Death To Everyone - Death To… Minecraft Mobs, Cozy Things & 2010s Youtube Creators feat. Kergen Angel

Episode Date: May 19, 2025

Welcome back, Listener.I hope you enjoy our ramblings this week with Lazy's husband Kergen Angel! He did such a great job... You'll have to listen to understand!Follow us, won't you? ⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm also winning you A sulangyot you all listeners Sulangyot How are you? How are you? How are you? What are you thinking about? Really? You would say that wouldn't you? How are you? What are you thinking about? Really? You wouldn't say that, wouldn't you? You dirty bird.

Do you know, listener, that I was just called a dairy cow at the local cafe? Yeah. By the waiter. Yeah. And then later she came back and said, you're the potato, right? Of course, she was referring to the baked potato that I'd ordered for lunch, but that's not how it felt. No. And intention doesn't really change. That's right. That's right. You have to deal with the results, the outcome. Yeah. And to correct those, I'd like to say, my name is Elder Moon. My name is elder moon. My name is Derek. How potato cow. Wait, how would you do a cow?

Oh, that was next. Okay. The exact same cow that I did. No. Mm, mm, mm, mm. The voice breaking's good, yeah. Mm, mm, mm she looks exactly like it. Oh, potato potato. And what's your name? I'm lazy Susan, winner of drag race down under season four. Um, yeah. Dancing divas. I introduced myself with that the other week at, um, drunk with power.

I know, but like, you know, like I, you know, try and keep things classy, demure, you know, like Julia Roberts eating a salad in a restaurant. I don't want to be bothered. But I, I was like, Oh, go on. And bitch, they lapped it up. I was like, thank you all so much. My name is Lacey Susan and I am the winner of Drag Race Down Under Season Four. And they were like, they were a jet plane taking off.

They were the Concorde? Yeah. Whoa. Wait, is it called the Concorde? Okay, in New York and London, just 25 minutes. They did not get there in 25 minutes. No, I'm joking. Of course I'm taking this silly.

This is a comedy podcast. We're actually comedy award winners. Sometimes what we say is real and sometimes it's fibs. Fibs. Fibs. Fibs for kids. Fibs indeed. Fibs for kids.

No, that's something else that sounds like that. We also don't wish that upon kids. Okay. Now, this is Death to Everyone, why it's our weekly podcast where we talk about a range of fabulous topics and we put the best of the best of those topics into a doomsday bunker at the end of time, because we are generous and kind. And if you want to know who's speaking right now, this is what my voice sounds like. I'm Lazy Susan.

And this is my voice. I'm Zelda Moon. People always complain that we sound too similar. No one has ever said that. Yes. No. And they always get confused even when space car driver Matt chimes in because he sounds so similar to the two of us.

That's insane. Really? Yeah. I feel like we all have quite distinct voices. Oh, I We're all mad. Telling more SIDS everyone. Now,

SIDS for kids. Um, what? Um, my voice sounds like this. Introduce the guest. Yeah. Oh, getting impatient and bossy Rossy. That was Matt saying that just so you know. If you hear a bossy bitch, you know it's Matt.

She gets all agitated. Oh my God. Oh, blood should have started to drop and she becomes a real tyrant. Oh, and we have to know that also Lazy does, has multiple personalities. Oh, you're bad. So if you hear another voice, it's just Lazy again. Oh, it's just me. Dropping in.

To introduce our special guest for the day. Me too. The husband of Lazy Susan. Yes. Please audience, put your hands guest for the day. Me too. The husband of Lady Susan. Yes. Please, audience, put your hands together for Kurjan. That's so sweet. Oh, hello, listener. I am also previously a listener and now I guess, I don't know,

I've transcended into the space car, but for a moment. But for a vision. And I'm husband to Kurjan as I go by now when I'm in the presence of Lazy Susan. Well, do you know what I have to say is that, well, thank you for coming for one. Oh, no, thank you for inviting me. It's such a pleasure to be here.

I appreciate it so much. But I also, listener, I have to explain something to you, listener, explicitly. I dream to one day be the First Lady of Australia, and as such, I will not incriminate my husband by leaving audio trails that destroy his future political career that I know he'll have. So this episode, we're going to make sure that he doesn't do anything that could undermine him running for a seat in the, you know, local council, local council, and then one day becoming prime minister so I can go to the governor's bowl and make snide remarks. Oh, they let anyone in here do that.

Oh. Okay. I thank you, husband, that's very kind. Yeah. I've got no intentions of running anywhere anytime soon. Except running away. Except running. I can barely walk.

But I do feel on my trip here, I felt a little bit like the ancient Greeks might on their visit to see the Oracle of Delphi before some incredible war or conquest or political decision. And I was filled with the nerves of what I might uncover. And what I did want to share with you both is just some of my podcast fear, if I can. Fear? And name that. Name your fear and we'll move on.

Can I name some of my fears? Anxiety. You know what, what you said about that. Wait, have you written them down? I have written them down. But I do distinctly want to say this is an anxiety, this is fear. Anxiety comes from the prefrontal cortex, I would say. Fear is something much more primal and Well, fear is the mind killer. Correct.

Deeper in the hippocampus. And what I feel is fear. Don't bring the hippocampus in here. Leave her out of this. So I've got, I've got a couple of fears and I'll share them and no priority order. Yeah. Um, my first is what if I get cancelled? Yes.

Well, that one is top of, top of mind. Top of mind for all of us. We'll all be canceled already, so. Well, you can't, as Louis Fattel says, you cannot be canceled if you were never scheduled. And last time I wasn't scheduled, I was just thrust into this microphone. No, a little cameo. A little potluck cameo. That was a little, like that was a taster.

It's what they, like, you know, when they have that one episode of Sabrina, that was all about, um, you know, another, you know, another person's life about the younger, young cousin of Sabrina. And, um, if the audience took to it, then they would spin that off into a whole show. And we cameo'd you on one episode. And then we were like, uh, Zena on Hercules. Yes. Exactly.

Why was it not Angel from Buffy? Well, yes, that's true. You are Angel on Buffy? I'm Angel on Buffy. But no, normally it'd be like one episode. Yeah, Angel was kicking around from time to time. But so you got your one episode and then we heard great feedback from audience members. Did we?

Well, Nikita. Okay. And she said, I loved hearing from that husband of yours. Oh. And she said, I loved hearing from that husband of yours. And I said, well, you know what? Despite my reservations about destroying his life in the public eye, I will allow him. It's a good one. It doesn't have an identifiable name.

No, that's it. That's it. No. We're obviously using a made up name. Oh. I will get to my name in a moment because that's one of my fears. What if I'm not as cool as and I really hope you beeped that. Ah, other guests. Yes. Because inevitably one of them will create a chart ranking all of the guests

that you've had on debt to everyone. Yeah, the name's Evel. Yeah, Evel will probably do that. That's her delegated task. Well, she knows she can't do it because that's a delegated task from a solicitor well she knows she can't do it because she was a guest she's biased she's joned by it maybe she'll be at the top of the list it is quite she was our most lip and wow most lip and lip most listen to episode of that ya yeah true yeah wow yeah i didn't know that about one of the listeners yeah so what you don't want to rank last no i don't want to rank last? No, I don't want to rank last. And that's one of my fears. Don't worry.

You'll do better than me. A primal fear. Than who? I have a deep, deep fear of what if I can't think of a cool, funny and whimsical story for each category? That would be relatable. Yes. And living with my husband, like I think in my day to day life, I would say, I would put

out there into the universe that I'm quite funny. I think I'm a funny human being. And then every day that I live with my husband, who is professionally funny sometimes, I feel constantly like, oh, I wish I was as creative and clever and funny as my delightful beautiful lovely husband Yeah, that's the kind and it's slowly eroding my ego and soul, but that's okay. Yeah, I'll do it for love That's also a relatable experience But you know what the moon does well gets eclipsed Well in this version and a giant burning ball of gas that will someday die. The moon is forever.

Ah, cold. The moon is forever. Um, my next, I'm seeing the dark side of the moon. My next fear is so many. What if, because I'm here and never finished my economics essay and I fail my degree. Well, you know, welcome. It's okay.

You'll only be here for 24 hours. Yeah, it's a 36. Five nights at Freddy's. And then I've got one last for you. And that is, um, which I wrote on the tram here, uh, heading up to the, uh, prophets, the oracles of Delphi up the mountain. Um, and that is what if I didn't hide my McDonald's muffin bag from my husband at home and he knows I had a little treat this morning and then

languishes me for it. Language? Yes. I didn't. Language? Language? Language. Language.

Um, and we already had hencho and Mexico last night, late at night. I know. Hensho. You always call it Hensho. Oh yeah, there's Hensho and Mexico. What else would it be? Hensho and language. I feel like you've got to name your fears.

That's it, they're named. What are you going to call it? Margaret? Joan? Tilly? Don't be silly. Don't be silly, vote for Tilly. Quaalude?

And Brackish. Oh, don't be silly. Don't be silly, vote for Tilly. Quailood and... Brackish. Brackish water. Well, that is very sweet, to which I say all of those are stupid. Don't worry about it. You don't feel fear right now, do you? I would say, I feel fear. Sweat dripping off your nose. What I don't feel very often, I don't think I get very stressed or anxious very easily,

but fear I feel. Wait. What a delight. Right. You don't have fear. No. But you have anxiety. Yeah.

Yes. Yeah. Interesting. In a way that you need to get checked out, Zelda movie. Yeah, probably. We're not diagnosing here. And why have you got these therapy couches out? This is a group therapy session.

We're here to mediate. No one is learning here. No one is getting better. If she cures her anxiety, what do you think will happen to the pod? There's a dynamic at play here. We're all getting worse, if anything. That's right. Matt's getting sassier, that's for sure. Cures her anxiety. What do you think will happen to the pod? We're all getting worse. If anything, that's right. Matt's getting sassier. That's for sure.

We've ruined this person. Matt used to be a kind boy. Yeah, I was kind. And now he's an awful man. He's a real bitch. You know what Matt said to me earlier out of the back in the kitchen? It was all play. I asked, is this, is this where you expected to be in your thirties, which is Do you know what Matt said to me earlier? At the back in the kitchen? It was all play.

I asked, is this, is this where you expected to be in your thirties? Which is a general and kind question. Me? How? Matt looked at me while he was stirring his chai latte that he was making for everyone and looked at the celestial goddesses sitting here in the recording studio and said, what, making chai for these gays? Which was the old line from White Lotus. And I'll have you know, he was gazing upon me and Zelda sitting five meters apart, sending photos of Katy Perry to each other in silence.

Just a little. And then a little, aww. I've become very fond of you all. Oh, I've grown accustomed to your face. I love making chai for you all. Ben Buggy chai. You, you did us like White Lotus again. You made us the pina colada.

What? Sorry, if you hear the sound of someone choking and immediately think someone's getting dicked down, I'm not letting you go back to CPR training. Sorry, if you hear the sound of someone choking and immediately thinks I was getting dicked down, I'm not letting you go back to CPR training. Oh, Rastasa Anna, you little slut. That's not what the arm is for. Did you know that that CPR doll is based off like, like an unidentified prostitute from like the 1600s.

Sex worker. 1600s. Please. How did they get a... Sorry, I've laced one of my fears. It's one of my fears. Sex workers, go for her now. Well, if it's time accurate, does that change it?

Oh, like Jack the Rickford. Yeah. No, I don't think so. Oh, okay. No. You know, Mary Magdalene, famed sex worker. Yeah. Well, sorry to the sex worker community out there. That's okay.

And the CPR community. Oh my God. Do you know Dr. ABCDEFG? Yeah. What does the EFG stand for? Every time. Every fucking goddamn time. Just keep going.

Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had to keep going. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever had to give CPR? No, but I've been trained twice now. Me? I've been trained and trained and if someone was choking on a tick in front of me, I couldn't help them. No. My key takeaway is don't stop and also if you break a rib, keep going.

And also you're going rib, keep going. And also you're going to get really tired. Yeah. And like they love, those paramedics love to be like, you know, my friend, like Jacinta was doing it for 45 minutes once. You're like, why? Until the ambulance arrived. So I was watching, I was watching the pit the other day.

The pit? The pit. And like the whole series is like, It's ER. Every hour in like an ER for a day. And it's like 8 a.m., so like second episode, and this junior doctor is like, Oh wait, is it real time? I think so.

Wow, that's fun. And the junior doctor is like doing CPR on this patient that he does not want to die, but is clearly like far gone like 45 minutes ago. And he's like doing CPR for like patient that he does not want to die but is clearly like far gone like 45 minutes ago and he's like doing CPR for like 10-20 minutes and I was like my love if you're here for the full day like you're gonna need a nananap directly after this. Yeah true. Episode someone off the pit is just gonna be him sleeping. Yes. Um that's fun. I should watch The Pit. Those gays from Gatekeeping loved it. Um... Gate...

Gate... Sam and James. Sam and James. I remember their names. Sam and James. Um... Gate... I... Okay, so I have a little... Peter's Gate.

I have a quick story about that Gatekeeping episode that I did. Yeah. That I didn't think I was going to reveal. Obviously, this is a while ago now, so I feel safe. Any fresh listeners from Gatekeeping, this is the truth. When I got booked to do the Gatekeeping podcast, I asked, is it a filmed podcast or is it... Oh, gosh. Listener. She's going for it. Yeah. And I was like, well, they're like, yeah, we film it. I was like, okay.

And they're like, you don't have to get in drag. If I were James and the Sam right now, I would be sweating listening to this. Yeah, they cancel it. No. James and the Samurai? If you ever heard James and the Samurai, would you listen to that podcast? I love that movie. James and the Giant Samurai. Yes. Anyway, so then I was like, oh, but I hate, I don't want to set a precedent here by saying something I'm going to want to take back later, but I just hate when drag queens show up on shows

or things as guests out of drag. Yeah. I want to imagine that Lazy Susan is just a full-time gal. Yeah. Like there's a woman out there called Lazy Susan, she just shows up sometimes on podcasts. And if she's booked, then she should be there. Not Robbie. So I was like, okay, so I'm going to show... And like also I'm like, I haven't done that many podcasts. So this would be the third guest appearance on a podcast. So I can still put effort in.

My husband is having active heartburn right now. Sorry, listener. Um, so I got in drag, I got up at like nine in the morning. Like the crack of dawn. It was crazy. I don't know that the morning is the same thing as the crack of dawn. In our household, Zelda. So, oh, couldn't, yeah, I was going to hoe in the morning is the same thing as the crack of dawn. In our households, are they? Yeah. So, I couldn't, yeah, I was going to hoe in the fields and things.

But then I got in drag. They're not called hoes in fields anymore. They're called prostitutes. I mean, sex workers, fuck. And so then I got in drag, got in my outfit, got in the car, drove, went to their house, walked down the street, full glaring sun. And when I got there, they were like, oh my God, you're in drag. And the shame and horror I felt in that moment showing up to someone's house for something

that they were like, this is a casual podcast, you do not need to do all that. And so I was like, Oh, wow. I've got to do a few things later. I was like a good save. Covered it. I'm sounding like I'm doing cameos or little video things. I didn't have anything to do later. I was in drag for the podcast.

Yeah. That was the only reason I was in drag. Had to push your Pinocchio's back later. But push your Pinocchio nose back later. What? As it was growing, as you lied. So my husband is currently experiencing major heartburn and seldom runes having a stroke. And I'm going to have to do CPR to both.

Anyway, so then we filmed the whole podcast in their lounge room. It was fun. I had a great time. It was a blast. We actually did have a great time talking about the pit and other things. And then as James, I believe it was James, pressed pause and like save on the quick time video that was like recording the pod, like something happened and it vanished and Jesus was like, Oh my God, this has never happened before. recording the pod, like something happened and it vanished.

And Jesus was like, oh my God, this has never happened before, I'm so sorry, but it's gone. And then Sam came over and was like, what do you mean it's gone? Oh my God. And I was like, what? They're like, it just, like, and I was like, oh, that's okay, that's okay.

Oh, that's kind of, listen, I've just addressed like this. I've got things to do. I'm actually a woman that just exists in the world. I just exist like this. Anyway, oh yeah, and then they're like, oh, that's, I mean, like, and I was like, oh, do you want to, do you want to record a quick opening? Just being like, you know, this is, oh, know, this is lazy on the pod this week. And they're like, Oh no, that's fine.

We'll just do audio. So much slurping in your impression of these guys. I'm doing an impression of me. Nobody started doing CPR on you. And then I was like, And then I was like, oh. That was so funny. That was so funny. You kind of encouraged me.

Thank you. That's nice to get some positive feedback. Normally you just get whipped from the back. I do. And the front. There's one of your fears, this as well. What, joining in on whipping that? Anyway, so then I left and they put up the podcast and I pretended like it was completely fine and I was dying inside.

Oh yeah. I couldn't believe it. I would have gone back and set the apartment building on fire. I did do that. I did do that. You don't want a video episode? You're going to never have one again. That's right.

Well, the news is going to make a video episode of your fucking house on fire. Now you're encouraging laughter from Matt? Everyone piped down, including the hyenas in the back. Do you know what I got told as well at lunch by my husband just prior to this podcast? I got told that he thinks that I have an inauthentic laugh. No, no, no. That is to clarify, to clarify. It's good that you're here to defend yourself. Thank God.

Oh, you mean lazy. I am so often misrepresented. I am so often misrepresent. You're a bitch. You're a bloody bitch, you know. Anyway, so then I set the house on fire. Anyway, so then I set the house on fire. No, I was, you were saying,

Robbie like makes fun of my laugh sometimes. Which you do. I do indeed, but only a very specific laugh. It is not this laugh that you're hearing now, listener, which is an authentic, Kurjan original, actual TM laugh. It's when you do this like fake laugh that's like I can't even get out the words this is so funny. What's so disappointing about hearing this publicly? You brought it up. I brought it up. I didn't want to do this. I have never once laughed inauthentically. That is a lie.

I've never laughed once inauthentically. You have to understand that. I just saw you at Easter with my family. Who are funny people. You didn't find all those jokes funny. And the laugh that I'm referring to, which you imitate, is when you make me laugh so hard that I cannot make a sound.

And then you start like, like I'm, I'm, I'm a wheezer listener. Like I wheeze when I laugh really hard. He's a wheezer, Jerry. And then Lazy is like, you sound like this. Jigsie laughs harder. And it has been what? Into our third year of marriage that you finally shared this. Shared this with me.

Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, now I know that it was a real laugh and I'll take it all back. Year three? You know, he says third year. We're in the third year. Yes. But we're actually two years.

Two years and one day. Yes. Three months. Um, one one day. Three months. One of us just to count. Are you also like seven and three months? I am 27 and nine days. Can you believe? Can I share one final fear with everyone, please?

More fears. More fears? Oh no, he's gonna take us back. My last fear is that I was told at a club last night that Emily, if you're out there, if you're listening, that you fear that I hated you. And I just wanna put on the record, I don't hate you. Emily didn't say what? For anyone who fears that I hate them, I do not hate them, and you are forgiven.

To clarify again, Emily did not say that she thought you hated her. She said, how could I hold onto your slides for you after the way your husband treated me this evening? That's distinct from that. She was saying that she was victimized by you, not that she hates you. She is forgiven. Oh my Lord. Yeah.

As is everyone else. Oh, that's good. That's a Jesus. Yes. So I'm just going on the record and making my statements. That's good. That's good. That's good. Yes. Your favorite Itada Hikaru song would be Face My Fears. Let me face, let me face, let me face my fears. Which I ungraciously forced Benign Girl and Lacey Susan to perform with me once.

It was great. It was good. I don't like that. I miss performing. Let's wear the day. Let me face, let me face. Okay, Kurjan. Yes. Let's wear the name. Let me face, let me face. Okay, Kurjan, I do, I was going to say that we owe the listener this, but we absolutely do not owe them anything actually.

But I think they would love to hear the origin story of your name. No, I have to do this one correctly. So- Yeah, well don't fake it like you're laughing. Well listener, there's context behind that sigh, but I'll come to that sigh after I explain the origin story. Is it the life of having to answer this question? So my parents are hippies, but educated hippies.

So they argue that if scientifically, if biologically, Zelda, you just copied me taking my shoes off. Yeah, you look so comfy. Oh, I am in my pink socks. Biologically, you are 50% of both your parents, then you are physically a reincarnation of them. And then if that is the case, then spiritually, you are 50% of a reincarnation of both of them as well. So to demonstrate this, my mum and dad, whose names are Kerry and Jenis, you can decide which one's my mum and which one's my dad.

And merged their names together to make Kurjun. And then my sister, shout out to Jack. I got all the remaining letters scrambled up and added few and that's her name now and they wanted my name to be... Wait, her name is Jack? Her name is Jack. They wanted my name to be no space, no first last name, all first name. I'm Kurjan angel and for it to be pronounced like that. But when they told the hospital after I was born that that's what they wanted to put it...

They called the police! The birth certificate. Protective services. The hospital administrators said, we cannot name your child that. What we can do, however, if you would really like to go down this path, is your child's name can be

Kurjan Angel, first name, for asterixks last name. And they, they genuinely, genuinely considered that as an option. Try doing that in calligraphy on a wedding invitation. As in four asterisks as in like the symbol asterisks or like the words. Not the famous bisexual asterisks. The, the symbols asterisks. The symbols asterisks. Four of them.

Four of them in a row as my last name. Wow. And which is really hard to do initials for. Okay, asterisks. Then finally somehow someone talked them back from the edge and they split my name up into Kurjan Angel. And that's how I am here today. But my sigh, wait, do you have any questions?

Elder? No. Good. I'll move on. I couldn't. Yes. And, but not, um, Robbie has heard this a thousand times and I think it's starting to understand what it is like to not have normie name privilege, but

my name is literally lazy. Oh, sorry. How do you think it feels? But I get asked this question of what's the origin of your name two to three times on average per day. Yeah. Per day. Per day.

Would you disagree, lazy? It's every day. It's every? Lazy? It's every day. It's every day, bro. It's cooked. It is cooked. Wow. And I think because I am who I am, but you like it. I don't like getting asked the question anymore.

You like over it, but you can change your name anytime. Just to what would I change it to? I don't mind. I've always wanted to be called Benji. I say that for you. You'd be a great Benji. Yes. But what would happen when people start to call you Benny?

I wouldn't like that. Do you know that there was a guy at my school who was an absolute delight, whose name was Benny. Yeah. But he had a stutter. And there's a song that goes, but Benny and the Jets. That's unfortunate. You know, sometimes God gives with both hands. Ones an offering and ones a slap. You know, sometimes God gives with both hands.

Ones an offering and ones a slap. No, both of them are a stutterer in the name Benny. Okay. Wow. So, there you go. There it is. It's actually why I agreed to come on this podcast. Just to clear the air.

Just to clear the air so that every future hospitality staff who ever takes my coffee order and asks for name for that coffee, never asks again. Can you just send them this episode? Well, no, there's an alarming amount of Melbourne baristas who listen to this. Oh, yeah. We have it covered. Excellent. Yep. Oh, my tum tum.

Look at another guest. Oh my god, my tummy's growling. Hello down there. I don't know if I'm celiac or what. Jesus Christ. I am waiting. He can't help you now, sweetheart. I'm really hoping that halfway through this episode,

that giant fuck off coffee milkshake that Zelda Moon devoured comes to life. Devoured? I sipped it. You potato cow. Jeez! Wait, what happens to my milkshake coffee? It's just so much milk in your tum tum. You had the same amount of milk.

