Death To Everyone - Death To… Years, Locks & Fan Fiction

Episode Date: October 15, 2025

Holy Guacamole its another week and another episode of ramblings from your favourite Celestial Goddesses... Lazy Susan and Zelda Moon!Tune in and chill out as we chat about which Year and Lock gets into our doomsday bunker this week!We also have some lovely Fan Fiction sent to us, that we read out for your listening pleasssssureee.Follow us, won't you? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/deathtoeveryone⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/deathtoeveryonepod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/mslazysusan⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/zeldamoon⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Death To Everyone is recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matt Sheers. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.naturalhabitatstudios.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Our theme and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/ediecentric⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ www.instagram.com/pir_ingi103

...toe... ...to everyone... Hello, listener, and welcome to death to everyone. Death by a thousand to everyone's. Yeah. I'm lazy Susan. And I'm Zelda Moon. And this is a show where two celestial goddesses, two drag queens,

decide what will survive the terrors of the incoming apocalypse. Yes. What will go into our dooms, J. Bunker. Doom! Now we've just traveled to your... your solar system driven by our space car driver, Matt. Hi. Honker, honker.

How are you? Judgment on it. Judgment day. Every day is judgment day. Doom on you. Doom on you. Doom. What do you think about Dr. Doom?

I don't. Where did he get his medical degree? Oh. Is that kind of hip? Victor. Hot. Is he actually a doctor? Yeah, sure.

I don't really know much about it. He's a pediatrician. He's a, That's Robert Downey Jr., right? Well, it is now, yeah. But what do you think about that guy from Charmed, who was also Mr. Doom? Who died, Julian McMahon. Yeah.

Oh, God, what a shame. I loved him in Nip Tuck. Yeah, do you think that was more of his success than Charmed, right? Yes. Like, it was Charmed, Nip Tuck, Fantastic Four, and then. Yeah. yeah um and he's an australian well i think he was a kiwi but he's australian i remember um like looking up like a shower scene with him and some other guy from niptuck yeah and they're

like in the shower together and the other guy's like really hung and he's like oh yeah yeah do you know what i'm talking about yes yeah yeah ryan murphy was up to his tricks even back then yes wait was niptuck ryan murphy yes he's who is ryan murphy Just an evil homosexual. It's like, right. But it's incredible. Why is he evil? He's just like, okay, so the Ryan Murphy lore is like he's a show creator.

He started by making this teen show called Popular, which was on the WB, I think. And it kind of began his like signature, sassy, kind of problematic, like hot girls as a genre. Yeah. And then all his shows kind of feature these kind of awful. people but they always feel like they're like on the surface it's like this is a critique of this kind of person but then as time has gone on you're like maybe this is just what ryan murphy wants to say and he thinks that it's easier if he puts it into the mouths of like emma roberts and gets them to say these kind of hideous nasty racist homophobic things but then the other

thing about him is that during glee which was his big like huge success He was Glee. He did Glee as well. Wow. He was like, what the actors have said is that Ryan was like having this re-like reliving his early 20s through the stardom of the Glee cast because that show was like the biggest thing in the whole world for the first like three seasons. And so he was like really involved with them socially. So they would all go out drinking and clubbing together. and he would kind of manipulate different relationships between the cast to try and, like, get reactions and responses.

Oh, God. And was, like, quite, like, cruel to some and, like, would play them against each other and that sort of stuff. Like, weird parasocial shit that was, like, yeah, like him living outside, but living through them. And if you see these interviews, or, like, him on the Glee Project, he's such a nasty big. It's really funny But yeah Then also like There's a bit in

Niptuck Which is like Willem plays A trans woman Who God what is the story of Cherry She like Sleeps with Julian McMahon's son And then he finds out that she's trans

And it becomes like a massive Thing And then she gets Killed or beaten up or something like that oh god i don't know oh yeah well there you go but what a show insane i never really watched niptuck yeah you should go back maybe i don't know how it ages but also it's like that classic thing where old shows like 10,000 hours long and you're like nothing's happening yeah i just like i don't know like medical drama never interested me like i never watched e r or like

even what's that gray's anatomy yeah gray's anatomy yeah gray's anatomy I was going to say like monk. I know monk wasn't. He was the detective. Yeah, but it had like... House? Yeah, house. They all had the same taste and I didn't care for it.

Well, monk was off being, you know, OCD. Yeah. Whereas house was, I don't know, what did he have? He had a walking stick. Yeah. Did you watch Harry's practice? Yes. Yes.

And a country practice. Oh, my God. Yeah, a country practice I can get behind. Bondi vet? No. You like the Bondi Vets? No. Oh, as if you would like him if he didn't have a jawline.

Like... But he does, Zelda. Yes, but we shouldn't encourage that kind of thing. Men with joy lions shouldn't be encouraged. They need to be ignored until they learn. Yes. But he's a vet. You love animals.

Yeah. So imagine the combo of like someone with a jawline holding like a Labrador puppy. Like, okay. Too much. Too much. Too much. One or the other. Get fucked.

Yeah, no. um yeah wait what else is going on what else is going on i don't know life it continues to roll by yes one long day after the never at least we got this podcast to look forward to each week yes and i know you do listener i know listener loves it sometimes the listener sends me messages being like oh it's my favorite part of the week. Get a life. God. You're fucking loser.

Really? Jesus. The fucking loser. God. Our suggestion would be, find some hobbies. Yeah. Well, blildering. There's never good to do it anymore since dark zone closed.

Matt, are you aware that pigeons are really fond of this little moment out here? I know. What are you looking at? We're in the celestial void. Yeah, but they're tapping at the celestial window. There are space pigeons. around. Yes.

They've decided that the studio is their home base, and I don't know, if anyone knows how to get rid of them? Those tiny little plastic spikes. No, they're sitting all over the roof. Like, the whole, it would have to put the whole roof in spikes. Yes. Or snakes. Maybe I could put snakes up there.

Oh, my God. My mother. Oh, my God. One moment. So, my mother. My mother. My mother. And her new house has.

like a semi-established garden, most of which she's pulled out for some reason, but there's quite a lot of trailing plants growing up the roof. Like along the wall, because it's like a brick house, it's all very cute. It's not ivy or, I don't know what it is. It doesn't really matter. But she recently had some electrical work done,

and when they were in the roof, they were like, the vines are like all in the roof, like all in the roof. Like, they have, they've breached, and it's a fire hazard. Yeah. So she's having to get all of that removed. And then when she was doing that, there was a day where she's like, in the house, this was like last week. And then she, like this tradie almost falls off his ladder.

Near death. Like up, kind of on the exterior of the house, but like clearing everything away. And she runs out and he's like, there's a snake there's a snake on the roof and she's like oh my god like

I mean it better a snake than a rat because she would have She didn't like rats No oh my god no And then she's like well you have to get up there

and get it you have to go and get it I can't get it No one was asking you to get in the ceiling and get the snake snake. So then the tradie goes back up the ladder, like moves it so he can just like observe what's going on. And he's like, I think it's dead. I think it's dead. It's like in the gutter. And she's like finding him a stick to like poke the snake to see if it's dead. Also, that's not his job. No. No, no it's not. A trade is not a snake removalist. No. I think he was,

I think it was still like he was one of the sparkies. Like they were still finishing that work anyway. he gets a stick and pokes it and it is a toy snake that the previous owners had put on the roof to scare birds away. Oh, Matt, there you go. That's what I was talking about. Yeah, rubber snakes out. But who knew?

Maybe real snakes would be better. Yeah. Well, and more like Indiana Jones style. Yeah. Oh, I didn't have to be snakes. That's what the pigeons will be saying. But then mother, Um, the tradie was like, well, here you go.

He's this toy snake that's been in a roof. And she was like, oh, no, oh, well, take it away. Oh, no, no, no. She was like, oh, no, we can keep it up there. That's great. Oh. Um, and now she's positioned it. I've just sent a photo.

She's positioned it somewhere else just to make sure that they don't come too close because there's actually been a lot of bird poo on her veranda. So this might help out. I mean, this. Wow. It does look real. It does. It does.

