Death To Everyone - Death To... RuPaul's Drag Race, Children's Books & Hobbies

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

A bungle in the jungle? Join us this week as we chit chat about which Children's Book shall adorn the shelves of the bunker library, which hobby the bunker kind shall practice and finally... which Ru Girl from the States is saved from the end of days. We have more fan fiction this week as werl, thank you dear listener! Death To Everyone!!! Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/MsLazySusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://twitter.com/zelda__moon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.facebook.com/naturalhabitatstudios⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello. Hello. Hello out there. I'm so hanging out to you wherever you are. It's a new day. It's a new day. It's a new day.

Hello there, sister. Hello. And hello to you, sister. Hello, sister. My dear sister, Zelda Moon, as I live and breathe. Your wig looks very nice today, freshly styled. Of course, I am a well-accomplished wig stylist at this point. I like the bang, but why the bald spot?

What? Yeah, next in fashion, bald spots in wigs. Yeah, why not? How are you, Elisa Susan? I'm good. I'm sweating like a big old pig. Like a pig. Well, a pig would sweat like a pig.

And welcome to Death to Everyone. This is a podcast. Delightful podcast here. We're broadcasting from the celestial void, of course, where we make some judgments about all sorts of things. Because it is the end of days. It is. And we're going to preserve some of the best of the best in a bunker situation.

How embarrassing is that clock to midnight? You mean the one in the Jennifer Lopez video? Waiting for tonight? Is that what you're talking about? I presume. That's not what they were talking about. You know where they forecast how close we are to the apocalypse? And they're like, it's 30 seconds to midnight.

Oh. And it's like, if all of human time on earth has been i don't know 24 hours now it's almost midnight and then they're like oh you know when a teacher is like two two and three quarters two and three you know and you're like oh yeah okay well you've kind of ruined it by being like you know if we'd started at 8 p.m and it was like well now it's nine everyone hurry up but instead they're like every year they're like well we just got two more milliseconds

to midnight and how do you feel about that you big old losers no one's doing anything teachers say that to their kids you know they're like if everyone's not back in their seat by 3 the count of 3 and then when everyone's actually doing it really slowly they're like 1 1 and a

half yeah yeah and so it's like the scientists were like this clock ought to get them because time and then they forgot yeah and they're like maybe we do a few uh hours after midnight can i tell you a story about primary school so hmm so i this is really awful but when i was in maybe like grade one or two like young young young we had like a um a blue yabby in a aquarium to teach you about responsibility yeah and a lesson i learned so i think for school holidays we like rotated through i don't know whoever wanted to volunteer to take the yabby home to take care of it i wonder who in that class wanted to take the yabby so i took the yabby home wow and because we had like we had aquariums at home but we had to set one up for the yabby and it all just i don't know it all happened last minute and who's wearing that cost mrs deborah well true yeah um and so australian summer i put the like

we bring the yabby home in like an ice cream container and i have it on the lawn while i'm off in the corner setting up the aquarium and filling in the gravel and creating a little scape for old blue Yabby. And then when I came back to check the ice cream container to move it, the Yabby was no longer alive. This is what makes you... It was boiled in the sun. It makes you uniquely qualified for this show. You're setting up in a little environment,

and in the meantime, all those people are dying. Yeah, it's true. So did you buy exact replica yabby to take back to school no that sucks it's like why yeah you're like sorry like kane killed the yabby yeah do you get like termed like yabby killer or something i we it's safe to say we went through many yabbies oh right so it's like there was another time where another yabby escaped the aquarium during school hours and then at the end of year when we would do like a deep clean of the classroom we pulled out all of the like yabby corpses um yeah we found like a yabby corpse behind a bookshelf i imagine there would be more than one she's like there's the mummified one from last year. Oh, God.

I just think that that's kind of like, yeah, not good for kids. To learn life lessons? What, you think everyone gets a prize, do you? Is that better way to raise kids? Death is inevitable and coming for all of us, and Zelda will probably be futzing around with the tank while you're dying on the lawn well be a bit more self-sufficient and you know yeah that's important yeah yeah i wonder if

like a yabby in nature would have survived the sun well it would have been in the deeper pool than the uh yeah ice cream container likely it wouldn't have been trapped by a small child oh so sad yeah you did that and actually that's why i think that you're like quote unquote so obsessed with underwater like sea life because it's like you have you've guilt a lot you've got blood on your hands like whereas i'm like kind of ambivalent to sea life but it's like what have i done to them like i've never killed them you probably have sea life in your stomach right now i wish oh i do oh what i had eel for lunch pardon yeah unagi unagi it was delicious in what form oh actually yeah yeah right it was delicious um What I've never eaten eel. Can you explain?

It's just like, it's kind of misc. Like? Like meat doesn't really, like all things, it all just is misc. Like it's like people are like making a big deal out of that. Like, oh, it's like most of it's just the flavorings they add. Like you can tell the difference between like Pork, chicken, steak and fish But it's like Once you get into those subcategories

I'm like baby it's misc Like what It's like just a random little protein with some fat middle I mean you heard it here first What am I I'm just throwing a fucking parade I do Again I'm vegetarian So it's been a long time since I've ordered meat or fish.

But do people buy things from fish and chip shops other than flake? Yeah, like a dimmy. No, but I mean like fish. Oh, flathead tails. Sometimes you get a flathead tail, which is like the correct amount of fish. Yeah, because like the flake is too big. Flake is too big. Yeah.

Also, fish and chips are over in such a big way, it's not even funny. You've had enough? No, the world has had enough. Like, no one is fucking with fish and chips anymore. It's too greasy. It's like the romance is gone, and I don't know if they changed their recipe, but when I was young, and chips was like tolerable like a treat a fun treat yeah yeah but like now it's just like too greasy like you can't just eat

a meal that is yellow it's all that same hue one hue yellow and then contrasted against a gray white paper that paper is so unappetizing. Yeah, I don't even know what I would do if I wanted to be like a lazy parent in the year of our Lord 2024 because it's not like there's much trough food that's come along. Like back in the 90s,

like there was so much trough food and chief amongst them, like let's go and get a trough of fish and chips for the kids tonight yeah and just throw it on the table in the packet it came in yeah and you put the sauce on the paper or in the cardboard yeah like it's literally that low effort and there's not really what else is like that yeah yeah we need to find a replacement That's a little bit healthier That's not Yeah Like pizza's good

But even that is a bit more fiddly Yes Because the good thing with kids And fish and chips Is that because it's all the same colour It kind of masks Like who's had how much of what So it's not like they're counting

The amount of chips Whereas with a slice of pizza Like little Jimmy had five And I only had two And whatever And I'm not having this Don't ask me why I named my child Little Jimmy I fucking hate little Jimmy had five and I only had two and whatever. And I'm not having this. Don't ask me why I named my child little Jimmy. I fucking hate little Jimmy.

Shit. He's adopted. What? Do you want to just touch on that one? Adoption. I would never touch on anything to do with my children. Oh my God. Despite what the media thinks about the gays.

Not even their gentle head as I put them to bed. It's too long to you. Exactly. Go to your room, wherever it is. You'll find your way. Okay. Okay. How, what are, how are you?

How am I, when am I? In the past. Wait, wait. No, I'm good. I'm good. I feel like, like, okay, so here's a little story about how I was thwarted this week. I went to go and get some like E6000. Yes.

Some little gem tack. I wanted like, I have a little stoning project. Yeah. And so I like, I'm like, and like go to Spotlight. I'm going to pay the full retail price by the fact that I am a member. Everyone, this is a particular type of adhesive. Yes, it is the adhesive. The adhesive.

The E6000 crystal clear. So I get myself down to the store, the one I normally go to next to the Autobahn. And don't stalk me. And I get in there. And, you know, Spotlight has probably the most inept stuff. No, they're not inept. They're incredibly skilled. Like the people at the fabric desk know what the fuck they're talking about it's just all these people are impossible to find and they're not looking for

you they're actively avoiding you so if you find someone to help you it's a miracle i find a woman in a woman a woman working at spotlight i think um there's no e6000 but it says you have it on the website. Which is why I'm here. I bet you love that. Go on. Yeah, I bet you did. I'm like, it's not my fault your stock system is a problem.

