Death To Everyone - Death To... Witchy TV Shows, Witchy Spells & Speakpipe

Episode Date: May 26, 2026

A very witchy episode with some listener mail!Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ You can send us a voicemail at ⁠www.speakpipe.com/deathtoeveryone⁠Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103⁠

Oh, I just said one. Unbelievable. Oh, my sister's just having a little cough there. Welcome to season four. Ah, yes. Welcome to season four of death to everyone. The good thing about not being on a major streamer, like Apple TV or Netflix. Yeah.

Is that we get to choose the length of our seasons. Yeah. And it really is discerned by, or discern, distinguished, decided by this story we need to tell. for that season. Yeah. And so in this case, the story we needed to tell ended with Eval in season three. It did. She was the kind of the big cliffhanger of that season.

She was the big bad. She was the, well, I didn't want to say that, but she is Eval. Well, she is a walking hellmouth. And she has seen her grande profile. Some things get trapped in there. Like us for a week. Do you know that man who became famous on Twitter? Twitter because of his gaping hole.

You know, and he's got a very pleasant, like, you know, all-American boy. Ooh, the one where then it, like, gapes when he, like. Gaping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then, like, I saw recently on Twitter. And it makes the, like, it makes the Nutragrine high. Yes, yes. It felt like, actually, yeah.

And he's got this, like, very, like, yeah, just sweet, twinkly phase. not like Twinkly, like sparkling, like Twinkly, twink-esque. And someone posted like a series of pictures with him just like in his day-to-day drag, like him just going for a hike. Yeah. Him smiling at camera while he's like, you know, on vacation. And then people are like, no, but for real, I would be with this guy. He's so cute.

Yeah. And then beneath that, someone commented, yeah, but when you're asleep at night, you'd have to listen to his asshole. snoring next to you. What is wrong with people? And then someone else was like, bitch, you're going to fall in. Yeah.

I'm like, he just has a gaping hole. Let him be. Easier said than done when it's coming right for you. Snicking up on you. When you think everything's okay, but everything turns out wrong. Yeah. It turns out you're being sucked into a gaping hole.

Yeah. But good storage. Well, yes. Yeah. Yeah. What are you keeping in the gaming hole? Well, if you ever want to travel and you have cocaine. Oh.

Maria full of Grayson. Have you purchased any skims lately? Oh, I saw this scandal. It was all over the news. So tell me the details. I mean, I don't care of the details very often. But a delivery truck. Kim Kardashian.

brand skims formerly called kimono kimono yeah yeah I'm saying yeah all right yeah

some truck in Europe was driving somewhere with a heap of skims and the truck was special built with like false walls in the doors and had a lot of cocaine in there apparently nothing to do with Kim or schemes imagine if that like

truck went off the side of a cliff and fell and, you know, its contents were spread across the road and a bunch of feverish Zelda moons ran up and picked the whole, like, leaving the dry. I need the nipple bra. And there was just a pile of cocaine left after you ran away with all the skims products. Yeah, I could give a fuck about the cocaine, but... Give me that nabal. Yes. There was like... I love my nipple bra. Recently, you know, in South America, there was a cocaine truck, and on the inside they were packing it were just skims. You get it past Zelda. It's a checkpoint.

They had to hide the nipple bras and doors. Open that up. Open that up. This is just cocaine. Get this away from me until you have a skims bra. Yeah. You know what I realized? And I don't know why I choose to say this on air. But we should have contacted Vanity to ask her to give us wigs.

For witchy girls or for life? For which. Well, why not both? But like not give. But like we could have done like a sponsor. sponsorship partnership thing. Do you think Vanity gives a shit? No, but I just wanted an excuse to get in her DMs.

Hey Vanity, it's me, Zelda. Remember? I gave you that magnets that you didn't want. Yeah. I paid for her beer. It was like 6 a.m. If Vanity had to remember or speak to everyone who's ever paid for her beer, she wouldn't have enough hours than a day to be honest.

I just love her. Did you see the share week that they announced today? Did you see Fina Barbatol styling the cut? your wig for hacks. Oh no. It's so good. Get on her socials. Okay. Because she's been doing these ASMR wig styling videos. She's like, for the French twist, I'll start with this wigs by vanity. And then I will do, and like, I like to use this brand of pin. It's grippy and it does the job. That's important. Now I'm going to use this playable hairspray to start guiding. this twist in the back.

And it's like so addictive. She does good. That's good. Our girl. Good. Feina Babiature. Phena. Anyway.

Anyway, I'm Zelda Moon. And I'm lazy Susan. And who's that giggling behind the wheel? Father of two. It's matches. It happened. Yes. We had a baby.

You had a baby. Congratulations. Musseltove. Thank you. Don't count me. Baby. Now, do you think? I think life feels different, having brought two lives into the world?

Yeah, I feel more powerful, leveled up. Yeah? Yeah, no, I've actually leveled down, I think. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a lot much sleep. Well, we don't want you to get distracted by your family. Pulled you into our vortex.

Yeah. Yeah, as you were saying the other day, my real children need me. Exactly. I don't want to hear anything else. Now that, you know, there's not a pregnancy or anything. I don't want to hear anything else. The baby's fine. Babies.

Yeah. I called him Miro. Cute. Wait, Nero. Yeah. I thought it was Miro. M. Oh, yeah.

M. Yeah. That's so exciting. What a cute name. Yeah, he's cute. Yeah. He looks very squishy still. Looks a bit groggy.

Yeah. Most of the time. I can imagine that. And he hasn't said anything yet. So waiting for that to happen. Rude. I know. Thank you.

Have you asked him anything? Yeah, exactly. I've asked him everything. Okay. Well, I mean, he is also going to take. take over your manor one day as your sire. That's right, the sun. Yeah, my daughter's not going to get much, so. No, no. Jesus. What? Doesn't trust. That's tradition, Zelda. Oh, good. Yeah. Um, how fun. Yeah. But I missed your coven night. Actually, he came on the night of the coven.

Yeah. Yeah, well, the next day. Well, the morning, yeah, just, at 1 a.m. just after the witching hour. Yeah. Um, I felt like the energy was bringing him into the world. Absolutely. We were... You were doing some spells for him. Yes. We casted many spells that night.

Mostly one to get pizza. I love that pizza. How did it go? I missed it, obviously. I was like, witchy girls screening night or birth. I had to choose. And you made the wrong choice.

And your choice. He made it both. Yeah, so the second viewing party for witcher girls went quite well. episodes three and four made their pre-release debut. It was very fun. We did silly little bits. We had improvers join us. I danced with a straight man and bent him over in front of 150 people.

Oh my God, I forgot about that. Is that what was that Trent? Yeah. Oh, poor Trent. Oh, my God. Like, Hamish, if you're listening, thank you so much. He was such a treasure to work with on the show and now post-show. And what a good dancer.

Yes. He's got a natural player. He was born to play that role. Yeah, truly. Like, actually, though. Sorry to the person who dropped out just before. That was almost the role. Well, they dropped out.

It's their fault. No, exactly. No, it was very, the Hamish origin story was like, it was very, very stressful just before. Because we were like literally three days away from shooting. And the person who we'd queued up. wasn't able to do it I think the agent had told them that they're not allowed to do that

and so we were like really up shit creek without a paddle and so then we were like fuck are we getting and then incredibly the kind of perfect man showed up yeah this is why we need to do director's commentary

for the show for the DVD release this kind of thing would be so fun for people to hear I'm sure you're kidding people would quit their jobs to hear it Now, what about this? Have you seen any rock chicks out in the world, lazy?

Well, to any people who attended the Coven screening, we, in episode three, are obsessed with having a pink strip in your hair. Yeah. Because we want to be rock chicks for killing Heidi. Yeah. And as such, we made merchandise to sell on the night, which was the rock chip hair clip.

Yeah. so other people could really get into the fun of the show. Some of my friends purchased that hair clip. Thank you for supporting the hands. And on one of them, Tan, if you're listening, God damn, that looks so good in your hair. It was outrageous. What about for the bold friends?

Yeah, well, they can stick it on. So you do you have bald friends now? Oh, well, yeah, I do. Zelda, you can be really inventive as to where you clip that hair clip. And I saw it pinned into someone's beard I saw it pinned in as a rat tail That was cute There were many, so many such variety

You could put it on a pet, family pet Yes I actually have seen that Oh see? Yeah The rock chick hair clip is only $5 and we do still have some left So you can purchase it Can you put it on a one week old baby I would suspect

But the protective services might have something Yes, yeah. Because, like, not because of the hair clip itself, just because introducing a child to the rock lifestyle that young. Yes. You know. Let them ease in. Yeah.

Well, we've already been playing him, killing Heidi every day. The very funny thing that we haven't been able to tell yet because the episode hadn't come out is that, so Ella Hooper is, like, the number one champion of the show. She has been so incredibly gracious, and she's also the lead singer of the band, Killing Heidi. Yes. Which is crazy because I think if you had told me when I was in high school listening to like we are.

Yeah. That like one day you would have like a very personal, lovely relationship with this woman. And like, yeah. So she has been the champion of the show. The whole episode that has her in it is about us trying to get tickets to go and see her at the Epiphany Civic Center. Yes. And then like a week before the episode comes out, Ella, who's got a new album coming out, which is Western-themed or country.

Country Western. Country. She was having like an interview in a publication and the headline was like, the region Ella Hooper has never been a rock chick. And the whole episode is that being like, I would have been a rock chick because of Ella Hooper. And we say rock chick maybe 25,000 times. So it must have been in her head when they were having. this conversation and she's like, I'm not a rock chick, fuck you.

Yeah. It's like, oh, sorry, Ella. Sorry, we called you a rock chick every time. Why didn't she say something? I don't think she knew she didn't want to be a rock chick until we called her a rock chick thousand times. And we dressed as those rock chicks and she probably was like, oh. Well, actually, your character doesn't ever dress as a rock chick.

True. I never get a rock chick hair clip. Well, because I was, when I was designing the packaging for the rock chick hair clip, I was like, oh, well, we should both be on it because that's like, and then I was like, well, canonically, Susan is the rock chick with the alluring pink stripper in her hair and Zelda is the friend of the rock chick. Yes, big stripper hair. Oh my God, should we have done accompanying merch that's a friend of and it's just an empty bag? Yes, maybe we can, there's still time. There's still time.

