Death To Everyone - Death To… Planes, Strings & Arcade Machines

Episode Date: June 10, 2025

Hello Listener,How long is a piece of string? Well today we discuss the different lengths and types of strings and which piece will go into our doomsday bunker. Riveting!Tune in to find out more.Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm a white woman, a rich white woman. And my name's Zelldemoon. And this is our show, Death to Everyone. Especially you. Especially you guys. On the show, we two celestial goddesses who are often mistaken in our human corporeal forms as drag queens, but make no mistake, listener, we are in fact ageless entities from beyond the stars in our celestial void, but you are now receiving a transmission, a miraculous auditory experience

through your little headphones that your brain can only just conceive and on this audio transmission We explain what from your earthling society we would like to keep and what we'd like to give back On my audio transmission this week. I'd like to say great work To this listener. Yeah, I don't know about that. I don't know what they've been doing, but good on you for trying. I think I'd like to not encourage you to continue down the route you're currently going down, listener. It seems like you're cocky. People are talking behind your back.

And I think you might be ugly. But no one's told you. The last time you checked, you were pretty. But no one's told you. Last time you checked, you were pretty. But times change. Well, yeah. From the time when you, would you ever have that thing where you're like, if you look in a mirror, you give yourself, like, you know how to pose your face to appease yourself.

Yes. And then you're not doing that all the time. Yeah. Why can't I be like that all the time? No one is seeing the angle of you that you see. No, and it's the best angle. It's the- because I've seen the photos. That's right. And it's not the same. No, no, no, no, no, no, I mean not of you. You look amazing all the time, sister. But of me. Ego. We need to practice ego death. Ego death. Do you know how I've been practicing ego death, dear sister?

Mirrors? You'll get me young. No, no, I went to, I've been going to yoga. Sorry, what? Yeah, Kurjan's friend started putting on these yoga classes. Yeah, yoga classes. Yes, yes. We just eat yoga. It's random,. Yoga classes. Yes. Yeah. We just eat yoga.

What if you want to bring a Chobani flip? Oh, do you know what though? Yeah. We wouldn't allow that. Um, God, I wouldn't allow that. Chobani, eat my whole. Yeah. Um, but yoga, what a delight.

Yes. But the- That snake? Oh. And the gorilla. Yeah. But also the, the little chocolate buttons you can get to flip in your- Chocolate. Yeah. But also the little chocolate buttons you can get to flip in your... Chocolate.

Yeah, chocolate. All the M&Ms, but they tend to stain the yoga, which just makes it a bit of a schmazzle. I hate the stain. I don't mind it. I can get past it because it's so enjoyable to have that crispy candy shell crunch beneath my molars, surrounded, ensconced in a yoga treat. What about the McFlurry with the mini M&M's?

Yeah, it's stained. It's a delight, but the stain. I'm eating a rainbow stain. I know, and then by the end it makes that kind of like booger green. Anyway, what were they saying about yoga? You were still doing yoga. Yoga. Anyway, so it's very humbling, obviously, because I have the body elasticity of a rock.

We're doing it and we're stretching out. The good thing that this woman does, she's so good because she's so... She's like, take whatever you want from this and leave whatever isn't good for you. And if you don't want to do something, don't do it. I'll always like give you ways of doing things that can make the stretches a little bit easier if you're like whatever. And the whole time she's making eye contact with me. And she said if you just want to leave, you can leave anytime. In fact, I'd encourage it.

No, but they- You're disrupting the class. Why did you bring yoga in here? You keep asking where the yoga is. But the thing that happened was, it's kind of a full practice thing. She does a bit of breathing. At the end, she goes around, we all close our eyes and she puts this, does a bit of, grabs your forehead and pushes your skull and then kind of mists you with a smokey, Tiger Balmy type experience. It's really good. But one of the parts that you did was like,

we're gonna do like a sound bathy type thing where we're all gonna take deep inhale breath and then we're gonna come out and go, mm. And so I took that, I've been to a drama class at a community school, of course I know how to hum in a room. Yes. So, what was that history?

Anyway, so then we start that and she's like, I want you to hold your hand and put your fingers over your ears and just do it so it's inside of your skull. You're only thinking about you. And I'm like, amazing, my favorite. And so I'm lying there. Way ahead of you, darling. I've been thinking about me and yoga this whole time. So we're all lying around and the idea, in my mind at least,

and based on what she described, not to be a grade grabber, but is that we were all meant to create a bath. It's an overlapping sound bath. And the way that people are doing it is like we're all inhaling, but slowly we're meant to get out of sync. So we're not all inhaling at the same time. Some of us are humming for longer. Some of us have different, you know, breath spans or whatever. And I notice about a minute or two in, only after I unplugged my ears, that I'm the only one who's not doing it in time with everyone else. So everyone else is going, mmm.

And then in that silence, you just hear me going, mmm. And I'm like, what? And I'm trying to like find this piece that she's talking about, about like fully just letting go of the world. And all I can think about is like, can we all just agree that I'm not crazy and you guys are just cowards?

Why are you all humming at the breathing point? Yeah, like, oh, you're, oh, I meant to believe that you all breathe the exact same way. And so then I'm like, I start like muting my mmm when everyone stops mmming. Cause I'm like, but I'm like, I've still got a bit of mmm left in the tank, but now I'm like changing my breath to be in time with everyone, but it's like, I'm, I got a long, and so I'm like, mmm, mmm, mmm. And it's not calming. It's very stressful.

Why did she make me block my ears? I wouldn't have, I was ooming. When you were ooming. Yeah. Anyway, that's our space car driver Matt. Hi. Hey. Soolang you're to you Matt. Would you like the aircon on or off today? Oh, it's already on. It's winter.

It's the day to winter. It's been provided by Gaia. You'll remember. Whoopi Goldberg played the part. Do you think it would be good, right? If you could enter this room as it feels right now on a summer's day, would you be happy? As it, well, yes. Like if you could have, if you could like time travel, we come into the studio on a hot summer's day. And this is the temperature of the studio when we walk in.

We just walk into winter version of the studio. Yeah. Right. Yes, I am getting aircon. Wait, Matt. No, I'm making... But also it's like, this would be incredible if this was the AC. Yeah. And it just felt this cool, but like ambient cool. It didn't feel like it was trying. And then if you could come in, like the hot, hot, stinky summer days,

if you could come in here and it could be that temperature, like maybe it's just about point of view is what I'm saying. Like, let's just pretend it's really hot outside is what I'm saying. Power of the mind. Like let's power them. Sorry, that might be my yoga practice. Coming through. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine you were on a summer's day, sitting in the park, sweltering. There's a cool breeze.

Oh, you're doing it as well. Block your ears. I can't believe Yogo fell off though. Where is she? She should be the star of the world and now she's just kind of relegated to like beneath go get squirts and Chobani. Chobani. Yeah, true. Um, do you think that cause is Yogo custard or it's custard? It's a chocolate dairy snack.

Okay. I don't think it's, it can't be defined. Because custard is repulsive. You don't like custard. I don't like custard's, it can't be defined. Because custard is repulsive. You don't like custard. I don't like custard. Can I tell you? Like custard from the cardboard, like milk container. Zelda.

And then like stovetop made custard. Yum. I hate custard. I was the kid who would actually on several occasions get a carton of custard Oh and chug it? to go to a movie and we would share a carton of custard while we watched the film drinking

We would share a carton of custard while watching Scooby Doo 2 Monsters Unleashed Pass me the custard Don't bogart the custard. Oh don't spill the custard. It's all over my chair. I just hate lumpy custard. Oh yeah.

But I like custard. Oh, I haven't had custard in a long time, but I love custard on a dessert. When someone says you want vanilla ice cream or custard, I'm like- On a pudding. On a pudding. Custard is so pudding adjacent. Yeah. Yeah. It should be on a pudding. Yeah. St is so pudding adjacent. Yeah. Yeah.

It should be on a pudding. Yeah. Sticky date, fruit, like fruit pudding, Christmas pudding. Oh yeah. With a custard. Take me to heaven, sweetheart. Oh my God. Ew.

That guy would love, no, maybe he wouldn't. Because when custard develops. Skin. Skin. That's pretty, it's pretty gross, but you know what? Get over it. What is custard made of? Milk. Egg. Egg. It's a bit of egg.

It's egg yolks mostly and a bit of thickened cream, some sugar and some vanilla. It's a real treat. And also, you know, you're searing it. So you get that kind of yellow color coming through more and more. Okay. So Lazy Susan had a gig this weekend and pre-gig, you set yourself the goal of being like quintessential drag queen for the night.

Yeah. Did it happen? I did a pretty bad job. Okay. So I was going to go to this Bendigo gig with Gabriella Labucci. I didn't realize where Bendigo was and how long it took me to get there. But, um, it got there and I was like, I'm going to have all my bingo calls down. And I had a few of them, but I couldn't get it. And then I still got to sneak out a few of my new jokes where it was like,

oh, I went to the doctor the other day and he told me I need to stop masturbating. And I said, why? And he said, because I'm trying to examine you. Oh, I'm terrible. And then, oh, do you ever wonder why Barbie isn't pregnant? Cause Ken came in another box. Oh. You like that, man?

I'm just laughing at how cringe that must have been for you. Oh no, you know, the other day when I got a Christmas tree from Target and I walked up to the lady at the counter and she said, are you gonna put this up yourself? And I said, no bitch, I gotta put it up in the living room. Terrible. Oh god, but you know what? My dick is actually in the Guinness World Record books but the librarian keeps telling me to take it out. Oh, no. God, when did this happen?

I think it's so become a problem, but I love it. I could do maybe a whole hour and a half on this guy. I know. I just want to really flesh him out. Flesh him out. Oh my god. Talking about being fleshed out. Yeah. Yeah. I went to scruff, you know. Up to pussy's bow in flesh and by flesh I mean dick. Well, I'm disturbed. Yeah, sorry about that everyone. Um, wow. Have seen it'll just be that guy

and then he will be doing impressions of Robbie. Yeah, how would you do that? Sit at home I expect. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gag. Oh god, that's terrible. Isn't that rancid? Oh gosh.

Well, yeah. So anyway, good gig. Oh, you're doing your voice too. Or is that just you? It was a great gig. Okay, great. It was a great gig. Gab, Gabriella Labucci has, you know how she won the sewing machine in the,

she won like her prize that she won on Drag Race was the sewing machine. Um, Was it, do you know me? She don't know me. Singer? Singer. It was a good, like it was the singer master something. And for the longest time she was trying to sell it

post show because it was like a joke. It was like, Oh, I do not. So, but she didn't end up selling it. And now she is sold every last time, like last three times. I've seen her, she's sewn everything that she was wearing. How cool. And she's getting really good. That's awesome. I mean, she started really good. They look great. I mean, like it's, it's so cool. It's crazy. That's fun. But she's really into it. And she, she started really good. They look great. I mean, like it's so cool. It's crazy. That's fun. But she's really into it and she's having the best time. Cute.

Good on your gab. Yeah. Good on your gab. And then, did anything else of note happen? Well, I'd love to hear what's happening with Sheridan Sky. Sheridan Sky. Sheridan Sky was bullying me. Oh, good.

Along with Daisy Chains. And so I was bullied the entire time I was there. And then when I was leaving in my tights at 12 o'clock at night, she's like, are you going home in that? Why are you having like a change of clothes? And I was like, could you just get off my dick for just two seconds. Just let me live. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Oh, that was it. That's just, I don't need all the questions. Are you saying that you were literally just wearing tights? I was wearing a dressing and a jacket as well. Oh, Janey Jacquet. But I was like, I'm going into my car, to the gas station and then I'm driving home.

Oh my God, that perilous drive home there. So how long is the drive? It was like an hour and 50, which isn't the worst. I've done like the bigger ones where it's been like two and a half hours. It's literally just a testament to how much I love doing these gigs that I drive this far. Like it's not a rational thing. I just love going to an RSL in the middle of nowhere with Gab and Sky. Sky, Sheridan Sky.

Sheridan Sky. Because it's always just like, and also like there was 240 people there. Wow. Like, and we asked how many had seen Drag Race and maybe 10. Oh, wow. Like they do not have any concept of who Gab or I are in that context. You're just drag queen. Drag queen at event.

Yeah. And they just love it. And bingo. Some are just there for the bingo. It's great. And did you do spots? Yeah, yeah, I do two spots. And the audience, you know, like...

I did. Oh my God. Well, so it's like, you need to imagine it's an RSL, not an RSL, it's the Four Seasons or whatever. And it's like their event function room. So it's these, like what you would go to for like a wedding, I guess, banquet. Yeah. Okay. So it's round tables and a giant like white lit room and no lighting.

Yeah. Like any chance of atmosphere or ambiance, that is gone. Yeah. Yeah. And so when you do a spot number and I started, I did my like, I did a revised version on the Kelly Clarkson spot number, which I just do not have the ability to back up as a performer. Cause like you see, like when Gab was doing her number, she like runs through the whole place. She's doing high kicks, she's serving it, blah, blah.