It's your fault. Anyway, it says you have it on the website. That's why I'm here. Do you want to check? She didn't say that. Well, I'm like, do you want to check if it's where? Like, I don't know this place. You tell me where the boxes are kept.

I'll go look. You've been out of the workforce for too long. Go on. I was always a hospital girl, never retail. Anyway, so she is like, oh, I'll check out the back. Okay. Going and standing out the back for five seconds and coming back. Like not actually. I'll check out the back, aka going and standing out the back for five seconds and coming back.

Like, not actually. She comes back and she's like, I'm so sorry. And this is not her fault. But then she's like, I'm like, well, do you want, like, do they have it at another store? And she's like, yeah, just call them. I'm like, what? I'm asking you. You're Spotlight.

You call them. You can get through faster to spotlight than I can. It's not me. You're like, fine. Spotlight to spotlight. Well, I'm sure there's the spotlight phone that you have back there. Call Ricky, your friend over at spotlight that you met at the party or whatever. Anyway, so then she's like, you call them. And like well i'm not gonna do that but um she revealed to me why there's no e6000 at a single

store in the entire state at the moment and it's because taylor swift is coming and every person in this state is buying the e6000 for their bedazzled bodysuits so they can run through traffic near Rod Laver Arena. Oh, my God. I am infuriated. Yeah. Like, I am a tacky bitch 365, you know, seven days a week, the whole thing. Certainly, there's got to be like, are you just,

is this just an outfit for the weekend? Are you borrowing my culture? Is this just a fun little thing for you? Yeah, it's a fun joke for me. It's like the Ozempic. Yes. It's like, I need this. This is life-saving for me.

For you, what is this? It's just for a look. Oh, my God. Anyway. I see. So that was my story. And she was kind, but I wasn't. Jesus Christ.

She was kind. She was kind. She was kind. And then they had the tiny little 20 gram things of E6000. And I was like, and she's like, oh, I found it. And it was like the black E6000, which I don't understand why they make. Oh, yeah. And I was like, that's the black E6000.

Like, if you don't know your stock, then don't. Why are we doing this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why I was like, that's a fucking... Like, if you don't know your stock, then don't... Why are we doing this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why don't you know? And she was from the party section. Wow. See, well... But I was redirected to her.

Wow. What is your relationship with Taylor? T-Swift. I have, you know, like she makes some bops, you know, and then they come on the radio and I hear them. I'm really obsessed with her as like a cultural phenomena because I'm like I can't imagine. Like I think if Taylor Swift wasn't famous,

which is one of her qualities, I don't think that people would be like, I want to party with that girl absolutely not like she's just kind of like I guess she's not this is the thing we were talking about with like aspirational versus relatable yeah and it's like Taylor is just like the ultimate like that girl I literally would not be surprised if I had a friend who looked like Taylor Swift like that's not in a bad way but it's like

I don't know a single person in the world that like is like a Beyonce level like awe inspiring thing to be in the presence of and I can't imagine just seeing Beyonce walking down the street whereas a girl

that has the energy and vibe of taylor swift i'm like oh yeah that's here all the time and that that is her appeal like that is who she's talking to yeah i um i'm i'm not not a fan but i like i was saying in the car right here i I just know literally nothing about her. I think. I just like have not been touched by that impact whatsoever. It's just like, doesn't feel like it's for me. a megastar where the fame is like the spectacle of the fame has dwarfed anything else about your personhood like she probably somehow will remain like able to write songs that are kind of about love and loss and relationships but she's so far removed now from any experience that is like any single one of her fans

because she lives in a like isolation essentially the only people she meets are sycophants and friends of celebrities like so like anyone that's in the like you know she would meet maybe a roadie every single second of her day is completely orchestrated. Yeah. Every single moment of her life is completely scrutinized. Like, I actually think it seems like hell, whatever the fuck this is, because there's nothing you can do. She couldn't go and just walk down the street yeah it's impossible yeah so you're just

stuck in very lavish apartments but you're stuck so it's like the whole reason to move to new york is that you can go anywhere and be in new york and run into people and suddenly it's like new york is just a series of towers that have like one room where you can go or a floor that you have access to. Prison chambers. Right? It's like the civilian has more. Like a songbird. Well, exactly.

Angelou, tell us about it. Their rumor is. Willis. The rumor is that she'll be playing dazzler in deadpool 3 dazzler is a mutant whose uh power is like i think everyone knows the power of dazzler could you go on yeah so dazzler's power is throwing small little bombs that um shoot up and a very blinding bright. And she has an adaptation in her eyes that allows her to see in bright lights. I see. She can look into the sun.

And that's why they say, there's Dazzler looking into the sun. I couldn't have said it better myself. But yeah, the rumor is that she'll be playing Dazzler in Deadpool 3. And I just don't know how to feel about that. On one hand, I think it's kind of hot, even though I have no interest in Tay-Tay. But she kind of has the look, if they put some volume in her hair.

I don't know if that's possible. She has six very hard-working strands of hair. Yeah, but I don't know. That's really the only thing I've ever thought about her. It's that recent rumor. Willis? Yeah. Okay.

So, Zelda Moon. Yeah. How does the world end this week? Oh, my God. Well, I've already given it away, haven't I? What? Because I have a giant Tupperware container. It's an ice cream container, so it's full of water.

It's an ice cream container, sorry. It's full of water. And I shall be swiftly putting planet Earth inside of this ice cream container. And I'm going to rest it gently on Venus while I set up an aquarium on Saturn or something. And it's far too hot. And the aquarium is the bunker. I guess, yeah. And the planet will boil.

Boil. I like that. Heat, heat. How do you do in heat? I didn't mean to, but that is what happened. Yeah. Well, you know what? Continuing a trend of giant southern wind.

Yes. The creativity. And also, they didn't drown in the water. It was really the heat of the water that caused that. It was really the incompetence of the woman that put her there. Oh. Oh. Well, not all apocalypses are intentional. I would say none of them have been so far.

What? No, like in human history. Oh, right. Yeah. Except for the one we're heading towards now. Oh. But even then, it's like such a diffusion of responsibility. Most of the people responsible for this apocalypse died a long time ago.

It's now time to go to our very first break. A quick little break. A quickie. I'll see you all later. We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a message from the bunker. The air was thick with tension as Victoria Beckham gazed at her son, Romeo, standing before the entrance

of the underground bunker. The world outside seemed to hold its breath, awaiting an impending apocalypse. The once vibrant city now lay in shadow, a testament to the chaos that loomed. Victoria's eyes, usually composed and stoic,

balanced a well of emotions as she hugged her son tightly. The gravity of the situation hung between them like an unspoken weight. The bunker entrance loomed behind Romeo, a steel portal to safety in an uncertain world. Romeo, me love, promise me you'll stay safe, Victoria whispered, her voice breaking with a vulnerability seldom seen in the public eye. Romeo looked up to his mother, his normally carefree demeanour replaced by a sombre expression. I promise, mum, I'll do whatever it takes to survive and I'll find you when it's over. Tears welled in Victoria's eyes as she held her son's face in her hands.

You're strong, Romeo. You've got your father's resemblance and my determination. Remember, no matter what happens out there, you're a Beckham and Beckhams don't give up. A siren wailed in the distance, signalling the urgency of the situation. Time was running out and Romeo reluctantly stepped towards the bunker entrance. Victoria fighting back her cheers clung to the hope that this separation would only be temporary. As the heavy door creaked shut Victoria watched through the small window her heart pounding in her chest. She pressed her hand against the cold glass, a silent farewell etched in the air between them. The world outside disappeared.

But Romeo was enveloped in the safety of the underground sanctuary. Alone, Victoria stood in the eerie silence that followed. A mother facing an uncertain future for her child. The weight of the apocalypse hung in the air, but so did the resilience of her mother's love. In the dim light, Victoria whispered to herself stay strong romeo we'll see each other again this is not goodbye just uh see you later to be continued wow incredible that's a heartfelt moment. I truly did get goosebumps when she was left alone after Romeo went inside. Yes. It really added a human weight to our decisions.

And what wasn't in here, but we know, of course, happened next, was that she was sucked up in the bubble tea straw and then spat out. I think she was shrouded in insects. Yeah, of course. But not the pretty ones, just the ugly insects. Yes, of course, no daddy long legs. Oh. Yeah, that was really good.

