Death To Everyone - Death To… Sleep, Gestures & Judges


Episode Date: December 18, 2024

Listener!  Can you imagine? Your celestial goddess’ sleep occasionally, so they know what’s up.  What quality of sleep can the inhabitants of the bunker enjoy? Hands.  Some may have them, and what rude gestures they oft make with them.  But which reigns supreme? Can only Judy judge the day to day performances of The Nanny? Listen to find out… Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'll join you Right, right Turn off the lights Hello darling Hello Diva, how are you today? I'm great, my name is Lazy Susan And my name is Zelda Moon And this is a show where two poshie young girls break down the tea for you listening at home We've done all sorts of things in our lives and that gives us some sort of street cred Absolutely license to say what we want and let's say we will

Yeah, this is death to every what wait one more time, but we say it together. Oh, yeah death to everyone What a good show that's good, I had this man actually I'm turning this show off immediately to go and find that show. Yeah. So this is Death to Everyone, our weekly podcast where we discuss a range of topics and we preserve the best of the best from incredible categories into a doomsday bunker because it is the end of the world. That's right. And this is our real voices.

This is unfortunately how we actually sound. Yeah, I feel like we do have many like counterparts in the UK. We just don't necessarily know it. Yeah, no, I'm sure there's a doppelganger that I shall meet one day. Ah, her name is Theresa May. Yeah, and I'll be meeting her on the 7th of January or whatever it is. Oh, Zelda. Yes.

How are you? I'm good. It's quite a week, you know? Dude. There's just one day after the next. I just, it's absolutely insidious. If you'd believe. No.

The audacity. Oh my God, what? For another day after that. No. I would love it if midnight just went for like 72 hours. You know what? Like, you just need a break. Mama, do you ever find yourself doing something mundane,

like shopping or walking home with your shopping, and you're like, fuck, this is the best I've felt in a long time. Just doing absolutely nothing. Yeah. Anyway, we have our space car driver, Matt, here as well. Hello, hello, hello. Oh, what's the British? Yeah, I think it's been a while since you've come up with a new horn that I've enjoyed.

God, okay. I don't think you need a new horn every week. Oh, why set a standard? Why set a bar? I went through all the, I went through all the other horns. Yeah. Matterhorn, that could be next week. What's a matterhorn?

You know the matterhorn? It's like a ride at a carnival. Yeah. Specifically the ride carnival. Isn't it? Oh. I mean, I'm sure it's a many thing. Do they play?

Tequila. No, I was trying to join in on my British, my British accent. Yeah, but we shouldn't be like, hey, hey, hey, hey. I don't know, Matt. I can't like, I'll be, I'm aware of your intention. It's the execution that bothers me. Pull up to the bumper, baby. Anyway, black limousine. Jada?

Yeah. No, that's it. I don't know. What do I have to say? I mean, we already discussed the fly dick last week. Did you ever figure that out? No, I think it really was like I was, I've been thinking about it since we recorded the last episode. Fly dick. figure that out? No, I think it really was like I was, I've been thinking about it since we

recorded the last episode. And I think it really was like this phenomena where like the fly in your pants makes it look like you have an erection. But why would I have thought that that was an interesting topic to discuss? I mean, there's a lot of questions there. Incredible ones. And, uh, they also, I probably should address the fact that the podcast came out on Wednesday night last week instead of Tuesday. Yeah.

What the fuck? Well, I did go through all of Tuesday where nothing like I was like busy working on other things, obviously I have a rich and full life, but I forgot to edit the episode and then, uh, Wednesday rolled around and in the morning, my boyfriend, uh, who's just moved across the country and now we are living together was like, I, yeah. And the whole week he's had issues with pain in his tummy. And, um, the doctors were like, I think you might be having appendicitis. And, um,

you might be having it for dinner. And can't you bring this creative mind to bear on the horn selection map. Anyway. And then he was like, actually, I'm a bit freaked out just based on like what this, like the, the bloods person said to him when they were like, Ooh, I'm a bit freaked out just based on like what this, like the bloods person said to him when they were like, Ooh, that's a doozy. If you are having an appendicitis, you should go to a hospital immediately because it's going to seem like it's all okay.

And then you're going to wake up in excruciating pain going into septic shock because blah, blah, blah. So he went to the hospital. We took him to the emergency room. We sat in the emergency room for a couple of hours and, um, there was a lot happening at St Vincent's emergency room. Let me tell you, um, lots of screaming and old lady who is like, like there's this old woman who was like, like, like obviously like I would say drug addicted woman who was like, obviously, like I would say, drug addicted woman, who was looking for,

I don't know, maybe an opiate or something, but she's like, get out of the way, I'm going to spew. And I was like, I'm not buying it, sweetheart. And then she started going, and I was like, I'm sorry, but if I, if I've got like a limited supply of opiates here, that performance isn't getting shit from me. I want to see liquid on floor. Do you know what I mean? Why are you saying this to her?

Internal monologue. I didn't say- You don't work there, darling. You didn't win the acting challenge this week, darling. I'm not buying this vomiting. And then at one point she ran through the whole place and was like, get out of the way, I'm going to spew! And pushed aside like a wet floor sign and then ran to the bathroom,

was banging on the door and was like, bleh, bleh. I was like, you're not going to spew, stop lying! We can all tell you're lying and it's embarrassing. Wow. Yeah. And did she spew? That woman hasn't spewed in years, but she can't even remember what spewing sounds like.

She was like doing the round the twist theme song. Anyway, I pray for that woman. Um, obviously drug addiction is no joke. And neither is lying. But lying is actually a worst crime. Yeah. Lying about spewing, the worst crime of all. Because if you're going to say you're going to do it, then do it.

Yeah. Follow through. What do you think about like emergency? Because what a tough gig. Because that is not a line that is fair. It's like, it's not first come first serve. What is it called to trifecta? Triage.

Yeah. It's like, oh, your leg was cut off and you're bleeding out. You're going to get in above kerchief. Yeah. But to be fair, I think they should have triage nurses for like lines at clubs. Yes. Oh, you're a loser. I don't think you need this right now.

Yeah. It's like, did you see that? Like, well maybe they do need it. Yeah. Maybe they need it the most. We can't just have losers in the club, but like there's a time and place and it shouldn't just be because you were next in line, but that if they, got to see someone, they wrote down your case like, oh, you're single. You've had three wines.

You're kicking on after another party. You seem to really need this. Like we'll send you in straight away. Right. And then you are you're just coming to see a friend. You're not going to buy a drink when you're inside. OK, well, we're going to send you to the back of the line. Yeah.

I love that. Yeah. Cute. I love that. Yeah. Yeah. Also like, I don't know how it can happen, but like on like really skinny sidewalks, there should be a hierarchy there of like, move! Because I'm trying to get through. Yes. That's all.

I'm actually, it's just like, how do people not have spatial awareness? I spent too much time walking around shopping centers this week and people just waft. Do you know what's the worst part is that because I'm a massive, like homosexual, who was like nice to teachers all through primary school. My whole first inclination whenever like, even if the other person is completely in the wrong in the sidewalk matrix, if they walk into me, I'm like, I'm so sorry. Like I'm sorry every step of the way. If someone is not aware that they're taking up space on a sidewalk and they don't get out of the fucking way. and then I come up behind them, obviously

trying to get through and they don't apologize. And like, it's okay if you're just like off in space, but like, you have to immediately be like, I'm so sorry. I'll never exist again. Yes. Because that is the rules of living. Yes, and you shouldn't exist again. No, it's so weird.

Yeah. Anyway. Cooked. Um, so this again. No. It's so weird. Yeah. Anyway. Cooked. So this week. Yeah. And I have to keep as much of this anonymous as possible. I know. I did a trivia gig anonymously. Go on.

Okay. So I was graciously given this gig by a friend and she was very sweet. She's like, can you take this gig? I'm going to be away. And I was like, I'd love to, that'd be sweet. It'd be a great little, you know, pocket money for the midweek. And I was like, I'll go. It'll be great.

I haven't done a trivia in a while and blah, blah, blah. So I go to the trivia gig and I get there immediately when I walk in out of the blazing hot sun. Do you know what I expect when you come to the bar of a trivia gig as a drag queen? A free drink. A free drink. That should be the- Anything you like.

Before we have a conversation about anything, it should be like, oh, can I get you a drink? Yeah. We'll just get started. No, that wasn't any of it. One, two, three, tri-ash. Yes. Yes. Anyway, so I get you a drink? Yeah. We'll just get started. No, that wasn't any of it. One, two, three triage. Yes. Yes. Anyway, so I'm like, okay. And then they're like, okay, so I'll take you out the back and I'll show you around. And I was like, okay, no free drink.

It was great. Um, because I just want to start on like a jovial fun note where they're like, oh, wow, you look amazing. Can I get you anything from the bar? Do you want anything? Cause it's like, that's where the bar, it should just be the vibe. You're welcoming in a new participant in the bar? Do you want anything? Because it's like, that's, we're at a bar. It should just be the vibe. You're welcoming in a new participant in the bar atmosphere.

This is the vibe. That was not the vibe. But it's also the gatekeeper of the vibe. Yes. Which, so you want to set them up with a good vibe. A good vibe. Just one. And I was like, I'm driving, so I'm just going to have like two drinks tonight, but I'd like

one of them to be now that I've just come in from the blazing heat. Anyway, so we go out the back and this guy who's a straight man, obviously, and he, he's like, yeah, but like, I want you to imagine the shirt. It's a short sleeve, seafoam green. Button up? Button up. Oh, short sleeve button up. And like a top button. Sorry if you're listening to this, but that is how you looked. I'm not making this up to make you sound bad. That's what you decided to wear.

Oh my god. Just painting a picture for the listener. I'm painting a picture with words, an accurate depiction of how you were dressed that night. So. Was he wearing shorts? Yes, of course he was wearing fucking shorts. Yeah.

Just no pants. And also everyone else at the bar seemed to have a cool, lovely vibe. Yeah. That's the weird thing. There was a hierarchy. Staff or the... Staff. Yeah, yeah.

And then the king at the top of his seafoam tower seemed to have a very off vibe where they don't offer drinks to cross dresses that come in off the blazing hot sun. Anyway, so then we go out the back and he's like, okay, so here's how it works. vibe where they don't offer drinks to cross dresses that come in off the blazing hot sun Anyway, so then we go out the back and he's like, okay, so here's how it works Little and I'm like, okay. Yes, I've run trivia before but like thank you for inducting me. These are the prizes this is we're gonna we give out like we have a Jugger a bottle of wine voucher jugger a bottle of wine voucher and then we have a $15 voucher $30 voucher and $50 voucher, jugger a bottle of wine voucher, and then we have a $15 voucher, $30 voucher, and $50 voucher.

This might be giving away too much because obviously if you know this place, you'll know that that's the prices, but I don't care. Because I'm never going back. What is this voucher land? Voucher land, no physical prize. Why am I meant to club someone within the street when they're walking through the room? Exactly. Anyway, so then he's like, okay, so when you go around the room, you can just hand out

the question sheets and I'm like, great. And then can you also hand out this sheet, which is to rank your performance tonight? Your own performance? Lazy Susan's performance. Oh, where you had to rank yourself? The people attending the trivia. The people attending had to rank yourself. The people attending the trivia. The people attending had to rank you. I had to give them a sheet that said, how did you find the atmosphere? How did you, how might, how likely are you to return?

