Desert Island Dicks - ANIA MAGLIANO

Episode Date: February 28, 2022

Who is it? It's the comedian Ania Magliano, here to share who she believes to be the worst people and things to be stuck on a desert island with. Give it a listen with the entirety of your ears, and let the good times come flooding into your face. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Awkward. Discover top brands at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. Hello. My name is Dan from Desert Island Dicks and I don't know why I said hello like a kindly old gentleman in the snow. Hello, come into my lovely warm cottage. I think I need to sleep more because things like this just keep coming out of my mouth and I don't know why. Look, let's just get on with it because today the episode features Anya Magliano. She's a comedian. She's funny. Those two things go hand in hand, obviously. You're going to find that out as

you listen to the podcast. We had a lovely time recording and I think that's it. I think, you know, just listen to the podcast. just have a lovely time. Yeah, you know what would be good once you've had a lovely time is if you could tell your friends, tell your friends about the podcast. People are always going, any podcast recommendations

and you can say, do you know what, actually, I always forget, but yeah, I do have a recommendation. It's called Desert Island Dicks. Really simple format. It's a bit like another format that's been around for a while,

but it's kind of a bit, you know, sarcastic anyway if you could do that that would be great um another way to support us is to just subscribe give us a rating on you know on the itunes or whatever um that's always very uh useful for us in ways that are too boring to go into but it does make a difference at our end so um if you could we'd appreciate it thank you very much that's it let's listen to a podcast shall we i probably won't listen to it i mean i might i'm not gonna listen to it now i was there but you you listen to it thank you Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash

with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest and here to share their desert island dicks with us today is comedian, podcaster and writer Anya Magliano. How are you doing? Hello! I am so excited for this. In a way that I think actually says quite a lot about my personality that isn't necessarily good. I was like, oh god, there are some things that I really am ready to get off my chest good good I mean you know the last couple of years has been hard for all of us we can use that as an excuse for those of us who would have been as happy to vent about people they hate before the pandemic as well but it's quite nice now we have like an excuse of a

global pandemic to say it's been you know we've all got stuff to get off our chests now you know forgetting that some of us just like to rant beforehand anyway yeah some of our personalities were like that before as well but we can just be like no it's just because it's been such a hard year um and i mean so in general do you find yourself you're quite fond of a little rant or was it all pent up inside I think I maybe do try and see the best in people and not get too wound up by things um but I'll like let myself have one or two things that I just go really hard on hating just as like a little valve to get it out the way yeah yeah I think it's important sometimes a hundred percent you know like now I'm sort of about to, I'm going to be 40 this year and I'm sort of, you know, I'm finding my little pet peeves for middle age, you know, so like electric scooters or like the bins. Yeah.

Because it's so easy to just go, oh God, the state of the country. I'm like, no, I'm going to keep it local. You know, like you're going too fast down that side road. Yeah, exactly. I had this, I had this experience the other day where for the first time I had to call, like, what was it? I was trying to get our washing machine repaired. Right. And I'm, I'm 23, I'm about to turn 24. So like, no, I would say I don't always feel like an adult. Um, but when I was on the phone to this washing machine person, they were sending me back and forth between the company who installed it and the washing machine people, and it genuinely took about half a day,

and I was like, oh, this is adulthood. And I was so angry, and I was like, this is all, especially as a comedian, you see so many people doing routines about the kind of basic household chores and how frustrating they are, and when I watched them as a kid, I'd always be like be like god these people are always exaggerating and banging on about this sort of stuff and now I'm like oh no there was absolutely no exaggeration it's all terrible yeah I find myself like as you know I'm a grown-up now and but I find myself quite often like something will happen like yeah like something with a washing machine or the house or like like the cat's been sick everywhere and i need to clean it up and i'm just

like constantly thinking where's the grown-up where's the adult who's going to come and sort all this oh it's me like i'm the fucking grown-up now like the buck stops here like i've got to do this shit um well anyway look we've we've set out our store it's raining outside i think the conditions are perfect to to start getting into some real dicks here so let's let's get into it who's going to be the first dick joining you on the island okay so the first one i didn't want to mention a specific uh name of a person because it's someone from my life, but I'm going to expand it into an archetype of a type of young boy, which is like a 17 year old boy who's just discovered like general political ideas, which is obviously stemmed from like ex-boyfriends um around that age of like teenage ex-boyfriends