Did that have a title? Oh, sorry. So, no, untitled. Wow. So, two amazing fan fics so far. Incredible. From listeners to this show. I didn't realize we had such talent.

I know. And that one is truly two Spice Girls ones as well. So these are our most compelling characters. In the bunker, the Spice Girls are really reigning supreme. Yeah. All right. Well, please send us your fan fiction. And now we'll return to our regular program.

Turning to our program now. Goodbye. Goodbye. And we're back. Okay, let's get into the meat. Let's get into the meat of things. All you... the meat let's get into the meat of things all you okay so this uh this first topic is going to correct something that i feel it's been weighing on my heart is that as you long time fans will know fans of the the bunker yeah we have a library in the bunker

yes but it's currently empty well well there's one thing in it one thing in there a tiny picture of a dick tiny picture of a dick yeah wait is that it there's a there's something else no i think oh i could check the list but i really can't be bothered let's go on it's empty anyway so i think that we going to try and add some things to the bunker, to the bunker's library. Yeah. So we'll start with which children's book? We've heard about children. We've heard about books.

But did you know there are books just for children? Their tiny little eyes. Developed enough to see apparently You know what is my first You know like baths for little kids How there's like little I mean puddles There's the little like fabric books

That are like waterproof For reading in the bath time Yeah, shall be encouraging that behaviour with my children You pick an activity. This isn't your leisure time. Oh, my God. It's either bath or reading. Yeah.

I actually, can I say, who was talking to me about this recently? Someone was saying that they were really into reading in the bath, and it reminded me of my friend who all her books are like soggy and waterlogged from all her time reading in the bath. And I'm like, just doesn't seem worth it. She needs those waterproof books. She needs it, yeah. Yeah, what a technology we refuse to update.

Like you get the Kindles or a thing, but like basic books could probably do a little bit of a freshen up. A little bit of waterproofing? Well, it's just like, yeah. Weatherproof? Hmm. Hmm. Okay.

Do you have any first thoughts? Children's books? So, like, I want to. Any favorite memories? I definitely want to bop around to, like, some of the classics. Like, I think there's the Rainbow Fish. Yes. Which I guess is, like, it's meant to be an allegory for Christ.

Apparently, it's the story of Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ, the son of jesus christ jesus jesus christ the son of god the carpenter yes born to a virgin mother yeah that's the one so in that story there's a fish that has foiled little scales glittery and he rips them off his body, giving of his flesh to the other greedy fish who were like, what do they want it for? It's like, as an outfit? No, it's not like that at all. I've been reading it to my daughter. It's actually really weird.

Go on. Well, maybe I've got the abridged version. The bit without the sacrament and the crucifixion. It's like one of those cardboard onesixion it's like a it's like one of those cardboard ones you know it's not like a saw it's not like a paper version it's like can it go in the bath or what yeah it could go in the bath okay so what's the what's the tea matt well um the fish one little fish asked rainbow fish like can i have one of your glittery scales and rainbow fish is like no i'm too good for you and like jesus yeah yeah and then

he doesn't have any friends so then he asks the octopus like what do i do and then the octopus says just give your scales away and then he does and then all his friends he's friends with everyone but he's like really up on himself like i don't know't know. He's really. Also, what the fuck? That's such a bad lesson for children. I feel like it's a bad lesson. It's like. It's like, if people don't like you, give them things until they like you. Give them shiny things until they become.

I think it was just mostly led by a breakthrough in picture book technology. Well, I don't think. Of the iridescent holographic bits. That's right. Because what other book had that at the time? Yeah, it's true. It was like. Iconic. Fuck fuck look at how shiny this book is i think that listening to an octopus is sound advice um what about the caterpillar one that's another very hungry caterpillar i think that wait so what

does that one do he just wait matt what happens in that oh i actually don't know i've got another one that's like the eric for my daughter not for me um yeah good throw the listeners off the set it's got like all the animals from that book but they've all got like little because all the kids books these days have to have like tactile things on them like so it's got like little bits of fur on the bear and stuff and but doesn't have it has like one caterpillar in it one very hungry caterpillar wait so there's like a spin-off mcu of the hungry caterpillar i think it's eric is eric carl carl carlisle i don't know i don't know what his name is no one knows anyway he's made all these other animals and

they've all got like little stick to what you're good at carlisle things yeah hungry kind of hungry little bitches eating up the world um and then the other classic that pops to mind is the possum one possum magic possum magic which is just beautiful illustration yeah um there was one when i was growing up called like magpie and the fox it's called fox and it's a magpie in the bush that has a broken wing and then him and the fox become friends and then the magpie rides on the fox's back that's cute it's very cute there's magpies in the bunker and they kind of complete each other because they both have deficiencies. Yeah. Then there's Where the Wild Things Are about a boy that goes to an island where there's terrifying monsters.

But he's like, well, I hate my family, so this will do. Oh, my God. And then there's a sea in my bedroom, which is a good time. There's an ocean area time there's an ocean area there's an ocean area I really yeah there's a book called the wacky book of witches

which I can't find anywhere which was like just really detailed drawings where it was like you could just stare at them for hours Brunhilde has a big nose with seven warts yeah but it was more like maps and just stare at them for hours. Brunnhilde has a big nose with seven warts. Yeah, but it was more like maps and things of the witch's town and their houses and things.

That's cool. Like cross-sections. Yeah, I used to like books like that that had like a lot of... What is that crackling in the background? Oh, sorry. I was just eating a snack. Oh, good. Nice.

Oh, that's nice. This is the snack room over here. I like the books that were like kind of almost scientific, you know, like they had a little. Yeah, like medieval towers, but you could see the man pooping in the medieval thing when you open up the door. Yeah, that's right.

No, like it had like sort of maps to what the lands that they were talking about. Yeah. Like what was that one that was like forever everywhere? Like Dragonology and then like Fereology. Yeah, I used to love those ones. And they had like an inset gemstone in the cover and you're like, precious gemstone.

It was like this dragon, his scientific name is. Yeah. Yeah. Dirtiest, fieriest. Oh, my God. Mouthless. They were a good time Oh my god

I loved this book growing up called Bungle in the Jungle That was set in Africa I believe Bunghole in the Jungle Bungle in the Jungle What are you saying? I'm saying Bungle in the Jungle What am I saying? You're saying something else

My bones were there early Keep children away from her I'm saying bungle. What am I saying? You're saying something else. My bunghole. Signs were there early. Keep children away from home. Oh, my God, your drag story time. Anyway. Welcome to bunghole in the jungle. This is tactile. Oh, my God.

Scratch and sniff. Anyway, they, like, go to this watering hole and then. What? They do Yeah, they do And there's all these different animals And then they're like envious of each other or whatever And then there's a

We've all been to Baba And then one is like slightly more magical And he's like, oh, you want a long neck like the giraffe? Sounds like the rainbow fish Oh, wow There's only so many ideas Like, oh, you want a long neck like the giraffe? Sounds like the rainbow fish. Oh, wow. There's only so many ideas. Then they all flip and then the elephant has a long neck and the ostrich has a rhino horn and stuff.

And they've all been bungled. In the jungle. Matt, what the fuck? Is it delicious? I'll cut this out. What is it? What is it? What is it? Some chocolate pieces.

Oh, this is multiple pieces. Pieces. Interesting. But my favorite children's book growing up was The Lady with the Alligator Purse. Because I had this particular version that had really really cute illustrations. And I fucking loved it. What is the lady with the alligator purse? Oh my god. She's a woman.

She's a woman that owns a gorgeous rare Birkin. Miss Lucy had a baby. His name was Tiny Tim. She put him in the bathtub. To see if he could swim. He drank up all the water. He ate up all the soap. He tried to eat the bathtub.

But it wouldn't go down his throat keep trying and so on where's the lady with the alligator purse in that well so he swallows the bathtub right who tiny tim oh little jimmy and then miss lucy called the doctor miss lucy called the nurse. Miss Lucy called the nurse. Miss Lucy called the lady with the alligator purse. Oh, there she is. Mumps, said the doctor. Is she the doctor? Measles, said the nurse.

