Death To Everyone - Death To... Wicked, Nomadic Berwick & Hair feat. Brenda Bressed

Episode Date: December 3, 2024

It's time for the Bressed! Welcome Brenda Bressed to our corner of the universe. May she judge the things in Oz, the things on the menu for Nomadic Berwick and all varieties of hair well and fairly. With love, Yours Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103/⁠

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I'm so sorry. To everyone, a show about two celestial goddesses. Oh, sorry, what's that? Oh my God. Our guest is smoking. Oh, sorry. Suss over there. Baby T-Rex with a broken leg. Stop bringing it to the studio. How do you know that baby T-Rex has a broken leg? What did you do?

Because I've seen the movie, dear. Movie? Documentary. Documentary. I am Lazy Susan. Hi, and I am Zelda Moon. And I can tell you're in a silly mood today, you silly billy. Oh, you know. You're acting silly already.

I'm really sweaty. Yes. It's hot. Yeah. And what do we do here? Well, this is Death to Everyone, where we kill everyone. Oh, god. And today we also have our incredible space car driver, Matt Cheers.

Hello there, everyone. Matt, every week you sound so surprised that we're going to introduce you. Yeah. You're like, oh, no, I'm back. I know. I'm still Mike Shy after all these years. Mac Shy. Who's Mac? You're making me shy.

Zelda, you're silly. You're actually silly. Got the silly beans. And this is our weekly podcast where we talk about a range of fabulous topics and we preserve the best of the best into our doomsday bunker from those topics. It's like the Sea Vault. Who's better to judge everything than us? Naimum. Alexis Bledel, and that's the end of the list.

You know, Rory Gilmore, she's such a judgy little one. Anyway, today, to aid in our judging, we have brought along a guest from Drag Race to London. Yes. Season four. We have Brenda Brass. Hello. Hi.

Sister. Are you clapping now? Gosh. Yeah, no, I asked him when I got here, I said, I'm used to a little applause when I'm an out, so if you could just... You really had to emphasize the little. Yes, thank you. I'm used to the sound of one man clapping.

I had to find a sample. I couldn't, I couldn't do it myself. I just used to a few loose claps, just here and there. Oh my God. She's right here. And she, Brenda, can I tell you? She's not normally like this. She's silly today. She is. She's silly. It must be the heat. It's the silly season for her. When the temperature gets too high, the elderly begin to die.

Where did you learn that beautiful poem? What is happening to me? It's a creepy rhyme, isn't it? It's great. When the temperature gets too high, the elderly begin to die. You know where I got that? That's what you know what that's from. What?

iCarly. Shut up. So which is getting a movie. Shut up. Yeah. Well, I won't. But. Please do. Stressful because Carly just found out that her mother's still alive.

I can't tell if you're being serious or not. Well, you know how they cut it, Peacock cut it. They did two seasons of the reboot, three seasons of the- Yes. They cut it and it just finished after Freddie and Carly got together for the first time ever. And then she turned around and she went, Mom. And then it turns out her mom's round and then the cliffhanger show canceled, but they're going to bring it back for something, maybe a special.

A feature. Oh my God, imagine. I could never get into the reboot for some- it just had an air of desperation. Well, where's Jeanette? And we know why Jeanette's not there. Yeah, we know. And it's- What happened to her? Well, she's glad her mum is dead. She is. She's so glad.

God. But that show really defined my childhood. There was a period where I watched it, like, it was a tradition with me and my brother, and we'd get home from school and we'd watch it with our mum. Rich. And with your mom. Yeah she loved it. Oh mom creepy mom. Was she watching children's programming? It's a great show. I mean yes but it's fabulous. I don't know what this show is. Have you watched it? I was like I was looking at you looking so confused. Have you never watched iCarly before Zelda? iPod.

Precisely. iMac. iMacs? That generation. iCarly. Can I tell you, when... I feel like maybe this was the same era, I can't really tell. But when I was at Chad,

I like, the first chat room that I frequented was this like, Evangelion chat room on I like frequented was this like Evangelion chat room on this like Evangelion fan site and my username on that chat, like this was pre-Cainasaurus era. So like early, like my first like little dip into the internet was my username was like Eva Kane, it's like Evangelion or like Eva Kane. And I remember that I was talking to this guy from Germany. And Eva is like a woman's name.

And he thought that I was a woman. Oh. And then when he found out he was. So you were I Eva. Yeah. I suppose that's like. You were Internet Eva. Yeah.

Yeah. It's kind of you to make that link for someone just dropping a bizarre story. I was... The pathways were connecting in my brain. I was like, I think that's it. I think she thinks... Bizarre story. Or maybe it's the bizarre story hour.

Lazy Susan, and where's your story? Yeah, what's your bizarre story today? What did you do on the internet at 12? I think we were, were like randomly chatting with guys on chat rooms who were asking us to put our feet together and make a foot vagina. Oh my God. Because I remember for a long time we talked and laughed

about how that guy wanted us to make a foot vagina. I actually don't think I was there at the inception of foot vagina, but I think I- Foot vagina. I definitely partook as time went on and foot vagina became like a, I guess before memes you had just like things that people would say. Oh my god. Wait, great for a podcast, but can you show me what foot vagina looks like? So a foot vagina is where you put, you have to have high arched.

Oh! Yeah, you've got nits. Oh, I've got very flat feet. I would not be able to do that. No, that's it. Yours is a tight little foot pussy. Mine's the Virgin Mary. Yeah. Like two flat, sheer rock faces crammed up against each other. Well, it wasn't sheer, was it? Jesus Christ.

Yeah, get her. No, I'm not about to open that can of worms. We are obviously now three days post you leaving the show. Oh, I don't want to be the one to bring it up. But well, the nation is still in the nation is morning. I'm wearing my black veil. Yeah, that was very nice of you, Zelda. Your armband, your solemn armband is very.

That's what that represents. I appreciate that. For those everyone who has stopped drinking and eating. Thank you. I appreciate it. I've seen your messages. But yes, I've my drag race down under journey has come to an end. I'm so mad. My blood is on fire.

Can I tell you, listener, it was shocking when you turned to me before you went home. Do you think you're like, I think I'm going to I think I'm going home. I still remember saying that to you in the hotel that morning. I was like, I don't think so. Like, what are you talking about? That's crazy. I just had this weird feeling. I just had this like kind of weird melancholy, but kind of at peace feeling.

That was I think it was it was like that point in, um, Kung Fu Panda when Master Uguay, the tortoise, he smells the wind and he goes, my time has come. That's what I felt like. It was very profound. Were you Master Uguay? I, in that equation, I am. Yeah.

Wow. I am the old tortoise. Who does that make vibe? Whoever the loudest is. Probably the panda. The panda. Wait, what does that make me? I think your mustachifu.

Which one's that? The little- the little tiny one with the- Do you know what? Yeah. What was that? Angelina was the snake? No. The tiger. But she didn't come back for the snake.

Lucy the Lou is the snake. But did they give you nice things when you left? Who's they? Like, did they like give you some food? Um, yeah, I got to have some nice- I got to have my own choice of Uber Eats that night, and then I packed up all my shit for a couple of hours while holding back all my tears. Did you cry a lot? I actually didn't cry at all when I left.

The first time I cried was when I got my- given my phone back and I saw messages from my husband that he'd been sending me while I was away. And as soon as I opened my phone, like, it was just like thinking of you today or like, I know you won't see this, but- and as soon as I opened my phone and saw those, I just started- I burst out into tears. That's really cute. Yeah. But no, I didn't cry about leaving at all. As I said, I was weirdly at peace about it.

The thing I love about long-term relationships, witnessing them from the outside and being like... I saw you and your husband interacting the other day, and then I saw you talking about your husband on television. And on television, you're like, I just didn't realize how much I needed this support, and I love this man so much. And then I see you interacting like, I just didn't realize how much I needed this support, and I love this man so much. And then I see you interacting like, I'm not taking a fucking cram.

I'm... Excuse you. I didn't even end up having to drop him because he re-read the email again and... They were paying for the Uber. Yeah. Well, you see what I mean? Cram. It's just a funny thing that you're like, that is a couple being together, but you're

like, God, it didn't it didn't sound like love your life. You really got a glimpse into my home life. I was so fabulous. I was it was actually a cry for help. That's why I invited you over. I was like, can you come and witness what I have to go through? And can you save me? I think you might be the monster there.

Brenda, this is an intervention. So think you might be the monster there. Brenda, this is an intervention. So what if I'm the monster? Anyway, Matt, is that how you talk to your significant other? Oh yeah, I'm just like, drop me off. Ground. Your Brenda impression's incredible. Brenda, say one more thing about you before we move on. What?

Ooh, one more thing about me. For those who, would you? Ooh. One more thing about me. For those who don't know you yet. For those who don't know me yet. Ooh. Um, well, I am a drag queen. Oh, yeah. For those who don't know. Gross.

Um, which is pretty disgusting. Um, it's not something that I would wish on anyone. No. Um, but... One thing I will say, I've got this. I'm not ready for, I don't know about you, but you being the listener or you two here. Summer drag is absolutely vile. Yes. And I'm at that weird point where I'm deciding whether, because during winter I've been wearing this like nude illusion thing

under all my costumes because I just don't like shaving my body because I have ever so sensitive skin. Yes. And you're a hairy lady. Oh, she is a hairy gal. And I'm at that point where I'm like, do I just shave everything for summer and wear very flowy things? Or do I make a slow transition into hairy drag? And I'm at a crossroads.

I think just embrace the hair. I want to. And it's funny, you should have said what you said before. My husband is very much opposed. What does he want? Well, see, he likes the hair, but he doesn't like it in drag. He thinks it looks weird. Who cares?

And I said, well, are you paying to come to my gigs? Yeah, also, you're North Side, baby. I know I'm North Sided now. Yeah, I've joined the circus. You're a queerdo. I definitely have joined the circus, though. There's some circus types on my street. Let me tell you.

So you've just moved. I know. I've been here for a month and it's in, in, uh, in the north side. And who's the circus types in his street? There was a, this lovely individual who was walking their dog the other day, who was holding like a Ui boom up to their ear, but sort of holding it like you would when you're trying to hold your phone hands free under your shoulder. Uh huh.

But it was a Yui boom playing quite loudly. What song? Oh, I couldn't, I couldn't pick it out. But- The Wizard and the- But they were saying hello to everyone they went past, and then also some imaginary people they went past as well. So, yeah.

Well, why cap your friend list? Also, not everyone can afford a UE Boom and headphones. Also, Jennifer Love Hewitt was a ghost whisperer for many years. Don't disregard the profession. No, you misheard me when I said circus type Simon. I would pay to see them in the circus. There you go. I admire their- Like silver circus.

Their showbiz, their talent. I think that like there's no longer circuses in the center of town, but once you leave like a 30 kilometer radius- I wonder why. Yeah. It's just circuses. They're like, it never died here. We love circuses.

I mean, there's no circuses, but there's a lot of clowns. Brenda, you're too bad. We love circuses. I mean, to. And how would you do that? Okay. I've thought about this for a while because I have listened to every episode of Death to Everyone. So incredible. I've had a little bit of time to think about this, but I was a baker as a child. I loved baking.

So I'm sort of commandeering this book. Like what? Sheppard's pie? Or like a salt yoyo pie? No, like sweets. Cause I- Is that Mrs. Lovett adopted you, didn't she? She did.

Put you to work in the pie shop. I turned all my friends into pies. Delicatessen? She would make a good Mrs. Lovett in the production. She'd make a great pie. But no, like baking sweets and stuff. And one thing that I love to make was...

