Death To Everyone - Death To... Merch & Celebrity Chefs Feat. Eve Elle

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

Special guest in the space car today! Miss Eve Elle from Adelaide - ooh lala! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. Hello. There they are. Do you know that I learned today from Kiki Palmer in a recent interview that, hello, is it me you're looking for? Lionel Richie. Lionel is actually Linnell. Linal? Oh, yeah, Lionel. Linell. Yeah. Ritchie. Yeah. That's how he says it. I see. Not Linnell. I don't know that anyone says it, Lannell. Hello, Lenel. But also that it does remind me that at the start of simple life, Nicole Richie, is like, my dad, Lionel Richie, I'm like, do you not know your father's name? Now it throws it all into stock.

Lennel. Linell. Anyway, welcome everyone to death to everyone, your favorite podcast, favorite podcast. I am lazy Susan. And I'm Zaldemona. And who's that chuckling in the background? It's Matt. That's our producer.

Hello. I just, oh, God, I was telling someone about the podcast today. And they were like, oh, that sounds great. And they're like, you're part of it. I was like, I just mostly chuckle. Yes, you're a one-man laugh track. Yeah. Yeah.

And occasionally throw in some really bizarre, horny energy that just upsets everyone. I don't throw in a horny energy. Anyway, Matt, it's not about you today. It's about two new stars. Well, no, it's about. A third star that we have. A returning guest, a champion. We have Miss Eve L.

Live in studio once more. Hello. Now, Evel, for any new listeners who have not yet caught up on old episodes, can you just reintroduce yourself? My name is Dreyfell. What's my name? Linnell. Dregor.

My name is Eve L. Adelaide Icon. You might remember me from season one of Death's Sets. everyone. Yes. And I believe that was the most listened to episode of season. Indeed, that it was. I'm still waiting for the check.

Well, listen, if you can repeat success, then we can start cutting you into our lucrative benefits program. Yes. So far, we've made zero dollars in the podcast. So your percentage will be astounding. It is lovely to be back at Natural Habitat Studio. Yes. How has it changed?

It's darker. Oh, good. Moodyer. Yeah. A little bit hornier. Yeah, it definitely is horny. Sorry about that. And how have you changed?

Not really changed. Unmoved. Yeah, I look exactly the same. You do. You pretty much do, yes. Yeah, I try not to age. Yeah. How many years has been?

17. Oh, since, but I've been doing drag. Since you were last year. Oh, I've been doing drag for 16 years, but last year, two years. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. It feels longer, doesn't it? Yeah.

Wow. Well, I've been busy. And you're in town because you've done a multitude of things here in Melbourne. You didn't waste your trip. Well, I came over especially to support my favorite Melbourne comedy drag queens. Suck on that, Sabrina. I knew it was coming. Granny bingo, yep.

And, you know, while I was here, I thought I'll see the witchy girls. Throw a dog a bird. And how was the witchy girls premiere for you? Oh, my gosh. That's cool. Okay, listener. Yeah. So we did, of course, have our premiere of our new series.

At the Capitol Theatre, Miss Eva, was in attendance, along with 569 other people, allegedly, except one woman who had an event. Yeah. Yes. Well, she was there for part of it. Which, actually. Yes. Oh, my God. Now I'm putting together the pieces.

I think that might have been my old media teacher who was having a stroke. Oh. Oh. God. He had a stroke. Apparently, I'm kind of connecting the dots as to why someone in our chat was like sending us a screenshot of someone saying that someone had had a stroke. Yes. Oh no.

Did I cause my old media teacher? Did I have a stroke? She's like, this is what I created. This is what I poured my heart of soul. And so witchy girls. Yeah. Oh, my God. No.

Oh, well, that's the other thing. Of course. We did have some fabulous press from Q. Q-Nus that identified. Thank you so much, Dean, for coming and make it such a spectacle, but you did forget to mention the co-creator of the show Zelda Moon at all. That's good. Focusing instead on glamorous sister baby Jane.

It's good. Dean and I are doing, like, our own little interview and bits and pieces later down the line towards episode six. I didn't want to reveal that you had had in involvement. I just can't wait to see what that article reads. like lazy susan's other friend yeah oh god mrs susan's coaster yeah reveals what she's really like yeah exactly so tell me more about what you think about lazy

what's it like working it's just such greatness I'm so sorry sister no it's hilarious the press is vicious yes you can't control it anyway here we are the show was really good the theatre is incredible It is a rats warren Backstage of like weird little never-ending hallways that don't go in it's very back roomsy actually Like unadorned white hallways from the 1920s that like have just laminated signs that vaguely point you in the right direction to sometimes the doors are locked Yeah And the only way in or out of the building is through a few staircases and so

We had these giant props for the step and repeat that all needed to be carried up the stairs because they were too big for the elevator and they were yeah big VHS standees of the fictional show well the real show but like the fictional VHS release and then yeah somehow all of that made it into the building um the show which we had scarcely any time to rehearse or do anything with because we were so stressed out about getting everything else done for the show um I think we're not with not too many hitches. Totally.

Yeah, many, many moving parts, lots of fabulous guests that all, I think, added something quite special. Yeah. It was a fabulous and spooky, multifaceted. Spooktacular. Spooktacular. Yes. Were you seated in like, comment or subscribe?

True. Comment. Comment, comment. That's good. Matt? I was in the like section. Explain what happened for the listeners. Well, we did try and do a little conjuring spell of algorithmic success

before the launch of the episode. Did it work? I think it's done pretty well. Yeah. I think as well, like putting things up on YouTube is always a bit of a crap shoot because you're like, well, there it goes. And like it's not like TikTok in the same way. It really has to be recommended to people and then clicked into.

Yeah. So it's not the same as just how. having it show up on your feed and that counts as a view. So, yes, we did a bit of an algorithm expel, dividing the audience into three and getting them to whisper like. As a witchy spell. Yeah. And, yeah, like, I think as well, you always forget that 500 people doing anything at the same

time is kind of always quite magical. Yes, it was chic. I could say that you were really reveling in the power. Yes. Yeah, it was quite good. I mean, when you have that many people in front of you, you've got to, you know, revel a little bit. bit.

Yeah. Because we've never, like, we've never sold an audience that big. It was really. Yeah. No. Yeah. It felt like a bit of a level of, it felt massive. Yeah, we've been at events that are that big or bigger.

Like, and like, I guess doing the in the dark like scream queens, but that sold on Katia's name and like all the other people. So it's like, this was like the only event where it's like you feel very like responsible for all the people being here instead of just part of like a larger thing. but yeah what a wild time and um so fun so fun but also so like now so uh i don't know like so amazing to feel that like evaporation of stress yeah that just came with like we have to have this done and now it is done yeah um but anyway more to the point eval have you had any good dick while you've been in Melbourne? No, look, I'll be honest, I haven't had any good dick in a long time. Oh my God. Yeah. Do you live in Adelaide, correct? Exactly. I feel like the Adelaide dick has got to be good. It doesn't sound like a problem, like a you problem. Sounds like a other people problem.

Yeah. Well, no, I'm very lazy. I'm lazy. No, but I'm also very lazy. And yeah, I just, you know, very busy. Yeah. And the dating pool in Adelaide is abysmal. But you think you'd have lots of like DL like sexually frustrated treaties in my like is that not a thing? Yeah it is but I'm not a pervert you know I have a life to live

yeah you don't want to deal with some of those wouldn't like 60% of that life be hooking up with those DL guys? No. Oh. Oh. Well well I'm a you know my story.

I'm a good Christian girl. That's right. Yeah but when will that what about if that changed? well as soon as it does i'll let you know okay good good um so in addition um your home bar just had its 10th birthday that's very fabulous we just celebrated 10 years of mary's poppin incredible the former synagogue turned into a drag bar yes very chic wait it was a synagogue yeah i didn't know it's one of the oldest buildings in adelaide it's beautiful that's why it has that kind of architectural

Art Deco. It's a very, it's a heritage-listed building. So they can't actually, yeah, there's only so much we can do with it. Yeah. We have painted the front of it to be a rainbow. Gay. Yeah, we've really gayified it. Yeah.

Bagged it up. And you just say no one accidentally goes in. Surely they weren't in a synagogue. No, the chandeliers, I don't think, either. Oh, no. But it's really chic because of the way that it's set up, like it's right on an alley. So when you have those breakout events where you want to take over the alleyway, it's so good. And then it's also really close to the hotel where they put people up.