$75 a packet. Yes. Yeah, well, it's, you know. It's limited. And the other thing we did was, I had just, oh no, that episode hasn't come out yet, I won't destroy it. Episode four came out two days ago. Oh, yes, okay, amazing.

So episode four, yeah, we just did like gorgeous little like back of seat vomit bags. Yes. For the viewing of that. Which was so fun and very like in keeping with it. Like John Waters has done vomit bags and things before. And I was like, oh, this could be our playful homage to that. kind of cinema-going experience and then plain up forgot that they were on the seats and didn't tell people to take grab them but people have sticky fingers they found them yeah yeah

which i love yeah oh that was such fun but yeah was a really good night and listener in two days we have the preview and final screening of episodes five and six and then this sunday coming episode five will go up on youtube but fear not because of course this thursday sold out But at time of recording, we've just announced a finale finale final screening, which will be all six episodes on the 5th of June Friday. So that might not have sold out yet. The whole damn thing. The whole damn thing.

Which would be great. Yeah. We love the whole damn thing. Yeah. I think it would be really cute. It's going to be more of a like, I mean, it's still a comedy republic, but like with a big cinema screen kind of vibe in the center of the stage. Yeah.

We're not selling any of the side seats for that one. Because it's going to be emotionally. Yeah. Watching and laughing. And having a laugh with friends. And we need to figure out popcorn. Hot corn. Hot corn.

Hot corn. How do you sell that? Okay. That's enough of that. How are you? Are you okay? Oh, me? Yeah.

Yeah, I'm good. That was the end of the story. What did you do with your season break? In my season break, I, well, thank you for asking. Cross the season break. Cyclops was announced for Marvel rivals. So I'm pretty excited about that. Jesus.

Are you still playing that fucking game? This is the year of Scott Summers. Are you aware of this? He was just announced for rivals. He was just announced for Cosmic Invasion. He is, I think, going to have quite a pivotal role in Doomsday. Oh, God. And season two of X-Men 97.

Yeah. And he's finally wearing the blue and yellow spandex. And what do we do now? well who knows but it's a near endless it feels like we're at the end it never ends it actually never ends nah it never ends but I think it's ending

yeah I'm excited for that because Scott's such a babe but I started listening to that going rogue podcast that you recommend the sister yeah it's so fun if you are looking for another podcast which you would never do Of course.

But there's a show by an Australian podcasterist, Tensie Garden. Gardem? Garden? Sure. I don't know. Called Going Rogue, which initially started talking about the film, the Rogue One. And then also talking about the Han Solo film. And just talking about the production issues faced in the kind of making of these films,

which is like a really interesting thing, even if you're not particularly like into the Star Wars universe. because it's like really deep in the weeds on like just how Disney kind of started accelerating the production of Star Wars films, why things felt so bizarre, who was involved in like these huge decisions and yeah. Yeah, it's all very interesting because you kind of think that when there's like so much money and time and anticipation on the line that it's really like you have a bit more luxury. But it doesn't seem like that.

at all. It seems like it's incredibly stressful. Even like I've only, I think I'm into episode three, which is still very early days for like the Rogue One analysis of it all. But yeah, I think it's quite interesting because I know all the Star Wars of it all. Like everything that she's referring to, I know exactly what she's talking about, which I think is quite interesting because you presumably weren't across that. But it works on in both. both ways. But for me listening to it, and she seems to be presenting a very like, kind of unbiased and just like very, these are just the events as they occurred. Yeah. Kind of perspective.

But yeah, it's so interesting hearing the ambitions how they didn't happen and how they've been adapted. Yes. Like George Lucas has very, very expensive TV show that he wanted to make. That was just like far too expensive to ever be greenlit. And then all those ideas. slowly being plucked for this project and this project down the line. Yeah. Which like makes sense because like if they were great ideas, then if they can't be in their original form, why not repurpose them?

Yeah. But where that really works and where it doesn't. But also the reviews have just started to come out for the Mandalorian and Grogu, which listener at time of recording came out in Australia yesterday. And I'm dragging lazy Susan to watch today. but wow it sounds terrible it sounds so bad i heard that it was like people like it's just like a long episode of the tv show which is not what a movie is yeah um and i'm so curious to see it because again that the development of that seems to be this like grand endeavor that's then been like heavily

scaled back down um and it's coming at the end of the like Kathleen Kennedy era of Star Wars and Rogue One and that podcast kind of talks to the beginning of that era it's all just really really really interesting and just how yeah like when you're when you have people trying to tell like an artistic like contribute in an artistic way

to a machine that only exists to earn money where that can happen and where it like absolutely cannot happen. And like the ambitions are often in like the really creative and storytelling realm. And then the reality of reality is the like ticket sales realm. It's just, oh. Yeah. And they just don't match up.

Not always. And also it's the people that want to make the decisions about what will eventually make money are oftentimes the people that maybe don't have a sense of, like what that could be like it's like we don't know what a pure like unadulterated Star Wars experience that's unencumbered by like producers coming in to like fuck with things looks like so we'll never know whether that performs well at the box office because inevitably they always get gun tried just before it comes out and try and fuck with it in 10 different ways to try and fix problems that are maybe not there maybe

are there? Like the sort of thing of like, what, what does the Star Wars film look like when it's just a creator going and doing whatever the fuck they want? Has never, like, except for the original, has never existed. Yeah. And when that film was being, when it was coming out originally, like, the very first Star Wars film, like, people were like, no, no, no, no one wants this anymore. No one wants, like, space things, like, Flash Gordon is over.

like this is like we're done. There's no scope for this. Yeah. This is cheesy. And so it's like in the same thing like when you have executives like studio executives from Disney and stuff who they only have the existing understanding to go off. So they only know what's done well in the past. So they can by virtue of that never kind of predict the next thing that's going to go big

and we'll never make it as a result. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we won't get another Star Wars from those people. because they're so like, well, we can't do that. It doesn't make money because we've never seen it make money before. Yeah, because it's never. Yeah, inevitably you have to do something new to be the like big thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, so interesting. Yeah. And I just want Sogorney to be good, but I just don't know if it will be Segoony good or not. Chagorni good. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So.

So. That's what you've been doing? Yeah. Thinking about Star War. gone by yourself a Star War. Yeah. Haven't seen my

blue tongue in a while. I'm sad. I suppose it's the change of season. Everything turn, turn, turn, hmm. Yeah,

but my life has just been working, working drags. Okay, we've got to cut the mic before she says something depressing. How I've just been.

A series of disappointment. Well, what is it? What do you think you're going to get from the cinema today to drink. Oh my God, I'm going to get a big Coke and a big popcorn. You're crazy.

Yeah. Maybe even a chock top. And a sick bag. A chock top, a huge popcorn and a drink. Maybe. Oh, this girl, she's crazy. Yeah. I don't get where you get the big popcorn.

You never finish it. Yeah, but I like options. And I'd like the option to finish it. But you've never seen you finish a lot. No, there have been times. You've never finished a large popcorn. You probably would finish a small, to be honest. There's usually a smaller or medium amount

taken out of your popcorn. You don't need that. There would probably be the same amount left in a smaller medium. Yeah, if you gave her three kernels, she'd have like one and a half. That's enough, don't want to be greedy, catch. She liked to have a little left in the bottom.

Yeah, just in case. Well, exactly, so you could do that with a little small. No, because then I will run out, and I don't want to run out. Okay. Food waste. No. This is what it is.

This is consumerism gone, run am up. You know what's always empty by the end. What? My Coke? Yeah, that wasn't coming for the Coke. I know you like to get a giant bucket of Coke and just go. Tidious little soaps. Like a little gopher in your cage, licking that steel ball.

Well, I have to wash down my slowly pecked-up popcorn. Anyway, what are you going to get at the Ganderber? I don't know. if they have a frozone, I might get a a frozone drink. Oh, yeah. But the thing I hate about that is you don't actually get to enjoy the whole beverage. By the time you get to the end, you've sucked all the syrup out of

those ice crystals. And that's what's left is like sleet, like New York sleet. Yes. Like brown-colored sleet. You don't give it a constant mix? I do give it a constant mix. Of course, this is my first day on fucking but I do give it a constant mix and it's still

you know, even in a constant mix sort of situation. Giving. But you know what? I'm not, I just, can I, I'm going to be candid with you. Please. I just don't think that the offering is tantalizing at the candy bar in Australia. Uh-huh. Why is that all there is?

Could we not have rotating, tantalizing delights? Yeah. I mean, when I, my best, Candibur experience was in Japan when I saw Skyfall Where it was half regular popcorn, half caramel. So that's fun. And it like had a little divider. And then the chairs had little spot

Because like obviously everyone's getting a popcorn at a fucking giant drink. And it had melded spots for it in your little shelf. Like a square cup holder for your popcorn. That's good. to The Lido recently to go and see that awful film obsession, I got Natchos. Natchos? I love Natchos at the cinema.

Wow. Is that the one? Could you get a steak? You probably could. Where was that cinema? It's at the Lido opposite Glen Ferry Station in Hawthorne. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah. But yes, they have like, and that place is fun.

And they often have, like, it's, were you, like, did we go and see Skinnerink there? Were you there? No. Anyway, it's a fun. time you can get wine. It feels more like a bar. There's nachos.

There's also popcorn. The popcorn isn't as good. But the nachos, so good. I went to a newish cinema recently in like maybe Brunswick East or something with Simon. Duwa. Doa. And we got nachos delivered. And it arrived, you know, a portion of the way.

Maybe it was dark. So I couldn't see the nachos to know if there was cheese. I couldn't see the nachos to like dig out a perfect blend. I don't know that it's ever dark enough that you can't see. And then I'm like, where is my, I can't see my mouth. I'm in a dark cinema. Like it was just the worst food to eat in the cinema because it's finger food. Yeah.