What do you mean? Like, do you mean like MasterChef Junior kind of vibes? I auditioned, I was auditioned for MasterChef Junior and I'm still waiting for the call. I don't think you could still do it if you just like shaved the hair. Yeah. So yeah, I loved baking as a child, but-

You know, that's not what you said. You said, I was a baker as a child. I was imagining you getting up at like three in the morning. Dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. Did you try to convert me to kinesiology? Shh. Sorry, I enjoyed baking as a child. That's what you told the people from the Child Protective Services Office.

My parents never let me out of the kitchen. There's only so much flour you can wash out of your hair. Dun dun dun dun dun dun. Dun dun dun dun dun. Anyway. Sorry. So I used to love making cake pops, right? So, my way of destroying the Earth, I feel like in honor of the gigantic woman,

I believe a large, maybe not gigantic, but a large woman. That's good. It's an homage. It's not a copy. Yeah. But a large woman will approach the Earth and stick a cake pop stick in it. Yeah. That doesn't destroy the Earth. Well, certainly that would just be-

It creates like a sort of new Grand Canyon in some- Antarctica. What's an unfortunate area? Antarctica, let's say. Okay, what's an unfortunate area? Pacific Ocean. Silver Circus. Yeah, right on Silver Circus, in fact.

Silver Circus at Brown Gate. Well, honey, look at that! Right as they're about to fly on the trapeze. And then, so the stick stays in the earth for a couple days, and everyone's like, oh, what's going on? Yeah. Then they take it and they dip it in a lovely big Vato chocolate. Oh, is it like a fondant chocolate, or is it like a-

No, like a- ...bacon chocolate it like a chocolate? Like a chocolate that will harden. Like a properly... Like a tempered chocolate. So they, some, Celestical gigantic woman has like tempered chocolate out there. Enough, with enough accuracy and quantity to dip planet Earth in.

Darling, what do you think the Milky Way is? You're dreadful. That's why I lost the reading challenge. Well, if there is enough room in the void for gigantic women, I think there can be gigantic chocolate as well. So there's a Vato chocolate. And so they dip it in. And so I keep saying it like that.

Is that a brand? What VATO chocolate? You know, when they say like, oh, there's a big VAT of. Yeah, VAT. Yeah. I think it was saying. Get with it. I thought there was just like a VAT of acid.

I thought there was like VATO acid. I thought there was just like a tabletop appliance you were referring to. That's like the VATO chocolate. Well, that was one of the back when I was the baker, that was one of the appliances we used all the time, was the vato chocolate. Back in the children's wing of Baker's Delight. It's a very technical term. Sorry, I should have explained I use a lot of technical terms.

Sorry, I'm new. Wait, but also does... I'm now getting a picture that you're baking, like little experience with just you dipping things in chocolate. That was the most... mostly the extent of it. It's pretty good. But yeah, so I like the idea that the earth is dipped in this chocolate and then everyone's sort of slowly mid motion is like it's as the chocolate's hardening,

they're just going like, yes. And then once it's fully hardened, everyone's still conscious. Yeah. And they're like, what's going to happen? And then the lovely lady goes... ... And are all the people like little crunchy bits? Is that their eating?

Yeah. It's like Rice Krispies or something. Yes. Mm-hmm. Like the bodies of those people are puffed up extra big? No, just like I think in the process, just like their bones would make it ever so crunchy. And then, because the center of the earth is magma.

Mmm, that's the little melty bit in the middle. That's like the Lindor chocolate ball. And the woman, like, wipes the lava off her lips seductively. Magma. And you know when, like, the Lindor balls are like, when it's hot, they're really liquidy? Yes. I imagine it would be really liquidy. When it bursts in your mouth.

And it's like, oh. You know when you've like eaten like a delicious like, I don't know, like Hokkien noodle or something? I do know. Actually. And then you've like, you're done. And you're quite confident that you have not like slopped, you know, like no capsicum fell off your chopsticks

and like graced your face. And yet you still wipe with a soviet and there's that orange residue. What do you think about that? Well, I never feel that way. I never feel like I haven't spilled. Spilled. I just assume. Yeah, something's going on.

Get the tarp. She's eaten again. In between my, in between my interviews today, because I had to do some interviews because I've been- Because we're catching you on the day of the exit interview. Yes, my exit interview is in Drag Race. I had a little bit of time to kill and I hadn't eaten anything. So I ate- I had a can of baked beans in the cupboard and I haven't had baked beans in so long. But I made them and I put some cheese in it and it was a little stringy.

And when I went back upstairs to do another interview, I had all these little strings of cheese hanging off my chin. I tell you what, Brenda, if you did your entire press junket, eating like baked beans out of a tin with strings of cheese between sobbing, like she's in drag, but I don't know that we can use this footage. But also, I've never seen a single video from any of these exit interviews. I think they don't actually film them. There were a few, most of them, like half of them said, like half of them said,

drag not required, but preferred. But some of them were print media. Right. Some of them were just articles and things. You were in drag today. Yeah. This morning. And you have a gig tonight.

I know. And you're not in drag right now. I know. Yeah. So what's happening there? I can't, I couldn't do it. Cause I got in, I, my first interview was eight o'clock this morning and my gig tonight is at 10 o'clock.

Why? I could not keep that same face on. So when I- I mean it wouldn't be as good, but who cares? Well, the thing is I did like a, I used the clippers to shave this morning. Yeah. And then I had a shower after all the interviews were done. And I did like a proper shave.

Like razor. Yeah. Cause if I just shaved this morning and left it all day, I would have been all- Stubbly. Stubbly tonight. Yeah. Are you Greek or Italian? Try all day. I would have been all stubbly tonight. Are you Greek or Italian? Try and guess.

I love this game. Oh. Why are you so hairy? Hungarian. No. Polish. No. Are Polish hair we were?

I don't know. So I'll tell you. I got bored of the game. My mom's side is like white. Like she, well, she grew up in Scotland and like English. And then my dad's side is like, he's half white, half Sri Lankan. Sri Lanka, pull up in the Sri Lanka. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm a Nicky fan. Is that in the song? What? You don't know that meme? What? Yeah, I'm a Nicky fan. I mean, yeah, but what does that have to do with? Pull up in the Sri Lanka.

All I know is that one where her eyes like off of this side and she's like, gotta keep an eye out for Selena. I love that one. Or the one where it's like, I performed that at Teresa Problem's birthday last weekend. I love that. And it was actually, I was so like chuffed with myself because... I love that. And it was actually, I was so like chuffed with myself because I didn't miss a fucking

word. Are you a Nicki fan? What? Am I a Nicki fan? Pull up in the Sri Lanka. What? Are you a Nicki fan? I don't know. Are you a Nicki fan?

I don't get it, though. Pull up in the, what? Listen, I can't, I can't, I can't sit here and hold your hand to this. I'm limited. Just look at me. This time won't you save me. Um, well. Shall we go into the show?

Yes. I love it. And we'll be right back. Welcome back, everyone. Oh, pull up in the Sri Lanka. Su-Lang, you're to you all. Okay. I kind of have something before we dive in. Oh, yeah.

I kind of need to ask our guest a question. Go ahead. Can I ask you a question? Yes. Brenda, you sell merchandise on your website. Yeah. Yes. Brenda, you sell merchandise on your website. Yeah. I didn't realize the merchandise you were selling on your website.

Now I know you have your gibbets, love the gibbets. I know you have... I'm scared, what is this question? I know you have fans. I love your fans. You've got beautiful Sue, your Sn um, such game character, Tita. You look so terrified right now. Bitch. As I scrolled the depths of your merch page, I found a rolling pin, a mini

cheese grater, a mini pan, and it's not branded. Just mini. And you call them the like, the like, Sue store. And then in the bottom, it just says collectible. They are collectible. Everything's collectible, I guess. Can you explain what these products are? So...

So... So... When I was thinking about- When I was thinking about what merchandise to do, I was like- I was chatting, I was brainstorming with my dear sister, Delica Tesson. Yeah. And she was like, wouldn't it be great if Sue had her own store and like a range of merchandise that she sells in her store? And I was like, great.

And so we were thinking about all, like, what if we got like some little spoons or things with like Sue engraved in them or whatever? And I was like, yeah, cool. And like some tea towels. I was like, great. I don't have a lot of money. And I was looking into some of these things and I'm the kind of person that I'll be like, so on board with an idea and I'll get right to the end of the process and then I'll get the price. And I'm like, can't be arsed.

Like, I'm not paying that. Yeah. It's not worth it. I'm not going to see the return on that because I'm a business woman. You're a business woman at the end of the day. I am. It's like the thing where I can't justify paying for a costume that costs more than I'm getting paid for the gig. I can't. Your mouth to God's ears. I don't like that.

So I was like, well, why don't I just buy a really limited stock of some small kitchen items that can be little like gimmicky things. So that's the Sue collectibles. They are branded, mind you. I just added the branding after I took the photos. So they've got a little swing tag thingy that says Sue Store. It's a little sticker. And it says Sue Storr. It's got my face on it.

And on the other side, it says Brenda Breast. I think that quietly you have done the single most iconic merch drop that any drag queen has ever done. I think it is so funny. I was talking to Art about it and she was like, I saw it and I thought that they were going to be like, there's a whole range of stuff. And then when you click through it, it'd be like out of stock or whatever.

Yeah, that's... And it would just be like, well, sorry, we don't have the rolling pin today, but Sue will restock it eventually. In the meantime, shop the other things. That would have been cheaper. But you actually... And I probably would have gone... But you're actually just selling rolling pins. Well, you said I'm not actually selling.

I want- No one's buying that. Wait, have you sold any? Um, actually, I've sold- So they come- They are sold separately. I did see that. Or they do come in a little collectible bag, which is called Sue's Favorites, because she's curated a collection of items from the store. So, um, I have sold one Sue's Collectible pack, and I've also sold one-

You won Sue's Favourites. And I've also sold one individual Gratia. That's great. It is Gratia. I say that it's great. That is so- It's like performance art. To me, it is like internet artwork of just putting up a whole store.

I want it to continue. I want it to just be you selling random things from your house that you want to get rid of, you know. Now, every time I'm going to sell something on Marketplace, I'm going to just put it up on Sue's store. Every time I need to sell a bit of furniture. No, but I think each one of the characters you presented, like your Rizzo character from the Mr. Right,

and then your like hippie girl character from the tie dye episode, they all need their own store. Well, see, I did actually find more of that fabric, that tie dye fabric at Spotlight. And so I bought like four meters of it, and I was going to make like a range of like scrunchies or like... Yes. Well, there's a huge tie-dye community that's come out of the woodwork to chastise me this last week. The funny thing is the fabric that I used wasn't even fucking tie-dye. It was just like splotchy rainbow.

Yeah. Splotchy rainbow is the name of your auto-bag. Oh my God. Luchy rainbow. Well, now that we've put that to bed, I'm glad that the, the answer for the question was just as good as the thing itself. Yeah, it's cause she's a queen on a dime and I just said, you know what? Fuck it. Why not? Listener, go and buy a small rolling pin, please.

Oh, well, it's actually called the rolling Royce pin. They all have fun names. See, I came up with good names for them. I think everyone needs to go and buy Sue's favorites. Go buy Sue's favorites while we're in stock. I think it's actually a really good little Christmas gift because you could give that to someone and they would, even if they didn't watch Drag Race, Drag Race, or have any context, they would still enjoy a greater. Well, they're just really cute and small and fun.

And if they also make great kids for gifts, because they may or may not be. What did I say? I'm doing really well, aren't I? Because they may or may not be just. You're selling kids on the start side as well. Yeah. Sue has a shop on the dark web. Sue's kids. Sue sells a shop on the dark web. Sue's kids.

Sue sells trans munitions. I'm surprised you didn't find that page. I would love that. If you set up a dark web, Sue website. Sue's secrets. These are Sue's least favorites. My next question is the little measuring spoon. But like, is that miniature or is that just regular size, but a measuring spoon is small? Because that's important and I couldn't quite tell.

