Desert Island Dicks - Ed Night

Episode Date: January 11, 2026

For this week's Desert Island Dicks, I'm joined by Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee, Ed Night. Be sure to follow us on twitter and facebook @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley and welcome to Desert Island Dix, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest. And here to share their desert island dicks with us today is Ed Knight. Hello, Ed. Hi. Hi.

You got your shades on. You're ready for the islands. Yeah, I'm ready for the island. I'm ready for the sun and the heat and the weather. I've got my shades on. Yeah, I'm looking forward to telling you all about. my most hated people and things. I'm glad you're here because I didn't host it then,

but you were the 14th ever person to be on the podcast in 2018. They say you do Desert Island Dix twice in your career. It's good to be back. He's had his time. He's on his way out. Yeah, I'm nearly dead now. Hopefully the heat and the sand and the salt water will kill me before the animals to...

I've got your list here of the things that you said last time and some of them are aged appropriately. Really, some of them aged well. By what? Well, not aged well, I'd say, like, the reasons have become clear. I've been vindicated. Yes, you've maybe... For instance, George Orwell.

George Orwell. Who's number two? Russell Brand. Number three. Tom Holland. Oh, wow. Is 2018 Ed different to... the 2018 Ed that said those things is current day Ed's different.

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm a different man. A different man. You said, and the drink you said is cuddles. What does that mean? What? Ruddles.

Ruddles. What's Radles? It's just like a rubbish. I didn't like it at the time, but I'd probably drink it. On the way here, I was thinking what my drink being? I'll probably drink a raddles, I don't mind. You like Raddles now? I don't like it, but I'll drink it.

I was like, what the fuck is cuddles? Okay. So how did you find putting together your new choices for the island? Well, I found it very, very difficult, partly in thanks to my maturation and partly in thanks to my media coaching to think of any specific people. You can do groups of people. That's why I've done. Yeah. Oh, wow. You've grown it. Put a couple of ruddles in me and I'll say, I'll name some names. Okay. Who's the first person? Let's go. get down to it.

My first person, hastily thought up. So obviously if one of you is listening and you like me, if one of these people was nice to meet, I was talking to Mike Rice back this yesterday. I would just crumble immediately and be like, I'd be like, yeah, be like friends. I'd like them if they would, like, said one nice thing about me. You're not strong in your convictions.

If Russell Brand was to tweet tomorrow, how much he enjoyed your, you stand. Listen, the guy's done some bad things, but it doesn't mean he's not got good taste. He's a smart guy. He knows his comedy. No, he's evil. No, you've got to cut that out. That's not in my...

That's not him. Yeah. Anyway, start the episode now. The media training. Start the episode now. I think my first... It's a type of person on... It's like a really popular thing to do on TikTok and reels and stuff now.

And I guess YouTube shorts. It's to... To eat food. really sloppily while making like making stupid faces and like getting sauce all around your mouth and loads of people do it and these videos keep coming up there's one guy in particular keeps coming up and I think partly again it's jealousy because he's got like so many followers and he's going all around the world

and he's probably making lots of money probably a nice guy but just that the stuff is so inane that it feels like I'm having it like a hole drilled into my head while I watch it. Do you know how algorithms work? I do know how I remember. The reason it keeps coming up is you keep watching. You keep searching for them. Yeah, but it's like, yeah, I don't keep searching.

You keep liking them. You keep commenting hearts. Genuine. Yeah, my algorithm is fucked on it, like, truly. But like, I get some, like, some, I get some, I get some awesome, some insane people on. Yeah, anyway. This, there's, it's just like, it's so, it's, it's, it,

I have a thing anyway about people who eat noisily or like talk with food. If I hear someone like mouth noises, it put it's like. You know that's the condition. Is it? Is it? Really? That's what it is. It's where it's, yeah, it's a thing.

It's like if you hate the noise of somebody eating or, yeah, it's an actual thing. It's, is that, really? Yeah. Am I getting diagnosed on the podcast? Yeah, we've got you here so we could all tell you. Misophonia. Misophonia. Yeah.

sound you are very sensitive to sounds yeah i'm quite sensitive to sounds i sometimes have to leave rooms because it's yeah ed you have a genuine phobia of sounds i don't have a phobia it doesn't like you are afraid of sounds i'm not fucking scared of noises you are scared of sounds and i'm telling everybody i'm not fucking scared of anything i'm not scared of noise this is i'm not scared i'm not scared of davy williams you can come fucking i can't cut that um right the episode The episode starts now. The episode starts now. Yeah, I'm not scared.

I'm not scared of anything, but I do, I will leave a room if I don't like a noise. Okay, so people that eat disgustingly on TikTok. Yeah, and sort of like, not necessarily like, it's not, there's like a subgenre of quick, short videos where the whole point seems to be that people will get like, mess everywhere and like they'll like dunk something in a bit of sauce and it will go everywhere and then they'll and then they'll like suck it and like it makes like the roll their eyes back and go like that oh yeah and stuff like that and it's like why are you doing this man like anyway um that's my first one but again i i i yeah i don't like it and the noise is the noises okay who's number two number two this is tough i've written them all down and

I don't know if there's, I think I'm going to have to go with Jack the Ripper. Oh, come on, Ed. Sorry if that's too woke for you. Listen, I think the guy was bad. I think he was a rotten egg. I think he was a bad guy. And I'm not afraid to say it. He's a rotten egg.

