Death To Everyone - Death To... Mutants, Flops & Particulates

Episode Date: July 14, 2026

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Hello. Hello, everyone. Listener. Welcome back. My sisters just sent me something that's quite, it's aggravated me. I think it's important to send your friends funny little things you find on your time on the internet. Because here's the thing. Also, welcome to death through everyone.

It's a show. So Lazy just sent me a entertaining video, which is a newlywed couple walking through, I don't know, their wedding ceremony or like whatever. And they're a blaze. They are on fire. Like full on stuntman style. Yeah. She's in a wedding dress.

He's in a tuxedo. Suddenly there's a spark and they're like seemingly just getting normal wedding photography. But. And then suddenly. They're a blaze. There's a spark and their whole back's light on fire. The bouquet is on fire.

There's someone walking behind them with a fire extinguishes so that the lawn doesn't catch on fire. It's fabulous. And then something happens at the end. Oh, I didn't see. Which is the... Fuck Quack Chaser at the end, looking at his phone, like, POV, we're the phone. And he's going like, what the fuck?

And I despise people doing that. That content. It's like, I saw something funny on the internet. And now my viral video is that. content and me going, what the fuck? I think the what the fuck thing is so frustrating because it's like, that's not a human response. You'd be like, cool. Yes. And like, oh, wait, I'm treated with a secondary joke. Someone else thought, what the fuck? There are like what the fuck moments where I do think it is good because they've pointed out something that's genuinely like, that's a weird

thing to say. But I think when people do it, it's like, the only thing you're painting a picture of is boring you are. Yes. But there are sometimes people where like hard cuts to them just like blinking. And I do enjoy it. There are like it's a there's a scale of whether it enrages or delights like that Devatron who got big when she was like looking at things fall downstairs and then they would smash on several levels. I love her. She's so funny. Do you remember? You know the one? Yeah. Oh, you got orbis in a glass. Are they going to be okay? And she's so beautiful. I love that. Well, there was a very fabulous woman

whose whole schick was reviewing people's things that they bring to a potluck and she would like give them sentences as if she was a judge. And like she'd be like, you know, you have get, you got, I grant you clemency like da da da da da da. And she was so

funny because then when someone would bring something shit, she'd be like, the electric chair for you and your barrister. And like all of this stuff. Anyway, she was so funny. I had hoot and a half and it would always just be like intercut between like people walking up to the camera and be like for the potluck I have brought macaroni and cheese in a pot and then she's like the guillotine yeah um yeah incredible um and then she turned out to be like super religious and like

really homophobic um and like she was just like i hope gay people get saved oh she's like i don't dislike gay people but i just like you know, need them to know that they're never going to make it. But yeah, listen, the, oh my God, where is you? I don't even know if we go. Is this? Yeah, here we go. Here she is.

The jury has found you innocent of all charges. You are free to go. Next. Everybody as well. This is our traditional beach weather. Yes. You got the meat. Most is cow.

Wow. Yeah. The electric chair for touching that meat with your raw hands. So funny, but also what? Yeah. I like sometimes forget as well that, I don't know, just how religious people can be. No. It's intense.

It is. And it just pops out. I don't like it. Anyway, this is the show. Yeah, my name's Selle-a-moon. I'm lazy Suzanne. And who's that? Trucking in the corner.

Who? It's our space car driver, Matt. It's me again. Why do we need a space car? Because we are two gargantuan celestial goddesses. driving through the void of space. We're going on a day trip. Yeah.

Yeah. Where are you going again, Matt? Yeah. So I'm driving a gigantic car. I think at some point we need one of those like, you know, one of those pornographic, like, um, hentai style, like us, you know, and like tight, skimpy little dresses with big, fat ass and giant tits crammed into the back of a space. face limousine and like our heel is like piercing and that's like trying to drive this tiny little

man you know that kind of fuge i love that yeah i just imagining like the steering wheel and and accelerate and stuff is all really tiny yeah in the front like stew it little at the front yeah yeah yeah um also it but it's kind of like um video game rules where like the shop on the outside is four of your character wide, but then when you go inside, all of a sudden, it's like a department store. Yeah.

In Stuart Little, the book by E.B. Way. I haven't read the book. I haven't seen the movie. Stuart Little is a mouse that in the book, it's never explained. In the movie, he's adopted by Gina Davis, but in the book, he's just born to her. And then...

That's wrong. Yeah, it's quite intense. Something's gone wrong, man. It's literary, you know, It's not, it doesn't need to be. It's magic realism kind of thing. But he grows up, you know, and he has many adventures. It's kind of like, there's no one story of Stuart Little.

He's just going place to place, kind of delighting people with his fabulous charming. Like Paddington, man. Yeah, he is kind of Paddington. He's very level-headed. He's very like, he's just like got old man wisdom in a small mouse body. But then at one point, he leaves his family behind because he wants to go and see the world. and he goes to a small southern town and becomes a teacher,

like a substitute teacher one day. And the premise, I think, of that scene is that one of the students who's like 12 falls in love with him and gives him a small lavender pillow that he can sleep on. And then I think he takes the lavender pillow and then there's a hot woman in the town

that he goes on a date with and he brings her down to the little. the riverbank and, you know, where he's been sleeping. There's a substitute teacher in the town. And they have like, oh no, because there's another tiny woman in the town. Oh, that's lucky. Like a tiny woman and a mouse and they go on a date together, which I think is like, if I was that tiny woman, she's like, I'm not just dating mice because I'm small.

What? Sorry. They're like, you know who you should date that talking mouse? Like, fuck off. What? Just because of their same. Yeah. Fuck you.

Anyway, Why would you go and date an elephant? Yeah, exactly. God, Thumbullina's such a bitch. But yeah, I don't think they make it past that. They just have one day. Oh. I see.

It's a weird subplow. But it doesn't happen in the film. Is, thank God. Why am I thinking that Tom Cruise is the voice of Stuart Little? Is that true? No, it's Michael J. Fox. Oh. Which was like kind of the comeback because obviously he,

is from Parkinson's and his career had kind of had a bit of like a like what's he going to do now because he can't really I mean he was still doing stuff but it was really quite hard for him to keep up with the demands. Yes of course but it was perfect because he was doing voice

acting and he's got a great voice although that film is I don't think very good I yeah although Gina Davis is in it Gina Davis and I love famous archer Gina Davis

Archer Did you know this? She's an archer? She learned how to become an archer for a film and got so good at it that she competed on. I don't think she went to the Olympics, but she was qualified. Wow. She's really quite the athlete. That's cool.

Isn't that cool? Imagine Gina Davis shooting an arrow at you. Yes. I'd welcome it. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. Hmm.

I'm going to have a story. Oh, go on. Okay, so. How are you? How are you? All right. Okay. On.

Jesus, bitch. This is only a three-hour pod, too. We've got to speed things yet. On. Okay, listen. So Sniffies is a, like, gay, like, hookup website. There's not an app, but. Oh, this is an app?

I don't believe so. I think it's all just through, like, a browser. Wow. And it's kind of like a big map and you are on the map wherever you are in the world. And the lens of Sniffies is like cruising. Like various cruising spots are there and you can like let people know if you're like going to a particular cruising spot or you could also just message people and try to plan to hook up or whatever. Like squirt or whatever. Yeah.

Yeah. You know it's so funny as well just as a quick sidebar on the Sniffies of it all. like Sniffies has been getting a bit more like I think they even got some capital investment recently like they went public whatever but it is crazy to me like every few years it's like a gay person

tries to invent an app that's like no this app or like website or whatever is just about fucking and then it's like so it starts and it's like and it's just about raunchy getting dick down you know where the people are so like that happened with like you know Grindr and then

over 10 years Grindr suddenly is like now like there are people on there that are like I'm not here to just hook up yeah I want to have a relationship yeah and it's just really funny how slowly I guess as they become more popular more mainstream people that are like not interested in like gay hookup culture yeah find their way onto these apps and I've really pissed off so I just like can't wait until we're going to weddings in five years time that are like sniffies wedding oh yeah oh my god everything eventually it's like the bumbleification of every app yeah yeah um yeah um yeah um yeah um yeah um Um, anyway.

Yes. No, no, no. And yeah, but the lens, at least at the moment of sniffies is much more like hookup focused. Um,

so quite often people like won't have any pictures of their face, but they'll just have pictures of their like body or their dick or their butt or whatever. Um, or nothing. There is a lot of like a non on there. And at present time, I don't have a sniffies account. But,

um, you can just like go on there as like, like an anonymous user and like you don't have to like I don't know fully participate but you can still message people and stuff anyway so maybe like a week and a half ago I went on sniffies and was just like having a look around a sniff if you will and I messaged this person who had two photos up and there were of him like you could see his face and like his butt in the same photo like two photos like that whatever I was like hey da da da da had a little exchange, like really little.

I think I, because I had like a completely like nothing account, I like sent through some photos, just like a few face photos and some nudes. And then that was that. Then the next day I went back on, saw a message from him that was like, oh, do you have an Instagram? And so I replied and I was like, oh, like also, this is something that gay people do all the time. It's like, oh, well, where else? Like, can we chat over here?

Or do you have Snapchat or do you have this? And it's like, well, you're sending that to me in this message form. What's the problem with just talking here? But anyway. Yeah, I never understood. I was never going to go across to Snapchat for that. Oh, my gosh. I'm like, you want me to download an app?

Right? Eat my ass. Yeah. Well. Well. Yeah. So anyway, but it's not uncommon and whatever. Like, I also was like, well, I don't really have an account here.

So I don't know. When it's not like I'm locked in to snippies at the moment. So I was like, oh, yeah, sure, here it is. And then I sent another message, like, maybe 15 minutes later that I was like, oh, because then I had a thought of like, oh, I don't really upload anything on my boy, like, account. at least not very often. Oh my mind, you'd send him your drag one. Yeah.

No. Good. And so then I sent a message me like, oh, I don't really upload there much, but we can chat there or whatever. Because, I don't know, was he asking for the Instagram to just get more picks to get a sense of like the real me or whatever? Or is it to message there? Yeah. Just so you know, the last picture is from like 2018 or whatever. When I died.

It's not, but you know what I mean. Anyway, then he replied being like, oh, well, what's your mobile number then? I was like, oh, okay, sure. So then again, whatever, I sent him my mobile number. Then I get a text from him being like, hey. And then I was like, oh, hey. And then I got a series of screenshots of all. of the nudes that I'd sent him on sniffies, my Instagram profile, several screenshots of like all the people that were following me on Instagram and several screenshots of like my, I don't know, like images that I'd put up with the most likes and comments.

And all of the like screenshots of the people who had commented on them. And then his message was like, I'm going to ruin your fucking line. I'm going to send all these photos to all of these people unless you like, I don't know, transfer me. He didn't say a number yet, but like a heap of money, basically. Yeah. To which I then like instantly blocked him, obviously. Yeah. And thought, good luck.

I've already sent my needs to half of those people. That is so scary. Isn't that so fucked up? I also just said I'm like, yeah, like that kind of. of what a wild fucking time because it would work obviously I mean for some well for the straight straight deal guys yeah like that would ruin their lives yeah for you it's like bitch what do you mean good luck I sent you those dudes because they are good pictures yes not because I'm ashamed of them and like I you know like I'm out to literally everyone in my life like there's no there's nothing

there. And also, if that person sent anyone those photos, they would then ask me what the fuck is going on and I would explain to them that you're being blackmail. And that would be fine. Yeah. I mean, like, short of the short term embarrassment of like, yeah, like, oh my God, someone you, you know, you casually know, getting a nude picture of you. It's like, yeah, but like, you're getting blackmail. So it's like, I didn't send it to you. No, no. But yeah, isn't that just so crazy? I mean, it's so foul that this is kind of like,

this person just probably does this for 12 hours a day. Yeah, yeah. But I am worried that you were that easily scammed. Well, I wasn't scammed. Well, you gave him your phone number and your Instagram. Yeah. But it's also like that same thing, pattern happens all the time and it's not a scam. Yeah.

