Death To Everyone - Death To… Pick n Mix, Bisexuals & Indoor Plants feat. Bae Park

Episode Date: May 5, 2025

We got a visitor to our bunker today! The fabulous Bae Park joins us to discuss which of these important things get saved from the apocalypse. Now!EnjoyFollow us, won't you?⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm so sure you're enjoying it. I'm so sure you're enjoying it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha are now hearing the voice of Lazy Susan. And me, Zelda Moon, hello. And we are of course driven by our space car driver this and every week, Matches. Hello. Hello. Hello. This is a show called Death to Everyone, which is about the apocalypse, the incoming end of times. Now with any end of times, it is imperative

for the general populace to make decisions about what they'd like to save in their bunker and what they'd like to cast to the wind. And that is our job as the divine celestial beings, two iconic women who come to you live from the celestial void each week to pick through humanity's greatest achievements and decide what is getting into our doomsday bunker to be spared. And it's a burden, but we pull up our socks and we say, let's get to it.

Socks? I'm not even wearing any. You're crazy, girl. You laugh just because? I'm not wearing socks. Okay. Now, it's my divine pleasure to introduce that we have- Skellington! Oh yeah, so we have three multiple guests this week.

A room full of Skellingtons, it's like it's Halloween. It's always Halloween in the bunker. But to go with our Halloween accessories, we have incredible icon of the drag scene, one of my closest personal friends. Please welcome, why is that funny? Oh, I thought you were joking. Oh, it happened.

Please welcome Bay Park. Oh, thank you very much. Happy to be here. Thank you very much. Bay Park, welcome. Thank you so much for coming and helping us in the celestial void Void today. Well, I was very happy to be able to come up here.

I've been listening from down on Earth all this time. It's nice to finally experience the space car and the space void. Yes, yeah, it's more of a space limousine. We just don't like to seem preachy. Yes. You haven't mentioned the red lighting yet. It's beautiful.

Thank you. Now you are, of course, a drag performer. Indeed. You're the official fourth Beastie Girl. Oh, yes. That's right. From back in the day. Bay nine girl.

Bay nine girl. But yes, an incredible performer in your own right. And so do you want to just lay out some really controversial opinions for the listeners to really hold on to? Controversial opinion? What's your hottest take? Look, I don't think it's like the most controversial opinion. I think it's probably been said before, but I'm just like a woman out there,

trying to have it all. And just like Morticia, it's very hard to find the time to pursue the dark arts. In this economy, it's really putting a strain on the most precious resource, which is time. Time. You only get it once. Oh, there it goes. Exactly. Just like that. It goes again? Yeah.

Exactly. How many places do you de-head in that time? None, by the looks of it. No, you barely get your secateurs out and it's over and it's time to make dinner, you know? It's just too much. I like the sentence. I know it's a controversial opinion.

I'm just a woman out there trying to have it all. Just a woman. You know. That's... It's controversial. It's my controversial opinion. I'm just a woman out there trying to have it all. I'm just out there.

Yeah. They want me to be in there, but I'm out there. Out in these streets. I keep trying, you know? Well... But you also are a singer. you're a seamstress, you're a mother, you actually do have it all. That's right, except for the pursuit of the dark arts.

That's what I'm saying. Well, that's why we brought the Skellingtons. You've got to try and squeeze it in in between drying your layers of paper mache. That's what I've found. That's the way to do it. The decoupage as well, yes. It takes a lot of time to cut out

all those little Skellington pieces. Pedigraps, yeah. All those little monsters. True. So you are a mother. The last mother we had on this podcast, apart from us, obviously, because we're giving mother.

Mother is mothering. Oh, she sat in the mother toilet. Exactly. Is that what you call your toilet at home? The mother toilet? Yes. It was the mother toilet, but then I changed the toilet seat. Now it's the family toilet.

Doesn't have the same ring to it, but it is very practical. Is it like a clear UV resin with like a tarantula inside? And seashells? Yeah it's two layers, one is seashells, the next is all insects of various kinds. So some a couple of tarantulas, some crickets, some you know there's one small scorpion in there. Oh something for the tarantulas to eat. You could spend hours in there. Well, do you know, I got a new toilet seat. It's an exciting time, isn't it? Yeah, it was great. But I mean, like, I'm not... The toilet seat I got, right, I was like,

I just want a non-white toilet seat. I want, like, I just want a bit more colour in this room. Mm-hmm. And I found... Bird's egg blue or...? Well, it's bird's egg blue. Of course. But I was like, I was looking for toilet seats and it's impossible to find, like, without

spending, like, you know. Yeah. Once you're like redesigning really specific elements of a bathroom, you've now entered like aristocracy levels of rich. Like there are none at Bunnings that are not white. That's just not. I had to look everywhere for my seashells. Except for the really crappy like disgusting timber ones.

Right. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Bacteria. But I got the blue one that I found, which was the only thing cheap. And do you know why there's blue toilet seats? No. Because when people are sundowning, when there are people with, um, dementia, they oftentimes will replace their toilet seat to be a different colour, to make it more visible so that they piss in the toilet seat.

Ah. Like in the hole. And blue is a safer. Yeah. Are you getting to that stage? I feel like it, but I am like, like, you know, if it happens to help anyone with dementia in my house, or guests we have who have dementia, you know, please come over and piss in our mother toilet. Well, your toilet should now be called the mother and other toilet.

Mother and other. Which is what you should refer to your child as. The other. I'm mother and your other. Yes, absolutely. Which is what you should refer to your child as. The other. I'm mother and your other. Yes. Yeah. That's a dynamic draw. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, it's time to dive into the week's events or did you want to? Oh, well, I was just I was gonna just scratch a little bit more. Oh, go on. Um. Wait. Oh. Scratch, scratch, scratch. Right to the marrow. You're right not scratching the skinnington.

Right to the marrow. You're right at the meater thing, sweetie. Have I told the story about when my dad sucked the marrow out of that bone and got sick? Yes. I think that rings a bell. What? What? There was this like- Bacterial meningitis?

Core memory of mine of mum preparing some like meat bone dish. And then like after the meal, there were still these like chunks of bone. And there's a vivid memory of my dad and my brother sucking the marrow out of the bone and calling it sweet meat. Eww. I used to love sucking the marrow out of the lamb chop bone. What do you suck things out of now? Whoa. Okay.

I suck the marrow out of that ass. Do you know, I think there's nothing more depraved and debauched and incorrect as sucking. Because... I mean, I think we need to get rid of the straw trend. Oh. Straws are out. I'm saying it now, it's gauche to suck. Gauche. Gauche.

It's gauche. It's so frightfully gauche. When I see drag queens sucking down their little drink, looking at you, she's got a straw in her drink right now. I was offered it by the space car driver. Well. Sorry, his name's Matt, I think. We shouldn't accept every offer we're given.

Wow. But- You couldn't drink it out of that tiny slit in your coffee cup. Sorry, his name's Matt, I think. We shouldn't accept every offer we're given. Wow. You couldn't drink it out of that tiny slit in your paper cup. There was a tiny slit in the coffee cup lid. Can you stop saying tiny slit? That's to keep you from dunking your face into the drink, from keeping you hog from your drop. The only thing.

That's one gulp if I took off that lid. Wow. What about if a drag queen has non, like not permanent staying lipstick on, and then it's just all over the place and the glass and the everything. Well, I just want to say, like, do you imagine women in similar positions? I'm imagining Emma Stone at the Oscars. Uh-huh. It's 2024.

She's about to win for, um, poor things. Do you think she's sitting at the table at the Oscars next to Yorgos Lathimos sipping down her, her wine with a straw? Absolutely not. Or is she sipping delicately from the edge of the glass being the divine creature that she is, and just leaving trace amounts of whatever L'Oreal sponsorship makeup

she's forced to wear that night? Because I want to be Emma Stone. I don't want to be crazy straw Jennifer Lawrence sitting at the next table going... Pfft! Yeah, fair call. Nobody wants to be Jennifer Lawrence. Not even Jennifer Lawrence.

Not even Mystique? No! How hot is it that Rebecca is back, wants to be Jennifer Lawrence. Not even Jennifer Lawrence. Not even Mystique? No. How hot is it that Rebecca is back and Jennifer is nowhere to be seen? God. I'm into that. Yeah. Darling, are you a zoo in China?

Cause you're being pandered too. I told you about the panda situation in China. They own them all. Yes. They listens. I owned them all. Yes. They listened. I'm like, I couldn't be forced to listen to this again. And we had to live through it.

OK. But what I was going to say, I think, was Bay Park and I have known each other for quite some time. Indeed. Longer than I've known you. How did you meet each other? I think it was Fifi that first brought us together, wasn't it? She did. She really did.

The sausage dog with false lashes? Correct. Yes. What a diva. Not a joke. A true fact. Yes. Actually happened.

Actually. So my first boyfriend. Brag about it. Uh, first boyfriend, his, uh, mother had these fabulous friends, um, feeling Julia, and I needed a job, I don't know, at some point or whatever. And I got in touch with them and landed this job working at their, um, small business, which was like a wholesaler to like gift wear kind of news agency kind of trinkety shops. Um, and I was working in the warehouse and who else worked in that warehouse?

It was I, Bay Park. How did you end up working in that warehouse? Yeah. How did I end up working at that warehouse? I, oh, Just snuck in. It was actually weirdly through music connections. I think it's like, oh, you know, people that do music and how they have no jobs and they need money.

Uh, so I think I already was playing in a band with some other friends of Phil's. And that was how the connection was made. And then I started working on music with Phil. After you worked at the warehouse? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, right.

Cause then we used one of those warehouses when they were changing, moving across the road to shoot a video clip. Yes. Yeah. Yes. Wait, you shot a music video in a warehouse? Yeah. Crazy.

Oh, it was so edgy. What's that over here? What's all this raw concrete? Wait, what was the band's name? Are they still around? They are still around, but their name is a secret. Oh. It's very mysterious.

We're not doing cross-promotions today. Oh, fuck those fuckers. We hate them. Yes, but we worked there, and I remember your iconic flame of hair at the time. Oh. You had this kind of like cunty lob. Oh, yes.

And it was like fire engine, like cherry orange. Oh my God. Yeah. Oh, you know what that was? That was the stage where I was awkwardly growing out what had been a long mohawk. Oh my God. So I'd had both the sides shaved, but just with a little bit above the ear sticking out like Sharpie style, like 80s Sharpie.

That is wild. I cannot imagine you with that. And then I was like, what am I gonna do now? How do I, you know, cause the awkward phase of a mohawk is exceedingly awkward. Especially if the middle bit of hair is like long. I would say there's not a phase of the mohawk where it's not awkward.

The whole thing is awkward. It's like, which type of cockatoo am I today? But the middle bit was really long, so I just started parting it down the middle. And so I just, when I ran, it looked like a man in a toupee with these little hair wings flapping up and down. Or sometimes it would get stuck to the Velcro of the shaved bit underneath. That was very hilarious. Wait, what product did you use to style your hair into a risen mohawk?

I would tease the shit out of it with like backcombing and stuff. And then I would spray and wax, I think. Yeah, man. Yeah. It was a combo. There's a guy at my school that had a mohawk. Quite an impressive mohawk. It was several spikes. Like it was spike, spike, spike, spike, spike, probably about this, about like 40 centimetres off his head. Yeah, that's big.

It's insane. Yeah. But I was like, what do you use? That's what I said. What do you use? And did he say soap? Soap. Yeah. Why are they? What's happening with that? Is that a punk thing? It is a punk thing.

Yeah. I mean, I think it must actually be effective, but also maybe more importantly, it's cheap. Yes. Or easy to put in your pocket at the supermarket. Yeah. You didn't hear it from me. Punks. They don't respect the law.

I love that. Where have all the punks gone? Where have all the punks gone? Who's sitting on Flender Street? The steps. No one. Yeah. No, literally no one.

It's so sad. It's so sad. There's a product that I discovered when I was doing hairstyling, which is called white sands and it's like a hairspray lacquer that they use in pageantry. And that is how, I mean, I discovered this after I had a Mohawk, but like, it is the most like incredible product. Why aren't we using white sands in our wheels? We should. It's like you hold a shape, you spray it and it holds the shape. Like it's incredible. I have these photos of when I like discovered it at makeup school and I like just put all my hair into like a troll doll-esque art.

Oh yes. And it just held. Like no backcombing, nothing. It's amazing. That is so cool. Yeah, I don't know why we don't use that. What the hell? I was in such tears last night looking for a single wig that wasn't like destroyed.

Like it's like, I have all these wigs that have, that are about five or four wears into, like there was like a fresh style and we were like four or five wears later and now it's like flyaways and like. Yeah, how do you manage that? Like. I don't know. I think we're just throwing money into.

If you're not actually a wig stylist yourself, what, you just have to like get out a hairspray and a toothbrush and try and just like. Yeah, I think what I'm gonna have to do is have like a day, a wig camp day, and just go through and make sure they're all fresh. Oh yeah. And like feeling like I could just grab any one of those wigs. But I hate wigs.

I hate the fact that like, I hate it when it's like in a style and it just like, stops looking pristine. And it's like, I hate it when it's like in a style and it just like, stops looking pristine. And it's like, what the fuck? Like, why are we dealing with this? Like, why is this like so ridiculous? Yeah. The amount of upkeep on all of drag is so annoying. Yeah.

Exceptionally. I've got like three outfits in the shop at the moment who need like zip changes and bits and bobs. Oh, when I had that gig a few weeks ago, I had forgotten that my crystal clackers, the rubber had started to come off at our improv night. And then I didn't realize until I was at the venue and it was the only shoes that I had.

And I was like, well, I was tripping over the rubber kind of flopping under my foot on improv night. So it was like, well, I have no choice. So I just like ripped the entire grip off the bottom of the shoe. And I was like, well, I have no choice. So I just like ripped the entire grip off the bottom of the shoe. And I was like, okay, the left shoe has grip. The right shoe will kill me. Remember that for the next two hours.

And I lived to tell the tale. Wow, that's terrifying. Truly. That's great. Well, I think I had- Well, you could have just been like Brenda Brest and worn a tiny little kitten heel. A tiny kitten heel mule.

Don't think I didn't clock that, Brenda. Drew, you were at that improv night. What did you think? It was like a centimeter and a half, that heel. I was like, why is this queen so short? I mean, I'm a short queen, but why? What's happening? Brenda, you're staying on blast.

And I saw her outside and I was like, good God. Oh my Lord. That's crazy. Yes, but, okay, what's one other incredible fact that we need to know about you for the listener? Oh, an incredible fact. Yeah, I need an incredible one. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, I'm a genuine bisexual.

Oh, that's actually such a good genuine fact. Call back to previous episodes of the pod. If you're bisexual, how can I see you? It's not the bisexual day of visibility. I know. True. That's why I'm only slightly sheer and slightly opaque. You might notice a little glitching.

It's fine. Relax. This is normal. Yeah. Wow. Might circle back to that one later. Yeah. Um, what's, what else is going on?

