Death To Everyone - Death To... Pasta, Queer Eye & Bodily Fluids

Episode Date: March 12, 2024

Listener! Join us this week as we discuss pasta shapes, the hosts from Queer Eye & of course, bodily fluids. Ever watched Queer Eye while eating pasta and being absolutely covered in cum? We thought so. Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello out there A sulangyor to you all Sulangyor And a balegde Oh man

I'm sorry we missed balegde day and we didn't even note it's passing What? Yes There's an actual balegde Annual Balegde Day And we didn't even note it's passing What? Yes There's an actual Balegde Annual Balegde Did you not see the parade? It's held in Jamaica right? Well of course

It's part of their rich natural National cultural heritage Balegde So this show Zaldab moon what is this show about what is death to everyone about death to everyone well as the name suggests it's time that everyone dies finally um but when such a sad sad thing happens happens, we don't want everything to die. So Lazy and I will curate a bunker full of intricately woven law of incredible artifacts of humanity.

Yes. Some being objects, some being people, some being concepts um and they'll be preserved for the next generation that's right they'll in fact be the gods of the next generation if you will correct um no that's fabulous and before we get into that oh lord now full disclosure this week listener zelda moon was partying heartly at madigra and probably inhaling a bunch of asbestos tan bark and so now has a terrible terrible cough we will do our best to edit this cough out of the entire production of the show but if you do hear it well don't forget to send some angry messages her way. Because her lifestyle is finally catching up with her.

Or some well wishes. No, the unfortunate thing is, and I don't know why we didn't talk about this last week. Probably because I wasn't sick yet when we recorded. But I had just got him back from Mardi Gras. And I was fine. It wasn't until the day after that I indeed had influenza. Suddenly when she needed to get back to work, she was suddenly still okay.

Influenza type A, as the test told me, whatever the fuck that means. I'm an influenza type B. As in being real is the most important thing you can be on that. Oh, my God. But the unfair thing is... Sorry, Zelda, just a second. Matt, what's happening with the lighting in this room?

Oh, sorry. I already said in the intro. I haven't set their requirement of mood light. I should have checked the rider. Matt, why am I seeing myself? Just so you know, listeners, the queens, they want just a dark red light. A blood red. Like we're in that club from Blade

And I have smart lights so I can change the lighting from my phone So I just set the mood at the start of every episode It's very good Yeah, it is like you're trying to seduce us Well, that's why we're here, isn't it? It's a very long form Anyway I'll get there one day

Yes, but I So I went to Mardi Gras in Sydney It's a very long form seduction. Anyway. You get there one day. Yes. So I went to Mardi Gras in Sydney and was there for two nights, three days. However, I didn't go out any of the nights. I just did the parade because I went with work, which was like an incredible experience. And that's like... Zelda, of course, is the treasurer for dags on bags okay and it was yeah it was amazing to see that side of i don't know mardi gras and whatever because i have gone to mardi gras and i've gone to the parade before i think i've actually gone to

watch the parade three times over the past 15 years. Yeah. And we have gone and performed at Mardi Gras events before. And I've gone up and done heaps gay and all sorts of different things. But always as a performer at a party, not like part of the parade. So like the ordeal of the day is so intense. And it's like you go to the pre-parade fenced off zone the holding area and you're there and you can't leave you can't leave you have to be there we hours yeah we started like we had a big rehearsal at a studio at like 2 30 in the

afternoon oh this is the thing i hate what are we Well, Mama, we had a whole dance that we were doing down there. I want to die. Yeah. Anytime anyone mentions doing a dance to you, you're like, I must end myself. I just, I think I'm like, well, because I'm like, you know at that point, once you've got a bunch of like bedraggled, like misc employees together,

we're not going to be seeing fucking Swan Lake out there. It's going to be like, well, we're going to point to the left and then we're going to shimmy, shimmy, shimmy, and then we're going to point to the right. So it's like, at that point, what's the point of dancing? Yes. However, so this was very much my opinion before such a thing. Before the car race.

But I was also like like i still want to do it once like i have to know and see all sides of my culture you know so we go and we have this like rehearsal and then we go to the holding area and we're there for like five hours before we go out because we had to be in we were in at like 4 30 and we was there water did you have water there was and there's like food vans in there and stuff although we lined up for like 40 minutes because there's just so many people in there yeah and it's like its own mini festival in there as well because like everyone in there is obviously excited to be going out and we got the quantus people you've got the robo death there You've got the Robodeath people.

There was these like queens for cosplay. And there was this really good Masato Katsuragi. Was that the PlayStation one? No. Because PlayStation did a thing this year. Oh my God, how did I? And they had a bunch of cosplayers. Well, no.

At least they certainly didn't look... That level of polish. Absolutely not. Although if you've been playing final fantasy 7 rebirth the look of polish these days isn't what it used to be um just another topic we'll discuss um but there should be a video game where you're at a cosplay convention and they just have all the characters they're super smash style but like in shitty costume versions yeah and you run around you have to defeat like shitty costume there was that game that everyone was doing that like um

that sonic character um like ugandan knuckles or whatever what was that game called anyway it doesn't matter um anyway so i'm in the holding area and we're there for hours because we go out at 9.30. Did you say Ugandan knuckles? Yeah. It was this whole thing. Knuckles from Uganda? Like, I don't know.

I think that's what it was called. So we're in the holding area, go out at 9.30. Then you finally go out. The walk is 1.7K, which is fine um and it's also like i wasn't in drag i took drag but i was like if we're going out at 9 30 and i don't have access because you also can't have a bag or anything because you have to there might be a bomb well yeah terrorist yeah but also like there's no like you what you you can't be holding something while you're in that fucking parade. How are you going to point and turn?

So everything that you can fit in your bum bag is it from like 2 o'clock for us. So if I did drag, the face that I painted by 1.30 is the face I was walking in the parade in at 9.30, to which I said, I'll be going out in a boy's face. So I didn't do drag, which was the best decision I made because I was like, can I have a fun day or a hellish day? And imagine doing that walk in heels. Yeah. It's just too much.

There was one person who did drag, but they just did a beat. Yeah. Like, and yeah. A wig? Go off. but they just did a beat. Yeah. Like, and yeah. A wig? Go off. A wig. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Then we did the parade and we did our dance and it was actually quite fun. Well, tell me about the dance. Well. Dance pointing forward. Pretty much. There's some interesting things about choreography that works while

you're standing still yeah and choreography that doesn't work um when you are constantly walking if not running forward to keep up with the float because there were points in our dance choreography which for some reason had us like doing a step to the side and back and and like standing still with your hands on your hips it's like's like, we can't stop moving. Cause then we were, we were like running to catch up. Right. So that was interesting.

But the whole vibe is really electric and it was really fun. And it was quite sweet. Like being in that holding area, watching all the other stupid groups doing their pathetic dances. And you're like, Oh, we're all doing the same thing. Why? I i don't know but it's kind of endearing and yeah it was fab i like but then i got fucking influenza and i didn't even party i just went home after yeah but it was still

probably from the city link toll road float. Probably. Those guys are sick. There's something, because I was in the holding area shooting content for Amy, when Amy went with Broken Heel, back in my old life in advertising. And being in that space, I just was like, I actually, sometimes in big crowds a like fight or flight switch just goes off in my brain and i'm like i i don't know where the exit

is and i need to leave like i need to go immediately i can't be around this many people yeah because the crush and the like it's just like when you feel completely boxed in like i think that's part of why like the few sporting matches i've been to it's just like when you feel completely boxed in like i think that's part of why like the few sporting matches i've been to it's just too overwhelming like that they're just the like when you're in like a line to get out an exit and it's like slowly moving and all you have to do is just slowly like you know flow through but you're like why is this taking so long like there's actually no option to leave right now and so i got into that holding section and um was like i actually have to go i'm sorry i've got to go i can't be here um but yeah fuck what a time but i imagine once it starts moving

it gets a bit better yeah the thought of like i it's why i don't go out on new year's eve anymore yeah because you're like while you're there and you want to be there great amazing but you can't just leave no like yeah when you know that it's going to take a few hours to leave i'm like that and you just have to be like super patient but at the same time that the environment is so high energy that you're like everything your body is like telling you like now now now okay we're going now everything's happening now but then you have to be like oh i'm gonna take my time and we're gonna leave when we leave and you will be home later tonight but it might take four hours because that night that we

did perform on new year's at arbury in the city, it was like we got out. And normally in drag, you can kind of make a stealth getaway. And just once you're out on the street, you're out of the gig and you're done. And then you can kind of just be like, okay, taxi or whatever and get out. But when we got out onto the street, none of the trains were running. There was no taxis because it's New Year's and it's like just turned New Year's. So everything's a zillion dollars and gone. And so we had to like walk with so many other people like three blocks through the city to try and find somewhere where the trains were still running.

And it was so overwhelming because everyone's drunk, super loud groups of guys. And you're in like not even pretty drag like you're in like i've just worked a full shift i've taken off my shoes like everything is so it's kind of like that there's no longer a separation between you and and anyone that wants to come up and interact with you yeah yeah yeah it was gross not fun yeah but yeah how was your week darling i had a great week it was a little bit quiet but i've like slowly been like piecing i don't know like you know like that that start of the year stuff where it's like now we're in the thick of things but i've slowly been like being like chipping away at the little projects that i wanted to do around the house i've been like

reorganizing the shed, which is nice because I keep having this thing where I'm like, where the fuck is the paint sprayer or whatever? Like how, you know, I need to spray the paint. What am I meant to do? So I have to like go and like hunt for ages. So things are a little bit more organized now. But yes, but this heat is not helping sweet Jackal.

