Death To Everyone - Death To... Road Signs, Stationery & Star Wars

Episode Date: March 5, 2024

This week on the Pod we're doing some important work - which road sign goes into the bunker? Which piece of stationery?? And from one celestial void to another - which Star War shall be immortalised in the bunker this week? Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Especially you. Especially you, sister. Especially you. Thank you so much all for attending the Especially You launch night. For those of you who received your gift bag, we're so excited for you to enjoy our new autumn line. What flavors did we have for the lip uh scrubs so um there's vanilla cream that's really nice yeah yeah also got non-dairy

creamer we have sunset um which is kind of like a citrusy, vanilla-y scent. And there was also ocean glass. Ocean glass. Oh, and that's a really nice piece. It's got the metallic label. That's right. It's kind of got an opalescence. It's from the premium line, which is especially you,

but it's spelt with a U. Especially you, home it's spelt with a U. Especially you, home. What's up? Oh, yeah. Welcome to Death to Everyone. My name is Lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And this is a show where two drag queens, who are the celestial goddesses,

sent here by a rift in time and space to aid humanity in surviving the imminent apocalypse. And if you don't like it, then go and listen to something else. Yeah, who are you? Who the fuck are you? What are you doing? What have you ever done for us, Chelsea? AIDS.

And this week, we're so excited. Obviously, yes, we did have an exciting launch of our lifestyle brands autumn collection. But we also just had a good week. Are you upset about it? Are you mad? Okay, so I don't know if you know this, but I have the Samsung Freestyle projector. Oh, my God. I love it to death.

It's this tiny little projector. Oh, my God. I love it to death. It's this tiny little projector. So if you don't have a TV in your home, you can just pop it out anytime you want to watch something, turn it on, and point it at any surface. It'll automatically turn and focus most of the time onto that wall. And then, bam, you're watching TV. But here's what I didn't know, because I'm not a Samsung girl, because I'm not a sociopath,

is that Samsung has their own simulation of 1998 cable. What? Like, not actually that. That made it sound cooler than it is. But, like, you can go to the samsung live tv setting and they're just playing tv like made up tv channels they have one called like 1001 and it's like always playing bear grillers and then they have one that's just always playing the nanny and they have one that's just always playing throwback tv so it like goes Dawson's Creek and then Medium.

Oh, my God. But like two episodes of each. So you have that classic like TV inertia feel where you're like, I just watch this. And then Medium comes on and you're like, I'll watch an episode of Medium as well. And I was like, oh, I fucking miss just turning the TV on. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

And they have one ad break per show, which is so good. And the ads are ridiculous because no one's paying to be on an imaginary TV. But it's so good. So I just turned on The Nanny the other day. Yeah. And I was like, I don't get, I don't have to, like, you know when you like have to, even if you want to watch mindless TV, you then have to pick which episode of your mindless TV. You have to choose.

It's like, oh, I'll start at the most important episode of the season. Whatever. Yeah. This was just like, throw me into a random episode of The Nanny and I'll see what happens. And then the most magical thing happened a few days later where I was like, I want that experience again. They were playing the same episode of The Nanny.

And I was like, oh, I love this. You just turn it on and you're like're like oh i just saw this a few days ago but now it's here as a rerun again i'll watch it again oh that's good it was so one of the other like channels that like plays mythbusters one of the you know they just have like random shit like old episodes of conan the late night chat show. And you're like, well, I want to see what was happening in 2009, which celebrities are going on press tours. The Barbarian?

No. I mean, that's, and all of that in the humble little projector. You can actually get it with any Samsung product. Oh, I see. Not that anyone would know that uh well i'm very happy for you dear sister it's very good i'm so good you can you can you can come and watch it with me what did it what an offer don't pretend like you're above that experience. I love not making decisions, so that just sounds great. It's fucking great.

It's so good. I miss it so much. I miss that. I just miss it. But you also, you can't get it if you want it. If you watch regular TV now, you will kill yourself before getting through anything. And that's it.

It's like the whole landscape is just so different. You can't even you'll like be accosted by 10 000 commercials that will remind you of how terrible the toyota alantra is or whatever they're talking about and then you just see ads for all the other shows coming up can i don't um okay i don't really understand the Holden, right? Oh no, like Commodore. Commodore is a type of Holden. How can there be so many Commodores? Like every year it's the same car, but like new version. I don't understand that.

They just made a new one. But it's not the Commodore anymore. That's the something else, isn't it? Well, it's like how... But it's like Commodore 95. Commodore 96. Like Firefly is a Serenity class ship in Firefly. Yeah.

So it would be like the Commodore 1998. Yeah, okay. No, I get it now. Okay. But my sister's car recently broke down. She No, I get it now. Okay. But my sister's car recently broke down. She had the most beat it up, my mom's old Suzuki Swift. And this car just went.

But there was a massive hailstorm years ago, maybe 12 years ago, that damaged every car in Melbourne. Yes. And all the panels on every car that was outside that day were forever pockmarked yeah by these golf ball size um hailstones so my mom who's currently leased leasing that car it was a write-off so she was able to buy it really cheap and then she gave it to my sister when she got a new car and so this this car when she took it into the dealership after it finally died they were like a gog that this car existed they're like how have you been driving this ma'am like it's so old this you shouldn't be driving this like this, this is crazy. I haven't seen one of these in a thousand years.

And she was just like, she's so like, she would rather get that car fixed a thousand times than ever have to contemplate dealing with the idea of doing a new car, which is, we are the same. Because I'm like, I just, there's too much. That's just too much work. Just fix this car. I'll spend more money on this car than anything else just to not have to go

through the awful experience of buying a car. She goes in to buy a new car. She's been dreading it for so long. She takes my dad along and then the guy's like, what do you want? What do you want? And she's like, I would like the exact same car again, but just the new one. Yeah. And he's like, well, what do you mean? What do you want? And she's like, I would like the exact same car again, but just the new one. And he's like, what do you mean? What do you mean?

And she's like, I just want a Suzuki Swift this year. And he's like, okay, we have one of those. Great. And he's like, no, I'll show you a few other. No, no. I don't want to see anything else. I know this car. He's like, well, this one has all the new things.