It's got a tiny bit of moscow. growing on it. Yeah, but it seems ashened, like it doesn't look like the vibrant colors of a toy. It seems like real colors of a disguised snake. Yes. Could have been in the gutter for 20 years. Yeah, probably. And it's fighting mothra, a giant moth made out of steel. It's also on her balcony. Mecca mothra. Um, well, you know, we used to get cockatoos on our balcony all the time, but like, those guys are cuns. Like, they eat the wood. Yeah. They don't just flap around and shit, which is also annoying. If you put a rubber snake up there, they eat the snake.

Yeah. That's it. They'd fly away with it. Cockatoos are so cool, but also terrifying. And very loud. And the way they screech like old dinosaurs through the hills. Very much. It's pretty cool, but like...

It's pretty cool. I'm cool with it. It's cool. Like, it's what I want birds to be like. But it's crazy. Oh, my God. That they're allowed to do that. Who's...

There's no regulations. I happen they be left unchecked. Yeah. No one's killing. killing them. Do you guys know the like the the um like cacapo in New Zealand? Yeah. I love that bird. That one looks like a dinosaur doesn't it? It does and it's green and it eats the rubber off cars. Sucked in. Well do you know that the guano that comes off the bats in Darwin can sizzle through the finish on cars and so people have to get this like special coating to stop their cars from being dissolved by the bat ship.

Wow. Yeah. That's cool. Isn't that crazy? It's fucking prehistoric times up there In old Darwinia I want to go It's fun I want to see crocodiles Crocasaurus Cove I just think it's so wild

That like there is a place In Australia that has like The most gorgeous tropical weather The beaches are stunning The as your blue sea And the weather is always amazing And no one can swim Like, what do you mean?

And everyone's just like, yeah, that's fine. Because you will get ripped apart by prehistoric monsters. Like, everyone swims in just, like, tiny little pools. And no one has, like, everyone looks at the beach, runs on the beach, hangs out of the beach, but you can't go in the water. And there's also killer fucking jellyfish. It's like, everyone's just agreed that like, nah. You know, it's their home too. Yeah.

Well, no, it's only their home. Yes. They're like, it's like one of the few places where you're like, no, nature one. I like that. Yeah, it's just wild. It's like funny when you think about like what the economy of Darwin would look like if that wasn't the case, if it was like luxurious resorts and things. Or if the crocodiles took over the resorts.

And it had a little bowties. Yeah, they were like the gatekeepers to the ocean. Yeah. They're like, yep, you can go in because you've paid. Well, the worst part is these crocodiles, if you don't pay, we eat you. they're in the waterways and they're in the beach like there's just nowhere they can't go yeah nothing they can't do only the sky and if they ever discover the sky it's over i'd love to see crocodiles in a little blimp wearing those like um those like goggles yeah steampunk goggles

yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and a little neck scarf well that's it i think hale miazaki's taking the call right oh that's good ah well Um, did you see that the American Homeland Security, um, TikTok released a, um, promotional video that featured Ash Ketchum, um, catching them all, because indeed, they need to catch them all. The immigrants? Yeah. Oh my God. And then the Pokemon company released a statement being like, this was not done without permission.

and this is outrageous. Also, Ash Ketchum is an immigrant. Wait, is he? Well, he spends his life traveling from town to town. Yeah, true. I don't think the people of Viridian City are like, get him out of here. You know what I mean?

And he's taking animals across borders. But that officer Jenny, she'd be like, got to catch them all. Get the fuck out. Yeah. Yeah. And it does take him a while to get access to the SSN. They're like, where are your papers?

Yeah, true. True. true that day you'll get out of here isn't it outrageous I also just hate like I think it's fun

when like a company can have a bit of a personality online I spend many a night laughing about Burger King's witty retorts like sometimes when it's it's like yeah

you know why not why not but maybe not but maybe not when it's like Homeland Security oh you mean like destroying people's lives

tearing families apart, sending them back to particularly, potentially dangerous places. Yeah. That one, I don't get behind, funny enough. Locking human beings up like cattle. Yeah, it's not great. And it's also not what happens on Pokemon. No, well, unless you're a Pokemon. Well, yeah. In which case, you're, yeah.

It's prison. Yeah. But don't you think that, like, Professor Oaks' backyard where they all get to hang out when they're not, you know, forced to battle each other to death. Looks like quite a nice time. Yeah, but you know. We know what they mean. It has a toll.

Yeah. I mean, that's it. I think everyone's complicit in the Pokemon system. Oh. But yeah, whatever. You cares. I just think it's so sad when like the jingoistic, fucking awful racist. racist mentality of the American government meets up with the awful, disgusting millennial core humor.

And they combine. Yeah. And we get disgusting jingoistic memes using kind of 90s core things. Oh, God, it's so tragic in two fronts. It's very grim. Yeah. Ugh. Like we used to have, you know, racist propaganda that at least had some design.

Jesus. You know? Right? Yeah. You know, when Mao was doing his revolution, at least that, you know, strong branding of the red, you know. It was good. Oh, yeah. Well, I'll look at your little mushroom socks.

Oh, you'll notice. Aren't they adorable? There's mushrooms on my socks, just so the world knows. I'm fun. And silly, but they're a nice navy blue. So they're not, they, you, yes. Oh, God. I have two of the same sock on today.

Yeah. Oh, good for me. You're so crazy. The gray. Anyway, Zelda. Yeah. How does the world end? Okay, so I recently did a fun little online purchase.

And it was a hydraulic press. You bought a hydraulic press? Yeah, a gigantic one. Do you have many diamonds you're trying to get rid of? Well, no, I'm trying to get rid of planet Earth. And so I've lined it up under my jacket. gigantic hydraulic press, and slowly but surely, I'm going to squeeze the life out of this planet and see at what point it shatters.

Yeah. Like the Vogue on Destroyer's Ship in Hitchhiker's Guide to the... Yeah. What? Do you know what? I started watching this adorable, sorry, husband, this adorable, you know, 40-something British straight man who does kit bashing um YouTube's kind of like Studson Studios his name's Greg Larson is that called like kit bashing well right I think it is it's where you like take pieces of things and turn them into other things or trash bashing or something I don't know

I didn't uh but his name I think it's it's Greg but it's spelt gregg um a scratch building Greg Johnson making And he makes little props, like imagined props, like the, you know, tripods from, you know, it's the end of the world. Everyone better watch out. And the Hitchhack is going to the galaxy as per description in the plot and then in the book. And then, you know, it's just so cute. Anyway, so on the back of that, I was like, found him on Instagram.

And I just have a message being like, I just love you. videos they've been so good and um because he's putting so much effort in as well yeah he's great and then um he responded and was like i loved you on your season of drag race oh my god if you ever need any props or anything let me know and i was like that's dangerous bitch because i will absolutely rope you in yeah um because we're definitely going to get him to do some props hell yeah but isn't that so sweet that's cool what a lovely man But that does mean that I'm reaching my core audience. True.

Awkward men in their 40s. Yes. The craft. Oh, I like that. Oh, so lovely. You didn't say anything about when I sent you the Blacktail Ranch channel. So, like, you know. And he's not saying anything now.

Have you seen, like, the Blacktail Studios, like, that would work a guy? like bald guy who like makes i don't know like a big table oh yeah and then so he's bought property and now he's like setting up i watched an episode oh and then i thought why did she send me this it's fun it's fun what is he doing because it's like right at the start so like he's had this like youtube channel for years and he like makes furniture and he's like a sarcastic asshole um but now he has like divorced from his partner and has this new property where he's like going to set up he's like ultimate like woodworking studio um but it's going to be like so cool and he's got all this land he's going to like make stuff i mean listen we'll see we'll see what

he comes up with but i think i was just not take i was like what are we doing i worked under the presumption that you'd already been watching the woodworking videos because he's certainly abrasive like he sucks i just i think very arrogant and thinks that he's top shit but he kind of is so that's how that's happened um but if you've you've now got the hurdle of like getting acclimatized to him and then the i also want like what's the vision is it going to be a spooky mansion at the end because then what are we doing because i've got christine mcconnell to think about i know just give it a try i'll give it a track i'll give it a track i'll give it a Christine really gets off on withholding.

