Desert Island Dicks - DUTCH UNCLES

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

The band Dutch Uncles join Dan to share who and what they'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island! Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Hi, I'm Dan from Desert Island Dicks, and this episode features Duncan and Robin from the band Dutch Uncles. And we had a lovely chat about the people and things

they'd least like to be stuck with on a desert island as is the general remit of this podcast now i recorded this a little while ago and i feel bad because they're currently on tour and i probably should have got it out a little bit earlier but they've still got dates this month in april so you can go and see them and then they've also got dates in july and october across the uk their new album true entertainment is out now so uh go and check that out and um go and see them and in the meantime you can listen to this episode which features them and doesn't feature their music but you know you get a sense of the lads and they're very nice indeed so um yeah enjoy this check out their album

and then go and see them. It's that simple. I'm going to keep this short and sweet today because my voice is going a little bit because I have some kind of voice illness or rather just some kind of sore throat. I suppose there's a more normal way of saying it. So let's just pretend I've already said the usual sort of things about liking and subscribing and leaving us a rating and all that kind of stuff. And let's just get into the podcast. It's Dutch Uncles on Desert Island Dicks.

Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is Duncan Wallace and Robin Richards from the band Dutch Uncles. How are you doing? Good, thank you. Very well, thank you. A little while we had to cue ourselves on that. No, just waiting for the ticket. We're all good here. Very polite of you both. Given your politeness in waiting for the other one to speak,

does that mean that you're fairly mild-mannered or do you like a bit of a rant? Do you get angry at stuff? I think we definitely do. We like a good bitch. Yeah, we took that to a new dimension within the band ourselves. A few years back we started up a podcast as well which I think has really helped channel a lot of the... Helped us air some of our grievances.

Yeah, a lot of the rancid feelings not necessarily about the industry but I suppose about the way that the industry shapes your life in a sense as an artist as well as looking at some of the aspects of the industry that do seem quite

problematic on the surface or the realities of it all so it's informative and therapeutic I think yeah it has been at least good good I mean I don't think this podcast is informative but hopefully it can be therapeutic so you know at least that's one tick all all data is info baby nice one so there's obviously there's two of you doing this so um how did you find the process of choosing a group of dicks between the two of you? Do you sort of agree on most things? Do you find it that easy?

Well, I think we've decided to see if we can roll out a shared candidate for this particular list. I'm not actually aware of the singular person that Rob may have picked. In the process of who I've picked, and I've kind of got two options, really, and I'm probably going to end up voicing about both of them. Yeah, I found it quite a tough assessment, really, because it feels like it comes from a generally sort of mean-spirited place at first. Of course, the first answer should always be a clone of oneself you know just to kind of completely sort of write off any you know uh extra mean feeling about who we do actually

pick as candidates um but it was a strange one really and when you think about the process of well you know being on an island the time involved what would happen to your own psyche within that and the psyche of the other person it makes you like person. So I've got two options which kind of do go in very different ways about it, but they're both sort of I couldn't stand to be on an island with that person at the same time. Okay, well, we've got a trio of dicks waiting to be chosen and talked about. So who's going to be the first person joining you on the island? Well, I might as well go first, considering my spiel just there.

So as I said before, two ways of going about it. And I hate to get too, you know, sort of political about it, but there's a political option and there's an artistic option. I know which one of the two I am going to pick. So I was going to pick Joe Swinson, the ex-leader of the Lib Dems. Don't ask me why. It was just the first person that came to mind. I thought, who could I not stand to be on an island with? And I realized the reason why I picked that is because if you're on an island with someone, you're going to come round to

understanding their own humanity and their own way of thinking and all of that, as such as they would understand mine. And I don't think I ever want to get round to understanding how someone thinks they could win 300 seats in a single general election. So the option I will go for instead, the more positive one I'll go for, can they be dead? Yeah. Like alive, dead? Yeah, it could be anyone.

I was reading a thread about him recently, and I found it quite fascinating. And it's someone who I admire a lot, Marlon Brando. Okay, Marlon Brando. Okay, Marlon Brando. Yeah, you know, very enigmatic, incredibly talented figure, of course. And I think the thing about that is it kind of comes down to that age-old, you know, phrase of never meet your heroes, never kind of understand what makes them tick, because the second you know what makes them tick, it will probably ruin the illusion of what made anything tick in the first place.

