DeProgram with John Kiriakou and Ted Rall - Should You Should You Fight for Love? | DeProgram with Ted Rall and Jamarl Thomas

Episode Date: September 18, 2026

On the Q&A Episode of "DeProgram," Ted Rall, Jamarl Thomas, and guest, Chicago Tribune cartoonist Scott Stantis, confide personal stories of “fighting for love,” the perils of financial tensions in romantic relationships, exotic foreign travel, chess adventures in Azerbaijan, and humorous sexual misadventures. They address viewer questions on Macklemore’s “Free Palestine” remarks, cancel culture, the weird Kash Patel hearings, and relationship dynamics, blending political commentary with candid personal reflections while emphasizing open communication and practical priorities. Catch "DeProgram" LIVE Mon-Wed-Fri 9-11 am Eastern on YouTube and Rumble, Tue-Thurs 9-10 am, or Stream Video on Demand!

Hey, this is D-Program with Ted Rale and Jamarlem Thomas. For 12 noon Eastern Time Friday, September 18th, 2026, thank you for joining us. This is, of course, the Q&A show, which means we take your questions and answer them. And also your comments, whatever you have to say or want to talk about, we're here for you. Thanks so much for tuning in. Starting next week, guys, we're going to have some new hours. So let me sort of break that down for you. So basically thinking of it this way, Monday through Friday, we're always here 9 to 10 no matter what.

Monday Wednesday Friday, we also go from 10 to 11. So another way to think about it is Monday, Wednesday, Friday, 9 to 11 a.m. Eastern, and Tuesday and Thursday we go from 9 to 10, and TMI comes on at 10 o'clock. DMZ stays at the same time, Fridays at 11. So we're making that as confusing as possible because why not. Anyway, we have... It's just Monday, Wednesday, 9 to 11. Pardon?

Well, then that might happen, but that would be if TMI, you know, screws the truth. Wait, I'm sorry, I said that wrong. Jesus. I said that wrong. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, it's Tuesday from 9 to 11. That's correct. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Jesus, I was like, oh, it's easy. Yeah, it's kind of like. I mean, it is easy, but, you know, I mean. Is it really that easy? I think so. Monday was it Friday, 9 to 11? If somebody shows up and they're there, we just go all the way to 11.

If they show up on some days, we go 9 to 10. That's it. If TMI happens on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 10, as it's supposed to. But, yeah, sometimes Manila craps out. So we could go on those days. We could just do it. That's what we should do with Tuesday. Does the know what I do something to Manila?

No, no, no, no. Manila, definitely not. Not as far as I know. So my, okay, nobody knows this. You know, I've always said my ex is the only one I've talked to beyond our relationship. And that was always complicated just because it, but a tendency to fall into stuff like we're in a relationship. So it was always made it complicated. Believe it or not, it's that part that I like the most about her.

And that part, kind of like we were talking about Trump, changed things going forward. It was that. That changed things. going forward because I realized that all of these people that I used to get who were more like me, they were more career oriented, those type of things. That is not necessarily the right person for me. And it's like just because what you want, it's not always good for you. It's kind of like that. When I met her, it was like, whoa, she's emotional. It just became that, right? And that is a power, especially if you're not used to that. And it's kind of like, oh, right, this hits something

in me that wasn't necessarily there for the other people and it makes me deal with her in a way that is different than I dealt with my other people. Now, it's not always well and oftentimes they're arguments, but the fights are often internal. It's like we're fighting for love. It's not like you're fighting about other random shit. Fighting for love is a thing. Oh, God, oh. But do you believe in fighting for the relationship? Like, I've had like I had a

I don't know if I would call her a girlfriend I guess we were sort of a non-exclusive girlfriend I would say and so she goes away for the weekend to Philadelphia she comes home and she says oh over the I'm like what happened she goes well I got to tell you over the weekend and she didn't have to tell me

I didn't really want to know but she said over the weekend I had sex with my old boyfriend and now full transparency see, you know, I was having sex with someone else too that weekend. So I'm like, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you say you were having sex with someone also that weekend, the same weekend? Well, she was away, yeah, we were both having sex with that.

Okay, okay, but it was totally like, okay. We had, like, we had that conversation. It was like on the up and up. And so she told me this, and she's like, so how do you feel about that? I'm like, I'm all right. And she's like, she was mad at me for being not jealous. And she was like, I need a guy. She ultimately broke up with me because she, quote, unquote, cheated on me because I wasn't angry about it.

And she felt that I didn't care about her enough to want to fight for the relationship. And she would basically, then I had another girlfriend. She would basically start fights with me. And she's like, you know, but the makeup sex is so good. I like to have a fight and then get back together. I'm like, I'm just not that bored, you know, in my life. You know, I mean, there's so many good movies. There's good TV shows.

There's good books. There's concerts to see. Like, no, I just don't need this level of entertainment. It just depends. It depends on what you're fighting about. Like, it has to be real. It shouldn't be made up. Like what it sounds like that she just enjoyed basically,

rough sex after. That's true. It's like, tell me how bad I've been. You've been a bad girl. Yeah, well, she was actually the dominating one. Yeah. She was the only woman I ever met who paid for porn. Did she?

Yeah, she paid for some site called Extreme Face Sitting. And Extreme face sitting. Now, what's so funny about this. is, you know, I'm 6-2. She was 5'0 dripping wet. And there was something very, very funny about the fact that she wanted to be, it's kind of like, okay, little one, you be the dominant one. Oh, she wanted to be the face sitter.

She liked it. I'm like, hey, if she wanted to sit on my face, come on over, you know. I know, but not just sit on you, but extreme. Yeah, although that didn't manifest in any meaningful way. It wasn't like, you know, any different from normal face-sitting. It was all in your mind. Extreme. And I was kind of like, are you suffocating the guy?

Like, what's going on? I came in the worst possible time. Oh, that is great. Not just. Well, now you'll know if you see something called Extreme Face Sitting on Kizzy's computer. You'll know what it is. I'm glad to hear that. Yeah, I mean, I was on a call.

So I ended up, I was a couple of minutes like getting on. And then I just pop in about this, about this very, very small lady trying to suffocate you with her vagina. Their vagina, right. Well, of all the ways to be suffocated, that's one of the better ones. That's not the worst ways. It's like, how did you die? Well, she was sitting in my face. Right.

It's kind of like, like, if, you know, I want everyone in it, like, if I had died, I would want people to say, well, you know, He died doing what he loved. He died doing what he loved. Right. This was not a bad death. I mean, people die all sorts of ways, right? They die in trenches. They die in the toilet.

They die in hospitals. Yeah. Bad way. No, definitely. It was like I suffocated him to death. Did he seem happy? He had a smile. He was thrilled the entire time.

He was thrilled. He was a happy day. He was thrilled. I do believe in fighting for love, depending upon what it is. If you cheat on me, no. That's not fighting for love. But if we are, look, I would tell you, this sounds very, I don't know if you guys ever watch Supernatural, where Cassiel, when he comes with, he says, I raised you for perdition.

And there's this hand-on dean where Cassielle dragged Dean out of hell. Elizabeth was kind of like that for me in a weird sense. I would never tell her that, but it's kind of true. When I met her, it was after the divorce, and I was alive. It just felt alive. And there was this, I'm very good at being object-oriented. I'm very bad when there's not an object in mine. Like, meaning if it's something I'm trying to work towards, I'm great.

Because the amount of energy I put into becomes ridiculous. If there is no point, though, I lose the threat. And with her, I had gained the threat. It was, I have an objective. We're going to be together. We're going to make this work. I'm either going to bring her to the United States. And for like a good year and a half, it was that.

