came out, which was like the first, well, I don't know, one of the bigger first releases of this kind of tech, it was very like, cool.

Yeah. And everyone was so like, ugh. It's a shame everything in those sets is so ugly, but the functionality is so cool. Like that's so fun. And now that it's been incorporated into like more like, regular Lego, everyone's losing their minds, like, nah. Yeah. But like, you don't have to buy the sets with it.

There's so much Lego in the world. You could also just like not charge them. Yeah. You could buy it. It looks like all the other sets. And with no charge, no sound. And bitch is going to be sitting on your shelf anyway. Yeah.

When are you ever going to hear from that, you know? And all of those freaks that are really losing their mind about it probably have their stupid little Lego cities with LED lights in them. Yeah. That's not Lego. That's not Lego. That's cool. But you've, you know.

Yeah, you've already bastardized as that. Yeah. But the, yeah, they're like, I just, sometimes, like, when you look at it on its face, you have a company that's selling blocks to children. Like, blocks to children, like, that is doing anything they can, including, like, all the tie-ins, everything, to stay afloat. In a world that has, they can go into an infinite online play. box, you know, if they have a new cool idea that keeps kids involved, like, even if it does do a bit of heavy lifting for their imagination, they're still playing with fucking blocks. And you should be so excited that they're playing with something that, like, teaches all these

fine motor skills and gets them excited about producing things with their own imagination. And if they need, like, a little, like, a bit of honey to get into that, like, that's fine. to still infinitely better than them just sitting around watching ben 10 episodes yeah like there are there's like absolutely discussion to be had about like who gets access to premium toys but in the world the lego you can still go online and find people selling secondhand Lego all the time yes there's a lot of Lego to go around I don't like there's more and more of it in the world than there ever has been before so if you have you know like if you want to get some Lego for your kids and you don't have a shit ton of money.

Maybe they're not getting the power brick, but maybe you can still find a way for them to enjoy this product. Yeah. And you can sit there beside them and go, pshu. Anyway, I also don't want to fucking hear it. Yeah. Okay, so, little gem. Little gem.

Okay, second one, the tiny block, it looks like a four block, but half of it slanted off to make it look like a computer screen. And then it has a little green screen with a little green screen with a little green screen. print across it, like to make it, like, you know, those blocks that have a print on them. Yeah. So it's got like a little screen of a computer on there. Yes. I love.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's great. Yeah. Satisfying to hold, but also so cute, the little details. Yeah. And then the final block. And what I believe to be the zenith of blocks. Yeah.

That fire block. Oh, the little fire. Transclusive orange. It almost glows in your hand. Yeah. And when it's executed. correctly it looks like it's a flaming torch outside your castle gates yes um and one of the fattles shape yeah or like it's in the back of your um car coming out the exhaust because you're going so fast

um or it's in the chimney or on top of the head of a mini fig he's on fire he's on firehead or he's holding it in his little mini fig hand he's a magician yes it's that's good it's so good that's really good clear you can see right through it yeah but it's orange Okay. They're good. Thank you. They're good. Thank you.

I'm going to send through mine. First, I have an honorable mention, but it can't be in my top three because of the glaring hole. So like the classic Lego horse, I love. And that hole means that you can have a mini fig stand in there. It can put a saddle in and then the minifig. That's great for functionality. However, I never had my horses. with the saddle in and the mini figure in

because the horses don't want to be ridden they just want to be free. So I would always then fill it in with like the brick and the little thin brick to like fill in which also comes with the horses. But that looks so ugly. It's so ugly.

I'd want it to be one piece because then the bricks in the middle. But yeah, I was like, I want my horses to be free so I would always fill them but they look much better when they put the saddle in. Obviously. So that's why she's...

I can't ever let it be free because she's got to paint it on. Bridal, I know. It's not fair. Some of them didn't have the bridles. I hope not. Be free, Lego Horse. Okay, so first the horse. Okay, that's the honourable mention.

This one also doesn't really count because there's a mini, fig, but the glow in the dark overlay of the ghost. She's a girl. It's so good. Oh, I forgot. That is a quite... And you just put that over a regular... It like slips onto the top, and then underneath is just like a...

Like a black or a white mini fig with a plain face. But the cutout in the ghost makes it ghostly. I love that. So good. That and the Skellington one was so important. Oh, I would mention Skellington. Oh, my God, the ribcage. Why is it so deep?

So that's really good. Then we've got this little diva, which is, of course, the little molded bat. Oh, Zelda, this is such great options. How good is that? I love it. Spooky bat. I love it. the little molded bat.