Mama. Because my house continues to be just not insulated at all. If there is a temperature outside, this is the temperature inside. If there is a sound outside, if there is anything. We are just living in a tent, essentially. A brick tent. But there's also no AC. So it's like, I don't know, my fifth summer in that house.

And every year we get to this point, we're like, oh, it's all good. We're going to survive. And then this time happens. Yeah. Ugh, not good. But so my previous apartment was very well insulated because it was something of a bunker and just maintained a low temperature for many days

into hot temperature outside. And then similarly in the winter, maintained warmth if you kept it relative, like it was just not too bad. But yeah, the new place is much, much, much more airy. So it's a bit more similar to that experience that you've described. But I do have... AC. I do have an AC, which I've only used twice because it's very loud.

And, you know, it's not very restful is it yes well now you know my pain living in a drafty house with weatherboards and rats in the walls yes yeah what in the walls rats oh my god i didn't tell you this what so i had my first house inspection oh my god um oh wow that was just 50 000 rats wearing a polyester suit we're very interested in the walls show us the walls again um and the real estate agent was lovely whatever rat lady like went through showed her all the things were like annoying or wrong and she was like oh shit yeah yeah her seething face of rats turning to you saying and she said i can turn one of the sections of the lawn into veggie patch and she said squeak squeak squeak which was very

exciting she said as long as you make grain yeah could you plant lots of grain j grain and warm places for us to tough with our babies. Are you going to have a compost pile? We'd like 10 compost piles. I mean, the real estate agent that we are. Oh, my God. And then I also said how I removed the screen of the security camera thing. Oh, yeah. Because I was like, that really freaked me out.

And she was like, yeah, that would have freaked me out too. The previous renters installed it. And I was like, so that's not an issue. And she's like, no, take it down, whatever. So that was good. Did she explain why they'd installed it? No. The security cameras?

And I said, paranoid. And she laughed. So she might know something about the murders. And then in the final moments, I was like, oh, my God, and there's possums living in the walls. And she looked at me like, possums? And I was like, yeah, in here, because there's like the trees right outside and like I can't see any like wee marks on the ceiling or whatever,

but like there's. Wee marks on the ceiling? Yeah. You know when there's like, well, that's because they're possums, not because they're rats. Because when you have rats in the house, there's the little stains of piss in the roof, you know? No. Piss stains coming in the roof, you know? No.

Oh. Piss stains coming through the roof? Yeah. They don't piss somewhere. They don't have a toilet. Do they have acid piss? Well, no, but if you pissed on the wall, it would stain it as well. I beg to differ.

I have the hard evidence, gentlemen. Oh, my God. Anyway, and she was like, yeah, right, okay, well, we'll work on that too. So anyway, dear listener, rest assured, my possum conundrum is under works. You never had a possum conundrum. Lazy, will you tell us how the world ends? The world ends. This is how the world ends.

Sickening. Sickening, no? I think, okay, so my pitch for the end of the world this week is, I'd like, in honor of asbestos mulchgate, which I find to be fantastic. Can you say more? Did you not hear about this? No.

Oh, my God. So, like, Sydney Town Council had put out New mulch that was then tested And found to have asbestos In it And so they almost had to cancel Mardi Gras because they just spread Just tons and tons Of asbestos mulch throughout

The whole city And had to rope off areas and be like Don't touch, might have asbestos in it Incredible We sat under a tree in bark In Hyde Park and like had to rope off areas and be like don't touch might have asbestos in it incredible god we sat under a tree in bark in Hyde Park

this is what the cops are I've got asbestos asbestosis asbestosis and do you know what it is it's the asbestos the little pieces

like the little invisible almost like just like tiny little particles are like little razors. In my lungs. And they go into your lungs, but you wouldn't have the effects yet. Yeah, well, you don't know my life. And they go into your lungs and they make little cuts

and they can never leave your lungs because the body doesn't absorb them or anything. And they just make little cuts and float around and make little cuts and they can never leave your lungs because the body doesn't absorb them or anything and they just make little cuts and float around and make little cuts and over time those little cuts turn into scar tissue in your lungs and so your capacity to breathe goes down and down and down and down and yeah the same thing happens with the silica when you cut bench tops which is why they've now made that illegal in australia so i like i think a town council trying to do something like mundane and then poisoning everyone is really fascinating so i think that the town councils of the world decide that they're going to remulch everything so they

bring out you know because of the there's been a rash of scraped knees. It's a global epidemic. People falling over and scraping their knee. So then town councils across the world unify in action, probably led by a giant mulching corporation. And they say, we're going to mulch everything. So that people- A new brand of mulch. Yeah, exactly. And so we can like, and just because mulch is like, you know, we're not having roads, we're having mulch.

We're not having footpaths, we have mulch. You don't have home, you have mulch. Helicopters now have to land on mulch. There's no longer the sea, there's mulch. And all the children now will be named mulch because we will never again know the bleeding of a knee because scrape knees are not happening on mulch. Splinters, however.

Well, you know, this is quite a good mulch. But. Trust us. You can trust us. You can trust the mulch. And so they bring out the big trucks and start unloading the mulch. And people, week by week, are watching them just slowly mulch the whole world. You know, the wetlands are being mulched

and the Amazon rainforest is being mulched. And we were like, I don't know when we signed off on this. And then the local town councils are being like, well, we did have a meeting three months ago where we talked about the mulching, but you didn't raise any concerns at that time, so we moved forward with the mulching plan. And then people are like i guess i mean i suppose people and then the people and then yeah it's people think it might have gone too far when they're sitting

watching the tv in their home and a man comes in and says we've got your bags of mulch here and then that night as they're sleeping in their mulch pile, watching all their furniture being turned into mulch, they think, I wish I'd gone to that meeting three months ago, but I didn't even know that the town council, I didn't know that there was a council election. They moved it up. Yeah, well, exactly. How was I meant to know?

And so then everything is mulch. And then at the very last minute they say, by the way, the mulch has asbestos in it. Uh-oh. And at that point, there's no other substances in the world. Everything's been mulched in a giant mulching machine. So they can't go back. So now everyone just has to wait for the asbestos to set in.

And they say, hmm. And also that point is now illegal to say any other word than mulch. So as they're dying of asbestosis, the doctors can't even really diagnose it or give proper course of action because they can only say, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch, mulch. And the hospital is just mulch. So it is... They're trying to use a stethoscope, but it's just a big piece of bark. I'm sorry, madam.

I would help you, but everything is mulch now. Everything is mulch and asbestos. And the ambulance you rode here in was just a pile of mulch. So, yeah, mulch and asbestos. And then that's it. But we, then like you hear that, and then you see the open hole to the bunker set up by two celestial drag queens who are not mulch.

No, that's right. And we preserve. There's no mulch inside. That's it. We have a little sign that says, no mulch. No mulch. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, that's quite fantastic. Yes. Thank you, sister. Yes. Okay. And with that, now that we know how the world ends, let's begin the process of figuring out what is going in the bunker this week. Shall we take a quick break?

Let's take a break. Okay. Mulch, mulch. Hello and welcome back. Welcome back, listener. Okay, let's dive straight into the thicker things. This is a dearest listener suggested topic. Thank you. We listen too.

Sometimes. Which pasta shape goes into the bunker? Now, never has, perhaps never, has a topic been so close to my heart. That's true. You do like pasta. Yeah, I'd say. It's on a lot of your Grindr profiles. Is it?

I don't know. I think you always say like, fucking and love pasta. That sounds about right. Yeah, I'd say at this point, most of my body has been made from whatever nutrition can be found in pasta. Yeah. Scary. Oh, it's quite windy at the recording studio today and it's windy or haunted the celestial void is a bit windy today it is um okay so pasta types now uh are we including like pillows

yes okay so that's also like pastas filling Yeah Is cannoli, not cannoli Yeah Cannelloni We're doing Cannelloni Cannelloni, we're doing lasagna Oh, lasagna? Yeah

Is still pasta Yeah, because like lasagna sheet is like a pasta shape But are we like thinking about lasagna sheet on its own? What do you mean? Well, because when I think about like, there's the bowl pasta You know, I'm thinking bow ties, I'm thinking spaghetti, I'm thinking risone. Fagioli. What do you call me?

And then lasagna. I'm never just having a heaping bowl of lasagna sheets. No. But like, you're obviously using the pasta in the dish. Okay. That thing is, you know. Okay. So.

Yeah. I don't know. I think there's a few things I need to get out of the way. Uh-huh. I think that, you know that thinner type of spaghetti? Angel hair. Angel hair. That's's disgusting i don't like that it's so evil no like ew why are you so thin yeah and also i'm like when they're like

when you see all the different names like the classic italian names and like this one is here i'm like there is perhaps an over capitalization on the like you can only get this type of pasta from this specific region in italy yeah and i'm like listen to me like luciano that is barely different to the one that comes from the next town over like i don't know that you really innovated on pasta here with your, like, slightly thinner version of spaghetti. Like, you're not fooling anyone. No. You basically just stole their homework and were like,

what if thinner? Gross. Grow up. Yeah. Idiot. Fool. But, like, that's the thing. I'm like, love the whole tradition, love the story.