Look, the scale of the items is... Can you take some photos of you holding them? So I did a whole video. It's a reel on my Instagram and I hold up all of the individual... I haven't seen that. I saw the website. Well, please. Please.

She's shadow banned because of all that work. I really thought you would have done some research on your guest before you went by. She's listened to every episode of this show. No. You know, the Hot Wings guy does deep research. Did you say that someone sent us a picture today of him getting milk shoved in his face? No.

What? I thought you were gonna say up his ass. What? Up his ass. Up his ass. I was gonna say, can you send me that? He's great. But it's such a... I don't know. He doesn't seem great.

Yeah. You know when Max and Linda did the wings? Yeah. Was that like, was that with him? No. Was that with him? Is it, didn't you say he's the wing, the hot wings man? Yeah.

So it wasn't, was that- I don't think it was official. Do you think Max was invited onto hot wings? This is the thing. I was like, what is this video? Is it official or is it just a- No, it was like a spoof version. But they did it so well that you couldn't really clock it.

Well, see, they got me. Did you watch it? Oh, yeah. Bit of it. It's really good. Well, I think this is a perfect segue into our first topic of discussion today, which is which thing from the land of Oz goes into the bunker? I'm going to love talking about this.

Oz. Oz. Oz. The Marriott land of Oz. I've seen Wicked. I saw it twice in today's. Yeah. Wicked!

Are you loving that, um, the meme of her in the Target ad? Yeah. Yes. So good. Are you loving that, um, the meme of her in the Target ad? Yeah. So good. Have you gotten used to Cynthia's riff? Have I gotten used to it? Yeah. Yeah, I feel like.

Oh, no. No, no. Compared to Adina's iconic riff at the run. Is it a riff or a run? It's kind of both. OK, her iconic riff on the end of the... Oh, ah! It's more a riff.

A run is like when you go... Yeah, right. And where Cynthia goes... Ah! Not quite. What does she do? You do it. She goes... Ah! It goes ah, ah.

It goes up and down. It's too much. We get it. You can sing. That's how you got the job. OK? I understand why she did it, because she needed to have an edge, you know? No, I liked it.

I think it was great. But I think I've heard it so many times now that now the Adina one's starting to sound weird. It fades. No. Everyone's legacy fades eventually. many times now that now the Adina one's starting to sound weird. It fades. No! Everyone's legacy fades eventually. Yes. Soon you'll just be remembered as that girl who did that fan thing on Drag Race. That's already how I remember.

Item from the Land of Oz. Well, I'm gonna say the fucking trees that throw apples at people. Mmm. They're great. Where has this divine force of curmudgeon gone from children's media? Because so much of the old days of kids movies were like, like maybe one nice character, there's more, like, contrast. Yeah. With all these evil creatures to highlight, like, oh, the good ones.

When everyone's, like, nice and smiling at you or something. Yeah. I'm like, I just want to be a perverse evil tree. Mmm. Those trees, to me, are like very HR puff and stuff. Well, that's what I was gonna say. Like, it's unfortunate that they perfected it later on with HR Puff and Stuff because I think that the Trees and Wizard of Oz are good, but in HR Puff and Stuff, the trees are next to none. Like Society Tree, the Fancy Tree,

who they go and ask questions to, and she's like, good way from me. I'm society tree. She's great. She's better than apple throwing guys who kind of feel like misogynists, if I'm honest. Wow. Well, yeah, why are they doing it? Why? Oh, they pick the apples and then they're like, hey, don't take my fruit.

Yes. I'm going to throw it at you now. Oh, and then she's like, Judy Garland's like, oh, oh. But you know what's like, Judy Garland's like, But you know what's funny, though? They get angry for them taking the fruit. So then they just give it to her. But they throw it at her first.

They're like, hey, take the fruit. But I'm going to. She was like really beginning her diet pill addiction and 10,000 cups of coffee a day at that point. So she's like that first apple hit and she was like, It must have felt like a fucking hammer hitting her in there. Well, back in the old days of the MGM, they were like, get more apples. They were not foam apple. Yeah, they were definitely real. They were just like, get Judy some more and stop bruising Judy.

No, stop bruising the apples. We've got to do this for eight more hours. Wait, didn't we do an apple episode? Yeah, you did. Yeah. God, we're ahead of the game. That's what the trees can be throwing. But I remember it because you said something bad about pink lady apples and they are the superior apple. I'm sorry.

I got to say, I love a little monkey bat. The flying monkeys. Whatever. Yeah. They used to scare me so much. Wait, what is your relationship to Oz media? I hate it. I avoided it all the time. Wait, really? Even Wicked. I've seen The Wizard of Oz maybe once.

That's a weird take for you. I saw Wicked... I don't know what version I saw of it in Melbourne. I loved it. Oh, you like Wicked then? Oh yeah. Okay, good. But like, I've only seen it once.

But why don't you like the Wizard of Oz? You love like Golden Era. Yeah, but I think it's, I think it's a bit of a like gaga moment. It's like too big and everyone's like, I love Wizard of Oz. Yeah. I'm like, I don't need that. But I like, I don't know, I like moving around in a bubble. Yeah.

I like screaming witches. Yeah. I love my other pitch is like a puddle that I love. A puddle. Melting into a puddle. That's great. Quite iconic. And also like just stating it for what it is.

Like I'm melting. Yes. And also, like, just stating it for what it is. Like, I'm melting. Yes. That I really like. But that's, you are very, like, Wicked Witch coded as a human being. Oh, what was the name of the witch that is in the bunker? What's her name? Hegbert. Wait, which witch?

Bayonetta? The Grand High Witch? There's so many. No, I was thinking of Hegbert. We also have Fruzibolk, I was thinking of Hegbert. We also have Fruzibolk, who was also in Return to Oz, as Dorothy. Dorothy Gale. Have you watched Return to Oz? No, I have not.

It's so cool! Is that that, like, kind of creepy one that people... Yeah. Basically, Dorothy Gale gets back from Oz. Isn't she, like, abused or something? No, she's talking about how she went to this magical land and all this stuff, and they're like, she's crazy. Oh, and she gets put in the asylum.

They take her to an asylum, they're going to give her electroshock therapy. Then some little kid comes in and saves her and then they get caught in a river during a flood and go back to Oz, quote unquote. And then when they get back to Oz, after she left, the whole world of Oz had been destroyed. And so she gets back there and everything's in disrepair and like decay. And it's really sad. And she's got a chicken that she rolls around with and there's these evil creatures that have roller skates in their hands. Yeah, the roller.

Oh, my God. What is wrong with people? Why would you make that movie? That sounds great. That's good. What? Sounds awful. But I just think like that incarnation of a witch, I'm sad that, like, I mean, like, obviously love Wicked, but I'm just sad that, like, it's eclipsed the

understanding of, like... It is like quintessential witch. Witch. Yeah. If you had to describe a witch, that's it. Yeah, like when she leaves Munchkinland and there's that terrifying blast of fire, you're like, oh, she's going down to hell. I was going to say that always used to scare the shit out of me as a child.

That fire and that red smoke. Like, it was- It's evil. It felt purely evil. And that I used to be it was- It's evil. It felt purely evil and that I used to be terrified of that as it did. I would think so. We were watching it and you were like, I'm scared of that. And me and Zoltan were watching and going, I love that. It's so funny. Let's explore that a bit more.

Can we hear more from her? Yeah. Let's explore that a bit more. Can we hear more from her? Also, I love in The Wizard of Oz, how juicy the sequins on the, like, ruby red slippers look. Nothing has ever looked that good again. Oh, you know what I love from The Wizard of Oz? When they take, when the slippers go onto Dorothy's feet and then this little stripy stockings just go. Oh, yes. Back up under the house. And then they drag back.

Yeah, it's like rolled and then. It's so scary. I liked I used to love that bit. I also just I mean, I love those giant sets with the map paintings in the original. Yes. Like when they're walking towards like a black wall that's just painted and they're like, just make sure you guys stop this time. Yeah.

Did you, you still haven't watched Agatha, have you? No. No, which you need to do. Have you, did you, do you care about that? All along? Oh no, I haven't. Well, spoiler alert for you guys and everyone, but like they did a lot of set building for like a lot of set building for that. Like the whole thing was that it was all sets and like practical effects and all that stuff. But there's this one point where late in the season where like Aubrey Plaza's character is like revealed for who she is and blah, blah, blah.

And she's like not pretending to be someone else anymore. And she just like walks up to one of those walls with a knife and just cuts through it and walks out. Oh, that's good. So good. Oh, that's great. I've just thought another thing from Musa Da Vos. Yeah. What about the asbestos snow?

Right. Well, that is good. That is very bunker coated. I've seen, do you know what though? Because like you were saying, Zelda, there seems to be like a glut of people that are like making their whole personalities around being obsessed with Oz. Oh, there is. Like, I have read everything to do with The Wizard of Oz and like its extended lore. But the thing that I find so interesting about like kooks like that is that...

Just a couple of kooks. There's people that are genuinely obsessed with like, like Wizard of Oz. And back in the day in the 1990s, if you'd gone to that person's house, that would have been the time that you discovered that they were obsessed with this thing. You wouldn't have the tick tock vacation of your life. So it's like everyone's interest has now become like a hyper fixation online versus like, I love just stumbling upon and being like, oh, this person's crazy and they're obsessed with the Wizard of Oz. And if you go into their house, you're going to find

lit display cabinets of like old Wizard of Oz paraphernalia. And like that is incredible. I love that person that keeps it to themselves. And then they're just obsessed with it. Like, I have every Victorian doll made by American girl doll. And I don't talk about it. But if you come into my house, you will see that I have the rare Jezebel doll that was made only for three months before they called her back because they found out that Mercury was in her porcelain paint. And like that's-

Yes. Like, do you know what I mean? I love discovering that someone's crazy, but TikTok has made it too easy. I think I think it's so great, like, as you say about Mercury, but even it ties into the Wizard of Oz. Like, I just love everything from that era was just everything was poisonous. Yeah. Like everything killed you. So that's the thing, because like, obviously the Tin Man was painted with that copper paint. Lead paint? Yeah. It was aluminium paint. Yes. So that's the thing, because like obviously the Tin Man was painted with that copper paint. Lead paint?

Yes. Oh, copper. It was aluminium paint. Oh. And it got in his lungs. And then, like, even the- didn't they have to recast the Wicked Witch because she got like severely burnt? Yeah.

She did, yeah. She got stuck in the portal. The stage- the stage hole. The stage hole. The stage hole. Wait, there's a stage hole we could be putting in the bunker? That's my new favourite thing from us. I didn't know about the stage hole. Stage hole. Wait, there's a stage hole we could be putting in the bunker? That's my new favorite thing from us. I didn't know about the stage hole.

Stage hole. Tell me more about the hole. When she's melting, she goes through the stage, but she got stuck halfway through and her face got burnt off. That's what I read anyway. Absolute nightmare, that set. It's an inside scoop. But yeah, it just seemed like everything that could go wrong did go wrong. And that's what I was going to go back to is that those Aussie and experts would be

like, that wasn't actually asbestos is the story. Oh. Sorry, I just had to- So it wasn't? Apparently not. And then, you know, it's not actually- Yeah, that. Where's the fun in that?

I'd rather just make people believe that people are falling from the roof. Yeah, that was the best thing as well. Like back in the day, you would just have law that would never get proven or disproven cause the internet didn't exist. Yeah. You just didn't know how much a bitty baby was worth. I don't know, $5 million in five years. You didn't know and no one cared.