So, I don't know. But anyway, I've, yeah, I had some learnings from that experience. But how fucked up? Yeah. Matt, you're not saying anything. I think it's scary. Yeah. Yeah, you should be careful.

And do you want to apologize for trying to extort me? I still got all those nudes. Nudies. Just waiting for my moment. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Wow. So anyway.

God damn. Yeah. Be careful out there, everyone. Yeah. Yeah. And if you do seize all this nudes. Yeah. And only send good nude.

Yeah, exactly. Only send a nude that you would want the world to see. Yeah. With your head chopped off. Yeah. God damn. I also just think I'm going to ruin your fucking life. Yes.

It's like, good luck. Yeah. Give it a try, darling. Have fun, sweetie. Couldn't get much worse. What are you going to do that I have an order to myself? How dare you? Do you know how I spend my days?

Please. You're not going to touch the blue tongue. Hung lizard, are you? Don't. It's winter. I think it's just in hibernation. Otherwise, it's moved on. Oh, well, it's a wild animal.

Lizzie Susan. Lizzie Susan. Isn't that his name? Yeah. Someone tried to pitch that. Who? Um. I think that's a good name.

It is good. Okay. Yeah. But anyway. That's crazy. I know. How often do you get blackmailed, though? That's quite chic.

Right? It's very... It's kind of been a while. At least you still got it. Yeah. Yeah. I think once AI becomes really like, advanced, it's just like there'll be just bot farms

where every single person will end up getting like hardcore blackmailed. And in the future, we'll have seen everyone's nudes. Yeah. It'll be like when everyone went on OnlyFans during COVID. It's like suddenly everyone had sexy Twitter and OnlyFans. Yeah. How do you think that ecosystem's going? I think it's majority collapse.

Like people just went back to their jobs. Yeah. Did you see that that Twitter celebrity hole next door has shut down his Twitter? Of course I did. And the whole internet is like, valet. Yeah. So listen to there was a man who had like kind of boy next door looks. He kind of looks like, you know, like a sweet boy scout who's grown up.

And is now working in his accountant. He's got a mustache and a sweet smile. But he became the kind of interstate. internet's boyfriend for a day because he had this gaping hole and his Twitter handle was hole next door. But there was this particular video where he is like fully dressed. He looks really cute. He's just standing in front of a wall and he's like in the little top and pair of jeans. And the video starts and he's just standing there looking, you know, quite pleased with himself. And then he drops his pants, turns around and his whole like literally like gaiting.

apes open and makes this like more sound that spy like send him to you know the forefront of every gay man's mind for a period of time and then yeah so and then you know Twitter was I send you a photo Matt Twitter was Twitter was at a loss because he shut down his his Twitter account yeah um but the and his image kind of became shorthand for like I could fix him or whatever yeah yeah Um, some version of that. He is actually so cute. He's such a, like, handsome guy. Yeah.

Oh. But I also think, like, maybe he was going for a promotion or something. And it just became, but it's like, I don't think you could put that genie back in its bottle after, um, yeah, after you've, you know, after you've become a star for your gaping hole. Yeah. Oh, man, I can't find a hole. I can only find the before. I can see it with the sound that he made.

Oh, okay, yeah. Well, this is an audio medium. Zelda often forgets that. I'm glad you made the sound. Yawning butt. Hmm. Yawning. Yawning.

Okay. Okay. So anyway, what about you? Do now you tell the debauch story? Debochery. Do I have any debauch story for this? Oh, no. No, right?

Oh, you're so boring since you got married. I know. No, no, you're exciting or whatever. Well, I did watch that Josh Richard, Richard Gatt. You know the baby reindeer guy? Yes. He made his new show, Halfman. Is it good?

No. Oh, but he looks hot. He got ripped, but he looks creepy. Yeah, that's hot. Yeah, he looks very, like, yeah, intense. but it's a show that so this guy got famous doing Edinburgh Fringe show and did a show that was like a kind of confessional about his life about a stalker that he had who became obsessed with him after going to see his Edinburgh Fringe performances and started following him and like had this kind of like unceasing obsession with him and then also his sexual assault at the hands of like a very famous comedy writer in the UK. And like him dealing with that.

And so everyone responded to baby reindeer. It was a huge deal and it was like very like intense and kind of like yeah. Like I felt like it was the very end of the confessional like era of comedy. Right. Like so it's like the Nanette era came to an end on the like baby reindeer e. You've, anyway, so. No, you haven't, but you should. I think you'd like it.

Yeah. Is it going to depress me? Yes, yeah, of course. It's very depressing, but it's really good. Okay. But then the, basically, the next show that he makes is like, um, the, this man, like a young gay boy, his mom starts, like, you know, she's broken up with her, like, her husband, and the boy's father, and she moves in her new girlfriend.

Because the mom is like, yeah, late and light lesbian. And she has a son too who's the same age as the boy. The boy protagonist is like a little sissy. It seems like a bit of like a closet homo sexual. A little fairy. Yeah, and the new boy that moves in is kind of an alpha jock type who is like a bad boy, like cuts people with box cutters at school and that kind of thing. and has a real intensity.

And in the style of this filmmaker now, the plot is essentially like another iteration on the same themes of baby reindeer. It's like a one, a meek man is like tormented by this like other energy in his life that's like stalking him and like part of his life and can't leave. But like this show is like so like unyielding

in how. how depressing and shit this person's life is, this protagonist whose life is completely destroyed by having this kind of faux brother brought into his life, this abusive man, as he's kind of coming to terms with his homosexuality and they have a weird sexual tension as well and it's all about their weird masculinity and it keeps cutting from them being like young teenagers

to them being adults at our protagonist's wedding, right? Oh, like gay wedding. Gay wedding. But the weird thing that happens in the show, in service of it being so unyielding, because that's gritty and real, is that, like, every single person behaves in a way that has never happened. Never happened. No person has ever behaved in this way. And so our protagonist, starts going to university, has his first gay romance with the most unbearable, like,

Manic Pixie Dreamboy who's just like, I tell it like it is, but I will not be disrespectful kind of like, he's got this weird like halo thing where we're meant to believe that the plot believes that he's like just a nice boy, but he's actually just like the most judgmental piece of shit, like whatever. But then he gets the ever living shit kicked out of him, his face forever scarred by the overbearing homophobic brother kind of thing. Oh. Yeah. So we witness a hate crime, episode three or whatever.

Like an intense hate crime where he's like stomping on his head. And then the show becomes kind of this like, well, what's going to happen? And will he go to prison for this? But just the weird thing that happens after this kid witnesses this intense hate crime of this guy that he lived with is that every single person responds to it. Like, we've got to go on the stand and testify and say that it didn't happen so that he cannot go to prison. And then like this guy's mother comes out of the woodwork and she's like, you've got to make sure that your your fake brother doesn't go to prison so you have to tell a lie. And I'm like, this late in life lesbian is telling her young gay son who witnessed a hate crime. And essentially

like the whole time has just been trying to protect him is suddenly like, you need to do, you need to do this. You need to lie on this. Anyway, just the whole thing is just like so morose. and shitty and sad. And like, it just feels like, like, the filmmaker or what Richard Gadd kind of mistakes intense things happening for it being good, for, like, a plot being, like, in place of a plot, we just have, like, a succession of worse and worse things happening to this one guy who seems to live in, like, an alternate reality where everyone fucking hates him. but the reason why is never quite explained.

And everything bad just continues to happen to this man over and over and over again. And it is wild to watch. And I'm like, I don't think we need this. Do you know what could have helped the tone of this show? Is if the lawyer was She-Hulk? Tatiana. Attorney at law.

I mean, I wish. Yeah. Just putting it out there. But in makeup, not in CG. Oh, my God. Or Matt. Murdoch? Or.

Turning it north. Daredevil. Boston Legal. True. James Pader. Wait, what about Ali McBeal? Where's Ali? Yeah.

Ali would have been like, this is a bummer. Mm-hmm. And what's that baby? Okay, that's everything we know about Ali McBeal. Yes. That's good. Okay, good. Anyway, and then just to add to the kind of, like the experience

of all this depressing gay media when it's all Leviticus, which is a new Australian gay horror film. What? Yeah. Oh. Which is like a kind of conversion therapy horror. What year is it set?

It's set, I think in present day, but like out of suburbs, Victoria, small town, shit hole. And there's like a little gay boy who goes to church with his. mother who's played by Mia Vasakowska, Alice, from Alice in Wonderland. And he starts hooking up with one of his high school buddies, who's also like Bogana boy.

And they're having a little romance. And then they get conversion therapy from like some minister. And it basically puts an evil curse on them that, like, they will see visions of the, the one they truly desire the object of their affection but if they go towards them and speak to them they'll like start killing them so it's like it follows kind of jeuge

and yeah it was just kind of like a bit too like I don't know I don't know about this like the kind of I feel like the film Snowtown has a lot to answer for because this kind of depressorama Oziana like it was like I'm excited that it got made but I am also just like,

everyone talking in low murmurs and like this kind of like washy, washy gray color tone. I'm like, I just... It's been done. Well, I just... It's a weird point of view of the world

where you're like, what if it was like a version of the world but there was no color and there was no... People didn't kind of speak like they talk in real life. Like there's no humor, there's no levity, there's no kind of like modulation of tone.

It's just this, like, even when they're falling in love, it's still the soundtrack is like, woo. And you're like, what? Like, what do you mean? Because it's like, at least, like, in films like Halloween, which I think do like that kind of like suburban nightmare so well, they have moments of levity.

They have moments where the characters are like talking and laughing about, and they sound like real teenagers or whatever. And in this year, just like, Like, when the boys are talking after having a hookup, he's like, I just feel like my mom's never been normal since dad died. And I'm like, what? Teenage boys are sitting there talking about that. Yeah.

You know, they should be talking about, you know, blue eyes white dragon. They should be trading Yu-Kiokas. What do boys talk about? They sure shit aren't talking about their mom's emotional stability since their dad died. Yeah. To their, like, Ladbro hookup. Yeah. Come on.

Get real. I'm curious to see this. Yeah, you should. Yeah. It's like, listen, and it's short, which is great. Like, how short? Like, 88 minutes, 84, 85 minutes. Oh, yeah.

Like under an hour and a half. Zoom's along, but it does still have, yeah, just a lot of scenes where they're like, and also like the weird, the rules of the It Follows thing. don't really like make sense. It only comes when you're alone. And then I'm surrounded by people and now it's coming for me. Like, yeah, yeah, you're just like, what? And it only comes at night.

And it's the daytime and there it is. Like, it's just like, what do you mean? Yeah. Yeah. So what, them being little teen gays is just the set dressing for the horror? No, no, it's like the essential. but because like, you know, in the kind of classic hellscape we live in where everything's just a metaphor. They're like, you know, the way that the conversion therapy works is that it makes you terrified of intimacy with the person you want to have sex with.

Oh, right. Yeah. And so like it's like it stays with you forever, but it stops you from living in your truth. Yeah. Maybe I didn't just say it. Yeah. No, I think it's, see it, but yeah. I mean, it's cool that it's like said in Victoria. Yeah. Yeah. And there were so many moments where I was like, that's, that's the Caribbean Rolorama. Actually.