I'm trying to think what else. Oh, yeah, that and also not to make light of his food addiction, but that would become a very annoying thing, constantly having to find sustenance and such and such. That would probably cloud up a lot of the dialogue there of what we're going to eat, what's going to happen next. And then you'd start to, as I say, last thing you want to do is meet your heroes especially when they're just trying to find food yeah and you'd get into a sort of has anyone fed marlon yet today you know yes

that's a scenario so yes that feels like the nicer option he's been scratching at the shelter again like someone go and feed brando come on give him some fish yeah i don't know what the dynamic would be because i don't know a lot about him but i mean you know we're so used to kind of knowing everything about film stars today and what they'd be like and obviously i mean in one sense people today are sort of you know more scrutinized and we know more about them and they're kind of more famous in a way so they might be more used to kind of having help and hangers-on and an entourage and be more of a pain in the arse i don't know what it was like in marlon brando's time but then he obviously was like one of the biggest actors of the time so maybe he was kind of even more lofty and annoying to hang out with or you know if he

was going really sort of into a role could probably get quite quite tricky to be with day to day yeah i suppose he's got quite an interesting, uh, I don't know if the freight, I don't think duality is the right word for this, but he does have this from what you, you know, from what we've perceived,

you know, in history, like in society, he was very principled, very, you know, kind of like, for example,

when, um, he didn't accept the, the Oscar for the Godfather. Um, and I've forgotten her name, but the native American lady accepted it for him to talk about how, you know, her people were basically being marginalized for the sake of the film industry. And he always kind of held very principled stances, I think, within like talk shows.

But then on the other side of that, when you hear about the stories of what he was like on a film set and, you know, his demands and he was just basically impossible to work with yeah it does just create quite a bizarre juxtaposition about it was he a method actor yes uh was it well he went to i've forgotten the name of it but he went to the acting school that was run by the actor who plays uh hyman ross in godfather 2 there's going to be a Godfather theme throughout this episode, actually, I should say. So we've gone Godfather 1 and we've done Godfather 2. But yeah, he went to the same acting school,

which I think was the school that encouraged method acting. I feel like that would be pretty intense on an island, wouldn't it? Say if he was just stuck in our character the whole time as well. I don't know which one I'd pick. Maybe his character in On the Waterfront. I like that film. Yeah, I just think living with a method actor would be an absolute pain in the arse.

You know, when you just think... Like, you hear about... Was it Daniel Day-Lewis when he was being Lincoln and he was in a wheelchair and, like, wouldn't get out of the wheelchair and there's, like, cables all over the film set? Yeah, I think that was when he played Christy Brown in My Left Foot.

Oh, yeah. That would make a lot more sense yeah the film crew yeah famously the film crew had to carry his wheelchair

over like the lighting and all that set stuff because he refused if we're going to be that method can you see this fucking film equipment

everywhere it doesn't work like the make believe has to end at some point Daniel come on now like and I just think it's like look look, you're a really talented actor,

but you are an actor, so just pretend to be the person, you know, like just get out the fucking wheelchair, man. Come on. Well, I've not seen it yet, and I don't know how true this is, but I hear apparently that Austin Butler, who played Elvis, who is basically his voice has changed forever like he's had a like a like a stroke from doing method acting because he like he basically played Elvis he became Elvis yeah he became Elvis for a year yeah two years and now he can't get out of

being Elvis he said it's it kind of ruined his life for quite a long time yeah but you hear you hear there's like sort of the change in his voice it's kind of it's kind of mad yeah so I mean it's hard to know it's hard to know where method acting is kind of going these days because i as you say as well it's like you know in today's society you know private lives are more transparent you know what we can see into people's private lives all the more now every actor's got a social media team with them and all that so i'd i'd be interested to see where where that's going especially in the whole marvel cinematic universe trend i mean method acting in that i mean basically method acting is going to the gym now i think at this point yeah i think that's what i find so depressing

about filmmaking the you know even though there is a there's a plethora of good filmmaking happening but the but the stuff that's taking up the spotlight is basically the gym you know it's the gym grind set kind of vibe it's everyone's buff yeah it's very dispirited yeah said the uh said the flabby boys yeah well i like the thing at the minute though about like you know all these actors having to get massive for roles and like at some point there's going to be such a massive steroids conversation which is kind of at the minute like not being had and it's like yeah wow isn't it amazing how he suddenly became so big so quickly like how could that have happened how did he do that yeah and then you get like a an article in a men's magazine it's like you know follow their personal trainers advice and you're like yeah i'm not going to follow all of the advice because yeah like mark yeah i was going

to say mark Wahlberg's diary where he goes to bed at... He goes to bed at like three in the morning but wakes up at six and then plays golf. Yeah, he plays like two games of golf before breakfast and a gym session in between all that. It's basically like these... I mean, Boogie Nights is a great film

but I'm really not sure where else it's... Yeah, how sustainable that life is. I mean, Christian Bale, when he experimented with weight loss and gain, I think there were interesting roles for him to do that with. And, of course, within Batman, you never really saw him. I mean, you do eventually, but it's kind of understated just how his physique is there because at the same time you're just thinking how the hell did he go from being that thin and the

machinist yeah of course yeah to that because he was eating like a tin of tuna and an apple a day that was all he'd have to become the machinist like scary scary stuff yeah i just think that kind of mindset where whereas it might be impressive on the screen I think to live with these people would be an absolute nightmare just someone who's like that focus and that's serious about it I just don't think they're going to be very fun so you know I'm happy to go and watch him be Batman but I don't want to live with the Batman you know and um and I think you know yeah going back to Marlon Brando I just think that sort of ethos and like that serious craft, just like at first,

you're going to be like really overawed about it. But you know, when there's a daily grind of living on a desert island, you know, it comes to the fore, you're going to be like, I don't care about your method anymore. Just catch a fucking fish.

