Death To Everyone - Death To... Mispronounced Italian Words, Pink Eye & Hair Dye

Episode Date: February 17, 2026

Hi gang,Tune in for a really funny episode today... We all laughed a lot!Let us know in the comments your favourite part.xFollow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

Back to your favorite show. It's Josh and Matt. Yes. What? Death to everyone. Oh, yeah, sorry. I forgot we went those other gays. This week, we're going to find a quirky shaped mirror

and put it not up on a wall but against a wall. Yeah. With a fun prop plant next to it to keep it upright. I'm worried, Zelda. I don't know if the hair house warehouse warehouse at Northland Stocks, manic panic and sunshine yellow. What about the one at High Point? I don't know. They don't have listings on their website.

But I assume they do. I mean, I don't know. Have you ever braved the inside of a hairhouse warehouse? Not for some time. You know, it's only a hairhouse now. What do you mean? I see some of them and they just say hairhouse. Well, obviously they're not attached to the warehouse section. I think they're trying to steer away from warehouse and more into a, like,

a luxury space. Good luck, Piz. No, but they've been like refitting the stores. I've seen the stores. Those chrome balls. Those women

should all have forklift licenses if they're going to work inside of a warehouse. If it's right of a warehouse. Have you seen they have like always a little display of piercings and things?

I went in and got my ear repierced before attending drag race. Versus the world. At a warehouse. Warehouse, warehouse. Yeah. Warehouse Warehouse at the warehouse.

And the man did it. And I said, a man working in a warehouse. What'll happen next? But it's very cool. They've changed the tech on how they pierce ears since my day. Pin and Apple? Yes. No.

Well, when I was young, it was pure gun. We were all about the gun. Yeah. Right? So that was my first piece. Like a price gun, but for your ear. Yeah. And then, you know, obviously there's a lot of piercing snob.

now who are like mm-d-da-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d. Yeah, yeah. They do. But that was in Boronia. It's a Boronia Mall. And then when I went to Off-Yat-Tree to get my other earpiece

because I was ready to be a professional drag queen. Huh. I went and they did it with just a pin. Classic, off-your-tree. Yeah. And then when I went to the warehouse, they have these boxes

that are pre-loaded with the stud of your choosing that are single use. Oh. That a single use That like work and operate like a gun But they're just single use You throw away the little plastic dispenser That surrounds them

And it uses the stud that pierces your ear As the like, yeah Cool It is, it seems to be very hygienic Because no one has ever unsealed it Until you touch it Yeah, yeah, yeah And it seems to be more foolproof

Nice Well surely a fool wouldn't be doing people's piercings Poo Poh Do you remember that shopped The Warehouse? Say more. The warehouse, the warehouse where everybody gets a bargain. Yes, apparently I do.

What the fuck? Well, my first boyfriend worked at the Warehouse. Oh, my God. At Knox City. Hello, Matt. Hi. No other Matt. But this is TMI, but very funny.

because when you are having your first boyfriend, I think I was like 16, I was like, we're so old, we're so mature. Our sex lives are so crazy. And so I was like, why don't we get into some kink? Why don't you wear your uniform? Oh, my God. That's all.

And what does the uniform look like? That's like a red polo and a hat. Wow. You're sick. Of course. Of course it would say that. What? And it's so, that's not, there's nothing sexy about that job.

And what? So like just wearing the polo and the hat and presumably. I'll be a disgruntled teen that's taking things and you catch me. And then what? I don't even remember that. I don't, I don't think that we actually got to it because I think he was a bit like, what? Why would I put on my job uniform to have sex and like, you make some good points there?

Hmm. Well, I never had sex in my poor Louis Chinese restaurant uniform. What a missed opportunity. I could imagine the reason for that would be, well, I don't want to get it dirty before my next shift. Yeah. Also, it always raked at prawn crackers. Yeah. You might have picked up a bit more down on the peninsula if you smelled of prawn crackers. Well, they're delicious. Well, you know what? I haven't had prawn crackers in a long time.

I would like, if I may, to tell you. You know Pro Crackers before they're fried? Yes. And they're that like pinky orangey, semi-translucent. Yes. Why aren't we doing more with that? That should be like a chandelier. That's true.

They're so fabulous. But what if some hot oil got spilled on that chandelier? It just got... It would puff right up. Ten times better. Perhaps that's part of the chandeliers thing. I like it. Okay.

Also, can I just say when I was... Okay, so you know how there's like a cultural men? memory of things like the warehouse the warehouse and everybody gets a bargain um i when i was in oh shut up when i was in tasmania um i was like there for new ys eve with miss pusey poppins i said on this show and i was asking like what is something that only people from tasmania know that no one on the mainland knows and they were like one guy was like try talking about the shop chicken feed and i was like what is chicken feed and he was like it's a two dollar shop style thing that we used to have it was big in lonseston and hobart and um everyone of a certain

vintage will know this and this is the song bargains of the smile came out of nowhere well especially because a duck can't smile it's restricted to it i think you'll find it's a fucking chicken Well, same issue. A beak, do not smile. All you need is chicken feed, because a little goes a long, long way. Chicken fee. That's good.

Because a little is all you'll pay. And that's much better than the warehouse, the warehouse, where everybody gets our bargain. True. And my name is Zelda Moon. And I'm lazy Suzanne. And driving us around. outer space is Matt Heyo

Heyo Heyo to you Matt Hello there What did you think of the chicken feed song Sonically Obviously you're a musician It's catchy Yeah

Definitely on the right path Do you think you could do a cover of it With your band Oh yeah When's your next gig in Tasmania? Right now Coming to a live

Listeners in Tasmania I wonder how many there are I definitely won right? It'd have to be one. Yeah. Yeah. Well, so at the end of that story is that on New Year's Eve in Tasmania in Hobart, I was like, I'd like you to please sing this song if you know it,

the National Anthem of Tasmania. Fucking hell. And then I started like, it's a song called Chicken Feed. And then everyone was like, all you need is chicken feed because a little goes a long, long way. It was amazing. That's so cute. Which was so good. And I love that experience of being like ultra-specific local knowledge is really funny.

Yes. No matter what. Yeah. Yeah. But when I was in Werribee recently for the Werribee Pride, I walked through the audience being like, okay, where-a-be, tell me what is the local thing? You need to tell me what the specific thing that only the locals know is. Like if you're in Geelong, it'd be the Sphinx. Yeah.

If you're in Hobart, it'd be chicken feed. and they were like, probably the open range zoo. Yeah. I'm like, oh, you mean the thing that's in the fucking catalogs about your,

no. I mean like the bridge where hobos mysteriously go missing. Where's that? And they're like, maybe the mansion or the Werribee Mansion. No one's heard of that.