I don't want the new things. I know this car. If you put me in another car, I will die. I won't be able to find the handle to get out of this car. This is my car. I know this car. And so she got that car. And she has the exact same car, just in blue now. And it's incredible. And she was the exact same car, just in blue now. And it's incredible. And she was like, if that conversation with that car dealer had gone even a second longer,

I would have run screaming into the night. She would have given her life savings, paid double if the conversation could end sooner she was like make this stop i well yeah that makes perfect sense to me yeah whereas when my husband went to buy his new car he walks into this car dealer and the guy's like okay so what are you looking for and he's like i want to see the options goes through and he's like i want to learn about how you buy a car for the first time so he's going through it and this guy's a complete sleazebag the dealer yeah of course and then he finally lands in the car and the guy's like okay you can take out a loan with us here's the like interest on the loan that we're offering if you want to get a thing you won't find better

he's like okay well give me the offer write it like write it down in an email i'm going to go and shop around the guy starts putting the heat on he's like blah blah no you've got to do this with us you won't find it cheaper goes and finds it cheaper comes back to the guy and he's like okay here's the contract to buy the car he's like okay well i'll take this i'm gonna go now i'm gonna read this entire hundred page contract or something ridiculous and came back with amendments to the stock standard contract this guy is like what the fuck no one ever amends this contract and he's like well you see here on page 37 i'm not doing that page 42 not doing that this one we need to change because as per

what you said it's like oh i don't need to update that in the contract like we can just do it it's like no no let's get this all redone send it to your legal team bring it back to me then we'll do it it was like this full process what and i was like that is the sexiest story. I'm never doing that. But a man that would do that and just destroy. And by the end, that sleazy car salesman was like, there's never been a bigger pain in the ass than you. And he's like, thank you. And he's like, I just thought it was going to be so easy. And he's like, well, you know, think again.

Wore him down. Wow. That's amazing. him down. Wow. That's amazing. So good. Wow. When you have a pop-up on your phone of like, this is the new iPhone update, better sign, do you agree? And you just skim past it all.

Yeah. Imagine actually reading that. Yeah, well, that's it. And he would. Wow. I don't suppose you can amend that and send it off to Apple. Yeah, I don't think Apple's interested in that. That's the thing that always wigs me out.

I'm like, you can buy this, but it's like, if you don't agree to their terms of service, you don't get it. That's it. It's a brick. It has no value to you unless you play by their rules. I don't feel like you own an iPhone. It just lives with you for a while. Listening.

Like you, listener. Oh, yeah. Shit, there's someone here. Hi. And how are you, Zelda Moon? I'm good. Good. What have I been doing?

How are the rats in your wall? They're possums in my wall. Just because you put weird makeup on them every night to make them look like possums. I do think I should probably do something about that. Because it's sometimes very loud and it's very close to my head. It just, it's quite haunting. But it is, I am less afraid of death. That's good.

So that's good. So you're closer to death than you ever have been before. I'd say so. But in good news, I've been eating a lot of tomatoes from my garden, which is really cute. And you brought in a gorgeous little dish of them into the studio for us to enjoy today. No, I didn't, you whore.

That would be actually quite – Matt, would you have liked a little like fresh tomato from the vine? I don't like tomatoes. Oh, my God. They're the worst vegetable fruit. There was one in my salad today And I was like What's bringing this whole thing down

This delicious salad And then I looked And I was like Oh it's tomato If there was ever going to be like Like an egg Laid by an alien Like on earth

That's what a tomato would be That's a very good description Yeah The little seeds The juice Yeah it's too many things all in one. It doesn't know what it's doing. Okay.

So I like, I like tomatoes. I think that there's like majority of tomatoes that are like a good tomato is great and a bad tomato or like even just a regular tomato is kind of uninteresting. Like, and so often overutilized. See. Well, next time but one warmed by the sun and plucked from the vine i'm sure would be nice but you gobbled them all up yourself oh my god i'll bring you some tomatoes imagine if you come in with tomatoes and matt had to eat one we're like oh thank you i grew these with my own sweat and blood um they are all cherry tomatoes

and they were self-sown at my brother's farm And then I took some of the little Leeches from the earth And planted them in my patch And now they're fruited and they're really gorge So that's been really nice Fruits of my labour So that's been good

I need to kind of like replant for the new season However we're reaching the end of summer You've got to sow your seeds Yeah Sow your wild oats Okay But yeah good We do have an exciting gig coming up

Are we allowed to talk about it? Yeah well Oh shit The posters are out Are we like a secret part of the line up? I don't know I don't know I don't know But it's in a few weeks

A gig That we're doing Lazy is just looking up If we can I think we can Yeah we're doing The Bowery Bullet And Juvie

Yeah It's gonna be hot Which is so fabulous Shout out to Ruby Slippers For being so kind as to include us. And then Miss Art Seaman will be there. That's correct.

Yeah, the whole gang. So we've kind of been prepping for that. Yeah. Fuck, it's so exciting. I'm so excited to be back at the NGV. Back where we belong. Works of Art with China Chao. And Miles. Miles with China Chao. And Miles.

Miles with that perfect ass. Wait, wait, do you mean Miles as in from Work of Art? Or Miles, our friend who works at the NGP? We'll both have perfect asses. This is true. I meant Miles from Work of Art. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Season one, anyway.

Stop sexually harassing our new boss. God, what a show. Yeah. Yeah. Watch Work of Art on YouTube. Anyway. Lazy. Oh, it's my apocalypse.

Well, it's not that sound. It goes like this. Have you ever heard of Rabda? No. Let me tell you, Zelda sound. It goes like this. Have you ever heard of Rabda? No. Let me tell you, Zellamoon. I had an ex. The one who had the Seinfeld box set. Oh, yes.

For those listeners who were on that episode. The Seinfeld box set lover. And then he, after we broke up, started working out really hardcore. Don't know if it's related, but whatever. Then apparently he was doing pull-ups and things, like I think like going on a full journey, fitness journey, and was like to a level that absolutely fucked him up. And he developed a thing thing called rabdo which is where your muscles

instead of tearing and then rejoining stronger yes start to turn into liquid and you're like if you touched your bicep it would be like liquidy under there what yeah so your muscles are being broken down by your own body. Oh. Yeah. And it can happen if you just over-exert yourself, which is why I don't. It's just to be safe. Yeah.

Darling, it's terrifying out there. Oh, my God. Anyway, so my apocalypse is everyone starts a fitness journey. It's Jillian Michaels' fault. It's a state-mand a fitness journey it's dillian michaels's fault it's a state state mandated uh fitness journey um you know and then everyone gets rhabdo and then everyone gets liquefied and it's like extreme rhabdo so everyone's walking around with liquefied muscles to the extent that no one can drive themselves to the hospital. And guess that paramedic? He can't drive you either. He's got Rhabdo. Everybody's got Rhabdo. Rhabdo. Yeah. You want a latte

in the morning? Well, you're going to have to lift your arm with those muscles that you don't have anymore, Rhabdo. I'm haunted. Yeah. Wow. So you want to eat. Raise the fluids to your mouth so you can live another day well darling you can't because your tongue has rhabdo a little liquid gooey sack inside your mouth unable to move does the liquid need to drain yes it does but who's going to drain it? Everybody got rhabdo. Animals got rhabdo too. Yeah, of course. Shit.