And some of them are different bow tie revelation I do keep saying bow tie because what a fabulous thing oh my god it's little bow ties yeah that's great the little like roller thing that gives the little

crinkle cut edge that's cute those little stars like roller thing that gives the little crinkle cut edge. That's cute. That's quite good. Those little stars. Stars. They're like, I don't know. All the ones that are like little shapes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's gross. I went through a phase of, is it aracheli? It's like a little wheel shape. Yeah, I hate that shit. I went through a phase of like, I'll never eat a different pasta shape again oh wow because it really captures the sauce in a great way but then i got over it and i was like i'll actually never eat it again yeah and when you get that off board that shape on your fork and you're like oh well it's scooped on that fork

so easily yeah well you know what it's gonna fly off just as easily. It's not. Sitting on the couch. They should make a utensil that's the shape of the negative space of the oral jelly. So that it perfectly sits in that shape. Then I could consider eating it. Do you like spaghetti or fettuccine fettuccine is cooler spaghetti's like the og so i'm not going to disrespect her but i think it's like pretty over capitalized at this point i think like like we've seen too much of spaghetti but but that green fettuccine. Oh, the one with the, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's very chic. Yeah. Like it's flat. It's got like more of the surface area. It takes to a fork better. It's good. I love when, you know, when you cook out like a whole bag of fettuccine and maybe two. I am familiar, yeah.

Maybe like two strands fuse together in the pot. You get an extra thick one. They're not very well cooked, but they're cooked enough to eat. I love that. I love. It's like a little dense, like, oof. Yeah. I hate, hate.

You can get like spaghetti, but like jumbo baby that's hollow on the inside. No. It's so gross. It's like eating an esophagus. Yeah. That is like, that is wrong. That is evil. I hate that.

And I think then, yeah, risone. I know I talked about it. I don't think risone is good. I had one risone meal recently where she was like, I'm making risone for dinner. I was like, what? And then it was really delicious. But I'm like, this is such a weird choice. And then coming away from the meal, my boyfriend turned to me and said,

oh, we need to get some risone and do this. And I was like, I just don't think we do. We need to break up. do this and i was like i just don't think we do we need a breakup yeah i'm like like i just think like rice has got this covered a slightly bigger rice is not a thing do you know who is like so inconsistent in the pasta universe gnocchi gnocchi i want gnocchi to be the best gnocchi like gnocchi is simultaneously the best pasta experience I've ever had And the fucking worst Like it is so When it's tough and chewy and disgusting

It ruins your night It does But when it's pillowy and it melts And it's just delicious It's the best night of your life What do you make of when you go to a fancy place And they're like I have some pasta And they bring out like three gnocchi on a plate.

I want to kill myself. Like what? Like that is how, oh my God, that's how we should have had the way to die in the bunker. It's like fucking faux. Someone serves you three bow ties and like a butter sauce with sage and then they're like, you're done. Yeah, that'd be 27

dollars yeah and then you smash the plate over your head and you stab your esophagus with the I just don't that's how you die I'm like if you're is it are you are you struggling to make the pasta do you know what I mean like if you're hand making this pasta and you get lazy and you're like oh three will do then maybe don't make it. Yeah. Maybe pasta isn't for you. Yeah. Because like no Italian nonna is like looking at that bowl being like, that's not enough to feed my grandchildren.

It's like, it's just, it's the strain just because like when you think of, you know, like a Pavo uni student, it's two minute noodles and pasta. Yeah. Right. Or like, I don't know. I say that, but also any adult, I presume that's also what they eat. We're all doing the same. But it's like, it's an inexpensive meal.

It can still be beautiful and you can make it like lavish, but at its base, it's not, even if you're making homemade pasta, It's not, even if you're making homemade pasta, like it's not labor intensive with expensive ingredients. You mean, yeah. Time perhaps. But time is expensive. Well, yeah. So it's like to go from the cheapest home meal to what is like,

you can't go to a cheap italian restaurant out they don't exist yeah they're all like mid to like upper tier price points and it's often disappointing and a small amount of pasta yeah i just i think it's like you need to trust me to decide when i'm not hungry yes like you can't just be like this will fill you up but i'm like i don't think you understand his three parcels enjoy i'm hungry dare ask for more fatty like oh and why did that waitress say that she spoke only in riddles um oh boggles the mind well yeah yes yes okay so that's what about um i used to work with this fabulous girl antigone and making things up and one day someone who worked kind of like under us

revealed that she thought that antigone's name was Rigatoni and just with full confidence asked like, hey, Rigatoni, where's the blah, blah, blah, blah? And then forever we called Antigone Rigatoni, which is, well, I thought it was quite funny. But what do you think of Rigatoni? Which one's Rigatoni? Rigatoni is like the big cylinder. Oh, like penne?

Yeah, but like more round, no slanted edge. There's no slanted edge. Yes, yes, yes. It's like a tube. It's like a pipe. Yeah, I think that blunt end. It's triggering. Well, I just think it's like, it's not very inspiring.

It's not very dynamic. Sometimes it's good to know when things start and end, though. It is. But the ending is what? Just the shape. Cut. Yeah. Just a cylinder.

Like a ribbed cylinder. Yes. Nice, but Penne is doing that and more. Penne is like, oh and more penne is like oh i'm like i look like a like a needle that like you know you've zoomed in on a needle yeah but that's i don't want to be i don't want my throat cut by a needle but that it's also got a tapered edge so you can kind of you know what i mean yeah where's that flat round circle i imagine like, I imagine what if one day you had a rigatoni and you swallowed it and it perfectly adhered itself

to the sides of your throat? Yeah, then I'd have pasta throat. Oh, there she goes. Oh, pasta throat. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't that freak you out?

No, it doesn't freak me out. Did you ever I presume when you were younger Like hold a noodle Of pasta or like Like noodle noodle And swallow it But you're still hot in the end and then you pull it back out

I did do that Yeah that's cool Do you know those people that can pull it through their nose? Oh I don't like that And then they floss their brain Oh I don't like that And then they floss their brain Oh I don't like that Meanwhile you're fucking developing an eating disorder Imagine if that was like

I just hold things, dangle them down my throat And then pull them back out again Not vomit, just pull them out I don't understand where the hole to your nose and throat is No And I don't think we can know i don't think anyone knows it's impossible no and i think that's like that hole became so famous only for our generation because of guinness world record yes like shooting corn out of your

eye holes yeah and then like pulling things through your nose hole yeah but like this generation just doesn't know about that yeah and maybe maybe they don't have it and why is it that only graded carrot finds its way in there oh god disgusting awful um so for me i think yeah i'm Like trying to, like I think gnocchi would be the one if gnocchi wasn't done badly so often. So I think because it's inconsistent, I'm going to have to knock her out. But for a more stable experience, I'm going to have to say, also lasagna. Yeah. Veget also lasagna yeah vegetable lasagna i think my issue

with lasagna is that like you seldom use the whole box you never have enough or yes i'm like what am i doing with two lasagna sheets sitting in my fucking pantry for the next 10 months yeah yeah like when am i using this quite It's quite annoying. It makes me so mad. That's like, what is this? Like, why haven't we figured out a standardized lasagna sheet tray ratio? I don't know. Yeah.

Anyway, I think fettuccine or penne would be the two that I think are the most iconic. Fettuccine or penne. I just don't really fuck with penne that much we we did miss tortellini tortellini yes you don't like that no i like that you don't like that i liked it um yeah i mean ravioli is often what did you go on on. It's often filled with meat. Yeah.

Ravioli is good. What about agnolotti? Which one's that? Like ravioli but not with meat. And in the crescent moon shape. Oh, I like the crescent moon. Yeah. I mean, to me, I'm kind of discounting those ones because they

are not really playing fair like i think every pasta that has something inside of it would be great but it's like are you great or is the thing inside inside you're great yeah maybe we rule those out well i think that that's why i'm ruling them out because i'm like yeah i guess spinach and ricotta is delicious but was that your idea agnolotti or whatever the fuck yeah yeah yeah no no you're just the shell yeah and you're doing a good job but well but also are they the cooking is so specific then they burst or they're too soft or they're not cooked enough yeah Yeah. It's like you have to be so on it. It's gnocchi 2.0. Yes.

Gnocchi with things inside, that's too much. Macaroni? Oh, my people. Yeah. America. I think macaroni suffers from the expectation. It's like when you've had really good cheesy mac or seen it in a movie it's like it's so hard to ever reach those highs that like

yeah it just always feels like you're falling short with macaroni yeah but fettuccine is just so reliable fettuccine is very good and then yeah i love shells you do cook with shells a lot i they because they again they capture sauce really well they how do you yeah i don't know it's just like it's kind of a delightful shape although shells that are overcooked disgusting it's like it's it's all over yeah awful um i don't even know now that i think about how are they getting that shape oh mama like some well-paid engineer figured that one out many moons ago and to them i say thank you but oh I don't know like I love shells if you want to be a shell girl

then you better fucking put like I don't want to hear wishy washy about the shells let it be the shells or not the shells I'm Natalie Imbruglia Torn between shells and fettuccine because you think that I made a good enough case for fettuccine.

Because you think that I made a good enough case for fettuccine? We didn't really say that much about it. I think it's flat, it has the surface area, and it takes well to a thing. It's got good colour and life. Oh, colour. See, I keep forgetting about the colour version. Yeah. That feels very, like, I don't know. I just think that that flatness is, like,

it is the only one that is improved upon spaghetti by being like, I'm flat now. Well, no, when I do think about fettuccine as in like, and my mum has made it for you, the like avocado fettuccine, like that dish is my like favorite pasta dish. So delicious. And that is the one we're growing up sometimes to come together, to become one.

And it's just like that is my pasta love right there. It sounds crazy, but this avocado sauce is really delicious. It's really good. Some lemon, avocado. I don't know what else mom did. She gave me the recipe. Yeah. Well, I'm happy to go.

