Death To Everyone - Death To... The Kardashians, German Ice-creams & Reboots

Episode Date: August 5, 2025

Su Lang Yor To You ALLLLLLLL!Hello.Its us again, your favourite Celestial Goddesses back to tell you all about it.... This week we take aim at the Kardashians - settle it once and for all, who is getting into our doomsday bunker. We look at German Icecreams, and their different varieties... And we pick the best reboot!Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

...toe... ...to everyone... Hello, everybody, and welcome back to death to everyone. Show Langior to you all. How are you, divas? Divas. I'm asking the listener. The listener.

How are the Divas? How are the Divas today? And the Devatrons and the Devatronic ones. My name's Alderman. I'm Lazy Susan. Today we're being driven around by our sickly space car driver Matt. We don't give sick days in this celestial void. No, I come to work every day.

Yeah. And we, I'd say we'd thank you for it. I've been coughing all over the windscreen. Oh, no, we're mad asked for his sick day every millennia. We say, oh, sure. Would you like us to just open the door here, kick you out into the depths of space? So you can rest up while we sit here and wait. Yeah, we'll wait.

And he always says, oh, no. And we're like, oh, great. Well, let's keep driving. It's just, yes. Post-taste, make up for the time lost in this conversation. That's right. Yeah. Stop on it.

You're such kind bosses. Thank you. Thank you. Yes, but this is, of course, our weekly podcast called Death to Everyone. The Best Show Ever! Yes. And each and every week, we pull apart the finest topics ever heard on a podcast before. Like fire ants pulling apart a giant dung beetle on the Amazon forest floor.

Correct. and from each topic we select the sweetest fruit and we put that into our grocer or our bunker that's right to be perused for the future that's right are you familiar with the doomsday bunker listener the type that millionaires have

yeah how many millionaires do you think you know two how many millionaires you know what I probably know a couple yeah but they're probably I would say they are all asset millionaires not like cash in the bank millionaires well yeah a lot of not a lot of millionaires walk around with liquid asset

damn that's right no cash that's tough no it's fine that's you know money is just a thing for poor people to play with like rich rich rich rich people are like oh no I don't think about money you think about the movement of empires think about invisible

Shogs. Is it not actually crazy that like Doge coin and like by extension or whatever like Doge as like an actual thing that people actually talked about was actually a thing? Yeah, it's stupid. We're living in a stupid reality. Yeah. A really stupid reality. But here we are.

I mean, Elon Musk has managed to stay out of the news this week. I'm very impressed. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think that that Grimes thinks about everything? I think Grimes is like, oh no. Yeah. Like, I've never seen, like, I mean, because Grimes was having,

Grimes was always kind of charged with the allegations of like, you're kind of in your flop era. But a lot of fans were like, no, she's just trying different stuff and it's cool and it's new and blah, blah. Yeah. And then the. Elon of it all happened. And I think for her, she was like, yeah, this is kind of a cool partnership because we both have these kind of, you know, extra earth mindset, you know, we believe in the

future and technology and merging the two, you know, the people with technology. Yeah. And then she was like, I think she'd always contended with that as a purely science fiction sort of idea. Yeah. Something you reach for, whereas he did it in a kind of. kind of disgusting titans of industry way. Yes.

In a kind of megalomania kind of way. And so it got real, real fast. And then she had a baby, and then now she's like forever tethered to that man. Sad. And I think, yeah, if she wasn't scared of his legal forces, we'd hear more from old brand. I think we will hear more. Yes.

In the coming years, there will be an autobiography. and if it doesn't come from her, it will come from a child. Fembot X, Y, Z. Yes, yeah, right, yes. It'll come from the child that was in the house.

Yes. Oof! Yeah. What a good day that will be. Although the Sundance movie, and I'm sure I've talked about it before, that I would make, would be the Azealia Banks

in her house. Azele Banks in Grimes' house. Grimes and Elon Musk's house. when that tweet thing went out? No. Azealia Banks was like lost in their mansion and she couldn't figure out how to get out. Oh my God. And she tweeted because she like, fuck.

She was meant to co-lab with Grimes and something. And then like as things I want to do, particularly when Azealia Banks is involved, it didn't end well. Yes. And she was cussing her out on the internet and she was talking about like how she was lost inside of their mansion. Oh my God. But wouldn't that be an amazing? like art film just her lost in the house just her loss in the mansion kind of wandering around for days like surviving off whatever snacks she could find inside of the coat pockets in the

closets yes you know or like accidentally pushing on a wall and then realizing it's a fridge yeah some sort of electrolyte water that they're drinking called like plus and minus tq yeah yeah i like that yeah well in that film i could play the cat skeleton that she'll inevitably cook on a lot of being a flash forward oh thank you yes uh what's happening what's happening yeah i am invigorated oh alive yeah well i um what is happening i i've just been doing a lot of like domestic goddess shaken or stir the ideal woman or men prefer yeah um so i've been doing like lots of little projects around the home because as we arrived into augusts, I have some, like, gigs coming up, and I had quite a busy last month.

Yeah. But this week has suddenly been like, oh, oh, I don't really have anything that I need to do. Like, there are lots of things that I actually have to do, but I think that I'm, like, pressing need to do. Yeah, yeah. So I've just been, like, bopping about. I went and did that Auntie Donna show. Yes. Most upsetting guessing game in the world.

And that was real fun. Fun. It was very interesting. to be the only drag queen in a sea of, like, other comedians. Yes. Or other, like, actual comedians. Did you win? No.

Okay. But no one wins in that game. The point is to be upset. Everyone loses. Yeah. But it was just, it's, I feel, like, in any, like, the only way to get any kind of purchase in Australian cultural media landscape will be to, like, crack into that more mainstream stand-upy comedy world.

Yeah. So I need to, like, do some little bits over that side of town. Mm-hmm. And then, of course, we did, Are They a Bard? Yes. Tom Oxnamb, listener, and a slightly returned listener, the prodigal daughter, Mum, Drag Queen. I've heard that Mum doesn't listen weekly anymore.

Oh, interesting. Jeez. Apparently she came back, though, with a vengeance. Samantha Jean, let her know. But, yes, and they organised an increasingly. incredible Dungeons and Dragons-esque evening, which was so fun with Charlie Lewin and Teresa Problem. Cute.

And it was completely fucking packed out, which was amazing. Like a show where it was like, there was no seats. There were no seats. And I broke my Jai July and drank quite a little wine. And it was quite a return to form. but obviously, like, when you haven't... Turn to form. When you haven't drunk in a while,

your tolerance goes way down. And so I don't even think I'd drunk that much, but I was... Mama, I was... Flying. Flying eyes. Three sheets to the win. And I was saying things like,

wah ha ha! Which actually reminds me during the most upsetting guessing game mug. Part of the conceit of that game is that you're giving people traits to play at a dinner party and the other person has to guess like what their thing is

and so they were like lazy do you have anything to add for Greg and I was like I don't know like an accent maybe and they were like oh I don't know and I was like no I mean like a funny accent like Italian or French you know

like where it's kind of it's not incredibly racist and fucked up Jesus yeah yeah and I'm like maybe I'm not good at this game Maybe you could do one of those funny accents. Oh my God. You know, like a middle-aged gay man.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. I didn't say it. You said it. Oh, my God. I like that. Yeah. And what about you's out of the moon?

How are you? I'm good. My life. Prove it. I simply cannot. Yeah, no, I am continuing to be very focused on work at the moment. It's quite intense period at work. But that, what?

I just don't think I've ever heard that sentence said in earnest. Oh, yeah. We're having quite an intense period at work. Well, yes. But you know what? That's fine. Whatever. Like, it will come eventually.

As they say, Yeah. This two shall pass. Yes. Yes, but I took some time to watch Jurassic World. Dominion. No, that was the... That was the last one?

The new one. Rediscovery. Yeah. New World. New. Jurassic World Plus. Yeah. And wow.

It was so fucking bad. Really? It was so bad. Wait. So they go to the secret other island. Yes. There's another another Isla. They hadn't mentioned that in the first one.