Hiccups, said the lady with the alligator purse. She does not sound like she has any qualifications. Out went the doctor. Out went the nurse. And then out went the lady with the alligator purse. And her cure for the hiccups, not in the rhyme, but certainly in the illustrations, was pizza. What the fuck is mumps?

I don't know. Mumps. Mumps. I don't know. Because I'm thinking if a medical professional told me my child had mumps and then some bitch with a fucking exotic animal endangered species purse came in and was like i think it's hiccups eat pizza yeah you'd say as soon as i go to you darling and send them on their way mumps is a viral infection that affects the salivary gland easily preventable by a vaccine. Wow.

Yeah. That you can't. Oh, my God. You have a fever, headache, and swallowing. And she's like, hiccups. Fever. But how good. Anyway, it was really cute.

And who was reading it? And alligator. What? Purse. Well, it was sentient. Oh, shit. Yeah. You only left that butt out. How did you know it was sentient oh shit yeah yeah you left that butt out how did you know it was sentient was having expressions oh it's like smiling yeah i think i like ate some pizza as well that bitch is like oh i did recommend this pizza but now i'm taking some home for later. Yeah, well, there's enough for everyone.

Yeah. I, what, well, do you remember the fucking vice-like grip that that Blue Day book had on our culture for like three years? Blue Day. The Blue Day book, and it was like nature photography of different animals, and it was just like, if you ever feel blue no i will give you a hug oh and it was like animals hugging and talking it was like the original main page but it was like the way that that was like a mother's day gift for a solid three years the blue day book i have not experienced this and i'm glad no i'm gonna get it for you no maybe you'd be

less depressed if i just saw some well maybe it tells you a story about how to feel better oh yeah or something i don't know um so my like what about most oh god, you're good. My most profound picture book experience was as a kid, I was like, which happens to a lot of kids, I think, obsessed with the idea of dying and death. Like once it occurred to me that it was going to happen, I was like, I am going to die. My parents are going to die. Everyone I know and love is going to die. There will come a day when I am just dead. Yeah. And I think it just would like consume me,

like just cause me like insane amounts of panic. Oh, my God. Like I would have like meltdowns. So not like fun thinking about it, but like dreaming about it like I do now. No, but like full existential dread and panic attacks that would just like leave me like crying and just be like awful. And like some of the worst, you know, times. Yeah, yeah.

But one day then my mum was like out, like, you know, at a store and she saw this picture book and she was like it was like she'd never seen this picture book before and it was like as if it was just like warped from like somewhere else to just be in front of her at that moment and it's called who is ben and it's this picture book like oil painted book and it's about a boy and he's like sitting in his room like at night while his parents are like downstairs, you know, hanging out. And he's sitting in his room and the lights are off and he's looking out at his backyard and then he looks out across the yard and there's like a pear tree and he looks past the pear tree

and there's a fence and past the fence there's the road and past the road there's the night sky. And he's just like thinking about like that, like contemplating this idea of death and dying. And then his mum comes into the room and she is like, what are you doing? And the light's off. And then she turns the lights off and they get into bed and they're lying together.

And he asks her and he says, like, mum, where was I before I was born? And she's like, like doesn't say anything. And then he's like, well, where will I be after I die? And then he kind of just knows like in that moment that he'll be in that darkness, that like comforting warm darkness that is out there beyond the the pear tree that's just kind of quiet and still and beautiful and it was very profound at the time and still but like it was like the thing that stopped my panic attacks forever wow and literally like there's been only a few instances since then that i've ever felt

like that extreme like i need to jump out of my skin kind of panic yeah yeah yeah but yeah wow yeah who's ben well exactly oh right he was the darkness he was the darkness beyond the pear tree and past the street. Also the name of my ex-boyfriend. Fitting. Who is Ben? I'm surprised you didn't say Grug. Considering your general appearance.

Oh, what about you, Harry McLaren? I was going to say Harry McLaren. Yeah. But what about Danitopia? What about, I don't know. Oh. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, obviously all the Roald Dahl stuff is incredible, but it's not really a picture book. Although it is a kid's book. All the Paul Jennings stuff is incredible. And like, I don't know, You know how kids, like, will often find their, like, their beginning of their, like, awakenings in, like, books where they're like, oh, I don't know why. But, like, Paul Jennings is, like, the awakenings for, like, weird fucking kids and, like, future, like, strange sexual proclivities

because, like, all his, you know you know like round the twist and all that shit oh like his stuff is just so fucked up and so fucking weird um yeah yes

it's good stuff yeah yeah yeah oh my god yeah like gizmo yeah yeah yeah gizmo was one of his kids would find this gizmo and then it would start

fucking with their lives a tiny little machine that makes you switch body with people around you. I'd say it's unbelievable. Well, that book sounds good. There's a lot of existential dread in the bunker. That might be good for them.

Who is Ben? Throw them a bone. Throw them a copy of Who is Ben? That'd be nice. Could be nice. Yeah. Yeah. Although Bunghole in the jungle is good Bungle in the jungle

That's what I said Oh my god Also what is that? What are you saying? Bunghole? Bung? That's what you're saying Oh my god

But why is that a thing? Who calls that a bunghole? Well ask the jungle Ask people gathering around that a bunghole? Well, ask the jungle. Ask people gathering around that watering bunghole. A bung is like the bottom of a barrel, isn't it? The hole where the stuff comes out of the barrel. And then you put a bung in it to like plug it up. Put a bung in it!

I don't know, maybe I'm wrong. Hey, listen, that's as good as we're going to get here. My God, what if you were like chatting to some guy on Grindr and you're like, yeah, I'm into toys, like dildos and bungs. Yeah, bring a bung. Yeah. For my watering hole. Don't think anyone would get that reference.

That is news to me. I did not know that's what that was. Maybe if they're over 60. And like you have to put it in with a wooden hammer or a rubber mallet I presume Rubber mallet would do that job so good Or is that a spigot? Maybe that's a spigot

Spigot I don't know What about Where's Wally? Where is Wally? Where is Wally? Where's Wally? Yeah that's fucking cool I just

It's stressful I don't understand, why I found it so relaxing looking at Wally Looking for Wally No, I don't like that Yeah It's working What if I can't find it?

Well, that's it It's like I knew where the alligator was When I went to the woman with her perm But also, I don't I don't need to pursue the answer But I'm perplexed and annoyed by there being Waldo and Wally. Why does he have two names in different regions? Well, it's Cluedo and Clue all over again.

They call Cluedo Clue in America. Oh, God. I can't pronounce it. I can't pronounce Wally. Wally. Wally is just not a name, really. What's his name? You know, Americansicans gotta be asked to do new things yeah that's true but i loved that tv show oh yeah and then there was like evil wally with yellow and brown and then sometimes there was girl wally girl wally

why is girl Wally so sexy? Something about that outfit. It's just her. Yeah. Personal charm. The last thing I think that we should throw into this little mix is I Spy. With my little eye. You know, like the book series I Spy,

we like bric-a-brac from a crazy gay man's house, like shoved into an image and then lit like it's Barbara Streisand. Oh, yeah. I had those books, yeah. They're like so – And you had to find the thimble on a page. Yeah. And find a dice or whatever. It was just like heaps of random objects all thrown on a page and photographed.

But they're so beautiful. Like the images are weirdly the most compelling thing. Like they're just, they're kind of sad. Like there's like a melancholy but an ultra fashion chic, like the person who styled those images is like very cool and on cocaine. Like they're so cool. That's amazing.

Yeah. And there's like, there's even the selection, there's a girl on TikTok who now is trying to round up objects that are, have been the stars of an iSpy. And like the object selection are so insane. Cause they're like trinket toys from the 1920s up to now, like up to when it was produced.

And it's like what how do you even select for that like that's fun it's cool that i was thinking of magic eye when you said oh i do love magic i really have always been like how can we harness magic eye technology more often now day to day when i worked in advertising i i think many times I was like, perhaps we could do something with Magica. Like billboards. It's a giant billboard that's a Magica. Yeah. And there's like a little foot lift, like a, oh my God, what is it called?