Well, yeah. Um, okay. So what else is good? Poppies. Poppies will make them sleep. I love that line. I say it all the time. Mm. Mm. Poppies. Poppies will make them sleep. Okay. Can I just say as well, just quickly? They got the-

It's not going to be quick. No. But I watched an interview with like Breakdown a Scene with the production designer of Wicked. And it was, I found out that the production designer of Wicked was the guy who did the production design for like, all the Christopher Nolan films. Like he did... What are those films? Exactly.

Why are we hiring this man to do a gay film? Yeah, well... The production design of Wicked, which looks lavish, does not look camp. It doesn't look setty to me. It looks dry. Like, it doesn't look gay. It doesn't look like a Gaga music video. It looks like, like, someone's gone for realism.

Oof. Like, the huts all look just like huts. Like, and like, you've plonked a few flowers, and I'm like, this is not high fantasy. Wait, in Wicked? Yeah. From what I've seen. I'm finding it really hard to hear anything negative about that movie.

I need to go see it. Because I honestly, I turned, I went to see it with, um, Della Kutessin and Holly Pop and our husbands and Miss Bobby Pinn as well. We were talking about him last week. Um, and I turned to Della after the movie finished and I said, I think that's the best movie I've ever seen in my life. Oh, you haven't seen the iCarly movie yet. I said in my life so far.

Um, is there like goat principle or whatever hot? The goat principle. Oh, he's an actual goat. Like they CGI'd a goat. See the doctor. Well, they couldn he's an actual goat. Like they CGI'd a goat. For Dr. Duleman. What, they couldn't get an actual goat? To CGI one? They were training the goat to sing and talk, but it just, it couldn't get all the words.

So no real goat. It got most of them, but not all. Yeah, no, they CGI'd it. And it's- Wait, so it's walking around on four legs? Yeah. They went for like realism with the animals. I mean, realism.

But yeah, that was one thing, because you never saw like, because in the musical he's like the horns. Yeah, he's kind of like a Tumnus. Why would you miss an opportunity to have like a hot man in a go-dop? Yeah. Why isn't it fucking Xavier dressed as Tumnus? What's his name? James McAvoy.

Who voiced him from... James McAvoy. Who voiced him from... James McAvoy. Sorry, go on. Oh, Peter Dinklage. That's the one. Right, yeah. Where he voices the goat.

Yes. Okay, yeah, that's good. It's quite good, actually. Do you know what's my favourite piece of Oz media? That Good Morning America where Lady Gaga did all of The Wizard of Oz at like 7 in the morning and she like forced the audience to wear like poppy head pieces so that she could be walking through a sea of poppies and then she had people dressed up. It was like the depths of like, Gaga you need to just, you're phoning it in now.

Like you're just doing kooky shit in a weird way. Now it was for the applause era, I think. I think I've got something really good. Yeah. My favorite. Wait, better than stage hall? It's, it's stage hall coded. So there's, I love like, cause the Wizard of Oz is a musical as well.

Is it? Yeah, it is. Have you never seen? Oh, what's- I love, like, because The Wizard of Oz is a musical as well. Is it? Yeah, it is. Have you never seen- Oh, what's in- The Vivienne is playing it on the West End. Burt Newton played the Cowardly Lion when it was in Melbourne back in the- Did he really? Back when it was alive. And then he played The Wizard. In what?

In Wicked. Was he? Yeah. Oh, Burt. When I- When it came, like, the first time. Haddy would have been so proud. Oh, and you know who played Madame Morrible in the West End? Morrible!

Miriam Margulies. That's a good- Was that the only flaw? Cause I've heard that that's the only flaw with Wicked. Is the casting. Oh no, see I am a- Michelle? I'm a Michelle Yo Stan and she killed it for me. She blitzed it. It was fabulous.

Yeah, right. But- People are like, she's not really singing. But her acting, Mademarable is not known for her singing role in the musical anyway. She does one little like, speaky bit and that's it. Amazing. That's the role I look out for. That would be a great drag role.

It's actually one of my dream roles to play Mademarable. Mademarable. Dream higher. You'd be a great Glinda. No? I don't want to be Glinda. Why not? It's so predictable. So anyway, what about that small room that that guy's in?

The small room. Isn't the wizard in like that small room? He's got a little curtain. Oh, yeah. I love the way that they have his giant terrifying head. That is great. Which I think as well, done better in the original. I think that puppet head isn't as compelling as that giant projection head.

With smoke. Sorry to do this to you, Brendan. But the puppet head is like the musical. Coded. Coded, yeah. It's like this musical act. Oh, that reminds me of what I was saying. So it's really good.

That's why I come back to it. Go on. There's this clip online of this, like, amateur production of The Wizard of Oz, and they have a real life dog playing Toto, and it jumps out of the girl's hands and she's, like, trotting along the stage. And she's like, Oh, Toto! In character, she's like,

Toto! Toto, come here! Come here! And he's trotting, and then all of a sudden he falls off the stage. Oh. And he just disappears and the audience goes, Oh, that's incredible. I think that's my fate. Because when I said it was stage hold, Codex fell down the stage.

That is good. He fell off the stage. I do like dogs just walking off into nothingness as well. And he's so confident about it. He's like, do, do, do, do, do. And then he's gone. He said, I don't not want to be part of this production. He's like, I did not sign up to be underneath you screeching.

Yeah, that kind of sounds like me last Friday on stage. Take a tumble. No, that'll be tough. Yes. So we've been having our weekly screenings at Wheat Wine and Whiskey, www. And in the dungeon. In the dungeon.

In the basement. Which was air conditioned this week for some reason. Yes, good. Just this week. Just this week. But Zelda at the start of the night was like, I'm going to wear a wet T-shirt and the theme is wet T-shirt competition. Because I got these new tits. All like a breastplate.

No, just like little chicken cutlets. But they're really good. And she like, like silicon ones. Yeah. And so she. But they're really good. And she... Um, like, silicone ones? Yeah. And so she was like, who wants to wet me down with water? Yeah. And all night I just had people throwing water on me. So that my t-shirt was saturated and my tits would show.

And then she was like, these tits are incredible. And I was like, Zelda wants you to ask... How are they held up? In a bra. And then she said, I would like you to touch my tits. Yeah. Whenever you get a chance, come and ask Zelda if you can touch her tits with consent. And so Zelda was so proud of her tits. It came up like five times throughout the course of the night. And we came back for the final show and Zelda was like, I'm going to do a performance.

And she did her performance and it was great. And then this song started playing that there was the other song that she was like, I might do the song, but maybe it's too esoteric for you. Like, let's see. So I just played it afterwards, but the spotlight was still on and like we'd done with the night was done. We'd like said goodbye, but then the song started and I had to like go over and back on the stage, like pick up all the bits, but the spotlight was still on. So every time I was in the spotlight, I just started lip-syncing. She started getting really into it. And then I was like, oh, well, people are still watching me, but let's give you a little extra.

And so there I was, dancing around and lip-syncing perfectly in Japanese to Lisa Durange, which- Was that an audience pick? No, no, it wasn't. Oh, so you chose that? Yes. Still like three rows of people in the seating watching like everything that she was doing. But if you don't know the song, which turns out no one does, it's kind of, it's this like...

Sing a little bit. Um, it's kind of, it's this like- Sing a little bit. So, uh, it is kind of like a, like a rock song, like a, like J rock kind of song. So like, I do like, like soft little intro and then it gets into the first chorus and I'm like starting to like dance around cause I'm like the night's over, who cares, it's fun. And then I fall off the stage, but I recover and then I kind of like hobble back up and the people who are still paying attention like, yes, she's okay. And then I stand up and the spot, like the whole venue is pitch black except for the spotlight. So if you

have eyes, you're watching what the fuck is happening. And then I stand up, but I'm conscious that I just fell over. So I'm like, I'm standing back up and I go to check that my brand new tits that I've been raving about for four hours in front of these people are okay. And then I look down and they're falling out, but they're caught in my wet t-shirt, kind of like in this goblin monster-esque belly that I've now got of these two globs. And then I go to fix them and they both just drop out of the t-shirt onto the floor. Did they make a nice slap? And I keeled over in laughter and I couldn't get up.

And everyone that saw it, who was still in the venue, was like, what the fuck? Oh, and imagine, like, they're like the teardrop shaped, like, slipper. Yes. They make such a good... When they're like the teardrop shaped like silicon ones. Yes. They make such a good- When they fall on the floor. Why do you know about the falling on the floor? It's never happened to a lady of your repute.

They are ever so heavy as well, so I'm not surprised that they've got dislodged when you took a double. My god, Gansu and Heavy Rack. They are weighty. I think they used them to like weigh sweets, boiled sweets back in the day. You know, on those like scales they put a silicone tit on one side and then like... They used them to weigh boiled sweets back in the day. But anyway, so just like that dog, I too fell off stage. Do you know what else I love from Oz?

Being a woman on a bicycle in a tornado and going... I was also going gonna say a tornado, but the bike's good too. Tornado. That is a great theme. I love that. I love that they referenced that in the movie as well. They had the shot of like Cynthia Reva on the bike with the lion cub in the back and the basket. Why would she be on the bike? Yeah. Because she is the wicked witch. Oh, that's right. Oh my God. I forgot that. Whatever. Keep up. And goodness knows...

Okay. Goodness knows I'm sick of this. Listen, I was really obsessed with when Wicked... Because like, my TikTok has just been wicked and I'm like, guys, I haven't seen it yet. Calm down. Just take it off. But I was like, why is there no one doing like the whole wicked soundtrack, but changing the word wizard for lizard and then putting a little hat on a lizard

and being like the lizard and I, you know? Yeah. I wonder why. Like, why is no one doing like that? I think you could do it as a whole in the market. What's the other lizard? You can still be with the lizard. I like that.

The lizard will see you now. Yeah. And then it would be like a lizard wearing a hat and would cut to the lizard and it would be like. Send it to Weird Elm. I believe the lizard could make you his magic. And then you could just throw it in other places like, no one mourns a lizard. No one says lizard.

Lizard. I like that. I mean, that's, and I actually Googled it for a while being like, someone's got to have done this. No one's done wicked lizard. No one's done. Yeah. The lizard, the lizard of ours.

What a shame. Why do people have lizards if not dressing them up as wizards? You know what I saw? Speaking of lizards on TikTok recently, there was this person who had been using this rice cooker for ages and they were like, oh, and we'd always get this beautiful, like, toasty flavour, toasted rice flavour from the- from the rice cooker. And one day they opened it up to repair it and it was like covered in fried-

like the element was covered in like fried skinks. Oh! So that lovely toasty flavour in the rice is just. Wait, more than one. Like a full, like probably ten Skinks in this rice, the bottom of this cooker. Yeah, family. Like moved into a new house. Oh my God.

Like, oh, it's lovely here. Oh, it's a bit warm. It's getting hotter. Yeah. Sort of like the studio now. We're all going to be fried Skinks in a moment. Could our favourite thing to come out of The Wizard of Oz be Liza Minnelli? Because she came out of Judy Garland.

Hmm, I see. Through her stage hall. She birthed her through her stage hall. But I'm, at the moment, I'm kind of tantalized by these vicious flames. I mean, that is good. Flames of art. Life with Judy Garland, Me and My Shadows, the made for TV movie, where Judy Garland was played by Judy Davis, the Australian actress.

Ah. And it's so good. And she's all burnt out and she's like falling into pools and she's cut. Gracefully? Life with Judy Garland, pools and she's cut. Gracefully? Life with Judy Garland, me and my shadows. No, but falling into pools gracefully? No, she's on drugs. She's on the end of her life.

And on the edge of a pool by the sounds of it. Like CJ in the West Wing. Actually, maybe I've just combined those two things. When I was so, there was this guy called CJ in the year above me in primary school. See, this is a good link, Seldom. Guy. Oh, thanks. Anyway, he was weirdly like good friends with me, but then when he went into year... That is odd.