What's happened? What you had a gig? Yeah, I went and did, um, Thursday. Um, God damn. I love, I love the audience at Thursday. It's a great time, but they are all 18 years old. Yeah. Some of them have never been to a club before.

This is their first time. And like, I don't know what the pandemic did to childhood education, but some of these kids, man, I'm walking like to the dressing room and they come up to me looking like euphoria and they're like, you ate. I'm like, bitch, I'm not a vending machine. Why are you trying to order from me? You ate.

You ate. Oh my God. And then they're like, no crumbs. And then walk away. No crumbs? And there's like no, like there's no inflection. Yeah. It's just flat delivery.

Look at you, say something, that's the tea. Is it because like enthusiasm or sincerity is like not cool or something? Is there a reason that their delivery is so wooden? They watch too many A24 movies. They are lamb. Um, yeah, I mean, truly it is so bizarre just to like, like, I'm like, you are an alien creature from another realm.

Cause they're trying to give you a compliment, right? But their delivery is just like, that's that. And do you remember,FC Chloe Seveny? KFC Chloe Seveny. There was on TikTok, there was a moment where that kid got famous, who was a KFC employee. And they were filming a TikTok at KFC in uniform and they were doing a lip sync. But everyone was like, are you Chloe Seveny? Because you look exactly like Chloe Seveny.

And so they became kind of a local icon of Chloe Sevigny twink. Yeah. And then I was backstage and suddenly this person comes up to me like, lazy Susan, you better work bitch. You're fucking amazing. You ate up that season mama, that cock the tea.

That makeup is tea, you're the tea. and I was like who the fuck is this person, I don't know this person, and then I was like, it's Chloe Seven-Eighth, Deviantwink. Really? And I realised it was. Wow. Amazing. Anyway, so then the last bit of this entire evening,

which was, I got up and did my first show, which I was like, what am I going to do? I was talking to, I was consulting with Zelda Moon at her consultancy agency. Horton and Water. Horton and Water. Yeah. And drew a water bottle. And got off the stage after doing Reba McEntire's Fancy.

Oh yeah. Which the kids ate up with us. Well you left no crumbs do you? I thought you ate. That he. Well they ate up with us. Oh. Well, you left no crumbs, do you? I thought you ate. That tea. Well, they ate it as well. Everyone ate it up. It was a buffet.

Asian buffet, of course. And I got off stage, come back, and I'm like, I'm a sweaty bitch. Yaya's, the venue is- Poor ventilation. Poor ventilation, negative ventilation. They have the heating on. And I am literally like their droplets dropping off my face

while I'm just up there on stage, like wet, wet, wet, wet. I come off stage. It's obscene, it's obscene. It's just no other word for it. It was like I was in a sauna and I'm like, and like people are looking at me, like, they're like, Oh, she's always good, but is she going to have a stroke? Like I look, I was like, I look like Jordan Peele in that meme of Jordan Peele

where the water is like pissing. Anyway, so I come off stage, come back to the backstage area. And if you've been to Yoyos before for Thursday and you're like someone, you get to go, if you're not like a pleb, if you're a cool Euphoria High kid, I assume that a high school in Euphoria is called Euphoria High. Presumably. I've never seen this show. I don't think so.

But you go into the backstage area, which is like the cavernous, warehousey backstage, and I'm walking through and then I'm like, I see Karen from Finance. I'm like, what are you doing here? Out of drag. And then I see the- She goes to Euphoria High. Yeah. She's from Euphoria. She did look like Euphoria High. She had a little bit of colour in her hair. She's one of the teachers. Shady.

Wow. Hi, guys. And then I see the owner of the touring company of Down Under's, like, drag touring company. Oh, yeah. Um, and then I see Sasha Colby. What? And I'm like, out of drag.

And I'm like, what are you doing here? Yeah. And she's like, I don't know. Oh, my God. And then I'm like, I don't know. Oh my God. And then I'm like, you judged me on my first episode of Drag Race Down Under and she's like, oh my God, baby. And like gives me like a hug. I'm like, stay away from me, I'm so sweaty.

And then, then like that was like the end of our interaction. Yeah. But it was so, but like surreal to just be like, why are you here? And then also to go into like the second layer of the dressing room where you can actually get changed and hearing everyone be like, that's your call. He's out there. Can you go get a photo with Sasha Colby? And I was like, do you know what I mean? I do know. I don't get what are you going to go get a photo with Sasha Colby. I'm going to do that. And I was like, do you know what I mean?

I do know. I don't get what are you going to do with that photo? I don't understand getting photos with people culture. I mean, I also don't and I engaged with it. There's two times I engaged with it. One was when I saw Lillian Chin on the street and I didn't ask for a photo and I'll regret it forever because wow, I love her. I was like maybe 16 and she had this like, it was when she had this weird fashion show

on SBS, like it was like a 15 minute fashion show. Like a docu-series thing, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh, I love her. But I should have asked for a photo because I would have actually treasured that photo. And then the second is many years ago, like when season four was out, I don't think it had yet finished airing season four of drag race. Obviously. Um, a friend of mine worked at circuit. Um, and he messaged me being like, Sharon Needles is here, like come, like

right now. And I was like, well, yeah, like I have to. This was many years ago. Right now I would not give a shit. So I went and I went by myself, like I knew my friend was working at the bar, but I just wanted to, you know, cause you just never know like anything could happen. Um, so I went and it was when I had like my hair half blue, half pink. So like I'd look some kind of way or whatever.

And then like, yeah, it was at the bar and Alaska came up to me and was like, Hey, love your hair. And I was like, oh, thank you. Is Sharon here? And like, if only I had known what I was doing. But it was like, I kind of knew who she was. But this was before her season. This was before her season.

If you kind of knew who she was before the season, that's very impressive. Well, I was a big fan of Drag Race and like I knew that she had auditioned for previous seasons. Yeah, because she had that little video moment. So I kind of knew and like everyone kind of knew that Sharon had like a drag queen partner and stuff. So I kind of knew, but like Alaska came up to me. Yeah. And then I like a fucking dipshit was like, is Sharon Needles over there?

Yeah. And then I went up and I was like, I, no, I asked Alaska, I was like, do you think I could get a photo with Sharon? And she was like, yeah, babe, of course. Like, let's do it. And so we went over and Sharon was playing pool and Alaska was kind of like, Hey, can we get a photo?

Like there's this faggot here. And Sharon was like, no. I was like, oh, Alaska was like, well, we can still get a photo. And I was like, yeah, I'd love that. So I have this photo of me in Alaska. Oh my God. How have I never heard this story? That's so sweet.

And Sharon Needles not to be seen, which as time went on, what a fabulous turn of events. What a cunt. Right? Are you kidding? Yeah. God, it was a different time. Right.

It was a different time for drag. Yeah. Fuck that, because those divas, she came off that season and she was a fucking worldwide megastar in the gay world. Yeah. Fuck that. Because those divas, like she came off that season and she was a fucking worldwide megastar. Yes. In the gay world. We went to see her live in Melbourne.

Yeah. It was garbage. Yeah. It was pure trash. I don't know, it was city, like some laneway thing. Where was it? Yeah, it was. I can't remember the name of the venue now.

Oh my God. Yes. It? Yeah, it was. I can't remember the name of the venue now. Oh my God, yes. It was really, really packed. And what was the show? Well, like, just, you know, when drag queens release their own songs, Why do you think you are not? Good, really? And so that was a bit disappointing.

What's the haunted house one? This club is a haunted house. Wow, it's so bad. Oh, I love those vintage, vintage drag race song. Did you hear about Jujubee? Not Jujubee. Yeah. Jujubee.

No, no, no. About Jiggly Caliente. Jiggly, not Jujubee. Yeah. What about Jiggly? She was cast in this. Jesus. You say.

Just Jiggly Caliente lost her like right leg. Yeah. What? Due to an infection. Yeah. And Jujubee was there. Hahaha. Yeah, there was a post from her account being like she won't be on the next season of Philippines

because she was hospitalized, has lost a leg and needs time to recover. Oh my god, that's horrifying. She's going to be on season six. Whoa. Lost a whole leg? Do you remember when Bianca Del Rio was like, I broke my leg, I can't go on tour. Oh my God.

Wow. For the internet, she was on season six. Yeah. If I can elaborate, the girls are really spicing up their cover. Yeah. And it was hospitalised, and it lost a leg. She gets it amputated for authenticity. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my god. That's so intense. Yeah. Diva. What happened? Is it a flesh-eating virus? Right. I mean, I've become...

Is it an alligator attack? I ended up on meningitis TikTok for last night. Oh great. Sounds like a fun time. Yeah. Well, this woman was like showing videos of her son and she's like, this is three days before and he's like up and around and then they, he had meningitis and then he's dead. Oh my god. And it was just like, they didn't know, I shouldn't say this to a mother,

but they just, they just didn't know, like, and none of the doctors knew what was happening. And like, like if you, like sometimes it can just be like swimming in dirty water or something like that. Could like... Yeah, I remember seeing like posters or ads trying to warn about meningitis like that. And it was like three pictures and it was like, lick, sip, sucks. And then the last one, it's like maybe drinking or kissing or something.

And then the last one is like half of your face has been eaten off by this virus. It's like, that is a fucked up health campaign to put out in the world. Be like, hey kids, don't have too much fun or your face might fall off. Like, what? Doctors do, like when, it's like a broad thing

like meningitis where it's like contagious through contact. It's like, how do you meningitis where it's contagious through contact. It's like, how do you expect people to live their lives? Exactly. Don't touch anyone. Don't kiss. Yeah, it's crazy. Grow up. Grow up.

Sometimes you lose a leg. That's life. Oh my God. Jiggly. No leg. A life well lived. Exactly. That's right.

Okay. Shall we find out how the world ends? Yes. Bay Park. The apocalypse. Yeah. The apocalypse. Apocalypse now. Apocalypse, not serenity now, we've had serenity now.

Apocalypse. Apocalypse now. Yeah, okay, so it's the fracking, you know the fracking? Put too much pressure down there under the earth, the gas, it's very disruptive, and it awakens and deeply distresses the lava monster, you know the one from Moana? The fracking cracker, yeah.

Yeah, Te Ka, and then just all of the volcanoes in the whole world explode at the same time. Amazing. And then it's like, you know how it happened with the dinosaurs. So there's like lava covering most of the earth, but then there's like smoke clouds blocking out the sun. You get the ash falling down and then it's like a new, what do you call it? Ice age. So of course our bunkerites will be the only ones. That's great. Survive everyone else. Sorry about it.

If the lava doesn't get you, it's the lack of sunlight and no clean water for you. Yes. I've been staring, staring at the water. Yeah. Longest. That's right. Not even Zion's there to save you with the no sun. Yeah, that's right.

So sad but true. That's right. Their batteries. Sad but true. That's how it goes down. Well, what, the fracking? The fracking? Yeah, that's right. They didn't want to mention it and now it's too late. Now it's too late.

Yeah. God damn. I like that. Yeah. Well, thank you for giving us that vision of your internal world. Yeah, it's a nightmare in here. How many times have you been forced to watch Moana?

That was not going to be my question. Um, seven or eight probably. Oh, not that many. It's alright. What's been the obsessive one? Um... Seven or eight? Sonic.

Sonic? It's been Sonic lately. How many Sonic? The first Sonic movie. Yeah. With James. Yeah. I don't like James.

James Marsden. No, I strongly dislike him as Cyclops and I dislike him more as Donut Man or whatever. What about Corny Collins? Yeah. What? Who that? He's corny. What?

Nice bike kids are like to lead the way. I have no idea what either of you are saying right now. You know. The next one? That's me. From Hairspray. Hairspray. Oh, oh.

I mean, I can see his face in that film now that you mention it. He's corny. He does have a corny-ass face. He does. Kind of my main problem. What about Highway 60? Maybe he's perfect for that. Yeah. What about in? The Note Maybe he's perfect for that. Yeah.

What about in... The Notebook. Oh, I was going to say Westworld. Is he in The Notebook? He's the one that Rachel McAdams is betrothed to. He's like the GI, but she wants to be with Ryan. The reason he got casted is that because he was sitting down with the casting director at a restaurant.

Have I already told this story? I don't get it. And he's sitting down with the casting director at a restaurant and they were having a chat and he just moved to LA. He was like fresh, fresh, fresh, fresh meat. And then Julia Roberts came in and she was, oh, sorry, this is a bit of a, I've told the story in the wrong order. He'd already been in the notebook, but he hadn't been in anything else. That was his like, and like, and he has a small part in the notebook. And Julia Roberts walks in and she's like, sorry, can I interrupt? I loved you in the notebook.

And she didn't know him and the casting director was like, I'm sorry, I have to... I think it was to get Cyclops. Wow. I have to cast you if Julia Roberts stops you in a fucking restaurant to say how good you are. Yeah, yeah. Which is different to when my friend E you if Julia Roberts stops you in a fucking restaurant to say how good you are. Yeah, yeah. Which is different to when my friend Erica saw Julia Roberts in a restaurant in Norway as a child and she walked over to her and was like, hello, can I please...

Like probably in Norwegian. Can I please have an autograph? And then Julia Roberts was like, sorry, I've been eating salad and my hands are sticky. Oh my God, amazing. And then she refused. And then did Elastica come in and take a photo? That's a great excuse. I can't right now, I've been eating salad.

I couldn't possibly. Well, no, then later she was in the studio audience on a show that her mom produced and Cher was there being interviewed in Norway. So it's kind of like, that's Cher talking to a Norwegian person. And then she pointed to Erica in the audience who had like a little blue clipping streak in her hair at the time. Cause she was a cool eight year old. And she was like, this girl's cool.

You're a rock chick. Wow. Incredible. So she was like, I always love Cher and I hate Julia Roberts. That's not a bad way to be. Yeah, totally. I'm sorry, I just had a salad, my hands are sticky. Sorry, I just had a salad.

That's my Julia Roberts. I'm going to take that to Snatch Game next time. I'm sorry, I just had a salad, my hands are all sticky. And every time it comes around to you, what did you write down, Julia Roberts? I didn't write anything, my hands are too sticky. Sorry, it's a knee swath. Oh my God, they're called boobs, Ed.

Yeah. That's all you've got lady. I haven't do a rewatch of that. Should we do that for movie? I am going to learn that monologue. Yeah. Yeah. You have to know, but will you do it with me?

Aaron, is that what we're talking about? Yeah. But it's, I've rewatched that. Yeah. It's so good. Actually, when we got our soil tested as as per last week's episode, they found a bit of chromium in the front yard. And they were like, check if it's hexavalent.

And I was like, I know about hexavalent chromium because of Julia Roberts and Erin Brockovich. Wow, what an educational film. I know. I know about boobs. Exactly, I never knew before. That's all you've got lady. Wait, I don't know what the next bit of that.

