Death To Everyone - Death To... Street Fighter, Experiments & Road types

Episode Date: May 28, 2024

Apologies to the cloned dogs of Barbra Streisand! This week the celestial goddesses have concise discussion finishing in informed decisions based on facts and evidence. Tickets to the LIVE show: https://www.comedyrepublic.com.au/event/38:345/38:1034/ Follow us, won't you? ⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/

🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 Hello everyone! Oh, Dasha. Dasha. Hello, I'm Lazy... Hello, sorry. Hi!

Hey! Sorry to interrupt you. Oh, sorry. I am Lazy... Sorry. Sorry to interrupt. My name is Lazy Susan. Hello. My name is Zelda Moon. Oh, that is such a beautiful name. Thank you.

Where did you get it? Susan, was it? Lazy. Oh, yes. My friends just call me Lazy. Oh, so Susan, how... Do you have a question? Yeah.

Go on. How old are you? You're only as old as the man you feel Pardon? What? Who said that? And welcome to Death to Everyone A podcast lifestyle event And it's a show

Yeah About two beautiful women That's us We're also gods. Yes. And we live in the celestial void. Of course. But occasionally we take our space car to this recording studio.

Driving the space car is... Our producer. Matt, are you there? Matt Shears. Oi! Oh. Get back in the space car. And we do exchange some pleasantries at the start of each episode. And then we dive into the meat of things.

Right at the meat of things. That's where you are. The meat. Right at the meat of things. You stay right there. Right at the meat of things. Do you know what that is? No.

Elizabeth Taylor. Oh. Right at the meat of things. You are at the meat of things. Not like old Georgie over here. He's a swamp. The old swamp swamp hog swamp hog okay so then at the meat of things we decide what will go into a bunker to be saved from an

impending apocalypse apocalypse and uh you know what we've've recently... So, listener. Yeah. This is actually an ad for our Patreon account. Because we officially have a long promised thing for Patreon. We've run a Patreon for years now. But now we're going to put something on it. Yeah. So, if you do sign up to our Patreon or have done in the past, first of all, thank you very much. You're already on there. It sucked in.

We, there's people who have been on there for years. They're the good ones. And like, thank you. Genuinely. Truly. You got Zelda some really hard times.

She was wearing rags. And so if you, you will get access to our discord account. if you don't know what discord is listener shame on you but uh basically it's like a chat room kind of forum and i send messenger it's just a messenger well kind of but they're all like say that but like what else is discord doing everyone pretends like discord is like an unable thing. It's just a fucking chat room. Yeah. And so you'll get access to the Death to Everyone Discord,

where we can chat about all sorts of fun things. And once or twice a week, Lazy One and I will have a look. She'll generally be popping off about something to do with one of her niche favorite fans. And I'll be really neglected in the lazy room. Well. Wondering why no one wants to ask me about what's going on with Fran Lebowitz right now. Exactly.

And, listener, coming to Patreon this week will be the official Death to Everyone Contents of the bunker spreadsheet incredible and that is my pitch to you to support us and in doing so we will support you by providing you with one thing and in the coming month we also will be doing a new little content series yeah on the over the course of this show you've discovered a lot of uh cultural blind spots that both zelda and i have yeah um so we will be trying to fill in pave over um those little spots in our knowledge by watching or playing or whatever the fuck so we're going to be watching like a movie that zelda i haven't seen and we will do like a live watch and you can watch along at home if you'd like yeah like a movie club like a commentary yeah uh it'll be much more free form and uh

disgusting production yes but we'll do like one a month or something yeah one a month that's all you're getting but um yeah we don't know yet which um which film thing we're gonna do but we know that there's quite a lot of ones that have been, people have been shocked that either you or I didn't know. Like, for example, I've never seen E.T. or Sound of Music or Sister Act 2. Yes. Zelda's never seen The Parent Trap.

Yeah. All those other things. Or Shrek. Or Shrek. You know, I want to say, like, I'm going to say, like, maybe once a week, someone in my life found out that I haven't seen Shrek, and i get

the same reaction every time yeah it's disgust yeah like your shrek which you'll understand after you've seen shrek it's based on your life actually someone one of the gals at work was showing me so okay we got these like new lip plumper products at work your mystery job yeah just yeah good work veil imaginable um oh wouldn't that be nice the thinnest veil of the world i would love oh just something to obscure me a little all right that's like what princess fiona would like you'll understand that after you see Shrek. Anyway. And, oh, my God. I love plumping lip gloss. Like, I fucking love it.

Like, every time I do drag, I will get a pumping. Like, it's just so good. It's so weird. It's so funny. Anyway, so we have this new one. It's really good. And we all put it on. And made out.

And then one of the gals was like, oh, it looks like, here, a little bit, from Monsters, Inc. I was like, what? Roz? I don't know. Okay. It was like some monster with big lips. Okay. And I was like, no, it looks like the singer from Star Wars.

And then I showed them the picture of like, I can't remember their name. It's like, anyway. But it's a disgusting alien That sings a song in one of the movies And we both had very different cultural reference points And we just didn't meet in the middle However, we both had incredibly plumped up lips You never saw Monsters, Inc. either No

That's fun Yeah I feel like Dragon and Monsters from Monsters, Inc. have a lot in common. Dragon? Drag queens. We're drag queens. I was like, what's dragon? I love dragon.

Although, you know what? I do love dragon, but I've never seen Mulan. Yeah, the dragon really isn't. I mean, he is the sidekick, but he doesn't do a lot of dragon things. Oh, okay. He does a little bit, but nothing. Is he small? Like, is he baby?

Yeah. Or is that just full size? That's full size. Okay. That's pretty cute. I guess. Are there other dragons? No.

Okay. How are you? I'm good. I had my trivia last night. Yes. And how'd that go? I want to say, Zelda, I owe you an apology. You know, last i i may have

you know drawn out some of your questions with an intent to to ridicule you yes for how hard they were and then i did trivia and those little fucking cretins looked at me and said that was really. Someone said that the sound identification round that I'd planned called Sound Detective was the hardest round of trivia they've ever done. Wow. And I was like, just fucking, like, okay, wait. Hey, Matt.

Have you lived on this planet? Do you want to have a little go, Matt? I'll give you a little. Sure, okay, give me one, just one question this week. You don't want, you're a bit. I don't have time for other stuff. Yeah, I know you'll give you a little. Sure. Okay. Give me one, just one question this week. You don't want, you're a bit. I don't have time for other stuff. Yeah, I know you're really busy right now. Yeah.

Okay. This was, oh, wait, which one do I play? Okay. I think this one will be good. What is this from? I know I can make it through. If I'm all out. If I do

No, I don't know. I don't know. It's not ringing any bells at all. I can't be. It sounds 90s-ish. It's like a joyous... Imagine that you're a giant letter flying out of a computer through a school. A giant letter?

A letter. Zelda, you'll love this. Like a mail? Yeah, like it was actually like they physicalized like a version of an email, but it's like a girl sitting in the computer lab at school and then she sends an email. It's Degrassi, The Next Generation. I haven't seen that.

You've never seen that? No. And that's why your girlfriend got pregnant. Because you didn't know about proper condoms. You didn't learn the harsh lesson. Is that where you learned that? Yeah. And you don't know about Drake's humble beginnings.

Yeah, when he got shot at school and then he ended up in a wheelchair. Yeah. Do you know about this? No, no. The timeline goes drake's on uh degrassi next generation drake does that nikki minaj song and then drake is now drake yeah they're the three like key points in his life i believe yeah and now he's being uh in a big beef with kendrick lamar boring oh my god it's. I love it. They've been fighting so much.

Two men fighting. But it's getting really sassy. They ain't sassy. The thing about rappers is that when they have beef, they just write diss tracks for each other. And it's been going, but it kind of feels like it could get litigious any second now because they're making some pretty outlandish claims.

Yeah, but none of it's real, is it, really? Well, there's stuff like, I mean, he called Drake a pedophile. Jesus. And then said, yeah, and then said, like he had, like in an earlier beef it was revealed that Jake had a love child with a sex worker and like a hidden child. A child born of love? In an earlier beef.

Something with that? No, like it was just not business that the world needed to know, I suppose. Oh, that's true. Had been. Yeah.

And then Drake made some pretty crazy claims about Kendrick. Anyway, it's been good. Ah, it's been good. The songs are kind of mid, but fuck, I love a little beef.

That Nicki Minaj song is so good. Which one? Wish that I could have this moment for life. For life. For life. This is my moment. I waited all my. Drake's rap in it is so shit, though.