where they've like either i feel like i've had i've had and i've met um them from all ends of the political spectrum whether they've just discovered like karl marx or just discovered like donald trump and it's like uh their whole, but without any of the nuance or understanding. And like, I think actually not very interested in it and more interested in telling people about it. Because I think like it would, what would be even worse as well, because if you're on this island

and I'm on this island with them, is that they'd be trying to inflict all these political ideas on us, on the island. And I'd be like, we, you don't, none of this is actually going to be relevant in practice right now, but i'd be like we you don't none of this is actually going to be relevant in practice right now but it would be like a lord of the flies situation where they would really think that they know how we should be running the island and it would just be unbearable yeah and they'd be 17 so they'd be you know like not have any of the

necessary life experience to understand any of the ideas they were like purporting. I think it would be absolute hell. Yeah. Cause I suppose they're like a sort of, they're like a real like triple threat, you know, cause they've got the real earnestness of youth,

you know, and also the, the, the energy that comes with being young, you know, we're like, you won't just suddenly go off an idea and give up, you know, because they've had enough sleep and they're not just haven't been crushed by life enough yet. And then you've got, yeah, just like a young man explaining something to you a lot, you know, like say like a sort of junior mansplainer as well.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And just someone who bangs on about politics too much. So it's a real sort of compound dick there, I think you've got. mansplainer as well yeah yeah yeah and just someone who bangs on about politics too much so it's a real sort of compound dick there i think you've got yeah i've managed to squeeze in like quite a lot of unfathomably bad things into one concise person and i think like they've never it's just like a general a general type of person that i think you will meet and they can be annoying in any situation like they can be an annoying in like a group situation or in a one-on-one situation and like I was because I was thinking about all these people that I've picked also as a group and I just

think there's no there's no winning circumstance for this young man well because I went to uni in Brighton so that was basically mostly populated by people like this so like yeah you know I know exactly what you're talking about and you know like a lot of Che Guevara posters on the wall you know like a lot of very sort of earnest discussions late at night yeah absolutely do you know what I think part of it is maybe comes from like I definitely always felt like slightly intimidated by those sorts of figures and I feel like the way they talk about it is in a way where it's like first and foremost to show off their intelligence because like I obviously care about uh politics

and I do like want to make things better and stuff but I think it took me so long to realize that that was the thing that I could care about because I felt like it was so like gatekeeper-y by all these people who were just using these terms just because they had learned them to sound like more intelligent than everyone else. And so you never feel like you can actually, I never had the confidence to engage with it because I was always like, I'm going to sound stupid. And that's like such a sad thing and it's like they actually like I think there were probably so many times where I could have actually contributed something but I didn't yeah no I agree and I just think though it's kind of like having this person on the island would be kind of like having an excited puppy but one that only talks about sort of social policy and, you know, communism and things like that. And uses words like hegemony and...

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course, blah, blah, blah. You're taking in mind the diaspora of... It's like, no, just, like, come on, just find a fucking coconut for us. Yeah, exactly. And I think they would have one of the worst personality traits that I can't stand in people,

which is they don't... They can never accept that they're wrong like that would really compound it because there are when I meet someone like that in life like I feel like I have a sixth sense sixth sense for it and I'm like sixth sense I can't say sixth sense for it I'm like oh no this is not gonna end well like I just would be like well we're never gonna reach a level of uh friendship if you can't accept that you're ever wrong about anything yeah and i think especially with with the like sort of character you know on an island as well they're going to be doing stuff wrong we're on an island honey we've never done it before and if they're not going to be able to

accept that and they're going to just keep going back to, like, whatever pamphlet they've read, oh, my God, it would be exhausting. And also, yeah, it's like the thing you said of them being, you know, 17, youthful, full of idealism. And they probably would see the island as, like, oh, this is our chance to, like, create a society that's really perfect. And I'd be like, no, let's just get a tan and chill out. Yeah, yeah, very much so as I get older I'm very much sliding into what I've termed um positive nihilism where I just stop giving a shit about anything but in quite an upbeat way you know so I think it's all bollocks