A little cherry picker. Cherry picker to get you up there. And there's people- No, they have to do it while they're driving in traffic. Like reverse. It's a reverse back on the highway. Just like a pile up of 10 cars where they're like, I can kind of see it. Are you seeing walnuts?

No. Oh, I got really good at magic eyes. Like I actually think like probably the best. Oh my God. Ever. Like probably the best of my peers oh yeah yeah well congratulations okay um do uh matt does your child have a favorite um yeah what contemporary liberal swill nonsense are you reading to that child well Well, she's only nine months old. Yeah. But she does enjoy this series of books called,

what are they called? That's Not My Puppy. Go on. It's like each page. That's stealing a young girl's dog. It's like, that's not my puppy. Its paws are too fluffy. And then it has a little fluffy thing on its paws.

I like my puppy with shorts. And then it's like, that's not my puppy. Its ears are too scratchy or whatever. But there's a whole series. There's like, that's not my teddy bear. That is not my truck or whatever. They have every single thing Under the sun That's not my bunny

It's a whole series of books And she really loves them That's good She thinks they're the best But I mean they're not They're not that interesting What does she know She's nine months old

Yeah I know I think she could probably Do a little better Taking the opinion of me Does she Watch Bluey yet No We haven't really

Let her watch anything yet She just Stays in the attic She just cries when she's bored And that's it Yeah And then you guys come and Reenact scenes from

Sex and the City 2 That's right All her parents do Under Yes Underneath thousands of years of tradition Was this year's spring collection Is that how you

That's a good I think that's a good parenting tactic Matt That's great Thank you I have never been so humiliated I did buy a Richard Scarry book there the other day A little like What people do all day

You can't just drop a name and be like you know richard scary it was like in the city bits it was like i think we talked about on podcast once before it was like these little animals that kind of like go around the town and they're just like there's like a worm in a oh my apple car yeah apple car worm and yeah love him big world Yeah Little world of animals Got one of them finally That's cute, that's cute Finally got off the waiting list

For the Richard Scarra And now you've got a few more recommendations Yeah Bunghole in the Junghole I'll check that out I think I've still got it Could we lend it? Could you borrow it?

Yeah Can we borrow it? I borrow it yeah can we borrow it uh okay so what do you want to do darling your existential crisis book maybe that or maybe rl stein choose your own adventure i'm sorry i left it till last but fuck how good were those books choose your own adventure maybe we'll leave that for ya we'll come back for ya because there's a lot to talk about in ya if dinotopia is out then that's out because that's mature reading yeah no ya we can discuss with with twilight and all of those things Yeah. Okay. Harry Botter. Harry Botthole. Y-A. Harry Bunghole.

Yeah. Come on. Let me say, yeah, Harry Bunghole. Okay. What book are we putting in? I think I'm happy to say Who Is Ben. Yeah, I think that's lovely. Okay.

Yeah. Sincerity in the bunker. Enjoy your crisis. Yeah. Not often that we have a serious moment here on the pod. Well, let's not linger in it. We'll be right back.

Alright. Hello, divas. Sulang Yor to you all. Of the world. It's time to decide. You know what? It's a dark afternoon in the bunker. It's gloomy.

It is. You can't be denied. And there's few options around. But what hobbies do you think the inhabitants of the bunker might like to pick up? Hobbies. Hob up? Hobbies Hobbies Hobbies A.K.A. jobs you don't get paid for

True So, Zelda Moon Yeah I'm looking at you Oh And I know that you would have done karate Karate Yes, I did

Maybe since That's so rude taekwondo no just karate um did you ever do scouts no uh did you ever do my brother did was he good i i is that a good or bad thing you just kind of do that's right, I guess you could become like scout leader. No. He like transitioned away from that into like. Oh, he transitioned. Into like tennis or basketball or whatever. He was like, oh, I'm done seeing the world.

Let's just focus on this tennis court. Yeah. Yeah. Did you do a sport? Basketball. You're so tall. Oh my God. I did tennis.

You haven't played basketball? You're so tall. You'd be great. A little bit. But I. I can't believe that's a thing. What other haven't played basketball? You're so tall. You'd be great. A little bit. I can't believe that's a thing. What other sport is like, oh, you're tall, you're automatically good at this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so stupid.

It's like, then change the rules. The amount of times I've heard that sentence in my life. They need to make the hoop at like mid-height to just take the advantage away. It's so stupid. Lower it. And then it's like, oh, well, then it's just about how well you are doing that carnival game of throwing a ball through a hoop. We're not ones to speak on sport, I don't think, darling.

I love the pickleball. Oh, my God. We're going to get really into pickleball this year. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, so I did do tennis for a short while, but I could be watching cartoons on Saturday morning instead of playing tennis. Yeah.

So not for long. But I also got... So I fainted twice in my life, and both times were related to tennis. One was... Have I told this story? God, I hope not. One was like at the tennis club. I wasn't playing, of course.

I was an aunt. But it was like the tennis club party of the year or whatever. Wow. We're really enjoying having you and your family coming to stay at the club. We might even offer you a full-time membership. Oh, my God. And I was helping blow up the balloons with helium. And I had never done this before.

And I had never understood. And I still don't understand how you're meant to breathe the helium from the balloon. So I was like huffing helium from this balloon, trying to like make my voice squeaky. You meant to do it to your mouth, not your nose. Well, whatever. And then I like just breathed it for too long and then I fainted. And I fainted onto the helium container and like smashed my head on the hard iron huff. Did no one try and like catch you?

I don't know. No. Wait, so you were just standing there like. And then I fainted. And then when you woke up, you're like, oh, my God. And then the second time was... I'm going to fucking die. The second time I was playing tennis and I got hit in the face with a tennis ball and I fainted and knocked me out.

A tennis ball? Yeah. Well, darling, you went to hit it with a racket oh my god so anyway that's depressing i didn't think i would be able to look at you after that um what about you what childhood well you know like any um like suburban kid with a little bit of upward mobility and two parents who were able to take us through. We cycled through so many fucking hobbies. Yeah.

It was just like, you know, the thing to do was like, you know, what are you going to do now? And I think that's like with parents, they're just like, well, we'll see what works, you know. And I think that's like with parents, they're just like, well, we'll see what works, you know? So I did piano, violin, karate. I walked into a scouts meeting and I literally walked in and was like, no,

no, this is so lame. I'm like, I'm lame, but this is not the genre of lame. This is not my flavor. I'm like, they're in, like, I liked that they got outfits. No, I liked that they got the embroidered badges. I think that is cool. There's something to collect here. There's an incentive. But the activities attached were like rope tying,

which I probably could use now in my real life but it's like wayfinding yeah what do you mean don't you know gps is about to be invented it is so i walked out of that room yeah um theater yes acting i did acting but i didn't like do it consistently throughout my whole life. I just did, like, one thing of acting. And then I thought, wow, I've mastered it. Oh, my God. And then basketball.

And that was it. I did basketball for a long time, but, like, in my youth. But it was just, like, I was so obviously really fucking bad at it Yeah I did That's how I broke my nose I didn't faint there Because I'm not a little bitch

Oh wow Because the basketball hit me in the face Yeah You were like Is that a tennis ball? Oh Is that a helium tank? Somebody get me a basketball.

Where do you think you're going to find it here? I did piano growing up as well. And yeah, acting. Feathery strokes, feathery strokes. Pardon? But anyway, these are all childhood hobbies. What? And also painting also Painting

Painting and drawing We did it at this woman's house And it was fabulous But then she wanted to do life drawing one week And I was like, Cameron, I'm not going to come next week It's too scary I think it's because I knew I was gay And I was like, if there's a naked woman here

Where I want to go Woo! Like a bunch of ten-year-olds. Oh, my God. Check it off. Okay, but anyway, ew. As an adult, what hobbies do you cherish? Well, like a hobby time is kind of over now.

Well, for some people, drag is a hobby. Yeah. What about that? Those people don't get booked and don't make money. Drag is the sickest hobby. I about that? Those people don't get booked and don't make money. Drag is the sickest hobby. I hate that. Yeah. Like drag is so unwell.

Drag is like, I would never encourage anyone to do it because like it is probably the quickest way to make money short, like short term. Like as in you can get a gig. Yeah, true. And you will get paid even if you're not you don't need to have any talent yeah you could literally be like i have seen just self-express yeah like there's like a i would say the majority of drag queens working have absolutely zero to none no talent in in like just generally. Yeah. Like it's incredible. And no one even says anything. Well, no, because they're expressing themselves.