And I'm like, sir, I do not know you, but I did not become a cross-dresser to have members of the public decide what I am and am not allowed to do. I am above these people. Their opinions mean nothing. Why? Like they should be so lucky. How dare you? Yeah.

And this is not even taking into account, like how big my head has gotten since I've become a television star. I know, but that's it. I'm like trying to like be like, no, like, you know, Anna Scott and Notting Hill, like I'm trying to be a real person. So I'm not even bringing that fact up that I'm on, that I'm on Stan. Anyway, so I'm like, yeah. And then he's like, also, can you make sure you don't speed through it?

Because some of the girls speed through it and I want to keep all the patrons here until at least nine. And I was like, OK, well, I'm going to speed through it. But like, I haven't done anything wrong. Why the fuck are you treating me like I'm a fucking idiot? Yeah. And then he's like, okay. And I'm like, also, could I just grab a drink?

He's like, yeah, I'll take it off your $50 bar tab. And that's for food and drink by the way. And I was like, do you know what the bar tab is for me? A drag queen hosting drag trivia? Infinity. It is all the drinks. If this is a gay bar and you've learned your lesson over many years, two drink cards. But in the case that I am here in a straight venue on a fucking Wednesday night, I could

drink every alcoholic beverage in this venue and your sister's sites as well. I could put you into insolvency, and that would be allyship. How fucking dare you say $50 fucking bar tab to me, when I didn't even have a chance to say that I drove. But like, that's my decision. I will drink as much as your shitty Prosecco as I want.

I will flirt with your barstuff. I'll say, hey darling, how about a drink for this old girl? She's dry. And they'll say, oh, you're a delight. Have some more shitty Prosecco. That's the circle of goddamn life. And you sir, Seafoam, are getting in the middle of that. I'm just saying Seafoam, are getting in the middle of that.

His name is C-Foam. Yeah. $50 bar tab. My fucking hole. Anyway, first round. Also, that's weird. It's weird. Because it's either like drink cards and maybe like if it were a bit more normal. Yeah.

Like I feel like the drink card era has kind of ended for working in venues. Yeah. Because it's like, you just don't pay. Yes, like you're here working For them also if I get messy drunk like then that I'm being unprofessional. Oh, then don't like get hired Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so it's like I will watch myself and make sure that I am remaining professional in your venue Yes, but also it's like you're treating me like a staff member, not a fucking high caliber streaming service entertainer, which I am. Anyway, so then we roll into the first round,

and I go around and I hand out those excruciating rating forms like I'm a fucking idiot, and I hand out those excruciating rating forms, like I'm a fucking idiot. And I'm like, um, I've been asked to hand this to you so you can rate my performance tonight. Just so you know, also, is this your first time here? What's the vibe? And they're like, yeah, this is my first time here. I actually came here for you.

And I'm like, oh, that's interesting. Thank you. Like welcome. Um, anyway, blah, blah, blah. So we have a full house. It's a great night. We're having great time with everyone. Everyone is amazing. And for the first round, I just pick up the first piece of paper for the winner. And it just so happens to be the $15 voucher. I give it to them. They're happy. I'm happy. I'm like, $15 is approximately the same

amount of as jug of beer. So who gives a shit that I didn't give them the jug of beer or wine? of his jug of beer, so who gives a shit that I didn't give them the jug of beer or wine. Yeah. So we call it mood. And then someone who normally comes to the trivia comes up to me and is like, oh, by the way, like they normally give out the voucher for the jug of wine, the jug of beer or wine, whatever in the first round. I'm like, oh yeah, that's fine. I don't really care.

I'll, you know, like who gives a shit, like, but thank you. Anyway, so then I start the next round. I'm on the microphone reading the questions to the people in the venue and C-Foam stomps up to me and says, did you give out the $15 voucher first? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm talking to a room of your patrons. How dare you? I just couldn't believe it.

And I was like, yeah, I did. Sorry, but come to my attention that that was not correct. Yeah. Yeah, we don't do that. But I guess I must not have explained that clearly enough at the start. Oh Excuse me Excuse me

Are you fucking kidding me? You're paying me two hundred and fifty dollars to stomp around write trivia for you four rounds of fucking trivia All around four rounds all including a sound round do fucking two hours of makeup getting ready to get my ass here. Walk through the fucking Sahara desert from my car to get here to not be offered a fucking single drink when I walk into your bar and then deal with you fucking explaining to me how a goddamn trivia works, a fucking drag queen, for you to come up to me in the middle of the second round accusing me of somehow messing up your perfectly delicate equilibrium, which is called giving out a fucking piece of paper with $15 written on it. How fucking dare you?

You are not paying me enough to treat me like one of your fucking staff members. Get fucking lost, you piece of shit. It was so lame and I will never be back there again. And if you were hearing this, I will never be back there again. It was foul. And that's no shade on the girl who gave me the gig. Apparently, it's normally fun and lovely. The people there were amazing.

It was just like, it was just seafoam. Seafoam? The vibe of this man. I was like, you are a straight man who has said we're going to do a drag night because I think that that will earn us money and get us patrons. You are not enamored by the form. You have no appreciation of the divas and you don't fucking deserve the fucking talent. And like the other girl that does it is incredible.

So they don't deserve her either. It's just like, I don't know what the fuck you think is happening here, but this is not like a rusted shift. You don't get to treat me like that. How dare you? It was not right. And it did remind me of why the fuck I left Hossburg. Cause it's like, you do not. Those people are everywhere.

Do not ever get to talk to me like that. And it wasn't like rude. It was just like this bizarre like ickiness of like trying to micromanage me. And I was like, I do my job. You do yours. Go and get me a Chardonnay with ice in it. Anyway, that was my week. Wow. That was every night this week. me a Chardonnay with ice in it. Anyway, that was my week.

Wow. That was every night this week. I've relived it every night since. And I guess my boyfriend went to the emergency room. Yeah. Whenever I have experiences like that, I relive them over and over. I just was shocked, but I was like, I was trying as I was leaving the venue, I was like, have I become a monster? Because I feel like there's been two instances in the last year where you and I were at the last one,

where I've been like, I'm never working with them again. And two, just two. Like, yeah. But I'm like, am I a monster? Am I crazy? But obviously that first one, no. Right? We were in the right. Oh my God, bitch. Neither of us said no. But like I just was like so incensed that I was like, do I need to just check myself? But I was like, no. But I think as well, like we're in our 30s. Yeah.

Like we've worked, we've been working for like 15 years at this point more. Yeah. Like, you know what is acceptable and what isn't. And like who has the time for that anymore? I also just think it's like yeah, remember that you're the diva. Like I think it's like there's an acceptable amount of the diva that a drag queen is like the reason we don't have like money being paid into our superannuation. The reason work is infrequent and we're poor a lot of the time.

The reason we have to put up with wearing stiletto heels and have our face caked in grease paint. The reason that we have sequins digging into our armpits is so that we get to be the fucking diva. Don't treat me like I'm a fucking shift worker. I'm a diva cunt bitch. How dare you? I'm better than you. I am wearing lashes and rhinestones and glitter.

I am fucking better than you and your top bun. How dare you? Seafoam top bun. Yeah. Well, yeah. Right? It happens all over. It's just not in.

As far as in general, I think. That's it. And it's over. It's just in general, I think. That's it. And it's like, I just, it's unacceptable to be honest. I guess. I think, I think what you can take away from it is that if you are listening and you're putting on an event, think about the experience of your performers who are coming. Yeah.

So it does affect a lot. It can make or break a show. Really? And to be honest, it doesn't take much to impress me. It doesn't take much to impress any performer. I think it's like, if you like, you know, I have been in a gutter with a hand mirror propped up against a fly lamp and being like, but they gave me free drinks all night. They were watered down whiskey sodas, but goddamn, that was the best time. You know what it's like? Yeah. We don't expect much, but just to be treated like

we're fucking gods. Yeah. But it's also like drag or like performers, really. It's like this is it's all about entertainment and fun. Yes. So if you're working in a bar or whatever and something that comes in that is only there to bring a good vibe, how could you not engage with that and be like, Hey, because that's fun for you too. Yeah. You too benefit from the fun being brought in. Bitch, I think unless I was a fucking five hour session of Call of Duty, this man would not be interested in me.

Well, you've analyzed his tax. If I was not a gamer chair with a fucking cup holder, he doesn't care, okay? Wow, he sounds kinda great. I... Do you know what? This man definitely runs a poker session with him and his close mates every two

weeks in his house. Oh no. Um... And he's a mixologist, I'm sure. I... Sorry. That's my name. I've been getting a lot of Ubers this week because I've been working out of my regular location on this project.

And not yesterday, but on Tuesday, my Uber driver at whatever o'clock in the morning was so hot. It was so good. His name was Ash. If you're listening, Ash, you were very hot. What did you do about it? Nothing. Zelda.

So we were. You said five years from now, we'll hook up. Yeah, pretty much. It was like a 50 minute car ride. And I'd say about half an hour in, I was like, like where we said nothing. Also, for 30 minutes you said nothing. Also, there is- For 30 minutes you said nothing. Well, I said, hi.

Yes. Yeah. But also there's heaps of roadworks outside my house at the moment. So it's just annoying timing to be getting Ubers because they come and then they're trapped and they can't turn around. And my house is on this big hill

and all the driveways are traps. So like you can't turn around and my house is on this big hill and all the driveways are traps so like you can't drive through and you have to do like a thousand point turn to get out. Yes. So by the time I'm in the car the Uber drivers already hate me because they've we've been in the car for three minutes before they can leave the street. Yeah. Anyway it was that so I had to like let that tension like simmer away. And then about 30 minutes later, I was like, so have you been working all night or have you just started? And then we started chit chatting. And he was like, he was a apprentice plumber

and had that kind of vibe. Like, you know how like some like Aussie on a straight boys, it is as if their hair is barbed wire that has just grown out of their head. And it's like a combination of like, not understanding what hygiene is and the ocean. And that- And the ocean.

Yeah, cause like their hair is like salty and matted and- Yeah. Yeah, it was that. It was so hot. And he like had like tacky hand tattoos that are like just hideous and like a faded shitty T-shirt, which was really hot and like cargo pants. And he was wearing like Oakley's, but like not ironically, like a baguette, just like because he thinks they're cool, which I thought was a little bit rude if I'm honest,

but there were points where he took them off and I got to see his beautiful blue eyes, which I really enjoyed. And yeah, we were just like chit chatting after I broke the ice. Um, Britney Spears and after the simmer down. Yeah. Yeah. And he was fine. He, he really came around. He let it down. Yeah. And he was fine. He really came around. He let it go. Yeah.

And then we, he was, we were talking about like, what pets do you have? And I was talking about like how I want to get a dog, but I need to like dog poop the fence. Oh my God. And he was saying how. Just did the whole podcast last week. Really with this guy, Ash. And then he was like, yeah, we just got two cats at home. We? We.

Is we here with us? We just got two cats at home. Anyway, him and his girlfriend got two cats at home. What does she got that you don't have? Right? A few things. But no, no, not important. What do you think her vibe is? I think she is like a hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot,. But no, no, no, no, no.