but I'm really happy with that you know and it's sort of okay I could watch the news all the time and get angry or I could just occasionally watch it get angry for a bit and then just go well fuck it it's same as usual just carry on oh what's what's for tea yeah yeah yeah I say that to some people and they look at me with sort of sad pitying eyes but I'm having a nicer time I think so yeah I mean I I'm a like I absolutely do think there are things we should be trying to change and i like pick those and care about them but like i don't i don't think that's at the heart of what these sorts of characters are like i don't think they're actually necessarily trying

to change something i think they're like oh i've just learned about this thing that makes me sound clever so i'm gonna tell everyone about it um which isn't what i want to hear like if i wanted to do that i would listen to a podcast yeah i think also this sort of person because they're going to be so passionate they will also probably get quite angry about things um you know yeah and um as you say you're going to be on this island things aren't really going to affect you anymore it's time to chill out and relax but they're still getting really angry about, I don't know, how America behaved with Venezuela a long time ago or something like that, you know.

So I just think you could do without it. So, okay, so we've got sort of 17-year-old political idealist on the island. Who's going to be joining him? Who's your next dick? Okay, so this one is kind of like there's a bit more logic to it, right, because it's going to sound insane at first. But my therapist.

Okay. I don't think she's a dick, but I don't want her on that island. It would be really annoying to have her on the island because like, first of all, at the moment we operate like one hour a week and she helps me with my problems. And it's like one of the conversations I have where I don't have to ask like how she is and take on her emotional burden you know it's literally like just to help me so that would go out of the window on the

island like we would not be able to have that relationship and I'd have to see her as a flawed person and she'd probably this is like the exact I'm actually contradicting myself so badly like I don't want the previous I want the previous person to be able to admit they've done stuff wrong whereas I don't want my therapist to do anything wrong ever um yeah but I think that's fair yeah yeah yeah if she did so if she started acting crazy I'd be like oh my god has everything I've ever learned to do the work on myself been a lie. And also if I had to see her, like, if I saw my therapist, like, shitting a hole in the sand, I'm just not going to be able to talk to her about my relationship with my family.

It would be so difficult, though, because it's someone that you're so used to sharing everything with and they just sort of suck it all up and spit back some good advice. Yeah. You know, it's such a weird one-sided thing, like you say. But when you have to then listen to them being upset about stuff, it's like, but you know the advice more than I do. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can't help in this situation. Do you want to tell it to me quickly and then I'll say it back to you so it feels like I'm giving you proper advice because i haven't got a fucking clue and also like what would happen if i feel like we would never be able to remove the therapy context right so um i'd just be like doing stuff on the island and be worried about like what was coming through because at the moment at least i can i can kind of pick what i tell her what i'm like, OK, maybe we need to talk about this or unpack it. But she would be looking at everything I do on the island. And like maybe, you know, I'd build a shelter with like one door and she'd be like, OK, but what does that mean about your relationship with your mum growing up?

I'd be like, we're actually just on an island. Like, we don't need to be talking about this all the time. And I would feel so exposed. Yeah, because I often wonder with my therapist, like I keep meaning to ask her, like, would you tell me if you think I'm just being a dick about something that I'm telling you? On an island, you'd kind of think,

I've presented this reality to you through our conversations. Now you're going to see the whole me. I'd sort of want to check in at some point and be like, does this fit with what you thought of me before? sorry it's not about we're not doing this now but did it it's just so it's it would just be so odd like also because I only do my therapy on zoom at the moment no I do it on as a phone call even so like without video and we just be there in the flesh and it would just be and I think also my therapist is quite good at like also talking about our relationship because I've had like a lot of really bad therapists in my life so I think we'd have to talk about that as well and be like so what has

