Decoding the Gurus - Supplementary Material 42: Chimpanzee Testicles, Home Alone Statistics, and Influencer Research

Episode Date: January 8, 2026

We dig deep into the online world to DO OUR OWN RESEARCH and return with horrors never dreamt of by man.The full episode is available to Patreon subscribers (1 hour, 23 minutes).Join us at: https://www.patreon.com/DecodingTheGurusSupplementary Material 4200:00 Introduction11:13 Rogan and Shane Gillis on Nick Fuentes vs Piers Morgan17:49 Jimmy Carr's Physics Insights24:00 The comedian shuffle25:12 Andrew Huberman teams up with Goop!30:41 Huberman injects his dog with testosterone.32:09 Bryan Johnson and the secret longevity of the penis35:41 The Science Behind Huberman's Careful Product Endorsements39:48 The Statistics of Home Alone41:22 Bryan Johnson's Love Tweet46:24 Bryan Johnson's horrible treatment of his ex-fiancée51:30 Andrea Botez and Influencer Health Research57:41 Bespoke Treatments with Medical AIs01:04:28 Self-Research, Stock Picking, and Gambling01:07:47 Health Systems and their imperfections01:12:37 Doing Your Own Research...01:17:38 Matt's Content Recommendations01:20:45 OutroLinksNYT – How Trump Fixed On a Maduro Loyalist as Venezuela’s New LeaderTriggernometry – “A Revolution is Coming!” – Jimmy CarrGQ – How Andrew Huberman, Goop Kitchen Collaborator, Is Staying Healthy in 2026Vanity Fair – Why Bryan Johnson, Dave Asprey, and the Other Longevity Bros Are Obsessed With PenisesLuis Batalha – Tweet on the “Home Alone” paperBryan Johnson – “Love” tweetAndrea Botez – Hearing Loss Update...

Hello and welcome to decoding the growering supplementary material. edition, 26, first of the year, episode edition. That's what's there. There's a psychologist sitting across from me looking not 100%. We'll see why Matthew Brown there. And staring back at me for my own monitors, my own ugly mug, Chris Kavna, anthropologist slash psychologist, mostly psychologists these days, but you know, whatever. What am I? What am I? What am I? You're sick and tired. That's what you are. You're sick. I'm sick and tired. That's right. I have a heck of a voice at the best of times, but now I've got like a gravelly or one because I'm

dealing with a man called. Yeah, the worst kind of cold. You're not allowed to talk. Can I just say, I know that women, women, they also get calls like We've got to, what is my mom called during the women? Yeah. I got sick too. My family came back from Japan and they brought back exotic land. Exotic diseases with them and contaminated me. It's like reverse colonialism.

That's right. It's like what happened in South America, except worse because it's happening to me. What happened to the time? Oh, right. Yeah, I was just thinking some terrible news has happened. Every time I open Twitter or whatever, something terrible has happened. And most recently, you know, Maduro. The recent thing is up to America.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, it's not terrible that he's gone, but the manner in which he departed from the position, not great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I think Trump managed to put like the worst possible. spin on that that could possibly be right like you know like the america does it has a long history of doing things things in latin america right and um usually they try to keep it quiet

or there is it whether it's true or not there's a there's a positive spin there's some kind of rationale given the rationale given by trump it had to just put the worst possible slant on it We're taking all of their oil. We're running the country now. We can do whatever we want. We're going to keep doing this. Let's do this again. So it's not a good look.

Not too good. I don't know if you noted, Matt, you probably haven't seen this. The Department of State, the State Department today tweeted out, this is our hemisphere. And President Trump will not allow our security to be threatened. And there's a black and white photo of Trump with writing saying, this is our hemisphere. So that's a hell of a sphere of influence. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, sphere of influences. I think the official stance of the podcast is we're against spheres of influence.

Yeah, I guess we are. We're against the influencers spheres, certainly. So I think geopolitically, I think geopolitically we are as well. You know who else was against spheres of influence, Chris? Who? Franklin D. Roosevelt. A much better president than the one they have at the moment. Him and the America that he led was very much.

After World War II, they were absolutely against the idea of these empires. France of Britain would have quite liked to have restored their spheres of influence. The Russians certainly were keen on establishing theirs. And too easy total credit, Roosevelt was like, no, this is not how the world works. We're going to have a rules-based order, self-determination. democracy, all of that stuff. Boring. That's so uncool now, isn't it? It's so uncool. It's neo-liberal.