So it's so close that you can almost go back home to change. Yeah. And go back. It's quite good. Some of them do. Yeah. And how is the event? Fabulous.

Yeah, we had a multitude of guests. You had Ms. Art Simone. Was she on good behavior? Oh, she was on best behavior. Because she had to fly straight to Brisbane for Little Gay Day or not. something. Yeah. Yeah.

That's bloody crazy. But we had Karen. Yes. We had Coco vibe. Amazing. Champagne. The queen of queens. Plenty of champagne.

If you don't know about champagne, there's a drag queen from Sydney who lives inside a gay club, like in the walls. She lives in the apartment next to, oh my God. Above universal. Above universal. And like, so she'll just pop home, like, completely out of drag. and then you'll see her five minutes later and she's completely in drag. And she's just the most fabulous camp woman.

She is very fab. Champagne by name, champagne by nature. We also had a premier diva of Adelaide, Vonnie. One of the original lay girls. Amazing. I think she's, oh, she'd probably kill me. She's 35. 75.

Bonnie's fucking incredible. Well, maybe she just turned 76 on Friday, actually. incredible um but she's just the most camp yeah camp thing you've ever seen um and i was helping her in the dressing room she had a you know knockers out she loved to get her tits out yeah yeah and i've seen them a million times as well yeah yeah how are they doing good yeah they're defying gravity well that's it they're younger than she yeah much younger that's what that song was written about yeah um and she goes oh i love you uh i hope i fit into this cost I haven't, haven't worn it in 15 years.

Did you try it on? It's just like, no. I do love the gals with the archive pieces. Yeah. Just busting them out. You're just like, what do you mean? Like, it's the same with Mini Cooper where you're like, what do you mean you've kept every single thing you've ever made and worn and they all still fit you?

Oh, you got her. It's all, you know, a cycle. Yeah. They'll come back around. That's right. But she has a collection of outfits made by, this Adelaide designer called Julian Dean who passed away. But she had Julian shackled to the sewing machine.

So we, like Julian was practically blind and still trying to make Ronnie costumes. Amazing. So she cherishes anything made by Julian Dean. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, they just don't make it like that anymore. Yeah, yeah. I mean, that's, I feel like when you pick up one of those, like, old school drag pieces, Like ones they used to have it, the Greyhound, like, you'd pick them up and you're like,

Jesus, like the heavy duty stitching, the lining and then like a zip that like was built to sewed tanks together or something. Yeah. It's just like, oh my good. We had a dear sweet, fabulous woman do some costuming for witchy girls, like made our little witchy outfits. And she is an amazing sewer but had never done drag outfits before. Yeah.

She's not sewn for big blokes. No. And it arrived with an invisible. We'll zip. Yeah. And we're like, you will never make this mistake again. But we need the chunkiest fucking zip on this motherfucker. They're beautiful.

Yes. But, yeah. Not good for a quick change. Yeah. Amazing. gorgeous. Okay. Well, shall we dive in and won't you destroy all of humanity?

I would love to. Every week on the show, we decide how the world is going to end. And if it's a guest here, then it's a guest who does the destruction. So, well, speaking of shoddy zips, yeah. A bit of a scourge on the earth is fast fashion. Mm-hmm. And I don't know if you heard about this,

but there was a girl in the UK in 2024 who found a live venomous scorpion in her sheen parcel, which I think is quite camp. That's amazing. Like, did someone at the sheen factory put that in there as a little gag? Yeah. But how I'm going to, in the world is essentially

scorpions come out of everyone's sheen packages. Incredible. And take over the world, sting everyone and everyone dies. I love that. Right? So they're not in the mass extinction, but they also take over?

Yeah, are they like sentient? Are they hoarding born meanings but on little tables? I think so. Cute. Yes. I do think it's funny that scorpions kind of like are arguably very cool.

They're kind of crab snake. coded. But like snakes, I feel like I S-tier and then like scorpions feel like weirdly like B-tier or something like there's something like about them that just has never like hit the mainstream

in the same way. Do you guys when I'm like doing that? Well. Like snakes are so iconic. Yes. I think there are more places in the world that have snakes. Yeah, right.

Whereas scorpions where do they exist? Yeah. Yeah, and I mean sometimes in the bottom of a bottle of tequila. Yes. Sometimes trapped in resin on like a keychain. Yeah. Yeah. But like.

Yeah. I guess because they're more bug. Yeah. We don't really give as much respect to bug. But like if it goes snake, scorpion, centipede, where is lizard and all that? That's a really good question. Lizard is not at the top. Snakes ahead of lizard.

Lizard just always feels a bit of a cop out. And sometimes you see them and you're like, what? That's it? That might be what happens when you see a lizard. But some of them are a bit plain. Lizards? Like what? I don't know.

Sometimes you just see a lizard. I mean, dare I say, the blue tongue lizard is incredible once it opens its mouth. but when a mouth is closed, she loses all her appeal. Like me? There it is. Okay.

Enough slander out of you, sister. Shall we move on to the episode? I really upset my sister. Okay. Okay, goodbye. Welcome back. Hello, listener. We're here with our fabulous guest.

Adelaide icon, Miss Eve. Hello. Elle. El. How's your mother? Good, good. After I was here last time, did not mention anything about it to her.

Yes, for the best. We really slandered her religion. Slanted. And so, yeah, I was like, I'm just going to... Just keep that one out. And I didn't want her to know that I sentenced her to an eternity in the bunker. That's the real thing. Because that would be not a mercy, but a curse for her.

Yeah. If there were a rapture, she would want to move on. Yeah. Yeah, totally. But it wasn't a rap. They were scorpions and sheen packets. So you've saved her from that. True.

Yeah. That's good. Is she a fast fashion girlie? No. No. Well, it depends. Like is, you know, she's like a bit of a country road. Yeah.

Um, Noni B kind of girl. Yeah. Um, is that fast fashion? I guess it is. I guess it is. I mean, it was still being made in, in sweatshoppy type conditions. But, um, it's probably all coming from the same place. Well, right.

There's just more of a surcharge. Well, exactly. I think it's funny. The thing about fast fashion that, like, it is such an insidious industry, but I think because it's gone, like, B to P or whatever, like, it's gone, like, straight factory to public. It's like, it kind of made, it laid bare something that was already happening in the world, but it has made every single human being that's ordering from it culpable for it.

Yeah. Whereas if you buy it through a third-party business, business, they then wear the culpability for that exploitation of worker and the crazy turnarounds. So it's like we were almost, we had these facades set up like locally to kind of absorb and buffer us from that reality. And then when you're receiving a scorpion in the post, you're like, oh no, someone was in a room packaging this. I deserve this action. Yeah. So it's, yeah, maybe it's just become a bit more clear to us what, what late stage capitalism has done.

We're holding the mirror closer to our own reflection. That's right. And it's ugly. And it's got two faces. And a scorpion in the background. How misleading is the film title The Mirror has two faces? You think, like, Barbara Strysand's going to be in this film about a woman born with two faces? But it's it, no.

It's just a rom-com. Wait till you see if these walls could talk. Do they not talk? No. I'm going to kill myself. Okay. I think we should probably start with the speakhole. because I haven't listened to it, and it was nearly two minutes long.

Oh my God. So that sounds fun. Have you been enjoying, as a listener of the pod as well as guest, have you been enjoying the speak holes or do you hate them? Oh, I enjoy the speak holes. You like to hear from them. These, like, hot blokey guys sound really hot. Yeah, that's good.

Okay, well, yeah. But. Well, today, yeah. But we, I would like to address the faux par. Because, you know, you're lucky that you made that correction last week. I was about to get scorpions in the mail myself. No, Daisy confused.

My dear Adelaide sister, Daisy confused. A true queen. She sent me here with an envelope of anthrax for you, but I've left it at home. Oh, that's so kind. Sorry, Daisy. After your vicious transphobic attack. I try and make my transphobia as hidden as possible

so that I can keep my icon status. But sometimes it's true. just slips out. I can't help her. I just hate them so much. I try living with one. Yeah. I just really, no, I don't mind trans men. Jesus. Christ. It's those dangerous. Okay, let's move on, shall we? Let's, um, let's listen. I think it was listener Lucy.