What do you think her vibe is? I think she is like a hot, yeah, like Bogan gal who's like, probably content to just like wait it out till he's making some money as a plumber. But she's also got her own things going on. Cause it was also early days. So it's not like they're like high school sweethearts. They have two cats together. Well, yeah.

It's a big step. But he lives in a share house with three other people. Oh. So, yeah. What are the cats' names? He didn't say. Did you? But I asked like, oh, what kind of cats are they?

And he was like, what? I was like, like what breed? And he's like, I don't know any cat breeds. That is fair. And I was like, well, what color are they? And he was like, what? I mean, they're like, I mean, they're not black. They're kind of, they have like bits of brown and kind of gray. It's like he's reading a Shakespearean love sonnet to you. And I was like, okay, like a, like a ginger cat, but darker colors.

He's like, yeah, kind of. And I was like, short hair or like fluffy, like a rag doll. God, Zelda, I want to kill myself. He was like, I don't know what a rag doll is. I'm right. No, but that's, you kill myself. He was like, I don't know what a ragdoll is. I'm right! No, but that's, you're the boring part of that conversation. Let it go, Adina Mazel. No, it was good.

Anyway, it was so good. And then, I don't know, I was kind of like, this is going so well. And then- Are you flirting with me? But sometimes like when you get an Uber, you know, like you can really have like like this wasn't an example of that But you can have like an actual good conversation with someone Yeah, and then you get to the destination and it's like, okay, bye. So we friends now or and then they're like, alright, thanks Bye, and then you get out. Yeah onto their next fair. Yeah, you're just another rent a friend for half an hour

That's right. Well 50 minutes. That's a long time. You guys want a road trip a friend for half an hour. That's right. Well, 50 minutes. That's a long time. You guys went on a road trip together. But do you know what? What? I don't know if... You gave him one star. My...

The tap in my kitchen has started to drip. Same with the tap in my wig. And after he said he was a plumber, I was like, the tap in my house is starting to drip. He said, oh. And he was like, oh, well. Good luck with that. He messaged the landlord. I was like, no, I suppose I should do that.

I just don't know how those things really work. I don't know. I don't really know anyone that knows about plumbing. I don't like getting my delicate hands dirty. I mean, if I only knew someone who knew about plumbing. Anyway. Lazy. Lazy did her tap last week.

The point was I was trying to seduce this straight person. I know, but you can just call lazy next time. You want to seduce lazy. I want to seduce Lazy. I want to seduce Ash. You don't have glasses with Chardonnay and ice in them so you can seduce me. So anyway, that is that. Now whose apocalypse is it this week? Um, I think it's... I killed everyone with Victorian terraces last week so it's... Yes. Zelda Moon. Yeah. What apocalypse would you like to see happen this week? Can I tell you this week?

I'm just going to set the planet on fire. That's great. We haven't had that yet. The whole fucking planet just set it on fire. But what starts the fire? I click my fingers and the planet engulfs in flames. Just a single spark. Just a single spark from your nails.

It's just fueled by rage. Not by like a gas or something. Yeah, that's perfect. I think that's good. That's good. I think it roasts for about three minutes and then it's done. Perfect. It was ready to go.

Yeah. And with that... Meh, meh, meh, meh. To love, to love, to love, to every one. To entry world.

Welcome back, my listeners. Oh, it's so nice. I hope you're sitting by an open fire, listening to us while you're with your family who have taken you camping. And the world is on fire, sir. Yes. You will be. Soon we'll all be sitting by open fires. Yes.

The greatest open fire of all. The entire planet. A burning inferno in which none of us will escape. Oh, I like that. Do you like the idea of someone turning your body into a diamond ring? You know what? With your ashes. You know what?

Oh, with your ashes. Yeah, you didn't provide context for that. I assume every person is constantly thinking about how they turn people's bodies into diamonds. You know what? Oh yeah. I've been watching a lot of gem cutting videos lately. And it's so interesting. You said interesting, but you meant to say it was boring.

No, because like those, like, sorry, everyone, ladies just loudly taking off her clogs. Yeah, the like facets on gems. There's just so many. And depending on how you do it, they can look so different. And now that I have this like maybe like collectively, like five hours of exposure to the genre. Oh, it's just like, it's a wild ride and it's so nothing. Yeah. Like I imagine like when, you know, like when we didn't have like, I don't know,

like modern advances and like modern lives, you know, like electricity, I guess. Yes. Like people were more entranced by gems and jewels. Well, that's it. And, but it's just interesting that that has continued because like the internet is more astounding than a princess cut. Absolutely. And yeah, like it remains.

Well, also like I would argue like an iPhone has more precision cutting and organization of intricate elements than any like Swiss wash or diamond. Yeah. And there's actually diamonds inside of iPhones. Yes, right. But yeah. Yeah. And also like, oh, I love that like different like iron levels in the like gem or whatever

is like what dictates the color and they're all actually the same thing and blah, blah, blah. And it's like a ruby is just a blah, blah, but this kind of formulation, that is so interesting because no one cares. They're just like, oh, like turquoise is the April gemstone or whatever the fuck. Yeah. And I hate that. It's like, oh, you know that, but you don't know like.

Who are you having an argument with? I love gemstones and I hate that you're degrading them by making them months. Yeah. Birth years. Why? That's not even astrology related. Yeah, but it's so stupid. Why?

Is that what the first topic is? Which gemstone? No, but maybe it should be. No, not at all. The first topic is which type of sleep it was going in the bunker. Which type of what? Which type of sleep? Matt, sleep.

Sleep. What is that? What type of sleep? Eight hours? Oh, right. You're getting a nana nap? You've never gotten eight hours. No.

Zelda, how long have you been a terrible sleeper? Like a very long time. Like when you were 18, were you a bad sleeper? Yeah. When you were 15, were you a bad sleeper? Yeah. When you were 15, were you a bad sleeper? Yeah. I'd say like from teenage years onwards. I think you actually have like an issue.

Yeah. This podcast has just been an intervention, just a couple of years in the making. Zelda like has a lot of like, just will be up late. You're a late girl. Yeah. Yeah. I like staying up late, up late. You're a late girl. Yeah. Yeah. I like staying up late, but then I, for 11 years now I've worked jobs that like I always start at 7 AM if not earlier.

Maybe it's the job that's the issue. You just need to start doing night shifts. No, no, I just don't need a job. I would, I dare to dream. Yeah. But I also like being up in the morning, but it just leaves there no time to sleep because I stay up late and I get up early. So then when do you sleep?

But sleep is like, I'm fine. And there's so much life to live. I got things to do. There's not enough hours in the day. I can't spend more, more of them unconscious. Have you got that thing where you, where you quite like you want to get stuff done at nighttime or you just like relaxing and just staying in your Zen zone? I think I feel like if I go to sleep, I won't be doing anything. I'll be asleep.

So it's like even like non-important things. It's like, I want to watch another couple of videos. Like I don't want to go to sleep. I want to see something. Well, potentially. So many videos and only one me. I will like start, like it's not necessarily important things all like this week where it's like

every minute is just like jam packed. And it's like, I can't get a bed at nine o'clock. I have too many actual things to do. Sometimes I stay up late because it's like, I can't get a bed at nine o'clock. I have too many actual things to do. Sometimes I stay up late, um, because it's kind of like a time when no one really expects anything of you. Do you mean it's like classic introvert thing or potentially it's like a procrastination thing. It's like throughout the day, I just, I'm like kind of putting off doing things, don't do much. And then I get like this burst of energy after dinner. Cause I'm like, everyone else is going to sleep so I can do what I like.

Yeah. That is why I like late night. Um, I think- So nice doing things at night and like everyone else is winding down and you're like gearing up. Well, no one tells you this about living with a partner, but like... You got to go to bed together? Well, yeah. And like we'll be like having dinner and we're like,

let's watch an episode of this. I'm like, yeah, let's start. And then we put on the episode. And then after that episode, we might watch another episode. And then he's like, that was a good two episodes of television. Now let's go to bed. And I was like, but we meant to watch eight episodes. How are we going to get through many seasons of this show in one week where we binge and show no responsibility towards our own sleep hygiene? And then at six or seven in the morning, he'll be like, time to wake up. And I'll be like, are you sick?

We're sleeping until 10. Like, why are you opening the curtain? Those are there to keep out the light. Anyway. Yeah, my partner's like that too. I want to stay up all night watching a show and just be little grubs and then not wake up ever, really. I think she likes to get going because she feels really groggy if she sleeps in too long.

Yeah, weak. Try harder. One of, like, two things there. One, I remember my, like, second boyfriend, because we lived quite close, we would spend a lot of time together and probably, like, two nights a week to stay at mine, two nights a week to stay at mine two nights a week and stay at his and like this is nothing against him but it would always be like when I had nights at his house it was like those nights were write-offs right there was no sleeping happening then oh no no

I just like my life like I'm not doing my you know in your zone I'm not doing like my admin or like rehearsing for a show or like putting something together or doing like my relaxation. Fiddle faddle, yeah. Of playing a video game or something. It's like, that's all just like great time but not like my time.

Yes. Like God, I hated that. Yeah. So like, I do think about that sometimes when Like living with a partner in the future of like because your schedules kind of have to align Otherwise what you just never do anything together sure So it's like what recreation and like split time is at the same time and then you have dinner at the same time So you're back together all that stuff like that's a lot to negotiate. Well, I think we'll see. Yeah, that's the thing.

I think we're gonna have to see how to play this. Hopefully I can just corrupt him and be like, let's watch all of this. But he's also not much of a TV gal. He's not a binger. Yeah. But what I do love and like, I love when you wake up in the morning with someone, um,

and then you don't have to get up. Yeah. Like this morning, um, like that person stayed over last night. Winky, winky. Uber driver. No, if only. No, way better. I'm going to need confirmation as to whether this person is listening to the podcast.

The one I'm not saying the name of? Yeah. I don't think he's listened. Oh, great. Yeah. Excellent. Oh my God. Um, although last night he was talking about a podcast that he does listen to.

And I was like, Oh, so you do know how podcasts work. What podcast does he listen to? It was some stupid podcast. Wasn't Girls Next Level, that's for sure. Yeah. There's only two. Yeah. It wasn't Girls Next Level, that's for sure. Yeah, there's only two.

Yeah. And yeah, waking up this morning, it was so like, there he was, sleeping in, and I had to get up and have a shower and then leave to go to work. You left him in your house with all your many objects that you treasure? Yes.

Yeah, oh, he stays there all the time. All the time now. Except your heart. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, it's right there. Either take it or crush it. No, not the last one. Anyway, that's a great thing about sleep.

You know, like, but also like when you both have nothing on and you can just kind of like roll around and then like have sex and then roll around and then watch YouTube video and then have sex and then it's one o'clock in the afternoon. I miss that. I think my best sleep time is actually kind of like that where I wake up because I think I read somewhere that you get like a big surge of cortisol, like in the morning to get you going. And usually around like six, six AM, five or six AM. So sometimes I wake up like, you know, it's like six AM. And then I'm like kind of awake for like half an hour or so. And somehow I like calm myself back down and go back to sleep until like nine o'clock.