And like, oh, that's the city baths. Yeah. Oh, yeah, good fun. But yeah, very impressive. I think it was a $750,000 film, which is great. Oh, yeah. And Mia Vasakasca is so beautiful. I need to see this.

I mean, you. You know her. You'll know her face. But the way they style her, because she's, like, obviously quite young. Oh, yes. Playing, like, a, like, a mom of a teenager. Yeah. So a bit weird because she's, like, 35 or 36 or something.

But they dress her as, like, Christian mom so fucking dowdy. Like, I don't know where they find this styling, but she's in, like, full block suits. Like, they just got a bolt of, like, nylon. fabric and just ran it around her a few times. She's a conservative woman. I like, I like it. Yeah. Well, Matt, do you have any updates for us?

No, not really. I didn't watch any good things. Oh, I did watch the first episode of House of the Dragon. We were talking about it. Yes. It was pretty dragony. So many dragons now. And ladies are not very excited about it.

Let me tell you something. Get those dragons out of there. We'll do a... It's called the House of the Dragon. They've got to have some dragons. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think we need to be that literal. Also, when your dragons look like that,

you shouldn't have that many of them. They look ugly. They meant to look ugly. They look so miskin ugly. They actually don't. I've seen them with my eyes. I see them and they go, oh. And they're the ones they're putting in the trailer.

That's the good ones. Oh, my God. I'm just like, that's too much CG for a TV show. I think they've done well. I like how they've all got, like, different sorts of characters. Yeah, yeah, no. That's Barbie.

No, but, like, you know how, like, different dogs have different sorts of characters? Yeah. They've got, like, personalities. Crazy. But it's not, like, through words, obviously, because they're dogs. Well, they're dragons.

Well, why didn't they get dogs to play them? Like, what's his name? Matt, the Doctor Who guy. What's his name? Caraxies. Yeah, Carraxies dragon. Yeah. all like the whistles and

and he's like a really bendy neck. Yeah, because he's a freakazoid dragon. Yeah, it's cool. Yeah, it's fun. It's fun.

Listen, hates things. I love to hate things. Yeah. But I also just hate ugly things. I'm going to, we're next, we're not going to do it today,

but we're going to do a which, like, Westrocy dragon gets into the bunker. And I'm going to make you suffer through it. So, ha. That's what I say on that. I just thought we were done.

No. I thought we were done. The world is not done with Game of Throneses. No, I thought we were, 10 years, we gave them a decade of the culture. Can we just be done? No. They've redeemed themselves after the last season of Game of Thrones. Yes.

Everyone hated it so much. They're like, we've got to keep going. We've got to keep going on that. Well, HBO definitely was like, this was meant to be our fucking golden ticket. But House of the Dragon has redeemed. Anyway. I liked that giant rugby player. Oh, yes.

Yes. Yeah. Oh, my guys. Okay. Who's destroying the world today? I will. All right. I said that and then I didn't have anything.

Ah. What about? The world's helium supplies depleted because there was a giant party for Kim Kardashian's. How does that kill everyone now? Matt, do you know how essential helium is for human life? No, I don't. I mean, modern civilization relies. on helium.

Hot air balloons? No, well, it's used in the creation of a lot of electronics. Is it? Yeah. And they're just putting it in balloons? Yeah, that's, I mean, that's why they've trying to, um, that's why they're trying to limit that. Are they?

Yeah. Um, and it's also a finite, uh, a finite, uh, resource. Yeah, because it just dissipates, doesn't it, it doesn't like, it doesn't turn back into helium once, like if it gets released into that atmosphere, it doesn't, it doesn't come back. Yeah, oh yeah. And you kind of, it comes out. Water. It gets evaporated and then comes back. But here's what it's used for. It's used for the chip making process for semiconductors. Prinkles. Fiber optics. High speed internet cables must be manufactured in a pure helium atmosphere to prevent air bubbles from getting trapped in the fiber. And electric vehicles and hard drives.

Helium is utilized for battery testing and helium-field computer drives provide 50% higher storage capacity. Yeah, and for rockets and all. Rockets? Isn't that crazy? They're thinking about trying to mine helium from the moon. Isn't that cool?

Like, kind of. What? We've exhausted this planet onto the next. Already? I'm not sad of anything happens to the moon. What's happening up on the moon? Nothing. It's just a rock. We've got plenty of rocks. But none with helium. Yeah.

I have to complain about Avatar season two, as in live action. Live action Netflix. Honey. Avatar Ang Airbender. Honey. Yeah. Go on. It's bad.

Okay. Wait. What's bad? Pretty much all of it. Okay, but that happened in season one? Yes. So why did you know what happened in season two? Well, because I've started watching.

Well, why the fuck? It all just came out this week. It's only seven episodes as opposed to the eight of season one. It, um, oh, obviously this, no, we're recording this out of time. It's, it's more ugly than it should be. It's really, they're, it's interesting. I was listening to going rogue this week. Tansy Cup.

Tansy Cup. And she was talking through, what episode was it? she was talking through I can't remember which film but she was talking about how they shot insert film here like it was a show so like multi-cam

and how when you shoot multi-cam everything has to be really well lit because you need lots of different angles to be visible and lit which is why sitcoms kind of look so bright and da-da-da-da which is quite interesting

and made a lot of sense but it kind of feels like that. Yeah. Like I just listened to it and then I started watching this show and there is just like no atmosphere in any set, in any location. Yeah. Of which there are many like on site locations, which is fabulous.

And like some of the sets that they've made are exciting and everything. But oh, there's like zero vibe. Yeah. And it is just and again, it boggles the mind because the source material is like so fantastic. and full of the things that all live action adaptations of it lack. But yeah, there's no atmosphere in anything. The acting continues to be pretty abysmal. The script is also terrible.

The pacing of the show is egregious. It's just like, now this is happening. And in the next scene, this will happen. And now this happens. Like, there's never any just time. No. It's just... From a show that that was, like, known for.

Yes. Just having, like, a bit of like, okay, now we're here. Yeah. And I think season two is trying to have that and executing it really poorly because it all feels like a post-it note on top of a problem. It's like, oh, no, now Zuko is saying something, Zadie. Yeah. It's like, right. But in a scene that is about the next thing that's happening.

Yeah. It's not a scene about them just experiencing each other and developing a friendship. Yeah. Oh. And Azulamay and Tiley, I know. not it. No. And unfortunately, like, so I'm four, four episodes in.

What? May was one of my favorite characters in the show. Love her. But it's really interesting because in all the fight scenes, Asola does nothing. She just kind of stands there and, like, whips around some blue flames. Tai Lee is circus freaking it up. She's, like, acrobatting over and doing her, like, pressure point stuff. and it's all really cool.

And then May is standing there and throwing some knives every now and then. And she has like no vibe. Nothing. It is the classic like, I'm a bit of an emo girl and like, yeah. Like it's the cringiest version of like the twilight version of that trope. Yeah. But in the avatar world and it's like, yes, that's more her like she's a depressed teenager and that's her like edgy vibe.

but it's not Daria. Yeah. It's just this like, oh my God, it's just so flat and cringe. Yeah. Every part of it. So it's a real shame. Four episodes you say. Even Judy.

Like, oh my God, the execution of Judy is so just not it. You get a couple of like weird vacant stairs from her, but it just doesn't capture it. Yeah. It feels like everyone is too afraid to commit. Yeah. on the cast. Yeah. And so it doesn't feel full of character.

It doesn't feel really earnest and gritty. It just lands somewhere in the middle that is like completely safe. Yeah. And completely boring. I think that's, well, the thing that there's just no way of escaping is like that this, this thing just doesn't need to exist. Yeah. There's just no reason to have it.

No. And it's like, if you liked Avatar, then give the guys. that made Avatar, like, money to make a different show. Like, sorry? Like, the Avatar is perfect. It's amazing. It's perfect. And it's perfect partially because it's a fucking animation.

Like, that's what it's doing really well. And it's like, at the end of this whole whatever, this will probably end up being like a three or four year experiment of making this show, we will now, we will have something that to me just, doesn't need to exist. And we'll have contributed nothing to the culture, nothing new or like, yeah.

It's interesting because my reaction to it is quite different to the Netflix One Piece series. Which people like. Yeah. And I am excited for season two, mostly because of Katie Segal. But, like, I never watch One Piece.

Yeah. But I'm obviously very aware of One Piece. But I think one piece, the way that they've done it has a lot more character. Like that lead is also very charismatic and he fully commits to that performance, which is really fun. But it's just got a lot of like, it is even, like it really leads into like the zany. It is like watching a live action anime in the way that it's shot and some of the angles

and all of this stuff. And like it's very purposefully costuming. I don't know. it's just interesting that Netflix have produced both these shows at the same time and one misses the mark in every single way. And like the One Piece Live action certainly isn't perfect and also arguably like doesn't need to exist and stuff. But it's a bit more of like a celebration of the original series

and like knowing that you would never be able to do One Piece live like one to one because there's like 10,000 episodes of One Piece. Imagine. It's like no, it's like more of a celebration and like the highlights and like the key bits. but whereas like avatar is the opposite. It's like you arguably could do a one for one if you were doing a buffy season of 24 episodes. You know, like the scope is much smaller and more contained.

And yet it just hasn't landed. I don't know. It's, yeah. I just had to get that out of my system. Well, I can't believe your capacity to continue watching long after you've decided that this thing is not worth watching. There's only one more episode to go in this season of From. Are you fucking kidding me?

You're not watching from. Yeah, it's so bad. What do you mean? You know it's bad. What do you need to know? How bad it could truly get. There's so many great shows you have not seen. You could be watching.

I'll get to them too. No, you will not. You will spend your life watching shit. Yes. God damn it. There's no helium left on earth. Yes. It won't matter anyway.

We can't make microchips. Yeah. Oh, did you see? You know, hard drives are just so expensive at the moment. And they're going to get more expensive now that we don't have helium. I was watching a video yesterday about this company and they were like this Chinese company that was blocked from like being able to update their tech on microchips so that an American company could continue to advance. But then because of the block, they've developed this other microchip technology that's, being launched next year.

Cool. It was really cool. Anyway. I would love to know more of the details then. Oh, no, no. Sorry about that. And we'll be right back. Hello and welcome back to listener.

Hello, listener. Have you gotten yourself a Gatorade? I hope so. Have you sipped it? Did you get blue or did you get orange? Or did you get the extra rare bright day glow green? Day glow green? You know, it's like a,

Yellowy day, go green. Oh, yeah, yeah. We are starting today with a speakhole. Hey, we love it when you send us a speakhole. Yeah. We like to hear your perspective on things. Yeah. And then we like to add our two cents.

This one's from Lance. And we just had one the other week from Lance. And then I messaged Lance to say, was that you, Lance? And he said, yes. So now he sent another speakhole. So I don't know what he's going to say. But, yeah. Well, here's Lance.

Hey, Lance. Hello, Celestial. goddess is Anne Matt. I hope you're all doing well. It's Lancy here with another question or topic for discussion, which I shall now birth.

And I had a look at the Google Doc. I don't think this one's been covered before, but forgive me if it has. My topic for discussion is which mutation gets into the bunker. So

that could be purely an X-Men mutation. Like, I know we already have Mystique in the bunker who can shape-shift into anyone. Rebecca, remain in the bunker, please. But this is more, like, mutation-related if, over time, the survivors

were to mutate and obtain various abilities. Or you could go another route. Like, does incest become a thing? And do we have, like, the Hills Have Eyes mutation? Yeah, curious to hear what you think Anyway, thanks for the content

And yeah, that's it Boy, bye Hello, hi Okay, what about the Muted On? What's the Muted On? From the Jurassic World franchise? Oh no. See, this is what I'm talking about.