What the fuck are you talking about? What's the thing? You know, the trolley ditch where there's 500 ditched trolleys. Where is that? Yeah. Anyway. There's no community in Werribee.

Everything just goes to the zoo. Well, right? I'm just like, what about the zoo then? All the trolley's got. Is there a back section where they keep the lion meat that all the kids hang out at? Throwing out the off cuts. Back section for the lion meat. I'm already giving these people more notice.

Yeah, it was really not. But you know, one of my favorite things about that gig at Werribee is that I would go and meet people in the audience and learn their names. and then when I see them on their phone call out from offstage, Shana, get off your phone, watch the show. Oh my God. And they'd go, oh, oh, oh. It was amazing. Yeah, tell off people for being on their phones,

even if you're on your phone. Sure. You know? Zara, get off your phone. I'm not on my phone. Get off your phone. We're trying to record a pod. I'm not.

I was actually distracted by the squeaky chair. Oh my God. I don't even get me started about the chair. I think cursed. I think I've been cursed with the squeaky chair. Yes. Matt, is this chai that I'm drinking Ben Buggy Chai?

No, this is Matt Buggy Chai. Matt Buggy Chai. Matt Muggy. Matt Muggy, Ben, Buggy. You ain't had a muggy till you had Ben, budge. Oh my God. Well, Ben, I'm just putting it out there that we've moved on to different chai because we've run out. Matt got it in the mill.

threw it immediately in the bin and said, you're on Matt Chai now. Matt Mergie. It's Matt Mergie, not being burgy. Welcome to our podcast. Now, on this podcast, we talk about a range of fabulous topics and the setting after the end of the world

and our duty to populate the doomsday bunker with the best of the best from those topics that we discuss and create our new ecosystem for a supreme experience on planet 2.0. And it's season four of this show, so we're trying out new behaviors. Yes.

We're going to shift our dynamic. I'm going to be the pleasant one now. Oh. We'll restart the episode then? What? I was delightful. I told an anecdote from Werribee. Yelling all the Werribee kids.

Yeah, fuck the... I mean, I love everyone. What has happened in your life this week, crazy Susan? I wasn't going to complain about this. Because I'm the pleasant one now. Oh, God. But I do, of course, have to fucking mention that I was recently spited with fucking Fairfield's finest Bunnings employees. Oh, this.

I was subjected to the fucking Gen Z stare. And I thought I was hip and cool and young with it. But have you heard about the Gen Z stare? Say more. You know, the Gen Z have been accused of having a kind of lifeless malaise. fall upon them that is like it's an infliction

they just look at you like with no expression except for like a mild contempt but not even enough energy to kind of amount to a contempt and I rented a van from Bunnings which you can do but it's always a fucking debacle

because let me tell you something that's happened to Bunnings everyone there has been lobotibized by a fucking nail gun are they used to to have really helpful stuff and something has happened. No one fucking knows how to talk to anyone. Boomer men walk around that store do not know how to talk to young faggots.

And then like young Gen Z girlies up at the register for some reason have the same problem. Okay. Yeah. And I think like really a guided cashier experience is all I'm talking about. Someone that just keeps you aware of the steps that they're taking. I'll give you the example. I arrive at Bunnings to pick up the van that I've rented. Previously, when I've done this, it literally took 40 minutes,

cutting about 10 minutes into the van rental period because they were so inept and no one knew how to do the simple job of just logging that this was happening, which is fine, I get, not training everyone in everything. it takes too much time and you want to have one person holds something but not if you are in a giant fucking warehouse

and the only way you communicate with each other is two fucking microphones spread out across 10 football fields of space so I go up to the front I'm like hey I'm here to pick up this phone

oh yeah great great oh thank you oh yeah great this is kind of one of those men that just doesn't know how to interact oh you just and then puts the show street down that he needs to finish filling out my van higher form because they need to sign

everything off because I'm about to drive away with a very expensive van. Yeah. Fair enough. And then he just like he's struck like by the pluribus puts the form down, walks away, doesn't tell me where he's going, whispers something to this other gal next to him, and then vanishes. Never to be seen. she comes back and he's like

what do you think he wished for them I think she said like I forgot that I have a job that I started 10 years ago with someone in the paint section I need to return to them but like he'd started an interaction with me it was like broken NBC behavior this other girl trots over

and she's like um are you renting a van I'm like yes in fact I thought that's what was happening until whatever fucking reaping that man experience. And then she was like picked up the former. I was like, okay. Okay, let's do this.

And then she actually got me out of there quite quickly. God bless that woman. And then drove away the van, right? And I'm just going Fairfield to Clifton Hill to the Brunswick dump to back. Simple. But I have been like recently when I rented a van. I did a similar thing. I was renting it from sixth. And at sixth, they say, you have to just bring back the van full, on full. Okay? F, it says F. So I take the van back.

And when I'm still 10 minutes away from the Bunnings, I see it's still on F. This diesel van, she's still on F. So I'm like, okay, well, certainly that's great. I didn't do that much traveling. We have 100 kilometer limit, but like, that's F. we're bringing her back full. Bring her in, come inside. Same thing happens.

I come inside and I'm like talking to this guy and he's like, oh, what's going on? And I'm like, yeah. So like I've got the van back. Here's the key. He's like, oh, yeah. And I'm like, do you need anything else? And he's like, oh, you got the paperwork.

And I'm like, yep, I have all the paperwork. So is that all good? And then I like, okay, well, thank you. because there was like that much space and then I go to walk away and he's like, no, no, no, I need the paperwork. I'm like, oh, you were requesting something from me. Okay, good.

And so I gave him the paperwork and then he's like, starts the process and then once again, wanders off, disappears and sends over this gal who like was, yeah, just gives me this look, doesn't talk to me. looks immediately down at the form and continues the transaction, but doesn't say a single thing to me of like,

oh, you know, Greg just has a bee allergy and has to go to hospital immediately. That's why he's acting so fucking weird. But instead she just was like, and I'm just kind of like standing there holding my idea in the car. And I'm like, do you want my ID? Because she's like looking for my name on the system. And I'm like, and she's like, and she's like, oh, I'm going to jump,

and she's like, Robert? And I'm like, yeah, do you want my ID? Because you can see my last name. It can be a bit tricky. Like da-da-da.

And like, doesn't still nothing. And then she like looks up and he's like, what name is this under? Oh my God. And I'm like, oh,

well, well, there's the paperwork and here's my idea if you want to go through and she like doesn't again finds it finally. And he's like,

oh, it's under two last names. I'm like, it's probably why. It's worth checking the ID because they have a double barrel loss. Anyway, it's fine. And then she's like, okay, and the receipt? I'm like, oh, the paperwork's just there.