That fuels my fear of bugs, like eating bugs. Like when I can't see my food, I'm like, this could be full of bugs. Wow. That scares me. But you know what? Listen, we can't solve fake problems. and both of you are crazy

I see my head on the wall as I was rolling my head back in disgusting guffawing I just don't know what film you're seeing where the entire cinema is so dark that you can't see It wasn't anything

Like it's like you can see enough You can see like Imagining Zelda sitting in the cinema No movie playing Just in the dark having dinner I just came here for the nachos. Just watching one of those like footage they show where it's like night vision goggles on the cinema. And Zeld was like looking pissed off.

Like feeling around for the nachos and like missing her mouth three times. This is the worst restaurant I've ever been to. Yes. Well, maybe this thing is just not for you. I think we'd also bought in wine and like Simon was so confidently like refilling his like little cup. Yes. And I was...

Illegal wine. Yes. You guys are crazy. Like, we were 15 years old. Why were you drinking wine? I don't know. You were just trying to be cool like Simon. I was.

So anyway, I also had a mini bottle of wine. You got a separate bottle. Yes. The Zelda bottle. Yes. That's crazy. Did you get peer pressured? Yes.

Well. And, but me trying to like crouch forward and open the bottle and then pour it in so no one It was, I was so stressed. I can see why you like the popcorn Coke combo now. Yeah, you're like, like after that experience. Yeah, it's approved. You need. It's approved by me and it's approved by there.

Familiar, familiar situation. All the other thing I'd like at the snack bar would be a Sunday bar. Sunday. Oh, like soft serve. If they gave me a soft serve and then I could go and put my own mini M&Ms on it. You want Froyo at the cinema? I don't want, I don't want, but I do want that. But I don't want, I want it to be soft so, so it still feels like I'm at a cinema.

Cinema. I don't want to feel like I'm at a diet bar like I'm at the gym. If it was a yochie, I would be like. You feel like you're at the gym. Yeah, that's true. God, I'm at the gym right now. Why are the fat palm? I'm getting the lightbows.

It's just too healthy. You're so right. Yeah. You're so right. It's like when they try and sell a fro-your-bois-bois-berry thing at the cinema and I'm like this is not the place for this we come to this place to dream

but also if there was hot fudge and I could have it with hot fudge you know some like slivered almonds and I could like eat that during the movie put a bit of popcorn on there popcorn on there you're crazy girl

salt and sweet but you'd be like oh god oh where's my mouth I can't see my mouth and is the fudge bite size I just want you to know, Zelda, you can never see your mouth. Hey!

Zeldia eats in front of the mirror every day. There's no human being that can see their mouth. Oh, right, gotcha. I thought you meant that I was covered in crumbs. Which this would not be true. For the dense fog of crumbs, you can't see your mouth. Oh, Zadda, you're growing a beard. No, that's just the filth.

I would like to now say that, God damn, the boy's finale was shit. Oh, well, if you're going to bitch about something, then we should be bitching about obsession. Why not both? Okay, you go. Matt, did you watch boys finale? Yeah. I've been with the boys since the start.

The boys. It's, yeah, it was a bit of an anti-climax, and it just, yeah. That show is just so fucking boring. It was so far up its own asshole. I'm sorry, but you know that you have the remote. Yeah, but imagine if I didn't. know how bad it was. It's the fallacy of sun can cost.

You've got to like, once you've committed to the first two, three seasons, you're like, I'm going to see this three now. Yes. You absolutely do not. You do sometimes. When you loved it at the start. Just rewatch the stuff you loved. But it could take a turn for the better.

Yeah. And then you'll hear about it and then you can watch it. No, because I wouldn't trust who I heard it from. It was so bad. Just, I mean, the last few seasons had been terrible. I enjoyed that first season of Gen V. Then season... That got boring.

Well, yeah, then that got... Like, I think they just, like, there's not enough, like, initial thought to then carry multiple, multiple, multiple seasons. I didn't think that you can do it. But at the same time, like, the unfortunate thing for the boys is that Invincible is doing the same thing of, like, let's tell the story of, like, if superheroes actually existed and weren't inhibited, can do whatever the fuck they want kind of thing. That show has issues too. Yes, but Invincible does it a thousand times better than the bullies.

Yeah. I mean, like having now watched Invincible. Are you up today? No. But I'm into, like, season one, very tight. Yeah. You feel like you're like really, it's really clear and its intention. And then it really struggles in season two.

Yes. to figure out what the story is now. And it recons so much of the character development stuff that is done in season one really effectively to manage to keep the dad involved in things. And it's like, no, no, no, no, he's actually sympathetic again. And you're like, no, no, no, no, you've taken this too far. Yeah.

You can't make that character sympathetic again after setting up for a whole season that he's secretly like... Calling Sandra. Oh, a pet? Yeah, like evil and like you've seen him murder people in the most gory way possible. Yeah. And then you're like, no, but he's actually getting sick and thoughts about it. You're like, that really doesn't matter if you want us to believe in the weight of these actions. Yeah.

But yeah, I was like, this is the issue with any show that runs for too long. Is it like, unless it's a sitcom, at which case, it's like you don't have to worry about as much because every episode it's intended to reset the board. and you're dealing with your comedic archetypes rather than having to develop them into new things which is kind of the issue with like so much of what's compelling about a story you know is that you get to see a character transform

but once they're transformed then what you kind of hope that they're resolved in some way you are going to hate Dragon Ball Z well see Dragon Ball Z is more of a formula than anything because it's like this person and this person they're just person they're going to find. Yeah.

I'm going to reset the board. But it is, yeah. I mean, Dragon Bulls-Z weirdly does both of those things because things do reset, but then the next big bad and everyone has to get stronger again. Yeah.

We were already the most strongest thing because that was the most powerful enemy. Yeah. Wait, no, this guy is? Okay, well, back we go. Yeah, exactly. It's crazy. But fun.

It's crazy. Also, Gokos heart and Vegeta. What about Krillin? Well, you said nothing about Krillin. So, growing up, obviously, wait, should we do? which Dragon Ball Z character gets in the bunker. I mean, I know that Android 18 is already in there.

We already know that... She's already the best character. What's his name? Yamcha? God damn, I loved him. That long hair. So hard. And then what?

And then Piccolo? Fucking hell. Piccolo is so hot. I like my man. You like Krillen? I like my man like I like my collar. coffee. Piccolo.

Tiny. Get me a piccolo. Okay. Are you aware of how hot Yomcha is? I'm not. What are you talking about? But yeah, I think shows like that managed to miraculously. Look at this guy. He's got long hair and a scar.

I think. I've bashed a head on the mic. Surrounded by madness. What about trunks when he came back with long hair and a sword? Oh my God. Everyone in that show was hot. Bulma? Oh.

Anyway, what were you saying? You're just saying names now. I think that, yeah, shows don't tend to know what to do when they get successful. And they end up crazy. And it's kind of coming back to that conversation of where commerce takes precedence over, like, just telling the story correctly. It's a huge issue. It's an issue with the whole industry. industry.

We're talking about it the other day with hacks as well. It's like that show's really funny. Hicks. But the issue that it has has to continually like reset that relationship and you're like, oh, they're fighting again. Like, I don't care. You guys resolved your issues or you don't. Like, why you fight every season?

But they need to because it's like the whole show is about like, will they be friends or won't they be friends? Wait, will they? Well, we'll never know. Oh. Yeah. Will these two. That's why search party was such a good show because every season they were like,

it's a genre that is now about this. Yeah, true. Like, different. It's a new thing. Now it's a crime thriller. Now it's it. Speaking of things that are apparently terrible, the latest season of Fromm is on. Zelda, that show has been fucking garbaggio since season one.

Yes. It's so bad. But you don't have to watch it. Yeah, but it's just good. You could watch good shows. And I do sometimes. What? I watch good shows.

Go on. Witchie girls. Yes. Everyone's been loving the witchy girls. Well, we don't have the same issues. Our show's great. Yeah. Unlike all these, all the shit piles.

Anyway, God damn from is so bad. But alas. Shall we destroy the world now? Yes. Okay. To begin, I'd just like to say that this time it's for Africa. This time's for Africa Shakira

Shakira Has just been So wronged By the people of Spain Yes She couldn't afford to give them Any of her money Well you know what she didn't do

Spent more than 184 days in Spain In 2021 Why do you know the details about this? That's how she won the tax case because you only have to pay tax in Spain if you consider a resident. Yeah. And it ticks over to resident status if you spent more than 184 days.

How many did she spend? 183? 163 or something. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. But they had to, like, go to court to prove it. Like, Shakira was here on this day, here on this day.

Oh, God, that would be stressful. Yeah. Yeah, it would be. And it really stressed her out to the point where she grew into a gigantic mechanical version of herself. like Godzilla and destroyed the whole planet. And as she was doing it, she said, this time for Africa. Or did she leave?

Did she leave Africa? No. Does she grab Africa and use it as a weapon? No. Did she kick it like football? A dagger. I think in the end, it's where she like took rest. And as she like lay back and did like a little Godzilla angel into Africa,

it didn't turn out so well. Yeah. This time for Africa. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This time on Africa. Yeah. How many times do you listen to that in a row? Many.

It's re-entered my brain, everyone. I can't escape it. And so I'll just send me a message to be like, so why can't I perform this? Can I, I, I'm not so up to date, but I, with Shakira. Yeah, perhaps I didn't give any details. What? You didn't give any context. So, but I want to know, like, yeah, tell me the story of Shakira and the World Cup.

Yeah, yeah. Okay. So Shakira. Columbia. Not from Perth. Shakira was wronged. Rumbed. So she grew giant size.

Sorry. And mechanical. And then destroyed the... She grew mechanical? Yes. How many songs? No, what I want to know is how many songs has she done for the World Cup now? Is she the only one who does songs?

She's the World Cup. I think she's added again. Because she's... She's... She's also lots of photos with... She's married to a soccer player. Well, she was married to a soccer player. Macarena Stadium.

Here is Dai Dai. Yeah, she's doing this year's official song. But she's done like four in a row, hasn't she? Probably. And I think when the Soccer World Cup went to... What is it? Zootopia. She also did that one.

When I was playing Shakira at work yesterday, I then glanced at my phone and I was like, what the fuck is this? It was like, the Shakira song from Zootopia too. She's Giselle. What? Giselle.

She's the gazelle in Zootopia, who's like a famous pop star. Is the gazelle's name, Giselle? I think so. Oh, that's... Or maybe it is just gazelle. But she's like very famous in the world of Zootopia. Interesting. Yeah, she's the in-world Shakira.