No, no, I'm saying that as a joke because I hate it so much. The Jurassic World films were like dinosaurs They've been around for quite some time famously I'm sick of them What if we made new mutant ones Yeah And also I mean the way that that was sold

And the movies was like Visitors were declining at Jurassic Park Etcetra Because I've seen a Stegosaurus But what if you haven't seen A Stegosaurus crossed with a pterodactyl Yeah We also haven't seen that in the film

But Which is weird it because like there's no way that they would mutate it they'd just bring in minions or something what like they would just be like we're doing a partnership with illumination now come and see the stagastosaurus in a minions outfit and you can get a minions hat true and then Jurassic Park would be like that and like weirdly loony tunes or something why spider dinosaur yeah why what's his name dino spider dinos spider what isn't that one of the the X-Men Dino Spider.

Yeah. In Marvel Rivals. Isn't that a thing? What? You can turn into a dinosaur? There's devil dinosaur. Devil dinosaur. Oh.

Is that daredevil and dinosaur? No, no, no. And celebrity dinosaur. No. What's that? Wait, what? Devil dinosaur. Yeah.

Devil dinosaur is from an alternate universe where dinosaurs have like more sentience. That's right. I can't believe you just brought up Marvel. I thought it was relevant to the story, but it's not. Is the thing in Marvel rivals that they are training, were you saying? The context is you're not actually fighting. Or is that battle warrior? No, what are they, what's the context?

Why is everyone fighting? So there was a time stream entanglement where Dr. Doom from 2099 and Dr. Doom from the present. were both doing evil Doctor Doom things, trying to take over the world or whatever. And then both doing the same spell at the same time, created a time stream entanglement, where several timelines four, actually,

have all been entangled, and now, like, characters from 299 universe are wanting something in the present-day ones, and then the Galactic Empire of Wakunder want something else, and then da-da-da-da-la. So all of these like displaced heroes and all these villains taking advantage of the chaos in the universe trying to get their own what's it? Like King Ping wanted to be mayor. Black one garment?

Yeah. Yes, exactly. That didn't work. Oh. So then, but each, each, like, actual, like, gameplay thing is, like kind of a little part of that story depending on which map you're on or whatever. I hope they win. Yes. I had some really good games last night, just saying.

Between episodes of Avatar. Yes. Sounds like a fun night in. I think you just need to look at your media diet, your consumption. And make some recommendations. Yeah. I think all those fabulous things you could be doing. Go on.

I would love for you to become like an encyclopedic. knowledge and whatever new fabulous indie games have come out. Yeah. Wouldn't that be chic if you were that girl? Oh, sorry. And you were like, I did this instead of playing Marvel writer. I mix it up. Go on.

Oh, there's not enough time. Okay, but yeah, well, we've covered our X-Men mutations for now. We've got Emma. We've got mistake. That's good. January Jones. Rebecca, Roman. Mutations.

Heterochromia? Yeah. Love that. What does that do? Two colors. One eye. David Bowie. Wait, two colors in one eye or two different eyes?

I think it could be either. Okay. Yeah, whatever. That's pretty cool. I mean, also, like, blue eyes in general, that's a mutation. I mean, everything's a mutation, I guess. You know I watch a lot of snake content. Yeah.

famously they're always mutating. Yeah. It's different. Yeah. Wow. I mean, that does happen. That's crazy. But really selective breeding and all of this makes all these different like morphs,

like different colorways of the same breed of snake. And even though like I have no interest in never getting a snake, that stuff is so interesting. And like having watched snake content for a few years now, like kind of being like weirdly versed in like what new morphs are appearing and like as the years go by you can selectively breed new colorways in and stuff. New color way just dropped. But like actually.

Yeah. And that is so weird. Yeah. And what I don't understand as an outsider is like, will you have like your pet snake? Like you have your snake. But unlike fish or. I don't know, like sneakers. Like you only need, like, or arguably can have room for like, I don't know,

maybe like one to five snakes or something, unless like a hardcore snake person. Yeah. At which point you're keeping them in tubs in a rack, not in display things. Yeah. But the industry continues on and is massive. And then all these new colorways come out. And it's like people, and they have really high price points, the more rare the colors are. but it's like who is the market here?

Because if you just want a pet snake, you might want a cool color, but you buy that once, and then that's your pet for the next five to 20 years. Yeah, yeah. But then the collectors of color, like, it's just so weird. Whereas like in an aquarium or something,

you can have many different types of fish. Yeah. Or depending on the setup you have or whatever. Or like if you're a person who, like shoes, you can have as many pairs of shoes as you like and you can rotate them. Yes. But just collecting different colorways of Hognos snakes doesn't make sense. Yeah.

But it's huge. It is. I mean, it's so weird. Anyway. It's a weird little world out there. Yeah. What's the most? I like the yellow snakes.

I've seen those. Oh, my God. And some of them have the most hideous names. Yeah. Oh. Go on. Oh, just like. or just stupid.

Like, I don't know, there's like lavender morphs. There's like, then there's like snowball and there's this and there's that. Oh, come on. Silly. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm just looking at a list of famous mutants. Obviously Godzilla. Oh, yeah.

And, you know, that is a lot of people, a lot of Godzilla fall under that Godzilla banner. Yes. But they are all mutants. Warhammer 40K, I don't understand how they're mutants. Does someone want to explain to that to me? Hello? I'm not across the Warhammer. No, I mean, just the law seems to be so deep.

What are the ninja turtles? Yeah, the famous teenage. Mutant. Ninton turtles. They might get in on which teenager. But mutants, I don't know that they have it. You think they've got more crowd as a teenager than as a mutant? They're too big.

And they don't. They don't read as teenagers. No. They read as... Stewart Little Teenage Mutant. Stuart Little is a mutant. For sure. Well, yeah.

For sure. I've never seen The Toxic Avenger, but he's a mutant. Listen, Mutant League hockey, What the fuck is that? Mr. X from Resident Evil. Mr. X. Mr.

B. Mr. B. He's a mutant, definitely. Lila from Futurama. Sorry to spoil it. Yeah. Very important. They have Danny Phantom here from the show Danny Phantom.

And the thing that worries me about that is, I guess he is kind of mutated, but. He's more ghost, you know, famous ghost. What? Did you ever watch Danny Phantom? No. Okay, that's okay.

They also have Crash Bandicoot. I didn't realize he was living with such trauma. Oh. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Wait, what's the story, though? What is Crash Bandicoot? I think he was experimented on by that evil guy, wasn't he?

Oh, my God, really? There's that, like, there's that mad scientist. guy. Crash was genetically engineered through the use of cortex and Dr. Nitrous Brio's evolutionary, evolvore, before escaping from Dr. Neo-Cortex's island fortress, crash became romantically attached to a female bandicoot named Tornah, who was another one of cortex's experience. Crash's separation from Tornar at the hands of cortex serves as a primary root of Crash's antagonism of Cortex. Crash is a very emotional character who's quick to laugh and quick to cry.

While he has a danger-loving, fearless nature and loves a good fight, they have citations for that. He prefers relaxing in the sun and rarely seeks out trouble deliberately. Okay. The crash is cool. I just, I don't know. I mean, that explains why he's always running around. He's pretty crazy.

He's a mutant. Burning dervish. He's not like, he's not all there. Oh, God. And is he collecting apples? Yes. Why? That's what he eats.

Bandercoots love apples. Do they? Yeah. Do they? Yeah, with that little snout. And he's a genetically modified bandacout. So he used to eat it a lot. Yeah.

You think, you know, he could be collecting anything like buzzcola kind of, joj. Is he also? That's, Simpson's hit and run, isn't it? Yes. Is he collecting bananas too? He likes fruit Not bananas Oh Donkey Kong

Collects bananas Is he a mutant Donkey Kong Well All of those All of those Mario characters They're all mutants What about basket case

Is he a mutant Basket case You know from the horror franchise Basket case I don't know It's about a man And his brother But his brother

Is like a little lump Like a little terrifying lump like a mutant and he's like just a massive skin with like eyes and teeth and like a weird little face and he keeps him in a basket

and then the brother goes crazy and starts killing people but they he moves to New York and he's running around with his little basket and whenever he opens it they look into the basket

and there's his brother going does he talk? Yeah you need to have a look at you know basket cases Okay, one moment. He's quite a fun mutant because he's in a basket, which I think is like what really is missing from the teenage mutant in the turtles.

Matt, do we already have Godzilla in the bunker? Do you know where you get that in somehow? Godzilla. Oh, this basket case is terrifying. Yes. Ew. Isn't it amazing? But I mean, this era of that always reminds me of Attack of the Killer Condom.

Sorry? Now I'm confused. Wait, you've not seen Attack of the Killer Condom. No. We should... What's that in my way? Attack of the killer condom. Yes.

What happened to mutants? As a concept for a thrilling character. I don't know. Oh, that killer condom does look scary. Yeah. And you know what happens when you put it on, don't you? What? It bites off your dick.

Holy shit, not again. Yeah. And do you think that that was trying to get people to not... use condoms? Um also who's it's been a while since I've been a lot of sense

how often is that mistake being made by the people in this film Um well the the killer condoms are kind of mutants in their own way and they like infiltrate

so they like sneak into the place of regular condoms Are they sealed? Uh because I'm not putting on a loose condom Yeah I'm not sure But I think it's like

Like, the moment you look away to, like, I don't know. They switch out with the condom. Yeah. Yeah. And then it finds off. Sneaky. And then does it digest it or does it just have like a severed dick inside of it as it continues? We don't really, I can't recall really seeing many dicks in that movie.

That seems like an issue. Yeah. Oh, I'm due to a rewatch, really. Yeah. Well, we can add it to the list. Yeah. What was the, how did you end up seeing this film? Oh, SBS late-night movies.

Ah, very good. Do you know that our friend, Mr. Angus, Ingus Kirby, his film recently was on TV, I think it was on Channel 9 during the daytime. Oh. And I just think that is the coolest thing. He'd made this, like, the fabulous low-budget, kind of like freaky Friday kind of thing, like a body switch erotic drama kind of thing. but like I made it for like practically no money and it is now like yeah it's gone up in different

places I think it's on I view that is so cool isn't that fun yeah that means like someone somewhere is having the same kind of experience that you are having with killer condoms just flipping the channel and suddenly seeing yeah his freaky-diki erotic body change thing that's fun yeah um yeah so Matt is there any Godzilla's in the bunker yeah we've got um 2024 Academy Award winner Godzilla. Oh, yeah. Oh, true. Yes, yes.

She's there. Good. Just check. Along with alpaca wool. Alpaca wool fabric. It's glad you. Five foot one women. Yes.

Vanessa Hudgens. Yeah. Although alpaca will be removed. Did we? Yeah. Oh, we'll have to cross that out. Yeah. Well, no.

That should be a stock take episode that that was taken out. Okay. Fuck, Matt. I'm trying to close up today. I'm glad we put Vanessa Hutchins on in. Yeah. Put your sneakers on. That's gone viral again.

Her song, Sneaker night. Sneaker night. Basically what we're going to do is dance. Attack of the killer condom. That's a sneaky night. Sneaker, you'd be, you'd be forgiven for making that mistake. Basically what we're going to do is dance. Basically what we're going to do is dance.

What? Put your sneakers on. Put your sneakers on. You know, she's singing a song about wearing sneakers, so you could have a sensible night. Dancing. But the video is amazing. Yeah. Cool.

Sorry. She's my favorite mutant, actually. Do you know who my favorite mutant is? I'm going to put the line in the sand. Elizabeth Taylor. Go on. Had the famous mutation, the lilac eyes, and the double set of eyelashes. The double lashes.