...when he went into year seven, obviously I was still in grade six. Obviously. So then we weren't friends anymore because you can't be friends with someone in primary school if you're in high school. Could be friends with Brenda's mom. She loves watching kids come home. Anyway, go on. When we had to get like vaccine or whatever day and like all the little kids had to line up, whatever day and like all the little kids had to line up.

CJ was so freaked out by lining up to get like the little needle in your arm. And when he went up, he was so freaked out. He was like, super, super, super, super tense. And he's like, arm was all like tensed up. So then they gave him the needle. And then when he walked away and like released the pressure in his arm, all this blood like goshed out of his little needle hole in his arm. Incredible. That's my CJ story.

Me and my shadows, Judy Davis. You know, in the iCarly theme song where she says, I just had to look up all day today, so wake up the members of my nation. It's your time to be. There's no chance unless you take one. And the chance to see. And the time to see. The brighter side of every situation, some things are meant to be.

So give me your best and leave the rest to me. It doesn't make sense. It's a bunch of nonsense. There's something so stirring about Miranda Cosgrove waking up the members of her nation. Like, she sounds like she's running for, like, fascist dictatorship. Like, wake up my members of the nation!

She sounds like the Wicked Witch. Wicked! She sounds like she's like, flying monkeys, go wake up the members of the nation. Yes. I just looked up the cast of iCarly. Do you know the- Did you watch iCarly? Yes.

Do you know the shift in, like, the season when Freddy went from, like, boyish charm to, like- Hottie Biscotti. He got a little bit of, like, biceps. Oh, that was part of my gay awakening. It was that and David Henry in Wizards of Waverly Place. Oh. Mixed man. Oh!

Ooh! I love- Have you seen that guy who played Zeke on Twitter? Yes! This guy who played Zeke, the best friend of David Henry's character in Wizards of Waverly Place, has now started doing porn. And he... No, no, no, it just does a lot of porn. And he was really upset that he wasn't invited back for the- the- the review. has now started doing porn and he just does a lot of porn.

And he was really upset that he wasn't invited back for the- And because David Henley, he's like a real like family man. He's like a Mormon, isn't he? Something. And he- and whenever this guy is brought up in interviews and stuff, he always like awkwardly changes the subject. It's really funny. He's like really put off by it. Yeah. But Zeke is now trying to- like, I think he's edging towards doing some propagation soon. Well, yeah, he's been, um, he's been like sort of teasing it for a while.

Yeah. He's been doing a lot of content with, um, trans girls and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Hmm. Yeah. So. So in Oz.

So yeah, Oz. I think stage hall. Yeah. Oh, stage hall is great. Yeah. Can I just, I need to clarify. Was it in a wall or is it in a floor? It's when the Wicked Witch disappears from Munchkinland.

So floor. Floor. And there's also a stage hole. Is that where the flames came from? Yeah. So if we do stage hole, we're getting flames, right? Flames, smoke and disappearing. Yeah.

So you can just make an exit from the room. Can there be one in every room so you can like. Yeah. So you can just make an exit from the room. I think that's- Can there be one in every room so you can like- Yeah. That's the way you- Staff access. Yeah, but there's like only a select few who can use the stage hall. Yeah, I don't think it's fair.

Bayonetta. Oh, that's too much for her. She's already got enough going on. She's too- What do you call it? She's getting it! I've got something to say about her later on. Too OP? Is she too OP? Is that- What does that mean? She's getting it. I've got something to say about her later on. Is she too OP?

Is she too OP? Is that what does that mean? What's OP? Overpowered. I think you're too OP. She's got good combos in Smash though. She does. When you can go...

So you've never seen Sprit it away, but you've seen... I like that. Bane in her specials in Smash. She could just keep going. She has some stuff. There's enough room in your heart for both of those things, I think. If you were... If they called you up and said,

the cast of Drag Race Down Under Season 4 are gonna be featured in the new Smash Bros. Down Under... Smash Bros. Down Under? What would your special attack be? Oh, well, actually, you know what it would be. Remember when you were making that game, that card game? Which is still going to happen. Is it?

Yeah, I was just talking about it today. Oh. So teaser, but... So my special ability for that was going to be... Falsetto. And she would have like a supersonic scream into like a microphone that would like, it would, you know, when in smash, when some of the moves make them like fall asleep for a second. Yeah. It'd be like one of those. And so she'd go like scream at them, make them fall asleep or pass out.

And then she'd be like, I'm like, jab them in there. My issue is that because the gag is in the title of the move, when would anyone engage? Like I don't know where we learn the names of the... Fullscreen? Is that... Special move menu? So that's the only time we're seeing false set ho. But it's also just for those who are like in the know and who care enough about the

game to... Yeah. Like Smash Bros. Smash Bros. down under. Yeah. Coming soon to the new Switch being released next year. Who knows? Nintendo love to disappoint.

But yeah, stage hole. There is a stage hole in Wicked as well. Oh, good. Wicked! Well, we didn't even talk about Mila Kunis in that wonderful Wizard of Oz movie by Sam Raimi. That was bad. The great and powerful.

Yeah, great and powerful Oz. Meg. Shout out Meg. Meg? Mila Kunis. Oh yeah. What about Diana Ross and Michael Jackson? Aren't they not?

The whiz! Get on down, get on down! Get the lyrics right. Sorry. It's not my job to get the lyrics right. That's my line. Ha! Ha!

Ha! Ha! Oh, that's so good. Um, yeah, I haven't seen it, but I know that exists. Diana Ross? Yeah, she's good. Yeah, and then that character, what's her name, Eveline, that Silky did on Snatch Game.

Oh, not Snatch Game. She did her on something. She's like the evil queen, Eveline. Great. What about Oz, the prison show with Christopher Maloney's dick? Yeah, many times. What about Dr. Oz? Oof, Adebisi. Adebisi? Grizzabella?

No, that's the chicken in. Cats? I'm not talking about cats. No, is that the chicken? What's the name of the chicken in Return to Oz? I don't know. Zelda, you would love this chicken. This chicken's getting me on board. The chicken's name was Bellina.

Bellina? Cute!lina. Berlina? Yeah. Cute. Berlina. What kind, like a brown kind of chicken? Yeah, like brownie red. Rust, I would say. The original red dog. Orbit. We need to move on from this awful topic.

This has been a long topic. Fiery hole. Yeah. Stage, stage, fiery stage hole. Actually coming all the way back to Hot Ones. That guy and his fiery stage hole. Yes. Fiery stage hole.

Bye. That's my line. And welcome back everyone. And the next topic for discussion today is of course, which item from the coffee club menu goes into the bunker? Brenda. You've kept a secret from us. Did you not used to work at coffee club? Wait, no? What the fuck, lazy? You've kept a secret from us. Did you not used to work at coffee club?

Wait, no? What the fuck, Lazy? Oh, I know that you worked with my friend Elle at one stage. Ellie Duggan at a cafe for like two days. You trained her. Yes, but it wasn't coffee club. Where was it? What was it? So I'm just finishing my coffee club sandwich.

Yeah. You forgot your from the club? The snacks on the menu today really haven't landed then. Thank you to today's finishing my coffee club sandwich. Yeah. You forgot your from the club. On the menu today really haven't landed then. Thank you to today's sponsor, Coffee Club. No, it was at a cafe that's now closed down. Perfect. Ellie really ran it into the ground.

The coffee was terrible. It was called Nomadic. OK, so the topic for discussion today. Sorry, okay. So the topic for discussion today. Sorry, yes. Which item from the menu of Nomadic Cafe gets into the bunker. Yes, that's much better. Recently, newly departed Nomadic Cafe.

What? You were training people at a job? I was the head barista. Oh, in where? We all think the coffee was terrible. Where was Nomadic? High Street in Barrick. I was in Barrick.

Yeah. And so tell me, tell me about Nomadic. Oh, actually, it was a really fun job. I loved, I loved being a barista. It was really fun. But, um, I kind of walked in there one day, just handing out resumes as you do. You kind of did. Before Seek was a thing, you know, I mean, it was a thing, but it wasn't as much of a thing.

Yeah. Um, and just went in there and was like, I'm applying for a job if you have any vacancies and they were like, yeah, great. Jump on the machine now and do a trial. And I was like, I wasn't ready. Yeah. You're like, I'm not really dressed. I'm wearing my applying job outfit.

No, where my barista clothes. Yeah. I haven't got my high vis on. Or my non-slip shoes. But yeah, I was like, I worked there for like two years. And in that time, climbed the ranks very quickly. Sounds like you climbed the ranks immediately. Yeah. Well, I couldn't, I'm not an entry level kind of girl.

No, they needed you. This is the laugh that I was talking to you about. Oh, that one. I was saying to Brenda, I was like, from episode one on, I have been delighted to hear you in every confessional with your rich lady laugh. It's like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh And it's so posh. Oh, gosh. That's the South side of it, man. Yeah.

I'm devilish. Um, yeah. So you rose the ranks at Pneumatic. Yeah. Pneumatic. Pneumatic. And so what, what, what kind of, I'm going to Pneumatic. It's a, it's a Saturday afternoon.

What am I, or maybe morning, maybe it's brunch. Oh, we're doing brunch now. Me and Zelda are going for brunch. Oh, we do often. We've gone to Berwick and, for some reason. And we say- It's a lovely part of town. It's beautiful.

It actually is, I'm not being- I've been. Oh. I've seen it. You can't lie. Berwick High Street is nice. That old Berwick is nice. New Berwick, where I used to live. Oh, we're only talking about old Berwick. Old Berwick. That's where the old money is. It's the jewel of the South East. Can't be denied.

Yes. And so what kind of things will we see on there? Well, as in like when you walk in on the venue. Yeah. And also what are you saying to us when we walk in? Yeah. Um, I'm saying I'm not the wait staff. So wait for someone to see you cause I'm busy on the machine.

One thing about Nomadic, it was always really busy. So like- Well, it's in the jewel of the South. If you're coming in on a Saturday, my line of dockets for coffees was a mile long. Coffee out, thanks Trish. Oh, we had a little bell. You go, brrrr. No, no.

So you didn't have to talk to the waitstaff. So I didn't have to, yeah, I didn't talk to, I didn't have to talk to anyone. I was like, please don't address me. You've been so good in custom. They never made you wait tables as well. Oh, I had to do it when, when required, but it wasn't my role. Yeah. I'm only doing this for a short while.

But there was like graffiti on the walls. It was, it was like, it was the South, South East to enter to like something a little bit edgy. Yeah. Right. And so, and so there's no like entry pun line, like, you know, like, I know you're just passing through. Don't stay too long.

Yeah. Nomadic. Yeah. You know, you know, like, I know you're just passing through. Don't stay too long. Yeah. Nomadic. Yeah. You know, you know what there was? There was a really cool, um, mural of a pig on the wall that had the word nomadic on it. It was a big old porker. A big old pig. But I think it was resemble, resembled resembling?

It resembled. It resembled. It resembled. Thank you. Thank you, God. That wasn't that was just a voice in your head. Oh. Anyway, the pig resembled. The pig resembled the owner. Oh, that's camp.

So a realistic looking pig or was it a cartoon? It was like sort of a mixture of the two. Oh, I hate that. But you want to know something that you've just reminded me of something that happened at Nomatic. So this owner was a bit of a pig, but I was so in year 12, I started dating this guy who was like. 10 years older than me. Excuse me. And we were together me. Excuse me, Grinder. And we were together for like, what, nine months.

Yeah. But I thought he was like, the one. Mm-hmm. And... Wait, how did you meet this man that was ten years older than you? How any gay person meets other gay people? At a beat. Ah.

And on Grindr. Oh. I know. Because when I was graduating, Grindr. I know. Because when I was graduating Grindr was not such a thing. Yes. I'm a little bit younger. Quite a bit. You're 10 years younger than me.