And that period of time, that's really good sleep. Cause it's like a sleep in and you don't have to get up, you know, cause I can only do that when I don't have to get up. That's really nice. That is good. That is good. It's like more restful than the rest of the night. Sometimes I hate an afternoon nap.

I really hate it, but I also really am jealous of people that can do it. Yeah. Sometimes I really need it, but I'm just like, I don't know. I don't think I want to. I, it's like vomiting. I, yeah, I've taken afternoon naps and they've been some of the best moments of my life. And then I'm like, I can never do that again.

Yeah, no. I don't want to. Please don't make me. But it's just, yeah, it's like so much happening and I've already gotten into gear for the day. But an afternoon nap that rolls in and then you like come wake up in the night and you're like, let's go girls. Dun, dun, dun, dun.

You know what I mean? Like that's fucking lit. Having all your energy restored. Yeah. It's bad when you wake up and you're like sweaty and you've got like dry mouth and you're like, oh. When you fall asleep in a nap, like a situation, but you're clothed and then you wake up really, really hot

because you weren't like properly prepared for the sleep session. Yes. I hate that. I feel like I'm in like a movie, like I'm like Jennifer Connelly in Labyrinth. And I'm like, goodbye. Like, wow, I'm so glamorous. Um, but I hate when you wake up and it's like 10 o'clock at night. You're like, what?

That sleep was too long. That's not a nap. And now it's bleeding into the rest of my sleep time. Yeah, then you've ruined it. Although I do sometimes, like when I do have a nap, say you have a nap for like two hours, like, well, that's two extra hours I can stay up because today I've now had this much sleep.

Is that how it works? Yeah. That's how it works. That's the caveman, you know, thing of like, we used to sleep in three hour blocks. Ah. Yeah. Between hour blocks. Yeah. Between the hunt. Yeah. Like Einstein.

Sure. Didn't he sleep like that? And like many, um, like that woman at the hospital today. No, she'd never slept. She hasn't slept for years. Since before her last vomit, she felt she wasn't slept for years. She also never vomited. Since before her last vomit, she felt she wasn't slept since before. Oh, sorry. This cough is not going anywhere.

Back to the ER. I spoke to my doctor but he's like, you're fine. Jesus. I'm coughing up. Do you have an eye update? Eye update. Every time I do my makeup, my eyes hurt a little bit. Oh, sad.

They're itchy all the time. Can you say that? A listener did send me some eye care products, which was very sweet. And one of them is this eye mask that heats up as soon as it's exposed to oxygen. And so it's this warming eye mask. I really wish I had the brand or the name of the listener who sent this to me, like to hand, but I don't. But it was incredible.

And you just lie there in the darkness with this eye mask on that's like microwaving your eyes. And you're like, your self care routines are kind of funny. I don't really do like, I kind of can't trick myself into doing like a lot of self care. Cause it has to be like interesting every time. And if it isn't, it's not going to happen. So it's like only new experiences. Well, brushing and flossing is probably the, the, where I have like that and

sunscreen are like the three things that I can do regularly. Like that I've managed to like really Institute as routine. Nothing else has managed to enter into routine. Laundry once a quarter. That has been challenged. We got a new laundry machine. True. Yeah, your house.

Yeah. Laundry machine. Yeah. It's inside the house. The. On your machine. Yeah. It's inside the house. The all-in-one washer and dryer. That's right. It's not like the old one, that like, ridge pan.

The washboard. That would go down to the Mary Creek and scrub and sing our songs. Yeah. Oh guys, sleep. Here's my pitch. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Oh guys, sleep. Here's my pitch. OK. We put in a incredible sleep paralysis demon. Oh, that's good.

Like Reese Nicholson. Perhaps. I mean, they have to have red hair. What did Vibe say in the latest episode? My slender them? Yes. Like some haunted. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? I can't tell if I have or if I've just watched a movie about it and then be like, oh yeah, that happened to me. Like, I don't know if I can answer that truthfully. I actually can't

tell anymore. Well, it sounds like you haven't. Yeah. I've definitely had moments of like waking up, like being awake but I can't move. Yeah. Yeah, but I haven't seen a demon. I have like... In that situation. Quite a lot of stress, like sleepwalking events, stress related. Because I used to sleepwalk a lot. Yeah.

As a kid it was like chronic sleepwalking, that's why I couldn't be in the top bunks of bunk beds because I actually fell out quite a few times. Um, and kept sleep literally. One of the times I fell out and they came in and I was asleep face down on the floor because they just had this giant thump. And then they were like, and like one time I was sleepwalking and my friend Cameron's house fell down two flights of stairs, but during drag race. No lasting damage though.

No, well, yeah, obviously there was. Um, but while I was in the hotel room on drag race, I kept thinking that it was time to get up. Like, oh, it's time to get up. But it would only be like three in the morning or two in the morning. And so I'd be in this darkened hotel room and this happened twice. I would like put on all my clothes for the day. Like one time I put on tights and then put on my jeans. Full drag.

Yeah. I put on tights and then put on my jeans. Full drag. Yeah. And I was sat on the edge of my bed, like smiling, because I was like, oh, they've left me here with just the camera to record my scene.

And I looked forward and there was just the red light of the camera filming me. And I was just sitting on the edge of the bed in full darkness in my clothes smiling and then I woke up and realized I was just looking at the light of the television in my sleep and it was so scary and I really freaked myself out because I was like... I'm freaked myself out because I was like... Don't freak out. It was so... Like imagine walking in on that scene. Why haven't you forced the hotel to release the security camera footage yet?

You don't tend to have security footage filming the beds of the patrons. Oh, well, cowards. But then the last time that it happened was once we got back and we'd been filming all the looks of Drag Race and I had that prosthetic mask that they'd made of me for the two-in-one look and I had it on my bedside table for some reason. And in my dream-

In bed with you on the next pillow. Well, it was kind of at bed level because it was on the bedside table. And I got, in my dream, I was looking down at my own face and I was staring at it. And I was grabbing for the eyes of the face and then pulling off my eyelashes one by one. And when I woke up, I had the prosthetic mask in my lap and I was pulling off the false lashes in like, and like, and when I woke up, I was like staring at my face.

God, that is haunting. It was so scary. Yeah. So I'll have like a lot of like waking dream like that, where I'm like, I'm moving around the space if I'm really stressed. Is sleep paralysis like, are you awake when you have sleep paralysis? You feel, you're awake, but you can't move. Yeah.

So it's not really a sleep. It's your sleep. Well, you're, you're, you're still asleep because you'll be... You're conscious, but your body is not. Yeah. You sleep still. Yeah. Right.

So you can't move and like... So that's how people are going to sleep all night. In the bunker. Hmm. But yeah, the classic thing is that you going to sleep all night in the bunker. Hmm. But yeah, the classic thing is that you are like paralyzed, you can't move. And for some fucked up reason, it always like is paired with this like doom feeling often manifested in like a haunted shape or like a demonic shape or whatever. In the room staring at you and you can't do anything or like your own face, your own demon face. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Don't get,

don't have repercure re recreations of your face in your room. Photos. No, I wouldn't. In your room. Photos? No, I wouldn't. Photos of yourself. I wouldn't. I wouldn't. Um, I sleep-

I do think about family photos and like how vain. I have this- To like go through the hall and be like, there I am on that event and here I am on that event. And as a child it felt so normal, but now like if I put a photo of myself up on the wall, that's weird. But it's quite fab. When you have the wall, that's weird. But it's quite... When you have a family, it's nice. Oh, I guess that is nice.

I guess you're doing the rest. Wow. Yeah. No, no, no. When you have a... Oh, no, no, no. So, you know how you don't? You wake up alone in your cold bed every morning to go to your work. After watching your nail, your gem videos for the ring, you will never receive.

No, I don't actually personally like them either. But I can see how people with a family might like to have pictures of their children and them with their children up or whatever. I have this, there's this photo of my mother that is like, my dad is like, he's a very talented man in many other ways, but a photographer he is not. And particularly in the nineties, before you could get photos like straight away, like on a digital camera, you'd know whether you needed to retake it. He would take some of the most haunted fucking... And he takes terrible photos of people.

He never looked more ugly than when it's been photographed by my father. Sorry, dad. But he took this photo of my mom that is haunted in like, like many years ago when they were on holiday together. And she's in this red room, like the like lounge room of the beach house. Oh yeah. And they, it's like they, we'd painted the inside of it blood red for some reason. And it was a patchy.

It was shining and you thought, oh, that's good. It was, I mean, it's so chic. I love how fucking terrifying it was, but it was really patchy job as well. So when the flash hit it, you could see this like patchy mishmash, blood red wall with this like disgusting blood red tablecloth. And then my mother is eating pasta like from the plate that's like far too far away from her. So she's kind of like reaching out to grab it, with her mouth agape, and then like home brand salt in front of her, and home brand cheese, and she's like staring up at the camera as if she's about to like die. It is the worst photo of anyone that has ever been taken. And I found it and I was like, mom, what the fuck is this? And she was like, don't, your father took it by the bar.

And I was like, can I please have it? Because I was like, this would be so funny to have in a frame and to keep on your shelf. And so I was like, I just think this is like, if you frame ugly pictures of your loved ones, like that's quite funny. Yeah, I like that. And so I put it in the most like intricate little ornate frame and put it on my mantle for all

time because I think it's like a David Lynch looking horror photo. And then when my mom died, I was like, well, this is a photo that I have of her, but it's also so rude, but it's also exactly the sense of humor of making fun of her that like we definitely would have done while she was alive. So I was like, it's good memory, but it's so funny now because it's this photo that I have on my mantle in my room. And when people see it, I'm like, that's her. And it's like her looking like, I look at it and I miss her every day.

It's so true though. I have such a warm spot in my heart for this photo that somehow represents our relationship. So you've got that one on one table and then your mask on the other side. Yes. Wow. Oh, that sounds like a nice restful place. So what about sleep the gunk in your eyes? Oh.

What the fuck is that? Dried mucus? I hate it. And you know when you get up in the morning and you don Dried mucus? I hate it. And you know when you get up in the morning and you don't attend to it? Yeah. And then you're like two hours into your work day and you're like, oh, let me just get this crust from my inner eye. Sometimes they can be quite sharp.

Yes. Pebbles. Yes. Pigeon, like, you know, birds, how they get those things come out of their like, like nose cavities? No. Like stones? I don't know that I get those things come out of their, like, like nose cavities? No. Like stones? I don't know that I want to hear any more of that story.

We're talking about sleep, all right? Sleep. Not nose stones. When we get to which nose stone gets in. What about Sleep No More, the long running theatre show in New York? What's that? Matt, what is happening with the lighting right now? I'm sorry, I just can't proceed with- I know it's mixed. I tried to change it, but it's- It's mixed. What's that? Matt, what is happening with the lighting right now? I'm sorry, I just can't proceed with-

I know it's mixed. I tried to change it, but it's mixed. That one's not working. What's this down light? What are you spot lighting on? It's focused right in my eyes. I can't change it. You know that she has keratoconus. I have keratoconus.