No, no, no, no, the receipt for the fuel. I'm like, what receipt for fuel? She's like, well, you need to bring back a receipt for the fuel that you put in this? And I'm like, well, that wasn't said to me. At no point did they say make sure you bring back the receipt. because even if I had stopped in to fill her up at the local gazeteria I maybe not think to have a receipt unless someone had specifically said

before you come back you need to do this this and this bring the receipt so then I'm like I don't have a receipt and she's like why don't you have a receipt because they didn't fill it up it's still full if you check the car it still says F and she says well no because you've driven somewhere she's all loaded up and I'm like well yeah Yes, but it still says F. It's full.

Well, because even if you did fill it up, it would still deplete somewhat when you get from the service section to the bunnings. Anyway, so I'm like, so what do you want me to do? And she's like, well, I can't process this without a receipt. And I'm like, sorry, what? You can't finish this transaction without a receipt that no one ever told me I fucking needed. What are you talking about? And I'm like, so can I just clarify with you right now? you want me to leave this business with the van that I just fucking brought back,

go find fuel, fill it up, put $2 or less into this gas tank, and bringing you back a receipt. She's like, yeah, because if you don't, the person that comes after you will pay for the fuel that you just use.

Oh my God. And just sit, and I'm like, who will the fuck pay? pay for my fucking time after I get a life sentence for ending both of our lives because why the fuck would I waste my fucking life having this conversation if I didn't have to if a single person had laid out the terms of use of your fucking vans if you need this to happen and then she's I'm like okay that's fine um so I'm gonna go this is what I this is exactly

what I said and this is why I got I've already getting the stare but this is why I got it because I've become the monster. So I'm going to go and find a gas station and fill this car up with $2 of fuel and bring you back a piece of paper that says that I did that. And then you'll be able to finish this. And she said, yeah. And I'm like, okay, I will go and do that. But I'd like to clarify to you that this needs to be much clearer next time you

rent out a van to someone that you require receipt to finalize this transaction. That's good of you. And she said, I'll let someone know. And I was like, God, she's got me good. I mean, what are you fucking going to say? She doesn't give a shit. It doesn't have anything to do with her. She didn't rent me the van.

No. Why should she fucking care? Well, it was incredible. I love it. And then I went and got that and then filled it up $1.94. Was it actually? Literally. That's hilarious.

And of course, I had to get myself a spinach of God, bro. Of course. But I was like, I can't let them know. Different transactions. Different transactions. So I hid my spinach and roll in my bag. Yes.

So they wouldn't know that I was also enjoying myself on that I trip to the gas station. And I came in and that girl had vanished. Which I'm like, good for her. I mean, obviously, she like, crazy. But seriously, seriously, let me go. What happened to cool kids? just fuck the system yeah let me go

you're meant to do this oh well yeah true I'll just press enter I think management is too strict yeah it's because it's all computerized you actually just can't get past certain screens without entering like a photo of the receipt or whatever

but I was at a bar recently as a drag queen and like it was like being at a proper old school bar where I was like you can give me a little bit extra vodka if you see fit in my drink and most places were like ha ha ha and then be like one shot in your cup exactly as measured 30 bills yeah but this place this girl was just like yeah and then doubled it and I was like what that

this is incredible this is the kind of shit yeah but yeah so that was my experience of the week that fucking man that's good so when you had the receipt what was the vibe of the final cleric that you The last. No, the final boss was a bit of a letdown. Obviously, I was just that guy again. It was like, Oh.

Did you remember you? No, no. Oh, if he did, no. Okay. Bo. I don't think, I think Bunning sucks now. Like, I think, like, every staff member there just,

like, maybe in the paint section, sometimes you get a bit of flavor. But now that they started locking up the spray cans, It's like it really does make the shopping experience like Oh, I'm gonna have to like go and find someone Like this should be a fucking button or something I think things have changed since like the fake Lego Yeah

It was so egregiously hideous And now also last time I was in Bunnings In like the like Bunnings to Go section When you're in line And it's like you want scrub daddy And you want a bottle of vinegar But then there was just like like an ocean of like bunnings merch straw hats yeah it's like people who buy bunnings like garments

are you crazy are you crazy girl like i i understand the appeal of bunnings but what the fuck i think they got high on their own supply when the master's thing happened yeah like when they were like oh like we've got competition what if they beat us we're going to treat you guys good again. And then they've vanished. And they're like, ha ha ha ha. Even the biggest party in town couldn't defeat us. So now we shall have apathetic girls named Rochelle at the register.

Also, what the fuck is happening with the like, they will have a whole eight bay of self-checkout. Yeah. And that dainty little chain being like, not today. No, no. No, no. I don't think I've ever seen it open. I'm like, what is the point? One staff member on a register v. One staff member supervising the self-checkout.

They need to take a trip to IKEA because it can be streaming. Out of here! Why are you bottlenecking the entire experience? And why don't you put fabulous little beverages at the front of it? I'm thirsty after my hardware experience. And you're only stuck monster. It's really weird. Yeah.

The nurseries of Bunnings in the past, I was tantalized, but I didn't know a life. 20 minute walking distance from an actual fucking nursery. The Bunning selection is so grim. If you're buying your plants from Bunnings, get real. They are infected. And they're just like, there's like no curation. It's just like, this is what is on plant TikTok or whatever. Yeah.

Like it's just so uninspired. And like overpriced and just like meh. Yeah. Not it. Go to a real nursery people. They're cute. Well, Waker. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, can I tell you about my week? Go on. So, I was away this week. I've been in Sydney with work. Essentially, like, three very, very, very busy work days in Sydney for a conference. Like, flew up on Tuesday, landed, worked, went back to the hotel, finally had a moment to open grandeur and see what was up. And some things were up.

I won't describe which things, of course. All loaded up? Well, we'll get there. And then was chatting to this very attractive man. Man. Man. And I was like, I know, so what are you doing? What do you do?

He's like, oh, I work as a receptionist, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, oh, you're cool. What are you doing tonight? He's like, I'm working. I'm like, what do you mean? It's like, I work overnight. at a, as a receptionist at a 24-hour gym. I was like, oh.

Okay, well, I'm only free late at night because I have like a work conference literally all day and then things. So I'm only free after like 10 or 11 o'clock at night and also not for very long because then I have a massive day the next day, both Tuesday and Wednesday night. And he was like, oh, well, I work Monday to Friday like overnight.