being on this island like done for our relationship and it would be so tiring and I'd be going from that to the teenage boy telling me about marks again and I'd just be exhausted I'd be knackered yeah because it would be so hard not to just go to them and just sort of vent and then think oh god it's not fair on you because you're also marooned on a desert island and yeah yeah the idea of seeing them in real life like yeah mine mine is on zoom but i know that she lives very close to me and i don't know exactly where so there is like a possibility of bumping into in real life you know if you're young and you sort of bump into a teacher in Sainsbury's or something so who's gonna round up this trio of dicks and who's gonna who's gonna be the missing piece in

the shitty puzzle okay so my my train of thought I'm gonna explain it to you um originally I was like who would be like worst value for like anecdotes and like entertainment wise because like i think i've picked people who would you know either annoy me or damage my relationship with them so i was like the the third piece of this puzzle is someone who just is really bringing nothing um and i wrote down two options uh the queen or a random baby which is already I feel like no offence to the queen that it's up between her and a random baby

but to be honest I imagine the queen has lived a pretty sheltered life she's just like an old baby this is a new opinion that I've decided to road test on this podcast. This is not one of my beliefs that I've really thoroughly interrogated. I think the baby would be more annoying because then you're thrust into parenthood of a baby that you have like no connection with and like very little resources and it would have no uh anecdotes or

banter no they've got terrible chat yeah i think there's a lot of similarities like because i mean the queen like a baby has to be constantly looked after and cared for everyone's very worried that she might die at some point has a probably quite a specific diet. Yeah. You know, has someone dressed her? Has someone, you know, has someone do all her stuff for her? She would not be able to cope. And also like, yeah, she would, it would be the same as like the therapist relationship

where it'd be like, we always have this relationship on this island of being like, okay, well, you're the queen, I guess. So like you get to do whatever you want. Like we probably have to prioritize you to some extent because you are the queen. And I actually don't't know like if we got rescued and we were with the queen and she died like fuck there would be no coming back from that i think if there was like a random baby on the island and the baby died you know the daily mail would be angry but like if the

queen died like that would be it for me i mean it's it's difficult isn't it because both of them you'd have to look after a lot neither of them would be useful in any way yeah people say that she is kind of a bit more hands-on than you'd expect okay that's good and she likes out well or used to at least like outdoor pursuits and things like that so maybe she could and she's got a very stiff upper lip of course so she'd be able to sort of weather the storm quite well that's true I think maybe she would bring some maybe she maybe I will have to go for the baby just because she might actually she might not be that bad and maybe I do you know what I reckon like maybe she would see the funny side a little bit like I don't think it would be all bad I mean it might be a nice break for her because she's just you know she can let her guard down a bit but i think with a baby i mean you know i have two children and one of them is

a baby at the minute um you know you're not getting a lot back you know a lot of the time is just firefighting you know you're like oh don't eat that don't put your hand in that don't pick that up so on a on a beach environment it's, you'd just forever be trying to get sand out of its mouth. You know, he wants to crawl over there, but it's the middle of the day. So you don't want him to get sunburned because, you know, you don't have a sunburned baby. And so then they're angry. And I just think it would be so much work on top of just surviving. It would be an absolute burden. And I do think, I guess, like, the one potential problem with the Queen

is that in tandem with the 17-year-old boy, like, I think that could cause some real friction because I'm pretty certain he would be, like, anti-monarchy. Yeah. And there could be some conflict there. But maybe that would be entertainment, you know? Maybe I wouldn't... Maybe that could deflect him from debating me if it's just him versus the queen whereas with a baby

that's like that's not diffusing any other situations though maybe the maybe the therapist if my therapist was raising the baby maybe it would be quite a good baby but ultimately like it will at that point I'm thinking like pretty young like like more of an inconvenience than anything else yeah I think it'd be really hard I mean you'd have to look after it it's gonna it's such a weight on your shoulders I also don't really like I haven't got to a point in my life where I kind of know how to hang around hang around with babies and like young kids like I don't really understand I'm not good with them like so if we were there for a long amount of time until it was about I don't know until it had the capacity for like

a little bit of you know good chat I'd be absolutely lost because like even when you know I have some younger like younger brothers and stuff and when I was a bit younger and they were even younger I just had no idea how to talk to them. Because there's always been like an age gap of like 10 years. And I'd just be like, I don't know what to say to you. Like, what are you into? Like Lego? What is there to talk about?