I'm not going gonna do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I was doing it and I was like, sing along if you know these. People did sing, which was, thank God. Yeah, that's good. But I immediately stepped down off the stage being cocky onto the carpeted floor

and the strap on my crystal clacker broke. No. And then I was like, fine, I'll do the like, quitter's way out for drag queens who have no dance ability and I'll do a knee slide on a carpeted floor. In my Mandy Moob's original little like, silver millennia outfit and I put a little hole in the knee. No.

I don't know why I never should do a knee slide, but I was just like, I need to give them something. They're starved. Starved. And you did it as Kelly? Kelly Clarkson. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Kelly wouldn't knee slide. Probably not. No. No, definitely not. And then what was your other number? I did

birds. Oh cute, yeah, no that's good. Something you're doing for rising as well, but I feel like such a hack. I'm just like, you know, it's just, you know. It's just, there's only so many ideas. Well do you know what's kind of turned me off as well recently? It's just like, obviously, being a hacky drag queen is fine by me, but sometimes you see other divas and it reflects what you're doing back to you. And they'll be doing, for example, not one that actually exists, but they'll be like, push the button. And then the whole show will just be about them pushing a button. Yeah.

And they'll bring up a button and push the button. And you're like, is that me? Am I that? Oh. Do you know what I mean? It's like, and so I'm like, now that I am, you know, the literal interpretation of songs taken to the most anteat literal degree. Yeah. Although you know what? I say all that. Miss Gabriella Labucci, I don't want to like blow up her spot, but her newest spot was so fun. She did, you know that song, Betty Davis Eyes? Yes. She just cut out Betty Davis and she goes she's got eyes and then as the song progressed like pulls out these googly

eyes and sticks them to her titties and then to her puss and then starts throwing eyes out into the crowd and it's good. I like that. That's a delight. Oh, that's quite cool. Well, she's got eyes Like that, yeah. Mmm, but I was like that's you know, but I'm like Isn't it's hard. It's hard. Also. I'm like, I don't know Obviously the a fan of like some of the cabaret divas and they just like have literally been perfecting one spot for 10 years. Yes. Also like different audience. If you perform at different locations, it is not the same audience.

So why do a different number? I think it's more just to be like, I think like there's potential in this guy. I'd love to do a whole spot as like, oh, hi guys. And like, what would he do? Let's go girls. I'm going out tonight. I'm feeling all right. He would do that. Yeah.

But I think he has to do live vocals. Yes. Gonna get a little hang out. Yeah. No, that's good. Try that next. I don't know. I don't's good. Try that next. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Anyway, how was your weekends, Elder? Are you feeling good, recharged, revitalized?

So my weekend was just fine. I had a bit of a cold. I don't know if you can hear it, listener. Pray for me. Pray for Mojo. Yeah. But I'm on the mend. Yeah, so I had a pretty quiet weekend. I have embarked on the final season of Handmaid Tale. Which- Has you kept up? Yeah, so I'd seen everything up to this point. God, you're good.

You just stay on top of these terrible fucking shows. Yeah, it really, it's quite interesting because the prestige of it all seems to be so much more important to them than the content of the show. So like I'm halfway through the final season. Oh no, I've only got two episodes left now, but like every episode of this TV show, it's had six seasons.

Every single one probably has three 10 minute long monologues delivered in a completely like unorganic way to a character from a character. That tends to be. Yeah. And it's just, it's just too much. Like... Sounds like this podcast. They're... But they're all profound. Every one of them is profound. Yeah. But like when everything is profound, nothing is profound.

Yeah, you can't stay in that intensity. And it's that intent, like it was midway through, like episode three, and like there is this intense monologue. And then the characters just move on until the next intense monologue between them. It's like, it's just so, and then like, oh, there was this one particular episode where like, oh, the shotgun revelation that she was betrayed by blah, blah, whatever. And they're like in a cupboard and then like everything in the cupboard fades away and

it's just Peggy like next to the cupboard door and then cut to credits. It's just like, what is this? Like, it's just so like cinematic and grand. And it's so important this story, which like the fundamental story is very interesting and fucked. Well, that's what season one was. Yeah. But here we are, it's still going. But that's why it's just obscene that they kept it going. Yeah.

I'm like, you get one or two seasons max. HBO max. Literally, they changed it back. Did you see that? Yeah. The branding has been so weird for that. God, they can't make up their mind. It's just wild.

Yeah. So, I mean- Well, now you've got them just like that. Yes. Another show about poor women in a weird dystopia. Sometimes wearing big hats. I love that big hat. That big hat.

You watched episode one. I haven't yet. But I saw pictures of the big hat. The big hat? The big like flouncy, gingham hat? Yeah. Oh my God, it's so good. I just am like... There is a way that that show is received

by the public that makes me like... Fuck off, everyone. Like, no one deserves... The culture does not deserve Sarah Jessica Parker. Like, I'm like, I've so thoroughly fucking had it. Yeah. I'm like, she is the best.

She is such a vibe. And you people in your comments are like, she seems like such a mean girl. I'm like, piss off. Yeah. Like Kim Katral is obviously insane. I'm sorry. She's crazy.

The way she has presented herself, the way she has spoken about the show, her previous employer is crazy. The way she has presented herself, the way she has spoken about the show, her previous employer is crazy. And if every single other person on the show doesn't talk about her or doesn't want to talk about her, it's not because there's a mean girl vibe, it's because she's fucking crazy. She's incredible.

She's so good at that character. But I think at a certain point, you have to admit, if every single other woman says, no, thank you, then it's not a them problem. Yeah. Come on. Let's be so fucking real. Yes. It is on that, like the audience just never being happy. Yeah, which is you know the internet but as previously discussed we

Spoke to last of us and the Bella Ramsey of it all. Yeah, so that Key part of that is that she doesn't look like the argument is that she doesn't look like the character Yeah, which like I like I guess like two people don't look like the character. Yeah. Which like, I don't know, like I guess like two people don't look the same all the time. Well, like who cares? Like Pedro doesn't look like Joel in the video game. They both just like middle-aged men, whatever. You should indeed be more concerned with the storytelling and the performances of which she does like a perfectly fabulous job or whatever. But anyway, like the internet hates her because she doesn't look like the character in quotation

marks or slash like, you know, like this just like endless memes of her with like tiny features and a gigantic head and stuff. Well, that's the real sin. Yeah. Um, but it's just interesting because I don't know what has happened in my various algorithms, but this week I have just, every single time I go on the internet, all I see is Hunter Schafer as Zelda. Oh my God. Yes. Like literally everywhere. And I've seen it. I don't know. Maybe like like six months like maybe even before the movie was announced Yeah, because this is a Zelda movie up and coming live-action. God help us. Why would anyone?

It's just gonna be oh my god I'm sorry. Yeah, generally spent a decade talking about like making the halo thing and now it exists and no one cares. Yeah. Yeah Great. Yeah so but that is just like, mama, if you want to see, like, have some horrendous, like fucking transphobia. Hunter Schafer would have to be like, that would be an insane choice to do that. For her? For her. Not to say that, like, you know, I just, I'm like, it would be a shame that like, obviously

we live in a world, but like Diva, your management needs to say, do not do that. It will destroy parts of your life. You will just like, and they'll just. Yeah. Um, because the, yeah, like the fucking acid that is spat out in the comments section under every single one is crazy. Yeah. Um, and extremely disappointing, but the having like weeks of the Bella Ramsey and now this,

it's like, okay, like obviously it's all coming from like transphobia and so just completely fucked. Yeah. But if you are looking at a human being and looking at a character from a video game, like she is like perfection for the look of the character So it's like so what's the fucking argument like I mean it is just transphobia Well, that's but it's like what the fuck you're the same people that are Having a go at this person because they don't look like the character and then here's a great option for this character

but oh we don't look like the character and then here's a great option for this character, but oh, we don't want like, anyway, like, it's no surprise that the Dubros on the internet are just interested in like, oh, chicks. But like, oh, it's just so frustrating. When you think about what happened to Megan Fox, who is like probably like, cause it's like the main sin of Bella Ramsey is that she is not like she's like cock blocking their fantasy of like Ellie the character who like is like like a hot tomboy kind of vibe and they're like how do you not look exactly like this thing that was like formative part of my childhood

sexuality or whatever and like which they were already mad about when they made her a lesbian yes but then Zelda then Zelda, it's like, once again, something that has been so formative to young men and their weird sexuality. And this time it would be like, oh, by putting a trans woman in that role, you're now insinuating that I could be sexually attracted to a trans woman, which, shock horror, of course you're fucking, like, that I could be sexually attracted to a trans woman, which shock horror, of course you're fucking are, like pull up the search history. But like having that air down in public is like, no, no, no, no. And so it's like each time it's just about this like ultra, ultra fragile sense of their

own sexuality that's like, oh my God, no, like that means I'm not into, but anyway, so then finally there's like this woman that is like the only, like she's the fantasy pinup girl of like she's cis, she's the most conventionally attractive woman, she's like the most fucking stunning woman. And it's like the way that they then completely destroyed her and objectified her, cause it's like the only thing worse than being disliked by these men is being liked by these men. Like they are a destructive like fucking termites of people that just like chew through whatever they're

fucking interested in. Yeah. Aye, aye, aye. And disgusting. Yeah. Um, but yeah, I mean, I just, I think we should, this is like the best case for like not touching IP at all.

Cause I'm like, why would anyone want to do this? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm so nervous for that film. It's going to be a train wreck. It doesn't like, it just shouldn't, it shouldn't exist. Yeah. It just, it doesn't need't exist. It doesn't need to exist.

Do you know what's fucking good? The games. Go and play the games. Go and play the games. It just doesn't matter. But also it's like if you love the kind of feeling of playing a game like Legend of Zelda, then go and make something like it would look like go and watch a random fantasy film that is its own IP that can put you into that kind of zone.

Go on, which Lord of the Rings got like, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like, why does it need to be that thing in every form of media? It doesn't. Yes. It's a trick. But anyway, disappointing internet. I'm disappointed by that pit fire. Yeah. Oh, so that was my weekend.

Oh, good. Good. I like that. Yeah. What else did I do? I placed a big order with Hello Hello. Hello Hello? You know, what is it?

Chris and Mari's plant farm. Ah, well it's just Mari's. What? Didn't they divorce? I don't know, baby. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Fairly.

I think- They did get a messy divorce. I think that strange man is still in a tutu on their website. Yeah, I think he stuck around. I don't know. But, yes, my brother purchased me a gift voucher from there for my birthday. And now that I'm back home, I've done a big

order, so that's very exciting. Should come soon. Amazing. What did you get? Something with leaves? Yeah, I got some, I got some tiger grass as my little, um, outside of my, uh, little sunroom filter because it's a bit too sunny. Some of my bromeliads are bleached from the sun, so that will help with that. And then I got some green hydrangeas and a few other bits, but that's really exciting. I'm, I know, I know. Yeah. Do some breathing exercises to deal with all that excitement. Yes.

Um, yes. But I think that's about the most exciting thing that happened to me. Oh, actually a thirst trap on internet, um, convinced me that it needed to buy a Japanese gardening tool called a Horihori. Is that what it's called? Horihori? Which I did and it arrived. Sorry. And arrived today, but I haven't been home yet to receive it.

And I'm so excited. The guy is so hot. Who? He makes like, Is he that one that's into Pokemon? Yeah, he like makes Pokemon slash plant content. And he has a thick mustache. Yeah.

And I don't know, like muscles or whatever. And like a hot boyfriend as well. He has had different stages of public life with different hot boyfriends, yes. Oh, he goes to different boyfriends. He like used to have one, I don't know, when I looked on the like, are there nudes of this person? I then couldn't find any, but also unfortunately found this massive thread of like, Oh, well, things didn't work out with blah blah because of blah blah blah. I was like, why does anyone care about this? I just want to see if there was dick pics. Yeah. You know? Yeah. One day there not oh, there's just good bulge picks

Yeah good Yeah, I think I'm am I don't know that you know what I'm talking about exactly you're talking about I just think like I don't think you can walk through life looking like that man and just exist and have a normal brain. I Don't think he does. Um, you know, what is humbling about him though is that I, I'm not, I haven't gone across all channels, but I can't quite pinpoint where his success lies. Cause like the YouTube videos don't get too much. The Instagram don't get too much. I didn't go on Tik TOK.

Doesn't he have a job? Oh, I don't know. I think he's just got a day job. I don't think he's an influencer. Well then that's even more curious because the videos have a lot of editing. Like all those little Pokemon don't just insert themselves. Like, I don't know. Anyway, I'm sorry.

Like I would love it even more if he was like mid successful on the internet because then he's doing it because he enjoys it rather than doing it for purely attention. Just for you to take it. Maybe he's getting a cut when you buy the Japanese gardening supplies. Well, he didn't have a discount code for, um, oh my God, it's actually so cringe. The website is called Japanese tools, Australia. Um, yeah, but it's just like, of course I would shop there. Like it's so embarrassing. Have like a heading that just said, welcome Zelda.