Come on. Yeah, you'd just be going, you know all this method acting, can you remember where you were of Apocalypse Now? Because it would really help. Yeah cool okay so we've got marlon brando on the island who's going to be joining him who's the second choice um well my choice was a bit more a bit more lowbrow really uh i don't know if you've if you've heard of uh the family like the lee bit spelt like the town near Wigan, Lee.

Ah, it rings a bell. They're like a dancing group. A dad and his two sons. They're just like a TikTok family. I don't even use TikTok, but they seem to appear on any other feed that I'm on, and they just ruin my day as soon as I see them. And the music they use.

They do seem to be on a crusade to destroy Patrice Rush's Forget Me Nuts. Yes. And you'd think that song was untouchable, but no, it will be. It will be forever associated with them. It will be cancelled if they keep going on. Them and their sort of like, yeah,

extreme kind of earnest faces. It's just like, there's just something about them that really, really gets me. Really gets you going. Yeah. And then, yeah, like, I don't something about them that really, really gets me. Really gets you going. Yeah. And yeah, like, I don't know if you've seen the videos, they film themselves like dancing on their driveway in the cul-de-sac just outside the house. And it's just like, can you imagine living next door to these people? You know, setting up their big like selfie camera and just dancing nonstop.

And it's just like, guys, just give it a rest. You know, they appear to me like the kind of people who never watch the news, who would just be like, oh, I just don't see the point. It's just all miserable, isn't it? Yeah, comforting the complaining about it. Yeah, exactly. So, you know, we're just having a nice time.

We're just having a lovely time. And what's wrong with that? So I feel like if you were stuck on an island with them, we're just having a nice time we're just having a lovely time and what's wrong with that so and i feel like if you were stuck on an island with them it could potentially just be like that all the time definitely and like you know you see these things and you think like you say what would it be like being their neighbor but it would be all right if they just came out and did it all in one take but it's not happening in one take is it it's like half a day's worth of like them getting angry at each other it's like right now fucking do it properly this time okay smile they're probably they're

probably method actors yeah there's something so i maybe it's because you know we're british but it's just so sort of jarring that kind of like happy family kind of instagram lifestyle when it's like it really is like my my oldest is uh five and sometimes on youtube he ends up watching there's like all these american families that have just turned their whole family into youtubers and so it'll be like they always have a massive house but with not much in it and like five kids and they've recruited all of them and there's like a theme and a story and it's like, and they're just unbearable. You just sort of watch them. Yeah, it's like...

You think, who the fuck are these people? It's like the Von Trapps. Yeah. It just feels so unbelievable and so irritating. And also at the end of it, it's like, you're just sort of like milking your kids for money, basically, you know?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's like Lad Baby. Oh, yeah. You know, the same sort of thing. It's just like... Well, I mean, there are so many more shades of sinister going on, I think, within that project.

But, you know, there's no point saying it until you can prove it. It's definitely like the Britishness in us that's very cynical about this kind of overly happy family just having a nice time all the time it's just like let's give it a rest yeah an aggressive dynastic sort of push it's what we allowed for 10 years of uh basically talent show tv that basically put us in like you know it started off a big brother basically giving us the power to vote someone off and all of a sudden we think we can do these things like everyone thinks they can do these things and eventually everyone will get a go because it just keeps on going and then of course

it happens now within the phone sorry I'm going very very next no no no it's absolutely right yeah I just yeah it's just such a like if it was a family on TikTok that were kind of like clearly funny or amusing or kind of a bit dry i wouldn't mind but it's just like the sort of like squeaky clean nature of all these sort of things it's so sort of like yeah and you'd be stuck at a barbecue with them or like being on the island with them is the same kind of deal it's like hey guys tonight why don't we do a talent show okay we'll go first oh god yeah yeah yeah i think they'd be unbearable to live with and like you just sort of wonder what's going on when they're not filming you know and they were

definitely bullies before that's the thing is it's the great it's the great rebrand redemption of social media it just allows people who were awful at school to all of a sudden completely transform themselves but that's not saying anyone again don't want to get sued well i don't know i think it's fair to assume that being stuck with an instagram slash tiktok uh dancing family on the island would be unbearable yeah i kind of hope that them and marlon brando would just sort of cancel each other out i think yeah yeah potentially i was just thinking about the dynamic between them. It's like, hey, Marlon, we're performers too.

You're not performers. You're grocery store clerks. Okay, well, we've got one more space for a person on the island. So who's going to be joining this group of people? What do you think? Well, you know, I mean, not that we've deliberated too much on what selection will be both throw in there but i think it's a i think i think said in the right way it's going to be okay okay yeah but i'll let you begin it because i think it might i feel like i'll definitely put my foot in it within the first sentence.