Or she's... But she's kind of more styled after Beyonce in that film. Hmm. And a gazelle, of course. Of course. can yeah no that's fine i've already had my marvel rivals talk spot for the week um i do want to say oh no no nothing about my that obsession movie and i'm so mad say

go on do you know the concept of this film nine or nothing okay a boy likes a girl what and it opens on him like trying to figure out how to talk to his crush these are the one age group they're like early 20s 1920. In 1920? In the year 1920. They live in a place in America that doesn't really exist. It's kind of like amorphous.

The whole world of the film just takes place with these friends. Does it look like Twilight? No, it's kind of giving the world of it follows. Kind of like it's a non-time, non-place. Yeah, okay. But, you know, this is a film that was made by a famous YouTuber who was in a comedy sketch duo. called Curry Booker, Curry Bach,

and he then made a famous YouTube horror film called Serial and Milk and Serial about a serial killer who kills people. And the film itself is like a low, low budget YouTube film but it became like very well liked. Obsession. Because it's like fun and, no, no, this one, but that's the film that made him like the star,

the new engino. and then he made obsession about a boy who goes to a magic shop to get this girl that he's got to crush on a new crystal necklace because she's on the phone to him talking and she's like, oh, I just dropped my crystal necklace down a hole. And he's like, oh, and so in his way to go and see her at the trivia that they do together at a pub,

he goes in a magic shop to get her a new crystal necklace And instead in Carter's The Wish Willow, a small stick that you can snap and make any wish you like. And he's like, oh, get this is a gift for her. And then he shows up to the pub trivia and he's got a crush on her. And she's the most cool girl in the world. She even gives money to homeless people. I hate this already. So what?

They're like friends, but he's into her and they spend all this time together. But she's not aware that he's got a crush. Yeah. That's too close to home. And then she's like the most beautiful girl in the world. But he's not, he's no slouch either, but you can get why he's annoying. Who's the actor? He's a guy from Teen Wolf, who's also gay in real life.

Teen Wolf? Yeah. Anyway, not that, not the main guy. Not sitting. It's not right, Zelda. Then he's like, he's about to give her the gift. She's like, I might, like, if I had a crush on a guy, I would just like, he would never know. Blah, blah, blah.

So, like, there's kind of a will they, won't they vibe. And then he doesn't end up giving her the wish, hallo, and instead just snaps the stick and says, I wish that she loved me more than anyone. And so commences the dramatic action of the film because she becomes obsessed with him and like, you know, obviously monkeys poor,

wish gone wrong kind of stuff. You didn't mention that she was a redhead? She's not a redhead. Well, then what the fuck am I looking at? She's got Jenna Ortega vibes. This, am I looking at the right thing? I can't see your phone. Netflix is obsession.

No. What? Obsession 2026. How about that? Anyway, so this girl becomes obsessed with him so much so that she's like, I'll do anything to spend time with you. I'm in love with you. And the whole film is like predicated on like until it becomes violent if anyone gets in her way.

And like that sort of thing. And if, you know, he even flinches or shows any kind of interesting. in someone else, she, like, mutilates herself and hurts herself and that sort of thing. The film, I guess, kind of comes from the sort of barbarian world and then, like, like, in the kind of, like, that style, the Zach Cracker style. And then also a little bit the Ariasta style where it's like, it's a film that's about, it's about like men and the issue with men. And the issue of like, you know, I think that that's a completely worthy. thing to make a film about.

Oh, that guy from Tain Wolf. Yeah. Yeah. A completely worthy thing to make a film about like a kind of, it's a, it's an analogy for, like, you know, toxic men and how they kind of operate in, in modes of coercion. But the thing about the film is, is it isn't actually about that. It just wants to be about that. It wants to say that. And then it also wants to, like, be like, how?

fucked up is this and like how fucked up is watching this young girl mutilate herself and also like how annoying a chicks which the film is kind of like wanting to have its cake and eat it too because there are moments where like he's like hey I'm gonna I'm gonna go and have a like a night out with the boys and then she's like what are you mean like da la la and then everyone in the audience is laughing because they're like bitches do be like that Oh my God. You know what I mean? Like every single joke is kind of like,

girlfriends are crazy, but she's a like cursed kind of woman. And then it's like the way they've spoken about it since and all the reviews are like, it's amazing how like the main character who's this soft boy is like kind of the villain of the piece. And I'm like, except like that is what the film should be

is about how this kind of soft boy is like just as culpable as. like an aggressive man in the way that he doesn't have any regard for a woman's autonomy and like you know takes control of her and will do anything to control her yeah but the film is not doing that the film is consistently like

uh trying to show him to like he is the he is the scream queen in the piece the way he is shot the way he is moved through the film is as someone who is being um antagonized and it is never. The film never proposes, like follows through on the thing of like he is then continually forcing this to keep happening because there's a few moments where the spell kind of breaks or something and the girl who's inside of that's still inside is like screaming help me.

Yeah. But that never materializes into him trying to figure out how to like help her with her assistance or anything. Like you know. So it's like the whole film goes along and there's like this like constant breaks for jokes about how crazy women are when they're like overbearing in relationships and how annoying that is. All the women in the film are purely props that just have like these kind of two-dimensional like lives and existences and their entire experience like our entire experience of all the female characters in the film is just in how they relate to these men and whether they have a crush on them or not. And so like an exploration on a woman's autonomy is not happening. But the film is banking on the idea that like, isn't it edging cool how we do do that?

And it's just incredibly frustrating how like the film is limp in the way that it's written. It's thin in the way that its characters exist. But then it's also just like there's something really nasty about it because I'm going to give you one spoiler example. There's a girl that has a crush on the protagonist. And she is the girl, like the friend of the girl that ends up getting obsessed. And when she tries to kind of get involved with him, she meets a fate that is like having a face rammed up against a cinder block until her entire skull collapses in and she has no face. Because her face is hit over and over and over again by the obsessed girlfriend into this block. Okay, so that woman is completely dead.

Yeah. The next time we see the now dead woman, who's like 19, is when the girl has brought her dead corpse into the house, stripped off all her clothes and spread-eagled her across this chair. So there's just a shot where we see this young woman's body, tits and puss and no phase. and it's like how fucked up is that that she brought this body in but it's like there's nothing about the existing world of like the spell that would mean that she like this jealous girl would want to have anything to do with this like other chick coming in and cutting her life so then why would she bring her there

why would she take off her clothes why would she do that if she her point was to get her away from this woman Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it is, none of that makes any sense, except that the filmmaker wanted to take a woman's body and be like, how fucked up is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're right, that is fucked up,

but it isn't anything to do with the film that you're trying to make. It's just an image you want to create. So why do you want to create that image? And it's like, because there's, you have this idea that this is like a fun thing to do. Yeah. And it's like, I, like, I'm not approved. You can kind of do that,

But I just, I think it has to have a reason and it has to be set up in the film that you're making. But instead, and that's why I don't fucking believe this guy. I don't believe that he has this like important message about his relationship to women and how it's coercive. I'm like, you know, you're enacting that relationship right now. You haven't written any interesting women. And your film is just doing all the things that you want to do to women's bodies and like still having a, guy be the kind of victim and like the naggy girlfriend trope be the laugh of each of these scenes so it's just like do you suck this sucks and we're getting this wave of like youtubey boy

filmmakers who it's like they're calling this like oh the next wave of horror is all these guys that came up on youtube and like it's just we're getting the exact thing we just went through with horror where we were like we thought we were going to have this exciting new wave of horror where we're getting all these different voices. And instead we have the same 20-something-year-old, like, bros who are just, like, aping this kind of Ariasda style, knowing that they have to kind of make their film, quote, unquote, about something and make it about trauma or, like, something important.

And instead, because these men don't have any kind of deep interior lives or understanding of their own emotional worlds, they make these kind of, like, yeah, it's, like, actually about, like, abuse or like living through trauma and it's like no it's not because you have not thought about that any more than you can like conjure a fucked up image from that and then be like it's because she was like you know traumatically raped and like da da da and it's like you just want to make a slasher film go and make a stupid slasher film but like this weird intersection where these bros have like learnt all of the kind of hallmarks of these thinky horror quote unquote elevated horror films

and they're just like slop, it's bullshit. Like I don't buy it. I don't believe these men. Cooked. Get rid of it. Well, what I'd like to say to that, lazy, is nice try. Trying to upstage my analysis of the boys. But I think mine was a bit more concise and thought out.

Obviously. You can try again next time. Next week. Yeah. Okay. Shall we this time for Africa? It's too more. We'll be right back

This time. Oh, wait, that you were That's the intro of part one. You think that everyone Okay. Sure. And up first. Listen, this is a mailbag episode.

Probably should have said that three hours ago. Mailbag. Yeah. Or your speakhole. But Matt, if they have really good categories, make sure the categories are in the title. True, true, true. Because I would never click on an episode that said Mailbag.

Oh. I don't like Mailbag. But I think if I knew the categories instead of Mailbag, I'd be enticed. True, true, true, true. Maybe we can just do it like death to, what's this first one? Doug. We can do it death to the listeners. See, now this is a staff meeting.

Yeah. And that's good. So up first we have a beautiful speakhole from Doug. Matt, would you play that for us? That's the past tense for having Dig. Hello, Celestial Goddesses. Hello. It's Doug here.

Longtime listener, first time caller. First of all, I want to thank you for such an amazing show for the premiere of the witchy girl. Doug! Listeners, if you haven't watched the witchy girls, you are bad, gay, and you need to go to YouTube and you need to watch it right now. Yeah. I'm really looking forward to the next two events.

In that honour, I thought perhaps a category could be favourite witchy show. Oh, that's... Witchy girls aside, because obviously that's in the bunker automatically. Cool. Love y'all.

Bye. Okay, listen, Doug, that's quite good because we have done favourite witches. Yes. But we haven't done. witchy shows. Because there's not necessarily the same amount, right? What?

Like shows about witches. TV shows about witches. Yeah. Yeah. No, as it movies. No. TV shows about witches. Yeah.

We've done witches. Not the same amount of what? As like, when we discuss witches, which witch gets into the bunker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were including the pantheon of witches. Yes. Now we are limited in purview. to just the TV shows.