No. Wasn't site B. It wasn't any other ones. Whatever. And Scarlet Johansson's there. Yes. What is she playing? Skyjo's there.

She's like a. A mercenary? Like for the military? No. What's a mercenary? Like a gun, like a, she's not really like a gun for hire, but she's just like an illegal task operator. Like they hire this, this evil corporation. Yeah. Who is trying to cure heart disease. I'm getting this wrong, but let's just say that. Panadine. Yeah, they're trying to like cure heart disease. So in order to do that, they need. samples from the living samples from the biggest hearts on planet, which are dinosaurs, land, air, and sea. So they go on an adventure to get blood samples from those three creatures. And then the pharmaceuticals will be able to make, I don't know, heart disease medicine or whatever the fuck. So this evil corporation recruits Scarjo, and then they go off and...

And she's meant to be like a Marine. Well, she, her background is really, really unclear other than like, she's lost a partner in the past due to the work. But this is going to pay her $10 to $20 million and then she can leave this life behind. But they're dinosaurs, because in the last film, film six, this is film seven, it was established that like all the dinosaurs are free now, roaming the planet. But in this film, they're all starting to.

Yeah, yeah. That's stupid. Because at the end of the fifth one, they all escape from the auction, and then they all, whatever. How that ends up in a global population, I don't know, whatever. But in this one, it's kind of established that they're all dying off because of modern day temperatures, diseases, insects, like the environment has changed substantially. So they're all starting to die. And the only place they can survive is kind of the ring of the equator.

And so the places where the dinosaurs are, are not. now illegal to access because everyone that goes their fucking dies. So in order to go in and secure these samples, it's got to be covert. So Scarjo assembles this team. You might, yeah, call them like, I don't know, the Avengers of Jurassic Park. Kind of, yeah. There is, I don't know how to say his name, Mahashala. Ali. Mahershala Ali. He's there. Not as Blade. Maybe it'll never. happened? I don't know, maybe never. But he's there, and then the OG Dario Naharis is there, or whatever his name was, from Game of Thrones who got recast for the next season. He's there, I don't know, there's this like... Jonathan Bailey. Oh, yes, yeah, little slutty glasses is there.

Is he playing a scientist? Yeah, so he's like a paleontologist, and when they go to recruit him, kind of he's like no one comes to the museum anymore a couple years ago dinosaurs were so hot and now we're actually packing up the exhibition because no one's coming and everyone in the theater's like no we'll go yeah we do love that that's why we're here to see the dinosaurs i want you to know that whatever that little hedgehog or fucking dog or whatever on your animal crossing island is saying that in the middle of your museum right now yes no but it comes to look at the fossils yes oh my god so that's the last time you went to your animal crossing island what's that when was the last time you went to your animal crossing oh it's been a while how many a plus oh plus yeah plus yeah plus um

so do they die no there are not many deaths and so it's more of an adventure it is it is like a family adventure um do they get together scarjo and joe b uh no but they do exchange some warm moments of camaraderie. Ah, family-friendly camaraderie. Yes. But they also bump into this, like, stranded family who's, like, this dad with his two daughters and one of their, like, stoner boyfriends

who are on, like, a sailing trip. Why they're sailing near the dinosaur islands, I don't know. But they kind of get stranded because they get attacked by a moscis,aurus, and then the, like, covert illegal team have to like to hear the SOS so they go and save them. So then the rag tag team is increased in population. And then they, yeah, I don't know.

Go to this island and try to get all these samples, right? Anyway, I don't know why I've explained the plot because who cares. Do they cure heart disease? So they do secure all three samples and then they're met with the conundrum. Wait a moment. We could not give the samples to the evil pharmaceutical company. We could instead just provide them to all companies for, for free. And instead of monetizing the cure, we could make health care available to all.

And spoiler alert, that's the option they go for. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Because if you'd believe it, the rep from the pharmaceutical company is really evil. And he double crosses them sometimes. So yeah. But wow. Anyway, my point is I went to see it because I mean, of course I had to see it. But I now just need to see Superman so I can compare the three. Fantastic Four, Jurassic Park and Superman to see which is the summer smash. Yeah. And so far, easily Fantastic Four is a better film. Looks better, feels better, all of that. Yeah, Jurassic World was very bad. I haven't seen Superman, but I have watched an episode of Super Mega Cakes. And they are obviously produced by, I don't know, an affiliate production company because they have a whole Superman-themed cake

challenge where they may have to make a giant office, literal office-sized cake. Cool. But do you know what happens on super mega cakes, ladies and gentlemen and non-binary pals? It's like they put up 10,000 fucking plank supply wood, core firm, and then they put like a scrapper cake on top. and then fondant. I hate that. You're like, it's not super mega cakes.

It's super mega construction with a cake. Layer. Like, by your fucking logic, if I had a cake in my house, my house is now considered a cake. Yeah. And by extension, the entire world. Like, what? We've lost the plot.

We've lost the fucking plot. Can I just, uh, it is my wake for an apocalypse. Mm-hmm. And it's come to me with such clarity. Go on. The entire world. covered in fondon Fondon

Fondon Everyone's other cakes In season 5 of super mega cakes Yeah because it keeps getting bigger bigger bigger They're like we need to up the stakes Yeah We're going to do the whole planet Blue team is cake

You get the southern hemisphere Yeah You have to make a cake of the summer the hemisphere The size of the seventh hemisphere Yeah And they're like Roll out the fondon Yeah

Initially they were worried There wasn't enough fondon in the world But I don't know They found a way Well, you know, there's also moldable chocolate. Ah, which I think tastes better, but it seems waxy and awful. It also seems awful.

They, in the conceit of the show, which is confused at best, probably not as confused as that Jurassic Park you're talking about. Yes. Which isn't even taking place in a park anymore. No. But they have four days to make a mega cake. And in the four days, they're making their mega cake based on a series of things. theme. So one team gets Superman. One team gets underwater. One team gets pyramids. One team gets

classic cartoon characters. Well, things don't seem equal in their obscurity. No. Some of them was just so broad in general. However, the architectural one was incredible. And the underwater one. That looked amazing. And they all have like a distinct challenge, you know, hyperrealism, animation, whatever. And then they're going head to head against a super baker. Um, He's kind of a master baker. And he's master baking the entire time. Covering things in fondon. Yeah. Spraying.

His specialty, kind of like a creamy glaze. Yeah, yeah, a shiny, creamy glaze. But he has to do all seven challenges at once within the same four-day period. And so he's baking a Superman cake, an underwater cake. But he has like assistance, but they're all his design. He's like iron shirts. He is, but versing seven people at once. Yeah.

And then I just, you see the cakes at the end, right? Mm-hmm. Or like the shelf with a cake on it. And you just think, I don't want to fucking eat that four-day-old fucking, I know that's how long wedding cakes take or whatever, but it's like, that four-day-old fucking musty, dusty cake that's been touched by every single person in this fucking room under studio lights. Like, what the fuck?

No. Yeah. We've lost the plot here, people. That's not what cake is about. You don't eat wedding cake, though, don't you? Did you eat your wedding cake? Well, I ate mine because it was a normal cake, but I think generally wedding cakes are just like for looks.

Can I ask you a more important question? Yeah. Did you eat the placenta? Me? Yeah. No, we've heard it to the dinosaurs. Oh. Life finds a way.

Okay. Well, that's a great apocalypse. Shall we dive into the first category? Yeah, let's do it. Welcome back, listener. Now, if you are a consistent listener to the show, you know that each week we'll go through a category and decide upon one of these to go into our doomsday bound concept.

