Death To Everyone - Death To... Podcasts, Pins & Companies

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Welcome back Listener, This week of important decision making is centred around the medium of pods. Which podcast deserves to survive the end of times? For that matter..which pin? AND What about which company? We've got the answers. Enjoy Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/⁠

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo She hasn't been well. Just ignore her. She hasn't been well. Try this. Oh, that's latest from Milan. Go on, bitch. Try it on. I think there needs to be like a, a new telling of the story of legally

blonde, the musical, Allah, um, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead about the two shop women and their dynamic. Yes. And we'll play them and it'll be called ignore her. It hasn't been well. And it follows her into the depths of insanity after the loss of her husband. I like that. And she works on commission.

Yep. And Elwood's tears are down. So am I the one having the mental breakdown and you're the cruel boss? Yeah. Yeah. But you know what? It's kind of reversing our roles in life. Very like, yeah, true.

Cause you are a cruel boss. And I would lie to someone about where the dress came from to sell it. Also true. Try this. Latest from Milan. And used a half lipstick on Chinese silk. I mean, lapsed on Chinese silk. Uh-huh.

Well, the thing is, you didn't just get this in because I started in last means Vogue. And you can't use a half lipstick on Chinese silk. It'll pucker. Pucker. And welcome to Death to Everyone. It's a show about Legally Blundered Musical where we break down week by week. Every single minute. Every single line.

And it's various readings. And yes, after a year and a half, we're finally up to, Courtney, take your break. I can't wait. The moment you've all been waiting for. So good. Um, it's a gift from me.

Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my god. You go. This is in honor of max drag queen doing. Uh, on such game. What? She did Elwood's on such game. Yeah. Yeah. On Snatch Game. What? She did Elwoods on Snatch Game. Yeah. Yeah.

And I did Courtney. Take a break. And every week we discuss a range of fabulous topics. And we make decisions. And we've set up a doomsday bunker because it is the end of the world. And of these topics, we put in the best of the best and preserve it for the rest of all time. It is a question I think about a lot, obviously because of the show, but like,

what about humanity deserves to be spared from annihilation? Not much. And now that we are, I wish I was spared from annihilation. I fucking hated that movie. Oh, I loved annihilation. I, yeah, I quite like Alex Garland's films. Yeah, Natalie Portman's fine. I like that.

I loved Ex Machina. Yeah, I like that. And I've softened a little bit. No, I've hardened a little bit to the appeals of Civil War. I don't think I really thought about that film since we saw it. Oh, I... No. Yeah.

I didn't enjoy that. But I like 28 Days Later and I'm excited for 28 years later. Yes. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah. Yeah, I like that. And what's your name? I'm Lazy Susan. And I'm Zeldermoon. And we have no guests this week, but we do have Driving Our Space Car, Matt Cheers. Brum-brum. Give you some. car, matches. Brum, brum. I think you've used that one. Have I? Have I already done that one?

Sorry, I'll mark that off my list of car sounds today. Brum, derivative. I've been reading too many children's books. Oh, and now you can read. That's right. I like those books that have like- But I have to do the sound effects, you know what I mean? Like I have to go, brum I like those books. But I have to do the sound effects. You know what I mean? Like I have to go, like the car.

Any of those like fabulous books that have like a swatch of fabric for like the fairy, um, like the fairy, like bears, you know, like pelt. Yeah. Oh, a touch and feel book. Yeah. I guess they have a name. Touch and feel book if you lack boundaries. You have to ask first.

Or if you enjoy the texture of paper. Yes, exactly. Yeah, look at this monster. It feels like paper as well. Yeah, we have a lot of those, that's not my blank books. Have you seen those? That's not my blank. That's not my blank.

No, it's like, that's not my puppy. Its tummy is too soft. I don't think that that's a concept that needs a broader cinematic universe. Oh, you know, that's not my blank book. There's a, there's a, that's not my everything. There's the, that's not my car. That's not my flask. That's not mine.

Wife. That's not my life. I was done who I was meant to be. Yeah. I don't recognize this person anymore. Anyway, how are you, Zelda? I'm good. What's new? Oh, I was just saying it feels like forever since we've had a podcast episode, but it's only because the last podcast episode was so...

It was on such a stressful timeline. We had places to be. Yes. And it just is, blah, blah. It's our shortest episode in a stressful timeline. We had places to be and it just, it's a blur. It's our shortest episode in a long time. Right. But I think the new listeners will appreciate that. Well, welcome to the slog, you little cunts. Yeah, strap in.

It's going to be four hours this week. I've never heard you guys so efficient. Yeah, I know. Yeah, right. We like being bang-boom. Next. Yeah. We figured out what vibe goes into the bunker.

Good. Next. When I met Brenda Bress' goes into the bunker. Good. Next. When I met Brenda Bress' husband, I'm sorry if I wasn't meeting you or if that was the second meeting. I'm sorry. But he was like, I was just listening to you in the car and he knew too much. And now he's probably listening to this. So many people know too much.

And I was like, Oh my God. Yeah. We were out on last Friday night at our viewing party. That doesn't sound like that. And it's like, I think I had five people come up to me and be like, Oh my God, I love that you hooked up with that guy from the street. You're going to find someone tonight. And I was like, how do you know that? I haven't seen you in four months. Looking at me. I'm like, Oh, I told her half an hour story about, yeah,

sucking that ass dick. Yeah. Yeah. What a world. What a good show we have. Yes. Not this one. No, all the ones we do live.

Yeah. Anyway, so on Friday, there we were. So we were at Wheat Wine Whiskey for our viewing party every week at seven o'clock. And then we trotted down the street. We arrive at circuit. We're at Molly's upstairs, chatting with the girls, whatever, watching some shows. And then there I am at the bar. She walked into the party.

Like she was walking on to a break. And like, a straight person comes up to me. Good for you. Who is lost, like in the mist, then found a gorilla. And he's like, hey, so how's your night? Ah. And that is good.

And then he is just like by my side for the next hour. Upstairs. Oh my god, that guy. Yes. Yes. Who had incredible teeth, but talked very loudly during a drag show. I'm like, can you just watch the show? No.

Who talks during a drag show? Shut up. He also did that thing that makes me so uncomfortable where he's like, I you just watch the show? No. Who talks during a drag show? Shut up. He also did that thing that makes me so uncomfortable where he's like, I don't know about this, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then you kind of like, mm, foam, mock him or whatever. And he gets so like, I don't know what, what I meant to say, what to say. And I'm like, shut up. I don't actually care.

No. Yeah. I'm like, I wish you'd just be actively homophobic. At least that's less words that we have to say. Yeah. I hate having to be like, no, it's okay. Like, oh, it's fine. I know what you meant.

Oh, what are... Anyway. I just assume you're like that mid-level of ignorant. Yes. Yeah. It's like harmless but stupid. Yeah. Anyway, then we're like downstairs and he reappears again.

And then it's kind of like, okay, I'm going to go home. I'm going home. I'm like, okay, bye. And then he leaves and then 10 minutes later he's back and he's like, can I get your number? I was like, oh. Shoot, you're shot. Yes.

Fine. Obviously. Three. So then... I got in early with Vodafone. So then I like, he gave me his phone. I like prank called my phone. So we had each other's number.

Ooh. Then... Soon you're going to be Mrs. Good Teeth. Yes. Then... But that was that. And he actually left. Fridays are doing you so right. I know, right?

There's something about the aura of the air, of the wheat wine and whiskey coming off you. Truly. That smell of wheat. Yes. I think it's because I get so much confidence after flirting with Zach for three hours. Oh my God, the bartender. I love him. Anyway.

He loves attention as well. He does. Um, So that's that. Then the next morning, he messages being like, so nice to meet you last night. Enchanting. Yeah. And he, so at the earlier in the evening where we met, he was asking like, what's your name? And I said, Zelda. And then like, da da da da da.

And then later he's like, but what's your like, like, I think he said, what's your normal name? Another slam dunk. And it was like, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And we like have that chat. But I think, I think he was confused around my... Gender expression. Correct.

Because I was like, like, my name's Kane, but like, I'm in drag tonight, so I'm Zelda, blah, blah, blah. And he's like, right, right, right. But I think he was really asking, like, what was my in the before time name? Because now I'm living my trans experience as Zelda the woman, as opposed to Zelda the queen. I don't know what to say.

What am I allowed to say? All I'm saying is you're a beautiful woman. Yeah. And I said, no, say it again. So why did that get anywhere good? Wow. Okay. So then, and did that get anywhere good? Wow. Okay. So then he messages being like,

nice to meet you last night. And oh, he was saying on Friday night, he's like, like, let's, let's hang out. Let's go get dinner. Oh my God. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, maybe next weekend. Like, I can't tomorrow.

He was a straight man. Yes. He said many times. He said that to you. Yeah. He was a straight man. Yes. He said many times. He said that to you. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And I'm like, why the fuck you in a gay bar? Anyway. Um, because he's looking for a beautiful doll. Doll. Yeah. She's curious. Um, and I was like, no, no, cause I had a friend's birthday, which I ended up cooking anyway, but, um, cause it was just, yeah, but I was like, I had other stuff on, so I was like, I can't do this weekend.

But maybe next weekend. He's like, okay, let's go to dinner next Saturday night. I'm like, where's he taking you? The Crown Casino food court. Oh, don't threaten me with a good time. You know, you can't get dinner on Timo, darling. You're going to have to take me somewhere nice. So then he messages and I messaged back like, nice to meet you too, Chris. And...

You should have said handsome. Who knows what I said. His whole, his whole again. His whole, but zoomed out a little bit so you can see more cheek. Oh, that's important. Yeah. Then he's like, would love to like, what time are we? No. Then he's like, what time are we meeting up tonight? And I was like, I can't do tonight.

Wait. So he knew about the new plan. He knew next weekend, but he was just being assertive. He was like, let's do it tonight. Yeah. And I was like, no, no, I can't do tonight, but maybe next Saturday. And he was like, what time? Let's lock it in. Wow.

I was like, oh, why can't I have someone interested in me that is just like, anyway, uncomplicated. Because you don't like them. Yeah. Anyway, then we like chit chat a little bit, pretending like we're gonna go to dinner at some point in our future and then... Wait, is he... What? Is he like, I got us beautiful tickets to the ballet and to...

Kind of. And like, you're gonna show up dressed like pretty woman. Right, and then he's like, what do you drink? What do you drink? What do you drink? And I was like, calm. And I was like, well, I don't really... And before I could even reply... Just fucking calm, really? Before I could even reply, he's like, cause I'll have, I'll make sure I've got the fridge stocked at home.

It's like, ew. I think he forgot to say what he really meant, which was mini fridge in his gamer room. It's so, ew, like I, I- Zelda, what do you mean? Because like that's too assertive. Like I like not making a decision, but like- You got into a man's car when he said, get in. Yeah, that's fine. Cause at least I understood. But what was becoming clear about this was that Good Teeth did not understand the situation, you know? Unlike the guy on the street who knew that I had a...

Well, he's done it before. Yes. Anyway, sir, then I was like, you'll have it like in your like fridge at home already. I thought we were going out, you know? And he's like, well, we'll come back to mine. I'm like, uh, anyway, then we get to like, I'm just imagining his like barren, docklands apartment. Oh my God.

It's like a mattress and base on the floor with like a shitty bedside table, white walls with gray carpet. You can hear the like wind howling through those corridors. And he lives on South Bank. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, he does. Yes. Yes. Yeah. And he drives a very nice car, but it's a lease.

