Death To Everyone - Death To... The Ten Commandments, Housekeeping & Sex Toys

Episode Date: June 30, 2025

Bonsoir dear listener,Please enjoy our weekly ramblings. Sincerely, Lazy & ZeldaFollow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠���⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you.

I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. I'm gonna show it to you. It's time to listen to a pod. Now listen, listen, listener. I'm going to start today's episode by saying congratulations to Freya Armani for winning Young Performer of the Year at the Queensland Drag Awards. I don't know what it's actually called, but. Have you seen any video from your Queensland sissies on the Instagram showing what the

Queensland Drag Awards look like. I saw a little bit of what it looked like, but I also just saw a lot of the Adelaide ones. It's obscene. They all look grander than the more local one. The size, like in a cathedral, a cathedral of drag, and we are at the corner hotels. Did you see Evelle reenacting her losing? Yes, it was incredible. Sorry to Evel for not tweeting.

Yeah. Um, yes, no, it was, it's, it's just very interesting. I mean, like having now done a bit of touring around this great nation of ours and, um, having seen the conditions of like, other drag queens dressing rooms, I am like, what the fuck, Melbourne? Like, are you fucking kidding me? Why do we have not a single bar or drag performance space

with a fucking dressing room? Quality dressing room. Like there is, oh, we have like three utility closets that house every single drag performer in Melbourne. Yeah, and all of the drag nights here, usually at least two divas, often three, and at least two numbers, often three, which means at least four costumes, maybe 12.

Or in my case, one. Well, yes. Um, and that's just, you know, they take a lot of space. I just, did you see recently that Circuit pulled out their staircase and then didn't make their dressing room anything up? I was just about to say, so like bless a little bit of a freshen up at Old Circuit. Yes. Some gorgeous booths from, I mean, sure, why not?

Yeah. But yeah, that manky little closet. That was built by Filmer Box back in the day because Filmer was like, we need a dressing room because they were originally just going behind a curtain. Yes. And she went in there with her power tools and made a shed. But it's actually become smaller because they did do something to that shed is they put another wall in because it used to go up the staircase and bags and stuff.

Like I used to sit up there and watch the shows. Yeah. Um, and when you would do so you'd crawl over all the other drag bags because it's not for room back there. So there's actually less room. Yeah. But they must have a grand plan. I hope if they don't turn that smoking area, like the one where they have that little bar into a dressing room.

Also, cause it's like somewhere where you can emerge out onto the stage. Cause a dressing room that's like a crowd between you and the fucking stage is not good either. No, it is awful. The 86 has that. But there is a dark staircase, so that's really annoying. I think that's the issue. It's these fucking long buildings.

Yeah. When I used to do nights at the Toff, that was great. Like great green room, huge green room. Yeah. Um, when I used to do nights at the top, that was great. Like great green room, huge green room. But it was like three flights of stairs away. So every time you would go up and down nightmare. That's not a green room. That's not a green room. Like that's like a room in another fucking building. Yeah. No, I just think we need to go and explain what a fucking green room is. It needs to be connected to the stage by a concealed passage where they do not see the performer before they emerge on stage.

Also, I would like a curtain that opens and closes. And if we were being really that girl, a bathroom? It needs to have a fucking bathroom. I hate using the public bathroom at a gig. It's just so humiliating. The exception for green room in Mary's Poppin, they have a green room that's upstairs in like a former bathroom. Now while it is not connected to the stage by concealed passage, it is, you

go through a different route and you don't have to go through the main audience. Correct. That's incredible. That is good. And that little side stage is also serviceable. Yeah. Oh, exactly. There's enough room to stand there.

There's enough space there to be. And like, yeah. And the majority of the audience won't have seen you by the time you get to the stage, which I think is like just for the showmanship. Yes. The other thing is we need follow spots. Yes. We need to bring in follow spots, like at every venue. I'm going to start bringing them to events.

I just want to be able to see just a little bit of my face. Anyway, I'm Lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And of course, driving the toot toot space truck is mad. The big space truck. Oh yeah. What's the sound that we do for a space truck? Bomp.

Yeah. One more time. Bomp. Bomp. Yeah. Mad Max style. Yeah. You're that doof musician. Yeah. Yeah. You're that doof musician.

Yeah. Yeah. This floating man playing the electric guitar. Why did, um, Mad Max take off, but Tank Girl didn't. Cause Mad Max had an ending that wasn't just a shitty thrown together animation. Could be one of several points, I guess. I love Tank Girl cause I love Laurie Petty and that sexy man. Ice-T?

No, the man at the start who she makes get naked when she's pointing the gun at him. It's been a while. That was definitely a transformative moment for me. Yeah, but great films all around. The new Tank Girl, I think Margot Robbie's producing. Sorry, sorry, sorry. They're doing a new tank girl. What?

Yeah. I think Margot Robbie was originally going to play her, but then I think has kind of stepped back. Oh. Kind of similar vibes to Harley Quinn, I guess. Yeah. Or like that version of Harley Quinn that she played. That's curious. Yeah.

Cool. Very fun. Imagine one that isn't like fucked in its production. Oh. Well, I hope they don't improve the prosthetics because that's really charming. No, it was so good. Yeah.

So good. And Laurie Petty is so good. Yeah. Like just, what a cool chick. We just don't have that. Where's that girl? Where's the cool chicks at? Where are the cool chicks?

What happened to Queen Stefani? You know? Oh, I know. God, it's so bizarre. Yeah. Jesus. Jesus. Jesus came, Jesus claims another life.

Yeah, works his magic. Yeah. Now, the only other things I have to say, just quickly going back to the Melbourne drag scene, I was walking down the street after being at Thursday for the Pride pageant and I ran into Daisy Confuse from Adelaide and she made a pitch, as you might remember in two episodes ago, we asked who our most influential listener might be. Oh, it's been quite contentious, yes.

She said, I'm the only thing that stands between you and the egomania of Miss Eve-elle. She's like, you've mentioned Eve-elle four times in a row on this pod, and I'm the only thing keeping her ego in check because I go into that dressing room and I tell her what for. And then, yeah, that was interesting. Well, what salacious tea. That's her pitch. Also, we had pitches from incredibly powerful people in the Melbourne scene. Yes, there's been a few. We'll take them under consideration.

We don't know everyone who listens, you know? And if you were truly powerful, I don't think you'd need to say it. Well, that's the thing. I feel like maybe there's like a very, maybe like, you know, Albanese, the president of this country. Yeah. Or who else could listen? What's another person? Well, maybe Uma. Uma?

Uma Thurman could listen. What do you think Uma Thurman could listen. What do you think Uma Thurman would think about this podcast? I think she'd enjoy when we reference Gwyneth and like the other A-listers. People in her echelon. Yeah, she'd be like, oh. Well, do you think Uma and Zachary Quinto are friends? Do I think Uma Thurman and Zachary Quinto are friends?

No, I don't think she would suffer that homosexual No, well, they were in the the american remake of the slap together. That's why I think of it a slap. Um No, I don't think she just was like, yeah, he's fine. I think he's not fine. I think he's quite Guh, yeah, but I feel like they'd roll in like her like him and Ethan Hawke would get along. You know, that's true. Ethan Hawke. Her husband. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like they're both kind of pretentious. Uma Hawke. Yeah. Maya Hawke, her daughter. Maya Hawke.

You know, Maya Hawke? No. From Stranger Things? The lesbian? Lesbian. Are you just Googling lesbian? Thankfully, you know, Maya Hawke. Maya Hawke. Lesbian. Are you just Googling lesbian? Thankfully. You know, Maya Hawke.

Maya Hawke. Have you watched the Stranger Things? Oh, I didn't know that was Uma. She looks so much like Uma. I can see it now. I think she's got a fringe. Oh, I really see it now. That's cool.

Yeah. She was born with that fringe. And who's her father? Ethan Hawke. What? Like from Gattaca. Yeah, she was born with that free and who's her father Ethan Hawke like from Gattaca. Yeah cool, um I'm so over that show. Oh I can't believe that show has been going for ten years Ten years live have they done five seasons in ten years cuz it takes 10 and all the episodes are too long.

Diva, I don't care. And when they brought, Oh God, I just, what do you mean? Yeah. I also haven't watched any of the last season. I did, but like not concentrating. I just like, I'm like, you told a very great and charming season one. Yeah. With a pretty good season two. And now I'm done. I don't think any show should have more than two seasons. That is your MO. Well, what show, I mean, like there's maybe a few examples

where it's like, oh, the third season is really kick ass. And then there's like network TV shows where I could see a case for like the sixth season is actually really good Yeah, but I think now that we're in the kind of prestige era. I just think to and done to is at max will also HBO max um Because the the lifeline of shows is so fragile Yeah, it's like plan it for two seasons, and then you can tell your story and get out before you get cancelled. Not like the show being cancelled. Well, that's the issue though, because Stranger Things, like this whole fucking retconning,

throwing in like a uber villain. Yes. At the like, in the like the latest seasons, you're like, he wasn't in the fucking show. Yeah. That, oh, what you just cut around him for the first two seasons. Oh, so you're me with lost season three or whatever. That's, I think they needed to bring Bob back.

And I know I've made this pitch before, but Bob should have been the fucking main villain. Um, what do you think about Buffy season eight slash season? Oh, we need to stop. You're not into SMG. Listen, can I ask you a question? Recently said this should be bringing back everyone. Can I ask you a question?

Yes. What. Requel or like remake of a show has been good. Oh. Any of them? Well. Which one? No.

Was the rest of development new seasons good? I didn't even watch the last one. No, no, of course it was bad. Because I watched the second last and it was so bad. Yes. Now, we love the shows. I love Buffy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

The only one, and it's messy, and it's not actually that good, but it is good, is Gilmore Girls A Year In The Life. And that's bad, but it's good. But I don't think that there's such a thing as a good version of this thing going well. I really wonder. Oh, the comeback. The comeback.

And the comeback is coming back, which is great. We need to just force you to sit down and watch the first few seasons. Yeah. So I've seen a lot of, um, what's her face? Lisa. Yeah. Saying something. Yeah.

They just come back for that. Yeah. Which, uh, I have no understanding of what I'm looking at, but I'm like, I would like to see her in things. It is so discordant with your entire personality that Valerie cherishes, not like a centerpiece of your whole life. Because the show is like, it's like, just deeply the sort of thing you would have been watching like in your teen years and just been like, I love this fucked up show.

I need to do it. Yeah. Get on Plex. Yes. Go and do that now. Indeed I will. I was about to start watching Euphoria, listener, because I'm, I don't know, just hibernating in winter as one does.

