Death To Everyone - Death To... Stranger Things Kids, Free Youtube Movies & Christmas Foods

Episode Date: January 6, 2026

Bonjour!S'il vous plaît; bon appetit aujourd'huiBon chance!Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠��⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

...toe... ...to every one... Hello, listen. Hello. And that's here. Oh, dang. Barlicking. Welcome to death to everyone.

This is our weekly podcast hosted by Lazy Susan. Mm-hmm. Can I get a round of applause? A whoop-boop. A-boop. And me, Zelda Moon. A-whoop. A-whoop.

And we're driven around and also produced by Matt Shears. A-whoop-whoop. Yay. It's Matt here. Hi. Matt, how you feel? I'm good. I'm a bit tired, as always.

Yep. But I've taken a few no doses so that, you know, don't fall asleep with the wheel. I wish I could believe that you would take some sort of stimulant. But you don't, do you? What do you mean? I'm very zippy. You don't zip. You don't zip.

You don't like, I've been spending a lot of time with non-drinkers, non-smokers, people without vices. Can't get away. Matt, question, I've not seen the front of the space car I say sit in the back. Do you have one of those beaded, like, seat covers or like a velveteen seat cover or a lamb? Oh, yeah. A little massaging action for you.

I don't know. No, I've only got just a nice memory foam cushion for my button, for my bottom. I call my butt, my button. Oh, yeah, you like my button. Push my button, babe. Ever since that song, you renamed it. Yeah, it's directly on the seat.

There is something happening today, ladies and gentlemen and everyone else. What? I have been tagged in two of the most hideous photos of me. Wait, what's the other one? Don't pull out your phone when you say that, you bitch. I have been tagged in a really ugly photo. Was it from underneath? Yes, it was from the side.

and underneath, which is like... The worst angle. The club stuff, honey, is a low angle. And listen, I get where stages are. But you need to get up. I don't care how you do it, but you need to get up. The only way is it. Get that camera on a pole.

Get it on a pole. Wait, where's the second one? I want to see that. No, I'm not talking about that. But if you went to Mum the Drag Queen's stories, you might find it. Oh. Oh. look it all it happens to the best of us it happens to me quite often because there's just so many ugly photos to me floating around the world

because i'm too kind i'm too kind i let people take photos when they shouldn't this is um it's foul it's foul and it's my fault it's the wig it's not the photo it's the wig i need to put bangs on no more lace what are we doing yeah no what are we fucking doing with lace front wigs Because the lace we have is like fucking fly screen. Yeah. No one's believing it. Uh-uh. No one's looking at our forehead being like, oh, that's growing out of your head.

I just invested in my very first lace front vanity. And when it arrives, I'm quite curious to see what it is like. What the quality of the laces? Because like, I don't know, does it get better than that? Yeah. Yeah, that's true. I feel like that's a good way to go. Because they've been the best hard fronts have.

ever had, so I'm hoping they're the best lace fronts, but we shall see in three to seven business days. Well, thank you, Vanity. Wigs by Vanity. Okay. So obviously, we have been with you, listener, for the new year, for the Christmas. We're kind enough to give you some glorious episodes to tide you over while your family was all around you.

Have you been supping on it? Or did you swallow it quick? They did on those noise cancelling headphones and go and do the dishes. I'm fine actually. I can do it myself. No, and as a result, the episodes have been like not listened to. Generally we have the big spike on the day that it releases, but this one has been low and slow.

So you've found time in your day to come and have a quick listen. What have you been busy or something? Anyway, how was it? How was New Year's? Did you have fun? New Year's. It was good. You were doing something.

Yeah, I had a... You were out and about. I was. It had a fun gig at... Arbery, afloat, down the bar next to Flinders Street Station. And I performed with a cavalgate of incredible performers. I was paired up for the night.

with Dandrogeny, but there was also, what, Simone, Gabby, the Huxley's, Bendy Band, Janrews. Yeah. An incredible assortment of people. Yeah, it was really, really fun. We did that gig last year together. We've done it another year together. It's always just like very similar crowd.

I'm just like, the straighties, the straight, straight one 80s who were just like, they'd have a good, good night. And they do. They do. And the thing that is quite nice about that crowd is it's always very, like, varied ages. Yeah. Like 20-year-olds and probably, like, 65-year-olds, which I think is fun. But it was really good.

We were tasked with, so I had, like, about an hour where I was meant to be, like, roving and, like, photos and chit-chats and bringing the VAB. And then this year, I performed on the boat that went past the venue, which was very fun. we did a 10-minute medley Dandrogen and I out on this little dingy just going back and forth by the venue but it was so fun and neither of us fell in the water. Did you get seasick?

No. One of Dandrogeny's earrings is now at the bottom of the Yarrow River. But that's fine. Yes, incredible. Yeah, but we ended up roving for about six hours because it was just so fun and silly.

And did you meet any hottie-biscotty men? Lots. Any that you feel like you can start a flirtation ship with? No. There was one from last year who I'd been flirtation shipping for the past 12 months. And he was there again. So that was good. And any progress?

No. He let me touch his bare chest because he was wasted and he was like, check this out. It's like, I have been. Thank you. His beautiful tits. Yeah. His hairy rack. Not hairy.

Oh. Yeah. I want you to tell you, he'll probably shave this. it's the one yeah but yeah he's a confused man but at one point he was like Zelda Boone you have to help me find a wife

it's like oh I'm your wife could I be the wife no I don't think your heart broke the answer yeah well no sure let me find someone else for you yeah yeah I'd love to do that

yeah find someone else take me a favor yeah But it was really great. The downside was that I worked all day beforehand, then had the gig, and then worked in the morning the next day. So I was tied-tie. You're a glutton. That's why you're so tired today.

Yeah, because I had Friday off and then I've worked all weekend. So I have the next two days off, and I'm very excited about it. You do not have the next two days off. No, but I have it off from main work just to second work. You're never going to recover. No. I say that because Zelda and I are going into rehearsal. for our web series.

Yeah. More to come. Yes. Watch this space. Yes. Announcements brewing. Oh. You'll get that later.

Yeah, yeah. It all makes sense. And what about you? How was your New Year's Eve? New Year's Eve. I flew down to Hobart. And this year was very. fabulous um firstly because i did actually have a few offers for new year's eve and i'm finding

more and more in the world of drag that like uh perhaps new year's eve is the Halloween of drag like it actually is the one where like you can kind of obviously the fee becomes more expensive um but yeah you kind of have a few like a lot of people want drag queens for their big new year's blowout. The vibes. Well, she was booked. Um, but yeah, so I had had kind of gotten a few offers and went with Miss Poussay Poppins because I had been dying to get down to Tazzy to do some stuff. Um, and she is just such a lovely, delightful queen. I don't know if you, she has done some stuff up here in Melbourne before. Um, kind of like a fabulous quirky bitch. Um, but when I got down there to Tazzi,

like I got down, I'd gotten her to book me a few days early and leave a few days, like a day late because me and Kurchin wanted to have like a little bit of a, let's go and see the sides of Tasmania. But she still picked me up even though I was there a day early. And dropped me off at my comm, which was just like, you know,

staying with a friend. And then did the same a day later. Like she just like, like when I was leaving a day late, like it was like she really took care of me from go to woe. made sure that I was like, there was never a second where I didn't have someone to be like, okay, I need help with this. That is so cute.

It was so lovely. And then like, you know, I got backstage and there was like ample, you know, sparkling wine and like gorgeous snacks and like the whole time it was just lovely. And like I think it was a bit of a trickier night. Like it seems to like that there was maybe less ticket sales than dreamed. And I think what I was. learned about Hobart was that like the city kind of empties out on New Year's Eve a little bit because the streets were a bit haunted um however that said god damn did I have the funnest time

backstage just like kicking with all the divas um yeah and like it's really exciting like I keep having this experience when I go to places with smaller drag scenes and like I think the girls just are working really hard to make it work, which I love. Like, I think, like, Melbourne has lost a little bit of its scrappiness, or at least I'm not seeing it as much. Like, there are girls that are just doing, like, the most obscene amount of work for a single spot number. And I love it.