And that's really important. Yeah. Yeah. But then you also just hemorrhage money on stupid shit. Absolutely. So I would not encourage. It's not a great hobby. I couldn't agree more I like drawing

drawing is lovely I'm new to pickleball but that's really fun oh my god aquariums I can recommend I don't know how people get into hiking

because I really like walking through like bushland but I'm like now what I think it just needs more stairs yeah scaling where do i go

you also just want someone to organize things like i'm not like i'm not as like how do you start a hiking journey if you're like not getting invited to a hiking trip because it's like i'm not going to organize like without any expertise a hype hiking trip but i would love to be on a hiking trip this is the alienating alienating thing about hobbies is that they so often require friends um like i have this i have this guy who i like hook up with every now and then and he is often like busy doing like dnd and i've said it a few times and i said it again last week and i was like i'd love to play dnd sometime and he was like yeah you should find

some way to do it. It's like, okay, well, I'll see you on Friday night and I'll just never say anything slightly out of the sexual context ever again. Well, maybe you could go really hard the other direction and he could walk in for a hookup and you could be like, roll a 20 to see if you can find out if my ooo is ready for you. Bung hole. Oh, my God. You cast mesmer and now you can see my tits.

Wow. Okay. I don't know. I've only ever played one game of D&D and I had a great time. That's fun. Yeah, but hobbies that rely on other people are. Yeah. My friend, he is now getting really into sailing.

Like on boats. Rich. Yeah. And he's going to Greece to sail. What? On a yacht. Oh. Just like, but you know what?

Like nothing sold it Until he said this one last thing Which is like You can just go to islands That you just can't get to another way Yeah that's cool And I'm like Fuck

I didn't think about that What species are on the island? Yeah like The only places I can go Are places where like Subway has already been for 10 years I'm not allowed to go to places where there's just like coconuts yeah and nothing else yeah have you been to french island no french

island so you're like philip island yeah yeah it's like french island which is maybe the size that similar size maybe it's half the size of the one with the goats I think I have I think I have but it it isn't oh there's no oh is this wrong

look I don't know and nobody fact checked me but there's no bridge so like there is no bridge no you needed to get right yeah you take

and in high school a friend lived on a French island and had his like 18th there. And so everyone got to ferry over. And then all of a sudden you were just on this really, really like large space with a very low population.

Cool. And it was so cool. But like island life. My mum used to like, obviously going back to her being from Queensland, her dad had like a little rinky-dink motorboat and he would take the kim him and her and the kids her and her brothers out to like a little island off the coast of queensland um where they'd spend like you know summer or whatever and they would just like take a kerosene lamp and a thing of kerosene and a cooler with food and then

you know camp out for a few days that's so cool and so it's like once again to reiterate my mother's sad gimpy stories so she's like it was my favorite place in the whole world and it just was so beautiful and it was called pumpkin island. And then when I looked it up later on, it had been changed to 4X Island because the 4X beer had bought the childhood memory island. And they're like, yeah, 4X Island, you can come and play a one-hole golf course on 4X Island if you buy all these slabs of beer, beer, beer and my mum was like what

the fuck oh god oh my god, okay it's sad Jesus Christ I mean human beings are just so disgusting Just awful Just awful So

So gaming You like gaming Gaming That's your hobby I would say I would say Like you're quite good at it too aren't you My nephews like to say that I'm a pro gamer. Well, that's not a hobby then.

That's a pro. Yeah, nephews like to lie. A pro. Look, one of them is always like, when I grow up, I want to be a pro gamer like Uncle Kane. I say, yeah, you keep at it. It is better than the other things he could say. Oh, God. I want to be a cross jessar just like uncle kane how your life must appear through the eyes of a child because you you have the life that a like

eight-year-old would think is the coolest thing in the world like not that i don't think your life is cool because i i too live like a child but like to their eyes you're like you get to keep all your action figures out on the like yeah anyway you want them and you get to have whatever food you want and there's like no girls in your house and um yeah and you can play games whenever you want and buy whichever games you want. Yeah, whenever you want them. Yeah. True.

And there's no parents and there's no wife and there's no children. Yeah. And if you have friends, you can hang out with them all night. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If.

That's true. That's true. Yeah, you could say I'm pretty cool. Yeah, you're right. You're kind of, yeah. Yeah. Like in that movie Big with Tom Hanks. You're like if a 12-year-old got put into the body of Big Tom Hanks.

It's been a long time since I've seen that movie. Big. Big. Big gaming. Great hobby. Oh since I've seen that movie. Right. Big. Big. But gaming, great hobby. Oh, I didn't say that. Cooking. For some people, cooking is a hobby. Yeah.

Yeah. Baking. I like to cook. You do. I don't like to bake. Same. Baking? No.

No. I really like, I bake a few times a year. There's like a few moments, but it's like, it's just too much sweet, too much everything. Like, what do I do once they have the giant cake? What now? Give it to the people? Disgusting.

Oh my God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah, a lot of sport is hobbies right yeah and do you know what though when me and kudron went and played that one game of pickleball that i'm now talking about at nauseam um i was like awakened to like it was like it was an evening friday evening the sun hadn't set yet and we met another couple who were like these american christians one of whom who follows the podcast because that's the only thing that i could like give to her to be like

follow this and they were both fabulous and they taught us the rules and were super patient and it was like we were using public space like the tennis courts were owned by the council and there was a beautiful breeze and we were like outside on a friday evening meeting people we'd never met before having a nice conversation doing something purely physical and enjoyable and i was like oh like i get it like i get this i never like i felt as a kid so alienated by sport because straight men. Yeah. And just the atmosphere around it was so intense. Like, I never got the joy of it.

No. Like, I just was like, everyone here is so intense. It's really bright here out on this fucking, like, afternoon sun at school. Yeah. I don't want to sweat in my uniform this is primary school um but yeah so like the whole vibe there is just like ew but um yeah but that was good but now i'm like maybe i need to like give sports another chance something yeah maybe lacrosse yeah maybe don't lacrosse me bitch but yeah i think like i think it actually might be something like a pickleball yeah that'd be fun pickleball yeah um okay

but what do we need in the bunker because what are these scrapbooking is a funny hobby decoupage they could decoupage is decoupage okay so it's like there are hobbies and they're like sub hobbies yeah i don't think decoupage is anyone's like a hobby oh like how much runway does leanne have before she runs out of surfaces to decoupage well in uh the bunker she could decoupage the uh the corpses from the volcano oh from the pompeii room yeah um that's true they they i mean it's not a flat surface but i'm sure that they'll adapt well leanne knows her way around a rough surface she's lived in her marriage for the last 30 years. A rocky road that was indeed.

But I think scrapbooking is useful. Do you know what I realized the other day that made me so at peace? This might help you, listener. We're all going to no um the you know i always had this guilt from the media we were fed as children for not keeping a diary right i don't know i think everyone must feel this way who doesn't keep a diary it's like when you hear someone keeps a diary you're like oh how nice yes i'm getting it that's exactly what i say in my head every time yeah and then i realized just the other day that i have every day of my life for the last 14 years or maybe less 10 years sent messages to people every few hours about exactly what was happening

and about what I felt about it. I have been completely cataloging my entire life so that if I went back to the Beastie Girls message chat, I could literally go, what was I thinking on the 16th? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. This is where I was. This is what I was talking about. This is a picture of what happened. Maybe I have made the most comprehensive diary possible with my digital footprint true and provided i just save that off

when i finally get out of that hellhole that is facebook yeah i'm good true i didn't need to fucking be unlocking that tiny little patronizing lock every time and jotting down your thoughts for the day um recently i don't know if this happened on anyone else's phone. I don't know. There's like an Apple Journal app that has appeared on my phone with a previous update. I haven't opened it, but I do look at it every now and then. The guilt begins again. Yes.

I suppose I should be doing that. Scrapbooking. I just think that could be quite like Do you remember me? I will remember you You know They have nothing to put in it There'll be plenty of detritus

There'll be wrappers Things left over The boxes and things That all the thick shake goo comes in. True. And they might have a little Polaroid camera. I think, here's my pitch. Oh, yes.