No, being scammed. Do you know, I was listening to the woman, the founder of Tatcha, Tatcha Beauty, telling her story. And the pains they went to over this hour long interview, which was compelling and interesting, but to make it sound like she'd had the hardest time. She was like, so me and my boyfriend were in the buildings that were next door to 911.

And then after that we moved to San Francisco and I couldn't even pay my rent. And one day when I was pregnant, I went to the supermarket and tried to pay for my groceries and my credit card was declined. My boyfriend of course was working as a hedge fund manager or whatever. I'm like, and then they're like, anyway, it got so bad that we had to, uh, leave,

you know, our apartment. And so my parents let us live in the house that they had just recently bought near the airport in San Fran. And I was like, right. And then she's like, and then just like, Then when I was like going to Japan, I, you know, like I was pregnant and like I couldn't get my life together. So I went to Japan and I'm like, okay, it's not what I do when I'm broke and can't get my life together.

And then she's like, and I went to get this blotting paper that like you could only get from these gold... Oh my God, I've heard this story. Yeah. And then she was like, and then to buy some, like I was like, I want to sell some of these in America. How much would be a minimum order? And it turned out to be like a $30,000 price tag.

And then he's like, oh, well, how did you ever get that money? Obviously, because you were just wearing rags and eating, you know, dust. And then she was like, well, I sold my engagement ring. And that covered it. And I'm like, oh, you got $30,000 from the sale of your engagement ring? Okay, that's interesting. And then she's like, and then when we started, we were just like out of my own garage with the house that my parents owned and let me live in.

And then, you know, and he was like, oh, so you were just working. She's like, I didn't even pay myself a salary. And you were taking care of your kid? Yeah, I was taking care of my kid. Well, we also had a nanny. And then I was like, what the fuck? Just say like the reality of the situation. You couldn't have done this unless you were wealthy. And then she was like, and then, you know, we just had to keep getting startup capital from my family and like friends and family rounds. And I was like, okay, so you got funded in your entirely subsidized San Francisco home with your

nanny, with your husband working in finance. None of this is a tragedy. Stop it. You're psycho. Yeah. with your nanny, with your husband working in finance, none of this is a tragedy. Stop it, you're psycho. Yeah. And I, like, she's American Taiwanese. Like her background is Taiwan.

Yeah. And I just find it interesting. Did she want us to honor the Gator? Yeah. After an influential trip to Japan, she started her Japanese skincare line, which is fine. Yeah. But there is just like, I dunno, in a world where, I mean, and I don't know,

maybe this stuff is not the same conversation it was five to 10 years ago, but like not saying that it would be fine if a white person did this, but it's like, that's not like so much of that toucher public image is like the Japanese ritual and da da da da. It's like, but she's not Japanese. Yeah. And I just like, I don't know. It's not coming from the most authentic. Yes, and like the brand is so like the Americana version of like Japanese skincare.

Yeah. And it's just funny how it is tolerated because she's Asian, but she's not Japanese. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like skates under the radar of that conversation because people aren't willing to kind of like be like, you know, that there's a different different places. Like it's actually fine that she would angle that. And I mean, it's not about authenticity of Japanese beauty rituals. It's about selling moisturizer. Well, I think it just kind of like undercuts

the messaging of the brand. Because the messaging is so heavy with it. It's like the ritual and the geisha and the rice water. She talked about it a lot. Yeah, which like is all lovely, but like what? Cause you went to Kyoto? Like I did too.

Well, listen, if you want to get angry at her cause Zelda's moisturiser didn't go off. True. Vicky, why did you push me out of the business? But the other part that was really funny was just like, when we got bespoke packaging made, which not everyone can do. And it's very expensive. And I was like, yeah, I was going to say Vicky, what the fuck?

The touch, the toucher packaging. And this will change if I ever get invited to be a brand ambassador as an authentic Japanese woman. But the toucher for something at that price point, like for the listener who doesn't know. touch up for something at that price point, like for the listener who doesn't know, these containers can be like, I don't know, $300, like for a moisturizer or whatever. And they have these like purple lids that like looks like a Barney the Dinosaur toy, that purple, like shiny cheap plastic, and then a gold band that sits beneath the

rim of the lid, which is like not metal. It is just a sprayed, chromed, like plastic lip. Like a matchbox car. No, actually, sorry, matchbox cars, I'm actually made out of metal. Just like a shitty chrome toy and then white on the body of the fucking canisters. And like, it's just, it's so hideous. I've never seen something more ugly that is trying to do this kind of evocation of like clean, organic, Japanese like skincare. And I just, it's very, very ugly.

And I was like, I can't believe I'm listening to you talk about this, like it was a good thing. Did you see her do like the sponge demonstration? No. She loves doing the sponge demonstration. To articulate why like a, um, like a hydrating kind of toner step. Um, or like an essence is so pivotal to skincare, which like, I actually do believe it's my favorite step in my skincare routine. Um,

they should do this like test where it's like, and it is, I mean, it's like an incredible exaggeration, but like, so you've got two sponges and one you wet water essence and then one you don't. So it's like your skin, right? The wet sponge, when you then apply, I don't know, like, or like try to wipe up a spill is going to absorb it all. And the dry sponge will absorb next to nothing because it's so dry. I'm the dry sponge.

Yeah, baby. How is your skin going to absorb if you haven't doused it in hydration? That's exactly how skin works. See? Yeah. It do be like that. Anyway, she loves that demo as probably a lot of skincare founders do. Yeah, well, I think as a skincare founder or like if you're trying to sell a miracle

mop, you need to figure out the weird display that just completely fakes the version of you know? With the least natural colored liquid you can find. Yes. Yes. To women of the American Midwest, I present to you your face. Yes. It's a sponge and it's dry. And it's fucking dry. Bob, come in here.

My face is a fucking sponge. I need $50,000 fucking dollars. This beautiful Japanese woman, so many years. She's spoken to the geishas. Tell me, what does the Geisha do? Oh God, too real. Um, okay. Yeah.

Is that enough? That's enough. How does the world end today, Zelda Moon? Okay. So I knew it was my turn, but I didn't really think of anything and now I'm on the spot. Everything un-nice. I thought of a good one. Oh man.

Take it away. What if the children just exploded? Oh, fuck no. Sorry? I thought of a good one. Oh man, take it away. What if the children just exploded? Sorry. All the children, they just started combusting. Just exploding. Like enough force to kill the adults too. Yeah.

They're like miscellaneous vertebrae have gone through the adult skulls. And how would Carrie die? No, like there's a, there's a force that comes out like a small bomb. Yeah. But how would, how would, how would the girls of Sex and the Carrie die? No, like there's a force that comes out like a small bomb. Yeah, but how would the girls of Sex and the City die? Are they never near children? I guess she is near children. Sometimes Charlotte's kid would probably explode. So if you are near a child, then...

None of us would die right now. No, so there's a few that survive. Okay, so we're living. But... Yeah, what about gay men in their thirties? Yeah. We avoid children at all costs. Maybe it's just gay men in their thirties.

We just survive. Oh God. Well, that's how the world ends. And then they just start killing each other. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah. I can see it. Or maybe we have the best day of our lives. killing each other. Yeah. I guess so. Yeah.

I can see it. Or maybe we have the best day of our lives. Well, look, eventually, if all the children are exploding. Yeah. And gay men can't have kids. Yeah. Then they all die off. So if you were pregnant with a child.

Explode. Good. I'm glad we clarified that. And what age did people stop exploding? Yeah. 18? Or 21? No, once you hit puberty.

Oh. Yeah. Pre-pubescent children. Pre-pubescent children explode. You said you thought about this one? And you think about this one? Yeah. Yeah, I was just, I don't know.

You've had this on your mind? I remember watching a movie or something where... What movie? Someone was exploding. Okay. Okay. Actually, did you see that? What was that movie?

Which movie? It's the one that was exploding. Okay. Actually, did you see that movie? Which movie? It's like one, it's got that like, it's a high school film, and a kid starts exploding. And it's not a horror,

it's like a YA coming of age, it's based off a book, I can't remember what the fuck it's called, but like the, like people, kids in this one school start exploding one year. So it is, it's a thing. It's a movie already. Yeah. But it's really, that was actually kind of good. No original ideas anymore. But it was like fun because it was like the, they all kind of like the, the

whole community goes into like spiral because they're like kids are just exploding and it's these super gory explosions and the teachers and everyone like they put them into like a quarantine and it's like this gal and this guy they're like a bonding and it's kind of a romance and they're like we could explode any second and it's kind of speaking to this like specific Gen Z, like the world is ending and we're just in school kind of thing. Um, and like, like people are just kind of like, and kind of there's a school shooting angle in there as well.

And, but like kind of abstracts these ideas, but it's good. There you go. Well, watch that movie and you'll get an idea of what I'm saying. If only we could find out the name. It's impossible though. It'd be great to just be able to search it. No. Up in like a big book.

It is called Spontaneous. It follows a group of high school seniors as they grapple with a strange phenomena where students are spontaneously combusting. The movie explores the themes of love, loss and the fragility of life in the face of a terrifying and inexplicable event. Matt, they stole your idea. There's just no new ideas. It was cute though.

What a great film. What a great idea from Matt. From Matt. Matt did it. Watch out for the children the children oh my god okay okay we'll be right back beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep Welcome back, Lister. Ah, Dersha.

Up for discussion today. Today. It's gonna be the day that I bring it all back to you right now. I do not know the words to that song at all. Cause I don't believe that anybody feels the way I do about you now. And all the words that don't depend on my name. And all the words in the issue are remaining And there are many things that I would like to say to you But I don't know how

I said it maybe Why don't you come and save me? Save me Good afternoon I'm your wonder So our first topic for discussion That's your next spot number. Oh wow. Yeah.

Maybe we're doing Wonderwall. Duets. We need to do Wonderwall. Baby. So I went out last night and the drag queen performed Wonderwall. I think we could bring out an acoustic guitar and be like, one, two, three. Anyway, here's Wonderwall. Oh my God. here's Wonderwall.

Oh my God. I did Wonderwall at a festival once. Did you? What? Like, no, no, well, we were at this New Year's event, like festival with like 500 people. You're talking about the New Year's we went to wet? No, at a school camp and they played Wonderwall at wet. And then they were like, one of the activities was like a little nature walk.

And like there were all these like spontaneous little events and things happening at this event because it was very cute and kitschy. And we were- Like an arts festival. Yeah, we were in the forest and there was like one of those climbing walls. Was it Camp Nong? Is that what it was? Camp Nong, festival. Yeah, we were in the forest and there was like one of those climbing walls. Was it Camp Nong? Is that what it was? Camp Nong, yeah. Yeah.

And then we were like, there was a giant wall and then there was like a climbing wall and they were like, I want you to write something you're wondering about. Oh. And then stick it to the wall. And then so we all did it and then from the like forest, suddenly there was the sound of a guitar player and all these guys and gals came up and were playing Wonderwall and they sang it and everyone sang and they were having a great time. What?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh wow. What were you doing that New Year's? Yeah. What year was this? That would have been two thousand and... One. 2012 maybe?

Animal Crossing Jesus Probably Like that story where you're playing, what game was it? New Zelda and you pass out in the shower? Oh yes Why are you playing in the shower? Twilight Princess It wasn't even one of the main titles.

What? Twilight Princess was the main title. Launch game for the Wii. Twilight Princess? Yeah. I fucking hate that game. It's so ugly. But you passed out in the shower for it.

Yeah, because they played it for three days in a row. And then had a shower and passed out. That's what Zelda did instead of schoolies, everyone. You must have heard this story. Have I not told that story in the podcast? I think you've told that story in the podcast. I've never heard that. Matt, it's a good thing you blocked it out.

Maybe it was the one episode that Sam did. Oh yeah. Matt, you never, so Zelda, everyone was going on schoolies and Zelda... It wasn't schoolies or maybe it was, I don't know. No, it was schoolies. Because it came out in, it was the end of 2006. It was a launch game for the Wii. No, it must've been 2005.

Well, you did the Wii come out. That woman died. That woman died because she held her piss. Cause she held her piss. Anyway, getting off topic. Yeah. What's the- Wait, off topic?

What's the topic? Planes. Which plane gets into the- Wait, off topic? What's the topic? Planes. Which plane gets into the bunker? Oh, specifically listener. Um, I think they need a bit of context. Yeah. Well, you tell the story. It's your husband.

Yes. Yeah. So my husband, who I should say, despite the fact that occasionally on this podcast, I might have referenced that someone might be hot. I'm saying it merely for illustrative purposes. I don't think they're hot. I think the only person that's hot is my husband, the hottest man in the world. Whoa.

I just had to make that clear. An official statement on the record. Wow. Okay. Fear that there might've been some conversations had off air. No, I just, I say that to clarify. Um, anyway, my husband recently got a call. Piping hot.

Hot. Yeah. Hot, baby. Caliente. That's right. That's what they call it. Fuego mi amor. Yeah.

Um, anyway, but so my husband, after I'd just gotten back from Cannes, he then, we had a few days of actually being in the same state. And then his boss called and was like, actually, the big boss was meant to be going to Darwin to go to a remote community on an island off the coast of Darwin. My husband had lived in Darwin for two years, and so they were like, do you want to go? But you'd have to fly out tomorrow morning. And so I went up to the widow's walk with my white handkerchief, and I waved it into the sky as my husband flew off to take care of those old crowds. The what? and flew off to take care of those old Krauts.