Rhabdo. Rhabdo. That's all. And then everyone dies. Well, yeah. Of like, you know, whatever. Malnutrition. I guess.

Yeah. Some people would have been in the sun. They'd probably get quite hot. Yeah. Yeah. And the liquid would boil in the sun. They'd probably get quite hot. Yeah. Yeah. And the liquid would boil inside them. Raptor. Raptor.

Wow. Yeah. Okay. And that's it. Well, with that haunting vision, we'll be right back. Goodbye. To everyone To everyone Oh, look at you, look at you, look at you Gorgeous

Now, our first topic for discussion this week, dear Lister, dear sister, and dear Matt, is, you know, it's quite an important one. And I'm glad that we're doing it. It is which road sign are we putting into the bunker? I'm so glad you asked Well, we do have a jeep in the bunker Yeah And it will drive from side to side

We've got a lot of Volantuses Volantis I mean, they'll be more looking We need probably like an airport tower to help them navigate Well, they don't get that high True But road signs Okay, road sign not necessarily what do we need but you know this is about what's the best road sign out there and what yeah i imagine like

in the large hallways of the bunker you could have a few road signs reggie's would have a road sign over the bar it would that would be funny that would be quite funny yeah something like give way oh yeah give way. Yeah, give way. Or like, exit. Is that good? Within a fire exit. Okay. So my first pitch, I think if I had to think of like,

what's the like cuntiest word sign. Yeah. Like who's the sleigh to your boots mother child. It's the mother child. What? You know the mother child? Oh, yeah. Mother child.

Yeah. Yellow sign. She's not like other girls. And she's got like a cute little border. And then it's mother like other girls. And she's got like a cute little border. And then it's mother, child, honey. Mother, child. The girl, get it. Look at her.

Single, independent woman walks across street forever, like commemorated by yellow sign mother, child. Okay. ever commemorated by a yellow sign, mother child. Okay, so Lazy was like, I want to do road signs. And now I see why. She had a bit. A bit to say about mother child. My thought for the road sign would be a sign with a picture of a magpie on it. Where is that sign? We know how there'll be one with an echidna or one with a picture of a magpie on it where's that sign we know how there'll be

like one with an echidna or one with a kangaroo presumed things that cross roads yes where's the magpie well we have magpies in the bunker i just want to make sure they're safe rewind there's one at the end of my street and it's like it's like warning swooping magpies Is that handwritten in blood? That's right, the last person who passed that area Oh, ye, my parish No, so many people complained about this one magpie that was swooping them That the council put up a sign, like an information thing about like Magpies make nests in spring

And you've got to watch out, they will swoop you I love that So good That's good make nests in spring and you've got to watch out. They will sweep you and all this stuff. I love that. Oh, so good. That's good. I saw a magpie sweeping a dog the other day and I was like, get her. I was like, that dog. That dog did look at you funny.

I saw it. Kind of get to your babies. I just, yeah. Yeah. I like that. Okay. That's good. What else is Yeah. I like that. Okay. That's good. What else is good?

I like Stop. Yeah, Stop is good. It's a great shape. Yes. It's obviously like Spice Girls wrote about that sign. They did indeed. Like that sign, I think it's 10%. Every time that song's played.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Or maybe it's a loophole They like really group it together And it's only the stop right now signs Thank you very much Thank you very much If they said that I'd be like

Maybe passive aggressive road signs Stop right now thank you very much Give way if you could Maybe That is kind of like amber light Give way if you could Maybe That is kind of like Amberlight Stop if you can Yeah

Can you? Is it too soon? You can finish up if you really need to If you really If you actually have to You can go But like You know

You're playing on my last nerve Because there's people trying to turn right I don't want you to do anything unsafe If you've already committed You've got to just go through it. Go. Like you do you. But maybe you shouldn't be driving so fast. Maybe.

But like stop. You're done. She's over. That's it. You've pushed my patience. I gave you the amber. You pushed me. It do be like that.

There's also the, like, what do you think of green men, red men? Like the traffic. Like, you're a pedestrian. I've got to, like, I'm taking it to a place that you know. Oh, thank you, sister. So kind. I love the international language of road signs like it is kind of amazing that there is a unifying factor there almost universally yeah um

but the the tone and the image of the crossing is different and that is beautiful flavor yeah and that's a reason to travel the world um yeah yeah so i'm quite fond well that's it although like i don't know what about like i this is why something a bit more neutral is kind of nice for these kind of things because you're like sometimes like japan kind of has it because it's like well this this one's a walking Pikachu and this one's a standing still Pikachu. Does that happen? Well, I don't know. I've got like trains that are Pokemon. I don't know. You just make it up signs all over the place.

Yeah, but you know, like I don't need a man with like a fedora to tell me when to walk. Yeah. Well, it's like, well, you remember when Dan Andrews went crazy with feminism and allowed a dress on the pedestrian signs around Flinders Street. Oh, my God. And everyone was like, women, you don't matter. I don't walk anywhere.

On their own. It's like mother-child. She's free. Or maybe it's her mother and short king. You know? She's giving Mother and F to M BF

Yeah Yeah Yeah Okay Yeah that's true Yeah You really see what you want To see

In a road sign And that's quite good Mother What about like 40 40 I hate 40 Okay I'm not going 40

Oh I'm going You know what I hate 40. Okay. I'm not going 40. Oh. I'm going... You know what I hate when they're like, go 10. Honey, what? And I feel like I'm stopped and it's like, you're going 20. I'm like, what? I saw a five today. Five?

I'm like... It's just like rolling. It's not even... Yeah, it happens at five when you wipe off five. Just stay alive. You just keep moving. You just sit still. Oh.

Also, I think like, isn't driving slower than the speed limit quite dangerous? Yeah. Like you need to go like the speed limit. Yeah. And like, that's it. Yeah. I don't know. I don't drive.

No, it's true. Impeding traffic. Right? Yeah. Like, like yeah it's so true um hmm what else do i like sign wise i there is like the when you're approaching a roundabout and it like scans you and says going too fast oh and it, like an interactive sign. Yeah. And I'm like, that's sassy. But like, I also have this like people pleaser, sign pleaser thing that goes off my brain where I'm like, oh, if I slow down, I get the like, great. You know what I mean?