Lucy. So buckle up. Oh, Lucy Lollas. Dear Celestial world premiering witchy goddesses. And Matt. Thanks to you once again for a fabulous episode last week. As a ciswoman, I felt totally seen. Zelda, your harrowing account of attempting to get a taxi

and then being swamped by sports bros really touched a nerve. And speaking of nerve and talent, a huge congratulations to you both on your first live show which I attended last night. Oh. I, of course, had the pleasure of being on set for a day as a non-special or background person. I happen to be sitting behind the gorgeous actor who played Carly Beth, which felt cruelly like life-imitating art. But that's enough about me.

I want to talk merch. I see that your witchy girls tarot set is available online for pre-order. And it looks so, so cool. At the Liv Show, I picked up a super cute lazy Susan enamel pin to send to my brother. Shout out to Bamberger. I know it. What got me thinking which merch gets into the bunker? And finally, I urge everyone to get on the Comedy Republic YouTube channel,

watch the witchy girls first step and like. Comment, subscribe. Now, because as we know, there's a special place in hell for women that don't support women. Goodbye. Special place in the bunker too. It's called the sickbay. Lucy.

Thank you, Lucy. I mean, we couldn't have done it better if we'd paid you, which we will not be doing. So, a lot to, like, number one, beautiful diction. Beautiful diction. I'm glad you gave the context behind like, comment, and subscribe. True. How will you know?

I can really, I don't think anyone needs convincing, but we don't listen to these before we air them. So I didn't know that was coming. What I will say, though, just for everyone's brains, is that this is coming out like nine days after the event. Yes. Because tomorrow's, or today's episode we recorded last week, if you know what I mean. If you're no. Listener. Time travel.

But we know. Yeah. And Lucy is the relative of Benberg. Yes, the Ben Buggie sister. And we're drinking the chai. We're actually literally drinking Ben Buggie chai. Was Ben Bucky at the premiere? I don't believe so.

Ben Bucky lives in the middle of Timbuktu. But he said that he might come down for one of the other two, so we'll see. Oh, bless. Well, and Lucy, you were so good on set that day. It was a long day of people standing around in bikinis at a pool party with no pool. Yeah. And the thing about the first, the second episode, Oh, which will have come out by now, maybe.

Yeah. Is that it's a time stop episode. And so when you're doing time stop and you don't have budget, you just get everyone to stay. Yeah. And it's quite evident that everyone is just standing still. Sorry! No, but that's what makes it so funny because...

That's not what makes it so funny, Matt. The writing is that makes it so funny. It's just hilarious watching you to get as close. as you can to the people standing still and just saying how much you hate them in front of their face. Also, the incredible work done by the VFX team who went through and removed every single time someone blinked, which is crazy, just that they can do that.

And modern technology. I know, just like, I mean, Nikita, obviously was the number one offender, Kylie Beatt. I wonder why. Yeah. The unkind thing that we did all of those extras was not worn them. Like they all knew to come with like a 90s kind of like, like water outfit, whatever.

Didn't tell them they'd have to stand absolutely still. Yeah, it's freeze time. Yeah. Well, obviously our scripts are incredibly classified. So we can't let them know what's happening. That's fine. Also, poor, the real sadness is a dear friend of the pot, I guess. and original Beastie Girls Reactor viewer

Jeowal came to help and be an extra on the show and then straight away the cinematographer was like okay well we do need someone to operate the light that is like sitting in the room and it doesn't have a remote so it will need to be operated by someone in the scene so it's to be seamless and so Joao got sat down next to this light that is pointing lasers and I think

for the entire day of them sitting there as an extra at this party they were almost entirely blocked by other extras, so you don't even know of their existence. That's showbiz, baby. It was, yeah, sad. Anyway. The terror set, how fabulous, was just like a,

we had, had to all, like, we'd been like, okay, we're going to make a terror set, and then somehow found the time to, like, You know, it sounds like a great thing and something relatively easy to produce because it's like printed cardboard, cut into shapes. But then immediately you're like, oh no, we have to design 78 cards. And so that became the... Because you didn't have enough work to do, really.

No, and like I don't know what I was thinking when I said yes to doing that. Or I, no, I said that we were doing that. And then... Yeah, who told you to do that? And then doing it, I was like pulling my face off for two days. And so it's like you're rushing, rushing, rushing. And like, because essentially we had to get it in with an acceptable time frame that we could have had them at the live show, which turned out to be a folly because it's still not fucking here. Yeah.

But you rush, rush, rush, and now I'm like, oh, and now they're going to arrive and they're going to have so many bizarre little mistakes as a result of the fucking rushing. But that will all be charming first edition. Just blame the mistakes on the kids in the factory. Exactly. And who knows, maybe there'll be some scorpions. Exactly. Yeah, so they're going to be fabulous. And then that continues the legacy of merchandise.

Yes. Eval, have you got any merch? I don't. Oh, actually, great segue. I can plug my fabulous website. Yes, please. It's www. www.miss evel.com

Is that M-I-S-S or M-S-S-E-E-L-L-E? How do you pronounce that? M-E-V-Vell. Is that like Lionel? No, it's close. That's my father. Oh, this is gorgeous. I want to look at this.

I have the internet. This is the first time you've visited my gorgeous new website. I just don't normally have the internet until I'm here. I only. So the website as described, it's a fabulous valuer, no, velvet curtain in blue.

Oh. With Eve in a kind of changing position in the most stunning, uh, acceptable rainbow star outfit in a spotlight. And then around her arms holding the different menu items that you can select from including buy stuff here. Who is she?

Get in touch and give her flowers. This is so beautiful. Evel. Eval. Sorry. Hello. Book her now for your next event. Oh, sorry, book her for your next event now.

Silly. I didn't come to this website to be insulted. And called Silly. So who made this website? My lovely friend Teller from Anti-Agency. So I did, like, what do you call them? I did some like mock-ups. And then we went through the process of building.

It's so nice. Have you seen this page? Yes Yes Eval sitting in front of Animation What could I be described As like a Barbie dream home

With all her different incarnations Yeah But she says she is the Cameron Diaz Of Adelaide This is so lovely This is amazing We didn't come here to talk about me I'm not if you would just navigate

To the Give her flower Yeah And it goes straight to the PayPal Oh my God How does the PayPal work So you can Essentially just like

Send money No one has. No one has sent me. Actually, the only person who has sent me money via that PayPal link is Grace Helbig. I did an opener for Grace Helbig and Mammery Hart from the, this might get silly. Yeah.

Sorry, this might get weird podcast. My second favorite podcast, obviously. Good, good, you've done well. But yeah, people can just give you money. and then it goes into your PayPal account and then you can cash it out. That's amazing. I'm trying to do it now, but it won't let me.

Don't, please. Do you know what? I tried to get a cameo one time from Ms. fucking Brenda Brest when she put up her cameo and I was set to pay her and everything just trying to get her to congratulate me for winning.

She refused the call. She said no. But there is a merch store on the website. And as you can see, it all just says coming soon in ketchup font. Yes, it's great. So, yeah, I actually don't know yet. I don't currently have any merch.

What are you? There's six slots there as well. You need to figure out six new pieces of merch. Yeah. What, like, what do you think? What are you thinking about? Well, I have a bit of a list. Oh.

And I have considered potentially doing an Advent calendar. Love that. But I would want it to be quite upmarket. Like 12 days or 24 days? I would want 24 because like you want to start it at the start of December. I agree. And carry all the way up to Christmas. So you want to make 24 pieces of merch?

Yes. So it would be I've got... You need 25 really, don't you? Yeah. You need one for Christmas more. Yeah. A big one. Pins.

You know, like a pin set. A gorgeous enamel. Enamel pin. That's classic. horn. Yes. Love a shrewon. With like my face or my tongue.

Yeah. As the horn. The tongue is great. That's good. That's really good. And an evel bottle opener. Yeah. And my gap teeth would be the like bottle.

That is great. Amazing. Key ring. That's pretty standard. Yeah. But I feel like good. Already this is more than most. Um, an eval calendar.

Inside of the Advent calendar. Yes. A calendar. A calendar. for next year. Amazing. Three, six, five days or 12 months? Full size?