The what? I don't know, going off to World War II. Oh. I thought, what did you say? The Krauts, the sour Krauts. Krauts, oh. I thought you said Krabs. I was like, is that one of those crab islands? You know those migratory crabs?

My husband is a professional crab stomper. Stomper? Yeah, take care of them. Get rid of, not take care of them, but take care of them. Why are there so many fucking crabs? He's not crab stomper. Anyway, so then he flies up and then he, you have to do a bit of island hopping to get to this island.

And so, and like, when I, like, it's like tiny, tiny, tiny community and, um, tiny, tiny, tiny, tiny landing strip. And so he gets off at Darwin, then he gets on the first plane. And these planes, okay, to give you a picture, had five people, including the pilot, in this plane. That's how small this plane is. Small plane. Small plane.

And he's taking off. All is fine. But you know, every time you get into one of these tiny, tiny planes, you're like, okay, but there's like such a thin sheet of metal between me and the outside world. There's not like the like lie of someone coming up to you with like a beverage cart. Like we are aviating right now. Yeah. Anyway, they're coming for landing and the pilot who's 26 years old a young boy Unless there is a fucking old-ass

Tom Hanks and Sully looking man getting into the cockpit. I'm not getting on that plane. Oh Anyway, so he's like the brakes have failed You don't need brakes in the air. No, you don't need them. You just need them when you come out of the air and onto the tiny landing strip. Because if you don't have brakes, then you just skid off the runway and crash. And at that speed, a crash will kill you all. It will Buddy Holly, Big Bopper, liquefy your brains.

Yeah. Anyway. Like Matt's children, explode. Not my children. No, well, that is what you were proposing. Part of it. Anyway. She gets bed. My daughter just gets bed. She would never explode. She's an angel.

Well, she's an angel. Well, she's an angel after she's burned. Anyway, they land and they crash. They are in a plane crash. My husband was in a plane crash and he's dead now. No, so they skitter off the runway. I don't have all the details. It's the hottest she's ever been. Jet fuel doesn't burn hot enough to melt a steel beam. Sorry. Sorry. Different kind of podcast.

Um, so they crash, but the pilot angles it in such a way that they don't die. it in such a way that they don't die. Mm. Okay, good. But do you know what? Later on, people were like, were you on that plane? He meant some aviation bros and some event thing. Sick. Not an event, just later on.

They were like, people have been talking about that flight. That guy came in far too fast and he should have explained to like where he was landing that the brakes weren't working because you do a test on the brakes before you even start landing. It's part of the procedure. And then you would know if your brakes aren't working and then they can put something down on the runway that slows you down. And number three, you would take, you'd come down and you would take back off and then you'd be able to go around like basically there's a bunch of procedures that this kid did not do and instead just like crashed. Just winged it. Yeah. Wow.

Like a bad Sully, evil Sully. Not Sully. You never saw Sully? What? He's the one who landed the plane in the river. Yeah. In the middle of the Hudson River. The Hudson. In New York. What are you talking about? Sully, Tom Hanks. He's a famous pilot. He landed the plane in the river. Why would I watch this movie? I'm already bored. He's not a movie. He's a real life person. He's a real man, but they made a movie out of it. Oh, I put Tom Hanks in it? Yeah.

Boring plus boring? Wait, you think Tom Hanks is boring? Yeah. What do you think he's boring in? Toy Story? When he's in Toy Story? Oh, God. He's Woody. Let's not go down this road. That's why I don't's boring in. Um, Toy Story? When he's in Toy Story. He's Woody.

Let's not go down this road. That's why I don't like Toy Story. You don't like Toy Story. I don't like Toy Story. Why don't you like anything good? What? You watch all of the Handmaid's Tale but you don't like the... We're talking about planes. You just...

Zelda. If you get to Jurassic Park 3. Zelda. Papulus, plane crash. Toy Story 4. One of the best movies ever made. All right. You should watch it. Do I have to watch the first three?

What are the what are the Tom Hanks? Don't you like I I mean, is he in? What's eating Gilbert Grape? No, that's Johnny Depp and Leonardo DiCaprio. OK, what's another movie that's like thatpp and Leonardo DiCaprio. Okay. What's another movie that's like that? You've got actor face blindness. My wife has this too.

My wife. She does. She thinks everyone is Matt Damon. Oh God, Kajun's the worst for that. What is Tom Hanks in? Say some more things. I know what is in. Saving Private Ryan.

Oh, so boring. Have you seen that? Jenny? I maybe. You have not seen that film. I would have seen it when it was on like Channel 10 on a Friday night. You've no way you've invested in giving your attention to it in a way that you could call it boring.

Um, Castaway? Yeah, I've seen that. Did you like it? No, I don't like that movie. Helen Hunt. She played. She's the top and tail. I think she's the wife. Huh? Well, not the wife. Is Tom Hanks when Harry met Sally? No, he's, um, he's, you've got mail.

Isn't that Tom Hanks? That's Tom Hanks. Oh, catch me if you can. He's Mr. Fox. Catch me if you can. He's great in that. Catch me if you can. Big.

You ever seen big? No. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's a big guy. He's, you've got mail. Isn't that Tom Hanks? That's Tom Hanks. Oh. Catch me if you can. He's Mr. Fox.

Catch me if you can, he's great in that. Catch me if you can. Big, you ever seen Big? Big. About a 13 year old boy that gets big in the... Forrest Gump, that's the thing I thought when Gilbert Gregg. Forrest Gump. No, see I hate that movie, so boring.

You can hate Forrest Gump and like Tom Hanks. I just don't care. You've seen the one movie. But you haven't seen him in anything. You don't know what you don't care about. You know what I do like is that house sitter movie. That's of that genre. Steve Martin.

Yeah. But more importantly, Goldie Hawn. Yeah. And that fabulous house with that long corridor between two houses. That's crazy. I can't believe you don't like, are you never seen Toy Story? I've, I ha like I saw Toy Story as a town.

I don't think I ever saw two and then three came out as like a remember Toy Story and then four came out. Cause when three came out, it was made money. So, but I've seen either three or four. I saw the one that had like an incinerator at the end. Yeah. Is that three or three? Then I've not seen four and I haven't seen light years. Well, I don't think you need to. Anyway, I just think in the first Toy Story film, film, there is a single leg with a high heel and a fishing line that is a character in the film. Really?

Yeah. No, that's one of the like... There's all the monsters that the crazy boy next door makes and they meet the monsters when they end up at Sid's house and there's a doll head with one eye and like Meccano spider legs and then a single doll's leg with a fishing line. And to me that says, Shelter would like this. I'm quite intrigued by that. And disappointed to find out that's not up your alley.

Oh, Kirsty alley. Also, I feel like you and Tom Hanks in that film have so much in common. Oh, no. He's kind of like, we just need to do our job, everyone, and this new guy is ruining things. Oh, my God. Inletible content. That is too real.

And then Buzz ends up in drag in that film at a tea party, because he's being taken by a little girl and forced to play in her room and he's like I'm not Buzz Lightyear anymore I'm Mrs. Nesbitt. Is he into it? Yeah I feel like he has an identity crisis yeah but maybe you could try and recreate that single leg with a fishing line look as a drag out. I would love that. She's so fierce. All right. Should we do this for our next movie club?

Toy Story. Toy Story? Yeah. We'll do a whole Tom Hanks, our next movie club. Yeah. Other than Zabba. After where we did the others. Did anyone contact you about the others?

The others? The others. It's already left your brain. What do you mean? Last week, we talked about the others. The others? The others. It's already left your brain. What do you mean? Last week we talked about the others for about 45 minutes. Yeah. Did anyone, no. Did anyone say anything to you about the others?

I received a lot of feedback today regarding the various earrings and I had a lot of lovely little chats. So I was like, what's your favorite? Do people not, do people, people are okay with that? Yeah. People love the earrings. Yeah. Do you the earrings. Yeah.

Do you think it's a good sequel to- Christine sent me more context for the- Christine was the earring holder. Okay. So did she not like our review? She did. I sent her, I apologized for us, uh, making fun of all of her belongings. And then I was like, surely you knew.

She said it was most enjoyable, thank you. And a little bonus for you. Oh my gosh. Which indeed I loved Christine. So it's a closeup of the whale earrings, which are quite more sparkly than I had realized. I don't recall asking for a close up on the fucking whale. The whales are sitting up like that

because it's how they sleep. Oh, that is nice. And then look at this photo. That is nice. Of fucking sperm whales sleeping vertically. That is so cute. I should have expected you to know that. Me too. And I said, oh my God, this is what I said.

Oh my God, this is an angelic revelation. That's the name of Matt's apocalypse as well. Yeah. Anyway. Yes, she liked that. She's okay with it, but- Oh yes. And then, so lots of chats about the earrings.

I had someone, oh, a few, a few people, uh, were haunted by your paint story. Yes. Um. I feel that I've set something amongst the pigeons there. Well, mama. And then, no, no one has, uh, reported back on. No one cares about us talking about the others. No.

Oh. Yeah. We should have put it on movie club. But I filled out, oh, what, what, what, alert listener. The poker spreadsheet is up to date. And indeed, when I finished updating it, I took delight in putting the footsteps upstairs from the others in the spreadsheet because

we had previously put in a very similar thing that was like, um, like the murmurings, it was the sleep and it was like, we got in the sleep paralysis demon and then we also put in the murmurings of others in the house. So there's so many like others in the bunker, which feels quite appropriate. That's good. Yeah. But, uh, yeah, anyway, the plane from last is a great option because it has a Vanjali and Lily on it, which propo, but back in the day, fabulous.

Yeah. Then it has the hot main guy. What's he in? He's in- Heartier Five. Right? That's hot. Hotter than Tom Hanks.

Matthew Fox. I don't think that Matthew Fox is hotter than Tom Hanks. What? No. What? Tom Hanks in his prime diva. What do you mean? Tom Hanks. What? No. What? Tom Hanks in his prime diva. What do you mean?

Tom Hanks hot. I'm going to look it up. Matthew Fox is a pretty boy, but that's his only thing. Tom Hanks has vibes. How do you know the names of all these people? What do you mean? Like, how do you know the name of that person? The who's on the show that you watched every episode of.

Yeah. You should know, read the credits. Nah. Tom Hanks Heart. Oh, he's in that, he's in that like the day goes over and over again movie. No. What? That's Phil Murray.

Really? These people are all so whatever. Hang on. Now what's the other person that's hotter? What's his name? Matthew Fox. He is so hot. I think that that's the thing though is that he's only hot. Yeah. Whereas Tom Hanks has a bit of like some. He's got movie star rears whereas Matthew Fox has like daytime TV actor rears. Well yes he, I don't know what else has been in other than last and party of five and buddy of five apparently. Um, anyway, so that's a great plane, but what works against that plane, I think also was previously discussed on these podcasts is that like weird season three slash four opening episode where like, Oh no, well, there's people who run the planet as well. And they just injected a whole new cast of characters mid, you know, seven season story. Sorry, they weren't there.

I didn't see them. I didn't see them. Just because you've got Tom Hanks or whatever in the background, doesn't mean that like, yeah, like, oh, it's just from a different perspective. That's why we didn't see them. No, they weren't there. Ugh. So that they weren't there. Ugh.

I don't think- So that works against the plane. Well, the issue is, I don't know that you're sympathizing with those poor writers and what they went through. What? They got a smoke monster and some fabulous contraptions and scientists to engage with. But they had to- That's good. They had to make so much more TV back then

Yeah, it's just not fair. Okay, then there's the plane from Yellow Jackets Oh, no, I'm not talking about that fucking plane. Yeah, I mean like it's just Like if we're not gonna put in the lost plane, we're not gonna put in the fucking Yellow Jackets plane. No Then there's the plane from Jurassic Park three. Yeah. Which. What's the conceit in Jurassic Park three? Why are they going back to that island? So, oh, it's been a little while. So some stupid rich family plane crash and they trick in Malcolm into like doing it,

doing it like from the air tour of the islands with them because their children are stranded there or something. But then, um, ha ha. Gotcha. We actually needed you to come and be our tour guide to help us find out children. Maybe I don't know It's a train wreck. Oh, but then there's the hot guy that hides the velociraptor eggs in his bag. Look, it's been a while I don't know Sounds like that plane is very important. No, it's not But what I do enjoy and maybe is in my mind from that movie is like an ejected plane seat

That's caught in a jungle tree. Like that woman that happened. Do we already tell this story on this part? Oh my God. I can't remember. But that woman who flew over the Amazon with her mother and then got sucked out. Yes. Yes. And yes, we did. Yeah. Um, but that's a great play. Um, but I think my pitch for which there's also like, I don't know, paper airplane or something. Budgie the helicopter.

I guess technically a helicopter is not a plane. But he had plane friends. Yeah. Planes. Planes. That's a Boeing 746 or whatever. No, but I think my pitch is a plane that disappears in the Bermuda Triangle. Oh, just misc plane.

Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty good. Although that freaky triangle. Yeah, that's so fun. Would you prefer Bermuda Triangle? Yeah. Third, Circle of Hell, you know, Circle Triangle. What's the square thing that's spooky?

Square zone. The square. The square. Is Square. Like Stonehenge a square? No. No. Rectangle, scary rectangle. Oblong. But thankfully we're not doing

which square object goes in the bunker. Thank God. Yeah. I rue that day. It's going to be hard to decide. Do you have any other planes to discuss, dear? Yeah. Well, I love the idea of a double decker plane.

Wait, do we do which object from a plane? Oh. Because we definitely already have the seat that the woman sits in, the flight attendant. Yes, we do. And the seat that the woman sits in, the flight attendant. Yes, we do. And the little phone. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, which we might need to take that little phone out. Cause have you been seeing what's happened on those flights to Orlando in the States where they like got delayed? So they let some little girl get up and sing Disney songs. I did see that. It made me sick. Into the defiling the little phone, the stewardess phone. I'm like, that is not what that's for. That's for a very bored woman in her mid thirties

with like eyeshadow that's like stained her eyes. Yeah, increased. To be like, thank you so much for flying with us, United. We are, if you are arriving home, what do they say? Oh, if you're going on to your next destination, that line. Oh, welcome back to Melbourne. Oh.

It's currently. The temperature is currently at 16 degrees. It's currently the worst fucking thing you could think of. Yeah. And wherever you're from, it was nicer. If you're continuing on with us here today, I love that. But also I'm like, I don't think people know what the seatbelt sign does anymore. Also like, what the hell? Sorry, this is just flashback to flying.

When the meal services commenced, what are we doing? Like, how do you get to the bathroom? Oh mama, that is... When the meal service has commenced, what are we doing? How do you get to the bathroom? Oh mama, that is, oh, I witnessed this fall apart last week, flying back from Adelaide. There was this commenced meal service and in between the two trolleys, a woman got up and was like, I need to go to the bathroom. And the, the backend trolley woman was like, you can't get through. You have to wait. And it was so like customer service that is not like anything you say.

It was like, you have to wait, go and sit down. And the woman was like, I can't do that. And so she like didn't really even ask, but a stranger who had an aisle seat, she like stepped into in front of him, like in his, like there is no room. And she was like, go past and then I'll sneak out. And like this random guy was just like crushed by this woman who needed to use the bathroom. Yeah, right. It was crazy.

That is, I mean, she was like, bitch, I'm about to piss. Yeah. It was like, I gotta go. Like, I must go. But do you know what, to be fair, that better, better to... Oh, better out than in, darling. Not, not in the aisle, diva. Like, let's, let's not leave this poor woman to be incontinent in the fucking seat. Then she's going to be sitting in.

Piss for the next six hours. Sitting in piss. That's not good. It's probably low on the list. Yeah, good. Yes. Sit. Although you really can't smell anything in planes.

Ooh. Um. It's like the- Something else crazy I witnessed, I was sitting between like a, actually, wow, okay, so, um, something else I witnessed was when everyone was like loading onto the plane, this person who was on an aisle seat had to keep getting up to let the people on the window seat and the middle seat in. And every time she did, she hoisted herself up holding the chair in front of her.

No. Had someone sitting in it. Okay. And she did it two times. That's crazy. It's like, are you? But no, can I say that I was traveling with my friend Annie, if you're listening to this, I'm sorry.

But I was like, Annie, what the fuck? After we got off the first flight, every time you stood up, you grabbed the guy's seat and he was like, woo, woo. No. And I was like, you didn't even notice there was a human being sitting there. Oh my God. When I got on my last flight, I was like, like stuck in with these two, like a gorgeous Bogan couple who like, the guy didn't eat anything the entire time, but every time

the drinks cut went past, he was like, Oh, can I get two of the cans of Coke? Just Coke. Just Coke, but like two. Yeah. Cause one wasn't enough. Oh, have you seen that small can? But he always said, please don't think. And I was like, oh, you're so nice, but what about Kenny? But he always said, please don't think. But I was like, well, that's it.

I'm not pissing. Do you know what I mean? Like, I was just like, I would sooner like piss and shit myself than like tell these people to get up. And the GF of the Bogan couple, you know how I said they were actually all right? And recently just returned to my memory. He was all right.

She was the single worst vibe-less person in the world. No vibe. No vibe. She sat down. She was like, there were clearly, there was something going on, but she was like, don't tell them, don't wake me if the people come past. And so she like puts her neck pillow on. I don't know why these

vibe-less, evil people always have neck pillows. It's like something, it's like maybe if you're spineless, you need the neck pillow to prop you up. But she did not smile the whole time, didn't have a single... This is what I expect when you sit down in a plain seat with people you're going to spend 10 hours with. You do the customary hi, or like little smile. Doesn't have to be hi, doesn't have to be verbal, but just an acknowledgement like we're here, we're about to go through this like cattle moment, and now we just need to get through it together.

And that will include, I will have to get up and go to the bathroom at some point. Oh, sorry, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you'll be okay. I won't do it more than once, but I will do it because it's gonna be 10 hours. And she... I looked her in the eyes in those two pit-like voids she called eyes. Yeah. There was nothing happening there. And she went to sleep. And then later on,

I saw them at the luggage carousel and she was stood back, like arms crossed, just looking into the void, waiting for him to get her bags and I'm like... Diva, not into it. I'm just like, that is actually wretched. I'm like, you at least stand near the carousel and pretend like you're going to actually do anything for yourself. She had a terrible vibe. Vab.

I don't like it. What was her hair like? It was like a carpet of glossy brown hair. But it was like, you could tell that she was a faded beauty. Oh, OK, yeah. And I was imagining the awful Bali vacation where these two met and fell in love over like bintang

like a decade ago. And now Santa Cruz sucks. Yeah. And he was really putting on the moves on because obviously he's got charisma and she was a bit quiet, but she like, you know, they ended up together. Now it's kind of, did she have a nose ring? No, no, no, no, no. This woman could have been like a yoga teacher.

Not a yoga teacher. Oh, that kind of... Like a fitness like lady. Burgana. Like, no, yeah, she was perfected. Yes. And she wouldn't have had like a Burgana voice, but she is a Burgana. Oh, yes.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. And she would have been like icy to a new woman in her office for three years without any like reason or clarification She doesn't even know why she hates her. Yeah, but like that woman and her haven't like just the worst vibes. Yeah um I love it. Thank you for that. Yeah

so when I Got on the plane back from Adelaide to Melbourne I had pre downloaded a few videos to consume from YouTube. And I had downloaded the Baby Lasagna V. Caria Eurovision video because I was still obsessed with it at that point. You're like, I can watch this. How many, how many hours is it today? One hour, one hour, 20 minutes divided by four minutes is, um, and then I, it was also the, you had said, Jennifer, she's back regarding the AMA.

And so I downloaded Jennifer's medley, Janet's performance, and someone I didn't know, Renee, Renee. Rap. Maybe. Someone said that that was good. Yeah. And I downloaded it. I watched maybe two seconds.

It was like, nah. But anyway, so those were the videos that I had downloaded. And I was like, yep, that'd be great. And then I'll just listen to like something and that's the trip. Can I ask quickly? I need some clarification because I've been seeing this more and more. Oh dear. Like when people, I've downloaded this for the flight kind of thing, which I don't get.

I think this is because my question, like where are you putting the iPhone to watch it? Well, yeah, it's awkward. Like, I'm like, even if I had a new blockbuster film, like, I'm not watching it with the tray table down, like, staring with my little neck down. Because, okay, so this is where my story is going, dear. Oh, God. So I get on the plane, and I'm the first person in my aisle, like in my little...

Oh, you're probably not the first. But I'm in the middle. So then thankfully, oh, we had him. The guy behind me getting on the plane was the guy in the window seat. So I sat down and then he was like, oh, I'm here. And I was like, Oh, no worries. So I got up straight away. Then he went and sat in the window seat, a very well-dressed businessman. He was very hot. Um, but like nice, like not a cunt, he didn't even hit me. Yeah. Um, but he was just like, yeah.

Um, and then next to me on the right hand side, after some time, someone appeared who was like very sleepy traveler. Um, so that, and like zero vibe. Yeah. That's fine. I like zero vibe. Yeah. Like nothing.

Whereas like businessman, like, you know, like I passed him his little, um, muffin snack that he requested. So he gave you a muffin snack. Yeah. I said no. Oh, you didn, like I passed him his little muffin snack that he requested. They gave you a muffin snack? Yeah. I said no. Oh, you didn't. Wait, you said no. I don't need a little muffin snack. What? No. Do you think it's free?

Because then I'm burdened by the rubbish and then I'm holding rubbish. You put it in a little pocket in front. No, because that's then I, no, I don't. You can't just like, listen, it's built into the prize. Yeah, but I don't. Take your just like listen it's built into the price yeah but I don't take your muffin bag I didn't need a coffee I didn't need them you didn't even get a drink no beverage devilish you I brought my own water don't help me I can do it myself oh my god that is insane so I needed nothing god that's awful I don't trust people that do that. Oh my God.

But so anyway, we sit down, we take off and I've just been like, I don't think I was even listening to anything. And then I like put my headphones in and the guy on my left is like looking out the window, the hottie. Why is the window in? Oh, wait, you're on the other side. I'm like, in my mind, you're on the other side of the plane. Oh, sorry. I got to re-jig my imagination of where you were sitting. Yes, yes, yes. Sorry. Sorry, window's on the left-hand side. Yes, sorry, I had it on the right. Oh, okay, I didn't clarify that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's good. Just felt like Benny was telling us really, because of the other side. That's okay, well, that's why we clarify. Thank you for inquiring. That's good. But then I was like, well, it's about time that I

see how Jennifer did at the AMAs. I'm sitting in the middle. Also like the guy on the left was like really fit. So he like, didn't expand beyond his chair allocation. But the guy on my right, chair allocation, but the guy on my right, um, expanded beyond the chair. Expanded upon his allocation a slight bit. So, um, so like I had no armrest the whole flight. Like I was just like hands in left. At that point, I think. No, no armrest.

You've got to pull up the armrest. Pull it up? That's I. So I'll bum the kiss in? What? What? pull it up? So I'll bump the kiss in? What? I know, but they're kissing anyway beneath them. Yeah, but at least it's obscured by the armrest.

I don't want to just let it happen. Also like it's an arbitrary divide because with this Bogana guy, what happened was when I got to the, like he was like we were like Bogan guy no you say no like I was like I got up to go to the bathroom Yeah, and put up the armrest to get out. Ah, yes, so I'm big fan of I think everyone should do that Yeah, also you can put up the one into the aisle as well. If you go to that little button beneath And then just open it up. Anyway, that's what what you should do so you don't have to go over it Mmm, and then when I came back he hadn't put it down and I was like amazing because it's like finally our butts can kiss

And I was like, thank God because I just don't think we would have ever done it but it was like obviously like He was like needed that extra space. Yeah, and I was like, I'm fine with our butts kissing. Yeah. Because I'm like, this should just be a couch that we're all sitting on. Mm. I think those armrests are so annoying, they dig into people.

No. You need it. No. Go on, sorry I interrupted. No, no, no, no, that is hilarious. Well, you don't need to be cruel. No, but, no, no. That is hilarious. Well, you don't need to be cruel. No, but it is. Like, I mean, both situations are completely fucked. So like, what hope is there? Completely fucked?

Yeah. I don't want to touch someone that doesn't want me. No, like, no, it can't, can't it just be a wall between us all and we sit in silence? You know, can't the meals just come down from the tube in the room. You don't even want the meal. Well, well, well, anyway. So there I was with my hands like very much like resting on my lap. I was like, well. Which is against the unspoken thing that you get both arm rest in the middle.

Well, yeah, I got none. Which I was disappointed in hot businessmen on the left. Cause I was like, Diva, you have the wall. You have the wall and an armrest attached to the wall. If you get the wall, you don't get the other armrest. Baby, lean over and give me the, give me that. You actually do need to just spend your time focusing on how much you're leaning onto that wall.

Yes. Cause you don't onto that wall. Yes. Because you don't have any business over here. In the middle. No, man. No. So, did he? Man. Use both.

Like, he was, his elbow was on that one between us. That's fucked. Yeah. And then old Sleepy on the right was also elbow on. So I was a little- That's fucked. You need to assert yourself. No, I was a little sandwich. I was the, I was the Rachel Griffiths in that sandwich, if you will. Rachel sandwich. Yeah. So anyway, that wasn't going to stop me from checking in on Jennifer Lopez at the AMAs.

So then I, in my lap, like as far away as I could, because otherwise I was like, you know, 20 centimeters away from my face, played the video and I, sleepy head wasn't paying attention, but businessmen kept looking over, being like, I am sitting next to this faggot who is watching Jennifer Lopez at the AMA. He didn't know that that was Jennifer Lopez. He didn't, but he knew I was watching something fruity. Yeah. And then it went into Janet Jackson, which was real fruity.