Listen, I like the inventiveness of shells. And I like the utility of fettuccine. And I think in a Tarnbach apocalypse, both would meet the moment. Perhaps people would miss seeing ocean life. Wow. And want a reminder of

what they looked like before everything was turned into Tarnbach. Matt? Yeah, I like shells. Oh, well, listen. Let this be a tiebreaker moment. Matt, why do I like shells. Oh, well, listen, let this be a tiebreaker moment. Shells. Matt, why do you like shells? Tell me!

Mum makes really good shells. Oh, you've got a mum. Yep. How nice. She, sorry. She does, she puts the stuff inside the shell, so she puts like. Wait, she's doing it by hand? Yeah.

shell so she puts like wait she's doing it by hand yeah so she puts like ricotta and spinach inside a shell and then puts it into a bake with like um red sauce all around and cheese on top like mozzarella on top and basil and whatever and then bakes it in the oven for about i don't know how long but they they like cook and tell us how long matt well i don't know i can't give you how long 25 30 minutes? It's a family secret recipe How big is the shell? Is it 220 fan forced or what? The shells are quite big

They're like Big as a baby's hand Have you ever had that before? No I've had that I'm just like Would I call that a shell? It's kind of like a cannelloni But like

In shells Like a conch Yeah Conch You can hear the ocean in it Yeah And she's doing all this work for you It's like a conch. Yeah. Conch. You can hear the ocean in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she's doing all this work for you.

Yeah, yeah. She used to do it like for dinner, you know, every couple of weeks or something. And then now she still makes it and brings it over in a big tray and gives it to us, which is nice. Yum. I've tried to make a few times, but I'm not as good at it. Well, you keep at it. So I like the shells like that, but I mean, they're nice in a bowl too.

Sounds like you like the shells and femme labor. Sounds like you like the shells and misogyny that forces your mother into the kitchen to hand-place spinach and ricotta? No, it's just comforting having a nice meal that you used to have when you were younger, you know? It's not like I've... Mom! Yeah, I'm like, I'm not demanding shells. I'm just, she just does it on her own accord.

What's the good thing about the patriarch is that it's silent. You don't have to demand. It's expected. I don't know. I think it's just a mother's care Duty, isn't it? She does it out of her own care for me And also just worried that I'm not eating enough

Yeah, she was socialised Oh my god Speaking of that, I guess When my brother went to uni Mum used to do his laundry. That's so weird. For years. Yeah, I never got, yeah.

That's too far. That's very. They didn't do that for me. Well, yeah. Sorry, anyone who's listening who gets that happening still. That's not okay. How long do you think your brother spent? Because I assume now he doesn't do his laundry.

True. So how many years do you think your brother had to do laundry for oh my god like do you think he went straight from your mother doing his laundry to his wife now doing his laundry no his first girlfriend definitely wouldn't have and i think by the time he got that, he would have started to do it at the same time because he would have been embarrassed by that exchange being witnessed by the girlfriend. Good. So shame really just helped him get over the line. Which probably meant he had about four years of laundry time in him.

And now he's just never going to have to do laundry again. I'd say so, yeah. Incredible. Yeah. What do you think he does with that extra time um i mean honestly he works yeah yeah what can you be saying about that shells shells shells um well i'm i'm i feel like i've reconvinced myself back to um fettuccine now now with a childhood memory yes well matt why are you

pushing so hard for shell because i like the stuff inside i like a bit of extra yeah but that's a very specific dish and i don't know that i was talking about conch shells talking about like like the tiny shells yeah well and then i was imagining your mother sitting there fiddling with tiny, like, fiddling with tiny, like, Monopoly house-sized shells. And I'm, like, spending all night just stuffing them. You're like, I hope that they like this. Filling them with a sugar spoon. I don't like it, Mom. Take a shell and get out of my life.

I think I'm fully back on Fettuccine. Fettuccine is a second for me. I think that's a good one. Wow. Everyone's really come along. Okay, great. Listen, it's Fettuccine. To the people that had to listen to this conversation,

what are you doing with your life? What is actively wrong with you? This is a podcast you listen to. And you were like engaged listening to this conversation. And you were like, I don't agree with that while we were saying things and i just want to say like you're unwell yeah but also you know that one listener who was like oh my god mention aracheli yeah oh they didn't talk about yeah like oh no nuts what about homemade pasta like it yourself. I think that's the stupidest thing I've ever fucking heard. I'm like, yeah.

Like. Yeah, I made it one time and, like, I had to, like, we made, like, spaghetti or whatever. Or maybe it was fettuccine. Yeah, it was actually fettuccine. And, you know, you roll it through the thing. Yeah. And then you cut it into strips.

And then you've just got all these strips of, like, wet, like, pasta. Sitting on chairs we had to hang it on the clothes rack yeah and then it like dries there kind of and then like they're stuck in and then you put it in the pot and it all just kind of disintegrates it's like yeah it's a bit of a process i'm just gonna fucking leave it to the people who do it it's fine i don't need to do this. I've also found every time I've made pasta at home, it tastes more like an Asian noodle rather than pasta. Even though that's not the recipe I follow.

You're a proud Japanese character. Oh, my God. With soy sauce and everything. Jesus. But homemade gnocchi have a very good recipe for gnocchi, and they make good gnocchi at home. I found that every time I've made gnocchi, it's been a bit chewy. Oh, no. Okay, well. I'll make you gnocchi. Make me gnocchi. i make good gnocchi at home i found that every time i've made gnocchi it's been a bit chewy oh no okay well i'll make you gnocchi make me gnocchi okay well and that all to say listener fettuccine i think we're giving fettuccine to the bunker uncooked fettuccine

enjoy you know who's gonna love it it? That Italian girl, Lady Gaga. Oh, my God. Yeah. Stephanie. She's an Italian. Eat up. Okay. And we'll be vibing.

Bye, lady. Bye. Welcome back, listener. It's now time for our second topic for the bunker. After a riveting conversation about which pasta shape will go into the bunker, as requested by one of our fans, it's now time to dive in. And this one is quite pertinent.

Well, it won't be by the time you listen to this, but a recent Rolling Stone article outed the inner dynamics of the um girl group queer eye yes and jvn's a monster and jvn um the they them of the group turned out to be evil yes as queer people often do yeah that's true and um now I have the question. Which queer eye is going into the bunker? And we will include the originals, whichever one we can remember, because if you think that I can remember old Cookie McGee from season one, you've got another thing going. Okay, season one.

So there's Carson, obviously. The JVN of season one, of series one. There was... Jay? Jay. Who's like, lifestyle? Clothes. Yeah.

No, lifestyle. Yeah. Then... I love it in the original, like, Queer Eye. The Queer Eye guys are walking along in this kind of white illustrated void. And it goes, you came into my life and my world never looked so bright, yeah. And then they're like walking along Gay Street and then they turn a corner and they go down Straight Street.

Straight Street. And I'm like, excellent, good. It's very good. Fucking stupid. So stupid. I think people really needed things spelled out for them. Like, oh, they came from Gay Street, but now they've moved into the Newtown. Straight.

And I also remember in that show, because they were in New York a lot of the time. I think most of the time. New York. All the apartments were super, super tiny. And so they have to film Carson pressed up against a wall, being lit from a camera in some straight man's walk-up, one-room studio apartment. And I remember that show felt very cramped.

Well, that's what life be like on Straight Street, I guess. I do. It's a hard night in Straight Street. So in OG. like on straight street i guess i do it's a hard night in straight street so in in that song shouldn't hit as hard as it is it's really good but the fucking remake is so bad it's so oh it suck all the fucking soul out of it and put the Netflix logo behind it. Anyway. So Jay Carson,

Ted. Oh, Ted is. Ted is whatever. Tom and Kyan. Kyan was the hot one with the long hair, right? Or at least the long hair.

I do not remember Kyan. Is he that one? He's that one. Yeah, he's hot. I've never seen that person before. Well, anyway. And then in the new one, we have evil Christian. Bobby.

Bobby Burke. He's Christian? Yeah, well, he was the one that was like white bread, like Oklahoma boy got kicked out of home by his Christian family who didn't understand why he was gay. Whereas I knew he was gay. I just didn't understand why he was boring. That's why I kicked him out of my home. Yeah.

And then Karamo, who's from the real life, who is a monster. The real life? I'm sorry. The real world. Real world. The real world? I'm sorry, the real world. Real world. The real world that show. One of the first reality TV shows was called The Real World, but then there was The Real World Chicago, The Real World Italy,

and Karamo was on one of those tendrils of the real world. Ew. And I think that's when their eyes turned into little laser beams focused on success at any cost, despite the fact that there was nothing happening inside. Well, no, he put on success at any cost. Yeah. Despite the fact that there was nothing happening inside. Well, no, he put on nail polish. Ah. Yeah.

And then there was Antony. Yes. Who's like the James Dean. Mm-hmm. Who's had that permanent smile cut into his mouth. Yeah. Yeah. Love that.

And then there's Tan France. Tan France. Who is the English Girl She loves fashion She likes fashion And then there's JVN

JVN Another devil Devil And they were all cast randomly Just like Did a lot of chemistry reads Finding gays Because in the original they found

like i think carson auditioned but had literally just been like working in like one of those boutique like fashion stores on like i don't know sixth avenue or whatever yeah whatever uh fifth avenue um but like yeah and just had a natural flair and personality And then obviously like Carson basically was The early noughties For some reason Oh my god Carson mania, it would be so intense I think only like RuPaul would kind of understand

The intensity of that experience of being like That specific niche famous For like two seconds Yes Where like there's two years where you are the biggest thing in the world. And like every gay joke is about you. Everyone is talking about you. They all think you're fascinating and interesting and fabulous.