Yeah, so, so some really great, some great work from the dovers. And then, um, just went to Mona. Hmm. I want to, I want to do something at Mona this year. manifesting that. That's cool. Or next year. I don't know when we're going to be busy or not.

But, ooh, that'd be so good. I want to, like, send them a proposal for that silent drag thing we did years ago. True. And, like, just have that, but, like, just in full spectacularness. Maybe they can book us to do that for the next, like, 20 years. Right? They love doing that kind of thing. There was...

There's the, at the, there's that 4 p.m. show with the composer that comes in every day at like 12 and starts composing a new work that then a quartet comes in at 4 p.m. every day and performs whatever he's composed. What? Yeah, this is an installation in Mono. That's so cool. That's crazy, but that could be us. Yes. Trying every day. Yeah, or having a tattoo on our back.

Yeah, exactly. I didn't see tattoo back there. Yeah. I think, is he done? Is he cut his contract over? Oh, I thought he was there forever. Yeah. There's a man that sits in the gallery that has a back tattoo that is the art. And he's the living easel, I guess. Yeah.

Yeah. And we went to the cloaca, the machine that manufactures poo every day. And what did you think? Well, we went back at two to see the cloaca poo because they have it as like an event. And when we got there, they were like, cloaca ain't shit in today. She's backed up. Yeah, they're like, she's feeling unwell. And I'm like, well, okay.

Cajun, let's go to the bathroom. Peer under some stalls. I'm getting my money's worth. I'm going to see shit. Shower's, yeah. Wow. Yeah. And then on the New Year's Day, we watched the Stranger Things finale.

Oh, God. Just because I didn't want to miss it, even though I haven't seen the show since season three. Yeah. So you didn't catch up. you just watched the last one yeah i'm not missing much oh no no i have you seen it man yeah i watched it yeah oh zelda you haven't i've not i spent yesterday catching up with a few episodes and now i'm like 30 minutes into the finale but last night when i realized that it was a two hour finale and then i was only 30 minutes in i thought gee i wish i was doing literally anything else than watching

more of this show yeah so i'll probably finish it in the next two days but oh i disliked this season so much um oh it's just ugh i hate it it gives like i think because i'm not attached to the franchise it's giving me some like mccu clarity i think of like what if every scene was just like the next action scene and that's all the entire thing is yeah which like is so shallow and then there's these like impactful scenes where two characters have one conversation to resolve their issues with each other

but also the spaces in which those scenes happen it's like everything's in a weird void and like the only thing they're doing is talking to each other they're not like doing anything in life there's no kind of because inevitably like once they leave like we're at high school or like I work in supermarket or whatever like once you take all context out like yeah we're in the void yeah and we don't really have anything to do except for like when the villain comes we're going to run or we're

going to attack yeah but in the meantime we'll just sit in the void and discuss kind of what what's going on or like what we need to do next yes and then as well the it's so boring it's so bizarre It's more boring. I just skipped through it all. I just kind of watched it all at twice speed. Yeah. I was just like, I can't believe. I wanted to see what had like how they tied it all up.

Yeah, yeah. I really didn't care about it anymore. I just, I could, yeah, I was like, this is, um, this is really weird. Yeah. And the other thing I think that a lot of shows and movies and especially like those ones that have semi sort of franchisable, I feel like, just, right, especially finales, like a video

game, you know, all the action sequences were just levels of a video game. Yeah, yeah. And so it can just directly translate to the Stranger Things game. Yeah. And it's funny because I was thinking about that, like, watching so many episodes back to back.

I was like, I see the, like, the mirror, the attempted mirror of like, D&D, but real life, or like, video game, but real life. And just thinking how poorly it was executed because I think Mandalorian, especially Mandalorian

season one, was a really video gamey. Like every episode was its own little capsule adventure but in a lens that was different to just like episodic TV but I don't know I think that this season in particular of Stranger Things kind of attempted the same thing

but just did not deliver because it ends up being not engaging it's. You don't really want to watch a video game without actually playing it do you know what I mean like well exactly when you watch all that story exposition stuff so that you can get to the next part of playing and like do the actual skills of playing that level or whatever yeah but when you're just watching the story and it feels like a video game but you don't actually get to control anything it's so boring yeah and I think as well like when

you're when you're doing like when you're doing something that's specifically around like characters like when the promise to the audience is like this is about character growth like and then the show departs and becomes about like beating a boss yeah like it it doesn't like it's like if every war movie ended with like you know and then they defeated the germans like it doesn't it's like well no like you know you kind of pick who your characters you're following and so it's like it would have kind of been interesting to just fit with a bit more of the like like we don't ever kind of get the answer we don't ever vanquish the evil and I think like the issue with a lot of like the way that these new stories are forced to be told like with

the Marvel thing which makes sense in the Marvel world because those are based on comic books that are like like you know in their original incarnation about the kind of of simplistic good and evil stuff like not in the adult world where they've evolved to be for like you know like the characters have had to do more interesting things than just boss fight each other yeah but for kids like back in the day that's what it was about like and like those were like you know then this guy goes up against this guy and who's gonna win and da da da but like i i think like in the case of stranger things it's like not really what the show was about originally yeah it's really weird it was much more of like a Stephen kingy kind of like world and like I don't know

with mystery yes but when you expand it into five seasons and extract all mystery yeah like where's the fun yeah I think as well like it really did make me think a lot about Buffy and I was like how did Buffy have these like final seasons that were really good and like really interesting and like the woman that you started the series with which was like the kind of 2D much more like cut out like concept of like what if the valley girl was the the monster killer yeah yeah and then by the end you're like so with her on this like she vanquishes the evil finally kind of puts a little bit of a full stop on what the show has been about and you have this really weird feeling at the end that it's like quite hollow that like she's kind of carrying with her the like baggage of everything that's happened and that she will never be the same and like you don't really get answers to a lot of like well then what like I mean except for like when they went off and did the other stuff but like you don't know what happens to these characters now but you know that like they're just

heading off into an uncertain future that continues to have weird bizarre shit happening it whereas like this show which you haven't seen yet does the full like then this happens to this person and this happens to this person oh my god and this happens to this person and you're like

this is the most fucking bullshit fan service shit like you can just not do and you don't need to do that like and like it started with the Harry Potter of it all because like that was and like even Lord of the Rings it's like that ending that

goes on and on and on. It's like, can we just, like, just, it's okay to just finish the thing and let people just think about what's going to happen instead of showing them. Imagine what they do. Every conceivable outcome, yeah. Yeah, bizarre. So you don't think that he should have been granted passage.

I just don't think I didn't need to see all that. Wow. You know, that guy. oh that guy that guy yeah okay anyway that also was the joke at the time

what when the other rings came up everyone was like oh the film that ever ends because I had the ending and then there was another 35 minutes well because also they did that slow fade to black

yeah and then like no no there's more I wouldn't imagine well get ready for that because we got to the ending of Stranger things, Kirchen and I. Yeah. And then we're like, oh, my God, we are halfway through the film.

Oh, my God. And then there was still another fucking 45 minutes. Yeah, I checked the time as well. I was like, oh, is it nearly time for bed? Yeah. I was like, oh, no, no, I've got to skip through the end of all this in case they reveal something important. But they didn't.