Well, the worst witch. Mildred Hubble. Mildred Hubble. Tell me one thing about that show that isn't the title or saying Mildred Hubble. It was set in a school. You've got me there. Okay, so pre-first event of which a girls live,

we were putting together our opening number, and if you were there, you know what I'm talking about, and if you don't, I don't have the term. I don't have the power. But we were pulling all of these, like, iconic witch quotes. and I really, really, really tried to get one from Mildred Hubble, the worst witch. And it was near impossible because there are no iconic quotes. Also, there's two versions of that show.

Did you know about this? It's round the twist all over again. Yeah. It's really hard to find a good quote from either version. So it's not Mildred Hubble. She's not in the bunker. But they do say Mildred Hubble, lots of trouble. Yeah, but where?

I couldn't get it. And if you can't find it immediately... Then, oh. It's just not worth it. No. So, sorry, Mildred. Although I do, everyone I've ever met that's called Millie or whatever, I call Mildred. And I say, Mildred.

And that does explain why. You stop being allowed to meet people. I see. So, that's a shame. What about Agatha? Agatha. So that includes. Agatha all along, and I guess.

Wonder Vision, one. Wanda Vision, which was about a witch. Yes, both of those shows were about witches, although one was slightly more gay. And one was much more about witches. Yes. And one was about grief, persevering. I guess. What?

What I'm talking about? Wondervision. Like, every MCU dude bro is like, yeah, grief is just love persevering. Yeah. Really quite touching. And that is a beautiful line, but everyone get over yourselves. Oh, that's a quote? Yeah.

Paul Bethany says it to, oh, Lizzie. Paul Bethany? Paul Bettney. Whatever. Bethany. Who was the star witness in the Johnny Depp Amber Heard case? What? I don't know.

They just found all these text messages between Paul Bettney and Johnny Depp being like, which would crazy. Oh, no. Yeah. No, he's such a nice guy. Apparently not. No. Apparently he hates that gal. Oh.

Yeah. Vision Quest is about to come out. Yeah. Or perhaps he'll discover some vision that will include women. Okay. But he was naked in Knight's Tale and you can never take that away. True. With a good dick.

He just sees his ass. Okay, that's fine. He's a very tall man. He's tall. It can't be denied. He's quite a sizable man. He could lift you. He could lift me up.

Upies. A be it's Bethany It's Bethany Paul Bethany Miss Bethany P-B I mean obviously I think

Sabrina But it's an uneven show You know season one slam dunk Season two slam dunk Season three

Why are you at college Season four Where's Heldor and Zelda Where's Harvey Why is Solee Moon Frye Here I don't want Punky Brewster

In my Sabrina Nina? Of course I know. What are you talking about? Salem also came with her to Rome and Down Under in the films. Yeah. But where were?

Hilda and Zilda. It's really impossible to say their names back to back. No, that's fine. Hilda and Zelda. Yeah. They're said in different ways. Yes, they're different. It's crazy.

But they're meant to be rhyming. Hilda and Zelda. Then there's Sabrina the animated series. Oh. But there was that weird. God, was it her uncle that was in that show? Why did they think they needed to add a man? I don't think I know this show.

The animator? The Saturday morning cartoon Sabrina the Teenage Witch. What? Yeah, with her uncle. What? Sabrina the animated series. What? Stop.

I'm cringe laughing for you. It only got one season. Why did I watch it? Oh, this is hideous. Yeah. This is fucked up. Wait, Nick. Wait, they changed the casting for Harvey Kinkle.

What? Stop it. Melissa Joan Hart playing Hilda. And Sabrina was played by Emily Hart, who I think is Sabrina's younger daughter. What? Younger sister. And then they had Uncle Quigley. Uncle Quigley.

Yeah. And Spooky Jar. I hate everything about this. That's not going in the bunker. No, but I just can't believe that happened. You know what I mean? I do. Okay, what about Charmede?

Charmed. Were you talking about the new Charmed Ed? No. Why not? No. Like Charm's fine, whatever. Wait, you never watched Charmed? Of course.

How much of it? Um, maybe all of it, but like once. Maybe every single episode. Like as it was airing kind of thing. Like when they discovered the school in the staircase, And then that became a big thing for a season. What? We could have done to do Harry Potter.

No. There's like a, yeah, a magic school. There's like a white lighter. That's all boring Leo. That's season one. Then, okay. Then that wretched one, who turns out wasn't as richard as perhaps we all thought. Cole?

No, no, the actress. Oh. Who? The Jerry Halliwell of. Shannon Dolly. She left and then. Rose came in Yeah

I saw that happen Because they were alienated by Alyssa Milano She was the big star Yeah Coming in off Who's the boss And we'll never know

And Shannon was coming in from 90210 Mm So And then Yeah Like I know McMard

Australia's Julian McMahn Yes Yes Plays the love interest Col Bealthasal Bhaasar And then

the power of three. Yeah. Like it's good. What else is there? But like how often has a show done such a fabulous job at recasting and still gone on for like several seasons? I mean that's true and that's a big shake-up. Like the whole thing is about three sisters

and it was for such a long time. Then it was like, oh wait, sorry, we forgot. There's a fourth one. Yeah, there's a fourth. It's like, what? Yeah. But how many seasons were you? How many seasons?

seasons was Prue in. Br. I feel like three. One to three and there were five other seasons after she left. But isn't that crazy? Because Prue is the show. Yeah. Yeah.

Rose was in seasons four to eight. Oh, crazy. That is crazy. Okay. So, bewitched. Bewitched. Beowitched. Beowitched.

That's the theme. There's so many shows about. Elizabeth Montgomery. Witches. Yeah. What do you think about bewitched? Um, did you prefer her counterpart, Jeannie? Um, I've never really watched either.

Like, if I was going to watch a show from that time, it would be Mr. Ed. You know? And that's what I did watch the channel. So, because of the horse. Or lost in space. Lost in space. Oh, God, I loved that show. I like, um, I did watch a little bit of, uh, both of them.

I think I connected more with Jeannie from an earlier age because I was like a bit pissed by like, I don't know, maybe how, God, maybe how like with restrained Samantha was with her magic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I was like, why are you like, you know what I mean? Why are you dealing with this stressed out man? Yeah, do something. You're a witch.

Whereas, but I loved the mother-in-law. Oh, yeah. Who was incredible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was causing issues with her magic. And she just didn't understand why Samantha wanted to be with a mortal. And I think that's fun. Yeah.

Dismissing the man like that. But yeah, the thing with Jeannie, because we haven't been asked what our favorite Jeannie is. No, no, no. But Jeannie is, she was in servitude. It was kind of sad. True. Yeah. But without her, would we have had Jeannie in a bottle?

I don't know. Yeah, exactly. So it was just good that it happened because otherwise. I mean, also that performance is so, like, incredible. I can't remember. No. It's like, I remember watching it like at dinner time on like channel seven number two or something. Yeah.

See, the thing I loved about Jeannie is that she made his life hell, but she didn't even know. Do you know what I mean? She was just like, he was so stressed all the time. Yeah. And she was like, sorry, master, did I do something wrong? And it's like Yeah, that's true I think that that form of antagonism is really funny

What about Did you even watch Penny Dreadful? Was that with that green? Ava Green. Ava Green? Yes. That green. Yeah, all greenie.

Tim Burton's like weird muse. Yeah. Was it with him for like three films? She's, leave her alone. Okay. Let's just get that out of the way. Let's just get that out of the way. I love Eva Green.

She's so beautiful. I guess. But she didn't make Penny Dreadful anything other than Dreadful. Oh. God, that show was awful. And that show, I'll have you know, I stopped watching because it was so bad. Well, that's good. At least you know that you can do it.

Yeah, what happens since then? Because I don't watch everything that's bad. You do. You do. No, but Penny Dreadful was terrible. Also, like, if I was going to, because obviously she was so fantastic as the queen, oh, the queen, the witch in. in Golden Compass where Nicole Kidman was famously that crone woman. Oh, so good.

There's some witches in that movie, wasn't it? That was amazing. Yes. Yeah. Oh, but there's a TV show of that as well. Yes, which Eva Green should have been a witch again, but she wasn't. And that TV show, while good, was just didn't have Nicole Kidman being a crone. It had that other woman being a crone and she was fabulous. But I just loved when Nicole Kidman slapped that child and was mean to that monkey. Sorry

No one's confused at all That's fine That's an obscene Could someone just crop that sentence And put it on Instagram As an ad for the show I did It's amazing

It'll go viral It's one of the sound bites And then Because of the church As in the real world church We didn't get more of that Because they boycott it the fucking movie I don't think that

That's why they didn't make any more That is one of the reasons why. The phenomenal flop that was the Golden Compass. It got boycotted because the whole book series is incredibly anti-religion, anti-Catholic church. And then they, yeah. I listened to an interview with the director of that, and he sounded very broken. Oh, that's sad. Maybe Nicole slapped him as well.

No, you'd be, you wouldn't be broken after that. We'd be with that last. What's witcher about? Is he a witch? Witcher. He's a witcher. Kind of. He's a witcher.

Is that boy version witch? No. I'm witcher. She thinks she's a witch, but I'm witcher. I'm witcher than her. There are witches in that show. In fact, Eva Green would have made a great Hennifer. Jennifer?

Jennifer. Yenifer. Sorry? It's Yennafer. Yennafer. Fuck me. I hated that show. Isn't it still?

I loved it. It's terrible. When I watched it, I was like, this is so. about it's like iconic you know what I mean like it's one of those things it's like it's based of a game right yeah well which is based off no bells it feels like a game the show feels like a game which is fun that's fine most of it's just watching him from behind going I need to go back to the tavern I need to go back to the tavern incredible I need to go back to the tavern jumping over rocks No, the key issue, the biggest flaw in that fucking show is where the fuck did Yennafa get her

Dyson Airstream to get those barrel curls? What the fuck are we doing here? B2A. She's a witch. She can do whatever she likes with her hair. It's ridiculous. Perhaps she could do something medieval since it's a medieval setting. Oh no, you won't be as hot for the fucking poster for Netflix.