And then it like kind of immediately people are like, wait, no, don't worry about it. And then they're like. But that kind of happened. And then she came back on Drag Race kind of after this lull of maybe like five or ten years yeah and then kind of had a resurgence this has and has completely re-established themselves at you know something of a pinnacle of wherever gay celebs yeah get to you know like you can't get too much higher darling but um yeah it's kind of remarkable

that she kind of did it twice yeah i think that is like the rupal thing of being like okay come on like i remember you yeah let's get you in yeah um and at the time i was like oh really but now i'm like no that it really fits and i think carson is someone who genuinely seems interesting and like actually has a soul yeah yeah um which is weird um can't relate speaking of people who don't have souls i hate karama yeah i think karama is like the one that freaks me out the most i just remember listening to the interview on keep it which is another podcast um i know there are more than this one but where um like karama was being interviewed and he was just like came off as such a fucking insincere prick yeah and it was just like

yeah i don't i don't know. Oof. I don't like. Don't like that one. Yeah. He just seems like the most, like, LA, like, I would like to be famous now, please, thank you. Very that. And I will say anything and do anything to be there. Yeah.

And in the current gen, like, gen two of Queer Eye, yeah, I think, like, the five of them rather the four at least masquerade genuine concern and empathy relatively well except for him yeah every scene with him he's like either with the the makeover person or with the group yeah it's just so fake yeah every single time oh and the way that he yeah like then like being like i know that you know your house burnt down and your kids were still inside and they they died that's why we're going to do this flying fox today to learn how to trust again it's like wait what and then like karama straps them into the harness and it's like this is about learning it's just like that pop psych bullshit yes like do you know

what you can't do solve deep emotional traumas in a single day yeah like by doing a flying box like piss off and i know that that's not 100 him but it's like yeah but how like that is charlatan bullshit like you can you can fix someone's house a little bit but you can also give someone that's had a lot of trauma an incredible day or experience and a new incredible memory yeah and if like you've been put as the culture queen, whatever that is. And this is maybe more of a critique of the show than directly of Kramer, as you say, but do that. It doesn't, just like Drag Race, it's like it all doesn't need this fucking-

Pseudo- Yeah, mental health layer. Yeah. Anyway, i couldn't have picked a more perfect person to do that fucking fakery yeah because he'll just like say it without yeah because anyone with like i don't know uh um soul soul wouldn't say no yeah um so i guess well done yeah but let me tell you he's not going in the fucking bunker. Well, no, not unless we're sending him in there to like torture these people. Which is tempting. Although I think Gwyneth would like kill him.

Because she's like, I think she's much better at selling that fantasy of like. Absolutely. We're going to, yeah, fix your life. Yeah, yeah yeah yeah yeah it's a fifty thousand dollar candle yes um what do you think of tan i think tan is like the quiet stand out of the new cast yeah i'd agree um because like actually genuinely seems like to have a take yeah worldview seems kind of like interesting and nice yeah i don't know like that like because i think jvn is like a singular figure in the sense that they like make people really excited about them but they do have like and i'd known for a long time like that they were someone who'd like, struggled a lot with alcoholism and, like, had a really kind of rocky road with mental health

and all of that sort of stuff, which I think it's really funny now that, like, a classic queer community thing is, like, and then, like, the allegations against, you know, JVN and that they were, like, had super intense mood swings and blah, blah, blah, and we pretend like we haven't had all the information the whole time. And they're a monster. And it's like, well, I think that it's kind of more likely that you're dealing with someone who's really profoundly affected by things

like maybe a bipolar disorder or a BPD or is having a really intense experience of their own mental health and is liable to have like quite intense mood swings and while i don't endorse that like i don't think anyone should have to work in an environment where you're like working with someone who's that volatile but i think it's really like people are full of shit when they're like i can't believe that jvn would be like this. They pretended to be happy. And I'm like, no, they are someone that has intense highs and intense lows. And for you to do a whole show that's about how complicated the experience of life is and how trauma is, and then be like, I love you on that show. But you're not allowed to have interiority.

You're not allowed to be a malt like you know a few different things you know like it's yeah it sucks but it's like come on it's it's kind of the the thing of like the show like we were saying about karama right like the show is like in three days you can fix your entire fucking life yeah and be this new person and all of your issues are gone yeah like which obviously is not true yeah but that is what the show wants to present and then when the actual presenters can't be that at the same time because it's not achievable it's like the show is setting a standard that even the crew can't maintain. Yeah.

And then people are shocked. Yeah. It's like, well, you've set your own foe. Like, it's just a mess. Yeah. Like, don't tackle things that shouldn't be tackled in this way. And if anything, grow a culture and a conversation around long-term change. I don't know.

Yeah. And I think it's like turning gay people into soothsayers of culture and class. It's like weird. What? But it's funny because the 2000s version feels like it's built off this cliche that gay men are stylish, culturally connected, blah, blah, blah. And the new one does try and address some of that stuff. But it still comes back to this idea of what you're saying of maybe if you spent three grand on each of your problems, they would disappear. that is the problem of like late stage capitalism is that like we've created

like these problems of like, well, your space is not working for you. And like, that's why you're unhappy. And it's like, well, I think it's probably that this woman, you know, works as a nurse 50 hours a week and isn't paid enough to actually support herself and lives in a town where like, you know, whatever whatever the infrastructure is so bad that she doesn't see anyone you know it's like all like any of these issues that could be solved by like having i don't know the proper resources and the proper ability to address your problems over a long period of time they're like no you can actually just fix it really quickly and it's fine it's like yeah but um jvn in the first few seasons

when really like came to be quite a cultural phenomenon was the carson yeah yeah but also was um i feel much more engaged in the show and genuine i think season eight has just come out yes you haven't watched anything beyond season like three oh okay so i've watched pretty consistently just like as like trash background tv or whatever um not because i hold any particular passion for these people but um in this latest season it's really hit it's like they're just another karamo like it's so surface level and fake and everyone gets this same like you're amazing sweetie oh it's like you were just going through the motions it's like it's your job and that's fine like you don't have to create a genuine connection with every person,

I guess. But if the show is about you changing people's lives and for those people, it like for them, it's that experience, whether you're jaded and over it or not, it kind of like those, I keep trying to say contestants clients whatever like for them like it would be a life-changing experience and to know that some cunt doesn't care about you and is just doing it for a paycheck yeah it's like it is a bit learned to just refresh or cancel like yeah because like if the whole premise is this like you know

like genuine connection and and opening yourselves up to others will enhance your life that's a beautiful message but when it's filled with toxic fake people oh then it's all surface level and it's a lie. Yeah. I hate it. But I don't think tan is like that. Tan really, to me, seems very genuine and personable, but in a professional way.

I think you can do that in a professional way but still maintain boundaries. I think it's the issue of being the like zippy full flavor extreme one like jbn is it like the standard for you is that you have to be like everyone's favorite person all the time like and in a way that gay men okay people really suffer with which is like they they have their facade which is the jokey funness yeah which they've kind of developed as a response to making sure that like people like them yeah and so it's like a byproduct of your trauma and then when you become successful for that it's like now maintain that and continue to be everyone's favorite person all the time yeah and be perfect like be perfect and be this kind of like bastion saint of kindness

and it's like no one's kind all the time yeah no one's selfless all the time and anyone that tells you they are of like they're a liar like they're a charlatan like yeah it is just not how the human is set up and you need to be selfish sometimes and you need to be like you just are likely to have bad days yeah and doing eight years or nine years of like being a fucking golden child would kill anyone like it's too much yeah then bobby bobby burke I'm gonna say I think Bobby Burke Just Like Is so cringy Oh yeah

As a personality That you're like But I kind of am like I want to force him Into the bunker And get him to just keep remodeling Like the same Like drab

Straight man's apartment And they just like Keep resetting it every night And he has to keep remodeling like the same like drab straight man's apartment and they just like keep resetting it every night and he has to keep putting in the like shiplap fucking you know skirting around the walls and like you know changing out light fixtures and then they come back in the next day and it's like even more slovenly straight man in the apartment. And just to force it. And they're like quietly playing like, while a straight man just stares at him and sobs quietly. Do you think that would be nice? I can see that happening, yes.

Just, I mean, it's just not a lot. There's not a lot to kind of critique there, I don't think. In Bobby. Yeah. Like, I just think he seems like a genuine just human being. Yeah. And he also just happens to be like the runt of the litter, which I think is the hard position to be in.

Yeah. I think it's the charisma factor. Yeah. He just isn't like a star. He's just a regular person. Yeah. I think it's the charisma factor. Yeah. He just isn't like a star. He's just a regular person. Yeah. And he seems like nice or whatever. It's just like you're surrounded by people that are like on a TV show and you're like,

I'm going to put new chairs in. And they're like, great. Okay. Anthony. Which is like the curse of like being pretty and not having any talent. Oh, come on. I just feel like this child of God who was born genetically looking that way. And as a result, the world has treated him kinder than if he was looked a different way.

And as a result, he has this like completely over inflated sense of his abilities and really just shouldn't have the job that he has. But he does look like that. And no one could deny it. He does look like that. But even seeing him host things, you're like, you are not good at this. Yeah. You're not talented. You probably should just have like a very normal job right now.