I think we should just be thankful for shows that got canceled after one season. People treat it like it's a real tragedy. It's not. You should, you know, be thankful that these shows, like, wonderfuls, happened. They existed, like, Firefly. I know I keep bringing up Josh Sweden for some reason. But, like, these shows that you just got a little taste of, and then they went away, and we had the good sense to just let it fucking be.

I think, like, like a better planned out stages of a story. Like, I think it's really important, especially now. like in the particular like television landscape to know that so many things get cancelled after one season yeah or not or like have the backing and the planning for like the one season version or the five season version or whatever because it is dynamic but it's so unsatisfying in some ways but you can kind of safeguard yourself against that a bit yeah and i think that Stranger Things, like, that season one story, like, the season one story will fit in season five in a way, but if you just watch season one, that season five has nothing to do

with what happens in season one. No. Like, it's a complete, like the scale and the, even like the heart of the show, not even just like the actions that happen in it. It's totally completely different. Yeah. So, like, obviously the vision wasn't. there from the beginning to end up with where they were no but when um yeah when things are just

better planned out if you make it all the way through to season three or whatever and that's the finale then how satisfying yeah like um dark um the german like sci-fi series was three seasons that is it but if it had ended after season one or season two like there were enough story elements wrapped up and enough mysteries moving forward that you could be like oh i wish there was more but you know this ended happy with what i got yeah but in the end we got all three seasons and it all wrapped up really nicely but also not with a full stop because that's not really how stories work um yeah so it's just crazy that i don't know i think like the weird thing of having been like a really big Breaking Bad fan

oh crazy but like that show became the biggest fucking phenomena in about season three after they'd already kind of slowly been patiently like making this

show that was like yeah just like really good writing really fabulous performances all round and like then it became this massive hit but they never kind of

let that insane amount of attention destroy the grounding of the show so much so that by the time you got to the finale even though it was still big it wasn't like versus the world's stakes it never like went beyond the stakes

of like we're in Albuquerque we're not leaving Albuquerque this is like the world of the show the characters like are not scaling up and becoming like now he's going against the president and da da da because we just need to figure out a way to make justify spending more money on the show

it was like this is the scale of this world this is how we make it important to these characters and it's not just throw more money and visual effects at the issue and make like huge yeah huge amounts of stuff around it but I think that

the show strange things came along at the time when like Netflix needed a hit and like it was just coming out of its like last cycle of hit which was like house of cards in it orange is the new black but it like helped establish their brand and then they're like okay this is it it's a show that like we get young people watching and like older people will join

too it has like a like a fully ownable set of IP that we can like aesthetically turn out into a bunch of merch as well so like let's pin all our hopes on this and so like as Netflix has grown into this kind of unstoppable juggernaut the show scaled with it and like with their ambitions to say like where as big as Disney we can have our own Marvel like scale thing yeah and they just picked like something that they had in it like the closest thing that was in their roster to something that was Marvel adjacent they just turned into a Marvel thing yeah because they were oh a Harry Potter thing or whatever the fuck because they were just like we don't have that and we only make original like shows or

like this is the only original show we have that we can do that too because like they can't do that they can't make rides with orange is the new black or how's the car yeah i would love that ride yeah totally um the pussy coaster um but the yeah like it was just that thing of like they i feel you can feel the executives coming to them and be like this is what we're going to do with this show are you on board and now they have like the literal theme park experience in Dubai or whatever. The like endless, you know, fucking amoebo, not amoebo, fucking giant funkopoppy like things. And all the grand, like, but the, yeah, it just didn't, it didn't work.

Yeah. Or maybe it did. I don't know. I don't, yeah. They also have the play that's out at the moment. Stranger Things play. Yes. Telling the 50s backstory of Vecna.

Oh. Yeah, so they have their curse of child. I hate it. And like we are literally, they're already promoing the fucking prequel or whatever. Oh, they're making more. I think so, yeah. Oh, my God. And also that little gay Zionist is doing a recap show next year.

A recap show of Stranger Thing? Yeah, podcasts. Oh. Isn't that sad? Gay people on podcasts? I don't know. about it yeah you need to have like two gay people i think so they can cancel each other out or better than that two women oh god i wish this podcast had two women on it what what we're goddesses

um yeah true the godessa um that gaybo yeah like i i was looking him up to like because I knew like all those things that happen like scandal arbor scandal um but I was a bit hazy on it because that was a little while ago yeah and I was like wait we do hate you right um and yes I think believe is the answer still currently in just had to check this date of recording um but yeah I didn't actually realize that he was actually gay yeah he's gay but yeah came out as gay he's like oh I didn't realize the same thing that happened with the character. So fun, except for how we hate you.

What do you think about him being gay in the context of the show? So I don't think it was in the finale episode. Finale. The finale. Definitely not that one. But there was like the coming out scene. Did you see that? I saw memes of him crying and I was like, oh, spare me.

Crocked out, tears. Um, it was pretty tragic. Oh, was it sad? No, no, no, no, like, pathetic. Um, it was just like, oh, it just didn't need to be there, like, at all, like, in terms of the story. And what? No, you tell me. Oh, I just, it'd ruin the flow of the story, you thought?

I thought. It was like, what are we doing? And what was his point? He was like, I need everyone to know that I'm gay so that the secret doesn't. corrupt me or whatever and turn me evil. It's like, oh, sure. Shut up. Also, it's not obvious that you're gay.

It was the 80s. They didn't know what that was yet. But also, it was the 80s. So they wouldn't have been so accepting. No, that's crazy. Which really annoys me. Like, straight cuts to Winona being like, you're incredible, I love you forever.

She wouldn't have reacted that way. I think, like, there's a world that I can imagine that Winona the town kook would be okay but like every character no sorry not someone would have beat the shit out of him

someone would have said something really pass-ag like especially the best friend that he's in love with yes old skeletor so truly the cryptkeeper he's got his epic face when that child when I see that child

with the highest cheekbirds in the world incredible looking human being but I'm just like what the fuck I there were all these shots that I was watching of like the profile it's like this nose is out of control

something must be done someone needs to say something are we talking about this but that kid would have punched that little faggot in the face no he would have ghosted him well he would have just phased away and being like, ooh.

Like, as someone who had a straight best friend growing up that I came out to, that's what happens. Yeah. Not the, you know what? You're great. Yeah. Get real. Sorry, but if you want to depict the eight, like,

and also because they're so proud of, like, do you see these Levi jeans? Levi, the company, like, went back to old patterns and remanufactured it for a special so we could have it exactly, like, true to period. And then you're sort of, script is like, we love gay people. It's in 1988.

You're like, okay, so what's the point of having period accurate genes if you don't have period accurate homophobia? Like, my ass. Actually, though. My ass! Yes. Yeah. What happened to the girl?

Because she was a lesbian. Yeah. In Maya Hawke or whatever, Ethan Hawks. But you still find her attractive. Well, yeah. Like, she had her girlfriend in the finale. Yeah. Or while he was coming out.

Mm-hmm. I can't actually, I'm asking you, Zolta, I literally don't remember. Yeah. Because that was just a non-event. No. Did she say that she was gay as well? Um, or she just, I don't know that she's like, kind of like knowingly looked at him while. Winona looked at her and said, it's a phase and then walked away.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, like, because they had like, because they had like a, why didn't she get the same storyline? Well, she's a B character. I don't know. But also that girlfriend annoyed me. Why was she always wearing that outfit?

I wouldn't realize it's because she was a nurse or whatever. But actually, not to make this into a giant stranger thing's look back part, but that fucking little girl, you know, capy. Oh, yeah, I know cape. Bitch, that cape is so beautiful. The cape was incredible. I was. As if.

And those precocious fucking piggy tails that are always perfectly curled. Uh-uh. Where are you getting that curling eye and sweaty? Yeah. In the upside down. Yeah, right. They got a salon, never a hair out of place. Oh, but I did love that old Redhead was living in that spooky cave, the trauma cave.