Oh. Ugh. Me and Nicki, Nickiy getting married today Okay anyway so I did trivia It was the death match but yeah there was like Well listen it was also not as Full as Zelda's was the week before Or our one was the week before That and I'm worried that we're falling

Off a cliff and Yeah I just I like we need To like we need to devise some fabulous promotional stunt to really get people in. Do you know what as well, though? When people video at the death match, there's just quite a plain background. I think we need something to kick it into gear and really just make it feel like a moment. Pizazz. Pizazz, honey. Did you use the smoke machine? Something to kick it into gear and really just make it feel like a moment. Pizazz. Pizazzle, honey.

Did you use the smoke machine? I didn't until the very end because it wasn't on until the very end. And then it was like after the team had won and the other one had lost, the smoke machine was right in front of the losing team. And I just held down the button until it stopped coming out, until they were completely engulfed in smoke and they were not having a good time. It's really stuffy in there sometimes. Yeah.

And it was literally just a cloud that was just around the losing table and I was like, obscure them. And then I played the Degrassi theme for like five times. Wait, did I tell you that last week I played Madonna's rap in American Life like five times. Wait, did I tell you that last week I played Madonna's rap in American Life like five times? Amazing. I love being the top bitch at a venue

because then you can just play the Degrassi theme five times. It's good. That's good. If I hold up, if I do, I know I can make it through. Yahoo!

That's good. Anyway, Angel of the Moon, what did you do? I know you didn't go to trivia. I didn't go to trivia I needed a night off I got home from work and I was mowing the lawn

those lips were plump dragging them around all day oh my god the neighbor looked over the fence and said who's that beautiful oh well there's two life preservers

mowing the lawn yeah and then I just had a very you know like quiet night at home oh good I watched another episode of Firefly which I hated take my love And then I just had a very You know like Quiet night at home Oh good I watched another episode of Firefly

Which I hated Take my love Take my love Not Firefly but the episode I watched What happened on the episode? It was You know what? I know the listener will love this

It was the It was the Um Christina Episode Almas Reynolds What? Like when she's like

I am betrothed to you Yeah boo Oh I loved that episode I didn't like it Why not?, when she's like, I am betrothed to you. Yeah, boo. Oh, I loved that episode. I didn't like it. Why not? Because, then it's like, it's a lie.

Yeah. And like, obviously. What, did you think so? Yeah. Oh. Because otherwise,

like, it was just too, like, no, I didn't like it. I loved when, spoiler alert, when Indara's like, I also got hit on the head.

That's why I was collapsed. Because she kissed Mal on the lips. For those of you who have watched. But then he, like, doesn't twig and she's standing there like, oh, what? It's a will they, won't they? Well, I hope they will. Well, we'll have to see She's incredible

Anyway We love her But So this is the story I was going to tell you Last night Well this morning I suppose I woke up from like a nightmare I guess And I was like

Like So worked up when I woke up So Yeah but like Also like i don't think i was crying but i was like oh my god like it was so intense so i had this dream that i had come oh i like well those weren't tears, darling. You good? Was your face covered in gum? Sorry.

That was disgusting. So, I had come home from like uni or something. Not that I boarded at uni. What size were your lips? But I got home like from this concept of like, it wasn't work, but like study. We're going to have to iron out these details before we put it on the air. And I got out and I was talking to family, I think, or friends. And I was like, where is my ex-boyfriend?

Where is Matt? Me. Where's Matt? my like ex-boyfriend um like where is matt me where's matt and they couldn't like they couldn't really answer and it was like oh he's and like almost like when they would try to answer if i was trying to like push it like their faces were kind of like erasing like they were unable to provide me with that information yeah and it was just like really stressful i was like i've been away at uni i think for months and now i want to see my partner like where is he yeah um and no one could help me out yeah then it was kind of like i had gotten home but like home home as in like to the house that i grew up in and my parents and my brother were there and then we were in the house and they were also like not able to help with this like missing boyfriend thing and then the house

started to splinter apart and we had to evacuate and there was like sirens and we had to evacuate the house and it was like sinking. Like the back half of the house was like ripping apart and sinking into the earth, but like fracturing off. And then we just watched as like the house kind of like literally fell apart and it was just so far. And I woke up and I was like what the hell and what do you think that means do you go in for that do you believe that dreams have meanings no no matt what do you think that dream means i have no idea like some dream analysis but you screaming where is my boyfriend to all your friends and loved ones then be like

i don't know no but it was very specifically about like my my ex matt yeah but we broke up like many years ago it's nice of him to still produce the show though but um like and i i don't know not that i i don't think of matt, but like, I wasn't thinking about him yesterday. You hear that, Matt? I hear that. I think about you. Like, Matt's fine. He's like living his life.

He's got a new partner, all this stuff. Like, it's just not a thing. Yeah. But like, also neither is that house. Like, my dad sold that house like three years ago now, and that was sad, but fine. And I, it just, all this stuff that i just hadn't thought and also like there was this element in the dream of like with the house ripping apart and my family and it's like oh no like it's all being torn apart i was like but then when i woke up i was

like i don't give a shit about that i think it's just growing up you know saying goodbye now i'm finally growing up this is know. Saying goodbye. I'm finally growing up. Moving out of my broken home. This is my Degrassi next generation. I fought for the boat. That is weird. That is weird. And it was like I was so stressed in the dream when I woke up. I was so wound up.

I was like, you're such a terrible sleeper though. It's really. You have really bad sleep hygiene. It's bad. Anyway. But apart from that, I'm good. That's really. Apart from the trauma. Yeah. That I'm good That's really Apart from the trauma That's good

My lawns have never looked better And then when we have a conversation about which dream gets into the bunker We can discuss whether that one gets in No, I hated that one I was told by my boyfriend Yesterday, well, this morning, he was like, I had a dream last night that you were going outside to smoke a big fat joint, which is unusual because I don't do that.

Yeah, sure. And then you said I couldn't come with you. I was like, oh, my God. He thinks I'm mean. Subconsciously. Yeah. But he did tell me, he was like, you've got to stop bullying Zelda on the podcast. And you and Matt are just ganging up on Zelda on the pod.

And I was like, if anything, I'm being bullied. Shut up. See? There she goes, telling me to shut up. You? Yeah. Oh, my God. That's, yeah.

Okay. Do you hear how she's? Sorry. Sorry, no, you go. No, no, I'm not even part of this podcast. No, my God. That's, yeah. Okay. Do you hear how she's... Sorry. Sorry, no, you go. No, no, I'm not even part of this podcast. No, you say. You say. I'm not technically part of it. Don't let Zelda silence you.

Oh, my God. I just think it's really funny when... It doesn't happen so much now, but when we first started dating, me and my wife now, she would get so angry at me in the morning Because there's something amazing I have to explain to her that's like You're thinking about Like that's your perception of me That's not what I'm actually

I'm done eating Yeah And yeah She should have taken that red flag The subconscious red flag Oh Yeah You reckon that's what that means

Yeah Yeah For sure Oh Oh my god Okay Yeah You reckon that's what that means Yeah Yeah For sure For sure Oh my god Okay Oh my god Oh my god

Yeah Alright Sister You Won't you tell the listener How does the world end this week? How does the world end? How does the world end?

Okay so I was listening to a podcast recently called Death to Everyone Yes the listener how does the world end this week how does the world end how's the world okay so i was listening to a podcast recently called death to everyone yes the only podcast yeah and uh they were talking about how the how the earth's crust works which i never really like consider because i feel like ground or being grounded is to consider like permanence you know whereas the ground is not permanent and but i think they said at minimum generally on average geologists have found that the entire earth's crust the earth on which we stand replaces itself every 200 million years over the course of 200 million years, like whatever's on the surface of the earth right now slowly works its way down through erosion

until it ends up underwater, at which point it ends up going into the earth's mantle and then getting melted and turned into molten rock and then spat back up through volcanic activity, et cetera, et cetera. Cool. Very cool. Very fabulous. Very interesting. rock and then spat back up through you know volcanic activity etc etc cool very cool very fabulous very interesting and um i think that that's quite chic they also said this fabulous thing about the himalayas that through the course of erosion if you were to go back to the himalayas in 200 million years it would be a meadow isn't that fabulous that's's so good Not a hill Just a meadow

Flat Wait Are you I also know this Were they talking about this on Girls Next Level? No How did I know this?

I said that to you Did you? Yeah I told you that story Because I thought you might like it And now I'm telling it again Because I think you Listener might like it

But This is how it ends 200 million years go by and everyone gets eroded incredible except for the people in our bunker well 200 million years in the future yes and that's my story oh i'm sticking to it. That's incredible. Thank you. Thank you. I started saying before, oh, because I went on the Patreon thing instead. But Lazy Susan and I.