But because you look like James Dean, like you can do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He does seem like, does he seem genuine? Well, you know those days when you have had a really relaxing day and maybe like, I don't know, say you went to a spa. Not that I have, but say you went to a spa. I've heard some people do that. And you got a massage and you got pampered all day

and someone brought you your favorite lunch and some gorgeous water with some sort of fruit floating in it. And then you came out and you're so at peace and bliss that all you can do is smile at people and say nice things to them because you feel incredible i think anthony is like having a spa day every day of his life because when he goes to check in at a hotel they're like do you want a free muffin and he's like oh yeah that'd be great just because they've seen this hot man yeah and then they're like hey can i like i don't know i'll give you a ride to where you need to go like you know it's like things have just been easy so it's like if he was mad or angry with people it wouldn't make

sense because people are so kind to him as a result i think like him getting successful was the first time he tasted the people being like wait wait, are you doing anything that requires anything of you? Well, I mean, this isn't a, I can't argue with the assessment. But I do think of, yeah, I do think of the current five. Tan is probably my favorite. Also is on that fashion show That I quite like Next in fashion

That was quite good So what does that mean? Does that mean we put in Tan? Because he's the best of the five I'm just thinking about what the bunker needs What does the bunker need? What does the next wave of humanity require? Tan France?

Tant France. Or JVN? Cutting people's hair? No. Yelling at people? I understand it's a TV show, but there's many things about the show being fake that I just really don't like.

Like the scenes with JVN, where he takes them to a hair salon and then they're like jvn's like doing a little trim but then they're having the conversation and like the actual hairdresser is doing the cut yeah yeah i'm like just don't do it yeah like she can just usher in the conversation yeah like anyway i do like it when jvn takes a product swishes it in their hands and then like scrunches it down a woman's hair that is like television gold but that's the theatrics of like taking a product swishing in your hands and scrunching it through someone's hair it's like this thing like the only thing that keeps like the hairdressing industry alive because it's the only thing that you feel like you can't do yourself can i tell you something this just reminded me going back to the mardi gras story so the week before i bought this new salt spray for my hair to try to make it a bit more curly and the first time I

used it was the day of Madagrass which at that time like right up until like the morning of I thought I was going to be doing drag so I hadn't considered my hair. And how salty it was. That's right but then I did a little spritz of my new salt spray for the very first time and did you scrunch it through sorry you scrunch it i did indeed scrunch it through um and then a few hours in i realized well this isn't the hair product for me i don't usually use hair product because i don't like how it feels too heavy on my hair um oh my god but it looked really greasy like i have very oily hair and it just like really quickly looked greasy then we went to this rehearsal for like two hours and then my hair just was like i had been in the shower like it was that oily for the rest of the

day and it was sydney so it was humid but and there was like a point where there was a bit of a shower but like every time i went up to someone or like had any kind of interaction i was like oh my god i got caught in the rain anyway blah blah blah because i looked you had to keep like calling it out i looked fucking crazy because like and you had come from gay street but your hair was on straight street see that's right yeah um and god damn it was such a mess it was so unfair well it sounds like you need a fag to come along and spritz you up yeah someone help me this is really good fabulous yeah um put bobby to work put the burke to work make them bunker bitch bunker bitches bobby bobby bunker bitch yeah Do you know what? Maybe Bobby Bunker Bitch should... What's his last name?

Burke. Bobby Bunker Burke Bitch. Yeah, that's good. Burke, little Bunker Burke Bitch. Because you know how he wants to leave the show? Yeah. He's already left the show. Yeah.

I think over the void, there should be a small... No, next to the void. Yeah. In the void room. Yeah. Void chamber. It's in the big room, to the void, in the void room, void chamber. It's in the big room, yeah. It's in the big room. There should be a section where it's like kind of a display suite of like a lounge. And then he, yeah, every morning starts making it over and he's given six hours to make it over.

and he's given six hours to make it over. Yeah. And then at the end, the display suite platform just kind of tilts and all his work just falls into the void. And Bobby's like, and they're like, sorry, Bobby, we didn't think that was going to happen. You came into my life. Tomorrow's another day. See you back at your calls five Everyone else was at six

But you're here at five Yeah, Anthony's got to make an avocado salad We need you to get back on that platform Oh my god, yeah, that's amazing I want it to be like Just like a one thing That just pushes everything in One propeller

And it's just after he's finished explaining Why One propeller. Yeah. Yeah. And it's just after he's finished explaining why it's really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we got this leather love seat that's really nice. We were able to keep your grandfather's quilt from the days in the army. Your favorite number is 60, so we've put these gorgeous little details on vinyl decals on the wall. And is he doing like a different room a day for everyone in the bunker? Yeah.

Like they just like give him like a little brief. Yeah. It's like Katie's looking for a lounge room. And like he gets, yeah, 20 minutes in the bait bus to do that opening monologue. It's him and the gremlin being like so today we're gonna go and see the room yeah okay let's get out and then they run to the thing and like the gremlin just like i don't know shit's come on the floor and then runs away and the gremlin like five years ago would have been so excited by the prospect of this opportunity yeah but is now so fucking methed out that is just

like yeah yeah yeah it's good yeah yeah so wait the bunker queer eye is gobble ghost the gremlin the gremlin on meth bobby burke the original returning member yeah yeah and then who which other games do we have well i mean i think for culture it could be the worm from the labyrinth yeah yeah judging from the scarf they're gay she's yeah from reggie's yeah yeah our first like um queer femme the worm from labyrinth yeah yeah and then maybe number five is just the plus and then the plus the mysterious plus yeah yeah yeah that sounds good yeah is billy lord queer oh you know she's a woman in la in her early 20s of course she is yeah she's plus

yeah um she is plus maybe she's in there or maybe it's Baby Slut Baby Slut So what if it's Or Vanity Oh true Should Vanity be one of the She just gives them a hard front Vanity And you're like You'll be right

There you go What is it? The Uberia? Yeah she gives Every contestant an Uberia Yeah With a fucking topper Yeah

Yeah okay So the Queer Eye of Down Down in the B Bunker, Bobby Berg, The Worm from Labyrinth, Gobble Ghost in Ghost Garb. Yes. The Bait Bus Gremlin who drives the Bait Bus but doesn't move anywhere while they discuss the contestant of the day. And then Sabrina, oh no, Vanity giving Ubarayas. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. That's great. Oh, good. And they're actually mostly making over Brighton from The Nanny. Well, no, he's gone. Oh, right. He was killed.

That was in 2023, darling. But he's been pushed back out, and goodbye. The Nanny. What was he to do? Where was he to go? He's pushed out into the void Breathing in the mulch Brighton is mulch

We just call him mulch now The pile of mulch that used to be Brighton from the nanny And I think at the start of this topic We said maybe we'd talk about the first five. But you know what? I think we do let them all in, but they just join the line of celebrity animals that are being fed to the Meg.

And those five can feed her one a day. That's a great, great celebrity animal. And you know Carson's obsessed with horses. Apparently. Yeah, that's funny. So he can be in place of a horse. Yeah, he'll love talking to Mr. Ed Before Mr. Ed gets eaten by the Meg

That's right And a headless horseman's horse Yeah Yeah, it'll be good That's quite good Alright, well I think on that note Let's take a little break Bye-bye

Welcome back. Haasulangyo to you all. We have one final topic of discussion today, and let's just get right the fuck into it. What bodily fluid goes into the bunker today? Yeah. You know, we've got bodies in the bunker, but what fluids are they filled with?

Inquiring minds need to know. Now, um... Let's talk about the heavy hitters. Let's dive in. Cum. Cum, blood, tears. Oh, no, I still want to talk about cum. Oh, sorry. Cum.

How good? I'm just sorry. Cum. How good. I'm just sorry. Just let me finish my vat of cum before I have this conversation. So the Beastie Girls did a gig once where we rented a dunking machine. Yes. The good people at Baba were nice enough to rent us a dunking machine. Yes. We said, we're not going to do a show,

but could you rent us a carnival barker's dunking machine where people have to throw hacky sacks at a target, and if they hit it, the seat drops you into a vat of water. Yes, except, here's our fun little spin, listener, we turned the water into a liquid that looked like cum, or at least we told liquid that looked like cum or at least we told ourselves it looked like cum and um then as we were progressively dunked over and over and over for hours we would come out of the tank and be help me please i'm covered in gum oh could

someone help my sister she's covered in gum and then because, so where they set up the dunk tank was at the entrance of the club. So that like while patrons were waiting to get into the club, because the lines can be quite long, they could take part in this like carnival game and dunk the Beastie Girls in cum. Yeah. And we called it the cum tank. Yeah. No, cum dump. Cum dump.

Of course. We were in an alleyway in the city and so there were just passers-by going behind us yeah and we'd be sitting on the chair and like it started i think benign got in and started just heckling passers-by i mean like you could never do anything to me you could never cover me and come. And then like started baiting these like straight lads walking down the street who were like, what the fuck is this? Because we looked insane. Yes.

And they were like, come on, straightie, cover me and come. And then like they were- You can't throw a ball at a target. And then we like got them so hyped up that they were like, I am going to cover you and come. I'm going to cover you and so much come. And then they're like, because it was like their ego on the line of like, could they dunk the cross-dresser and come?

And so like all the lads would be like, even if they weren't going to the party, we're like, no, let him have a go. And then they'd be standing there like, let me have another choice. And they'd keep missing. We'd be like, you stupid little man. You could never do shit to me. Look at that faggot. He covered me in cum.

Yeah. And what can you do? Nothing. You're just leaving me dry. Like every woman you've ever touched. This is foreshadowing for the rest of your night. Find someone else where you can. Literally.