You need to know what's happening with those kids at Euphoria. Yes, but instead of doing that, I first did overcompensating, which I've just finished. I enjoyed, but I don't know. I was saying briefly before we started recording that it, it's very camp over the top and like not realistic in setting storytelling, all that stuff, which you can totally just like, I don't like, it doesn't matter. It's just the fun of the characters. You can totally just like, I don't like, it doesn't matter. It's just the fun of the characters and whatever, but they all just fit these tropes, which again is kind of the point, right?

But I don't know, it just, it, it sits on content that is so well trodden already. I just found it a bit like, Oh, can't we do, can't there be any other version of this same thing? Cause it's just the same thing, but slightly higher. You're talking about like, um, gay coming out stories sort of stuff. Yeah. Like the gay jock and then like he goes to college and like hooks up with the girl and then like, Oh, but then they ended up being best friends and she's the fag hag.

I think you're just describing the plot of this show specifically and no other show. No! No, no, no. And then this happens and... Yeah, but it's all just so expected. Yeah. What do you want, dinosaur? Well, yeah. What about if a gay dinosaur went to college? Yeah.

Goes up with a girl dinosaur. Yeah, and then she becomes the fag hag. They say that a lot in their show. Um, yeah, I dunno. I enjoyed it, but I dunno. Also like, I just don't know that like obviously cause I've never been to an American college, but I just don't know that American colleges work like that or look like that or anyone would say anything in those settings outside of screen media.

Yeah. Like, you know, the, the like, uh, I was going to say induction. What are they? They're like hazing ceremonies and stuff. It's like, is that actually actually happened or is it just in American pie? Whatever. Real like to, cause I was talking to Chrissy, my friend, the other day. And I was like, she did some high school in America. And she, or what do they call it, senior, whatever. Yeah, middle school. Yeah, the one above that. But she was like, the one thing, it was like suburban town,

like I think somewhere in Texas, like just like real like meat and potatoes, like real red, white and blue kind of plays. And like the middle of fucking nowhere, like not like it's just, just the sub, the American suburbs, hardcore, where the whole town would turn out on a Friday night to go and see the football team play, like the high school football team. And she was like, the one thing that was like almost exhausting about going to school there is that like there was a party or celebration or tradition about every single facet of school life. So it was like, this is blue tea week, everyone wears blue tees and we all have a blue tea disco

on the Friday night. And then you have to do this and then you have to do that. And then the next week is Valentine's day and everyone has to give a carnation red for this pink for this and white for this. And we decorate the whole school. Then after that is spring fling. And then we have homecoming and then, you know, and it's like, there is not a piece of the school calendar that is not accounted for by some kind of like made up over the top celebration. And I think that that is like a really distinctly American thing

that does happen at colleges as well, where it's like, now we have this intense tradition that has been observed ever since and we're going to take it very seriously. Whereas in Australia, it's like, ah, we've called off the blue light disco this year because Alice, you know, the new teacher just thought it was a bit much. Yeah. And then that's pretty much it. Oh, we won't be doing it.

We're going to do camp every second year, kids. Yeah. Like, we'll do a school show every second year. Yeah, my school transitioned every second year. What the fuck was that about? It's just true. It's a bit much energy every year. We're just going to keep things nice and chill. Um, I wondered if maybe the same things were happening here and I just didn't

partake in them, not that I would often opt out of partaking in things, but, um, yeah, like I think back to like, oh week and I went to two different unis. You were at Swinburne? Swinburne. Oh, I did, well, actually kind of three. I did like, I did Monash and then I did ACU and then I did Swinburne? Swinburne, oh, I did, well, actually kind of three. I did Monash and then I did ACU and then I did Swinburne. Where's the Monash campus?

The main one is in Clayton. And then where's ACU? But I only took one subject there. The Southern Catholic University? Yeah. In Collingwood? Yeah. Oh, I didn't know that.

It's like the math, it's near, it's right near Brunswick street. Oh. Yeah. And then Swinburne and Pratt. I was in Pratt campus, then I was also in the Hawthorne campus, which that's where the acrobat lived when I hooked up with him that time and he skated. And can I tell you, in my recent archiving experience of my life, digitally, I found all the photos of the acrobat from like 2012.

Amazing. Um, so. The archive is going well. Yeah. Mama. I like, I'm ready. Don't call me mother. My name's Bianca.

I'm ready for it to be over, but it's so good. The thing that is taking so long is that importing. So I've officially put my entire life on cloud. So that's great. So if you want to hack, now's the time. Okay. Um, there is that. That's fine.

Um, it hasn't happened to anyone recently. Oh my God. Except for all the celebrities. Oh, well, got nothing to worry about then. Um, yeah, but putting things into photos, like the Mac, like photos, uh, takes so long for them to sink. And if you try to, cause I'm doing like 5,000 photos at a time and just take so long, so I'm still importing photos and then I put them in and then they color

the ones I don't need or want, and then I import the next slot, but like, it takes like 10 hours to update each time I bring them in. So it's a very long process, but anyway, are you just sitting and watching it the whole time? No, but the other thing is you can't let the computer go to sleep because it stops uploading. You can so, oh, but no, I don't want to do that because my work around is that I just set up different fish cams on YouTube.

And my favorite one that I found is of the Florida Keys. And I just have that going in the background to keep the computer awake. So that's good. Oh good, yeah. You don't want to turn off the sleep setting. Well why, when I've got fish cams? True, true.

Yeah, I'm confused why I would offer. I know, you're so right. They should just take that setting off the computer. The good people at Apple. Yeah, if you could just switch it to Florida Keys fish cam. You got to turn on a fish cam. Um, but what I found about these live fish cams is that they're not live all the time. They have it like an end period, but not the Florida Keys one.

That's why it's like when the TVs used to go off at three o'clock in the night. Yeah. And just be like, and then you get like, like I did one of like some reef somewhere. And then after, I don't know, 45 minutes, it was like, thanks for watching. See you tomorrow. It's like, this is not a live feed. Well, it is just not 24 hours. Yeah.

But like, I'm not interested in partial, like eight hour feed. Get real. The whole point is that you put it on. So my photo is going to upload and then I don't have to think about it. I keep looking back at my computer, falling can upload and then I don't have to think about it. And you never leave it. I keep looking back and my computer's falling asleep and then I wake it up to see a, thanks for watching. It's like, I wasn't watching. My peripheral vision might've been. Anyway, so it's been a really exciting week. Sounds infuriating.

Yeah. And what are you going to do now with all, I mean, I kind of, I'm glad that you're such an archivist because I have no intention to ever do this thing that you're doing. Yes. But you've benefited from it because I have 10 years of your life. If I just stay friends with someone who's like very type A, then I won't have to ever archive my life. You'll just, I'll just get the by proxy.

Yes. Did you enjoy that one I sent the other day? Horrifying. I'm just always horrified to see depictions of me in the media. Oh, it's great. Even private media. Yeah. Oh God, it's terrible. I don't think people should be able to look at themselves. I often think the same thing. But yeah, quite good. But anyway, I found photos of that hot acrobat.

And his dick? No dick, but just butt. How will we ever know what his dick looked like? I remember it being incredibly like forgettable. But that was before you had any experience. True. So maybe it was, you know, pick a liver. Can I tell you, because I don't think I said this.

Did we talk about last week or the week before? I can't remember. Who cares, but listener, you know. I'm not archiving this podcast. But I or the week before? I can't remember. Who cares? But listener, you know. I'm not archiving this podcast. But I don't know how much I went into it. I did talk about how I had to watch him roller skate in the parking lot, but he was like, was like emerging into being like a furry, right?

Yeah. Maybe I spoke to that. But one thing like that I will never forget is that he was telling me about a hookup that he'd had. Like, I think he was more of a bottom, um, or at least in this scenario. And anyway, I just forever will remember him describing his hookup experience and him like asking the guy to like come in his tail Which like what synthetic fibers it'll come out at least yeah, but like Meaning like his asshole I guess oh he didn't have like a Like because a plug or something that he wanted like come on the no, I don't think. I think he met like come in my ass, but like, but that's the thing. Yeah, I don't know.

Either way, dogs have buttholes. Yeah. Like, do they like, that's just, I don't know. And I remember being so perplexed, but to, you know, like shy to inquire further. Yeah. That's where the tail comes out of. Well, no, it comes out of the tailbone. Yeah.

The butthole. Well, I guess that's it. There's a fundamental- Most dogs, their tail comes out of their butt. Right out of the butthole. Yeah. That's what I thought. Yeah.

Well, that's it. And that's why you're not a furry. Confirmed. And you've always had cats, I presume. Yeah. Well, the cats too. They have their tail comes out of their butt. Oh, yeah.

But yeah, what a haunting memory. Yeah. Anyway, but now too. They have their tail comes out of their butt. Oh, yeah. But yeah, what a haunting memory. Yeah. Anyway, but now I've secured his photos are now in the, my photos area. The vault. Yeah. Burnt into the side. Are they? Yeah, for some reason I still have photos of his butt.

Once you look at them and they go in the vault, is that like it then? That memory is just like sealed? I don't need to revisit. Is this like therapy? The memory of him for some sealed? I don't need to revisit the memory of him for some time. I don't think. I am worried that there's going to come a time in your life where you're like, you know, kind of an old man in a rocking chair being like, let me go back to the

cloud. And then you're like, take me to the clouds. Oh, told me I used to need to come on his day. No. The memories! Most of the... Oh, my boring... Sorry. The memories.

Um, yeah, no. I mean, most of the images are of my life. My life! And like dragon stuff, but I don't know. Dragon stuff. Dragonology. Dragons, yeah. Um, okay.

But can we bounce to another depressing story? Oh, please. So this week I have continued my working trend of just working all over the place at the moment, which is fine. You've seen the sites of all Victoria has to offer. Yes, and some of Adelaide. But on Wednesday. Wait, did you go and see Katy Perry?

I didn't, no. It didn't happen, which is so sad. What do you mean? It didn't happen. I was too fucking... So, okay well. So it turns out I've got two depressing stories. Yeah.

Well, just Zelda went to Adelaide recently and was able to bump into a bunch of our gorgeous Adelaide friends, friends of the pod, whose name I won't mention so they don't get an inflated ego so Daisy Confused doesn't have to do more of her work. But when she was there, she was bemoaning the fact that she had, as a fake fan, not booked tickets to go and see Catherine performing in her hour of need post-divorce.

And then the divas there were like, well, why don't you come with us? We have a spare ticket to Katy Perry in Adelaide. And Zelda said, well, what could that possibly cost? I'll just fly over to Adelaide. And that's the context. Here you are. So when I said yes at the time, I had a significant outstanding invoice, but I was like, that will fund this trip.

And then I also had a very significant work expense that was waiting to be paid. And just neither of them came in time. So it just didn't happen. As it happened, one of the girls didn't end up going for her own reasons anyway. So it all kind of fell apart from both ends. But those tickets were still purchased. So it all kind of fell apart from both ends. But those tickets were still purchased. Yes, but they resold them. Oh, right. So sadly, it didn't happen.

