Desert Island Dicks - COMPACT DICKS 31

Episode Date: February 17, 2023

This week we are treated to some exceptional emails from YOU the listeners! Submit your own choice for the island now ad dickspod.com/contact Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

This episode is brought to you by United Airlines. When you want to make the most of your vacation, book with United. They're an airline that cares about your travels as much as you do. United is transforming the flying experience with Bluetooth connectivity, screens, power at every seat, and bigger overhead bins to help fit everyone's bag. And with their app, you can skip the bag check line, get live updates, and more. Change the way you fly. Book your next trip today at United.com. At Sierra, discover joyous deals on great gifts for everyone

on your list, like cozy slippers, ski gear, fishing poles, bikes, large kayaks, even larger canoes, which might lead to another discovery. Robbing gifts is the only sport you need to stay fit this season. Tis the season to discover great gifts at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. So I feel like for today, if you set them up and I knock them out of the park, because I'm sick of taking a back seat. Are we recording? We're recording. Hello recording hello everyone this is compact dicks this is the sister the side podcast the accompaniment to desert island dicks this is where you the listener get to submit your suggestions for the desert island and Dan and I read them out hello Hello, Dan. Hey, James. It's great to be here. Thanks for having me.

Oh, no, you're more than welcome. Obviously, I'm always here as the usual host. But look, the point is we've got some great submissions from listeners today. We've got two particularly beautiful emails from you guys that we're going to read out. And I'm so excited. I think I'm not even going to read out and i'm so excited i think i'm not even going to put in a submission this week for myself we're just going to just going to let the whole podcast shine around these two emails from listeners oh let's do they're just so good i'm really impressed so um dan should i yeah you should okay so michelle has gotten in touch and

she's contacted us via dixpod.com slash contacts as you should as well if you were inspired by this suggestion so michelle says submission for compact dicks sorry if it's a bit long don't worry michelle we love it hi dan and james firstly love the little quiz today oh so at the end of last the last compact dicks we did a little quiz today. Oh, so at the end of the last Compact Dicks, we did a little quiz, which was sent in by the listener, Dylan. Yeah, I enjoyed that too. Which was a lot of fun. Yeah, so go back and listen to that after this if you haven't heard it already.

I had the same answers as Dan, though my mind did briefly and unhelpfully flash the word sphincter as plural for sphinx. Which I think is great. You read out a previous message of mine regarding trifle and i still think it's one of the most ungodly textual combinations but we've covered that already so let's get to the point i remember that actually coming in and i did have a quick look michelle you sent that in two years ago believe it or not okay michelle goes to say, the thing I'd like to put onto the island is badly organised people who constantly tell you how busy they are.

So much flapping and faffing and spending half of their time making sure they tell everyone they see about how much they've got to do. When if they just sat quietly and got on with it, they'd have done it already. This is particularly grating in an open office environment where these people seem to gather en masse to drink coffee and loudly make sure they sound like the busiest bee in the hive in fact if they were bees it would teach them a lesson the drones are not physically capable of working, can't sting, collect pollen or nectar, or take care of their larvae, but can only eat and mate. If the weather is cold, they can't mate.

They are a huge drain on resources. Any drones left get booted out. In autumn, it's common to see these drones being pulled out of the hive or lying dead in the grass. Wow. pulled out of the hive or lying dead in the grass wow wow anyway i'm not a total monster and i'm not saying the annoying people deserve to be dragged out and die in the cold but these people would do well to remember instead of droning on but that they are lucky that they are lucky to have human privilege and maybe be a bit quieter about how useless they are anyway carry on with the fab pod i've got another one of these to write but i need to get really fully mad about it first

to get the full benefit thanks michelle thank you michelle that was great and so good i like that she's really gearing herself up before she can write the second one i know i just like i love that she just wants to build that venom but the analogy in the second one i know i just like i love that she just wants to build that venom but the analogy in the middle of that it was just like went on first reading i just thought this is so good yeah it's beautiful yeah i mean i feel like this is based on very specific people she knows right i mean it has to be i mean we're lucky in that we don't work from an office most of the time um but we did and i have met people like this definitely and i would go as far as to say i think i probably am one of these people it's just like i'm like oh god i've got so much to do but uh actually i just

haven't sat down and done my to-do list yet. When you sit down and do the to-do list, you're like, oh, I could probably achieve this in the next two hours if I shut up and got on with it. But I think it's just, I don't know, people are sort of complaining about something that's easily solvable as well. Just, you know, shut up. Especially if you're trying to get on with stuff in the office.