Yeah, I'm the same with my kids, to be honest. I mean, you know, the older one's going to be five soon. And, you know, you can just chat away. But when he was young i found it really hard until he was about two or something like i just you know we got along fine yeah yeah but um i've gone i'm painting myself as a terrible father but um what i mean is i think you're right basically i think um it takes a while for this sort of the interaction in the chat to sort of get you know meaningful and more interesting yeah it just, there would just be a lot of awkward silences.

Yeah. And the same with the therapist. Like, it's just awkward silences on an island would just be hell. I think this is great. I think these three people are very solid, and I think between them it's going to be a really awkward atmosphere. So we're off to a good start here. With Amex Platinum, you can really be in the now. Access to Resi Priority Notify? Yes! So we're off to a good start here. go. You can focus on the present moment. That's the powerful backing of American Express. Terms

apply. Learn more at AmericanExpress.com slash with Amex. Card member entrance access not limited to Amex Platinum Card. You're a podcast listener, and this is a podcast ad. Reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lips and Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to LipsonAds.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N-Ads.com. OK, now, mercifully, amongst the wreckage of the plane, there was some food and drink left over. Unfortunately for you, it's your least favourite food and drink in the world what are they and why are they so bad right so the food um this was the first answer that came to me like

straight away when when like it's so so obvious to me what it is it is the uh toffee penny from the quality street box i hate it with my entire being um and also i think this context right the only only only redeeming feature of the toffee penny um or the toffee like whatever it is called in any of those selection boxes like whatever it is there's just like a solid toffee circle um disc sort of thing the only redeeming feature of it is that it's just like a solid toffee circle, um, disc sort of thing. The only redeeming feature of it is that it's in amongst the other things that I do like, like anything with a bit of praline or just anything like I'll even prefer like coconut over, um, over these like shit toffee things. And so if it was just that, oh my God, it would be an absolute slap in the face. Um, because also it's such a like hard

the one specifically in the I think the quality street box is like so dense it's like a star and it's just it would be you know you'd probably damage your mouth chewing it um and also it's one of those things where actually the amount of calories that you'd probably eat chewing it would balance out the nutritional value that it was bringing so it would do nothing for you health-wise either um and i just think that they're they're dreadful it's one of those foods where like if you're eating something like granola as well you know when your temples start getting sort of tired you know just from all the chewing you're like god this God, this is like, my face is tired. Yeah, is my face going to get ripped from eating this? Yeah, like, it's real bulging temples.

Like, God, that guy must eat a lot of toffee pennies. It's like a jawline like Brad Pitt, but also like weirdly bulging temples. Or like a Sophie Ellis Baxter, I think. I think maybe her, David Coulthard, they've all got good strong jaws. Maybe that's the thing. Okay, so a toffee penny.

What would you try and wash it down with to sort of get it unstuck from your teeth? So I would be washing it down with cranberry juice. It wasn't the first thing I thought of, but kind of came around to it um in terms of an answer I've never come around to it in life uh because someone was talking about it the other day and it made me kind of remember like it was one of the few experiences in life where someone's like mentioned a food or drink to me and like I've remembered it in my mouth and being like oh dear like that's not good and we were saying that cranberry juice is like one of the few drinks that's actually like dry in your mouth yeah it makes your mouth drier and

like the only redeeming feature i think cranberry juice has is that it's like meant to cure utis yes but if i was getting a uti it means i'd be having sex with the 17-year-old boy. So that's even worse. So I have absolutely no purpose for this cranberry juice. And I just think like it's not, it's kind of like too watery to be a proper juice. Like it's not like orange juice or even apple juice I can get on board with.