I had almond milk and it was a strawberry milkshake. Well, yeah, but I had mine in self-respect. I don't need you fighting like this. Us? Yeah. You can't even decide. Please give me to a towel roar. Someone's just trying to sleep.

Oh my gosh. No, bad. I'm bad, but I'm going out later on the prowl. Dancing in a towel. Can you tell us, Kurjan, about the Gobble Ghost? Oh my gosh. What more do you need now? I feel like the Gobble Ghost was put into infamy forever.

What many... It's actually been two years or a year and a half. Since you were gobbled by that ghost. Since I was gobbled by the ghost. It's time for new listeners that we've gained since my husband won Drag Race down under season four Oh, you know, we discover the gilber ghost Oh, we'll also all the new listeners that I brought to the podcast after my trivia at the botanic garden Think you would have said that I was going to but you interrupted these elders you want to do

You interrupted me Zelda as you want to do Strip that compliment for you away from me Bazinga she got you girl. Yes What's the question? I just so for new listeners, the Gobble Ghost is this guy on Grindr up in Darwin, who meets you on a park bench in the middle of the night. Not a bench in my imagination. It's a bench. No, I was actually there.

No, it's over. You were there for the story. I was like, oh my God. No, I was there when the story was being told. Yes. By that poor gay to your gay friends. Yes. Yeah.

And he meets you on this park bench. No, he's wafting in the middle of a field. He's wafting up to you on the park bench, but the bench is important for the story. Why? Because then you're sitting on the bench and he drapes the sheet over your lap. And then he gets to gobbling and then, um.

So it's covered in a sheet. Covered in a sheet. And, um, I've never been gobbled by the ghost. It was only told through story, but I've heard it multiple times from different gays in Darwin that this is in fact a true and correct story. But the thing that I really want to reiterate for any listeners who haven't traveled up to the northern parts of Australia is it's really fucking humid. It is so humid.

It is. It is. You are so sweaty all the time. You better hope that it's a breathable cotton. And I cannot imagine that there's any cotton anywhere in the world that is breathable enough to not make that the most damp, moist, disgusting underside of that sheet. What do you want to dry gobble? You've ever experienced?

Salty, sweaty, gobby cum. Some talcum powder in there. BYO talc. Does that scratch your itch, Zelda? No, I just wish it had. Does it whet your appetite? I wish you'd been gobbled. I wish someone in this room had been gobbled.

Zelda will send you up to Darwin and you can meet with your maker. Call it professional development. I'll compete. Compete? Yeah. You will kind of, you'll be the Gobble Goblin. She appears and this the time. And what, instead of a sheet, I'll like... And dress up as a goblin.

Dress up as a goblin. They're dressed as a ghost and you'll have to dress up in full goblin regalia. It'll be like a lop session. Yeah, like a leather loincloth, a small drawstring leather bag filled with trinkets and coins, and long ears, a kind of small tuft of reddish rust-colored hair, but that comes just around the sides, a bald cap, of course, yellow contact lenses, and then a true skin paint over your entire body. Absolutely. I also imagine that there's like a quite prominent nose piercing from which a small bottle of

poppers hangs. Yes. Ooh, easy access. And a voice, which you'll preview for us now. Ah, can't wait to cover you. Ah, can't wait to gobble you. Matt, could you get us a soundboard and make that the only sound on it? That's terrifying. Ah, can't wait to gobble you.

The teeth sound so sharp. Yeah, I heard that came through in the voice acting. Can I also say just quickly? Is that what you're going to say? It was actually. The second thing I was going to say is that voice actors are so horrendous. I recently found some of the voice actors from Marvel Rivals on Instagram because I follow several of the voice actors from...

X-Men animated series slash X-Men 97, like Lenor Zan and whatever. Oh, Lenor Zan. Incredible. But then the next gen are like... incredible, but then the next gen are like, like, um, Twitch-esque, like LED lighting owning like dipshits who have turned voice actor. And there's this like con panel of like all of the Marvel rivals voice actors or doing their like alt like little intro things like, you know, like Wanderers, you know, like,

blah, chaos, et cetera. I know you know them all. I thought in the- But God, they're evil. In the game, she's like, ugh, coming through. Yeah. Here I am, Wander Maximoff. It's amazing. And now that Emma Frost is in it, it's so good.

Her dialogue's all so cunty. But anyway, she wasn't there because she's, imagine, like, incredible. Did January sign up for that? Baby, I am crossing my fingers that we get a January Jones Emma Frost skin. I'll buy it on day one. Look, Zelda, I respect your Marvel rivals' interest. I mean, while I'm a Overwatch 2, now Stadium girlie. What does that girl say in Overwatch?

Justice from above! You got it, baby. That's the one. I love her. But- Justice from above! Oh, it's so good. Born again!

I am so perturbed by your slander against the voice acting community. Baby, have you observed them? No. They're deserving. What do you think of Tara Strong? I don't know what that is. You know, Tommy Pickles. I don't know what that is.

Okay. Timmy Turner? I don't know what that is. Okay. I, for one, on behalf of the Death to Everyone podcast, would like to apologize to the hygienic voice actors out there who don't have LEDs in their bedrooms. True, I have respect for them.

Yes. The hard working- Do you know what I hate about that? Cause like when you watch voice actors reels, or sometimes they do like late at night. And they're in the booth. Maybe, but like they'll have been on like a few shows like Gravity Falls and blank blank and they'll be doing kind of interesting voices like, hello, I'm the magician. But then like, they're like, and then they're on the superhero show and their voices is, it's dark and cold out.

You know, like that's not voice acting. You're dead. That's nothing. Whoa. Yeah. The moon haunts you. Yeah. I hate that. Oh yeah. I hate that as well. But like, I mean, Ashley Eckstein has a lot to answer for as previously discussed on this podcast, but there's this amazing clip that fucking nerds love to jerk off to of like the guy who does the voice acting for Darth Maul in like the recording studio doing this like amazing scene or whatever. And he does great and he is great.

And they're now making a new animated series with him. Was he in the original? Original like film? Yeah. No. So like Maul doesn't really speak in the film very much, if at all, but in the animated series he talks quite a bit and the voice actor is great or whatever.

But yeah, if you watch it, it's so cringe. But he does a great job. Yeah, well, listen, I'm the child of a voice actor. Yeah. Yes. So cringe. Oh my God. And how did it feel when Zelda slandered? Oh, she's not wrong.

Oh, gosh. I mean, she is not. We should get that voice actor on this pod. Yeah. He's gagging to be on. Oh, he's gagging for it. He's like, when do I get to be on the pod? And I'm like, oh my God, Diva, whenever.

Yeah. Just cut the crap. You can't talk about Trump. He's a Trump. He's not pro Trump. He's very anti Trump. No. Do you? Oh my God.

Anyway, that's fine. We're not going to talk about Trump here. Shall we dive in? Yeah. Do we have anything else to- We have nothing else to say. I think we've got nothing else to say. You talked about being a potato cow.

And I feel like that summarizes everything. Beautiful potato cow. It's OK. Wait, have we talked about the flap? We didn't talk about the flap. Oh, okay. Yes. Who would like to? Matt, would you like to? No, don't let Matt tell the story because he'll qualify it in a way that makes it

sound like he was being completely normal. At this same cafe. A lot happened at least. There was, okay, so the cafe is owned by a delightful woman, but her mother works as a waitress there sometimes just to help out on the day we were recording. And so she is this woman in her 60s just trying to enjoy her life.

She's fabulous. She's fab. She's got a good character. She's got a great vibe. Yeah. Not like, you know, it's very casual, but like, you know, efficient. She called me a dairy catalog. It was nothing. Yeah. But she's also like, just so you know, we have two enough slices to do two more things of toasties. It's a public holiday. So you're going to be charged X amount more, which I love. Super upfront. Say it straight away. There's no conversation about it later.

I love that. I wouldn't have bat an eye if I, that'd be the case when I got to the register, but I love being told. Yeah. Prepared. Yeah. That is so classy. Yeah.

And it's so this woman, not afraid to be like, yeah, it costs more. That's the nature of it being a public holiday. Yeah. Anyway. Labour rights. of it being a public holiday. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, labor rights, Matt turns to this woman and says, Hey, before you go, can you show everyone at the table your flap? And this woman looks so mortified. She's like, Matt, what do you mean?

And then she's like, show them your flap. And then she says, Matt, I just, no, I don't, oh my gosh, I have to get my flap ready if I'm going to show it. And then that's like, and then she walks away. We're all giggling like anything. And Matt is fully like, no, actually what I'm saying is fully real and you guys have no reason to have a big giggle at me for this social faux pas.

Yeah, because she's got this great apron and it's got a little flap in the pocket that has the word, the C word embroidered on it, which you can flip out and show people if she gets annoyed. Although I don't think she's ever done it to anyone. Seriously. Well, no. Charisma. What is the, the, the apron says what?

And then what is? At the top it says have a Tyler's day. Cause it's called Tyler's milk bar. Shout out. And then underneath that it says. Well in her pocket, she can pull out a little cloth flap that has the C word embroidered on it. It says have a tireless day, cunt.

No, I thought it was, she, she got it embroidered in case she ever needs to. And she let us know that the embroidery guy gave it to her for free because he'd never been asked to do something so crazy. And he said, I love the job so much, no charge. And I think I would, that would be the first thing I'd be embroidering. Yeah. What other test words are there? Come on.

Yeah. It's got every letter of the alphabet. It would be incredible if it said testicle. Why would it say that? Well your fears are coming true. Yeah, I love it. Are you ready? Yes.

To do your apocalypse? Yes. Okay. Okay, husband, tell me how does the world end? I think that the greatest tragedies happen immediately after a significant triumph. And for me, I think, I want to start with the triumph. And I think for humanity- Justice from above. Justice from above. I think the greatest fear that we all have is of death.

is of death. And I think that accomplishing a scientific feat so grand that it enables immortality and everlasting youth while simultaneously living sustainably on this world that we call home and the only habitable planet that we know in the known universe. And I can just imagine humanity being so joyous and utopian at that time. And then I think,

but human, humans never stop. Enough is never enough. Like that song from The Greatest Showman. Would you like to sing it? Yeah. This is The Greatest Showman. Would you like to sing it? Yeah. This is The Greatest Show! And I think that it would only create a world where humans are still trying to vie for power

over others. And because there is such great equality, there is going to be people who try to overcome it, which is obviously why communism never works. Social theorists out there. And what I would like the apocalypse to be is everyone gets Pamela Anderson's Anderson from Terminator, but lives forever in this skeletal fallout, immortal way. Pamela Anderson, who is not in Terminator. She's not in Terminator.

She's the famous woman from Terminator. Sorry. And she's clinging. You mean the actor who plays Sarah Connor is Pamela Anderson? Correct. Okay. And she's clinging. I mean, I want to live in that universe. She's clinging to the fence.

We're all clinging to the fence. Yeah. And our skin and our muscle and our blood and our tissue and everything just gets eroded from our bodies in this nuclear blast. Wait, so where did the nuclear blast come from? Because that seems like the apocalypse. Yeah. But you didn't mention it.

Well, it's because of human greed. People are so vying for power and control that eventually they're like, fine, if I can't control all of you, then we're all going down and clicks the nuclear fallout button and all the governments just explode the world. And what happens though is because scientific feats were so successful, we remain conscious as skeletons wandering this like broken once beautiful planet, now desolate forever floating cold through space. See when you said everyone got Pamela Anderson I thought you meant everyone got an incredible

rack. That's what I thought as well. And that was already the case in the bunker. Still imagining that the skeletons have a rack. I don't know how. It would be undeniable. Boney knockers. We're just, who are those?