But, you know, we have a lifetime. Maybe not. Maybe not. I don't know what's going to happen to poor Katie after this. Every time she seems to tour, she seems to go through some life trauma. Yeah. So earlier last week, I was talking to the divas and I was like, look, I'm waiting on these, uh, paychecks.

The second they hit, I can book everything, but I just, that's it. And it didn't happen. And then I was at home on Friday night, sitting on my fucking couch, watching overcompensating. Well, I was watching both. Um, and then at like 6. Well, I was watching both. God. And then at like 6.30 PM, I get that outstanding invoice paid.

Amazing. And I'm like, cool. The concert starts in 30 minutes in Adelaide. If only this had come literally 24 hours beforehand, because like we called it on like the Thursday night. Yeah. It doesn't come in by then, then I'm calling it. Yeah.

Yeah, so literally 24 hours, but. Well, at least now you haven't wasted that money. This is true. This is very true. This is very true. But yeah, that's sadly, yes. Why don't you take some of that money and put it into an emergency fund

for the next time Katy Perry does something? That is quite literally what I'm gonna do. Maybe not just for Katy Perry, but for any extracurricular comes up. A box that you can bury in the yard. Yes. With a shovel. Yes. But I need to do it while blindfolded because otherwise I'll dig it out and

order Uber Eats or something. Why cover in dirt? Oh, can I say just quickly? I like was sitting on the couch last night with husband watching television. And I was like, I'm going to secretly order us two McFlurries, just to end the evening because I feel I need it. Ordered the McFlurries and Kurjan didn't know. I got up and went, like when they arrived, and when I got to the door, the person was

like, you might want to hold this from the... Oh my God! And I was like you might want to hold this from oh my god And I said hello and then they were like oh What are you doing diva? What are you doing here? And then they ran away What yeah Yeah, what do you mean? It was some, let me have a look. Like he ran away with your spilt mackerel? No, no, no, no, no. But like, it was like a Melbourne, like drag freak. Oh. Self-described drag freak. And they like sent me a message immediately

after me like, I'm sorry, I've just never run into anyone that I know while I've been working like out of drag in Uber Eats. And I was like, and now you know my whole life. And then just before, like literally five minutes before that, I'd been on Instagram and there'd been a message being like, sorry that Koala Matt like have fucked up your couch so bad, but I hope you enjoyed your pizzas yesterday. And I was like, what? How do you know that I had pizza yesterday?

Oh my God. Except for just being a good guess. With a high probability. It's Casey. pizzas yesterday and I was like, what? How do you know that I had pizza yesterday? Just being a good guess. Um, with a high probability. And then they're like, well, you were like, you were at my local pizza shop and like I walked in just as you were leaving with your pizza order and I was too shy to say hello. Oh my God. You creeps.

That's amazing. Yeah. Oh my God. You creeps. That's amazing. I can we go one night to, um, Royalee Punjab because I've ordered food from there so many times, but I've never been into the establishment. It probably doesn't exist. But I feel like if I went in and they heard my name, they'd be like, you've funded. And my child got a scholarship. Yes. Yes. That's what you were doing instead of going to Katy Perry. Well, right.

Yes, I was fun. Yes. Um, okay. Anyway, now your second depressing story for the week. Yes. Well, maybe third, depending on how you think about fish camp. So on Wednesday, is it still running right now? Well, no, well.

So before I left the lazies, it was like countdown. I was like, I can either import the, cause I'm working, you know, like top down and I'm up to August, 2019. So I'm like, I can either import August 2019, if it would just hurry the fuck up. And it stopped like moments before I had to leave. So I've put my computer to sleep and when I get back, we'll

recommence with August, 2019. What? Also 2019 with how many, how many more years to go? I've got from, so I've done from 2012 to 2019, except I have a folder that is from the old computer. Bottom up, not top down. Top down would be the most recent certainly. Yes.

But I've already done 2025 to 2022. So now in the middle, this system doesn't make any sense. Yeah. But once it's all in, then it won't matter. So I'm just working down. Well, it doesn't, it sounds like you're working down and up. I've done both. Yes.

Yes. Seems just ass backwards. If you ask me, this is insane. Okay. Well, let's check out your archiving system sometime. Well, you know what? Sometimes no archive is better than just this, whatever you're calling. Yeah.

Um, but anyway, no, the computer is just having a little rest cause she's been through it. Anyway, on Wednesday I had work and we had team meeting on Wednesday night. So I had like a late-ish night. We finished at like 8.30, nine o'clock. Then on Thursday I was meant to be working at the airport. And I had two options. I was there to work with a team member

who was starting at five, doing like five to one, or I could do seven to three with the manager. And I was like, well, my options are be tired or be tired. Cause I finished work at nine and then I started either five or seven, both of which is not enough time. But yeah, but if I choose to agree, then it's fine. And so whatever I was like, well, I'm going to work with a team member.

I might as well just be really tired instead of somewhat tired. So we get up four o'clock in the morning after getting home at nine 20 or whatever it was. And of course I couldn't go straight. Like I probably went to bed at like one o'clock in the morning after getting home at nine 20 or whatever it was. Oh my God. And of course I couldn't go straight to like, I probably went to bed at like one o'clock. So I get up four o'clock. I go, I get my Uber to the airport. And when you work at the airport, if you're there permanently, the airport, the airport, the airport.

Oh, sorry. Um, do you write that? The airport, the airport, the airport. So, um, do you write that? You, you get a pass. I think it's called an ASIC. So passing whatever. Yeah. Um, and just means that you can like, you work there, right? So you get through security. I did a shift at the Hudson's coffee in the airport.

Um, but if you don't work there permanently, obviously you don't need one of these passes, but in order to stay loitering for eight plus hours in those areas, you need a reason. Yeah. So you need a visitor pass. Um, so you get buddied up with someone who has the permanent pass. That's the only way you get one of these. So, uh, I've worked there several times now this year, so I'm familiar with the process, whatever. So I go in and meet, um, this team member and you know, she's already done part of the paperwork and I

get in, I fill out the rest. We go to security and they're like, here you go. Here's everything. Of course you need your ID. Um, and all that stuff. So we're there and like, it's like 4 50 AM at this point. Um, and the guy is like, cool. Um, you know, we can't let you in. I was like, Oh, okay. Expecting border security to come and arrest me for, I don't know. You've got cocaine inside of you.

Yeah. I was like, what? Why? Um, it's like this idea is expired. It's like, what are you saying to me? Because listener, obviously I had to hand it over my learner's permit. Oh my God. And listener, this has happened once before in my life, uh, 10 years ago, because the

learner's permit expired after 10 years. So here we are 10 years after the last 10 years and it expired like 10 days beforehand. And I don't know how often you're checking the expiry of your learner's permit, but it took me by surprise. So then I was at the airport and I was like, so could you take like my Medicare card or have my point in nursery card? And he's like, no, it needs to be photo ID.

And this one's expired. I can't stand, I mean, number one, that's insane on your part, but like, but I cannot stand that kind of like, okay, so what is, what conspiracy is at foot here? Yeah. Do you think that this is my grand plan to be here at 4 40 in the fucking morning, having worked my way up in this specific job that allows me access here over many

years of my life? And then I have this piece of ID that's now expired, but like, if I can get in on it, I get to what? Like, what exactly am I going to do that's going to affect the safety of this place? You know, because this idea I have is now out of date. You couldn't fucking help me out here for one second. You know what? I did over by 10 days.

Yeah, but I did debating in high school and to rebut that, I'd say, if you've got a learner's permit that has expired twice. You're a terrorist. There's, you're sus. You're suspect. So good call on security. Surely if you had a master plan, you'd check the experience. I've been working on it since I was 17 and I got my first learners.

Then when I was 27 and expired, I thought, oh, in 10 more years, my plan will come to fruition. I just, you know, they talk a lot about this kind of, this idea of, what is it? Security theater. That like, it is like, 98% of it is just about creating an air of security instead of actually keeping anyone safe. Like it's just about the optics so that when you walk through security, you have this sense of like, it's like a deterrent essentially. And also to kind of for a regular, you know, schmegular Joe Schmo, you see that

and you say, well, they're obviously working really hard. I think you go wrong. Yeah. And so all of this bureaucracy that actually doesn't do shit. It's like me not being able to go and do my job now today, wasting my time, and wasting your time is because what? A piece of fucking paper says that you're not allowed to, like, are you joking? And you're just like following this like arbitrary rules.

Like despite the fact that it completely goes against any fucking sense, like, what are you talking about? Yeah. So, did you not go into work? No, I went, I, he was like, you can probably renew it online. Do you have like the VicRoads app? I was like, no, I don't have the VicRoads app. You don't have a license.

Do you think I'm actively like clocking my hours 20 years in, babe? No. Oh God, it's hanging at the headless. Oh my God. Wait, did you get it when you were 16? 17. Okay. Yeah.

So you had an intent. Yeah. What happened 20 years ago? What do I need to drive a car for? It just expired. I don't know. Yeah. Um, so you had an intent. Yeah. What happened 20 years ago? What do I need to drive a car for? It just expired. I don't know. Yeah. But maybe I've never wanted it more.

Um, like this year, I really see the benefit. You suddenly see the benefit. Yeah. I, I'm like, I've come around. I think I'd like to. Yeah. I'd like a little Jeep, like in Jurassic Park. And Gilmore Girls. Yes. Yeah. I'd like a little Jeep, like in Jurassic Park. And Gilmore Girls.

Yes. La la la. And like Willem drives that Jeep. Sure. Yeah, I only want to drive if I can, yeah, drive a Jeep. That seems insane for you. You should be driving some tiny little electric car that doesn't hurt the world. Yeah. Does Jeep do like nice? No.

Probably not, right? But I love that extra wheel on the back.? No, that's not what Jeep is about. But I love that extra wheel on the back. You can put that on any car, Sten. That is so like... Is that all you want? Just this fair tonne? Yeah, what's she doing back there?

Looking good and feeling gorgeous. Anyway, um... She doesn't have to work. She just rides around the top. Yeah, she's tagging around on the back. Until her day comes. Yes. Uh, yeah, so I had some attempted banter with this security person. And that's right. It's around until her day comes. Yes.

Yeah. So I had some attempted banter with the security person who said, I don't know. You don't look like your line has expired. And I was like, Oh, well, thank you. That's when I said the Medicare card thing and he didn't find that very funny. And then, yeah, so I tried to renew it on the app. I, it was just like, absolutely not possible. Um, and he was like, well, you could go home and get your passport and then come back with that.

And I looked at him and I looked at the team member and I looked at him and I said, that is not going to happen. I say good day to you both. And, um, and the team member was like, you need to go back to bed. It's like, yeah. And so I did. That was a blessing in disguise. I sure you did win.