Come on. Oh, yeah, that's good. I support that. I would like, who's afraid of a junior wolf, Elizabeth Taylor? Yeah. Where she's yelling at Richard Burton, and she's angry about the way her life is going. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Let's do that. Elizabeth Taylor, who's going to play her? Can we get, who's playing her in the bunker? She's going in. Well, she's dead. Her ashes?

Yeah, sure. Or. And can they have like two sets of folks? Lashes on the urn. Or we could get Lindsay Lohan when she played her in that made-for-TV movie. Lindsay Lohan already in the bunker? Matt? Lindsay.

Maybe we just put a second pair of lashes on Lindsay Lohan. I guess, yeah, everyone has that mutation now. Yeah, we've just got a mugshot of Lindsay Lohan. Of course. Well, put some lashes on that. Yeah, we'll put a second pair of lashes on the mugshot of Lundy. Oh, no, we do have like, Lindsay Lohan. Oh, we've got the Linsie Lohan.

playing adult version, adult version playing both characters of the twins from the parents. That's right, of course. Okay, well, she's going to have to take a day off that. Play, you know, reprise her role as of Elizabeth Taylor. And that, that makes me happy. I was watching a Lindsay Lohan ad yesterday. So, felt so evil. I was watching a Lindsay Lohan ad the other day.

Yes. Like you, like, settled down to, like, let's see what this is all about. And it was about selling like, oh, it was like some evil targeted millennial ad for like some accounting software. Let me tell you something. There's something wrong with that woman. Yes. I mean, obviously. But like, there's something that has happened.

Because like, you know how she's like, now she's back. Oh, yeah. She's back. But she sold her soul to the devil or something. in order to return in such a beautiful form. Yes, like she went inside of a chrysalis and a murd. Because, yeah, even when you hear her talk, it's like she's just like, there's just something not there.

Yeah. Did you watch the freakiest Friday? No. No. That surprises me. No. I don't know. There's something about that Jamie Lee Curtis that's really rubbing me the wrong way.

Yeah. Why is that? She robs me the wrong ways, whoa. I think it's just that she's just the most fucking annoying thing. Yeah. I think it's because she's a complete narcissist. Yes. But she has just been so successful her entire life that she,

humility has escaped her. And she just is like this completely unfiltered force. I mean, God bless. She's a great actor, but it's like, yeah, it's like just sometimes you're like, fuck Jamie Lee, what the hell? Yes. That's an insane thing to say. And I think she fancies herself as like a kind of,

I just tell it like it is. But I'm also really warm and loving and that sort of thing. Yeah, but I don't see that sad. No. No. Well. Well, Lindsay, you're going to be busy. Yep.

We have those extra mutated lashes. Yeah. Well, we'll be right bit. Yeah, no. Hello Mr. It's us. It's time to discuss which flop

Which goes into the bunker? Okay, so this one This one is like maybe a little bit late by the time you're hearing this, but obviously, have you been following the flop Flopmageddon of Lizzo? No. Mama.

Mather. So Lizzo, Elizabeth. She just put out a new album. She did just put out a new album. It's not going good. No. So basically, Lizzo has been, I don't know, she's been like struggle town, obviously since the lawsuit was, you know, when her backup dancers, they came for her for alleged sexual harassment.

Yes. And discrimination. Yes. Um, which I think basically like seems like it was quite a lot of nothing. Um, but did enough to kind of throw her off her like full streak. Yeah. Um, anyway, then she's like now kind of come back. She's also, you know, like she's lost a little weight.

Like her whole kind of like thing has changed a little bit. She'd kind of had some like big, yeah, wishy wash moments like where she was hardcore vegan. and then went off veganism. Then she's like putting out this album. She doesn't feel like she's getting the album support by the record label. So she like starts posting up like advertisements for herself, like trying to do a viral moment where she's like,

everyone needs to pre-order my album, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then the album comes out. They sell 2,600 copies. And it doesn't crack the billboard 200. So it doesn't exist. And then a week later, it dropped down to 600 album sales. Oh, 600? 600 total.

6-0. 600. In America? Yeah. Well, in the world. Yeah. Or... Sorry, flop.

Are you kidding? I mean, the album sucks. Dick. but oh yeah well i mean the issue okay so like i was definitely big on the lizard train loved some of her stuff um well like her early stuff was so fab but then it just like stayed completely in this lane of like that's it there we go i said everything i've got to say like her whole shit

like it there's something about that kind of toxic positive stuff yes

that's like and bitch you can do it bitch and you're just like okay and like kind of going back

to what we're talking about and Juliet and how patronizing this like weird mid 20 teens like feminism

and yeah pro LGBTQ only plus stuff, like, felt. It's like talking to grown adults like their babies who are, like, getting play school. Mm-hmm.

And Lizzo was just doing that. And, like, the tune has never changed. Yeah. So it always is just this kind of, like, wishy-washy empowerment message, but, like, with nothing else. Mm-hmm. And it's like, you can do what? Hey, you are! And you're the best.

And then it's like, and then what? Nothing. Yeah. But also, you don't know me. I might not be the best. You happen to be right in this case, however, but you don't know that. It's just, I mean, I hate all of that, like, all of that stuff. Yeah.

And, like, social media is the worst for it. Like, you deserve a little treat. You deserve this. How do you know that? Yeah. You don't know. You don't know. Hitler could be watching this.

Have you ever thought about that? I. Have you ever thought about Hitler could be watching this? Yeah. And you're just telling Hitler he deserves a treat. Yeah. That I think is a bit fucked up. Yeah.

Can you be so for real? Come on. You think Hitler needs to just glam up and go out on a sneaker night? Speak. Each incentive. What you're saying. No, I asked someone, I asked a friend the other day. I was like, what superpower would you want?

Yeah. And she was like, oh, I already have so many. Oh, but if I had to pick another one, I don't know, maybe like time travel. Yeah. I was like, oh, yeah. And she's like, and then I can go back and write some wrongs. Oh, yeah. Just a few.

Yeah. And I was like, oh, like, I don't know, go back and like take out Hitler or something. She was like, what? No, I mean, like, go back and stop myself from saying the embarrassing thing in high school. I was like, oh, right. And then is Hitler on like day two? Yeah. And she was like, that's not really what I was thinking about with time travel.

It's not really about that. So he's saying that with the power of time travel, you wouldn't go back to prevent him? And do you know what? We need people like her. Because if someone with more aspirations did it, you know the fucking up the time space continuum. And then time stream entanglement. Yes, and then we have to play Marvel rival. But yeah, with her doing like weird little shit, that's fine.

Yeah. Because, you know, butterfly effect and all that. I haven't seen that movie It's so bad Amazing It's incredible Bad amazing I think I want to get

Ashton Kitch's haircut From the faculty I always love to He's not in the faculty What Ashton Kitchens in the faculty No What

He's not in the faculty Is he I don't think Ashton Kut is Josh Hartnett Josh Hartnett Are they're the same person They are not the same person Are you? Okay.

One was punk in America. The other one wasn't. Well, anyway, I think I should get Josh Hartnett's haircut from the faculty. The façard. I should come true. We don't need to. He's already in it. I just love how it was like spiked out at the back.

Yeah. Anyway. Which haircut from the faculty gets into the bunker? We need, we need idiot. with time travel we can't have unless you're really smart you know what I mean we can't have people just like fucking up

world history yeah although maybe they could I mean what's the worst it's gonna happen it's not like it's going well so what are we talking about floppers so what are some big

flops you remember from your like life like Like when something was coming out. Like obviously... They flop out and they're coming. Sorry? Sorry? Yeah.

Quite a few of those. Sorry. And they'll make me choose. Like, you know, Star Wars episode one. Was that your first experience of a flop? No. That revitalized a franchise that was thought dead. Restarted it for the next generation years to come.

A visionary tale by... George Lucas expanding on his already astounding work. Yes. Yes. Sorry. The final proof that he should never be allowed to direct a film ever again. He paid for all of it. But also that wasn't a flop. You know what was a flop. It was critically a flop.

No. Yes. At the time? Yes. Not to me. Oh. Are you a critic? Yes. Sorry, God. What was your first experience of something you were excited?

about that you found out was a flop was a flop i i mean like i do think that the rebuild evangelicalian films are flop zilla they're ugly they're they're they're trying to do things that more modern animas have done successfully but like just stealing some of those concepts and applying them to your source material from the 90s like doesn't result in a better version of one of the greatest pieces of media the first rebuild film not a flop was like really fun

it's like oh we're getting this same story with a bigger budget and more of a cinematic spectacle but then it all started to change and like the final two are really like flop down also I hate Mari I don't give me a cute anime girl in a pink plug suit because like pink cells that is

So shit. Was she not in the original? No. How did they get her in? They just like introduce her. She like flies in from a helicopter. Well, if you're going to come in somewhere. What's her josh?

She has glasses and the pink plug suit. And she also. She stole her tutu for her husband. Oh God. She. There's just like too much overlap with her personality and like Oscar's personality. It's just, it's just bad. And it also just wasn't needed.

Yeah, but pink. And pink, which is just like a cloying marketing attempt to sell a new line of toys. Is she someone's favorite? I can't imagine a world, which is anyone's favorite. Someone's cosplay as her. Yeah. For the pink. Yes.

And that I despise. Like, oh, you see that, like, pink girls with, like, glasses sell? Like, obviously, bayonetta is the queen of that. But, oh, you don't have a girl in your show that has glasses. Or we have Hikari, but you don't want to use Hikari for some reason. Like, it's just ridiculous. So that's quite a flop. That is a flop.

Yeah. The rebuild of Neon Genesis Evangelion. You know what would certainly be a flop? Yeah. Is when, and I'm kind of surprised it still hasn't happened. But should they ever do a live action? Oh, what a dark day that will be. Oh, yes.

Because in a world where there's a never-ending cavalcade of like, Godzilla films and then we've had Transformers, we've had Pacific Rim. Yeah. Like having not had Gundam or Evangelian live action is kind of wild. Yeah. But I don't, I actually don't know how that hasn't happened. But yeah, fuck. But that would be a flop town.

That would be flop. Well, we actually need to, like people, people need to stop. Yeah. Skyward Sword was a flop. I fucking hate that game. What was that? the cities that have legs or giant machines that was a flop the Hobbit films were made's runner no the

what was the one it was Peter Jackson Alita Battle Angel she was a flop yeah sorry Alita yeah um yeah I mean the Metaverse yeah the Mark Zuckerberg's Metaverse that turned out to be bad when he was like we're all gonna go and live via where you can make a little a me Me? Did you miss that Zelda? What? Metaverse.

Metaverse. Sorry? She's in there right now. No, I'm trying to understand. What are you talking about? You know, the Metaverse. The Facebook, like, virtual world that Mark Zuckerberg created. What?

He created a virtual world and he wanted people to like... They basically spent millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars being like, we're going to... This? It was like a Sims world, wasn't it? This is like that thing with Ugandan hedgehog. Sorry. Now I'm confused.

What? You don't know Ugandan? Hang on. Ugandan knuckles. You know? Do you not know about Ugandan knuckles? We're talking about the metaphors, not the Ugandan knuckles. Have you not seen this?

No. Who is she? In what game was it? It's like the VR chat thing. SMG4? Sarah Michelle Geller 4 Jesus Christ SMG4 Oh I actually don't know

It doesn't matter It doesn't matter anyway You get into knuckles You don't know That's fine Matt what's a flop for you Um Maybe

3D TV Oh I didn't really go anyway That was floppedina Well those curved TVs Yeah What about like dried banana.

Do you think dried bananas a flop? Yeah. She has her fans. What? Dried banana. Yeah. Dried banana.