That and that and ugly shoes. I was like listening to it on like a lip sync the other day. I love when she's going to the houses to like sign more people up. Kids get out of the pool. Maybe we should do Aaron Brockovich as a freedom show. Yeah. Yes. Um, although they, at the start of the film, Hamlet 2, have you seen that? No. Maybe we should do Aaron Brockovich as a friend show. Yeah. Yes.

Although at the start of the film, Hamlet 2, have you seen that? No. Oh my God, we need to watch that film. Hamlet 2 with Steve Coogan. Oh, sounds good. It's amazing. I'm in. Steve Coogan, let's go. Steve Coogan and Elizabeth Shue.

But that's the very start. He's like kind of a Mr. G type character, but in America, except he's straight. And he is just staged a straight play of Aaron Brockovich. And it's like a little 15 year old girl doing one of the speeches. Zero. That's about the amount of times you're going to call me. Oh, yes. But maybe we should just do it. I think we can do that.

I don't even remember what movie you said it was from. Hamlet 2. Sounds good. And who did you say before that someone was sitting next to with the Oscars or whatever? Steve Brokawich? Jorgos Lathimos. What is that? Jorgos Lathimos is the director that did Poor Things. And Dog Tooth.

And The Lobster. And The Lobster, yeah. And The Killing of a Sacred Deer. He just likes to make people feel strange for two hours at a time. No, I don't know what any of those are. Killing of a Sacred Deer is what made me like really off that Barry Kiyo guy. God, him eating spaghetti. I cannot look at that face ever again in my life after that film.

Ugh. That was incredible performance. But also like when Nicole Kidman in that film is like, we all have beautiful hair. Oh, God. And they're arguing about. Every line delivery in that whole film just makes me feel uneasy. film is like, we all have beautiful hair. Every line delivery in that whole film just makes me feel uneasy. It's just very those you ate. It's that kind of delivery.

I can't deal. They are all giving Zuma a U8. All my children have beautiful hair. Anyway. Perfect for Nicole Kidman though, actually. She is so, yeah. Nicole. Okay.

Well, I'm lost and we'll be right back. Welcome back everyone and I hope you enjoyed your break. Now, Lazy, won't you tell us what's the first topic today? Oh, I'm going to send something in chat. Can I ask you a suggestion? I'm putting in to the chat various pick and mix items. Now, this is just a thought starter. Yeah. Obviously, if you have something else from a supermarket pick and mix that you know,

this can include nuts, health food items. But if it comes in a pick and mix bin, that's what we're deciding on today. Pick and mix. Whoa, some of these I have never seen or heard of before. You know the pick and mix? Yeah, I know pick and mix. You know pick and mix.

Matt, do you know pick and mix? Yeah, well you pick and mix. You know pick and mix. Matt, do you know pick and mix? Yeah, well you pick and mix. Well, yeah. You got it. At the supermarket where they have all those boxes, clear plastic boxes. Yeah. Tubs. I've never had a local, like none of my local supermarkets have ever had the pick and mix.

Pick and mix. And when I was, I spent some time with my mom recently and we went to a supermarket I went grocery shopping with her and these like random supermarket in Hastings had a like half an aisle of pick and mix Wow yeah you have to go to the suburbs for the pick and mix yeah just candy though just can't no no we'll do nuts and we'll do various items. Okay. So, also can I say, when I was in Rye recently down in the peninsula. It's so good. Yeah, sorry. When I was in Rye recently on the peninsula.

Rye? Locals call it ra. You know how I grew up there, right? Yes. That Woolworths was one of the most chic, well-appointed, wealthy person Woolworths I've ever been into. Maybe it is the most profitable Woolworths in the country or in the state. Shut up.

Yeah. Because of how much they do over summer because of all the fucking tourists. Oh my God. Yeah. It is, there was not a single item out of stock. Everything was replenished, full. The lights were all on, unlike my local, where they have to turn them off to save money.

And we'd wander around in the dark, hoping that we're picking up creamed corn. Sometimes it's sweetened condensed corn. Oh God. Anyway. Yeah. But I can't believe that makes a lot of sense. Yeah.

So my brother worked there for many years and one of my best friends, Jess, worked there for many years. Oh, another friend. At the Woolworths in Rath? Yeah, in Rath. And I never did. No. You're And I never did. No, you're also a bar. Actually what I, for some reason,

was always fascinated by is my brother worked in like the meat department. I bet he did. Sorry? I bet he did. So inappropriate. Wow. What?

You know my family listened to this podcast. Oh my god. Sorry? I bet he did. So inappropriate. Wow. What? You know my family listen to this podcast. Oh my god. Your father doesn't listen. No, he cannot. I also just say I bet he did because he's a surgeon. Okay. Not because of his meat.

Because of his cutting. Because I'm sure he knows how to butcher an animal because he butchers people for a living. Oh my God. You know what I mean? That's what I meant when I said he did. That's where he cut his teeth. Anyway, he, um, used to get like a little bonus on his pay. Well, he did. Oh, bonus.

And it was like danger pay because. Cause of the meat slicer. Yeah. Cause like that part of the supermarket is more dangerous. So he's got like danger pay in his paycheck. Danger pay, my god. Imagine getting danger pay and it's from Woolies. You deserve danger pay for that pleaser you're trying to wear.

Yeah, I'm going to charge an extra like 2%. Yeah, they should really give danger pay to the people in the fruit and veg, right? Because notoriously, the grapes are very hazardous. Super slippery. Really? If you step on grape. Yeah, you go flying.

You go flying all the way down to the deli aisle and into the meat slicer directly. Straight shot. When a grape explodes and you're full. That's why they put them in those locations. Yeah, it makes me feel a bit sick when you step on. Like you're crushing an insect pretty carefully. Who would buy purple grapes

sorry why why you to go out the sea like the red yes the red grape the globe yeah you've got green seedless grape right there but green aesthetically doesn't look good on a charcuterie. Oh, bitch, that is the worst when you've got fabulous cheese, crackers, dips, and then you have to suffer through purple grapes. Give me green grapes. I think green grapes look a bit Play Lunch to me sometimes. Yeah, take me back. Well, yeah, I've literally been buying those grapes for Play Lunch.

Not mine. Yeah. My other, you know been buying those grapes for play lunch, not mine. My other, you know? Your mother and the other. Yes, that's right. Yeah, the other sometimes requests the purple grapes, but they have to be seedless. They are seedless ones. Oh, so you've been whining about nothing.

I think they just like to switch up. Also, you don't believe that they are really seedless if they're not green. It's like, I need to be able to hold this up to the light. Correct. And personally, of course I do. Of course I do. I've recently been feeding segments to the other.

You know, you've got to check first. I didn't check the first time. It was a whole thing. Oh my God. I was in trouble. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to kill that other. Yeah.

It was like, there's a hard bit. Started crying. You know how it is. Oh my god, I was in trouble. Oh. Yeah. Trying to kill that other. Yeah, it was like, there's a hard bit. Started crying. You know how it is. Oh my god. So you've never had a cherry before in your life, I suppose. Oh, well, no, I know what I'm going in for with a cherry. Yeah, well, you do the lychee. Or nectarine.

So you get over it. I mean, it's in the name. They're stone fruit. They're like, you know, at the center at what lies beneath, but with grapes, like, it's a mystery. I don't know which part it's going to be in. You can't like eat around it. You have to like eat the grape and then spit out the seed.

That's what you do with a cherry. Yeah. But you know that it's so simple. It wouldn't like break the pip if you bit into it or you can like gnaw it off. You could chew through the seed of a grape. Yeah. Yeah. That makes it better.

Yeah. And it would be unpleasant though. I think it's annoying, like seeds in grapes are annoying. They're small enough that it's, yeah, it's harder to spit out than a cherry. Yeah. But you know what? Spitting out a little grape seed, that's chic. That's actually not bad.

So I was thinking, sorry, we will get back on track. That was the first time for everything. No, go on Diva. I was, okay, so like, I have a performance coming up. And I was thinking about doing, this is going to come out after that performance. Mr. Oogie Boogie? Sorry everyone. Maybe I should. Oogie Boogie. Sorry everyone. Maybe I should do Oogie Boogie.

Anyway, but I want to do this like, like slutty like sex number of like all these like slutty songs cut together. But I was thinking about ending it with Superpower Bitch by Kim. Yeah. And you know how she's like, I'm Superpower Bitch, I can make you cum. I'm Superpower Bitch, spit you out like gum.

I was wondering, wouldn't it be so like, and my favorite thing in performing is like slamming a table or like commanding attention from the crowd. What if I could have a seed planted in the crowd that I went up to and spat on after like spit you out like gum. Are you going to spit gum on them or something that looks like gum? Something that looks like gum onto their face and no one else in the crowd knows. But they gave me consent beforehand. Yeah, that's hot. How hot is that?

Wait, what's the, what's the event? The event is Zelda Moon. Spot number at Molly's. Spot number on a Sunday. Saturday. Serve. number on a Sunday. Saturday. Serve, serve on a Sunday. No, it's Saturday. You can't spit on faces on a Sunday.

That's the day of rest. Yeah, that's right. Anyway. I mean, listen. Yes. Why not? I'm into it. I would love it though if you had someone planted

in the crowd and they were chewing gum and then you like grabbed the gum from their teeth and stretched it and then chewed it for the rest of the song. Yeah. Yeah. You don't know me. There is that time where I took my, um, my team at work to a drag show, not knowing who was performing and the performer was a burlesque, um, performer

and like had a whole number about gum and she was chewing gum. And then she like blew was blowing bubbles and then she like put it in someone in the audience's mouth and then she took it back and then she ended by sliding it into her pussy. And I thought, wow, this was a really inappropriate thing to bring my work team to. And then you said, I gonna spit come out. Yeah. Can I say, being at this show last night, I'm not trying to blow up this person's spot, but there was a drag queen on with me. Yeah. And she did a little bit of this hand waving like, like why aren't you screaming for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we need to get rid of that.

Oh, you don't want like, give me energy now. You get one. Yeah. In my opinion. I think there's too much of this like, now scream for me. I just like, don't tell me what to do. Yeah, no, I see that.

Just like, if they're gonna scream, they're gonna scream because you did something good, not because you went, uh. Like one is fun. Yeah, I think that. Just like, if they're gonna scream, they're gonna scream because you did something good, not because you went, uh. Like one is fun. Yeah, I think that's fair. I think the exception might be maybe a burlesque performer because sometimes the style of the burlesque is like slow and moody,

and then if they're like doing a reveal, like when you're watching the show, you're not sure how many reveals, which is the big reveal. What's the bit you're meant to woo for? And sometimes it helps in the audience to have a bit of a cue and be like, and now get ready, I'm about to something, whatever. Like a signal when it's super playful and self-aware of like, yeah, when it's cheeky, do this unless you give me what I want.

But when it's like, why aren't you cheering? Yeah, agreed. Too much of it is very annoying. A DivaTronic diva hasn't really walked through her number yet and has all these empty gaps with no quarry and no nothing. And then she's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, like cheer because I'm just standing here. Yeah, until the next verse begins.

Yeah, no, that's not it. Yes. Yeah. Also, these divas were like, this bitch was actually doing stunts. Yeah. And it was like, I was like, you don't need, they're going to cheer for you. That time will come. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You're building to it. But right now, just let it be. You don't need them cheering the whole time. No. Let the show happen. Yeah. Anyway, my pick from the Pick and Mix. Pick and Max.

Is Soy Crisps. Soy Crisps. Yeah. Explain to the audience what a Soy Crisp is. So I, it's like a star shape, but elongated. It's a star extrusion, like Play-Doh. Like when you're playing with Play-Doh. Yeah.

And cut it off. So it's like this kind of licorice stick shape, but it's, I don't know what it is, but like biscuit form soy? I think it's like a soy slurry that's pushed through an extruder to look like a star and then seasoned to within inch of its line. Oh baby, there's so much soy slurry that's pushed through an extruder to look like a star and then seasoned to within an inch of its life. Oh baby, there's so much surface area on that star shape. Yeah, I love the flavoring on those. I actually love them, but now that you said slurry...

I don't know why you had to say slurry. I think I've changed my mind completely. Get rid of them. They're trash. Well, how else would you explain a mixture? Well, sadly, there is... I don't think there is another way. No. But they are so delicious. They're so delicious.

Barbecue? I mean, I love like chili and lime. Oh, like that version. Yeah, I like chili and lime. Yeah, so delicious. Even like original soy crisp. It's true. And such a satisfying touch.

Even without the powder coating, it's still delicious. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but if I had to pick a candy treat, your image has sparked my memory of that. Um, like the tiny fruits. Oh, those tiny candy chips. Super hard shell, like candy that explodes into dust. Yeah, like sugar candy.

Yeah. It is actually just dust pressed together. It's very strange. But they have like a lacquered outside. I think they look really cute, but I don't think it's the tastiest. And it's a banana. It's an apple. There's a blue one.

And they're, God, I love, I remember. The bananas are great. They're just, yeah, they're just so neat and tidy. The bananas, that shape and that, oh, and. And they're like, yeah, they have the... They almost feel like your teeth are not gonna be able to break them. Mm, but then when they do, oh, you did it. You won. It's a victory in every bag.

Yes. Yeah. But yeah, the... Oh, God, they're good. I remember getting them... There was a vending machine, not a vending machine, but one of those twist toy gumball machines with those inside. And it was like, I don't know, 20 cents.

And you'd put in 20 cents and then it would come out with... It would just drop a handful of them into the shoe. And that... Not in today. And you have to put your hand underneath so that it'll just fall onto the floor when you open the little gate thing. And you're like, what kid would like,

what parent would let their kid just like go up to a thing that a thousand other kids have pressed their hands into and just eat something unpackaged out of a vending machine? Once you have a child and you know how infrequently they wash their hands and how many things they touch. Ew. It's insane. I was gonna say my sister who is a teacher, but a scientist as well,

just spends her life being incredibly ill because kids are so- Oh, you just get germs, continuous cycle of germs. But there's never a time where it lets up. She's been in the industry for years now. And I thought that eventually as a teacher, you just would have like an immune system of like steel. But like the kids are just always inventing new and different. That's right.

Meningococcal. Because they swap it around amongst each other on the playground. Yeah, it's just a breeding ground. Yeah, it's mutating and like, yeah. And they dig as well. They uncover like... Into their noses. around amongst each other on the playground. Yeah. And so it's- It's just a breeding ground. Yeah, it's mutating and like, yeah. Absolutely. And they dig as well. They uncover like-

Into their noses or- No, in the ground, you know, like they're centuries old bacteria that's- Oh. Not around anymore. Yeah. From the arctic ice, you know. Oh my God, just sidebar. I don't know if you guys have been through Fitzroy North recently.

But they are getting a new playground at the Fitzroy North Primary School. It looks so strange. It looks incredible! What? Is it an adventure playground? It's an adventure playground. I was actually shocked by it. It's amazing. I thought it was too much.