Yes. What is category number one? Okay, category number one. is yes no no we were doing so well okay why don't we do

category number one as which Kardashian yeah yeah calorie carb dash yes yeah we're gonna do

which Kardashian gets into the bunker Zelda what's your relationship to the Kardashians okay it is distant but you know you do have

okay tell me everything everything you know yeah so I'm an alien you tell me everything I need to me the Kardashians are a bleep bloop the Kardashians are a very famous successful family here on planet earth what is famous okay

what is family teach bleep blue how to family Okay, so I'm just going to give you the DVD of keeping up with the Kardashians. What is DVD? So, yeah, the Kardashians are children of... The future. Oh my God, so much Kardashian gets into the bunker. My relationship with the Kardashians is distant.

Yeah. I have never watched keeping up with the Kardashians. I've probably seen, like, little snippets. Do you know any quotes from that show? People are dying? Yep. When an earring was lost in the ocean? Yeah.

Yes. But you've got to say Kim at the end, because that's what really spikes. Ah. People are dying. Kim. And it's in that exact cadence. Ah. I know that.

I feel like I've seen some things about Rob. Rob is, like, a douchebag loser Kardashian. Rob is, like, not. not hot, like every other Kardashian. Wow. Rob, like, would maybe wear Ed Hardy and a cap, probably because he's balding or something. Rob, God. Is, like, the lowest tier to the point where I think, like, he also is, like, there are

K, like, boy names, but for some reason, he's broken the mold. Uh-huh. Probably not his choice, but it should be held against him. Well, he's named after his father. Valé. Valé. So that's what I know about him Then he was on dancing with the stars

He played second Then there's like Kim Chloe Other one The three Courtney Yeah There's those three

Then there's the children ones Kendall and Kylie Yeah The next generation Yeah Then there is the mother Chris And

And Like second mother Yes Caitlin Caitlin That's all the Kardashians Well, and Robert Kardashian, the dead lawyer The dad

The dad That Rob Kardashian is named after The old dad Isn't the dad Caitlin? Caitlin is the Um Imam

The parent of Kendall and Kylie Oh so next generation is only Caitlin Old generation dead Yeah Okay, I didn't know that So Rob Kardashian and Chris Jenner

were together They produced the offspring Rob, Chloe, Kim and Courtney. Robert Kardashian is famous for defending O.J. Simpson after he killed his wife. Good mates. And went on the run. He was a world famous football star. And he was acquitted and found innocent of that crime. Despite years later writing a book called If I Killed Her, where all.

kind of came to light the series of errors that were made in that trial and then later he was reconvicted so he did he did oh absolutely he did but it was like a kind of lightning rodman where the the young kardashin kim like blah blah we're all like seven eight and nine yeah but their dad was defending him because they were like family friends with him and he was like this um kind of like this bastion saint of like black success story in America he like was someone who was an incredible athlete who was really successful and Chris was really close with his wife who was killed

who was this like blonde white woman and she was having an affair and when OJ found out he killed them both and then he went on a run in his like white land cruiser up the highway and there was like a chase and there was this like iconic news footage of him driving in the car. That's not a very discreet color for a car. No. No.

And then, yeah. Okay. So, and then Robert Kardashian was the lawyer that got him acquitted. And he is Armenian? And that's where that comes in? Yes. Okay. Then skims.

So there's also something about Kanye in there, but I don't know. It's not about that Kanye. But skims. for some reason now I can't quite remember why this happened but for some reason it couldn't be called kimono so instead like yeah I don't know why

and instead it was called skim's so Kim's underwear brand turn like lifestyle apparel brand so this is where I enter the conversation because I think skims despite all Kardashian evil is kind of undeniably

chic and really fucking hot. And they now have that new face face guy. Yes, which I've become obsessed with. But I bought a few latex garments from skims and they're really great quality and they were pretty cheap for the thing.

And then Kylie made another fashion brand called Kai which I've also bought a few things from or for drag. Just like relative quality, relative price. and, like, interesting. That is my...

And then push. That's Courtney's homeware brand. Push. Push. Well, don't they all have... Okay, well, anyway. So that's my entire relationship with the connection. And then Chloe's brand is good American, which is a clothing line.

Okay. So they all have little businesses, right? Yeah. And this is why it's insulting to say that they shouldn't have any money because kind of like Paris or whatever. They actually are business women. Entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, and then Caitlin. Like, obviously, we know. Yeah. Caitlin, very, very, very, very famous trans woman with completely cooked political views. And who was, on the theme of today, almost cast as Superman in the original Superman film. Really? Yeah.

Imagine that world. Yeah. Okay. And now what's your relationship with these people? So I would say I knew of Kim. only tangentially through like my like early naughty's

knowledge of Paris so like when Kim was Paris like underling friend which was always very chic and funny so like when she kind of came up more in notoriety after the sex tape scandal that's when I was like oh it's that girl again

she's going like she's famous and then And it kind of grew from there. I never watched Keeping Up with the Kardashians, but I do, like, know a few of those quotes. Like, why don't you just call Taylor up? Chris Jenna talk you to. Just call a Taylor Swift up.

I don't see why you can't just call her up, you know? Are they friends with Taylor Swift? Well, it was during, like, Kim and Taylor's feud. What were they feuding about? So Kanye West initially, it stepped on. stage in front of Taylor Swift when she was accepting her award for best music video and said, like, he was presenting the award. Yes.

And then when he gave it to her, he's like, I'm going to let you finish. But I just want to say, Beyonce made the best video this year with single ladies. Yeah. And everyone at the time was like, wow. Yeah. This man has just spoken over this woman's success and cut her off at the past. But then on the other side, like, Beyonce has once again been denied. Yeah.

Like, da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. And then there was a long-term feud, and it did kind of like bolster a little bit of Taylor at that time as well. Because despite the fact that she was this massive success, it kind of like forced people to kind of side with her. Anyway, so then years past, Kim and Kanye get together. Taylor Swift and Kanye releases a song and a music video that features the, an appearance lookalike of Taylor Swift in bed with him naked

along with a bunch of other celebrities who are like wax figures and in the song he says I made that bitch famous Kanye West made Taylor Swift famous yeah and then Taylor Swift comes out in the press and says like what the fuck this is so unacceptable

and then Kim Kardashian says well actually and then she posts like a sound clip that she had recorded where Kanye had called up Taylor Swift and asked for permission to use her in his music. Yeah.

And she's saying, yeah, yeah, that's fine. At which point, that's where the snake emoji came from. And Taylor Swift was, like, bombarded with snakes with everyone was like, you're a liar. Yeah. You, blah, blah, blah. This is so interesting. Were people talking about this?

And it blew up and everyone was like, God damn, like Taylor Swift pretends to be this, like, innocent little white girl. Yeah. And then basically, like, is saying all this, like, hideous stuff about this black man and, like, playing on stereotypes around who's the real victim. And then she clarified that she had never, ever said that he could call her a bitch.

She'd said that it was okay for him to use, like, a likeness of her and his music video. Blah, blah. And so she clarified, and that's when Taylor Swift went down her reputation era thing and started using the snake. and that's when she did that song, Ooh, look what made me do.

Where she killed all the previous iterations of Taylor or whatever. Yeah. And was like, I'm the new Taylor now. And that's why when Alaska was accused of being a snake after her win of all stars, she started using the snake emoji as well. I was going to say, I thought the snake was. Because that had come into the common parlance around the same time. And so she was getting called a snake.

Right. Because of the Taylor Swift stuff Anyway All of that to say Kim and Taylor Have had like a kind of tortured relationship Since then At which point Chris was like

Why don't you just call Taylor up Got it And it's kind of become the all-time symbol Of mums not understanding Complicated situations It's like well why don't you just fix it Yeah You know if you want a job at Levi jeans

Why don't you just call up Mr Levi? Yes Yeah Anyway Um, and obviously Kim has had like a massive effect on the entire world, what contemporary womanhood looks like, her relationship with Kanye, which is bizarre. Her relationship with bathroom countertops. Oh gosh. Well, Kanye, of course, designing their entire house to look like this like sterile white barring environment.