I see. What time do you feel? finish work. 5 a.m. Oh. Zelda. Well, I mean, I'm getting up at 6 a.m. Anyway, to get ready for work.

So it's like, well, what if you came over at 5.30 in the morning and then left by like 6.30 in the morning? And he's like, yeah, I can do that. Oh, my God. Not early morning. So, but also his profile had this like curious, um, descriptor on it. I don't know how it's like, um, C-day? What's that word?

C-D? C-D. C-D. C-D. What is it? Sid. Side. Side. It had that on there. Which, yeah, I am still kind of getting my head around.

Listen, you're learning tolerance. Yeah. But I was like, for a 5.30 hookup, that kind of works in my favor because you don't have to get real. So I was like, all right, well, I best go to sleep and you best. get back to work. And I set my alarm for 5.15 in the morning. Oh, my God. And then four hours later, it's 5.15 in the morning and I wake up.

And I'm like, oh, well. And then I checked my phone and he sent me a message at like 20 to 3 in the morning being like, hey, I'm actually really tired. Maybe we do this tomorrow, as in like on the Thursday morning, like my last morning. Yeah. And I was like, oh. yeah, no, that's fine. And he had just finished work, so then we were texting. Oh.

And I was like, oh, yeah, are you sure? I just got up. He's like, yeah, let's do tomorrow. I was like, okay. How do I know you're not going to be tired tomorrow? Well, exactly. How often are you tired? Yeah, right?

Imagine how tired I am. I just woke up for this. But then... Like he's a fucking lunar eclipse. Sister, on the second day, I set my alarm once again for $5.15. in the morning. I woke up and I saw, oh, your status of two kilometers away is now 973 meters away.

And I was like, hey, how was work? He's like, good. I'm on my way to the hotel now. And then I quickly got myself together and went down to the lobby and met him there, whisked him up to the room before anyone could see what I was doing. Oh, all the receptionists know each other, all the overnight reception. And yeah, then we like hung out and then he hung out. Oh, so he was like, hang out of him out of five 30 in the morning.

He like very handsome dude. Like he was really quite hot. And I didn't think about this, but he was American. And he was from Texas. Oh, where about? I don't know the answer to that question. I've just sent a photo to the chat I just send this cowboy emoji

We've got that in the bunker But like So hot Ripped too Oh he was so Look at He's got such a long vein This one of his arms

His arms are incredible Anyway so then he Yeah he just like kind of kicked back And he was like On his profile it was like into like Muscle worship And like cuddling and kissing

side activities. Yeah, like a salad. Oh, I got a second story about sides. You got two sides, one good, one bad. Oh my God. So, yeah, we like cuddled and he like crushed my skull while I was buried in his armpit. It was amazing.

It was so good. I was wondering why you were so compressed in the skull department. You're looking thinner than usual genuinely one point where I was like In his I need to send the photo of his chest Like in his chest and both of his arms were like around my head And I was like This

I don't even think that you did anything sexual at all No no I gave him an incredible blow job And afterwards he was like you're really good at that And I was like that's why I was fucking doing it Anyway So it was good Yeah And then I got up and

got ready to go to work. Had a piece of toes. Yes. Brush my hair. Do you have anything for breakfast? Well, what a perfect segue to the catering of my other experience, which was abysmal. I think it's really hard to organize events generally. And then organizing the catering for those events, also tricky.

Doing all of that in a different state, very tricky. And what do you have to go on? A website, a phone phone phone, conversation, hey, we need catering for this event. Is your food good? It looks good online. Yeah, we have really good food. That's what we do as a business, is provide food for events. I'd want to send them like a chart that says, like, what is the basic, like, FIFA? What is it, like, the World Health Organization's standard for, like, baseline caloric intake for human survival in a day? Yes. And they see if they can meet that. Yeah.

This company wouldn't pass that test, I'm afraid. Pay per calorie. Because I just feel so skinny after three days on this catering diet. And your head being squeezed. Oh, that too. God damn, it was just like so extremely grim. Like having dietries like makes it a bit dicey anyway because like you can't just gorge on an endless amount because there's a.

smaller amount for all of the vegetarians and then the vegans and then the celiac and whatever but all all day on like the big day in the middle I was like okay this is pretty grim also you don't have time to go and get catering anywhere else okay so talk me through so you get something in the morning and it's like breakfast so breakfast morning tea lunch afternoon tea dinner yeah yeah okay and breakfast provided and of course we arrive and there's like 700 people in line for one coffee machine so that's not going to happen um also what kind of coffee machine was it like on like a wheelie stand like a professional yes but they don't have ice fucking understand why huge events

how many people were at this conference like probably 600 okay if you have more than a hundred people you need to like just you are not having fucking barista style coffee you're doing giant like pump like you know black coffee or have milk skinny milk Oat, everything laid out. But just like, it is fine. That is fine for a day. You do not need a fucking cappuccino. Yes, I agree.

And you need, like, because also they're only wheeling one of those things, but all 600 people want the coffee within the same 20 minute window. And it takes two seconds to just pump out one of those, like, yeah. And it can be really good coffee. Yeah. Like really good drip coffee is like incredible in the morning. And you just get like a shit time. You change out those flas every five minutes.

Yeah. Cream. So there's that. And then like the tiniest, I didn't actually know that they made croissants this small. Crescents that were like cut in half, put a quarter slice of cheese in. That was melted around 6 a.m.

And of course we're consuming it at 8.30 in the morning. But there's like enough for maybe like one each if you're quick. No. And so just grim. But fire festival. Yeah. But we had like a big. sit down dinner. So all day I was like, okay. Wait, what did they give you for morning tea?

The dietary table was removed at morning tea time. Like no joke. It was gone. And I found someone from the catering stuff and I was like, hey, did the diatries table move? And she's like, no, no, there's no, there's no. There's no dietary. Because the sweet is vegetarian. I was like, right. And I don't want a piece of cake. I want like something to eat. Yeah. Like what? And the regular, like, the regular catering was like a little like pie thing. Yeah.

This should be always a savour and a sweet option. Yes. But they're like, no, no, because that one is vegetarian. I'm like, well, the fucking tablecloth is vegetarian. Yeah. Do you think we should be eating that? Right. Just bad.

But yeah, anyway, the whole day I was like, it's fine because I have a proper sit down dinner so I can like. You're like, wait, what was for lunch? I'm moving on I just want to know No What was for lunch You've got to give me the flavors A bit of dust

I can't So you've had a tiny croissant That guy's Oh No the lunch was The vegetarian options There was Okay

Like salad sandwich But cut open Like a triangle But with a protein No Just salad Maybe bokoncini That's not

I know But like That was the feeling Yeah Okay. But there was that and there was, no, there wasn't Kishas that was on a Tuesday. I can't remember. I'm fucking grim.