It's like, it's grating. It's like if you've got no, you know, if you're just in the office and you're not busy and you've got nothing to do then fair enough but when you're trying to do stuff it's so frustrating it's like all right i get it you're busy shut up you're obviously not helping yourself and she's put that point beautifully i think um fantastic email michelle i absolutely love that start to Yeah, thank you very much for sending that in. Dan, we've had a kind of a little bit of a food-ish week. Well, obviously we had a fantastic episode

with Ray Bradshaw on Monday, which was brilliant. And then because the chef Tom Kerridge, who's a great guest on Desert Island Dicks, is returning as a judge for the Great British Menu. We decided to rebroadcast his episode, and it's gone down really well. By all accounts, people have absolutely loved hearing it, and I think new listeners to the podcast have kind of rediscovered it, and hopefully it'll prompt people to go back and listen to other old episodes.

Based on that and the fact that he's a chef my dad for this week has given us some of his favorite foodie selections from the back catalog so should we have a listen to those now let's do it hi james hi dan well great episode this week dan with ray bradshaw i love it when the pod comes up with a new name that i've never heard of and looking at him and some of his material, it's great to actually get to listen to these new acts. Obviously, with this week's theme on the Great British Menu and obviously re-releasing Tom Kerridge's episode,

I'd like to have a little bit of a theme of my recommendations this week on food. It's a bit of a given that I'm going to recommend firstly Jay Rayner's episode I almost recommend his every week but it is a real classic but also I'd like to recommend Michelin star chef's Tom Brown's episode which came out in March 2021. Funnily enough he and Jay Rayner both chose baked beans. So there you go. Next, I'd like to recommend some episodes that I've possibly recommended in the past. Firstly, Miles Chapman and Marco Sullivan's episode

from March 2018. Miles chose the Musco meal, which his wife puts together from almost out of date to food from the fridge. But also their take on Yoko Ono is brilliant and well worth a listen next is alison spittles episode from april 2020 alison chose calamari and its likeness to pig's anus the term pig's anus is calamari's modest cousin well i think they'll live with

me forever but next i'd like to recommend stephen k amos's live episode from february 2022 stephens chose tripe as a meal that he was forced to eat as a child that is yet again a great episode he came out with us for a drink afterwards and uh true gentlemen this week's episodes are jay rayner from november, Tom Brown's episode from March 2021, Miles Chapman and Marco Sullivan's episodes from March 2018, Alison Spittel's episode from April 2020, and Stephen K. Moss's live episode

from February 2022. I hope you enjoy and bon appétit. There you go. Thank you again, thank you again John Deacon, wonderful He's got a In the rest of his life, obviously I know your dad But you know him better

In the rest of his life, does he have such an encyclopedic Memory for things? Because I always find it amazing How well he remembers all the episodes of Design Dicks I know I would say Maybe for specific things, there are certain things, if he's interested in them,

he might know quite a bit about them. He knows quite a bit about music and stuff like that. Well, his wonderful mind is to his credit, and it is to our advantage because it's incredibly useful when he comes up with tips like that. Because I'd forgotten about some of the episodes myself as usual but the one he mentioned about marco sullivan and miles chapman i remember when you were doing that i remember at the time listening to that and really enjoying that episode so yeah it's fantastic the must-go meal has become a commonly used phrase

in my house and in my parents house for sure it's like that bit where you haven't done the shopping and you're just like looking in the fridge and you spot a bit of meat and maybe some like potatoes and you're like what can i put with this some freezer veg and that is your must-go meal yeah it happens more often than not yeah it's very useful definitely go back and listen to that if you haven't heard that before you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from lips and ads choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with lips and ads go to lips and ads.com now that's l-B-S-Y-N-Ads.com. is an area of the Philippines. It's a city in the Philippines. So maybe he's from there.