Like it gives you like a little affirmation. And you're like, oh, thank you. Thanks for noticing. Some positive reinforcement. Like truly, because if it goes like little affirmation you're like oh thank you thanks for noticing positive reinforcement like truly because if it goes like too fast you're like oh shit and now everyone behind me has seen like now cliche uh yes i do like to live life dangerously oh my god i certainly don't like like highway numbers i I don't care. When it's like the F12. 66. And like, they don't even call it that.

Like, what is that name? Yeah. No. Someone out there knows, but I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. I think that's for like people who don't read English or whatever. Damn it.

You know what I mean? Like you can identify which exit you got to take. Also problematic. Thanks. Great. Cancel her Wow No for travellers

Like it probably doesn't apply to you But if you were in a different country And it was like And then you were like And then you saw 66 You'd be like Okay got it So you're saying that I'm xenophobic

Well yeah That's expressly what Matt said I was just hinting at it But you said it We were well i'd just like to um retract my global asia did not serve you well um but i would like to swiftly change the topic to uh the slippery side oh good mama it's girl okay so describe the slippery when wet Okay so we have a vertical diamond A classic road sign

Yes It's also that's mother child That is that is It really grabs the attention And that's quite important Now we have a car who's a bit askew Oh mama It is not going well

And we've marked the road and the tire tracks are slip sliding all around. It is so herky-derky-jerky-berky. It's dynamic. It's whimsical. It gives a feeling. Who is this woman trying to run away from a marriage that never worked?

Is she being stalked by a werewolf? I presume, yes. Driving in the night. But if the werewolf doesn't get you, you're dangerous driving may. Her whole car is lifted one side off the road. Yeah. Driving away. It's slippery.

When it's wet. So could you be careful? Just chill. In this area. Chill. Yeah. It's really good. That is actually, now that you show me that. So could you be careful in this area? Just chill. Chill, yeah. It's really good.

That is actually, now that you show me that, and Reggie's would love it. Because that's kind of the attitude you've got to have when you go to Reggie's. Yeah, well, no. And Reggie's, like, one of the women at the bar would be like, turn to him and be like, they call me Slippery when we're... You know? Like, turn to him and be like, they call me Slippery When Wet. You know?

Lady Gaga would say that. Doing one of her roles. Yeah. It's pretty fab. I'm just going to give a quick honorary mention to the railroad crossing sign as well. Just because it's crossed and it says, like, railroad crossing. And I think that's kind of funny well for the longest time i thought it was zing for how long like till two years ago oh my god it was like oh zing and i was like oh it's zing i see and then someone was like It's crossing And I was like Oh

Oh I'm a fool I'm pretty sure it's zing Wow The world's a crazy place So maybe those signs need to be You know Very helpful for even people

That live here full time Mm-hmm Who was that? Okay Well I think I think we've done the work, and I think it's pretty clear. Slippery when wet. Slippery when wet. Into the bunker. Congratulations, road sign.

We've finally done it. Well, you know what? There is, at the seventh ambipoe of the day, a full rain. There is. And those signs will come in handy when you are flying your volanters. And also the room with the constant downpour of fucking beetle with juice in it. Emperor's New Groove, beetles, yes. Yes, that would be slippery.

And the oceanarium area around, I'm sure. Well, I mean, when they fucking dropped the elephant from the Jungle Book Inn, that made a big splash. And the Meg had a delicious lunch. Megan had a stressful time, but that's just her life now. I wonder if this was your first episode of Death to Everyone Like what do you think is happening right now? Well also Courtney's got a fucking line at Wendy's

There is flake shake all over the ground Sabrina's screaming at her From the reject shop From the reject shop Because she wants to go on her break me love So you know it is slippery when wet From the reject shop. From the reject shop because she wants to go on her break, me love. So, you know, it is slippery when wet. I think the bunker could be described as slippery when wet.

And slippery when not wet, weirdly enough. It's just kind of slippery. Oh, yeah. And don't slip too hard because the abyss holds right there. And with that, we'll be right back. And welcome back. Hello. It's time for the next instalment of Death to Everyone. And we'd love to talk to you tonight about stationery.

Everyone. And we'd love to talk to you tonight about stationery. Now, we do have a pastel set of highlighters from Kmart. That's correct. That can't be denied. How else are you going to highlight your script for the community theatre production of Into the Woods? That's exactly it. The cast of The Nanny needs to rehearse.

I'm just looking for my lines, but there doesn't seem to be anything here for tree number three, for Billy Lord. We just thought we'd do what you were good at. Okay. Okay. Stationery. Stationery.

Are you in movement? Or are you stationary? So, I worked in an office and I stole so much stationary over my time. Yes. Which I was, you know, pencils. Yeah. Giant sketchbooks. Oh, that's good.

Yeah. But they were very thin paper. They kind of changed the sketchbooks after I kept stealing them well they couldn't afford it darling well truly um that's good yeah i love uh no sorry you go no no that's it a metal ruler i actually sat on mine the other day on the couch and it deformed her. Oh, she bent. She bent. Get bent.

Yeah. Oh, shit. What are we going to do about that, lazy? You try to unbend it. That's not going to work. The whole point is that it's very straight. That's it. A plastic...

So, like, we're talking, like, classic stationery. Well, okay. This is the thing. So, there's, like, my classic answer. Oh. And then there's, like, my newfound revelation. Oh, okay. Which would you like to hear about?

I mean, I'm sure we'll hear about both. But let's go classic first and then revolution. Classic, I think the iconic East Klein blue biro pen, like a clear like hexagon with like the vial of ink suspended inside that is a dime a dozen. It is so just the girl of the office blue i know it's weird but it's like you can't go past that deep rich navy blue like i don't think i've written in blue ink in 20 years 25

excuse me surely blue i mean it's classic it's classic it's just so like nothing says like black pen says i have this at home blue pen says we're at the office yeah um i do love the little hole just in case you suck it down yes in the pen lid yeah they even give you lids that you know you're gonna lose and that's like a little snack you can chew up that little nibbin oh no you didn't do that no what do you chew on i want it to be perfect and like if it gets a dint i'll get a new one there's two types of people in the world And two types of people in the pod

Chewers and non-chewers Matt Pick your side What are we talking about? Would you chew the lid of your biro? No It tastes bad Oh so you have chewed it then

Well I've tried Yeah Well, I've tried Yeah, I guess I've tried it Well, I don't know what to say to you, Matt I thought I knew you Okay, so that's very classic Okay, so then the new girl on the block So I didn't kind of give this much thought initially But then I had to get it for something

And it's that tape, right? Comes in a little roll kind of give this much thought initially. Yeah. But then I had to get it for something. And it's that tape, right? Comes in a little roll. It's got a petite roller. It's like the shape. Oh, my God. It's a shape unlike anything I've ever seen. Like almost like a circle with a triangle attached.