I don't know what to say. We've picked a band member. Okay, great. We spend enough time with him anyway. Yes, and we love him dearly. But you might be spending a bit less time with him after this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not at all, not at all, not at all. And I think he'd be the first to admit that he has is it high energy?

an enthusiasm I think it comes from playing football four times a week he's just constantly got the blood going those endorphins are just sort of circulating around and he's just like and I've got to say despite the fact we're going to include him on this it does have many positives

I do find myself saying in in times where i feel very self-conscious about a task i have to do my work or whatever like that if i'm ever feeling like i can't live up to the performance required i say to myself think pete how would pete take this take this task on and every time absolutely fly through it because I think ever since we labeled in Panto Pete on tour once yeah um we we have a song in our set called Flexin where Pete the by the way the nomination is Pete from the band obvious at this point uh we have a song called Flexin in our set where Pete plays our our mallet cat it's like an electronic marimba.

And he gets a lot of time off to, you know, sort of clap along with the crowd. And, like, as we were doing the tour on Big Balloon, each gig it would just get more and more raucous. More and more theatrical. More and more theatrical, where eventually he was, like, crowd surfing and stuff like that going on. Do you remember that gig in, we did a gig in Cardiff a few years ago and there was hardly anybody there.

Oh, God, yeah. It was like an old cinema, wasn't it? Yeah. So there was like this, this kind of spiraling staircase in the back of the room. Yeah. And then like during this clap along,

Pete left the stage, ran up the stairs and then slid down this staircase, like on the banister. It's like, yeah, he went, he did the full Keith Chegwin. I think he ran all the way to the box office and ran into every room,

like clapping along, like, come on everybody, like you in the refreshments. Yeah, and then sliding down. So yeah, so we created this monster when we gave it a name of Panto Pete and I think he's basically held onto that energy and carried it on going. Yeah. And it's been, well, it's been essential, I think, certainly for writing and the positive vibes only within kind of coming back because maybe you know as you can

tell from my own disposition it's very i find it very easy to uh write us off or to think oh there's no point no come on no one cares no one cares but pete does really drag us drag me out of those depths but as i say on an island when there is no hope that would be unbearable might be but you know he's a very good cook so that would be something but whether there'd be any food on this island oh it's actually

yes it's only the food that we hate yes so maybe that's true being consistent with this energy I could see him actually

sort of helping the family kind of take their take their art to the next level so I was like what are you doing it's the worst thing don't encourage them yeah don't encourage them positive vibes out yeah what

you've joined the family like what's going on yeah yeah yeah but guys if you take time to get to know them you know yeah yeah yeah i think it's interesting isn't it people like this i think obviously as you say like he's got a brilliant, useful energy. But, yeah, he sounds like he's always on. And I suppose, especially in a bleak atmosphere like you're creating on the island, that could be too much. And also, I suppose, you've got investment in him, so if anything happens to him. I think, you know, with the island, I often say how if you've got anyone who's in any way a dependent, whether it's older than you, younger than you a friend someone you love that creates problems because you know

you're invested in keeping another person alive when you know with this family yeah not so much you know like just see what happens like don't pay too much attention to it so i think that that alone makes it quite difficult but yeah i mean good good if you can send him off to do a task. But if he's kind of using his time making maracas out of coconut shells, that's probably a bit too much. I think the first task he would do is probably outline a Power League pitch on the beach. And make sure there's room for Wembley doubles, if nothing else.

Which is fine at first but um yeah as long as we can have a wilson with us yes yes yeah yeah well i think that sounds fair enough like we all have friends that like that remind us of that sort of energy and yeah sometimes things need to be contained so i think it's fine and um i think you've been fairly diplomatic in your choosing of a band member so I don't you know hopefully this won't ruin your entire working relationship so I think it's fine no hopefully not okay well I think you've got an interesting group of characters on the island to start the turmoil you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lips and Ads.

Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lips and Ads. Go to lipsandads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N-ads.com. But we're going to move on now because mercifully amongst the wreckage of the plane there was some food and drink left over

unfortunately for you unfortunately for you it's your least favourite food and drink in the world what are they and why are they so bad so do you go food and I go drink should we do that yeah mine's going to be goat's cheese goat's cheese okay

is that an allergy though no it's not I just I just really don't like it and it's one of those things I think it was I only discovered that I didn't like it a few years ago

when I was on holiday in Malta and there was a lot of goat's cheese going around but it was like disguised as different things it's like ooh is this some pate oh no it's goat's cheese again oh no it's got me it's got me and it's just like um it's a real kind of lingering taste i find that like um especially if you've eaten it accidentally it sort of stays in your nose and it tastes so much like the smell of actual goats

yes it does doesn't it it's so weird i was i was in a place in a load like i was in this place in devon and there were just all these goats wandering around and as they walked past i was like what's that it's goat's cheese fuck it's just like exuding from you like through your goatee paws it's just exactly yeah it's mad sweat yeah it's weird isn't it it's like i don't that's that's not i mean like cows don't smell of milk do they i mean i guess they just smell of shit most of the time but i don't know yeah but i suppose you know but maybe the goats maybe that smell is shit as well i don't know it's just like yeah i'm i'm i'm not not a fuss eater at all but it's like that i just can't i understand what