Yeah. I got home and I went back to, like, I got home and got into bed and it was still warm from when I left it, but I dunno, 40 minutes earlier. But what a waste of your money. Oh, it was such a waste. Cause I can't expense that. Like, I don't know, 40 minutes earlier. But what a waste of your money. Oh, it was such a waste. Cause I can't expense that. Like, I don't think I can. You absolutely can.

You went to work. Yeah. It is not your fault that, well, it is your fault. It is, but yeah, I don't know. Sorry. Yeah. You got to expense that if you don't. Maybe.

There's a reason you're poor. Right? Um, yeah, my God. At least the one to the airport. The one to the airport. Cause that was happening no matter what. Yes. But the one back that is seven minutes after.

No, so it's like, who, if you got fucked over by bureaucracy, then you may as well get fucked back into good standing by bureaucracy. Like, no one's going to check that. True. Who cares? And if they one's going to check that. True. Who cares? And if they check it, you threaten them. Ooh. I'll say you can't treat queer people like this.

Not in Pride Month. Yeah. Not in American Pride Month. Right. Do you know? Have you not seen Converse's Instagram with the little flag or whatever? Mm-hmm. Yeah.

OK. Should we get to the meet in the meat and the grist? The apocalypse? Yeah. Now I had in my phone, I know it's, I think it's your week. It is my week. Okay. No, but you had it in your phone.

No, well I had in my phone, just a cryptic, just a cryptic note that said a Sheridan Sky apocalypse. Okay. Now it's lazy us to interpret that. Yeah. Okay. Yes. Yeah. Okay, yes. Yeah. Sheridan Sky. Gabriela Labucci's dear friend and manager?

I guess they're both... Sheridan Sky is the kind of... She organizes a lot of what Gab Gabriella does as part of her career. Yeah, rural activation. Yeah, rural activations in the form of bingos. They both kind of run a bingo business. Gabriella is the face of the operation and then Sheridan Skies, the gears turning from within. Yeah. And- I'm sure she'd love that description.

Well, Sheridan Skies, theidan Sky, the Gears of War. That's like a Gears of War joke. Um... Now, I would say, what could I... How could Sheridan be behind the end of the world? I'd say Sheridan Sky... Mm. ...would only end the world

if there was some kind of existential threat to Gabriella Labucci and her career. So I think like in this hypothetical, like Sheridan finds out that Gabriella has been cast on an All Stars vs. The World or something like that. And then finds out that Gabriella has been cast on an All Stars vs. the World, or something like that. And then finds out that there's a new system wherein the girls get to decide who goes home at the end of every episode or whatever. And upon returning home, completely destroyed and destroyed after episode one, Sheridan

discovers that her Down Under sisters had thrown her under the bus and had her evicted in episode one, because they were so threatened by her. And so then Sheridan finally makes good on her last name and channels her power of sky. Of sky. Yes. Yes. And brings about something Sheridan conjured in many lifetimes, but this kind of hailstorm above the World of Wonder studios, that is kind of hail, brimstone, red lightning, blue lightning,

green lightning, all with different properties that produce different kinds of flame, different kind of destructive elements. And she's kind of, her eyes are glazed over, you know, purest white, glowing pure white. And her hair is kind of blowing out around her and, you know, bingo daubers are kind of levitating at the tables nearby. Kind of like Magneto with those little balls of, except they're bingo balls. And Sheridan's doing that. And then Gab realises that she's lost control and Gabriella runs to her side and says, stop, she's, you got to stop.

She's Willow season, whatever. Yeah. And then she goes, And then, and then Gab is like trying to get her like wrestling the power away from her and it just won't stop. And then she says like, they knew what they were playing with, the power of the sky. Yeah. And then the storm begins to grow. Yes. And like, obviously everyone inside of the world of wonder buildings are killed immediately. Oh, of course.

But, and like, you know, the new season of, uh, like Karch is like, what's that? And then it spreads and kills all of West Hollywood. And Willem's like, what the, oh, oh. Not Sheridan's guy. And then it spreads over the entire West Coast. And then it spreads over all of North America, South America. And then eventually the entire world is ensconced in a kind of never-ending sky war, is what they call it in the text.

Yes. And yeah, pretty soon there's just kind of, everything has been kind of destroyed, except there's just this small ball of energy where it's just the Sheridan sky, demigod and Gabriella clasping her waist. Yeah, the eye of the Sheridan sky. Yeah, and they're kind of frozen in that position for all of time, preserved in a kind of time rip that allows the sky war to continue to rage. And that's how you find out that the other planets in the solar system, you know, like

Venus or whatever the fuck where they have, you they have the storms that never end, are actually the result of a drag wag who's just blown up a society based on the results of a drag competition. Yes. Yeah. That's actually how the dinosaurs died. Yeah. Triceratops was trying to get in to season three of Dinosaur. Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

Sheridan Sky. Sheridan Skypocalypse. Well, we'll be right back. Bye-bye. Hello, listening. Hello. Hello, we're back. Okay, so first topic for discussion today is a listener suggested topic.

Ah. So thank you, an Instagram listener sent this through moments before recording, and that is which of the 10 commandments gets into the bunker? I love this. Now, time to refresh your commandments. Christians or whatever. Onward Christian soldier, dancing off to war. Commandment number one, also ish. I'm not interested in like finding the actual ones. This one that I found on Google will do.

Number one, you shall have no other gods before me. Okay. Number two, you shall not make idols. False idols. Yeah. See Matt, this is what I'm talking about. Is that what it is or is it just idols? Well, I don't know. According to this one infograph that I found, it's that. Are you looking at the purple one? Yes. Me too. Okay, good. Oh, then don't know. According to this one infograph that I found, it's that. Are you looking at the purple one? Yes.

Me too. Okay, good. Oh, then you say three. You shall not take the name of the Lord, your God, in vain. Number four, remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy. Honor your father and your mother. You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not murder. You shall not commit adultery. You shall not steal. You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. You shall not covet. I need a bit of explanation on that one. Bear false witness. What does that mean? Like make up lies about your neighbor. Yeah.

I'm reading another one here. You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor. Oh. Okay. So, I actually don't know a lot about the Bible as discussed previously in the show. I've never read it. I have watched a few like Veggie Tales in my time. And I've been to a few different churches.

So I guess it's also debatable which day is the Sabbath. Is it Saturday? Is it Sunday? Is it Friday? Who cares? We're just enjoying some bed buggy chai by the way. Oh, bed buggy, thank you for the chai. Bed buggy please. Bed buggy chai. Thou shall have no other gods before me. Thou shall not make up unto thee any. Oh, but also can I say like in terms of like which one gets in, it's which one gets in. And then everyone makes fun of the most.

No, because they assume in this case, every time they refer to God, they're referring to us or damn fucking straight. So I think that we do hand these commandments, this commandment down and they have to maintain it. So like most modern day people who follow a religion, we're just gonna cherry pick what works for us. Ha ha ha, Zelda. You really tell them how it is. You tell them how it is.

Yeah. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Honor your father and mother. Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. Honor your father and mother. Thou shalt not murder. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Thou shalt not steal.

Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor and thou shalt not covet your neighbor. Covet your neighbor, does that mean fuck your neighbor? Yeah, don't think they're hot. You've already, okay, so which ones of these have you? So, is it, it doesn't mean just like be jealous of You've already, okay. So which ones of these has, are you? Is it, it's that doesn't mean,

doesn't mean just like be jealous of them. Yeah, whatever. What is covet? I thought covet was that Sarah Jessica Parker. They're hot and stop knowing that. Stop thinking about it. Yeah. Yearn to possess is to covet.

Put a little elastic band on your wrist and every time you think about them, it's give yourself a little shock. Don't use the elastic band on your wrist and every time you think about them, just give yourself a little shock. Don't use the elastic band as a cock ring. That would be coveting them. Coveting means to strongly desire something that belongs to someone else to the point of wanting to take it and wishing the other person would lose it. Okay.

Wait, I do that all the time. Okay, so tell them- Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's wife. That's one of them. I think... That's not one of them. I'm looking at them now. Well, at least I'm looking at it. Oh, you should not commit adultery.

I don't think that was one of the original ten, but I was going to say I put to you both Zelda and Matt. I'm going to go through these and you just tell me, have you broken it? And then tell me why you think you've broken it. Okay, thou shall have no other gods before me. Zelda, have you broken it? And then tell me why you think you've broken it. Oh. Okay. Thou shalt have no other gods before me. Zelda, have you broken it? Well, I suppose…

Have you? I mean, I feel like by thinking that there is no God, puts that as a God above this God. You think the absence of God is holier than God? Yeah. So, yes. I was going to say you have, but her name was Jennifer Lopez. Well, true. What about you, Matt? Yeah. Yeah? Which God? Um... Pazuzu? No, I don't think of any other gods. I just think there is no gods. Okay, well, I don't think either of you really passed the test. I think you're still good by God's side because you haven't put any other God in that place.

Okay. Okay. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven images. False idols, I think is that. I think that we have turned ourselves into false idols. Yeah. So guilty. I guess we are though, yeah.

Yeah. Okay, so we do fall apart there, but Matt, maybe you can still get... Oh no, you're my passengers, so you're in the space car. You have enabled. You've enabled this behavior. So you are my, essentially my bosses. Yeah, and you do pray at our altar. Yes.

Well, I pray that you'll give me another shift, yeah. Oh, good. Yeah, that's good. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain. I do say Jesus fucking Christ. Yeah. Do you think if we put that one in the bunker, people would then, like, it would make saying like, Lazy.

Yeah. You're looking quite lazy today. Jesus. Zelda. Lazy-ass Susan, Zelda-ass Moon. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. I do not even know which day is meant to be the Sabbath. Zelda. Laziest Susan, Zelda-est Moon. Remember the Sabbath day and keep it holy. I do not even know which day is meant to be the Sabbath.

Is it Sunday? I think yes. We're recording this on a Sunday, so we have not kept it holy. No. But that's so weirdly baked in to society. Yeah. Anyway. Well, we have started doing Amish nights.

We did our first one the other day, which was we turn off the internet router and then put our phones in the office. Yeah, Kurtz told me about that. That's so cute. It is cute. We're going to try it again tonight. What did you do? That's offensive. We read, we played video games. No. What was the other one? Tabletop games. Yeah. We chatted, made dinner. Yeah. Yeah. That's good.

Yeah. Made dinner. It was good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good. That's good.. I don't think I have. That shall not commit adultery. I've never been married so I couldn't commit adultery. True. That shall not steal. I absolutely don't.