And it was this huge amount of energy into it. I'm going to meet her in the summers. We're going to meet in winners. We're going to hang out multiple times in a year. I'm going to bring her here. She's going to be here for this time. And for that time period, it was the mindset of you're fighting for love. You're doing all of this stuff for love.

You want to make this work in real tangible terms. And yeah, it's my emotions go through the roof. It's this kind of, you know, everything else is subordinate to the objective. And then when that hits the skids for whatever particular reason, just devastated. devastating. Well, that's true. I mean, it happened in the relationship. Like, we're still... Because it means you lost the war. Said it again. You said what, right? Because you lost the war. We lost the war. But that's what it felt like you were fighting for love. It wasn't like you were fighting over stupid stuff.

There were times because of, you know, her emotional, I mean, I don't want to say that in a poor way. But there was insecurity issues that were very difficult to get around. And those were very frustrating. Because for me, it felt like, dude, do you think I'm doing all of this just to be doing all of this? Like, meaning this has got me just doing this just to do it. It is me doing this because I'm trying to make it us to be together. And to be honest, she even had a point, though, when she was like, dude, you, when I was traveling, for example, her thing was like, you're not in the U.S. You're untethered.

And by the way, a psychic given said, not a psychic, an astrologer, a German astrologer that her and I went to years before when the relationship was like in a few years, this would be the. the opportunity for you guys to get together. It's like, okay. Now, A, she didn't speak English, so I don't know what the fuck she was saying. The thing that was explained very clearly was in a couple of years, the opportunity will be there. Now, Elizabeth hears this. And of course, in a couple of years, and I am untangled from the United States. And I'm like in Austria, I mean, Albania, which is like an hour and a half by flight. And then it's like, you're in Malaysia and all these. Her thing is, you're not in the U.S. anymore.

What's your excuse? She has a point. And what was the reason? It was fucking expensive. And again, when I have an objective in mind, the objective, everything is subordinate to the objective. The objective at that point was, I need to save money and I need to make as much money as I can while I'm traveling because, you know, I need to save cash, especially after the company went belly up. And it's like, so focus on the channel and build up the money that you can't, meaning everything is savings. When you're going to places, you're going to places because you're trying to save money, not because.

right that's that's job one yeah that's job one you're not she didn't understand that from her point of view it's you care more about money than you do about me but this is what i mean when i say like fighting for love you're having arguments about things uh that matter because you care about each other and you want to make the shit work and it's just not working it's like for whatever particular reality based reason you're running at odds with reality constantly regardless of what the fuck is going on and in our case it was kind of that I mean, she had a point. But the thing is, in my mind, it was save as much money as possible. What is it possible to get the hungry? I don't know. I mean, the reality of it is anywhere I went,

I would have had to pay for treatments. And the entire point of going to like Malaysia, Albania, et cetera, was because I was able to find places where rent was like $300, $400, and treatments were less than what I would be paying in the United States for the combination of rent and insurance. And so it made it viable. In fact, it made it not just viable, it made it profitable in a weird way. If I would have had to do, let's say, hungry, I would have been paying more for treatments. My treatments would have went to $150 as opposed to 90. And the amount of treatments I probably would have gotten two per week, which brings the price up to more than what I wanted to effectively pay. Wait, wait, was your girlfriend willing to subsidize you?

She couldn't subsidize me. Impossible. Okay. Which is not wanted her here. I got that level of focus, too. I drove a cab in New York for eight years, and I was young and much better looking that I am now, I think. And I got hit on all the time. And I mean, I was like, be like, oh, come over to my house and have sex with me. Be like, I'm not here to fuck you.

I'm here to drive the cab and make as much money as I can. Like, it's like, yeah, but I'm cute. You're totally cute. And when I'm not driving a cab, we can have sex. But right now, you know. I'm driving my cat. Yeah, it's like, no. And it's like, you don't.

like sex. No, I love sex, but like, no. Yeah, she didn't get it. I mean, my thing was like, dude, there's no safety net. You're in Austria. You have a safety net. You don't have the financial pressures that I have, even though you may have them. They're not the same that I have at my disposal. I can get sick at any moment. For fuck sake, I can drop dead tomorrow. That's the way I look at it. And even that was a disparity between the way that her and I looked at the world. I looked at the world in very immediate terms. Like, I do, that's for my, I could drop dead tomorrow. I could drop dead That's the way I look at it. Anything that needs to speak.

That's true. Well, it is true and a probabilistic sense. But obviously, like, there's balance. I should introduce Scott Stantis. Oh, Scott is here. I came in on. I have no idea what I'm listening to. Jamal's talking about subsidizing somebody

and Ted's talking about screwing somebody in a cab. Not screwing anybody. So, which I... Yeah, you missed the extreme face-sitting part. You missed that. Yeah, you missed that. I came into the tail end of it. So it was kind of a strange place to come in.

But I've got to say, this is wild. Three of my favorite people are right here. And I don't know. Thank you, Robbie. And I don't know why the hell the three of y'all are friends with a hick like me. I will never understand it yet here we are. Well, we could have a long, we could, that could be your Q and A. But just to introduce everyone in case you don't know, although I don't know at this point, why you would not know Scott Stantis.

But Scott Santis is the editorial cartoonist for the Chicago Tribune, the creator of the comic strip, Prickley City. My co-host on the DMZ America podcast, which airs Friday's Eastern Time 11 a.m. And we just wrapped up and we invited, Scott, if you wanted to pipe it to pop over and here he is. Okay. Hey guys. No, I was, yeah, because at the end of our show, Ted, and Jamarro was kind of enough to join us is, you know, my wife, I didn't have the on-air sign outside my office flashing,

so she stuck her head in. And then she stuck her head and gave me a look. And I went, oh, oh. And it turns out that she was just shocked that I was on. She had forgotten that I was doing the podcast. And to be fair, Ted and I have been doing the podcast for what? 12 years now so I can understand her confusion. True, true.

But I didn't say it that way because we're celebrating our 45th wedding anniversary this next month. And you'd like to make it to 46. I would. Yeah, thanks. Yeah, it's more congratulations to her. She put up with living with an artist for 45 years, which has cannot be. True, that's no joke. No, it's true.

God, it's just weird living with me. I can't even, I have to, but she doesn't. And it's kind of a miracle. I'm grateful. I truly am. She's pretty great. And she loves Ted. So, I mean, it's...

So she has bad taste. We already know that. Well, yeah. I mean, you know, when the apocalypse comes, yeah, God's going to go, what were you thinking? Him? No, but she's pretty great. So, yeah, 45.

So, okay, I don't want to revisit this, but why Ted's talking about, you know, having sex and cabs or not. What's the topic? Well, making the point about like fighting for love and do we believe in that stuff. And I made the point of saying, you know, like I have a tendency to focus on the objective. And if the objective is, hey, I need to maximize my profit because the job is over with, I need to build my company. Basically, I need to grow my channel and I need to save money. Then everything else is going to be subordinate.