Yeah. Which apparently she's getting remodeled at the moment. Kim's relationship to plastic surgery. Obviously, all the Kardashian women have always been at the front of these various plastic surgery kind of conversations, like body alterations starting with like the BBL, which a lot of them have ever had reversed now. And, you know, the lower plane facel, which is the new thing sweeping the nation now that Chris has her new face. And the transformation specifically on Courtney, who's the kind of. of was always accused of being the kind of more homely sister because she was just bigger. The Frumperella.

Well, yes. Every family need one. She was accused to being the Frumperella. Yeah. And now she, of course, has been like snatched out of that, despite the fact that she was always, I thought, incredibly beautiful. But they all look completely different now than how they started. Yeah.

Okay. And that's about where we're at. Rob, I think, was on the show. initially and then got really depressed and left because people kept calling him the front umbrella like all those things I said at the top of yeah yeah yeah and he like became super depressed um you know but is he like secretly the heart of gold or is he a douchebag I think that he is like out of the public eye completely now and just it seems like just a regular trying to be a regular person yeah okay from my estimation but I think he battled a lot

with drug and alcohol stuff. Yeah. And then was kind of always the one that was like letting down the family because they're like, Framaparella! Hmm. Yeah. You're getting your frump all over us. And then I guess if we're going technically, we can't include Kylie and Kendall because

they're Jenna's not Kardashians. Okay. But they are Caitlin Jenner's children. Yes. But Kylie Jenner had her lipstick kit, like boom. Yes. where she was announced just the first billionaire of the Kardashian clan and got this like Forbes front page

but it was all just a lie like it was complete over exaggeration of her network yeah she didn't actually ever have that how do they not fact check this first well it's been alleged that they presented Forbes with doctored documents Like, you could just, like, not. It's not like you're not successful. Yeah, but it made her seem so successful.

Oh, gosh. And now Kylie is dating Timothy Shalame. Yes. Old no-ass. From Porella, no-ass. I mean, we talked about this when Dune 2 came out, but he's got really bad. Dune. Yeah.

Do you think, yeah. Yeah, he does have no one. ass but he's got no body fat true the ash is built in the fat yes um i do i mean like listen we do i i keep thinking we need to watch um call me by your name um but it is just like i do not have any kind of i think because that was my first experience of timothy shallamee but he will be like a child in my eyes i'm like oh i'm not attracted to that yeah is he just straight what? Timothy? IRL?

Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But I'm also like, if I was Timothy's manager, I'd be like, with Kylie Jenna? You know what I mean?

Well, I don't think the manager has the saying it's private life. Welcome to Hollywood suite out. Oh, go. Yeah. And then Kendall is the model. The highest paid model in the world. Oh, and she, world peace with Pepsi. Yeah.

Yeah. She gave that Pepsi can. She crossed the picket line. I like that. Yeah. I do like that. Oh, my God. Speaking of absolutely controversial ad campaigns, Pepsi.

American Eagle. Oh, the jeans. Our girl. Yeah. We bring up every single week. Like a love. You'll love this. Sydney.

Sydney. Well, Sydney, Sweeney was in an ad campaign recently for American Eagle, which is like, I don't know. lows or like, I don't know, like a shit jeans company. Yeah. Like very broad and shit. Like just jeans.

Just jeans is probably a good comp. Okay. American Eagle and they did this whole campaign where it's like, Sidney Sweeney, she's got good jeans. And then they had this whole, I don't know, I'll play it. But it's jean spelled jeans as in your DNA. And she crosses it out and writes jeans as in. denim. And it was like

this whole thing of it being this sub-to-y, to the Nazis. Wait, sorry, what? And I definitely won't say that they're the most comfortable jeans I've ever won. Or, that they make your butt look amazing.

Pay attention to him. Why don't need to do that? But if you said that you want to buy the jeans, I'm not going to stop you. But just so we're clear, this is not me telling you to buy American Eagle jeans. Sidney's Twini, Hasberg-Keens.

You see what I did there, right? She has such an annoying voice. It's so annoying. Oh, my God. Wait, I don't know if I found it. You said... Come on, Sydney, tell me. Sidney, Hasberg-Kins.

Has what? Has great jeans. I can't find that Adam I'm looking for. But, um... You said Nazi? Yeah, there's like... What? The main complaint with the campaign

is that they... Have basically put up this blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman. Yeah. I've been like, oh, she's got great jeans. I got them from my parents. Yeah. And basically saying this is like a eugenics thing. Oh, my God.

Um... It's a bit of a stretch, but it also is just like... Well, Denham has a bit of stretch, yeah. It's fair enough. I mean, I would have... I mean, my mind goes to Sunday Riley Good Jeans, a skincare product that has existed for some time. Get her!

Yeah, but like, I mean, that's their little pun. Good jeans, but I never thought of Good Jeans, the skincare product being linked to fucking Nazi Germany. Well, American Eagle said, Sydney Sweeney has great jeans Is and always was about the jeans Her jeans Her story

And we'll continue to celebrate How everyone wears their A&E jeans with confidence Their way Great jeans look good on everyone The brand received both criticism And praise for its ad campaign Which featured the 27 year old star

Jeans are passed down From parents to offspring Often determining traits Like their hair colour, personality and even eye color my jeans are blue Sydney says in one spot the message and Sydney's blonde hair blue eyes and light skin sparked a debate on social media over beauty standards

with some slamming the campaign as regressive some social media critics drew comparisons to the debunked theories of eugenics and the Nazi German Nazi movement eugenics promicanda does typically focus a lot on this idea of who has good genes and who has bad ones said one TikToker who says she's pursuing a degree in history. Oh, my God. I think one thing to talk about good genes with a J in advertising,

but it's a whole other thing to start to say someone has great genes with a G. I was listening to a podcast recently that was talking about dog breeding and dog shows being a weird parallel to eugenics because you are indeed breeding in and out traits. and trying to perfect a gene pool and how kind of cooked that was. Yeah. I mean, I do think the way they breed dogs until they're half alive is really fucking weird. Totally. The unfortunate thing that, because like when people saw this ad,

like I can absolutely see how you could say like great genes are past like da-da-da-da-da. And, like, you know, in the current landscape, it's not a big throw to have, like, when Sydney Swinney is already considered this kind of, like, Aryan, like, that's already been leveled at her in the past. She is kind of an Aryan stand in, like, just by virtue of being a blonde-head, blue-eyed woman who has, like, ultra-conservative family. But when you come from the world of advertising, as I do, and have worked on giant. national ad campaigns, as I have done, the unfortunate reality that appears to you is that when people clamber around to say, oh my God, they knew exactly what they were doing, this subtle thing or this like thing that is so glaringly obvious was part of their plan. I can tell you with almost 100% confidence that it was just because the word jeans sound like jeans. And that they

ran into the office that day. And there was like, I don't know. 50 ideas on the wall and the word gene and jeans was like the thing that got plucked off the wall and they were like this is so amazing and not a single person sat down and said anything about like do you know do we want to kind of think about the optics of casting and saying that the person that has quote unquote good jeans is a blonde head blue eyed white skin woman yeah I would not have crossed a single person's mind and it would have gone out and then as soon as that it went out

they'd have been like oh because the advertising world is so stupid it is stupider than you would even fucking believe there was I can say this because I'm yeah I'll say it there was this campaign that I

was witnessing from afar which was called meaning application no that would have been amazing but it was called the symbols for all

and it was the Cadbury chocolate symbol for all and because like you know there was a lot of pushback on the Cadbury brand saying that like

oh my God what was it that when they chocolate became halal certified that they were like a lot of ignorant bigers who were like

I don't want any of fucking Muslim chocolate blah blah oh my god and then they were like how can we do something that's going to like quell this conversation a little bit or distract from it or whatever and so they were like well why don't we along with the halal certification we create a certification that it's for everyone and put it alongside that and we'll grab the united nations of people and put them in a room and they'll all make the symbol together a symbol for everyone and so they grabbed like

an indigenous graphic designer a you know Sri Lankan graphic designer a Japanese graphic designer a deaf graphic designer and then they put them all in a room A vegan graphic? No no no of course

It's for all Zelda They just can't eat it they can look at it But then they like put them all in a room for like 78 hours. Like the regurgitated booth at Fed Square? And force them to collaborate, everyone putting equal parts in, which if anyone who's ever done graphic design knows,

that's not how it works. Or a group task. Literally, but with 20 people that represent all of humanity. And they were coming up with the symbol for all. And, you know, I think one of the things about a symbol is that it needs to be really simple and infinitely reproducible. Like, it needs to be that a child can do it.