I grew up with like natural playgrounds. Yeah. Like, you know, logs and trees all kind of like cobbled together to make like some sort of natural play space or whatever. But this one at the North of the Tri-Risk is so strange. It's like these giant pine beams, just like- No, they're like trunks of trees. I know, they're full trunks and they've just like made these like cages.

Yeah. The cages go inside. Child cages. Yeah, but like, you know, back in the 90s and 80s when they used to make playgrounds out of wood, before it was like the metal fiasco, like it's a return to form and they've made a giant, yeah, cage, midsummer looking thing. It's like a pyre. Yeah.

But then... Wicker Man. Yeah, it's very Wicker Man. Yes, killing me won't bring back your goddamn honey. But then in the second story of this like ship or thing is like a whole story off the ground. Oh, I love that. That's really high. Everything is so unsparing and fabulous and dangerous that I'm like,

God, are we getting back to good playgrounds? That's cool. Is it because it's attached to a Steiner school or something? Yeah, I think it is just like a hoity-toity inner-north school. So they're able to kind of- And yet you don't like it, Matt. No, it was too much for me. I was like, it was just the, yeah, it looked like a log cabin from the turn of the century.

But it's not just that there's like a little flying fox, there's like a little chain area. And they've made a whole new like fence for the school out of flocks. Is it like where the lost boys live in the movie Hook? Yes, it's hook coated. Oh my God, I'm going there. They're going to throw green goo at each other. Yes, bangerang. It's in...

I was gonna say if there's a cage with children, they must be inspired by J.Lo's halftime show. Put your daughter in the cage. You gotta put your daughter. That sounds amazing. But also the... I love that song. That song? That...

Put your daughter in the cage. Did you see that video of JLo recently? Oh. Every time we talk about someone on the street. What? She's gonna host the VMAs? Or the AMAs or whatever? Well, which one?

American Music Awards. AMA. Yeah. She's going to host. Um... And then... She's just performing at Pride with Troye Sivan. Really?

Yeah. They're like the headliners. Are you ready? Yeah. Excuse me, I love your outfit. Oh, you guys love your outfit. What do you do for a living? What do you do for a living?

What do you do for a living? I smoke positive eating kind of... A singer? What's your name? And I'm like, really? Do you like her by your job? You have an amazing outfit. So for viewers, Jennifer Lopez is walking down the street.

Someone says, what do you do for a job? And she's like, I'm a singer. And what's your name? Jennifer. And she's your name? Jennifer. And she looks horrified. It's so good. Wait, is it not a setup? Like genuinely the person is like, I don't know.

How could that possibly be? But if it's not a setup, But I mean, the string of videos like this, like with the house, I used to live here. Oh yeah, that's right. My name's Jennifer. I don't know. Oh, did you see the footage from Katy Perry's tour show? I saw one clip of her dancing confused. She was holding a light. Dancing confused. But I wish everyone would just back off.

They can't cancel the tour before she gets here. She's full of love. Are you going? So I haven't got tickets yet, but I think we need to go. I think we can expense it as like a tax write-off. Are they doing research for our professional careers? Adjustable pricing or whatever? I don't know, but I checked a couple of weeks ago and there were still tickets. There were still tickets a couple of weeks ago and there were still tickets. There were still tickets a couple of weeks ago. Wait, you'd go, so you'd both go to Katy Perry and not go to Gaga?

Yeah. I, you know what? I haven't committed to going to Katy Perry, but you know, the thing that I hate about going to concerts is I don't want to be surrounded by people. And I feel like that's going to be. None of them will be more obnoxious than me, dear. But I feel like that'll be safe at the Katy Perry concert because we'll have like, you know, a 30 meter berth around us. Yes. But when I checked the other week and there were still tickets available,

ha ha, they were like $500. $500? Good God. But I think we should go. Do you know what's funny though is is people like dogging on Katy Perry for this live performance, which does look dogshite matrix. Like it looks bad. She's wearing a bikini that's made out of motherboards.

It looks like she's Spikid 3. Game over. Yeah. But she she also gave us one of the most incredible Vegas residency shows that has ever existed. So it's like, I don't know, you can be forgiven because you gave us that giant toilet with giant poos coming out. Yes. She did do that.

I'm just like that. It's kind of like not being topped. Yeah. Sorry. Like, I just, I'm like, I don't know that. I don't know. It's kind of like not being topped. Yeah. Sorry? Like I just, I'm like, I don't know that. I don't know. Nothing could be better than the Vegas show.

Is that what you're saying? I just like, I'm like, I don't think I've seen anything better than that. Like visuals out of that show. You were describing to me a world where you couldn't be topped. Horrified. Couldn't be topped.

Couldn't be topped. Which pick and mix? Pick and mix. Okay, so my pitch is the barbecue cluster. Barbecue cluster? Are you familiar with this? Same more. I don't even know it. It's like, it's a corn-soy product. It's about the size of, I don't know.

This is the American in you, just obsessed with corn. Corn! Has it got corn? We need corn maize. Corn. Has it got corn? We need corn maze. Can we cluster some more corn? It's about the size of like 1 1-18th of a basketball. What the fuck? Oh my god.

It's like a barbecue cluster. Why are you measuring everything against basketballs lately? How would you explain that? 1 1-18th of a basketball. What is it? Girl, no? Barbecue? Girl, no. Barbecue cluster.

I still like the ones that are just actually corn. Like, oh, like the... Oh. With some dusty flavoring over the top. How does corn take so many forms? I mean, it's just such a versatile food. But I think corn was... It can be slurry.

It can be anything. Cream. On the cob. Have you seen that video of the guy interviewing the boy? It's corn. Yeah. It's a big lump with knobs. It's got the juice.

It's got the juice in it. That's probably my favourite part. Well, the kid makes some good points. He does make some good points. I don't know how to explain this cluster better, but it's real good. Okay. I'm very surprised that you're both choosing savouries. I know.

Looking at all of this brightly coloured sugar. And you know the sugar's made from corn, right? Well, not in Australia, but the corn story in America is that the corn or the farming industry was like vastly, vastly subsidized by the US government and allowed to flourish. They needed to find a use for corn. Yeah, monoculture. It'll be the end of us, except for the fracking.

What about the rings though? I used to love the rings. The ring? They look like jewelry. Another ring was made in secret. The rings and the candy necklace both were a great early exposure to brightly colored trashy accessories, you know? Yeah, it's true.

I do love the ring. It's a gummy. That's a thing though. Gummy ring, because it can stretch onto any finger. You can put one on every single finger. It's like the more femme version of the cheesels on the tips of the hands. Yes. Oh, they don't fit all the way down your finger.

My petite fingers. Oh my Lord. Well, here's the thing about gummies, though. They just take a lot of different forms, but I'm like, you can't fool me. You're all the same. I, those gummy rings would make my fingers so sticky, though. Oh, well, you couldn't sign an autograph.

It's almost as bad as when you eat a salad. A ring pop, however, I mean that does make your hand incredibly sticky. But it looks so fab. It does. Yes. It's only sticky if you emulsify the sugar with your disgusting spirit. Now what else am I going to take enough to eat it? Spiffed. Yeah. What else am I going to take enough to eat it? Oh, very good. What do you think about this?

Yeah. Strawberry and cream. Yeah. Loki, that's my fave. Like if I actually were to get mixed up. Do you bite the strawberry off and then you eat the cream separate? I used to do that. I think these days, you know.

There's no time. I just pop the whole thing directly into my mouth and head straight to the toilet. Yeah. Exactly. Just to count the tarantulas again. Indeed. Is that what you call it? But can I ask what is the deal with these bananas?

Count the tarantulas. I have to count the tarantulas at least twice a day. I just don't feel right. Oh, that's quite irregular. Foam bananas and foam shrimps? Why is the word foam there all of a sudden? Well, you know what? The banana texture is not one that is repeated

anywhere else in candy culture. And I love the banana texture. I love the banana texture too, but I've never heard it called foam. Foam. But that is an app description. Expanding foam. It does feel like it's just a whipped gummy, right? It's just aerated. That's why it's gone to a pick.

Do they keep you cancer? Yes, I believe so. But it doesn't have quite the same squishiness. You think that's just because of the whipping? Yeah, the whipping. Worth the risk. Snakes can go fuck themselves. Have you talked about any chocolates? Well, go ahead. I just wonder if there's any of the chocolates. No, because bullets are in here and licorice is foul, so no, we're not doing that. Hershey's Kisses is cute but fiddly, you gotta unwrap all that silver stuff.

Also, American chocolate is the worst. I was never a huge fan of the freckles. I love a freckle, because I love sprinkles. I do remember, actually, as a child licking the, like, hundreds and thousands-y part and then making the freckles on your face, as in, like, pressing the multicolored... The dye. Yeah, so then you get, like-coloured, that's right.

But don't you feel betrayed when you lick off enough to cut through the sugar coating and then you realise there's chocolate underneath? It's chocolate. It's chocolate. No bitch, I can see the chocolate with my eyes as soon as I behold the thing, are you mad? But you know that it's like candy covered chocolate, but it's covered. Only one side is covered.

Chocolate and chocolate. They're served together. Yeah. Eat it whole. Eat it whole. Eat it whole. Eat it whole. The only other contender I would say is the chocolate coated pretzels.

What? Oh God. Matt, that's so rogue. Wait, what did he say? Chocolate coated pretzels. I don't think about eating a whole. Chocolate coated pretzels. Have you tried them?

I have, of course, but I just, a pretzel, I think we need to give up. No? You don't want a pretzel. Germany lost the war, darling. Get rid of them. I think a chocolate coated pretzel. Germany lost the war, darling. Get rid of them. I think a chocolate coated pretzel could definitely be good, but it needs to be very fresh. Like the minute it's even 10% stale, disgusting. I have no time for a chocolate treat that you hold and by the time you've finished eating

it, maybe two bites, it's melted onto your fingers. Melted in your mouth, not in your hand. Yeah, thank you very much. Eminem's already solved this problem with a candy coating. Yep. No, I agree. Eminem the rapper song? Do you think he's gay? I...

I just want to know if a person's gay. Eminem? Yeah. I remember a photoshopped image of Eminem fucking Britney Spears. Oh! Which, yeah, what a sight to behold. But like that is one of the first like porno images I ever saw as a child. Really?

Yeah. It's like forever embedded in my brain. It was like on a car. Anyway. What? On a car? Yeah! On like the bonnet of a car.

Which I think... Wow. Don't car bonnets like... That's a bold choice. If you stand on them or whatever. Or not if you're Britney and it's the 90s. Okay, true. Anyway, it wasn't real. Some fabulous actor and some other actor. Playing Shady.

Yeah. Anyway, Matt, any other pick and mix option? I love a rough. A rough? You know, like love a rough. A rough? You know, like a coconut rough. Coconut rough? But in like a lump, in a kind of irregular lump. Like a rough lump. It has the same melting problem

that Zelda was talking about though. I don't like a coconut rough because it's too much like, I know it's a nut, but it's really getting adjacent to putting fruit in your chocolate, which I'm not down with at all. I mean, listen, I'm not, I think I'm starting to get to an age where I really appreciate coconut in something.

Just a shredded coconut. Oh, it's Javan. Oh, coconut, Ralph, I see it now. No, I don't want that. That's gonna melt in my fingers. What about this? What about this? The sherbet bonbon.

No, I don't like that. Yes. I love that. I'm into the sherbet bonbon for sure. I just, I think the event of the pastel color where they're just like, there's a blue one, there's a red one, there's, you know, it's like marketing, it's fabulous.

Like the consistency is so all over the place because it's like sometimes it's snappy taffy and sometimes it's like a gooey stuff. Yeah, I like it when it's chewy and then you get the sherbet in the middle. And with the combination of the colours as you say. God, that's good.

Yeah. And it's wrapped but in paper so you know, that's good. A waxed paper. A waxed paper is fun because you get to like pull the little ends and untwist it. And the branding where it says bomb. Yeah. That is good. I don't enjoy the sensation of like sucking on anything and and then like... So, gauche, isn't it?

It's true. It's gauche to some. Powder? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Powder? Inside? Charlie would like it. It doesn't stay powder for long because of your wet mouth, you see?

Yeah, but like... You get the like slightly fizzy sensation. You don't inhale at an inopportune moment and choke to death. We have access through each of you, the three of you, to the minds of children. What do you think are your, Zelda in your case, your niece and nephew, your child, Bay Park, and your child, Uber driver man. What do you think their favorite candies are? Go. Each of you gets one select.

My child is in a big Zappo phase. Like the individually wrapped little Zappos? Individually wrapped grape or strawberry Zappos. He likes me to give them to him wrapped so that he can do the unwrapping. Unboxing is what they call it in his jokes. He loves it. Amazing. And does he suck on it?

He chews. He chews it, yeah, but not like super fast. I think he's like working out how to savor it at the moment. Yeah, he likes it so much that I was looking at a bunch of flash for potentially getting a tattoo in the future and came across one that was the Zappo like writing with the like little boxing glove punching in and a little bit of juice coming out. And he was like, yes, mama, get that one. That's so good.

Get that tattoo. I was like, really? Am I going to be branded by the Zappo court? I mean, that would get that one. That's so good. Get that tattoo. I was like, really? Am I going to be branded by the Zappo cork? I mean, that would be pretty funny. Okay. That's a great, so like grape. I love that grape is infiltrating Australian culture. Yeah. Because while we spend a lot of time talking about real grapes, why would we ever do that?

Yeah, no, absolutely. Artificial grape flavor is my fave, so I like to think that I've passed that down to the other, you know, so that he's picked it up. Yeah. And do you know what color represents artificial grape? Not green. No, it's purple. It's 100% purple. It's purple.

Why is chicken green? What color would you have it be? Cheese and onion is already taking yellow. Yeah. And red is barbecue. I'm sorry. And what if you're a chip line that wants light and tangy and chicken? Light green. Light and tangy is Brad.

Whereas chicken is more of a deep, sombre, like paint your drawing room green. Yeah. Your drawing room? Yes. I painted my drawing room chicken green. Yes. As you can see. Chicken flavouring.

Chicken chip green. Even in like, um, like Maggi chicken noodles, they'd be like green flakes. I love that. Mm. Raaam. Chicken noodle, yeah. Okay, Zelda. What do your niece and nephews love?

They... So like when we have like, movie night, which... Baby, every night I go to my brothers' movie night, I just feel like they watch a movie every night. Which doesn't really make it movie night, which sounds like a once a week event, anyway. Agreed, agreed. Every night is movie night.

Well, yeah, but you can't call it movie night. It's just every night. It's just nighttime. The sun's gone down, put on a night. It's just every night. It's just nighttime. What would you have that be great? The sun's gone down, put on a movie. It's Moana again. Yeah. The thing that I resent about your nephews is their terrible taste in movies.

Baby, I had to watch Hop again. Speaking of James. What the hell is that? Like an Easter movie. Can I ask? Why are you not watching Jennifer's Body? Come on. Well, what I want to know is like, you can like, and tell me, you tell me parents and

uncle, you can like, like they don't have like, you know, you've seen the film Room, right? With Alison Brie? No, Brie Larson. Stuck in a room. Stuck in a room. Just like, yeah, that little kid. It's always movie night.