And I was making the point about in a relationship, there was this contradiction, this very big disagreement around that particular issue. about whether or not I could have moved to be closer to her as opposed to trying to minimize or maximize profit. And I gotta be honest, I don't know. I mean, if I would have ate my Wheaties and was like, you know what? Yeah, I'm in Albania right now, especially by the time I got to Malaysian, Azerbaijan. By the time I got to Azerbaijan, there was money in the bank. I had more leeway. There was more distance. Could I have focused my energies on getting into the United States? somewhere like hungry or somewhere close i don't know i think how old were you when this was happening last year i'm saying so it's not so like september right okay um it wasn't like you're 20 something

you had to make no i was 20 and you're 49 now i just had a birthday august 31st i was 48 when all of this was happening when i was jumping around the way in fact I got to be honest with you. When the company died, I thought, well, I can die happily now. All of my travel is over with. My life is, you know, could just go into that good night. And then next thing you know, it's like I'm going to Albania. No, this was like-

Who hasn't been through that? Yeah. Yeah. For a year. No man, I went to Albania. I was in Albania for two months. I was in Malaysia for three. I was in Indonesia for three.

for two. Wow. Nepal for about two. Nepal broke me, so I left early. I couldn't take it. I'm sorry. I ended up going into Azerbaijan. I loved Azerbaijan.

I could have stayed there. And then I got sick and fell back into the U.S. It's got to have the cheapest metro in the world. How much? The metro in Baku. When I went. Is it? It was like, it took the, I still have one of the tokens.

It was like a little blue plastic. token, like the size of half the size of a dime. And it was like something like six cents or something. It's like it's Europe, but cheaper. It's great. I loved Azerbaijan. And when I found the chess club, I was hooked. I would have married that woman.

I would have married her on the spot. Is Azerbaijan? That's not, is that the basket of Central Asia, Ted? No, that's Kazakhstan. Okay. That's where I want to go. It's like Armenia, it's like the underlying underside Russia. Yeah, I enjoy.

Yeah, he's referring to like something we've talked about how the hottest chicks in Central Asia are in Kazakhstan. It's like this jet black hair, which just works. Long legs. Yeah, it just works. Like it's kind of like, woman who could play chess. Skinny yet curvy, like what? And they play chess? They play chess?

Well, the one in, so the woman that has. I went to a chess club in Baku. Her brother was the second strongest in the world. She herself was at least 2300, I suppose. Oh man. Rating was she was strong. She was a master level. God, I love that game. Like we had two games. Was it two games or one game? Strip chess. The second game was very close. Oh really? So what's your score? Do you have one or are you? Well in the US, my highest rating was 2032. I think I'm at 1960 now. I haven't played, but the reason is I went to a tournament after not playing for like a decade. I got crushed. And so a rating drop. But I still

hold my own, right? And that game with her, I think give it two weeks. She'd lose. It's just it's like when you haven't played for a long time, you don't have that faculty. Just you lose certain things. Like, this ability to throw a piece and it lands on the right spot. That goes away. You haven't played a while. You got to finish up. Like, it's not just this magical thing. Like this, like, piece lands on the right spot. And it's like, God, he sees everything. Okay, that was true in my 30s. When you stop playing for, like, competitive chess for a decade, then, yeah, you lose it. But I can still hold my own with her. And I can still hold my own with most of the people have played around the world. The people in Indonesia, they were very strong.

Most of them lost. The ones in Malaysia got crushed. The ones in Malaysia got crushed. But yeah, I kick ass all around the world when I went. I just show up and ran to places. Like, oh, here's a bar. People play chess. Would you like play?

Yes, I would like to play. Don't speak a lick of English. And all of them are looking idiots. They're like, whoa, he's kicking our ass. Okay, how about Bob? Can Bob come in and take it out? Oh, it's so much fun. It was so much fun.

But now, she was great. She was strong. I'm going to have to come and see you sometime because my chess game as Ted will attest. Ted, we were at a convention. Okay, this holds together. Trust me. Alcohol may or may not have been involved. But Ted said, let's go get a haircut for some reason.

Probably because my hair was locked. And I said, and like a moron, I said, I said, okay. And we ended up at a barbershop. Do you remember Ted? And they had chess sets. It was awesome. While you were waiting for. for your haircut, you play chess.

And Ted and I... It was a total hipster barbershop with, like, board games and, like, you know, it was beautiful. I had Ted in trouble and he got out on one game and the other two games he kicked my ass. So... Really? Have you ever played Ted? No, we haven't had the pleasure yet. Well, I'm going to chess at all the time.

I even play chess online all the time. I have plenty of videos where I'm just playing chess in the audience is hanging out. I've never played online. I've probably played IRL. I learned from my very cruel father, who is now 98 years old. But my father was like, he didn't believe in letting, you know, being soft on kids. So he taught me and he never let me. He never gave me any chance.

Like he didn't let me win ever. Like it was just, yeah. And I remember what was interesting is the first time I beat him, he was upset. He should have been upset too. The first time I beat my, we had the same. dad in a lot of ways because my dad would not let me win so I just got better older more experience fine yeah no that that is correct yeah I finally beat him I finally beat him and it was the last time we played really oh yeah yeah I think that might have been the

case with my dad too there is this video with my ex again another one with my ex-girlfriend and I bump it not entirely but I just thought the shit was funny I don't think she did Carpaw Carphe is a famous grandassies sure um Carpoth played this kid who was, I don't know, six years old. Now, the kid didn't know he was going to be playing Karpoff. They brought the kid on stage in this, like, big event. And Karpoff comes out and Karpov plays the kid. Karkov beats the shit out the kid.

The kid starts crying. And I'm like, I would have fucked that kid up too. I would have a little things where it was. You put on your mitts, you take a bunch, kid. Learn now. It was sugar Ray Leonard, you know, a lot of reporters. Let me get in the ring for, you know, especially TV reporters. especially TV reporters,

let me get in the ring with a fighter and they pity pet. Sugary Leonard. That seems like a very bad choice. Very bad life choice because Sugar Ray Leonard was, would beat you up because he says, when I'm in the ring, it's business. This is my job.

And so some, some dumb ass would say, I'm going to, oh, look at this. I'm punch, punch, punch with Sugar Ray.

And Sugar Ray would just like, and the guy would be on his back. Yeah, of course. Call the hospital. I'm on my wife. They had, oh, what is the guy? The key guy from black jackass that used to come on.

I don't know if it still comes on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the boxer, the one that used to be like five burner pounds, he was huge. And they put him Johnny Knoxville. And for one of the jokes, they court it off like a store, just out the blue, right? Like you're just going to a random store. They corded it off. And they had Johnny Knoxville fighting butterpene in a store.

I saw that. Did you see that? He beat the living shit out of Johnny Knoxville. Oh, it's terrible. Yeah. Oh, have you ever been in the ring? There was a short story, but, oh, God, I can't remember. Oh, the son I'm having a mind fart. Sorry, but he, his father, he's a boxer in Grand Rapids, Michigan when I worked there. And his father had fought both Ali and Frazier, got knocked out by both. But he was, his son, Maddox, and he was getting ready to fight Tyson. And so he invited, we were invited to the gym. And I brought my little boy. And his dad was just,

Buster Mathis, Buster Mathis, Sr. Sweetest guy hands the size of a car. And he got my son into the ring and said, okay, now there's a guy. He's in that corner. Punch away. He had the timer going, oh, no, he's gone to the other corner. Go, go, go.

And he was exhausting my child. But have you ever been in a ring with a professional boxer? No. It's a different. No, because I'm not, that's why I'm still alive. No, that's why I have this nose is because I would spar at the Y, which some other do we. you know middle-aged guys it's very different when you get punched in the nose you have the head

gear and the rib guards all this stuff and they say okay let's spar and they're still throwing stuff at about 70 percent so it's not like they're throwing but even 70 percent with the patty all you don't because you get hit you're thinking like this and you go bap and then this guy who's a pro goes pappap and then it's like burrs you know it's like a cartoon although i would I'd love to be taught by someone like that. If I retained 1% of what they taught me, it'd be, like, amazing. It's how to stand and how to throw it and really get the leverage and where the power is coming from from the shoulder. These guys are amazing.