Almost, yeah. And you roll it along a piece of paper and as you do it rolls this tape film but the film goes back into the circle and what's left behind after you've rolled it across the surface of the stationary is like a double-sided stickum but it's not as thick as a double-sided tape it's just like a gluey residue allowing you to adhere things but it's just like so flat zelda and what are you gonna stick oh baby I've been using that shit for everything. It changed my life. Like if you were looking to do something, okay, let me give you the use case.

Like what? Okay, I'm getting to it. Say you wanted to, like you had a pizza box, right? And you were like, I want to add a decal to the top of that. I don't have time to get a vinyl printed. What are you going to do? You're going to get matte A3 printed off, cut to the size of the pizza box lid, right? But then you have the next problem.

How do I affix the pizza box to the topper, right? Your bespoke whatever. Say it's like the Lazy Susan pizza box. How are you going to glue that to the top well darling you could get a spray adhesive yeah that's the best method but it's messy as fuck you need an inhaler mask you need to do it outside you need space to do it okay so that's off the table you can't do that in you know the middle of the night yeah so what would the next person tell you glue stick glue stick mama, mama Then what are you going to do?

It's going to be so shit It's going to be so shit It's going to be crinkly Immediately the paper gets wet And then it starts going wavy Then you invite your little friend Miss Circle Triangle You lay her down

And I'm saying like around the perimeter You're not in a rush Because it doesn't dry This glue stays adhesing Then you do an X And I'm saying like around the perimeter, you're not in a rush because it doesn't dry. This glue stays adhesing. Then you do an X across the surface of the box. You're going to do a few more little darts in here because you can just start and stop however you please. You don't have to keep rolling.

Okay? You go... Right? Until you've got what you feel like is enough coverage, but you don't have to do the whole thing. Right? Until you've got what you feel like is enough coverage, but you don't have to do the whole thing. And then flatly lay your decal on top of that pizza box. It is adhered.

It is flush and flat. It's not poking up. Wow. And it's not creating any fumes. It's not wet. You're done, ready to go out the door right now. Wow. Okay.

Yeah. That's a practical use right now. Wow. Okay. Yeah. That's a practical use. There we go. Okay. Well, I was going to say the little crocodile mouth that pulls staples out. That is like the most needlessly evil thing. I love that thing. How often do you pull staples out? You actually have need for quite a lot of stationery in your job.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't use it very often, but growing up, like my mom had one because she did all the book work for my dad's business. And it was like, I was infatuated with that object. Like I would go into this. So much of your drag is inspired by her. It's kind of true. Sleek, huge teeth.

Biting, biting, biting. Removing the connective tissue. But I would go into the study, and I would take it out, and I would just, and I would unstable things. What's the deed to the house? Oh, no need there. It wouldn't matter if a page or do went missing. It's just so cool and it's satisfying and it really sucks and tucks.

It's so good. Although like to then, so, okay. So imagine this situation. I could imagine. You've got five sheets of paper stapled together. Go on. And then you use your little crocodile mouth. But then you've done that really elegantly.

So it's just flush staple at the front. And then it's two pointy ends at the back. So you have to like take your finger and push them a bit through. So you can peel out the staple without dinting the front of the paper. That really hurts. You have to push the staple without dinting the front of the paper. That really hurts. You have to push the staple. That's true. I think your little story was a bit more entertaining this time around.

No, I think there's a whole story about childhood and coming of age. Yeah. Matt. Tell me, have you been listening now? What are we talking about? So what do you want to know? What's your favourite stationery? Are you using any right now?

I can see them right now No, I'm not I do love some masking tape Is that stationery, Matt? Yeah That's hardware Because masking tape is used in the painting of houses, not in the like send this file up to Beatrice right now. Yeah.

What about? Go on. I don't think I've got any favourite ones. I mean, I guess I use a lot with teaching. I use the coloured pencils. I use a sharpener Jesus Christ That little hand crank sharpener That you could only see in American movies

I've used one of them There's one at the school that I teach at That's why they You like You put it in and then you wind the little lever I love that That's very cute It's kind of cool

I also have an electric sharpener Yeah in and then you wind the little lever i love that that's very cute it's kind of cool i just love an electric sharpener yeah i just like sharpeners are so bad generally like i just need a really sharp beam what about using a stanley to oh that's how you know you're in the presence of greatness yes that's a very like building site sort of thing to do. All of those like builder's pencils that are like a rectangle shape. Why? So they don't roll. Oh. What if you're sitting like 20 feet up in the air

and you put your pencil down on the ledge just for a second, turn around, come back, it's gone. It's rolled off the ledge. Pete died today. Just reaching out for his little HB. Out into the void. Why did Zelda become president of the world? Let them get rid of their old flat pencils.

He'd still be here for Christmas. Yeah, he would be. Don't be like Pete. Yeah. I love those pencils. They're so cute. Those flat ones. Yeah. Yeah, I finally got one

Congratulations But you can't put that in a I don't know You can't put that in a sharpener No but I Stanley knife them Yeah that's right That's why you gotta Stanley knife them And the thing I learned about Stanley knives recently

You don't need to buy the new blades Do as they do in the world of cosplay And just sharpen them You can just take a piece of very fine grit sandpaper and sharpen the thin blade and just use it indefinitely. Coward. Fucking do it. So don't go and buy new Stanley knife blades when yours gets blunt. Oh, how do you dispose of an old blade?

Apple. Put it in an apple. You put it in an apple. And then Halloween rolls around about once a year. Oh, my God. Scary. No. I, like, cover it in, like, I ensconce it with tape and then put it in the bin.

That's good. You know, when you are around people who didn't work in a hospital, sometimes they will break a glass and then not properly package it and throw it away. Freaks. And then it cuts you through the liner of the bin bag. Yes. There was a night, like when I worked at the Carlton Club a long time ago,

where I was taking, I was a bussy. A bussy. Jesus Christ. Mr. Goosey And I was taking the rubbish out And you had to go down like a flight of stairs Outside the building to get to the bin And I sliced I still have this massive scar

My calf open On like glass that had like ripped through a bin bag Actually that's hilarious Why didn't you talk about that in the accidents episode oh shit is it something funny for you um and then i remember oh so i had one of my first managers her name was danny and she was like that's like every manager that's ever worked at a bar. Yeah. She was so hot. Like she... It was like Danny and Claire were like the co-managers and they were both fucking stunning.

Stunning. And Danny was so hot. And I like sliced my leg open and I came up and I was like... I had an accident. I bet it was an accident. And she's like, right so he like this was at like i don't know 3 a.m and so like the kitchen was empty we went in the kitchen and she was like like where is it like what's going on and i had to like she couldn't see the wound i was wearing pants so like cut through my jeans so and then she was like, take off your pants.