And they like, you know, like he does, he calls like the roof sky and he calls, you know, she just tells him weird fucked up names for things because he has no concept of the outside world. Why are you telling your kids about Hop? Well, yeah, yeah, that's right. You can tell them that. Like, oh, we're watching triplets of Belleville. Yep. Again.

I found that they get contaminated by other people's poor taste at school. And then they have to keep up. That is true. Which is such a shame. Yeah. But can't you just be like, we don't have that? Well, no, because then there's a really small window I've seen of like, where you can control the media and then you can't control it anymore.

No, but you like- Even they- Basically, if they get an iPad too, then they're going to get on YouTube kids or whatever. And then it's like, it's all over. What if you just like the movie we're watching tonight is Kiki's delivery service. And that's just how it's going to be. Yes. I'm the parent.

But they're used to the choice now. Yeah. Who gave them the choice? Society. Yeah. Big mistake. Yeah. My children are going to have no concept of that. Who gave them the choice? Society. Yeah, big mistake. Yeah.

My children are gonna have no concept of that. My child took Kiki's delivery service before he was fully able to articulate his choice. So that's the way to do it. Is you gotta do it when they're still at that age. Matt, you can probably get in on this way. You just put them in the chair and they don't have the physical ability

to get themselves out of the room. You know, that's the time. I like that. Yeah. Just put all the mirrors out. That was the good thing about videos. It's like you had a video. That's the only one you had. It's no choice.

But you can't just lie. The only time you choose is when you're at the video store. Yeah. And that took a long time. And that was, you could really vet their choices and be like, sorry, this one, I don't like the look of it. Yeah. You're not watching Monkey Bone with Brendan Fraser. It says on the back here, it's very one, I don't like the look of it. Yeah. You're not watching monkey bone with Brendan Fraser.

It says on the back here, it's very spicy. You wouldn't like it. I guess we'll just have to hire diner writers again. Yeah. But like, what do you mean? You can't just tell them like we're watching this tonight. Cause my dad would be like, I don't care. We're watching this.

Cause that's what I am watching. You are watching. It's a precedent that you just got to start it, set it up from the start. Yeah. Otherwise, but your child, Matt, am I right? Has never seen a movie. No, she has never seen anything. She's, she's just turned two and we've had no screen time so far, which is a

pretty big achievement. I feel like these days. Um, yeah, we were like also on the verge of burning out this week as well. And we were like, why are we feeling so tired and, um, depleted? And then we realized that we just have had no break for two years. So I think it's a good, I think it's a good achievement. But yeah, uh, I think we'll introduce a little bit, you know, going forward, but maybe like 10 minutes here and not a movie like so far.

I think at that age, they just don't have the attention span for it either. Like there's a reason that episodes of Bluey are seven minutes long, you know, because really until you're a bit bigger, like even 20 minutes, that's too much. How can they focus for that long? You know? But we were talking about pick and mix. Oh wait. Yeah. What is the candy?

What candy? Did you say Zelda? Movie night. Oh, okay. You were on your screen about movie night, not actually being movie night. Moving one, not a week. Um, yes. So they on your screed about moving out, not actually being moving out. Moving one out of me. Yes, so they would be like a bowl selection.

And like it's gotten to the point where it's like, now I'll put five Maltesers in each bowl, two snakes, two, because otherwise they'll fucking lose it. Yeah, yeah. There you go, baby! Yeah, it's gotta be even. It's a whole bag. It's gotta be fair.

I can get you one more if you really are gonna die without it, you little delight. Stop at one, everyone. Just stop at one. One is enough. That's right. Make a weird single child. Yes.

Mother and I went to the Cape this weekend and looked for antique furniture. Absolutely. Exactly, that's right. Then you can really shape them into the person you want them to be. Whoa! I was reaction, one more teaser, them to be. One more teaser.

The rest of the bag was mothers. Sorry. Go ahead. But do they discriminate between the offering? I feel like the biggest hit is popcorn. Yeah. Corn. We could do corn. Yeah. Come on. Like we could do, yeah. But like we could do movie night and just do the popcorn. And while it would, there'd be some feedback about it.

If the popcorn is there. Wait, how many? Okay. Just sorry. You're telling me from movie night. Yeah. The kids are getting popcorn. So there'd be like, probably like, snakes.

Like a mixed lolly bag. So there'll be some snakes, some strawberry and cream, maybe a few bananas. May, yeah, that's probably the selection. Wow. So they're getting like savoury. These kids are so privileged. Entree and mains and dessert all in one. Yeah. Pretty good. Every night?

No. Well, every night there's movie night, which is every night. Well, on Wednesday night, we know Wednesday night is go-kart night. So on Wednesday night, it's go-kart night. Friday night is movie night. Yeah. And then Saturday night, I assume is going to Katy Perry night. And, um, it's when Uncle Zelda comes over.

But I mean, that is the other thing. Obviously all the times that I'm there or like a guest is there is an event, slightly more of an event. So like it'll be a movie night. But I don't know, every time I'm there it's a movie night. I stayed there for a week recently, it was a movie night. It doesn't sound like it's a movie night. It sounds like it's you being forced to watch a fucking hop night. I know. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to say it'd be one thing if they were helping to expose you to all of the many films that you have not seen. But if it's just Hop seven times in a row, I don't know about that. For one day you're so sheltered.

Yeah. I think I would like, okay, here's my pitch for raising children and then Matt, you can tell us about your child's taste. But I think I would say like, Give us your advice. What would work with raising children? Obviously I'm not telling parents how to, you know, parent, but I would just say, we can watch any movie you want, but we can never watch it again.

One and done. One. Wow. And then we can watch it again in a year. I got up to 20 times watching Shrek. That was my record. Your child has been deprived and meanwhile you're supping down Shrek. When I was like 10 I'd watch it 20 times. Somebody once told me. Oh my god. No, no good. I mean, if you'd said that about Princess Bride, I'd be like, yes.

And many more times. No, no, that was scary. That screaming at the end. Oh my God. You know, when he's being tortured. Yes. And it's like echoing across the whole world. Yeah.

That was scarring for me. They're draining his life force. I know. So horrible. What about the shrieking eels though? That was pretty frightening too. The whole thing. Also Ross Savage.

I loved that boy. I was the same age. It's not creepy. But when he was in that Sega, no not Sega, Super Nintendo entertainment film. The Wizard. Oh, that brings me up. I was so in love with him.

Which worked. Which I was the same age, it wasn't weird. It wasn't weird. Just to reiterate. But Ross Savage was definitely my first crush. Or was it Fred Savage? Fred Savage. Fred Savage.

Ross? Ew. I think Ross Savage might have been a boy in my class at the time. You were the same age, so it's not weird. Yes, it was definitely not weird. But yeah, Fred Savage, what a cutie. He was cute. I'm going to look this up.

Fred Savage. The Wonder Years. Don't look up pictures of young boys, Zelda. He's an adult now. He was the same age. It's fine. He was also same age. It's fine. Oh right. He's also, he was in, um, gold member. Um, Matt, I'm guessing since your child is two and has not had any screen time,

they also are not eating a lot of sugar based candy. No, we haven't, we haven't, yeah, we haven't gone down that road. She loves fruit. Just one Ring Pop a week. She just, she's like, fruit is like her candy. She's like, wow, this is amazing. But recently over Easter, we gave her chocolate. And she's now, she's like, chocolate every day.

She says, she calls it chlock-let. And so- Amazing. She can't quite pronounce it. Real chocolate though, right? Not carob. No, no, no, not carob. Real chocolate. All right, fine.

We can continue. We gave her a couple of Easter eggs and she pretty much lost her mind. Like small, um, hollow eggs. Like not, not a, a choking hazard egg. God damn. She is like, like she's got so much ahead of her. I know she's, and, and that was like, she had like three and that's like the most sugar

she's ever had in her life. And she was really... Her brain must be exploding. It was a lot. It was, she was very... If you can't say it, you can't have it. Oh, that's so fun. It's so fun watching little kids get high on sugar.

They go crazy. Mental, yeah. And then just like screaming for the rest of the night. Like toddlers are already quite a lot like drunk people, but toddlers on sugar. Yeah. Oof. That is very entertaining.

It is like a full drug trip. It's like, yeah, they're like yelling, they're falling over. They get teary. It's incredible. Yeah. It was, it was too much. But I'm. I was a little bit exhausted today driving into the studio and, um, I was

listening to Shine by Vanessa Amorosi. That's nice. I started just hearing up. You can live with your life, you can live with your life. You can hit your head and you can drown in a hole. Oh my God. Wow. You can live forever. You can try.

Look around you. Everyone you see, everyone you know is gonna shine. No, no, no, no, you don't. I was like, she's such a good singer. Oh my God. Why is she so underappreciated? She is a good singer. She's incredible.

Next spot number. I was thinking about it for Big Gay Day in Queensland. I was like, I really just want to, I want an anthemic stadium spot number, but this feels like appropriate for me. Can I say that Big Gay Day was like, we need your tracks now. Oh, bitch. What is, it is not tonight. We have a scourge. We have a scourge.

They were like, we are going to make visuals. I was like, who said? But I was like, venues and people are like, I need it 38 hours before your show. And I'm like, no, you don't. Do you know what you're going to do when I get there with the track? Is you're going to plug it into the same DJ deck that would happen anyway. Like I get that it's more convenient for you, but it's not convenient for me. So I think they're going to, they're going to put the visuals together

specifically to the track. You can try. But no, absolutely not. Like I'm like, yeah, we just, it's like, we need to set a precedent here because I'm not doing that. I'm bringing my track. Also, I can't decide. Yeah.

Like I... If you think I've made the decision about what I'm performing 38 hours before I'm on stage, that's crazy. Wrong. I need to figure out whether I'm going to... Which wig can I revive for this? Right? I haven't even decided whether I'm going to... Which wig can I revive for this? Right? I haven't even decided whether I'm going to go to the gig. I'll tell you when I'm there.

Yeah. Okay, so two observations. One is what happened to Fred Savage's upper lip. And two, I've searched Ross Savage, and he appears to be a senior consulting engineer at Nexon Asia Pacific. And I'd like you to leave him alone. I found a few images of him with us. You know what?

White men have thin lips. Yeah, it just goes away when he smiles. Check out Ross Savage. Here he is in black and white. Ben Savage is the brother. And Ross Savage. Here he is in black and white. Oh, Ben Savage is the brother. And Fred Savage. But I think Fred Savage had some like, with the allegations. Oh, God. Really?

I think he just... Disappointing. Oh my God. I just found a GoFundMe for Ross Savage's Brain Tumor Treatment Fund. Jesus Christ. I wonder how they went. You've clicked too many times in the internet, Zelda. Yeah, let's not go down this hole too far. Let's um.

Hole? Rather hole. Um, we've been discussing Picamix for a long time now. You're right. What, what is the, what is the one? What is the one? Just make a decision. You're so right. You're so right. You're right. What, what is the, what is the one? What is the one? Just make a decision. You're so right.

You're so right. You're so right. Keep us in line. Yeah. I mean, I could go for the Sherbert bomb. I feel like that is a classic. I agree. Maybe exposure therapy.

It's the most exciting. We'll get used to the powdery inside. The powdery inside. Well, no, what, how about this compromise? Okay. You can change the inside to whatever you want. So moon Of the sherbet Yeah, okay. Well, there was this as you wouldn't get this in pick and mix, but that's why we're making a hybrid

but there was this like candy store in Mornington that I used to go to sometimes and they had on offer this like tube of liquid sugar in like red flavor, blue flavor and maybe green flavor, not chicken. That sweet ooze, I would squeeze from the top of the tube and then lick it off. Disgusting. So fucking disgusting. All the sands were there. Can we fill the... Sweet ooze? Yeah, can we put that in the center?

Yes, you can put that in the center. Yeah, that sounds good. Okay, now describe what we're putting in the bunker. Okay, so we've got a sherbet bonbon. Sure. Yeah, that has a wax paper that you must remove before eating your treat. Now you need to sup on the candy to soften it and layer by layer as your saliva does its work. No.

You're slowly uncut. No. The sickly ooze inside. Well, you're going to bite into it. Bite? Yes. You're such a little suck bit. Oh, I can't bite.

Sucking is out. So gross. Sucking is out. We're just chomping now. I mean, I didn't critique Bay's child, but like, you can't just chew on a fucking zapper. Oh my God. You gotta let him know that you suck on it in a lifetime. That's how you get cavities.

There's baby teeth. Who cares? They're all out in a few years anyway. True, true. Chomp away. Rehearsal teeth. They're just the practice ones. Yeah.

Okay, good point. You can suck and suckesal tea. They're just the practice ones. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Good point. You can suck and suck and suck and never get to the end of it. All right. Okay. Well, fabulous.

And with that, we'll be right back. All right. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone.

Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Death to everyone. Hello and welcome back. Suleyman, you're a listener. Now I would love to find out in honor of our guest which bisexual goes into the bunker. That is such a great question.

Now, I'm of course not familiar with any of them, so you have to fill me in. Yeah, tell us who's bisexual. Yeah. Um, Drew Barrymore? Famous bisexual. Mmm, Dochi. Oh, yes. Isn't it funny that Katy got her before she realized?

What? What? What did you just say? Katy got her on the album before Dochi realized that's a terrible move. I mean, I think for Dochi it's fine. Yeah. Also, that's a great song. It's good.

It's good. That's fun. It comes on and I'm like, this is great. Yeah. I didn't even know. It's good. That's fun. It comes on and I'm like, this is great. Yeah. I didn't even know. I've been listening to Doji, but I hadn't heard that she's on the Katy Perry album. Mm-hmm. Wait, is Kit Conner bisexual?

Kit Conner. Oh, my God. Greta Garbo, Frida Kahlo. Oh, yeah, Frida Kahlo's got to be out there. Evan Rachel Wood, Clive Davis. Jason Mraz, I remember when that happened. I was like, okay, well he's one of yours. But I would say, as we've discussed, there's kind of like a split of like the way that the bisexual diaspora splits, which is there is the same sex leaning bisexual.

And that is, and then there is the straight like hetero leaning bisexual. And they are two distinct flavors of bisexuality. Like a bisexual who is a woman who leans more towards women has a deep dark shame that she will also fuck a man. Whereas a bisexual Who leans towards men has a great and fabulous escape, which is that she can also fuck women Extreme rare case of like one for one.

A perfect split. Yeah. I don't know. To be honest in his Bay Park, I feel like you're the only, Oh, well apart from my mother, but I didn't really count her as bisexual. She's just doing it for attention. It's a fair. Not bisexual. Do you say she's damaged? Not bisexual. Yes.

You've just got trauma, babe. Wow. But you have dated men and dated women. Yes, for real. Yeah, for real. Not just for attention. Not just for attention. That's right.