Yeah. Remember when she bought that house? Yeah. I've not seen all of it yet. She's still working on it. I know, but like, give me more. Room by room. Yeah.

Yeah. What did you think of that like, I don't know how to describe this? They're like the room that was like the little guest room and like the awkward like bed that was like off to the side. Did you see that one? We, you're talking about her old house? No, she read the couch and made the four poster bed that was like built into the wall. No, I am thinking. of that.

That was her old house. That was old house. Which now she rents out on Airbnb. Yeah. Should we go? Oh my God, I'd love to. I'd love to do a trip where it's like state Christine McConnell's Airbnb and then

go to the Trixie Motel, which I think it's like for the shitter's room off season, like $600 AUD. A night. A night. Which I guess is not crazy high if it sleeps too. Maybe that's not crazy. But it's expensive. That is.

I guess it's a novelty. I feel like a room is like $250. I think, though, when Trishty and her husband broke up, you're like, your chances of ever running into Tricksy at that place are now zero. Like, there's nowhere in the world she's going to be less likely to be in a place where she's going to run into her ex-husband. Do they still run the business together? I think so, yeah.

But it was his kind of baby. So I assume that he'll be doing the day to day. Yeah And so it's like When's Tricky Like she'll pop in maybe for the mix At the start of pride season At Palm Springs

But like She's never gonna go back there Absolutely not Oh Yeah Okay So we get into it Yeah hydraulic press

Cool What point do you think It will stop being squeezed out And start to crack I don't think The Earth has got much going on As far as like It's integrity

Yeah A lot of it's mud right It will be after the present We'll be right back Hello and welcome back It's us again The thing you're listening to We're still here

What's the category, Zelda Moon Okay up for discussion today our first category is which year which year goes into the bunker 2005 is not going to make it why

I don't know no one's thinking about 2005 no what I've been happened yeah I can't even think about how like I have no wistful feelings for 2010

no even though that's my 1980s if I was born you know in the 1960s do you know what I mean I've like if you were thinking about 2010 you'd actually be thinking about like 2012 2012 has like staying power do you think 2012 has the most iconic of the teens

no 2018 2018 yeah whoa have we just stumbled upon a universal truth 2018 is like why is that so iconic I don't know but that's like the year of the 2010s for sure I agree Matt what do you think yeah the most iconic out of all the years Of the teens, yeah. Oh, the 20 teens. 2012 was good. 2011. 2011.

That's crazy. No, that's crazy. Sorry. Okay, and then in the, like, the noughties. I mean, okay. So. I guess 2001. Yeah.

Like something like early where it's like. Yeah, I mean, like the first three are all Lord of the Rings. Or 9-11 Oh, right And then And then 2006 is when I was my last year in high school So like that Has staying power in my mind

But it's not really about me It really is This is your podcast Well, I don't have you say so Does it have to be Is it a 2000 do you think? No No, no no

I'm just saying like Of the years that I've been around for I'm like it's crazy like obviously 1969 and like 1999, like all these iconic years. And it's like the ones where I was like

full, you know, adult. Yeah, have not really like being iconic. No. What about like 10,000 BC? 10,000 BC?

I don't really like, my sense of time is already kind of off just in the kind of time that I've perceived. But like my sense of time in a broader scale is like, Diva,

I couldn't even tell you. Yeah. Like, I'm like, what do you mean? I remember? What do you mean by that? Like, I don't, like, if someone's like, oh, like, we are now the same distance from when the pyramids were built as when Tutankhamen was alive. Oh, right.

And it's like, what? Yeah. Like, as soon as we leave, like, you know, like, even the kind of, like, 17th century, I'm like, I can't really conceive of that versus the, like, 14th century. I think it's. So rude. So much different. Like,

Right. So different. Obviously. I've been listening to lots of history podcasts and audio books. That's because you have a child and you're a man. It's so good. It's like putting things in a time, in a chronological order for me. And it's so interesting to think about.

Like, because like, yeah. I mean, the last 30 years have been like so much more. so much faster in terms of technological advancements. We're making history faster than we have had before. Yeah. Like Madonna doing that interview recently. Unbelievable. Yeah.

But like for literally thousands and thousands of years, we were just crawling around in the dirt. Yeah. Some of us still do. Like that guy we saw ass up today at the running track. Oh my God. He was. But anyway, back to Rembrand. I'm sorry, what are we talking about?

No, but I agree. I mean, I was talking to my husband, Curgeon, and he was like, he was saying, because we're talking about this kind of general malaise that we're living through where it's like, it feels like, you know, we're at the end of the world, the end of time.

I think a lot of people share that feeling of doom, apathy in doom. Dr. Doom. That's almost like that's the kind of inciting incident for this podcast. The core tenant. But the, he was like, I think it is just swings and roundabouts.

I think we kind of, it's cyclical. Like, we as a culture kind of always think we're at the end of time. To which I said, I agree to a certain extent, but I also think, like, we have never lived at this speed before as a species. Like, as you're saying, Matt, like, the way we've lived even, like the way that the whole of humanity has changed in the last hundred years is just like unprecedented, the speed. Yeah, the speed of change.

At which, like, we've gone from, you know, an agricultural society to an industrialized society. And then, like, as soon as we hit the industrial age, this, like, it's just like, and now we're in the digital age. And it's like, oh, my God. I don't even know if that's really Elon Musk or is that just a computer, it made a vision that looks like him. I may not have to put that up with that in the 14th century.

Sometimes I think. like what a person from a hundred years ago would think about society today because you know like we see a lot of TV shows that are all like the future and sci-fi you know alien earth imagining what you know society will look like even in another hundred years let alone like maybe a thousand years good luck but like if you think about all the things that we've got around us right now

and the way that even just cars are designed friends and someone from a hundred years ago would look at all of this stuff and just be like so overwhelmed yeah well they would say wet wet just never stopped screaming they probably would just scream and that person would be my friend yes i'd love to you know what if i could take a celebrity to dinner it would be that person from a hundred years ago that filthy peasant going wait wait i just want to hear what they have to say she or knows exactly what to say. She loves Julian McMahon, and you say, he's a demon.

He's not a witch. Yeah. If I could just take one moment to clarify something with you. I was learning today on Tinktonk that chimneys were not really a reality in peasant homes many moons ago. See, once again, I just say many moons ago, because who knows? It could have been 10 years. It could be 10,000. Because the mortar to construct a chimney was quite expensive at the time.

Um, so instead they would just have a hole with a latch in the center of their, um, their, um, you know, kind of hay and wood home. Yeah. And they would just, you know, let it out the smoke hole because they couldn't have a chimney. Wow. I'm like, imagine if you lived through that like 300 years where we didn't have chimneys. Yeah. I think about that sometimes with like London and how they used to throw like shit out the window or whatever. Yeah.

Oh, man, what happens if you're walking down the street? That is the one thing you miss. on like, you know, madman or whatever, like the scent. What would the scent of the 1970s and 60s have been? Cigarette smoke. And it would have just been the smell of cigarettes and like, lead. And hot dogs. Yeah.

Hot dogs. Have a hot dog for lunch? Actually, Anne. Have a hot dog for dinner. Anne? Anne. And, other Anne. Oh.

And what's her last name? That cleaning woman on TikTok. But she was talking about in the, I don't know, maybe the, 60s. Yeah, probably the 60s. Well, definitely the 60s. She was like everyone used to smoke. Everyone was smoking in the 60s. And so much so that she regaled with this fabulous little story where she went to go and see Alien when it first came out. Cool. And there was the smoking section, the non-smoking section at the cinema, which was just like a split down the center of the room. And she and her friend who were 12 years old at the time went to go and see the film.

Yeah. And she said, she was like, at that time, you wouldn't know anything about what was going to happen in the film. Yeah.