I'm sorry, I'm going off on a tangent. Oh, that's what we do. By the way, this is the Q&A episode here on Deep Program. We have questions, so we should probably answer some of those. So let's go through them. All right, Peter I. Thanks for the donation. Or if you die like Nelson Rockefeller, reading up.

Upside Down, reading it upside down newspaper. I thought Nelson Rockefeller died in Grante Delicious on Central Park 1. And the girl, he was, it was his assistant. And he died on top of her while they were, and they were doing it on a desk. Ah. So he was like, yeah, drop dead on her. And she couldn't get him off, but she could reach the phone. So she could call her a friend to come over and pull this old guy off of her.

because apparently you can keep an arrest. Help me. Help me. He's falling down and he can't get up. Apparently he did get up because apparently that was one of the problems is that when you die, you don't necessarily lose the, yeah, lose the little soldier still stands at attention as it were. All right.

So I have a friend. This is a high school story. So he was, this is a high school story. So, hey, we were both 16. And man, this guy, he was so ugly. It was crazy. but he was getting so much tail. It was ridiculous.

And he called, so he had this front, this girl from across town, come over to his house when his parents weren't home after school, you know, in that crucial three to five 30 zone. And he comes over, and this was 1979. And you remember the Dalcon Shield, you know, which later had all sorts of problems with it. And it basically hooked into, it had some hooks. that hooked into, you know, your private parts.

Long story short, something went wrong. And this was on the Virgin outing for, I believe, him, he got his penis, like, hooked. And like Nelson Rockefeller's girlfriend, they had to, like an eight-legged monster, they had to amble over to the landline phone which I believe was upstairs, by the way. And they had to get to the landline phone and call.

911 didn't exist. 911 was a joke, but it didn't exist yet. They call up Kettering's finest. And they came over. They called the cops. Yeah, well, EMS came. And they took them out on one stretcher to the hospital to detach them from each other. all the neighbors are watching from across across the street it's the suburbs and you're all like

Rob's like hi I don't know what a Delcon shield is keep in mind I was born it's an IUD it's a primitive IUD okay yeah so so how so how do they cut off and they cut up they cut up they had to cut up like the tip of his penis basically get it out are you serious yeah I demanded to witness the scar. And? Did you see it? I saw it. Yeah, it was gnarly.

But he said, like, he said by that point, he was just like, great. Just get, I just want to get her. Oh, I just, I can't have a little. Nobody says great for that. Like, anyone brings a knife to my penis at no point for whatever reason. Am I going to say? That might be the exception. If I were stuck inside someone, I might say, cut it.

I've had them put something in the head of my penis, and that shit hurts like nobody's business. Was that? Like it just hurts. So after transplants, I don't know if they still do this, but after kidney transplants, they used to put in a catheter, they call it a stent. Yeah.

And it's this like thing that keeps open. Your ureth. Either arteries, veins, these type of things. In this case, they wanted to keep open. In fact, I don't know what they were trying to keep open, but whatever, they were trying to keep it after their transplant. And they have to go back and get it. And they don't go surgically.

They go through the head of the penis and pull it out. And they don't tell you this in advance, by the way. I can see why they don't tell you. Yeah, they don't tell you. It's kind of like after it is like, hey, by the way, we have to do a procedure today. Really? What kind of procedure? Oh, it's not that bad. We just have to get the stint out.

Wait a minute. We mean stint. Well, we put this stuff in after the surgery. And it's like, what? And then they explain like, we're going to inject some, what did they call it? Numbing agent through the head of your penis. And then we're going to put a wire in it and we're going to reach and just pull it out. It'll be very quick.

It's not going to be bad at all. And it's like, are you fucking kidding me? Like what you consider to be not bad is nonsense. No, it's not bad because it's not them. It's not them. You get a woman who puts your penis in a stand because your penis is trying to run away. It's like, it's doing his best to get away. And you put it in this kind of like hit lock.

Your penis is trying to self-deport to Azerbaijan. I'm trying to get to forget about it. Listen, I told you all my story about that dude who castrated himself in the emergency room. That was the most painful thing I've ever seen in my life. That goes to another level. That's a new level. Oh, Scott. Oh, you ever heard this story?

Do I want to, guys? No, you know. I am obligated to tell you. No. Robbie, no. I've already heard this before. I've suffered enough. Ted, I've heard your stories

plenty times. That's how long of down each other. I will, Scott, I will call you after the show. Oh, I don't know. And I will tell you how this dude split his penis in the four separate pieces.

Oh, boy. Oh, there was a rockster. There's a story. I didn't do it. Why? Okay. Okay. So Cliff those versions.

So, okay. So this dude got brought in by EMS. He had swallowed a dime back of crack to keep from getting caught with it. He swallowed it. And then what you do is that you pretend like that you fainted and basically that you're, that's you're unresponsive. Usually the way that you wake somebody up is by sticking a catheter of their dick. Well, this guy took it like a champ. He didn't flinch.

I mean, there was nothing. He didn't tense. He know the cops I've never seen someone just take a catheter like this with no problem at all he did it well catheters are held in place by a balloon this guy obviously did not know this so after an hour of being in the emergency room he gets up off the gurney and takes off of his full sprint out the door the problem is the catheter is still inside and the balloon's about the size of a fist it's in your bladder so he goes he hits he hits the

his end of his tether, the balloon comes out. Oh, he didn't do the legs up in the air thing? Oh, no, his penis literally shattered. It split in the four separate pieces, blood me everywhere. This dude starts, that woke him up. He started screaming then. He didn't know that the catheter had a balloon to it. He did not, he did not know.

And he was not fully informed under HEPA. He no longer has his problem. He will never have that problem again. He castrated himself in trauma, one at Baptist Hospital. Well, wait, I was going to say, can they, I mean, can they fix that? Can they just sew things back together? He destroyed it.

Like, it literally just, he pulled, he pulled everything out. Do they have transplanted penises? I don't know. That's a great question. I think that they've tried, they're trying. They're trying. Yeah, but I mean, I suppose that would be good for some people. I, did they get the blood supply to the penis?

at the point that would be the difficult part i think you may just have it why i mean at some point what's the point i mean the urethos right i mean the i mean the uretha was gone i mean he just so everyone knows everybody knows what the penis looks like so when this balloon so when thank you for that prequel so now when this balloon came out of this terminal velocity It dripped everything out. I mean, that's a misnomer of a physics term, but okay. Right. We'll roll.

Right. It gives a new meaning to terminal philosophy. God. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. I cannot. They actually had a story. Oh, sorry.

The one is the correct term then for, for ripping your, dick apart with the catheter well i think that's the term ripping your dick apart with the i mean but i use terminal but i use terminal velocity because he he got to the other the tether at sufficient speed where he just when he reached his limits let's say oh my god there was a new story recently about a rock star uh from the 60s and 70s i want to say was he this the lead singer for step and wool for anything but apparently he felt strongly that he needed sex on a very like a daily multiple times a day and he literally literally wore a hole in it and the reason being well how many times a day was he having sex I mean a lot

of people have sex like daily every day yeah but this was probably two three four times a day and his penis didn't get used to it yeah you think a callus I'm thinking of a cat. That's what I mean? I mean, like, what did you have a pussy penis? I mean, I don't understand. Apparently, it was so much. And back in the day, how can I put this for a family show such as this?

He, women did not, did not garden as efficiently as they do to. Well, that should only help, though. No, because. Because that provides a cushion, you know. No, the hair created friction. Really? Well, that's hard to believe. I'm just saying what the story said.