No. We discussed this the other day. You're 32, yeah? 33. I'm 35. Oh. 25. In the year.

So I was born in 99. 99. good year. 8 years. But yeah, so I was dating this guy, then got this job at Nomadic while we were dating. Was he hot? What was he doing dating an 18 year old, 17 year old? I was his first boyfriend. Shut up.

And I also took his virginity. What? When he was like 28. He was 28 years old. Virginity with guys or virginity full stop, full stop. Wow. I hope he doesn't listen to it. I don't want to do it.

Shout out to Charlie. Charlie. Charlie, stop dating people in high school. Well, I was 18, so it was legal. Anyway, anyway, I got this job while I was dating him and then sort of like a few months into it, the job, he broke up with me and broke my heart. I was devastated. It was like my first real heartbreak. And so I like, of course, I was like, oh, I'm quitting my job.

I can't do anything. Like, I was having a full breakdown. And so I confronted, I took my dad in with me and I confronted the owner of the cafe. I sat him down. I was like, I am not working anywhere because he used to have this nickname for me because he knew I was gay and used to call me Princess. And I hated it. I actually. Princess is one of the rudest things. I really hated like. Like, if it was now, I would have put him right in his place.

But I was so young and I was like, I did not know how to handle the situation at all. And so I took my dad in and I confronted him and like, I had my dad, because my dad's like, biggest supporter, like he's amazing. And we sat there together and we confronted this pig of a man. And it was like the most powerful thing. And I was like, so I will not be coming back. And then it was so juicy to see him grovel and be like, I need you to stay. I'm so sorry. Like, I need just finished training Elle, my friend.

Yeah. Or maybe Elle was maybe she was the one who was calling me. Princess. She would have used a faggot. Yeah. But yeah, so that was like my first like power moment. Power move. And do you think you would do it now with just on your own or would you still bring it in? I wouldn't be working in a cafe now.

You don't win snatch game and then go back to winning that game. Yeah, she's selling small rollies. Yeah, you go and sell cheaper things from the internet and put your label on them. If someone doesn't buy that, I hope that this is a call to arms. I hope so. I don't have a lot, so people buy them because I want them out of my house. Wake up, our members of our nation. It's your time to be.

Maybe I'll sell them out of a stage hole. Sell them out of a stage hole. That'll work. Go to the viewing party this week. Brenda will be in the stage hole just selling merch. More Melbourne venues need to have a stage hole. Molly's could have a stage hole because it could go straight down to the second. True. You heard it Molly's second have a stage hole because it could go straight down to the second. True.

You heard it Molly. I'll see you downstairs. I imagine. I can't remember her name, but the diva dressed as Wonder Woman who lands on stage. Yes. Okay. I love that. Well, Molly's you heard it.

Please install a stage. What food and drinks do they sell at this cafe? Can I get a poached egg? Can I get a banana? Is it like chili scramble? What do they sell at this cafe? Can I get a poached egg? Can I get a banana bun? Is it like chilli scramble? What do they have like a specific fusion? Am I thinking is it British breakfast? It's very like Aussie like brunch vibes like that.

Smash dabosh. Yeah, there was no like, there was no like flair. Like there was no like Persian love cake. What was the specialty? They had a great selection of cakes. And one part of my job as the head barista was to lay out all the cakes in the cabinet at the start of the day. That's good. That's a fun responsibility.

But you know what would happen is they'd stay in the cabinet for a few days sometimes and then they'd go a bit gross. And so then I'd be like, oh, they can't be displayed anymore. And then I'd take them home. It would be a waste to waste them. Sometimes they'd accidentally fall on the floor. Yes. Then I would eat them off the floor. Little pig.

My favourite thing on the menu, though, they used to do this, like, Thai calamari salad. That does sound good. It was divine. Bit of like a like a fresh rocket thrown in. Bit of a rocket, but no, it was like a wombocky kind of salad. Oh, I love a bit of wombo. With like the most delicious dressing.

And tell me about it. Was it, was it citrus? Like sesame, sesame and like a bit of soy. It had some like fried shallots in it. Oh, a little bit of fresh chili. And little bit of fresh chili and the black sesame seeds. That tossed over the... Am I missing something here? That's good.

That was a bully. Do you know how she bullied that guy into bleeding so bad? What? Yeah, she was like, this needle is going to really fucking hurt. Do you know what's so funny about where you started that story about CJ, just to go back to that, is that you're like, so there was a guy and we were friends and then we stopped being friends. And then the story began in actual earnest, because the event of the story is I had a

friend named CJ who went to go and get vaccinated. He was tensing his arms so much that he spurted blood as soon as he let his arm go. But you had to include the depressing part that you weren't friends anymore. But I think that's so interesting because like, You're like, it's not going to be a Zelda story from her childhood if it doesn't have this much. No, but that's important because that's such an experience. That's why he was beating.

No! I just feel like it's confused the telling. No, that just added extra flavour. You seem to love the roasted sesame. That is a bit of flavour. A bit of flavour, yeah. Yeah, well. It did give her like a nice backstory.

I think I could give more. He had a really hot old brother who was trying to get into the army. Ugh. So, oh, did he shave his head? No, he had long hair. I think he's the first person with long hair that I informed my obsession. You're going to say first person with long hair ever to be in the army. I was going to, yeah. He rewrote the law. Yeah. And we used to play Turok, dinosaur hunter in his bedroom. Turok. And we used to play... Turok? Command and conquer. Turok, dinosaur. Or dinosaur. Stegosaurus. But...

Direct dinosaur. Oh my god. And pterodactyl. She's pretty starring. Well, I'll keep my stories to myself. No, sorry. People could have beverages or whatnot for her. No, no, no, please continue.

Will you get a fresh juice? Are you doing a fresh juice without the poke? I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke.

I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. I'm not doing a fresh juice without the poke. No, sorry. People could have beverages or an offer. No, no, no, please continue. Will you get a fresh juice? Are you doing a fresh juice without the pulp? Or is it a bottle to fail? How thick is the milkshake?

Because I shouldn't have to request a thick milkshake. I don't want flavored milk. I want a milkshake. Isn't that the worst when it's just like milky and there's no thickness? Can I tell you those other... When I was making milkshakes, I've had a long career of making milkshakes, because I did also work as a barista at Revitable Venues. We're gay, we've all been baristas.

But I also would do extra ice cream, extra flavoring, and then I would pop in two cubes of ice. Oh. Because I think that there's nothing quite like a frappe effect. But also because I think if it's just ice cream, it becomes a bit sludgy. And I think you need a little bit of like water to just kill it. You know what was criminal? When Macca's shakes stopped going from like the thickest ice cream that you couldn't slip it through the straw to like what you're describing, slightly frappe-esque

shake. I don't, I don't like it. You want the soft serve that's just a little bit wet. I wanted that when you hand me the shake, I can't take a sip. I have to wait for it to melt a little bit. Just a little, yeah. Yeah. That's what I miss. Medium thick. And also I remember the days when Maccas didn't forget to replace the flavour sachets in the

fucking machine, because when I order a chocolate shake and it comes out like vanilla, I'm not happy. Wait, is it just a sachet? Whatever. I've never worked at McDonald's, but I don't know how it works. But I'm assuming it's some sort of- Excuse me, sir, could you replace the flavor sachet? She said completely confidently. She doesn't have any knowledge. Or it's not- The 14 year old is like, sir, could you replace the flavor sachet? She said completely confidently. Any knowledge?

Or it's not 14 year old. It's like, uh, sorry. That's not how the machine works. I want a different sachet. And if you don't put one in now, um, so you have not understanding how restaurants work. Is it true that at KFC, they just have like cubes of lard. They drop into top up the little thing.

What little thing? Like the little fry machine. Yeah, I see. They just like have cubes, they just drop in the cube. Yeah. Is that, cause someone in fact checked that? I didn't see, I'm incorrect. What else could it be?

Yeah. There's no way of knowing. That's crazy. Okay. Okay. Oh, you know what I just remembered that we used to sell at that cafe. So the hot chocolates were made from like chocolate pellets. What do you call them?

Like chocolate cubes. No. What are those? Chips? Like circle things. Chips. Oh, like buttons. Buttons.

Like, but not buttons. Like small. Like cooking chocolate. Yeah, sort of. Yeah. Nibs. And so nib. No, nib is the name, anyway, sorry. Nibs.

Nibs. Nubbins. Nubbins. My favorite. God. Chocolate nubbins. Chocolate nubbins. Yes, you used to make the hot chocolate out of chocolate nubbins.

That sounds very deluxe. Like real chocolate, not a powder. For a period we had white chocolate as well. White. And so I'd sometimes do a little blend of milk and white. You're crazy. That was the treat for when your friends came in. And we also had coconut milk, like, that you could make a coffee with.

Like some people would request coconut milk in their coffee. Decadent. And so sometimes they'd make a hot chocolate with coconut milk and it used to taste like a bounty. It's just the last days of Sodom and Gomorrah. This kind of excess will not be tolerated by an adventure god. There was a waitress there and we used to have hot chocolate o'clock, like at three o'clock in the afternoon after the lunch rush.

And we'd be like, because it was coconut hot chocolate, we'd be like, is it time for a Cocoa Hocho? Well, yeah, I think that that about Cocoa Hocho. Cocoa Hocho. I think Cocoa Choco Choco Clock. Yeah. What was it? Hot Choco Clock.

Hot Choco Clock. And Hot Choco Clock, you have a cacaocho. It's hot chocolate clock. It's hot chocolate clock in the bunker. How many is it till hot chocolate clock? Yeah, exactly. Hot chocolate clock. Maybe when someone dies.

Alright everyone, it's time to go to the wake and we will be serving hot chocolate. Hot cocoa choco. Cocoa hocha. It's a cocoa hocha or hot cocoa choco. She lived a good life. Everyone's standing around holding the mugs like... Yeah. You know this is coconut.

It tastes like a bounty. What's a bounty? The vegans can enjoy it as well. That was strong as well. Because we can make it with dark chocolate. Gwyneth appreciates that. I saw a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow the other day and she looked, Oh no, it wasn't, it was a TikTok.

It was a moving image and, um, the moving image and it was for Goop TikTok. And then it was like the suspect, you know, have you seen this meme where if it's like the suspect is found guilty of this. And then they like say something that that person's done and they're like, I don't know. Oh, I think. The suspect has been accused of dating all the brats in Hollywood.

Yes. And then like, Gwyneth's like, oops. Guilty. Me? And she like takes a sip of her drink and like the suspect is accused of. She takes an item of clothing off. The suspect is accused of- She takes an item of clothing off. The suspect is accused of not knowing what TikTok is and yet asking their employees to make sure the TikTok following is better and she's like,

brr, brr, brr. I love Gwyneth Paltrow, is what I was getting to. She's so beautiful. And she's so talented. And she'll be very appreciative of Hot Chocolate Clock. I think so. Hot Chocolate Clock with Pepper Potts. I like that.

Yeah. Alright, that's great. Yeah. And what are we drinking at Hot Chocolate Clock? A Cocoa Hoa Chum. Who is this woman? Where is she now? Oh, she was so fabulous.

What was her name? There was a few with like like, the same name. You know how there's always, like, five Melissa's or like... In Beric, I assume. Oh. You didn't even know. Maddie, Maddie, Maddie. Of course her name was Maddie.

There was, like, a couple... Was it Maddie? No, it was Laura. There was two Laura's. It was Laura. Okay, I think the way that it's served is that like through the stage hole comes Laura, just like wearing her uniform and passing out the cocoa hocho. Yeah. Oh, amazing.

And she's like, it's her. She was always the best waitress as well. Like she was really good and she'd always take things out on time. And like we would always have fun banter. She sounds like a delight until you burnt it all down. What did she think? Laura B. What did she think when you left?