I have Kerimeligan. And if we put some more facets on that, it'll really reflect nicely. Listen, I'd love to have my eyes cut with various facets. Thank you. Oh, now we're just in the dark. I don't know why we haven't been doing this for years. A version of my face and I'll rip the eyelashes out. I'm just going to have a little sleep. Oh, yeah.

Sleep, the theme of the episode. Well. What do you think about cartoon sleep? Like where they have like the hat and they like have a feather wavering above their mouth as they chew. Showing the snoring. Or old timey nightgowns.

I love old timey nightgowns. A single candle. We already have that in the bunker. We do. We have an oil lamp. Yeah. An old timey oil lamp. That sleeping cap. In practical that in the bunker. We do. We have an oil lamp. Yeah. An old timey oil lamp. That sleeping cap?

In practical that would come off. But the nightgown I had and probably wore from like age 13 to 15. Maybe 10 to 13. Let's go 10 to 13. I mean both are bad. Oh. But yeah, I didn't even know where we got it from. This like long kind of jersey.

It was your mother's probably. No, it was like a men's one. It was kind of like seventies and I had like, you know like a seventies t-shirt that's like a solid color with like a different color rib? Yeah. It was that. It was like white with a navy red.

But it went to your feet. Well, it went to like mid calf. Okay. Yeah. I really like that. It's a good look. Yeah, like very Rosie O'Donnell in Slee. Okay. Yeah. I really like that. It's a good look. Yeah, like very Rosie O'Donnell in Sleepless in Seattle.

Like, she would wear that. What do you think about those sleep cryo sleep pods from Alien? Oh, I do like it. Like, wake up in 50,000 years when we get to our location. I like that a lot. But wouldn't that freak you out even more than you're like, I haven't had any time to watch my shows. There's something, you know how Ripley wakes up and everyone she has ever known is dead?

Yeah. I like, that ain't half bad. You think you would be okay with that? Imagine how, like, you would be free of every... I don't know that I should be. Like, I... Oh my God. You want everyone you know to die. No friends, no family. Then you're just free.

You can just be whoever you want. No one's ever going to message you and be like, Hey, do you want to do this? Hey, it's Christmas, we're going to do this. None of that. And you're just spending the rest of your life watching gemstone videos. Gone. And if any children of children of children remain, set them on fire. Because imagine you be so free. You're free of responsibility now.

You just have to acknowledge that power that you have to say no. No. You know? No. And also immediately, what does Ripley do? Go and get herself a surrogate daughter. No. And know? No. And also immediately, what does Ripley do? Go and get herself a surrogate daughter? No. And a cat?

Do you know, um, there's a Stephen King short story about like flights to planet Mars. And like it, the whole story takes place with like a dad and a mom and they're like young son who's like six or seven. And then they're like, what, so tell me how do we get to Mars? And he's like, well, for you, it'll feel like it's an almost instantaneous trip because they put us to sleep and blah, blah, blah. So his dad is explaining the whole story of how they developed this flight to Mars that keeps you, even though it takes like years to get there.

Yeah. Or maybe it's like a more distant planet than Mars. Anyway, it takes years to get there, but for you, it'll feel instantaneous, like even though it's like 80 or 90 years away, whatever. Yeah. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But like you just, like they put us to sleep. Anyway, the whole story goes along and then the kid

is like really curious and he's like, well, what happens if you don't take the sleeping thing that the nurse gives you? And he's like, well, that's part of it, but we just make sure that you do that. And then the father, you know, the nurse goes around like all the flight attendant goes around and gives them all their pills. And then well, because she's like, they're all in the spaceship. And then they put the pill in their mouth and then the kid takes his out because he put it under his tongue. And then the fight begins and then everyone goes to sleep and then cuts to, the father

wakes up and he looks to his right and there's this grizzled old man. And he's like, it's longer than you think. And who is that man? Pedophile came in. He ate the boy? Aliens that could look like old man. Gnarly. Yeah.

That's cool. Yeah. Those sleep pods are hot. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah. Those sleep pods are hot. Yeah. That's fair. And I love when they come up and they go, and there's like, they're full of water. And it's like, Oh, that's different, but that's cool. That's very matrix.

True matrix sleep pod. I think I'm thinking of interstellar. There's interstellar sleep pods. No one's thinking of interstellar. No, but that's the picture I had in my head. Do you know what I mean? And like they fill up with water and there's like a cloth across their face. Oh dear.

Ooh, it's very like claustrophobic. Hmm. Um, the sleep machines in the cell where you're like going into someone else's subconscious. Yeah, I like that. That's hot. That's so hot. I think my dream sleep is like a afternoon. I know we talked about naps,

but I'm talking about holiday naps now. Like we've been day drinking and there's like maybe a wind chime somewhere in the distance and like a breeze that is coming off the ocean and like flowing in through the wafting curtains of the like holiday house you're staying in. And you're like lying there,

like bathed in kind of an afternoon sun, but it's like a diffuse light. And the third gin and tonic is like hitting, but you can hear like people puttering around the house, listening to music and like the thrum of their like conversation is like warm, but muffled enough that you're not getting caught in what they're saying. You slowly like drift off to sleep and then you wake up just in time for like another

drink and like the night activities. Yeah. I'm just imagining like your perspective of that and then cutting to like someone else's perspective in the party and you're just like, bottle of gin in your arm. Pulling eyelashes off a melon from the fruit bar. Oh, you're asleep. Yeah.

Yeah. That's a nice sleep. Yeah, that's a pretty good sleep. So is that the sleep? How would that go in the bunker though? Murphy bed, but with like a wind machine playing the smell of the ocean and muffle talking. The salt flats. And like, uh, like before everyone goes to sleep, they get a gin and tonic. Drink up.

You're gonna have the best sleep of your life. I mean, oh, now all of a sudden there's so many great options. Yeah. I think obviously like a healthy there's so many great options. Yeah. I think obviously like a healthy, healthy sleep cycle is not going in. I don't think that it's... I don't think anyone deserves that. Although like I really notice if I don't get my full eight hours, I need my time to sleep. It's probably very good.

I'm going to live forever if I didn't drink so much. You know what I hate, hate, hate is when you're a child. Yeah. And daylight savings come around and your bedtime is still 730, even though it's sun for another hour. I don't know that my parents stuck around that the bedtime shit too long. Are they strict on yours? Yeah.

Well, that's why you can't sleep now. You've got too much PTSD from it. Yeah. Yeah, they're like, I'll sleep when I'm ready. Sleep is not a punishment. But also like, I mean, in like now, sundown is like nine o'clock or whatever. The kids gotta be asleep by now.

The way we used to do it is, if you couldn't sleep, you were allowed to listen to a book on tape for as long as you wanted. And you didn't have to get up, you just had to lie down and like rest. This is one thing my mom always said. And then if you couldn't sleep beyond that, you would get like a little snack, like some apples and cheese and crackers.

Who would prepare the snack? My mom. Oh, you can have this. But it's also because my dad would listen to like movies, like he'd be watching movies, like late into the night, as soon as we went to bed, but like really loud. So they would echo through the entire house. So I went to sleep. Yeah.

Like listening to the sound of like X-Files. Well that too. Yeah. And that like old like blockbuster home video ratings advice. It's on every video. How? You got that too. And you're listening to Truth or AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH SH.

That little kid. Cover his eyes. Get him out of here. Actually, which of those people get to? Yeah. Cover his eyes. Yeah. Get him out of here. There was like a honey thing in there. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be back. So hot. Yeah.

Is honey hot? Yes. You know who's hot? Sarah Connor. Yeah. She's so hot. Yeah. Imagine looking good in white.

Yeah. I just... Yeah. I actually can't imagine it. I can't imagine it. No, that's our new year thing. Yeah. 2025. White? White.

Next year we're really going to focus on white. Year of the white. You heard it here first folks. We're leaning in. Okay. Tank top with tank tops, tank tops and the future robots coming to kill us. Okay. Sleep paralysis demon does sound good.

Um, uh, if it can be holding a bottle of gym and blowing like a sea breeze. Yeah, that's hard. That's a perfect compromise. And like muffled conversation is coming out of it. Yeah, well it has... But it has no discernible mouth. Oh no, but it has multiple voice boxes. And it sounds like all your loved ones cooking and getting ready in the afternoon. Yes. So it's like a nice place to fall asleep, but you have a huge impending sense of doom and dread.

Yeah. Or because you're lying there and you want to enjoy the gin, but all you can see is a fucking demon. I understand that. That sounds like your loved ones. Maybe the only way that you can fall asleep is if you finish like at least half the bottle. Yeah. I think that's fair.

Three quarters maybe? Yeah. The more you drink the longer you sleep. There's always a spirit that accompanies the summer. Like, um, gin has been a big contender in the past, but I wonder what my like spirit du jour for this Christmas is going to be. Limoncello. Mmm, too sweet.

Oh, I see. I need a more diffuse. Oh, what about Sambuca? No, I can't. Why are those bottles like that? Come on. You're crazy. Like get it together.

That is insane. Insane. But like sometimes like if you were Sambuca. Yeah. Sambuca like the pyramid. It's like the licorice. It's like that. Oh, it's like a, it's like a cone.

Isn't it? Yeah. It's like a horn. Yeah. Oh, but if you were Sambuca, you're doing everything you can to try and disguise the fact that you're Sambuca. True. Like, look at the bottle.

Don't focus on the fact that I'm terrifying. It's actually delicious, but you've got to really like chill. My summer drink for a while was Frangelico and Lime. Oh, yes. Frangelico and lime. Oh, yes. Frangelico and lime and soda. How did I forget about Frangelico and lime? That's so good. I did have that summer.

I think I'm ready to go back there. Frangelico and lime. Yum. So good. With some soda, just to space it out a little bit. And a couple of ice blocks or whatever. A couple, honey. Yes.

Drop them in. Just put them in. We're having a great time. It's just such a nice summer drink. That is delicious. And the lime has to be fresh. Oh, yes. Citrus, you know, you really want to...

Have you tried this? I mean, I have had it many moons ago, yeah. Well, that's it. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it in my mouth. I'm going to go ahead and put it you tried this? I mean, I have had it many moons ago, yeah.

Well, that's it. Frangelico and lime is in the bunker. Oh my God. Wait, was that what we were talking about? And with that, we'll be right back. Jajahal. Welcome back, everyone. Hello.

I'm Kakariko. Welcome back everyone. Hello. I'm cut here. No, not here. Suleyngor, sorry. We're back. Yeah. And I'm cut here.

No, that's fine. We're trying this new thing, listener. I'm sure it'll make it in. Welcome back. Hello, listener. And our second topic for discussion today is of course Which hand gesture will make it into the bunker? Or peace sign lazy. Oh lazy turn a peace sign into a fuck you. Yeah. Do you know where that comes from? No

It's like a it's an old I think the English used to do it to the French because when they would capture their bowmen I think the English used to do it to the French because when they would capture their bowmen who like, you know, use these two fingers, the peace sign fingers to, to pull back their bows, to fire arrows, they would chop off those fingers. And so as a taunting, they would put those two fingers up at them and as if to say, look, I still have fingers. Yo, yo guys, don't. Yeah. Wow. Thanks. Horrible histories for that one. God. Yeah. Thanks. Horrible histories for that one. God. Yeah. Okay. So we have got the, um,

A-okay symbol, which has been taken over by the old right. Has it really? Yeah. White, white, white supremacy. Yeah. That's the hand gesture of 2025. Jesus. Okay. What do you think about the middle finger? I love middle finger.