I mean, are you telling me that Bush is bad for the penis? I mean, I find that hard to believe. Okay. All right. I'm just looking. I'd say put in, go ahead and Google it. I'd love to see your ad feed for the next 10 days too. By the.

Are you suffering from ruptured penis? Do you? ED treatments. We have got you covered. And the doctor is like, you've been having too much muff with hair. Yeah. That's right. Like this is the 60s, but if you say, well. Really? So this is like sort of.

You've been deep and muff for too long. Yeah. Yeah. Apparently he was just, just when he wasn't singing. He was having sex. He was having sex. And he probably got all the groupings that he wanted. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, sure. I'm sure. This wasn't because of a disease or something like that. Like he got syphilis. Yeah. He had to have something wrong. with him like maybe like at least had to have psorias or something or maybe he something went maybe he did

have a sore and it just went septic I mean because you know that's not the most antiseptic place you can put your you know body part when it's got I'll look it up you know what have me back on I'll do the research thank you I'll have charts I would appreciate that all right all right let's let's move on here um moving on okay tomorrow not to be confused with tomorrow I wanted to debate Robbie on ReQuick on immigration. Yes. What's ReQuick? No idea, but I'll do it.

Okay, consider that. I told them on my show. Any day of the week, twice on Sunday, Robbie's willing to have the conversation. Robbie West, you are on notice. You're on notice. You're on notice, West. But you know, I did make a deport that heifer coffee mug,

and have actually been selling them. Did you? I did. You better put them on the D-Program store. Yeah, I want one of those. I made one for you. It'll go nice next to my cat mug. Well, I made one for you.

I also made a, my best seller right now is actually bad neighbors, make good fences with a Vlad the Impaler. Awesome. I don't think anyone's going to get that one except you and me, but that's, I got it. It's hilarious. It has been selling like crack. I love it. All right.

Jamar also says, I can also ask Robbie to come on my show for the debate on immigration two, if you all busy. I see you got a guest, love the show. Jamarled told me to come on. Okay. Yeah. I told me any day. Jamarland, Ted, a partner means supporting each other financially.

I agree with Matina. I mean, it's like if she was doing, I mean, obviously if you're both poor, that's different, right? But it's like if one of you, and we've talked about this, if one of you is doing well financially, especially if she wants you to do something, right? Like, I had a girlfriend. She was really rich. And she would be like, oh, Ted, would you like to go to Madrid for the weekend? And I'd be like, yes, I would.

But I am, what's the word for it? Shit ass broke. So, but if only I knew someone who would be you, who could afford to take me. Oh, I'm not going to do that. Okay, well, bye. Go by yourself. Sorry? I was the opposite.

Because for me, I hated the idea that her financial situation was, restraint on the relationship. Now, the difference is she would not want to do it, though. Like, so if I said, for example, I give you a really good one, one of the fights that we had, I decided to go to Japan and since I'm going to Austria. And again, my mindset, I can die tomorrow. I get out of the opportunity to go Japan. I'm going. I love you to death. And I would say, you can come with me. And she would say, no, I'm happy here in Austria. And more to the point, I don't want you paying for me for that. And from my point of view, it's like, dude, I'm willing to do it. Well, that's ridiculous. I can afford it. See, I don't know if I would

take that trip either. You guys had, you guys were obviously you had control issues. That's what this was about. Well, it was complicated. I mean, both of us were. Stubber. But audience that's in it, Moon, opposition, Pluto people. We had complicated shit going on. But I would say, though, in your case, I don't know if I would have taken her up on that offer either. Meaning I don't know if I would have been okay. I'm talking spectacularly rich, okay? Not like, not like, oh, this is a girl who makes $200,000 a year. I mean, this is a girl who has millions of dollars in the bank.

Maybe I'll take that trip. Yeah. I mean, especially because it wasn't my idea. I was perfectly fine, like, you know, renting a video and hanging out at home. I didn't need to go to Spain. She's the one who wanted to do shit like that. Really? You didn't want to go to Spain?

Of course I did, but I was poor, so I didn't think I could go to Spain. It wasn't my thing. I'm not the one like, come on, let's go to Spain. I'm like, no, I'm poor. What are you talking about? Yeah, it just made it complicated. I mean, yeah, I'm complicated. But I would have felt some kind of way about being a kept man.

But I don't know. Yeah, well, here, I had a kept man possibility. So I can tell the story because she's dead now and not even sort of name names. So years ago, I guess I was 25-ish. So I worked at the Industrial Bank of Japan, right, as you guys know, in the late 80s. And if you stayed until 8 o'clock at night, you got what was what they called a black car to take you home at night. You didn't have to take the subway. They would call a private taxi.

And sometimes if the weather was bad, they'd stay to call and they'd say, it's a long way tonight because of the rain. Are you willing to share? And I'm like, I want to go home. Of course I'm willing to share. So one night, they said that. And there was this lady in the car. And she was the president of First Woman's Bank on 57th Street. And she was 40 years old thereabouts.

And so she's like, where do you work? We exchange cards. I was always looking for job offers because that was the best way to like go to your boss and get a raise. You could say, hey, I got a job offer from so-and-so. And then like, okay, we'll get to a raise, right? So, and who knows, maybe you go work there anyway. So the point is, she's like, oh, come in, come into my office. So I go for, come in and we'll have a talk.

So I go have lunch with her, you know, I don't know, a few days later, whatever. She brings me back to the office. She takes me to her office. And she basically lays out the following offer. She's like, listen, I don't really want you to work for me in the bank. I want you to live in my house. And when I come home, I want you to fuck me. she wanted me to be a rent boy basically um and i was like what and she was like yeah and i was like

that's the most depressing offer i've ever gotten a business deal it was a business deal like you live you live at my house wow wow i cover everything you're my bitch you're pretty woman you i'm pretty woman you're pretty woman yeah i'm julia roberts well so except I didn't take her up on it. And she died like fairly recently. She had an opet in the New York Times. And I remember just sort of laughing like, oh, that's her. I remember her.

And wow. That's not one. That's one you can say, you know, no. You know, I did say no. It wasn't even like, I mean, so, of course, obviously, look. Did you entertain it? I mean, for, you look, you have to when you're poor, right? And I was.

I was only making like $30,000 a year. I was living in a walk-up apartment in a shitty neighborhood. And I was kind of like thinking. And I like older women. So that's not a, that's our part. Well, you can do both. Like you couldn't continue to work and be her ribbo? No, I asked her about that.

She wanted me to be available to her as her concubine whenever she came home. What kind of benefits was she offering? Yeah, she's going to help care. Well, I think I would have actually been, I do think I would have had a position. a no-show job at the bank. And I would- Jeez. Yeah.

Oh, and you, could you imagine if that came out? Could you imagine? That's wild. That's so wild. I've never told this during any one. The British woman did the same thing for him. And he went to Britain with her and he was like, she treated me horribly.

Oh, I think she would have been a terrible, honestly, that's what, I do think she would have been a terrible person to whoever she got to do this. just extreme face sitting every day. She was very hard. The extreme face face-fitting girl was great. She was fantastic. Robbie would have disagreed because she was on an H-1B visa, but otherwise she was great.

You couldn't find an American extreme face-sit? No, that's the problem. That's why America is being left behind. Okay, guys, I'm sorry. Being like I was pretty much born, married, what is what is extreme i can guess but can you just give me like the readers digest what that is tay to be the expert on this one go ahead face sitting is like just what it sounds like you know sure and uh i guess extreme is where it's done with aggression yeah so you're suffocating

potentially or just it's just like it's on like donkey con you know she would be very aggressive Kong throws a barrel on you. So I just want to be clear. Very good. All right. We have more questions here. I'm sorry. It's a stream facing, huh?