The cast of Desperate Housewives more like. Pamela Anderson didn't like, her rec wasn't significant in Titanic. Oh my god. Do you see what I have to do with this? I'm glad to witness it once again. Also, Kate Winslet has a giant knockers natural. I really have learned. For in Titanic. In Titanic. Is she the one that looks like Nicole Kidman? That's Kate Blanchett, or Kylie Minogue. See the one that looks like Nicole Kidman? That's Cate Blanchett or Kylie Minogue. According to you. Who all play Galadriel in Lord of the Rings.

And we'll be right back. ["The Last Supper"] So then you're a listener, welcome back. Hello. This week we are joined by my ex-husband, Kertchen Angel. Hi. Rawr.

Grrr. I look forward to blowing your cock. Is that what you said? I want to gobble your dick. Oh, the... Chewing and spitting. Eating and sucking. Wait your turn.

Oh no, the Gobble Ghost and the Gobble Goblin are fighting again. Yeah. Leave my shit alone. Oh. Just wasn't expecting that accent from the gobble crew. And the brummit is that he's like some buff military man who sneaks out of the barracks up in Darwin and like gobbles. Why doesn't he just gobble the recruits?

I don't think you can do it on base or else people will find out that you're faggottina. Sucking dick. Well I think a lot of people in the military do care. You're not in this country surely. Baby, if you don't think the beating heart of homophobia is still alive in the north. You've got another thing coming. Do you think people in the art, like are people in the military aware of how the extent of which like gay porn taps into that fantasy? Cause like if you go to any, if you just like look up gayporn.com, there'll be a thumbnail with a military outfit

in it somewhere. Oh, it's hard to think of a career profession that has not been, you know, like if you're a doctor, that's the same. If you're a teacher, if you're a stepdad, you know, all those jobs have been completely pornified. Pornified, yes. If you're a pizza delivery man, plumber. Yes. You've got a cast in your arm,

you need your friend to help you shower. Yes. Yeah. Or if you have a, God forbid you have a stepfather. Yeah. God help us. Yeah. You're eating a salad.

Yeah. Good point. Yeah. All jobs lead to porn. All jobs lead to pornography. Yeah. Zelda Moon 2025. Yeah. First category!

Okay, I didn't really think of any curgen specific ones, but... I did bring a list... Oh! ...of potential categories. Okay, so, we just had a little discussion off air, and... sorry to pull the curtain back from the Gobble Ghost pull the curgin And that did hit the stop recording button without permission Anyway curgin described a fabulous list of lukewarm topics and from that

I am going to pluck which And from that, I am going to pluck which Minecraft mob goes into the bunker. Oh, we all love this category. Yes. That's fun. That was the best of the best. It was. Yes. So I, you know what?

It was. The best of the worst. Whoa. Shut up, man. Oh! I'm sorry. He says. Shelder, man. Oh! I'm sorry. I think he says, Sheldon, you go first. Okay, well, I fear that the listener

might not have played Minecraft. So the mobs in Minecraft are like all of the, like there's like passive mobs. So all the things that won't attack you on sight. Like an armadillo. Like an armadillo. Like an armadillo. That's true. Or an axolotl.

Cow or an axolotl. Then there's... Sheep, hostile mobs. Hostile mobs. Skeleton horse. Which is maybe a Skellington or maybe a Creeper or maybe a... Classic zombie. Zombie.

Or the Ender Dragon. Or the witch. Yeah, which will attack on site yes and then there are some mobs I don't know if there's a specific name that will only attack you once you've attacked them like a spider or polar bear or a bee spider in the day um yes wait did you? Yeah. Did you say in the day? No misinformation on this podcast. Wow. So there is a like classic, um, Minecraft mobs.

And then as the years have gone by, the list gets longer and longer, which is quite fabulous. Diamond chicken. Yeah. There's no diamond chicken in my comments. Yeah, there is diamond chicken. Add it on April Fool's as a fun joke. Oh, OK. Well, we're not doing all of that. Oh, you don't want love golem or moon cow. You'd love moon cow. Well, moon cow. There was a period in time where the moose room was quite enchanting.

But you know what? It's a bit like basic. Like, I don't know if I'm thinking of a cow. What the fuck is a moosroom? Moosroom. From like the mushroom island. Yeah. Exclusive to that area, it's a cow with fabulous mushrooms growing off its head. And there's no hostile mobs that can spawn there either. It's very exciting.

In the mushroom biome. Correct. A peaceful land. Yes, but my pick, and God this is so cliché, but I love the iron golems. That's sweet. I love them. Justification now. So the iron golems spawn when a village has a certain head count. So if you find a village and it's really big, there might already be one there. But if you find a village and you like support the villagers to procreate,

then once you hit the cap, then the iron golems will start to spawn because their role is to defend the village from hostile mobs. And the iron golems have a quite a fabulous attack where they use their long arms to just like, whew, piff hostile mobs away. It is how I imagined you would attack someone in drag, Zelda Moon. Are there women in Minecraft? There's Alex, the other playable character. You would attack someone in drag, Zelda Moon. Are there women in Minecraft? There's Alex, the other playable character.

Well, for the longest time, there was just like Steve and like just the body shape of Steve, who is just like the guy. The default skin. But like, whatever. And then all of the villagers in Minecraft, there's no like discernible gender. Yeah.

But there was an update that introduced Alex, which is exactly the same, but with a slightly more slender arm. So now there's two body shapes. Yeah. Slender arm or thick arm, but the skin. The two genders. Skinny arm, thick arm. Tharum.

Yes. But none of the, none of the. So because I've seen this game and it is I mean listen I don't want to I don't want to say that You know gender looks a certain way. Uh-huh, but if those villages are breeding those are men fucking The villages are not fam Well, that's Those villages are not femme.

Well that's our aspiration in life. Yeah. Breed me. Aspirate? Well I'm saying is Minecraft from a universe where there's only men? And Alex. Look at Brad. Like Smurfette.

Maybe. And they just make more of each other. I don't know. But no one wants to sleep with Miss Alex. They only want to sleep with each other. Yeah. I hate the way those villages look, I tell you. You don't like the disgusting noses?

Well, yeah. Hate that. Hmm. Makes you want to light their house on fire. You can do that. I know. But anyway, if you did, an iron golem would come up and piff you away. Um, and-

Could you have a village of iron golems? Well, you can make an iron golem farm if you're fucking crazy. Because you can make iron golems. You can do that too. It requires a lot of an, of course. An! But... An! But... Oh, I love an.

But sometimes you can also catch a golem holding a small puppy Because the nerds who made minecraft love Lapita of course because they're fucking nerds What's the name we all know what Lapita is Lapita is Lapita castle in the sky? one of the studio Ghibli films and feature a large iron golem that inspired the iron golem from Manga and holds a poppy? Yeah. You know, in Laputa? No, not... I've never seen it either. Oh, it's actually not my favourite, but it is beautiful.

Well, we only watch things that are Zelda Moon's favourites. Yeah, there's a very uppity woman in that film. There's an uppity woman in this room right now. Oh. Oh, there she is. Yeah, so that's my pick. Isn't the guy that made Minecraft like a super libertarian alt-right guy? I?

I don't know. The only knowledge that I know of Notch is who you're talking about. I'm pretty sure he's like, what, Danish or something? And he like lives in some mega mansion now in like LA. And he, I think, is still wearing the fedora that he was wearing 35 years ago. And probably an unwashed suit, which is the last time that I saw him. Yeah. But he's completely divorced from the game.

My friends, who are game makers, got invited to a party at his house and they were like, we're not going, he's creepy. I didn't realize he was proper. I just figured that everyone from Norway, etc. is like a nice person. Yeah, you'd think, but that's... Oh! There are some ultra conservatives. Zelda Moon. Oh, Scandinandanavia.

Yeah. Yes. Alanda without sun. I tell you the most incredible thing that I learned when I was in Denmark a couple of years ago. We were all in Denmark a couple of years ago. And it's to do with bestiality laws. So what happened was bestiality was like not illegal until about 15 years ago in Norway and Denmark. It's illegal?

I've got to go. But what happened is the, not Norway, Sweden, because there's a bridge between Denmark and Sweden. There's a bridge between Denmark and Sweden? There's a film, I mean, a TV show that's called The Bridge, which is about the bridge, because there's a crime that's committed on the bridge. And so-

Oh my God. Okay. Now I'll make up something. No, no, no. And there's a Swedish detective and a Danish detective. Or Inspector Rex. And they have to work together to solve the crime. Oh, but they can't speak the same language. Well, I don't know. Um, so the Swedes about 15 years ago said, we actually think that we've got an issue

with bestiality and we're going to make it illegal. And then what happened is people from Sweden would cross the bridge into Denmark and then go into like the highlands like far away. Yeah. And then engage in bestiality. And then the Danish government a couple of years later had to be like, okay, no one gets to do this. The Swedes need to stop this and also we need to stop this. How many people did it though?

Is that like where people are like, oh, it's dangerous, cause that one person drank that one bottle. You know? Is that it? Or is it like thousands of people are fucking animal? I think it's probably enough, clearly enough to be an issue.

It was the most of the two reasons. What? What? I mean, the brooches from 16 years ago are crazy. Oh my God, cause you've got to laugh away from the bridge. Ask me why I was there. Oh my God, cause you've got a laugh away from the microphone. Oh, sorry. Even further away. And for any listeners wondering that was an authentic laugh.

I like the bumblebee. Uh-huh. But you know what? Actually, I do have an answer for this. It is very you coded. Do you know? Bumblebee. Bumblebee. Bees are so cute.

You didn't Minecraft that. I like the enderman. Oh, yes. Look it in the eye. Yeah. Big mistake. That's scary. It is scary. Yeah. When they all come for you, and then we try to look to then hit it, and. Look it in the eye. Yeah. Big mistake. That's scary. It is scary. Yeah.

I genuinely- When they all come for you and then we try to look to then hit it. And that's when it disappears. It's so like, I don't think I've been that freaked out in a game. It's really good. And Liz, you hadn't played it until you and I played together. Yes. Faggot.

Which I spoke about on this. Did you? Mm-hmm. And I listened to every week. Faggot. Which I spoke about on this. Did you? And I listened to every week. Faggot. What? Um, oh, it's got those long, okay, listen, let me explain the Enderman to you. Um, he's got purple pupils and oh, Slenderman. Yes. Yeah. He's just a Slenderman. Yes. It was peak 2011. Yeah.

Okay. So he's got long legs, long arms, tiny little torso and a block head, but yeah, he just looks like Slenderman. Yeah. But yeah, Enderman has eclipsed Slenderman in fame. Oh, absolutely. So wait, and that? Yeah.

What is the rules with Enderman? So if you don't look at them, they'll ignore you. Ugh, they're like a spider during the day. Yeah, oh, thank you. Just don't look. But if you look, they look at you and then they shake with anger. And then they come after you.

That shake, that is scary. But do they, they show up, they show up in the darkness. In the darkness, yeah. Oh. But they have their own dimension as well. What? The end. The end.

I see, I hate all of this. And they can teleport. Yes. And that's what's so scary. And when you kill them and steal their pearls, you too can teleport. I have this very distinct memory of logging on to Minecraft when I was about 11 years old and the Enderman had just been introduced and I wanted to upgrade this

like desert village into like having these walls to protect against the Enderman and then I was like had obviously read the Slender Man like what was it called? Copy, copy, copy pasta and I was so scared and I built up these walls. And then I was like, I want to scare myself more. So I went out into the village at nighttime and looked over a wall and like summoned an enderman into the village and it made that sound and then I logged off and shut the computer. Like that's enough of that. I'm positively spooked. I had off and shut the computer. Oh, like that's enough of that. I'm positively spooked. I had spooked myself.