I haven't decided because it doesn't exist. And now are we doing like a box with various compartments? It could be like a fridge calendar, like a magnet calendar. Oh, that's good. Or, yeah, maybe just like a, you know, flip, like a, yeah, a 12-month count. Yeah, that's nice. Eval portable cutlery set. Oh.

You know. For camping trips? Yeah, for camping trips or like lunch. In the park. In your lunch box. Yeah. Wait, so explain to me how does the evel come into the, like, like. I'd probably just order them on Sheen and then put a sticker.

I put an e-vail sticker over the top. For your upmarket, the activity calendar. Well, you'll put the scorpion on top as well. Yeah. That would be inside. Yeah. A live scorpion. Or maybe a live scorpion can be in one of the boxes.

Maybe that'd be Christmas Day. Yes. I also just, I mean, quickly on that live scorpion thing, it seems like it's really hard to sell, like, spiders and scorpions to people online. Yeah. Like, it's hard to keep them alive in the packaging that you send them in. And so I think it's just funny that Sheen was able to do that as well. Yeah, yes.

I mean, they can't do. Anyway, Christmas ornament. Oh, yes. On the bottle opener. My bottle opener is a parrot. Fabulous. Fabulous. I don't know how.

A pen. A pen. A shot glass. Yeah. A candle. This is a big, this is a big calendar. Well, 25. No, but like, it's a chunky, it's a girthy calendar.

Oh yeah, it would weigh a ton. You would be paying, this is like a Marx and Spencer 500-pound calendar. Yeah, made of timber with boxes. Jibbets for your crocs. Yeah. Sox. because everyone needs socks. Your socks for your crocs.

A stress ball for, you know, trying time. Oh, what's your take on the stress ball? Um, I'd probably just have my name on it, on my picture or... Listen, I really love... Maybe it'll be like, it'll be like an,

a picture of my face, but with steam coming out of my ears. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that that... Angry face. Yeah. What if, like, the whole ball was like your head with, like,

no wig on so that it could make sense for the sphere shape. And it's just like your face and then like a beige-ish, you know. Why not? I think you could get a little wig for your stress book. Oh. Yeah, you could sell a little, yeah, like dress-up packs. Yeah. Go on.

That's all I've got on the list. Okay. So it's a work in progress and... That's amazing. It sounds expensive, so I don't know. Yeah, I think you'd have to... You could temper your expectations on some of those things, but people would definitely pay for a fabulous, luxurious nativity calendar.

Yeah, but the downside might be it being an Evel branded Advent calendar because I don't know if anyone actually wants that. You know what? You've got to build the market sometimes. Do you have 12 pictures? Of myself? Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Then you are ready for that calendar. Yet 25 days of signed prints. Yes, exactly. We love a sign. Oh, the advent. Sorry, I meant like 12. Yeah, that's fine. For the calendar calendar.

The calendar. Let's get away from my imaginary merch. You have had some real fabulous merch. Made a lot of merch in my day. I really do like a round-up whole video of all the merch we've done. Yes. A lot of merch. Like we've done Beastie Girl stuff.

Yeah, but you've done. I have the original Beastie Girls T-shirt. Yes. I have two Beastie Girls pens. I'm missing the Zelda. Oh, that's a good one to be missing because you can still get that one quite easily. Versus the, no, versus the Benign Girl one. Ah, thank you.

And the lazy one, which is sold out. No, I saw so many of those fucking bands. I remember being backstage with Dom, whatever, his name is, the magician. Oh, yes, I saw. talking about merch and we were like, yeah, it's our first Saturday fringe, we got a bunch of merch, and I was selling well. So we're like, oh, da-da-da. And he was like, yeah, I got bottle openers done

because my whole thing was beer when I did Australia's Got Talent. And now I just have a shed full of bottle openers. And I remember this kind of like having this pitying thought, like a poor son of a bitch. Oh, nobody wanted to buy your shit. And then cut to five years later and I still have a shed full of fucking pens being like, I want to buy this fucking ban Anyway

It's a lot to sell You could put them in your Advent calendar Yeah exactly It would definitely be like Because like some of those like Mystery boxes that you know Jeffrey Star or whatever used to do Where they just chuck all the shit

That wasn't selling into a box And be like enjoy Not that it doesn't sell It's just like There's just a lot of it Also drag queens don't always have Like it's really only when I do the bingos That you have like a merch table

Like at a club gig You're not selling merch table It's not really appropriate. Yeah. Because why not? Right? I wish that they did it more. Like you always come off stage and then the girls come up and they're like,

can we get a photo with you? Yeah. We love you. And, you know, if you had some merch to hock off. Yeah. Like get it by. A little suitcase or like a trench coat. Yes.

Well, we have one of those for selling merch. Yeah. Yeah. We do need to get back on the grinder selling merch. It's a good time. Yeah. But yeah. So, enamel pins, done a lot of those.

Holographic stickers. You've had your magnet. Yes, we have a dress-up magnet sets. Which actually I have sold out of now. They're officially gone, which is amazing. I wonder, it's a healthy amount of Zelda left? Yeah, they've got about four boxes. Oh.

That's good. Zelda, we just, the only difference is you just need to go on drag, And then you can sell as much of your magnets as possible. Yes. Because that's the only reason. But yeah. And maybe write a TV show. Touch the nerve.

Sorry. Leave my sister alone. It's good. I mean, I could also have a website and like maybe like. Set it up. Advertise that I have much to say. You do have a website. Don't you?

Not anymore. I like, like it's still there, but I took it down because what was I doing with her? Would you like me to put your merch on mine? Yes, and then,

maybe. Well, yeah, if you need more days in your calendar, just put a lazy and Zelda pan. Yes. The sisters. Not even your pen.

Actually, like, that would be kind of an interesting thing of if just like every drag queen had some piece of merch that they were like still sitting on and they were like, well,

it's good together and make a, Drag Advent gallon. That's a good idea. And then you just. Yeah, don't tell those women that they're not going to get a portion of their funds. Yeah, done a lenticular sticker is always fun. Did the Mitch's bitches.

Enamel pin. Which I'm really proud that we got it done. It was so elaborate. So elaborate. So needlessly elaborate. But in the lead up to the drag race. down under season four launch.

We were so, like, I was really, like, dogged on this idea that we needed to find ways of, like, getting people to care about the show again because obviously the sentiments had kind of been like,

oh, it's the worst one. Yeah, exactly. So we're like, let's try and do as much as we can to refresh. So we'd done all this content stuff, and I was like, we should also be the first cast to release, like, a kind of collectible pin all to,

together and then they could all kind of function together if you got them all. And then it would be a fun way of driving people to the Eliminated Queen's website and help her kind of like if, if every like, you know, that way, even if you only liked one of the girls or whatever, it would, and you had a sense of completism, you could go there. But in actuality, it was just a real son of a bitch to get it all done because I was in Italy as well for Benign's wedding. and we had to get the design sent off so that it could in any way be ready

by the time we had the premiere brunch and it was all bespoke packaging all like with photos and details about all of the girls in their promo looks which was kind of hard to get all the girls signed on for and then got everyone signed on got everyone like da-da-da then got it sent off somehow got it manufactured in time

somehow got it arrived at the right place, got it in Sydney for the premiere. And then I remember coming down on the premiere brunch day. And there was like torn up packaging on the table from where the like TikTok influences had been sitting. Where they'd just been like picked up their little pin and been like, oh, yeah, whatever. And then like started ripping the paper to shreds. And I was just like, my beautiful word. I was like, what the fuck. And then I think in the ideal world, we should have just had them all for sale in one location.

but the kind of point was that it was meant to be sending people to all these different drag queens websites. Yeah. So it kind of was like, and then it would have just been me sending out all these drag queens merch and I was like very eager for the girls to have the responsibility then. But I think at least all of the girls have sold, had sold enough that it completely absorbed the cost of producing them.

Yeah. And Miss Mandy Moves has sold entirely all of, That's good. Yeah. Yeah. My favorite piece of merch of yours was from when you did drag expo, whatever, in Sydney as the little butcher woman. And you had the severed finger. Which I still have a few of.

I need to bust a few of those out. I do like meat trays with the sever finger. Don't actually have one. I need to get one. Well, I still have a few little one. Yeah. Yeah, that was like, there's a few of those times where you're like heading into those events.

You're like, I want to do like a few little bespoke things that are quite easy to generate, but like not like they're just kind of weird silly things. Yeah. But thank you. That's cool. And doing the lookbook was so fun. That was so chic and good. Oh, I've got that.