I think she'd already left by that point. She was working two jobs already. What did she think about you dating a man that was 10 years older? Laura B wouldn't stand for that. No, I think by that point I had parted ways with. Did your boyfriend at the time ever have the experience of the Hot Chocolate Clock? Coco Hocho? I don't know.

Then why were we talking about your boyfriend? Wasn't that why you quit? Because you broke up? Like a few months into the job. So I hadn't really established myself as a main character in the cafe. We hadn't established like our backstories. Like Kukar Hocho. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That was season three material. But I don't know if he came and enjoyed one, but the awkward thing was his sister was like a regular to the cafe and her like his sister and her kids. Was he geeky or was he like rebel without a cause? Like what was his energy? Well, this will give you a good indication. He owned a post office. Ooh.

So he was sexy. Yeah, that's amazing. What kind of terrible things did they sell there? Oh, like all the trash. Like, you know, just the most random rancid things that you find in- Mini rolling pins. Mini- What?

Wow. She is our guest. The Nare North Post Office does stop the full range of Sue's favorites. The Sue's collectibles. Love. The Post Office at Clifton Hill is actually in dire need of some help because they're offering, because post offices are like, sometimes they have really interesting bang, like

there's like quite a curated stock of like, and they get to choose. Or is it like, yes. I think it's like, like one of them I've seen is like make a hydraulic arm, like for like a kid's craft playdate and like, build your own stage hall. And then there's like, this is a pen, but it's got a diamond set onto the end. And like, these are like, but like the idea is that you're in the post office, you're sending something to grandma and then you like, maybe pick up a few

additional pieces. I'll send her one of those as well. She'll love this. But the Clifton Hill one, they just seem run ragged doing all the North sides, you know, various sundries. And so they have, they've forgotten the gift shop element. And I just, it just shows. It is an important element of a post office.

They have half empty racks. Yeah. Like it's all just like, I feel like if Tabitha Turlington ever wanted to do, She took over. If she took- she needs to take over. Yeah. She does need to take over. Just the Clifton Hill Post Office, and perhaps, I think she would have a few things to say. Maybe Lucina Innocent should just go in there and-

I'm the post office maven of the North, and I'm here to save this place. And you know what would happen? They'd be like, oh, what's going to go on those empty shelves? And she'd be like, you'll just have to wait and see. Oh, that's good. I'm so mad.

There's certain lines that I had in my head that I was like, that's going to be on the show 1,000%. And I had a line in my talking heads where I was talking about Lucina. And I was like, this is going to make it in the show. And I'm so excited. And I think I even said it in my little like memo machine, like the night of where I was like, Lucina, is she a silent assassin

or is she being assassinated by her silence? That's good. That was good. That is good. And I was like waiting for the line to come up and then she went home and I'm like, oh, this guest is not going to come up. Yeah. He'd make the cut. Yeah. I was like, for the line to come up and then she went home and I'm like, Oh, this guess is not going to come up. Yeah. Make the cut.

Yeah. I was like, that was funny. I love that. Anyway, it was a cut. Footage. Yeah. I was like, Brenda, you look like a girl that's in the back of a van with toe socks about your- And who's just vomited all over herself.

That was the whole- that was the whole premise of my Bronya Moore shoot. Yeah. Was- That girl. Yeah. Was that girl. Yeah. That girl before she got back into the minivan. I think she stayed with the- she stayed with the vomit until the end of the journey. But I was so- Filled the van.

Why have they cut these gorgeous lines? There are a lot of good things that hasn't made the edit. You know what I'm sad that didn't make the edit? Nikita's cough. Nikita coughing the entire time. She was so sick. She let me on this podcast. She is.

Oh, and I had such a good read for her. Go on, you can say it now. I will. So I said, because that was my way of jamming that in there. I'll be like, I will get my read in. I said, Nikita Iman, girl, that cough has had more airtime than Olivia dreams. That is fun.

But alas, it doesn't make sense because no one heard a cough. Damn. Missed opportunity. Yeah. Well, opportunity with that. Cocoa, hot chocolate, hot chocolate. Yeah. Yeah. Congratulations.

And Laura. And Laura. Who only lives under the floor. Yeah, Laura from the floor. Can Laura use the stage holes? Oh, she has to. That's her mode of transport. Yeah, so she's only allowed to ever,

she's not allowed to step off the stage hole area. And she's being burnt constantly. She's always got half of, she's always got half her face covered. She's very fan of the opera in that way. Maybe the fire could heat the cooker hood. Oh, yeah, maybe. You're crazy. Boiling up.

Before that, they're just filled with chocolate pebbles. Wait, what? Nubs. Nubs, yeah. What was it? Laura C? Laura B. Laura B.

Laura B. From under the ground. Laura B. She was studying to be like a paramedic or something. I bet. Laura B. Laura B. Laura B. From under the ground. Laura B. Where are you? She was studying to be like a paramedic or something. I bet.

Congratulations Laura. You're saving lives now. Welcome back everyone. It is time for our third and final topic for discussion today. Brenda Brechad. Won't you tell us what it is? Okay. So, I know I don't think this has been discussed before, but my topic is what body hair gets in the bunker.

Oh, that's amazing. That's great. I thought you'd enjoy it. That's the kind of observation that could only come from listening to 67 episodes of this show, which is almost like 130 hours of content. Look, I used to live quite far from the city, So it was a good driving to and from the gig. I love there are people that I know that have stopped driving as much. And they're like, I never listened to your show anymore.

Because as soon as you don't have, but we're just here for the long drives. That's what that's a great way to. We're just here to chew up your valuable life. Absolutely. But if you're listening and you're having your long haul right now, long haul. We're so glad to be with you. Oh yeah.

Long haul. Long haul. If you've got a long haul, have you got a long stage haul? Any kind of haul really. A haul. Any haul you've got, we want it. And we want it long. We want to fill your hole with our podcast.

That's, oh, that's so nice. Okay. That can be the tagline. So body hair. Yes. Moustache. Beard. Snail trail.

Treasure trail. Is it snail trail or treasure trail? Welcome mat. Welcome mat. Welcome mat. Ass hair. Yeah. Back hair. Toe hair. Toe hair. Welcome Matt. Welcome Matt. Yep. Ass hair. Yeah. Back hair.

Toe hair. Toe hair. Leg hair. Knuckles. Pit hair. Nipple hair. Nose hair. Ear hair.

Ear hair. Eye hair. Back of the neck hair. Nape hair. Head hair. Eyebrows. Eyelash. Mm.

So many. Pubic hair. Arm hair? Yeah. Do we say that? Yeah. I have gone, I've just spent the week editing photos of myself for the looks that I've been putting on.

Or editing out your arm hair? No. I hit a point where I was like, I'm not, you know what? I have arm hair. I was meant to ask you, did you have underarm hair in the... Yes. I thought you did. I was like, I love that. I think because my underarm hair is blonde, it didn't really cause a stink or a stir.

No one was like, ugh. No one was like, oh, she's not shaved. It was like, happened fast enough. Yeah. But I was like, so ready to be like, yeah, I have, no one cared. They saw your beer. They saw you drinking beer. They did see me. Hmm.

Yeah. It's amazing what people pick up and what they miss. I know. No one brought up me walking into that back room behind Max and Freya while they're having that conversation. Like, you know, I was walking constantly back and forth through the, the pit crew door. No. Yeah. Were you? Yeah, because they put all my shit back there. Oh the pit crew door. No.

Yeah. Were you? Yeah, because they put all my shit back there. Oh, that's right. It's like just a utility closet, but it was like pretty funny. Remember they lost someone's stuff. They lost Kana's, one of Kana's things because they shoved it all back there. Yeah.

She was so mad. She was. I would have been pissed. Livered. Well, because you, I hated coming back in the morning and people had moved things. You like- Well, me and Mandy were set up right by those double doors that they moved every day to get the cream cam in. Yeah. That's actually- my spot was the best spot in the room. It really was. I chose- Because it was out of the drama.

The worst spot. And no one ever- like, they rarely asked me to move my shit, which was really nice. They did constantly ask you to clean it up. Yeah, I remember all of them like pleading with them being like, can you just please like tidy it up a little bit? I didn't come on this show to clean. And you'd be like, I did! And they'd like get so tired of asking, they'd be like, oh, can we just like tidy it up a little bit? And you're like, I don't see the problem.

I mean, I'm a drag queen. That's what it looks like. You want the reality in this show or not? That's what you look like. Yeah. So I like armpit hair. I do like cubes. They're great.

Yeah. I think growing up, I was self-conscious about having a bath mat. Is that the back? Oh, you meant like an actual mat? They're great. Yeah. I think growing up, I was self-conscious about having a bath mat. Is that the back? Oh, you meant like an actual mat? And I was like, oh, that's my ex-boyfriend would call it his tail. Wait, which part's the back, the welcome mat? Yeah. Yeah.

Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, so now every time I'm like, oh, it's a little tail. Hmm. A tail. Was he half demon?

No, it wasn't like, it was just the back hair. Back hair. No, the back hair. It was cute. But I always thought like it was the beginning of being very, very hairy, but my back isn't hairy at all. It's just the little, little bachman. I think that like, we're hopefully moving, I mean, I don't know.

I think we're hopefully moving towards an era where people embrace whatever amount of hair they do or don't have. I think we're there. Like, I still hear some random people that are like, why is this person, like, I guess your husband. Thomas, if you're listening. If you, and I know you are. He is. And I just hope you know that it doesn't matter. Look, yeah, I am.

I'm like extremely hairy and I always knew I was going to be because my dad is like a gorilla. Pull up in the Sri Lanka. He's like a gorilla, but I was always like so self-conscious of it growing up and I would like do anything to. Shy away. Yeah. And like I was I would like try and wax it with like duct tape and stuff. Well, the amount of times I burnt myself with that. Like, oh, because you also have sensitive skin.

I have really sensitive skin. You've got the Scottish sensitive skin. Yes. And then you've got the hair of a Sri Lankan man. Incredible. Well, like shaving it for drag is like a nightmare. Yeah. And like the least amount of times I have to do it. Did you do it for drag is like a nightmare. Yeah. And like the least amount of times I have to do it.

Did you do it for drag race? I did, yeah. I even shaved my eyebrows for drag race, remember? Oh yeah. They've come back nicely. Yeah, they grew up really, I thought they would cause like my hair is very abundant. Unstoppable, yeah. But yeah.

But yeah, I shaved my chest for drag race. But the thing is like, I'll shave it once and then three days later, it'll be like growing back and it'll all be just like really irritated and stuff. And it's just like, oh, what is the, why am I doing this to myself? I remember getting really upset at my boyfriend being like, when he shaved his chest without me, like, no. Oh. Because he was like, I don't know, I was just being silly. Does he have a hairy chest? Yeah, yeah, because he was like, I don't know. I was just being silly. Does he have a hairy chest? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I was like, that's so, why did you take this thing away from me?

That I love. That's my favorite thing. I do love a hairy chest. Absolutely. Police that body. Absolutely. Yeah, he's yours. That's it.

It's my property, Zelda. You know? And you can't make sudden changes without consulting the co-owner. Co-owner. Yeah. True. Yeah. Yeah.

Do you not agree? Oh no. I do disagree. Anyway. I hate it. Don't just shave things out of your head. No, don't own him. What else am I meant to do? I hate it. Don't just shave things out of their hair. No, don't own him.

What else am I meant to do? Bone him. I love you hairy or shaved and irritated. If he'd asked, I would have said that. But I was just so aghast. It was just the shock of like, oh, I didn't know that was happening. And also I would have been like, oh, but don't do it. Please don't do that.

Wow. I don't know, but what's the best? I think the snail trail. Snail trail is so hard. I do love that. That's just like an early, like, uh, like early coming into yourself sort of thing is like that was such such a PGMA moment. It's simultaneously kind of just a stomach, but it's also loaded with, where is it going?