That's me. Just before we get into it. Just before we get into it. Dive in. We have our live show coming up. Live. Well, it's called Death to Everyone Live

And we hope you've bought tickets If not, please do Are you going to say what I think you're going to say? I think so Yeah But we've been working on some very special merchandise To have at the event And in doing so, we've been revising, you know,

just making like crossing our T's and dotting our I's, as they say, for all of the current things in the bunker. So that's why the list is ready to go on Patreon. But never fear because you can, I don't know, I don't want to say. No, say. I'll say. Yeah. Okay. So we've split the workload. Never fear because you can, I don't know, I don't want to say. No, say. Oh, say? Yeah.

Okay, so we've split the workload. We've split the load. Maximum. Ew. I didn't say anything disgusting. You know, like efficiency. Yeah. Lazy Susan has put together some incredible newspaper articles direct from the bunker.

Well, I think you need to tell them what the product is and then work backwards from there Oh is that what you think? I think Well why don't you do that? Well just saying She's made newspaper articles without information Yeah well I was gonna say

No I'll let you do it Okay So Lazy Susan has been making these newspaper articles And if you could imagine What do newspaper articles go into? Well they go into a newspaper darling direct from the bunker and i've been working on a fabulous floor plan of the bunker so that everybody knows exactly where shakira's balcony is yeah and how to get there um but

yeah all the inhabitants are there and the news articles, so I read it last night with delight. Yeah, so we're producing an in-world broadsheet-sized newspaper on one side that turns out and folds out into a full-size map of the bunker. So a massive thing you could put on your wall or you could keep as a little keepsake. It's weirdly expensive to get fake newspapers printed and we got 100 of them and we hope that someone buys as a little keepsake. It's weirdly expensive to get fake newspapers printed. And we got 100 of them. And we hope that someone buys this incredibly laborious print thing.

It might be the most expensive piece of merch we've ever made. Yeah, I know, right. Do we even get 100? Yeah. And there's 130 seats at the Live show. And I want two. One for my wall and one for my... Just to have. Your memory box. And we've got to give one to Matt. And I want two. One for my wall and one for my... Just a memory box.

And we're going to give one to Matt. I guess. Yeah. I want one for my wall. Yeah. Oh, it's going to be so fabulous. But yes. So get excited.

We'll know all about it. Once we get that, we will be able to... Death to everyone live. Yeah. Death to everyone live. Live. But yeah. So it's basically like when you go to Harry Potter land and they have a copy of the Wizarding Times or whatever the fuck

and it's all in world. So there's nothing that breaks the reality. The Daily Prophet. Oh, it's so good. The Daily Prophet. And my favorite journalist, Anne. Anne. Anne has written some articles

yeah Bayonetta wrote an article that was good too I think Matt Shears wrote an article no might just be mentioned in one of the articles

um so good and in other live news Jennifer Lopez has renamed her tour is this correct yes

to this is me live um which I think is just incredible well she hasn't just changed the name she's changed the content don't yeah This is me. Liv! Which I think is just incredible. Well, she hasn't just changed the name.

She's changed the content. Yeah, to Best Hits. She's not sold enough tickets. Which doesn't really make a lot of sense because they're all Best Hits. So it was kind of that already. Yeah. No, I would agree. She's only ever made bangers. It's true.

She's like a British woman in the 1950s More bangers for you love They call me Jennifer Lopez Alright the world has eroded over 200 million years And with that we'll be right back TTYL that means talk to you later. Yeah. If I hold on If I do I know I can make it through

Oh yeah Hello Hello Uh, sister It's time for us to discuss Which type of street Goes into the bunker That's it

I guess it's like what type of, because like, what are the categories? There's court. Court. There's lane. There is street. Yeah. There is crescent. Road.

Road. Yes. And then what else is there? Matt, do you have any? There's some weird ones like Weird? Crossing Did you say lane?

Crossy Yeah, lane Lane we did say There's like little ones like Boulevard Yeah Ooh, boulevard Bitch, I didn't even think about boulevard

I walk a lonely road. Avenue. Madison Avenue, that was, everyone. Thank you. Circuit. Yeah, circuit. That's what I was thinking of. Circuit.

Wait, did we say drive? What about way? Drive. Way. Parkway drive. Jesus. Yeah, there's heights, highways, byways, keys, junctions, landings, links, linkways. Byways.

Mews, motorways, nooks, nulls, outlooks, parades, parkways, passes, passages, piazzas, precincts, promenades, reserves. Enough. Oh, sorry. What did you grow up on? Hughes Street. Oh, Street. Okay. Which is why my stripper name was Mossy Hughes.

Mossy Hughes. She's got things to prove. Mossy? Wait wait so what does that mean your first pet was called mussy yeah named after the the nanny or like the cleaning lady from genie from down under wow make my wish come true That little bitch Good I loved her Yeah Like diva bitch Not like bad bitch

But she was a bad bitch Imagine You're a bitch I just can't You're a bitch, Caddy You're a mean girl Matt, what did you grow up on? And what was your stripper name?

I had a lot of different streets Or places where I grew up, I guess Well, I guess it would be kind of good if you could just pick one I had North Road in Brighton Brighton? Yeah, I lived in Brighton Oh, sorry, Brighton You're wealthy

I was actually born in Canada, did you know that? What? Fun trivia for Matt Where were was born in Canada, did you know that? What? Fun trivia for Matt Where were you born in Canada? Canada? That explains why you're so kind And French Well, my parents are Australian, but then they just were living in Canada

And how long were you there for? Only like five months or something I remember it well I can still hear the accent oh we're all incredible at accents here impressionistas um yeah so roads streets but i think i think i like avenues well bitch i wanted your stripper name so catch up okay oh wait what's the stripper name, so catch up. Okay. Oh, wait, what's the stripper name? Is it just...

Your first street you ever lived on and your first pet name. Ah, so North. In the opposite order. What? No, it's pet... Oh, yeah, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, so I lived on a North road. Yeah, so North.

North, and my first pet was a cat called Meg. Meg North. Meg North. I love Meg North. Not related to... Take me to. Meg North. Meg North. I love Meg North. Not related to. Take me to the Meg North. Meg North. And then you can see the Med South.

And Zelda, what about you? I grew up on a parade. Oh, yes, you did. You people love parades. You're kind. No, actually, that's a lie. I grew up on an avenue. Why did I think parade?

Could we just... What is your stripping in? Oh, it doesn't really roll. So it's Ninja Prentice. Ninja Prentice. Yeah. She's the Ninja Prentice. Yeah.

I like that. Because Prentice isn't really a P't really apprentice so it doesn't really like but ninja prentice wait you had an animal called ninja oh my god i loved ninja but ninja was kind of like kind of like a um like a healer kind of cross many thing kind of dog like a real like he would go to work with my dad she was a healer um yeah like not a blue healer but that kind of like weird kind of mutt vibe yeah um and ninja was like such a cool like the coolest dog that we ever had yeah but ninja would always run away and like just was kind of like costing a lot of money with like all the pound pickups. And then what happened? She went to go and live on a farm.

Yeah, like two million years of erosion kind of happened to her. Which was so sad And I had Ninja's like little collar badge And I had it on my school bag All the way through primary school And then high school You can wear that to a barber now I fucking loved that dog Yeah, Ninja

Goodbye Ninja We had Ninja But then we had another dog This was when I was really like five or something Called Ben And Ben fucking sucked Ben was like a gold Labrador But boo And he bit mum So we had to get rid of him Ben Tentus Yeah called Ben and Ben fucking sucked. Ben was like a gold Labrador, but boo.

And he bit mums who had to get rid of him. Ben Tentis. Yeah. But they were the only two pets that we didn't have until they like lived out their lives. Every pet, I mean, obviously. But yeah. Yeah.

Wow. Interesting. So streets. So I love, I mean, I love a crescent. I just think crescent is But I also love court Court, my nan lived on a court And they used to call her the queen of Charles Court

Like all the neighbours Because you could go over and have a wine at Jill's on a Friday And like she'd get out the box of wine And they'd all sit outside And this was in Queensland so it was very hot And have chardonnay with ice And she'd smoke her cigarettes that's quite good and laugh at how stupid you know what's weird about my nan jill from back in the day is that she was like she had friends that were like you know she would have been in her 60s or 70s when i first met her

as a child but like she had lots of friends that were like in their, like if there was a 27 year old on her street, he would have come to like the Friday night hang at Jill's. Oh, he sounds like a faggot. No, it was this guy. Oh, he did own an ice cream

truck. But he was more of like a surfer guy who was like a handyman and like then bought an ice cream truck and like did it up and like sold ice cream around caloundra what's he doing now i don't know probably been hot somewhere um but yeah my nan and like so she would just have like a mix of like different ages which i thought was very chic for like a woman like of her age. Cause like when my mom was traveling in her twenties, my nan had just gotten divorced and my mom went to like all around and was staying in like hostels.