you mean though when food is kind of secretly put in there and you're mentally not prepared for it. Yeah. Because that can have a lasting effect. I had it with, because my entry was going to be ginger because I remember having like a chocolate, a ginger chocolate sort of fancy chocolate from my parents' chocolate box as a kid,

thinking, ooh, chocolate, that's delicious. Biting into it, it's just got some root ginger sticking in. And when you're like six, that freaks you the fuck out. And it's still even today i mean i'll have ginger in a curry of course and all that kind of stuff but yeah i still look at it and go you fooled me once you fooled me once fool me twice can't be fooled again yeah i mean i don't i don't have a problem with goat's cheese but i can i can understand why people don't like it. And I think it's quite telling that, you know,

it hasn't eclipsed normal cheese. You know, there's a reason it's still on the fringes after all these years, you know. Yeah. You know, let's not pretend it's the best cheese here, you know. Wait, which one's halloumi then? Halloumi is... I think halloumi is a mixture of goat and sheep.

Right. Because I don't... Yeah, I'm not having you sleep, halloumi. Oh mixture of goat and sheep right because I don't I'm not having you sleep I love halloumi I love feta which I think is sheep's cheese right okay so it's goat yeah there's definitely a pub quiz round in this I need to figure it out

I write pub quizzes by the way okay it's weird so that same place where i was at where the goats were and i realized the smell there was an ice cream van that sold goats cheese sorry goats milk ice creams and it was like the same thing it's like yeah this isn't going to catch on lads like we i mean you're here and we've all bought an ice cream for the novelty but like there's a tang here that i i don't really want when I'm eating ice cream. It's like, we know what ice cream should taste like.

I don't think we're ready for this remix. No. Yeah, so, yeah. I think it would just annoy you that you didn't have real cheese there. Yes. Plus it's from a plane, so it's going to be really shit ghost cheese as well. Oh, true, yeah. Well, yeah, considering that this is's from a plane, so it's going to be really shit ghost cheese as well. Oh, true, yeah. Well, yeah, considering that this is food from a plane,

I'm not quite sure how my drink fits into it. We can be fairly elastic with the rules. It's okay. Okay, fair enough. It was a private jet. Yeah, okay, private jet. Yeah, I can understand that. So the drink I've picked is quite a modern phenomenon here.

I've gone for CBD pops, like kind of fruity CBD pops. The other reason being, because I like the idea of them in principle and all that lot, but they kind of have this, at this age now, I kind of take pride in the fact that I can swallow anything. You know? Take that I can swallow anything. You know? Take that out of your world. But, you know, like kind of food and drink, like, you know what I mean? I mean, I've gone from watching Come Dive With Me

and when someone says they don't like potatoes, I've gone from hating that moment to going, ah, you game-playing, you know, son of a... Like, you understand what's going on because everyone must be able to eat you know anything in at a certain point at a certain age but it's just when certain kind of flavors have these kind of waves on your tongue you know i mean like like like a taste wave as it were and i think it's the way that when when i drink it when i've tried it recently it's really kind

of thrown me off it's really kind of you know put me off kilter uh and for that reason it's kind of made me feel like i've still got much more to learn on the journey of getting a perfect palette so yeah that's why i'm just picking it it's just i'd probably come to love it after about two days on the island you know you find a way of getting used to it but yeah i'm picking that one because it's um yeah not so good not so good i think it's in the same sort of ballpark for me is like um oh what's it called the the one that's like a fermented thing kombucha kombucha yeah these things they're not like disgusting but they're not that nice and they're kind of a bit too expensive for a can of pop you know what i mean it's like why is this pricey yeah why does

this cost two pounds fifty that was oh it's got a thing in it oh i didn't realize you know and it's oh but it's really good for you yeah that thing isn't as good as coca-cola yeah yeah it's like but i just want a nice drink now like i could just take supplements if i wanted all of that you know yeah quite an expensive drink i've just bought in this like museum that i'm in like why is it even i know it's like oh but it's supposed to be really good for this. It's like, I don't think there's enough of that in this can that's going to really change my life. It's like,

oh, but my digestion is so much better now. So is it, you know. And I kind of feel like after kombucha, I want to, I want it to feel, I want to feel instantly better.

Do you know what I mean? It's like, well, okay, I've endured that. It's just like, right, now I should feel great.

Yeah. Yeah. But I don't know know maybe there will be a drink like that yeah exactly but i i sort of i don't want to sound too reductive but i kind of feel like if something isn't going to be delicious straight away it's got to have another benefit quite quickly like if it's getting me drunk or something you know then like okay i'll i'll drink this thing that's yeah it's quite strong i don. I don't know, but hey, I'm getting drunk. Or like, oh, these mushrooms are disgusting, but whoa, wow, I'm seeing amazing things now.

But yeah, a kombucha or like, yeah, the CBD drinks. It's like, it's just a really expensive, bad drink that's not really making much difference to my life. So like, yeah, have a Fanta or something, you know? And then, yeah, and I think that's the thing. If you're on a desert island and you're just cracking open these drinks, I don't know what the point of any of this is.