I think it was maybe like a wrap, like maybe with falafel in it. No, I don't remember the delight. No, there was falafel. Yes. But, oh, the other thing that happened at lunch was that I had like a little round of like a quarter of a sandwich and half of a wrap of falafel. Because you obviously don't want to look like a gigantic, um, you know, Hoover of lunch items.

Now that we know everyone else is starving as well. Yeah. But it's like, so I had a little bit. And then I was like, okay, well, now I'm going to go back for round two.

Meanwhile, we still had 20 minutes on the break and the catering team had packed up all the food. It was like, we only had 40 minutes. There's 600 people. So everyone took some food

and then obviously will graze for the full period. I don't think as well. You just need. to be there. You don't have, none of this is going off in the next 20 minutes. No. And they have, like the catering team isn't attending the conference. They have time after when we're in the conference to do the pack down to prepare for the afternoon tea. So then all the food was gone and like there was not, like it wasn't that it all ran out somehow. Um, they just like packed it all away. That's good. It was

insane. Um, and then the afternoon tea was chocolate cake, um, which was actually fine. But anyway. So, We're at the dinner, which was at, like, not at a restaurant, but at, like, a big event space where they obviously do catering for large business things. And I find my table, find my chair. And there's a little note there that says that I'm vegetarian. So that's all boating well. Like, the communication's gone through. I'm like, okay. And then we sit down.

And they start to bring out all of the, like, huge, like, share plates of, like, lamb and I think there was like beef and roast potatoes um rocket salad bits and pieces um also meanwhile before the food came out there was like a bread roll on all the things and the divotron next to me ate my bread roll no and like didn't think about the fact that it was the bread roll on your ride but she ate the one on her left and then what happened to her one i think that she fucking ate that as well. Well, she was starving to death at this point. We were all starving. Fucking she squid came to you.

But the gal on my left and I were exchanging this look of like, she's rooting your role. And then we split the one roll that was left between us, which is very kind. You need to yell at people more. Sophie, thank you for sharing that half roll with me. Thank you, Sophie. You helped her survive scurvy. Anyway. What time of day is it?

This is now 8.30 at night. And you've been up since 5.30? Yes. Okay. And this is the day that my hookup canceled. So I was already starved, you know, from... Very early in the day. No protein for breakfast.

Yeah. So yeah, they like lay the table with all this stuff. Normally I'll have a heaping ball of come by this hour. Please, can I have half of your bread, this gobbell gots next to me and eat mad. And then... Then a waiter, like then that's it. But they came and took my vegetarian card away, which I thought, oh, I don't know the system here,

but I presume everything's going fine. Then a couple minutes later, the waiter returns with a plate and puts it in front of me. And on this plate, there are five broad beans. I've seen a picture of this meal. Yeah, five broad beans that have presumably been like blanched, then two portobella mushrooms, the size of a jam jar lid.

Not like the big mushrooms that you get on a grilled burger. Yeah. But like I didn't know that they actually, like, I don't think they're fully formed at that. Yes. Yes, like doorknob. And that's it. On top of those portobella mushrooms, maybe, usually when you buy anoki mushrooms, there's like so many that you couldn't count them because they grow in a little cluster. But I would say there was like maybe 10 enoki mushrooms.

Someone had counted them. A sparing splay across the portobella. They said mushroom on mushroom. Yes. What goes with mushroom? Mushroom. And I say no one's been this disappointed since Aaron Palison with a fucking mushroom dish.

Hello? Is this thing on? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would say 70% of this plate is vacant of meal. Yeah, it's giving fine dining. Yeah, but like it isn't. plated in the middle to suggest that this is the meal. It's on the side of the plate.

Yeah. As if something is full. Yeah. And I was like, okay, at these kind of events in the past, something like this has happened before. And it seems like, ah, but there's all these salads and things. But then like the roast potatoes are cooked in duck fat and all of the salads have like bacon in them or like something.

And it's like, oh, there are, there is no option. and this, it's also like, that's fine. But like, as long as the catering considers these factors. Yeah. Because you can't be eating the potatoes because they're, anyway. So then I'm like, okay, well, this is curious because what else is going on this plate that's blank? And I give it a moment because like maybe they're bringing something else. And what's Sophie doing during this?

She's already started eating the lamb. And what does she look at your plate? she didn't look in my direction that often. Oh no, no, no, Sophie. Sophie was on board. No, no, no. I thought you meant the gobble guts. Yes.

No, no. She was going in. Sophie was like, oh, God. Oh, sorry. I was like, you eat. You eat. It's fine. Everything's fine.

I was like, but I'm just going to double check because I'm a bit. I just. So then get the attention of a waiter. Someone like, not the one that brought my plate over. There's like 20,000 waiters. I don't know. I was like, sorry, just checking, is this, is this the vegetarian, like, I know that this the vegetarian meal, but is this, is this, is this it?

Is this legal? Is this the, and, and she's like, oh, I'll, I'll, I'll check for you, I'll check. And so she goes off. And then a couple of minutes later, this other slightly more, like, authoritative woman comes over, and she's like, hi, I'm just checking in, you had a question about the meal. and it's like, yes, is this the meal? She's like, yes. But you can have the rocket as well.

To space. And so then I filled the empty space with some rocket. And that was my dinner. You mean a rocket salad? No. So yeah. Wait, you mean it was just squared up? Aru gula.

Yeah, that's it. With no adornment. There was nothing else. There wasn't even a drizzle of olive oil. You know, but a citrus splash. some slivered arms that would have been lacking to see it in the pan.

No, it was leaves of rocket lettuce. But the potatoes. And there were the potatoes. But. But I feared that they were probably cooked in duck fat so I didn't try. And that was my

delicious dinner. I am so can fucking fuse. It was crazy. What is it wrong with people? Anyway. Also, don't you want people to leave an event that you've cated feeling like you've over-caged?

Like, oh, I am a fool as a boo. I was just so much, because it doesn't take that much extra work to just feel, like, pop a carb down. Right. It's like, what are you fucking talking about? Or just like take the easy way out and make like a little yucky because it's filling and it's quick and it's easy. It's cheap as shit. Like, and no one's going to be mad. No.

This fucking like two portobello mushrooms and five kidney beans or whatever the fuck. Insane. Is crazy. It was crazy. But also you shouldn't get into catering if this is your idea. No. I also fucking hate and it just continues this weird thing of like when you first become vego and go to a barbecue, Lord forbid for the first time. Everyone is like delighted to tell you that there's not going to be food for you because you've opted out of.

some kind of cultural tradition. And you're like, okay, but seriously, why am I at this like celebratory event if there's no food? Yeah. And then I'm sorry. Everything has made in it. Not just the sausages.