And my nan was like, well, I'm coming too. And she just stayed in the youth hostels as this like freshly divorced, like late fifties woman. That's cool. Getting drunk and smoking ciggies and laughing at everyone. That's great yeah in my mind she now looks like the gal from drop dead gorgeous who gets the beer can

it's not the vibe she uh yeah i mean she was a dressmaker so she had a certain style but very chic i'd love to play golf and she lived in like an a-frame house which went all the way to the ground which was fabulous yeah that's good yeah cool um but yeah a court like i don't know you get to the end and then just turn back around yeah that's kind of good yeah that's very bunker adjacent yeah i truly i think a court would fit in the bunker well highways and byways not gonna be cool if there's a highway it's a really short freeway just like a like the the matrix freeway that they built for filming god that is an incredible chase scene yeah those two like albino ghost twins they phase through the car and then oh he's sitting in the car next to you phasing was big for us when we found out about it in primary school and played

our games i'm phasing right now you can't actually get me yeah yeah oh did you ever play um i'm phasing through the wall did you ever play beast wars what like because transformers beast wars no beast wars oh and the velociraptor would detach his tail and then spin it really fast as a shield but it would spin so fast that it would block all projectiles. That's very cute. That's so cute. What do you mean play, though? Like, you know, like you be the sassy spider lady and I'll be the Velociraptor guy.

We didn't do existing IP. We made up our own stories. We weren't just knocking off fucking what we saw on television. We were the badge holders. The? We had the power of our badges. Oh, my God. So you just knocked off Captain Planet.

And Pokemon. Okay. Yeah, we're not doing like a street or a road, obviously. No. Road, road, road. No. Boo! It's got to be something like a little bit cool.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay. Avenue. I think boulevard is the gay, like every gay thing has happened on a boulevard. I do like boulevard. B-L-V-D. Yeah. Sunset boulevard.

Boulevard. What defines a boulevard? Boulevard. I think it's just a wide road with, it has to have trees alongside though. A wide load. Wide road. Oh, sorry. A wide avenue, often having grass strips with trees along its centre and sides.

And it's from the French word boulevard. Which means walkway lined with trees. I don't think there's going to be many vehicles in the bunker. There's the Volantis and there's the Jeep. Well, there's two, yeah. So it's more like a pedestrian walkway. So it needs to be suitable for pedestrians, I think. What about an alley?

Yeah, I like alleys. I mean, we are from the city of alleyways, Montreal. I have good memories playing in alleyways as a child. Did you play? Oh, because you used to busk a lot. No, no, not playing music, just like... Playing baseballs? Or like throwing a ball in an alleyway.

See, we're really hitting on all the different styles of play going on here. We threw a ball. You could deflect shields with all the projectiles with your spinning tail. And I threw a ball. Well, that was when I went to the city to visit my grandma and play in the alleyway. Did everyone hang out with your grandma or was she lame?

Unlike my grandma. Wow. No, she was the queen of her lane, alleyway as well. She lived in the city? Yes. Whereabouts? Cool. Where is she now?

She still lives in the city, in Albert Park. Name and shame. Where's the address? I'm not telling you where. Just tell our listeners where your grandmother lives. Same. Was your grandmother cool, Zelda Lee? She is still cool, yeah.

Not you you Zelda Moon That was obviously cool Do we all have cool grandmothers? Well my mum's mum died when I was like I don't know 12 or something That's pretty cool She died so young

She died in I think she was 55 Wow that is young Yeah So she's dead She used to get perms. That's pretty chic. Yeah.

You both love curly girl wigs. Yes. Very similar hair to yours, but she was a frail, small woman. Same. Yeah, did another one. But then she had kind of like this massive mop of blonde curly, curly, curly girl hair. Quite fun. But my nonna, she's alive and kicking.

She's 89 years old. She still lives at home. She lives by herself. She gardens. She does it all. She's by herself. The coolest quality. I think.

She's got a whole house to herself. She gets up, walks around And sits back down What a life Yeah, but she's amazing She's very cool Well, to your nana And to your grandmother, Matt

Oh, thanks She's a great grandmother now Mine's great as well Oh, you mean she's mother of mother she's serving mother she's serving great-grandmother yeah is your mother sitting on the mother toilet okay so i kind of think it should be a um a court court also it's kind of like a fist oh sorry i'm in floor pan mode but that would be kind of good that's true i mean that's it everything we add now we're going to be thinking about the floor plan i

know and the articles but we can't get hung up on that because you know what we weren't hung up on it for the first 40 weeks we're not gonna be hung up on now i just the amount of episodes that we've now produced of this show there is now just you know when ai comes and they want to create replicas of like our voices yeah from this show and the ai comes out sounding nothing like us and instead going hello it's me yeah yeah that'll be crazy that'd be so good um but we will have our next stock take, I think, when we're on our one year. Yeah, yeah.

Because I thought if we do New Year's episode, a stock take. Famously our least listened to episode ever. Yeah. Oh. No, it's just because everyone's busy around that time of year. We keep going and it's more like we're offering like a school holiday program to our listeners.

It's like, okay, we get get it everyone's gone away for christmas you don't have time to listen to a three five hour like podcast yeah but for those of you who are like nowhere to go we will make a safe space for you and do a stock take and have fun yeah so new year's will be stock take and then yeah like because we started the podcast at the start of August. Yeah. So, I mean, we could do like the halfway, like it's kind of halfway, kind of. Anyway. Yeah.

My point is, we're going to be kicking a lot of things out this time around. Oh. Because when I was looking through the list, I was like, how the fuck did that slip through? Anyway, that has nothing to do with roads, but we do need to be considered in our decisions yeah okay courts it is courts good yeah that's fun courts also you know courts that like the roundabout at the end is too little yeah and you kind of like like ramsey street yeah what's that about they know that people will be turned around my friend was telling me that um he did a 20 point turn in an alleyway recently and a tradie said to him like that was amazing you should drive a truck and he was so

thrilled because he was like because like he was like i've never gotten a compliment from that kind of burly straight man before and it did like feel so special to be appreciated you know what fills me with anxiety life yes um but when you are driving an experience i'm not familiar with don't you get stressed out if you have to like go into someone's driveway to then like turn back around you really um you just gotta be confident sorry just Sorry. Just got to do it. I also used to, when people used to pull into our driveway to turn around, rarely, it was so exciting because I thought someone was coming to visit. And I'd be sitting up at the window looking out and be like, no.

Sitting up at the window? Yeah. We don't know them. Actually, when we, this is just a little, because our street was very like dangerous And we were on a hill, like, very sloped hill. And at the top of a rise in the hill that just kept going up. But as such, like, people would speed down because it came off the tourist road. So you'd come and speed down the hill.

And our house was just at this blind corner so like that's how both of our cats got hit by cars um they survived um but then one day my sister and i had just like had lunch with the folks and we were driving back to melbourne together and then we got into the car and then right next to us across the road, there was this car that was parked and this, this full four wheel drive comes speeding down the hill, collects and smashes that car entirely. And like literally, and then my mom comes running out of the house.

She was like, what happened? What happened? Cause like it literally, it was so loud. And we just left the house, but we were watching this whole thing play out. The four-wheel drive guy winds down his window, and he is drunk as shit. It's four in the afternoon.

It's a Saturday. And he'd just come back from a school fate where his kids went to the local primary school. And this guy's like, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. The people whose car he's just destroyed come rushing out of their house because it was, like, parked on the street. And they're like, mate, what the fuck? And, like, you know, the first question is, like, are you okay?

But he's, like, drunk. And then he flees the scene. Like, we were talking to him. What, are you okay? But he's like drunk. And then he flees the scene. Like we were talking to him. What, into the wilderness? But like everyone was like, we know who that guy is. So we're going to absolutely take this and follow this up. But if they don't, like there's this, I don't know. I don't know if this is true or not.

But if they don't get the breathalyzer score on you when the police show up then they can't prove that you were drunk when it happened oh like you ran away from the car and then you drank some beers and like well i'm drunk now well like he drove off and i think with the assumption that he could like yeah get his his like yeah blood alcohol limit down by the time that anyone could breathalyze him. So there was no official documentation that he was drunk driving. Wow. Instead it could just be that he was driving. Isn't that fucked?

And also it's like, dude, don't get fucking drunk. They've actually banned drinking at most school fates now because it's not the 90s. Yeah. Like, I mean, like, because like, you know, when you used to have carols by candlelight, the, like, parents would normally have, like, a wine or whatever. Live. Yeah, like, I remember them selling wine or whatever at parent events at my school.

But that was the 90s. Wow. Wow. But, yeah, don't get drunk at your kids' events. Don't. Unless they really suck at the clarinet, in which case, do what you need to do to get through. Were the kids in the car?