So I'm standing there in the kitchen being like, and she, and I took off my pants and then she like cleaned my wound and like bandaged it all up. She took out the ribbon from her hair and used it as a garret. Right. She was so like, she just, it's so like, it's kind of amazing when like people are just genuinely like what does her hotness have to do with that story it's context yeah she's really like she's hot she

didn't have to do that no but i was gonna circle back to that um and it was just like just like one of like it was i mean obviously she was my. It would have been a bit of an issue if she was like, well, suck it up, darling. But she was so kind and like really took care of me. And I didn't get stitches and I should have because it bled for two weeks. You really should have gotten stitches. Yeah. But like, I don't want to go to a hospital. You were in full geish.

Yeah. But anyway, no, the hotness part was just she was just really hot yeah well our podcast and the podcast of some awful straight men have one thing in common oh what and she had a really hot boyfriend and she used to go and like spend three months of the year in the snow like they would go to the snow and months of the year in the snow. They would go to the snow and work in a bar at the snow for half... It was so weird. What is happening in some people's lives?

Right? I don't know. They just make it work. Yeah. What? Stationary. Stationary. Hole punching.

Hole punch. Hole punch is great, except that hole experience is like... i don't know where the hole is going to be they have guides yeah a guide but not like a no certainty no certainty yeah i do hate it when you've hole punch and say it can only do three or four at a time but you're like i have to do 50 and they all have to sit over the same folder yes and then when you're done it's like well who did this yes yes you're slipping and sliding all around the place yeah you look like my teeth i'm glad you said it um yeah so no they're not that um yeah i love like i'm gonna like a uh like a compass that's quite cool. Oh, yeah.

That's classic to get stabbed in the leg of someone in class. Yes. Because it only goes so deep, you know what I mean? Yeah, exactly. It has a little hilt. So you can just do enough just to cause a bit of pain. Yeah. Yeah.

I love that. Yeah, but what do you use compasses for? I mean, we use them for geometry class. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not like, when am I using that. Yeah, but what do you use compasses for? I mean, we use them for geometry class. Yeah, that's the thing. It's not like, when am I using that? What? You use it for like, drawing a circle.

Drawing things walking over. Dup, dup, dup, dup, dup, dup. Map walking. That's what you use it for. Yeah. Yeah. I don't do much map walking. That's weird.

I do like map pins, like a little red pin with a circle head. Yeah, that's hot. That's weird I do like Map pins Like a little red pin with a circle head Yeah that's hot I also like this giant Brass thumb tacks Yeah they're good except I kept dropping them around my house And now I've stood on them far too many times I love a good

You know what you can't buy a good guillotine anymore No you can't They all have a fucking guard And they all have a fucking plastic handle attached to the blade that snaps off. And it's like the hole punch. All of a sudden, an instrument that is designed for precision is no longer capable of its intended function. I couldn't agree with you more. It's so shit.

Where do we find this? Where is there a good guillotine? Right? And those rolling circular blade guillotines No Mama I need to No

Pull down Shing Yeah If a thing gets caught in there That I'll It's not going to happen again is it? No Isn't that really like

The tiny little pizza dough blade Oh No Yeah So okay Yeah I mean oh yeah so okay yeah i mean to me it needs to be an object that can exist and have function without any other stationary because we're only putting in one darling yeah true and we've already got highlighters so let's just take it easy yeah that's true

that's true highlighters maybe and an A4 slice of paper. Just one sheet of A4 paper. Well, we do have Patrick's Year 11 poetry. That's true. Which is on A4 paper. Yeah. I mean, it's got to be the crocodile thing, right? I'm into the crocodile thing. Because at least it has...

Well, it's like you could do piercings at Reggie's with that Yes You could Kill someone with it Yes You could Not to death No no

You can't kill someone to death But you can kill them You could You play them as Castanets Yes Little clackers Yeah

Yeah Yeah Matt if you wanted to bring that into your cabaret show Yep Castanets? Yes. Little clackers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Matt, if you wanted to bring that into your cabaret show. Yep. I could put little googly eyes on them. Yeah. Well, we don't have googly eyes in the bunker yet. We might. Yeah.

Maybe. Well, we can work on that. Well, I could just paint some on or draw some on, I guess. Well, we don't have paint or draw. Yeah. We don't have paint or draw. We don't have draw. Or you could just imagine them and I can do my own thing. Yeah, that's okay. We don't have imagination We don't have draw Or you could just imagine them

Yeah, that's okay We don't have imagination You know what? If you're really kind to Mystique She may transform into a pair of googly eyes Ask Rebecca Romijn To see if her makeup artist has some Some white crayon base

My point is you could turn it into a little crocodile puppet Yeah, perfect Okay Crocodile stapler remover. Yeah. Does that have a name? I guess that's the official name. Well, that's it.

Staple puller. Pulley. I don't like it. Snapper. I don't think so. I don't think so. And we'll be right back. Welcome back everyone Hello

Hello You look good Oh Yeah, listen It is time To Well, we're just going to go somewhere A long time ago

in a galaxy that's far, far away. Oh, shit. I forgot that I agreed to this. And decide which Star War is going into the bunker. She can't tell you about World War II, but boy, can she tell you about a Star War. The Clone Wars? Which regiment do you want to know

about um oh so it's quite sad that that is all true um okay so we're gonna pick from episode one to nine yeah which episode nine oh is going into the bunker okay not. Not Ahsoka, Clone Wars, no fucking Andor, no Han Solo. Just episode one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Okay. I have seen all these films. Sorry, let's do that one more time. Just one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine. Oh, shit.

Well, okay. Well, you go. I've seen all these films. Yes. I actually saw. What's the one where he said? Can I just have that reading one more time? You were the chosen one.

Oh, episode three. Episode three. I saw that twice. This year? No. I saw it twice in the cinema because I was a teenager and I was like, my friends were like, well, what are we going to see? And they're like, the only thing on is this.

And I was like, okay. And then I had to sit through that lava scene. No, I must have been a child. That lava scene. And I was like, this is so boring what as he's burning yeah fucking shores of mustafar yeah jesus christ and i was like there's never a lava lake around when you need to severely burn one of your archers. And again, you're breaking my heart. Oh, Natalie Portman.

Yes. I do like her. And that Keira Knightley. Oh my God. Wait, so episode three. Not my favorite. Oh. What's the one where they have...

What's the one with Jabba the Hutt? Well, there's a good few. What's the one where she wears a sexy bikini and is tethered to him? That is episode six, right? Yeah. You tell me. I get episodes five and six mixed up sometimes. Episode five is real boring.