Everything. The honey carrots, we put some bacon in as well. For no reason. And then you're like, okay, but once I age out of this experience and we're not in the 90s anymore, and I work in a predominantly like femme industry.

Yeah, where the incidence of vegetarianism might be a little bit higher. Yes. Because we work in wellness. Yeah. No. And then you get a caterer who's like, here's your fucking lamb.

And if you order anything off the fucking thing, get used to the fucking Arugala because that's all you're going to eat. Yeah, with your little broad beans. It's like crazy as well to then have to, like obviously something's gone wrong if you're asking where the food is and they need to just go above and beyond to like smooth that over. Because guaranteed there's like another vejo plate sitting somewhere. Right.

Like, oh, let me go and get you some more. I'm sorry if that doesn't seem like enough. Yeah. Because you know what? There's plenty of like people that go to these functions and eat like nothing at all. Mm. you know, for appetite reasons or whatever the fuck. Yeah.

And if you get one person just being like, I'm sorry, but you've just put down five little blanched beans in front of me. I'm not Jack. I'm not going to grow a green beans doctor somewhere else with these fucking beans, am I? Yeah. Because I'd love some food. Yeah. It was crazy.

And then afterwards, I was like, okay, okay, once again, this is fine. I will be free of the confines of the workspace soon. And then I can venture into the real world and get a fucking, meal. But by the time we were back at the hotel, it's like 10 o'clock at night, and I'm exhausted. So I go to the convenience store, get two things of the shin rum and the small size, because they don't have any meat bits in them. And I'd previously discussed after the tragedy of the Portobello, like, what the fuck am I going to do? And the gals were like, there's kettles in the hotel so you could get like cup noodle or whatever. I'm like, okay, kettle, yes. This is where you're crying in

bathroom. And I'm no hungry. Nah, it was bad. Give me that roll. So I got the noodles. Get back to the hotel room.

And I was like, it'd be fine because the cup is the vessel. So I don't need it. So that's good. And then I'll just pull open the cutlery drawer and use a fork of spoon. Yes, this will work. Put the kettle on.

And then I start looking around the grimest hotel room that I've maybe ever stayed in my life for some cutlery, and there is no cutlery. There's no drawer of cutlery. But next to the kettle, there is a mug and one teaspoon. And I thought, okay, well, maybe I'll just look around for what else I could fashion into a chopstick. Didn't have any, like, pens, didn't have any makeup brushes with me, where I could use, like, the handle or something. So I made my cup noodle, waited until it had cooled enough, and then kind of like spooned it into my mouth with a

teaspoon around 11 p.m. at night. And then I had to be up at 5.15 for my gentleman core. To be lightly squeezed. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it sounds like you had a whale of a time. Mm. It was pretty good. Yeah. That hookup really made up for the mushroom factor. And he was like, you probably could have bottomed after all that food. Right. I'd not eaten anything for 48 hours at that point. God damn it. Oh. That's why they said, We were starving that morning. Yeah. No one day you...

He also was wearing a dockstrap. But like I feel like he might just wear them as a garment. For work? I don't know. And like the gym. Okay. Because he was wearing like kind of gym-ish clothes. I suppose he does work in a gym.

I was like, wait, are you wearing this as like an actual functional garment? Well, I mean, also you know that he... He also knew on day two that he would probably be coming over. Yeah. But, yeah. and on his way out after like the muscle worship did you say you really need to work on not just your muscles but your cardio as well because if you're feeling tired after a long shift that's usually

I didn't say that yeah well you see we we'd had plans yesterday but you were so tired you couldn't come I think you know if you're in peak physical condition but you still come he was fine although you know what was weird I was like how long have you been in Australia for and he was like I moved to over a couple years ago to Perth and then I just moved to Sydney

a couple months ago. It's like he spent years in Perth. Who moves from Texas to Perth? That's so weird. So many people. Yeah. There are people that just skate between like, like Darwin, Perth, Brisbane,

because it's just the vibes. You go where the weather is. But I feel like tourism Australia is like misrepresenting everywhere else as in like overselling it. But you know, if you are an outdoorsy person, the beaches of Perth are hard to miss. True.

Like if you do not rely on like having a drag career and like sitting in shadowy rooms. True. There are other states. Yeah. Ah, well, with that said, I think the apocalypse this week is that hot guy from Texas crashes the planet in his armpit while the planet's having a little stiff. What do you think about that? Now you know how I feel. Or the planet starts to death because it was catered by that fucking company.

I hope that we can one day know the name of that company. And I hope that we can get them hooked up with Bunnings for their next fabulous. Seasled a day or something. But I like, yeah, it's hard to blame anyone from like our company because it's like, I'm sure you didn't look for the worst catering company. You probably looked for the one that fit the budget. or whatever. And of course, that catering company

probably presented themselves fabulously. And then you're too late on the day when you realize the catering shit to change it. Do you know what I will say, though, Zelda? We did a very, very barebones low budget, hecticly time-poor film shoot recently. Roucho the witchy girls, book your tickets now. Yes.

But the... exception to that entire vibe is that my producer annie is like no fucking bullshit with catering she says if you are asking for people's time for free which we were doing if we were asking for like people to work incredibly hard on very small like schedules for 12 hours a day you cannot fuck with the catering it needs to be plentiful it needs to be often it needs to feel like you can have as much as you want if you need and you can't she did her goddamn research and knew exactly who to go to and got us an amazing deal. Thank you to our caterer.

And the food was next fucking level. It was so good. Different every day. Yeah. Like full, the full fantasy. Yep. And just incredible. Yeah.

And you need to, you need to like, you know, obviously we can, this caterer sucks and will never be used again, hopefully. But, uh, you need to do your research. Yeah. you're planning an event, it's your job, it's incumbent upon you. Who can, where does the buck stop? Where does the buck stop? Okay, okay, okay, okay.

The planet was destroyed by that hot Texan guy, everyone was also hungry. And we'll be right back. Welcome back. Welcome back. I'm worried about Hairhouse Warehouse. I know I was just, I just checked the time. It's 750, we just spoke for a thousand years.

Okay, well, this is because he kept asking me what each meal consisted of. That was not my fault. How long does it take to say keesh or kebab? Oh, no. No. What? This very cute guy that I've been talking to just said that he's listening to the most recent ever the podcast. Wait, send me a picture of this man.