A single, like single, yeah, what do you call it? Pip wide, where do you, single block. Yeah,

like a single round wide or something. And then finally, the crocodile. Because single mold, a little action, but you can't, like you can snap off the head,

but like the top part of the head. But anyway, comes as like one piece, so it's technically, Zelda, that's Zelda, Zelda, these are incredible.

Yeah, that crocodile, molded piece. I love, love, love. That is so good. Yeah. In a swamp. Oh. Oh. Yeah. And you can put this like a little hole in its mouth as well. Yeah, it can be crunching. You can put fire in there. No, like it was like a little, yeah, you could put fire in that. Yes. Yes. Yes. I'm here for crocodile. Yeah. Crocodile was great. And you, the crocodile is always free. True. There's no saddle. That's right. Um, but it does have, um, the things on, like, studs on top so you can put something on there securely that's good i love that crocodile car yeah but also

the studs on top match the theme of like it has a spiky top of the creature yeah which is so well integrated with the molded parts that's good matt do you have any favorite just my monkey monkey oh yes pirate monkey yeah it had it had four little Lego hands i do love that he has the same mini fig hands as a regular like the monkey so he could hold lots of stuff he could hold a sword could hold a gun he could hold four guns let's see Matt now we're already having fun

oh my god we're already having too much fun I yeah once I got that monkey that was like my favorite character I like I wanted to be that monkey when I was younger I fear you might have achieved your goal I'm just having a proper look I hate the monkey I hate everything about it

How would you even put the monkey on Like did he have a Like how did he go onto a block He couldn't go on a block He sounds his face is so angry He was a character Yeah but all the mini-fix can go on a block Yeah well he couldn't because he had four hands

And he could climb up things He would have thrown this monkey into the beard I hate the monkey And then taking him out once she realized He was part of the set And she didn't want to break up the set Yeah But he could be

Somewhere Put monkey at the back Yeah Also look at that little face Ew I love the monkey It's really cute And like you could have put a pole in somewhere

And he could be hanging from it I mean if it could be hanging from a pearl That would be better That's how he does connect into the set. He could hang on a vine. There were vines. Oh, true. I guess not everyone needs to interact with the sets in the same way.

Like, what you put technique in there? Technique. Okay. Okay. I'm going to say crocodile. Yeah. Crocodile wins. Crock.

Or the Skellington. Congratulations. Skellington. I do think like the skeleton is also such a good one that I kind of forgot about. Yeah. Because the rib cage is so cool. But we have skeletons already. I know.

What's one more? We have Scalingtons at home in the bunker. Yeah. Okay. Crocodile, you're in. Yes. Okay. Into the Meg's tank.

Oh, goodbye. I was always so disappointing to play with Lego in the bath. You wouldn't have done that. Sinking. No, I wouldn't. Absolutely not. But, you know, take the Lego ship in the bath. And then you're like, oh, bye.

Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay. So, my God. No. Uh, should we quickly listen to that speakhole? Oh, yes, please. Sure thing.

Coming right up. Better not be controversial. Yeah. You'd have to cut it. Hello? Hello? Am I calling the Stranger Things companion podcast speak pipe? Please never talk about Stranger Things again.

Thank you. Love the path. Except the Stranger Things, part. Valuable feedback. Sorry. If you had spoken up, but two hours ago. Okay, I'm happy to make Like, we're never talking about that again

I'm done with Stranger Things I mean we've done so like we've never spoken about it before But I see what you're saying Also don't drive and send us sinkholes Yeah, that's where they are Yeah, if we ever talk about strange things again I'll just cut it out Yeah

Unless conformity gate turns out to be real In which case I have to talk about it again It's called conformity gate But it won't go out Yeah, that's fair enough, ma'all We'll put it on the Patreon Yeah, okay. Oh, not even that.

What's a Patreon for the things that will make our enemies unhappy? Hmm. I guess Twitter. Okay, so today we've put in $30,000, $30,000 for Denise. Yes. Sorry? Sorry? We've put in the washerwoman.

Wash a woman. And the crocodile brie. A fabulous crocodile. Oh, so good. Okay. Cool. Dunsora. Thanks for listening.

We'll see you in a hell listener. Goodbye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Cheers. Our theme song and music was provided by Ediecentric at Angus Leslie. If you have something to say to us, send it to us at death to everyonepod

at gmail.com or speakpipe.com slash death to everyone. And won't you support us please at patreon.com. Settent to everyone? Goodbye. Lista. Goodbye. Bye-bye.