All right. Here we go. Okay. Deep Green VO celebrates one month of membership. Hey, guys. They're starting shit to the wolves. You asked about a dark horse candidate. What about, and it's very soon, DAC as a candidate?

Who's DAC? I don't know what that is. Please, Deep Green, if you're still here, let us know who DAC is. No idea. Macadden. What do you think of the McElmar situation? Was he in the wrong? Is it right for a billionaire and his friends to decide for everyone else?

Why is it the only the ginger who suffers? Thanks for the don't know. What was that wrong? I mean, of course not. We need to put in context, right? People are being murdered in mass. And at this point, even like agency after agency after agency effectively called us a genocide, not just us, right? We're on the hard left, so, you know, but even other agencies from the United Nations have called us a genocide.

Hell, even the rape allegations coming out of the UN pointing out this is something that is systematic from the standpoint of Israel, the starvation. Like, meaning if this was Nazi Germany and somebody said, hey, we need to stop killing Jews and you take them all stage because they're making that point. Okay, what does it look like? All right. That looks horrible. The person is using his fame and his stadium to make the point of state free paliside. The audience agreed. So this is not like the audience is like booing him.

Like boo, go, get off the stage. It's not that they're like, yeah. Well, more to the point, the guy who, the craft guy who owns a stadium. Robert Kraft. That stadium was built using taxpayer dollars. He was a welfare queen. He is a welfare queen. to join with him in order to get Maca Moore off stage.

This was reported, I believe, by the New York Times, if I'm not mistaken. The issue here is Robert Kraft and his support of genocide and the murder of large-scale women and children in mass. That's his issue. True. That's the issue. Meaning, so it's like, sure, you can say,

well, Macamore, what about the people who work and blah, blah, blah. That's an issue for Kraft. Nobody else was complaining. The audience didn't complain. Ed Sherin had to know what Maca Moore was about, considering they knew each other, they were friends with each other. each other. He knew Macamore's position before the concert ever took place. He didn't have an issue

with it. He had an issue with it from the standpoint of optics and in the open, which on some level even makes it worse. They're murdering people in mass. That is the issue. Craft being okay with it is the issue. Not Macaumor. I hope this is the end of Ayrin's pathetic career. I hope he never recovers. By the way, free Palestine isn't even the same, isn't even a synonym for fuck Israel, right? No, it's not. Well, in the way they can see it, it is. Because And the other thing is that the fact is he said it at a government sponsor, a government-funded facility in a country that has, at the moment, a First Amendment. Yes.

And like you said, he wasn't inciting anyone to violence. He wasn't, you know, we can go into this issue on another time. But, you know, he wasn't, he wasn't saying anything that was particularly egregious or radical or harmful to anybody other than one political side of an issue. So why, I mean, when did we get, when in the world did we get from, and Ted and I have talked about this several times on our podcast, when did we go from, hey, listen, you said something stupid. I don't even think this was something stupid, by the way.

Again, I disagree with it, but it doesn't matter. A lot of people say a lot of things I disagree with. What do? Do you disagree with free Palestine? I do. Do you know if the Congresswoman's free? Okay. I think there should be a price.

I'm kidding. But I think how to say. You're probably buy Palestine for the prices of, for a stadium full of ticket master tickets at a Macklemore concert. And we've talked about this, and I have talked about this too, is how I've changed on my position of Israel, was a full-throated endorsement and support to,

what the fuck are you doing? Especially now when the reports are coming out from the West Bank and what's happening with settlers and how the law enforcement element of Israel is looking the other way when these guys are committing atrocities. But the fact is, when did we go from, I can say something that you disagree with, and I should you lose my job. I mean, let's face it, the left started this with cancel culture and all that stuff. You go from, I disagree with what you said to, you don't deserve to live.

Ted has used as verbiage and I've embraced it because that's what you're saying. you don't deserve to make a living. Hence, you don't deserve to eat, live in a house, or support your family. And that's bananas, regardless of what side you're on. Now, if someone came out and said, you know, kill all the Jews or kill all the Palestinians, that's different. That's not what this was. And so just if anyone has the temerity to walk a different way, which used to be applauded

in this country in many ways, and it certainly should be, now we're at a point where you don't deserve to work. Yeah. Well, that's a very dangerous. That's extreme. Yes. It is saying you don't have a right to live. I'm not kidding.

I got to be. Yeah, because we don't live in a country with a vibrant social safety net, right? No. It's not like England under Thatcher, okay, she's a bitch and she closes your mind and you end up on the dole, but there is a doll. And it goes on for years. You know, here it's like if you, like, if you lose your, job as whatever, you literally could end up on the street dead. That's capital. When the job ended in the radio station and they're like, okay, we'll give you unemployment. Now rent in New York,

I mean, D.C. is insane. Oh, God, God, I can't. Unemployment of less than rent. Yeah. Right. Like, it's a joke. It's like a, like a tiny percentage. And that joke expires in usually six months or less. Yep. And if you make anything from anywhere, like let's say you get 100 bucks on YouTube channel, they're cutting them out. But yeah, I mean, literally, when you think about that example, Joe Biden was willing to let you die. Like, literally, like, if you had died, that would have been his hall. Yep. And everyone else at the station. Yeah.

So, and that's not hyperbole. And this is like someone who's coming from a fairly conservative standpoint. That's not hyperbole. If you can't work, you don't live. I mean, you can live on the streets. You can go to soup kitchens. What if you have a family? I mean, this whole attitude, the whole environment and both sides now have embraced it.

That if we disagree in to the point of the breaking of this news story, if you don't agree with us, if you don't walk blocks up, die, that's a bad place for a culture to be. I mean, I think we can agree on that. It's like half a billion dollars. He's not going to die. his livelihood wasn't necessarily at stake. He was just a coward. Yeah, that's right. Let's do some more questions here.

Now that cops can fuck animals now, not cops, only FBI agents. I have to worry about cops shooting my dog with lead or sperm when they enter my phone by home. Only the FBI. Only the fits. Local law enforcement is not on team Beastiality for now

State police They could go either way I'm not sure Did you guys watch these hearings? I mean it was It was being on the month This guy So surreal

I don't know what He doesn't have a right to run anything Cash Patel Yeah Nothing I wouldn't trust that guy to cut my My shrubs I mean

Now look I mean all three of us are I mean, we get paid to talk. We get paid for our opinions. But, you know, we're not at the highest echelon of governance. Could you imagine if we're in front of a congressional hearing and they ask. And Senator Kennedy turns into says, tell me about the bestiality. So you guys are into beastiality. He's like, whoa, whoa, we're not into beastiality.

This is not. This is not. You don't have to be a genius. to respond to that question and say, you know, Senator, I'm not sure what you're talking about. He knew exactly what he was talking about. That would have been a lie. No, the way to handle this, the way to handle it if he had any brain cells at all would have been something along the signs like, Senator, look, I know this appears completely outlandish. And I thought the same exact thing when it was brought up to me. So as crazy as it sounds

incredibly, I learned that there is this phenomenon of trafficking people into this horrific crime. And sometimes they're the victims of it. It's unbelievable, I know, insane. But he said that kind of like he had to be teased out of that, right? Like he was reacting to it. And it's like, and it has come. He should have volunteered. And incredibly, there's like a few applicants who were.