Like, that is great. I might have missed this button. But I hated that little girl. I hate that little girl. She was recast, so they had like an actual little girl. I was played by twins originally. Oh, okay. Tiring, long days.

But yeah, then there's like girl 2.0. I don't know who you are. you look very slightly different to a character that I forget was even in the show. I also just hate that kind of like that little girl, little girl, is like, we're doing this. We're doing this now, everyone. And you're like, what little girl? What little girl is acting like this? She's acting like a manager at a target.

Yes. What do you mean? Yeah. That's insane. That's not how little girls talk. No. And little girls. She's all the old ones doing it.

Yeah. She was like, I can do that. I just hate, like, I'm like, have these two men who are writing the show met a little girl? Because she could still lead them, but she's also going to be petty and say awful things. And if you think she's coming back for that little fat kid, she ain't. No. No. How quickly they forgave the fat kid.

Yeah. Please. He was a bully. He was. Ugly jumper they forced him to wear. That diva. Let him out of the jumper. Whoa.

It was so cruel. I saw the costume design to be like, I just thought of a boxed crayon and put it on it. I'm like, God. It is a striped rainbow. Why would the bully wear that top? That is true.

Like to like throw you off the scent, I guess. Is what? Yeah. This show doesn't get it. It was period accurate. I just hate. Yeah, fucking don't even get me started. But I hate all those like shots in those like.

like just giant endless places. Yeah. Pick up a rock, touch it, crumble it before my eyes. Because I don't believe where you are. Yeah, no. And what about going from like red empty dimension to orangey yellow empty dimension? That whole empty dimension thing is crazy. Like why is it just still a rocky paradise, but just a different hue?

You barely explored that dimension. Yes. You're just picking on things now. No. I need. I just wanted to know I'm I haven't watched it so I don't want you to tell me listener if you have but what I wanted to happen in my stranger things which I might have already said is I wanted Bob to come back as the villain and it to be like villainous versions of all of them

in the upside down because all the buildings are repeated and so I wanted the people to be repeated but evil evil yeah and come out of the upside down and start taking their places

like snatching body snatches what is the name of that movie um us yeah do the upside down

yeah that yeah and they just don't ever acknowledge that that film exists yes

well no they just pretend like it was before it came out it's fine yeah yeah we had that in the plan

the whole time Lu Peter Nongo yeah but yeah I just like diva shut it down yeah well it's done yeah thank god for now what do you think of sadie sink that girl i mean i had heard tell of her being the one that's going to break out yeah so when i was watching that finale i was like oh maybe it's just the lines but you're not giving me

actress no you're giving me beautiful woman who can't actress nervous because I was thinking the same thing and she's in the new Spider-Man. Oh. And there's, I mean, we don't know what character she's playing, but some people are saying Jean Grey, but she can't be Jean Grey. That actually can't be the case. But, um, I just,

I'm nervous. Who would you accept as Jean Grey? Famke. Only Famke Jensen. Yes. Can come back. Yeah. To do like the Sigourney Weaver and Avatar and play a 14-year-old. I'm teen,

teen, teen. Who would you allow? Well, I was looking at her face, and she's, like, so beautiful. But Femke just has, like, more mystique about her. Without being mystique. But just, there's more happening. Like, you can't just be beautiful. You need to be interesting.

Yeah. You've got to be a bit gourd. Yes. A bit long. You're going to have hair that's, like, silk. Yes. Yes. To all these things.

Eyes that are almost all. black. Not yet. We're not at Dark Phoenix just yet. Calm down. She's got small eyes. Are you looking at her right now?

Me? Yeah. No, I'm just picturing her from memory. Oh, you'll notice that's her husband that had small eyes. I don't know. But, yeah, I'm just nervous about what Ms. Sink will do next. She will sink to the bottom of the

perhaps. Do you think she'll come alive next to Tom H? I'm worried about Tom H. Really? What's she going to do next? Well, I think she's realized there's nothing after Spider-Man, which is why she's back in the spider suit. Like Robert Downey before her. Correct.

Goodbye. Hello. Yeah. Because like... Do you have some being Dr. Strange love? They've hit the ceiling of their paychecks and they realize, oh, well, we'll just go back to that. Like, let's just keep this one rolling to give them. money and just keep because like I don't know Nathan Drake didn't really rock the world and I don't

know what else is Tom doing well he's in the new Christopher Nolan film the Odysseus yeah what do we think about that oh god I can't stand Christopher Nolan of course his ego is the size of like do the Let's do next. Like, okay. Yeah. I'm excited that they're making an Odyssey movie, but I think like... The IP, the world has waited for. I have been waiting for that, but I'm skeptical about how it's going to go.

I just... My only thing that gives me pause about him doing it is that he's never made a good movie. And I fear that his streak might continue. You know I realized the other day, though? At the MIF opening night, I was talking to press and I was like, on the red carpet and someone asked me about Christopher Nolan and I was like

ugh that faggot why do I say that they cut it out but I was like why did I say that and is it just a jump cut like ugh that I really like I woke up in the night and I was like

why did I call Christopher Nolan up is he gay? He's not gay at all I don't know why I said that I think I was using it as a slow Yeah, I was just really stressed. Ugh, that faggot. Batman? Ugh.

Fagelina. Jesus. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, literally, I was there. Honesty is what? Honesty is like Greek gods. Homer. The original story.

What? Homer. It was written by Homer. Yeah. I see. I just love those stories. Like, The Aeneid and the Odyssey and stuff.

Well, I can't wait to come to the cinema with you. Are we going to go and see it? Yeah, why not? School excursion? Yeah, we'll be let down together. Yeah, no, you might love it. I might. I am straight, 30-something-year-old guy.

That vertebrae on the back of the costume is fucking stupid. But anyway. Oh, well. No, well. You're going to show them all with our web series where our costumes are going to be great. Period. See what real period accuracy looks like stage a thing. I remember everything with a slight haze.

Okay. Okay. Time to end the world. Yes. This is how the world is. My turn. Yeah. I'm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm.

I'm going to do a little classic here this week. A gigantic woman approaches. A celestial form on the outskirts of the planet. And she looks down and casts judgment upon planet Earth. And while doing so, some little laser beams have shot out of her eyes and started a small fire. That fire is escalated and the whole world is set ablaze and everything burns. Oh, God. Well, another great work then, darling.

I think that's good. What if the lasers just burn like the fire cannot be put out as well? Yeah. Also, the fire is violet in colour. Oh, good. That's nice. Okay, let's take a break.

Welcome back. Hello. Hey. Oh, hello. Hi. Hey, there. We have your speakhole message. Speakhole, of course, is a new technology that we're trying out on the pod.

Called speakpipe.com slash death to everyone, where you, listener, can leave us little messages. and then we'll rip them apart for the enjoyment of all the other listeners. Yeah, it's fun. It's a game we play with your heart. I actually really enjoy it. Okay, so, Matt, could you play? Hi, Divas, love the pod. I've got a 2026 idea, a guest star that I think the world should learn

more about and that's miss jay i feel like we've all got a story about miss jay once she uh pulled my boyfriend into the side of her own circuit and sniffed his pits not realizing that he was my boyfriend and then when she realized she came out apologized and bought me a drink so she's a real girl's girl um that's all love the pod thanks wow wow that's such a good point we do need to have miss jay on the pod we should she is beyond one of the funniest ladies in the in the scene sometimes on purpose sometimes on accident

always fabulous always policing policing the vaping the vaping well thank you for your suggestion and if it does happen it wasn't your idea yeah we've actually had that written down

before this yeah actually 2026 maybe guests again yeah when do we give up when we had to schedule things why we're busy we're so busy maybe I'll get some guests for you Oh, yeah.