In McDonald's M, that a kid can do it, plus sign, you know, like the cross. All the great symbols are just really simple shapes that can be reproduced over and over again. The symbol that comes out is this, like, spiral, kind of like, look, you can Google it. But it's not, an infinitely reducible symbol, but it's a simple for everyone. And when it goes out into market

after this like intense, and like let me tell you, this is no shade on the, well, an entire shade on the people, like the pitched it. They were well-intentioned. But it was a bizarre thing to do. And then when it went out, someone immediately put up, are you familiar with the meme of Goatsy? Yes. This is a-pulling up in your asshole. This is a meme where a man is, with his four fingers on each hand, pulling his asshole open. And when you looked at that image and the symbol for all side by side, they looked like it was the symbol that was trying to create the goats in me. And all of the bigots who are angry about,

uh, bloody Muslim chocolate was still angry about the Muslim chocolate. And now they were additionally angry. and all the other people were angry at the cowardice of this company to not just put a fucking giant billboard of the halal symbol and be like, we support having halal certification so people can eat this fucking chocolate. Also, it's not a big deal, losers, like.

Yeah, like, I'm just going to show some ignorance here. Is halal not just a certified, like, preparation method? Yeah, I think it's just been it's been overseen. And, yeah, like, it doesn't, like, it doesn't change. No, like, you do have to, like, there's elements that you do in each of change about, like, the way you proceed. But, like, it's, yeah. But, like, it's not. And it's not.

And it's not. All that does is to get that certification so that people who, um, and eat look out for it can, like, do so just like, I look for a fucking little vegetarian tick on a menu. Yes. Like, yeah. That doesn't change anyone else's. and diva there could be a hundred people in that room that were just

excited to support this thing but we were with stupid people stupid people and like that ad was not that and so what was the problem with having a symbol that looked like a goatsie

in that way everyone has an asshole if you're lucky It's the great unifier. True. Yeah, but it is just one of those things you see. Once you see, you can't unsee about the advertising industry. It seems so calculated.

So, like, wow, we delved deep into the psychology of man and discovered that if we use this shade of blue, you'll eat that. That's bullshit. It is literally just people in a room being like, everyone gets to be part of the symbol. Oh, my God. Like, it's not that deep. And it's, like, it's usually, that sort of stuff is allowed to happen when you don't have empowered diverse teams. Because I guarantee you, if you had, I don't know, a Jewish person in that room or a black person in that room who was empowered to say something, they'd be like, do you know what? Maybe we don't say the good genes and have this woman as the symbol for what good.

genes look like. Or at least diversify the campaign. Or have some other... Yeah, like... Which is like absolutely like the other trait that's come from contemporary advertising is that like any campaign they'll be like, we need to have one of every race. Like to in order to make sure that we don't have to actually think about racism, we will just dodge it by doing this kind of like broad sweep.

casting. Yes, yes. Curious. Interesting. But I do think that on the topic of which Kardashian gets in the bunker, it should indeed be that symbol of everyone Goatsy. Yes, I agree. Put the Goatsy on the wall. Symbol for all. And in that way, all the Kardashians got in.

You know? Well, what a good workaround. Yeah. Lock it in, every Kardashian gets in. A symbol for all. Yeah. A symbol that represents all Kardashians. Yeah.

And we'll put that symbol up somewhere so you can see it. Perhaps with the comparison, maybe not on all social channels. Well, if you go to the bait bus, you can see it. Yes. Yeah. Eating and sucking, gaping and holing. Oh my God, I've lost my mind. Okay. We're going to take a break and we'll be right back with our next category.

Welcome back. Hello listener. Or sudden what? No, let's start again. We're not starting again. You get to hear behind the curtain. I'll say it at Oshuden. Or should I say, gooden tag.

Because let's take a trip to Deutschland. My situation ship of time gone past. Yeah, I don't know. My friend or ex-boyfriend or whatever, Ben, now lives in Dusseldorf. God, these guys do anything to get away, huh? Sorry? And he sent to me six hours ago. Cain, I have something to ask you.

Feel free to ignore me. I'm sitting at a random ice cream cafe in Germany I mean why is my question and there is an ice cream menu and there's a kid section of the ice cream menu I feel like every item in this menu is cursed but across my mind feel free to ignore that I was wondering

which item from this cursed German kids ice cream menu would go into the bunker So, first of all, this menu page is obviously fucking incredible. Now, I'm going to give it a shot. It's for our own se, Kleinen Ghast. Sorry, say that with a bit more panache. Oh, sorry, yeah. For instead of Weinenegask.

So, Ben, I then asked Ben to send through a translation and a reading. And I will play it for you now. For our little guests. That's what I said. For our little guests. Kinder-Uberachung. Kinder surprise.

Pinocchio. Pinocchio. Kinder spaghetti chocolate. Chocolate. Children spaghetti. Lily the snecker. Lily the snail. Kinder spaghetti.

Children spaghetti. Kinder Spaghetti, Erdbear, Strawberry, Kinder Spaghetti, Children Spaghetti. Kinder spaghetti Smarty, Kinder Spaghetti, Kinder Spaghetti, Child Spaghetti. Schneeman, Snowman, Beena Maya, Maja, the Bee. Maja, the Bee. Shlomph. Don't know what Shlmph means. It means Smurf, I just looked it up. Thank you.

Oh, so you speak better German than Ben. Yeah. Good and talk. Yeah. Okay. Okay. But you need to, okay. Yeah.

That was a great rendition and what a beautiful accent he has. He speaks German very well. I don't speak German, but I could, if you like. It's if he asked him out of Baudembourg. I've been listening to a lot of Just Klein lately, who's from the Netherlands, but he sings a lot of German. So I feel like I've been picking some things up. So, there's Kinderbristan. Yeah, the Kinder Surprise one.

Now, listen, it looks like a Sunday in a Sunday glass, stemmed Sunday glass with a kind of toty-frutty base. Yeah, the Tootty-Fruity. It's like a blown glass that you might get in Italy. Yeah. And then what looks to be like a strawberry ice cream topped with whipped cream, a drizzle of hot fudge, mini-M&Ms, and then lobbed on top is a fully wrapped Kinder Surprise.

Oh, now... In the cream. Now, I'm more than happy to prepare the German translation for Kinder Surprise, which is, of course, Kinder Uphashrang. I was surprised. And then the Pinocchio is two globs of ice cream with what looks like a cone upturned on its head to make a little hat. Yes.

But it's held in place by more fudge, sprinkles and cream. Then two desperate little... Purple eyes, create the eyes of Pinocchio. Yes. And then a tinier cone becomes his long nose. Sprinkles dot the base and there seems to be a strawberry coolly at the bottom. He's been lying. Kinder spaghetti, which is, yeah, the children's spaghetti.

I don't know if it's four children or made of children. But it's like they've converted this ice cream into a spaghetti shape, plate of Fun Factory style. Yes. And then it's all... Shub some chocolate in it. chocolate and every time there's about four of those um and one that looks just the kind of spaghetti there's one that is not chocolate themed and looks like real spaghetti so that's the only of the

spaghetti's that's getting my vote oh yes like the kind of spaghetti oh the kind of spaghetti yeah the rest looked like a dessert and yeah now that i know her name is lily de schneck yes lily the snail is a banana a banana split style food. Yes. However, one of the bananas has been tilted so that becomes the raised head of Lily. And her shell is made out of an ice cream scoop

with some whipped cream and a drizzle of hot fudge and sprinkles. Can I say, how have I never, how has no one ever thought of preparing a banana split in the shape of a snail? It's so cute. And she seems to have two little pretzels

forming her. forming her little eye stems. Yeah, they've been dipped in chocolate, I think. And then the Schneeman, snowman, is two little scoops. And then two smarties, bad choice, Germany, forming the eyes. And a Corinthians forming one little hand. And then his hat, which looks more like a race day hat. Yeah, this is very, like Mary Poppins would love this hat.