It's such a fun time. It's on my coffee table at home, the lazy book. And I definitely went balls to the war because I wanted all the fun print things you could get. I wanted scratch and sniff. A scratch and sniff. if I wanted lenticular sticker, I wanted some sample of the fabric that we'd use for the color changing dress,

a business card from She-Devil, the UV, like, coding for the lazy text on the front. So it was like all yellow, but the word lazy was reflective. And then like a foiling in gold on the back. That's my dream. But yeah, those were, I feel like all the time with that sort of merch,

it's like, you have the idea, And then you're like, shit, I better fucking hurry up because it actually needs to be done now. So that was a bit of a rush. But love a good piece of merchandise. Yes. I've just gotten my new fans done, my new clack fan, which is the first clack fan that I've ever done. But I was waiting for the time to be right. And now it finally has been.

Just in time for winter. Yeah, literally. But hopefully in three or five years time when drag race down under versus the world, comes out, it will be warm. Yeah. Are they coming? Those fans? They're here.

Oh, they are here. I just haven't started selling them yet. Are you allowed to, do you even know when? No, no. I actually have zero information. I'm so excited for it. It's going to be good. I tell you what, as someone who, like, unless they change the edit entirely, the girls

had done such a good job. It felt like a really interesting dynamic cast as well. I think that like the fear is that you're going to have like a down under versus the world and like the kind of a listy or even like the more interesting queens aren't going to show up. And then like I feel like the whole cast, they just did such a good job of curating really interesting queens that had a fun dynamic and put together quite well. So I'm really excited, but it's taken for fucking ever. Yeah. Yeah. So we'll see.

When that happens, listener, we'll do viewing. parties again, I'm sure. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, which would be so fun. And I'll just be like sitting there silently knowing that if I say anything, it could be recorded and put somewhere where I could imperil my future employability.

True. Yeah. Hmm. I don't know. So what merch goes into the bunker? Well, I mean, we don't have to restrict it to such things. I mean, like, obviously. We haven't talked about Jurassic Park merch yet.

I like free merch that comes with like the release of something. I'm not sure about the new popcorn bucket trend. Oh. Have you guys gotten any of those big popcorn buckets that are like the cinemas put out? No, but I'm fascinated by them. I am so like the ones that I'm like, I love anything where it's like, like, you know, everyone has to produce something in the same kind of form factor or with the same use, but for different films.

So it's like the Marty Supreme 824. ping pong ball bucket is very cute um yeah is it a ping pong bowl bucket it's a sphere with like a little latch that has apparently not a huge it could only fit a small popcorn yeah i often wonder about the how practical it is to eat popcorn out of you know a big plastic yeah handbag or you know like yeah what was the devil always pride of popcorn bucket i think it was a ham big handbag was it a handbag oh it should have been a big shoe Well, right? And then do you, how do you wash it?

Yeah. Covered in grease. Hmm. There's that like. Yeah, it was a handbag. It looks cool. There's that donkey dick guy in Melbourne who fucks all those buckets. Yeah, the, um, June 2.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I felt sad for him because it seems like he got locked into that. He fucked the sort of, he fucked a tub of peanut butter last week. That feels more regular. That feels like the, nature is healing. He puts it in all sorts of things.

I think he would find it liberating. I don't know. He's found a niche. That's the thing. I'm like, I think it's, because I, that meme of him fucking the doon bucket

became so like viral. Yeah. That like anything that gets a whiff of virality online, it's like the person who does it is like, oh shit. That's the standard there. Now I have to be. He fucked a Christmas tree.

He fucked a Christmas tree. Yeah, I think. A skeleton toy? Yeah, for Halloween. A Skellington? Yes, the Skellington. What other movie releases did he fuck?

I'm trying to think. What other merch? Oh, I can't recall. But he fucks all sorts of sorts of. Sometimes he fucks people. Yeah. Are you sure they're people? They might just be.

They might be really good merch. He's like, something about fucking you makes me really hungry for popcorn. But I think he has a really good sense of humor. Totally. So I don't think he would be pressed about it. Yeah. Because he's also fucking gorgeous. He could just stop.

He could fuck anything. He could fuck anything. Yeah. Although I have messaged him on grandeur and can't confirm he's not interested. So not anything. Perhaps if you're a promotional material release. We'll see what happens when I get on Dr. I remember seeing him at the club.

Yeah. And he seemed very shy. Yeah, he seems like a really sweet guy. I didn't say sweet. Well. Shyness is not a virtual. Oh my God. No, he seemed very to himself.

And I was like, oh, I hope you're okay. Fucking that dune bucket. Anyway, but I do, like, there is this scene in Jurassic Park where, like, the kids have, like, returned to the visitor center and Lex is eating her green jelly. Yeah. But they kind of, like, walk through as everything's, like, out of hours because they're in the middle of a significant event. And there are these brilliant shots of all the merch that are in the actual Jurassic Park.

Like shop. And as a child, wow, the things that I saw in that shop is what I wanted. But of course, you don't get that offering. And even when you go to Universal Studios, like the Harry Potter of it all, unfortunately does this really well like those stores in world things like the chocolate frogs or whatever like all that packaging it's all so well done um but yeah i've yet to really find to the dreswick park store that met that fantasy yeah yeah just too late but i did have that cool bottle of true blood for a long time and that was just a real line in the sand moment for

for in-world merchandise when the true blood bottles came out. I feel like it was just hot, hot property. Yeah, I bought mine from Dimmix and I had it in the cupboard for about five years until I finally was like, what the fuck? There is my most,

one of my most prize possessions that was gifted to Mui, I think around my 17th birthday, which is the smush-faced wax lion that was released as part of promotional materials for the TV, the short-lived 13 episodes, show

Wonderfuls and I love that smush face wax line go and watch that show it's about a woman who starts getting spoken to by

anything with an animal's face I love that show it's so good you know that show? Yeah it's a Brian Fuller and did Pushing Daisies

Hannibal Hannibal you know Oh Hannibal yeah How did you miss Pushing Daisy Pushing

Daisy with Lee Pace Oh One of my favourite All-time favourite TV shows So good Pushing dais Pushing dais

Pushing dais Yeah Maybe I sure Ellen Green Yeah Ellen Green is the The auntie But yeah

A man who Whenever he touches something Yeah That is dead It comes back to life Cool But then if he touches it again It dies forever

Oh And if it stays alive For longer than a minute Something else will die in its place Yes Oh, so it's not just your back, baby. It's a trade. Yeah.

But he uses it to start solving crimes. Oh. Yeah. Cool. It's a good time. What about like a speck of gold floating in a vial of liquid from Sovereign Hill? I do love that. That's very like formative.

Excursion era. How do you know Sovereign Hill? I had a childhood. Yeah, but that's so funny that that crosses state lines. Yeah, that's very cool. Yeah. Or Shucks tooth from the aquarium. But you can only get that if you do the two-day school holiday program.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's good. I like a giant firm finger, but they're never big enough. Big enough for what? See, Matt, this is what I'm talking about. Yeah. This is what I'm fucking talking about. When I was a child, we went to the Northern Territory.

And I got a, like a widebrim hat with a net. Not corks, but like an actual net. And it says on the top, what flies? That's good. I guess there was so many flies. On a camera of the flies. I like that. And that's what merch of NT.

I guess, yeah. Yeah. Fly merch. Yeah, fly merch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I now I'm quite envious of this fly net because I do love my Rottness Island, like wide brimmed hat. You do. Things I was wearing it this morning. Yeah. What were you doing this morning in a hat?

I had to mow the front loud. You still got the lawn, huh? Yeah. Oh, God. It's just, uh, yeah. I don't know about that. Oh, well. Have I made that known?

Yeah, I think so. I just think something else could go there. Oh, my God. Do you think if you planted a tree? Yeah. Every, like, you know, a few meters in your lawn. Uh-huh. That the landlord would be unhappy.

I don't, I can't get the pulse on my landlord. I've never met them, but I don't know. Like, it feels very, very detached. Yeah. Like, I just think my rent increase last year of $16.32. Oh. Was just the most peculiar thing. thing like industry minimum yeah or something yeah but like i was glad like thank fuck but that is so

weird the rent increased stuff below my mind what do you mean leave me alone yeah we agreed to this yeah just because six to 12 months of past doesn't mean that i want to pay you more well you know the house has only gotten worse in that time yes i've lived here i've destroyed everything but it's like those rent control apartments. You're like, why don't we have that system? Yeah. Well, you're not allowed to put up the rent because that's how the rent is going to fucking be.