There was no spoilers. There was no additional information. You just saw a poster and it said alien. And you went to go and see that film. Yeah. And then when the chest burst

to scene happened, everyone in the smoking section gasped. And all their cigarettes that were in their mouth glowed orange. And so there was just one side of the room

where it was just these like, pinpoints of orange as everyone was like that's so cool is that amazing yes oh what an image oh I like that yeah wait well you did alien come out we should do that year 69 yeah wait what it was in the 80s no alien alien was like early oh oh 19709 so that's good 79

if we did 1969 it would be like oh oh But, I mean, I would love to put in a prehistoric era year, just because that's funny. They count those years in millions of years, though. You'd have to put in a whole Cretaceous period or something. Well, I mean, that's perhaps what I was going. Paleozoic. Yeah. No, pick one year.

Okay, the year 2000. Because no year has had the stakes of 2000. Like such an event. It's an event. They said, I came from the year 3,000. 2,000. You know, like Y2K and the Millennium Bug and just like the, you know, like no one knew what would happen at that point in time. Whereas like, I know what will happen when we go to year 2026, not much.

It's going to be a new day. But when we went from 1999 to 2000, there was such a mystery. There was a lot of anticipation. Yes, and like, I don't know, like the Matrix and, and, you know, it was just such a time. The Sydney Olympics. Jennifer Lopez, waiting for tonight. The iPod, the iPod wasn't out though. No, what a good time.

So you'd have to, you'd have CDs, your disc men. CD Dismans, yeah. Disc man. It would be anti-shock. loved that anti-shot Did you like the disc wins where you could see the disc spinning? Yeah, that's so cool.

The colors. Do you know I never had a disc win? Lame-o. Get him. Because we couldn't afford one. Yeah, lame, poor. Yeah, I never had one. Do you know what?

They used to say, there was a time, I guess it was in the later true thousands where you could get like a really cheap disc man from like an Aldi or something for like 30 bucks or something oh there was a time where you could just get a disc man yeah yeah but it was when mp3 players had started kind of hitting the market but they were quite expensive yes yeah yeah no I really went from like tape to iPod that's cool I feel like you would have been the sort of kid that treasured your iPod yes and loved all your little and would have kept your album out in order it was immaculate

like and i had to manually make them all yeah yeah nightmare yeah god i loved that mine would be like premium beat dot com or whatever like like for like the name of the song yeah yeah it would be like a website address and then like something else just whatever you've downloaded off lime wire yeah literally the lime wire would be like yeah There's so many, like, whenever I listen to the Josin' the Pussycat soundtrack, I'd also be like, Josie the Pussycats only in cinemas this fall. Like, because...

Yeah, it was just ripped off a trailer that was randomly put in or like some weird live version of a Regina Specter song. That, like, yeah, a day and a half to download online where... Oh, my God. Yeah. So we have dial-up into... So we're including all the things from this year or just the year That's what the year is.

It's a good year, which year? Maybe it should be like year, like 76,542. Wait, what did you say? In the future. Yeah. Because that year will come. We don't know what the vibe of that year is going to be. Oh, you might not know, but that's a celestial goddess.

I can say it's pretty good. Seeing all the time and space at the same time. Yeah. You just wait. I mean, you won't be able to. But that's why we'll put it in the bunker. It's got a good vibe. Yeah.

The same anticipation is 2000. Well, nothing can really match that. Except maybe 3,000. Yeah, that, if we get to 3,000. 3,000's pretty cool. Things are going to be wild. What do you think happened in the year 1,000? Like, would they like...

I'm interested by that, like... Yeah, I don't think I do so well. if I went back in time I don't think I'd be helpful to anyone you send the right person back in time you could invent everything you could be Edison you could do it all yeah you send me back in time

I'd be like have you guys thought about maybe light bulbs and they'd be like how and I'd be like lightning like bunnings probably like a little swirly bit and then like the glass on the put in a glass bulb like what innovation could I bring to them. They didn't even have even have glass back then. Like I could definitely bring them germ theory. Like I'd be like don't like you got to clean your hair. Yeah. Which is a new concept. Yeah.

I could teach them about the danger. You'll get put into a mental asylum. That's what the guy who discovered germs got. That's what happened to him. Really? Yeah, he was like telling everyone that there's like tiny creatures everywhere. Well, it depends how you sell it. Yeah. I mean, it was so paranoid. I don't think I could convince anyone that the world isn't flat if I went back. Like, how? Because, like, I'm not Galileo. I'm not going to be like, oh, you can tell by the way that, like, you know, the stars

move across the sky that the world, I'd be like, I don't know, like, look. It's kind of... Can't you see? Like, look at the curvature. Yeah. Let's go to a big, empty field. And then you tell me it's flat. It's like, check it out. Look. See?

Exactly. Yeah. So I'm like... In fact, you've actually unconvinced me. Maybe fossils. I could tell them about dinosaurs, but I don't know how to prove that. I actually wouldn't know what to do. Yeah, okay. What would you do if you went back in time?

I mean, you'd die of some fucking wasting disease. Yeah, but before then, I'd like to be treated like a god. But you'd have to provide an innovation. Yeah, prove it. I think we're pretty convincing. They wouldn't even be able to understand you in old English. Oh. Where they're like, you're like, you're like, hello.

And you'd be like, Humpty, tomtie, don't, tompty. Yeah. I'd be like, Slayditch, work it. Yeah, you'd, I feel like we would have a negative impact on the future of language. Yeah. Yeah. And I couldn't even, like, sit down and be like, I guess I could read and write, but not their language.

Hmm. I could. I don't know. Yeah. I couldn't even, like, write, like, a Beatles song, like, in that film yesterday. you can't remember all the words I'd be like yesterday and they'd be like

it doesn't sound very good I'm like you should hear them do it I'd be like come in and see the good good good guys pay cashable slash low prices na la la la la

yeah I don't know how they would respond to that in the year 703 oh what you're doing I don't like those Uber ads where shares going back in time to me

evil time i don't like that either i'm like leave share alone i'm like i'm not i'm not i'm not i'm not i also think like share like is very selective about the project she does but the project she does are that uberad the bobblehead movie and mamma mia here we go again like i'm like could you like the paycheck must be nice yeah but there's like surely she's getting more opportunities Like I'm sure she's been offered And she's like a fucking amazing actress So it's like Why don't you just go and work with like

I don't know Paul Thomas Anderson or something Like have Some integrity Have like do some good shit Madonna Do some good shit chair She's like

I just want to do whatever I want Sure Sure Okay Oh God I'm just looking at um share no different different years so because there's like obviously like the mesozoic era is like the queen of like triassic Jurassic and Cretaceous what do you think you're going to get out of that year

but like we're all too stupid to understand that like forever you know scientists whatever being like triceratops and stegosaurus were not ever friends they were like 75 million years apart or whatever which to which i say have like party poopers you know what do you mean like i'll just let us have fun let us just believe that all the dinosaurs are at the same time no one's we know that they weren't but like come on you know like you want the image so to pinpoint yeah a year of like prehistoric times is quite difficult because, like, you're, you're not actually going to get what you want. Yeah. Because they were also disjointed.

And very long amount of time. But what I was looking at this full was to see when, like, something chic and slightly more modern, like a woolly mammoth. Like, what year does she appear? You want a woolly? That's during the Ice Age. There people were around with the more woolly mammoths. Yes. That was like...

Not that long ago. 100,000 years ago. Yeah. You lived during the time of the elephant. And Sabretooth Tigers. What is... Oh, my God. You only want it because you don't have it.

Oh, the mower. God, that's a mower. Like Britney Spears. Give me, gimme mower. It's like mow your lawn. The big bird from New Zealand. Oh, come on. Just forgot about that already.

I vote for the year 2000. Yeah, I think that's cool. Yeah, I mean, I think like... It's obvious, but it's cool. Oh, it's obvious. Well, it's like, it's not... You were saying 2011. I was just going off a vibe of how it sounded rolling off the tongue.