Oh, yeah. Kennedy gave through him lifelines like as many as you could. That's my point. It's just never stopped. It's the way Patel was kind of like, it was like he was like, No, you have to do the wide eye. You have to have the wide eyed leak.

Because he's always like, he always looks surprised. So it's like, yeah, he does. Yeah. Somebody says he was sobering up from a vendor. Maybe not sobering up. Well, we've all been there. Well, that's a testimony. No.

That's so much. Oh, my God. I guess I'm the only teetotaler on this panel, aren't I? I'm the one that's never drunk. Wait, you said the only one that's ever drunk? Never drunk. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I don't believe it. No, I don't drink much at all anymore. My body, once you turn a certain age, your body just goes, oh, no. Even after one or two. I don't tolerate alcohol or they will, but I'm not against alcohol drugs or anything else. I like my glass of wine. Yeah. All right.

We got to get Scott to take the political test. Oh, 100%. Oh, shit. Scott, I came out as a North Korean. That's true. The GPRK awaits you. Yeah, I was on the libertarian left. Listen, I would go.

If I ever got the opportunity, I'm dead serious. I'll think I'm joking. If I've, God, I would love to go to Pion and Gang, go look around. I don't want to get snatched. I think it would snatch my head. I think honestly, it's like, look, you've traveled to a lot of authoritarian regimes. Azerbaijan is one of them. You just fucking find out what the rules are and you just fucking follow.

Yeah, but there are political reasons for North Korea to snatch up. I mean, just like they would be for, right? Well, I would go to Iran in a heartbeat. I would go to Russia in a heartbeat. Well, like that guy who stole the Cincinnati and who got, you know. Yeah, that's a fool. He was a fool. He stole the poster.

I mean, he did. You're not supposed to take photos of in Pyong Gang. Just don't, right? Like, they tell me what not to do. Just don't. Yeah, he shouldn't be stealing stuff in foreign countries. Yeah, don't steal shit. I mean, like, just follow, follow Michael Fay, the Singapore guy from also a super proud resident of southwestern Ohio.

Yeah, got cane. He was vandalizing cars and shit. What did you know? I mean, dude, follow the fucking law and nothing bad will happen to you. Don't take your drugs to Russia and you'll be fine. Right. For example. Yeah.

By the way, Jesse Jackson came on our show trying to get her out. Oh, really? Jesse Jackson came on fault lines. and basically made this he did the interview but the interview the entire point of it was him to basically make the pitch for Putin to let her go

and he chose our show to do it aw oh that's cool if you so cool Jesse Jackson was he in the studio no he was he called in but he was in DC at many points like when the people were doing the

protests I figured what they were protesting but when he bought food out because the cops wasn't allowing food and the people were like are the cops going to hit Jesse Jackson. And dance was no. It gave Jesse crazy. That was the right call on the cops. F. You so. F. Uso says pocket pussy has a whole new meaning when dealing with law enforcement. I'm not going to comment on that. Maybe Blitz Fahmal, she could have married you,

so you had the insurance. That would have been the move. We consider, well, I consider that. That's how serious I was when I said objective and everything else. But I need it. this is when me being a Virgo comes into play. Look, my thing was, let's be together for three months first. Like, meaning when I'm traveling, let's break it in a half where I give and you give. My give is that I would be there for three months and we would see whether this stuff works in practice. Because it's one thing, like, they have a long-distance relationship, right? It's another thing in practice, what does this look like?

And do I want to marry somebody? And I've got to be honest, I even made the point of saying, hey, we can get married. And if it doesn't go well, you can always get it annulled. Like, meaning, I was looking at it through practical terms of how do you get from point A to point B and how do you accomplish it? We thought about it. I mean, but I kind of wanted a little bit more assurance as first that the person I was marrying was a person I was marrying. And not to mention other issues that were difficult. But I don't think those issues have been difficult in person.

And I saw the shitty comment that my mom made. She thinks I didn't see it. Somebody just relationships are trapped and my mom said under it, yes. Hi, Mom. Peter Ive, Kraft

built the New England Patriot Stadium outside Boston where the Shiren Tour is coming. Kraft also is arrested for patronizing an Asian massage parlor too cheap to hire a decent American escort. He has all of that money

and the woman at the very least Do you think the Eskore was, do you think the Japanese massage parlor as lady was here on an H-1B visa? Because they can't find enough Americans to do this important work? Right. Doing the work Americans won't. There are plenty of Americans that want that job. That's true. It's like, yeah.

I would take that. I've always dreamed of being a male prostitute. I think that would be. Well, apparently you had you had the chance with your bank friend. Yep. Yeah, but that's different. That's like more like a, that's more like a sex slave for one person. A prostitute has agency. A prostitute's like they have different clients. It's the variety that makes it better?

If one, yes, because if, look, it's like in cartooning, it's better to have 50 clients. If one of them fires you, you're still okay. But if you only have one client, you're in deep shit. I'm curious. Was the bank woman attractive? She was, yeah, she was. I would have taken that job. Really? And that's interesting.

I was up and comment. I don't know. I changed at it because the independence thing would have been an issue. I agree with you with the independence thing. That's what it was for me. Like what's the expectation being, like, meaning, what does she expect of you be on? You stay home and look pretty and get ready for action whenever she wants it at her back and call. And it sounds like a lot of boredom, a lot of downtime.

But see, you could do stuff with that downtime. And I guess I can't have drawn cartoons or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. I guess my thing is, is she a horrible person? Is that part? Well, she was definitely not like, she didn't, she didn't sell it well. She wasn't like sort of like, come on, it's going to be great.

Like, I'm going to do this. Yeah, it was very like, all right, this is what I want. It was like, whoa. Yeah, she wanted to buy a human being. That's never ended well in our culture. Yeah. Well, it went well for thousands of thousands of years. What?

What race was she black? No, she was very white, for sure. It would have been funnier if she was black. I might have been more tempted, too. She would have only slave at that point. I think a black woman would have come correct, you know, in a way that this woman couldn't. This is funny. She's like she was buying a person.

That's what it was. She was buying a person, a sex slave. Well, we don't know if she wanted to buy Ted. She sounds like she may just wanted to rent him. Yeah, she wanted to rent. Just let least own, maybe. Yeah. I mean, depending on, on.

And how well you laid the pipe, then maybe there'd be some discussions about the long term. But it sounds like a rental. But see, it's insecurity at that point. Because as Ted said, you're financially dependent upon one person. And if she gets tired of you, you're not laying down pipe well enough. And during that time, you're like, there's an opportunity cost, right? You're like, you're losing like, you know, seriously. I mean, I'm in my mid-20s.

This is a chance to, you know, this is key career building times when I should be like, you know, I had to make something out of myself. And it was the 80s. The economy was sort of expanding. I mean, you know, it's like, don't want to miss a chance. It wasn't like a period of high unemployment. Yeah. And there was no internet back then.

So there wasn't no work from home. Well, there would have been for me. They would have all been from home. But I mean, but, I mean, for example, though, you could have worked on, you could have worked on your cartooning career or something else working online. That didn't exist back then because you're a fossil. So. that's true

it just wasn't there that's right I love you said I call them a fossil I'm speaking I mean I actually do know I shouldn't say I know I know of

I know okay I know a lady who employs a male prostitute really yeah basically it's in the guise of massou of massage so basically he was like

oh I'm doing something new with massage and you know where basically I offer more and she was like endings more than like everything the whole the whole shebang right so basically just prostitution basically prostitution yeah and the guy has lots of clients he does all this stuff he's like you know she's twice his age he's like good looking like surfer type dude and and he's like basically, you know, working the California, working all the old ladies on the California coast. Nice. I know.