This could be anything else. And then six hours later, stoned out your mind. But you don't know it's happened. You just kind of fall back into the floor. But with CBD, isn't that like the one that doesn't get you stoned? You just sort of... It sort of relaxes you. It just relaxes you.

It's just very relaxing for £2.50 yeah well maybe you could feed a lot of it to your band mate and it might sort of have a calming effect all the family just all of them silence them all drink your drink come on just give Marlon all the goat's cheese

fair enough okay well good choices there for the food Drink your drink. Come on. Yeah. Just give Marlon all the goat's cheese. Fair enough. Okay. Well, good choices there for the food. I think it's going to be very unpleasant. Now, fortunately, you won't be without entertainment on the island. The plane's entertainment system continues to work, but just your luck, it only has two working settings. One is your least favourite film of all time,

and the other is your least favourite song. What are they and why? Okay. I film go for it yeah uh the godfather part three just to bring it full circle um it's yeah i think just i don't really have to explain it too far i don't think because i think most people either have never seen it or they've never finished it uh in i've only really got to the end of it because it was came in the box set of watching it and it did feel you know come on you loved one and two so much you owe it to them to finish three and it does have its moments but it's it's a complete husk of an ending, frankly. There's no satisfaction to it. I think the only satisfaction I could get from it is watching it with Marlon Brando

because he would just absolutely slate the tits off it. So yeah, that would actually be an enjoyable sort of coming about on the island, so to speak. But we'd still only ever watch it once because it cannot be watched a second time. Yeah, and also he could just get into a really bad mood about it and then you've got a really angry actor on your hands it's kind of difficult to manage um yeah yeah i don't know it's i was just trying to think how many good third films there are i suppose rocky three is a good one because

you've got you know mr t playing clubber lang so i think that's acceptable um i'm so like my world view is so small at the minute because i work from home and i've got two small kids so i was like i was going through all the films in my head apart from rocky were like uh like pixar films and stuff because they often track the third well because that yeah because they all have lots of versions because they're like, quick, just keep milking it. Yeah, of course. But yeah, generally when you get to a third, especially if it's followed such a great one like The Godfather 2, it's going to be, you're always on shaky ground. So I think it's good. Well, I was going to say, it's a strange one.

I think Godfather 1 and 2, they're kind of just like one long film in a sense. Like, you know, the idea of a sequel having to kind of change up ideas or you know when we think about great sequels empire strikes back is another one that you know lands on everyone's tongue but that's gen that's generally a different story to number four isn't it whereas i suppose godfather 2 is just continuing it's just finishing off what one began in a sense and then three it's quite a bit of a gap isn't there as well yeah yeah there's a big gap yeah because three pacino's an old guy and it's basically just it's just answering the what-ifs that people had i think about about the legacy of it all and sometimes you don't need to know no no you don't you don't need to know um and yeah i don't want to spoil it in case anyone

is ever going to watch it but the ending is very disappointing so you know yeah I sometimes think with films where like it's sort of counterintuitive but maybe if something has been so popular that's the sign that you shouldn't make another one because it's like like with Terminator 2 it's like okay like in the rare instance where the second film is often regarded as better than

the first which I think is generally the case with The Godfather it's like okay if you've managed that act of like the sequel even surpassing the first one just leave it there because it's you're not going to get you're not going to pull that trick off a third time of it being even better so it's like god this was so successful let's just not touch it now but obviously that's really not how the film industry works you know it's like more more another one godfather 17 come on you know like all the terminator films afterwards you just have to sort of ignore any like they're

all shit after the after the second one well i think i mean i haven't watched it in a very long time so i could be very wrong about this but when i think about great sequels, as we're saying, in a rare exception to the rule where actually the third installment was also quite good, but maybe not better than the second, but perhaps on par. I'm thinking maybe Back to the Future, but I can't remember how good Back to the Future Part 3 is. I think it was just very interesting that they went to the 1880s to do all the Wild West stuff but it probably is

very very dull I think it's yeah it was like it was like really high budget wasn't it it might have been kind of style over

substance yeah because I mean because people would argue that Back to the Future Part 2 is better than 1

I feel like that would be yeah I feel like just because the iconography they use you know like the hoverboard stuff

the trainers it's just like oh wow commerce you know like basically yeah so and stuff, the trainers, it's just like, oh, wow, commerce. You know, like, basically, yeah. So, and I think that's where my head's at when I'm thinking that three might have been on a par with two,

just because I'm thinking like, oh yeah, it was like, it was bright and it was jimpy and it was bad. Oh, I'll tell you what, a great third element, sorry, a great third entry to a film series that is, for my money, better than the sequel,

Die Hard. Die Hard with a Vengeance. Interesting. Okay. better than the sequel die hard die hard with a vengeance interesting okay we actually the sequel yeah i think the sequel was wasn't great i feel like sometimes no you're right actually two's worse than one yeah but i think sometimes you do get that leapfrog thing it's like good first one bad sequel can we bring it back yeah third one's better and then it's all right like and and yeah i see that with a lot of pixar films oh god my worldview i've really got to expand my worldview it's getting desperately small you could say that yeah you could even say about toy story really but that's it's a very high bar so to say that toy story 2 is the worst one isn't to say it's a bad film by any stretch but toy story 3 is pretty special isn't it oh yeah well you bad film by any stretch. But Toy Story 3 is pretty special, isn't it?