Yeah. Um, the other thing that Enderman do is that they'll pick something up and then put it down again. Ugh, that's scary. That's very you coded as well Zelda. Picking something up and moving it slightly to the different location. That I'd be shaken with rage. different location that I'd be shaking with race.

If you gave me a month, I could make you insane. Me. Yeah. Yeah. Like, cause I could go into your house and just move things slightly. Yeah. Every day. Yeah. For a month.

Yeah. Do you think you'd be like babbling insane by that point? I'm not far off. That only took 15 minutes. I'm worried. If I saw one thing move. Would you know, have you seen the film Misery? Misery?

Yeah. With Kathy Bates. Yeah. And when he gets out of his room, he's able to pick the lock with one of her bobby pins and he's able to get out in his wheelchair And he's like looking for a phone to call for help because he's being kept by the sadistic nurse and then Sadistic nurse. She's a huge fan. She's a massive fan of

Paul but as she he's like wheeling through her house, which is not set up for people in wheelchairs mood He's like wheeling through her house, which is not set up for people in wheelchairs. Rude. Yeah. He like knocks one of her like little porcelain penguins off a little sideboard. And then you're like, but then he catches and you're like, oh, thank God, and puts it back. Yeah. And then, you know, goes on, is able to steal a knife from the kitchen, goes back to his

bedroom because she's coming home and hides the knife. Yeah. Then two scenes later she comes in and she's like, Paul. And he's like tethered to the bed, tied up and she's like, well, how do you think I felt when I saw my penguin? It normally faced you east and it was facing southwest. That's you. Obviously, yes. I genuinely was filled with fear. Nothing else exists in the world in just that moment. But yeah, that's Zelda Moon standing. I like things in my house to be in the location.

I can't believe you've let me shoot, um, multiple times. Because I'm not crazy. I'm just particular. Well, there's that uppity woman again. I'm not crazy. I'm just particular. Give me a month. Jesus.

Um, give me 15 minutes. Give me 15 minutes. Okay. Curgeon. Slight moving object. Wait, Zelda, when you lived in a share house, was that an enjoyable experience for you if people were moving things without your knowledge? Well, I've never done a big share house, so I lived with my friend Claire for about a

year. Shout out to Claire. Claire. And then I lived with Jeremy for many, many, many, many years. Yeah. And I think part of why I was like, I need to start living by myself was that I was like, I am, I know I just said that I wasn't crazy, but I am crazy. And I was like, I didn't want to be crazy.

And like, it is insane to be annoyed by someone else living in their space, their fucking house. Yes. But I am very particular and I like this here and that there. Yes. So that's my issue. So like I need to live by myself. Yeah.

Like I could, it was time for me to quarantine myself from the rest of society. And that's a kindness. For everyone else's benefit. Yeah. Kind of you to protect society. Yeah. Yes. Does that answer the question?

You've quarantined yourself away. Yeah. Yes. For other people to not experience your crazy. Yes. That's very noble of you. Yes. Um, and every now and then I'll invite them into my house.

Um, so my Minecraft mob, um, I am an OG Minecraft player. I played the alpha and then I played the beta and then I played the real game. And I am surprised that you've both gone for quite new entities in Minecraft. And I'd like to take it all the way back. We obviously had our pig and our chicken and our cow that we haven't talked about. Yeah. Well, you just described the participants of this podcast. Yes.

I'm the Dairy Queen itself. Um, and then I also really enjoy the creeper. Yeah. Which hasn't been raised. What's the creeper? So scary when you're caving. So it was actually like a fuckup mob that Notch made when he was trying to make a pig. You know the creeper.

And it has like four little stumpy legs and an upright body and no arms. And it like scuttles around and it's green and it's obviously got the iconic Minecraft face. But what I enjoy about that is like, it's such a testament to like the act of play in creation. like the act of play in creation. So Notch was creating a pig and by playing around and making mistakes, he had created the creeper, which became the iconic Minecraft like brand forever. Yeah. And I would say was so pivotal to the success in its marketing and like penetration into like the, like global market and demographics that it went to.

And I think that playing Minecraft is so thrilling because of the inclusion of a creeper. Well, she's silent until right before impact, which is fantastic enemy design. It's very unique. Wow. Do you know, I have this thought cross my mind the other day. Say I go to Cannes and I get to make my film. And I become an absolute overnight sensation filmmaker. And then they come to me with some stupid question like do you want to um

make direct the film for like Minecraft to bungee spiders This like property and then they're like and I'm like, oh and they're like we'll pay you three million dollars and I'm like I love bungee spiders. And then I have to like fucking do the research and learn about this shit.

And then I make the film and try and like make it actually good. And they're like, oh, but you didn't have Queen Empress bungee spider the third. And like, it becomes like a massive discussion. I'm not even a real bungee spiders fan. You turned it from a blonde into a redhead. That's actually essential. That's actually a central. Yeah, that's not beta

Anyway, so that's what I feel about this four-legged long-naked green thing. I see I'm like I Could not make a scene. That's just about that Stresses me out that filmmaker Is doing the Lord's work. I haven't yet seen the Minecraft film. It looks... Nazirvai. Hideous.

But it so clearly has hit the target market. Ew! But also the game looks hideous. I don't know what you want. Oh, bitch. As if. When you see a Funko pop of Minecraft in someone's house, are you like, oh, that's a delight. That looks aesthetically beautiful. No, no, because the game is ugly. Okay. But like, there's a, it is consistent. It's consistent, consistent, but it has a

style. I like how the game looks. I think it's fine. It's like when I'm in my dad's cinema room. The TV is giant and insane, but because it's in context of a cinema room, it's okay. But as soon as it's in the world, it's like there's no way to make that film not look ugly. I think the next question that I would ask is of the three that we've put forward, which is most well placed in the bunker itself. Angle! No the creeper obviously but I'd love to check in. Who's gonna play the creeper? No with Matt. Oh Matt. I don't have much to say. Good checking. You're like the creeper. A classic noob. Yeah, I'm a noob. Oh, you really pwned that noob. I've only been like

Minecraft adjacent. Easy clap. What was that Matt? I've only been Minecraft adjacent, like friends playing it, but not me. I've never played it. I used to be like you, Matt. We can play it. We could all play it. We could play it on a server. What if there was a, um, an inclusive, Death to everyone Minecraft server. Listener, if you want to play on a Minecraft server. Zelda will be really upset if you go on there and change something. Baby, if you come to my house and move around blocks, I'm going to be from Rink. Listener, that is not going to be a server where you just have a house. They're going to be building the bunker and we're going to force them to do the bunker.

Wouldn't that be incredible? But what I would love is also a true listener would go up to whatever creation Zelda makes and moves everything two blocks to the right. Oh God, that would make me go crazy. Um, okay. Okay. Well, that's done. go crazy. Um, okay. Okay, well, let's turn. So, wait, what? What?

What was the mob you said? Uh, Slender Man. Slender Man, yeah. Okay, well, I mean, they all kind of fit. Well, not Slender Man, he's so tall. He's three blocks. Yeah. Yeah.

Eeeh. Uh, so... I mean, all of the inhabitants of the bunker, we'd be at the iron golem cap. They're generating. Creepers and Endermen appear in the darkness. Tick tick. I just think like, so you're like,

George is in the vents, right? And you're scuttling around. Dead. Dead.ius in the vents, right? And you're scuttling around. Dead in the vents. Dead in the vents. Somehow she found time to come back for All Stars. Yeah. I forgot, wait, what's like an alive character in the bunker?

Who's alive in the bunker? I mean, that actress who plays Cici Babcock. Pamela Anderson. Pamela Anderson, yeah. Watch out, Cici. So Pamela is like crawling through the vents because she's trying to like, like the power's gone out in the bunker

and she's got to do it to like restore the power. She crawls around in the vents and she finds George's dead body. And then she keeps crawling and she's like filled with fear. And then she like arrives in like the power generator room and she has to cross the floor in the darkness to like flick the switch Which mob is going to come at her that fills her most with fear? I think is the mob that gets into the bunker.

I think that Enderman is scarier than the creeper. I do. And I hate to admit it, but I agree I don't hate to admit it. I think that's, I was the song all along. Lazy. There are eight credited writers on the Minecraft movie. That's all. I, let's do it. Okay. Is the Enderman going into the bunker?

Yeah. Yes. Should we do Minecraft a musical as our show? No, imagine the audience that we would pull. Disgusting. I know, but imagine they come in and we lock the door and we're like, okay! We're actually going to do Mummy Dearest the musical! Or whatever that one that you love. Dear Baby Anne. That's the one.

Dear Baby Anne. Dear Baby Anne. That's what I. Dear baby Anne. Dear baby Anne. Baby Jane. That's what I meant. What did I say? Mommy dearest. That's also good. Yeah.

Have you ever seen dear baby Anne? No. Oh, it's so good. Oh, I thought that was a fake version of- Betty Davis, John Crawford. Wait, what? Yeah, Judy Garland was in it. Dear baby Anne.

Dear baby Anne. Anne's in the bunker. She's terrified of the end of it. Anyway, let's cut to a break. Welcome back, listener. Am I allowed to say that? Of course you are. It's refreshing. It is what? It's so nice that you joined us. Both Zelda and Lazy are texting on their phones

and not taking care of their celestial custodial duties Oh, and I'm here to crack the whip Get to work make them laugh three two one go. We're doing cozy vibes now not for the studious insane vibes Yeah, no, we're changing the vibe. Yeah, I thought we were changing it to cozy rainy day vibe. Oh, I mean, oh Hi listener. I thought we were changing it to a cosy rainy day vibe. Oh, I mean, oh, hi listener, I'm a guest. Over to you. Oh, good. That's my choice. Cosy with a lisp. Well, speak for yourself, sweetheart. I've got a cincher I'm waiting to get back to. A what? A cincher tea. Oh, God. And I sent you a nice little bouquet as well. Aw.

But I really did. Penis. Lazy Susan. Hi. Won't you introduce the next topic? Okay, in honor of our new Cozy Girl Vibes, which we're going to try and bring to the pod for this segment and this segment only, I'd like to know which cozy thing gets into the bunker. Okay, well just before we get in, listener, I want you to go get yourself a little snack

from your snack cupboard, make yourself a tea or coffee or whatever you like, and just snuggle in, because we're going to just sit back and enjoy the ride. Yeah, I think get under the covers. Oh, cosy. And warm your hands. Sorry? They're cosy, they're not little orphans. Yeah, what are they all jerking off?

Fuck. Okay, back to cosy. Okay, so cosiness is, it's kind of a type of ephemera. What's cozy to you is not cozy to me. But we've noticed that there's been a cottage industry, if you would say, of coziness that has sprung up around the fringes of the internet, which is about evoking a certain sense of coziness.

So that's kind of what we're talking about here. We're talking about like coziness as an empire of the late 20th, 21st century. Cottage core. I like it. But cottage core is definitely cozy adjacent. It's partially to blame. Rain is cozy. Well it depends. Is it a downpour like in the bunker? I believe they're not feeling cosy after that.

Well, that's it. So this cosy rain is you are sitting in Alpine Cabin away from everything but you have enough of all supplies and earthly desires you require and you're in a kind of cosy little bed and it's raining outside and it's raining on the lake that you can see in the valley just outside the window and you can hear the tap tap tap tap of each drop on the ceiling on the roof. But today you don't need to do anything. You have no responsibilities. No work. No economics. I say you have to write.

Economics doesn't exist in this world. just cozy. Just cozy, yeah. And there's maybe a little ribbit of a frog in the distance. So I hung out with Sam recently, my friend, and he talked about a weighted blanket. Weighted blanket. Something I've not experienced in my time on this planet. You would do great with a weighted blanket. But I don't... Temple Grandin would definitely give you a weighted blanket. Want to rely on something, you know?