Lease to buy. Oh, that. Anyway, then it gets to like kind of like horny chat, which believe me, when I say I was only entertaining the idea, I was not particularly horny for this person at all. He was cute. He was cute, but like... Actually, I would say he was hot. Yeah.

And don't forget his teeth. And he had such teeth. The teeth were fabulous. The teeth were so good. Straight, all there. Zelda, your standards are too high. I know. He had all his teeth.

He had all his teeth. I didn't see any molars. Anyway, then, your standards are too high. I know. He had all his teeth. He had all his teeth. I didn't see any molars. Anyway, then like getting to horny chat and he's like... He said the first four. Finally. Wait, what time of day is it? This is later that night? This was the next day.

No, no, this was the Saturday morning. So maybe like 10 AM when I worked up or something. Okay, acceptable. 10 AM on a Saturday is horny chat territory. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he on a Saturday is horny character. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he's like, I just want you to come over tonight and da-da-da. And I'm like, no, maybe.

Did he send a dick pic? No. Oh, what are we doing here? No, but I also was like, I just, I just did this. Like, how often am I doing this? Every Friday for the next six weeks. Ha ha ha! But it was becoming more and more clear that he thought that I was... A trans woman. Like, a trans woman, which I am not.

And I'm like, I am not, like... And I think I said, like, do you want to meet Zelda or do you want to meet, like, me? And he was like... Huh, what a weird question. Yeah. And like he kept saying things like, mm, yeah, your pussy's going to be so wet and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, well...

Like, you mean my penis? My penis is going to be so wet. I'm like, I suppose my asshole will be wet if you coat it in lubricant. Like, what? You don't understand what you're talking about. you coat it in lubricant. Like what? You don't understand what you're talking about.

So that, I don't know. Anyway, then he was like super horny and he was like, come over now and blah, blah, blah. I'm like, no. So anyway, that didn't happen. And then, and then, um, I wonder if I should play this actually. It's kind of funny. So then that was that. And I was um, I wonder if I should play this actually. It's kind of funny. So then that was that. And I was like, okay.

I was like, I've got a really, really busy day on, but maybe later I can, I'll message you if I'm free later. And he's like, okay, cool, cool, cool. Then, then at like maybe like 7 PM on Saturday, I get two calls from a, from a, um, a blank number and I hadn't saved his number yet. So it might've been him. I don't know. But obviously my voicemail is just me being like, hey, you've called kind.

Hey, good day, mate, et cetera. And then this is the voicemail note that is left. Oh no. Oh no, wait. Sorry. Suspense. I would never play audio into the fucking mic. Then this is the voicemail that's left.

Did you hear that? Yeah, that's it. That's it. A three-second voicemail. So I think what happened is that he... Is that he finally got the picture. He clocked that I have two lives, and that the one that he wanted was not on offer. It's kind of like I think the same thing happened to the prince

in the story of Cinderella. He thought he'd gotten this hot girl and turns out she's living in the cinders. So anyway, who knows what this Friday will bring? I just can't, I just think the magnetic force of Zelda is now undeniable. I know. Maybe you need to transition.

Maybe. Just for the dick alone. True. Every time I see someone on Grindr being like, just looking for like trans girls or whatever, I'm like, what about me? I have a wig. I know how to do winged liner. Is that good enough? And it's not. It's not. You stupid bit. Yeah. But anyway, how are you? Well, I'm good. Yeah. That was a beautiful story. Oh, thank you.

Thank you for offering that to the story circle. Yes, of course. That's not my gender. My story begins last night. I was doing some work and then I got done with the work and it was 10 o'clock at night and then I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone in bed and then I started having,

what can only be described as a coughing fit. And I started coughing and I couldn't stop coughing and I said, I'm just gonna hang up and try and like chill out for a second because I was finding it really hard to breathe. And I was like, maybe I'm having an asthma attack and I haven't had asthma since I was a kid, but apparently there was supposedly because of the plane trees and asthma bomb that detonated in Melbourne because of like

stormy weather and all this stuff. Like yesterday. Yeah. Anyway. So then it continues and continues. So I call the late night nurse, um, which is like that service. I know that character. Yeah. Uh, with the power of listening and responding. Um, and I was explaining what was happening. I was like, I can't breathe. My chest is really tight.

And I'm coughing like nonstop. And she's like, right. And can you explain is this happening? Is this happening? Is this happening? And I'm like, and then she's like, I'm sorry, I'm gonna put you in touch with emergency services because I think we need to send an ambulance. Oh my god. And I'm like, okay. And then so she puts me through to emergency services and she's like, if you get disconnected at all, please call the ambulance immediately. And I was like, okay. And then she put me through and the ambulance person I was like, this is what's happening. This isn't just like, okay, do you have any aspirin in the house? I was like aspirin. And then I'm like, oh my God, they think I'm having a heart attack because you need aspirin immediately as a

blood thinner if you're having a heart attack. And I'm looking around my house. You've got ammo. And I get up and immediately when I get up, I start feeling really dizzy. Oh my God. And then I'm like, fuck, this is actually really something I've never felt before. And I'm like running to the kitchen, through and as I'm running I'm like, and then my whole left arm goes numb and it starts tingling and I'm like,

I am actually having a heart attack right now. And then they're like on the emergency services, they're like, is anyone home with you? We just need to make sure you turn on the front line and unlock the door so that the Ambers can get in. And I'm like, yeah, my housemates are here but they were in bed. So I like knock on the door, poor Carlos and Neil and Neil's got to bed

and he's got work tomorrow at like five. And so I'm like, Carlos, please, I need help. And then he comes out of his room, Carlos, his father has suffered multiple heart attacks in his life. And so he's the emergency services woman is like, please lie down, make yourself as comfortable as possible. And then we'll have people with you shortly. Carlos is like, what's happening? What's happening? I'm like, I don't know what's happening. I can't breathe. But I'm like, I think I might be having a heart attack. And then he calls his mother, who had been through his father having a heart attack. Yeah. So he calls his mother in Colombia. Yeah.

He's pacing up and down the hallway, speaking in Spanish really quickly to his mother in Colombia. And I'm lying there and she's like, listen, I'm going to hang up now, but wait, like if you, if it doesn't arrive soon, just call us back. Mm-hmm. And so I'm lying there, my arm is tingling, I can't breathe. my arm is tingling, I can't breathe. And then I'm like, and then the ambulance arrives. And Carlos goes and flags them down, they come inside. And it's this like, the most slam-boyant man that I've ever met that's talking about his wife, sure. And this very cool gal who would definitely be like, a forensic evidence person on NCIS. Classic Gabby. And they're like, we're just

going to do like put the sensors like stickums on your chest and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And do the full thing, check your blood oxygen level. And I'm like, okay, thank you. And like I was like lying there being like, am I about to die? Like, I was like, is this going to happen? Because I was like, am I about to die? Like, I was like, is this gonna happen? Because I was like, this is crazy. I really can't, like, I've never experienced this. And then he was like, you're actually fine. He's like, your blood's fine, your heart rhythm is fine. I think what's happened is that you've had

a full coughing fit and because the CO2 build up in your bloodstream, everything started going numb and it might take a while for it to return to normal. Oh my God. But what I would do is just have a like a Panadol and go to bed. That's good medical advice. What happens now? And he's like, what do you mean? I'm like, do I, what, who do I pay? And he's like, do you have ambulance insurance? I'm like, no. And he's like, and he's like, it's $70 a year, darling.

And I was like, I don't have that. And he's like, so it's probably going to be a couple. And he's like, do you have private health? And I was like, no. And then he's like, right. What do you have? And I was like, nothing. And look around this room.

What about this room? And I was like, I'd like to tell you that it'd be cleaner normally, but why are you making bits while you're mid heart attack? Because I may as well go out the way I live. Oh my God. I told them I was sick. And then he was like, yeah, it's probably going to cost you a couple of hundred dollars. And I was like, that's okay. Um, and then they left and then I was just like, the coughing had subsided by them, but like the tightness has not left me. Um, and he was like, your throat is really inflamed.

I was like, probably from suckers. Um, but yeah, hectic. What the fuck? I know. Oh my God. Hectic. So it's really, it's funny. Like there are nights.

Like. There were nights when the wind was so cold. That was so, wait, were you on the dance floor last weekend? When on Friday, when Celine was playing? You'd love to go on that circuit dance floor. Oh my God, it was so fun. You wouldn't act... I'm too sweaty for that shit.

I'm like, this is not my natural habitat. It was so funny. There was like this remix of Celine. It was so funny. Um, but yeah, like you and I, like I would say with, this is like a handful of like, you're like close, close friends. And like, you would be one of them who like, we never have to like a handful of like, you're like close, close friends and like you would be one of them who like, we never have to send a message of like, Hey, how are you?

Yeah. Cause like, it's just a constant dialogue. Like we will message each other. I just saw a bird with a weird face. Why did you bring up my last message? Um, like at any hour of the day, at whatever point and we'll like, it's just a constant stream of consciousness. And then it's funny you say that because this morning I was like, that was a quiet night

last night. I didn't really talk too late. Like I don't know, we didn't really say anything. And I was having sex until like 1 AM and then I had to get up at five. So I'm exhausted. Who are we having sex until like 1 a.m. and then I had to get up at five, so I'm exhausted. Who are we having sex with? Oh my God, this guy. It's like such a white whale story.

It's amazing. Bad teeth? Oh, it's, yeah. Nice teeth or bad teeth? Beautiful teeth. Oh, good. Yeah. But anyway, and there's other funny things there,

but I have to tell you off camera. Off mic. But anyway, and there's other funny things there, but I have to tell you off camera. But yeah, when I, when like he finally left, I was like, checked my phone and I was like, I didn't get any messages. Yeah. I was like, I have to check back in. And then it's cause I was dying. Yes. So that, yes. Actually though. Yeah. Cause before that, which I did tell this story on Brenda's show,

so I don't want to, you know, cross contaminate, but it's such a good story that I think you can hear it twice. Wait, where can we find Brenda's show? Go and watch Brenda TV on YouTube for watching me in clothes that don't fit me eating food badly on mic. Perfect. It's incredible. This is the career I've designated for myself.

You did a react with her. Oh, we did react to the snatch. I know, but we posted every five seconds. You did a react with her. Oh, sorry. Just quickly speaking of, we will resume the Patreon movie club. We need to do two now. Actually. Yeah, I know we've got two. We'll do the one with Matt and then we'll do another one. Yeah. Matt? What are we doing? Zoltob.

Zoltob. Zardos. Yes, that's what I said. Yeah. Anyway, Brenda. So before my heart attack, which I realized when I was having my heart attack, or my asthma attack, or whatever it was. It was an attack. I was attacked. I believe the paramedic said it was a coughing fit.

Brought on by the asthma bomb, I can only assume. That I've simultaneously become my mum and my dad. Because my dad is so dramatic that through several times in my life, he's been like, I'm dying, when he thought he was having a heart attack. But then like also my mom used to have these like insane asthma attacks when I was a kid. So that was always like quite an intense thing. Anyway, she was not dramatic about it though.

She was like, I just need to lie down for a second. Yeah. Anyway, lungs, they're not for everyone. No. Um, but then just before my event, my heart event, I, I was doing my quarterly laundry and I'd taken all my laundry, because Kurjan's about to come back. Yes, yes. And I had the giant green waist bag filled with all my laundry. And so I...