Like dried banana. I feel like dragged banana was someone we made famous that shouldn't have been famous, but did, like, she was in every travel mix. Yes. For like a decade. But that's the thing. If you're best represented in like an assorted mix, yeah, that's an issue.

Ma'am. Because like I'll buy the thing of Eminem's. peanuts. Yeah. Or like the crispy M&M's solo because they're so good, I just want that. Yeah. And then in the event where you're at something where it's like a mixed M&Ms, I'll fish them out because they're the best.

Wait, what M&M is it? What's your M&M of choice, crispy? Peanut Eminem's. Peanut is your favorite. Yeah. Peanut. Yeah. Wait, Rankum.

Peanut, crispy and then anything else. Mini? Oh. Because I think Minnie's a sleeper to like. And why is it Mini in the mix pack? It's a different universe. I think mini, yeah, exactly. The time streams have not yet entangled.

Dr. Doom will have his way, though. Well, yeah. Are you excited for Robert Danny Jr. to be back as Dr. Doom? No. Oh, that's weird. What did you think she was going to say? Oh, you never know.

I am excited, though, for that film. Yeah. I think it's going to be really good. Do you think Halliberry is going to be in it or not? I can't wait for that. It's going to be crazy. I don't want Because you hate black women

No No Well then why What other reason She's bad at acting Excuse me She's catwoman as weird Yes

She can have it Yeah no that film I mean that film is gonna flop I anticipate Eat It's gonna be so interesting I mean like listen It's the time is done

It's over it's over bitch but can it be over when there's not a replacement there is a replacement what's the next big thing in cinema I mean like the do bros of the world obsession I'm fear

but also like prestige horror is the new I think prestige horror has a place but like maybe it's also just like video game adaptation yeah the new Zelda film but also it's like

about that we just I just think, yeah, it's our generation. It's like no one has ever been situated. Like at such a weird time of like, we grew up when like, yeah, there wasn't as much of this kind of like, regurgitation. Everything gets a thing. And like, the weird thing about everything getting a thing is that like, through, like a minute after they come out, no one will ever talk about it again.

Yeah. But we spend six months to a year of our lives discussing and agonizing over like the details of like, did you see how they depicted this thing? Oh, I saw the all this like onset release thing of this and it looked so bad and da-da-da-da. And it's like how do we find the energy and convince ourselves to care about this shit again when you know you don't ever think about the golden compass? after it fucking comes out. I think about Nicole Kidman abusing that monkey all the time. And you know that.

And it's just like, mortal instruments is the name of the fucking other one. Yes. But like how do we find the energy when it doesn't matter? Who gives a shit? It doesn't fucking matter. And you will never think about it again. You spend more time worrying about whether it's going to be good

when I can already tell you the fucking answer. And it's like maybe the first time Maybe the first time we had this big first adaptation Where we're like I hope they Like you know with Harry Potter or whatever the fuck Your first experience of like How will they shepherd this thing onto screen And then every time after

We just need to be okay With it being just terrible It's gonna be like Can let me tell you something about the Romeo and Michelle second film Didn't you see her crying yesterday? It was the first day on set. It's going to be bad. She was crying.

It's going to be fucking bad. With happiness. It's like we waited fucking 25 years for the Bill and Ted third movie. Do you think Bill and Ted 3 was good? No, it was fine. It just exists. Who gives us shit? It's bad.

Why are we, we can't waste any more energy. We can't waste our lives thinking about whether the fucking adaptation of the Zelda game is going to be good. It's going to be fucking awful. It's going to be trash. the actor is in the new season of Game of Thrones of the Dragon and he hasn't had any lines yet but I'm really worried

because I don't like how he looks See this is the thing who gets it And I don't like how he looks in the New Zealand It's also going to be more Twilight Princess inspired I just know it And that's a flop To bring it back

I just think I don't like Twilight Princess Our generation needs the message Guess what You're gonna die Nothing is ever going to take you back To your childhood lounge room It's over

I'm sorry I like the carriage bit where you're running through Hyrule field and you've got the carriage and you're

being pursued that was fun the rest of that game is fucking trash and it's so ugly and yes Kanti Bidna is Gunti

but she's only in it at the end and then we have annoying Bindar for the rest of the game also the Twilight Realm is ugly and boring couldn't agree more

couldn't agree more yeah I think that that Matt you have children I don't like that giraffe toy, Sophie. Sophie little giraffe. I don't like that. Sorry? Sophie led a giraffe. Who's that? Why can't she stand up? I don't know what the fuck you guys are doing. It falls over.

No, there's many different types of sophies. But like that queen one is like a flattened version, but it's a 3D toy. Why can't it stand up? Matt, why? There are two toys. There's two toy versions. There's little fluffy toy versions. I'm sorry. But that this thing is haunted. I hate it. I actually hate it. Why do her eyes look like that? Sorry, there is a giraffe toy. So it's a French toy?

It's been going since like the 60s or something. And it's for teething? Yeah, it's just like a little chew toy in the shape of a giraffe. But she's got these giant round black eyes. Yeah, I hate it. She's got demon eyes. Real. Like, like.

Like there's no light in them. No. They're just pits. Yeah. And also famously, giraffes have fabulous eyelashes, better than Elizabeth Taylor. Sophie, none. I kind of am getting into this look, though. Now!

Look at how evil that fucking giraffe is. They are really scary to look into it. What do you mean? I hate it. I really... How did you encounter Sophie Le Giraff? I think... In a back alley sometime.

Matt, what the fuck are you saying? That's really... Sophie did not flop it out in the back alley. Thank you. I meant, I didn't mean anything sexual by that. Oh. I meant that she. What else that alley was for?

Yeah. In your soul in the dark. Oh. Like she's the slender man. Yeah. See, this is where, this is why Kergin thinks that everything I say sexual because you interpret things the wrong way. Yeah, it's our fault.

It's your fault. You know what? You're still responsible to the interpretation of your actions. Oh, shut. Yeah. Your mind goes the wrong way She has a sister as well I'm wrong

There's something wrong with the way My Lviticus again She has a sister too Called Fan Fan Fan La Forne Wait Fisne La Fawn Fawn Fawn Fawn Fawn Hey I see that

She's in a pink Plus suit Sorry her sister Yeah Fan Fan Fawn La Fawn Well dears I mean I don't know Their family structure

Yeah you're like Why is it a deer though It could have been an okope At least that would be in the same species Anyway Sophie's definitely not a flop She's been going since the 60s. Yeah. Everyone loves Sophie, except for you, obviously.

Well, I mean, I kind of appreciate how haunted she is. No. She's seen things. I mean, the inside of a lot of baby's mouths. Oh, they're another one. Elfia the camel. Elfia the camel. So many family members I didn't even know about.

Couldn't they just be friends? Are they related? Yeah, well, they're made by the same people, so related, I guess. Oh, my gosh. Okay Okay Why would it be a camel and not an okopee Make it make sense

Okay No one knows what that is An okopee? Yeah I mean I know what it is But I mean saying like it's not It's not as famous as camel Another safe option

Okopee is a flop Ocabee is not a flop That's like saying a Gariel is a flop Do you remember cheesy might That was a flop when Vegemite tried to make a new product And everyone was like Is that still available?

Wait, cheese fused with Vegemite Yeah, it's like a liquid cheesy Vegemite Oh, ew! Yeah, you could have saved them a lot of money New shapes when they tried to do a new shapes And everyone was like, fuck you. I would love to be on like, I would love my job to be like,

come in for the day and we're going to pitch you all the ideas And based on your reaction, your initial reaction Will greenlit or cancel the project Yeah, I think I'll be good. Yeah. Give me some concepts and I'll green light or pencil. Okay, that's good. Okay.

How about this? It's a mirror that has a brush on the other side. Ew. Absolutely not. Okay, why is that? Well, I can't see myself in the mirror when I'm using the brush. Well, yeah, but you don't often brush your hair in the mirror, do you? Yes.

Okay, I'm sorry, this is actually not the point. You need to have the way. How about matcha flavored? Um, matcha flavored crisps. Umami. I think that's a thing. Yeah. Okay.

Um, how about this? One of my students the other day suggested edemamo bean smoothies. No. No, absolutely. None of that. No. Because, sorry what? Like, she, she loves edamame beans so much that she wanted to have a smoothie.

We all love edamame beans. And we all love smoothies. Yeah, it could be good. Combining the two is not it. Because where the, the bowl for my discarded skins. That's part of the Edomama experience. You're not wrong.

Okay, how about this? It's a nighttime cafe. Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Where we sell coffee. Yeah. What else is on the menu?

Toasties. Yes, that's good. Nighttime. Is there like lamps? Maybe, some soft lighting. Okay. Maybe, okay, how about this? No light cafe.

No light. I really, I love that. No. at work and the lights are off. You can still see you, but it's like calm. Yeah. I love that. I love that. I do like that. It's scary though. Artificial light is just so intense. It's ruining our lives. Intent. It's ruining our lives. When the lights are off, it's like, oh, I can just breathe for a... Maybe light is the biggest flop. Light. Light. Whose idea is that? Yeah. God. And like, we already have enough of it.

Famously for half the day. So much of it. Some place is... Do we have in the bunker again? We do have an oil lamp. Yeah, for scrooging around. My friend Hayden, hi, Hayden, is overseas at the moment, and the days are so long.

He sends me pictures of him in the forest, but it's like 9 o'clock at night. Unless when you said that message, you meant it was 9 a.m. I interpreted that as long, long daylight hours. Probably should have clarified that. It was so long there. He's in Oslo.

Does that have weird things? Oh, who knows? do in Osloids. Perfect. It would be very, they have like three hours of night during the summer. It's so cool. Crazy.

I'm jealous. No, I'm sorry. There's no way that you could get me to live in Norway. There's Norway. Right. Do you know how, like, okay, so it is so expensive to live in Norway. Oh. So expensive.

Just obscenely expensive. and alcohol is taxed so heavily because they had a huge, huge alcohol addiction issue because the levels of depression there are so high because there is no vitamin D going into these people's bloodstreams and they live in the tundra. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

I. Good place to visit for a holiday. Unless you want to drink. Which I'm not. I'm too hung over. About, like, people who live in places that have, like, atrocious conditions. Like, the quality of life, like, not in a, like, class or, like, like, a geographical sense. It's like, you're choosing to live in Alaska in somewhere that has snowed 10 months of the year.

And the hardships involved in that. Like why? Yeah. Like why? Pick a struggle. Like, because you could move somewhere with four seasons. Well, do you know what? That's probably what people think about us living in Melbourne.

Yes. Because we live in Australia. We could live on the beach. Yeah. It's quite hard for some people to move though. Yeah. Well, yeah. Yeah.

But, like, Zelda made the point that this is separate to an economic constraint. But like there are places. Wasn't someone telling us about, were you telling me? Maybe. About. someone who's like family lived like up upper mountain in Queensland or in like and like it takes like two hours to get up there and it's all with like chains on the wheels and yeah da da da da da da I didn't tell you about this but yeah that sounds like

and it's like but then when you get there it's like beautiful but that's just that's such a struggle yeah and you could just move to like I don't know a small apartment in like Preston I can see why you would choose not to do that. There's been like a crazy cold snap this week. It's like misty all the time. It's misty. She's the gym leader of the fucking water one. All right.

Because it's misty. But the just Melbourne's commitment to never having homes that are built to survive. to survive the cold Is fucking, I want to, who do I sue? I know. Who do I sue for this? Yeah.

Fuck. Too late. They're probably dead. They've definitely dead. No. Died of fucking hypothermia. It's just so shit. Well, should we put in the insulation of Melbourne as the biggest flop?