That's all that gum as a child. Yeah. Matt, do you steal? Steal. I still got it. Oh. You know, the other day I realized I'd spoken in the press about stealing my Louis Vuitton bag from Savers

at the start of my career. And someone in the comments was like, not stealing from a charity shop. Okay, bitch, clarify. Savers is not a charity shop. They give a percentage of their ill-gotten free fucking stock to Blindness America or something. But the rest of it is pure profit on fucking goods

that they pay only stocking on. They don't have, it's free. Yeah, they get donations. Free. And then they turn it around. Free for them, free for you. Yeah. And then they turn it around. Free for them, free for you. Yeah. And they jack up the prices on these things.

Yeah. Savers is like that. Other op shops. Yeah. I would never steal from a real fucking op shop, but I would absolutely steal from fucking the woolworths of fucking op shops any day of the fucking week. They've priced out a lot of people that use op shops and that included me at the time. I couldn't afford that fake Louis Vuitton bag. So I deserved it.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, that shall not bear false witness against your neighbor. I don't lie. I don't think you would never lie about your neighbor. Um, not about Vanessa, but not those other Croons. Maybe. Did I tell you? So Oh God. Okay. So what did Vanessa say about me? Nothing. Sadly.

Or maybe she did know I was wearing headphones. Um, no, but one of my other neighbors, like actual adjacent, like the small family neighbor, their fence on the other side to their other neighbor was falling over, so they had a new fence built. And then I was in the garden the other day and the wife from next door came over and was like, hello, and said hello. And I was like, oh, the fence, that's so good.

Did you know that this fence is also falling down? And she was like, yeah, but it's not the other one. Pull it. It's like, well, I was like, so you're saying if it got worse, then you would fix the fence. Bitch. Pull it. How dare she? Right. She was like, how do you decide whose fence it is?

It's actually your fence as well, right? Well, the owner's fence, not my fence. Cause it's like, it divides the property. I'm pretty sure when you get a new fence built, you pay 50-50. You have to agree on the look and, you know. Oh God, I would hate that. Right? But what put me off is that they didn't build a picket, like not a picket fence, but like a wood panel fence.

They put up like a corrugated iron. It's cheaper. Yeah. Last longer. Last longer. Last longer. The last longer factor is I think the clincher. And it's like some, you know, like misc slate gray color and it's not-

I can't stand it. It's like, I don't want to look at that. I'd rather look at this falling down fence. Yeah. That, excuse me, Kate, from next door, it's falling down. It's not falling down on your side, so you don't care. But I've now got three panels.

Okay. You need to pull that fence down. Right. And then just like, do you know what I've discovered? Like this is the, like, it's, I learnt it from Nikita and I must have talked about it at the time. But the, the psychology of walking into a space where like there's not enough space for you or whatever the fuck, right? Like, for example, you arrive a vibe at a bar and there's like no tables. And there's like maybe one area where there's one person sitting on a five seater table, right? And you're like, well, we have five of us or four of us or

whatever the fuck we should probably like, anyway, in your mind, you're like, well, there's nowhere for us to sit and we should probably leave. But if you remember that other people are just as timid and insane as you are, what you do need to do is just be like, can we sit here with you on this table? And then you like smoke them out. You out awkward the awkward, you know, like you instead of being like shy, can have everything you want if you just assert yourself.

And like not even in like a, can we like, can you move? Like you just sit there and like not even in like a can we like can you move like you just sit there and Within five minutes, they'll be gone You just like over bear them but in a very like pass that way and you need to do that with the fence It's an option. Yeah, it is an option If I I don't know what will tip me over the edge to be honest Well, no the fence tips down and you say, oh, don't worry about it. I think we should just share a yard.

And then just like wander into their yard one day and be like, oh, sorry, I forgot where the border was. I often go to like, cause I dry my clothes in like the wig room. But often like when I get up for work, it's like 6 a.m. and I have a shower and then I realized that all my underwear is in the wig room. So I go out there naked, but, it's like 6 a.m. And I have a shower and then I realized that all my underwear is in the wig room So I go out there naked but I'm like at 6 a.m

So it's fine and you also can't really see but if you were standing in the right spot you could see But if there was no fence you would definitely see that six also they have a dog So like they need defense to be fixed. We'll kill their dog. No, you know, like open the fence up and be like, oh, your dog ran away and hide the dog's corpse in the wig room. I mean, you could, you could keep it alive if you wanted to and return it once the fence was back on

and be like, oh, look, Snowy came back kind of thing. They'll shall not cover their neighbor's dog. I don't want to have sex with the dog. That doesn't mean that. That's not with the dog. That doesn't mean that's not what it means. It doesn't mean that. That's what you said. I actually do covet my neighbors. Like they, they're, they have the exact mirror house of ours because we're two

Victorian terraces, but they've got this great conversion that's like combined a kitchen living space and it like is really nice. And I covet that. Do you remember when we went, when I was in Carlton and we went to the apartment that was upstairs and it was weirdly almost the same but kind of not really? Yeah. That is so weird. People living in almost the same.

Almost the same. Ugh. That's my life. Back off. I'm like I hate what you've done with the place. You should see how it's, you know, actually done downstairs. Have a look at my house. So anyway, okay, so which commandment?

So I think like- Maybe it should be do not covet because we seem to be circulating around that quite a bit. Don't get jealous when your neighbor has a flake shake. Yeah. It's not your day for the flake shake. Yes. It's not your day for the flake shake. Yes. It's not your turn for the witch's hat.

No, don't get jealous of my boogie. That shall not bear false witness. I don't want rats. I don't want rats in the bunker. Yeah. People ratting on each other. Yeah, no. Stealing, I don't really care.

No. Murder seems pretty bunker coded. We can't deprive them of that. I think murder just has. No. Um... Murder seems pretty bunker-coated. We can't deprive them of that. I think murder just has to stay. Adultery, yeah. You shall have no other gods before me. I think that that's got to be it. That feels pretty important.

I kind of think that, like, without... I mean, like, I think false idols is fine, but you can't have a false idol in front of me. Yeah. Like, I think we are the only supreme gods. Yes. Yes. Sometimes, benign girls as well, I guess, just floating around. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Okay. Lock it in. Yeah. Well, then now it is... We have one commandment. One commandment, and it's the first commandment. Yeah. And it is, thou shall have no other gods before us. Us.

We changed it a little. Yeah. Sorry, pope a little. Yeah. Sorry, Pope, whatever. The Pope. Yeah. Sorry, the Pope. Sorry, the Pope. You know he's American. He is from Chicago.

American. What do you think about that? Uh, I don't think about that, to be honest. That was going to be my answer to this. I just am like, I think the, the, the papal sea. Yeah. Although I did love that Pope movie. What about the Pope smoke?

Yeah. I love the Pope smoke. I love that Pope smoke too. That's in the movie too. Is it really? Conclave. You got to watch Conclave. It's actually really good.

No, it's really good. It is. And I wouldn't have said that. But they have a whole bit about the Pope smoke. One color to the next color. Yeah, but they use like a synthetic smoke from a can. Not in the old days. No, but nowadays. Yeah. It's very cool. That doesn't feel traditional. I know it's fabulous. You see one of the popes, like, you know, one of the cardinals vaping and it's very fun. Pope smoke, literally.

And it's very fun. Pope's smoke literally. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Jesus juice. Jesus juice. Yeah, that's the flavor. Try me one of those ginger nuts. Yeah. Okay.

That's the flavor. Ben buggy. Ben buggy chai in your throat. Oh, I threw that relatively okay. I think that I recovered. I think. Yeah. Okay.

That's true. Okay. Listen, we'll be right back. Thou shalt not have any other gods before us. Us. Welcome back. Okay. Now here's a little setup. I hate the concept.

When people say, I don't believe in hate. It's too strong a word. Oh, I don't like that. I do just say it. Yeah. Lose up. Yeah. According to word. Oh, I don't like that. I do just say it. Yeah, yeah. According to anybody. Oh, yeah, you do, Barbara. Yeah. You just call it something else.

Yeah. Mm hmm. I don't drink coffee. I drink this brown liquid that's filled with caffeine. Yeah. Shut up. But I hate when you're like at a meeting or watching a YouTube video or doing something and the setup is, and we don't do this here, as I'm sure you know and appreciate, Lidzner, and this is context as to why, but I hate. Before we get into this today, we're just going to do some housekeeping.

Housekeeping? What have I done? We're going to take some housekeeping housekeeping. What do I, what have I done? We're going to take out the trash. It's like, I didn't even know that this meeting existed 40 minutes ago. And now this housekeeping and the housekeeping relax. It's like the bathrooms are down to the left and there'll be a break in 15 and da da da da da, but housekeeping calling it housekeeping is so stressful because like housekeeping

already exists. It's its own thing. It's every anxiety about existing as an adult, paying your bills and doing the washing and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, maintaining, you know, your fucking live. Don't throw it into, you know, like housekeeping on this YouTube video about how the switch two release came out. Like no, I don't need housekeeping. This is my relax time.

So which housekeeping in that context gets into the bunker? Oh, did you know what I'm talking about? What are you meaning? What do you mean? You mean like, before we kick off today, Barbara, I know you don't hate anything. Just a bit of housekeeping. IT is going to be resetting the passwords

and all the modems. Yes. So we're not going to have internet on Thursday morning. Housekeeping! And make sure you log into the portal to get your new password and update that. Yes! I hate that. Thank you!

I just think, you know what? Thank you! I think if you, I can't be alone in this, having left my corporate job at Ogilvy Australia, Melbourne. Oh, yeah. But I just think like meetings as they exist in the popular culture, in our contemporary lives, you could erase almost all of them. And I think the world would be a better place and these companies would operate more efficiently. I don't think meetings fucking work.

Meetings? Mama. I got invited. First off, I'm not your mama. My name's Bianca. I got invited to four meetings this week, all of them the same, but for different States, none of them Victoria. So what's going on there? I just think like, what's happening. Do they mean to invite you then? I don't think, but who's admin era is that?

I think the thing about meetings are what happens in a meeting. You should just zoom in and be like, um, I was invited. So yeah, every States meeting was invited, so. Yeah. What did you want to talk to me about? Every state's meeting, except for Victoria's. Yeah. What did you want me to talk to you about? Yeah.

The meeting is an invitation to all learn about something at the exact same time with the potential to ask questions to kind of expand upon it. I don't think meetings are really generative. They're not like brainstorm sessions or something. Generally, it's information that already exists, that they're like, let's just get everyone on the same page, which I would argue could be achieved just through an email. Yeah, breathe through the pack. Perhaps that could be a phrase.

And if there weren't going to be so many hand-holding meeting sessions, then we would perhaps put more importance into the email, which, you know, listen, I'm not reading the email, which I'm not reading an email. I'm also not reading an email. I think most emails could probably go, I think we actually just should get rid of all of it, you know? No meetings, no emails. That's how you run big business.