Because it's like, you know, there's flavor there and there's body. Whereas with cranberry juice, it's just like a ghost, a dry ghost in your mouth. I feel like I remember it coming on the scene, but maybe that's just like I remember the first time I tried it. I'm sure it just didn't exist and then suddenly it was everywhere for a bit. It was like the new juice on the block, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I remember sort of quite liking it despite the weirdness of it. But then, you know, there's that, was it Ocean Spray? What's the brand? Yeah. Then they launched one that was like cranberry and raspberry. And you're suddenly like, oh, this is better. And you think maybe that's because the base product is quite shit it's like maybe i just want raspberry juice you know but um yeah it's weird because you start off and it's like oh this is sweet no it's bitter

where's dry what the like how is it doing that yeah how is it transforming through all the bad like bad aspects of flavor like i don't know what the like other than the uti thing i don't know why people would drink it because like if you're drinking juice i think you probably are looking for something like you have maybe a bit of a sweet tooth um but where where do you fall if you're like i've got a sweet tooth but only enough to drink cranberry juice like something's wrong there yeah i can really take i'd forgotten how dry it was but my mouth is kind of watering in response to like my brain thinking how dry it is it's really weird it's such a weird one i i can't remember what the conversation was that started it but i think also we spoke about in the context of vodka cranberry um as like a drink

in the club um but also like how has it weaseled its way into that as like a popular thing I haven't drunk vodka cranberry in in ages but so I can't remember if it works as like a taste combination but that's the only other way I can think of it being used in like popular culture. And even then it's like, you're only drinking it for the, like it's just anything mixed with vodka. It's just, I drank, vodka was like the drink I did at like house parties and stuff when I first started going out and drinking and getting too drunk and like vomiting every night. Not every night, actually.

Vomiting every night that I drank. And yeah, anything mixed with vodka is just like, you just, at that age, you just want to get drunk. Like it's about getting it into the system, like with whatever carrier vehicle is like available in the shop. And so I can imagine that cranberry juice kind of became part of that scene through like availability. But I don't think it actually

like it doesn't it's not you don't drink that vodka cranberry and go like oh that's actually that's a really gorgeous flavor like it's not for that it's probably useful if you have cystitis but it's your best friend's birthday and you can't not go yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah no good shout i'm with you on that definitely okay. Okay, now, fortunately, you won't be without entertainment on your island. The Plains Entertainment System continues to work, but just your luck, it only has two working settings. One is your least favourite film of all time

and the other is your least favourite song. What are they and why? Right, so I've kind of gone slightly different for each of these. I haven't gone least favourite film. I've gone film that i think i've seen the most and so watching again i just be like why i i do love it but i reckon after a few more viewings there would be nothing left to see um which is the i'll say incredible film um school of rock starring jack black um which i think is genuinely an incredible film but it was like when when um me and my mum would like go on holiday on the lap on itunes on the

itunes store school of rock was the only film that we bought so like when if we had if we took like the laptop on holiday or whatever school of rock was the only film that we could watch and on the plane or whatever on the car journey School of Rock was the only film that we could watch and on the plane or whatever, on the car journey, School of Rock was the only film that I could watch. I've seen it so many times. And then in lockdown, I think I watched it a few more times as like a comfort film. But it's like one of the few things that I just,

I know all the words to it. And I like, I could get it stuck in my head in the same way as a song because I know like the exact uh rhythm of the like dialogue and everything I know it so well that like maybe it would provide a bit of comfort the first watch but after that like it would be so frustrating because I'm sure that there are films that like I haven't liked but they're not they don't stick in my mind as well. And at least, you know, it'd be something interesting.

I'd be like, oh, okay, I guess I can watch that again. Because if it's a film I haven't liked, I've only watched it probably once or, you know, half of it or whatever. But with School of Rock, it would be such a shame. It would be like my therapist, you know, which in a way fulfilling a lot of similar roles in my life, I'd be like this beautiful thing that was my comfort is now turning into my torture.

Yeah. Yeah, I think hearing the annoying person, like the 17-year-old I'm thinking particularly, like hearing him singing some of the songs you like from the film. That's so true. Would be really annoying. Or go, oh, I do a really good Jack Black impression. No, you don't.