Oh, honey. Yeah. Also, just quickly on the flop-it-out thing. Oh. Like flopping it out. Is that sexy? like flopping out of flaccid dick. Okay, I personally think that that is extremely sexy.

Like flopping out flaccid dick. Yeah. In a sexual environment? Yeah. Well, certainly that means that you've not like stirred their nethers. Yeah, but then you can like get it going. Yeah, but then you're doing the manual labor versus like... You don't like feeling like a dick grow in your mouth?

I mean, listen, I love that. But I'm like, is it not like also just like a little bit of a little bit of a, like, oh. Yeah, but you could flop out a semi. Flop out of, you can't flop out a like, you can't flop out

an erect dick. Yeah. It's not flopping. What's that called? Yeah. Or unless there's some sort of like, it's like pinging out. Yeah.

Like unless there's like nerve damage or something. Or it's like being gorged by one of those suction machines. And so it's like even when it's hard, it still has a layer of flop to it. Yes. Oh, I hate that. So much. Have you all had like,

one-on-one experience with that kind of um, dick, fallas yes, yeah, one that's been pumped. Yes. And it's just, it's like, it's like big, but fleshy. Yeah. Oh, awful. Yeah. Awful. Like genuine, so awful.

Like a pool noodle. And like when, yeah, but like if you try to get fucked by a pool noodle, it would like, like, it's not. I can't believe you didn't ask me. But it's like not, it's not dense enough to like, to push into the hole. It's like the real dick and the inside is pushing in

and then the flesh is kind of mounding up around the entrance. It's like, and then you have to use your fingers to push in. It's like, yeah. Ew! Yeah.

Ew. Yeah. It's just like not it. And for what? The size. But if the size isn't dense, then it doesn't feel like a huge dick. It feels like you're being fucked by Plato.

Yeah. Which, I mean, honestly, would love to be. He's such a smart man that Plato. You know, I'll show you my analogy of the cave. It's my ass. Those shadows on the wall. That's your dick. We're putting in some insulation.

No, they don't lack. We're taking out the insulation. Yeah. I'm giving everyone. the Melbourne winter experience. Ew. Because it's quite a flop. Ew.

Yeah. Why is my house so cold? I know. Why? Yeah. Okay. And just quickly. My heater, it's fucking incredible when it's on.

Yeah. As soon as it's off, then. Well, it's not magic. Oh. No. But like, your house is meant to store the heat that has been generated. Yeah. But instead, it immediately goes out throughout windows that are essentially just cling film.

Yes. And Matt, you don't get to speak on the subject because you live in a new build that's well insulated. I personally put the insulation in the walls of my house. Because I was like, we need this. We definitely do. Yeah.

And I stuffed extra in all the cracks. In all the cracks. I stuffed those holes. See, Matt. This is the kind of inappropriate bullshit. that we have to put up with. How dare you? I've just had it.

Okay. We'll be right back. Without Matt. Hello. Hello, everyone. Matt, are you on your best behavior? Good. Okay.

What? What's happened? Matt? Oh, you've upset him. Matt? You upset Matt. I'm here. It's all right.

Ah. Okay, here we are. It's the final countdown. It's the final countdown. How are we feeling? I'm feeling good. It's time for us to discuss. And we've given a few hints through the episode. Let's know. So those of you've been paying attention. You won't be surprised to know that we're talking about. Which particulate?

A particulate. Listen, this was inspired by it's been really misty. And do you know what? I felt like, wow. Mist is so beautiful. It's so entrancing. And it's so crispy, cool, but I'm not getting wet. It's just misty. And I grew up in a very misty, foggy area of the world.

Because up in the hills, on a misty night driving home, it's so scary on those winding mountain roads. Illuminated by the headlights. Yeah, you can't really have your headlights all the way on because they just catch the mist right in front of the car. so you have to kind of, you know, see how you go. Mist is definitely one. Yeah. Smoke.

Yucky. My daughter's been calling it Froggy at the moment. Froggy? Yeah, it's very froggy outside. What, hang on, what's being combined there? Foggy. Foggy. But what?

She just thinks it's called froggy. That's quite cute. Well, cute until you realize Matt's been forcing her to say these weird pronunciation. words. This weather phenomena is I've been correcting every time. Dog tooth.

No, see it. No. Ro! Get it right. Get it right. Yeah. She says, it's just froggy.

Shut out. You're never going to get into a good school with that kind of talking. No. Spaceship. And so, yeah, smoke.

Yeah. Weird. I went on a bit of a binge recently of I survived. Have you ever watched those clips of like people? It used to be, did I talk about this already? I already have, haven't I? Fuck, this is so embarrassing. I survived like the information channel or whatever.

And it's like people on a black backdrop and they're like, I'm Linda and I survived. And then she's like, I was out fishing with my friend. and then we capsized. We spent three days in the water. The sharks arrived. They bit off Linda's head. Like, blah, blah, blah. And then she's like, like, just how the whole,

whatever the harrowing thing that they survived is. And then, like, at the end of the 15-minute story or whatever, they go, I survived because I never gave up and my family loved me or whatever. But I've been listening. And they're all, like, some of them are like, you know, really intense, like, people who are, like, kidnapped and sometimes it's people who are like kidnapped and raped and sometimes it's people

who are like have set themselves on fire or sometimes it's people that have been caught in machinery or lost at sea or lost in the woods or attacked by a bear um but they're they're so good but there was one which is we survived being in a chemical cloud and there was there was a train that derailed I mean that's scary yes and this chemical came out and made a noxious chemical cloud Which chemical?

Chemical Chemical cloud went over this whole area Yeah Right And these people are trapped inside the cloud And they're like Calling 911 They're old people

This is a movie as well They're in the chemical cloud We're trapped in the cloud Yes. Right? And they were like, what do we do? What type of chemical ma'am? Literally.

Isn't this a Jim Jarmouche movie? I feel like it's something like that. Honey, it's I survived. Did you listen? No, no, no. It's an actual movie. We're trapped in the chemical cloud. And so they're trapped in the chemical cloud and they don't know where to go.

And the 911 operators always suck. Bitch, I would have such a hard time. If I was like in a chemical cloud and like they were like, and are you okay ma'am and i'm like sorry can we just stop can you put some joy in there like it's just a bad day for you or am i in the chemical cloud because i just feel like you're making this worse with your attitude because like it's this like weird detached feeling well they it is a film it was adam driver it's called white noise no that's a different thing That's got a chemical cloud in it.

It does, but that's more of like a magic realism. It's Noah Baumbach. It's good. I did like that. Trapped in a toxic gas cloud for six hours. Okay, listen to these people. I love it. Oh, my God.

I'm going in anyway, and the deputy says, if you do, we'll arrest you. Arrest all you want to. I'm going in, and he said, we'll shoot you. He just gave up. This is the vibe. They always have this, like, this is more production than I was expecting. I would sound asleep in my own bed, and all of a sudden I woke up choking. I couldn't catch my breath.

And it took me just a few seconds to realize that the air was contaminated. I recognized the smell as chlorine, as strong as I had ever smelled in my life. Chlorine was the chemical. That's his wife's name. I realized it was chlorine. Anyway, just to give you... Who's in charge? They don't even know who's in charge.

Do men still sound like that? No. I... That's a shame. They're dying. One of our sons, who was a volunteer farmer in another county. It's so rude. Well, a city farmer in his space suit.

Can you get to the bit where he says I survived? I'm sorry. Thanks to God that I had my husband with me. And if it wasn't for him, I don't think any else would be here. I survived because I was too angry to die. Hey. My loved ones die off and there's nothing I can do. This is sad because it's real life.

I love this delivery. The delivery is right. And they don't do any reenactments. That's the best part. It's just like straight to camera. Painting the picture with a few sound cues. And like, yeah, them being like, I survived. I knew immediately we were caught inside of a toxic gas cloud.

It was chlorine, unlike anything I'd ever smelt before. I also, so the woman on the 911 in that story, she's like, get in the shower, take a shower. Right Good advice Sorry And the woman Relax me After a toxic cloud

No they're still in the cloud They're trapped in the cloud Well she's like Yeah we gotta start decampaminating you And then as soon as she Combines water With the chlorine in the air It starts to give her chemical burns

On her skin And it makes everything What And makes every They have to run out of the house Because once the steam Hits the gas cloud It turns even

more poisonous. The shower has betrayed us all. I'm like, I'm not listening to this. It was raining. Literally. Oh. I survived. Yeah.

But there's a really funny I survived where a guy gets abducted, kidnapped. He's like a U.S. attorney, like, whatever, assistant. And he tells this story. And like the start of the story has literally nothing to do with him getting abducted. He's just like, I was catching the subway home, and I met a nice woman, and we started chatting, and it was so nice.

And we were, you know, talking. We went, you know, we got off the subway, and we decided we were going to walk home together, so I was going to walk her home. But then I decided to stop in at one of these bodegas because I wanted to get, you know, one of my favorite types of cookie. And I went in, and they didn't have the cookie that I like. So we went out, and we went a bit further and went to a different place. And I got the cookie that I like

And well she got a different type of cookie that she prefers And then she's like drop her off And it felt like a really nice night in Manhattan And then I got abducted And it's like Honey, start the story there Sorry, that's how you tell a story It does sound like a story

That's how to set the scene and the stakes for a story And the cookies never mentioned again The woman, nothing to do with it Nothing to do with it? He was abducted after that experience. It has everything to do with it. Abducted after every one of his experiences. Yeah, and I'd love to hear more.

But yeah, that was like, I was like, your I survived was not as dramatic as being in a gas cloud. What's the difference between being abducted and being kidnapped? One's more mask. Yeah. I'm not a kid. And I would like a nap. What about, okay, here's a particulate that gives me such an...

and ick. Ew, flop particulate. Yeah. We're trying to keep listeners. They're going to switch off. Are you quite pleased with that one? Sorry. Is oil.

Oil cooking. Oh, floating. That is so disgusting. When you finally clean your kitchen after like five years and you're like, wait, the walls are covered in a thick layer of oil from every meal that I've cooked. Yeah. The tiniest particular. that slowly attaching themselves to every service over time. Yeah, gross.

Disgusting. Gross. I hate that. I hate it. And what's the answer? Never cook? We're extraction fan. Oh.

Do you cook with the fan on? But our fan is broken. I actually don't have a fan because I have a witch's hub. Isn't that an extractor? Well, there's no mechanic. It's just a big hole to the outside world. Jesus. Sorry.

Is that a hole? Yeah. Sometimes black ooze comes from it. I'm not joking. I'm actually not joking. One day I was looking at the top of the oven part and there were these dots of ooze. I was like, what the, like, have I spilled like soy sauce here and it's like coagulated or something? No, it's like ooze from the witch's hole.

It's so evil. Is it just open or is there a grate over it? I've never dared to look up. Ew. It's so scary. It's so scary. You can't live like this. I know.

What if someone's up there? They could be. Ew! It's so not it. What if someone crawled up their years ago and got stuck? They could be. And their body is just there decomposing. Yes.

But you can't smell it because you have such beautiful candles in your house. Like, that could be the reality I'm living in right now. It's so scary. Better not to know, actually. Yeah, I actually want to get like, hire a cleaner for like. For the ooze. Yes. Your ooze shoot.

But like, can you do a deep cleaner the kids? kitchen, but not really say anything else other than that. And then when they get her, it'd be like, yeah, that's the witch's shoot. I don't know what's up there, but if you could give that a wipe down, that'd be fab. If you looked up there and you saw something looking down at you. Oh, no. I can't. Or like the body of a small German boy. Yeah. That's a bad particulate. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, that oil. That's more gross. Yeah. The ooze is probably oil particulates that have condensated and then are starting to drip back down.