But guess what? It'd be real. It'll be real, like this magic spool. I don't know. The acting is just so over the top in that show that I loved it. Is that the What's his name one? Yeah. Superman.

Where he got fired. Yeah. Well, no, he left. What is the actor's name? I thought he was... Henry Cavill. Henrik? Kenrick?

Is this Hennefer all over again? No, Henry Cavill left to do something else. Also, it was so bad that he was like, see ya no no no no I'm gonna make them war hammer movie let me tell you what happened

and then the hemworth came in the hemworth yeah but not the good one the other one not the third hemp's worth the leum one yeah not the dud the duddud

yeah yeah what's dud dud hemworth there's third hemworth the third he was on master chef and he did the third season of dead luck

and he's like short and older Luke yeah he's quite stocky but he's like not unattractive, but he's just not a Hemsworth. Oh my God. Look at him next to the other two. That's so unkind. Do you think Liam is more attractive than Kreece?

No. I can't see any of them, honestly. I just think it's not. Do you think if we go to Phillip Island, we'll bump into one of them? Well, okay, so my cousin went to school with the Hemsworth brothers, at least Chris and Liam, I think he was in the same year as Chris. And he's just like, yeah, they were just like, like, douchebag lads. Yeah. Like exactly what you think they are. Yeah.

But it's like we're doing the same thing with Jacob Allorty now. I think for people from America, they don't have a concept of like this. Like, yeah, what these kind of boys are like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so like, it's like, oh, how exotic. Yeah. And then they don't know. And it's like, but when I look at like Jacob Alleroy,

I'm like, yeah, you're a loser from like one of those all-boy schools. Yes. Like you're a Zodagh, like he's like a Scotch college boy or a Xavier boy. Yes. Wasn't he, isn't he from the GC? Yeah, but he's like the equivalent of those schools. And he's just like, there's like, I can picture that tall guys like, oh, yeah, okay. You know what I mean?

It's like, the only thing that changes when they get to Hollywood is like, like, number one, they take on this kind of air of exoticism because they're like not of America. So people like don't understand. He's arsey. They're just kind of lame. Yeah. And then they kind of start having to think about themselves through a lens of being like a real actor. And so then they start kind of putting themselves all these, you know, I'm really learning, getting touched on my instrument and stuff.

And you're like, no, you just suck. We haven't talked too much on this part about Euphoria Season 4, mostly because it's boring and bad. But it's the only euphoria. ever seen. Are you up to date? Yeah, it's on the new episode last night. God. Wait, last night. What day is it? No, I watched it on Monday. I watched it. Um, Zenday is not good. She's not good. I'm like, I'm like now I loved her in challenges, but I don't think she's being good otherwise. And I've seen her in Dune, Dune too. Yeah. And Spider-Man. And she's been pretty uniformly, like, uninteresting.

Like, I don't know what she does. Yeah. I love the interior of that house. It's my fantasy. Wait, which house? Like the Jacob Allorty and, oh, Sydney house. Yeah.

Oh, it's so cool. There's disgusting plush carpets everywhere. Yeah. Oh, it's so hot. But when the first couple episodes came out, people were like, oh, Jacob Allorty can't act anymore, like what's going on. But he didn't really have too much going on in those first couple episodes. But I've enjoyed his performances since because it feels like, yeah, I don't know.

Like, obviously he's playing a character. But it is a bit like, yeah, all you've done as a character, but maybe also as a lawyer is like be a hot person in the right place or the right time. And you've gotten away with all these things because you're just. so hot and everyone's obsessed with you. But then when the reality starts to check in, I don't know, your toe and your finger gets cut off because you're the piece of shit. Yeah. Maybe that will happen in real life as well.

Or maybe. Metaphorically. Or it'll win an Academy Award in the next few years. Yeah. And we'll see what happens first. But, yeah, I mean, the show is ridiculous. It's like a full-on, like, pipe dream thing. But again, Sam Levinson, the creator.

in a similar to the obsession kind of thing. It's like you have weird issues with women. But the thing about that is, there is like no denying, despite her having this kind of like really uneven run and also having like all those like bizarre kind of stuff coming out about her personal views. Sydney Sweening is incredible.

She's incredible. And she's like, like just the kind of, the performance she's turning in is just like, it's so unnecessarily huge. Like, it's without vanity. Like, it really feels like she is so comfortable playing a mess. Yes. And this kind of monstrous.

but interesting person. Yeah. And you're just like, yeah, every time I see her, I'm just like, what is going through your head? Like, you are so interesting. And she is completely captivating in that show. Yes. Like this season, like the storyline, all of their storylines are just complete,

bat shit crazy. Like it's ridiculous. But when she's on screen, it's like, I need to watch every part of her face move. Yes. Like, it's incredible. And the thing about it is, like, yeah, because she's not, like, necessarily, she's getting about the same amount to do as everyone else. But what she does with it as a movie star is, like, so gleeful. And, yeah.

And, like, you compare that to the kind of more serious actors that are there with her, who is, like, Sandeia, who's having the kind of being primed for something, perhaps a bit more like, I'm going to do prestige films and be this important actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. who gives this really one-note performance that just is like, oh, Zendaya is stressed again. Oh, Zendaya is stressed again. Yeah. Oh, Zendaya is really going through it. But I'm like, I don't believe that you're a human being that's ever existed. It's kind of like you're doing an impression of someone.

Like, I don't think Zendaya has a personal kind of lived experience. It feels anything akin to what this character is going through. And so it just feels like really flat. And I'm like watching her and I'm like, I don't know. I kind of feel like she's giving this performance that makes me think she's thinking about what she's going to have for that. It's interesting because you haven't seen as much of the other seasons. Any of the other season. Yeah.

Her performance is very consistent. But in those other seasons, she's more of a junkie. Yeah. So she has periods of being sober and then the really heightened periods of being like very drugged out. Yeah. And so there's a bit more variety. Yeah. But it all tastes the same as.

the season four version, which yeah, is just a bit like, she's in some crazy situations and you don't get a lot. A crazy situation always end up misbehaving. What do you think about that Maddie? The one with the lip liner. Maddie. The one who's taken photos of Sidney Sweeney. Oh.

She's so stunning. She is really stunning. I think like she. Um, she, because like her character's the boss bitch. Yeah. But I think like she's really good at doing that. And then it seems like that's all she can do. Yeah.

Because she's like, I'm going to take charge and be in control. And I'm like, that's really interesting. And then like that's literally the only thing she can deliver in that character. Yeah. He's like, I'm a bad bitch in control. I'm like, yeah, but right now you're not. Show me that. Yeah.

Show me what's happening inside your head. What about, um, Hunter Sheffer? Hunter Schaefer was terrible. Oh. Do you think? Oh, yeah. In that? Oh, Hunter Schaefer slapping Zendaya?

Yeah, into a painting. Number one, find two people with less chemistry together. Like, two people that have less, like, Zendaya's like, I'm so excited to have sexual relations with you. And I'm like, no, you're not. She's saying that in three-quarter shorts. So therefore. It's going to be so.

hot when we have sex and you're like you don't believe that hunter doesn't believe that you guys don't really look like you're in the same scene right now and then hunter's like get out of here please leave me alone what did you think of it you haven't said anything about Jacob alerting on those flowers I like that I like that I like that a lot I like it when Jacob yelled at the flowers your little faggots yeah what was he calling them faggots and then running away from someone who's going to cut off another one of his appendages. It's so fun. There's just so many things in that show where I'm like,

you, we can assume you've had time between, like, the previous thing that happened to you and now, and yet you haven't done anything. No one ever, like, calls the cops. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if someone cuts off your toe, even if you owe them money, you can still, like, you can call the cops by the time

they're cutting off a toe. right? Or you could like lock the doors to your house. Oh no, he smashed through the window. Yeah. But you could like... You would probably like go to a different place.

You could probably stay somewhere else. Yeah. Like... It's just a guy. You could also have a gun. Yeah. Are they guns in this show? Yeah.

Because there was a moment in the last episode where they spent three minutes just loading guns. Mm. Like you watched people just load guns for three minutes. And it was like, ching, ding. Rock on. And there was all this epic music and I was like, there they go. Loading those guns.

Where did that horse come from? Also, just quickly, before we return to which TV show, if you were cast in Aphoria, which character would you want to be? Because I think I know who you would play really, really well. I want to be Mord Apatow. What? The sister of Sydney, sweetie.

Oh, okay. Get that bitch out of here. You could do that very well. I would like to be frustrated at someone's success. Yeah, yeah. I loved the scene where they were like, that mistake cost us $5 million. And you were like, that's like when I was on set. Yes.

Yes. Well, I was going to say you would play such a good, that like woman who owns the bird. Oh, I love her. Right? Yeah. You could do that so well. I would love to be that lady. Oh.

She's great. I also hate all the henchmen. Oh, it's so ridiculous. I'm so over henchmen. Yeah. Like, I just think I haven't seen a unique take on a henchman in so long.

Like, oh, you're quiet. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, I don't care. Like,

we've seen the quiet henchmen. Yeah. We've seen the like, you know, I don't know. I just like, I want more from my henchmen. Yeah.

I want, uh, I want to get what their motives are pretty quickly. It's weird because that guy, like, we just finished season two of dead. Devil born again. Who's we?

Everyone except for you. I don't think everyone is watching Daredevil season two born again. They didn't want to see Jessica Jones for three scenes. Was she good? She was good. That was all you got. Yeah, she wasn't in it very much. She'll be in season three more.

Oh, good. With Luke Cage and maybe. So you're going to watch that too. Yeah. It was good. Vanessa. Anyway, Kingpin has this like, henchmen

what gone who you don't know where like he just doesn't say anything yeah so you get no oh henchmen yeah

but it's like the exact same character is then like adabisi's henchman which I don't know the actor's name but he plays Adabisi in Oz

you know and then he's in lost yeah I want to have a henchman but I like think it would be a different kind of thing yeah like my henchman would be

I don't know Sheridan Sky is already someone else's henchman. That's a hench woman. Sheridan would be a great hench woman. Yes. Yeah. Sheridan would also make a great,

that drug dealer woman. Yes. Yes. Incredible. Yeah, see, which witch? Yeah, I think... I mean, listen, I like Alex Mack. She's a witch.