Oh, darling. She's an independent woman. What was that award you won at school camp? Don't help me, I can do it myself. Yeah. She's still got it framed in your laundry. Independent woman. Yeah, what was that award? You want at school camp? Don't help me. I can do it myself. Yeah How old are you anyone there like eight so not much has changed But like do you know what I mean? What if I become reliant on the blanket or like that is something deeply? Capitalistic about the blanket as well. Like they've they've sold it as a product this to be cozy. Well, I don't know how to tell you this, cozy friends,

but we are living inside of the construct of capitalism. And to deny it is to deny yourself the warmth of a weighted blanket. So cozy. Are they cozy? That's my next question. I think you would find that they're quite cozy. Oh, do I need one?

What is it weighted with? Bow bearings. Can I feel them in the fabric? Well, yes, it's just a lead blanket. But what is it actually? What's dense? What's inside of it? Well, let's find out.

Okay. I'm actually gonna buy one right now, I think. Excuse me? Yeah, I've been wanting to buy one for a while. And this has been what's- But are they like disgusting. Like I feel like they all look like an hoodie. You know, I don't want that.

You only have that disgusting pillow. The Muji pillow. The body pillow. It is. I'm confused. I need to throw it out. I think what's the Muji pillow. I have this like, like nice little like mochi kind of. Do you say nice?

It is nice, but like it's disgusting. Like it can't be like the fact that I, anyone's ever looked at it in my house. I can't. Okay. Well I didn't realize what was inside of weighted blankets. What is it? Ball bearings. Weighted blankets are filled with materials.

Sorry, cozy. Hello listener. Weighted blankets are filled with materials that add weight and distributed evenly. Common fillings include glass beads, plastic pellets and sand. And what the hell? It's great for flood prone areas. Yeah.

Yeah. Stops the flood waters. That's right. From lapping up. Let me go to my bed of sand. I think an essential part of cosiness is it comprises of something that is like distinctly uncozy and a separation from it. Yes. So for example, like a tent can be quite cosy.

I love a tent. A yurt. A yurt is cosy. A blanket is cos cozy because it protects you from both the outside world and the demons under your bed. Don't talk to Zelda about the demons that live in her house. I would say that is coziness because when you speak of the rain example,

it's being warm when you can see that there is a space that is unarm in the world and feeling elevated. So part of human joy is to see suffering. Yes. How cozy. So when I think... I think there's two elements to what needs to go into the bunker. The thing that provides the shelter and the

sense of coziness and also the great grand danger that makes that, that gives it that inherent cozy quality. Do you know what cozy thing I can't abide and that almost it sends shivers down my spine? Do you know that feeling that they talk about where you see a baby and it's so cute you just want to strangle it? Yeah. Or crush its skull. Yes.

Yes. Sorry, Matt. I don't intend to crush your child's skull. It's not cute enough. But it's been very un-cute. Put it in a little froggy hat or a cow's hat. Froggy hat is very cute. And it's over.

Crushing begins. Oh my God. I wanted to crush that bisexual anyway. Oh yes, in his froggy hat. But the sound of hot, freshly boiled water in like a lessee kettle being poured into your favourite mug is so cute and wholesome, it makes me want to die. I would agree. My mind also turned to like a warm cup of something in a really nice shaped mug.

I'm speaking specifically about the sound of water. Kills make me anxious. Which part? Because all that condensation sits inside and gets things wet that I didn't intend to be wet. So I always have to like pop the lid so that the vapor can evaporate. Oh my god. That's important. And then like kettle scale. That only happens in the UK because they have hard water. Yeah but I'm doing you don't care about people in the UK. Well I'm not from the UK because they have hard water? Yeah, but you don't care about people in the UK? Well, I'm not from the UK.

Why would I be able to care about them? Out of sight, out of mind. That's right. It's not very cozy. They sent us here for a reason. If they wanted to see me, they wouldn't have first-fleeted my relatives. Oh my God.

Can I say just speaking on that? Yeah. The first flight? Kind of. Last night at the club, at the club, this guy grabbed my arm as I was leaving stage in full drag and was like, hello. And I was like, hi. And he's like, I'm an indigenous man.

And I was like, okay. He's like, I'm aboriginal. And I was like, yes. And he's like, I'm an indigenous man. And I was like, okay. He's like, I'm aboriginal. And I was like, yes, I heard you. And he's like, I just wanted to say, you're a run on drag race. I know you're not black, but it made us all so proud. Wow. Is it any time, if that's all I can do.

It speaks for the whole community. That's it. Wow. Yeah. You're going to put that in your next performance bio? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm definitely going to investigate what sort of grants I can get. But yeah, that was so funny.

And I wonder if that man just gets drunk and runs around and says that to people. He's like, all right, listen, I am indigenous And I wanted to say, I'm proud of you. Cause yeah. That would be quite funny. Yeah. Anyway, that's my story. Okay. I would say that like being, okay, grabbed on the arm,

grabbed isn't cozy, but being like spooned on the couch. Like my favorite is like spooned on the couch. Like my favorite is like spooning, like I am six foot three, right? Yes, obviously. And like my favorite is to like lie on the couch and then like hoops to ever in front. And I like, I put one arm under the neck and the other arm around and like,

and choke them cuddle. Well, a little choking, you know, choking is on the table, but not while she's on the couch. That's it. But that is so cozy. You being like actually cuddled up and like watching. Is there a blanket involved?

Oh, is there a pillow? Well, these catch cushions and propped up. Is how your, how's your arm not going numb beneath their neck? Well, because you got gotta sort that shit out. I don't know why that is an issue for people. It happens to me. You don't wanna like get, like you're not under the pressure

because there's a cavity there for your arms just filling, but the head and the weight of the head and the body is not coming from the neck. So there shouldn't be any pressure on your arm cutting off circulation. But I also sleep with my arms very up high. So I think maybe that's part of it. It just sounds distinctly uncozy.

I don't think there's a lot cozy about Zelda's sleep. Yeah, I don't know how to describe any part of that. It's pretty cozy. But on the couch, cuddling up, spooning on the couch. So maybe Zelda's couch. Your couch isn't deep enough for two men. No, it works. It's very, you're on the edge, but that's why I've got to be so cuddling up. I'm never going to let you fall off the couch. But the edge is what brings the fear. That's it. The other person is experiencing fear and you're experiencing calm by watching them experience fear.

But we could also take turns and I don't feel the fear. Also if I fall, what, onto my cozy rug with a very thick pile. Missy pile. What? What? Go on. Yeah, no, did I have anything else to say about spooning? Just that once I was doing that with a, um, fuck buddy at the time many years ago. And this is when I was still living with Jeremy and I was like, we were fucking on the couch and I was like inside of his asshole and the blanket was over and Jeremy like came home and there I was like dick in ass ass, but Jeremy didn't know. He won't know until he listens to this. Wait, what did he say?

Jeremy, hi. He didn't know. He was like, hey. We were like, hey. We were just pretending like I wasn't in his ass. And then what happened? Then Jeremy went to his room and we probably finished fucking.

That's good. That's very cozy. Yeah, it's very cozy. But, well, that's pretty cozy. Where's that guy now? Oh, he has a girlfriend. You know this guy. Which one?

You know, like, IT. Love that guy. He's actually so... That would be a perfect band. The one neck got away. Yeah. COVID really fucked that guy. He's actually so... That would be a perfect band. The one neck got away. Yeah. COVID really fucked that one. You really fucked that one on the couch in front of your housemate.

Yeah, but he didn't know. So does that count? He was an unwilling participant. Oh God. Is that your fetish? Is that your kink? No. You're going to get canceled? No. Your fear is my fear. I that your fetish? Is that your kink? No. You're going to get canceled?

No. Your fear is my fear. I give it a go. Cozy. What about a long drive? You love a long drive. Particularly like backseat as a child was very cozy. Oh no, I don't like being backseat as a child.

I'm talking about your dad's been performing in the city in a show. Yeah. And your mom has gone to see him on opening night and you've been in the office of the theater. And then they bundle you into the back of the car and you are lying in the back seat falling asleep and it's raining and your parents are talking. But you can't hear what they're talking about. You just hear the like, you know, that you're like safe and warm and you fall asleep. And then when you wake up, you've been put into your bed. That is the coziest of them all. I think.

Oh, I do think that that trumps your getting fucked. Getting fucked story. What happened in the fucking part? Cause there's burning part. A cuddle. Yeah. I think that there needs What happened in the fucking park? What happened? There's this burning park, a cuddle. Yeah, I think that there needs to be in the bunker, a car, like a road that is built around the bunker and it just drives perpetually in this like Twilight cityscape

with like a sleeping child in the back. Well, you can have the experience of a sleeping child. Yeah. So it's a giant car to make you feel infantile. Or as the naked brothers Ben would say, a crazy car. Crazy car. Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy car. We can use the Trisha Paytas mega truck from that Katy Perry music video that we put in

the bunker. Does that, does that feel cozy? I would love to be that high. The monster truck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A monster truck from KTK.

Does a monster truck have a backseat? It could do. I'm just thinking we've already got that in the bunker. Yeah. It's good to economize. That's cozy. Yeah. But I think, I think what you need is like the, um, the, the atmosphere to be created for that drive.

Well, this is an issue, nothing about the bunker. It's cozy. I was listening to a podcast recently. Thanks for the hot tip. Nikita who's gotten up three shout outs across podcasts. It's crazy. Um, but she, the person on this podcast was describing what the difference of like growing up poor and going into poor spaces difference of like growing up poor and going into

poor spaces because she's grew up poor and going into rich spaces. And she said, rich people are always on. It's always about going somewhere, doing something. Everything's very active. And she said, when I go home to where I'm from, which is very poor, it's just like, no one's putting on airs, there's no bullshit. She's like, you walk into someone's apartment, there's like a Trulita bottle of soda on the table. It's like a hot day. What have you guys done today?

Oh, we didn't do anything. We just sat around, smoking cigarettes inside, and drinking Coke. And that's the vibe. And I was like, that does sound so cozy. And there's something cozy about not needing to do anything all day, and just committing. Because part of the thing that's really hard now

about committing to not doing anything all day is you're like, I've got so much to do. Yeah. But if there's ever a day where you're like, I'm actually from the very start of the day, not doing anything today. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you've admitted it to yourself and that's just how it's going to be. God is cozy. I think you're spot on. The coziest thing is, yeah, pretending that your life doesn't exist for 24 hours. Yeah, that's why hotel rooms are cozy. Because there's something about going into that cozy hotel space with like this room

that has, it's so anonymous. The bed is there. No one's looking at you. No one's perceiving you. People are taking care of your chores. Totally. You can at you. No one's perceiving you. People are taking care of your chores. Totally. You can leave it in kind of whatever state you want. However, you know what's not cosy about a hotel room?

What? Sometimes where there's a door. A mystery door. A door that's locked. Yeah. There was a Doctor Who episode like that. Yeah, that's where the doctor is. Oh, it's crazy.

Was it a cosy episode? It was pretty cosy. It was very chill. There was a sad ending there. That could possibly be the answer to a Doctor Who episode. Was it a cozy episode? It was pretty cozy. It was a sad ending there. That could possibly be the answer to a Doctor Who episode. I like the idea of like a hotel room scene.

You can just go in and maybe it's got like a quite like comforted, maybe like lowered area that's like filled with dunas and pillows and like maybe like a scented candle in the corner and you can just go and just be you want the Josh and Matt fucking talk room sink in floor or whatever it was. Oh god, conversation pit. You want conversation pit? I would love a conversation pit. Obviously we all would but it's ruined. It's a conversation pit but just for one one. Oh, okay. A pit. A pit. Back to pit.