The waist bag filled with your daily clothes. Yes. Well, now that's... I was saying like, Brenda, there's a reason I'm wearing what I'm wearing today. I'm wearing a jock strap. I'm wearing sample a reason I'm wearing what I'm wearing today. I'm wearing a jock strap. I'm wearing a sample merch and I'm wearing, uh, all my old overalls. Yeah. And, um, so the only reason I'm wearing this collection of things is cause it's actually nothing less to wear.

She was like, I was wondering why you were wearing that. Cause I could see it through your overalls. She said, if you want to, and it's anyway, I would never voluntarily wear a jock strap, like just in the day to day. Oh my God. Anyway, so I was like, it's time to finally get to this washing, which I normally would do like,, yeah, like, I'd get through everything and then be like, okay, now it's time. Yeah. Just because like, it's so, like, it's just,

it's my least favorite thing in the world, doing washing. Yeah, yeah. I hate how long it takes. It's like, you put it in the machine, great, set, forget, done, oh no, come back, 45 minutes, like an awkward amount of time. Yeah. Like, forget, done. Oh no. Come back 45 minutes, like an awkward amount of time. Like you can't really go and do anything else in that time. You kind of have to stay home or else it's going to get a smell if it stays in the machine. So then you're like, okay, but come back and then hang it out.

I don't know what the weather is going to be. You can really only do this at the start of the day. Hang out your stuff and then set it to dry and then come back probably in like six hours, maybe eight. And so it's another kind of awkward time. It's not like the length that you could go and have a movie or whatever. No, come back at a weird amount of time and then take it all in. And then what do you do? I don't know, fold it. Maybe put it away. Maybe I'm not doing all of that.

Anyway, so I get to the, and I waited until the Tuesday because I was like, I hate it when you're there on the Sunday and the fakers who only have like one machine's worth come in and they're like, go to the laundromat. Yeah. Cause then I can dry it all. Oh, you use the dry. Like I can wash it and dry it. And it's like a hundred bucks, 70 bucks.

Wait, what? Yeah. That's how much a laundromat costs. Yeah, it's expensive. Oh my God. There's like 40 bucks to get four washing machines. And then four washing machines worth of clothing. Four of the triple loaders.

Oh my God. It's everything I own. I know. And then you use up about four or five of the dryers. Okay. What do you do with underwear? You just have a new pair every day. Yeah.

For three months. Darling, this has been a long form system. I didn't just wake up and start trying to do this. I'm busy. I'm on television. And my excuse before that was I was going to be on television. And my excuse before that was I'm going to be on television. And my excuse before that was I'm trying to be on television. Yeah.

Anyway, so this, it's quite stressful because you don't want to be like, sometimes like someone will come in with their like Sunday washing that they've washed at home, like a fucking loser. And then they like, just want to use the dryer because they've worked tomorrow or whatever, like this is their emergency run. But some cunt has used up all the dryers doing their quarterly wash. That's me. And then they walk up and they look at all the dryers and then they look across

to the one person sitting in the laundromat, just sitting there being like, I don't know who's... And I don't want to feel pressured because like just because it says six minutes left on the dryer doesn't mean that that's how long I want that dryer for. I might want another 20. I got to open it up, feel the towel, know whether it's dry or not. Anyway, so I waited till Tuesday because I perfected the system and I was like, okay, Tuesday is a good day.

It's not Monday anymore. No one's really doing a lot of washing on a Tuesday. And so I go and use my four washers, the banger washers, and they have three new ones that take Fpos and one that just takes coins, which is fine because that's what I save my cash for. $70 worth of coins? Each one is $10. No, but they have a coin machine. You just got to have notes. Anyway, so I use the old machine first, the only coin one. And I'm like, that's good, we'll get this out of the way.

And I parked in a 10 minute spot. So I was like, okay, I'll just quickly put them all on. And then I'll go and move the car and then it'll be fine. So I put all the things in the first one and then I set it to wash. And then I'm like, okay, now let's get to the next one. And then I turn around and there's a puddle in front of the machine. And it started washing. And one of my socks a puddle in front of the machine. And it started washing. And one of my socks is caught in the seal of the machine.

And it's like this, like, Venus de Milo sock, like, staring out at me as she's, like, getting, like... You've forsaken me! And it's when I realized that it's the only machine that they still have at the posh wash laundrette that doesn't have an emergency stop on it. And there's no way to stop it. And the water just keeps coming and it's pouring and pouring out. And I'm like looking and they have security cameras, but it's after hours.

So there's no one there. And so I'm like looking and I'm like looking down to the back of the machine to see if I can unplug it or whatever, but I can't even reach down that far into the abyss to unplug it because it's all built in and it's this giant machine. And then I'm like, Oh my God. And like the water is starting to run across the other side of the room and pool near the door and then flow out the door. And I'm like, oh my god.

And then like, I like, if you watch the security footage back of this room, it would have been like the most Mr. Magoo. And so I start like getting towels out of my like other washing and throwing them down on the ground and then quickly run out of the towels that I was washing and I was like, oh my god. And then like start getting t-shirts and like random clothes that I categorize as being absorbent and like throwing them down across the room. And I'm like, and then like this person comes in and they're like, lazy Susan.

Oh my God. Like with all my clothes on the ground. And they're like, no, not like this. And then like there's a, like a wedge keeping the door open, like a wooden wedge. And you closed the laundromat. And then I grabbed the wedge and I'm like, if I can just like pull open the door a little bit because it's sealed shut, but the sock is keeping it ajar. If I pull it open and jam the wedge in at the right moment, the sock will get sucked

back into the cycle. And so I do that. And like the Venus de Malle is like, do it please, kill me. And then I shoved it in and it was, she was sucked back in and then it sealed. And so it was back and it was fine. And it was so stressful. The whole place was flooded. And then I just start sopping it up and then taking my sopping wet laundry floor

clothes and shoving them into the machine. And then I put the like wedge down in this old, the most frail woman, old woman you've ever seen in your life comes like holding her like laundry basket with her three hankies in it. And she's shaking as she's coming into the room. And then the door is no longer chocked open. And so I'm holding it open and I'm like, it's really wet, so just be really careful, please.

And she's like, okay. Oh dear. And she's got her little soft nurse shoes, like you know the type. And so I'm like, give her a hand across the room. And I'm like, I'm's got her little soft nurse shoes, like, you know, the type. And so I'm like, give her a hand across the room and I'm like, I'm so sorry. It's really wet. I'm like kind of dry everything up and it's really slippery as well. Yeah.

Cause it would have been like sudsy water. Yeah. And then this other old woman shows up out of nowhere. She's even more frail than the last one, but she's like mumbling under her breath and she's holding like a handkerchief in front of her mouth and she's like, She's putting a witch's curse. I was like, maybe this is why this happened. And then she was like, and then she like picked up the triangle, the wooden

chock that had been keeping the door open and held it up and she was like, and then I was like, okay. And I'm still trying to clean stuff. And then she walks off into the night, holding the wooden chalk. She took the doorstop. She stole it! And I was so like, wait, did that bitch just steal the fucking door chalk? So in a way you flooded the laundromat, but in another way you cleaned the floor at the laundromat.

I cleaned that floor. Yeah. And you know what? I think any other person wouldn't have done what I did. Like had their socks stuck in the door? Yeah, probably not. What happened at the end? Did you just have another heart attack?

Well, that's, and then the heart attack happened. Yeah, I'm like, I think that- Oh, that was before the heart attack. Maybe the stress of this event could have another heart attack? Well, that's, and then the heart attack happened. Yeah, I'm like, I think that- Oh, that was before the heart attack. Maybe the stress of this event could have contributed to your physical state. Well, that's the, yeah, listen, I'm not pretending that my life is glamorous, um, but it is, um, like it is, it is what it is. And it, yeah.

It is what it is. You get what you get and sometimes you get wet. Whoa. Do you know the Kate Bush song about washing machines? My washing machine. My washing machine. No. Washing machine. It's so good.

Clearly very different to what I just... Washing machine. My washing machine. No. different than what I just, my washing machine. Anyway, I think what I deserve is a giant. I actually just, if I could be rich, if I could be rich, and I was saying this to Kierchen, my husband, I was like, I would pay someone to just do my washing. Yeah. That would like, I don't want any other exuberance.

I don't really care about most things that like come with wealth. I don't want nice jewelry. I don't give a shit about the car that I drive, like whatever. But like, if there was someone who could just remove that banal task from my life. And he thought that that was the most ridiculous thing he'd ever heard. I just hate it. I hate it. It's not fun. I love hate it. I hate it. It's not fun.

I love washing dishes. I love doing those things because it's like, it's such a, like you apply yourself and then it's done. It's a job that you can really like clearly understand. Like I can look at this situation and say that's 35 minutes or whatever to clean this. It's going to take that long with washing. You're like, I don't know, five days. Who cares? Who knows?

Well, it's so like the weather can betray you. I did washing late last week. I ran into washing all the time because I like, I just find it easier to just like get it done. So I do it like every couple of days. Weird. But I did a load. And then when I wore the t-shirt on Monday to work, it stank. Like of like being like damned.

Yeah. And I was like, but it was like 36 degrees on the weekend. I was like, ow. This is it. It hasn't in what? There are so few tasks left in human society, in contemporary human society that have such a high failure rate as washing. Why the fuck do we still have these issues?

Also, my favorite washing powder was out of stock. What do you use? So I had to get something else. I used to use Fab, the one with like the, like the purple frangipani scent, whatever it's called. And then I had to buy Omo and it was very expensive. And I thought that was outrageous. I don't like either of those disgusting things.

And now this week I feel like I'm sleeping in a stranger's bed because the sheets smell different. I, they smell like Omo fragrance instead of purple. I can't handle like an overly scented, I hate that. Like laundry detergent. Yes. I like that all natural one that comes in the matte paper box with the black and white

photo of the children sitting in front of the tree. Oh no, because I've used that brand's dishwashing liquid and it fucking sucks. You need to use half the bottle to wash one mug. Well listen, I can't tell you how to live your life. Terrible. They have a geranium scented washing powder. It's fabulous. No, I don't believe it's washing.

It's not washing. It's not drying. I just don't want too much washing. Yeah. I need it to return to a neutral scent. It can't be like. Oh yeah, no, I don't want it to be. It can't be any scent.

No, I have scent. Yeah. Like fragrances. Oh no, you think I spent $300 on this diptyque scent or whatever? To then smell like, frangipani fresh? No. No. Okay.

How does the world end this week? Listen up. For better or for worse, our little planetary system is all out of whack. Like, all of the natural rotations around the sun are just fucked. And there's a lot of water in the outer atmosphere. And it's all, of course, turned to ice, because it's so cold out there.

But it's all, like, grouped strangely into a gigantic spike of ice. And, um, I don't know, like, as the into a gigantic spike of ice. And, um, I don't know, like, as the years have gone by, it's formed and spinning faster and faster and faster. And then eventually it has been driven on a collision course and it's pierced through the earth. And the earth has been split into by a giant spike of ice. And now the planet is destroyed. Well, that's so good.

The spike of ice really is the cherry on the cake. Thank you. And with that, we'll be right back. To my... To every... World. Welcome back everyone. Hello. It is time for us to discuss which podcast gets into the bunker.