Mia Sharma, mea Sharma would like a word. Yeah, I'm on with incredible predictive tendencies who noted that, you know, he predicted nothing was going to happen in Venezuela, mere days before things happen. So again, just another indication that you really should heed his geopolitical analysis. Can we keep the Celtic sphere of influence? Is that okay? Do you have one? Yeah, yeah.

We've got like a genetic sphere of influence, which we seeded across the world when we were all escaping, like, a falemone. So that's it. Like, to pick up all the Americans with the Irish tattoos and stuff. Or you're part of our sphere of influence. You're of Irish seed. I just stop saying.

seed i don't the mammoths for your episodes have affected me just thinking your mate choice man thinking your mate quality you're just you're contouring up images of like hordes of

Irishmen going around the world oh i don't like that randy Irishman it's a good not a good image in some tavern on the outskirts of the empire yeah I said well okay we'll disavoy all spheres of

influence, including the Celtic one then, were against them all. So that's what people come for here anyway, Matt, is our geopolitical insights. This was like when some people, you know, they weren't really asked me in detail, but they were just saying, you know, what do you think about this on the page one? And I was thinking, like, I am not the man to give you insights into Venezuela and geopolitic. It's not my sphere of expertise, if you're like. I have absolutely no idea. I mean, generally, you know, the general thing, which is that people are like, what the

fuck is this? What is the US during no congressional approval, international law, all that kind of stuff. But just in general, what effect does Einstein Maduro have in Venezuela? What are the opposition parties and the leaders who are going to come up now? I don't know. I don't know. No idea. That's right.

You can't know everything, Chris. You know a few things. You've got a few bits of explicitly. No, I'm the same. Like, you could put everything I know about Venezuela on a napkin. And, you know, I do, you know, one gets obsessed with little topics. I did get obsessed with Ukraine. And I did even get obsessed with Israel and Palestine a bit years ago

and read all these history books and stuff. And, you know, maybe at some point could, you know, venture at least a decent opinion. But, yeah, I don't have a good one on this. I mean, I mean, I have an opinion like everyone else does, but, you know, I just don't know. The level of salt that is required to take it with is like dangerous for you. That's the thing. So, you know, if you want that kind of analysis or response, go listen to the rest of politics. Or choose your poison, right?

There's many outlets there are available. But the other thing that makes it difficult, Chris, I think, is with Trump, is he just, you don't know. Like everything he says is such complete bullshit. So he says, oh, we're taking all their oil and we're running the country now. Well, you're not running the country. They abducted the leader, but it's not like. And it would take a very long time. Yeah, or is that a plan that he's got or are there wheels in motion or was that the motivation?

Or is you just making up stuff as he goes along because it sounds good? I know. You just don't know. I saw reporting that he was upset that Maduro was doing a dance on television saying like, get me. It could be as simple as that. I mean, like, this is, this is the guy that wanted to annex Greenland and many people in, it's Denmark, right, that kind of owns Greenland. I'm not mixed up. The Danish, yes. Well, I mean, owns it. Yeah, but. Yeah. Well, you know, whatever. I think, um, I saw a relatively serious analysis, which was that their best guess as to why

Trump was so interested on it is that he just, he's, he's seen a map and Greenland looks really big and he he feels like if he could paint a big bit of the map America, then that would be very bigly, right? It would be like putting his name on top of a hotel and he'd quite like that. And it could be as dumb as that. So, yeah. Every time there's leaks from the Trump regime or Elon Musk texts or whatever, you simply cannot underestimate them. Like they literally are worse. than they appear in public and they appear very bad in public. So you're right, like trying to implant out change is difficult. But it will reliably be, you know, fairly terrible, whatever Trump is doing.

Even, even there things that he does can have knocked down positive effects or whatever. It's never really his intention that that happens. It's, it's, it's, his intentions are much more biased. So there you go. That's our tip. We don't like Trump. That's all right. We don't like Trump.

But yeah, so you look, you're sick, I'm sick, but we're, you know, we're okay. We can still record, but apologies. It might not be the most effervescent recording. You know, we might, you know, lacking in esprit decor, I don't know, in insights. Vocabular even. Yeah. I mean, appropriate words, which those were not. Yeah.