Yeah. Stuff like that would be, it's like, this is the one good thing that's not even that good anymore and you're spoiling it as well yeah you know some films you wish you could watch again for the first time yeah and you'd never be able to have that and so it'd be sort of hard to even remember where the jokes are and stuff after a long time yeah I think it would it would send you a little bit loopy and i do think like it is a great film and it is it is funny i wonder if i've kind of paced it right throughout my life whereby i've had enough gaps that i can still appreciate it and if i watched it more closely whether it would be one of those things where i'm like oh it's actually

not that good but i think i think now I'm now I'm confidently saying that it stands the test of time yeah I think it stands up yeah but I think it's just just you'd have to find new things about it or like there'd be things we go I'd never noticed that before that really annoys me or yeah like little little bits of it that you just can't not see after a little long time yeah and I just I just know it so well it would like make my brain stagnate but my song the song is just like uh because i i initially thought like i'd probably do that with a song as well but then i thought no no no there are songs that i just fucking hate and like it's specifically dubstep i I cannot stand dubstep.

And there actually has been like a lot of crossover with like annoying 17 year old boys and dubstep and like that sort of thing. Like I, a lot of people that I hung out with when I was younger were really into dubstep. And I like, obviously when you're younger, stuff that gets shown to you can be something that you come to really enjoy. And like dubstep just never even came close. I would never, I was like, this is what, what has gone wrong in someone's life to make this sort of music? Sorry if you're a fan. I remember dubstep coming along and it was quite different to what it then

became. And at the beginning I was like, okay, this is all right. And I don't mind it. And then it got so loud and ridiculous. Like it sort of sounded like an explosion in JD sports or something. You know what I mean? It was really like just so over the top and mad. But I don't know, are there still like dubstep nights and stuff? I'm sure there are because like, so I was looking up, so the song that I picked specifically is Bangarang by Skrillex,

but it could be any dubstep song. But that one as well, I started to play just to check. So I knew there were a few that I really hated that were really popular. And that was one of them. And I was like, I was playing it at normal volume on my phone. And I was like, I've got a headache now. I need to take a paracetamol. Like it was absolutely horrible.

But whilst I was looking on Spotify, like there are quite a lot of like dubstep playlists and stuff that I guess seem to be being updated. So I'm sure there are still people who like it and they're wrong. Yeah, sure. I remember like years ago being at house parties and there'd be some guy who came on and was like, I'm just going to play the nastiest dubstep possible, regardless of if anyone's enjoying it or not, you know. I don't think hearing it more, especially repeatedly on an island, I don't think I would warm to it. Because, you know, I've had it in my life

where people who I know have really liked it and played it multiple times. And that's never done it for me. So if it's on an island, like there's no way, there's no, there's just no, there's no universe in which I become someone who likes dubstep. Like that's the one thing I know about my personality I think as well yeah you know the

17 year old he'll just be there and then he'll like start beatboxing or something right yeah come on yeah I think there's like every genre has its good and bad bits but I think dubstep the bad outweighs the good most of the time I think absolutely I do think I just had a horrible like a thought that's given me anxiety even though it's entirely hypothetical but the worst situation would be that my therapist revealed she was into dubstep I'd be like there's no way forward from we can't unpack we can't resolve this like there's if if I found out someone that I respected that deeply and it helped me with so much of my life was into dubstep I'd I'd walk into the sea imagine if that was her advice once you know you're like oh you know I'm feeling myself I'm quite anxious I find it really

hard to shut off at the end of the day and she's like do you know what I do after listening to people's problems like eight hours a day I I put on Bangarang by Skrillex. I love that it's called Bangarang as well. It's such a stupid name. I mean, it's perfect. It's a perfect name. It's just, I mean, it's kind of wonderful in a way, but it's just so silly, like Bangarang.

Yeah, it's like someone's made it up for like a sketch about taking the piss out of dubstep. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it's so on point. But yeah, okay. Well, yeah, a good choice, I think. Now, finally, the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals.