They need to listen to something down there. Controversial. Conflict of interest, I'd say. You think it's going to be this one, Matt? No, I just think that who are you to decide? Oh, well, I'm still got it. Any of the topics we discussed. Um, okay.

Well, you have no experience with any of the things that you just got. Oh, very dare. You don't know what you're talking about. I've been a vibe before. Yeah. I've been a people's cover or something. Sexy's been alive. So according to good tea, no.

Oh, Sexyest Woman Alive. So, my... I've oscillated with my favorite podcast. I've got three favorites at the moment. Uh-huh. Number... Well, yeah, number one, but in no particular order. Number one is Scary, is scary stories.

Wait, let me just, disclaimer. If you go and listen to these podcasts and stop listening to us, go kill yourself. Yeah. Or whatever. Sorry, like a nice version. Yeah. I hope a big ice spike finds you. Yeah.

Yeah. As you are like halfway through the episode, so you don't even get to finish it. Yeah. Unless you're listening to this, in which case, you're about one fifth of the way through. Mm-hmm. And how? Oh, my God. Um, yes. So, Scary Stories to Tell in the Pod,

which is these like, um, like American comedians, who have names, I guess, who talk about... Originally started where they went through each, like, story in Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, who talk about, originally started where they went through each like story in scary stories to tell in the dark. And then they got through every single one of those. And now they just talk about different urban legends and like other, like scary stories and stuff. The scary stories to tell in the dark had the best cover.

It was holographic with this haunting ink image on the front. So good. Andrew Farmer and what's the girl's name? Anna Dresen? She's like an SNL girl. But they're very funny and just like stupid and silly. And yeah, so love that one. Then I love Bridget and Holly's podcast.

Girls Next Level. Girls Next Level. Where they break down every episode of Girls of the Playboy Mansion or what's the American name for that show? Girls Next Door. Girls Next Door. Because they were part of the three girls, including Kendra, who were dating Hugh Hefner in the mid early to mid 2000s. And they have many stories to tell about that whole crazy life.

And I just find them really endearing. And I love listening to them talk about literally anything. They're very compelling. And I love the stupid ads that they do. I can't wait till anyone listens to this podcast so we can do stupid ads. Because the way that they read them is so funny and they're so disingenuous and it's perfect. It's like, like every word that they say is a lie. And my favorite ads that they do, in fact, maybe this is what I would like to go in the bunker is they do

this ad for a iPhone or like a phone game called June's Journey. Oh, yeah. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do know called June's Journey. Oh, yes. Do you know what I'm talking about? I do know the June's Journey. Oh my God. It's so good. Isn't that supposed to be erotica? I think it's like laced with that.

It's like a murder mystery app. Kind of like, I'm guessing it's like, Like a Bejeweled or like, It's got to have like elements of puzzles. And then there's elements of like, uh, property management. So you can like design your like Villa or whatever. And then I feel like it's kind of like missed where like there's like a click adventure for like clues and shit.

But the way that they talk about it is so like evil. It's so fake. I love playing June's Journey. You know, when I'm like waiting, or like... I took a flight to Colorado last week, and so I played at June's Journey, which you can play offline. Yeah.

Oh, it's so evil. Yeah, they always have an anecdote of like how they're using this product. Of the different times they play it, and like, you know, like they've just added a new chapter, and like, you too can find out, like, oh, it's so good. Incredible. Oh, I love it. I love it. I love it. So maybe that's what I would like to read. Just that ad. Bad ad reading from Holly and Bridget.

Yes. Just playing over the PA. Yeah. And then my latest acquisition is What the Duck, which is an ABC podcast by, um, what's her name? Anne, whatever. Not our Anne, different Anne, um, where they just talk about different animal topics and they're so good. And she's really funny. Anne, she's just, yeah. Hmm.

That's good. So they're my three favorites. And then this one. And then I also like listening to Race Chaser and some of the other drag podcasts, love Delta and I do listen to Bob and Monnage. But yeah. Oh, well don't get me started on Bob Drag Queen. Has she watched episode one yet? No. And she was so arbitrarily like contrarian when she got asked by that reporter whether she

could listen to it. And I was like, could you just get your foot off my neck for a second? Yeah. Because I just wish you would be like, I'm so excited to watch it. Yes. They seem fun. Yeah. If Holly and Bridget can lie about June's journey, Bob the fucking drag queen can lie about being excited to watch Down Under.

And, uh, just, it's just like, when we, when, when do we get like a second to not look like such goobers? Like, I get it when we're not, we're not like the other girls not look like such goobers? I know. Like I get it. We're not like the other girls, but can't you just pretend? No. It's a really good season. Shut up. OK.

Tell me about your podcast, Diva. OK. So my favorite podcast of all time is Blank Check with Griffin and David. And that's where an actor and an Atlantic film reviewer talk about various directors and talk about their careers and go film by film and have interesting guests on. I've just pulled up a picture of June's journey. It's worse than I ever could have imagined. She's a detective. Who will play June?

Ooh. Catherine Zeta. Yes. That's a Bob. Yes. But she's a bit too, she's aged out of June. Um, June, June 2, Denis Villeneuve. Um, anyway, I love that podcast, but it's like very famous for having very,

very long episodes, like three hour episodes, um, which I love cause I want long episodes where I can really just sink my teeth in. You know, there's podcasts you've been listening to so long that you've like seen, you've seen people through like insane life events and things. And like, I've just been listening to the show for so long now and every single episode that I've just like, feel like I know these people very intimately. Bitch, I just found out you had a heart attack last night. Yeah.

So. Heart event. So heart event. Heart attack. Um, get your tickets. Anyway, so there was that. And then I love, um, the business, uh, which is a podcast about the like movie industry.

Um, and there's a woman named Brooke, who's this like very like, she's the editor at large for the Hollywood reporter and she's like being around and she's got this like rice sardonic voice and she's clearly like, fuck this town, but like also nothing gets past me. And she's clearly like, fuck this town, but like also nothing gets past me. And she like was instrumental in like breaking a bunch of like stories about abuse allegations inside of LA. And like, she just has such a great, like iconic energy. And then like, obviously this American life is probably the most like formative

like radio texts that I've ever, like I've listened to this American life since it was actually just on the radio. Um, but it is so important to me, like, and, and I, now I wouldn't listen to it necessarily every week, but like every, like it is so, it's the best, it's the best piece of radio work. Like some of those episodes are just incredible. If you like ever get an opportunity, there's an incredible episode that like, I think changed my life. Um, which is this American life on the life of David Rakoff. And it is so beautiful and incredible.

And like just Ira Glass is such an incredible radio presenter. Um, and it's like, obviously it's so informs what happened next for all of the podcasting industry that it's kind of easy to forget. Hmm. What an amazing influence this show had on radio and the sound of radio, but like, oh my God, this American life is everything. this show had on radio and the sound of radio, but like, oh my God, this American life is everything. Um, and then fiction podcasts.

I loved that, um, homecoming with, uh, Catherine Keener is really good. And Oscar Isaac, that was like, I love a fiction podcast. Um, yeah. Any like little radio play moments. I love the truth. That's a podcast. I like, it play moments. I love the truth. That's a podcast. So like, it's like an anthology show where they have like fun science fiction

stories or whatever, and they're like little radio plays that just go for like half an hour. Radio play. That's fun. And, um, yeah, I think that's like all my favorites, but I listened to a lot of podcasts, oh, Who Weekly, incredible podcast where they discuss who, liberties, people that are not quite famous to become thems, but they're just who's like read aura. Yeah.

Yeah. That's some of them. I realized as well, I do actually love Velma's podcast. Velma Velour. Velma Velour. Controversy. It's actually so good. And Velma, if you're listening, we're actually so overdue to have you on, but she has a few episodes where she talks about the lives of like famed, like icons of burlesque and that

world. And they are so informative and engaging. And I can only like, as someone who has had a podcast and does very little research, she does so much research into those episodes and it's so fabulous. So love that one as well. But I am dismayed to hear that... Sorry, I'm having a hard time. Did you hear that the American Life podcast isn't just Madonna each week breaking down? This is American life.

I'm drinking a salate. I get a double shot. I cross it to my buddy and you know I'm satisfied. Yeah, no, not that. I drive a Mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Oh, she was there. Yeah. I drive a Mini Cooper and I'm feeling super duper. Oh, she was there. Yeah. May I do this to any podcast? I just listen to this one every week after. You do not.

No, no, I don't really. Good. No, I do. You? I need to just know what we've said. I prefer not. Just censor everything. No, my partner listens to this podcast every week.

Hello. She didn't listen to it for the first, like half a year. And then she just listened to all of it. She realized motherhood is boring. I need to listen to people having a lot of time and just like laying there, trying to get your child to go to sleep. So she's got a little earbud in and pick up a lot of time just like laying there trying to get your child to go to sleep. So I hope we can earbud in and pick up a bunch of new moms.

I think that we'd be good for new moms. Yeah, I know of many new moms who listen to this podcast. Yeah, she has a good laugh. I'm always so horrified to find out what our demographics are on the Spotify app because it tells you and we're like 65% men. I know. How did that happen? What?

Don't you know how much we hate you all? I want women. Yeah. Isn't it just the gays? Yeah, probably. We can't call them the gays, Matt. I don't know what to say. What's the right word?

I don't know what you guys want me to use. Who's and that's and what's, right word? I don't know what you guys are me who's in that and what's, you know, you know, your girl, your boy, your dog, your cat. That's a classic Paris opening. Back when she was at the Greyhound, you were like, hello, welcome everyone. I, you know, I don't care what you are. I don't care if you're a boy or a girl or a cat or a dog. I just, I'm just so glad you're here. Oh, Paris.

I love that. And those luscious lips. Oh, luscious kissing lips. Um, no, I'm not, I don't listen to much podcasts to be honest. I, I. That's so weird. Your energy says I listen to podcasts. Yeah.

You'd think so. You got the glasses. I know I'm very bookish. And, um, the only one that I used to listen to quite a lot was song exploder, I love song exploder. With Harishakesh Hiraway. Harishakesh Hiraway. Yeah. Is that his name?

Yeah. Harishakesh Hiraway. Well, I can't say it, but it was a good one. Herisha Keish Hiroe. Herisha Keish Hiroe. You know, Japanese is the language of the bunker. Yeah. Cause it was quite like good for getting perspectives on how to write songs.

It's so cool. Yeah. It's a guy who goes through with an artist and they explain like every part of making a song. Yeah. And from like how they wrote it to like how they kind of recorded it. And they get some really great artists in, but it's usually them talking about a track that maybe isn't their biggest hit.

So it's quite interesting. Yeah. That reminds me of something that I like, which is, which is like, like behind the scenes videos of like, this is how we made Gamera's sound. And it's like them like hitting us, pulling a drum across the floor. Yeah. I love that. Is that what it's like? It is. It do be like that.

Hmm. Something like that. Is that what it's like? It is. It do be like that. Mmm. Something like that. Camera. Do do do. Yeah. Apart from that, just, I don't know, like, um, sometimes I listen to... My friends have a podcast called What Artists Eat, which is just kind of like discussing food and art and music, I guess. Pringles. Pringles, yeah. It's about cooking and like nourishing yourself as and music, I guess. Pringles. Pringles.

Yeah. It's about cooking and like nourishing yourself as an artist, pretty much. I know. Um, and then, and then I always listen to this one called, um, the rest is history, which is like these two really geeky guys talking about history. Um, yeah. And it's quite good because they, they're like very, they're very, very smart and they're very, very knowledgeable.