Yes. Yes. But like hundreds of years of slow-moving tar. Yeah. It's a tar. It's a tar-esque substance. Oh, it's not it. Well, we'll talk about that when we get to.

What slow-moving substance. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. What slime? What slime? Oh, my God. Which thick liquid gets into the bunker.

It's sort of thick wood? Thickwood. Do you know that you can't actually, like, die and be absorbed fully by quicksand? That is only in cinema that that happens. Yeah, right. You can't go all the way down. No. You can do it in a bog.

I'm talking about quicksand. Well, the bogs are kind of, you know. There's still a lot of, yeah. There's still a lot of scenes with people falling into bogs and getting swallowed. People die in the Irish bugs. Irish bog? Yeah. I'm saying all.

Well, you know, there's a. incredible bogs. They probably have like deep holes of water mixed with with hard, mud areas. It's peat moss. Peat moss that's all layers and layers of wet. It's never been dry. Yeah.

It's just been wet forever. And like you can just sink down. And sometimes you can sink down in such a way that you just vanish. And if no one's there to see you, you're not getting out. No. Because there's nothing you're going to grab onto. Do you think anyone famous is down there?

Well, there's famously, the bog man they found like a really pristine well preserved Pete Moss man whose skin was still he was mummified by the bog because there's no oxygen

yeah or something yeah so he was mummified and in pristine condition and it's actually being like can I just say in there I'll say the bog I think there's a couple that's good you know it's like it's like like such a stupid video.

And there's like 10,000 different versions. But that like footage from like an early 2000s documentary of like, we tell us stories that we can laugh too. We reconstructed the vocal cords of this mummy that we, you know, and then, and this is what it sounds like when you blow through it. And then it's like, oh yeah. I've got a good sense of humour, Zelda. You really...

You really laugh at some piebrow stuff. This is I'm going to fuck for my phone. Nazeldar, I've just seen you a picture of the bug, bug man. I'm denying you the joy here, Matt. I can't look at my phone because of my eyes are filled with tears. It just loves that, loves that. What do I even type in to find this? Oh my God, no, I'm just, I'm trying to put something in the chat.

Mommy? No, I'm putting it in the chat. Recreation. Sorry. Oh, Pete Bogman is really cool. Yeah, isn't he? Wait, how am I going to fight one? His skin looks like a beetle.

Yeah, so Bogman, he looks like a statue, really. Yeah, it looks like a metal statue. Yeah, it looks like a metal statue. Yeah, yeah, he's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D printer. It allowed them to produce a single sound. That's why your mama did. Okay, that one's not so funny. What's this one?

Scientists were able to mimic Nessi Amun's voice by recreating his mouth and vocal cords with a 3D print. It allowed them to produce a single sound. What? What are they selling? That one wasn't funny at all. Well, it sounds like you need to do your homework, Zelda. Get prepared next time. When you want to set up a joke like that?

Fuck, these ones are terrible. This is exactly what it's like to hang out with a gay man. Wait, let me find it. Let me find it. Let me find the toxic gas plan. Allowed them to produce a single sound. That one. That's okay.

Wait, what's this one? No, no more. Come on. Wait, she's cooking here. She might be able to, you get it. That one's pretty good. Okay, okay, I'm done. Jesus.

But you know the one I'm thinking of? I sent you a picture of that fucking mummified fog man. Jesus Christ. Can we put that vocal chord thing into the bunker, please? As a particulate? No. Just as a bonus. We're talking about particulars.

Matt, put that in the tracker. We're putting in the... I'm not sure about it yet. We can't encourage this behavior. We're putting in the mummy's vocal chord recreation 3D prep. No. Do you know what particular? Right?

Bogman. Bogman. He kind of looks like... You can see the wrinkles on his face. Yeah. It kind of looks like one of those statues on the corner of Burke Street and Swanson Street. Do you like living statues, Zelda? He's got a really flat ass.

No, I don't. I hate them. preserve his ass. I hate it. We're going to come back to this because we need to do a ranking of what street performer. Yeah. Okay, we'll pin that for next week's episode because that is like truly compelling stuff.

Yeah. And I just know that all of them are going to infuriate. I just can't imagine any one of them not being like, oh, God, you're just so needy for attention. Yeah, we'll do that next week. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So particular, the other thing is being someone who came of age during like 2005,

there is like an era of particulate, which is those like colored flares that were in every music video. And I need you to imagine that there's like a gal in the desert holding one of those flares running. And she's wearing like Native American headdress. And she's like, tonight Whoe Yeah Wait, what's the particular?

You know, those flares, those colored flares Oh, I thought you meant the pants she was wearing. Sorry. Fuck me! I thought you meant, yeah, no. The flares. Got it. Oh, flares, I get it.

Okay. It's like, what, is it? Like, the pants falling apart or something? No. Got it. Yeah. Um, oh. Does that freak you out when you see them in real life?

Do you remember when Theresa May was on All-Stars or whatever? Yeah. It was maybe UK versus the world. And she came out with one of those coloured flares, and it was purple, and she'd put it, she was being like a witch. And they were in the drag race studio, and she, like, had the flare going, the smoke flare. Yes. And the whole room clearly just filled with fucking... purple smoke and it becomes so much that you can't even see anyone.

I like that. Teresa May, my pussy on a neck of a page. It's so good. I love her. Yeah. I love her. Although she had a gap filled.

Oh. And Teresa, I want you to know, go back, bitch. Yeah. Who told her to do that? Wait, what do you fill it with? They, like, use, like, a, like, you know, what they use for fillings and stuff.

What? And just, like, build more teeth. Yeah. Because, like, her gap was probably, like, like, just one big two. Two millimeters. And so they just needed to, like, add, like, a little millimeter on either side. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so they just grafted on.

Like, she could have it reverse, but I was just, like, you know, dating someone from the gap to the community. Yeah, yeah. It's just, you know, another. What if you got all your gaps filled? Another angel has fallen. Well, I really do want to have it even now on my front teeth. Just like every, just a big one monotooth. You really want a monotew.

Is this what I'm hearing? Yeah. It's just, I just picturing it. Is this some sort of fetish? Has anyone ever done that? I'm on a choose. Yeah.

I guess it would just look like you're having a mouth card. Like a really chic, can I? Is it? I've never understood the technology of a mouth guard. I've never worn one. My brother had one because he played sport. But like, so what?

You like, like, what form is it in when you first buy it? It's just like putty? No. And then you like melt it with the kettle water and then you put it in, your mouth and like smash it together and then it holds the shape. No.

Then what is it? So it's a main. Because that's what I've spent the last 38 years thinking. Well, I don't want to ruin this. No, go for it. Okay, so like it is the shape of the general mouth guard. So like that part comes in sizes and it is shaped like your mouth, like a mouth. Yeah.

And then you imagine the inside of that is bigger than any possible human tooth. And then you have this like, yeah, this like heat. sensitive plastic that you make like a little wormy woo of and put in the crevas and you've heated it up with water and then you push it up into your teeth

until it is set around your teeth and then it can be pulled out but yeah the shell is like standardised and then the inside is the sculpted part and why is it it's always the top yeah I don't think they do do of

yeah I think they just focus on top. Okay. I want to get one. I found all my fake teeth that I got before going on drag race. And I was like, it's over for you, bitches. I love silly fake teeth! Yeah.

I'm getting back into my fake teeth era. That's so fun. I like my vampire fangs, but that's about it from my teeth experience. Well, that's because you're not experimenting. Can I say? You're limiting yourself. self. You need to get some fake teeth on bitch. All right. Get some nubbins.

Nubbins, yeah. Those nubbins, like, I had so many fake teeth that I brought to drag race. Thinking I'm like, I'm going to bust out new fake teeth every episode. I only end up using two and I didn't use the nubbins, which is like kind of a blessing because now I have something for all winners. Yes. All nubbins, all the time. Curgeon has been getting more.

and more into his pub footy life. And he was like, I'm going to get a mouth card. And he was in the shop. And for some reason, someone was like, get gold. Gold. Get gold. What, like a metallic gold. Yeah.

Oh, no. He did. He did. No. He was influenced. And he got gold. And now he's like, when he wears them, he's like, I should have just gotten white. Because when people look at me, it looks like I've got a full mouth of rotten teeth.

That could be good. Throw off the enemy. Yeah, I'd get nubbins. Imagine pub footy but with old nubby. Wait, what shop do you go to to get a mouthguard? Honey, we live in one of the great sports cultures of the fucking world. You can go anywhere for a fucking mouthguard. What?

Throw a stone in this town. I'll show you somewhere to get a mouthguard. We sell them here at the studio. Yeah. Should we start a fight club? We should. We could sell mouthguards. merch.

No, in my mind, you get it from the pharmacy. Is that true? Maybe. Who knows? Who are you asking? You? What particulate? Steve.

Spittal? I don't mean that. No, that's not small enough. A fine mist of spit? Yeah. A sneeze mist. A sneeze mist. Oh, traveling 10,000 kilometers every time you sneeze.

COVID. Yeah. That's the particulate. No. Steam. What do you think of steam? Steam? Okay.

That's quite chic. I love steam. I love a hot shower. I love a long, long shower. A long hot shower. And what? Steam just feels like a great portrayer, however. Because that steam on the walls, oh, well, you're going to turn into mold.

And I don't appreciate that. Love doing you was steam. And I love a human environment for all my houseplants. But it can't tip the scale to mould. Mold is crazy. I think places that never get dried. That's crazy. Yeah.

Like the bog. It'd be quite funny if the bunker never really got dry. I mean, I think. There's rain every couple minutes in the bunker. Yeah. Yeah. But in between rain, it's just steaming. Yeah.

Because the crown's really hot. It's just lava everywhere. I do love it when it's... Lava? Lava. Well, there could be. Could be. It depends on where the bunker is

if it's located near a volcano. Listen, guys, that's not for us to decide right now. We have a very important thing. Which particulate? I think steam, that's good. Steam or mist. Yeah, maybe just a cold. Creepy mist.

Or asbestos flakes floating through the air. Ooh, that freaks me out. I think about it all the time. Particulates. Famous particulates. Spores. We're out spores Spores.

Spores are cute. Yeah, but what about when you breathe them in and they grow out of your lungs? Yeah. The real issue is that we're so weak. Weird little, like, yeah, lungs are just like, ugh. What about, like, ashes in the air? Embers.

Embers. Ooh. Fire is so crazy. I don't think it is. It doesn't have a physical form. Fire. Yeah. Fire!

Fire! Lava. Little bits of glass muffin. Hmm. Okay, great. Lock it in. So which? I said lock it in.

Some sort of steamy fog. Mist. Water is the particular we're putting in. Yeah. In all those situations, it's water. Well, I love it. It's just so verse. You know?

Water it is. Water. Wait, you know that I've been joking for about two. years about wanting to do which shape of water gets into the bunker and you have inadvertently done it. Amazing. Perfect. Okay. Well, the shape of water is tiny.

Misty. Misty. Foggy. Foggy. Okay. All right. What a great episode. And so this week, we've put in.

Yes. I'm not in. We've got Lindsay Lohan playing Elizabeth Taylor with mutant eyelashes. The biggest flop is the Melbourne housing insulation system. And the particulate is a steamy mist. Sounds good. And? No, that's it.

Okay, this has been great up. And the 3D print of that sarcophagus going. We'll discuss this later. Okay, just everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Stozyg and if you've got something to say to us send it to us at Death to Everyone part at gmail.com.

And won't you scream at us at speakpipe.com slash death to everyone and support us on Patreon at patreon.com. That's up to everyone. Bye bye. Bye. Subangall.