Do you think that next year is going to be the best year of your life, Matt? Yeah. Really? No. Oh. I don't know. Zeldia, do you think next year is going to be the best year of your life? 2026 feels very like hump.

Hump, yeah. Like, it's orange. It's like... Orange. Nothing. Yeah. 2025 is like, wow, that's a year. Do you feel like this has been a year?

No, it's been a terrible year. You think you've had a bad year? I mean, me personally? Yeah. Yes. Really? This has been one of the worst years of my life. Really?

What? Yes. You haven't taught us this. Yeah. I tell you this every week in my own unique way. I just assume that's your characteristic malaise. Oh, my God, no, I've had like the worst fucking year. Oh, Zelda.

But like 2025 had so much promise Because it's something like For me personally Yes Um Like Or is it all just being bad? No

There's like pros and cons Yeah But I would Pretty safely say this has been the worst year of my life Oh my God Yeah What are we going to do about that? Well it's almost over

Your life No the year Well yeah But 2026 has like no pizzazz But maybe that's what makes it good It takes the pressure off Exactly Exactly

But How are we gonna make your life better Do you need money? What do you need? No Nothing But 20207 Feels like

That's your year I hate seven's really upset me Really I love seven see like six and eight upset me so eight is so whole no and a pair of tears well that's true but no like 27 will be great but 26 and 28 and then oh see i couldn't disagree more sevens feel so i like have a very strong mental block about the number seven i love like if a number is about to equal seven or something ending in seven my brain can't access it it takes like five minutes longer to be like you know because seven's like two you know

Yeah. Yeah. I have to think about it as five plus two in order to I get to it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, I don't just think of seven, whereas eight I think about all the time. No, I try to not think about eight. Eight's probably my least favorite number. Really?

Closely followed by six. Six? Yeah. Six is so friendly. No. Six is nothing. What do you mean? Just be five.

Five is fabulous. Be seven. But five feels very like work. six feels fabulous five feels like she's always part of everyone's business she's got a lot to do and she's pointy

yes and people get rounded to five yeah so like I don't know that we landed on five by our choice you know just remember that five it's like she's kind of she pops in when she needs to be but she's so like she's got that big belly

No, I feel like 6 is like Okay, well there's a long way till 10 If you're at 6 No, we're just 4 away No Better than 5 Yes, but 5 you can like stand on 5 And

But then 7, it's like where are we It's the Wednesday of them 5 to 10 Yeah, but you're not at 6 Yeah, thank God Oh No, that's why 8 is so good Nine is great Nine is fantastic

Nine is like Maybe we should do 1999 I mean Oh, because then it's It's like you live in the anticipation of the Friday of the years. Yes. It is a good one. I think, yeah, I think that one has got a better ring to it.

It's a thousand. Let me go back, back to 1999. A lot of songs about it. My dad was a simpler time. Loves the 60s and 70s. Yeah. He's obsessed with them. Like they're really like it.

How old was he then? He was born in 1959, so he had his childhood in the 60s, and then he came of age in the 70s. And then I think the 80s, although it's really funny because my parents managed to kind of avoid all the music that's cool now that kind of came up in the 80s. Like they managed to not get into disco. Like my mom hated disco. I'm like, what do you mean? You know, like how there was that whole disco sucks thing. that was such a big thing.

And I was like, you guys, like, and they were into, like, folk and, like, rock and roll. So, like, Janice Joplin, not Grace Jones. Yeah. Grace Jones famously, not loved by my family. A lot of people are talking about it. But, yeah, my dad, obviously, back at that radio fundraiser, like, his level of intolerance towards new music is, should be studied. Wow.

He just, he's, and he goes on these, like, insane rants about how, like, shit new music is. And it's just like, you know, I really hope I never end up doing that. Yeah. Becoming that cliche. I've, like, I think we're fine because we're gay. Yeah. Gay men have, like, an endless, like, we're just obsessed with the new. Yeah, it's like, oh, a woman singing?

I love that. Yeah. Like, oh, you could be like this older woman that I always. also love. You're the new generation of that woman. Yes. Thanks, Ariana Grande. Yes, but we don't despise you for not still being the other woman. Yeah. Because, you know what, that other woman's probably still going.

Yeah. Madonna just did that interview. Share just did, here we go again. And that Uber Eats ad. Fucking Uber Eats ad. Okay, so. I'm into 1999. I'm just trying to imagine where I was.

I was eight years old. Oh. Thinking about the future and what it is. See, that's the same. time, that's probably, like, that's the same sort of nostalgia that probably you'll have that your dad has for the 60s and 70s, because it's the same age. Yeah, yeah. I, but that I don't currently have for my, like, I guess I, I loved my early 20s, but I wouldn't say I love them because it was that era. Like, I didn't love them because Red Fu and LFAAO were like huge.

Like, that's something I'm excited to, like, or like, I mean, like, I guess I, I love it but in a kind of disparaging god that was like i can't believe we got through that mustache tattoo era yeah um yeah uh although you know what i have felt myself having like twangs of warmth towards like early indie slees stuff like i'm like oh that was fun you know drinking a chile latte under graves kind of yeah that's of shush. True. I wonder if people still do that.

There's so many people in the city when you go in. There must be, like, kids still doing that. I don't know where the children are. I think that. Now that I'm back in the city every day, I'm like, I don't know where it's cool. Yeah. I don't even know.

Yeah. And how do you find that out by going out? Oh, well, I'm not doing that. Yeah. No. That's good. Got to become 17 again. We've got cool houses now.

We didn't have. true true we had to get out of the house to find somewhere good to go yeah now we can make our house like the grave street yeah maybe that's why i like being there so much but i think we're like you know it's like these things kind of have their peaks and their valleys and i think like nightlife in general and like cool hip places are having a bit of a valley at the moment yeah like i don't think there's like a new it gal that's like i'm going to throw the party yeah no Unless we just don't know about that, which is fine. Maybe we should throw it.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you should throw that. Maybe that would cure your enwee. Yes. Which is now how I'm referring to the worst year of your life. I like that. It's a good challenge to the universe.

Give her a worse year. She loves this. Yeah. 2026 is shaping up to be a real bummer. That's fine. I agree on 1999, but I do just want to say, what if we did like six? Six. Ninety-nine six.

No, no, no, no, no, six. Six what? Like the year six. A.D. Yeah. After David? That is so weird. What is AD?

Well, I mean, it's a bad time back then. It's like before Christ, after death. It's all about Jesus. No, it was not, yeah, the Romans, no, we don't want to go back then. No, I know, but I just think it's funny to be like, imagine if you were in a year. three it has a nice ring

I'm just writing down the date for my tablet What's the Thursday? The term tablet that is The Thursday It's like what year is it again Oh yes

Thursday year three Yeah Like That's so weird Yeah we don't have to be like In that part of the world though True It could be in Australia

In Darwin Darwin Yeah Darwin in the year three I'll tell you what, I would love to see pre-colonized Australia. Like, right? It would be so beautiful. You can see a lot of it.

Right, but there's like... Still a lot of areas that are pretty untouched. There's a lot of like grasses and things that arrived, you know, with kind of the agricultural white settlement that like have now, like the Victorian countryside will just never look the same. Yeah, there's a lot of paddocks and stuff. But if you get out into the actual outback of... Outback or whatever. In the desert maybe, but like...

But those areas aren't that interesting anyway. Like the Dananong ranges. Imagine being able to go like into the low temperate rainforests of Tasmania. Yes. And like walk around and be like, oh my God, this is just completely untouched. Yeah. Yeah. Cool.

Very cool. Okay. So what? Yeah. Nine-99. Let me go back. Brick-nan-nan-nan-nan. Yeah.

I think that's good Okay Yeah Well the bunk is set in the year 1999 And we're right back Goodbye Goodbye

Hello You It's time For the next topic of discussion Which is Which lock Pose into the bunker? A very good question. Because we have a lock on the bathroom here at the

Studra in the celestial car. And it's one of those, it's like a, it's like the little metal arm. It's like a cabin hook. A cabin hook. Yes. With a sliding door. Yeah. Yeah. What do you think of pocket doors? What's that? Like the door in the bathroom here. Yeah, like sliding. Oh, into the wall cavity. Yeah. I like that. I just think that they're like... No, I don't like them. I love the theory.