No, you know that man. Oh, that guy. Yes. We haven't spoken about him yet. No. And we can't now. He's listening to the fucking podcast. He's going to hear about you whiffing that guy's pits.

Oh, yeah, true. It was a joke. That's funny. That was just a funny bit for the podcast. That was me speaking the whole time, lazy. It's time for speak hole. Speak hole. Also, I said something funny before in the chat, and I didn't even intend to.

And I said, sneakhole. You're slowing us down. Matt, could you play this first speak pipe, please? Okay. Speak pipe. Thank you for. ending in, listener. Open the vat. Shucking hold. It's time to hear from the speakhole.

Hello, Celeste of Goddesses and space car driver Matt. Old-time bestie girlfriend here converted to the new that to everyone, Credo. Speaking to you through this slightly sticky speakhole, so that my softly raspy voice can travel to the speakpipe and get to you through your speakhole. I would like to suggest the topic so close to me that when I hear it, my eyes roll back so hard as in Finland. middle of a demonic possession. The topic in question is, which mispronance Italian word gets into the bunker? Of course, the word shall forever be mispronounced from now on. Few suggestions,

but not limited to, Bresceda, Pagola, Knocki, prosciudo, tagliatellae. Fun fact, when you mispronance an Italian word, a priest or a nun or a gender non-confirmy member of the clergy dies. It's true. That's why since lazy got on the pod, the Vatican had to call emergency meeting after meeting trying to understand where all of those priests dropped dead. Sometimes when lazy Susan mispronance words so badly like Marasino, the Holy Mary sculpture in the San Peter Basilica starts to collide blood tears and you can smell sulfur in the whole. Maybe that's because they cannot not so old and gassy that farting fear and stink up the whole place. Anyway, Love you lots.

If you're going to do wicked single on the next Friday, bring earplugs. Dasham. It's so rude when listener is funnier than we are. I didn't understand a single word that person is. Oh, my God. Thank you. That was incredible. Wait, who was that listener, Matt?

That was listener number 13. Wait, what their name was Yeah, I'm loading it up What their name was Their name was That Bold Eagle Oh Funny

That was very funny That was funny A little suspicious If you ask me Wait, do you know who that was? No, I just am like What are you getting it Delete this entire section

We can't have them Pistachio Expresso Express is a good one Expresso Expresso Panini Panini

Because it's meant to be Panino Panino Panino I mean How about Grazzi Grazie

Grazie Uh Pofovore Perfore Yeah I like it I like it I do like

Maracino Maracino Maracino Capacino My Magicino I mean my favorite

Italian phrase That I mutter every now and then To my own delight Is andiamo Let's go But You pronounce it correctly

I don't know Pronced it perfectly Mateo can probably Tell me If I'm pronounced That car Alright Alora

Alora Alora Allora Here Um, Bon compiliano. Nocki. Gnoky.

Gnocki. Gnocki. Gnocki is really cute. You know what? People also really fuck up. Bacchi. Bucchetta. Bacchetta.

Or bruchetta. Bacchi? Bacchiazzi. Um, well, I think, um, there's no shame. Mm-hmm. In mispronouncing words. Yeah. It shows you're on a.

course. And you're giving it a go. You're on day 2024 of Duolingo. Mm-hmm. And you're just trying your best. Yeah. Yeah.

I love mispronouncing words generally. Yeah. But what is my favorite Italian words to? Well, I think there is something and it's not a mispronunciation, but like obviously from the world of

Capuchino. Mm-hmm. It's a Capuchino. You know, wait, do you hear what a cast. But a mugacino. Mugachino. A mugacino. What about Puppuccino?

For dads. For pups. Oh. We have enough. Baby Tino. I don't, do you have separate cups when you give it to a baby chino is funny. Fuck. Yeah, you can get Puppuccino at some pretentious to face.

Yeah. Not pretentious. Bogan. Well, yes. Yeah. But there is something about the life cycle of the cappuccino that like, okay, so there's a massive Italian influx into Australia after World War II. Italians move into Melbourne's inner north and take like a massive Italian community there and bring with them like the coffee machine as we know it. Yeah. You know what we call first wave coffee or whatever.

in the like steaming milk, frothing milk to make a cup of tuna. Capuccino. That starts off as quite like hoity-to-dy. You know, like I think people see it as a bit like, what? That's not coffee. Like, that's not Australian coffee. Australian coffee is like either, I think, no, it wouldn't even be a percolator because that's Italian too.

I don't even fucking know how Italian, American Australians were having like coffee. Like maybe like powdered coffee. Maybe. American style diner coffee, like a drip coffee. But watching it like become, it went from being like, this is too fancy for us. We can't have this in the outer suburbs to like the same like boomers now being like, well now I'm going out and getting my muggerino. It's come full circle.

It's been embraced. And there's no shame anymore for complicated. coffee orders. Like that's just the baseline, I feel. Also, the, like, the funny thing when I do go out with my father who's an American is that he'll get, like, five liters of milk put into the biggest vessel that is available. And, like, just a drop of coffee from a machine that is so in need of a service that it's just, like, extruding hot tar at this point.

And he'd be like, delicious. I'd be like, no one knows that our entire generation is lactose intolerant. But like slurping down gallons of milk and being... I just thought of something. Go on. But I'm afraid it's related to the mushrooms. We can't go back. How house warehouse is closing.

No, could I really quickly say this because it was kind of funny. Well, only if it makes me laugh. Okay. So one of my like girlfriends from one of my girlfriends was like I was sitting next to a vegetarian on my table as well and she also received the two mushrooms with a few anoki mushrooms on top. And she said that someone else on the table leant leant over and was like, did you know that those anoki mushrooms can't be metabolized by the body? They'll come out the weather, go in. I thought that this incredible human being you're talking about,

lent over and went ham numb, num, num, num, num, no. I ate their mushrooms, no. No, didn't eat. Just made that noise. No. Lent over them went, yum, yum, yum, yum. No, she was just enjoying her lamb or whatever the fuck. Yeah, slopping her lamb all over.

Yeah, but imagine shitting all over that vegetarian meal by saying it's going to come out the way it goes in. You can shit all over it. It'll come out. What the same way? I would like, I just don't even know. Did they have wine? Yeah. How much?

I would say the endless amount. Okay. Well, now I'm back on board with this caterer. Okay. No, because if I got drunk enough, I'd pick it up and, like, pretend to drop it on the floor and be like, what now? Will the proper meal up here in its place? Yeah, like, or just keep doing it. Like, like, oh, sorry.

Sorry. True. Okay. Anyway, anyway, anyway. Anyway, I love the Mangachino. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. I love the Magachino. Ew. Did you work at Gloria Jones? I worked at Hudson's Coffee, the home of Australia's coffee.