Even when no one was looking, I still ate that pussy. Yes. If Bay Park eats pussy in the woods, is she still bisexual? That's right. If no campers stumble upon me, is it even camp? I don't know. You look up with those like white reflex in your eyes. I'm't know. You look up with those like white reflex in your eyes. I'm doing it.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think that I could claim being a 50-50 split truly. Like I think that most times, yeah, it's like you kind of, if you are, uh, like straight passing, then all of society is telling you it's just easier, babe, just be with guys, right? Like it's just, that's what is in front of you and that was the people that hit on you.

And if you're in mixed spaces or not, uh, overtly queer spaces, it's, you know, it's very tricky. And yeah, society is telling you that it's just easier to just be the hetero one. So even though I have had a number of like relationships with women as well as hookups with women, still overall in terms of the whole amount of people that I've had sex with there would be more men than women But when I've been with the women we've had a lot of sex in that time Because of you know, because it's better. You just don't need recovery. It's better It doesn't have to finish when it finishes. It just never finishes. So yeah, and then it's the next day Robbie's like can we have a shower now or what?

No, I just like, oh gosh. I'm exhausted. Let it end. I need to put some ice on my wrist, you know? Yeah, that's true. It can be exhausting. Yeah. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, I love Frida.

She's an iconic bisexual, but then also I'm seeing here we've got Alan Cumming. He's amazing. He sure is. Yeah. Josephine Baker, apparently, iconic, the little banana skirt. Since we didn't put the banana lolly in, maybe the banana skirt. I think Alan Cumming is interesting. I wonder, because I guess he is someone that reads as so gay. I think that's so fabulous though, that he's betwixt the two. I do love, I think the thing we need to kind of bring into the next, you know,

into 2025 is like gay seeming men, like being out about their bisexuality. Totally. That's so cool. Yeah. Yeah. Like we all joke, but we do support. We do support. Only on one day though.

Obviously. Obviously. I want to make that clear. Yeah. So, I do have a soft spot for Korra. From Legend of Korra. Yeah. Because, yeah, Airbender is a better series.

I do agree. Korra went for an extra season. Season one, rough. Season two, rougher. Season three and four, fucking incredible. Like I love that. And Cora's arc is so- I thought season one was good. I just like- I think the world building in season one is so deft and incredible for them to like switch it up.

Yeah, I enjoyed season one. I can't remember what I thought about season two, actually. It had a huge task on its hands. It did. But wait, is Cora bisexual? Is that why you're... Yeah. Oh.

Because she ends up, so like, well, yes, asterix. So like... I thought you were talking about Legend of Cora. Asterix is bisexual. Okay. What about Tintin? So, but Cora kind of ends up with Asami, and it was like a thing that like Cora and Asami, like the fans were rooting for it all along. And then at the end, they end up together and there's this like scene that mirrors the end of Airbender,

where like Ang and Korra, Ang and Korra, Aaron, Ang and, oh my God, Katara, kiss and then like pan into the sun or whatever. And like at the end of Korra, it's Korra and Asami, but instead of kissing, they just like, look. Oh, they just stare longingly at one another. But it's like one of those like, wow, this wasn't the time. I couldn't do it. Not on Nickelodeon. Yeah, yeah. It was like a Nickelodeon thing.

But there's a fabulous like edit where they do kiss and it's so cute. Oh, I remember Asami now. She's hot. Asami is hot. Dark red lip. Yes. Haven't made all the way through Quora. Asami is hot. I actually... Dark red lip, yes. I haven't made it all the way through Korra. It's so good. I know. I tried to get through it all, like, in one, when I was sick in Mexico.

And I made it through, like, season three. It's really good. All the start, like, the arc of Korra, the character, I love. And it's so, like, different to Aang and Aang's struggles. Um, like, I think that's really fun. I feel like her injury is really interesting and everything that kind of happens with that hero journey, like her realizing that in a more modern world, being the center of it as the Avatar is less impactful.

Like there's no one way to do it. And the way that it used to be done isn't the way that it can still be done because times have changed, which is, is really interesting. Yes. Oh, so good. Anyway, what a fabulous bisexual. And then there's like, I don't know, like Harley Quinn or whatever. And like, yeah, that's what I was going to say.

And Uma is traumatized. Or is Poison Ivy also bi or is she lezo? I mean, that definitely seemed like there was a thing going on between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy. Those two are, yeah. And item. Yeah. Depending on where you are in time and space.

Yes, of course. Which timeline? Yeah. It says here that Fergie is bisexual. Can we verify? Fergalicious definition, make them boys go loco. Yeah, that's it. She always talks about those boys going loco. Are the girls also going loco? Well, no, but you know, she has a different relationship with women. Is it the bit for the women when she sings while doing multiple cartwheels across the stage?

Oh! Yes! Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no! Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Famous bisexuals.

What about Lily Rose Depp? Mm. Mm. Famous bisexuals. What about Lily Rose Depp? Is she a bisexual or is she just dating a woman who she calls her boyfriend? Oh. What's the vibe? Lily Rose. That's interesting. Lily Rose Depp. Of Nosferatu fame.

Yes, I was an instant fan of her when she did that crazy kabuki ass flipping out. It's like, have more seizures, this is incredible. She's seizing and I'm, oh, so good. What, and Lindsay Lohan, kind of similar situation. Her and, what's her name? You know.

Yeah, where it's like, oh no, I'm not gay, but some of my boyfriends have vaginas. Yeah, is that the vibe? I feel like she was so yeah, Lindsay was ahead of her time It'd also be remiss of me to not say Deadpool obviously and then That's fine Ohhhh Yeah, yeah, yeah But whatever, I'm in comic Deadpool

And then like Yeah, comic Deadpool is fine. We can't be hating on comic Deadpool And um, Dakin Why do you think that they've cut out explicit Dick in hole from Deadpool? Um, well, I mean, it's classic bisexual behavior. Film Deadpool is just doing it for attention. Yeah. Yeah.

It does seem that way. Doesn't it? And like, you can do it for like, fun light attention. He just talks about dicks all the time, but yeah, that's right. I hate that. Oh yeah, not it. But you know what? There's obviously a lot of demoir rumours swirling around Hugh and Ryan and what their relationship is like and the nature of where they are.

During the filming of Deadpool, that's when Hugh decided to take the plunge and divorce Deborah. And maybe that was because they were having those like, you know, like, napsessions. I think that Hugh is jerking off to Ryan, but like, I don't think Ryan is going there. When maybe. Yeah. Like Hugh is like me with countless straight people in my life.

You know, like, oh, maybe one day Ryan will. Yeah, Ryan Reynolds does seem very hetero. Yeah, hetero. Like for all of his jokey, jokey, whatever, he just seems like such a straight man. Yeah. Unfortunately. We'll see. Time will tell.

I just don't think you can have a wife with such good hair and to be straight. You've raised a good point. Yeah. Yeah. Certainly that checks out, right? I think. Yeah. It's like a blanket of hair.

I'm drawing a blank. I don't know if there are any other bisexuals. I don't think there are any bisexuals. There aren't. Who are they? I mean Lady Gaga, Angelina Jolie, all of those. Angelina? Yeah. She's bisexual? I think I've also seen...

Apparently. Because I was looking, obviously, like the Lady Gaga law is like, yeah, in about 2010 or 2011, she was talking a lot about her bisexuality. And then since then, she's claimed no part of the LGBT, like she's like, I myself am not LGBTQIA+, but I am inspired by this community. Which makes me think that she's stepped back her claims of bisexuality. Yeah, which is weird, right? Was it just part of the press thing or is she doing that thing where it's like she's gotten engaged or married to somebody who is a man and is like, could you just, you know, ex-nay on the...

I don't know because it seemed like she of like let the trail go cold before she got with her husband or fiance. Yeah. But I don't know, I can't speak to it. But I also think that during that time, the Just Dance fame era, it seemed like she was like, I'm radical. And it was during that time of Katy Perry, I Kissed a Girl. Oh, God. Like...

Yeah. I mean, it's also like... Lisexuality. That's what I call it. Yeah. Truly. Wow. But I do think and fully support being one sexuality one day and being a different one

the next. Yeah. She could have been bisexual and now she no longer identifies as that. Yeah. And that's fine. It's a phase. Yeah. And that's fine. It's a phase. Yeah. Yeah.

Could be. I saw a lot of discourse around Jojo Siwa and her time in CBB UK. Where she's like, now I'm queer. And she was like, I'm changing my letter. I was the L and now I'm the Q. And I think that that's great. Yeah. I love Jojo Siwa.

She's in the bunker. She's great. She's in the Q. And I think that that's great. Yeah. I love Jojo Siwa. She's in the bunker. She's great. Is she in the bunker? Yeah. But I just, the world needs to give her a break. She's doing great. Oh, you can say that about Jojo, but not about Katie or Jennifer.

The world needs to give. Jennifer. Jennifer's already had her chance, but Katie, I have a soft spot for. She's such a dork as Malaukas. She's a d soft spot for, she's such a dork as Malochus. She's a dork. Yeah, she's a major dork. Jennifer will never, like Jennifer could give a shit. She's going to do her thing no matter what people say. And like, to, to, she just will never stop. She's like

steal. Whereas Katie, I feel is being like, you know, she can only take so much. She's a bit more of a gentle sell than Crone Jennifer Lopez. But like, I think it's it's more she just needs to like really lower her expectations for what the next decade holds. Yeah. And pivot. She needs a pivot. She needs a pivot. It can't, she can't be wearing a motherboard bikini. She needs to go and like develop a new like skincare line

and sell it on QVC. Like Jennifer. Yeah. She needs to kind of just soft launch a different career. I would be interested to see if she returned, like, skewed away from pop into more like, back to her like origin, like a bit more like Christian rock. But just like not attempting to be the next like pop diva with every album. I don't think it's, I don't see music for her. I think that time is past.

Okay. Yeah. You've had your fun, Katie. You had your fun. That's enough now. You danced on the mother toilet. Don't drink a bit of apple cider vinegar. Yeah.

That's good. Her and Orlando could do like a show. You know how he does, he's like adventuring and she could like... Does he? Yeah, he has like a wilderness... Oh, he's a rugged man. He's a rugged man show. So I think that they could do things together and it could be like a reality show would do so well for Katie. Yeah, I can see that.

Yeah, yeah. Like her and Orlando, their life, him taking her to like a giant know, a giant cliff and her being like, I don't want to go up. Well, she's been to space. Like Katie, you've been to space. Yeah. No, but that 11 minutes, she said, she said, I wished that I'd never been filmed. Oh, really?

Yeah. She hated it. Well, she hated the backlash, I think. Yeah. Yeah. She hated that other people hated it. The issue with Katy Perry, I've seen someone, is that like her brand was not calibrated to go to space

because if Paris Hilton went to space and people are like, wow that's crazy that you would spend that amount of money during like a global financial crisis or whatever, it just wouldn't be the case. She'd be like, I went to space. It was hot. It was hot out there, but it was so cold. And people wouldn't get like, she would like, they're like, obviously out of touch. Yes. You know what I mean?

Like no one would be like, Katie, you should know better. No one would be raising these questions, but because Katie is too receptive to the feedback, if she was like, yeah, poor, I'm going to space. Yeah. You are dealing with the global financial crisis. too receptive to the feedback. If she was like, yeah, poor, I'm going to space. You are dealing with the global financial crisis. That's not happening in my America. Yeah. Like I'm rich. Yeah. But like, because she takes so much like feedback, she has to then cop to it. But like, just like Gail isn't getting that Gail's like, I'm best friends with Oprah. Yeah. We live in space most of the time. Yeah.

I'm from space. Yeah. So as we chit chat, of course I'm filing through other options for bisexuals. In the big bisexual file. Yeah, open up the bisexual file. What did you call me? So there's Jadzia from Star Trek, which is like kind of, but that's like a very complicated

character. Jadzia? Jadzia is like... Oh, they're a fictional character. Oh, they're the actor or they're the character? No, no, no, a character. Okay. Yeah, yeah.

But she's like, it's like a whole lineage of like, it's like a slug alien thing that goes from like, from transsexual Transylvania. Yeah. Um, but there's that just to put that out there. Oh, Chad Zia, of course. There's Zina. Yeah. Well, Zina's Zina. Yeah. Yeah. Zina. Yep. That's good. Um, and then I've stumbled upon a picture of Shinji Okari, which is an interesting.

What? An interesting read, but I feel incorrect. I don't think Shinji is bisexual. He. He's just got daddy issues. Yeah. And he like, he's just traumatized guys. So we do need to make that distinction.

Oh, I wish. I'm happy to clarify that for anyone who needs it. I'll call my mom after this. But like Shinji has this like feeling of love and connection with Karu, but it's not like I never read it even as a teenager wishing there was anyone gay around. But I never saw that in Shinji. Did I see it in Karu? Absolutely.

But Karu is also like an angel there to kill everyone on the planet. So like, I don't know. Yeah, angels, they're hard to read. And I don't know, Karu did put his faggy little hand on Shinji's hand in that sauna. And the next day after I saw it in year six, I went to school and said to Zach Leontiadis, this hot guy at school. And I was like, do you think it's gay if I put my hand on your hand? And he was like, yes.

You're like, oh, me too. Just checking. Yeah, mate. Yeah. What the. Yeah, mate. Yeah. What the fuck? Oh, God. I think traumatized, not bisexual. Yeah, no, I think definitely traumatized in that instance.

Is Lucy Lawless bisexual? Sagrius. He's a fabulous bisexual. Oh, fromrius. He's a fabulous bisexual. Oh, from Hades. I just learned that Billy Joe Armstrong from Green Day is bisexual. That's interesting. Yeah, I also saw that. I walk a lonely road.

Oh, the only road that I know of. My Lord. Yeah, I mean, I kind of feel like there should be a bit more representation of male bisexuals, like you're saying. And like, that's a thing that should happen in general. But for me personally, it's got to be Frida Kahlo. And I will tell you why, even though she's not like contemporary, obviously.

So first of all, she's not quite. Bitch, what the fuck? That's good. I'm joking, I'm joking. She like represents both things, right? So in her like femme phase, it's all of the cultural representation of the kind of indigenous South American, Mexican culture

with the skirts and the ribbons, and it's quite high femme. And it's also a specific to her indigenous heritage, which is very cool and that she also seems to represent masculine even when she's doing the femme, aka the facial hair, but also that there's those classic photos from the 1920s where they're like family photos with her siblings and her parents and she's wearing a fucking three piece suit. That's so cool. With like a cane in her hand

and like a middle part and a serious face. And there are other photos of her in like button up shirts with ties and shit and like smoking cigarettes, which is very mask presenting for the time. Yes. Yes. And in like a culture and a time period where even women smoking cigarettes was like frowned upon. That was too butch in and of itself. She was just so like unashamed and like confident with it.

Yes, she just was very bold, even in the fucking twenties, about being like, well one day I wear a little peasant blouse and a beautiful long skirt with many colors. And the next day I wear a tan suit and I smoke a cigarette. You know, like, I just think that's really cool. Pretty enlightened actually. Yeah. And she had like a sort of open marriage situation and she had an affair with fucking Trotsky.