And then sometimes they just have like a little bit of banter and the English as well. So it kind of like- When you're like deprived of banter and you become so like, and then you get like the littlest glimmer of a real person's vibe. That's quite funny. It's all very factual. And then suddenly they're like, oh, this character sounds a bit like you, Tom. And he's like, Oh, but man, this podcast called death to everyone.

And we're daughter and lazy, not Tom. And I'm not talking about your one, but you were saying that they're so intellectual and they have a little bit of banter. Yeah. It could have been describing this podcast. I guess. Yeah. You're right.

Good banter. There's elder. Well done. Another point. Just one. My first point for the day. Well, for the show, you've never received a point here before. Huh.

Hmm. But there's just some crazy things that have happened in history. I'd say almost everything happened. Yeah, but I've just been listening to some stories and I'm like, holy moly. When did, how did that happen? Holy duly in peace. You know what I mean? I wish.

It's so crazy. I'm thinking about irrigation. You know, sometimes I think. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I have the Romans built the aqueducts. Hmm.

It really takes me a second to really engage with history. What do you think about all the like semi controversy this week about them editing out the two gay kisses in gladiator two? They care about that. Yeah. So apparently there's like a scene where like someone kisses someone. These are famous people, but I just can't remember their names. But then- Paul Masgall? Cause he's in the bunker.

Is Denzel Washington in it? Yeah. I think they kiss. They kiss? I think. I don't know. Or something. But then apparently, like they instantly then like fight to the death and someone dies or something. So they cut it out because they, they cut it out. And then there's another thing where like Pedro kisses Mezcal on the noggin or something, but they cut it out apparently. And then it's been this whole thing of like, show us the kisses.

Show us the gladiator kiss. Yeah. Well, that's it. I feel like Ridley Scott's like, well, they did fill the Colosseum with water sometimes and put sharks in there. And I'm like, yeah, but they were also fucking each other in the ass. Yeah. So why are we spending all this time stretching our imagination

to be like, maybe the Colosseum was filled with water when you can't even get the fucking bare face? I also don't give a shit about this. Did they have seen in the new movie? What? Filling it with water? Yeah. Really? They have a shit... It's in the trailer. I haven don't give a shit about this. Did they have seen in the new movie? What? You're filling it with water? Yeah.

Really? They have a shit, it's in the trailer. I haven't watched the trailer. Oh. What do you know about this film? The Gay Kid. Literally that. I just don't, I mean like I don't care. Oh, I don't care.

I don't care because I would never, I mean, I'm not, I'm not Glickard. I'm not going to go and do the Glickard. I saw that today. I was like, you can't try to make that work. So I'm trying to make Barbenheimer happen. Yeah. Glick-ed. Glick-ed.

I was like, what's the gl? You go and see Gladiator and Wicked. But I feel like it should have been Glack-ed. Where were you? Glack-dick-ed. Glad... Gladdick-ed. Just Glick-ed.

Gladdick. It doesn't work. Glicks down. Who cares, Zelda? Who cares? Wait, what's gladiator? Wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, wic, Yeah. So yeah, I don't, yeah. Within the Wires is another really good podcast. And that's like a fake.

Each season kind of takes on a new bent to tell like an interesting fictional story. So one season it's like all stages of each tape is a relaxation meditation videos, and then you've like slowly hear this conspiracy coming out through the meditation videos. And then when we get, one season it's all like a docent taking you through a museum describing these artworks. And then you slowly learn that you're in like an alternate history and stuff. It's quite cool.

The first podcast I ever listened to... Yeah. ...was called Waller FM, which was like a fake radio show. And initially there were just like six episodes, which I listened to, like maybe 20 times each. Love that. And then years later they did more episodes. But it was by David Firth, like the Salad Fingers guy.

Oh, that's cute. And they are more episodes, but it was by David Firth, like the salad fingers guy. Oh, that's cute. Um, and they are so funny. Those episodes are really funny. And I actually, I have incorporated many of the little stupid phrases from that into my lexicon. So you probably know an example. Give me an example. Come on. Um, stop fiddling. Give me an example. Go on. Um, stop fiddling. Give me an example. Oh, is that one? No, no, no. Actually, no. Actually no.

Is that one? No. Is that one now? What is that one? Okay. Well, now you're stressing me out. Is that one? No, no, no.

We know isn't one. I'll tell you when I me out. Is that one? No. No, no, no isn't one. I'll tell you when I'm doing one. Is that it? What punk cards are we putting in the bunker? I think, I think I obviously, like I think sincerely it is my favorite art form is audio, like audio plays and things. I think it is the thing I feel the most

emotional resonance with. It's the art that stays with me the most. Yeah. Oh my gosh, we say it on three. Yeah. Oh no, you've got more buildups. No, no. Three, two, one. War of the Worlds! Oh. I rewatched the movie of War of the Worlds the other day. I love that movie.

The Spielberg one with Tom Cruise. I was going to say the Tom Cruise one. It was good. I love War of the Worlds with Tom Cruise and Dakota Fanning. Stop screaming, you little bitch. You're going to die. But yes, I agree.. You're going to die. But yes, I agree.

Holly and Bridget's fun. I think it's got to be that because that's such a good idea for the hour bunker. Yeah. And I also think in the way that like, if you're, stop playing with that mic stand. Don't tell me what to do. Is that from this? Is there someone in there with you? Is that an example from it?

Okay. But I think if you were going to try and ascertain something about human culture, Bridget and Holly reading June's Journey ad copy is kind of from there, you can extrapolate the entire history of humanity. Like truly. You could know about the Colosseum being filled with water just by listening and extrapolating to June's Journey. Yes. How did we get here? How did we get here? Where did these women come from?

Yeah. Where did America come from? Where did the English language come from? Mm-hmm. Where did June's journey go? Yeah. Go. What's journey in Latin?

Yeah. Yeah. What other journeys happened there? Yeah. Yeah. Gladiator. Ugh. I don't care.

I don't, I don't know if I'll even... Dusty? Cream and dusty? Yeah. Gladiator. Ugh. I don't care. I don't, I don't know if I'll even. Dusty, cream and dusty. Yeah. You think I want to watch a dusty movie? It's like, bury that. Why are men obsessed with dusty movies? Um, what is a dusty movie? Western.

Dark. Sooooon. Sand. Sand and everything. Speaking of Dune, I don't know if I'm going to watch that prequel. Dune's Journey. Like, I don't, I don't. We're not doing TV spin-offs.

No, I don't, I don't. Well, the alien one's finally nearly here. Alien Earth. Which, I don't know. Alien Earth? Is that when they took the S off and they put a TH at the end? Imagine if, I know how we're going to make a million dollars. Aliens.

Aliens. Aliens. That's good. That's a good guy. That's how we're going to write all our third three quals. I'm actually so stressed about... Aliens. Alien Earth. Yeah, but...

I also just think it's a stupid idea, because horror TV shows suck. Yes. Oh, I'm still suffering through that from. It's so bad. Why do you... You just watch... You just need to know when to bail out. Yeah. But I also... I don't know. I'm so invested.

You need to know where they're from. Yes. Those creatures. But... I did... Yeah. You need to know where they're from. Yes. There's pictures. Um, but, uh... I did, yeah. Yeah? No, I was just thinking about how much I started rewatching Loss and I was enjoying myself. What a good show. Ooh, that Evangeline.

Evangeline Lilly. Before the pixie cut. I hate Sawyer though. Shut up. Why is he so rude? Yeah, I don't like Sawyer. Yeah. No one would actually put up with that man. No.

Like in real life, if there was a plane and then there was some Southern guy who was being like absolutely a cunt to everyone, I'd be like, we're killing you and eating you in your sleep. Yeah. You know what I think about sometimes is like, you know, like the lever room. Yeah. How like it's all just a lie. Yeah.

And like, like it is just a cruel lie. Yeah. And like, and like, it is just a cruel experiment. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah. I just think about how like, if I was in there, I'd be like, well, we need to pull the lever now. Yeah. Like it's time. Yeah. And then we do it. And then like, I would just be so like, well, that's the task. I don't want to break the rules. Yeah. Oh, that makes me want to kill myself, but yeah, I don't, I don't care to break the rules. Yeah. Oh, that makes me want to kill myself. But yeah, I don't, I don't care about this HBO Dune. What's it called? Dune prophecy.

Yeah. I just, I dunno. And then I've seen some very like questionable little reels from it this week, cause it started. I'm like, I just am not enticed. No, as well, because it's like, darling, if the director of the project is not interested in doing that, then why should I be interested in seeing it? Yeah. And I think part, like it's expanding on something that will ruin it because

knowing little about the origins of like the, what are they? The Bene Gesserit? The Bene Gesserit. Which? Whatever, with like the voice and et cetera. This is the voice. That's what I think every time I see it. But it's like, I don't need to know.

Yeah, I watched the first episode and it's already handed up a lot. It's like, it feels like soapy, a bit soapy. Yeah. Well that's all of these shows have to become soaps in order to sustain themselves. Yeah. I'm like, I just don't need that. I need every single part. And you know what?

You know what? So they actually like, they, they show you the origin of the voice as well. Oh no. There's like one, one witch and she's like, trying to chase the other one. She's like, stop. And she was like, what was that? And it's like, just something I've been working on. No. I'll share it with you if you let, you know, stay here with me.

She's like, oh, she's like stab yourself in the throat. And did she do it? Yeah. Oh, spoiler. Hello. Yeah. Yep. Okay.

Well, this is a ring of power all over again. It was very silly. Yeah. I'm into it. Okay. If they can't have the clueless TV show go, then I don't want to see any other shows made out of movies. If I can't have the clueless TV show go,

then I don't want to see any other shows made out of movies. Clueless TV show. If the 10 Things I Hate About You show with that girl from Netsy Classified that's on drugs didn't get picked up, then I don't care about anything. You know what I was thinking about this week? The faculty. Oh, great.

Fucking love that movie. We should do that for Movie Club. Yeah. First we have to watch so many things that people have already voted. Yeah. You know what? I need to do a screenshot of this. I was going through my, like, Stan, like, viewing history when I was... I don't know why. And it's just, like, Drag Race, Drag Race, like, that stupid From show, and then some other things.

And then there's just Shrek in a sea of, like, ten different Drag Race franchises. Yeah. Like, oh! When's Shrek gonna be a guest judge? Come on. Okay. Bridget and Holly? You're in. Wait, are they in?

No, it's just the recording of them playing through the speakers. Okay. Yeah, that's good. Okay. Okay. Let's go and have a break and then we'll come back. Yeah. I'm gonna have a break and then we'll come back. Yeah. I'm going to have a heart of end.

You guys, it's time to talk about my favorite mobile game, June's Journey. It's a hidden object mystery game with a captivating detective story that takes you back to the glamour of the 1920s. There's a diverse cast of characters. Each new scene takes you further through a thrilling murder mystery story that sets the main protagonist, June Parker, on a quest to solve the murder of her sister

and uncover her family's many secrets. June's journey has everything I love. A mystery, glamour, the 1920s. You even get to decorate your own luxurious island estate. You can let your imagination run wild when decorating this island estate with expansive gardens, beautiful buildings. You can even collect scraps of information to fill your photo album and learn more about each character. And you know I love scrapbooking. Welcome back, listener. I just sooling you up to you. Got a message. Can I read this to you? Oh no, it's a comment. Yes.