No, thank Christ. He's clearly like the dad, but like post-divorce dad. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Like that four-wheel drive is definitely going up to the NT at some point. Yeah, okay. You know, like he's going with his new girlfriend. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Did they get a cool bumper sticker, like see you in the NT? See, I don't think court will work, though Go on Because Well, I'm just playing devil's advocate Because what if you want to connect two areas at the bunker? Like, what if you need to get from the oceanarium to the library? Zelda, she makes some good points

And you can't have a court And the oceanarium is next to the library, so you'd probably just walk Review the map Yeah But no I mean the cars Because then you could have multiple The cars and the Volantis

You could have multiple avenues Or whatever Going between Oh no Sections And you could say like One is And you can name them

After people in the bunker Oh I mean we could name corridors In such a way But it's really Corridors Because you're really Travelling by foot

I'm sorry I didn't realise Corridors were Because you're really traveling by foot. I'm sorry, I didn't realize corridors were allowed in yet. Oh, yes, yes, yes. There's many corridors. Part of the renovations as we go along. But the... No, like the cars are there, but you're really just driving around in the abyss room.

Volantessing. Yeah. Like it's just like maybe 10 meters. Right. Yeah. And I suppose when we put in... I've got to study the floor plan a little bit. I wish you would.

Before racing these meetings like this. But yeah, it's really more like the idea of a court. Like people aren't, you know... There's no reason to go there because you're just going to... So if you want to drive somewhere, you have to drive down the court. It's like there's like Alzheimer's fake streets they set up for people oh that's fun i love that i think that's not even helpful little bus stops and stuff yeah but like they do them inside they have like in like an old folks home they'll have like everyone's door looks

like the front of their house that looks like their door that they had in their old life which is so tragic but you know what alzheimer's is sad it may as well be funny and cool as well um but yeah that was very chic and i feel like it's probably not helpful do you know what i mean but like some gay guy was like well let's do it gay guys are terrible when we what we might do how about this so we're doing court but what if we we will come to an episode in the future where we decide which name goes into the bunker and that could be the name oh that's good whatever name that's good okay at the moment no name no name caught okay okay and to you lazy susan i say so we had this pitched on um discord this week actually like yesterday

and i saw it and i thought oh my god that's incredible yeah oh yeah which experiment experiment is going into the bunker oh what a fun topic we got another message that was like which eye color which i'm sure we'll get to eventually but it does feel a bit eugenics like oh blue and what hair color. And then where are we? Yeah, I think we know how this one goes, listener. Yeah. We all watch Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes or whatever. Yeah. I love that woman. Oh, she gets, she, like, there's a lot.

That woman is spoken about a lot on TikTok. That woman who invented the Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes. She's so, like, committed to the bit. She is committed to that bit. I think the bit is her lifelong fight against racial inequality. Yeah. Good work. I love what you do.

I love this BLM bit you guys are doing. Keep it up. She's so... What a character. Anyway. That is so funny. You're hilarious. She's so good.

But yes. Oh, what experiment okay go on tell your story oh i don't know but it's very broad okay but that's kind of fun i mean obviously the first things i think oh there's just so many so i think about like i don't know i think about like a table with like a brain dissection and like i'm experimenting kind of like frankenstein monster kind of experiment on like oh like oh or you know like because you know when like a doctor with a little like um like a wooden hammer will like hit your knee to like make it kick like that beer in someone's brain that's a fun experiment ma'am That you did not just describe an experiment What did I describe? The box of a Dr. Dreadful

Anyway That's really fun But I think my favourite experiment Is The Cloned Australian sheep Dolly

Dolly That's a good experiment That's so cool I also love that cloning exists And like what? Yeah And it's so shit But that's so cool i also love that i'm like what yeah and it's so shit but that's so cool do you know who i liked better when she did cloning yeah barbara streisand okay did you know

this i say more she had her dog cloned yes yeah yeah yes i did oh my god oh yeah that's crazy that is so crazy and did she call it the same thing? I don't know, but she says that it wasn't the same. Jesus Christ. Like she said it had a different personality and she was like, I don't like it. It was evil. It was evil. I think that's probably what Barbara would like in a dog. Oh, clowns.

I like putting vinegar in a little volcano diorama. Obviously that's the only experiment that I know. What about the pitch drop experiment where like that, like that tar pitch was poured a hundred years ago and it's slowly dropping, but like at a rate to prove that this tar is a liquid, but it looks like a solid. What? It's been running for like a hundred years at this university and it just sits in the front room and it's like

pitch tar whatever the fuck that is yeah that seems like a solid because for all intents and purposes in our timeline it is like in our time frame but they've put it in this like funnel and it's slowly dropping down and out and into the bottom cool but like over like 50 years and it takes for like one drop to form and then like drops and then keeps going isn't that amazing that's cool. And that definitely goes with the 100,000, I mean, 200 million years. Yeah. But you know what makes me angry about that?

You can say one thing. It's like, you know, when you're studying chemistry in high school. No. You kind of go through this phase of like learning the fundamentals of chemistry, like how to do a chemical equation how things kind of work what the elements are and like the three states of an element solid liquid vapor gas gas i already learned that just then but then but then you kind of keep doing chemistry in high school and then they're like okay so you learn all the rules so that you know when you're breaking them and every equation that you'll ever do and everything you'll

ever learn breaks all the rules i hated that day and like because it's like well um water boils at 100 degrees yeah it turns to steam yeah except that like you heat the water and it's not all fucking that yet like it doesn't actually like it's not like that i hate that so my point is the day you found out you had autism i'm like i liked it when it was just quite simple because then i knew the rules and they were being followed yeah and then all of a sudden it's like oh well not that one that one's like this and this and this kind of like oh god i hate that but you know what is fun go on is how cool alloys are oh because metals by themselves suck but you make an alloy oh and they don't rust when And when two become one, this is what the Spice Girls were singing about.

Yeah. So much better. Maybe you could do a drag show where you are making an alloy. That'd be great. Tonight is the night when two become one. I don't think I can run the risk to mercury exposure. I'm already quite mad. What about that one that's going viral on Tink Tonk where the woman,

the woman, I guess anyone can be a scientist, but I assume it's only women. I mean, truly though. Oh my God. Golden eye, put it right. But where the woman drops the drops into the clear liquid and then spins it in front of the stunned American children. With one of those spinning beads? No.

Oh. And then she spins it in front of those American children. And like that, it turns pitch black. Completely opaque. But like someone's just flicked a switch. Oh, that's so fun. Now, I don't know the science of this, but I assume that that would be fantastic. Yeah, that's good.

I'd love it if we were all sitting around and suddenly our drinks just turned pitch black do you know the spinning things i speak of what so like you've got like a gyroscope i don't know like lady gaga's dress on saturday night live you got like a beaker yeah and you put it on like a like a plate like, you've got like a little pebble. Oh yeah. And the pebble has a magnet in it that's inside the plate as well. And so like, you don't need to like have a swizzle stick

because the pebble in the bottom of the beaker is swizzling and it creates a vortex as well. I don't know that that exists. It's so cool. I think you're lying. You know, the mixing bead thing.

Oh, I think you've just made up a fib. Oh. I think you're lying. You know the mixing bead thing. I think you've just made up a fib. I think you're fibbing. I'm not. Could you stop fibbing to the audience? The spinning magnet thing. You know that one? Matt?

What? Okay. So do you like any experiments, Matt? I like the static electricity shock. Yeah, it is good. But on that, a Faraday cage. Faraday cage. Yeah.

The electricity. Yeah. Science works. Yeah, that was fun. It really does. That was quite cool. I mean. But see, yeah, I didn't study any science really.

Yeah, same. But you know about the seasons and the winter festival? Yes, that's right. I was talking about the winter festival coming up at school. I don't know what bromine is, but I do know what winter is. So get real. Well, yeah. But we did do the, you know, rub the bottle on your head

and the balloon on your head and the balloon on your head and stand up. That's all I remember from science, really. That's really good. And it's good to know that your parents paid a handsome dollar to get you into that kind of school. Yeah, now I'm an accomplished professional artist musician. Well, is there anything to the science of sound?

What about brown notes where people shit themselves? Do we need that in the bunker? Is that a fun experiment? Well, that's a... Science. Yeah, but you're talking about an experiment, aren't you? It's like you've got to do the whole experiment. I was listening to a woman recently.

She was like a theory. A woman? Well, I only listen to women. The woman. Apart from Drake and whatever his name is. I only listen to men when they're fighting

and gay secretly. I think Drake is gay secretly. I don't think so. I don't think he'd be that creepy and be gay secretly. Unless you're Kevin Spacey secretly. Imagine if Drake was Kevin Spacey.

Imagine if we had secretly kevin spacey drake i'm drake you're kevin spacey oh i don't know okay neither i don't think that is a that doesn't go well um anyway there's a woman who i was listening to who does experiments, woman scientist, at Flinders University in Australia. Flinders? Yeah. Yeah. If we're getting stuck here, we're not going to get very far in the story.