What happened in that one? Not much. What happened? in that one not much like what happened it's really not much um so in the first one they let me see they the old man comes to the shithole planet and abducts that young man yeah the twink and he's got a robot that he made. Yeah. And then they go in a spaceship because there's a princess and she needs a hand. Yeah. Because she's been, so much of this is just space balls. She's, her planet has been destroyed.

Wow. And she's a princess And she needs a place to rule And then Darth Vader comes on With his stormtroopers And like they kill a bunch of people And then

Oh you're describing episode 4 Yeah Not episode 1 No one has ever wanted to describe Episode 1 Episode 1 the little kid is a pod racer, like on the game that I used to play. Pod racer.

And then they blow up the Death Star because he shoots in just the right spot. That's right. And then the brother and sister want to fuck and then they find out they're brother and sister and they don't want to fuck. And then the other guy gets involved. He solo i know what his name is yeah good and then one of them gets a rope oh no luke gets a robot hand because his dad chops off his hand yeah

spoiler alert yeah and then in the new ones wait which one do they cut the thing open and he cries calls inside the horse it's the start open And he crawls inside the horse It's the start of episode 5 That I like The tauntaun Yeah That's cool That's fucking cool

Climbing inside Maybe that's Like I Like that Wait is that episode 4 No it's episode 5 That you said nothing happened A man climbed inside of an alien horse

It's more like an alien camel, isn't it? Yeah, it's like a bird camel. It's a tauntaun. I guess I couldn't have been more wrong. And there's a yeti. That yeti's so funny. It's so good. When I first watched that episode, I was too scared and I had to turn it off because of that yeti.

What are we calling it? I hate that it's episode. It's not an episode. It's a movie. Okay. Did you like the first movie, the second movie, the third movie? Well, because it's episode. It's not an episode. It's a movie. Okay. Did you like the first movie, the second movie, the third movie? Well, because it's, oh, well. Because if you're saying first movie, the first movie was episode four.

So I'm confused. You never heard of prequels? You've been Lucas-pilled. Prequel one, prequel two, prequel three. Which one is got the one with the elephant robots? The big, those big like laser shooter robots that look like elephants without traps. Oh, episode five. Oh, so a lot happened in episode five.

And episode six as well. But they're in the snow. Yeah. All the snow stuff happens at the start of episode five. What happens, when's the one where they gave Lauren Dern lavender hair? That would be episode eight. Well, that's my favorite. Did she die?

You know what? The scene, yeah, she kills herself because they're fucked. I'd kill myself too if that happened to my hair. But that is like the scene of the whole sequel trilogy is when she goes into... Space. I want to say hyperdrive is that it holy shit hyperspace i'm embarrassed for you i'm embarrassed hyperspace hyperspace fucking hell wow matt you are the real star wars fan here he's got wiki up i'm not looking at anything He's got it I have seen the Star Wars episodes Yeah but she does it through a ship

Such a cool idea And shatters the fucking Enemies Yeah destroyer Amazing Anyway I think it should be episode two Because the Coliseum scene on Genesis is so cool

With the three alien animals. There's all saber-tooth. You really, you love this, and then the thing that you like the most is the thing that's not in space. What do you mean? You love Star Wars. You like the Colosseum one with the animals.

What? Watch Gladiator. It's cool. It may be. But that whole movie is cool Also they go to Lake Como And I want to go to Lake Como to get married to Anakin So you just like Italy

You don't need to go to space to like Italy You can stay in It's just I fucking Yeah I like episode 2 Episode 2 and 3 are my favourites Of all Star Wars media No We're not talking about all Star Wars media I consider that to be a large chunk of all star wars media no we're not talking about all star wars media i

consider that to be a large chunk of all star wars media um yeah what are you talking about what do you mean that's crazy clone wars era is so rich with like law politics and the law and there's so much extra content and it's really fun. And the things that happen between episode two and episode three is... Wow. I like episode five. That's the one with the Tauntaun. Yes. Tauntaun.

And the snow and the big robot elephants. Yes. Episode six has the Ewoks. They were pretty cool. Episode six has... Them all getting awards. Yes. Except not Chewie.

Not fucking Chewie. Oh, is this the thing? Yeah, it's the thing. I don't actually care about it. Why would they give it to Chewie? Because he was there. And? Oh. Participation award they give it to Chewie? Because he was there. And? Oh.

Participation award. Give it to the ship? Did R2-D2 get one? Oh, my God. Chewie is in most, is in, like, Chewie is in a lot of content. He's in a lot. That's because anyone can play Chewie. Wow.

You don't need to, like, negotiate with Harrison Ford's agent to get Che chewy in something. Okay, well, cynical. I hope that Harrison Ford is having a good life. Death to cynicism. Tong tong. Because close to Flockhart seems like a good time. Do you think that she visited the set of the new...

I do. Yeah. Maybe for a day. Yeah. What else? of The New? I do. Yeah. Maybe for a day. Yeah. What else? She's not working. Wow. Yeah.

She may. No, I don't think Colas is doing anything. I think she just raised the kids. They hung out. I had a friend who went to a house party once, and they found out at the end of the night that it was Harrison Ford's house. Wow. Yeah.

That's cool. That is cool was he just in his room no they left the house and then they came back and then offered someone like some people some food or something callista and harrison callista what an incredible name you want to go to callista you can go to the tea rooms um You can go to the tea rooms. Flock hard. Flock hard. I mean, no. I'm happy to just do, yeah, lavender hair Laura Dern.

You want to, we're not like, if we're going to like actually talk about Star Wars, right? Yeah. Well, that's what we're doing here. Okay. Yeah yeah I suppose Episode 456 456 Like classic yes great When you do rewatch

Like there is like They could you know Are they not the only good ones No Because then the sequel trilogy I mean like sorry the prequel trilogy yes are rough yes i thought everyone hated them no but everyone has swung back around and now they love them a thousand percent do you see how people were fucking in tears when um hayden christensen was like yeah i'll come back and do some things. They're like, king.

I didn't see the people ideas. Oh, you didn't see that. Okay, yeah. I suppose the algorithm just gives what we want. Works a bit differently. What did Natalie Bowman say? She said, fuck you. I'm married to a French ballet dancer.