Okay. Oh, no, hang on. Wait, it does actually say Mark. It says Mark in the email address. So he's put it as the Cebu guy, but Mark. So I don't know what he prefers. We can go with the Cebu guy. Okay.

He says, Hi, guys. Really enjoy the show and want to put forth my choice for the worst song to be stuck listening to on a desert island. I know this song choice won't be popular as it's a much beloved song but bohemian rhapsody by queen would be my nightmare oh what are your thoughts on bohemian actually quickly james um i just when i think of it i only i only feel happiness because i just think of that scene out of wayne's world yeah that's true yeah i quite like it but i think um regardless i think this is a superbly put takedown of this song give me so

he says i'll ignore the fact it appears queen couldn't decide on a musical style for the song and so just threw all their musical ideas together and came up with a mishmash of sounds instead let me focus on some of the worst and most annoying lyrics ever. In the second verse, the murderer, Freddie Mercury, is singing about having killed a man and not meaning to make his mumma cry. I understand him not wanting the emotional pain to affect his mum, but where's the sympathy for the guy who he just shot in the head for no apparent reason? Then he wallows in self-pity and moans about body aches and facing the truth but still no remorse is shown towards the dead guy and when i see i always thought it was the mother that

killed the man so mama just killed a man but he's made would make more sense that he would make yes he did it yeah this is the problem with you know mostly a drunk singing at a wedding so i don't really analyze the lyrics that's true but he has so let's carry on so he says and where do you go from there a 17th century italian clown a scaramouche doing an 18th century fandango which is spanish slash portuguese in origin obviously then thunderbolts and lightning are very origin obviously then thunderbolts and lightning are very very frightening well thunderbolts and lightning are the same damn thing and i don't know many people who are very very frightened by it and that's true i've noticed that as well like

you don't get a thunderbolt you get a lightning bolt yes so that's i just never questioned it yeah it's a thunderclap yeah exactly it's really weird isn't it he goes on oh and now let's shout out galileo a 16th century scientist multiple times for no apparent reason and let's add a late 18th century figaro also magnifico it is not then we go back to self-pity and how he's a poor boy nobody loves well if you don't go around shooting people in the head maybe people will love you more throughout the song nothing really matters according to the singer but he really seems to want to be let go and get away from his torment as he spends the whole of the sixth verse singing about it so that does seem to actually matter a lot to him should we be surprised though as he's already a murderer so why not a liar also

they just goes and he goes on to say ah just hate this song with a passion and would never want it to be the only song i'm able to play on a desert island guys it's the john holmes of dicks the biggest dick of all songs and appreciate the opportunity to get that off my chest keep up the great work on the pod and look forward to hearing the next episode. As always, cheers. Wow, that is strong. Because I could sit here, before this started, I said to you, if I was going to choose one for this week,

it would be Toto Africa. But I would in no way be as eloquent as that in my takedown. That has got to have affected you deep to your core when it's just so beautifully put together and researched it's i mean it doesn't matter my feelings towards the song when i'm in front of the elegance of an email like that you know you can say whatever you want about anyone if you take them down like that it's perfect just perfect thank you so much for that and you know if you're listening and you want to have like that, it's perfect. Just perfect. Thank you so much for that. And, you know, if you're listening and you want to have a stab at it,

then you can by all means. You know, you can get in touch, as James said earlier, dixpod.com slash contact and fill out the form there. Or you can just DM us, send us a direct message on Twitter or Instagram at DixPod. It really is that simple. Wow. I think that might be it. First, I'm just going to say that we'll be

back very soon with a full episode of Desert Island Dicks. We might even put out a little bonus content next week. If we can think of some loose theme to roughly hang it on. Or even not. Let's just put one out. Even not. might just do a

top of the cocks or something why not yeah that's it then bye bye Bye.