We've got a good esprit decor. core i feel like that's isn't that like bands of brother stuff matt we've seen things we've seen stuff on the internet you wouldn't believe but i'm gonna i'm gonna introduce you to some more of it yeah what people want matt what the people want is to know what the collected weirders of the internet i've been up to recently and this is important that's right forget about Venezuela that's not important forget about all those other issues what you need today's, but what a weirdo's doing on you today? Listen, Mr.

sarcasm, let's just note, though, that most of the people that are making those decisions are part of the weirdo sphere, right? They're all podcast hosts and Xbox news presenters and whatnot, so, you know, just saying, the people that we look at

now, you might not hear the theme, but just weird, give one or two years that they'll be the fucking president. Yeah. Yeah. So, Matt, you know, you remember our take on the Nick Fuentes, Pierce Morgan Showdown, right, which happened. Yeah. Yeah. I do remember back.

You know, we were pretty clear in our interpretation that, like, it wasn't going to be universally agreed that Pierce given him a shalocking, right? Obviously not. His fans would like what he said, mostly. And, you know, there's enough red meat in there for people that are FNationalist inclined to enjoy, right, and so on. So, of course, we're going to be various segments and vocal segments of the internet that declared it a win, right? We knew that. We spoke about that on the episode, but we felt that, you know, if you look at it critically from the content, he's just not doing very well. Like, his answers are contradictory, and he kind of jumps around from Weller he's, yeah, like I said that, and what off it to well, it's a low blow to bring up

topics like that and that's out of context and so on. And then the things about his father and all that kind of stuff, right? And I did see a clip though where it provides the counter position. I see. And it's from a source

that I know that you like to hear from. So listen to this little clip where two famous comedians, Matt, are discussing the same media we consumed. Yeah. Well, Listen, I will say this about it. It's fascinating to watch that there's, there's like a whole group of people that feel very unrepresented in the world.

And especially like young men. And here you got this young guy with a very high verbal IQ. And he also does a lot of shit posting, a lot of talking shit, a lot of trolling, says women shouldn't be allowed to vote. This is wild shit. And that Pierce Morgan thing is like, bro, that was like an expert sparring with someone who thought they were an expert. Sure. Like they're playing two totally different games. And it's also the thing that people try to get Fuentes on is he's still funny as fuck.

It's funny. So that's where you're in a lot of trouble. When he hits him, do you think the Holocaust, you made jokes about the Holocaust? He goes, too soon? Like, dude. And you could see. He's wild. You could see, but you can see peers going.

Oh, fuck. When he was like, me mom died. I was like, holy shit. Bro, he got hit. He got hit with a missile on that one. Too soon. Too soon it was like, oh, my God. I don't know if this is AI or not,

but this photo just popped up online. Oh, no. Okay, so that's Joe Rogan. Joe Rogan. With Shane Gillis. Shane Gillis. I don't know Shane Gillis, but I assume he's a absolute moron.

So, yeah, okay. So they think Nick Frento's owned him. Nick Frento's is incredibly funny. Just come on him. with the Zingers, that being just incredible stuff. Yeah, that was an expert, disclaimer. He was dismantled, like, Pierce Morgan fought. And Pierce Morgan was just going to talk about somebody's grandmother

who died in the Holocaust, or boo-hoo. God, Joe Rogan is just, I mean, yeah. It's so terrible. Every clip that gets played upon him is just him being the most insufferable decade. Like, there literally are endless clips every week of him being, insufferable and and safe things and Shane Gillis is actually one of the better of the Rogan comedians he's someone that actually occasionally like calls them out but here you know I think

this just speaks that like when I watched that I was a little bit like you know what fucker finds this guy appealing you know that was what you said as well like who is watching this going oh that guy that's the yeah he's really charismatic and the answer is Joe Rogan Yes, he's Joe Rogan. My God. And, Edick, so just let me try to understand it from Joe Rogan's point of view, because from his point of view, Nick Frate's just a funny guy, he's just trolling, he's just triggering people with this talk about ethno-nationalism and racism and how women are not allowed to vote.