Oh, I mean, good, yeah. I know people. Yeah. Oh, yeah? Yeah. I'll tell you next week. All right. Okay, I can't wait to meet them.

You can't just be your wife or child. I do know some other people. Name them. Wait, no, next week. Yeah, I'll let you know. Give you some time to make them. Got to make some friends. Tracy.

Tracy Grimshaw. You're just reading the monitor's name. iMac well thank you and there's not much to dissect from that voice note I'm afraid

it sounds like Ms. Jay assaulted the boyfriend and then he got a drink out of it which kind of makes him the pimp who do you think sent that voice message I don't know yeah I mean I'm gay yeah real fraggot

Like Christopher Nolan. Maybe it was him. Maybe it was the guy from Stranger Things. Oh. Skeletor. What? Oh, no, the other one. Veldor.

Skeletor. Oh, Skeletor. No, no, the fact. Wait, if you had to, now, this isn't a category, but if you had to take one of those stranger things kids and throw them into a blender, no. Why is this just not a category? It's just spare one of the stranger kids' things from being thrown into a giant blender, which would it be in why?

Spare one. Yeah. Probably cheekbone. High cheekbones? Millie. Millie? Bobby Brown. Oh.

No. No. Absolutely not. Like, never ever. Also, no. Like, season one, endearing, who's this? Like, we've never... What?

Incredible. And the character, so fun. In all the homes. Yeah. Oh. As soon as we got to Enola, or whatever, it was all over. Imagine her being in a film with Henry Cavill. I can't.

Two disastrous people side by side. Yeah. I feel bad for her. And her performance this season, tragic. She's so over it. She's been over it for years. But I've actually been over it for longer. What?

You might be over it, but I've been over it for longer. Yeah. It's your real housewife? That's maybe. She's been over it for years, but I've been over it for more years. She, I know this is a bit of a like a, um, meme on Twitter, but like, it is crazy that they let her get so much botulism in the face before the season began. She can't move.

And she's 21. And her lips are so giant, almost. Well, the lips I think were less, like, noticeable for me. because I have the blindness of like oh that's what everyone looks like but um the the lack of move and I'm like diva what are you doing wait or do it earlier but you can't be like sorry going to the clinic BRB like the second you start rolling and just there's no consistent like the character is just so

wooden and especially after years and years in universe like she was more like I'm shy and I've you know just escaped so I'm I don't know how to interact with the world of season one which was like charming and mysterious but now it's like what put a sentence together get real get real or be more broken and weird instead she's just like hey you said you made a promise okay oh it's just so bad i actually hate it all right well let's move on no no well we talked enough about this one one more she's wearing a body glove wet suit which i thought was quite cute i hate that that i mean like i felt poorly for this woman like obviously i i was like i think that the botox is a protest i didn't think she wanted to be there as you said but i think

Like, the creators were, like, clearly hated her. Because you don't put someone in that wetsuit all season long. Well, the whole, the season long outfit of, like, the track suit, wet suit was disgusting. It's crazy. At least when it was just the wetsuit, it was like, well, I see now that she's wearing a wetsuit, not just dressed like a insane person. Yeah. But it's not flattering.

No. No, and she's got, like, this incredible fit little binty bod. Yeah, yeah. And I'm like, get her out of that wet suit. Let this woman live. Whereas Ms. Sink has, like, I've been living in a cave hair and she still looks hot. Oh, that was the redhead who's been in the sadness cave. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I did love it work because I hadn't seen any of the show and it got back to her and she's in a wheelchair. And it was such like a, like, oh, I really have missed something here. Like soap opera thing where it's like, now she's in a wheelchair. Yes. It's. Yeah. Um, okay, so we're going to spare cheekbones, which is Finn, Finn, old Skeletor. Skeletor, yeah.

You've been saved, Skeletor. The rest are into the, um, boost juice blender. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I always think as well, now that it's coming to end, which one's going to die first of a drug overdose? Ooh. Hmm.

Yeah. Oh, time will tell. Time will tell. Time we'll tell, and we'll be here to tell it. We'll be right back. Hi, there. There, it's no. We're back.

Um, okay. So, I have had a recent revelation as a result of the Plex being really slow recently. Sorry, Luke. And Luke even said that they'd sped up the Plex. Yeah. But then I'd put all my baskets in the Plex. I'm on Plex time now. I can't go back to NetPlex. Oh, we're not going back. But it's really hard when the Plex is slow and not loading the John Candy documentary, I'm trying to want. the diner riders episode I'm up to and so instead I'm like okay well I'll go on YouTube while this kind of peak hour dies down because I know Zelda's probably trying to watch

diner riders and that's keeping all over the server well I can't only watch it in the highest quality and so I was like okay well what's YouTube got and I couldn't subject my husband to get another round of some woman talking about how she's making a new briefcase out of books or something But then I discovered that the movie selection on the free movies available to viewers of YouTube

has now suddenly blossomed into something quite special. Like there's a lot of free movies. I don't think you knew that you could get on your YouTube subscription. I don't know anything, what you're saying. Yeah. So let me tell you the surprise I had when I rolled into that section. And these are the films that I'd like you to select. One, to go into the bunker.

Okay. And if you don't know what the film is, I can tell you. Okay, Jason the Pussycats, as discussed, is on free. Cool. You can watch Missy Pyle, Parker Posey right now for free on YouTube. Uptown Girls, Brittany Murphy, Dakota Fanning. Black Knight, Martin Lawrence, is a black man who goes back to medieval England, right? And they're like, what's going on?

Okay. Orange County, Jack Black, goes to Orange County. Fargo, Coen Brothers Classic Film. Mm-hmm. Okay. That's not a sci-fi. No. No.

It's about North Dakota. Oh. Oh. You'd love it. Okay. Francis Bing Dormant. Okay. Beautician in the Beast.

Yes. Fran Drescia. Yes. Fran Drescia goes to a small country. An Eastern European country? Yes. Pierce-Brusnan country. Well, it's not.

It's, what's his name? Pierce-Bruson. Dalton? Timothy Dalton. What? Yeah. The other bond. I knew your cosmetologist

mistakenly thought to be a science teacher has offered a job to teach the children of an Eastern European dictator. It's such a good concept that she hadn't really done before, you know, a woman who's underqualified teaching three children. He looks like he's styled

to be on Red Alert 3. Yes, yeah. He's got a mustache. But it's great because she teaches him how to soften up. And it gives freedom to his people, I think, at the end. And because Maggie, or the girl that's playing the Maggie equivalent, is trying to date a man from, like, the poorness place. No, she's dating a rebel who's going, he's, like, going against the government.

Can I tell you, I found three reviews. or like summaries. On IMDB, it's 5.5 out of 10. Cruel. Insane. Rotten tomatoes, 23%. eBay Australia, 4.8 out of 5. That's the...

I got to eBay for all my film movies. Yeah, right. What are they saying on Rotten Tomatoes? I want to know... Well, thankfully YouTube doesn't give a rating. And it just said, I chuckled at one hour 10 minutes. Oh, my God. This, a wildly uneven story.

underrated movie Fran Fine is Joey Miller wonder what Mr. Sheffield will scream at her now The beautician and the beast made me laugh But each laugh was an island Entirely onto itself

They didn't die together They didn't Oh they didn't I'm sorry They didn't tie together into anything interesting Oh wait that was Roger Ebert Very nice movie to watch Thank you so much

I really enjoyed it. I hate this. Drescia does her best, and she's very likable and charming, whatever her dramatic limitations. Oh. Oh. Oh, and who are you?

Daniel. Get him. These two actors have such talent and such true classic chemistry, as well as respect. Too rare these days, and lovely to be seen again. Thank you.