I'm jealous. I'm like, this is the work I wanted. I would have loved this. Is that one client? Multiple clients? I mean, he's better looking than I. He's much better looking than I was. But yeah.

He's multiple clients. And by the way, he gets, I mean, the amount of money he gets is crazy, right? So for spending the night, he gets three grand. Wow. You can see all of us just, well, the cartooning business is going down the crapper? Come on, that's a lot of free, come on. There's a lot of, in cartooning, you're happy to get $300 for a freelance cartoon. It's so I mean, that's 10, I can't drop 10 cartoons a day even with AI.

In fact, that's a good. The clients take place at night. That's a good segue. I've got to get to work, actually. I've got to get to drawing you guys. This has been so much fun. I hope you invite me again. This has been a blast.

Oh, yeah, no. Anytime. Thanks, guys. All right, I'll let you go. Let me take Scott out. Scott's awesome. I love that guy. Yeah, he's great.

That's my first time meeting Scott. Is it? Now you know the legend that is Scott Stanton. The legend. Yeah. All right. Well, I have an interview. All right.

So, all right, quick question. Would either of you two guys, assuming you were not attached romantically would you take $3,000 to have sex with a older lady? Yes. I would have to marry her. You don't have to pay me. Oh, you'd have to do the Muslim thing where you get married

for like, you know, for the night and then get divorced the next day. That's for me or JT? That's for you, Robin. No, because marriage is for life in the Christian, in the Christian tradition. Fortication is one of the things that you really get trouble with God about. I would have stuck with my wife for life, even if we hated each other. What?

Everybody in my family hated each other and they still stayed together forever. I don't believe in that. And life is too short to be with people you hate. I mean, Jesus, it's so stressful. When you, I mean, literally the best thing in the world is to come home, put the key in the door and know that there's nothing on the other side that hates you or is going to yell at you. Agreed. Which is why I changed my point of view of it.

But I changed my point of view when I realized my wife was right to leave. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's a toxic environment. It's like who the hell wants to be? Life is short. Die tomorrow.

Why would you want to be in a toxic environment? Yeah. For sure. I am very, very fortunate and blessed because next month will be Mining Kizzy's 20th wedding anniversary. Congratulations. And I can count the number of times we've had knocked down, drag out fights maybe on one hand in all that time. And they're all your fault, Robbie.

Remember that. Well, of course, I'm the man. But typically it's because something, it was something stupid. At the end of the day, just honestly, didn't even matter. It's just, it's just retarded. And, oh, yeah. When you look back on fights, it's usually not about anything important. No.

Yeah, it's just completely dumb. And more than honestly, it was my fault. It's because I was being pig-headed or was it listening or, It was something. I thought that she was being illogical. And it was like, you're not looking at this logically. You're being emotional about this. And that's never a good thing to say to a woman. She's a lady. Yeah. Don't do that.

I mean, I got to be honest. I am not of this mind to blame everything on the guy. I've never been that way. Oh, I was joking. Yeah, I know you're joking. But Robbie seemed to be leaning into it. Leaning into what? The idea that you were the fuck up on all of those occasions.

It's like, oh, it's been making it. I said she was being emotional. Oh, well, because I was. I mean, she was being a little bit of emotional. No, it's because I didn't have the opportunity to grow up. Does it get the social condition about how to deal with people going through high school or college? And so. I see.

I said, you're talking about. So with me, I mean, it was just like, I've always been, I've always been a very goal-focused tunnel vision kind of guy. Like, here's the objective. This is this going to happen. And it's just tunnel vision. It's like this. this is the way it's going to be because whenever you go up the way that I did,

I mean, that's what you had to survive. Like everything else is a distraction. Everything just goes to this one particular goal of solving this problem like right now. And that doesn't work with marriage. It's like, but you're talking about this. That sounds like not just individual.

Like this is not a fighting for love thing. This is practical relationship stuff that you're reflecting. Oh, yeah. I have to learn to listen. I have to learn to listen. Guys. It's time that we've gone over a little bit. I hope you both have a great weekend.

Hope everybody has a great weekend. It is Friday. We'll be back Monday, 9 a.m. Eastern Time. New schedule starts Monday. So D-Program goes a full two hours. The first hour is the regular show. Pretty much the second hour will be Q&A, unless something big comes up. But anyway, so we do Q&A the whole time anyway.

So it's not like... No, we do stories. Well, we do stories. We try to stay tab it to the stores. And usually you do all of them. Thankfully. True. Well, sometimes I do derail the show.

That's been known to happen. There are times. So do I? We're all guilty of derailing. We started this off talking about face sitting. That was just a wild place to come in. The surprising thing to me was not that she was into it. I never heard of it before.

But it was the fact that she paid for porn. I'm like, in the internet age, who pays for porn and she's a girl right it was her niche it's like it was the thing it was her niche yeah like there was her yeah and she's but she was very she was cute she was like i need to support it i need to like like it's like you know information isn't free content needs to be paid for i was like you're right so wait how did you even know see i got to be honest which i would have never even had those conversations like and this is what i learned a lot about myself at the end of the marriage Like, there's a lot of stuff that is just, that's not exposed.

I mean, it sounds weird just because we do a show and we talk about all sorts of random shit. But there's certain things I just don't trend into. I don't know if I would have ever had that conversation. Good on you for having it. How did you even find out? She just told you. Well, we had a very open relationship sexually. And we were, and, you know, it was like sort of the normal, I hope normal.

But sort of the, hey, what are you into? What kind of, you know, what do you like in bed? What do you not like? You know, I think that's a conversation all couples should have. And they should check in with each other frequently about that because there might be something that came up or that they were hesitant to talk about in the past. And, you know, people need to be drawn out if they're embarrassed about something. And it's like, oh, I've always wanted to do this or that.

And it's like, you know, who knows? The person might be like, oh, I'd love to do that. I mean, so it's like that it was part of that conversation. she was like, well, as a matter of fact, this is my thing. And I was like, we can do that. So, you know. Oh, see, I never had that. I think I tried to have that conversation once.

Look, I get curious about shit. But I don't think it went all that well. Right? Like, meaning, I didn't come away from the conversation. Think to myself, hey, this was positive. That was doing it. Well, I think it takes practice. But I mean, I don't know.

I mean, I'm also, I don't know why this is true. That's a good thing. I'm saying that's a good thing. I'm one of those people who, for some reason, people feel like they can talk to easily. And so they do. And people will confide things that I think they might not tell someone else. But I'm also not going to judge you. If you, like, if she was going to say like she was into something that I personally hated and didn't, that certainly has happened.

You know, it's like, but I wouldn't be like, oh, that's disgusting. Like, I'm not going to be like that at all. I mean, at most I'd be like, well, I could see this being a problem because of blah, blah, blah, right? Yeah. It's like, I don't really want you taking a shit on my face. I'm uncomfortable. Right. That fortunately never came up.

But I did have a girlfriend. She was like, she wanted to be fisted. And I was like, I'm not going to do that. Because it's like, it's violent. Yeah, it's violence. it's going to hurt you and I don't want to hurt someone. You know, I know there's, I'm like, you will find guys who are into hurting you. And God bless, but that's not me.

Yeah, I'm not. No judgment, but like it's just not. Basically, it was like that. It's just like Brussels sprouts. I just don't like them, you know? Yeah. I don't judge it. I don't think anything about them.

I just, that's not my question. Yeah. You have as many as you want. I just don't like them. Yeah. Yeah. All right, guys. We have come to the end.

We have come to the end. Thanks, everyone. Bye, guys. See you later. Bye, y'all. See you on my name.