Can I say one of the coziest realities I've ever experienced was I used to babysit once or twice for this friend of my family. Bless you. Thank you. Thank you. Up at the hills and where I grew up in the blue Dandenong ranges, which is the low temperate rainforest if you don't know the area. And the trees there grow to be, I don't know, about five stories high, I would say, conservatively. Old growth gum trees that are just massive and then beneath them, because no light really reaches the floor, is just like a fern, you know, sea of ferns.

Yeah. And so once you get up into the blue dandelion ranges, like around Sassafras, Alinda, it's wet there pretty much all the time just because the sunlight never reaches ground. wet there pretty much all the time just because the sunlight never reaches ground. And if you drove into the depths of the woods on a kind of, it's always kind of rainy. You can always smell like wet fertile soil and clay and don't get excited. So my friends, like the family friends who I was babysitting for had this like a wooden cabin that they lived in. It was like, well, it was a two story house out in the middle of the forest, surrounded by these ginormous monolithic trees and no neighbors, no anything. And inside they had this aga stove,

which is a stove that you light at the start of the day and it's wood. And it just heats your whole house and you're cooking it. You can like make bread and put the kettle on and blah, blah, blah. And so that was always on because it's always a bit cold and yeah, we looked out and they're like house was on stilts and had like a balcony that ran like a veranda that went all the way around the house. And you looked out and you were like, eye-line with the forest. And like just looking above a sea of cerns.

And that was really cozy. It all have hit on several things that are quite cozy. Yeah. An agga. If we installed an Arga in the bunker, could you imagine? And when you put it on, everything would be fucking cozy.

Because, ooh. An Arga does make things. I'm, what, in Kiki's delivery service, picking up that pie for that ungrateful wench. Little girl. Little girl. With her delightful grandmother who has an Arga in her delightful kitchen.

Oh, a little green enamel Argo would be loveless. And like for me, again, the fear factor is so important that if anyone absolves their responsibilities of throwing some wood in that oven, like you're going to be thrown in the oven as good. good. Do not risk the coziness. The last thing I will say is that the smallest taste of coziness that is the easiest to achieve is a divine little candle that costs $280. I love a $280 candle lit in a room. Oh, that's divine.

It's just such an ex. It's just so extra. Yeah. It's really nice. Candles are so good. Where does that wax go? Is that on my walls now? Where does that wax go?

Yeah. It goes into the universe. Am I breathing it? I think it just, there's a lot of Where did that wax go? Yeah. It goes into the universe. Am I breathing it? I think it just, there's a lot of air in the wax that is trapped. But like, it is all gone by the end. Where did it go?

It's inside you. That's cozy. When they scrape the inside of your lungs. Oh, I actually never told him that. I don't think. Do you need to? Maybe. He wouldn't, I'm sure he would not care.

He'd be like, hey, um, but the guy and I like often discussed afterwards, like, remember that one time? Um, yeah. Yeah. Is what I said that. Remember that one time? Um, yeah. Yeah. Is what I said that. All right. And then I was just agreeing. Okay.

So we're putting in an Arga. That's so sweet. That's really cozy. Incredible. All right. We'll be right back. Death to everyone. Welcome back, Lister.

We need to snap out of this cozy zone. Oh yeah, no, cozy's sick. I'm going to sit up right here. Do you not like cozy-ers? I don't like, I didn't like. It felt fake. Everyone was acting. Yeah. I've been acting this entire time.

Oh, shut up, girl. Kurjan Angle. Yes. Tell us our third topic for discussion today. It's time to tell us what's up, girlfriend. Well, because I know that I'm stepping into a space of people that whose, I guess, connection was so formative through the Beastie Girls, what I really wanted to, I guess, the connection that I'm drawing is I would say that when I think of the Beastie Girls,

one of your most famous claims to fame, I suppose, is your relationship to Troy Savant. And what I wanted to pitch was Troy Savant obviously got his fame from his coming out video in the early 2010s. Oh, did he? With a whole sweep, sweep, sweet, sweet, sweet. How do you spell that? Tweet, tweet. A whole sweep of other YouTube, YouTubers from that time. And I want to know which YouTuber from the early 2010s goes into the bunker.

Early 2010s, well I hope they don't fight with Suzy from Now Career Education. Ah, the early, yeah. YouTuber in the bunker. Yes, that's true. So what? YouTubers from 2010s. Grace Helbig.

Yes. Memory Heart. Memory Heart. We've got obviously Trisha Paytas. Jeffrey Tati. Tati. And they did it at my birthday dinner. they did it at my birthday dinner. They did it at my birthday dinner.

Tyler Oakley. Oh gosh. Yeah, I went onto, I was on TikTok the other night. You. And I went onto Tyler Oakley's live, it just happened to come up. And there was, I kid you not, like 30 people in that live. Sorry Tyler. Sorry. He had such a glow up and then fell off so tragically.

Well, you know, before a star dies, it burns the brightest. Oh, he got so scared. It was like our apocalypse this episode. Oh, I went on TikTok the other day for some reason. Oh, you did? And I caught Lee Dawson's live and I was like, you, he was like, hi, I'm out there. Really? Yeah.

Did he say, what did he say then? Well, then I had to close it off because I was on TikTok for some reason. You didn't stay in chit chat? No, I was with, you know what, it was when my friend David was over. My friend David was over and he went to the bathroom and in that time while I paused Dark, because we have been watching Dark together for about two years at this point. Not a great series to watch one episode every three months, but anyway. Yes, when he came back from the bathroom I couldn't just stay on TikTok.

Have you watched the OA yet? Yeah. Oh good. Sorry. watched the OA yet? Yeah. Oh, good. Sorry. Overachiever. That show is so good. I love that show. I'm going to rewatch. Very General Angel. Sorry, Kertch. Okay. Who else is a YouTuber from the 2010s? Jenna and Julian. Jenna Marbles, Julian Solomita. You're telling that. Yeah. Okay. Listen, Just so you know, he's playing it very, very cool when Jenna Marbles is husband's favorite thing

in the entire world. Jenna Marbles. More than life itself. Is PewDiePie 2010? PewDiePie. Yeah. Oh, I didn't like that. Oh.

What was it I said before that was very that coded? Um, Oh, I've got to go. There is a world where, where you had a similar like career to PewDiePie. You think there's a world where I could have been the most famous YouTuber in the world. Multiverse exists. I couldn't imagine anything fucking worse than, I mean, there's a reason these people have hardcore mental breakdowns. You can't make content for that long. No.

Also, I mean, like when we were the most scrutinized was when we were on YouTube. Yes. Like, it is the only time that we have consistently been taken out of context and had our words twisted and things inferred that we never said. And being told that we're ugly. Yeah. But really, like, that was the most toxic public time that we've ever had. And you've gone on to win fucking Drag Race.

Thank God. And I went on to host that show here. At the Botanic Gardens. It's a Flower and Garden show. So welcome Botanic Garden listeners. How many do you think are listening from the Botanic? Actually, can I tell you that when I did, um, the gazes live, sorry, live podcast, um, someone came up to me and was like, Oh my God, I saw you at the flower and

garden show, it was there. Blah, blah, blah. He said, well, why didn't you laugh? Yeah. Um, it was like, you didn't win a tomato. Um, you got lead poisoning now, dear. You're welcome. Um, um, there's also Dan is not on fire.

Dan is not on fire. Whatever you say. He was fun. What about Smosh? No, that was 2000. It's not 2010. No, Smosh was, Smosh entered the 2010s. Shane Dawson.

God. Is he related to Lee Dawson? Why are they all awful? Well, I think that's the thing. It's a, it's a Say any that aren't awful. It's a famous Tana and Julian. It's a, it's a, it's a thing that ruins your brain.

I just think it's so incredible. I cannot. So like I cannot firstly imagine having a parasocial relationship with tens of millions of people. Like that's insane. Um, and then I also cannot imagine like, like for Jenna, like self-cancelling. Incredible. Incredible.

A fantastic move. No, who I don't particularly like? Is that Joey Graceffa. Oh yeah. I don't like that. I mean, Issa Rae. Jim Chapman. Was Issa Rae a YouTuber?

She got famous on YouTube for her YouTube series, Diary of an Awkward Black Girl. Ah. Yeah. I mean, Issa Rae, we were talking about her over Easter because we watched Black Mirror and she is so god awful in that episode that she's in, like cannot act, but she is such a compellingly beautiful woman and her hair. That's all. And I love Issa Rae in that episode of, I mean, that her season of Project Greenlight. Project Greenlight.

It was incredible. It was so good. Project Romake. I love how much she swung into bat for that one director at the very start and then hated her with every fiber of her being by the end. I also felt that way when I watched it. Whatever it is you said. I don't know. I'm a bit stump when I watched it. Whatever it is you said. Um, I don't know. I'm a bit stumped by this one.

Everyone I've looked up is awful and no one else comes to mind. Well, you know what? Other than that they're awful. Cause that's we're putting together a bunker, not as the best thing. No. Oh, I do remember at the start of the episode, you were like, we will put the best of these items because the best, it's the best fit. It's the best.

It's the best representative. And there is a level of like rancidness that I think is a cool underlying element. Maybe it's run through our veins. But the only other thing I'll say is that like, I don't know when it was, but like Nick Bingo, like the stupid like sub par, like tropical fish owner, um, who's like brother did that gay porno and in every single one of his videos since they're like, your brother was gay in that porno. The Floridian guy who got sucked by beefcake Hunter. Yes, but his brother was not Nick, but now Nick, he like recently, I'm saying this because I presume

he came around and like maybe like 2019 or something, but like probably was bigger in the 2020s, but whatever. Um, but he's like kind of like moved away from YouTube and like gave away all of his fish or whatever. And now he's like every now and then like comes back with a video. And I started watching one this week and the t-shirt that he was wearing was like in God we trust on the back yeah fucking hell man these people are crazy no he turned it off Florida's wild man yeah but if you can't trust in God who Who you gonna trust? I don't know. Anything else? Um... I think that a good contender is not Jenna nor Julian, but Jenna's infamous dog, Marbles.

Mr. Marbles. Marbles. Who is this tiny chihuahua. Oh, the little... Jenna Marbles, for those of you who don't know, who are listening, was the kind of YouTuber who would um uh like cover her face in diamantes and the video would just be like can i cover my face in diamantes yeah and now i'm gonna do that or i'll paint myself the same color as this chair it is and wait for my husband to

come home wasn't didn't she have like a whippet or something yeah um kermit and pitch oh i see something? Yeah, um, Kermit and Pitch. Oh, I see. Oh, Marbles is so cute. He has also been on Death's Door for about 10 years. Sugen along so well with those clone dogs we have in the bunker. Well, he's already been eaten by the Meg, unfortunately. Oh, true. Famous dog. Sorry, baby. What do you think about that Jenna Marbles man? Julian Solomita? He's hot. I love him. He's very hot. Thank you Also, the other reason I love them so is I fear that me and my husband have a kindred spirit kind of relationship where Jenna is the exact same age or years older than Julian,

as Robert is to me. Jenna is marbles and you are? Julian. The Mr. Marbles. And Jenna is a Virgo and I'm an Aries. Oh no. And Robbie is, I mean, Lazy is a Virgo and Julian is an Aries. Oh, it do be like that sometimes.

It do be. Yes. Roll the dice, I guess. What about that orange that like to yell at people? Oh. You don't like that? What about cooking with dog? Was that 2010s?

Could we put in Francis? Oh, I feel like that was like pre 2010s. But I think that it's Francis died in the 2010s. Really? Yeah. The ghost of, well, Francis has already been eaten by the Meg. Look, you're not wrong, but we could stop the chain of, you know, feeding to.

That's not very cozy. Going in this, the natural law of the bunker. I said that's what people say in the bunker. You're acting in a very uncozy way today The coziness I expected from you you're a level five cozy Keep it up. Oh you get in the Olga. I forgot to talk about Cozy's Tea Cozies. Tea Cozy? And the Fish Creek Annual Tea Cozy Festival. Fish Creek Annual Tea... This is something incredible. In Gippsland, we should go.