I have stipulations though think about the middle finger? I love middle finger. I have stipulations though with the middle finger. Okay. So like, you know, the way I normally do it is the lame way. Right? Do you see that? Yeah, the fingers are all the way down. And like your... The knuckles are further down. But when a hot gal does it, like a Rose McGowan, she will just have the index finger and the...

That's harder to do, but also looks lazier.... the pointer finger looks like midway. And then the thing is just pointing up and the whole hand is quite huge. And there's just like a little point. I feel like my hand is about to cramp. Yes, but it's so hot looking. Eat it. I love like rock chick. Rock chick is so your middle finger's down, two pointer fingers up.

Pinky and pointer. Devil horns. And then if you put the thumb out, that's I love you? Oh, I don't know, but I love thumb out. I'm always thumb out. Thumb out is I love you in Auslan. This is a bit too like, oh no, I do like that too. That's like the devil horns.

I think that's what it is. That is like actual rock chick is devil horns. Oh, okay. Well, I like that too, but this I think is really funny because it's been like, I love you. You need to tell them what you're doing. I love like, oh, so my, my, my pinky is erect. My index up, ring, middle down, and then thumb as far out, kicking out, like

Elaine to the side as possible. Like Ken Brock. Yeah. Um, I did that to the Metallica guy the other day and I thought he thought it was quite funny. Which Metallica, from Metallica? No, just someone who had a big beard at a gig. What do you think about putting just your pinky up at a guy and being like,

you know, dick, a little pin dick. Yeah, I mean that's. And then you wiggle it. Uh, you know, dick, and then you wiggle it. You little pin dick. You like that? What does that mean? Is that like humiliate? Yeah.

You say like, and were you with Steve last night? And then you might put up your hand in a like suggestive way and be like, no, he wasn't all there. And then you wiggle that little finger, like it's his tiny little prick. You get a little pin dick, Steve. Like that. Well, I'm not a sides queen, so I wouldn't really make fun of someone's physical body, actually. What about if it was the nineties and you were a hot slut?

Well, then obviously yes, I'd be all for it. I mean, that's it. I couldn't agree with you more, but if it was the nineties and I was a hot gal with regrowth and a pink mini skirt, I would absolutely be like, don't want no short dick man. Wow. Yeah. So, I...

What about pointing when you're on stage as a drag queen? I love pointing. I also love saying nothing and just pointing at something. Let me know if you're learning to baby point. Wow. Teffy Murphy? Oh, yeah, fuck. Um, and... Um... Just quickly. Yeah. I'd like the trans community to know I support you and I do not support the harsh words of

Turfie Murphy. Yeah. I don't agree with transphobia unless you're mean to me. Unless it's about Asia Buffet, in which case I do not support the trans community. But Ella Wara, I support you. Luma, yeah, you're hot. And you could absolutely be the size queen. What does Asia you're against?

Well, she, what does she do to cross me recently? No, I don't know. I'm just trying to stop beef. Yeah, she's fine. Um, I love, um, like, I mean, I am Italian, so I do love the cliche because I have grown up around the cliche of my nonna and some other relatives, like, doing the Italian... What is it? Fingers together. Which is like...

Make a little bird beak. Fingers into your thumb. Yeah, a little bird beak and it's like a, a flick back towards. Accentuates your words. Yeah. I like that. I also love, um. And that, that one is like an extension of the, the chef's kiss as well. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Like that's like, I feel like that's an Italian. I'm, I'm, I'm less hard on that. I'm just saying that that's related. Yeah. It's in the same family. Well, I think that's quite telling about the things you prefer to do in life. You don't like to compliment someone else's meal, but you will say, what is this?

Yeah. What the fuck is happening here? I get the gubbagool. I like that. I also love just like a hand up. Stop. Stop right now. Thank you very much. You're doing fingers splayed out, not together as like a stop sign. No, I don't want it to be together. It sounds like you don't have the murder skills to do it.

But I feel like that's more of a slap. Stop! Like I'm going to slap you with this closed finger. I think you can close the top fingers, but just put your thumb out. You know what? I'm always preparing for a bear attack and what you need to do in that circumstance is make yourself as big as possible. No small is possible.

So my hand, I want to fight the bear. My fingers being splayed out. I'm like, look at how big I am. Just stop. But it looks a bit like weak. It's a bit like cheerleader. No. Not like Buffy.

She's strong. But she was also a cheerleader. She had to give it up because her slang got in the way. What do you think about a single index finger raised? I go, no, no, no. I love a little wiggle note. Oh, you're doing a wiggle, not a full hand tilt. No, I just want to wiggle the finger.

Wiggle the finger. You'd call that naughty naughty. Oh, wouldn't you? You're so right. But now you've ruined it. What else would you call it? Naughty. I'd say no.

I'd say no, no. No. Oh, okay. Yeah. I wouldn't say naughty. Naughty naughty. I say no, no, no. And I do the finger to my daughter sometimes.

No, no, no. No, no, no. And then now she says it to me. She says no, no, no. When she knows she's doing something wrong. No, no, no. Stop. Stop.

No, no, no. When she knows she's doing something wrong. No, no, no. Stop. Stop. No, no, no. What about thumbs up? I mean, it's quite funny. I use that one a lot. I like thumbs up to a crowd because it's very like funny. Bam. It's very like not drag.

Do you like thumbs up everyone? Thumbs up. What about like fist up? Yeah, that's also funny. Like very like fist raised in the air, like we're Braveheart. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We also have, we're speaking of that general motion, the like, I don't know how we're gonna explain this one,

but the... Oh, the Tubbs, Barber hand gesture. Let me tell you how you're gonna explain this. Your hand starts flat facing your, um, your opponent. It is like in the stop position, fingers splayed. And then in a cascade fashion, your fingers draw in to a fist. Starting with the pinky. Starting with the pinky.

Shing. And then it spins towards you. Yeah. The thumb remains kind of out of the fist. And then by the end, the hand is, the back of the hand is now towards your opponent. Yeah. It's as if you've just like wrapped your hand around like a fabulous like draped cord in front of you. Yes.

Class. That's elegant. One finger touching it at a time. And then finally you're holding it whole. And you have a real good grip. Class. Elegant. One finger touching it at a time. And then finally you're holding it whole. And you have a real good grip. Yeah, ready to pull the rug out.

Yep. Amazing. Yep. And then, you're there. I actually did it on the first episode. Okay, so this hand gesture came to Zelda and I through Benign Girl, through her incredible employee, co-worker. Friend.

Ah, Tubbs Barber, who's one of Melbourne's best barbers, but also the best gal at a party. Very true. And she has this hand gesture, the pulling of the cord, hand gesture that has now taken, it is so in our consciousness that you can use it at any moment to accentuate your point. So you finish the sentence to be like, Oh, I saw Steve last night. And if you're listening to this, I just did the hand gesture. And when that obviously means like something went down with Steve last night.

But also you don't have to say anything and you can just do it. Yeah. And the person knows that something has happened. It's kind of like a hand gesture version of a raised brow. Yeah. And, but so I did it when I won the prize on the first episode of Drag Race. And it was almost like Michelle said, oh, you won. And I said, naturally, but with the hand. Yes, I did. You know, that's what the hand says.

And I think even though it's the one that people know least, that is the one that should be in the bunker. It is, but I do have one other contender because it is a hand gesture that has been imprinted in my mind since the year 2000. Shaka. Get out. I thought you were a beach bum, weren't you? Didn't you used to do the shaka?

No. Oh, sorry. Oh my God. I bet Ashwood though. Did you used to do the awkward turtle? I hate it here. In the year 2000, Final Fantasy X was released. And when you summon Shiva for the very first time, as we've all been wanting to do.

When you put in the settings to have the full cutscene play every time you summon her, which of course you do, she comes out. Shiva is a god of ice in the Final Fantasy universe and every Final Fantasy game is completely separate, right? So it has its own cast of characters, but there are things that are integral to making a Final Fantasy, which is usually like crystals and then summons and then a character called Sid and probably Chocobos and Moogles. There's like key things that in a game will make it Final Fantasy. Yeah, if it's not Chocobos and Moogles, then I don't know if we're playing the same game. And when other things are not Final Fantasy.

And Final Fantasy X, one of the greatest Final Fantasy games, is really centered around the summons or in that game, the Aeons. And Shiva has her best execution yet. She is this like half-glacier, half-woman. She's blue. She has this incredible hair that's filled with rings of metal and like she's wearing like a translucent cloth. I can't tell if you're describing a character from a game or like the new Drag Race promos.

And then Yuna, destined to save the world with her own sacrifice. Oh. She's tearing up. Gets to, um, um, summon Shiva and she does her little dance and Shiva begins to appear because she's on the battlefield. She's doing her thing. And then battlefield. Well, you're fighting, I don't know, like a blob or something. Okay.

Maybe like a zoo. Is she saving the world from a blob? Bitch. Sorry, you go on. Then it's time for Diamond Dust, her finishing move. And Shiva is blasting the fuck out of your opponent. The blob? Covering them in ice.

And it's like this hailstorm of like wind and covering them in ice. And it's like this hail storm of like wind and cold and hail. And the ice builds up around your enemy. And then Shiva takes pause. She steps forward. And she... Oh, you've just... Don't touch my phone. She opens up her arm and her wrist dangles forward.

And then with one flick of her wrist, she clicks and all of the ice shatters. And the enemy is destroyed, presumably. And it is the single greatest hand gesture of all time. This like limp wrist little fucking flick, click. Wait, so it's the hottest shit ever. Is it one fluid motion the flick comes? It's this. It's. Oh, that's good. It's so good. Like a Thanos kind of moment. Wow. That is probably like, well, it's not. Similar. There's been some good clicks in pop culture. And it's better than Thanos. It's better than Iron Man.

Shiva doesn't need to say anything. Just like Tubbs Barber. Well, she can't because she's not Iron Man. She's a Glacier woman. Yeah. Half Glacier woman. Anyway, it's good. But I agree.

It should be the rope pulling. OK. Yeah. Well, until... Yeah, it should be the rope pulling. Okay. Yeah. Well, until, yeah, that feels a bit too Celestial Goddess. It is. Yeah. Yeah.

Tubs Barberhand. How can I say? That I don't constantly interrupt when other people are describing fabulous things in their lives. No, you're right. We should do another take on this. And I mostly blame Matt because he encouraged. I would have been dead quiet.

I'm just saying the listener knows. I was just imagining a half Glacier woman. And listen, this commentator. It is you're chuckling, which is weird because you should be going, God, that's incredible. I wish you would tell me more about it, Aeon. I think that you have been done. You would tell me more about how Yuna had to go up against Sin.