Oh, yeah. Well, you know, absolutely balling in the cinema. And then when 4 comes around, you're waiting to be told to cry. And you're thinking, you're not going to get me. You're not going to get me. And then it kind of gets you.

But it doesn't hit in the same way that 3 does. Because when 3 has that moment with the trash compactor. Oh, yeah. My God. It was dark. Goosebumps. Yeah, definitely. Okay, well, My God. It was dark. Goosebumps. Yeah. Definitely.

Okay, well, we're going to put The Godfather 3 on the island with you and Marlon Brando and the others. Cheers. What's your song choice going to be? It's interesting, you know, speaking to you guys in a band, I'm interested to see what your song choice will be. Yeah, well, it's, again, fairly lowbrow in that sense. I've got a three-year-old daughter,

and she somehow discovered this artist called Parry Grip. I don't know if you've come across his music. No, I haven't. As a dad of some kids as well. It's just like, it's basically novelty American music, and he writes loads of little short songs, and there's hundreds of them over on Spotify. And it's really a case of quantity over quality.

And basically, you know, the formula is, is like a food, an animal and a thing. And he'll just sing about that for two minutes. And my daughter loves it. And she knows how to work Alexa and it's just sort of slowly killing me to have to listen to Toaster Strudel Kangaroo every day it's really really bad so

don't encourage your kids to listen to Parry Grip and if they do discover it, if there's a way you can block songs on Spotify it's really really awful and this guy must be worth millions as well because you know the amount of streams he gets and i think he won a grammy as well it's just oh no don't encourage them yeah when they latch on to something that

you hate because it's it's such a great feeling when like they they're into cool music you know but the great thing about kids is like they have no sense of sort of cool you know like they they're into cool music you know but the great thing about kids is like they have no sense of sort of cool you know like they'll like an awful song that they found on youtube as much as they'll like the beatles you know and it's like it's lovely that they're all equal in your world but it's also quite frustrating like you know i was so proud of my oldest recently we were at a party and he was like he goes oh yeah the ramones i was like yes did you hear that everyone he likes the remote no anyone i'll tell you later anyway good boy you know and then but then yeah at my wife's uh 40th last year we were like do you want to play some tunes you want to

like dj and he's like yeah he goes i'm going to play uh that bjork song i like and a yellow submarine and um the ramones i was I was like, perfect, great. And then he goes, I think I might swap one for Crazy Frog. And I was like, no. Yeah, the thing about Crazy Frog, he's just on YouTube. Like, I don't have it on my computer. Like, it's just on telly, and I had to just lie to his face. And like, you know, you're like, I don't want, you know,

like being an artist or a DJ or a musician, it's like, you know, you've got to follow your own path and be brave and go out there, but not fucking Crazy Frog. Yeah. No, no, Crazy Frog is definitely in the same gene pool as Parry Grip as well. It's that kind of, oh, yeah, it's that kind of music. In defence of Crazy Frog, not that I've ever DJed at all,

but I can imagine it does actually find its place after 2am somewhere somewhere somewhere in the world it finds its slot yeah but i've never played it no you're right like my yeah my daughter like she has got interested like into interesting music basically because we have if we're not listening to parry grip we've got six music on and she'll latch on to something so she went through a real phase of loving the band sons of kennett which is like um like afro jazz crazy kind of saxophone solos she's like really into that for a while um and then she went through a phase of really liking my dad's band and he's like in a um a baltic folk uh yeah well sea shanty

it was sea shanty music before sea shanty was a thing exactly before the tiktok sea shanty yeah yeah yeah so yeah so it's like when we were like

sitting down for dinner my wife would say like oh should we put on daddy's band she'd go no granddad's band it's like okay that's fine

alright they had a song they still have a song I assume of if you want to be a pirate you have to have a beard and it does it does bop it does bop or slap yeah bop or slap it goes off yeah yeah yeah you don't have to wait till 2am for that i mean that does sound like something that yeah everyone's gonna enjoy i think that's fair enough but uh yeah i i mean i'm curious to

to know what um what's he called parry grip It's a weird name as well, isn't it? For like a kid's musician. It is. Sounds like he was a rapper at some point. And then just, that would be a better name for like a mumble rap kind of guy, wouldn't it? It would. Maybe that was just what happened. It was like, shit, hang on.

I can churn out 30 songs a day like this. This is... Exactly. Yeah. It's so annoying. So many things these days when you find something really irritating you also know that they're loaded a lot of the time it's really annoying like you know like god you're racking up so many fucking views with this

bollocks you know and you couldn't even emulate it if you tried you're like maybe i'll just do this and you just know you couldn't because it this much talent okay well that's that that's the entertainment sorted then well boys finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why um i went on holiday to thailand a few years ago and um encountered quite a few monitor lizards um and it's i don't think they're particularly kind of violent animals but like every time i like they just like just hang around in the towns um and basically at the corner of your eye you think it's a cat and then you're like fuck you now it's a dragon it's like it's like like quite a large lizard yeah yeah um apparently they're poisonous so that's you know an extra kind of thing to add in there but i don't like quite a large lizard. That's amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Apparently they're poisonous. So that's, you know, an extra kind of thing to add in there. But I don't think they really attack humans, but maybe they would. Maybe they get bored, you know, on this little island with us seven weirdos, you know. It's seven, isn't it? All eating goat's cheese. Yeah.