Yeah. Because I got in the ground floor. Yeah. Anyway. Which merch? Thank you. Matt, do you have anything to say about merch? I've done a bit of merch in my time.

Some CDs. Some vinyl. Vinyl. I have your orca vinyl. Yeah. You bought one. T-shirts. So cute that you did that.

I think I did a post about it a few years ago. Amazing. Did you come up to the show? Oh, of course. Did you enjoy it? It's, yeah. Orca's really good. Thank you.

That's a very talented boy. I have a few vinyals still taking up most of the spare cupboard in the spare room. So please. If you want me to put them on my website. Put one in your ad band. The house gets 10%. Yeah, I really want to get rid of them. So if you want one, I'll send it to you.

That's not how you sell, Matt. I don't care anymore. Come on, speak it up. It's Collectors edition. We're having another baby and I need to get rid of them. You're not going to put the baby in the closet, are you? That's its bedroom. Closet under the stairs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We have some exciting merch launching this Thursday, one singular item that would be available at the live event that I'm uniquely really excited about. Yes. I can't say anything more. But it would be a very stupid, fabulous piece of merch tied to the episode release. Yes. Sounds exciting.

Yeah, very excited for that. Is it going to be like a single piece worth like $10,000? No, it'll be very limited quantity, but there's going to be $5, I believe. Yeah. Cheap and cheerful. Does a giant VHS tape classify as merch? No, unfortunately, that is in the world of promotional materials. You could sell that at the end?

I'm thinking about it because I don't know where the fuck that giant VHS tape is going to go after it has been made. The VHS tape, which is seven foot tall, six foot tall. It was taller than most of you in heels. And how much did it weigh? The case, the matching case. And a matching slip cover to make it look like someone's just pulled out their favorite copy of the Witcher Girls Season 1. They're both using the recycled lump. and

MDF board from the shoot from the Zelda room set which we ended up all back at my house I was like oh well this will be pretty easy

and we had a bunch of pink paint left over from the show naturally so it is the weight of like yeah giant two by fours

like brought together to become I guess what is it four by fours yeah they're not outrageous but that you want to be crushed by him. Well, you wouldn't want to have to carry it like a long distance.

And I don't know if like... So, well, I have a story for you. Oh, yes. You might be wondering how I managed to get into the cast after party. I didn't wonder that. I did not question. It just seemed so appropriate. I was like, of course.

I was loitering in the lobby and, you know, your crew was trying to pack down the set. And I said, oh, can I help? And they're like, oh, we'll just carry this over here. So we moved the tape out of the way so they could pack down all the, you know, step and repeat. Yeah. And then I looked over and they were trying to move the case as well. Yeah.

And there was, you know, this gorgeous little diva in a high-heeled shoes trying to carry it walking backwards. Oh, my God. I was like, oh, let me, let me help. Let me, like, I'm sure you're more than capable, but like, I just don't want you to trip over. Yeah. And so I took it.

And then I thought we were just going to be moving it like a few feet. And then he's like, we're just going down the stairs. Oh, my God. And so we carried it downstairs. He's like, well, we actually just have to go around the corner. So me and me and this lovely director guy were walking like down the street, across the tram tracks. Oh, my God. Down Burke Street.

It was a full pilgrimage from the capital. Yeah. Giant case. Great promo. Yeah, well that was the vision. We had been like, we want to do a procession through the streets of Melbourne, but like by the time it got to that time, we're like,

oh well, I think that they're going and then like kind of inadvertently became still a beautiful procession, but obviously just roping in. And then we had to carry it up three flights of stairs at the Comedy Republic. And I was sweating profusely. That's crazy. You did an amazing job though.

And I was rewarded. Kairn got me an espresso martini as well. Oh, see, that is very kind. And you got the privilege of going to the after party, the absolute joy. The funnest time and down. Proud surprisingly, Star-Suttered premiere. Yeah. I was like, I didn't.

Hannah Gatsby. Yeah, I didn't. I had clocked that Hannah had come. Zoe Coonsma was there. It was very chic. I was like, oh, wow. Thank you for coming.

You were like that. And then Evel. Yeah. Hello. Representing Adelaide. Yeah, truly. Someone has to. Merch.

Merch. I mean, I do like merch that comes with a K-Zone magazine. Oh. I do like Happy Meal Toys, the merch of McDonald's. Yeah. That's true. That's a good time. I don't know.

I'm going to say our tarot cards. Fuck. I was going to say the Sovereign Hill Gold Dust. Because that's such a funny. thing. I mean, that's good too. But you did spend a ludicrous amount of time putting those fabulous objects together. Perhaps in

listening to this, someone listening decides to order their tarot cards at the witchygolds.com. Now let's just put in the sovereign hill. Now that we've done it. The tarot cards haven't even arrived yet, so. I know. Maybe once they arrive, we'll put them in,

but for now, we'll do the sovereign hill. A speck of gold floating in a vile of liquid. The man's hat. Do we think, just quickly, that wasn't it, wasn't it Billy Bob Thornton that wore Angelina's blood around? Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that was inspired by Sovereign Hill?

Yes. Okay. Yes. I just want to check. Obviously. All right. Obviously. We'll be right back.

Totally. To, time. Hello. Hello. back. We're back again. No. Can I, what? Sorry. Sima side, we're back again. Oh no, it's Shangela. I know. Sorry, I can't stop. That song is in my DNA. Yeah. I, we were going to do, listen, let's just be real. If we could just keep it real. We were going to do which thing from the Witcher Girls premiere, but I have a feeling that we've talked quite enough about that event.

So Eval, now you have two topics to throw at us. Oh, no. So whatever the B topic was, give us that right this second. Okay, well, I'll go with, I'll give myself some time to think. Oh, sure. I was going to say, which celebrity chef? Oh. Nigella.

Well, my mind goes to Nigella. Just because she's so, like, beautiful and horny and, you know, like, just the way she talks. And, you know, there were the rumors of the coke addiction, which is also so chic. That is very chic. I mean, she's no two fat ladies, though. That's true.

Which I assume they have names. Yeah. Fat lady one, fat lady two. I just, I'm sorry, I'm looking at the list now. I forgot about Adriana Zumba. Oh, yeah. Zumbos just desserts, which I watch all of in a few things. That's actually so funny.

bring that up. My housemate and I, you know her, Tracy Bean. Yeah. We binge watched Just desserts. And there was this diva. I can't remember her name. Oh my God. It's like Georgie or, I don't know, something like that.

Yeah. But she would always just kind of like start the clock. Yeah. And the time starts now. Yeah. And then she would serve no other purpose. But to kind of float around. Important work.

Yeah. And be like, you know, How you doing? Yeah. All right. And she just has no purpose. That's my dream. Yeah.

And it kind of is what I do on drag rose down on the best of the world. And the time starts now, Queens. I was just struck by in that show. Zumba is such a like phenomenal creator of chocolate sensations. But he's so humble. And despite his Frenchness, seems so polite and kind. I have no idea. Is he French?

He's French. Is he? I thought he was like Italian. Oh, God. This is it. It's over for me. I also love the barefoot contessa. Oh, yes.

She's incredible. What is her name again? Einigarten. She's incredible. How fabulous is that? Like, you know, we just went up to Martha's Vineyard for the last couple of weeks. And we had a few people over to the house and decided it's more. Cheney season. So it's that easy. Jeffrey loves when I make this point. Just what a fabulous woman.

Yeah. And just like a woman who clearly has so many gay friends. That, you know what she looks like. Yeah. That is kind of what Nikki L looks like. Oh, that's incredible. Like she's kind of that high, that, that size and shape and, you know, a little dark kind of like bobby hair. That's very chic. Yeah. I know what you're talking about. And it shows. But I'm also sitting over here in conflict because this question, so obviously this cooking mama. Oh, even better than mama.

An incredible celebrity chef. Yes. But. Oh, you're going to say exactly what you're going to say. The real question comes down to. And the sadness. here is that we're not talking about which chairman gets into the bunker. Because it can't be chairman Kaga from Iron Chef.