She's the chemical witch. Okay. She got her powers from chemical. What about true blood? That ain't... That's a vampire show. Yeah, but with witches, which is why we're not talking about Buffy. I don't know, there's how many witch shows?

What about season three of American Horror Story? Cavan. Cavan. It is a good season. It's good. Madam Laveau, played by Kathy Bates. Yeah. I think that that film is, I mean, that show is only good because it meant that Jessica

Lang and Kathy Bates got to hang out in New Orleans. Yeah. And it also meant that we got to see Emma Roberts be crazy. Are you going to say Wizards of Waverly Place? Well, they're wizards, Zelda. Okay. But do you know the rules, though? Have we spoken about this?

What? We've spoken about this. What? Just that Alex Rousseau. What is it? Alex. Is it Rousseau? Yeah.

No. What? What's their last name in the, in the wizards? It's Alex Rousseau. In the Wizards of Waverly Place law. Yeah. The family wizard, they could only be one. Okay.

Okay. So the dad, who is a wizard, who married a mortal, um, decides that from a young age, he's going to train all his children to be wizards, right? And so every day after school, they go into the back room and they learn magic. And all kinds of hijinks ensue. There's the like, very responsible older brother. There's the middle child who's like up to no good, played by Selena Gomez. And the youngest child who's kind of down for a good time and sometimes is mischievous, right? And then they find out later on and towards the end of the show that they have to do a tournament between each other to decide who becomes the family witch wizard. And then the other two lose their magic.

Oh. Isn't that cruel? That's boring. No, like it's so like sad. I want everyone to have powers. Yeah, no, but then the show ends once they decide on who has powers. I hate that. But isn't that like, that's real stakes for a kid's show?

Yeah, but like, that's not fun. What's the moral there? Some people grow up and have success and the other rest lose their magic. You love your kids more, some kids more than others. Yeah, but he hadn't told them that the whole show. And then he's like, there can only be one. Why is it like that? Do be like that.

But it's amazing. I'm like, oh my God, that's so cut through. Imagine living in the shadow of your siblings. Do you think that Mortisha Adams is a witch? No. Only the grandmother is a witch. Ah. Haxes, hexas, yeah, yeah.

Yeah. Hiss bumba! I don't know the answer to this question. It's Sabrina. Okay. We'll be right back. Hello and welcome back. No, no, no, no, no.

Up next, we got more hole for you. Speak hole. When you go to the... Speak hole. Now, this is, there's two parts to this from James. One wasn't enough. I am led to assume, since you sent two. consecutively.

So, Matt, would you play us our first version? Where do you to get off? Mine is Matt, because Matt has done nothing. Oh, thank you. After listening to the latest episode with Yvel, very good episode, by the way, and you're talking about merch. I was already distraught enough that I couldn't go to the Live show

and get a map of The Bunker, which you never tried to see. sell online. Rude. Some of us live three hours away. We are. We're all queens where you're at. And now I hear there's more

exclusive merch coming. Excuse me. I would like to support. I've been supporting forever. I mean, not ever. I don't want to tell you how long because it makes me sound like a creep. But...

Where is it? Sorry. Uh, yeah. Sorry, can you please cheers? I was put this crap online. I was about to swear, but I don't know if that's allowed. Yeah, you're right.

Also, Matt, how are you? Good, mate. I hope you all right. Yeah. And I hope the babes coming soon. Thanks, mate. Thanks. I'm good, thank you.

Thank you. Ew. Matt, you know how like gay guys... That was nice. I liked him. Oh, I bet. You know how like gay guys code switch when you have to like a tradey come into your work

and you've got to be like, oh, hey, mate. Yeah. Would you do that? What? What do you mean? Do you mask it up when you're talking to a mask guy? Like a real maskey.

Oh, I thought you meant the other way around the way, like camp it up when I'm talking to. We already know that's true. We know the answer to that one. He said, hey divas. Get on here, let's part. I do say that. Yeah, I try and butcher up a bit. Buc up.

Do you think all, like there's no one actually butch, and everyone's just butching up for each other. Yeah. Without knowing who they're... Yeah, and if you're butching up more than the other person escalates. Yeah, yeah. That's how, yeah, you get real... Into a fist fighter. Yeah, my dad.

Yeah. Okay, and what about part two of this? All right, let's listen to part two and see what happens when he calls back. Yeah. Really, really sorry. Realizer may have come in a bit hot. Much appreciated all of your creative endeavours. Really sorry if that was a bit much

What? I love everything, the witchies girls, Nancy. Bye, sorry, whoops. I love that I'm not the only person that overthinks everything. That's ridiculous. James. Well, thank you for that. Wait, what was the question?

No questions. No, it was with the merch online. Oh. I need to find that, because there's a box with all the newspapers. in it and we did order a hundred of them. Yeah. Oh, there's still more newspapers. Yeah.

And we sold like, I don't know, 10. So, Matt. They're definitely around. I was saying extra, extra read all about it. Why don't you tell people what it was for new listeners? New listeners. We, for our very first and only ever to this date, live show, podcast live. Live!

And in honor of that, we made a piece of one-off merchandise, which was a newspaper of the bunker from the bunker daily. Bunker Daily. Which we thought was like so fun as an idea to make an in-world newspaper from beneath, you know, in the subterranean bunker world that had all the things we agreed were in the bunker. All the articles about. And then on the other side, a map of the bunker. Yeah. A little floor plane. me. We should, I mean, we'll do live too. Live the livening. Yeah. Um, probably this year.

Maybe. Yeah. We just need to, just need to live in a place. Well, we also have the grand ambitions. I know we speak about this a lot, but one day we'll get to a point where we're going to like, properly make a video podcast. Yes. Yeah. And once the Witcher Girls is out the way and all those other things that we're doing, um, that'll come. Come. Come. Should we listen to the next one? Yeah. Wait, actually, can we listen? Can we just with, can I just, can we just, can we do, yeah, we'll do Curti next.

Okay, this is from Curti. So the latest episode of the Witchie Girls verse killing Heidi. Oh. Was probably the best episode yet. I agree. It had comedy. It had drama. It had theatrics.

It had magic. It was incredible. It made fun of my partner who loves Stephen Sondheim. I also know. So it ticked all the boxes. My goodness. Thank you. Well, thank you.

My said, thank you. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. I think the quiet thing, I don't know if we should say this on the pod, but, you know, we're all friends here. Yeah. But when we made the whole show. and then we were like, oh, this is really good.

Like, as we were getting edits through of each episode, we're like, yeah, this one's really fun. This one's really fun. And then by the time we were done, we were looking back at the first two and we're like, these are kind of like, even though like we're really proud of them, really proud of every part of them, they're still kind of like a huge level of accomplishment for us.

But like the second half of the season, like the season three, four, episode three, four, five, six are like so good. that like when we were watching the first two episodes with the crowd, we're like, but also there's more to come ahead. They're kind of, and if you think this is funny, just wait till the scene in Amazon 4,

which is the show, because the first two episodes were part of, each one of those had been written for like a longer version of the show, like 30 minute episodes. And so as a result, those scripts had like just longer sections in them. So the scenes, like they're just a bit weighted different.

So the scenes are a bit longer, which I think is a bit killer on the internet stuff. And then there's like the rhythm isn't the same. Whereas these later episodes, it's like really fast. And it really powers through like five different like scenarios and setups. And it just kind of like ideally does that thing that the Simpsons does. Like not that it's at the same level, but where it's like, it starts somewhere really specific. And then by the end of the episode, it kind of ends up somewhere. else.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or you're not expected. Part A, puppy. Yeah. And like, but like, you kind of like churn through jokes really quickly. Whereas the first two are just a bit more like locked in place and a bit more about. Yeah, it's like a situation. Yeah.

And you're just like dealing with the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas the other one feels a bit more like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. You got a little quest in the other ones. Yeah. Hmm. But thanks, Koti, for that, those kind words.

And I'm glad that your boyfriend is getting mocked. Yeah, that's important. So, I think we'll have a quick break And then we'll come back for one final whole speak. Whole speak. Speak bye. Welcome back, listener. I was witness to when this last speak hail, I was witness to when this happened, because some of the rock chicks at work.

giggled at each other and they disappeared together. And then they've returned. And while they were gone, one of them started following Death to Everyone on Instagram. Oh. And then they both looked at me and said, when do you, when do you listen to those speak pipes when they come through? Well, don't tell me anything else I want to hear. Okay, yeah, yeah.

Sounds like a prank. This one's from Shane and Demi. Hello, Miss Zelda Moon. And lazy Susan. It's Shane. And Demi here. We hope you don't mind. But in light of your fabulous recent series, the witchy girls, we would love to ask you a question.

Which spell, out of all of the spells in the world, goes into the bunker. Zulangior. None of the bunker. None of the bunker. Oh, that's very funny. I hope you don't mind. I thought she just woke that into the talk, like this supernatural speaking voice. David Nelton.

No context needed. Okay. Well, thanks. Demi and Shane. What spell? I like how it sounded like they were recording inside of a silo. They were recording in what we kind of refer to as the crying room. It's so funny how many of those rooms have to be brought into existence in spaces you inhabit.

Who made the crying room? Was it you? Well, do you know what? Which crying room gets into the bung? True. Do you have a crying room in your house? In my house? Yeah.

Okay, where have I cried the most in my house? Probably the shower. No. But probably, what? How do you know if you're crying in the shower? But because it tastes different. Salta. Shaltia.

No, I don't like crying in the shower that much. What do you mean that much? How much is not much? Like, I don't know. How many hours per day? No, you know what? I probably have to cry the most on the couch because I have weird emotional swings when watching some content.

Like the prologue of Lot of the Rings. Or like lately, like all this Cyclop shit is making me. so teary-eyed. Like the reveal trailer for Cyclops in Marvel rivals, I was crying by the end of it. It's really emotional. Sorry, what?

Cyclops rescues moon girl. You know? But then I'd also say bed. Bed. Bed? Like when I'm alone, like after that breakup or whatever.

I actually didn't really cry about that. Mostly because I was so angered by it all. You're crying or come later. Nah, I'm over it. It actually makes people sick thinking about that. Thinking about what? Nauseous is the next stage of grief. Oh, yeah.