And then I think by the time Eurovision happened, like... Diva, I can't believe that was your inflight entertainment. Yeah. Did you have a screen in front of you? No. Okay. No. Um, there was a point where I was listening to the pod our podcast because I wanted to review, I wanted to review the awful things I'd said about Adelaide. Um, that was the next best chance I had. Yeah.

And then I kept chortling in this silent airplane. So then I had to turn it off because we're just so funny. So that was- God, that's sick. Yeah. Anyway, far out, man. I feel like this is really, we got to move on. So anyway, not that flight or that plane

because it was cursed. Yeah, right. Any other good plane? Snakes on a plane? Is this a plane? Let's get these motherfucking snakes off this motherfucking plane. I think I watched that for my 15th birthday party with all my friends. I love it. Oh, I'm ready for it. Come on, bring it.

You know the Cobra Starship song that they did for that? I haven't seen Snakes on a Plane. And Leighton Meester is in the music video and they're like trying to get... Because she's like in the song obviously. Yeah. You know? Hmm. Okay.

I don't know. I so kiss me goodbye cause we're not gonna make it out alive. Did you know? Kiss me goodbye. I can see the venom in your eyes. Did you know that there is a comic book panel where Mystique turns into a jet plane, Mystique plane. And it was like part of this whole discourse about like, what can Mystique turn into? Can she turn into like a matter that is not organic?

And yes, she can cause check it out. Here she is as a jet plane. That's crazy. That's love that. How's that canon? Anyway, mistakes already in the bunker. So I guess we do have a plane. Um, remain plane in your version is just from remain with two airplane wings stuck to her. Rebecca get in. Oh, that's a good one. Split you in half now and play lost. I like the spruce moose. Yes. It's called the spruce moose.

I said, get in. Oh my God. Yes. That would fit in the bunker. Yeah. From Simpsons for those of you who don't know. Um, Mr. Burns Burns makes a little plane. A funny little joke.

When he's being- Wait, it's a model airplane. J Edgar Hoover. He's doing a whole J Edgar Hoover thing. Anyway, oh my God, help me. This is so funny. I love the spruce moose. Smithies, I've designed a new plane.

I call it the spruce mousse. plant sir oh my beloved plant how I miss her but to hell with this get my razor draw a bath get these Kleenex boxes off my feet certainly sir and the jars of urine oh we'll hang on to those now to the plant we'll take the spruce moose up in but sir I said up in okay that's look that that in? Okay, it's Bruce Mouset is. I love it. I mean, there's nothing else to say. Perfect. Goodbye.

So did you and that business guy end up smashing? Nah. You didn't suck his dick? I did not suck his dick. Your asses didn't kiss? No. Well, they did under the armrest. A secret from under the armrest.

Yes. Do you know what I hate? No. Neither do I. No, I just, when you go to the bathroom and they're on the plane and there's like the little like ashtray. Yeah.

I'm like, what? From a bygone era. But I'm like, you installed the no smoking lights everywhere. And now I'm sitting in there like, but just in case. It's just like, what? Is it illegal and will I get fined or not? As long as you bought it out. What did you think about Britney flying that plane? Britney Spears smoking on that plane.

Oh, did I have something funny to say about Taylor Swift in planes? I don't know. What do you think about Taylor Swift in planes? What have I done? Her PJs? No, that she, I don't know, expensive jets. Yeah, her PJs. PJs.

Private jets. Oh, Jesus Christ. Wait, what did you say about British? If you could, would you fly in a PJ or do you think first class is better? I, you know, in like the movies. The movies. How like the private jet is like a little, you know, like dining room.

Yeah. Where you like sit and there's like a little table, it's carpeted perhaps. Yeah. There's fabulous like wood panels everywhere. Is that real? Yeah. Does any plane look like that?

Yes. I've never been in one. Have you? No, I've never been in a PJ. Yeah, so how do you know that it exists? It's like God in planes. If you know, you know. That look like that. Yeah. I mean, listen, I don never been a PJ. Yeah. So how do you know that it exists? It's like God in planes. If you know, you know. They look like that.

Yeah. I mean, listen, I don't want to say... I can't confirm the existence of anything I haven't seen in my own personal life, but I do have a strong suspicion. I don't know. But they also seem like... Okay. So when I'm on a plane and they take me to like a cubicle, and I'm still in sight of like, in the fantasy world where I'm in first class or business, like I'm like, I'm still in sight of what regular plane travel looks like to me at my station in life.

But when you're on a PJ and they start outfitting it to look like... Does anybody call on that? You never watch Succession? Yes. They're like, oh, dad's starting to take away the PJs. Oh gosh, I miss that. Well, it's because you're watching everything for two seconds in the broad daylight. No, I just am so bored by everything that isn't that redhead woman.

Sarah Snook? Oh no, the other one. No, I just am so bored by everything that isn't that redhead woman. Sarah Snook? Oh no, the other one. No, yeah. I also loved that, um, that like older woman. Yeah. She was always so grunt tilde at everyone. Yeah. Love her. Incredible. Yeah. Well, you know that. Yeah. Anyway, um, no, but then it's like, once you, once you get away from like a regular commercial like carrier and you're suddenly on a PJ and then it's like fitted out, suddenly it's like it loses its appeal of like, oh my God, look at how much extra space I have compared to those people. And instead it's just like, it's kind of looks like a shitty caravan. It's very caravan.

Like it's like now it's just like a bad living room in the sky. Yeah. And so it's like, it makes it's like, it loses its context. Yes. Yeah. So if you had a PJ, Yeah, I'd put a few poor people in the back. Just for context.

Just to make sure that I'm like, how's it going back there? I mean, someone else. Is your ass kissing with someone else's over there? Can I come out of my seat? You're sitting on that large chair. You can come out when your time comes. Wow. Yeah. Okay. Well, with that out the way, let us move on to our second topic of discussion

today, which is four hours in. Can you believe we're up to section two? Now I didn't put a lot of thought into this one. If you can imagine, which string's going into the bunker. I hate string. Say more. I just think it's so annoying. Here's my theory. I call it my string theory. No, I just think like the second, like it's like life is just a series of strings that are like, like this, like I just hate how organized

they arrive. Yes. And then how quickly they become so chaotic. And when they do arrive organized, depending on how organized, I hate trying to find where the string starts. It's all wrapped up. What witch machine made that happen? Probably pig witch.

I find that so annoying. And then you try to give up and you're like, well, just cut a start. Oh my God. That's death. Can I say to you? Yeah. I was going to this Bendigo bingo, Bendigo say that three times fast. And I could not find for the life of me my cincher.

And I have another cincher, so it's okay. But guess what I've done with my other cincher? Because the ribbon had been breaking, I'd taken all the ribbon out. No. And I am now, I'd taken all the ribbon out. No! And I am now, I need to leave this house in order to arrive at Bendigo in time. Yeah. For the beginning, the first show at 7, I need to be leaving now at 4.30 something.

Yeah. I need to leave. Oh my God. My makeup's on, everything's on, but now I have a cinch that's completely needs to be threaded. Yeah. So I feel like rush around my house finding some ribbon. No.

And get it laced up in the worst way possible. Yeah. God, I hate my life. Drag maintenance. Like no. Yeah. Like it's just you get in drag and then you get out of drag. To maintain it is like an additional step in between those times.

And that's really invasive. Clean the lace. Clean the tights. Clean the outfits, some of which can't go through a machine. Some of them need a bit of stain removed. That's why it's just like... And then a heel, that strap now on that crystal clacker is broken. You won't remember until the next time you put it on.

I will not remember and then I'll be, I won't put it on. I'll throw it in a bag and then I'll arrive at the gig and I'll be putting on a crystal clacker with a broken strap. And also what now? Am I going to really fix that or should I just throw it away yeah now tell me oh you should throw it away unsafe you can't fix that we fucking crazy well you could get those like no straps no but no yeah it's done it's actually done can I say despite everything I just said when I

was prepping for that gig I did at Molly's, do you remember when we had the improv night, how like part of the heel had like, yeah, the little, um, soul lip I remembered and the day before the Molly's gig, I like context cemented it back on and then I wore it and it was fine. Okay. So, okay. So it took maybe 30 seconds. To solve this issue.

Maybe 20 seconds, no, not even, five seconds to think about doing it. How long did it take you to think about doing it? Five seconds? Yeah. One, two, three. Oh my God. But like, you know, it's just not that big of a deal. Are your thoughts not instantaneous? Oh, I don't know.

I was like, do I still have any of that stuff? Or when I weighed my witch's hat. Anyway. Yeah. The same, and can I add insult to injury over this corset night, that same lip thing that happened to your crystal cladding happened to me that night as well. No. I was like, what am I standing on?

Turns out it was my own shoe. Oh God, I fucking hate drive. Yes. Anyway, so what we're saying string Yes, is that include fishing line? Yes Fishing line stresses me out, but it's so fabulous. It's so strong Can I say so strong I cuz you know, there's that true dollar shop fishing line. Yeah, I'm sure everyone's familiar with it It's like a fiber optic cable almost. It's so thick that I think it gives a bat.

I went to a real fishing store one time when I needed to buy some fishing line. Cool. And I bought like really fine, really strong fishing line. Like for pulling a barramundi. Yes. And you can barely see it. It's so thin. Yes.

And it is just incredible. Yeah. And now is it all like wrapped around 27 pins? Yeah. But that's when fishing line tangles, it's actually the fucking devil. Have you ever like had fishing line and like you walk through and you're like, what is that? Yes. You know, it's like, and it's getting caught on you and you're like, you're

like the fish. Or it gets wrapped around your toe as you walk past a box. Our Barrow Monday listeners will understand. Yes. They'll sit in at home, it'll be like that. You had them until you said toe, now they're lost again. I'm sorry. Finally, relatable content for me, and then talk about feet.

Sorry, Barramundi. Um, all right, it's saying it's ready, so maybe I'll stop. That's incredible. Oh Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, why is it so fibrous? I know. Can't you smooth that out? But do you know, it's like if I was, you know, stealing a small Hishen bag, I'd be thankful of my good friend Twine. Imagine if I wanted to hand out a few wildflower seeds at my wedding.

Yes. You know. That is Twine's purpose. Zelda, are you ever going to get married? Not at this rate, darling. Oh. Oh. What would you want your wedding favor to be?

My bombonieri? No. What? Getting them to say, yes, is probably the biggest favor. Oh. Oh. favour. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm quite bonbonieri to be. Don't make it sound like a witch's curse your place on each of your guests. No, well, yes, there'd be some hair in there, I guess. I don't know.

I do think that like a bulb of some kind is quite fabulous. I feel like that would be fitting for you as well. But I'd probably do cuttings. I'd probably like pre-prep. Yourself or him? Oh, oh, oh. Fucking hell. Sorry, I'm so atrocious. Yeah I'd probably pre prep for the wedding night sweetheart.

When do you do before you're like. You don't fuck on your wedding night. Sorry, but that's just not happening. Okay. Like I just, any, like Matt, you can speak to this, but there's no person who. Matt, did you do show your wedding? Not about douchey, but like you've just on the wedding night. Yeah. You've just put on like, after the big party, you just put on a massive event. You're so tired. Why would you be like, oh yeah, let's hook up. True.

Unless you did, Matt. I don't want to speak with her. Oh, did you want me to say something? Ah! Confirmed. Yeah. Okay. Well, cause I know when Nick and Raph,

you know, Miss Benign Girl, but you, they were like, absolutely not. We were so tired. We went to bed and we went straight to sleep. Oh, now we did that. Did they ride the witch's broom? I don't think they have a witch's broom in their relationship. Ah, I see. Yes.

Um, I don't think Kajun will want to ride the witch's broom for a while after his terrifying cleaning spin. Oh my God. No more flying. Keep me out of the skies, please. Is he going to catch a the skies. Yes. Please. Is he going to catch a boat home? Yes.

Well, he already had to get on a plane straight away. Straight after his crash? Yeah. It's fine. We sort of the breaks. Straight back on the horse. Oh my God. I really do believe in that though.

If you allow things to accumulate too much time, they gain a sort of power in that time. Wow. Profound. I know. Yeah. Kind of like string. Well, I don't know if it's a string. A wick is impressive. A wick? Yeah.

Is that what you were saying? No. I was saying that string is wick. Is rope string? Kinda. It's like, Yeah, we call that. We call that string.

It's in the, it's in the same universe. You know, can we get some more hardcore string up here? Do you mean rope? Obviously. Sorry. Yes. We just call it hardcore string where I'm from. It's the celestial void.

What about dental floss? Yeah, that's string. But you know what? It's not round. It's flat. Yeah. Do you know,? It's not round. It's flat. Yeah. Do you know, I, I, um. It's a ribbon.

Yeah. I bought like a charcoal activated dental floss. Yeah. From McCoppins. And I got the time I was like, this is just stupid, but I just needed dental floss. And I had a choice between the Colgate one and this one that was like... McCoppins? Bamboo-y, like whatever.

Anyway. Oh. And it was like needlessly dear. And I took it home with me and then used it and it was so good. And then I've gone, like I ran out eventually, everything does. And then I went back to another, you know, just more of a like plasticky cloth.