What an icon. So you're saying we, Frida Kahlo. I mean, I would be happy to just have that family portrait in the bunker. I mean, listen, true. You know? Can I just throw in a bone? Yeah.

What about if we put her in, but in this shape of a wounded deer? Well, that is pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Yeah, I do like the wounded deer painting. Yeah, self-portrait, but also a deer. Oh, yeah. Not a doe, notably.

Right? Iconic bisexual representation. Yeah. Okay. Por que no los dos? Frida Kahlo deer in the bunker. I love that. Lock it in.

Fantastic. Thank you so much. That was fabulous. Yeah. that. Lock it in. Fantastic. Thank you so much. That was fabulous. Yeah, we'll be right back. To the chemistry world Hexavalent chromium, hexavalent chromium, I'm Aaron Brockovich Those girls, they call me a bitch And there's children too But let me tell you about this sitch with the chemicals in the ground in the ditch Erin Brockovich

Is that actually from the musical? That we're writing yeah They're called boobs And they're letting you go to Cannes you say? Yeah yeah yeah Don't forget they're called boobs Boobs, boobs, boobs One that's a number of times I can't call from you and I know

Two that's the amount of divorces I had That sounds better than that six change operation musical B-O-O-B-S One that's the number of times I got a call from you and I know Two that's the amount of divorces I had B-O-O-B-S, B-O-O-B-S They call boobs Ed B-O-O-B-S, B-O-O-B-S Cut the BS, ooh, ooh, ooh They call boobs Ed, cut the BS That's B-O-O-B-S

Welcome back listener Listen it's time You didn't think you'd be listening to that did you? Are we recording? I can't see anything. I have this self-heating eye mask Yeah, so listeners sent in have self-heating masks. From their shop. Who knew such a thing existed? But now my eyes are quite warm. Oh, I love... Can I tell you, I use these self-heating eye masks all the time. Do you? I do, because of listeners who said...

Because of your icy eyes. A listener who hasn't supplied the name of their apothecary in Collingwood did send us a few home remedies, and one includes this... They're these sachets that come in a box of six and you open them up, it's a little tab and you open it up, it's a little foil sachet and the second you open up these little disposable eye masks, they start to heat. Just exposed to the air and you put these, and it not a you know it's not a hot hot heat but it's just a radiating warmth and you put on your eyelids and just the warmth is such a relaxing quality because you know you take care of every

other part of your body. What about your eyeballs? What about your eyes? And what I will say is that the very soft stretch over your ears. Don't tug them. That's nice. That's very nice. Too many things tug on the ears. After all that time with wearing masks constantly in the workplace and such,

just having elastic behind your ears for hours at a time is not nice. But this is very soft. This is subtle. It's quite comfy. And what I will say about this is that if you're someone that is having sex all night, Seri, perhaps you'll never discover the true joy

of sitting silently with your partner lying next to you with these masks on. No, absolutely not. During your 24 hour fuck fest. When it's time to lie silently, that's time for you other person to go home. That's my time. Wait, OK, can I ask, now that you're out Erin Brockovich of the pod. Because of my boobs?

They're called boobs, lazy. But when you have like a date, is it like, obviously now you have a kid, the rules are different, right? It's Jerry Maguire rules. Do they like, do they get to stay over? Are you like, absolutely no, no one's staying over. No, they get to stay over. They're just never staying over

when the child is in the house. The child. That's so interesting. I don't be bringing the stranger around the child. Not me. You need a clear delineation. Never speak to me or my child again. If I see you out of the shop,

I've never met you before in my life. Literally, I will stare through you. I do not know this person. God. Mother doesn't know that man. No. Because gay people do that to each other all the time, but just because we're petty.

But that's good. You're protecting a new life. Oh, absolutely. Have you ever said to someone, don't speak to me or my child ever again? No, I'm still waiting for the opportunity. I can't wait. I mean, I will make the most of it. But yeah, I'm hoping that now that they're at school, you know, I'm going to come into

contact with a lot of other adults and have greater opportunities to develop some nemeses, you know? Yes, to be slighted. Yeah, yeah, to kind of do some side eye glances at people in the yard at pick up time and be like, oh, I can't wait to tell that person to never speak to me or my child. You know? Oh, that's good. Well, what's the whole new world? Oh, hi.

What's the child's name in Big Little Lies? Oh, I can't remember. There are so many children. You mean the two childs? Yeah, there's two in the book. Nicole's child? No, no. Laura Dern's child. Laura Dern's child. Oh, yes.

Child in Big Little Lies. God, Laura Dern is so good in that. I almost rewatched that again just for Laura Dern. Renata is her name. How angry she is in the car, yelling on the phone. Ooh, I love that. And her child's name is Amabella. Amabella?

Amabella! God, that's fucked. That's... Report them to child services. I'm ready for a rewatch of Big Little... Amabella? It's so good. We got tickets to Frozen. We're'm ready for a rewatch. Amabella? It's so good. We got tickets to Frozen.

We're taking all the kids to Frozen. Oh my God. I love Lauren Dunn. Oh yeah. Oh, Amabella. She's so good. Renata. That is like when Reese says, Renata.

That is, ugh. Yeah. God, that show is so good. It's so good. It's so good. Not season two, but season one. That's the show. Yeah.

Okay, Bay Park, take us away. Okay, so the topic, the topic I've brought in for today is one that's been on my mind because I'm a homo-ner now. It's not just trauma. I really, really do have a mortgage. What an awesome thing to have. Oh, that's good.

Yeah, so I've been trying to develop my plant collection, the greenery and the home. So I would like to know what indoor plant can we have in the bunker? Sounds like revelation. OK, so not like direct sun, obviously, because bunker, right? Yes. But, you know, I'm thinking something that can thrive on neglect. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe something that's easily propagated or maybe something a little more high maintenance, you know?

Uh-huh. So I guess, yeah, to get us started, maybe, I mean, there's the classic Monstera that is large and likes indirect light. She is ubiquitous. There's the very feme maiden hair fern. She's a classic monstera that is large and likes indirect light. She is ubiquitous. There's the very femmy maiden hair fern. She's a pretty one. Wow. I was going to say love maiden hair.

Maiden hair is so hot. Devil's Ivy is also a classic. That is overexposed. She's everywhere. It is everywhere. Yeah. But she deals well with low light. She does deal well with low light.

She's a great filler. Exactly. She can sort of like hang, like trail down, give a bit of a jungle-y vibe. Or she can be kind of like pinned up along the walls. That can be quite glamorous, but I agree she is overexposed. Yeah, what about those like string of pearl ones that are a little bit like a succulent or something and they like to hang down? That's nice. I just hate it when it's a one little strand.

Oh, you've got to have multiple strands otherwise what are we doing? Yeah. Give us more darling. Why are people buying that like weird three shoots of bamboo that have like a wax top? Oh, bitch. I hate that. The money plant. Lucky bamboo. Lucky bamboo. Lucky bamboo.

Lucky bamboo. You're actually first. Does it actually grow quickly or? Well, certainly not with the wax. No, because you've stunted it. It's just like an ornamental piece that stays the same all the time, isn't it? Yeah. At that point, it might've been like, it should just be plastic or dead bamboo that's been

painted for all it's doing. Yeah. I would definitely push aside the lucky bamboo for another kind of classic Asian feature, like just a cabbage carved out of Jade to sit on the countertop. Yes, yes. I watched recently a video of a divatronic diva getting a Jade bracelet forced onto her wrist so that it doesn't like fall off like a bangle. Yeah. But like to get her hand through it on the initial application.

It was like they lubed it up and she was like, it was crunching the bone. But then once it was on. To what end? It's on forever. It's on baby. It's kind of like those put those glass bangles that people wear in India, that they like put them on when you're a child and then that's it. They're yours forever.

Or like around your neck. That's crazy. Yeah, I think it's got to be something to do with like, like a class thing about, I'm not building stuff. I'm not doing any manual labor. Look at all this breakable stuff on my wrist. Shifting glass. Yeah, I couldn't possibly. I just got to this breakable stuff on my wrists. Shifting glass. Yeah, I couldn't possibly.

I just got to sit here. My cousin, she was married to an Indian man, and she went to India for her wedding. And it was like a very, very traditional Indian wedding. But she and that part of my family are very, very matter of fact. No frills, no bullshit, just like what it is, you know. Oh, not mountains of marigolds. And no, and no, when they took her, the, like her mother-in-law was insisting that they, like that she get the full jewelry set for the wedding day, like gold.

Yeah, absolutely. full jewelry set for the wedding day, like gold, like real gold jewelry, like insanely expensive that you're going to wear for one day. And she was just mortified and horrified when my cousin Sarah was like, no, I'm not doing that. Oh, sorry. So she went to India to get married and then was like, no, no, I'm not doing all of your traditions. Well, she was like, I'm not spending 10 grand on this when I have a mortgage that I want to, you know, pay down. Like, and the mom was like, what do you mean? She's like, I will just wear like an imitation version of this. Oof. Oh, I don't know about that.

Yeah. Eesh. Yeah. No, it was definitely the meeting of the two worlds. Yeah. But yeah, it's funny as well because it's like the, my cousin is like someone who just does not like a lot of attention. And like the three days of like so much attention being centered on her was just like, I could not believe that she did that.

Yeah, I mean, it's kind of like, if you really, really don't like attention and you're really very pragmatic and no frills, then like, honestly, why are you getting married? What is the point of that? I think, yeah, I don't know. It's like benign, you know? She's like, if you're gonna do it, do it all the way.

I think she might've been doing it for him. Yeah. But also not like, darling, I love you so much. I'll do your traditions. Oh, not that one. Also not that one. No, no, I hate this. Not even, no.

I mean, she was a pretty good sport about most things. I think it was just the, the, like a good sport about like the whole marriage thing. Like, like committing herself to a man for life. Yeah, yeah, because she does love him. But I think it was just like the prospect of spending just an insane amount of money. Like that was not too much. Like that was like, I'm not spending that money.

Yeah, that was the line. Yeah, and I think that that's like, whatever. I mean, I think that's totally fair, but also I would not get married. Yeah. Okay. So, oh God, this is such a cavalcade of options. All right.

So can we, can we agree to rule out the snake plant? Or does anyone love a snake plant? Because I hate a snake plant. Mother in law's tongue. Oxygenate your bedroom. No thank you, I'm fine. Does it oxygenate? It looks so, yeah, I don't know.

I find it very unfreezing aesthetically. Wait, is that the one they put in offices? Yeah, maybe. It's like the very vertical. I've got two near the bathroom. It's quite big. Mother-in-law's tongue is a better name for it than snake plant because that thing does not look

like a snake at all. Eel, maybe. Yes, ribbed eel. Eel, I'll give you. I don't know. But snake? No, bitch. One time I went to a guy on Gumtree who was selling plants and he insisted that I buy

a snake plant and he was like, you really want this? And I was like, he was like, you really want this? And I was like, why? And he's like, when they were looking to terraform Mars, this was the number one candidate of plant they wanted to take because it oxygenates the atmosphere so much. And I was like, and then he handed me like a little flyer that was explaining how it was going to be taken to the first missions to Mars. And I was like, that's cool. Some good marketing. So when you get to Mars. And I was like, that's cool. That is cool.

So when you get to Mars, snake plant. Yeah, well, if only there were more snake plants and Arnie's head wouldn't have exploded in that awful movie. As you know. But don't things like parlor palms and stuff also clear the air, oxygenate, whatever? Aren't there many plants that do that?

Well, this was the one that NASA said. Yeah, they do do it more and they do it more at night in the night hours. But it's like to actually reap the benefits. It's like it's like the red wine. Twenty of them. It's like, bitch, you want to be healthy. Red wine is not the answer. You want oxygen in a room. A snake's not the answer. Open the window.

Open the window. Yeah. But turn up the window. Yeah. But. Turn up the vents. Yeah. Whoa. You can't open a window on Mars, Diva. Arnie. So there's that. Then we've got like.

Okay, so no snake plant. No, a bit, no. Good, good. Ruled out. Some fabulous, like, I mean, there's the endless world of philodendrons. They're great. A bit more interesting than your devil, like, I mean, there's the endless world of philodendrons. They're great, a bit more interesting than your, um, devil's ivy. A bit more diversity. Um, then you've got,

I mean, like orchids, people have orchids inside. I hate the look of an orchid. Oh my. We've talked about this before with flowers, I think. Yeah. You hate the orchids. No, I love it in the wild. Like to be in a, like that scene from adaptation where Meryl goes through and finds the black orchid in the swamp. Oh, so good. God, I love that film. It's so good.

Adaptation. Philodendron. Adaptation. Then, okay, so there's like fiddly- What about the purple ones? Oxalis. Is that what it is? So there's Oxalis, which I only recently got an Oxalis,

and I fucking love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so cute. It kind of looks like a swarm of little purple butterflies. Yes. Yes, little moths. And at night, they go to sleep, and they- Close up?

And then in the day, it wakes up before I do when I get up She's already opened up. Oh, you're just always one step ahead But I like that it keeps me in check. I like that also But it looks a bit like a four leaf clover or like a clover. It does it does it does I mean, I feel like if it's the only plant in the bunker, then like having some green would be good. But also this purple looks really fab. I love that.

There is a green variety, but I mean, if you're looking at the trrrr, it's hard to go past a purple plant. And a gorgeous little purple flowers as well. Flowers. I like that. We wouldn't want to tread on the raffles. For a while I was obsessed with the idea that like, what if I could bring a little pot, like a square pot into my house and just grow like a 30 centimeter by 30 centimeter lawn.

I do remember talking about that. I was, I think that's so fabulous. I thought you hated lawn. I hate lawn, but what if it was in your backyard? I mean, what if it was in your house? So just 30 centimetre by 30 centimetre and then to scale a tiny miniature golfing figurine. I would love.

And you'd be like, all golf can only be at this scale. This is the only way for it to be sustainable. That's it. I mean, it's so true. We made a coffee table that's surface was lawn. Yeah. That's hard. Well, that sounds like what something on YouTube would do with like a little Perspex cover.

That could be us. We could be YouTube. And like if you're ever having a snack and you drop some crumbs, it's like, oh, well, compost. Yeah. Is that the idea? Yeah. Put the worms in. No wiping up.

I have arms. Put the worms in. No wiping up. I have arms. I could make that. That's cool. Sorry. Yeah. I could do a codelab. Um, well, yes, that's it. I mean. All right. Well, the Oxalis is very good.

What was the other one you were saying? Fiddle leaf. Oh, the fiddle leaf. Grows tall, doesn't it? And the leaves are quite temperamental. Yeah. It's extremely temperamental. The leaves will die off all the time. You look at it and a leaf drops.

But you know when those people have those really healthy gargantuan versions of houseplants? Yeah. Like when you see someone with like a really successful maiden's hair fan. Yes. How do they do that? What witchcraft is this?