I wonder like, okay, what would that look like? Yeah. You know, maybe everyone just has a project and they just work on that. Yeah. Like call me when you're done. And when it's done, you just get it going. Delegation finalized. Yeah.

No open plan. No open plan offices. Oh, Matt, can I tell you, I just hate open plan offices. I think it is the biggest scam in modern corporate history that in the nineties, like they just transitioned everyone into open plan offices. My mother, God rest her soul, was like, open plan offices. She was a senior lecturer at Melbourne University. Senior lecturer at Melbourne University, this woman had worked in the industry for decades with people in her faculty who are all these incredibly, incredibly well-respected in the field academics, top, top tier. And Melbourne University, which is like, if you work in a field that isn't like science

or medicine or mathematics or anything that kind of makes them a lot of money, just through research and like, you know, private funding, like specifically she worked in the world of drama and drama education. So like the kind of least important thing that could ever exist to them because there's no kind of major donors coming from that category back to the school to give, whatever. And they took their offices away and put them in this like building down the street. And these women predominantly, who were like, just like you couldn't find people that were

like bigger in this field, like internationally recognized in the world of drama education. And they were like at a desk in this like cavernous open plan space, shoved in with a bunch of other departments. Like these, and they, they had their whole careers of having their own offices where they could have meetings, like review people's PhDs because they were also doing that, where you actively do need quiet spaces where you can close the door. And they just didn't give a shit.

It doesn't matter who, every single person got fucked over by the same thing, except for the CEO or the head of, you know, to which you ask, like, why do you, why do you think it's important that a CEO has their own office? Well, obviously they're going to be doing important work and they need to take some meetings in there. Well, certainly that applies to everyone else. Every fucking other person. It's crazy. Yeah. It's crazy.

Yeah. What do you think? I think even more evil is open plan offices where like you don't have a space in the open plan. Every day when you come in, you check into like, oh, what's available. That's so insane. I hate that. And when the office culture is degraded so much, like degraded, it's like, like so far away.

Like it was always a nightmare. But like, oh, we used to do cakes for people's birthday, but it was taking up too much time. Now we just do one cake once a month for everyone's birthday. Yeah. You're like, well, at that point, don't fucking bother. It's not about the person getting celebrated on their special day. Like why not just do it once a year and have a giant cake and say happy birthday everyone

and then roll that into Christmas. Well actually we'll roll it into the festive season. We'll roll all festive events in together and we'll do one party. Or actually maybe we'll do it every second. You know, it's just like once you start chipping away at this shit, it's like the whole point of those things was to make it feel a little bit more personal. You found a way to make it a little less personal. But yeah,

it's so insane when they're like, now your desk, you can't have like a thing on it that represents like a little creature comfort, like a... Yeah, like a little... Plant or a photo of a family member or whatever. Yes. Yeah. Nightmare. I wonder why they like, people don't want to go back into the office. Well, yeah. Like, the hell's going to get poorly lit. It's actually more efficient at home.

Yes. Where you can actually like contend with things in your life. And you're like, yeah, but you're going to miss the in-person meeting. Oh God, no. When I worked in an office, I used to just like deliberately just like try and derail these person meetings. You were the one asking the contrary questions to just keep it going. Yeah.

No, no, no, no. Just to like, because everyone was just so serious in them all the time. Yeah. And I just feel like, you know, trying to like come up with some sort of little thing to just throw everyone off for a minute. Oh, Matt. You're crazy, girl. What did you say? You said like, under what circumstances within CESPE, okay.

So I'm just crazy. Like that. Exactly. Who said that? Who said that? Who said shut up? Yeah, I just, I really do. Because I'm so bored in them. Yeah, I just...

To entertain myself. Yeah. I don't think they work. And I do hate the kind of like, the scripts that develop for these like middle management types who are like, hi everyone, how are you? Have an amazing morning. How was your weekend? Okay, that's great.

Let's dive into it. And like the, the, the, yeah, you can't dive into it till you've done the housekeeping. Can we just do some housekeeping up top? So give us some examples of housekeeping Zelda. Location of bathrooms, break times. I feel like the meetings itinerary can sit under an itinerary subcategory. It doesn't need to be part of the housekeeping. Um, any tying up of loose ends or like tying up of, yeah, like, um, admin tasks, like has everybody submitted their X or like, has everybody done, you know, this.

For online training. Yes. Yes. Yes. All of that. Yeah. Like tying up all those things, part of the housekeeping, um, a YouTube video might have housekeeping of like, uh, an update on like the YouTuber's life or something, like some housekeeping.

I'm in the middle of transitioning into my new apartment. So this place is the myth. I'm not interested. You could tell that to me in a funny story, not in housekeeping. Like- Do they say stuff like where to subscribe and comment and stuff?

Yes. Like and comment. But again, if you don't, you know, like lead in by like housekeeping, then like, yeah, live your life. Like tell me all that information, but don't put it under the umbrella, because that makes it my chore instead of my choice.

Oh, that's good. My chore, my choice. Yeah. And it also sounds like housekeeping is something that stresses you out just generally. No, well, that's the ironic thing. I fucking love housekeeping. I really enjoy like doing a quick little back end.

Not when it's forced on you. No, don't tell me what to do. Oh. What's your favorite thing to do around the house? Keeping. Like around my house? Yeah. I mean, like, well, I don't really think of the garden as like housekeeping

because that's a hobby. That's not in the house. Yeah. Um, like my favorite house chore. Did I stutter? Okay. Well, it's just such a strange question. Um, like my favorite house chore. Did I stutter? Okay. Well, it's just such a strange question. Um, I hate dusting. I didn't ask you what you hated. Oh, well I'm just working through the options.

Are we going to start top to bottom or bottom to top? Oh my God. Um, I don't know. What's your favorite? Well, circle back to this. My favorite, maybe vacuuming. You know what? Since getting my cordless favorite, maybe vacuuming. You know what? Since getting my cordless Dyson vacuuming. Well, now I understand why you couldn't afford to go to fucking Adelaide.

Oh my God. Spent a grand on a fucking stick vacuum. I bought that on Black Friday like two years ago. But anyway. Yeah, that's so good. What's your favorite? Have you done any housekeeping before? I do do a lot of housekeeping.

You do your laundry once a year, I remember, from previous pods. Yeah, that's not really housekeeping, that's laundry. That's part of housekeeping. No, because that's wardrobe keeping. It's in the house. No, well, your clothes are predominantly outside of the house, so they fall in more. That's like falls in like brushing your teeth and going for a run and that sort of stuff. Right. That's like falls in like brushing your teeth and going for a run and that sort of stuff.

Right. You know? Whereas like, yeah, there's a kind of like, you know, dishes. Yeah, dishes. I don't mind a dish. I hate learning a dishwasher. Just let me hand wash. No, we do it all by hand.

Yes. Yeah, a dish is a good one. I like a dish. Yeah. If you've got someone to chat to, it's good. I just like to put my little headphones on and enjoy a pod. If it's just you alone with the dishes. That's not very fun. Do you know what I do like to do?

It's like a big fridge reset. Take everything out, clean everything, start again. And suddenly you're like, look at all my purchases. They look so like catalog ready. Yes. In the fridge. I love that. Oh, I love that. And I think my,

as a tidier, like my sensitivities are completely smell based. So like, like clutter mess, like doesn't disturb me. But like food scraps and like scents absolutely will like trigger like immediate cleaning. Yeah. So it's like if I wake up and there's like, yeah, a mess to be cleaned or whatever, then it's like, okay, that's, that's going to like actually like play on my nerves. You are smell sensitive. Yeah. I'm now thinking back of all the different things you've said in your house about different.

Yeah, like, yeah. Even today. Yeah, you thought there was an odor in the lounge. I couldn't smell anything. Well, I mean, I think me and my sister, it's really funny, a very, it's not really funny, but it's really funny in the context of our mother had no sense of smell. Matt found that funny. I just imagined her like having like really stinky items around the house. And she was just like, I don't smell anything. Oh my God.

No, she was so insecure about it. She'd be like, come and smell this. Does this room smell weird? But maybe as a result, me and my sister are like super smell soldiers because we're both super like... Smell soldiers. Smell soldiers. All we think about is scent.

Sorry. Yeah. We You are... Sorry. Yeah. Yeah. We got another... Sorry. We got another email because believe it or not, that fan fiction was one of many. Believe it or not, George isn't at home. Please leave a message at the beep.

I must be out or I pick up the phone. Where could I be? Believe it or not. But... Okay, we've got another... Could you have a coherent thought for a second? I didn't laugh. Just a bit of housekeeping. We have another mailbox here from Gargastan02.

Hello, celestial goddesses. I have something hilarious. So if you want to come in a fragrance, I've got the thing for you. And then there's a link, which I was looking at on the way here. It's a perfume. Please read the description. It's a perfume, please read the description. It's hilarious from Gargastano2. P.S. the astronaut who came back as a witch was hilarious.

I was laughing on the train. I would have looked like a mess. Well, I don't think she found it funny. Her name was Katy Perry. Oh my God. Okay, so the fragrance that they've linked, I am so curious about. It's called secretions magnifique.

Ha ha ha ha. The famous four S's, sweat, saliva, blood and sperm. Sweat, saliva, blood and sperm. A work of conceptual perfumery designed to speak to all the senses. And then there's like a long description, which I won't suffer you through. But how cool! Anyway, two mailboxes in one day.

So anyway, I think that no housekeeping in the bunker. That's my pitch. What about, um, turn, please you turn your phone off. Yeah, that's housekeeping. Don't tell me what to do with my phone. I like that. I can pay attention. Oh, that's, I mean, I turn it, I literally turn it off. I'm like, I'm, my phone's always on silent. Please put your phone on silent or put it away.

Yeah. When I went with, uh,, did I already tell this story? Who knows? Silk hooked me up with some tickets to the Avatar live show, like a month or whatever ago. You did talk about this. Yeah, okay. But I went with a friend and the people in front of us constantly tried to take photos

and videos with the flash on and every time they did it went off and they were like, put it down. But then two minutes later, the other one of the couple would try again. And then the flash would go off. They go, the fuck together, man. Can I say quickly on that as a little tangent, why is Apple trying to hide the flash on their fucking phones? Not a single goddamn fucking person that I've encountered in my time as a drag diva knows how to put a fucking flash on because they bury it in advanced settings. Yeah. Sorry, when I put the flash on at the top, it means I want the flash on, not auto,

if you deign to put the flash on if the light's... If I've hit the flash button, it probably fucking means I need the flash. It doesn't mean I want to hit the flash button, scroll up from the bottom and say, on or not automatic, just on. Yeah. What the fuck? Have it on or not automatic just on. Yeah. What the fuck have it on automatic regularly you psycho. Yeah. I kind of don't understand the auto for that anyway. I think flash is either on or off.