University, it's a place. Oh, my God. But it's also a feeling, as you described in your dream. I came back from a place, maybe. Yeah. And she was doing an experiment on whether trigger warnings work, like whether, you know, the science of trigger warnings bears out. Like does someone say, like say this has essay content in it.

If you hear that, are you A, more likely to avoid it? B, does it help you not be triggered? Does it help not produce a negative experience? And they found by and large that they just don't work. That from their research that, number one, that humans are so innately curious that if there was like the potential for triggering content in something even if it was things related to trauma that you'd experienced yeah you're more likely to click into it because you want to know yeah you're like i need

to know um and they also found this this new trend which is that that there's a kind of, I guess, this is not for everyone, but like the idea that in the ED community, like eating disorders, that people sometimes use the trigger warnings to seek out content that like is about ED to like kind of, I don't know, they can be like, I want to know more like sharing techniques and that sort of thing oh god so it can be like kind of tagging up things yeah with uh the relevant uh yeah subject matter so you can find it more easily isn't that interesting that is interesting yeah

so that's an experiment. Yes. We know it's, I just think that sheep is sick. Dolly. Dolly Diamond. Evil little sheep. Um, well,

if I can't think of anything bad, I mean, what about growing those little crystals on that tree? That seems like an experiment. Oh, bitch. That's good. Real scientists are just going to listen to this and be like, do you think real scientists listen?

What the heck are you doing? What to this and be like, real scientists. You think real scientists listen to this? What the heck are you doing? But like real scientists, let me tell you a conversation with a real scientist. You'd be like, hi. And they'd be like, hello. Or like, hello. You know how they talk.

My ex is a real scientist. Keep it away. Message him now. Say what's a good experiment And so a real scientist You'll have a conversation And then they'll be like Oh I work as a geologist Or whatever the fuck

Yeah Made up things And Then You'll be like Oh my god Tell me something fun about geology And they'll proceed to tell you

Why their job is fucking boring Yeah And how what they're doing Is like I don't know I counted This tiny Like little sliver why their job is fucking boring and how what they're doing is like, I don't know, I counted this tiny, like, little sliver of the giant field of geology.

Like, it's my job to find out where the red rocks are going at what time in this one area in Darabin. And you're like, I'm sorry, I'm going to just die now. Oh, it depends on the topic because I was listening this week to a podcast about worms. And there was an interview with this... There was this gal who was talking about flatworms. She was a girl scientist? She was.

Yeah. She was incredibly boring sounding and very monotone. But the content was so interesting. Say, bitch. interesting so you know i um actually that's i do i'm selling someone under the under the bus and selling sunset selling sunset under the bus yeah um no there was a boy that i was seeing for a very short period of But his whole thing was – Jesus. Yes. We're not met up in a long time. But he was studying HIV. And specifically – HIV, not AIDS.

Not AIDS. Okay. But specifically trying to find out whether the virus had a – like, God, that, God, that it was more active at different times of day, that it had, like, a sleep cycle almost. Wow, yeah. And that, like, that could be really, like,

helpful information in going forward with treatment stuff. But that they found, I don't know, like, this is, I'm butchering what he was doing, but, like they found that like it had like a kind of natural activity time when like it was daytime. And then at nighttime, the virus slowed down and stopped doing as much, which is fucking crazy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And yeah, wild. Probably not the experiment that I put into Bunker Ben. Jesus Christ.

That's very interesting. What fun. Not like that first experiment that you described where you have a brain and it's on a table. Oh my God. That's like classic. You know, you didn't describe an experiment. No, but it's like the feeling of an experiment. Can't we put that in?

Or what about this? You know, like you have someone on a table. And then you spin the table around and throw knives at her. You know, the feeling of an experiment. No, no, no. It's like open, like hot. And, you know, like there's like, you know, those in like an operating theater on the wheels. You know, and you put the tweezers in and the nose lights up.

You know. So you're talking about human experimentation. Yeah. To create the ultimate human. That's really disturbing. I think I have an idea of where your eye color preferences come in. And it's a stormy night. It's stormy in the bunker all the time.

A downpour. So there's always lightning cracking. Bitch, you haven't explained an experiment. You're just talking about like a laboratory that's like with a crazy person Oh, you're right. We do need a laboratory in the bunker to do the experiment. The experiment. So we need a lab

and in there is going to be Dolly the sheep. Already experimenting. I don't want to clone Dolly. I'm going to be that. What? We're not cloning her. She's just proof of the experiment.

But cloning is the experiment. Well, I think then I want someone more. I want like something else to clone. Well, can we do Barbra Streisand's dog number three? Yes. Yes, we can. Oh, do we know the dog's name? Okay, I'm going to find out.

Okay, you find that. So that dog just keeps getting cloned over and over. Yeah, and then it dies. Yes. Well, I have to go to the Pompeii room to die, but I'm sure it will be seeking that out after it's miserable life in the bunker. Ooh, although.

Now, two. Okay, wait, are you ready? I don't know So, Streisand revealed that two of her dogs Were cloned from her 14 year old Contendetillier Samantha Who died in 2017 The two cloned dogs name are any guesses okay if the og's name is samantha i'm gonna go with um alex and um and sally well you'd be wrong Because it's Miss Violet and Miss Scarlet

What? Named after the Pokemon games? She's an avid collector Wow, and specifically Miss? Yeah Wow, like M-I-S-S? Yeah Also named after Drag Race girlies

Yeah, right? So, wait, should we put in Miss Scarlet and Miss Violet? Yeah. Okay, that's great. Miss Scarlet. Yeah, perfect. Streisand dogs going in. And Samantha can come as well.

Oh, that's good. The original. That's good. Oh, she hates Miss Violet. Oh, Miss Violet. You've got the worst of me. Miss Scarlet, you've got the worst of me. Miss Scarlet, you have the best of me. What if they meet?

Like, you know, every clone movie. Every clone movie. When the clone meets its, like, original, it's like bad things happen. Like the plot of the clone movie. Well, you know what their favorite movie available in the bunker will be? What? Attack of the Clones, episode two of star wars yeah oh those cloners on camino i don't even remember seeing any clones in that movie

what i saw that movie where are the clones they are they're all clients they're all clones wait the armies are clones are they all wearing outfits yes do they have helmets yes well then that's probably why why did they not show me the clones? Well, sometimes they do. Do they? Yeah. There's doubles. Just stating.

They're all Tamira Morrison. Who's Tamira Morrison? A folk singer from the 90s? He's an actor. And he came back to play them all. What? Who was the clone? What are they cloning?

Well, they cloned. So the OG is Jango Fett. And he provided the Caminos with his DNA. Then he is cloned times many, many. But he asks for one thing in return. What? A son. A clone that isn't programmed like all the others.

And that's Boba Fett. Wow. And Boba famously watches his father get decapitated. Wait, how did they know which one was the original? Oh, my God. Because he had his cool outfit. He had his stolen Mandalorian armor. He's older.

Yeah, and he's older. And it happened on Geonosis. Oh, God, what a movie. So wait, you know what? Go on, ask. No, I don't care. Okay. Well, Miss Violet.

Mistress Violet. And Samantha. We didn't forget about you. You're getting in your stolen Mandalorian armor. That's it. They're locked in in but now i'll say this i really hope they weren't on screen at any point why because if they were that would make them famous screen animals and they'd have to get fed to the meg so if you ever see that no they're also nepo babies. Fuck. So they probably get saved on that. They'll be in good company.

Yeah. Okay. Well, congratulations. What type of dog is that? No, actually, that makes perfect sense. Darling, they clone them. They feed them the egg. They clone them again.

Oh, Samantha's got her work cut out for her. Yeah, they're going to have to take new samples from Samantha, little core samples every three days. That's great. So do we need a lab for this, or is this just happening like on a pulled down Murphy bed? No, I think it's going to have a lab. Ooh, a lab. But as you said, probably needs to have lightning.

Ooh, we have lightning in the background. Who the fuck is that? That's our dinner, darling. How do we get it? Oh, go and get it. Dinner, darling? I better stop it. Okay, well, we'll be right back.

We'll be right back. We'll be right back. Welcome back, everyone. Hello. Oh, bye, Legne. Bye, Legne, to you. Now, Lazy Susan. I'm now Lazy Susan. This is me.

Our final topic for discussion tonight. Street Fighter 2 had an iconic lineup of eight playable characters. Of course. Yes, of course. There were other, blah, blah, unlockable, whatever. We're talking about the key eight. And I know who they are. Sure. And which one of those eight gets in?