Star Trek. But then they never... There's been no developments. They just never, like, have a satisfactory clothes. You can't, like, slam it without looking crazy. True. And you can't really... Like, unless you go to snail's pace,

you can't, like, silence the... Yeah. The bull bearings on the little track or whatever. Yeah. True. And you know what? I also don't like about some of them is like the soft closure. Like, I'll decide.

Yeah. When it's soft. When it like slows down and you're like, oh. And I wanted to like snapshot like, like a vault door. Yeah. So I recently installed a cabin hook on my like drag room because the wind always blows that door open. I just did that the other day. The spirits.

Very, you know, Nicole Kidman in the other. a few. Keep the nose luck at all times. My children, the wig, because they cut sheep. My big

witch's hat has faded because I had it in the window. What are you going to do at the wicked screening? Oh,

well, not that hat. My other witch's hat. I'm sorry. Yeah, there's a few. Of course. You know that, like, the one? What?

It doesn't matter. So, so Locke from Final Fantasy six he's a great thief he's they all carry big oh no that's sorry go on but he

he was a thief and his name was luck could you imagine do you like him his personality is good he's fucking hot he's fucking hot yeah he was great you look him up look him up also imagine being in Final Fantasy 6

that is like sorry to the rest but she's kind of the queen um okay so I'm seeing a man in a bandana right he's wearing a bandana I am a fear that people that do cosplay have kind of ruined how I think this man might speak in real life. He's wearing leather pants, big white boots, combat boots. Who taught you that word, Matt?

Was it us? He's holding a scimitar or like some sort of curved sword doubles. Because what I fear, you'll just... He's got a belt. I need to make sure that you're looking at the pixel version, because that is more really important. It's more real. Yeah, okay. I'm just going to send that because that's the reference.

Okay. Anyway, here's not the choice, but I just wanted to bring him up. His last name is Cole. Yeah. Coal. That's hot. So he's a contender. I love a lock that has like a keyhole.

Wait, so I'll just talking about the. like the 16-bit kind of version of him. Well, because it's the only version of him, really. Everything else is just like the concept art. This is what I was looking at. That's what you've happened to. Look at his arms. And he's like silvery hair.

And that pixel that represents his entire eye. And like look at how like cuffed his jacket is. I guess. Yeah, he's hot. As if. Look at that. Oh, God. Anyway.

What about Locke from Last? Oh, yeah. Okay, so I need to look so sweet. Yeah. Yeah. It's who like John Locke. He was in a wheelchair and he was in that plane crash. Yes, yes.

No, not him. He was creepy. Played by Terry O'Quinn. Terrio Quinn. But yes, love like a keyhole. Yeah, like an Skeleton key. Yes. I mean, I do love old school keys with locks.

Yes. Like big keys on a key chain like you're in the others. Yeah. That is so good. When I got this house, that's the keys, you know. I got a key chain with all these weird locks that don't lock anything. I do find something a bit haunted about keys you don't know what they go to? Yes.

Oh. Yes. That's so scary. Yes. Especially if it's like, these are the keys to your house And you're like, well, which door is this for? And I'm like, try it. I'm sorry, that was just the previous owner left that in their suicide now.

And you pull down like a section of wall and there's a door behind it. Right? There's like a, you know, that vent has a lock on it. Why? Why would a vent need a lock? Scary. Why would a loss need a lock? Because he was the spy.

of season three because that's why what do you think about like padlocks I think that the the lock picking lawyer from TikTok has taught me that locks don't mean shit

padlocks are just a suggestion you know like I like I learned from somewhere that you can take two spanners to open any padlock and you just jam them into the space on the inside of the metal

you and then you like jimmy them open you can just basically force it open wow it's incredible and i did that when i was trying to break into this fence this place in darwin oh dear oh no because it was like on the property where kudgeon was living it was just no one had the key to this lock uh-huh and i was like wow i want to get to the tool shed anyway but it was so satisfactory and i was like this is so easy locks don't mean shit wow what about bike lock Yeah I hate that So ugly

Thing that you have to carry Everywhere you go And it's heavy And then when it's on It always looks bad I hate when they have The little sleeve on them So you don't get your fingers

All oily Or caught in the chains Grow up What do you think About those ones That's just like a U shape That's the clean I hate there's even more

You hate those even more Because it really confuses me How to like Thread it through correctly You know And you have to like Thread it through the wheel So that they don't steal

the wheel and thread it through the so many rules we must have talked about this recently but like obviously locks on diaries for little girls we did talk about this recently yes I mean I had one on my diary

I'll lock on your little diary sensitive little boy it was like a spy diary oh I thought you meant your current diary oh no when I was like eight do you keep a diary nowadays, Matt?

I don't. I just remember everything. I don't need to write it down. I think that and then I don't remember a single thing. Do you keep a diary? No. No, I did for about three months, maybe five years ago.

It's good to do the stream of consciousness in the morning. I was just like, I'm going to write like a single sentence or two just about what actually happened on the day. And then I found that incredibly, depressing when I went back to look at it and I was like oh yeah better to forget yes better to not know yeah but I forget so much shit I like went through and I was like oh my god I forgot that I had nose surgery oh my god you know what a time yeah I was in hospital that nose you had fixed she heard me talking about it

Um, did the hospital room that you stayed in have a lock on it? Yeah. And what did you think about that lock? I don't like locks built into handles, I've got to say. Yeah, you want it to be separate. You know what lock I hate the most? Yeah. You go into someone's bathroom, you're at their house.

Yeah. The neck, you look at the handle. It's just like, you know, you're like, oh, I've got to take a moment. And there's that little button. Yeah. And it's just like, do. And you're like, is it locked? And then you pull the handle.

handle to check and it snaps out of place and you're like oh and it opens you're like wait is it locked or not i so you close the door again you press the button you're like i need someone from the outside to jimmy the handle yes check if it's locked yes but how would i ever know i until it's too late hate that like you know you can lock it and then without closing the door and just check you don't have to lock yourself in and then get someone else to check it from the outside What? That's a free life that you can have. Oh, my God.

Well, the show is cancelled. Cut that out. Cut that out. I was just about to say, like, when public toilets have the same thing, and you're like, well, when I open it, it springs open, so you never know. Oh, God. Wow. Oh, uh, guys are smart.

Smart cookies. Oh, yeah. Oh, I'd love a cookie. Oh, I love a cookie with smarties on it. That's a great suggestion, that thank you. That's all I took away. Um, oh, I, people walking in on you in the bathroom is the...

I haven't to Zelda yesterday. Oh, I did too. Don't look. Because he didn't lock the stupid little hook lock. Why would I need to lock the door here? Like, I thought. that the toilet flusher was just running continuously but it was you pissing and then I opened the door and you were in there and you were in the studio getting ready to record

putting on your wig sorry about it I would push and piss what do you think about when you have like someone over I think yeah what do you think if they're like go to use your bathroom and they don't close the door and they just piss who is it okay so like the the thing it could be a hookup okay it could be like a friend but there's like potential um all of which i think is like super horny yeah that i'm really into like piss but like no but it brings the the private into the public yes the dick is out and now it's in the same room yeah and it's like you're touching your dick and we're continuing a conversation yeah yeah if like you're still talking, like, loudly, like, asking a question while you're taking a piss, that's hot.

Yeah. I think if it's, like, hookup, incredible. Yeah. Hot. If it's someone who you have romantic potential with, hot. Yeah. Great. Yeah.

If it's some random, you're like, what? Yeah. What do you mean? Yeah. It's, like, so weird and, like, crossing, like. Although, if it's, like, a friend that. I know really well. I'm like, yeah, sure, wear this close.

Yeah. Kind of thing. But I don't think I, oh, it just depends. It just feels too horny to do that to a friend. What if it's a gal pal? Absolutely not. There is no way I would do that to a female friend. No, no, a female friend doing it.