What if we just put Leanne into the library? Yes. She can also shush people. And she is quietly scrapbooking away, keeping a document of the bunker. And then as she goes, she just fills the shelves slowly. And she averts her eyes at the little dick. It makes you feel uncomfortable. It does.

It does. I quite like that. I must say. Put her to work. That has reminded me, speaking of scrapbooking and journals, when I was in high school, me and my closest friends, I used to have this book called The Green Book. And I had two, three years. Oscar award winning film.

And every week it would go to a different friend and they would have it for a week. And then you left it out in the sun and it burnt up. No. You're like, I'm just preparing my pen um yeah which was quite cool the green book what was in the green book just like things like notes to each other or like things like things and like stuff like little cats of elijah wood or whatever okay so i want to just draw the listeners's attention back, like maybe 20 episodes, where you told the story of how you and your friend made this demented,

humanoid-esque sewing project doll that was about 30 centimeters long. Oh, yes. And in that story, you're like, me and my friends used to do this really fabulous darling thing where we'd take something and pass it between you. And in both of those stories, it's like, well, I have it at my house. You're like, I've stopped both of those chains dead in their track it was quite charming at the time could have potentially sisterhood of the traveling fans continued but no i need it now it's in my archive it's a living document you could continue it i should send that little doll to claire that would be so funny.

I'm laughing about it already thinking about it. Oh, my God. Thinking about you going to the post office quietly offering up that tiny doll. And I watch as it compresses in her hand. Like, oh, it's a soft toy in here. It is. And then you giggle as you walk out of the show. Sarah's going to absolutely lose it.

Oh, my God. When I moved house, I've obviously changed local post office. I've only been there a handful of times. I still don't know all their names. They don't know mine. I could be anyone. But the last time I went, I was picking up a vacuum cleaner that I purchased on Black Friday.

Anyway. And the woman who served me was quite like old and seemingly quite frail. And I had no idea how big the box for this vacuum cleaner was. So like, as I gave her the card, I was like, it's a vacuum cleaner. And she gave me a look like, that's nice. And then when she brought it back, she gave it to me

and she was like, enjoy vacuuming. And now I have to move house again because I can never go back in there. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of these interactions You're running around town having And also did you tell her like I have a podcast She would probably be like You?

Fucking hell Matt do you have any hobbies? Me? Yeah Yeah I don't know Probably Fucking hell. Matt, do you have any hobbies? Me? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know. Probably all the work that I do is a hobby, really. You know, like making music.

Things that I'm trying to make in my career. Yeah. Well, I've just started making a violin. So I'm kind of getting into woodworking. He's trying to bury us over here. Well, I've just started making a violin, so I'm kind of getting into woodworking. You're trying to bury us over here, aren't you? Well, yeah. I mean, it's a hobby at the moment because I don't know what I'm doing and I can't make any money off it. That's sick.

That's really cool. Yeah, so it's quite therapeutic. Wait, is it an electric violin or a wood one? Just a wood and just a normal violin. Just a classic. I've got to start with the classic first and then work my way up. But, yeah, because I own an electric violin too, so I think eventually one day I'd like to make my own one of them.

I think they're a lot more simple. Yeah. Well, that's the thing. You know how they always, like, when people are like, I made a guitar, and you're like, did you make an electric guitar? Because that's just shoving fucking, like, the kit into random like shapes. You can do it with anything. You can make an electric guitar literally out of anything.

And it's not like you've hollowed it out so it has the correct acoustics. You've just jammed a pre-made kit. Yeah, that's right. I mean, not discrediting like beautiful electric guitars. Oh, I am. Yeah, so I think, yeah, I want to get good at making violins. That's cool. But woodworking in general, I think, is my new hobby.

Actually, you did the benches in the room, like the storage benches, but they're kind of like seats as well in this room and they're very beautifully appointed. I'm glad you like them. They're just plywood. They're really well done And they also have the slow rays on them Oh yeah the gas

The gas lift Yeah I'm very impressed by that And they're stained a bit dark And yeah it's good The gas lift Yeah We didn't mention gardening Gardening's nice

Yeah Yeah They can be a bit frustrating Until you get sunstroke and end up vomiting for two days Zelda moon Just one time Two weeks ago It was very bad Yeah I just think that like

The Yeah I'd love to be better at gardening It just requires so much patience It really does. Like bonsai or whatever. That does require possibly the most patience. Yeah. But gardening is a bit incompatible with our dark bunker, you see.

But we'll hit plants one day. Yeah. Which bromeliad goes in the bunker kind of thing. Which? Bromeliad. in the bunker kind of thing. Which? Bromeliad. Which? Okay. I think...

Did you say bungholilia? Oh, my God. Okay. So, what was her name? Julianne? Leanne. Leanne. She's in the bunker. It's spelled L-E-E-I-E-E-G-H hyphen A-N-N-E-H-N.

Leanne. Perfect. And she's always talking about that 30-year marriage. Yeah, she's... To anyone that 30-year marriage. Yeah, she's... To anyone that'll listen. That's her hobby. Her husband might be dead, she doesn't know. They drown in them.

They drown. A lot of life. Okay, so she's scrapbooking, making something of an archive of the bunker. Yeah. And the events that transpired. Where there's a bunch of hair. Yeah. Luck.

Yeah, she finds it wafting around one of the holes. Oh. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. Cool. All right. Well, shall we have a break and then be right back?

Yeah. And we're back, welcome Hello We're of course today talking with our dear friend, Zelda Moon That last episode Oh my gosh I don't know what That also happened last episode Where it ended up a fucking therapy session about my driving trauma.

Yeah. It was too much. Yeah. It really made me rethink offering to teach you to drive. I don't know what's going to happen out there. Yeah. Anyway. You've got to be taught by someone who's not, like, scared.

Do you know what I mean because if you're already anxious like I learnt from my dad and he could not give a shit if we live or die whereas when I was my first lesson was with my mum and she's like holding onto the handle

and be like watch out watch out like and so my sister learnt from her and she's a much she's a better driver but she's a much more like Terrified driver She drives very anxiously

Not as much anymore But I'm much more of a reckless driver But I don't have any of that anxiety And people have been hit because of it Anyway Oh my god We'll tell that story one day yeah um it is time yeah to decide yeah which drag race drag queen american yeah americans uh well we know vanities in the bunker

we know baby sluts in the bunker so they're thus far our two drag queens yes but now and theresa but now we need to decide which which og flavor drag race drag queen is getting in the bunker yeah so poopy poison it's not you um you lead us all kick us out Kick us off Okay well Alaska Yeah it's gotta be Alaska Okay great

And um Okay so this week We've got Alaska In the bunker Um Well let's Yeah okay Entertain some other ideas

Cause it's like to me Yeah we can round it out We'll get back to Alaska Put a pin in Alaska But it's gonna be Alaska Obviously Um But

Um Bebe Zahara benet she's really good i fucking love her isn't it wild that they found someone when the pool they were calling on was so much smaller who is still such like distinct yes unique and unusual flavor and i love that she's never really like changed her personality or her like output or anything to pursue more fame she's always done her thing yes and like it's in areas of success but it's not like through the years she was like, oh shit, I should be more like this or like this and change my look. And, you know, like. No, she's such a like.

No interest in that. Just like, this is it. And it's fierce. It's fierce. Yeah. And that belief in the fierceness is such like actual drag queen. It's like, oh, you're like old school back before drag was like automatically considered fierce. And you had to really be like i believe

it so you'll believe it yeah so good um you love ador delano i do i think ador delano was like certainly one of the most naturally charismatic people to have ever walked the earth i think like she just seems like i like i kind of i her on the show was such a joy and i kind of i don't know what we're doing with her i feel like we're wasting an adored delano yeah moment i want more of her and i just i'm like where do we go for more door but i like that she went off and did her thing yeah i like that like yeah it feels like her whole energy has been about kind of reclaiming that you know childhood experience of being an american idol and feeling like compressed and hidden away and slowly like just being on a journey of self-discovery and it all just feels very earnest out of Miss Adora. Yes.