It should just be on or off. Yeah. Like a fucking instant camera. Yeah. And like if you want to do auto great. But like, do you know what I mean? It's like if I'm taking a night shot, maybe you just auto put it on and I have to turn it off.

Yeah. But like, and the other thing, when live photos turns back on, I'm like, I turned this off three months ago. I should never have to hit the switch again. Suddenly I'm taking live photos. I don't need 13 frames of me closing my eyes before I open them to smile for the fucking photo.

Sorry? Yeah. What is this them to smile for the fucking photo. Sorry? Yeah. What is this? You're creating useless fucking information. Yeah. And let me tell you, those live photos take up a lot of space. Yeah. Well, I also hate how like the photo format isn't JPEG. No. It's HIC.

Yes. HIC. Yeah. I don't want HIC. No. I don't need live dynamic settings for all my fucking iPhone photos. No, if I wanted a video, I'd take one. If I want a. I don't want hic. No. I don't need live dynamic settings for all my fucking iPhone photos. No, if I wanted a video, I'd take one.

If I want a photo, I'd take one. If I wanted to go back in and adjust the fucking white balance and thing on the fucking raw file, I'd carry around a fucking Canon with me every day. Right. Is this for just like happy snaps? Yeah. It's just so that they can jerk off and be like,

this film was shot on iPhone. Yeah. Congratulations. Why didn't you get a real camera. Yeah. It's just so that they can jerk off and be like, this film was shot on iPhone. Yeah. Congratulations. Why didn't you get a real camera? Yeah. Like, well, like 28 weeks later. Yeah. What?

Wait, what? That was shot on iPhone. It really was. What? Yeah. With lenses, but like on an iPhone. Like fish eye lens? Well, there was some.

And that jerky jerky. Well, if you were listening on our Patreon, where we talked about 28 weeks later, Oh, yeah. You can go and see. Yeah. You know how there's those like jerky jerky kill shot moments? Yes. The way that that was done, and this was like part of a lot of the press, was that they did like a, you know, in the original Matrix film, how they set up all those DSLRs around them for the bullet time effect

Yeah, and then just got the particular photo out at the same time in a circle. Mm-hmm So they did a half circle around the zombie getting shot with like, you know 24 Like yeah, yeah iPhones that all took photos at the moment or took video or whatever Wow, yeah to get that kind of Cool effect shame it wasn't on a real camera. Anyway, no housekeeping in the bunker. I agree. Good, next. Hello everyone and welcome back. This is the final category of this episode of Death to Everyone. What is going to go in our doomsday bunker? Well, I'd like to know, and I put

it to my room, what sex toy gets into the bunker? Have we done this before? No. No. We've done lots of sex things, but no toys. We've done lots of sex things. Um, okay. Ash to ash. We've done lots of sex. Um, OK. Ash to ash, double ended dildo. Double ended dildo. Only so we can recreate that scene from Requiem. Yeah.

Requiem. Rectum. Rectum. Rectum for a dream. Rectum for a dream. As to As. Do you reckon that was a film that they made at the time? I think there would be a... I was going to say a drag parody, a porn parody of ass to ass for sure. Let's say I'm Googling now.

Okay, you Google that while I talk about ass to ass. So a dildo that's big enough so that both people can be fucked by it and it's stable enough that it being in one person's ass means the other person can slide on and off, but then imagine them both doing it at the same time. Does someone need to hold it in the middle? I don't, well not in the film, but I feel like in the real world you probably would need a stabiliser of a helpful hand. Yeah. And then what if both were stationary and you were just like kind of jackhammering up between them? Yeah. Aful hand. Yeah. That could be a vibe. I don't know.

What do you think about buttplugs with a crystal? Oh, I don't like when you see nestles between two fairy cheeks, a little like diamond. Think gem. Yeah. It's a diamond. There's a diamond in there. I'm not into the gem. A diamond in the rough.

Yeah. I don't, I don't enjoy the gem. Personally. Yeah. I mean, a flared base. That's rough. Yeah. I don't, I don't enjoy the gem personally. Yeah. I mean, a flared base. That's important. Yes. Don't get lost in there.

You don't want to get lost in you. Yeah. But, um... But no, the di... I also just think like this. I mean, God, this does feel familiar. We must have done this, but at any rate, we're doing it again. And we haven't done it.

There's just, to me... It's never been talked about on any podcast. The aesthetics... Of the butt plug? The aesthetics of sex toys, by and large, have been left to people that I wouldn't trust to design a website, let alone something that goes inside of my body. Yes. So, like, there are a few brands, like Lilo and stuff stuff that have kind of taken on a schmick. Yeah

Kind of almost like Apple Silicon Valley kind of vibe where it's like Chic minimalist design be be horny for this shape. Yeah Gorgeous shape. Yeah flowing line and I don't think that's a hundred percent right either, but I think like the weirdness of those ones that are like Tony's Jackhammer Weekend 35 cult, you know, like, um, and in that way I'm like, I don't know. Wait, do you mean like sensationalized? Like, you know, like donkey or just like a dildo that looks like a dick. Yeah.

And then like the box art is like very... But see like vintagey kind of like box art. But it's not sexy, it's camp. Yeah. Like an old like porn VHS. Yeah. No, I think that is actually horny. I think that's good.

It's is it horny because it's like anti aesthetic. Yes. And it's also like less fake, I think. Well, depending on, like super depending anything that's too clean. Yeah. Like I'm not into, it's sex. Anything that's too clean. Like packaging wise. You don't like the Lilo thing. Oh god no. No. That's not for you. No. I don't want to be fucked by like a little orb.

I want to be fucked by a dick. A gorgeous orb. Yeah. But then I also don't like it too far. Like I don't want to be fucked by a dragon's dick. You know? Oh yes. Or like have that alien egg lay inside of you. What do you think about the clone willy? I was gonna say that might be where I land because you know, like there's a lot of space

between me and all the people that I'd like to have sex with. Some of them are on the other side of the planet. So they can send a little piece of themselves. Maybe. Yeah. But I've never like experienced a toy like that. And I don't know that it would, like, I feel like your brain is probably more powerful than that dildo.

So like, my brain is more powerful than this dildo. Like I think the fantasy and the imagination of what having sex with Well then in which case fuck the orb. Yeah man. Use your imagination. Like a Bauhaus child raised with those blocks. Like it's not just a triangle, it's the roof of a castle. It's not just... thing, it's Benson Boone's dick.

Who was it, the other one? This is who I'm thinking about, who did a cloner willy. Benson Boone did a cloner willy. No, but that wizard's a Waverly Place boy. Oh, that one that turned porn star. To a porn star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he did a cloner willy, and I saw his cloner willy. Cloner willy is so un-witty.

That's what it's called. Cloner cock. It's like a builder bear. Builder bear, yeah. Ew. That's what it's called. Cloner Cock. It's like a Build-A-Bear. Build-A-Bear. Ew. That's a concept. A Cloner Cock.

What hide the cloner? No, no, like, okay, so you're in, say, Amsterdam or at Sexpo. Yes, in Amsterdam? Or you know how like, okay, so you know in like, like at Star Wars Galaxies Edge or whatever, you have the lightsaber building thing and you can choose what kind of a crystal you want and all that stuff and which hilt and blah blah. Well, what if at one of those events,

you could like make a Willy, make a dildo and you could set it all up in like, you know, does it what kind of vibrator does it have in it? Yeah, what size is it? Maybe this like yeah special celebrity collabs and then Yeah, you walk out with your customized cock. Yeah, that would be such a fun activity to do with the gals That is good. Matt. That's a genius idea. You can have it yours build a bear build a cock clone a cock clone a cock. Clone a cock. Yeah, but you're not cloning that.

Create a cock. Create a cock. Create a cock. We just had a million dollar idea. Yeah. Take it on Shark Tank. Yeah, I've been playing a lot of Baldur's Gate 3 recently, and you indeed get to create your cock.

Kind of. There's a few subsets, but that's fun. What kind of cock did you make? Donkey. to create your cock. Kind of. There's a few subsets. But that's fun. What kind of cock did you write? Donkey. You just couldn't resist. I mean, they were all... You can't... You can zoom in on the character's face in the character creation,

but funnily enough, you can't zoom in on the cock. So like when you're toggling between the four different options, they all kind of look the same, except that one has some fuzz and one is shaved. But I couldn't actually tell which one was uncut and which one was cut. So I just took a stab. I went with genitals D. Genitals D? Yeah, as opposed to ABC. There's the...

So like in the world of Dildo, I think there is something fascinating about that thing. But to go back to the Wizards of Waverly Place thing, I think that his one, Dan Benson, that's his name, the paint job is so bad that when you've seen him ever hold it near his dick, they're just so worlds apart in just the baseline styling of them. It might be the same shape, but it's not the same color baseline styling of them. Yeah. You know, it might be the same shape, but it's not the same color.

I don't like that. Get the Pantone swatch book out. Right. What are we doing? Yes. Affair. What do you think about those like... Fuck machines?

Well, yeah, we'll get there. I think they look scary. What if they fuck too hard? Or, you know, like a cat steps on the switch and then it jackhammers you to oblivion. Yeah, we'll get there. Um, I think they look scary. What if they fuck too hard? Well, you know, like a cat steps on the switch and then it tracks you to oblivion. Yeah. Why is there no anal destination? Yes. Yes.

Where it's like they get killed by different fuck machine. Yeah. Um, we shouldn't have never gone to that orgy, but we survived and now the fuck machines are going to come and kill us. Yeah. God, God. Has no one made that? That's a $2 million idea.

Um, no, the little like silicone, like little butts or like little whatever. Uh, hole that you're like, but they're like mini butts. They're so mini. I can't get past that. It's so weird. So weird. You're like, I've got a little pussy of this tiny smurfette. Yes.

Why they're so small. Yeah. Yes, why are they so small? Yeah. Ew, I don't like it at all. Like I understand the practicality and the cost involved, but that's not horny. That's full-sized ass. Yes. Yeah. I hate that.

Well, I think there's probably like an insidious layer there that we don't really want to mine. Oh, yeah. My God. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I don't want to to mine. Oh. Yeah. My God. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. I don't want to mine that. I also think the flesh-slidiness of it all, I just think that that's like... I just, maybe instead of sex toys, just have sex.

That's it. I think like, I don't um, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. They, I just like have never been that interested in sex toys. Um, like at all the like little, like, um, not quite like not the full flesh line, but there's like a little silicon other thing. Like, I don't know. They're all just like they feel unnecessary

Jay I'll tell you the story many moons ago. I participated in art project you oh, yes, and the he was a musician and his work was like He had created this track his kind of a noise musician. And then you basically could Bluetooth connect this type of dildo that vibrated in time with the music or like connected to the music. And then so you put headphones in and fuck yourself with this dildo and then record yourself as you are fucking yourself with this like music and then he took the sound of us fucking ourselves to the music and made it like part of the song. Wow.