You go first, and then I say number two. Well, I love, why don't you, you know, I love, wait. I'll go first. So, we've got Ryu, Ken, Chun-Li. They are the divas of Street Fighter. It's undeniable. But shall we dig a bit deeper, listener? What the fuck is happening?

Up next, E. Honda. Oh. Blanka. Oh. Zangief. Meh. Oh, Dhalsim. incredible, and Guile. What about E. Honda?

Did you say that? Yes. Sorry, I wasn't listening. I was reading. Okay. Okay. So wait, can I give the Wikipedia descriptions of these guys? Okay.

Because people might not know. Who doesn't know this? Listeners. Not me, but other people. Yeah, right. So Ryu, is that how you say it? Yeah. Okay. A Japanese martial artist seeking no fame

or even the crown of champion. Yeah, but... She says she doesn't want the crown, but she sounds desperate. Yeah, but we know. Yeah. But only to hone his karate skills with the inner power of chi. Ooh. And satsuken. he dedicates his life to perfect to perfecting his

own potential there's a mistake in this okay we'll give us the abridged version because we've got eight to get through okay okay that's right e honda is a sumo wrestler from japan yes he aims to improve the negative reputation of sumo wrestling i didn't realize that it had fallen so far. Blanca. Ooh, Blanca. A beast-like mutant from Brazil who was raised in the jungle. Oh, he. Why are these all he? Darling, you're going to be disappointed for seven out of eight.

He enters the tournament to uncover more origins about his forgotten past. Well, how do you know you were raised in the jungle, darling, if it was forgotten? If it was forgotten. Gael. Gael. What's his name? Gael. Oh, how do you know you were raised in the jungle, darling, if it was forgotten? If it was forgotten. Gael? Gael. What's his name? Gael. Oh, sorry.

Gael. Gael. A former United States Air Force Special Forces operative seeking to defeat M. Bison, who killed his best friend Charlie. Oh, everyone has fucking names, and then there's Charlie. I'm glad he's dead. Ken, Ryu's's Charlie. Yeah. I'm glad he's dead. Ken, Ryu's best friend.

Yeah. Oh, but Ryu's didn't say that Ken was his best friend. That's very the vibe. That's the vibe. Ryu's best friend, greatest rival, and former training partner from the United States. Yeah. Ryu's personal challenge rekindled Ken's fighting spirit and persuaded him to enter the World Warrior Tournament, which I assume is his street fighter,

as well as feeling lackadaisical in his fighting potential due to spending too much time with his fiancée. Wow, a gay person wrote this. Chun-Li, a Chinese martial artist who works as an Interpol officer. Pig. Much like Guile. Okay, good. She does not enter the World Warrior Tournament for any personal glory. Everyone is just pretending.

Except proving that she can defeat any man who challenges her. Chalini's ambition in the past was tracking down the movements of the smuggling operation known as the Shadaloo. Very good. I got that right? Sure. Her goal now is... No, go next one.

Oh, shit. Zangief, a professional wrestler and Sambo fighter from the Soviet Union. He aims to prove Soviet strength is the strongest form of strength. Zangief sucks. Particularly by defeating American opponents with his bare hands. And then there's Dhalsim. Bare hands? There's Dhalsim, a fire-breathing yoga master from India.

Yes. Even though he is a pacifist. Bitch, you're in the World Warrior Tournament. He uses the money earned from fighting, okay, in order to lift people out of poverty Oh Yeah, with his long arms Oh, then there's some CPU characters

His bare hands Which we're not talking about No, no, no Okay, so they're the Wait, there's one called Balrog? Yeah, ooh, that's good But that's not what we're talking about Okay

Which is sad because Vega is incredible and cammy But, you know, that's not happening These are all men Yes So, Chun-Li Chun-Li Which is sad because Vega is incredible and cammy, but, you know, that's not happening. These are all men. Yes. So Chun-Li, and don't fact check this because that's so boring. I have the Wikipedia open. No, but like Chun-Li is, let me say this, one of the first female characters that you can play as in a fighting game.

And that is why, like part of her legacy is William. And the bad guy, Chun-Li. Yeah, but she's not really. But just like such an iconic figure of video games. It's a fucking outrage that Ken. Ken was the second choice for Smash Brothers and not Chun-Li. Ryu, obviously. That Ryu is Street Fighter.

But then they... Because Ken is just a clone moveset of Ryu. So, like, lazy. But also, Chun-Li should have been in Smash Brothers. That is so fucked up. If you have... It's just outrageous. But anyway.

Yeah, I'm having a bit of an issue here. I'll bet. Okay, so there is like magic in this one. Yes. Okay, good. Because I did play Mortal Kombat. Mortal Kombat! Where like the guy's hands turns into blades

and he thrusts you into the sky And slices you up again and again and again And like you really do look like a monster These ones look more like people They're so fun You're like they're normal looking I Of like fighting games

Like obviously Smash Brothers because But if I were to play a fighting game It would be street fighter and growing up it was street fighter then there was like the tekken crowd and the mortal kombat crowd and like you know like whatever but oh my god wait kylie minogue was in the street fighter movie yeah she played cammy and cammy was cammy's the one with the beret amazing yeah but we're not talking about cammy wait because i knew no we're not doing cammy i want cammy no can i have nicole kid i mean can't even know cammy well if it was played by nicole hmm we already have her clapping hands guile's date i mean guile's date. I mean, Guile's date.

Okay, so, as I know, you're intimately familiar with these eight characters. Yes. How do you feel? Which one do you think should go in the bunker? So, Jean-Claude Van Damme played Guile. Yes. Okay, and then Ming-Na Wen played Chun-Li. And I love Ming-Na Wen.

She's so good. Ooh, which one of these people do I want? And Jackie Tan wore that Chun-Li outfit once. Hmm. Okay. Well, from what I'm seeing, I mean, obviously it would feel crazy. I'm sure, listener, you can tell that I might have an issue with the fact that this is an all-male cast and it is not passing the Bechdel test anytime soon. Well, Chun-Li could talk to a mirror about women.

I think it has to be Chun-Li, but I don't want to give in that quickly. Well, wait, wait, wait, wait. Let me just say this. Chun-Li is getting in. Now we can have the discussion about why no one else is. Well, here's the thing. So main guy you're saying is the one in the like white karate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's, I mean, who's the green motherfucker? So that's Blanka, who would be my, oh, probably my close second. Because Blanka's so cool and charges things with electric shock. Oh, they can charge something up?

Well, creativity wins again, I guess, people. Okay. But Dhalsim is also so cool which one's dalsim dalsim is the indian guy and he's got really stretchy limbs and he also breathes fire oh and look at those fucking earrings they're so cool but i love guile as well oh and e honda e honda stage is my favorite it's in like a japanese sauna so good but the only one like why you can boring zangief can get fucked i know there's going to be gay guys who listen to this and they're like zangief's really hot shut up which one's that zangief is like the big muscly bear from um russia, yeah. I bet you want to go like him as Halloween.

Congratulations. You're hot. We knew that without you pretending to be interested in Street Fighter. Wow. You think only like deep and interesting people are into Street Fighter. But it's like, you're hot. He is pretty hot, but why don't you... What?

Like, I just hate sexy Halloween costumes. Go with Blanca. That's fun. Well, what about Cammy? Oh, Cammy costumes are so good. What about... I like... Okay, well, I'm going to throw you off the scent a little bit here because as a wig that

I would like to wear... Yeah. That flat top yellow hair... Oh, isn't that good? Guile is so good. So, the American listener you if you don't know there's like a very muscular like what i would say is probably like a like if america wasn't the world superpower you might be able to refer to this as like an ugly and grotesque caricature

of an american because he's wearing like army pants like camo pants um big boots he's wearing like army pants, like camo pants, big boots. He's got an American flag tattoo and a green tank top. But then he has this fabulous wig. It's so good. Which was yellow hair that's flat on top and kind of like pokes out either side. Like a little sideshow Bob kind of experience. Yes. That's good.

It's real good. And I think we should have him instead of Chun-Li Well, that's not happening But it's a great second alternative She does have those space buns But I think Bayonetta's doing everything that Chun-Li's already doing Yeah, but Bayonetta couldn't exist without Chun-Li Yeah, but she does and we already have her

Yeah, and what a great time She'll have a Chun-Li in the bunker I just don't know Matt, who do you like? I never played it. Sorry. Oh, my God. And my vivid description didn't help.

I enjoyed it. I was listening and enjoyed it. Oh, good. Hopefully people at home feel the same way. No, yeah, that was the best part of this segment. Can you? I played Tekken, I think. But I also didn't have many consoles.