Well, no. She said, sorry, I'm doing Thor, Love and Thunder. Natalie, like. She Thor Love and Thunder. Natalie, like... She's in a contract. So, they are rough. However, they do have a really great story. I think they do do a really interesting job of like, when you have three of the most iconic films of all time

how do you then go in and like fill in the gaps beforehand and not fuck anything up and i don't think they necessarily like well except for explaining the magic remember that you love trying to explain the magic don't you um but they really like they just add so much to the star wars universe and the politics of star wars it's really interesting um i think that's the thing that i always heard people say was not interesting well those people don't get Whereas there's just so little merit in the sequel trilogy from almost every angle that I can look at it at. Well, the weird thing about these films is the first three are created by young George Lucas who gets a rare slam dunk in the world of blockbusters

and then is able to essentially finance the rest of his career just on the success of Star Wars and does a lot of incredible things and cool stuff and blah, blah, blah, but is just kind of like 70s sci-fi but then upgraded in so many ways that feels super contemporary super cool the effects are amazing it's a lot of this like new tech blending with kind of old school episodic tell like storytelling which is exciting and fun and soap opera-ish so it's like that first one is like about optimism and about like adventure and about youth. And then the second three are like a billionaire who hasn't had to answer any questions or say,

like get told what to do ever, doing whatever the fuck he wants, including crawling so far up his own arse that he thinks we care. And some people do and some people don't. And then the third trilogy is like a company that is so excited by the prospect of IP that they're throwing billions of dollars to try and synthesize the good thing about the first one and doing such a bad job because it's impossible to be like oh han solo we get han solo back and we'll do han solo again yeah yeah so it's like

they're all yeah and that's why the first one like the first three seems so like that's the way to go because it's built around like genuine joy and optimism. Yeah, I mean, the final three just, it's such a clear lack of vision, right? Which has been like... Lavender hair. Which has been like, you know, like people involved in the projects have said, you know, like episode nine kind of retcons things

that they didn't like about episode eight. And it's just a shit show like and you have these three core characters some of them don't meet until the second or third movie yeah but you're trying to recreate this feeling of like han luke and leia yes but it's just like it's just it's those movies just don't fucking work um and even in the expanded star wars universe they work woefully like there is a lot of like really rich content that is really like like such a love letter to the core star wars story and universe and those three movies are the only things in Star Wars,

like comics, novels, like all this shit that is disingenuous and just highlights what a money grabber it is. They just fucking suck. They're awful. Well, wait. Maybe 10 years from now you'll be like, I fucking love them. I love that bit where he says that. I mean, it did give us Adam Driver

Yeah but It didn't give us that No we had him but it gave us star power Adam Driver and it's given Adam Driver a lot of ability to do a lot of Projects yeah he punched that wall I loved him in Marriage Story he's great

In that film But I've Got to say it's um it's a good old time who else was good in marriage story laura dern laura dern is in marriage story she plays the divorce lawyer oh she's really good she's like takes her shoes off in the office and gets a big salad a big salad yeah it's a big salad it does have croutons she won the did she she won the academy award did she i don't know i said taylor swift hosted the super she didn't i know i know i was like usher yeah oh taylor swift's at the super bowl yeah we've got more press That's why I was like

Because I hadn't seen it But all I had seen was Usher So I was like He must have been the special girl Whatever my sister says Which is why We're not going to be putting in episode 8 We're going to be putting in episode 2

With the ants And the little insect people from Geonosis I want to like I don't know I don't care But I also just am like Do I just't know. Like, I don't care. But I also just am like, do I just fight this for, like, the fun? Oh, just like the magic thing.

Yeah. Well, that I do. Let's keep going. That I do care. That I do care. Uh-huh. That I do. And I'm glad we resolved it. But I don't think they're going to be able to watch this movie.

There's that one TV with a DVD player. Yeah, but it's stuck. So we've got a DVD copy of Attack of the Clones. We could put it on a memory stick, a torrented version of it, stick it in the side. Maybe on a Halloween night. Yeah. We could roll out the

Sony Samsung Projector Pocket Samsung freestyle And Play Lord of the Clones

Purple hair Lord of the Clones And purple hair Lord of the Clones Is in the bunker And she presses play No okay We can't have Lord Dunn in the bunker But we can have the wig that wore Laura Dunn A second wig

Yeah, purple wig In a display case next to a DVD copy Of whatever the fuck Lake Como Italian tourism video Okay Great Fear not, listener We'll return to Star Wars one day Italian tourism video Yeah Okay Great Okay good

Fear not listener We'll return to Star Wars one day When I can I can draw a conversation Yeah When you can actually remember What the What's

Was it Warp Speed? Oh my god Sorry Matt Thank you for actually being able to be here And to Jesus Christ Tell us what happened in the world of Star Wars

Because Zelda doesn't know No I like discussing Star Wars stuff It's good Yeah, it is good You know we're on road signs But Star Wars I didn't get any input on the road signs That's because she said

What were you going to talk about? I wasn't listening during the stationary part Oh Yeah I was getting a bit worried What do you have to say? I think people are going to be often quoting How great the stationary part. Yeah. I'm just getting a bit boring. What do you have to say? I think people are going to be

often quoting how great the stationary section was. What was your... What did you have to say about road signs? Nothing. I didn't...

Oh, great. I'm glad you made a point. Okay. Good, good, good. I just didn't get asked. And you shan't be. Oh, my God. I'm just here

to keep things moving along. Good work. Okay, but go and do that. Okay. Oh, my God. I'm just here to keep things moving along. Good work. Great work, Gow and Deva. Okay. So, in summary, listener, we have the Slippery When We're Breads. Whoa! It is a great song. I like that one the best.

Yeah, it's going up at Reggie's. M. Night Shyamalan tracks, Shines. Oh, that's the second time because it will show. Shines. Yeah, Shines. The Uncertainty of Shines. Oh, that's the second time because it will show. Shines. Yeah, Shines. The uncertainty of Shines. Oh, my God. A little alligator stapler remover thing.

That's good. Only one, though, so don't lose it. We have Laura Dern's lilac wig from episode eight, which was, I fucking don't even remember what that movie was called. Episode eight? Yeah. And we have a DVD. Of Roma, come visit us soon.

Okay. And what a great week it's been. Gorgeous. I hope you're doing good things. We'll see you in the celestial void. Not because you deserve good things No one deserves anything Yeah Road signs shouldn't

Have numbers No one deserves to be spoon fed Things If you come to this country Learn the language Says Zelda Moon Bye We learned the language. Oh, no. Says Zelda Moon. Goodbye. So long, y'all. To you all. Bye-bye.

Death to Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. I'm here to sing the music which is written by Edie Sendik and Angus Lely. Lely?

If you have something to say to us say it at death to everyone pod at gmail.com unless it's a commentary on my hyper speed um and if you'd like to support us have a space do so hi bro at death to everyone at g at podcast goodbye Death to everyone at G. Podcast. Goodbye. You stole my land. I don't know what I'm saying.