I'm like, oh, I would rather. Anger, nausea, depression. Anger, anger, anger. Oh, you can't get depressed if you stay depressed. That's right. Like a panini. Which spell? Which spell?

Goes into the bunker. Love spell? Well, as we learn from obsession. Love spells don't work. Or they do the wrong. Do well. I just also think it's very telling. And I know that it's the conceit of the horror film.

But very telling that the only way that a man can imagine love is as a horrific obsession. The only way I can imagine love is one that is so destructive that it, It involves violence and, like, forcing the other person to spend time with you. Yeah. I was like, that's not what he said. He said, I love me more. Love can take many different forms. Yeah.

But anyway, love is a destructive force in the eyes of young men. Well, yeah. That's like episode four of the Witcher girls. No, that works out. True. It works out for everyone except for children. We write for me You know what I've realized

That episode Oh I don't know I don't know about that episode Which one? Which what? Episode four Of the witchy girls

You don't like it? You don't like it? No, it's just a lot It's definitely our most extreme What do you mean? Just Some of the scenes Make me feel a little ill

Why? You know why Yeah Huh And if you've listened to this podcast with success, then you'll be able to listen to it. Yeah.

I think, yeah, if you haven't seen it, I think you should definitely watch it, but just be prepared to have a sick bag. I do forget that people get a bit grossed out by things like that. Vomiting. You know what I reflected on like four days after the second viewing was at the end of that night,

ended with a joke, question mark, of me being like, where's my boyfriend? And then I stormed off the stage, and I never returned. Yeah. What was that about? Well, it's all planned. No, it's a fun banter. Was it fun?

Oh, Lily? Yeah, I don't know. And then do you remember what I said? No, I was offstage. I said, I don't know, probably being born. Jesus. It was about how, but it was kind of like, it's not really true.

You're not really into twinks, like young twinks. No. But it would be funny if that was the case. Maybe in 20 years. And it's still got a laugh. Oh, good. You might be of a cougar in 20 years. Cougar.

You're like, no, like, it's just a word for... You thought you might be transformed into a cougar. Yeah. Yeah, it's not okay. What else would you... Yeah, I might be an animal. Might be. That's a good spell.

Animal off spell. I think food coloring and a little bit of water is quite a good spell. Yes. A bit of honey. A bit of honey. Make it sweet. What's a good spell? I mean, you know what my favorite spell is?

Circle assault for protection. Yes. From slugs? No, well, that too. That too. I actually do think we did. In my uni boyfriends room, the first night I stayed over, there was snail trails all over the floor.

Why? Because he had snails. I thought could you were rubbing your tummy's on the floor. come in all throughout the night. Why? And they were like, like there's silvery trails everywhere all over the floor. And there was a pile of boxes, like cardboard boxes. I'm so confused by this story.

From the ground to the ceiling. Wait, what was in the boxes? Rotting things. Oh. This boy and his mattress is just hard up on the floor. Oh. Yeah. I see.

Yeah. Sounds good. kind of hot. Yeah. Obviously. Are you kidding me? Is it like talking to a bird a spell? No.

Damn it. I was talking to a bird a spell. Why do you ask? Well, it would be a nice spell to have. I'll... Yeah. Talking to a lizard of spell. Those Macpies know my face.

Okay. They're my friends. Well, they do I think they can know your face Would you be speaking Magpie or would they be speaking human Like would they be speaking a human voice

Hello Talking to animals Yeah I'd also just go for a psychic link That's fine To anyone There's too many people Psychic links in the X-Ben world

Yeah That's crazy They're all obsessed with Scott Summers How likely is that mutation Going happen so many times But there's degrees of success And if your thing is being a diamond Why is it, why do you have

ESP. She survived the genocide of mutant kind. She was the sole survivor of the strike on Genosha. He laughed like, how could you be so insensitive? She survived a judge. And she emerged in diamond form because under such pressure. Where did she

get her ESP? She's a mutant. She was... So she was not Diamond Lady first. No, she was just psychic for years and yars and yars. So she became diamond lady. Yeah, and she was the first mutant to have a secondary mutation and now they pop them out whenever someone gets boring. Wow. Yeah. Well, I spoke too soon for old January Jones. Yeah. But too many of them have ESP. Why does it's like, yeah. Because like, so Gene Gray, like obviously, Xavier, obviously, but Gene Gray also has telekinesis.

Yeah. And then she has Phoenix power. Um, but yeah, like Emma is a great telepath. Like probably equal to Gene. Robbleu. But then you've got other characters like karma or something or like Silo

where they're like Pisswick like psychics. Would you like to be a Pissueeke? Not really. But even a Pissueekech in today's world

would be very impressive. Totally. Or a cuckoo. You'd still be able to speak to birds. Yeah. Even if you're a Piss week. I don't think you'd want to hear

what birds have to say to be honest. Worms? Yeah. I think if you heard the thoughts of a bird, you'd be like, oh, I thought you were so sweet. What if they were really philosophical? I don't think that's the case. I think you'd be like, they'd be like,

yeah, sometimes non-understanding is the best way. True. They're kind of racist. Yeah. Okay, what's a spell? Well, what about, yeah, I think the salt or the brick dust. Brick dust. What film is that?

Is that in? Brick dust. Like they sometimes use brick dust instead of salt. Ew. You know in Hocus pocus. Just a little bit of hocus pocus. How she frantically does the like salt. Oh God, that lived in my memory. Yeah.

She's wearing that chunky jumper and she, is it in the others? Like where is it that like the people don't cross the threshold? Because there's a salt beneath the carpet and they're like sneaky little witch. Ooh, yeah. Something like that. What is that in? Unsure.

But salt ring is a thousand times better than like stage stick in the corners of a new house room. That sucks. Get like it's boring. Like it's nice. Like and I've done it. But what? It doesn't, like you do it once. Whereas the salt ring you could do any time.

I like as well that it's got like a clear law. Mm-hmm. Like it's like you can't cross. Yeah. But if it's broken, you can't. Yeah. What do you Yeah

Yeah What about like vampire Can't come in if you didn't invite them That's not a spell That's just a rule Yeah That's a rule What about turning into a liquid

And rolling around like Alex Mack That's her spell That's kind of yeah That's pretty good I think Yeah I think a spell Where you change someone Into a toad

Oh Like a transformation spell Yeah Or turning someone into like, yeah, something else. I do love like a turning into someone's spell. I think that that's really. Or turning into someone else? You know someone into a turtle?

No. Did you say? No. Oh. What did you say? Well, you'll have to listen to the pod. But, you know, like turning into someone and the rules of that is very fun and interesting every time.

Yeah. Because it's like, as you slowly don't look like them anymore. What are they called? Casting a glamour. I like glamours. Yeah. That's all. That's all.

Matt, what's your favourite spell? Turning someone into a tote, I already said. Into a turtle? No. Well, turtle could be cool too. Just turning someone into something else in general. Like turning someone tiny. Oh.

Or like turning someone into a chair. So that Sydney Sweeney can put a giant titch through the windows. Are you jerking off? me. I don't know if that's what she says, but that's the quote that I've invented. Yeah, it's amazing. Hey,

are you joking off to me? Oh, it's so good. Oh, it's so good. Okay, a magic spell. Magic spell. I don't think there's anything particularly magical about lighting a few candles. I think cursing people is good.

Like, yeah Like actually, you know what my favorite spell might be the Drag Me to Hell spell Yes You have to take Someone gifts you a cursed object Yes And then the Lamia, the goat demon comes and claims you

Yeah And then if you gift that gift onto someone else The Lamia takes their soul instead Yeah, yeah, yeah That's fun. That is fun. A really clear rule. Yep.

They get dragged to hell. Mm-hmm. That's fun. That woman. It's kind of like re-gifting cursed. Yeah, exactly. I love a cursed object. Yeah.

Yeah. Physical lives, magic. Talisman. Exactly. The amulet. Which is talisman. Let's not go there again. I don't know.

What spell? I just told you. Oh. Well, what's the, cursed object. Listen to the pods, Zelda. A button.

Did you see drag me to hell? Yes. It's a button. Okay. We're not going to do salt circle? I like salt circle. I like salt circle. But in like a big table salt from hocus pocus.

In a big shaker. You know how in America they have those cans that aren't cans? Cans that ain't can. Like kosher table salt. Yeah. That? Yeah. What a vessel?

What a vessel. And maybe it's at Reggies when they have. tequila shots they trap a demon inside at the center and do the lick sips up what come on girls wait it's a tiny demon in a shot glass no oh a margarita the salt rim little demon dancing in your margarita glass can't get out that's good okay are we doing that i guess so for which spell which spell we're putting in a shot a shot A margarita shot? A salt roomed margarita glass with a small demon.

What's the demon's name? Changes, depending on the glass. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Great. So there's a bit of a portal to hell then. I don't know what kind of animatronics we're going to use to try and make it look at this. Very good. Very good.

Well, thank you, listener, for sending in things to our whole. Speak hole. And the TV show was, Sabrina. Original. Do you know for so long I thought the theme song was Hold me in your heart

Don't let me go I want to stay forever closer each day Home and away But it's because it would play before Sabrina So I associated them And I'm like, that's such a better theme song than Sabrina's actual theme song. Oh, God.

Home and away, Sabrina. Because that song you can't sing. No. You just got to go, and then you've got to remember one of the stupid jokes. You'd be like, I guess I am cheese. Yeah. Could I be more? money, just as a B.

Yeah. Yeah. Why didn't we do that for witching girl? Oh, we've got enough in there. Yeah, true. And in the middle section, there was only discussion. Oh. Yeah, we just had fans telling them, telling you how great you are.

It's kind of hard to live this life. Thanks for listening to Europe. It's kind of hard to live this life. This is what Sabrina says in the mirror. Dim-Dun-Dim. Yeah. Okay. We'll see you next time.

Bye-bye. Thanks for listening. Death to Everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Shears. Our theme song and music was provided to us by Edie Centric and Angus. Leslie, if you have something to say to us, send it to us at Death to Everyonepod.com. Or speak into the hole at speakpipe.com. to everyone and won't you consider supporting us please at patreon.com such that to everyone or joining us for our final final event at comedy republic on June 5th for the whole damn thing