I had to go to friends' houses You didn't even know the Degrassi theme And let me tell you, there were more fights in that show than in any Street Fighter I wasn't very cultured, alright The fucking panda and then the woodman Tekken See, I didn't own it I just

I think I just had You got owned by it? I just had a GameCube. Yeah. Oh, GameCube. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So, Zelda, I think that is the issue we're having here that we're running into. Okay. So, let me describe Chun-Li to the audience. There's no issue. I think we're running into an issue. We can discuss it now. We can discuss it later We can discuss it later At the stock take

I don't want to end up in a situation Where we have A new person coming in Who is Like Eclipsing What Bayonetta does well Or making one of them feel uncomfortable

No I don't want someone to feel like The Miss Scarlet to someone else's Samantha. You know? And I think that that's what you're doing. Like, I can only see two scenarios playing out. Chun-Li comes in.

Yeah. She's got tickets. Yeah. And she just makes Bayonetta feel bad about herself. And she's like, I've lived in this place for so long. Yeah. I'm a witch. Hunter? I can't remember. Oh, my God. Oh, wait, she's a witch,'ve lived in this place for so long I'm a witch Hunter?

I can't remember Oh my god Oh wait, she's a witch but she also hunts witches No Anyway, she's very tall and naked Yes But Or alternatively Bayonetta makes our new recruit feel bad

And either way it slices I just, you know What's gonna happen? I'm sorry, you've got no concern over how we fit trainer feels about this we fit trainer has her own business to run she's not worried about hunting which is bayonetta is not pressed by tunley tunley would be pressed by bayonetta so we're putting she'd be like fuck yeah and then she gets to bottom. She gets off the ghost train and she says, you think this is saving me from 200 million years of erosion?

Being put next to Bayonetta? Yeah. Well, that's what I'm saying. She'd be mad. What I'm saying is that no matter what someone's doing. I think if Guile went in, he and Bayonetta would really hit it off. And that's the American. Ooh, yeah. And no love for the sumo?

We want a plus-sized diva? I do love E-Honda But he can't, like, no At the moment, I feel like every time we're putting in, like, Wii Fit, Bayonetta Like, there's only one body type going into the bunkers No Where's our plus-sized girl? You like the sumo

I like E-Honda Maybe it's E-Honda Well, when we do which sumo. I like E-Honda. Maybe it's E-Honda. Well, let me do which sumo wrestler gets in. E-Honda? You best believe I'm going to be. Oh, I wish I could call out the name of the world's most famous sumo wrestler. What about? Oh, yeah.

That would have been so good. I'm going to edit it in. But, I mean, Gu... Guile is great. I love Guile. The American. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You like the American? Oh, yeah.

I have no issue with that. Wow. Apart from, you know... He'd look good in a beehive. Not gonna lie. He would. He would. With a microbang.

Ooh. So you have an issue with the Soviet Union guy. He sucks. He's boring. Why do you think... Does he just represent the toxic masculinity that you hate? No, I just think he's boring. Look how cool everyone else is. But so is Ken and Ryu. Ken, Ryu, and Zangief are so boring.

Boring. Also, their moves are boring. Boring. Well, the issue with Chun-Li, and maybe this is like, this is not a Chun-Li issue. So I agree. She's fabulous. Yeah. Look at that cool hair.

I do just think her style has been cribbed so often that it no longer feels like it's innovative. Even her outfit feels like it's been done better and more times by other people. She's very like season two of Drag Race Girly, who was like, you know, or even like a classic like Nina Flowers, at the time so transgressive, pushing the like line of drag, whereas if she went into a season now, you'd be like, oh yeah.

Wow. Are you aware of how thick her legs are? She does have gorgeous thick legs. I just want to make sure you're aware of that. This is quite important. But don't you, you can see what I'm talking about. Not really.

You don't think that this style looks a little bit like, if a game came out, you had no concept of Chun-Li before that. Yeah. This girlie looks like an extra in a game. No. She doesn't look like a star. No.

No. I fear that you're wrong so she's wearing describe what she's wearing so the audience can kind of visualize everyone knows what chun-li looks like this is like when you you assume everyone knows but no one's gonna know sick so chun-li's wearing she's like kind of like a modified like martial art version of like a um what is it a shong sam i think um i don't know so like the high flat collar of like a, um, what is it? A Shang Tsung? I think. Um, I don't know.

So like the high flat collar. Yeah. Like a Mandarin collar. Um, the skirt is like split to release her thunderous thighs. Um, but yeah, then she has like bracelets that are spiked.

Um, she's just fabulous. And then she has like bracelets that are spiked um she's just fabulous and then she like yeah her skirt is split in such a way that it almost looks like a loincloth and around her waist she has this kind of like white belt that looks like a cintra and then she's got this kind of um danger field like demonia uh white boots on yeah but then like little space buns and plaits she interestingly like um this song like dead or alive is a classic for kind of like borderline like is this a caricature of women and kind of fucked up and inappropriate blah blah blah like things that people would say about bayonetta but they're idiots um chun li was never like sexualized in exactly that way like her outfit is sexy yeah but she doesn't like she has really fucking thick legs like she is muscular yeah there is no cleavage like she's

pretty covered up apart from the legs although she is wearing stockings it's a different color to the rest of her um so she's kind of like fully covered and it's just interesting that at like cammy by contrast is quite like a very revealing outfit it's just interesting that they didn't do the same for chun-li like yes of course she's sexy and that's the whole thing but i mean also all the guys are sexy like everyone's sexy in video games um except for zhangief but um yeah it's it's kind of nice that that like lara croft people think of as like yes video game icon but sexy video game icon. Chun-Li hasn't suffered that same fate, which I think is just kind of cool.

I'm sorry. Listen, I just had a look at what Kylie Minogue looks like playing Cammy in the Street Fighter movie. Oh, no, not that. Not that. No, I need to just come back to this. Okay. She's wearing a fabulous beret.

The beret is good. And these kind of fingerless gloves that are disgusting. Yes. And this like incredibly form-fitting top in like a navy blue with a maroon beret. And then camo pants and a giant utility belt. And she has a gun and two plaits. I just... Lazy.

Have we made a huge mistake in not having her? Is this what we should do? Put her in? It's so good. It's. Oh my God. It's pretty. Look at that one.

She looks incredible. It's just Kylie Minogue in like her twenties. She's got a bazooka on her shoulder. Oh my God. Okay. So I know we started this. We were in clear agreement that it was only those eight and that you knew what that meant however yeah you know what times change and we change with them and i think it can't be denied that perhaps it should indeed be

i love this picture of kylie minogue holding a giant gun. It's just so ridiculous. It's so funny. And it, like, Cammy in the movie, like, it's just so weird. Oh, my God. It's incredible. It almost, okay, well, we need to watch this film as well, but. Yes. Fuck.

She looks amazing. Look at that. She has, listen, she has a giant gun, and then in other pictures, she has a giant bazooka on her shoulder. And then her pistol is disproportionately large. I mean. And the beret. You can't get past the beret.

Well, I kind of want to look like this. And imagine how thick her hair is because she's got two ponytails. And, listener, they're like arm, like wrist thickness. Yes. Both of them. Imagine how much hair is under that hat. Yeah. She got a few wefts put in.

Yeah. It's so good. Okay. Okay. Kylie Minogue Cammy. That's incredible. Okay. Great.

I say Kylie Minogue Cammy, welcome to the bunker. Incredible. Okay. Excellent. Okay. Excellent. Ooh, could we also, to the wig room, add Guile's wig? Yes. Oh, that's good fun. Because I'll need something to wear when I visit.

Gorgeous flat top yellow hair. You wear that and I'll wear the Laura Dan Star Wars purple wig. Okay, good. And who will wear the Children of the Corn hair? Listener? Perhaps Anne. Anne will love it. Yeah.

Okay. Okay. So this week, to review, listener, we have... Court. Court. Yet to be named Court. We have... Samantha, Miss Scarlet, and Miss Viol miss violet the cloned children of barbara

streisand yeah wait what type of dog are they oh i can't even like sheena ipsu or whatever no what it was it was like oh my god this is terrible um her dog is a cotton did till yeah what i don't know what that is What is that? Cotton Detilia It's like a little white dog Okay It's just like A woman has this dog Yeah, yeah, sure, sure, sure

Cool Multi-shitsu Or a gay couple has this dog It's like the small white dog Yeah It's got like shit around its eyes Oh, yeah And like it's stained on its ass

Not Barbara's They'd be immaculate Of course But yeah Ooh what fun Okay great And of course Kylie Minogue Yes

In a beret Cammy Yeah Cammy Minogue Ooh that's good Well great Well listener we'll see you all at Live Yes, in a week and a half time

And if you're listening in the future Live happened You missed Live Until we live again Okay, ciao for now Bye Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Mad Shears

Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you'd like to send us a message, maybe some fan art or a little bit of fan mail, send it to deathtoeveronpod at gmail.com. Everyone should support us by signing up to our Patreon at patreon.com slash deathtoeveryone. Live! Live! live live