The comment reads, okay, you are iconic. Heart, heart, heart. What's with the okay at the start? Okay. Okay. Like, sorry, let's put it all aside. Um, to which content? To me talking about my Lacey Susan dress. Oh, very good. Okay. You are iconic.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Give me the vibe of this person. Oh, I haven't even looked. Yeah, have a look, darling. I need to know the vibe of who would start a sentence with okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay. Give me the vibe of this person. Oh, I haven't even looked. Yeah, have a look darling. I need to know the vibe of who would start a sentence with, okay. Okay. Okay. Oh, they just followed me as well. Okay.

I'm just surprised. Oh, they're like a fit bitty. A muscle man. Oh. Okay. Okay. You're a conic. Diva.

Diva bitch. Okay. So it's chronic. Diva. Diva bitch. Okay. So it's time for us to discuss which pin gets into the bunker. I find this brooch to be on reproach. To be beyond reproach. Anyway. Bobby pin.

Bobby pin. You love him. Bobby pins. The wig stylist. Yeah. Safety pin. Oh,ins, the wig status. Yeah. Uh, Safety Pin. Oh. Fucking hate wig safety pins.

Really say, more like secretly gonna stab you at one point in your life. Betray you under the slightest bit of pressure. I hate that. You say that to people in your team all the time. I'm gonna call you Safety Pin. Why? You'll betray me under the slightest bit of pressure. Yeah. And also where can you buy good quality ones?

You can't. It doesn't exist. I'll pay for it. The design is flawed. I like, I'll pay- The design is flawed, Zelda. I'll pay a dollar a pin. The design is flawed. It's so shit.

It's the issue is the design is flawed. It's so shit. It's the issue is the design is flawed. I hate that. I know. Galvanized steel, that's what they need on the spine. Cause the issue is that they're spineless. Yes. They suck. The design is flawed.

We know what they can do. What? Stab you. Yeah. That's why I actually sometimes prefer it's just a straight pin. At least I know where I stand. True. Just give me a straight pin and we'll have the blade out at all times.

Yeah. Okay. Um, but I presume you wanted to plug your merch or something. I love my merch. Actually, I just got a message from a guy who was like, I still haven't received my merch. And I was like, I hate running a small business. I'm like, I, yeah, that sucks. I probably have to do something about that now. Ugh. Yeah. What's your service line? It's actually really good.

I respond immediately and I'm like, I'm so sorry that you have to waste your money on me. It's because someone the other day was like, I received the wrong thing. I got like a t-shirt and a pin and I was like, oh, I'm so sorry. Even though the order was like three times the value of what they'd originally bought and they're like, I can send back what I got. I was like, no, I'm a worm. I'm a little worm in dirt.

Just keep it. You deserve it. And so, um, sorry for inconveniencing you. Truly. Anyway. So this person has been through hell and now I need to send them their merch. Yeah. Yeah.

But you have a section of pins. Yes, I have gorgeous pins, soft enamel pins, because I don't like the shiny flat top pins. I think they're annoying. They look too cheap. Whereas to me, like an iconic soft enamel pin, which is where it's sunken around the stuff is like very 80s. So yes, I love those pins and I am selling those pins.

Yes. And they're all quite big. Yeah, I'd say they're... They're on the largest size. They're hefty. They're a hefty pin. Weighty. Weighty indeed.

And they all have some stupid special effect. Like one has a magnet that holds on an other face that you can pull off and put on and it goes in the dark. And the other one spins, which I think is quite chic. Given my name is Lazy Susan. Anyway, that's a good pin, but I don't know that I want that in the bunker. Oh no. I don't want to be like a cheap trinket.

You're a goddess. Exactly. I just think it's like kind of insulting. Yeah. If I put you in the bunker, saved you from oblivion and then you're like, I'm going to wear the woman that saved my life as a pin. No. Yeah.

Like build me a shrine. Build me a shrine. Yeah. What about like a remembrance day poppy? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Are that actually like, they don't even have a clothes.

The Remembrance Day and Zac One. Yeah. That just slots down. Yes. It's just like. It doesn't have a clasp. Yeah. You're not going to clasp me.

Yeah. It's very just like. Oh, it's just a straight pin down. Yeah. Straight pin down. I feel like that's very like, um, wedding, what are they called? Oh, like a little garnish. Yeah. Yeah. Straight pin down. I feel like that's very like, um, wedding, what are they called? Oh, like a little garnish. Yeah.

Yeah. A little parsley for the groom or whatever. Yeah. Um, yeah, those are always just like on a pin. Yeah. Yeah. Which I don't mind. I don't mind. Like, you know, it makes me think of when, um, like allegedly in North Korea, they

have in their uniforms, like men will put a pin in their stiff collar. So that like to keep their neck straight while they run. Wow. Like otherwise they get pricked. Yeah. There's like a threat of like a prick if you put your head down too far. Wow. So what if you like walked up to someone and like tap them in the throat? Yeah, I guess you don't do that to a soldier from North Korea.

Okay. Yeah. Good to know. Oh, sorry. Unless you want to. I don't like what you've said. Yeah. Um, other pins, other P I mean, I like, I mean, this is, this is why I made this as

much, but I love name tag pins. I think that's so chic. Yeah. Like something with your name on it. And particularly when it's engraved, like this is, I say this, but I actually sell this, but before I sold this, I think it's so cool because when they engraved your name in acrylic for a job, that's so cool. When I worked at H&M, our name badges were just like the badge and then like label maker

printed like your name on top, which was so shit. So rude. Invest in me. Tell me that you have too high a turnover. Yeah. Sorry, the enamel machine has not even powered up by the time you're going to leave. Yeah. Gross. That, like, believe in me.

I was there for five years. You get your own, mate. I'm getting my ingrate. Boo. I hate that. No. No, I also think pins on cards. What do you think?

Pins on cards? Like, oh, you want to pay for something over a hundred dollars? Time to go back to 1998. Cause you've got to put a set of numbers into your- A pin. A security pin. Yeah. Can I tell you?

You can tell me. That I- Is that what you think? I have my pin from like my very first like FBOSS card. What is it? I feel like I should say, but obviously I'm not doing that. But then I remember, oh no, I can't remember what it was for, but I like some completely separate entity,

I had to be sent a pin number, like physically sent it. What that before, it was like some like weird government official thing, like you're now like an organ donor, but here's your pin to confirm that's what you actually wanted to do or something like that. And that pin number was the same pin as the pin that I had from like, my account. It's completely different company and like the whole thing. That's really spooky. It's like those four digits.

It's like the whole thing. That's really spooky. It's like those four digits. That's your special number. It's like Hurley on Lost. He was getting followed by the numbers. What do you think about the smoke monster? I don't. Smoke monster. Yeah. Um, Courtney Love. Just like so like tub, like, tubular.

Too tubular? Yes. It needed to be more generalized smoke. I also just like, I was like, that's what you guys care about. Like when like the show was coming out, people were like, we want to work with the smoke monster. I'm like, guys, what about her late hair? What about the real questions?

How's Evangeline not getting sunburned? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Evangeline. Yeah. She's so beautiful. She, yes.

But some of her opinions? Not as beautiful. Well, she's been all that time trapped in an island. You've got to cut her a break. Oh, and then they put her in that elf ears. Anyway, um, pins, I, I like, I can't even begin to explain. This is actually laundry and fucking passwords and pins. Yeah.

Baby, I'm not doing that. Why? And also when they're like, do you want to have a more complicated password in order to get into this arbitrary like muffins.com? And I'm like, wait, my password isn't strong enough for muffins.com. It's fine. Yeah. It needs a two system verification. They're like 29QZ uppercase exclamation point. I'm like, honey, just steal the information. exclamation point. I'm like, honey, just steal the information. I just am like, I don't care.

Like, I can't believe that we're all walking around with just like arbitrary numbers and letters. Hard episode. Arbitrary numbers and letters just in our head. And we're expected to just remember them at the top of the hat. And then like not for 12 months, then you'll occasionally just get logged out and you'll have to remember. And good luck if you're not on your browser on your computer, because you're never going to remember. I also hate when, because this happened to me today, I had to change a password for one of my accounts or something.

And it was like, no, no, you can't use the password that you've used in the last like three times. Eat my fucking hole. If you remember that, why don't, why didn't I remember it two times ago? Yeah. Like that's obviously the one I want. That's the password I want. IshkaFairy9, yeah.

I'm actually so proud of my like 2.0 password, because I had the same password since I was 14. Um, and then I like did my adult password maybe like three years ago and it's been like a very soft transition. Don't say that. You can't use the same password across everything. No, I don't.

Oh, good. Yeah, whatever. And yeah, my adult password is so much more stupid than my 14 year old one, but I really like it. But like, can't we solve that? Like can't we just solve it so we never like the day that they, cause even my fucking phone like key chain or whatever. Oh well, yeah. But like every time I'm in drag, I get inconvenienced needs a pin. The key chain or whatever. Oh well, yeah.

But like- Every time I'm in drag, I get inconvenienced once a week. Yeah. I just don't do that anymore. The facial recognition thing isn't good enough. No. Especially not in drag. No, that's how annoying it is. Ugh.

But yeah, there's the promise. What about like DNA? Like you could just, you just spit on your phone. I would let Facebook sequence my entire genome. You know what? That is a great pin. What? The little like sci-fi like, press here.

Like Gadica. Taking a drop of blood from my finger. Yeah, the Gadica finger pin. Yeah. That's cool. That's a good pin. That is a good pin. So I'm just Googling pins.

Maybe it is the Gadica pin because it's simultaneously a pin and a pin. Yes. Double pin. I like that. I don't like like thumbtack. Like I don't like that kind of pin. Oh, you're talking about the iconic like thumb tack that you would see. Silver round circle with a wall there.

That's like the original base thumb tack. Yeah. This is the one that's got like a little nub. Yeah, it's got the nub. And it's kind of got these two layers and then like a thin waist. You know what? I'm just realizing when I was at makeup school and we did like wig styling and stuff, we use these pins that were called at the time, Geisha pins.

I don't know if that's... Politically correct. I don't know why they were called that, but it's like T pins, like that kind of thing. We'd use those to anchor the wigs onto the hair. Those little T pins get the hair caught in the fucking T. They do. They're like antithetical to what you need it for. Yep.

But you know what I love that, um... Pearl head pin? Yes. Yes. Long, thick. Long and thick. They're sturdy. Why can't we make safety pins out of pearl head pin metal?

And also, where do you buy them? Pearl head pin? Yeah. I can hook you up. I want like, I want so many that I'll never run out. Yeah. Because when I get my wigs from Esther, she'll have one pearl head pin and securing it like in the front. Yes!

And I just, and I, as I pull out that elongated pin, I feel like I'm about to poison my stepdaughter. I'm so obsessed with it. Shh. I do like that. Cinderella. Yeah. I hate, I know this is more of a needle than a pin, but like, you know when you like break a sewing needle?

Oh, that's so scary. Where are those shards gone? Yes. In the carpet. Yeah. And, well, back to pins, if we could for a moment. If we could just get back to pins. Um, when you are sewing and you're using a thousand pins because you're trying to do it right.

And then what if they end up on the floor and then you step on them? But if you've stepped on it, it's in you before you can reflex and pull away. Yeah. That is so scary. What if you step back down? And what if you have a high pile rug, which of course you do. Cause what are you going to stand on a hard floor? Please.