And then when they finally did hit it, like all the like lads were like, yeah, you're coming in, come. Meanwhile, six foot drag queen dunks into the cupboard. And then we get, and we're like, you're coming, my sister, in, come. So come. That was such a highlight. It was so good. And because we'd asked, because it was like the middle of the night and we were like, just make sure that the water is a bit hot

when it goes in because we're going to freeze. And then when the first dunk happened, it was just almost scalding hot water. It was so hot. We like milkyky like milk bath added to give it kind of an opacity yeah

but the just the like it was so hot hot you'd come out like red yeah

welts all over your body being like I've been dumped in steaming hot gum so if you ever hear us say she's absolutely governing cum, it's from that night.

From that. Okay, so cum. Cum's great. Although, as previously discussed, not so good in the shower. And just generally pretty short shelf life on quality.

Absolutely. Not something that you want to hang around. No. Blood. Blood. Blood. Isn't blood cool? Blood's very cool.

Like blood, its properties of clotting, how quickly it stains things. And like when they're like murder scenes, like where would murder be without blood? Like, you know, when everyone became obsessed with, like, how blood splattered directions landed? Yes. And then we were all like, well, now I know who solved the crime because it came from the left or whatever. That's right.

Yeah. Like, if people didn't bleed, we would never solve any more crimes. And that Dexter DVD cover? Yeah. Right? Blood was huge. Yeah. Right. Blood was huge. Yeah. Was.

Blood, The Last Vampire, incredible anime. Spit. Spit. Very helpful. And you know what? When you don't have it, it becomes a bit tragic. Those nights where you sleep like a sea lion with your mouth agape and you wake up with the driest throat.

And no matter how much you drink, it doesn't seem to ever get drier. No, you need like a good hour to just like re-lubricate. I had a friend who was on antidepressants and as a result, she stopped salivating. And so she had to take these sachets of artificial saliva with her where she went. Wow. And she would just occasionally dump a bag of artificial saliva in her mouth.

Wow. To keep things moving. And I think about how much I want that. What was the packaging on the artificial saliva like? Like, if you think about one of those, oh, I don't know that you, like, you know what Capri Sun is? Like those little pouches of like fruit punch juice. They're like silvery and you stab the straw into it.

Oh, yes. It was like that. Okay. Yeah. Like almost like what something like a small sheet mask might come in. Yeah, okay. Yeah. That's cool.

That is cool. And I want one. That's quite good. Sweat? Sweat. I am so sweaty. Oh, I know. I think I genuinely have a genetic thing, like hyperhidrosis.

Because when I sweat, it's like my body turns on the full sprinkler system. And then it just, my whole body is wet. Yeah. And then it stops. And suddenly I just stop sweating. Like right now I'm completely wet. Yeah. And then it stops. And suddenly I just stop sweating. Like right now I'm completely dry. Yeah. And then if something happens,

like if there was like a performing or whatever, it will just be on and then until it's off. Yeah. Yeah. It's really weird. Help me someone. Weird. It's not necessarily the best for a drag queen.

No. Okay. Sweat. Pus. okay sweat pass not a fan of pass pass though apparently i mean obviously hugely important well no one's denying if it's important yeah um she's done some great work but like rarely talked about what do you think about extraction videos? I hate that shit. Like, love to hate? No. I don't want it.

No. Yeah, I just, I'm like, no. You don't partake. You're not much of a pimple popper. No, I hate that shit. I really do. Yeah. I just, I feel like, no.

That, like, that, no, no, no. I love. Even just, like, watching people pick at their skin of, like, when they have pimples in real life, I'm like, stop it. I think it's good for an intimate setting of not in public. And in private. Oh, yeah. Not in private, not in private. I lament, like, having a boyfriend

because some of my favourite times with previous boyfriends is being like, I'm just, I mean... No. Getting, like, blackheads on your shoulders. No. No, not doing that. I love that. That's, no's no matt what do you think of that popping yeah um i don't it's like it makes me sick to watch people do it yeah but i enjoy doing it

on myself no i love it i hate that i hate well. But I watch those videos sometimes if they pop up in my feed and, like, I feel physically ill, but I can't stop looking at them sometimes. Yeah, it's the same thing when Death to Everyone pops up. I don't love. It's like a train wreck. Yeah. I don't love the videos sometimes.

Also, because if sometimes they're so zoomed in. Yeah, if they're too close, it's disgusting. And it just looks like little, it's not satisfying. You've got to watch it from a distance. Because also the scale influences if I'm impressed. And when you're zoomed in so far, what could be one millimeter length of like pass looks like it's, you know,

ladies just quiet. Just like 50 mil vomiting and vomit. That's another one. Well, vomit. Yeah. Vomit's iconic because it's so like awful. Can I tell you on Thursday,

I coughed so much that I vomited. Oh, and did you then cough more after vomiting? Yes. Vomiting is so bad. I coughed so much that I vomited. Oh. Ew. And did you then cough more after vomiting? Yes. Vomiting is so bad. It's a bad tooth, right? Yes.

Stomach acid. The whole time I was like, don't, it's just going to make it worse. But I just was coughing so much that, I don't know, there was no air left to push out. So I had to push out something else. Oh, my God. It was bad um projectile vomit i even like that's chic that's like as we've discussed i'm a big vomiter um and like i've been vomited on as i told that story about that guy you know vomit is just like Yes, yes, yes It's all happened to all of us Yeah Tears

Tears Tears is a good one Oh my god, that was so scary That little ghost sound Yes It was like It's getting a bit windy in the studio Tears

We said tears and it was like Chilling. No, that was me. I don't know. No, that's not... Yeah, tears are so cool. Yeah, tears are good. Yeah.

Crocodile tears. Yeah. What are tears? Is that... Salty water. Can you cry on command? They're just to kind of like moisten your eye I don't know what the evolutionary task of tears must be

Let's look into that But Yeah Like Lubricate the eye Or remove irritants But why is it linked to emotion? Because you like Why is being sad suddenly going to dry

your eyes um but i think there's been like a few times where i've been able to like actually get back to like getting myself to well up but i can't get to the full, like, bowling. I, there are some songs, weirdly, that when I listen to certain songs, I'm like, oh, that can really set me off. Do you ever feel? No, don't. I couldn't possibly. Like a plastic bag. But I cry. Yeah, the things that i cry to are so pathetic i like i mean

it's ridiculous like i'll be on youtube and a fucking like gorilla and kitten videos No much worse Like I don't know Storm's greatest moments In X-Men 90's Comes up and I just watch the first few things And I'm like That's so stupid I agree that it's stupid

Even when I was Fucking researching the Like Arwen's spell And re-watching that scene i cried jesus like right but why yeah like i can love things it doesn't make me cry i find that i get like really like choked up and on the verge of tears like when people all sing together in a musical or like a musical starts and i'm like this is halloween this is halloween literally like when i'm so excited that like people are beautiful and all doing something together i'm like oh i didn't think that you had that in you that's like yeah but like i get like that full body goose pitbull experience and i'm like people are just so amazing but then that passes i find that like sometimes as well like

i will be like i was at a friend's wedding and the whole day had been like getting more emotional about like i don't know just seeing your friend go through this thing and like being excited for them and you know what this thing and then like excited for them and, you know, what this thing. And then like they started to walk down the aisle and I was like crying, like silently, but like just tears falling. And then something in my head just turned off and I didn't feel a thing for the rest of the wedding. And I don't know what it is, but it was literally like I hit a point

where I was like crying, crying, crying. And then I think I just like came out of myself i was like what the fuck are you doing and then i just was like oh i'm actually fine this is just a wedding like what's happening i think yeah god i'm just thinking about crying um yeah i cry a lot to weird stupid pop culture things that I shouldn't. But I do actually, like I do cry a lot to kind of shed emotion and just thinking back to last year where I certainly did that in a very public place at the Beastie Girls finale in front of what, 400 people? Yes.

400 people where like in the final performance, we all have this like little spiel where we're like all having a little speech and i get out to do mine and i was like sobbing i could barely get a word out people love that yeah that's what they paid the money for he said grown man cries on stage in a flat human hair wig Just because it's pink doesn't mean it can be flat What are we going to do about human hair wigs? I

Just don't think they're for us No I very much like come to terms with that Yeah, that's fine Poo I don't think that's fine. Poo? I don't think that's a fluid. Or diarrhea.

Diarrhea, yes. I don't really want to talk about it, so let's just move on. And say no one's doing poo in the bunker. I also just need to... Everyone needs a plug when they come in. No more... Like, I just hate... I like to say shit.

Oh, shit. I. No more, like, I just hate, like, just say shit. Oh, shit. I can't handle people like, poo-poo. Like, ew, it's so creepy. Anyone who says poo-poo is a pedophile. I didn't say poo-poo. You just did. But, like, yeah, shit is shit is like It's funny Only when like

My sister and I have a joke Well not a joke My sister and I have A kind of rule That we don't do fart jokes But like occasionally my sister will be like If you ever cross me like that I'm gonna come into your room

and shit on your fucking bed. She'd be like, I'll press my cheeks against your door and I'll shit through the keyhole into your room and you'll see my shit Play-Doh Fun Factory into your fucking room in the shape of a key. What sort of keyholes do you have, like the big old-fashioned ones? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a good old-fashioned, like, yeah, like series of unfortunate events.

One that you can picture out. Yeah. But for some reason... Because you have to get a good seal to get to a normal modern-day keyhole. Yeah. Yeah, picking the luck Wow Me and my partner have been playing a game called Guess my fart

No Where before we do it we have to guess what sound it's going to make I hate See, this is what I hate I hate that And I think that you need to apologize to everyone. That's so fucked. It makes it more fun.