I don't understand half the words you said though. In a way was indeed Titus's father and Titus indeed. Some people will love this section. I don't understand. Was something of a Aeon himself summoned by the people of Zanarkand to fight against Sin. When I finished Final Fantasy X. So like, the thing about Final Fantasy X is that you have to like,

the summoners have to go up against Sin, right? And only one wins and Sin comes back. So Sin is this like big like entity that is trying to kill everyone. And so the summoners like travel around Spira, the planet, and and like become one with all of these different Aeons. And then you have to go up against Sin and Yuna does it. But at the end, like, I mean, all these other things happen, which are incredible. But Yuna has to kill off all of the summons one by one because Yevon is jumping ship between

them, which is the actual enemy. And so you have to kill all the vessels so it has nowhere else to go. And so you spend this entire game building all these relationships and all of these like powerful beings are on your side. And then you have to kill them all off one by one and when I did that for the first time I Sobbed Through the final like hour of playing Final Fantasy 10. It's so

sad and then she saved the fucking planet you save everyone and she's Finally free to be with Titus and they go to embrace and then you realize that Titus is a fucking summon and he disappears so she saved the world and Titus falls like she falls through his arms. God-breaking. It's really sad. And that's why it was her Final Fantasy.

Oh it's such a good game. Anyway, congratulations to... Wait, can I just ask quickly? Does this game begin with them playing like a weird sport in some sort of futuristic arena? You know that it's called Blitzball and you're just being contrary about it. I started playing this game as a kid and I stopped very quickly because I was like, why are there so... Did I put a DVD in by accident? Why are there so many cut scenes?

I did not want this. Because it was the year 2000. And I couldn't see anything because the cameras were all locked on some weird fucking position. Yeah, that's Final Fantasy, baby. I hated that. I was like, where? And what? I can't interact with anything.

And now you're just going to start another cut scene? It's a very linear game. Yeah. But it's because it has a story to tell. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? Movies.

They're great. Do you know what I did watch? The Spirit Within. And then what did you think about that? I thought it was as compelling as the 20 minutes of Final Fantasy X that I did play. Yeah, no, Final Fantasy X is probably like the strongest Final Fantasy game, I think, because the battle system, it's like the most refined version of the active time battle system. And well, I mean, it's more turn-based than that.

But it's just like the strategy involved in that game is really, really strong. And then the story is really strong, but it's not an open world game. Yeah. It's not that I want to be able to go anywhere and do anything. It's just that I don't want all this like, don't stop talking to me. Yeah. Stop telling me how to feel. You have to strap in for the ride. And then Kamari's there.

I fucking love Kamari. I think it's cause I sit down to play a game and I'm like, I don't, I need this to be like pretty, like let's, let's go. Cause I'm not going to, I can't do 25 hours of this. Oh, that would get you about halfway through this game. No, no. What about Lulu? Did you get up to her?

When I tell you I played this game, that- Bitch. Yeah. Her dress is made of belts. If I want to see a dress made of belts, I'll watch Project Runway season three. It's very that. But also every time she moves all of her, like hair

accessories jangle and it's fabulous. If I want to see someone who's got jangly hair accessories, I'll come to our screening on Friday night. Yeah. See Zelda Moon. Okay. Tubbs Baba hand gesture. You're in.

Amen. Amen. Goodbye. Welcome back, everyone, for our final discussion for today. The time has come to decide which judge goes into the bunker. And no, it's not Gina Liana. She's not a judge. I know, well, that's why it's not her. Oh, you're right.

Yeah. Only Judy can judge me. So I think this is good because there's been some historic judges through time. Yeah. Yeah. Um, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, she's dead. So she can't come.

Wow. I didn't kill her. No, we could get her bones. Yeah, we could get her bones. What do you think about that hot guy that killed that person and now all the gays are obsessed with him? I think he's hot. And I think that I love that.

I, he's so hot. I think there's probably worse things you could do with a gun. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I think like it's interesting. It's a reckoning with the kind of moral background bone of American culture that has allowed so many people to die at the hands of a privatized healthcare system that is

negligent at best and money-hungry at worst. It's because they like wronged his ill... I don't think that they... no I don't think that there's not... no I think based on the manifesto at least which seems to have been like the actual manifesto. He just said like, what these people do is criminal. This is insane. We are a wealthy, wealthy country. There is no reason that the standard of living has not risen in this country. And that people like this, the, yeah, like standard of living and health in America has gone down as a result of, and like being someone who just took his boyfriend to an emergency service, you know, and we

didn't cost us anything. That's crazy. Like America's fucking insane. And if you get, if you have a sick relative, like my auntie has a severely autistic daughter and she herself has epilepsy, these are costs that have completely destroyed their lives. She will never, ever, ever crawl out from beneath this debt because they have had to take out high interest loans in order to pay their hospital debts because of all of the needs of Chrissy, my cousin.

It is just insane and it is obscene. While personally I think it's like we don't solve our problems with guns and we don't use this kind of violence, I'm also like, yeah Maybe in this completely corrupt system corruption is the only thing that will take us closer to a proper Not that it will have the effect that he wanted but no, but at least it's like brought attention I suppose I think as well like that the discourse has really opened back up, you know, like I I think that cuz like I know a bunch of medical insurance places have taken down their CEO and like a board list from their websites. They're scared. And I think that that fear and watching the public absolutely side with the killer has really

woken them up because everyone is like, no, fuck you. This is crazy. Like, how can you do this? Do you think it's that? Or do you think people are just like, he's dead. Do you see the abs? It certainly doesn't hurt. Does it?

Did you see the one where he's painted with blue paint? Have you seen the supposed nude? No. Yeah. I didn't even care if it's fake. And it's thick. Of course it is! Yeah, it takes balls.

He's very handsome. Yes. But I just, I wish you'd just like thrown paint on him or something. Yeah. Oh, you don't want the bullet. No. Bang, bang. No. I mean, who is culpable?

I know. Do you know what I mean? Who is culpable for the American healthcare system? You know what I think about sometimes is like, what if, like he, in this example, like took the manifesto and just like stapled it to the guy's head. I think like staples into the skin is so, ugh. He's not trying to do like a cabaret show. I think that's the thing though. It wouldn't have the same effect. No, but okay.

But okay. All of that aside, what do you think about staples into the skin? That's so scary. I've stapled my skin enough times to not be terrified. What? Yeah. What do you mean? You've never stapled yourself?

Do you mean like clipping it accidentally? No, like I've put staples into my skin by accident. Like using staple gun? Not a like trigger staple gun, but like a, like a domestic staple gun. Yeah. A paper stapler. Yeah. Paper stapler.

How did you fit it in? I have very petite, beautiful fingers. About the width of an A4 piece of paper. She has folds that she just stretches out. How dare you, Matt. God. Another roast from you. I'm so sorry.

Under the arms, just. Wow. Wow. This is, this is. Wow. Have you taken over managing a local trivia or something? Yeah. Would you describe the colour of your t-shirt as sea foam?

Or... Suddenly it's growing buttons and a collar. Um, yes. Well, um... Judges. Judges. Matt likes to judge. Yeah.

Hmm. But I'd like to take this... I don't judge at all. I never judge. I like Judge Judy. Yeah, me too. And I like how rich she fucking is. How rich is she? She's one of the richest women in entertainment.

She sold all of the, she owned quite a lot of the back catalog of Judge Judy. And when they were selling off to streaming services, I think she sold it for $800 million. $800 million? She's actually- Well, I guess there was a lot of seasons, wasn't there? Yes. And it's just like, perfect. It was on every day for like 20 years, wasn't it? That's so good.

Let's, I'll tell you her net worth and then we can get to it. Lots. But I'd like to take this opportunity to talk about, um, Oh no. Oh wait. How much does she sell the whole thing? $480 million is her net worth. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

That's good. Incredible. That's so good. I want her to have that money. But I really think that we should talk about Final Fantasy 12, which is really based around a culture of judges that enforce the laws in place. Final Fantasy 12, of course, is really like unique in that it's a spin-off of Final Fantasy Tactics Advance,

which is crazy to think that a Game Boy Advance game could influence a core mainline Final Fantasy game. And I think as well, well like Final Fantasy 12 coming after Like a dip in the toes of MMO RPGs of Final Fantasy 11 Yeah, like was limited success, but then it obviously wasn't that successful because they redid it 14. Isn't it X, XI? What? Final Fantasy XI? Why did they go X and then 11? Well, no one says X when you said that before. I just didn't say anything because I was trying to be kind. X is 10 in Roman numerals. No,

I know, but it's Final Fantasy X. No, it isn't. And Final Fantasy XI. No, it isn't. Why didn't they write, why they wrote it on the bar? That's how the ancient Romans would have said it. Yeah, okay. X, XI, XII. Yeah, Fast X. Advanced. Fast and the Furious 10. Is one of the best handheld games ever. It's one of the best strategy games of all time.

It's so good. I'd say the best handheld game is when I put my hands up and I go, whee, and lift my little gumboots off the ground. And then I might splish down in a puddle. Anyway. That's a good handheld game. To go from Final Fantasy X to the next like core game, skipping 11, to be XI. XI.

12 is fucking crazy. XI. The dip in quality is maddening. Final Fantasy XII is fucking terrible except for Fran, who is incredible. The nanny. Oh, oh, Fran, like you don't know how much Fran. Also, she has a really hot boyfriend because of course she does. But Final Fantasy 12 has like the weakest story.

It's very like political, but not like Game of Thrones political. It's just like, it's just so, you know, taxing the federation or whatever. And it attempts open world, but it's really just open areas. Very like monster Hunter esque, except on this massive scale, the game never ends. It just goes for forever. It has the worst like system of gameplay, like this gambit system, which I did enjoy that it had 12 slots because it's Final Fantasy 12. Ah, that I like and think is quite funny. But then it got old because in Final Fantasy 13- Everyone hates it when 12 slots get old.

Final Fantasy 13 has 13 chapters. And I'm like, I wish you just wrote a story that had as many chapters as it has, not try to scrunch it into 13 sections just because it's Final Fantasy XIII. X-I-I-I. X-I-I-I. No, wait, is that? Maybe we should do an episode about which Final Fantasy gets in. I'll play them all first.

How many hours will that take? Three? Thousand? So where's the judges? Do you know what I will say about Final Fantasy? Is that it's mostly not ugly. Yeah, it's very much its thing. Like I'm like, at least we're looking at images that are composed. Yes, but that is to the detriment of the franchise. I think. Well I mean the hair is crazy. The

hair. The spiky crazy hair. Oh come on. It reminds me of stickers they might sell on Etsy. But yeah that's the issue. Like with it becoming also like- I'd say the issue with it is that he keeps trying to kill all those children. I think that Chiara Franchini from Drag Race Italia is the best judge. On any Drag Race franchise. On any Drag Race franchise. And I'd almost say any reality TV show, but there's some contenders. What about Santino Rice?

She's better than Santino Rice, but up against Nina Garcia. Editor-at-large for Elle magazine, Nina Garcia. That's hard to beat. I think... It's incredible. Well, I'm... Okay. So there's never been a better triptych of judges than... Heidi Klum. Heidi Klum, who is such an incredible judge. Yes. Because she is cutthroat and German. Yeah. Which is like, the German thing is so perfect because she is cutthroat and German, which is like, the German thing is so perfect because she is the most quintessentially German person.

She's so beautiful. Yeah. But she also will just be like, no, I will tell you exactly what I think. Nina Garcia, editor-in-ge for Elle magazine. Yeah. And then Michael Kors. Yeah. Who is amazing. Yeah.