He doesn't, like, he's just being funny. Is that what Joe Rogan thinks? No, because there's another clip where he talks about Frantéz with another comedian. Rogan is explaining how, like, when you call everyone a Nazi, when you say white men aren't allowed to have an opinion, what you get is Fuentes in response because he's the kind of pushback against those, you know, kind of liberal folks called. So he does note like he says there, you know, he says some controversial things. Yeah. So it's not like a full on endorsement, but it is that the most important thing is that he's, you know, triggering. people and he's charismatic and being controversial.

Yeah, yeah. I'm just amazed that he thinks he's charismatic. All funny. Isn't that amazing? Isn't that amazing? Like, he is such a dweeb. I know. But the thing is there's so many people that are classed as charismatic and it's,

it's on the thing disturbing. The word has lost all meaning, Chris. It's lost all meaning. Yeah, kind of in some sense. It's become like Nazi, the same problem. You know, they've overused it. Everyone has charisma now. Yeah.

Well, I do think one of the issues is like they, often what people mean by charisma is speaks confidently and smoothly in front of audience or on recordings, right? And, you know, Dan Sperber, researchers talked about the guru effect and all those, you know, pseudo-profine bullshit and whatnot. you can create the impression of like competence and insight by just delivery but but nick point is you know is he is he really doing that whatever but yes he apparently he has charisma for Red Scare Joe Rogan you know this is the target audience but again

that Red Scare and Joe Rogan would like him is what I would have told you before we did the episode. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Yeah. Well, you're actually playing that. I don't really have a comment apart from that is just Joe Rogan is bad, but we knew that. We know that. We know that. Well, I've got a new guy for you, a new one.

Do you know Jimmy Carr? It's another comedian, Matt. Oh, I was just complaining about Jimmy Carter, my brother. And you're going to, oh, good timing. Good timing. So he was on trigonometry. And he was talking about physics, Matt. You know, you've got to get your physics insight from comedians. So let's hear what Jimmy has to say about the problem with physics in 20205-6. The other thing is physics. So this is Peter Thiel's point, but minus the screens from any room were living in the 1970s, right?

So nothing's happened in physics since 72. String theory has not got us anywhere. But if you take the compute power of AI and point it as at physics, now, everything else in science is stamp collecting, right? Physics is the real thing. That gave us everything. Every bit of technology that we have comes from the physics department. And, you know, what happens when you point AI at that? That feels to me like something that people aren't really thinking about and is incredibly, could be,

incredible. We could have a world of plenty where there's no, you know, if we, if we increase productivity by 50 times and there's a human flourishing, fantastic. I hope that's the world we live in. But it could go another way. Wow. Yeah, at least he got in there, you know, they could go the other way that one. Yeah. But some big insights. Big insights there. Why hasn't anyone thought of this? Why don't we just take the AI, point it at physics, then whatever, 50 times? productivity. The other sciences. No fucking side show.

You know? What? CRISPR, sure, vaccines, you know, all those kind of things. But like, won't they done on computers anyway? Yeah, robotics. Is it like, what does he think physics is?

Like, no one has more respect for physics than I. Than you. But it doesn't directly lead to gadgets in your living room. Right? There's a whole bunch of other. the science.

Are you saying engineering and stuff have to be involved with that? Yes. Yes. Material sciences. I mean, there are so many things that are, you know, still science. Sight shows, man.

And his commentary, you know, take the screens out of the room. We're living in the 70s, right? Wow. Just take the screen site. Everything, nothing's changed. Nothing's changed. Was he alive in the 70s?

Like, I was alive in the 80s? And it's a pretty different. From then. Yeah. And just that naive, nobody's thought of this. Nobody's thought, what if we could do?

What if AI could be used to help with research outcomes? Now, no one's thought of that at all. Nobody's thought. They won't let you. Oh, my God. Don't let you talk about that.

And you know, this is exactly what Angela Collier, the YouTuber, physics online YouTuber person, was talking about, about like physics pros, right, where they're not actually interested

in physics. Like Jimmy Carr there is interest in physics the same way that Steve Jobs was, right? But they like to talk about how, you know, I dabble with physics on the side or whatever. I could have done a PhD in physics. But all they mean is they want to say string theory is a race of time. Physics has done nothing. And regurgitate the takes of like Peter Thiel, Eric Weinstein, Sabina, Hossenfielder. That's what it is now.