And yeah, yeah so you know like just freaks me out a bit and like every time we'd think we you know were free and you know

me and my wife are probably quite nervous travellers we've kind of come to realise that there was another point whilst we were in Thailand where we got chased by some dogs

that was quite scary you never told me about that got chased got chased into a 7-Eleven by some dogs and it's like at least they weren't monotelizards but I suppose monotelizards wouldn't be able to run that fast so

yeah so it'd be those guys I reckon I think there's something about animals that I don't mind on their own suddenly becoming more freaky when there's a lot of them you know what I mean and I think liz lizards I've always think they're quite interesting nice animals but when there's the idea of like in Amsterdam there's this little park that we stayed near and it was just like not even a park just a little like triangle of grass and I think

the thing about Amsterdam is there's just lots of weird stuff that's going to confuse you when you're high or even if you're not. Because we were there completely sober and just kept noticing off-key things. Like this little patch of grass. And it was covered in very realistic lizard statues. Like, covered in it. And they were probably monitor lizard size. And you just walk past and you're in Amsterdam.

You're like, what the fuck is that? In the morning, completely sober. And it's like, that's weird why why have you done that to this patch of grass why have you put lizards all over this this is come on come on come on the netherlands yeah there's gonna be a lot of a lot of stoned people walking through that park yeah you're gonna get very freaked out yeah because i remember going as a student and doing the typical things that students do in amsterdam and thinking oh my god that whole city is just weird and then i went there as a grown-up completely sober and i was like yeah no it's

definitely weird like all the buildings are leaning at a weird angle everything looks a bit skewed there's statues of lizards all over the place yeah so so yeah i can imagine what it would be like to be in on an island full of lizards like that so yeah i think that would be a bit freaky and if you manage to fish they're going to find you as a food source and they're going to start coming and and bothering you and oh yeah and suddenly it does make a difference that they're poisonous perhaps so true yeah yeah bit of yeah confrontation there yeah yeah fair enough well i think it's a really fitting end to uh an elaborately awful island so i think you've done a great job of picking an island hellscape for you to live on.

So congratulations and I'm sorry about that. It's all right. I just can't get the smell of goat's cheese out of my mouth. I know, I've been thinking about it. Phantom goat's cheese. Well, let's sort of cleanse our palate

by talking about some useful stuff about what you're up to at the minute because you've got an album out and you're about to go on tour yeah yeah so we have released um our sixth album truancy same last last friday um and so yeah it's really nice to get out and get you know yeah it's taken a long time for us to uh basically find our feet again uh we we were in a very uh i think i think we were just so exhausted in 2018 when we'd finished making our fifth album that we really didn't know. Like you see so many bands do that sixth or fifth or sixth album where it's just like no one cares anymore.

And so it felt like a very redundant project to get, you know, to start straight away. So you just needed the time off to think, well, maybe the time away will, you know, give us the rejuvenation and the audience audience as well and so now we find ourselves here some was it five years after the release of big balloon six six yeah but covid in between all that so you know yeah we lost like four yeah four yeah three or four yeah so it's more like that and of course you know taking a two-year wait from demoing to get it released so there's that as well yeah but yeah it's it's been it's been a great thing to just kind of get back on with and like see how much we've changed you know it's like it's it's a bit like checking in with ourselves as as uh

as creative people um we seem to have ditched all the time signatures gone straight in for heavy chorus where possible yeah and yeah I'm very I'm really I'm really happy with this with this body of work actually

I'm usually quite critical of what we of what we do but yeah I do consider it a return to form for us actually great

nice and yeah so then we'll be off on tour next month nine dates across the UK so yeah

perfect yeah and we'll be trying to get our own podcast stuck kicking off again at some point possibly doing some

on tour specials you know like a bit of a diary thing nice so but you know it can be found through our band lovely

brilliant well thank you so much for coming on Desert Island Dicks today it's been a total pleasure cheers thank you mate see you later so there you go that was robin and duncan from dutch uncles there and uh yeah as i say do go

check out their album true entertainment it's out now and try and get and see them on tour as well that's it from me for today like I say I'm going to keep it short because I have got a very sore throat that's giving up on me but yes Desert Island X as always was a Sink Clap production dreamt up and produced by James Deacon produced and

presented by me Dan Benedictus ongoing support as ever from John Deacon and thank you to Chris Attaway for his occasional and wonderful editing support as well. We'll be back again soon with either a Compact Dix or an Old Dix or a New Desert Island Dix. Just subscribe and you'll get all of that without even having to think about it. And yeah, thank you for listening. Bye bye.