Yeah. Which I think, yeah. It's by that point owned by someone in the UAE. Like a sheik, a chic. I think I'd like to get a coffee plant. I think that would be a cute. thing to grow. When I worked at Hudson's Coffee, I got the job

through my friend Jasmine who was working upstairs at the most awful call center. Well, was she, maybe she'd moved on and she was working at American Express. Terrible name for a goal center. She was doing like, the most, like, we were both in the, like, she had a job and I didn't.

And I was like, we're both kind of in that, that kind of the very beginning of your 20s where it's like, what the fuck do we do now. And I had gone to uni, but I was like, I need a job. I need a job now.

And then, because I just moved out of home into like my $80 a week, $60 a week bedroom that I was sharing in Footscray with my friend from uni. Oh, yeah. And I was like, I need a fucking job to pay for that $60 for me. And she was going downstairs to make friends with the people at Hudson's coffee. which is her natural Georges, if there's like a local cafe, she's like, they're my people now.

I love my people. And they were giving her this beverage that she was having every morning. So then I got a job there because of her. She set me up with Bobby, who turned out to be a very bad franchisee of the Hudson's coffee brand. It was like losing money or embezzling money

or something. Head office had to take it over again. Bobby. Bobby Singh. What do you? you think and... Bobby Singh. Yeah.

I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. I hope your life is going better now, Bobby. You were always good to me. Bobby can't hear this. He's been in prison for 10 years. Listening to the pod. But I got the job and then I found out what they were giving her every morning.

They had a beverage called the quad shot. Oh, no. Four shots of coffee. Wow. Ice cream. Ooh. Milk. Cream.

A screenshot. sprinkling of cinnamon and a little splash of chalky. They were trying to kill your friend. She was having a heart palpitation. Oh my God. Sometimes she'd have two in a day. Oh, intense. A quad shot.

Quad shot. Wait, so we were putting in quad shot or Magichino? I cut her up from the quad shot. Wow. They didn't have quad shots in Italy. To have an intervention. I was like, I don't think you continue doing this, Jasmine. Yeah.

Okay. So Magachino? For a mispronounced Italian word? I think that's good. Okay, good. Next, speak hole. Jesus. We've got hairdied to purchase. So demanding.

Sorry, Matt. I mean, hey, Matt, would you be able to find the link for that next listener speaker? This is from Daisy Confused. Hello, girls. It's me, Daisy Confused. I am listener. I just wanted to say hello to Space Car Driver Matt. Hey.

Hello, Matt. Hi. I have a really quick story. So I want to explain, lazy, sit down a minute. If you're already seated, good, stay there. When I saw you and we were going down the street, we were walking down the street. You were finished up with a gig at Thursdays, I believe.

I saved your life. I saved your life from getting pink high. I want to let you know that we walked past these two gays and they were having catch shits in a stoop. They were on the street, shitting in the stoop. And then I saw you, and I was like, oh, hello. I saw them first, and I was like, hello. I'll say his name.

I'll say it. I don't mind. But I saw him, and I was like, oh, hello, are you guys shitting in the street? What are you doing? Anyway, kept walking. Saw you. I was like, oh, my God, hello, how are you, rah, having a key, having a lovely little time,

yelling at passerbyes that my name is Zelda Moon. Anyway, they came up to you and went to shake your hand, and I stopped them. I was like, no, you cannot touch her. It does look like it was me just going nuts, being my usual self. But in fact, I was saving you from getting pink eye. You're welcome. I do remember specifically you saying, no, you can't touch her.

And I thought it was fabulous because it was very like, just someone asserting a boundary for me that I would not assert for myself. But I didn't know that there was an extra layer. And that's very funny. Hick to a layer of poop. Oh, my God. And that is our incredible listener, Daisy, who's from Adelaide. Yes.

But was in Melbourne. And, you know, like, I have a real hard time just generally, like, if someone's in the wrong context, remembering who they are, I did not have that issue with Daisy. When I ran into her in the streets of Melbourne, having only ever seen her in Adelaide. You're like, wait. But yeah. Most of the time, if I meet someone in a completely different context, like I, we have this incredible animator, Samuel, who has done, did my hologram mask for drag race.

Yes, yes, yes. And then did some amazing work for witchy girls. And I was at Brunswick Bartz the other day doing the LGBTQIA Plus Inclusion Day. And this like random queer was like waving at me from across the pool area. And I was like, ha ha, yes, hello. And then later on they came up to me and it was Samuel and they were like, I don't think you recognize me, but it's me. We've worked together closely on these two projects really recently.

And I was like, what are you doing at a pool? It was really, yeah, I was like, you don't belong here. Get back to your studio. Neither have you belong in a poo. Yeah. Incredible. I think that's great. What a great speak hall.

And I did still get pink puff. ping guy. But that was on my own time. But also, this adds some context because a couple weeks ago, Daisy message the Instagram DMs of death to everyone, just saying in all capitals, are you mad at me? I think it's because we've taken a few weeks to do the speakhole. Well, why? Yes, we are. So Daisy's not mad at us anymore, but this new person you're seeing is going to be mad at you for getting up in the Huff Palace. Oh my God. I just, message in being like, stop listening. Stop.

I said, turn it off, turn it off. I need to charm you first. Let me tell you some of Zelda's good qualities. Oh. I'm thinking. She's so tall. No, he sent a message. I enjoyed your Gordon Ramsey rant.

No. You need like six months of exposure therapy to me before hearing me rant about things like that. Sophia. Oh, they'll get to listen to you rant about your catering this week. She lives on her own. She has. Suk-wekwe pants that are quite fetching.

An ample beard. She's Vidaligo. She's Italian and Caucasian. What else? She's gay. Gay! She likes to sip a gorgeous morning cup of cum. Fuck.

She likes anime and gaming. And bowls of puff. You're meant to be selling me, not deterring the haughty. She's eager to please. Okay. Time for a break. Thank you. She has a washing machine.

Welcome back, Lister, to our final section. Hairhouse warehouse will be open when I get there. And the topic for discussion is, which shade of manic panic hair dye gets into the bunker? Sunshine, let's go. Thank you for listening. listening. Well, death to everyone was brought to you.

Do it! Okay, Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Our theme sucking music was provided by Edacentric in Angus Leslie. If you want to say to us. Send it to us at speakhole.com

such debt to everyone. Oh, you can email it to us at deathday report at gmail.com. And watch your support us please at patreon.com such as that to everyone. And buy tickets to see the witchie girls live. Do it.

and then the other two events. Thank you for listening. Bye-bye.