And like this is exactly Sabina, Peter Thiel, Eric's. line that, like, physics isn't doing anything since they were doing their training, right? Yeah, yeah, I think philosophy and physics, in the minds of these types, they are high status fields. Well, ancient philosophy, ancient philosophy, yeah, which which they can then they dunk on and propose their own sort of random stuff. But learning, it's just so, yeah, he's an asinine person, Jimmy Carr. Everything I've heard from him is absolutely nonsense.

He's recreated himself as a kind of a right-wing commentator person, and he is just so third grade. It's just recycled bullshit of the third order. Yeah, he's a good punchline comic, right? That's what he's good at. He's good at giving quippy one-liners. I have to say, I never liked him as a comic. I mean, long before I knew anything about his thing.

I'm not retroactively revising my opinion of him but I just didn't happen to lot I don't like that style of comedy I think it's pretty I it's not my cup of tealer but right I still feel that he was objectively

like good at his craft oh yeah he was a very popular comic he was very successful and popular I'm like the trigonometry yeah yeah exactly I like the trigonometry it's good to get that in now but yeah

I've heard him talk about all the things about how like stand-up should be taught in school as a, you know, a subject because it allows you to break barriers, Matt, to start seeing through the system and stuff. And like, somebody's got to get a reign on these comics. Like, they've gone mad with attention and power. Like, they're right here imagining

that they're fucking scientists and medical experts and shit. And they're just, they're like stand-up comedians of varying quality, as we've seen. Yeah, they have these little brain farts and then introduce it as this bright idea they've had that no one else has thought of. Well, last I heard of Jimmy Carl, the thing that annoyed me was that he was talking about immigration in the UK and he was against it, of course. And he just doesn't like all of the Indian and Pakistani people and stuff like that. And he says the people. Straw man, Matt. You're straw man in it. He's got a very complex position.

It's not complex. It's not complex. Anyway, we don't have the clip, but just trust me, it was, it was asinine. I think he, uh, anyway. They always have the option, you know, at the end of it that they can retreat to. It was just a joke or, you know, I'm, look, I'm a comedian. John Stewart somewhat popularized this, right, where you can critique and then weave away to, well, I'm just making jokes and stuff like that. And Joe Rogan did it back when he was pretending not to be anti-vaccine back in,

the early stages of the pandemic or other controversies he's had right so it is useful to have your background be comic because it gives you like a natural well look you know come on what are you expecting from me i'm just i'm just a comedian at the end of the day yeah yeah yeah but they don't they don't tend to think they're just comedians like there wasn't a joke there right the punchline no no in the clips i heard of him talking on trigonometry you he's presenting himself as very thoughtful analyst, commentator on all of these issues. And he's just a random fool. Yeah, yeah.

That's an accurate description of random fool. Speaking of random fools. But so, Andrew Huberman, our favorite optimizer guru. He's the real scientist, though. He's not like this. He's not like these comedians. He's out there doing. his research at where is he yeah what's his university oh stanford stanford somebody said

stanford i mean come on that tells you all you need to know doesn't that i don't think there's anything else you really need to hear it except for the prestige of the institution they're involved with but um but with that news that i saw on gq how andrew huberman group kitchen collaborator is staying healthy in 2026. So I like that now his title for this article is Goop Kitchen collaborator, not Stanford professor, Goop Kitchen. So he's got together with Gwyneth Paltrow to design some menu items for her online, you know, overpriced food delivery service. And this comes with a puffpiece interview for GQ where he talks. about his motivation for that.

But yeah, so I think this is very on the nose because, you know, disparagingly, Hooperman has been referred to as a group for men, and we noted parallels to the way that the health and wellness sphere works and the optimizer sphere. And, yeah, this was a roller on the nose crossover. I do feel there was a time

where Huberman wouldn't have done this. you know, maybe two years ago or so. I feel like he wouldn't have wanted to tie his brand to Gwyneth Paltrow, but he's pretty much now just openly hanging around with all the pseudoscientists. And, you know, his podcast has got big enough that I don't think that really concerns him anymore. That's right. I mean, I've spelled out my theory of this arc to you before where I guess earlier on in his career, he was more concerned with credibility, would maybe work a little bit harder to, you know, play

the role of the science educator. But, you know, and so there's the establishment phase. And then there's the exploitation phase. And, you know, all the stuff that he's got, all the sponsors and endorsements that he's got, I mean, all the, all the supplements and protein bars and special electrical light drink mixes and cookware and meditation apps and special mattresses and uh you know you name it you know he's got a sponsorship he's got so many sponsorship deals and like that is what it is all about and uh goop is now the final or the last in this stage and like that is what he is he's just a powerhouse of taking his huberman brand and making money from an endorsement or a sponsorship or a connection. So what's he doing for Goop? What's what's his what's the angle?