Sewing your gowns. Yeah. Um, I- So then it's filled with pins. Don't. Like I just am so, I've accumulated so many of those injuries now that they don't terrify me because I do that shit all the time. What about when, I've just found this pin.

What about when you go to like, there's like this Melbourne shop called like bronze snake. Do you know that? No. It's like kind of like relatively fine, like kind of like, like they would have a shop on Chapel Street, but they'd also have a shop on Johnson Street. And I think they do. Like she, she jewelry?

No, like kind of like street clothes that like, they're probably not good enough to get into like general pants, but they're not like bonds. Yeah. And you would go and like purchase like an, like a oversized t-shirt or something, or like some distressed denim shorts. And the swing tag would be attached by pin. Oh, those little like, um, pregnant pin. Yeah. With like a bulbous edge. Like it doesn't have the twist.

It's not like a circle loop. It's got like just a single piece of wire that's been like coming out into a ball at the end. Yes. And it's like... It's like a test tube. Yes. And it's meant to like add value in your mind of like, oh, the swing tag isn't put on with like a gun.

It's pinned on like a gun. It's pinned on to the gun. That is very chic. I'm tricked by that. Yeah. When you order something online and then it comes and the swing tag is pinned. Pinned.

Pinned. Eyebrow. That is so high. Eyebrow. Yeah, a pin like that is a sign of dignity, class and elegance. I don't think I could ever aspire to that. I used to wear a lot of pins, which I thoroughly enjoy. Like as like a cool fashion accessory? Yeah, like little like enamel pins and stuff.

I occasionally do sometimes still occasionally. Actually. Some of my favorites were, I got from the Ghibli Museum in Japan. Oh, I love those. They're so cool. But growing up, I had a green piece pin of an orca that had green piece on it. And I fucking- Nuked the whales. Loved that pin. You got a nuke something? And can I also say that that...

When I went to Melbourne Museum, when I was like maybe six, I got this little humpback whale toy and I left it in Safeway one night on a shelf, I remember, and I think about that all the time. What does that have to do with pins? Well, a whale and an orca both in the ocean. And that was on your pin as a child? No, it was just a fun little additional oceanic story. It's like that history podcast.

A pin. I do like a drawing pin or like a pin on the end of a spinning wheel that did prick the girl in the story of Rumpelstiltskin. Which I think is, oh my God, I know I've told you about, I always talk about Rumpelstiltskin, um, you're so known for that, but I think the thing I love about the tale of Rumpelstiltskin is it like, it's like if Cinderella was called evil stepmother, it's like, it's named after the antagonist. evil stepmother. It's like it's named after the antagonist. The girl is like a princess, I believe, or she's getting married to a king, or prince, I suppose, but like she's only

on the grounds that she can spin hay into gold. I don't even think she has a name. She's not like Sleeping Beauty. She's not like Cinderella. She's just woman that gets tricked by Rumpelstiltskin. Yeah. And that is like so, it gives me hope that I could one day lead my own franchise. Like if Rumpelstiltskin can get it, I could get it. Yeah. Lazy Stiltskin. But what do you think about people who are like, oh my God, you've come as...

As Rumpelstiltskin. No. Cause people say that to me every day. No, they say like, oh, you've come as Frankenstein to Halloween. And you're like, I'm Frankenstein's monster. We've talked about this. I know, but that doesn't make you mad? No.

It makes me mad. I hate people that correct it because it's so like public knowledge now. Like we've now... Not public enough. We've like, we've now broken through that you could just say I'm a Frankenstein and say it ironically, and no one would clock it except for some loser who's like, Frankenstein, I don't think you've read Mary Shelley's classic. Who invited you to this party?

I'm Frankenstein. Mr. Baxter. I'm Ravel Stiltskins. Woman. Like thread. D'err? Um, yeah. What about legs?

Pins. Oh, legs 11, Rhonda Burchmore pins. Pins. What do you want to have legs in the bunker? Yeah, just like a pair of legs. Long legs to go in Nicole Kidman's clapping hands. Yeah. Some gams.

Some, oh, gams. What about, yeah, just four asterixes for the pin. Oh, yeah, no. I think the Gattaca blood drip is probably the closest that we got. I really like that. What does it open? What does it open in the... Because I was thinking about this when you said it. It's like how they get into work. You know, those like, those doors you go through.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Have you seen Gadica? Maybe it's how you open the Murphy bed. Oh, I'm sorry. I understand your question. I thought you were asking in the context of the film. I just wanted you to know that Ethan Hawke sometimes struggled to get to work because he had dirty blood. Ethan Hawke in that movie is so hot. How about Jude Law? Yeah.

Also hot. Although Jude Law has such a round face. What's wrong with that? No, but I just like, he's handsome, but... What do you think of Lazy's face? Wait, excuse me, Matt. What did you just say? I'm just wondering what you think of Lazy's face. What do you think, Zoto? I think Lazy's more handsome than Jude Law.

Oh my God. I just don't think Jude Law is that hot. That is an indictment on Jude Law and the nicest thing that's ever been said to me. I just, I just don't get the hype. I don't know. Did you watch the talented Mr. Ripley with me? Yes, I did.

He's hot in that. He is hot in that, but then he also is like a tease. Yeah. I don't like that. Maybe. No, I think that that other one should have just waited a bit longer. He was being sent home from Italy. He just got to wait.

He'll come back. He waited 10 years. Yes. Yeah. You think he would have got him? Yes. Oh my God. Your version of the talented Mr.

Ripley is like, no murder, but he just waits. Passive aggressively. Finally the white male comes but he just waits. Yeah. Passive aggressively. And then it's one night where... Finally the white male comes home to roost. Yes. Oh, Gwyneth Paltrow died 15 years ago. Perhaps she would like to come over and watch some movie. Listen to some jazz on the couch.

Oh my God. I'm going to do the remake. Tell it right. The slightly less talented Mr. Ripley. The patient Mr. Ripley. The patient Mr. Ripley. Okay, good. Yeah, the Gattaca doors.

I was asking what they do in the bunk. I think it's to get into the abyss room, like the big open hall. I reckon it's got get into the abyss room, like the big open hall. Oh. I reckon it's got to be like central. This is, I mean, every hall off, you'd have to... Yep. Wow. You're losing a lot of blood.

Just to move around. Yeah. Every corridor that comes off that central room. I'll wait until tomorrow to go into the other room because my cum is not rejuvenated. True. Because cum is the fluid in the bucket. Oh my God, those little pricks can be covered in cum. Those little pricks can be covered in cum.

Yeah. That's perfect. This image is not good. I think I'd like to, maybe it should be like, you know, that, no, this is a disgusting thing This image is not good. Maybe it should be like, you know, that, no, this is a disgusting thing to say. And I don't want to lower the tone of the part. Come on. Come on. But you know, like the shitty, you know, we talked about that, like disgusting

pornos from Australia where it's like the straight guy puts his dick in the like black box and then inside is that weird golem. Is he inside of each of the like finger brick checkers? Laughing up the delicious drops of gum. And be like, go through. Ew. I wish he didn't say that. We'll be right back.

Welcome back, everyone. Hello. Every listener in the land. Hello. Matt. Yeah. Won't you tell us our final topic for the today? Are we doing the one I suggested?

Yeah. If it's the one that we're all thinking of. This week I, um, I had a thought of what we could put in the bunker. It's Matt's choice. I know. I haven't actually thought of any topics to choose yet, but this week I was just driving. And then I saw this, um, business on the side of a car business name and it was called, it was like a tile company.

It was called 50 shades of grout. And I thought it was so funny for some reason. Was this after you had such strong ruminations about, wow, history's great? Yeah, I was listening to my history podcasts and I was like, wow, imagine life back then. And then I just saw 50 Shades of Crout. It just really got me for some reason. Ah, your tears. I know it's hilarious, but please.

I'm gonna have a heart event because of you. So I was thinking maybe we could do, uh, which company, which business? Yeah. Which business? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Spirit Halloween. Okay, so which, which company, which business, which enterprise? Well, that's my one. Spirit Halloween. Okay. So which, which company, which business, which enterprise?

Well, that's my one. 50 Shades of Ground. 50 Shades of Ground. It's still getting you now. Um, are you surprised by how many options there are? 50? I think it was more just how, like, they were trying to make it erotic or something. It was a strange thing to.

Yeah. BDSM grout. Mr. Grout, we'll see you now. Yeah. Well, um, okay. So the big companies I know Apple. Oh yeah.

They don't even sell apples. Crazy. But they do go, when you turn them on. I love that the new computers still make that sound. Yeah. But they often don't make it. Yeah. Is that from that? What? Is that a reference? You know, it was so rude today at the mukbang that I had with Brenda was that she was, like we were going through the snatch game and I have to say I've watched Kath and Kim, but I have not watched Kath and Kim like a lot of the homosexuals in this country have

watched Kath and Kim. Like I have not watched Kath and Kim like a lot of the homosexuals in this country have watched Kath and Kim. Like religiously? Yeah, like where they can quote it back to front, like forever. And I, it sounded really shady. I was like, Brenda, I didn't realize that some of the things you were saying were just straight direct quotes from the show. And I was like, this is incredible. She's writing this. Oh my God. And then I forced her while we were watching the show. I was like, this is incredible. She's writing this? Oh my God. And then I forced her while we were watching the show. I was like, was that a reference in the show? Was that a reference in the show? And she, I mean, like, obviously she,

some of the best lines were hers. I would say most of the best lines were hers, but there was some stuff where I was like, this sounds so shady, me being like, so that was a reference too. Okay, interesting. That funny one? Oh, that was a reference too. Okay. Interesting. That funny one? Oh, that was from the show.

But she, no. That was Jane. She's so funny. But yes. Um, I did, it was, I was like, I really did think, I was like, oh my God, I can't believe she wrote all of this. So you've been heckling two queens today. Queens?

Brenda and who? Matt? Have you started doing drag? You're a trans woman. Living your true life. Yeah. With me and all good teeth. Good eat. Okay. Companies. What about, what's the company in Alien? What is it? What's the company of Alien? Um, what is it? Wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake,

wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake,

wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake, wake Chaser pod, our new favorite pod. And Alaska Thunderfuck is wearing my t-shirt. Oh my God. On the show. What? That is incredible. Oh my God. And she looks so comfortable in it too. She does.

Incredible. I love to see it. Yes. Wait, so they sent you that photo? No, they didn't. No. As someone who was watching it in their home. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's hot. That's so good. Oh, maybe they'll talk about it. Talk about the t-shirt. Yeah. Talk to me in French. Talk to me in Spanish. Talk to me in your own made up language.

Doesn't matter if I understand it. Talk right in my ear. Tell me your secrets and fears. If you talk to me, I'll talk to you and say that we should go back to my ear. Tell me your secrets and fears. If you talk to me, I'll talk to you and say that we should go back to my place. Wait, was that in that? Well, wait, that was the thing that you had to learn. No. Why do you know the lyrics to that?

Because I like that song. Have you listened to the whole album yet? No. Pitches of Pompeii in the distance. I love the one where she's talking about. Talk to me in French. Charlie, I guess you're a brat now. What?

You want to talk? There's a demon at the door who wants to compliment me on my Charlie impersonation? They want to talk to you in French. Yeah. If you want to talk to me in Spanish. Talk to me in your own native language. Okay. Anyway, so my favorite company.