Yeah, and it's just cream on top of a waffirm. her cake like a waffle thin and it's kind of got a desperate face there's a

cloying quality to this and he's sat in a cup that is the shape of a snow like a cone of ice cream yes is looking like

saying please end my life yeah is very kill me do you want to kill a snowman yes and then be en macha

yeah they're being matcha which is a bee I look, this one's face It's kind of doing a little bit of a kickback Like a So yeah, he's got Right and high

It looks like he's gooning He is Yes He's got the full Neapolitan spectrum Forming the shape of this This bees What do you call it? Abdom

Mm-hmm What is it? And it's got Snapped Pocky For Anten And then Waffer thin As wings

Yes And then, I mean, I guess they're Waffa hearts. And the smurf is blue ice cream, which is disgusting. The slump. That's one of my most distinct memories of being a child, is like the way the different food colorings would run through me. Ah, and beetroot. Yes. Actually, I was talking about that when I was at Acker for Queen Kong's tough love.

Were you talking to about the color of Beatroot shit? Yes. Because there was, when I was at... at VCA and I was like, isn't it funny how far Ack has come? Because when I was at VCA and the exhibition on it, Akra at that time, was 12 people sat in a circle on glass or transparent buckets, shitting the colors of the chakra. And at least I think, maybe they were just shitting and someone else at VCA Grad night had shut the color of the chakra. Well, I don't know. Either way, this is, what's the blue chakra?

Because this would give you blue chakra. But it is two scoops of ice cream. It's the throat chakra. Communication, self-expression, and truth. Oh, Lord. Just like slump. So, slump is sitting... Clarity, calm, and purification of expression.

It's sitting in a bay of whipped cream covered in little sprinkles. it has a festive plume of whipped cream hair and the eyes of slumpf have been printed so it's like a printed candy or chocolate or ripped off an existing doll yeah which would be a choking hazard so I don't know okay so my question yes now that you know

it's impossible for me to not to see anything in German and not immediately think of the brother's grim Oh, I thought your question was going to be, why was Ben at this ice cream restaurant ordering off the kids' menu? You forget that I've met Ben. But the Brothers Grimm, the two German men who wrote a lot of the nasty fairy tales. Hansoleng Gertl. Yeah.

Or they, like, I don't know, took down the folkloric tales in their own renditions. So I will put a twist on this question. Ah. We will be transforming in a fairy tale fashion One existing member of the bunker Into one of these ice creams Wait, hang on, what? Yeah, in a kind of fairy tale curse

We're going to, hang on, say it So Fran Dresher becomes slumpf Dresher Well, no, they're just slumpf Wait, so they're going to be cursed into the object Their spirit now resides inside of one of these ice creams Yes, did I start up? Oh, my God.

As it is German, therefore, related to the fairy tales of old by the Brothers Green. Oh, and unnecessarily cruel. Oh, yes. Okay. So, wait, which bunker inhabitant are you going to transform? I let you make your pitch

once you find, like, you know, because I think it's, you know, you're not going to turn, I don't know, Nicole Kidman's hands into Pinocchio. No, that would be crazy. One's all about the hands and the other's all about the nose. Did you notice?

as well that at the bottom some of them have alcohol oh my god true it says on the bottom mit alcohol meat and the other one the other one is fabstoff which I think is colour colouring

oh my schnieman has alcohol schneeman I am partial to sad schneeman he's an alcoholic one I don't know why it's alcoholic on the kids menu listen it's Germany honey I just wanted to put lily de schnecker in because the snail is okay i'm i'm back in who do you want to turn into

lily dischnika well i don't know that i want to turn anyone into lily disnecker um okay so oh my god quick sticks come on lily de schnecker well i just want to do someone i don't really care about let's put you know what someone something ended this week and that's and just like that Yes. So maybe in the bunker, Carrie Bradshaw, too, is ended this week. Yes. And instead of going on to have more fabulous adventures. I think she could still have fabulous adventures.

Yeah. Melting and sliding around the floor. Yes. Being oogled by the hungry inhabitants of the bunker who weren't cursed by a German folklorian. You know, are you a Charlotte, are you a Miranda, or you are Lily Dishnik. That is the eight. old question. So I think that Carrie Bradshaw should be turned into the Liddishnik. Okay, well let's do the

old nursery rhyme that does it. You remember the fable it goes, round and round the city she walks in her heels and two

she bolts. Her feet go to ground her face becomes ball now there is nothing left at all Lily Dishnik Lili Dishnikin

for all of the time Thank you That is how it goes And now we play Dund dun dun dun dun And he just slows him on Lily Dishnikin Sitting on a New York City Street corner

just melting and hungry German children walking past on a tour going hmm should sing Lily to Schnecker okay

sorry slump yeah better look next time yeah you're such a schlump yeah we've already got which Smurf

yeah I'm glad we got to that before we go to do it yes okay don't make me drink along. Matt, can you do your quick favor?

Can you look up which word ending in whatever that was, was? Wasn't that like a German word? Oh, yes, that's right. Yeah, what was that word? Can you just give us a quick refresh? Like two minutes. Okay, we'll hear all about that word one final, well, not the final time. After this break.

to every word Leibfrauilmilt Excellent God, what a word Okay, welcome back listener In an interview with comic book Marvel Studios president, Kevin Faggy says audiences may not see

some characters from phase four and five ever again Yeah Harry Stiles Probably Yeah I would be surprised Why did you bring that up

I never saw Harry Styles ever again Okay Why did you bring that out I just came up across my feed I just thought the world we want to know Okay Okay So listener

Our final Topic for discussion today Is Which reboot gets into the bunker Yeah Now this is quite broad Well yeah Yeah

Yeah yeah Um, best believe it's not going to be the, uh, Jurassic Park reboot with Chris Pratt or this newest one with Scarjo. You didn't like that? No. None of that. Yeah. We haven't yet seen the Buffy reboot, but. Oh, that's going to be bad.

Let me just tell you, if you think it's going to be good, it's bad. Remember fun. Do you remember that? What other reboots exist? Well, there's the Charmed Reboot. Ah, that was pretty bad. There's also the Kraft reboot, which was actually a requal. I did not like that.

They rebooted absolutely fabulous. What? Yeah. There's, oh, I'm looking at a good, Angelina Ballerino, apparently came back. Oh, Arrested Development, that was terrible. Beverly Hills, 9-2-1-0. blues clues boy meets world um oh clone high how did that show come oh the comeback about to reboot

again but that's not a reboot that's a continue reboot is like forget what you saw before we're starting fresh that's true i think that is well what do you think about and just like that in all of that well is that's not a reboot i think that it clarifies it classifies as a no because it doesn't it's a continuation of the story it's not like meet carrie bradshaw for the very first time But I think it is spiritually a re-oh, okay, yeah, no, you're right. So for our classification, it has to be a complete, like, you don't ever need to have seen anything before. Like, who is Spider-Fand now?

Yes. Okay. Those are three hard, like this fantastic four is a reboot, kind of. Oh, is it only kind of? No, it is a reboot. Did you like the, which is your favorite Spider-Man? Spider-Man? Yeah.

You know, they just previewed new Spider-Man yesterday. Who? Well, no, like the new movie. Which reboot? Still the same one. Tom, Andrew, or Toby? I'd say, oh, I kind of quite like them all. I mean, it's Toby, come on once before.

Yeah, yeah, probably Toby. Probably Toby, Tom, Andrew. But I like Andrew, especially more these days. It's quite a heartthrob, really. Yeah, but he wasn't good in those films. No, those films went off. great, but I think that Andrew was probably, like, the most fun in the Spider-Man Bring Them All Together, movie.