Which animal is it and why? So I think it's fleas um and i think this is kind of uh slightly topical for me because i think my cat has fleas at the moment i have defleed him but um i was a bit late with it and uh i was getting you know loads of itches in my bed and he sleeps in my bed and I was like this is this is really uncomfortable and I'm also uh well I I had I get like really bad reactions to it and uh someone someone who I was with was like oh I think you're allergic and I was like oh yeah we're all allergic that's why we have these reactions isn't it and she was like no no I think you're like properly allergic because I'm allergic and you're like that's not a normal reaction to a bike on me they go like absolutely massive and horrible um and at the moment like it's really they really ruin your day yeah and it's kind of because i thought initially i thought

mosquitoes but there's almost like a more perilous element to mosquitoes i think whereas with fleas it's like they're a little bit just more annoying and also if all the animals on the like i love animals uh like as i said have a cat like i i think animals are great and if i couldn't like hang out with any of the animals and get any solace if there was like a stray cat on the island if i couldn't give it a cuddle because it was covered in fleas like that would be really dangling the carrot and then the carrot is covered in fleas as well like it was just it would just be so sad um and like itching itching is just like one of the most base human things that when you do you're like oh god how could anyone ever love me but I think as well with

fleas one of those things like you hear the word and you just start itching, even if there's nothing on you. It sort of makes you feel itchy. At least with a mosquito, you could sort of see it and swat it as well. Yeah, that's so true. You don't always get them. But fleas, like my cat had fleas last year. Oh, God. My wife was like, I haven't seen any of them.

I was like, maybe I've got fleas then. Like, is it me? You know, and at that point, you're like, can I spray this stuff on myself? Like put that stuff on the back of your neck. You know, and you just constantly sort of feel a bit itchy. Like now I'm like, I really want to like just itch, scratch myself, like just be thinking about them all. So it's like, it's something that even when they're not there,

it's affecting you you know yeah even if somehow you manage to cure the island of its fleas it would still be a problem in your mind like it would send you crazy yeah and how yeah you can't get rid of them because you're on a desert island and yeah and also like with the sand and like salty water if you're going in the sea and like the salty water in the bites like it would just be so horrible and also if there aren't any other animals on the island then like what a shit animal like it's not even one that you can cuddle yeah and you've got a baby you know baby getting fleas baby's covered in fleas it's really i've painted quite a bleak picture here well you know that's that's the whole point of this exercise and

you've nailed the brief. So well done. Thank you so much. It's making me feel so grateful for my life. That's the beautiful outcome of this is that I feel intensely grateful that I'm like currently feeling at least not covered in fleas and like I don't no one's making me listen to Skrillex like that's beautiful well you know what it's nice to have a good reaction from this because a lot of people say I'm really riled up now I was in a good mood before we started doing this you know when you host a podcast that sort of generates hate from people it's quite nice to be able to trick yourself that there is a positive outcome now and again. No, I'm 100% taking the positivity aspect of like,

I can control like none of these things in my life at the moment. And I can't be more grateful than that. Great. Okay. Now, Anya, what are you up to at the minute for people who want to catch more of you or follow you? Oh, yeah. So I do a lot of stand-up uh shows stand-up like i'm working on like an hour stand-up show for the first time so i'm doing loads of previews of that all over the place and i also um have a podcast with my friend harry which is called the weekly shop um which is about uh people's shopping baskets and as you can tell from like how passionate i was about the toffee penny and cranberry juice, like it's, you know, it's really important to me shopping products. But yeah,

I'm on social media on Instagram. I'm at Anya Magliano and on Twitter, I'm at Anya Mags and I just post incessantly about everything I'm doing. So if you're watching those accounts, like you won't miss it unless you mute me, which would be fair. Brilliant. Okay, well, we'll catch up with everything there then. And thank you once again for coming on Desert Island Dicks today.

Thank you so much for having me. so there you go Agne Magliano for you there and I hope you enjoyed it now let me tell you one thing well I'm going to tell you several things wrapped up into one thing which is that Desert Island Dicks is a Sink Clap production

created by James Deacon, produced and presented by me, Dan Benedictus, and edited by Chris Attaway, who does a wonderful job. We get social media support from Jason Leitch and Chinsey Clinton, and a special mention, as always, to the Grand Mamster Flash and the legendary

the one and only John Deacon. He's not actually the one and only. There is another. There's the John Deacon from Queen. I'm not talking about him. I don't like the John Deacon from Queen, but I do like this John Deacon, father of James Deacon. He's a wonderful man. I think that's it. So

we'll be back again, as always. So if you subscribe, you'll get that straight away, and you don't even need to look for it. So thanks for listening. Hope you have a nice time doing that thing you're about to do. Bye!