I also love, like, Katya, obviously. Yeah. Because how could you not? Once again, someone who's completely, like, sincere or at least, like, I don't know, forthright with her feelings and thoughts about things. Yes. And doesn't really kind of like make shit. I don't know. Like her interest is not in faking it.

No. It's just like this is it. And it just happens to be palatable and people love it. Yeah. But it was never designed to be that way. Yeah. I love Violet. Actually, Violet was probably my like second favorite. Yeah. She's so good. She love Violet. Actually, Violet was probably my second favorite.

Yeah. She's so good. She's so good. I think as well because she just has skills that no one does. Skills does. It's just like, fuck that eye that she has for fashion. Yeah. And just the cruelty.

We just need more drag queens that are actively cruel and just because she sits in such a place of owning it yes that it's like never like people like there are people that have just forever been alienated from her but it's like the the rest of us you know particularly like that she came into the franchise, at the very last moment where I think that that would have been possible because the fandom was so quickly evolving to include people that would just not have been okay with someone who was so aggressively like, I don't give a shit what the fuck you think.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Who else is fabulous from the franchise i think bob is really good and i think that bob only suffers and like it's kind of the issue that the the ice has had in her season like in down under it's like because she walked in and just fucking ate it up and creamed the competition not to say that like yeah naomi wasn't incredible or like you know kim yeah yeah but like she just didn't have like it was like

she was without natural predators yeah in that show so you never got to see her test her metal and i think i'd be much more interested in bob's like trajectory if she'd had a full, now you need to fucking prove yourself. I want to see you sweat. Because I think she has it in her. She's got a tremendous amount of fight. But because the show has never set her up to actively fight for herself. We need her on an all-winner season two. Yes.

That would be fabulous. Yeah, really forced to go. And I love Thorgy as well. Thorgy. Yeah, Thorgy's amazing. The Thorgy and Bob dynamic, to me, is the most, like, that's a very satisfying dynamic. It's so good, yes.

Because Thorgy is, like, true chaos. Mm-hmm. And truly not able to edit herself in a way that makes her perfect. You know, like she could never. I listened to an interview on Keep It the other day with Sasha Valua. Who should be. You listened to Sasha Valua content? What?

She should be my favorite drag queen. Do you know what I mean? It's like if you told me all the elements of Sasha Valua content what she should be my favorite drag queen do you know what I mean it's like if you if you told me all the elements of Sasha Valua outside of it I think she's so intelligent

she's so fucking creative powerhouse super super talented like probably designs the best shows

and performs the best shows of any drag queen I've ever seen like it's just when I when I heard her interview, she was like, so what do you like to do? And she's like, sometimes me and my friends will go

and we'll go to the gallery and we'll just have a ball walking around the gallery. We might have a cocktail afterwards and just laugh about contemporary art. And I'm like, oh, Sasha. Yeah, yeah. How? How? How?

Yeah. Like, there's this scene at the end of the film the short thing where this girl is like with her boring boyfriend and he's like written to be the most boring boyfriend ever and he's like you know i got the flannel sheets which means uh every time we use them they're gonna get softer and softer in 10 years time it'll be like we're sleeping on a cloud it's like that's how i feel when she talks i'm like he sounds great why is this so boring and then your shows are so exciting and riveting and you're like like and then even just to kind of like because she's an academic so it's like the the like even when the thesis like lands her

which is just back to like and we're all beautiful and the expression is beautiful. It's like she takes the longest, most like academically verbose place to land at like the sentiment of like a Kmart backpack of like be yourself. And it's just so bizarre to me because it's like, how is that the outcome of all of this study is just to be like, we're all magical creatures and we should just love, you know, it's like, what are you talking about? Shut up.

You're ruining it. Yeah. She's so talented though. Did you see that light bulb number she just did? Yes. Fuck, it's incredible. She's so good. It's really.

But I just, I don't want to like sit and have a, like a party know absolutely not whereas alaska is that alaska hits everything that she attempts yeah like she's has incredible like comedic timing she has great looks she's also not concerned about doing what other drag queens are doing she just has her own look and has always owned it yeah and can do that in different ways but it's always her yeah um she's intelligent she's funny she has a great point of view just and she's she evolves like i think that that's why it's like you know someone from season five it's like not all of those girls made it to the 21st century like uh they don't all have that kind of like evolving understanding of like what the queer landscape is looking like and who like how to like she is very leading the fucking march towards what drag needs to become to become more accessible to more people and like yeah

allow it to be cool and fabulous into the future and she is like we've seen her sweat which i fucking love i love to see her wanting things it was so cool when she had that breakdown on the show absolutely i'm like that's drag yeah but also like takes it in a drag way and has owned it ever since and like it hasn't diminished her at all no um which i think weaker personalities those things do define you yeah but yeah she never let that you know no um she's just like the music is great yeah like she just really just fucking has it all. Yeah. Yeah.

And that's like, I kind of just think we need to figure out what to do with her. Like, I want to know what's next. Where do we take? Cause like, I think Jinx has had a really great run because she's such an incredible actress.

So you can kind of plop her into being on Broadway because she's an incredible singer and then being in Dr. Who and then being in the new like Adventure Time series. That outfit they put her in was so ugly. Which one? In Dr. Who. It was outrageous.

It was awful. Anyway. Dr. Who. Not always the people I'd go to for my. Passionate advice. Passionate advice. But yeah,

I think, I mean like Jinx is also great. Iate advice. But, yeah, I think, I mean, like, Jinx is also great. I just think, like, the canniness and the ability of, like, the, I don't know, there's something about, like, having your hand on the dial of your abilities so confidently. And I think, like, that's the only thing that sometimes happens with Jinx is that, like, she's a little bit too stoned. And it just doesn't feel like she's as in control of the whole vision. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But I love her too. She's very funny. Absolutely. Yeah. I did always love Yara Sofia. Wigs.

That's her? No. Oh. Who's Wigs? Wigs. I mean, Wigs. That's Serena Chacha. Ahena chacha not yara sevilla huh

i own the mistake yep okay any other honorable mentions well I mean she's I like Latrice yes I think she's fucking great what a creature she's really good in AJ and the Queen

lazy Susan's personal favourite TV programme I love AJ and the Queen with RuPaul but Latrice is like Latrice is good in that one of Ruby Red's

old friends and she goes to visit her and she's making counterfeit money. A dangerous act. Yeah. Well, AJ takes all the counterfeit money and uses the money to bribe people at Ruby Red's big, you know, pageant

so that they applaud for her and not for Trinity the Tux character. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Trinity the Tux character. Mm-hmm. Yeah. We should, maybe we should do a recap episode of Agent in the Green.

I would do a whole podcast about it. Yeah. I would. Watch along with me. Yeah. Like maybe, maybe we'll do like a sub, sub episode.

The Decapush. But only if I can get RuPaul in to discuss it. Yeah. Ru will do it. Yeah. Well, Alaska, Thunderfuck 5000 from the planet

Glamtron. Excellent. Okay, good. That's great. Okay. So this week, going into the bunker, we have Who is Ben? Who is Ben? We have Scrapbooking with Leanne

Yes And we have Alaska Fun to Fuck 5000 Amazing Okay, great Lock it down That's pretty good A healthy week Do you think

Well, this is You know what? Dear listener We are loving the fan fiction And what a fun little group Of drag queens we have in the bunker. A-list only. Yes.

Yeah. Although it's getting very, like, you know, cast of season one of Down Under. What do you mean? It's just like a lot of white girls. Oh, my God. The diversity in this cast is not quite it. Of the drag queens in the bunkhouse. Is Sabrina Italian or something?

Yeah. I always thought she was some kind of robot lady. Well, yeah. Kind of. She's of the lizard community. Yes. She's kind of got the vibe of the robots in a fast food restaurant doing a little show on stage.

I'm sorry, Sabrina. Okay. Well, we can deal with this Oscars so white debacle later on. Oh, my God. Dear Lester, thank you. Yes. And we'll see you on the next episode Meme

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Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme Meme-D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D.D was provided by Edith Sintzik and Angus Leslie. Do you have something for us? Do you have some fanfic? Send it to us at death2everyonepod at gmail.com.

Why don't you support us in our endeavors at patreon.com slash death2everyone? Bye. Goodbye.