Was that what it was called? That is what it was called. Oh, I liked the Invisible Man reboot. Yes. I liked the Evil Dead reboot. I think that's been really good. Should we put Mossy in? Elizabeth Moss in Invisible Man?

Yeah. She is good in that. That's good. What about the mummy? You like the mummy? I do, but not the reboot. No, that. was a reboot diva it was a universal monster from the 1920s 30s yeah like classic

Halloween costume mummy the mommy wow honey but you know what the star of that show wasn't really the mummy it was Brendan oh it was that young girl with her knives yes so like I think that takes some points away what about the invisible man and Elizabeth Moss star of the the film wasn't really an invisible man I could barely see him yeah but that's why Mossie gets in and not the invisible man. Well, then certainly we could have Brendan Fraser get in. Oh, true. And if we're going to put Brendan Fraser in, should we not put in Elizabeth Hurley, they go so well together?

And should we not put in Rachel Weiss's eyebrows? You know, but Darzl was a reboot. Really? It was a remake reboot. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazy. And the devil wasn't sexy in the original. Then what other character traits do they have?

I don't think it was Elizabeth Hurley. Like evil? Yeah, it was a man. I she can do no wrong including date Shane Warren um she did she you know she's in the MCU right who she oh wait don't make me try and care about the okay true true true true um wait who plays the devil is played by peter cook in the original ooh and lust is played by Raquel welch do we need to see the original bedazzled yes I only just found out it exists

I love bedazzled. Is that wrong of me to say? No, I think it's fabulous. It's so good. Okay, so Planet of the Apes. He can talk. Is that a reboot? It is because it's a complete retelling.

They are not linked. Mama, those original movies are so fun. There's six originals. Oh, they just get so bizarre and weird and the costuming is so atrocious. They are so fun to watch, highly recommend. And there are 10, if you count together, all of them. Oh, including like the Franco of it all, that era.

But I didn't think, that's not my reboot. But the Tim Burton ones, that's fun. That's crazy. It's so bad. What about when they redid the Smurfs? Did you like that? Well, I haven't, I can't say a, absorbed a lot of smurf content.

What's this one? Rebuild of Evangelion. Oh, Mama. Now that is a reboot. Let me tell you about that for a hot second. So, original... So, you touch the third rail. So, original... It's actually... It is so interesting.

So, like, Evangelion, one of the most, like, iconic franchises of anime, of all time. But certainly, like, the icon of the 90s came out across, like, 95. and 96. Incredibly incredibly popular, but it was insanely over budget, which is why you get a lot of these like, you know, like long pauses in a corridor shots because they were filling out episode lengths, but in a way became a part of the iconic DNA of the franchise, but it was actually because they overspent in action scenes in earlier episodes of the season. So there's all this history of like why Evangelion went down the road that it did. It's all about like depression and anxiety and all this stuff that kind of led to the finale being this like for this big mech

anime to end. For those of you who don't know, Evangelion is a show about robots. Yes. Yes. So for this huge action anime that's yeah all about robots fighting off like quote unquote angels which like the big enemies, but they're called angels because it's all tied to, you know, it's not about Catholicism, but it kind of is. But it all, it doesn't all end in a huge battle. It ends in this project called the Instrumentality Project, which is more about inner peace and coming to terms with yourself and all of these things. But that also was in line with all of the budget issues that they had. So the finale of this show is not a big action scene. It's just episode after episode of like characters talking to each other in like water or, you know, having flashing scenes of anxiety

and all this stuff. And the fans went absolutely insane, like negatively, like sending death threats to the company and like, how could this happen? And it was the biggest anime ever. And then it all just didn't go the way that the fans intended. So then they made two films that continued the story and kind of gave us this huge climactic ending battle, kind of, kind of, in their way, which was a brilliant end to the series and indeed kind of like stretched it out a bit further than the original anime and then closed everything off and kind of gave the fans what they wanted, but also still kind of stuck the landing that the director wanted.

And that was a huge success. And then the years went by and other animas came up and all this stuff. And Evangelion has uniquely stayed relevant more so than a lot of other animas, kind of like in that Akira or Ghost in the Shell kind of world where like, you know, big animas that stand the test of time. But that kind of wasn't enough. So the franchise then rebooted and planned out these four movies that would retell the entire story with some changes.

And then as the movies came out, so the first one is a very accurate and faithful retelling of the first couple episodes. And then the next one, it diverges a bit more. And then by the end it is this completely separate, like, wacko universe that is nothing like the original anime. and I think misses a lot of the heart of the original. And indeed, that's why the reboot of Evangelion will not get in the bunker. It's such trash.

And they inject this new character, Mari, the pink one. Oh, she sucks. Yeah, she's wearing pink, and we all like that. And yeah, she's wearing cunty glasses, and that can't be denied that it's incredible. Wait, what size are the glasses? Very small, like bayonetta-esque. They're incredible. And you say she shouldn't get into the bagels.

No! No, because we have Oscar, we have Ray, we have Massado. What the fuck do we need Mari for? Nothing. Well, she's got that plant farm. Sheldon that's going to get for something. Oh, that was good. That was a good one.

Yeah. Well, I guess, piss off. Yeah. Piss off. Yeah, listen, if you were thinking, what about Rebuild of Evangelion? No. Except that we did get some fantastic It had a Hikairo's songs to accompany those films but anyway yeah yeah yeah what other reboots exist well that's the

thing I get I mean I think in a reboot my favorite kind of thing is um is where they cast people that are just completely wrong or wouldn't have been cast in the original like um kind of talking about Scarlett Johansson um people like that like who had like Jonathan Bailey and Scarlete Hansen being like too attractive. Yeah. Which tends to happen in reboots where it's like, you know, in the original carry, Sissy Spaceek, even though she is a great beauty, is also a weird looking lady. And so her as carry is great.

Like that's like you can kind of see why the girls are bullying that carry because kids are cruel. And if you were as fabulous as, you know, Sissy SpaceX, you might not. be treated so right but in the remake it's um what's her name uh oh chloe grace morrette's who i would consider to be just like a stunning regular looking gal yeah who would be just very popular if she was at a school and not bullied at all yes so i'm like if the whole thing is about her getting bullied then what the fuck with who's bullying chloe grace morrette was she smell or something? Then say she smells. Yeah. Listen, like, sorry, viewer, you can't tell, but she's really stinky. Because there's no other reason that people would bully her. Yeah. Whereas, yeah,

she's basic with all those other kids. Yeah. Um, a fantastic point. What did you think about the new child's play where Chucky is no longer the result of a voodoo curse with a serial killer inside of him, but it's not AI. I never fucked with Chucky. I've never seen a Chucky film. Oh, my god yeah you should watch the first chucky it's real good it's a serial killer in the body of a dog yeah cool so a man who's like a robber

who's like a bad guy he gets trapped I can't remember why it's specifically he might be at the fun fun guys or whatever factory yeah and then through some

voodoo curse gets trapped inside the body of one of these toys and then a little boy gets it and his like the whole the whole first chucky film which is the best in my estimation um is that like this down on her luck mother who lives in skid row has no money to her name is barely holding it together works you know 10,000 jobs and can barely take care of her son uh her little son she gets him a toy and then he starts saying that like the toy is talking to him and he the toy is like acting up and doing all these violent things yeah but she's not seeing that so everyone starts thinking that this like poor single mother can't take care of her kid and now she's got this problem child and they start thinking that she's a bad mother and they're threatening to kind of like

take her kid away from her and so the film is really about that which is so sad and scary yeah because it's so like I don't know and it just like touches that nerve like no one believes you yeah good that's good yeah um but in the in the new one it's AI oh which is still good I actually liked the remake sorry around how have we not or and maybe you have but how have we not seen Matugan have you seen I know no I haven't no we should go see that. Isn't it out like right now? It's already been out. It's gone. It's not in the cinema anymore? No, it flopped. It flopped? Flop Tina Turner. What? Yeah. Does that mean we're not going to get Mithrigan? No, I don't think we're going to get Mithrigan. That's insane.