To me. Yeah. She's sitting down to pee. She's chit-chatting. Yeah. Like I've been in a lot of bathrooms with women while they pee. Well, that's true. That would freak me out less than,

just leaving the door open. Like at parties, we're like, they're like, I'm going to pee now. Because it's like, also we spend enough time in like dressing rooms to be like, I just, who cares? Yeah, I don't know. Oh, that's so interesting. But my mother. She doesn't close it?

No. She's like, I created you. It's fine. Like, oh, she does it to my brother as well. It's just weird. Yeah. There's some things that, you know, I need to grow out of. Yeah.

I think as well, yeah, like I, it's not necessarily a rejection or anything, but I think it's just like, it's nice to just have that moment as discussed. Yeah. It's nice to find, to carve out. Yeah. You know. It's some time for me. Sometimes for me.

Yeah. Although at the moment. our bathroom is at the back of the house. It's like obviously an extension from a time before when you would have had the bathroom in the backyard or something. But now it's like enclosed in the house and the house is like pulling away from the wall. It adjoins the house next door and there's clearly just like water coming through from top and water coming up from bottom. It's like just the concrete slab. And so I'm like, I'm desperate to revitalize the bathroom experience at our house because it's now just getting to a point.

where it's like not a nice space yeah it's like gone beyond kind of just like oh this is obviously a shitty sharehouse bathroom to like now it's like oh this is kind of just disgusting like saw chat yeah so I'm like desperate to start doing something to kind of add a bit more life to it but I'm like okay so if I put up some you know removable wallpaper immediately black mold behind that if I paint it immediately it's going to like warp yeah like there's not much you can do when there's like full infrastructural issues yeah so I'm like I don't know what to do I know you know yeah I started cleaning the mold in my bathroom last time hmm because earlier in the year I had like I told the real estate and they sent someone out to get a quote and then I just

never heard anything back um which I probably could have pursued and I probably still could but anyway I thought I'll do it because that's fun that's fun um and I started doing doing it last night and then I quickly realized how not fun it is because it magically wasn't clear. It's like, oh, these fucking spores. Oh. It cleaned some, but I'm like, oh, this is going to be quite an endeavor to get this back. Do you have a little stale knife? Yeah. So you're cutting it out? Cutting out the mold spores? Like out of the gap filler? The eerie place? No, I'm just talking like wall. Oh, just on the wall. Like just the painted walls. You need to bleach it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I was just doing vinegar last night, but I need to like do that. Although sometimes the bleach just bleaches the color of the mold, but the mold is still there. Yes, I've heard about this. Yeah, I told you that. Oh, yes. I don't know where I heard of it.

You can't use bleach. Says Matt, the moldiest man you've ever met. Wait, and you said vinegar, right? Yeah, vinegar. That's what I got. Yeah, but it doesn't. It kills the mold, but it doesn't actually remove the coloration, the discoloration. Oh.

Yeah. So then I should do both. Well, let it settle at least for a while. Yeah. Anyway, I know that this is really interesting listener. I'm all growing on my walls. You and J.K. have that in common. But my bathroom at home has the little like engaged lock on it.

Love that one. Which is very sweet. In your house? Yes. That's so funny. And it has a sign. on it that says toilet with like a little painting of like a little outhouse

Jedd lives at Melbourne Central Station When I moved in I was like I hate these two things about this house Because it makes me feel like I'm not in a house It makes me feel like I'm in like a country cafe Or something But now I find it really endearing And I quite like it

Yeah I think an engaged one is quite chic Yes also no grey area I can see that it's locked I like that love that we aren't all as mystical as Matt knowing about this

you know testing of the door handle and also you shouldn't have to test no I want to know that like this yeah yeah there it is got it about like a safe lock safe like combination log no no like one of those ones you know well I guess yeah like a little you turn a giant wheel

A wheel, and then there's a big sort of ship's steering wheel, an anchor type, like a steering wheel type thing that you spin. I'm always worried that one of those things will trap my hand or my finger and I'll break something. Like, it's too big. Yes. It'd be good if you had one on your toilet. What kind of, the loss that I love. You'd be safe.

Yeah, but then I'd feel like I'd is in a rich Wanker's house who's like, I've got the house from Taken. They did the interior of my room to look like this thing. But the, like a giant block of wood that sits across like a palace gate. You know that? Yes. Love that. What I love that.

Bring that back. Oh, I love that. Imagine going to the bathroom and be like, get the block of wood. I love that. I have like the very watered down version of that. Where, like, so my, two of the windows in the house that I'm in, like on the lounge room and my bedroom, are like sliding windows. So they like slide from like the outside into the middle panel to like reveal the open window. But they don't have any locks on them.

And they're like accessible. So like you could very easily jimmie them open or whatever. You hear that listener? So whenever I will listen up to this because I'm sucked in. use my floralist security I have like a piece of wood that I put in between so then you can't slide them wide enough

yeah yeah which is kind of like a version of that but I think that that piece of wood also like those little hooks that the wood sits in yeah that's fabulous brought iron oh

imagine welding that see that's something you could take back to you know year six that sort of technology yeah right like I invented a lot Yeah.

I think I'd be surprised. I'd be like, wow. I'd slowly grow as I realized I did know some things and I could help. Yeah. You'd say things that people would go, oh, whoa. You'd go, oh, I am a guard amongst you. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Well, I think, I think that lock. Yeah. Big slab of wood. Bit of wood. Okay. Yes. That's the lock that's getting in in the year 2009, 1999. That is so good.

Next. Welcome back, listener. It's time. Hello. Now for Section 3 today, we have a special treat for you. Now, you might remember from a few episodes ago, Thermodynamics, Thermo, sent us an email that we read out. I can't remember the content, but they sent me a follow-up message apologizing, to which I said, no, it was great, whatever it was.

And now they've sent another. God, we can't encourage this kind of behavior. I know. Okay. So I'm going to read this new email for you now. and it's called a thick for reading smiley face to the celestial void and all its inhabitants drivers guests etc is i drag queen author and crazy ex-girlfriend extraordinary thermodynamics once again from the reaches of the past in honor for all your incredible work which i fear is taking over all the free

real estate in my brain please find attached a little two-hander two-hander yeah two-hander for the celestial goddesses to have a romp with how presumptuous I can't tell exactly where I am in time but I feel one defence of this piece may be necessary ahead of a reading what I've created the forgotten room

to spend a little time with some of the less well-appreciated bunker residence knowing that some of their additions may have been forgotten completely by whomst, not me. Not us, including one of our speaking parts. Thus, way back in episode nine at roughly one hour, three minutes, and 50 seconds, you can find both goddesses agreeing that Jude Law Robot from AI gets in alongside Michael B. Jordan.

Hence, my use of him here. Oh, that's good point, good point. We've discussed Michael B. Jordan a lot since, but Jude Law Robot, yeah, I barely remember that. We need to be better about that. I hope you enjoy With Much Love, Thermo Okay

So they've instructed, thank you Thermo That lazy reads for Jake And Zelda reads for Jude Hey Jude Okay And Matt, I assume you can read the big print What does I&T mean? Interior. Interior

Who's Jake? Jake Gyllenhol Oh Who's Jude? So we've got... Just listen! We've got Jake Gyllenha Hall and Jude Law.

Okay. Interior, the forgotten room. Lit dimly by a single glistening, rotting croissant lamp. Jake Gyllenhaul and Jude Law play a game of cards in the forgotten room, using a dust-covered kickbot 5,000 as a table. Both men are visibly in a state of unwashed disarray. Hit me. 22.

Bust. No. Blackjack is 27. What? No, it's not. Dude, it's 21. Jude scoffs, leaning forward to reclaim the pot of voodoo-flavored chips. You lost. Jillon Hall grabs two fingers, pulling his dealer in close enough to whisper while pain renders Jude mute.