Why can't it be? Because he's not a chef. Oh, that's true. He's a chairman. But that leaves us with Hiro Yuki Sakai, Chen Kenichi and has a, what's his name, Hasahari Marimoto. Is he one of the original? Which one is the best one?

Chen obviously has such. Chen Kenichi, he is hilarious. He's like bumbling, nervous, like, always sweating, always like, you know, anxious. And like, smiling. Then, um... Roxabrumichiba is... Is very charismatic. I think he's very, like, calm and confident.

Yes. Maramoto was always my least favorite. I'm just going to say that. Is he, um, the French? Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm like... He's holding the pear.

Yeah. I was like, yeah, it's a bit underwhelming. Yeah. And then there was that Italian one, which he's not in the Republic of line up. Yeah, no, I don't fuck with that. That's not canon for me. And I don't, yeah, I don't know. It's got to be between, I don't know, Chen Kenichi.

I also just love the selection of judges and the voiceovers for them. like, I like what you've done with this. And there's always these like misk Japanese like actors. And they've all been given the same voiceover person for the other. And the women, the women are always like made to seem like the most vapid, giggly, like dumb. Vacant. It tastes like mushroom.

It's like, I don't know that the women were actually saying that. No. But I'll accept the version. that I'd been given. Well, Zelda, I'm also quite disappointed speaking of a voice of it, that you neglected to mention Francis. Oh, cooking with dog. Oh, that's so true.

Ivel, look this up immediately. Cooking with dog. There's a poodle that cooks with a Japanese woman who's a chef. Yes. And they have a YouTube channel, and it's cooking with dog. Cooking with dog. Francis died maybe like five years ago. Yeah.

But the channel continued. Cute. He doesn't. the voiceover. Yeah. Oh, wait, so the dog has a voice. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, the actual chef. Well, no, this might be the issue. He's not really the chef. He's not the chef. He's the sushi. Yeah. I think, like, I've thought about this so many times. I think of the three iron chefs, like,

Kyriuki Sakai is my favorite. I mean, I also, yeah, sorry. You finish your point on this. Because there's a chef that I've watched more than any other chef. Say their name. And despite her slight dalliance with controversy, I believe she remains pure in this world. Is Claire Safetz. Oh, yeah.

Oh, true. Wait, what, um, just when they were having that huge come to Jesus with the test kitchen. The Bon Appetit. Yeah, it was just kind of embroiled in being kind of like racist and in an equal workplace where they paid. white people more and gave them more opportunities and then like and the editor um the it came out he had all these pictures of him at a dress up party and he was dressed as oh he was in black face he was in black face yeah yeah but claire i think extricated herself quite quickly oh yeah and has continued to make fabulous content yeah but one of the things i love about claire

is how stressed out yeah yes and angry and what about what she has to to do her rogue hair. Exactly. Yeah. Very cool. She's woman. And as she cooks in the most fabulous little kitchen. Yeah.

Just in her little apartment. Yeah. What do you think about dessert story? Desert, dessert person. Sorry. Who's dessert? Her book. That was her book.

I just don't like the name of that. You're more than just the dessert person. No, I think it's a reference to like someone's saying, oh, I am a dessert person, like, rather than a savory person, you know? Yeah. How are you. Do you have a dessert. Annie recently said she's like such a cake girl.

Like she's famous for making all the cakes for her friend's birthdays. Yeah. Not in this bunker. Yeah. I was like, I think she is like like, like what do you call it where it's like a misinformation campaign being perpetrated on the public?

Like she's lying. I've known this woman for like almost 10 years. I've never once had a cake that she's eaten. She's never made a cake in my proximity. We've worked together in offices. Yeah. We've worked together on. film set.

She's never made a cake. It was just a double birthday on the witchy girls like Zelda's birthday on the fourth and Kieran's birthday. The cupcakes were made from a cupcake store.

She didn't step in to make the cake. And if you were really a cake person, you'd think that that would be, like she's lying about being a cake person to my face. And it's such a weird thing to lie about. Get her. Kill her.

Annie, why are you lying? She's like, I'm like, she insists on it. I'm such a cake person. I make all the cakes. Bitch, you never made a cake? Maybe, Annie, if you're listening, submit some proof. She was able to pull up one picture of a cake where she'd done some isomalt, which was impressive, fire, you know, tendrils around a cake.

But I was like, prove that this is you. Oh, my God. See, when I was like preschool age, I was obsessed to. with this, I think he was Thai, this Thai chef on ABC called Yan Can Cook. His name was Yan Cane. And so it was Yan Can Cook. And he would like, so charismatic, would chop everything really fast. And yeah, I was obsessed.

I think when you're given the name Yang Can, you have to do something. You have to cook. Yeah. This looks fabulous. And I wanted to be a chef. Like from, you know, maybe age five to five to ten, five to eleven, maybe I want to be a chef. And then I gave up on that dream. And you said, it's time to become a drag queen.

A drag queen. Yeah. I did later go to pastry school. Did you? Yeah. What is it? What? And gave up on that too.

How was that? I got my qualification. Yeah. Got my cert for. Yeah. I can't imagine you quitting something halfway through. No, yeah. I finished it under sufferance.

Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Do you know Miss Jay also went to the Port-a-a-Bla pastry school? Yeah. That's insane. And her pastries are delicious. Cook it nicely. Yeah, yes, exactly.

She was there on Saturday at the Mary's 10th birthday. Incredible. Wait, why was she there? She's just everywhere. She's just everywhere. She is really everywhere. She gets around. Yeah.

We left out Huey. Huey. Hughie, a man who had a long-term contract with a discount supermarket. Bilo. And so he used to do Huey's cooking at benches, which would come on around like 10 o'clock in the morning. Yeah, where he'd be like cooking on the beach, making prawns, man with a big mustache. Suspenders, always. Loved cooking with Campbell's Steal.

stock. Yes. Yes. Heavily salted everything. No, he was cooking for the Australian dads. Yeah. With cholesterol. I did not enjoy that show.

What did you think of Jamie Oliver? Too, like, new agey. This is absolutely pucker. Yeah. I think Jamie Oliver suffers from the Lady Gaga-Idis. You hate the fans. The fan. Like, everyone shut up.

Like, my family were fucking obsessed. with the naked chef. But like the hair has two new face. Never naked. Never naked. Oh, wow, true.

Um, and just like the phenomena that was Jamie Oliver, like is, I mean, fabulous or whatever, but just relax. Chill out. Just too much.

And for what? He's just some guy, very casual, really, unlike Nigella. What about, I mean, he's not going in,

surely, but Gordon Ramsey. We do have to talk about. about Gordon. He's a very charismatic man. Yeah. And he's like, I don't know, I think I see the appeal. I love a man that goes in and yells at people in neon lit restaurants in the Midwest.

You do that all the time. Like, this is not good enough and then hugs them when they cry. And then slaps their head between two pieces of bread. It goes them an idiot sandwich. Oh, so good. That's good TV. But yeah, he really did, like, he stormed American cable television in a way that, like, so few Brits have even dreamt of. Like, he is just in there.

Like, you can still, any time you turn on, like, random cable or in a hotel room, whatever, he's on. He must have made, like, a 10,000 series of kitchen nightmare and everything. It's insane. Ugh. But, yeah, he is compelling, but I don't think he's right temperament for the bunker. No, that's intense. Yeah. Eval, can I just scratch just for a moment?

Do you know who cooking mama is? Even better than Mama? No, I don't. So I think the first game was maybe on GameCube. Oh, I was thinking about the game. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like Nintendo second party.

Never played it, but I've heard of it. I grew up, I grew up poor without video games. God, sorry about that. That's why I am the way I am. Fair enough. But she's quite fabulous. We only had a speck of gold dust in a vial to play with in my house. We say that mother's going to sell it.

The value could only go up. What about Australian like Po? Yeah. Poe. Love Poe. We've got the whole master chef. Extended universe. Yeah, extended universe.

favorite moment like always quoted in my house is Matt Preston throwing the dish onto the floor and saying this is disgusting disgustingly good and like and they set it up so that they could like play it as ad breaks and the teasers and everyone be like oh I can't believe he did that oh my god it must be really bad oh my god and then it was just a misdirect and he was like it's fucking amazing. And I've just thrown it on the floor. And I've just smashed this plate on the floor. And you're like shaking.