Romance is dead. Yeah. When you're like, guess my fart. Being together for nearly 11 years and you have a daughter, it's gone to that point now. Yeah, the mystery is. And I think that's why I'm like, the extremity of like shit joke is fine. I just hate fart jokes.

Oh, scary. I also just think like, considering that gay men will either get fucked in the ass or will fuck ass. We can't joke around about this. I don't want to think about, like, I'm aware that that's the primary function, but I don't need to. We don't have the luxury of making jokes about it. Yeah, let's just

leave that one. Let's, like, pretend. Yeah. And you know what? We always have piece of shit as our swear word of choice in the bunker, so we've kind of got shit covered. Some of us are covered in shit. Yeah, and the only way it would be getting in is if it was in liquid form.

And that's just not okay. Guess my shit. Guess what kind of shit is going to be in there. You know, when you go to like the naturopath or whatever and they have that chart of like all the different types. The Bristol stool chart. Yeah, the Bristol stool chart. Oh, my God.

That is such a funny. My uncle David used to delight and be like, you ever heard of the Bristol stool chart? Where you get the different types of, you know, shit. And, you know, one to seven, this is a good number three day. Like something like that. Yeah. Oh, God.

I think we've talked about this before, but, you know, like when you go to the naturopath and they make you do like a stool test. Yeah. And you like. You have to send it back. You have to put it in that little cup. Yeah. And you send it in the post.

I feel like that's just such a cruel joke. The post is, yeah, they put up with a lot. I reckon that 90% of posts is just people's shit just being ferried around the country. Exactly that. Exactly that. I have never had the privilege. Piss. Three, two, one. Piss. ever had the privilege um piss three two one piss welcome back to piss chat with uh zelda and lazy um yeah i like piss to everyone piss to you piss to me

pistomology yeah piss on mulch uh piss piss piss piss It's a pretty good one It's got a bad rep but I think it's pretty good It gets a lot of air time for something that's a bit like Inane Like it's just like It's kind of nothing and something at the same time Yeah You know when you

Have slept for like 15 hours for some reason and then you piss? Piss. And it's like, wow, a few more hours and I would have poisoned myself by keeping this inside of myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it's like the deepest, darkest amber.

Yes. It's like rum. That's dark rum. Matt, I've never heard you laugh this much in the entire course yeah fucking straight people this makes me so angry we've been doing a comedy podcast for this long and then you're like i turned my mark up a bit today as well so you can hear like normally i'm just chuckling in the background but you're like it's like quite a hot mark today. Yeah. Oh my God. Okay. Well, piss.

And then there's of course phlegm. That would be like mucus. I wouldn't call that. Well, that's like, well, you know what we in the community called the good spit, you know? Like when you get past just the regular spit and you get into real good spit. Yeah. Like the stuff that's going to like make it go down. Right.

You know what? The reject shop would sell lube, right? They have like a health section. I don't think the reject shop does any adult products. No condoms and lube. No. Wow.

I'm not buying condoms from the reject shop. Well, then we might need the good spit in the bunker Okay And I think you have to remember as well That people's bodily fluids will now be Because I think like obviously You can't stop the human body from producing blood

But they'll have to like then get like Put through one of those Like a What is it? Like when you have bad livers Dialysis machines But like they take out the blood And put in whatever fluid we decide on

Oh so everyone's just running on cum Well yeah If we pick cum Then Gwyneth now has to go on the dialysis So if you get a cut Like just cum just leaks out Yeah yeah yeah Spraying cum

Or the good spit And if you're crying Yeah Tears of cum Tears of calm. Tears of calm. Yeah. Do you orgasm at all? Or is that just...

I mean, I think you could, but as we discussed, kind of life's hard on those Murphy beds. And they can only... It's kind of cruel that we did Murphy beds and the only sex position we have is doggy style. That's right. Because you're flipped up in the wall and there's not a lot of room. But that's why the bait bus is a prime location anyway.

When it's not doing its queer eye thing. Oh, poor Bobby. And Gretchen is 35 and she's feeling really down. Could you get out? So what do you think? I think it's either the good spirit or calm. So what do you think? I think it's either the good spirit or come And I think people expect us to say come So I'm almost tempted to be like nowhere above that

High road this shit and go for the good spirit Good spirit But then what does that mean, no come? No come, just the good spit. Well, then if it's blood, people are crying blood, cumming blood, pissing shit in blood. I do love blood. Blood's very dramatic.

But the good spit. And for the gentle listener at home Oh, pause Sorry Crying pause, shitting pause That would be disgusting So thick Yeah, for the dear listener at home, could you just

How many dear listeners do we have? Are you Have you seen how big I think we've talked about this before You've talked about this so much I was watching more in my week of isolation at home I think I watched like About how big moose are

Yes Okay we know It's incredible though Moose I know they're big They're so big Like colossal in size That's why people get killed by moose. Yeah.

And they deserve it. Also, okay, so the new video that I saw was deer popping off their antlers. You know the difference between antlers and horns? No. Okay, so annually, like deer that grow antlers, like male deer, will have this boost of testosterone and they will grow their antlers for the year. And then after the mating season or whatever the fuck,

they just pop off, like literally pop off, like you at the end of a drag night with your fingernail. Wow. And then that's it. And then they chill out. Simultaneously or one at a time? Oh, at the same time. They do like a big head shake and then it's it. And then they chill out. Simultaneously or one at a time? Oh, at the same time. They do like a big head shake and then.

Wow. It's incredible. Whereas a horn is like a bony extrusion. Yeah. Like it's a bird of money. Yeah, it's not popping off. No. Anyway, so cool.

Blood's just so dramatic. Bone marrow? Do we give any time to bone marrow? No. Oh, and I was going to say bile as well. I do feel like bile is different to vomit. And pus. Yeah.

My memory of. Bile doesn't really come out of your body though, does it? It's just kind of in there. Well, that's not a bodily fluid. That's true. Are we talking about all sorts of fluids in your body though, does it? It's just kind of in there. Well, that's not a bodily fluid. That's true. Are we talking about all sorts of fluids in your body? Because there's probably a lot that just stay inside you. Well, we're not doctors, Matt.

Matt, I don't know. This isn't medical Dr. Joe. I'm just checking. Well, no, that's why he brought up bone marrow. Yeah. The precious fluid. There is this. I have this.

Why do bones need marrow i don't i don't think anyone knows um but growing up my dad made this dish one day i don't know why or what but he had these bones and i have this vivid memory of him like sucking the marrow out of the bones and describing it as sweet meat as he was sucking it down, which a few years later I became vegetarian, so that makes sense. But then he was so sick from like, I don't know how rich it was or whatever the fuck and it just so bone marrow i just think is disgusting and life-saving

and spine fluid spinal fluid very cool imagine that's like coolant or something i don't know what it is yeah or like maple syrup yeah oh yeah like when you tap the tree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which doesn't come out of the tree as maple syrup. It just comes out as maple water. Do you know this? Yes. That's so bad. It doesn't get its color until later on.

Mm-hmm. What a lie. Fermentation process, right? What fucking fresh hell is this? It's a long journey to get any of these resources, you know. Can I say life's tough in Alaska? You've got to watch out for the moose. Well, that's been Moose Chat.

Moose Watch. Moose Watching for our dear listeners. I don't know. Okay. Okay. Well, it's just on the count of three, we'll lock in an answer.

Say it at the same time. And say it at the same time. Okay. You've got to look at each other and just. Okay. Three, two, one.

Calm. Okay. Great. Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm glad we're here. We are nothing. Calm it in. Calm. We, great. Yes. Okay. Okay. I'm glad we're here. Everybody is covered in calm.

You know what? This is not a highbrow show. This is not. We tried. We tried. There's some solid arguments there, however, calm. I can't in good conscience go to sleep tonight knowing that we did anything other than calm. Exactly.

good conscious go to sleep tonight knowing that we did anything other than calm exactly like this show was founded on calm yeah and it will continue on calm because it's a funny word to say and everyone's like ew yeah if you want humanity to survive the apocalypse you gotta have it in there you gotta have calm sperm can't swim in vomit or blood. Is there a word for the self-lubricating liquid in a woman? I'm sure. What is that liquid? Once again. Vaginal fluid, I think.

Vaginal fluid. We didn't talk about that. Oh, sorry. Vaginal fluid. Because we have little experience with it. Three, two, one. Vaginal fluid. Yeah, I don't have much to say about that, but other than. Because we have little experience with it. Three, two, one, vaginal fluid.

Yeah, I don't have much to say about that, but other than... Well, you know what? If you have a strong case for vaginal fluid, just send us through a message. Yes. If you think that it's... Maybe Mel B runs like an undercover vaginal fluid... Operation. Yeah. Okay, well, that's locking in.

That's done. So this week, going into the bunker is fettuccine bobby berg and gum gum a room that will be emptied into the abyss once a day yes at the first of the day yes that's right one ambiper in and then and watch out because we've just assigned the gen three of the fabulous five or whatever they're called oh yeah you came into my life they go on a bunker street now plus street yeah all right well thanks so much for listening everyone Please have a nice life We'll see you at the end of times

And remember Mulchy Mulchy Mulch It's Mulch Death Ever was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. You got something to say to us? Well, tell us at death to everyone pod at gmail.com.

And won't you support us, please, and gain access to our Discord server by signing up to patreon.com slash death to everyone. Bye. Bye.