Great watch. Love these two together. Lovely. Heart emoji. Look at her. Look at the midriff. She looks incredible. Come on.

I love this woman. Okay. What are other movies that you're going to say before? Storytime with Celestial Grace. Who's that you? A little bit Jewie for my taste. Sorry? YouTube.

What? Sorry? I'm sorry. Do we? It's Fran Dresha. What the fuck did you expect? Oh. Oh, my God.

Okay, what other films are there? Well, I'm just getting over that anti-Semitism in the comment. Okay, so first thing you're going to spot is Mean Girls 2. And then Agent Cody Banks 2, which is Agent Cody Banks, colon, destination, London. Great movie. Where else did you expect him to go? Who's the girl in that? Amanda Binds.

No, no, she was in Big Fat Lai. Natalie Portman Amanda. No, he wanted Amanda Bynes to be in it. But Hillary Duff was in Agent Cody Bings. But now... Who is Agent Cody Banks? Agent Cody Banks. Agent Cody Banks.

Thank you, but... Oh, right. A handsome, often hilarious comedy adventure. Frankie Munez is up to his backpack and intrigue as Secret Agent Cody Banks in this awesome action adventure co-starring Anthony Anderson from barbershop

and Hannah Spirit Spirit from S Club 7 Hannah Spirit That sounds like a great film that I will watch Then we have Mummy Dearest Faye Dunaway We have Queen Latifah's last holiday A woman who thinks she's dying of terminal cancer

Goes on a big blowout last holiday Only to find out that she's not dying at all but she still spent all her money. Uh-oh. Ben, her. The Man Who knew Too Little, which is the film that I thought only existed. If you want to replicate the experience of going to a blockbuster,

like these films are like perfectly calibrated because it's like maybe you recognize the name, but like not the form, like Mean Girls 2. Or maybe you recognize an actor in it. but not anything to do with the film but like as a kid you would rent it because you're just like well this cover is nice yeah yeah yeah so

Bill Murray in the man who knew too little is like a man who thinks he's doing like an interactive theatre piece in London and actually just gets wrapped up in a true intrigue crime but he thinks everyone's acting around him so he just keeps making really

brash jokes while people are trying to kill him see it's that kind of laugh the entire way through. It's just like, oh, that's crazy. The joke never lets up. Even at the very end of the film, he doesn't know that it was all just a real thing and that he actually saved the world. Bill Murray?

Yeah. Speed Racer, the iconic film from the Wakowski sisters. I actually haven't seen it. It's crazy. But like, watch it. It's ugly to look at. Is it ugly? It's really ugly to look at, but kind of an iconic way. Like, Spy.

Kids, like, 3D. Yeah. I do need to see it. I'm so curious. It's fun. Okay. But insane. Yeah.

Rain Man? Rain on. Draft Day, which is the Kevin Costner film about a man who's, he fired his father from owning a football team. And then it's coming up to draft day where they get to pick their players for the football team. Zelda, I watched that entire film last night. And what's your review? out of 10? It's terrible.

But also Kevin Costner of Waterworld fame. Yes. And Robin Hood. Yes. It's meant to be believably in like a thing with Jennifer Garner as his love interests. Alias. Alias. But they're different ages.

Very different ages. But it's never addressed. But I watched it because the guy from the podcast I like, Blank Check, it's like his biggest screen credit. And he plays the kind of gimpy assistant. Gimpy. And I watch the entire thing. And it has Ellen Birsten and I said, the mother, who's from Requiem for a Dream.

And so when she comes out and she's like, come with me, baby, let's go outside. I'm like, oh, no. That's the same woman that's like, getting their brain fried out. Oh, that's good. From the appeals. Anyway, Monte Carlo, the haunting. Asia Cody Bank's original flavor. Delmer and Louise, okay, when Harry met Sally, okay, the real one.

My sister's favorite movie of all time, Soul Plain, Manikin, Kim Katrall. Okay, then we have the way back, okay, fences, serious drama, Pluto Nash, Annie Murphy. Child's play, the horror film about Chuckie, the evil doll, okay, Michael Clayton, if you're looking for a bit of your man. What's his name? Elijah Wood. Labyrinth with David Bowie. David.

David. You know, Oklahoma, the remake of the invasion of the body snatches, but with Nicole Kidman. Can I just say, Eman, David Bowie's wife, posted a video just after Christmas where she's in this beautiful, like, Christmas-y kind of like themed gown. and she just looks at the camera and says something to the effect of like don't ever be an option, be the only choice. That's it.

It sounds like she's killing the other people that might get in her way. Yeah. The film Biodome. Oh yeah. Yeah? I think you've got a pretty good cross-section now. Do you understand the film?

Network, another face. done away incredible film that's actually really good um yeah you've got like you've got the UFO movie they don't want you to see that's the name of the film that's the name of the film hmm teen witch yeah um the original cool yeah what do you think um what do you think okay well i mean bandits petition the beast is obviously great choice they've got bandits as well bandits as well bandits you

know with Cape Blanket oh yeah and Billy Bob which one do you want sister I mean I'm happy to do beautician in the beast because I might watch that tonight you can only watch what's in the bunker from now on

they also have Memento if you're looking for some Christopher Nolan film that's one where it gets tattooed little clues all over him oh no I kind of wish Waterworld was in there after talking about it so much.

I know. What about Joe somebody? Who? Mermaids with Cher. Oh. That's on there. Hmm. Fern Gully, the last rainforest.

Oh. Cats and dogs. Cats and dogs is the only way to go to the movies. That was the ad. What about Miloanodus instead? Well, that's not on here. I see. You know?

Oh, first daughter. Katie Holmes. plays the first daughter to the president, but she still wants to find love and be a normal girl. What do you think she's doing right now? She's in a play. Apparently she's terrible.

Oh, yeah. She's not married to Tom Cruise anymore, hey. Bitch, what are you talking about? She's not being married to Com Cruise for a thousand years. Are you happy about that? I don't often think about it. I think that she is a spectacularly beautiful woman.

Yes. Who in a perfect world would play Britney Spears in the biopic of Britney Spears. Brittany Spears. But the world isn't ready for that conversation. Matt, do you have any favourites from that list? I like Fargo. It's one of my old-time faves. Are you surprised that it's on YouTube? Give me a bit of heat for that.

Yeah, that's cool. Come on. That's free. It's for free. You don't even have to have in a subscription. Oh my God, they have Cats and Dogs 2, Revenge of Kitty Galore. Should I see this movie? Catch and Dogs 1? Fargo. Who's this fabulous woman?

Oh my God. Princess McDormon. Francis McDonoughman. You should watch that film. Absolutely, you should watch that film. She's so beautiful. Look that face. Quite a handsome face, I would say.

Yeah, well, she's, you'll love her in this film. I want to watch this. Well, you can for free. All right, maybe I will. Okay. Cancel all your subscriptions. Cancel this show. We're going to go on watch.

that film. This is now a weekly podcast where we watch Fargo. Where we watch everything for free on YouTube. Okay. A film called Riptide? Nope. Dashing home for Christmas? Hmm.

The underdogs? Enough. Oh, sorry. Which film? Whitney Houston, born to sing. Hmm. Okay. I think...

And we already have a friend dresser in the bunker. I mean, she could just run across and press play on her nights when she wants a night off. But do you think that that's a night off for her or she'll overanalyze and think about those 23% rating on Toronto. Well, all the people that wrote that are dead. True. They were burnt by that gigantic woman. Exactly.

And Roger Ebert's already dead. So she didn't have to worry about him judging her over again. Well, it's a great DVD cover. Yeah. Yeah. Jess cover perhaps. And that weird, awful man in the comments saying that it was too Jewy to what?