It also concerns me how much of the year those people have to be filming in that barn. That's crazy. Who is Stephanie Alexander? And why is her book in every Australian home? It's so thick and rainbow-colored. Stephanie Alexander. Yeah, actually, can't even put a face to the name.

But I'm aware of the book. She's like Maggie. Maggie beer. Maggie beer. I love Maggie beer. She's a local girl. Oh, is she an Adelaideon? She's famously from the Barossa Valley.

Wow. Went to her little restaurant for my birthday a couple of years ago. Was it very expensive? No. Just like very medium price. Oh, and delicious. It was very nice. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Really delicious. Okay, next time we're in Adelaide, we have to go to the Maggie Beer restaurant. Yeah. Because it's like she's got her farm and then the restaurant. amazing. Yeah. She makes all their fig jams and pasts and virgees and things.

I've just started typing in to Google. My search engine. Celeste. Like, I was going to type in, like, celebrity chefs. And I got to Celeb and the recent thing was celebs with big ass. That's going to be my next topic. Yeah. Big Fred As.

Sorry about that. Who was that new thirst trap, like, young star of a TV show who everyone loved. Oh, my God. Was he a young grown-ups or something like that? But he turned out to have, like, no aias and had to do a naked scene recently. And everyone was like, okay, he's got a flat-ass. Yeah, it's controversial. No, I can't think of who that would be.

Yeah, fuck. Is he a celebrity chef? No, and so you're so right. We need to stay on track. Celebrity chef, obviously, who's the celebrity chef? from the Muppets. He's a good guy. Oh, Swedish chef.

Swedish, famously. Swedish chef. Oh, yeah. He's good. I like Mary Berry from, you know, GBB. Yeah. Mary Barry kissing Liza Minnelly? Wait, no.

Oh, wait, wait. Mary Berry? Mary Berry? They're like Southern... Oh, no. What's her name? Paula Dean. Paula Dean.

Paula Dean. I'm thinking Paula Dean. I do, even though... No, she'd be such a, like, maga, such a maga Republican. But I do love that style of cooking that, like, doesn't care. Or a butter. Yeah. Yeah. That's so good.

But, yeah. Hmm. I mean, I think it... I'm happy to do Nigella. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would feel good with the Nigella. I think we need that energy in the bunker. Yeah, that's good.

What's your issue? Hirouki Sakai? Is he as horny as Nigella? He's 84. Oh. So, yeah. So ages them as well. Oh.

No, I mean, as if I'm mad about Nigella. You seem a bit mad about Nigella. I mean, but you know what's fabulous about putting Nigella in? Imagine Fran Dresher and Nigella chit-chatting. Oh, yeah. Because Nigella, Fran Dresher and Bayonetta all have very similar energy. Yeah. So that's actually quite good.

All right. Ravenhead Queen. Yeah. Jolla Lawson. Wraying at the cafeteria. Wait, is she going to have to work at the Wendy's? I mean. Cooking out of the Wendy?

Cooking the dogs. She might. She's turning the dogs. Yeah, it seems crazy to not. Putting them in tins. Yeah. Okay. Keep her busy.

Thank you, Nigella. You are the celebrity chef to join our bunker. Hooray. We'll be right back. Hello and welcome back. It is now time for the first. final category, which is our guest adding something to the bunker that cannot

be rejected, cannot be removed. Trust me, you won't want to reject this. All right. So I've had a few thoughts. Late 2024, Nikki Elle's mother, Aline

Elle, sadly passed away. And I inherited a number of fabulous items from her estate. One of them was a lovely crockery set. There was a little tapestry in a 70s print that was like forever hung in the bathroom at her 70s home.

Yeah. And it says, this toilet self-destructs in 60 seconds. That's cool. And that's the kind of woman that Aileen was, deeply religious. On her deathbed gave me a 30-minute sermon about God. God's plan for me. Oh my God. And how it wasn't too late to, you know.

Be saved. Oh, Jesus. Every opportunity was an opportunity to recruit. Yeah, yeah. But she, you know, she had a, like, very funny, silly sense of humor. That's nice. So I've got the tapestry hanging above my toilet now. Oh.

And I also got a very kitsch mortar and pestle. Yeah. With Mediterranean prints on the side. It says, Artichoke, pepper, basil, that kind of thing. I remember you talking at one point about wanting a mortar and pestle. Yes. Did anyone ever give you a mortar and pestle?

I got two on the same weekend. Fabulous. Yeah, and my boyfriend was very upset because he was like, I'm going to get you a mortar and puzzle. Well, then it won't be the mortar and pestle. No, well, thank you. And the other thing, which I think is the item. I inherited was a little, about a foot long, foot high wooden duck statue.

And the duck is dressed as a chef. Oh. And has a little sign around its neck that says, never trust a skinny cook. And this was in her kitchen. That's incredible. And now it's in my kitchen. And it's just so stupid.

Yeah. But it, you know, it just brings me joy. I think it might be like people coming over to your house for dinner. Not trust me? Yeah. Because I'm just kidding. Yeah. They're like, the wafer the kitchen.

Don't trust the bitch. When I brought it home, my housemate, Tracy Bean, she read it incorrectly from across the room and thought it said, never trust a skinny cock. Which I think also words to live by. Yes, absolutely. Don't trust a skinny dick. I thought you were going to say never trust a stinky chef. Well, imagine if she'd said that. That could be one way to misread that sign.

And imagine the laughter we could have had. I mean it. That's been hilarious. Well, listen. Unfortunately, that didn't happen. That's okay. Anyway, so we're putting in that delightful duck. Is that it?

Yeah. I think that's it. But do you want it to read, never trust a skinny chef or never trust a skinny cock? I think it can say never trust a skinny cock. That's good. And Nigella would get such delight at it. She'd be like, she can have it on the table and she's doing a show each day. Yeah.

That's great. That's good. We do need more things like this. I also like. More knick-knacks. Yes. Yes. Because no one else could put in such an object, you know.

Yeah. We had a, like, me and my friend have known each other since he was like 13 and we often discussed what we would take from him when he died. Is he still with her? He's still alive. He was 13 as well at the time. But it's become like, we're like, well, I'm going to take the portable DVD player. From the bunker?

Literally. And the spider ring. And then he promised it to Bonnie McDonald, which was cool. Quite rude. But, yeah, recently I saw him as we were at this wake together, and I was like, I'm still very excited for when you die. Come and grab all your things. But he'd gotten rid of the DVD player and the ring. Wow.

Quite perplexed. But do discuss with your friends what they will be taking from your house when you die. Yes. Would you like one to seven aquarium, sister? Yeah. I fear there is something so like this person died. Now we have to move in seven aquariums. Yeah, it's unkind.

Like the two feel like intrinsically linked. Oh. Like it feels like they're so deeply associated. Like, yeah. We'll see. We have to move the end. Well, if you die in that giant six foot tank is still not full. You'll be so mad.

I'll be so mad. We moved that tank into your house so long ago. Yeah. And you're like, I'm so excited about this. And then it proceeded to just get new fish tanks, fill them with stuff. And still it just is sitting there empty as if to say, why the fuck did we go and get this giant fish tank for it to sit empty in your house for so many years? But you know what? On top of that, I've got two pop plants and I've got your little Luckness ceramic.

Where would those things be If not on that aquarium Lid? And you might need those aquariums for the scorpions. That's true. If you started keeping scorpions, I wouldn't be mad. Yeah. But as it stands, I am furious.

Okay, well, Eval, you've been a delight as ever. Thank you. Your contributions have been incredible. And you've taught us how to love one day to time. Thank you for having it. Thank you for joining us. And we'll see you next time you'll day in Melbourne with your presence. It'll be sooner rather than later.

Amazing. Well, let us know. We'll have you back anytime. And we'll certainly do a On the Road edition one day from Adelaide. Yes. Yes. I think next year will be a fringe year for us maybe. I think could be good.

Yeah. The Lazy Susan Show. Something like that. I'm just spitballing. Yeah, maybe. The lazy Susan hour with guest. With pinkie. Pinky moon.

Thank you for listening, everyone. Thank you. Bye-bye. Death to everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Lesson. If you have something to say to us, send it to us at death or everyone part of Gmail.com. And won't you support us please at patreon.com. slash death to everyone.

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