No. When we had casinos and hairstylists, it was 21, when things mattered. When Donny Docko could carry you for 20 years, when Brokeback got Oscar Cloud, when you could do a stupid little Marvel movie to retire on, here he eyes the ceiling of their limbo in this matrix ass armory before doesn't matter here's the secret though i've cracked it 27 why do you think all women at reggies insist they're 27 half of them are menopause jude you think tony colette wants to drive around in that fucking jeep no what did you ever read the number plate?

J.P. G.G. 27? And how many fucking sitcom monkeys does that free swimming meg eat every day? 20 fucking seven. There's no logic here. And if you want to get out, you get with the angel numbers or they parry you. Who are?

No, no, no. Jude, you don't want to question. They just want us to be memorable. He squeezes again. I don't want to break them, Jude. but I'll do it. You think Nikki can unbreak them with a vampire clip, huh? How many trips to the needle pit

before the pain goes away? You think they care enough to send you to sick bay? Jude winces. I'm listening. So you want to hear the k-k-again? Smell the petrol? Jeline Hogg holds him in a million-dollar stare,

waits until the pain settles. Next week is the Bill Clinton nanny cameo. You think B. Jordan can do the voice? Come on, Jude. That part's got your name on it. But how are you going to audition from the depths of oblivion? You get 27 going.

You get out. Get into that casting director. Before you know it, you're reading the boss in the mini-mouth vacation like that. He clicks to punctuate like that. Releasing Jude's hand. And you put in a good word for your

old pal Jake Gyllenhaal. And when season four rolls around, who's the natural shoe-in for the Dr. Jack Miller? That's nine episodes, Jude. Jude leans back, unable to stifle his trembling or tear his focus from the furious glint in Jillen Hall's eye. He picks up a single card from the top of the deck, placing it next to Jake's four, queen, and eight. That's five of arts, which makes 27. That's Jack Pot for Old Jayhole. They laugh.

Jake throws voodoo chips and catches them in his mouth. And as the remarkably convincing furor carries on, Jake can't help but cast his eyes up to the single brass air vent in case just maybe a camera, an eye, or some godlike entity might be taking note. Finn. Amazing. The forgotten room

There are many forgotten elements to our bunker Yeah And some of them reside in the forgotten room Did we put Jake Gyllenhaal in the bunker? I think he was sexiest man No, I think he was Taylor Swift's ex Oh Is that right?

Yes, that's correct He's an ex of Taylor Michael B was sexiest man Yeah But then we put Michael B out No, we get Would you even keep him? Yeah, on ice

but then we kicked him out. Oh, he's out. Yeah, he's out. He's gone. That's crazy. Not out in the way you're hoping, listener. He'd be out. Well, that was fun.

That is fun. I love the attention to detail of knowing how many episodes some random person is in. Yes. The nanny. Oh, what fun. And there's a throwback to the needle pit as well. Yes. Oh, yes.

The best sore challenge. It was quite a, well, that's quite good. Yeah. They know their law. Jude Law is British, right? Yeah. Yeah. Thank God.

I wouldn't have said some of those lines how you said them, but I liked your creative input. Well, I didn't know what was coming next. And that's part of the joy of never rehearsing. Do you think if we read it now, it'd be better? No. No. Yeah, we were reading it as it unfolded before us. Yes.

Well, that's quite good. Thank you so much, then, Mal. Mm-hmm. And I think that's it. I think we're just doing that. Yeah. Yeah. I think...

Two topics and a fick. Yep. And Matt's going to do some sound design under that whole. Yes. If you hear sound design, you know that I did it. If you don't, then you know that I didn't. They'll be like the sound of a vent that'll go... And then there'll be like some background music.

and like some like ominous droning sounds cards being shuffled yeah yeah and some like the sound of chairs kind of square as they move around the table yeah yeah um a robotic voice that says kickback 5,000 table yeah don't throw cards at kick card just give me some options but obviously also that voice so it just sounds perfect did you see smile too what did you see smile too yes did you see the kickbot 5 000 that they sent so you know how oh my god you know how they're building the new like smile too railway system in melbourne yes all the new stations and stuff station they have what there's multiple stations i was quoting bill and teds oh god station they have like a little baby kickbot that goes into the tunnels it's like a maintenance bot

what's she looking for like digital bones i think and like digital balls what else would kickpot be looking for oh my god speaking of robots that are looking for things yes the man that threw out his key to his cryptocurrency fortune one day by accident god God, it's so intense. It's like, anyway, this man had a hard drive that had the key to his cryptocurrency wallet. That would, like, you know, all cryptocurrencies protected by these, like, blockchain passwords. And it had, like, I don't know, 8,000 bitcoins. Yeah.

And he was cleaning. It was like $10 million or something. No, no, no. It's almost, in the year 2030, it will be worth. $1 billion. Oh, Jesus. Wow. So he was cleaning out, he's an IT guy from like Bristol or whatever.

Yeah. He was cleaning out his stuff. He'd just updated. He's done his new computer, assumed, spent his day labeling his cloud photos. Cool. And then had like this old hard drive in a drawer and was like, well, I've updated and now I can get rid of this hard drive that's kind of a bit unreliable. Yeah. Threw it away.

and then I think there's like a bit of contention in the story as to whether he threw it away he definitely put it into like a trash looking thing and then either his girlfriend threw it away or he threw it away goes to the dump then he realizes his mistake and it's in this like local council dump he's spent the last 10 years

trying to retrieve it and the dump in him have been like locked in litigation because he's like I need to go and look for this fucking hard drive because there's like at the time like $800 million worth of Bitcoin on this hard drive that will be gone forever and so he'd like hired the guy who used to work at the dump

and a bunch of these like IT engineers to try and like figure out the chances of retrieval and like how they would like scavenge the entire thing and like blah blah and they're like it's pretty high that we'd actually be able to find it given that we know that there's not been any outsourced materials we know the area that they'd be in

we'd like probably take a bit of time but like we could and then the dump was like no it's not safe and he's like well we could potentially get a robot to go in and look for it and then they're like no because as well legally when you throw

something out and ends up at the dump it's now the property of the city doesn't belong to you anymore and so they have closed that dump and as what what happens when you close a dump is that you now have to like seal it off um so cover it in earth and then like you might put a park over it or something whatever he and a group of investors came together and they were going to buy try and buy the city dump

and they wouldn't let him and so now after 10 years he is giving up wow is that not so wild it's wild man Wow. Yeah. That's insane. Isn't that crazy? Just burying. It's like the closest we have to like a pirate's treasure.

Mm. You know? Like when you have a billion dollars buried in your local city council dump. Yeah. Wow. But also could exist, could not exist. It's so like fairy tale. And like if this story is public.

Like, I wonder at what point, like, what point did this become public information? I think pretty quickly after it happened. Because, like, wouldn't other people be in their, like, searching? But you can't get into the dump. I would like. What if you've got a carpet to put over the barbed wire fence? Well, exactly. Then I think you could get in.

But you'd have to know where to start looking and what you're looking for. We'll start at one end. And just, and you're looking for a hard drive. Just look at it. Just look at everything. Yeah. Every single thing. Do you want, like, some money or not?

That's crazy. Someone will look. Wow. Okay. Wow. On that note, I hope that you smile too and say thank you to the listener. Yeah. We love you all listeners.

Yes. Have a nice life. In this episode, we have, of course, put in a massive plank of wood that could be used as a lock. We've also put in the, you know, the use. year 1999. Yes. So check your calendars. It's 1999.

And Thursday. And we'll see you next week. See you next week. We love you. I don't love you. I love you. Di Amo. Crazy.

That's right? Yeah. I like to leave them in a little bit more upset. Death Day, everyone was recorded at Natural Habitat Studios by Matches. Hold on. You there? Just waiting. Our theme song and music was provided by Edie Centric and Angus Leslie.

Is he? Is he still there? Hello? If you've got something to say, say to us, send it to us at deatheverumpot at gmail.com I mean, you know, I'm just going to cut out these silences, right?

And won't you support us, please, peterion.com slash dead to everyone. Bye. That's it. That's eight. With God. Thank you.