Yes. He's dead too. You're right. Let's put it in. Let's put it in. Sorry, cats and dogs too. Revenge of Kitty galore. You'll never be in the bunker.

Ha! Did you hear about the schism happening in the Beckham household? About the child that... Yeah. Yeah. Wait, there's new updates? Brooklyn. Brookie Lynn.

Brooklyn has cut ties. Another one. No, the same one. That's the same one. He blocked them. Yeah. Yeah. Did you hear about this?

Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. Isn't it crazy? It's crazy. Yeah. Does it make you sad? Yeah.

I just want them to have a good time. I just can't imagine as if you want to hang out with your wife and not Victoria Beckham. Like, right. Fucking loser. Yeah. Yeah. It's, yeah. But it does make me sad.

Like, I mean, to. an extent because they seem like such a fabulous little unit right but no i guess not or i don't know brooklyn get your shit together call your wife i mean your mother your mother wife yeah yeah i don't know she has a really rich family as well but also when i was listening to who weekly they were saying like it's crazy because he spent christmas with her but her family's jewish what were they doing not watching a beautician

in the beast don't wait a okay we'll be right back we're back hello we're back

we're back now we've done a listener sandwich today because we have an email from

From someone. Oh my God. Why are you saying everything so slowly? Liam. Dear space car driver, Matt. Oh, it's to me. For I dare not address the celestial goddesses directly. Thank you. Care.

Good. Speak. And only look at us through a mirror. Matt. Tonight at the Melbourne Art Center, I saw celestial goddess, Lazy Susan, take human form for an evening to perform a Tony worthy role as Marion in the Fountain Lakes Christmas drag parody play.

Hello. Me, Marion. The show was a festive delight. And once the sound of riotous a pause faded, I was left with the question, which Christmas food, be it snack, meal or dessert, Puddy, thank you, makes it into the bunker.

Festively yours, a listener. Oh, sorry, I said your first name. Well, we shouldn't be allowed to have that. information. Yes, well, thank you so much for coming to see the show. I did have fun. This is now a little bit out of date. Listener, it's New Year's, it's 2026.

Yeah, why did you send your email three weeks ago? That's so weird. You should have sent it another three weeks earlier. Yeah. Christmas this year, what foods did I eat? Gingerbread, fudge. Oh, actually, you know what I had that was really good? Aw.

Fucking chocolate-coated pretzels. Is that Christmas food? Do you know about Christmas crack? Christmas crack? Yes! When did this happen? I know. It's like Elf in the Shelf.

Every year they're inventing new things. We're like, I've done this with my family forever and you're like, no, you haven't. Until you haven't? You didn't tell me. Yeah. Or the rest of society. Matt, do you know about Christmas crack? No, I thought you were joking.

No. It's like, it's like. You know bark? Chocolate bark. Yeah, chocolate bark. It's like chocolate. Are we talking about the same thing? I think.

With like a, like a caramel bottom. Yeah. And then, like, chocolate and pretzels or something smashed in and melted down. Yeah, and then it's like one, and you just cut, take shards of it. Like, rocky road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, kind of like that. Mm.

Except where that marshmallows. Yeah. Quite thin, incredibly delicious and addictive. Yeah. But get us away from me. I've got a caramel crust. Yeah. And then chocolate and pretzels on the top.

Yeah. Cool. Delicious. It's so good. Maybe, like, some little M&Ms in there as well. Maybe. Yeah. Maybe.

If you buy. But people were bringing it to work every other day. Really? It was just crack for like two weeks. It's an epidemic. Yes. But God, it's delicious. So that was quite good.

Do you know what I really like? Yeah. And I've spoken about this before. I love fruit pudding. I love Christmas pudding. I love how dense it is. I love how spiced it is. I like that it doesn't have any icing,

but you can add custody if you want I like that you can light it on fire I like that you put it in fabric that's cool how many cakes have an outfit cheesecloth do you say that Zelda

sorry it's yes anding well no but your butt you butt yeah bud I don't like it I don't like it either

yeah we don't like it no my mom makes it every year and it's like it Like, Christmas party. Stop. I love that. When they have the red glashade cherries in it.

That I like. They're so sweet and delicious. I like it soaked in alcohol. It's a bit too fruity for me. Oh. Like Christopher Nolan. Okay, well, fine. Fuck me.

What are you like? So this year I... It's got to be an actual Christmas food. Not just a food you had at the same time as Christmas. Yeah, Zelda. Well, then... She didn't even say anything. I was going to say my nod as green beans,

and then my brother made some really good coloured potatoes. But what I'll say instead is, I don't know, Pavlovra, I guess. Yeah, yeah. It's pretty good. It's good. It's actually so insanely good. Is that Christmas?

I guess it's Christmas, isn't it? It's Australian Christmas. It's like Oziana Christmas. Yeah. You don't really have it any other time of year. Someone made a tiramisu as well. Tiramisu kind of is, but you also get that other times in the year. Yeah.

Or trifle. There was a trifle. Triphle I would put in Christmas category. Yeah. Because no one's fucking around with trifle. Triphal is such a weird sweet soup. Yeah. Yeah.

It's good. It is. But Pavlova is better. Yes. Like. Pavlov is hectic, though. No, I don't, I don't like it either. You don't like Pavlova?

No. Well, well, well. Well, okay, here's something that you don't know about me that's really weird. I get a lot of judgment for this, so please try and be kind. Okay. I'm putting on my kind, Dad. I don't like berries. Hmm.

Eh, I feel nothing about that. Berries. Strawberry? No, any berries. Blueberries? No, no blueberries. Raspberries? No.

Raspberries, quite tough. No. What do you think is so different about berries to like an apricot? The pop when you eat them. Oh, it's the bug thing. But strawberries don't pop, man. No, but I think because I've associated all berries with bugs, eating bugs now that I've kind of just like put it in the same category. That's like a mental illness, man.

Yeah, I know. You're mentally unwell. I could probably train myself to get out of it, but I just don't, I don't want it. You're raising a human being that has to exist in a society. Yeah, she loves berries. Would you have berries in a smoothie? Yeah, yeah. Bavoured, very flavored things, if I am.

You don't delight in the popping? No. You said it's scared, and you said that just there. I do, I am. Matt, this is a real thing. I have a fear of eating bugs. What about the future? I told you it's a phobia.

What about the future where they say that we need to convert to eating bug protein? Well, if they do it in a smoothie. I'll be fine. Let's see. Okay. Well, what if all the blenders are working that day? Yeah. What if we don't have blenders?

Exactly. I guess I'll just mash them with a rock. Boost bugs. In the wasteland. Oh, interesting. Peace. You know, I don't think we're going to have picky eaters in the wasteland. I'll put it on toast.

You know, thrown away our gorgeous protein on like half left of it on the rock. You got to lick that up. Lick it up. I'll lick it off the rock. Don't worry. there we go okay well as long as Matt's licking it off the rock

then you can have whatever you are but you gotta lick it off both rocks the pound and rock and the like bowl rock yeah yeah yeah which I soon would be like just a large bowl moulded into the earth I'll just be human skull

oh okay you'll need quite a strong skull yeah yeah like a thick skull um was a half a half skull Yeah

Yeah So Christmas food you said was Pavlova You said was trifle I said was pudding I mean spritz is also a Christmas food Sprits It's a beverage that's completely clear But has flavour

What about appletiser Appletiser is also a Christmas food It's also your mum just graduated Oh from like We're having a toast Like mature age, learning. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like the beautician. Mutician school. And then like apple tiser to celebrate? Yeah. Why not chambanga? No, the kids have apple tidesa while the parents celebrate.

You have fun drink as well. It's sparkling, but. Yeah, I don't think that counts. Sorry, Selba. Oh, what? Sorry, apple tiser isn't exclusive to Christmas. Oh. Particularly not in your household.