And it's just incredibly inferior. And one of the few times that one of these like wanky McCoppen's products has actually turned out to be- McCoppen's? McCoppen's, haven actually turned out to be McCoppen's McCoppen's having the bulbs coming beautifully now is it a String you wrap around your finger or is it on a little? Individual individual I have there's never been anything more like last days of Sodom and Gomorrah like the Excesses of human evil. Mmm, those individual little things

the excesses of human evil, those individual little things. So I thought the same. And then I was gifted a packet from my place of employment. Sorry. Yeah, sorry. Employee of the year. Get the gift. And it came with a chocolate. And a choccy and then floss it out.

But, um, it was really good because you know what I don't like about flossing and some string is when it cuts my finger or threatens to cut my finger. I'm going to use piano wire. Um, yeah. You know when you're flossing? Yeah. And there's so much pressure on your little index fingers that are wrapped around. I want to be wrapped. I do like a double, like both fingers.

Sorry. Use two hands, two fingers, two fingers. Yeah, both indexes. No, I do like fingers like, you know, across four fingers. Pointer in middle. Darling, I'm shopping at McCop and second afford it. I only do index. Well, maybe that's why you're getting index to index. That's a lot of pressure on one finger that's right you got to kind of

like you know yes we never considered such a thing genuinely in my life don't you wear your dental flossing gloves yes well of course but you know the thing I what about dental and your goggles okay now everyone's having fun. Well, first time for this fucking podcast. But the, you know when you're done with the floss and you like go out to the kitchen to throw it away. Yes. And then you open the bin with your foot. Yeah.

And then you try and drop the floss into the bin. Yeah. But because it's such a light object, it doesn't fall out of your fingers. No. And you open your hand and you wave it around and this string just will not come off. Yes. That's all. I hate that.

Oh, I hate that. Um, you know what other message I got today, which, um, read, I also say it feel low when I read it, I was like, well, good, then it was like, wait, but I'm reading it. I don't know how it was written. Anyway, as a throwback to last week's episode, they know. You said it normally. What do you think about this silly string?

Okay. So like that's not very long. It's not very strong. Not very strong. It all like, but it's the way, darling, that the point of that string is to be silly and I'd say it's achieving it. It is. I don't think it's, it didn't say long string and it certainly didn't say strong

string. No, it said silly. Silly baby. And it's going, it is. Yeah. And it's so. What it is promised's going, it is. Yeah. And it's so what it is promised to do. It does. And there's not many silly, like fun things in the bunker.

There's not many silly, fun things in life. And do you know what I say about silly string as a silly string user? Yeah. Um, yeah, for parties. You mean to rehab yet for that? Dignified events. Yeah. But it is so effective.

It's so exciting. And the way that it is so easy to clean up, it doesn't stick to anything. The fact that confetti has become such an like, you know, everywhere kind of situation. When it's cousin, silly string, is just right there and you can like, that's, if I was leaving the chapel on the day of my wedding, I don't want to come through like a, you know, a lie, a conga line of people throwing rice or confetti, I'd love them to all spray me

with silly string. Silly string, that is true. I quite enjoy that. I guess the issue is the waste in the actual cans. But a compressed can is also fabulous. That's what I say. And cousin to Silly String is that like air duster can that just sprays air. Compressed air. I love that can. just sprays air. Compressed air. I love that can.

I want compressed air. And it gets so cold. Compressed air, compressed water. I don't know, like just Lemaire or whatever. Just regular water, spring water, thermal spring water. Yeah. I just love that there's all the elements in a can. Where's fire in a can?

Well, like those like gas bottles, butane. Butane. Yeah. Is that what that's called? I guess that is. Yeah. Where's earth in a can? You know, I would say that's that spray foam.

Oh, oh, expanding foam. Yeah, I can see that. I just love silly. I also love, you know what I love? When they were like back in my day, when they were putting out the Spider-Man spray shooters and some genius toy maker was like, just get Silly's Drink. Put it in a bespoke can and they'll pay for every refill. They call it Spider-Can. And you could spray it by pulling down the lever

Yeah, that's fun. Oh my god. Yeah. Oh, did you have such a thing? No, I know obviously I would never But that was cool to see the ad yeah, yeah And imagine that I had it yeah Jesus Christ. I'd imagine that I had it. Yes. You're still imagining it. I'm Spiderman. Oh my God.

Okay. It's funny that we played Sp-Man a lot in primary school. And we only had seen the Tobey Maguire film and maybe there was the cartoon on the Chees TV you used to have Spider-Man on. The animated one from like the 60s. I don't think we had much other information. We didn't read the comics. So I don't know where all our extended law was coming from. Spidey is just out there. Everyone knows who Spider-Man is. Yeah. You

know, who's your favorite Spiderman? Should we save that. I guess. Okay. Yeah. That's what we got. Okay. Um, I hate those. Um, the, you know, like, uh, uh hate the string that is the like little bubble string, the little beads. I also just like, how have we had this technology for, I don't know, 20 years? It's impossible to know really. But, but how have we had this technology since 2005? And like every time you try and open one of those, it's like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh. And I was like, oh, silly you. There's one that makes it go up and down and then there's one that turns it.

I'm like, number one, I'm not a master puppeteer. No. But number two, can we not color code them? No. Why is it a mystery meal of four number two, can we not color code them? Why is it a mystery meal of four strings that each offer a different choose your own adventure? Yeah.

And then the second you accidentally pull the wrong one, it's like the whole blind structure has gone south on a diagonal in front of all the people at the office. Yeah. They're all laughing. Yeah. The conductor all laughing. Yeah. The conductor of strings in theater, that's a great job. I think they conduct the whole orchestra, don't they?

No, the person who pulls all the levies to make Spiderman fly or whatever. Yes, yes. Is that a job? Sure. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And that's like real thick rope. That's like hardcore. Yeah, that's pretty cool. And that's like real thick rope. That's like hardcore.

Oh, it's hardcore string. Yeah. Yeah. Pull string. I mean, we're putting silly string, right? I think maybe silly string. Do you like silly string? Yeah.

I loved it when I was a kid. And I probably still love it now. You just haven't seen it in a while. We'll bring some next week. I think I had Silly String on tour and spraying people with Silly String is so fun because it makes such an aggressive noise and people are so scared. They think something's coming for them. Like if you were in conversation with someone backstage and you just go,

it's so funny. I mean, in those cases, someone is coming for them. It was you. Yeah. Violence. It's always a shock. Anyway, silly string. Silly string.

You're in. What do you think the people at the bunker will make of silly string? I think Gwyneth will not like it. She won't, but you know what? She'll crack a little like side smile. God, that would be charming. Yes. Do you think at the end of The Nanny season four, they'll all spray the cast with silly

string? We could do that. Yeah. Once. One time. Go through the full supply. Um. It's true. We are, how much, how much silly string does the world need after the apocalypse?

Well, about 73 tons, I guess. Yeah. Like a giant. Maybe we put in a whole silly string wing so we never run out. The string wing. String wing. All right. So we're going to put in the string wing.

It's just a giant warehouse floor. Yeah. And you walk down these put in this string wing. It's just a giant warehouse floor. Yeah. And you walk down these cavernous hallways and someone's like, couldn't we move some of the bedrooms in here? And they're like, sorry, where would we put the sillies? And they're like, can we at least open a can? Not until the nanny season four. Yes.

Yeah. And a best day. And then, yeah. If we're celebrating the Meg for some reason. We just pull one out. Yeah. We all share it. Every inhabitant shares the can. And everyone gets one little kkkk.

Or you're like, the first person puts their finger down and then they have to pass it while keeping it depressed. And if the string line breaks, that's it. Yeah. Okay. Now put that can away. Yeah. We have to get through every other episode of the Nanny first before it comes around again. That's good. Oh, in the string wing. Yeah, in the string wing. All right. String wing, you're in.

Well, also we probably need someone to watch over the string. I think Courtney is probably the right person. She is. She's actually qualified. The night watchman is walking up and down like end of Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark. She's just there like checking, dusting the silly string cans. Yeah. Yeah. Um, rattling a, um, a baton against each, uh, warehouse.

She probably does have to rattle them a few times. Well, just to make sure the consistency is still correct. Yeah, just Courtney shaking can by can. Yeah, do all 17,000. Well, we have many tons of shillings. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's really good. Perfect.

Oh, good. Yeah, we'll be back. To the world. To the world. To the world. To the world. To the world. To the world. To the world.

To the world. To the world. Hello. We're back. We didn't lie to you. No. If you could believe it's still going. Okay, this final category is which, okay, you're going to time zone, which arcade machine I'm not sure about.

I guess it could be, I guess it could be video game ones like Pac-Man. But what I'm really interested in is the type that you could win prizes from. Okay, so starting off strong, the claw machine. The claw machine. Now you can get it with plushie variety or you can get it with little candies. Have you ever won something from a claw machine? I, okay. The only thing that I've ever won is from that one.

That's cool. Oh, no. Yeah. It's, is it? No, it is. It's claw and then pusher. Why? Do you know that one?

The reality show that, um that Benign was on. Yeah, how it just like the little... Yeah, the pushing shelf. It's like a claw where you pick up the candies and then drop them on to there. And then it pushes and you get whatever candies fall off the ledge. Which is actually surprisingly easy to win. Oh, that's cool. Or in this one location. Yeah.

Because they can set the hardness. Ah. But you know, Carlos. Yeah. Former housemaid, but dear friend. Yeah. He's like a real queen of the plush. Really?

Like, literally can go to any claw machine and win a plush. Oh my god. Yeah. Would just come home sometimes with just armful win a plush. Oh my God. Yeah. We'd just come home sometimes. It's just armful to plush. Wow. Yeah. I never have. There was this one night where, um, when I was in Japan with my ex, we went out and I was obsessed with, um, this like cat game at that time on my phone, where like you would in order to like

attract different cats, you had to like set up your little digital house in a certain way. And my favorite was tubs and I spent like 60 Australian dollars repeatedly trying to get it because I was also like caught up in how fun and silly it was but I didn't get it. You played how many games did 60 dollars get you? It just exploded everyone. She was in that film spontaneous maybe like 10 10 games yeah okay like I played it many times not crazy still as a game 10 10 games yeah and then at the end I I was like, I'm giving up.

How much do you think I've spent? And he was like, we need to leave. Why didn't they just give it to you a pity? So as we were leaving, there was this couple who were chit chatting with like someone who worked there. And they were essentially like, we tried to get this thing like 10 times or whatever and we couldn't, can we just open it up? And they did! And they just got a prize!

You don't ask, you don't receive. Yeah, but what prize? The like, I asked for a prize so I got a prize prize? Yeah, they were playing 5D social chairs. Boo! You were playing by the rules, they were playing by the... I want to play by the claw. Well, you lost. That's the rule that I follow.

And I should have lost. I sucked. You know what? You know what you'd love if you liked the claw? What? Toy Story. Is there any machine in there? Is there really?

Have you? You've seen Toy Story. I don't know, maybe. Oh my god. Like probably when I was eight years old, like, I don't know, maybe. Oh my God. Like probably when I was eight years old, like, I don't know. Oh gosh, I just don't even know. Okay. Okay.

There are some of them that I see and I don't even understand. Basketball. That and Ski Ball. Ew. You don't like Ski Ball? I just don't. They're like, I'm talking about the ones where it's got an iPad in there and a Samsung Galaxy.

The lights are all going off. I can see the prizes, but what is the game? Sometimes it'll have Tetris in the background, and I'm like, is that the game? Because it's not front and center like I need the game to be. And then that one that's like a circle. It's like a podium in the center of one of those arcades. And it's got a bubble dome top. And then lights that go all the way around

in the perimeter of this circular bubble dome tabletop that you look down into. And you have to like stop the button if it's like at you. And I guess like six people can play at once. It's like buttons all around the perimeter. Oh, I don't know this. You would know it, but it's just such a distinctive misc arcade game, but it's like, it almost doesn't have like a strong enough identi- it's not like the claw.

It's so C-list that it's like kind of stressful because I'm like, I don't even know what that game does. And occasionally like those games are like double bonus, quick round. And you're just like, why would I know what the quick round is? And how would I fuck? Like, you know, like you've got to keep things real simple for me because I've never played this game before and I never will again. Yes. Um, I'm already scared of playing that game. Uh, but yeah, do you know like the basketball hoops? We just like chucking. Yeah.

And they got the little plexiglass. Oh, I don't like that. You just, you just suggested it. Well, I just, I just, what am I doing? Throwing a ball in a hoop? Yes. I don't know. I like it when it blows its little sound whistle.

Also, those were the ones back in the day at Nock City when, because they were a bit older, and when they would start pulling up, pushing out the tickets for like the ticket desk, you could pull them out manually. Like once they'd finished serving you tickets, you could just like hold them and very gently Jimmy them out of the machine. Whoa. Ah, she wanted bonus tickets. Risky.