It was still Mithregan, just 2.0. Yeah. Yeah, but like, with three to three, three, three, with thirty three. Yeah. Um. What about the Garfield movie? That was my favorite. With your boy. I reckon, actually, Hellboy is probably my favorite. Have you seen the Hellboy movies? Wait, the reboot? They've rebooted it twice now. Okay, so I've seen the Guillermo de Toro.

Yeah, that was really good. Was that the original? I actually didn't mind those were the original ones. That's a film where they feel like they run out of money. Yeah, but it was, I thought the reboots were actually pretty good. Is that where they go into the underworld and there's like a talking growth? Talking growth? Yeah.

What is it talking growth? Like a man has. a growth on his back that has a face and it talks. I don't remember that bit. It sounds like a dream that you might have had. After seeing that film. Yeah. I did like Hellboy.

Yeah, I remember being very cool. And I love a trench coat. Hmm. Hmm. What do you think about... Matilda? I hate it. No, I don't know how we always get back here.

But what do you think about the Harry Potter reboot? Well, I saw that little daffy fucking kid who's playing Harry Potter. Yeah. And I was like, you poor little bitch. Yeah. Because it's like it went from being the dream that a generation had was that you might get cast in one role from Harry Potter, just something. When they were putting out the casting, even though we're in Australia.

Yes. With Australian accents. Yes. I think every kid was like, maybe I'll be asked to be in the film. Yeah. And now, bitch, what? you mean your parents i mean like it would be impossible to say no to like i don't think you would as a young child actor say no to the role of harry potter yes but big did you audition

kane no famously i auditioned for which one was it ron no no you would have to you would be ron i was i auditioned for queen of the damned all the other one whichever one was filmed here queen of the damned yeah thank you which is your Harry Potter. Is that kind of like Harry Potter? I play Queen of the Dam. Yeah, no, I think I would... The new Harry Potter kid looks too cute.

He doesn't have like Daniel Radcliffe's weird, blinky eyes. Daniel, watch out. You're on Sydney level now. You know how Daniel? He always blinks at different times. Like, just one eye after the other. He's fine. Have you seen that?

Like, when he blinks, one eye goes first and then the other one follows. It's like a little bit slow I think this whole cast Like looks AI generated Yeah they do Like they're so not real people There's so very scathing comments About pretty much all of them

It's just crazy Yeah Anyway, not that one It's also just like I mean It's so I just I think even if you were transphobic

And I'm sorry we always come back to J.K. Rowling. But, like, even if you're transphobic... It's the great betrayal of our generation. Yes. Even if you're transphobic, if I was, like, a, you know, like a stately transphob just trying to live my stately transphob life. And I, like, you know, I'm thinking, like, a middle-aged, like, Facebook woman just sitting there, like, who's just, like, she holds it amongst.

a plethora of other problematic views. But it's not her life. I think that if you were that baseline transphurb and you saw the way that JK was carrying on, like the way, like the vehemence, the insanity. Even just spending that much time on Twitter,

I think if you were like a stately transphurb, you'd be like, oh, give it a rest. Do you know what I mean? Like I think you would be turned off by just like the extremity. Diva. but what are you talking about? Like, I know just so, like,

there are people in this country of ours that have the most rancid, putrid, fucking hostile views against all manner of people. Yeah. And I think that they would be like, yeah, but you don't go and just say them all the time. You sit and just think them quietly in your house.

And have them come out in what we call microaggression. Because she could have been just as transphobic and quiet about it. Yeah. Quiet is not her strong suit. No. No. It's just tragic. But also, yeah, the whole thing is tainted.

Yes. With her fucking... Yes. She's such a black mark. Yeah. On that franchise that she created. That, yeah, the thought of saying yes or even like going for one of those roles is... is very interesting.

Yeah. Especially for some of those, like, older actors that have chosen, knowing everything that's happened. Even, like, seeing the media coverage of when Daniel or Emma say something negative about JK, it always gets a bit of a, like, wind behind it because, I don't know, it's kind of, like, big news. So, like, they wouldn't be. unaware of that discourse. No. So like aligning yourself with her now is so curious because you could not. Yeah. Especially because what's his name from Third Rock? John Lithgow. Yeah. Like isn't that a weird

pick? He seems more like. Yeah. I don't know. That seems that's the weirdest casting for me. I just thought that he was more of an ally. And I, there are some, like I know that John Lithgow is probably conservative, like, but I just don't need to know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, it's like with Helena Bonham Carter, she was so, like, everyone needs to leave J.K. alone. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah. Why'd you have to tell me that? Yeah, I know. And it's so annoying. Oh. And, like, Ray Fines, who'd played Voldemort. Oh. And it's just like, I love Ray Fines. I think he's so good. Yeah. And I'm just like, shut up. Oh, what did he say? He was like, this is all just ridiculous. Oh, come on. And it's like, I get that you went and had nice wine with her one

time. That doesn't mean that you can't critically observe her. Like, you know what I mean? It's like, yes. Bo. Yeah. Well, I take back the nice thing I said about the middle reboot of Planet of the Apes. And you were the only person that's ever said a nice thing about that. Yes. Oh. Yeah. Want to play? But you know who is pro trans, right? Do you know who is pro trans, right? Yeah. Chuckie. Actually?

It's canon. So Chucky was, like, Child's Play was written by a gay guy. Yeah. And in the third... Gay guys love horror movies. They do. Yeah. I think in the fourth Childs Play film, after Bride of Chucky, the Seed of Chucky.

Yeah, a gay guy wrote that. And the seed of Chucky, Chuckie and his... doll bride give both to a doll child and the doll child is non-binary and can't you know like is struggling to kind of decide other gender and then they resolve to be like you don't have to decide and this was in 2007 or something let's put this nb doll in that could be the reboot wait until you see the nb doll because you will wait i'm looking it off right now what's its name oh my god Why do I know?

Chucky N.B. Dahl. Glenn Ray, known as Glenn Tilly. Oh. Okay, so this? Yeah. Okay, so listen, I have indeed looked up this NB diva. And absolutely Glenda? Glenn or Glenda.

Glenn or Glenda. I think they land on Glenn, but, yeah, we all have to watch. aliases, sweet face, that's by Tiffany, shit face, that's by Chucky. Oh, Gigi, combined with Glenn. So Glender and Glenn, Gigi. Gigi. Oh, babe, whatever. Gigi, you are the survivor of all reboots, and you will be going into the bunker.

Do you think? Yeah, I agree. Oh, yeah. I think, like, that reboot, and we practically already put another reboot. in because we have Lily de Schnecky. Which is really, um... Yeah. And just like that, I'm a Schnecky.

Yeah, look at what happened with that reboot. She got turned into a fucking ice cream snail. Do you think if they had done that in episode of one of just like that? Yeah. People would have fallen off quicker or... And had less complaint? If all of the girls got turned into German... Oh, just Gary.

It's scary. Everything else, and it cuts around, like, you see what Charlotte's doing. Her kids have gotten, like, detention or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they have genders and things. And then you cut to Miranda and she's, you know, divorcing Steve. Yeah. And then it cuts back to a slowly melting snail ice cream in, like, a gigantic New York apartment.

Yeah. With some German children just pying. Yeah, at the window. Licking their lips. Oh. And I thought to myself, but the voiceover remained. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. As I slowly dripped down the stairs of my New York mansion,

and I thought to myself, aren't we all slowly melting? Chaste by German children. Licking their lips. Okay, well, good. That locks in the things of the week. So, in a Grimm's fantasy style, we have Carrie Bradshaw turning into

the Lily Dishnakee Lily Dishnakee We have Gigi Gigi The Child of Child's Play Child Yeah An incredible reboot mascot

And then We have the Goatsi Symbols for all Kardashians Yes All Kardashians welcome Amazing Okay lock it all in

Oh what a week Listener I hope you've enjoyed Thank you so much I hope you know Death to everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matchyers. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at www.com.

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