Well, there's hair there. There's hair around your dick. So now I'm thinking about your dick. Exactly. I remember there was an Orlando Bloom poster in my friend's room, and that was very... And it's also just like, it's just, yeah, like you said, like there's so much, this promise to it. It's like there's more.

That's it. Snail down there. It's the promise. That produces a hairy trail. Where's that slime going? Oh God, man. Don't get involved. What?

I love, like, pits. Yeah. It's so hot. That's it. I feel like we're definitely in our pit era. Mmm. Brad? Spike? Spike.

Acid. Love all the pits. Vato acid, please. Is it a pit or is it a vat? But yeah, pit hair is hard. I remember like when I was like probably 14, 13, 14, like just starting to like notice things, you know, notice boys and stuff. And because my brother was like, three years older than me. Oh no. And like whenever his friends, whenever like his friends would come over. Oh my God.

Fucking hell. They were like, whenever his friends would come over and stuff, I'm like, I'd always be like, oh my God, they've got Harry Pitt. And I'd be like, that's so... Yeah. Yeah. You know what else I used to love is like, like veiny hands. I fucking love that. Veiny hands.

Veiny hands and veiny forearms. Oh, like when they pop out here. That's so hot. You're not talking about like, withered old lady. No. No, no. That's how I'm going. Like, rich, like very... Muscular.

Yeah, muscular. Not like, come to me, my child. Really jacked, thin skin, the pull of aged veins. No, we're talking about virile men. Yeah. You know what I love is... So much blood pumping through them, bursting out. That's right, like CJ.

It's just popping out of their skin. CJ. Oh God, he's so hot. Is he hot? Yeah. We know. But now, I can show you a photo. I found one photo of him from the place where he works.

We'll be the judge of the- Yeah. He works at Baker's Delight. Actually we were colleagues back in the day. I really want to do a Baker's Delight spot number after this. Now I just think that song has so much promise. And you're like, Mike, intro will be like, I was a baker as a child. I'll be lip syncing to Brenda talking.

And yeah, the intro will be like, remember when you worked at coffee club and she's like, no. I really thought I'd done something. My mom and I used to go to Baker's Delights when I was a kid and we'd like collect all the bread and the delights. We also go to Mayas. Baker's Delights. It was the sequel.

James Cameron was like, I'm going to make you so much money. We used to go to a few different Baker's Delight. It was the sequel. James Cameron was like, I'm gonna make you so much money. We used to go to a few different Baker's Delights. Yeah. And we used to like collect all the bread that they didn't sell the end of the day and like put it in those big like- and put it in drag bags, you know, drag bags. And then like we'd give it to this like charity organization. Oh, that's wholesome. Dun dun dun dun. And then sometimes if I was...

If I was lucky, I'd get to sneak a little finger bun. Hahaha. We do not have said any cuisine other than finger bun. Hahaha. It didn't have to be finger bun. I loved finger bun. If I'm lucky. Me and mother used to go. Would a custard filled bun be better? Mother and I used to go to the baker's delights

and we'd fetch all the bread that they weren't going to sell for the poor and we'd give it to the poor but if I was a good little boy, mother would let me have a finger bun. Yes, and I'd fetch myself a finger bun and I'd devour it quite quick, isn't it? And then my brother and his friends were home, and they're musculat over hand. I was quite a baker at the time, and I would observe the hairy armpit, of course. Why have I painted this picture of my childhood for you?

I'd show a fresh tray of cake pops. Then my boyfriend would come over. He was a 33 year old accountant, of course. No, he owned a post office. No, he didn't. And I get to- We had terrible things in store, but I did- No, we went on buying journeys.

We went to Rome, to Paris, to look for new things, to outfit his post office. I sound like the biggest freak on the show. We lived in Berwick and it was the jewel of the South. Old Berwick. Old Berwick, of course. It's funny because it's all true. I sound like such a strange individual.

I don't think you're allowed to put all the facts of your life together like that. It is quite in-demand. And it's like, and these days, oh, well, I saw Wicked twice in two days. I don't appreciate this slander. I did not come on this program to be slandered. I mean, you listen to it. Yeah, you program to be slander. We have to listen to it. Yeah, you said you'd just slander each other. So I like knee hair.

I think I, you know what I love? Like not just hairy legs, but like, hair. Like I like it when it's like, when there's no gap of like, sparseness from like here down. Yeah. And a hair, like a hairy ass too. Yeah. Like a fuzzy.

I like it always. Yeah. Wherever it may be. Mm-hmm. Well, that's the thing though, it's just like how quickly does it go abject? You know what I mean? And that's the terrifying thing about hair is that it becomes terrifying in certain circumstances. Like if you find just hair in your drain pipe or like these things where the hair is.

Yeah. When it like, I think it's when it comes off the body. That's when it's like, yeah. One of the things I miss about my long hair is pulling it from the drain. That was so good. Oh, you liked that. Oh, but yes. See, I never grew up with any, like, I mean, my mother was a female in the house,

but we didn't, I didn't have any sisters. So there was never any like in my shower, at least there was no long hair in there. No long hair. Okay. Well, I'm going to say snail trail is my vote. Snail trail is quite good. Zelda, what's your vote? Oh there. No long hair. Okay, well, I'm gonna say Snail Trail is my vote. Snail Trail is quite good. Zelda, what's your vote?

Oh, yeah, I'm so down for that. So does that mean that the only body hair allowed in the bunker, everyone just has a Snail Trail and nothing else? Especially Gwyneth. Oh. So everyone's just like smooth as a dolphin everywhere else? No. That feels unfair.

No. I think it was the minute thing. Okay, so it's just adding it onto everyone. No, no. If you were naked in the bunker, there would be like soft lighting around your snail trail. So that we can see it. It's like what's emphasized. It gets the most respect and honor. Yeah, it's like, oh. I don't know.

That is us. I think that I can't- we can't let ourselves off that easily. I think it has to be one. That's the question that Brenda has posed. We're allowing one. I was envisioning it as like if that like the body hair that's going in the bunker, everyone would have it and they wouldn't have anything else. Yeah. And I think that that's. But I don't, I don't think head hair is.

No, we've already got plenty of hairstyles. I don't think that's, that's not body hair. So I think, I think I would say anything on the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can have everything else shaved, but chest hair or. A pair of hairy titties would be iconic. Or maybe pubes. Big bush. I do like a bush. Well, I mean, if it's snail trail, it goes into bush.

Can we say that? Snail trail. Everyone's got a snail trail and a bush. No, snail trail into bush. It has to be one... Snail bush. Not and into. Yes, and.

Because it's all connected in that region. It like doesn't stop. Snail trail into bush. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's great. Shall we lock it in? I think so.

Three, two, one. Snail trail into bush. That's my bush. That's my bush. That's my line. Okay. Okay. Brenda, you got a freebie. What are you putting in?

Okay, so I'm going to ask a favour. If my freebie can be not taking something out, but taking an element of something out. Oh, you warned me about this the other week. Go on. Say more. So we did mention her earlier, but the iconic Bayonetta is in the bunker. She is.

And so I grew up- Her glasses. Give it to me. How did you know? Wait, what? What? Oh my God. Oh my God.

Wait, I was joking. When me, I would, like when I was growing up, my God. I was joking. When me, I would like when I was growing up, I played like Super Smash Bros. all the time and me and my best friend growing up, Jackson, we'd play Smash all the time. And I think the funniest thing that I always found, because I never played the Bayonetta games, but the funniest thing that I always found was like Bayonetta was this incredible witch. She had all these magical powers.

She could turn her clothes into like whatever the fuck she could shoot guns from her feet she could go. Gotcha and turn someone into like slow motion. She's British yeah and she goes what's another one she's got another fun line. Ta ta yeah isn't that great. And I always found it she had all these powers but the the one thing she couldn't control was that astigmatism in her eyes. She was like, I will turn myself invisible for a second and turn into a bat, but- Glasses. I've got- I'm ever so blurry without these.

Yes. So I would ask, are we able to remove those glasses? And- Wow. So I would ask, are we able to remove those glasses? And I think it would be so funny if she's just walking the halls and then all of a sudden you just hear this like- And it's just Bayonetta walking into another wall. She's just hit the side of the oceanarium. She's walked into it because she- Boom!

Yeah, just a big boom. Walking into like the steel panels or whatever. And whenever you- Whenever late at night you hear a big clang, it's like, ah, there's Netta again. She's walked into something else. The worst thing about this is how fucking smug Lazy Susan is right now. To know how, like, funny that is. I just- I think that our guests are allowed to do whatever they want.

They are. Yay! They are. They are. So Bayonet is going to be glasses-less. Yeah. Glasses-less. Glasses-less.

Wow. From now on. Yeah. I'd like to think they've just been taken from her and snapped in front of her. And she's just like, you know, when she dies and she does that, that sound, she does that as someone snaps her glasses in her. How do you feel about that, Zelda? I think, I mean, I think it's quite cruel, really.

But I think one day a week she's allowed contacts. Oh, big. So she's got one day a week where she can see. Yeah. And she's got to get all her admin done in that one day. Thursday. Before she's blurry again for the next six days. Oh my god.

I like that. Just on Thursdays. So evil. Just on Thursdays. Just on Thursdays. I like that. No, no contacts on Thursdays. Oh.

Fridays. Yeah. Just no contacts on Thursdays. Oh. Friday. Yeah, just no contacts on Friday. On the viewing party days. Thursdays? Yeah, you know, sorry if you're a new listener, but we only have Thursdays in the bunker. But, well, so say is the breast? Yes, that is your lasting legacy. Yay!

Those glasses have been snapped into what, thrown into the abyss? I think they're thrown into a stage hole and they go... And like, you just hear... I'm regretting putting that in. Yeah, you hear Laura being like, oh! One of the- and it's like, for the first time that she brings out Coco Hocho, there's just little bits of glasses in them. Some people get some cuts in their throat.

Yeah. It's also funny, because the glasses are so ugly. They are. They're disgusting little like butterfly. Also that stupid headdress that she wears. I like it when she's got the Meryl Streep hair. You've ruined the others lives. Where she's got like white hair and she's wearing red and she looks like Meryl Streep in, in Devil Wears Prada.

It's been a great podcast. Okay. We really have only played the Smash Brothers games. Okay. I did say that. I did. Haunting reality. But, so be it.

Today, Into the Bunker, we have Stage Hole with Flames. And then we have Hot Chuck O'Clock. Hot Chuck O'Clock serving Cocoa Ho-cho. Cocoa Ho-cho. Coco serving Coco Hocho by Laura B. Laura B. In the flames. In the flame hole. In the flame stage hole. And then we have everyone with the snail trail into bush.

Snail trail into bush. Into bush. Mm. And Bayonetta's glasses have been snapped in half and thrown into said stage hole. And Laura B. is traumatized. Yes. And now Bayonetta's glasses have been snapped in half and thrown into said stage hole. And Lorbe is traumatized. And now Bayonetta is going bong! Yeah. Into everything.

Okay, that's good. So rude. Oh, what a full episode. Thank you so much for coming, Brenda. Thank you for having me. It's been an absolute honor. And I, for one- I can die now.

Can't wait to see you on a season of All Stars. Oh, we'll see. Would you on a season of All Stars. Oh. We'll see. Would you do it? Yeah. Yeah, go on. I mean, I want to be one of those guys who's like, I would never go back, but of course I would.

Who wouldn't? And that's all. Sulangyur. Sulangyur to you all. Bye-bye. Bye, leg day. Bye-bye. Death Day everyone was recorded

at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. If you've got something to say to us, send it to us at deathtoeveryonepod.gmail.com. And won't you support us please? Patreon.com. We'd like to death to everyone. Bye bye. Bye bye. Bye bye.