Um, it was good. They knew that there was a problem there because people got in trouble for it. Ah! I love those desks with all the like clear, like for 20 tickets you can get a sticky frog or an eraser. I'm like the cura- like a well curated... A little prize. Prize den. We'll make you forget that like there's an xbox up there

because how cool like where did they even find that little mood ring you know what i mean like yeah yeah it's like if if the 20 dollar 20 ticket prize is still kind of chic yeah you won't feel bad if you just spent 40 dollars on nothing on that, you know, a finger trap. A finger trap. They've just got to be... Yeah. It's so cool. Yeah. The, anything behind a curtain. So like at Rosebud cinema, there was a Jurassic Park. Oh, and like the... And then there was Resident Evil and you had to get behind the curtain to play. I like that. I don't really like those games are horrendous to play in that setting, like just play a

video game. But to be behind a curtain, I love being behind a curtain. A tiny like waist height curtain. Yes. Yes. That is so cool. And also just titillating. Yes.

But no, I never, what I ever played that? That is so cool. And also just titillating. Yes. But no, I never... What, I never played that? But yeah, those Resident Evil, that was my only exposure to Resident Evil. And I was like, oh God, it's on House of the Dead and stuff. So scary. Scary. Yeah.

And the race car, I guess. That's a classic one that you just want to have a sit. You know, it's like the console is like maybe 98,000 times cooler than the game that you could be playing. You know, like, I don't care about actually driving this shitty fucking car simulator. Yeah. But like this cool car seat, it's like I'm in a car. But I'm not. I'm in an arcade. That's crazy. Yeah. And I mean, what do we think about dance, dance, revolution? Dance, dance, revolution. So when I was like 18, there was this guy

that I talked to online. Where did I meet him? I can't remember. But we became friends on like steam. So we like, not that I really played many like, um, PC games, but I had steam because of course it is. That's so cool. Um, so we should challenge steam. And then there was this period where we used to hook up, but this was like early days, like when I was like 18. So like I was out and I was only living with my dad and there were a few nights, he was a couple of years older than me and he was studying at RMIT

and he was living on campus in Hawthorne. And I went to his place and stayed there maybe like once or twice. But it was like early like sex experience days. And I don't know. Anyway, he was a roller skater recreationally, which I remember because at one point he was like, like a roller skater recreationally, which I remember because at one point he was like, let's go down to the like car park

and you can like watch me roller skate around. He's like, that's so cool. You can watch me do this thing. It's like things you don't put up within your 30s but you absolutely would be like, amazing. Let's do that for five hours. Totally, I'll watch you do that. And then five hours. Totally. I'll watch you do that. And then there was another time.

I'll watch you play Princess Berger. Yeah. Oh, I love watching someone play video games, if they know what they're doing. But then there was another time where we went to Time Zone at Crown, and I watched him. It was Galactic Circus, please. Oh, whatever.

Anybody's game. Anybody's game. Yeah, and I Anybody's game. Anybody's game. Yeah, and I watched him dance Dance Revolution four hours. No, you didn't. Like four hours. Four hours! Didn't they have two players on that? Well. I don't know.

I can't remember why I wasn't engaging in that. He's like, it's probably better you just stay back there and I use your tokens for me. Basically. Um, so that is my like core memory of dance dance revolution. Do you mean? Um, watching Ricky, um, did you feel like you were so adult? Yes.

Yeah. And I remember it was like weird. It was like the only time that I think because I was so young and it was like, wait, like, I think I lied to my parents about where I was staying or something. And then it like came out that I'd gone all the way to Hawthorne to stay at some random guy's house. And then it was like, who is he? Like what? Like it wasn't a friend from school. It wasn't anyone that met. And I'd never met him until like we met offline. Um, yeah, it was like the only time it's ever been like, you, you can't do that. Like I was never like, you watch me, I'll do it for

the rest of my life. Yeah. Um, yeah. But then he got an older boyfriend, like a really older boyfriend. Oh, because he was also like super, he was like a circus performer. Oh my God. Obviously I thought that was obvious. And he was like kind of into like furry stuff, which I was like too. Yeah. It was the early days. You're like, yeah, I just got into dick. Yeah. Like let's just warm up first. Whereas now I'd be like, that's hilarious.

Show me your first sonar and all the artwork that you've commissioned. But yeah, then he got this older boyfriend and kind of became his like boy toy and then disappeared. And then maybe like, I don't know, 10 years ago, I remember like going on Steam for some reason and he was online and that is all I remember. Good that we got closure. So Dance Dance Revolution. Oh my God. I thought of you like lit in a shifting blue and neon pink glow and like like, people are like, are you okay?

Oh no, I'm watching my boyfriend. Yeah. We met on stream. He is an acrobat. I used to call him the acrobat. He was an acrobat. Oh God. I wonder if I can find a photo of him.

Anyway, you say something now. I'm looking for a photo. Sounds like insane. Yeah, well, I remember we used to do like all night laser tag. You could, they had it, like you'd go and play a game of laser tag and then go and get to use the arcade. And that was the only time that I could bring my, cause I just like would never, like the only time I would consider spending money at an arcade is if you would have the potential to win prizes. Yeah. Like I would never like.

Just go and play a game. Yeah. I'm like, I'm not that, you know, it's not the fucking depression. Okay. Like I would, the, the delight of pinball is not so much that I would spend two dollars on it. Cause then I'm like, how long is the enjoyment going to last? It's literal, you know what I mean?

But actually when, when I very, very first, I guess remember going to visit my great aunt in the States, they kind of like, they were like the rich, my, this is my grandmother's sister, and she had a bit of money. And they had... So my, I guess, second cousins, her children were, or are, Forrest and Lincoln, and they are both twin brothers who had developmentally disabled and they were, I guess, like maybe in their like twenties when I was like four or five, but they, it was like the perfect time because we

were all, well, I must have been younger then, but like we're all kind of the same, like mentally. Like mental age. Yeah. Yeah. And they were, they are the sweetest boys and they were raised so beautifully by my aunt, Caroline and Uncle Dick. my aunt, Caroline,

uncle Dick. And then, um, but they had in their like gorgeous, like penthouse apartment, a full pinball machine that the boys had in their room, which is to me at that age, just left the most incredible impression. I was like, I've never seen anything as fantastic as this. And it was like a wolf, werewolf themed. Oh, scary. It was so good. It was like, you animal. There was like a woman on the console and she was like... Wait, werewolf and a woman?

Oh, yeah. He's like teen wolf kind of adjacent. Oh, okay. Yeah. I was like, yeah. And I was like, this is the only time we can justify just playing pinball for hours. Yeah. Incredible. That's fun.

Yeah. What do you think about weird rich people who have a room of pinball machines? I love the cases. I think it's just kind of criminal to have something that big. Uh-huh. It's kind of, but I'm like, I think it's just kind of criminal to have something that big. Uh-huh. You know how? Yeah. But you know, rich people have these giant spaces that need to be taken up.

I think it's just a bit depressing as well because it's like an arcade with no one there to enjoy it is so sad. Yes. So I think the better solution is the slightly more crazy rich people who will then like set it up as like a, I was going to say zoo. Um, yeah, like a, like a museum. People can come and enjoy them, but it's kind of yours, but kind of a side business kind of thing. That's all you do the bar, but stress anything of her alleged, or well, the

mall that she has in her basement. What pretend like they're all shops. What have you know about this? Is it know about a clone dogs and that's about it. She has like in her basement at one of her massive California properties, she has set up a whole strip mall of different shops that are vintage-y shops that are filled with all her possessions, but they're set out like shops and they have little signs and it looks like a little street that you walk down.

Oh my gosh. And there was a play that was written called Byron Seller, but Seller spelled Seller, like sell-a-door, and it's about one of the, this gay guy that works in like, in the shop in her bunker. Oh my God. And, and he like, the whole show is incredible, but he like just describes Barbara coming into

her seller shop and pretending that she's just a customer and like them slowly becoming friends and he just describes each time that she's like, she visits and explains things about her life. And like, it's actually an incredible show, but so bizarre. And then what? You just like buy your outfit every day. Little fake monopoly money. Well, Barbara Bucks, please.

That is amazing. Can we put Barbara Bucks in? Yeah. Why not? That could be the currency. But now. But yeah, arc now, but yeah. Um, okay. Okay. I mean like this fate things, like dunk tanks and moving clowns with, um, gaping

mouth. That was my game when I was little. You were good at that. Yeah. I loved the gaping mouth clown. Whoa. Cause you put the little ping pong ball in it. Yeah. Of course. It's awesome.

That was a wild ride. What do you think about the ducks fishing for the ducks? That's the... this is actually, we've gone off path. That's carnival games. That's carnival. And we're not having a carnival until Shilly Strings season is back on. No, but we're talking about something you can set and forget. Yeah, in an arcade.

Yeah, it doesn't have to have an attendant. And I think that's important. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Air hockey? I love air hockey. I'm on board with air hockey.

It's really good. A slight levitation. I love that. I think that's it. And it actually is just like so majestic. And it happened so quick. How did you get that goal? Also the thing that I love about air hockey is that for the prize, it doesn't tell you

when it's over. Yeah. You could keep playing air hockey the whole day. Because we're both really good. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe we're having a tournament. It could last hours. Yeah.

And that's not up to the pinball. I guess it is. It's good. I used to love playing air hockey with my sister when we go on summer vacation. And I feel like air hockey is like, you can really hit hard. Also the design of those tables is so retrofuturist paradise. Yeah. Hmm.

Yeah. Hook is good. You know what I don't like is that other, what's that other game soccer? Fist ball. What is that? I like that. I understand that. I like it. They're on, they're on poles.

Yeah. I can't just move them around. You can. But what if the ball is in between where I want to knock? Well, and also do I have to hit it with the feet or can I hit it with the head. You can. What if the ball is in between where I want to knock? Well, then I have to say. And also do I have to hit it with the feet or can I hit it with the head? You can do both. Yeah.

They can't move forward and backwards. They can move side to side. Yeah. It's just a lateral movement. I don't. Me and my brother used to just spin them as fast as we could. You guys would have been an absolute terror in the Rumpus room. Oh, come on.

These kids. Keep it down in there. Shut up, boys. Sorry about that, mate. We just go to that table for Christmas. No, I hate, oh. It's actually like, if you're going to be a rich person, I want to, and you want to buy arcade games.

I want to see, you know, Diva, I want to see like the full cabinet. When people are like a bit incu are not quite rich. Um, they, and they like get like the half-size cabinets that are built for homes. Like, oh, it's Pac-Man and 20 other games in this tiny little cabinet. I'm like, Diva? No.

That's not what we're for. No, commit three square meters to commit Pac-Man. It's either that or it's like just have your home console and I don't care. But like the kind of faux, that would never have lasted in an actual arcade. Fuck off. Yeah, no. You know what I did like?

Frogger. Yeah? Because it reminds me of the like back when I was sick from school, I would go and like, my mom would just take me into uni where she was lecturing at Deakin in like, resident campus in Burwood. And like in the student common room, they had a Frogger table and it was like, you know, two people could sit on either side and have the glass top. And it's something so chic about how it was also just a workable piece of furniture.

Yes. Like, could set a beer down on top of it. There is a bar I used to go to. Was it, what was that underground bar on E55? Is that what it was called? On Elizabeth Street? I don't know. Anyway, maybe it was E55.

I don't know where it was. But yeah, like they had a thing like that. There was the table and when you got that seat, it was so cool because yeah, it's just a glass surface. But what lies beneath? Yeah. Fabulous game. More arcades should have things where it's like, oh, this is also a coat rack or it's

a toilet. What? No, yeah. And what game is it? I don't know. Yeah, it's a toilet What no, yeah, what game is it I don't know some kind of shit weighing game What okay what arcade games going in the bunker Do you know that reminds me my Auntie D Dee was telling me, was my Auntie Dee? She, she said there was a bar in New York. Yeah.

She went into the bathroom there. This would have been in the eighties and then heard the sound of a camera flash, like a camera go like, and then, um, she walked out and was out and everyone was pissing themselves. Cause the bartender was like, has a little speaker set up in there where he played the sound of a camera going and they would watch everyone come out and be like, Oh my God. And sometimes pretend like they didn't care.

And they would all just piss themselves laughing each time. Well, that's not very kind. It was the eighties, sweetheart. And that's also not an arcade game. No, well, it could be. Oh, right. I see now. I got it.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, okay. Do we think air hockey? Yeah. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Um, okay. I, do we think air hockey? Yeah. That's cool. Okay. Yeah. Air hockey. You're in. You're in. Now let's round up. What have we done this week? Okay. Air hockey is in the bunker. Air hockey. She's in. Now we have the string wing, the new silly string department. Yep. Um,

that is in. We also, uh, until we've confirmed the official currency of the bunker, we've got Barbara Bucks. Ah, from Barbara's basement. Yes. And the plane that we... Obviously the plane that's going in. Is the Spruce Moose. The Spruce Moose.

Yes. Uh, well, what a week. Goodbye. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you've got some ideas for us to send to us at Death to Everyone, probably check them out. Oh, and we're just...

Sorry, Yuka. And we're just supporters, please, at Patreon.com. Such death to everyone. Oh, nah. Bye. Like that.