And then that was in like a gallery. Cool. So what about the blow up doll? Um, again, too small. Could I say though, when Chappell Rowan went on that show, I loved that latex outfit. Yes. I thought like the inflate here toggle underbelly button and the whole, like I just thought it was such a cool way of using latex in a more exciting way

than just like what I've been seeing. Yeah. But what the fuck was that wig? Yes. Has she ever seen an inflatable doll? It was a real wig that had just been like painted with some wood glue and put in some like awkward tussled position. And like it's molded.

It should be a latex wig. Yes. That was not quite right. It was like, I loved that she came with a concept and did something really fun. And that kind of like was a little bit ugly, but like in a cool way. Yes. But God, I just that wig was impossible to get past. I don't know if this fault, this is more maybe like more like fetish or kink, but

so a friend of the pod recently relocated and when he did, he like I'm gonna give you my pop mask because you feel like the right person for the job and so now I have this pop mask that is quite funny and what are you gonna use it for? Well I don't know so I haven't used it yet during sex but I did take a photo wearing it which I've uh cursed a few listeners with, which I... No. When I got it, I was like, this is so funny, and I sent it to a few friends. So if you receive that photo, haha. I'm sorry.

Yeah. But I don't know if I can bring myself to get fucked wearing a pop mask. I don't know if I can do that. You know what? Give yourself a try. Yeah, a little trial period period just find a pop. Oh And go like this What's your pop name gonna be but what really

What really? Is that like the pop musk has these like built-in like What really perturbed me is that like the pop mask has these like built in like Eyebrows. Yeah, and you can't like change the emotion of the eyebrow. You just perpetually Which annoyed me Do you think he's been fucked in that pop mask? I don't think he has but maybe he's a liar Yeah Well, so funny after show it's like I don't want to, I never thought I would own this object and now it's in my house. And to go straight from no sex toys to that.

Right? It's that and like one dildo. So which sex toy? Matt? Did you see the photo I sent you? Oh, Matthew. Matt! This? Oh, Matthew, Matt, this. It's the most disturbing image that you've ever sent me. Matt, I don't know that you're allowed to have this on your phone. Let alone in a big chair.

Yeah. I looked up, um, funny sex toys. And this is the top image was a duck with a dick. It's just a rubber duck. Yellow rubber duck with a rather large engorged dick. I mean, someone might like it. Someone, not us. Well, there you go.

That's my answer. You want rubber duck dick. Sure. I mean, it's for the bunker. It's not for you. Matt, you want to get fucked by a rubber duck? I'm not in a bunker. I'm not getting it.

You are in the bunker. You are in the bunker. I didn't say I wanted to get. Then why did you send this? I think, Matt, if you want to get fucked by a rubber duck. That's quite all right. Look, we'll put it in for you. Yeah.

Matt, if you want to get, if you want to tell us about this kink of yours, of being in the bathtub, you know, face first. I don't like sex toys. I'm not going to use them. Everything's so slippery in the bath. Like you try and take the duck out of the water, the bubbly water, and then you pull it and it's attached to something.

Oh, it must be stuck in the plug hole. Submerged beneath the water is Matt grinning. Yeah. And you know what? We support that. I support it as long as you don't put that duck before us when you pray at night. Yeah, if you try to make that duck into a false idol,

I'm going to be so mad. If you did want to use the sex toy, that would be, and that was the only option, that would be quite funny. I think that your demographic, Matt, and maybe this is speaking out of turn, but your demographic of men, vest wearers, vest wearing men, might be the least likely to purchase own or maintain a sex toy collection. That's right. That is exceptionally true.

I think that like you probably, if were you born 10 years later, you might have gotten onto the flashlight trend, which I think was like a lot of boys kind of, I feel like I'm much more into that now. Like the flashlight technology was just coming of age when those kind of boys were like jacking it or like who was saying recently that they thought it was like straight behavior with their friends and they all like one friend had gotten a flesh light and they all shared it. And they-

You see, my group was never really like that open about sharing. Like I used to hear like about boys in older years who would like go to like someone's house and watch porn altogether and jerk off together. Like they would jerk off together in the lounge room at night time. Or in the bedroom. But your friend group was like, no. Well, we never really did any of that. I think the, the closest we got was like people brought porno mags to school.

Yeah. And we'd like read them down in the bushes for the article. Yeah. For the article. Melissa wants to be a secretary. Good for her. I support women in the workplace. That's good, Matt.

Um, so you never joked off with a friend as a teenager? No. Weird. Did you? Yeah. Yeah, me too. I was just, yeah. And looking bad.

But I was gay. Yeah. Right? Gay! Looking at weird faggots. What the fuck were they thinking? Oh no, this was majority with other gay men. Oh no, mine were all straight.

But no, there was a certain straight constituent, you know, but that was earlier. That was like, you know, 12, 13. Yeah. Oh, maybe 13, 14. But yeah. Far out, man. Interesting. I mean, I'm not a bullshit. I put up with straight people.

It's just, Oh, you love it. I'm over it. I'm really sorry. Are you over the drama and conclamma? Yeah. What are you into now? Well, now I'm not into anything.

It seems because, oh, that's just so exhausting. I just can't. No, you can't. What are you into now? Well, now I'm not into anything, it seems. Because, oh, that's just so exhausting. I just can't. You can't? No. I'm so done with speaking of that. What do you think when someone brings a toy out in the workplace? I mean, in the sex room? Um, I think it's like, what's the sex room? No, like your bedroom. I think it's like hard work.

So like, I can't remember if I told this story, but like I have this guy that I hook up with. I have this guy that I hook up with. And I went to his, I did tell this story. And he had this like huge dildo and I took my dildo and it was black and he's black. No. I didn't tell that story.

I've never heard this story. Oh, really? Now that I've said that abridged version, sounds really bad. I did know this story. Oh really? Now that I've said that a bridged version, sounds really bad. I did. Tell me. Oh God. Anyway, he pulled like part of like this hookup

was that he was gifted this like joke, like 10 inch dildo. And he's like, come over, I wanna like use it on you. I was like, yeah, whatever. Um, and then afterwards he's like, you keep it. I'm what am I going to do with this? Um, and this it's like the sword in the stone. Yeah.

And so now I have it and every time he comes over, he's like, should we use the, like, I'm like, it's kind of exhausting getting fucked by this 10 inch dildo. It does not feel as good as a 10 inch dick. Finally enough, I was like, yeah, I was like, you haveily enough. There's a lot more gear than a 10 inch dick. Yeah, I was like, you have a dick. Why don't we use that instead of the fake dick? Yeah. Because you're here with a dick.

You know? Does he have a 10 inch dick? No. Is he there with a dick? That's the issue. No, well, I don't, who cares? Like, his dick is great. Like, it doesn't need to be 10 inches.

And any dick is better than a fake 10 inch dick. Yeah right. And if that technology ever advances to where it is as good. Well then he'll use the good dick, which will be the fake one. Yeah. And do you think that that will be the point where the entire like gay world dies? No, because people still want to be filled with cum. No, but I'm saying in this world it's to be filled with cum. No, but I'm saying in this world, it's just like, filled with cum.

No, synthetic cum will never trump fake cum. We already have set of fill, you know? Yeah. I think there's definitely a thing of like, yeah, he wants to see you getting exhausted by a 10-inch dick. Well, that's very much the vibe. Which I do think is hot, but like. I would die, I actually would die.

My asshole would not survive. That would be the end of me. Weak. Yeah, yes. Specifically vulnerable. Oh. Oh. Brave, important, and vulnerable.

Let me tell my story. The story of your hole. My hole. Yeah. Matt, could you take a 10 inch dildo? I don't know if it had a duck on the other end of it. Just for the record, I didn't want to participate with this toy. We can post a picture of this toy, obviously, with a giant throbbing rubber duck.

I just thought it would be funny. Yeah, no, no. If you went to the sex toy cupboard. Your beautiful wife listens and your birthday's coming up, so I think she's gotten the message. Dear Space Car Driver Matt's wife, get him this gorgeous rubber duck with a giant danger. And then next time we see you, give us a little winky to know that it's found its home. It's inside of him. And forever in the bunker. Cause I think that's the one we're putting in.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to. I don't want it. Okay, Matt. Yeah. Winky, winky. That's the only option. Yeah. I don't need it. I don't. Yeah, winky winky. That's the only option. Yeah, that's right Yeah, but I don't need it. I don't I get it Yeah, just for anyone named that Anyone in the bunker? Who stole Matt's I mean anyone who wants it? Where's my I mean our yeah, that's you. Okay. Okay, and you got a rent up from the library. Yeah, it lives in the library.

Okay, so this week... Fart-O-Dem. Oh, that's good. Okay, so following the Sheridan Sky apocalypse this week... Sheridan Sky. Skywatch. Yeah, we've committed to the bunker. Matt's favorite sex toy, the rubber ducky dick. Yeah.

There's rubber duck with a dick. Rubber duck with a dick. Then we've got no housekeeping. Zelda got that off her chest. Yeah. So what happens when people come in and they say, just a few housekeeping things. They get killed. There's no housekeeping.

They burst into flames. No, there's a machine gun that's mounted on the ceiling. No, no guns. A machine gun? No, well maybe. Can it be a laser that's attached to the Meg's head, like in Austin Powers? No.

OK. I just think the violence of a machine gun is so intense, and the sound of it. Yeah. You don't really get that anywhere else. Jesus. And their body kind of writhing back and forth after they finish the word housekeeping. And then it's just never used for anything else.

You know in a movie where someone's getting shot. Yeah, I know. And they just stand there for a while and all of the like special. Yeah. Little squibs are going off. There's kind of smoke in the air and then they fall to the ground. It can't. You raise a good point. I'm not saying I support guns.

Just if someone says a bit of housekeeping. Yeah. Oh, good. And if someone's knocking the door going housekeeping, oh, then they don't get killed. No, that's it. Yeah. Yeah. And if someone's knocking the door going, housekeeping. Oh mama. Then they don't get killed. No, that's their job. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's what actual housekeeping is. Yeah. Anyway. And what was the first topic? Oh, the commandments. Yeah. It's us.

Yeah. You should not have a guard before us. Yeah. And that's it. Okay. Okay. What a great week here on the pod and we will see you all in hell, I'm sure. Yes. And just a few members of housekeeping before we finish.

Khhhhh. Khhhhh. Khhhhh. Dead to Everyone was recorded in front of a live studio audience by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was performed tonight by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you'd like to say something to us, go and kill your and won't you support us please at patreon.com such that do everyone

ta ta for now Thanks for watching!