I'll have a look in your little message there on your what's up and look at that picture and you'll see what he's doing. There's Kuberman's organic turkey chili. So Huberman, Stanford Scientist, has developed this organic turkey chili meal. It's 1695. Great. So you can get this pre-made meal and that this has been scientifically optimized. That's that's the way that's the only way he he rolls is scientifically optimized me. So he was asked by the interviewer your podcast has been called Good for Brose. How do you feel about that comparison? Here's what he says. Gwynif was first in this general space of thinking about one's health and also bringing about a real life aspect to it right? Sometimes you can cook. Sometimes you need food prepared for you

She's doing all the vetting of sourcing. I'm a fan. It's interesting. I think the press tends to pick up on the most extremes on the distribution of any one kind of personal ground. So, yeah, Matt, you got the pseudo-profine bullshit, right, ends of the distribution of anybody. What he means is they're pointing out, like, seeing things. She endorses when, like, a lot of her stuff is just very solid, good health advice. But you can't just, you can't put that.

you have to use, you know, scientific terminology because that shows you're a science man, you know? And do you like also that there's somewhere else in the article that he mentions that how their engagement was made that, you know, he said something positive about Gwyneth Paltrow and someone drew here or whatever. And then she heard it and it filtered out and then reached out to him about collaborating. And it was like, yeah, that is the way the guru's fear works is, you know, they're throwing out a lot of Prizes.

and stuff or neglecting to criticize people and most times it probably isn't going to lead to like a direct collaboration but you know it might sometimes yeah yeah you're cooking up a turkey chili recipe for the online group store so yeah okay well he's a very rich man and true human and getting richer getting richer he also said this I know we covered this before

when he was tweeting out about this but at the end of the interview he mentioned to the interviewer because of the transcript that there's like oh who's that dog behind you in the picture or whatever and she's like oh that's my dog then he goes into

you know discussing his own dog and he said the pits live a long time so you're good when my dog a bulldog mastiff got to be nine and a half and was achy and hurting. I'm not ashamed of this. I started injecting him with 50 milligrams of testosterone per week.

His aches and pains went away. He got another two and a half years of life. Again, great science there. He's a science man. You know, he injected the dog with testosterone and the dog live for two and a half years. Without any aches or pains. Presumably the dog signaled this shaking his paws. because he previously said that the dog looked at him

with fanking eyes after he started the injections like yeah so yeah yeah yeah well they're experimenting on themselves they may as well experiment on their dogs it's not normal behavior is it to just be injecting your dogs with testosterone you shouldn't be doing that no no no you should not be and the fact that he prefaces that comment by saying I'm not ashamed of this like maybe you're a little like or maybe it's part of the brand

but it did remind me Matt that there's an article in Vanity Fair why Brian Johnson Dave Asprey and the other longevity bros are obsessed with their penises and this this article is documenting in some detail how it's not a new thing

that longativity influencers of previous eras have also been like very focused they're all dead now sadly you know they were probably to live forever but they're they're sadly all dead but a lot of them have ended up believing that the secret to eternal life is in their testicles or or in their region around their penis it's a surprising thing that man often end up coming to this conclusion and it's it's just science Chris that's just science yeah they tell a horrific story about somebody who is performing

me, like highly requested surgeries for rich people. You know, the problem is my, if testosterone is the source of eternal life, right? As we know it is. And as you get older, testosterone decreases, right? If you're a man, I'm presumably if you're a woman as well. But, you know, who cares about them? So you need a source of good, fresh young testosterone. Now, the problem is younger men, they don't want to give you their ball.

they're generally attached to those so what to do what a pickle in this article it outlined how one researcher's vision was well what if we just did chimpanzee balls and attach chimpanzee balls

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