She looks like a... Yeah, he's like a... She looks like... Who is like an evil, intrinsically evil gay man. Yes. He is evil. She looks like a flamingo going to a Quinceañera. Those three together, it's magic. And then when you have Tim in the mix.

It's giving crazy crotch. There is not a woman in America that would like to have a big ass. Um, yeah, what an incredible little. I mean, they struck gold with that show. I truly think like never have we had such a dynamic group of judges because they were all cunts. Like every one of them, evil in different ways. Nina was like the apathy judge. Michael was like the rude, funny judge. Heidi was like the voice of God evil, like judgment, Old Testament God. Yes.

She's like, I gave you Eden and you've given me this. And then like the true, like nicest person that has ever existed on television, Tim Gunn. Yes. Like a genuinely humankind person. Yes, who is only interested in setting people up to succeed. Yes. Yes. And never steers people wrong. No. Is invested in people's talent. Yeah. Like I don't think there's anyone that is real like that on television.

No, no. I, oh, there is, there's so much more to Tim Gunn than just like that show, like so many of the things that he's done outside of that, just like media and press release and stuff that are all so fabulous. Like that is a human being who is like, in every, like has integrity in everything that they do. Yes, yes.

And like so profound. The, the integrity thing of of like what are they saying because for the man who shot that insurance ceo oh yeah they're like this man is like the internet has said this man like stands 10 toes on his business and i would say the same of tim gunn oh and tim gunn is hot. Yes. And also fabulous. Yes. Like what, like you would just, like, you know, someone who is stern will lay down his boundaries and his rules, but you would still want to have a cocktail with. You would love to be at his house for like a chic dinner party where you still know it's

time to leave at like 11.45. Yes. He's like, thank you so much for coming. Goodbye. And also has a lot of reactions that don't vocalize. And I love that. Yes. Just being flabbergasted by idiocy.

Yeah, and like kind of holding your cravat as you kind of see-saw back into a very neon lit room at Parsons Academy. Oh, come on, team, we're going to Mood. Oh, Mood. Yes. That's so good. Yeah. But yeah, Chiara is incredible.

She's my favorite judge in Italy drag race. Yeah. She just has this incredible energy, passion. She's twisted and crazy and very fun. I do love judges that cry as well. Oh, yes. There's a lot of that on Hispana. Those judges love crying. And there was a time where I was quite tantalized by Anna Locking,

who's one of the judges on that panel, but sorry, Kiara would like, she, she's better than you are. And what do you think about Michelle Visage? She's great. On this season of Down Under? I think she's really great. Yeah. I like, maybe there's a conversation about, is it right for Down Under?

Which I don't really care about that conversation. But like as a judge on Drag Race, like the host and judge, I think she's fantastic. I love the evolution of her on television. I think like no one has ever had such a like. Bizarre kind of like she's almost tracked in her career, the entire story of reality television and reality competition shows because she started out as kind of like a caricature of a woman kind of like, do do do do do do do do do come and watch this crazy thing on like a random network.

The inner we're going to see again, like weird Tyra Banks world. And now she's kind of gone through that whole meat grinder and come out being able to just be like a reasonable, real, well-rounded person. Even though at the start, if you go back and watch her in like the first few seasons, she's like, this is ugly. Like doing like an impression of a judge from the time.

And it's so cool, like that we get her now, where she's just like fabulous. And I think she just like, she is, or at least like in the presentation on Down Under just seems very like she's having a good time. Yeah. She's enjoying being there. And sometimes you see that fade. I'm not specifically talking about RuPaul, but just like hosts of shows and things

that have just been the same forever Yeah, like that fire Dampens, but it really doesn't seem like that with her which is fabulous. She really is in her element. Yeah. Yeah rising. Yeah Yes And then Tyra obviously is a psycho and I love that. Yeah, like that Tyra obviously is a psycho and I love that. Like that truly is one of the most unhinged things. Yeah. What about the hats that keep getting bigger every episode? That's attached to a judge. And I think that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What about like an old crusty judge in like a 90s like, um, movie, like kind of like a, uh, a miracle on 31st to 34th street.

What, where'd the miracle happen? Um, you know, like, you know, a grizzled old man with a giant white wig who's like, Santa does not exist. I like that. I do like that. Yeah. Like judge robes. Judge robes, I like. Do they have to that. Yeah. Like Judge Robes. Judge Robes I like.

Do they have to wear a wig? Judge Dredd? No, they don't have to wear a wig. Judge Dredd. I love that movie. Yeah. Dredd. That's good.

Yeah, Judge Dredd is good. Yeah. Judge Reinhold. Ah. Resset development. Judge, my name. My name is Judge. My name is Judge.

Judge, my name. Sorry to all of you who have not watched the rest of the development. My name is George. And he has that backing band. The band is so good. Wait, what is it? Mark Child! Judge right home!

Mark Child! And he got the guy from American Idol. That's so stupid. I'm sorry if you haven't watched the rest of the development, but you should. You should. But the, the setup of that joke is that there's an American actor named Judge Reinhold and then like in the show, they're like, he has his new show where he's like a judge, but he's not actually a judge, so we can't do it.

So it's all mock trials. My name is... I do love the judge in Legally Blonde the musical. Sure. Yeah. But if he's straight, I'll, we'll meet up on eight at Saturday. I don't know. I don't know.

Okay. I don't know. Okay. Judges. Is the host of, no, there's not really a judging panel on Survivor, they just judge each other. That's it, you are all the judge. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I kind of think judging,

like, I mean, obviously we have the MasterChef judge is. I love that cravat wearing one. Oh, I don't care about that. I'm now thinking about iron chef. Oh, chairman cargo. That's a good judge. I think what do you, what qualities do you look for in a judge? I look for, I definitely look for like honesty. Or I definitely look for like honesty. I don't like a, like a, like a yes vest of like, Oh, everyone's amazing.

But I think constructive criticism in the analysis, but also not just like I would have done this differently and that differently. Like you know, like just constructive criticism. Yeah. Yeah. But I also think they need to be like dressed fabulously. I think that is part of it. I am so thrilled about the judge, the drag judges on Down Under that they got to dress in drag on the panel.

Yes. Which after watching Canada again, I was like, Oh, they don't let them dress in drag. Mmm. Yeah. Some of the outfits have been amazing. It's just like another opportunity to see a them dress in drag. Mmm. Some of the outfits have been amazing. It's just like another opportunity to see a drag queen dressed up. Yes.

Why would you not want that? Well, this is also like Sweden and Italy and Spain and stuff have been doing this. Yeah. It just works so much better. Just let them be in full geesh. Yes. It's a show about drag. Yeah.

They should have drag. And it also like helps you figure out how much you should take their critique seriously. Correct. I thought they've all been quite good on Down Under. Yeah. Yeah. No, I didn't. Listen, I didn't say anything. No, I love, I love everyone. Maybe you should be the judge. Listen, Michelle's already reamed my makeup.

I got nothing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Judges. Yeah. Judges. I think out of all of them, for me, Judy is the. Judy is a great judge.

She's the one. She is. She's so like harsh, not harsh, but like, like stern, you know what I mean? But she also is someone who seems no nonsense. Like genuinely listening. But she also like, she's always, she's got a strong moral compass, I think. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Like, well, at least I feel like I'm my, whenever I see her in the courtroom. Yeah. I'm like, I can, yeah, I can see why she said that. Yeah. Yeah. You know? And when she says, shush, shush. Yeah.

Yeah. And I like that she treats everyone like children, like little naughty children. Yeah. Naughty, naughty. So you came in because he stole your car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She makes them feel pretty stupid.

A lot of times she switches the halfway through and then she pulls the rug. Yeah. She actually hates that guy. When he starts mouthing off. And I love it when the, whichever start to like think that she's on their side. Yeah. They get a bit cocky and then she's like, no, no. I didn't ask for that. You're all bad.

Yeah. Yeah. You're all. Like. I did not ask you. Hmm. I love that. What do you think about like having your heart weighed against a feather?

Oh, the Egyptian gods. Egyptian gods weighing you when you come to the afterlife. Anubis. Anubis? Did Anubis do that? Anubis? Anubis. I barely even know this.

I like that a lot. Like I think there's a place for that in The End of Times. Yes. Like, oh, you want your gin before sleep time? Well, that's where your heart against your feather. Well, I think, okay, what about this? That's what goes in for judge. And then it is either, do you get the gin or whatever the fuck, or you get the demon?

Oh, so you get a nice breezy sleep or a demon sleep. That sounds good. That's good. I'm going to accept that. I like that. I'm going to be judged before bed. I'm going to allow this. Okay.

Well, that's another great judge. The Futurama judge. Yes. I'm going to allow this. Oh, I love that. Everyone has to be judged before bed. I'm going to allow this. Okay. Well, that's another great judge. The Futurama judge. Yes. I'm going to allow this. Oh, I love it. Oh, that is so good. Wait. Keep the anubis or whatever.

What was the middle thing we did? The middle thing? Yeah. The hand. The hand. Oh. The judgment hand. Yes.

That is kind of judgy. Yeah. Yeah. The, the Tubbs. Oh. The judgment hand. Yes. That is kind of judgy. Yeah. Yeah. The Tubbs Barber Official Hand Clench. Yes. Which we'll put a video up on the Instagram. Yeah. We'll do it.

A little how-to. Yes. And credit to Tubbs. I'm sorry for stealing your whole personality. I know. Whoops. No, but last time I spoke to them about it, they were kind of like, ah, I'm over it.

Okay, well now it'm over it. Okay. Well now it's all ours. Okay. Um, so this week, sleep paralysis demon. Who's also offering a tantalizing beverage. A refreshing quenching gin and the murmuring sounds of loved ones in another room. and the murmuring sounds of loved ones in another room. Nice one. Nice one. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, to have your heart weighed against that of a feather before entering your slumber state.

Yes, and if you are just, you'll get a little gin. And if you've lived a life of sin, you'll be staring into a demon every night. What a poem. That was really nice. Beautiful. Okay. If you've sinned, no more gin. That's right. Okay. Thank you all so much for another root.

Pardon? Sorry? I don't even know what I was going to say. I was going to say riveting week and something else, but root was what came out. Just came out as root. Thanks for the root. That's our side off now. But Root was looking at that. Just came out as Root. Thanks for the Root.

That's our side of that. I think, can we all agree, can we make a pact right now? That the next time we have sex, I know who you're both going to have sex with next. Who knows who I'll have sex with next? Mystery! So it's more of a, well, you know, it's a challenge for all of us. But afterwards, the pact is that we turn to them and say, thanks for the root. I promise.

I pinky promise. I promise. Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. Maybe my little pinky in the air. Oh my God. Are you saying that your wife has a little dick? Has a little dick? Geez.

Size queen. Wow. Okay. I thought it was a part of our pact, sharing our... Okay. Good night. Good night. Thanks for the route.

Bye. Sulengor. Get There, everyone, was recorded in Natural Happy Tad Studios by Mad Cheers. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Sentrick and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepart.gmail.com Oh and would you support us please at patreon.com slash death to everyone? And bye bye. So long. To you.

To you! To you! Oh! Oh! To you. To you! To you! To you! Judge, my name. My name is Judge. My name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is,

my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is, my name is...