Yeah. Um, I love, I mean, I love, I love big companies. Like the one that Miss Atron works for in the secret world of Alex Mack. That was probably my first exposure to a company. Ooh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Companies are big buildings, gray, glass.

Companies have small amounts of landscaping in front of them. A hedge. Always immaculate. A small rounded hedge. Yes. And Miss Atron, she's looking out the window, but there's blinds. You can't see her. She can see you. There's glass bricks in a tower.

Venetian blinds? Well, they're plastic. They're white. The company is of the future. Yeah. The company from Minority Report, Future Crime. Future Crime. I was watching Minority Report the other day. You're in a bit of a Tom Cruise bit.

I watched The Firm as well with Tom Cruise, which is so good. Everyone should watch The Firm. I don't like Tom Cruise. I haven't even seen the Kubrick film with Tom Cruise. I watched it. Yeah. Um, you should get into Tom Cruise. He's compelling.

He's got a lot of energy. He does. But in the firm. Oh. I like Oprah electrocuting him on the couch. Yeah. That's good. Yeah. Is that what happened?

That is what happened. Do you know what I'm talking about? What? Where he jumped on the couch? Yeah. But there's like some stupid person edited it and she's like Sith style electrocuting him. And they're like... stupid person edited it and she's like Sith style. I find that, yeah. Is that a company?

Yeah. Tom Cruise getting electrocuted by Oprah. A company. Is Sith, oh no Sith is more of a religion than a company, I suppose. Yeah. I also- The Empire, however. Hate it. Oh.

Hate the Empire. I hate what they're doing to space. Yeah. Make space great again. She says the empire or the Sith. I don't know. I can't really, I can't really land the plane on this reference. I don't know.

Jabba the huts fucking things up. Yeah. Why wasn't Jabba the Hutt the baddie? He was. But like, he's a crime lord. Yeah. He seemed a bit small scale relative to that other one. Yeah.

Well, he's a... Darth Maul. I mean, there's like ruling the galaxy and then there's like petty crime on Tatooine. He seems petty crime. Doing spice deals with the... But he's more compelling and interesting than... You wanted the movie to be named Jabba the Hutt. Well, the film was not called...

Yes! Where's Rumpelstiltskin in space? Jabba the Hutt. Yeah. Jabba the Hutt kind of is the Rumpelstiltskin of Star Wars. I also just think like... Salacious B. Crumb is the threader. Michael B. Jordan.

Is that what Michael B. Jordan said? No, that's my Salacious B. Crumb impersonation. You're doing a lot of impressions. I can't tell the difference between that and your Charlie XCX. And they look so similar as well. Oh no. I feel like, wait, in Troy Savan and Charlie XCX, who's the Jabba and who's the Salacious? Oh my God. Troy is the Salacious. Yes. And that makes Charlie the giant.

Jabba. Jabba. Yeah. Wait, is Jabba the species name? No, they're huts. And they speak Huttese. No, they're huts. And they speak hut knees. They don't. Yes, they do. George Lucas.

What about LucasArts? That's a good company. LucasArts. That is good. What about Weta Workshop? I love Weta. Weta. Why would you call it Weta?

Knowing that everyone except for New Zealanders is going to be like, Weta, Weta. Nothing's better than wetter. Jesus Christ. Have you seen the wetters though? Like the bug species of the name, the species of my big wet knees. Yeah, they do. Yeah. Charlie loves it. Talk to me. Yeah. They do. Yeah. And Charlie loves it. Talk to me, your friend.

Your own made up language. The Huttonese. Yeah. You could do a parody version where you play Charlie the Hut. Yeah. And then you do the lyrics to it different, but like about Star Wars. Has anyone ever done a parody song where they just change all the things? Oh. To be about Star Wars. I'm so loved. Has anyone ever done a parody song where they just change all the things?

I like pizza the hut. Oh no, not this again. It's a gross. But in some of the clone wars, there was this like sassy little like little faggot who spoke like, um, like, oh my God, what is the Star Wars English? It's like intergalactic basic or something. Oh, I hate that. I'm like, why aren't you speaking Huttanese?

So wait, we're watching, is all Star Wars watching the dub? Yeah, pretty much. I would like to watch it in the original galactic tongue. I actually watched it all, subtitled. Mm-hmm. The Witch Company? Yeah. Yeah.

50 Shades of Grout. Yeah. I mean, I'm tantalised. Well, we're gonna need a lot of tiles in the bunker, surely. What is the flooring again? Concrete? No, we did a flooring. Yeah, and it's like dirty. Dirty concrete. Oh, we did like some wood flooring again? Concrete? No, we did a flooring.

Yeah, and it's like dirty. Dirty concrete. Oh, we did like some wood flake, I remember. I need to update the spreadsheet everyone. It's impossible for us to know. It's impossible for anyone to know. We had a recording. Uh, what about Michelin?

What's that? I'm the giant man that sells tires. I love that company. I also love Mr. Rub-and-Buff. You just like the man. Yeah. Okay. What about stock industries?

No, I don't want to do that. Oh, what about the company from- Ingen! Sorry? From Jurassic Park! What? The company that financed the... Discoveries.

But they also fuck everything up, so maybe not them. Maybe Vandelay Industries. Vandelay Industries! That's a good one. That's good, bitch. Classic. That is so good. Bitch, let me tell you.

When you said Vandelay Industries, I almost fell out, honey. Girl, you slayed okay, but you actually are an icon. Vandelay. What about Skynet? Yeah, that's fine too. I like that. What about like, um, no, I've lost it. Sorry.

I like the, what about the company from, um, severance that TV show? I also like that. What is that company called? Yeah. Zelda, you need to watch severance. It's so good. It's called Lumen. Lumen.

And, and they pretty much, they like you get your brain cut in half. Any way you cut Matt stop. It's like the whole premise. Um, what about the company in Portals? brain cut in half. Anywhere you cut Matt, stop. It's like the whole premise. I've already forgotten. Um, what about the company in Portals? Pizza Hut. You know what?

I love that Pizza Hut shop design. I think we've talked about this before, but that pointed roof. That hut. The hut. It all comes back to the hut. Oh my God. Pizza Hut. And then they will speak Huttanese at work.

Do you know Huttanese? That's why your name tag is engraved. It's just a label maker sticker. Cause you're not committed, Chelsea. Chelsea Bumfuck. I'd love to hear Courtney take a break in Huttanese. I think, I think it begins today. Talk to me in Spanish, talk to me in English, talk to me in...

Okay. Okay. Do you know what I think it is, company wise? Yeah. I think it is just like, um, company. Like the Steven Sondheim show. The company. Here we go. just like, um, company, like the Steven Sondheim show. The company.

Here we go. I was talking to Brenda today as I discussed. Yeah. Your best friend. My best friend, Brenda. Um, people cherish our relationship online. Oh my God. Uh, but she, I was talking about how much I hate Julie and Julia, the film, because I was like, I don't like Amy Adams and I hate her whole storyline in that film. And I also hate that like, we just got all these Meryl Streep films where she's just kind of like

really good in bad films like Devil Wears Prada and Stanley Tucci's in that as well. And then I was like, I'm sorry, I'm just talking about things I hate. I also loved Cape Fear, which I watched the other day. And then I started talking about Cape Fear and she like looked at me and she's like, I feel like I'm listening to the podcast. You're talking about something I don't know. And I don't care. So in this occasion, Brenda, I'm not going to talk about Company by Steven Sondheim. Sad. I guess we'll leave it there. Brenda, I'm not going to talk about company by Steven Sondheim. Hmm.

Huh. Sad. I guess we'll leave it there. I was earlier trying to think of like a funny, like company, like the company of. You can always depend on the kindness of strangers. Like dance company kind of thing. Like, yeah, but I don't really know any, so I can't, I can't get there. So what you're saying to the listener who's listening now, assuming that they

have nothing else going on in their life, is that you were going to do something, think of something funny to say and then say it and you haven't gone through on a single one of those promises. You weren't so company, don't you? it and you haven't gone through on a single one of those promises. You think it imagine what it would have been like. Yeah. It is there, if you could imagine that I just had a really funny reference to some obscure company and then you go, ah, what are you doing? Red, right and tile. Is that the one we're going to end up doing?

You work for a company, don't you? Zelda? I say we live in a society. Not that company. Wait, but, Zelda? I do. We live in a society. Not that company. Wait, but now I've got this. Zelda, what was that? What the heck was that? It was meant to be the original version of Hutt Knees, but no, that's not what I wanted at all.

Just imagine that Zelda played the original version. Oh my God, I kind of would play a YouTube video correctly. Well, um, Zelda. This is how we need a soundboard. Let me find that T-Rex with a broken leg. So what company? Zelda? Yeah?

We need to leave this place. Okay. The company is Charlie the Hutt. Yes. Selling things at... The Pizza Hut. At Vandelay Industries. Oh, Vandelay Industries.

On a Pizza Hut, is it time for another food distributor? No, I think, I think Van de Lee industry is funny. Van de Lee industry is very funny. Because everyone doesn't have any work in the bunker and they can just say, I work at Van de Lee industries, but they actually don't know what they're doing. And then people will say, what do you do? And you say, I'm an, I export and import whatever. Yeah, that sounds good.

Yeah. Okay. Van deity industries. Yeah. But can we also put in Charlie XCX as a heart? Yes. Yeah. She's the CEO of VanityLate Industries. Yes. Yeah. Ooh.

And it's just a heart with her face. Talk to me in French. Talk to me in English. Talk to me in Spanish. Talk to me in your own made up language. Doesn't matter. You're going to love that whole album once you reinvest. It's good.

Yeah, okay. It's fun. I think now that the hype has died, you're going to enjoy it. I do like that Von Dutch. You're serving that life, Von Dutch. And what about I'm so Julia? Yeah, Julia. Because I love Julia Fox.

And she was in Times Square the other day dancing and she was like, it's about me! She's dancing to that song? Because she was doing like that Billboard concert. Ah. Where she like Charlie XCX is inside the Billboard. Can I say? I watched quite a few episodes of season one of Broad City this week. You liked it?

I did. It's funny. It's funny. Thanks so much for listening, Trubun. Thank you. To summarize, this week we've put in... a pin. Which pin did we do? The Gattaca gate.

Oh, the Gattaca bin pin. With the cum guzzling golem inside. No, I don't want the golem. No, Tyler can just do that. Tyler, take your break and go guzzle cum in the gate. If you're not getting it in the bait bus, get it from the little Gattaca pin. Also just like knowing that he'd be like... It's such a drop.

It's just a single drop. Yuck. They're like, wow, it's really got this incredible like high, high sci-fi sound. Like blum. But it's just him going blum. Then the podcast goes next door. Girls Next Level with Bridgid and Polly. June's Journey ad. And then the favorite company is Vandale Industries and the CEO of that company is Charlie the Hutt.

Yeah. Okay. And she speaks Huttanese. Yes. Sorry about the lack of the tile place. That's all right. I don't need it. It was just a funny moment. I'm still laughing.

And it really just prompted me to think of a topic for once. Hey listen, and anytime you think of something again. Can I bring it to you guys? Good to everyone was recorded at Natural Haventad Studios by Mad Cheers. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Cendrick and Edie Cendrick and Angela Lilley. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepod.gmail.com. And would you support us please at patreon. such that you're everyone. Bye bye. So thank you all.

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