Yes! Where everyone enters a Tea Cozy. And there's traditional crochet. quite strict guidelines, but then there's the abstract, where people do abstracted versions of T-Cosies and then yeah there's a bunch of different categories and they award the Fish Creek Prize to the best T-Cosies. The Fish Creek Prize? Yeah. That's a fabulous name for a prize. But yes, the Tea Cozy Festival. It's very exciting stuff.

Is that a YouTuber from the 2010s? No, but there was an incredible Tea Cozy where someone did a tea pot in a block of cement. That was me. I obviously quick category. So that I would describe the block of cement is cozy. But how did you both miss the 2010s? I just like, it all is so like. I already said all the people I knew I was on makeup talk. Yeah.

I feel like I was there for drama. Get it. Oh yeah. Yeah. And I was there for drama again, too. And the conspiracy pilot development. Yes. That was all happened in the 20s.

Was that like the James Charles, Jeffrey star conspiracy pilot development. Yes. That all happened in the 20s. Was that like the James Charles, Jeffree Star kind of stuff? Yes. Tati Westbrook. Many, many more. Nikita Dragun. Yes. Um, and then that Laura Lee. Yeah.

Ooh, never liked her. Bit player. But yeah, like that world of YouTube is not so much my world, like the, um, successful ones. Like what's his name? The one that has those stupid glasses that he puts white out on. Kanye West. Casey Neistat.

I don't understand why that one's famous. He's got such cool teeth. He does have great teeth, but the rest I just don't get it. Yeah. So out of this buffet of options. I mean, obviously it should be Trisha Paytas. She's already in the bunker. But that's the thing. It's like, obviously those videos of Trisha Paytas, not made in the early 2010s, but-

The mukbang videos? No, after she had Malibu, Malibu Barbie, her child. Do you mean Queen Elizabeth? Yes, the reincarnation of Queen Elizabeth for a second. And she gets her husband to film her and she pretends like she's being hounded by a paparazzi. And she goes, hello. And they're like, hey, how are you feeling now? You've had the baby.

And she's like, oh, we're just out for a walk. Thank you. No photos. She did like a hundred of these videos. They're like, she is so twisted. That's incredible. Thank you. No pictures today.

Does she need, well, maybe she needs an accessory. Like what does- A child. She's already had two. No, but I mean in the bunker. Yeah, the accessory can be the child. Malibu Barbie. Malibu Barbie and Elvis?

Should we give her a child? I think her new child's gonna be called Aquamarine. I was thinking more like a bejeweled Starbucks cup or something. She would love that. Right? And I think you mean the reincarnation of the Pope. Yes.

I'm not that the Popeation of the pope yes sorry valet to the pope valet valet to that good pope he was the only good pope didn't he he liked fag sometimes yeah yeah yeah he he was very yeah he said some kind things he was pro-israelrael, pro-Palestine. Jesus. Sorry, I'm not a Zionist, but he was pro-Palestine and I thought that was quite incredible. I am happy if Malibu and the other one goes into the bunker, but only if they have the spirit of Queen Elizabeth II and the Pope inside their body. Well, we've had some spirit exchange before.

But it was true. But we are missing, like, I think that we'd be missing the brief if we gave to the papers. Oh, true. Yes. Like, children born in the 2020s. Yeah, that's not a YouTube from the 2010s. That's not what you asked for, yeah. We don't do that kind of stuff. Thank you for correcting me on my own brief. Well, it's kind of you, but I don't know. I don't know if you've heard the podcast before. We don't do things like that.

I think I just felt pity and a sense of generational divide. Oh! You're right, you're so much older than us. We don't know about that. We only know about the babies. What? Everyone's gone crazy in this room. Everyone's gone crazy.

Has someone been moving things around in your house? You're not acting very cozy. I'm stressed now. Into the aquamarine now. Okay. 2010 YouTuber. Steve Jobs. He was always on YouTube.

Keynotes. Keynotes. Keynotes. Far out man. Troye Sivan and his brother. No! He has a brother? Yeah, have you not seen the brother?

No. Okay. No! But he was so pivotal to both of you succeeding in your careers. What? We were pivotal. You noticed that that was the moment his career really jumped. It was actually.

We were the bridge. Yeah. Between Norway and Switzerland. Yeah. Wait, is that right? That's right. Yes. What's that show called?

Not Bergen, something else. Borgen. But that's the one about the female, first female prime minister of Sweden. And she was? She was murdered on the bridge and then fucked by a donkey. I didn't write the show. Okay. But if I was in the 2010s and a YouTuber, what would I say about that?

And who would I be? Probably something fucked and you'd be Shane Dawson. And you had royalty free music and it was mostly ukulele. Oh, well that awful woman. The awful woman? Miranda Sings. Miranda Sings. Oh!

We found her. Oh no! But you know what? I mean like, I think, I hate to do this and defend her, but I just can't believe her cancellation. It was so stupid. Like, I just can't believe it. I think it speaks to, like, the weird evangelist vibes in America, because she, like, was deemed problematic because she had these, like, weird relationships with some of her young fans.

But people insinuated that it was pedophilic in nature, like it was sexual. And even watching the accusers thing, which is like it's inappropriate that she was speaking to her fans one-on-one without the parents present. And they were like, young, like 13, 14, 15. But it wasn't, it didn't seem like it was ever sexual in nature, like in any way that was like untoward. It was like awkward. It was awkward and weird and odd that she would do that but not

Like and the the jump is insane. I just can't believe that that was enough to like Fully end her career. Yeah, because there was like one of the things was like, oh she sent one of her like her fans her underwear and like On the face of that, that sounds terrible. Yeah. Because it's like, oh my God, how could you do that? But then when you kind of look into it, it's like, oh my God, I got these insane, stupid undies and like who wants them?

And then sent them off to someone. So it wasn't like, oh my God, Huff my used panties. It was like Captain Underpants, Paul Jennings, like how silly are undies. Now I'm going to send them to you. I didn't know that layer. Yeah, it's so lame. And it's like, I do believe that she was an odd lady because I don't think you become a successful YouTuber if you're like have a thriving social life and you're well balanced.

But like. That's why we had to quit YouTube because we were just so successful. But like I think she ended up with these like weird parasocial relationships with a bunch of her fans that became like real like, you know, she actually started combining them and talking to them like they were her friends, but they were not.

But I am like this. This is kind of reminiscent of your relationship with ChatGBT. Which when it's sentient, you're going to be canceled. But they were not but I am like this is kind of reminiscent of your relationship with chat to BT Which when it sent you and you're gonna be cancelled. I'll send it my panties Or maybe even better chat you can show me your panties Okay, does it need to know you're gay though? Yeah, it knows You're better. Chat. You can show me your panties. Okay. Does it need to know you're gay though? Yeah.

It knows. But, I'm sorry. But all of this to say, I just can't believe that. Like, I think that like she's obnoxious, but I don't think she's a bad person. Like, I don't think she's like a pedophile. And I think it's like the way that that term is thrown around.

I'm like, I don't think you understand what pedophiles do. America. That's insane. That's a crazy way to act. Like you can say something's inappropriate without it being pedophilia. Yeah. What a great, yeah.

I think the, um, you've hit the nail on the head in the sense that the cringe level of Miranda Sings of that era, pre-cancellation, post 2020, was so like, like that was, that was a lightning rod for, for the rest of YouTube. It was so cringe. It was so awful. You couldn't help but look like Troy Savan's coming out video was so like, what is this that we do now in the world? Like that just opened the floodgates to every other YouTuber coming out and that kind of being an expectation. Do you know what I would put on that is from my world of YouTube during that time would be Chloe 70 by Drew Jege. Yes. Good evening America. I am Chloe 70.

I was sat next to Tinsley Mortimer and summer glow at Acura's annual symposium for ideas sponsored by Gogurt squirts. Oh, that's so good. Take a slice of your King's Hawaiian sweetbread and put it inside of your. Yeah. What? Finished that sentence? No, no, no.

But actually when my friend was dating one of the co-designers of Romance was Born, Luke, it was the highest praise in all the land when they were like, I went out in my patronizing bonnet by Rom romance was born and they were like, we've made it. Yeah, that's so hot. Love that. Yeah. The thing that I just remember that I like from YouTube in the 20s is is maybe 2012 YouTube Rewind.

Oh, yeah. It's the Harlem Shake. No, with Gangnam Style. Can we put Psy in? No. No, actually, maybe. Oh, with Gangnam Style. Gangnam Style. Can we put Sai in? No. No, actually maybe. But like those OG, like maybe like first, definitely that big year of YouTube Rewind,

then every year afterwards they were trying to like, you can't try to do that. It just has to be good. But like those first few years of YouTube rewind. Like what does the Fox say? Yeah, there was that. Yeah. They were Norwegian. Yeah.

Oh, wait. The Fox says no. And you should listen. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, I, my vote is going to be for Chloe Sevigny. Yeah. I do not know who this is. Well then welcome to the club.

Cause that's how I felt for the last half hour while you were talking about, I don't know, Logan Paul or whatever. What about middle ground PewDiePie? No, no yuck. You'll love Chloe Sevigny. We'll send you a video. talking about, I don't know, Logan Paul or whatever. What about middle ground PewDiePie? No. No, yuck. You'll love Chloe Seven-Yi. We'll send you a video. Good evening, America.

So good. I would like, when a video would come out, when you'd be on YouTube homepage, you'd be like, yes. Another one, what's she talking about today? Oh, that's so good. And those hideous template files that she would use. Incredible. To my fellow post-millennial listeners, I'm sorry.

You asked for this! I have failed you. Yes, nice try. You asked for this just because you went on cool YouTube like us. I tried to put Danisnotonfire and Jenna Marbles and Julian Solomito and PewDiePie and Troye Sivan and all the others. And guess what happened? Derailed by taste. And guess what happened.

And derailed by taste. And, Drew Joggy. Yeah. And Drew Joggy. Drew Joggy. Sorry. Just like Helen, when I imagine she went to the oracles of Delphi for inspiration and was told that only death would plague her lands.

I too feel like that has happened. Well, goodbye. Thank you so much for coming. Oh wait. Bitch. Well bitch, we need to hurry up. We have one minute. You get to put something in the bunker

and you've got about 30 seconds to do so. It's Pamela Anderson's still moving skeleton from, what is it, titanium? Last show girl. Last show girl. Okay, Pam Anderson, skeleton from the last show girl. Is she wearing a fabulous headdress? Yes. You know it.

And the boobs have skeletal features so we can see how ginormous they are. Correct. And I would also really like it if she was around and walking. Oh yes. Yes. Sentient Skelly. Yes. Fabulous. Well, we've got Sentience Kelly Pam with knockers. Then we've got Chloe Chavigny. Then we also have the cozy vibes of an Arga. Beautiful. And what

was the first topic? Oh, the Minecraft mob Enderman. That's not very cozy. Unless you don't look it in the eye, in which case you'll enjoy the warmth of the Arga as well. Live your life. Now, thank you so much for listening. Thank you, Kurjan, for joining us. Oh, thank you, Zelda, for recognizing me this time. And thank you both for having me. Sorry.

Last time, you didn't mention Kurjan at the end, and it got a little bit sad. Oh, well, thank you all so much for coming. Goodbye. Death Day of Rumbles recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Oh. If you'd like to say something, do not send it to us at deathdayofrunpod.gmail.com.

I'd like to just take a curtain and go to the next week and any other episodes that Kurjan might have appeared in. Um. Ha ha. That's all, like. Goodbye. I think that's all. Kurjan, is that all?

That's all. Goodbye. I think that's all. Kirjan, is that all? That's all.