They have no life, that's why. Is it a spray bottle? Is that the witchcraft? Yeah well but then like I would always over water my maidens hair and they would die. They hate too much water, they hate too little water, never let it dry out, never let it get soggy. When I see maidens hair though like when I'm out and about and I see them like next to a waterfall, I'm just like, it's so majestic in real life. Yes, it's beautiful. Oh, I love them. Very delicate. Well, you know about my dream houseplant, Zelda?

I have a big rock. A giant rock. Yeah. I would love a boulder in the middle of my living room. Did you see that person that was like, are you allowed to sell your TV to buy a boulder? Oh my God. So like a rock with a tiny little air plant sticking out the top? Not an air plant, but like a little bit of moss and some lichen.

There'd be moss on the underside where the water drips down and then there'd be lichen on the top. Moss. What about just moss is the indoor type? I love moss. Moss is pretty close. But it's so hard to propagate. It's so hard to keep alive.

But it's like a good, it's like a good dark cave. It's cave vibes. Yeah, that's true. Oh, it's very bunker adjacent. You're not wrong. Yeah, I love moss. Some moss growing around all the cracks and crevices. Yeah, I've never tried to grow it on purpose. You're saying it's hard, Zelda, to keep alive. Is it sensitive like the other ones?

Too much water, not enough? It needs a lot of water. Yeah, and in the garden, it will appear where it is optimal, and it will happen. But if you do like, what a fantasy to have all of your indoor plants, but they're surrounded by moss. Yeah. So I don't look at soil. Like I've seen that before. What about mushrooms?

It's the indoor plant. Yeah. Oh, one of those like cut open fungi bags. Yeah. Mmm. Like that guy that I used to hook up with who worked at the mush, who was a mushroom farmer. Did he? Exactly like that.

Yeah. Was he a mushroom as well? Is that what you're saying? He had kind of mushroomy vibes. Did he he a mushroom as well? Is that what you're saying? He had kind of mushroomy vibes. Did you have a mushroomy dick? Yeah. I had a giant dick. It was massive.

What? It was impractically cute. Who is this person? I don't know, but he would. How dare you not have told me about this person. Well, no, and like he would come over. And cut or uncut? Because that makes a difference to the mushroominess, doesn't it?

I think he was cut. Yeah, that makes sense. That's very mushroom. But he would come over after his shifts at the merch when I lived in Yarraville. And I asked him what he did, and he said, well, obviously, work bar at Yarraville. But I also have just started a little mushroom farm out in the like countryside.

So I go there most of the week. I need a very like pale skin. Oh my goodness. And a honking dick. And a honking great. But also the other thing about him was, um, he, he, like, you know, like that very, like goosebumps don't go in the basement thing where it's like, maybe he was like mushroom now, like the real him was tied up in the basement, but then like the

mushrooms had gone over. Yeah. I see that. And then were they a good f***? Yeah. The mushroom version. Not the... Yeah. No, the dick was too that. And then were they a good fuck? Yeah. The mushroom version. Not the... Yeah.

No, the dick was too big for me to partake in. Oh my God. How dare you keep this from me? So what? No, I was like... It was kept from him. That's why. That's it.

Oh, what a fabulous story. Can I say though, this is just a little side story about something that I was reminded of recently about hookup Oh, is it there was this guy that back in the day when I was a day of about town We used to hook up with who did also have a giant honking dick But after a hookup and he had this like super super dom dom vibes Would you describe it as like a slab of cock? It was just a pizza slab. Oh my god.

Anyway, but then after like, so he's super, super dom vibes, like aggressive verbal top vibes. And then after he came, he'd go down into the lounge room or whatever, and he'd be like, do you want like a cup of tea? And then I'm like, yeah. And then he's like, do you want a little sweet tea from the sweet box? And then he'd pull down- Wait, was his voice like that? He was speaking in that way?

He had like a Kiwi accent. Oh my God, I don't know if I could take a Kiwi accent. As a dom. Seriously. Oh, you like that tree. I'd be like, yeah. Seriously. You like that? Be like, yeah, bro. You like this dick.

Yeah. I'm your little bitch. But he would like pull down like, pull down like a cookie tin and it would have like, um, like a few individually wrapped Gillian chocolates and like some other, and he'd be like, and I, on this, and it was definitely something he did every time, and it suddenly just made him appear as like this very sweet older man. That's called aftercare, baby.

Yeah, and he was just like, isn't Gillian good? Oh, it's so rich. Oh my God, it's so decadent. And I was like, wow. Gillian Goode. So rich. Oh my God. It's so decadent. And I was like, wow. A decadent treat. You know, only on movie night.

Only on fuckfest night. Yeah. Starts playing hop. Yeah. Yeah. What a funny energy. Wow. But I loved a person. That sounds so fun. Offering, you know, like already people with lolly trays.

Like my friend Emmett does this all the time, where he like will eat, like say he gets like an individual wrapped Marvelous Creations bar, you know, where you get five segments of Marvelous Creations popping candy. He would say, eat two segments, two pips of the Marvelous Creations popping candy and then leave three pips in the wrapper, roll it up and put it in like his Tupperware container of lollies. And like in that would be like, you know, a bunch of squirts, you know, some individually wrapped bonbons,

some like Easter eggs from like Easter last year. And like after dinner, he'd be like, oh, do you want something from a lolly, lollichess? And he would pick one thing out and eat it. And I'd be like, bitch, if this was in my house, none of these would have survived my first encounter. That's maturity, isn't it? It's sick. You have sweeties and you don't eat all of the sweeties immediately. How am I to keep that in my home?

And this guy was like that. It's like having a big bag of chips and having one serving size and then being like, well, I'm done now and putting it away. What a delicious, oh, five Doritos. Wasn't that good. You know what? So as the listener knows, I helped out on the shoot for your sizzle, real lazy. Yeah.

And at the end of that, there was of course two days worth of fabulous catering, which was, we were catered to. Yes. But there was a little bit of overflow and you know, as I was there last, I received some of that overflow. You did indeed. And my candy drawer overfloweth. But then I also got all of these little bags, like very little bags of chips. Yes. And it fills me with great pride to say that they remain in my house.

What? And I get eaten all of those chips. When you have a hookup over, you can honest answer. Yeah. Have you ever offered them a single bag of chips? No. Oh. No.

What do you offer your hookups? After the hookup? Before or after. Before a glass of water. Yes. Before, you're gonna need it. All right. Yeah. Yuck.

I would never say that. After, hydrolyte. Yeah. Need it. I can't spare the moisture. What? No, anytime they come over, they're like, do you want a glass of water?

And then they come in and then you're like. Come in what? Come in what? And after, well, I don't know, the vibe after is so Come in my ass. And after, well, I don't know, the vibe after is so dependent on what happened during, I guess. Okay. When everyone's life.

So, which house planned? So, which house plant? So which house plant? Yeah. I mean, listen, I hate cactuses. I think that's stupid. Oh, that's not happening. Yeah, no, I'm not into the cacti.

I'm barely into the succulents, really. I think they're a bit overdone. Yeah. Like I get hurt enough by everyone else around me. As if I need to get hurt by my houseplants as well. Yeah. I want to be able to run my hand. I don't need to bring a bunch of little pricks into my living space.

This is my house. Yeah. So not that, not the snake. What about the peace lily? Is that a nice one? I'm not trying to poison pets. True, there is that. What pets do we have in the bunker?

Oh. Well, most of them are getting eaten by the mayor. Like wandering, not in the, yeah, not in the, yeah. Well, no peace lilies in the oceanarium. No. Is it cats that they're poisonous to? Yeah. Anything that eats them, I think.

Yeah. I also think that they're ugly. I just think that they're ugly. I just think that they're ugly. Yeah, they die really quickly as well. Yeah, they're a bit. Yeah. It's just like one flower coming up the centre. Is that right?

Yeah. Which is the same as what an orchid does. Like it's not giving a lot of like bushiness, shrubbery vibes. It's just, they, they're meant to absorb a lot of toxins and stuff in the air as well, aren't they? Nothing toxic in my house. Except for the black mold and the red. Except for Brittany.

Except for Brittany, yeah. Except the hex of alien Chromian. That's your house. Oh, that's my house. OK. I mean, My house. Okay. I mean, I think, I mean. What's your favorite plant at your house? So that got the one that you. My absolute like prize possession is like a, a variegated, um, uh, I'm a mom

bromeliad. It's the one that I got from my dad's house in Rye. And it's actually stunning. Is it like white and green? It's like green with like dark purple stripes all through it. It's spiky, unfortunately. We can't hold that against her, but she's like flowered twice in like the new house. She's got all these pups.

It's actually incredible. It's so cool and has sparked my love of other Bromeliads. Um, but none of them are asups. It's actually incredible. It's so cool and has sparked my love of other bromeliads But none of them are as fabulous. It's so good Listen I'm happy to support you in your variegated bromeliad Yeah, I would like to look up a picture of said variegated I can't, I must look at this eye mask on, I actually can't see anything I am looking at her and I now know which pant you're referring to. But I'm going to show you, I took all these.

I'll send you a photo of the actual one. One moment. Oh, so then we could take a cutting from your actual variegated bromeliad. But how spiky is this bitch? Look at that! It's so cool. I love it. Well, I see no reason. Are they spiky?

Are they spiny? Oh. So like along the edges, there's little like little shark teeth. Oh yes. Oh yeah, no I like that. How did your dad get this one? So it was after, are we taking our eye masks off now?

Okay, I'll take mine off as well. You know, Sherry's had hers off. How long have you guys had your eye masks off now? Okay, I'll take mine off as well. You know, Sherry's had hers off. How long have you guys had your eye masks off for? I've been done having it off, yeah. I'm sweating, it's so hot. I already sweat too much from my face, so just the added steaminess was becoming a little much for me. I feel like they would be great on an aeroplane though,

I have to say. Yeah, no, for sure. That would be incredible. For sure, it's so. I can't believe I was sitting here with an eye mask on and you guys both had taken it off. You looked so... You looked very stupid. We all thought so.

We took so many photos of you. Oh my God. So dad, I don't know. It wasn't there when I was in that house, but... Is this your father who's a horticulturalist? Yes. But yeah, dad must have picked it up from somewhere and then it like had a very happy was in that house, but, um, Is this your father who's a horticulturalist? Yeah. But yeah, dad must've picked it up from somewhere. And then it like had a very happy spot in that front yard. Yeah.

And then before dad moved out, I was like, Oh, can we snap off some of the bromeliad and I want to take it. And now. So you actually, you, you grew this from a cutting. Yeah. Ooh, that's fab. Yeah. Um, and like, am I correct in remembering that in the bunker,

there's an occasional torrential downpour of rain? Maybe. It's going to fill up that bromeliad cup. Yeah, so the little center is a hollow bit, and then it'll be water in there? Yes. Ooh. And when we get to which frog?

Yes. We've got a home ready. And a little frog would look so good just sitting on the edge of that. It's so cute. OK on the edge of that. So cute. Like, okay. I'm into that.

Variegated bromeliad. Let's do it. Let's do it. Okay, lock it in. Love that. Well, that means this week, coming into the bunker, the variegated bromeliad, the bisexual is of course Frida Kahlo. Yes.

As a deer. As a deer. As a male deer. As a male deer. With a few arrows. With a few arrows. With a few arrows. Stab. Sticking out, trotting the halls.

And of course. Trotting the halls. The halls. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. You're just playing blue.

You don't need to play blue. And of course, on the pick and mix, we'll be putting in sherbet bombs filled with some kind of an, I don't know, I don't know. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Of course, on the pick and you, you'll leak that... ...you'll see. What the fuck? It's time to end the show now.

No, no, we have one more duty. Oh, you're so right. You are free. You can put in anything you want. A concept, a thing, a face, a person. Whatever you like. I would like to put in, to the library, if I may, a little audio clip on loop that can be withdrawn

to listen to by any of the bunker occupies, residents, whenever they're feeling a little down. Okay, and the audio is of Zelda Moon at improv night being Marge Simpson sending a voice note on Grindr. Wow. Going, hey! Hey! Oh wow.

Exactly. So we'll have like an eight second pause between haze and there'll be at least six haze in the recording and just if you're having a tough week and they're out of your flavor milkshake, you know, and you're just not feeling the vibes, just go in there, have a little pick me up. And it's so weird because it's an experience that I've never lived myself, like just sending out haze to people. You would never send out a hay without a dick pic attached.

Huh. Hi. Hey. Maybe you should start with the Marge voice, see what comes back. I could. without a dick pic attached. Huh. Hi. Hi. Hi. Maybe you should start with the Marge voice. See what comes back. I could. That'd do it.

So for context, at Heeshee, they said what? The Improv Night that Zelda and I were participating in with Delica Tessin and Brenda Bress. The prompt on screen that we had to riff on was Marge Simpson on Grindr. And then Zelda came out to a very quiet, waiting audience and went, Hey! And then she left the stage and the audience laughed and fell silent one more time.

And then Zelda walked out and said, Hey! And then walked away. And then the audience fell silent after more time and then Zelda walked out and said, Hey! And then walked away. And then the audience fell silent after Rapture's laughter again. And she came out one last time, everyone waiting in silence, and then, Hey! It was incredible. It's work and stick with it. So good.

Yeah. Oh Lord. What a great addition. That's a great addition to the library. I with it. So good. Yeah. Oh Lord. What a great addition. That's a great addition to the library. I love it. Having fun isn't hard when you have a library card. Exactly.

I actually just got a library card and it was very exciting. Oh my Lord. Congratulations. I'm going to go for the Open Libraries program so I can stay later after they close at six seconds stage till ten. You party animal. And on Sundays I can come in at nine, even though they open later. What are you coming in? That means they really trust you.

Yes, we have to do an induction program, but one distinct one for each different library, but I only want Fitzroy North so I can gaze upon that playground. Yes, of course. Sorry, what? It's such a beautiful playground. Okay. They'll be kicking you out of there soon. Anything else in that playground is beautiful, we'll be fine. It's good to check on your gay friends whether they've turned pedo. Just once every so often. Oh, you're still gay, not pedo. Just checking. Oh, good, good. Just checking.

Good, good, good. I don't want to be reading about this in a current affair. Checking in. Oh. And, Shelda, before I go, of course, as if we do each week, you're still not pedo, hey? No. Good, good, good.

Okay. Yeah, and what about you? No, I'm not pedo. Okay, good, good. And Sarah, you're still not half pedo, right? No, I'm not even a little bit. Oh, good. That's good, that's good.

Okay, and Matt, you're straight. You didn't need to worry about you. No. That's right. Everyone knows they're straight. Straight men, famous Lucy. No, I'm straight lady. Okay.

You're in the clear. Well, thank you so much for coming and joining us here in the Celestial Voice. Yes. It was my absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me. We'll see you all in hell. Yeah. Absolutely. Oh, god. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matchears.

Our theme song and music was provided by Edicentric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathearapart.gmail. Bye, like and subscribe. Bye!