You love an apple tiser. Apple tizers is. a delight. Yeah, so you're not just having it at Christmas. Oh, wow. I never have it, but... But you could.

I could. And you would. What do you think about eggnog? I've never had eggnog. Ever. Have you? I assume it's custard, right? It's just eggs and alcohol.

Oh, that sounds great. Does it? Well, if you get rid of the eggs. Just give me the nog. Well, that's in the Fountain Lakes Christmas. It's a great line. where she's like we've got enough like money this year because it's cost of living so we're just going to like go without the eggs and the egg gong and just like what's that nogg yeah and so then

I made up a little black and gold carton that just said nog I was very proud of my fake branding work anyway um yeah I think what else is Christmas I guess it's just like what's a Christmas roast but that feels like not even specific to Christmas candy canes of Christmas? No the roast has to have cranberry sauce on it doesn't it? Yeah.

And gravy. It would be like old time like sugar plum fairy sort of stuff. The old England. Sugar plums apparently are just like a coated nut in sugar. Oh. Not a plum at all.

Not a plum. And they apparently take like years to make in the old-timey way. that's cool what about candy canes yeah when you suck on one in and turn it into a little spear

yeah that is good stab your school friend that is cool I always think about that like what if I was going to take something on a plane to like hijack the plane and I was trying to get around just a boiled sweep

well yeah I could probably take a candy cane and they'd be like watching me in the 30 minutes before my attack like sucking it down And then my attack would begin And then I'd be like, oh my God, I'm crashing. There's a lot of sugar.

And you've got the little stained bits on the outside of your mouth. Blueberry, I thought it was going to be good. You know how sometimes Red Rock Deli chili chips make it feel like your tongue's been cut apart? Yes. I feel like Candy cane does that as well. Yeah, Candy cane lane. Yeah, hate that. yeah candy can's a good one um it's very christmas

what i gingerbread house so oh yeah gingerbread house that's good i love that it's good but it's a bit dry you need to dunk it in something gingerbread should be spongy not cracky hmm true um what was i going to say the oh children at my children aren't a Christmas food, Zelda. No, maniac. But the children that were eating food at Christmas, ugh, so many of them were gifted little chocolate Advent calendars, and I realized that on the last day of the Advent,

you could just open all the doors and feast yourself. But that's not really the spirit of the Advent calendar. It's one tree today. Actually. And how many do you think they had on day one? How many? Like half the fucking box. Really?

opening up another window for a little chalky. Oh, December 1st? Oh, on Christmas Day. No, but they were, like, gifted it on Christmas Day. So they just ate the whole. Oh, wait. So that's okay, because when are they ever going to catch up? Because, like, just have it from 21st of December to, like, I don't know.

Okay, I was on your side of January or something. Because then you get a little treat a day. They've already done the work. Of what, living through December? Yes, they didn't have the calendar yet. That's the parents' fault. That's not the kid's fault. But do you know what?

I think if you were looking for, like, an example of, like, something that would make me, like, get the ick with my own child, it'd be, like, watching them open multiple doors on an advent calendar. Yeah. Because there's no way of not looking like a fucking slob. Yeah. I'm just, I have to have another one. Because it's the tiny door.

Yes. Like, you look crazy. And you just be sitting in the chair. The high back chair saying, you disgust me. No, I would kind of make a face and then not say anything, but it would kind of haunt me. And then later at night, Can you give me a hug, Daddy, when I go to bed?

Not tonight. Yeah. I think I would like be like, it's not that I don't love you, it's that I love you less. You know? Yeah. You've used up some of my love.

Yeah. Like you can win. it back maybe if you're good at like sports or something you make money become president yeah if you make money as a child actor yeah I don't know and it's like

it's not it wouldn't be the case if they like ate a whole bag of mini M&Ms or something while I was watching I'd be like you go girl yeah it's just the fact that it's the number doors yeah yeah you see those kids that like open up all their presence

that their mother like meticulously wrap like at three in the morning and she comes out and it looks like there's been a hurricane and she didn't get to film it for her Instagram oh yeah that's so sad rough day rough day Jesus wouldn't have wanted this no I also think like yeah anything like that would also give me the ick with a child yeah Christmas is really when the ugliness comes out in children yeah it's the greed yeah it's the greed yeah and they have the The look on some of my nephew's faces when they opened my gifts this year and saw that it wasn't a switch to was...

Zelda, that just sent a chill through my spine. That was so foul. It was like, you used to be so sweet. And now you think I'm buying you a switch too? Well, you did buy them a switch last year, didn't you? I put them a switch like many years ago, but a collective switch. Yeah, well, you've set the precedent. Also, they don't need a fucking switch to.

No. See, that's why you don't buy anything good. You just always buy like slightly less shitty presents every year. So they think, oh, wow, a bit better than last year. Yeah. You really do need to watch that. My two-year-old asked for, because she didn't really understand Christmas. So all she asked for was a lollipop and a pair of scissors.

See, that's so innocent and beautiful. It sounds like she's planning on a tribe. Yeah, she's going to take over a plane Yeah Flying soon man Sharp in the lollipop Yeah That's how we're going to get more gifts

Shank I was talking to this guy in Tazzy And he was like this very sweet Very down the line kind of guy And he was like I remember when I was young I used to Always wish for infinite wishes

when it was my birthday and then I wasn't sure if it was coming true or not because there's no way of knowing whether the infinite wishes are happening so he's like then I tested it and said I wish that a helicopter would land in my house

like backyard in the next three minutes and then when that didn't happen he knew that magic wasn't really wow yeah but he had tests that's a science experiments you need to do as a kid he had a test Oh, right, yeah.

I don't know that magic appreciates being tested. No, you can't. Also, it's like, what's the work around there? Yeah, the helicopter did land in your future home. You know what I mean? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like, whatever.

Mm-hmm. You don't own a home yet, sweaty. Also, like, we have been, you know, getting some stuff together for some tarot. Mm-hmm. Because Zella and I have plans. but I've been doing some research into terror so I bought a tarot deck and as a fun little laugh

before I went to Tazzy both Curgeon and I pulled a card and one card was like the High Empress and it was like you're going to meet a fabulous woman

which we did and then Curgeon pulled a card and it was the Ten of Swords which is like shit's going to go bad like watch out bitch and you didn't see that shit well

with the whole time and Kerchant was a bit like oh no the tennis swords like you know whenever we were having a funny like fuck you like I have a tennis

but then I thought like you know by the whole time I was like what's going on with this tennis swords in our magic spell and then at the end we realized

that they were related and that that girl is having a tennis swords kind of time because she was having a tennis sword ten of time. Wow. And it wasn't us at all.

It was just that we were going to meet someone going through a tennis sword. Yeah. And that's how we tested the magic. And she delivered. She delivered. A fabulous woman. You just have to be really to readjust what your expectations are and change them to whatever fit. Yes.

Hmm. Do be like that. I think it's Christmas crack or candy cane stab. I think candy cane. Candy cane stab it is. And that way Matt's daughter will be happy if she comes to visit. Is it? That's what she asked for.

So this week, we have a candy cane. Sharpen to a point. Sharpen to a point after some sucking. The film, beautician and the beast. Yeah. Available for free in the bunker. Yes. With kind of, yeah, debatable ethics with Fran kind of just jumping in there to support a dictator in a foreign land.

Hmm. but she sorted it out, I think. Yeah, I think. And then we listened to your incredible voicemail and then we also saved Wolf, Finn Wolfhardt from the brandy. Okay, well, have a nice life, everyone. Goodbye and happy new year. Ciao.

Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Match Years. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at death everyone pod at gmail.com. or speakpipe.com slash death to everyone and while you're doing so won't you support us please patreon.com slash death to everyone. Bye bye bye