Rotten egg. I mean, I think he was a rotten apple. And I think he was a nasty character. And I think that he doesn't, I would hate to be on a desert island because he'd probably kill me. It was mainly women that he was going after, was it? I think it was mainly, I think you'd probably be okay. Do you think so?

Yeah. I'd like to change my other than that. He said very nice things about you, Ed. Is he really? Yeah. Listen, Jack, he's Jack, if you're listening, if you're watching this. I think it's crazy how also there's loads of, um, the thing with Jack the Ripper is that every five years or something someone will release a book that's like I've figuring out

who Jack the Ripper is and then you get to the end or whatever and it's like no I haven't that was a lie like every five years someone I got out of I've used new evidence to this and it was him and then loads of scientists will be like shut up fucking shut up it's not you're a liar so wait did they ever find out who Jack the Ripper was they never found out well there's people that say they know but then there's like other people that say no but in those times did they know who it was no so it's not a thing that got lost they never know no no they just never knew there's like a I think it was like a handful of suspects or like, whatever, but there was recently a big stir because someone was like I've used,

was it, RNA or some shit to find out who Jack the Ripper was. Anyway, it's David Williams. No, cut that. Let's start the episode now. Wait, did they know his name was Jack? No, no, I think it's like. Oh, even that's bullshit. Yeah, I think that Jack was just like,

it used to be like just like a common nickname for it's so like Jack the lad or a mad Jack Yeah Yeah there's Jack the lad And he's a friendly side

A Jack the Ripper He just kills all the women Yeah exactly That's kind of like Yeah Yeah Imagine being Jack the lad When Jack the Ripper comes out

You'd be like What the fuck Do you know what I mean? Yeah You're typing in Jack Thur And then you're not The I don't want people to

see it at me with that. You know you type Harriet Kemsey into Google and it comes up Harriet Kemm's disability. Okay, what is the... Is it actually? That's actually sick. Okay. What is the third choice for the island?

When you type in Ed Night on Google, it comes up with like, well, like Ednight tour dates. It comes up with like Ed Shearin's tour dates tonight. It really pissed me on. Is it really? Yeah, it's so unfair that if you just Google Ed. That's so unfair. If you Google Ed, you get either Ed Shear and like explosive diarrhea, eating disorder or erectile dysfunction.

Not me. Anyway. The last one I'm going to have to go for Jeffrey Dahmer. No, I think I'm going to go with, this is a very broad group, but there is like a subsection of jobs. I don't think I'm the first to say this. There's a subsection of jobs which give you a small amount of authority in a small sphere

and the people that have those jobs that take it to extreme. So for example, you've ever been like, those like fake counsel police that would hang around and watch for people dropping cigarettes on the ground and stuff like that and then fine you?

Or like, they, one of them like push me up against the wall once so that's not allowed or you know train ticket inspectors who also ask to see your rail card because they're the they're the real ones with the who are on a power trip if if if you're if you're a train ticket inspector and you ask just to see my ticket which I've bought with my rail card and then you move on I'm like you actually your sound but if you're like and your rail card I'm like right you don't have to do that yeah I'm clearly a senior citizen you're doing the most exactly do you not believe that I'm 18 to 25.

No, yeah, it's just like... So you hate anybody that's taking their job seriously? Yeah, basically. I think it's a real drag. That's worried that they're going to lose their livelihood. That, you hate that. Who's... Listen, no one is like, no one is...

Harry... Classes came up, so classes are completely off the head now. Harry listen. Back on. I think, I think it's just like... you're not like, the train tickets are, like the train ticket price with a rail card

is already more than a train ticket should be. Give people a break. Why are you in the hand of big trains? Also, just like, make it, if you're that fucked about it, just like change the fucking the process on the train line or the app or whatever so that you have to show your rail card when you book it.

Okay. Because it's like it's. Make the internet in person. Also, it should not be, I think that it should be rail card discount at point of purchase, not a point of travel, because that's how they get people with the fight. They spring the fines on you because you book a train ticket three months in advance when you have a rail card. Your rail card expires and you don't have it with you while you're traveling on the train. Yeah. But you bought the ticket.

That's the thing. It's like, is it, is the discount meant for, is the rail card meant to be, is it meant to be a price, a price, a me? for people. Say for example, I'm literally just thinking about this stuff on the fly. Like I'm going into the Matrix in the moment. But say for example, I've never heard anyone be so passionate about it. Is it, is the function of the rail card, I guess, to be to allow, if it's like to, is it to like ameliorate the price for people within the rail card bracket? Say for example, people 18 to 25. If so, it should be rail card at the point of purchase. Or is it for some reason, like a magical ticket that like gets you on the train or is it meant to aid you in your journey

like so for example yeah what i think i think it's meant to be it's meant to help people with the price so surely it would be cut that or most of that it should be at the point of purchase not at the point of travel right i i i but it used i will say that i have i did know a hack of how to fake a rail card yeah and so i did that for a while because you could just you hid the the year of your birth within the number that was hidden within the thing, and then you got a rail card. But then also... So I'm the problem.

The trains are so, like, countrywide are so, like, fucked considering how they used to be. Like, the prices are through the roof. Services are constantly cancelled, and, like, my local station, the service has been reduced so much. Trains are cancelled, like, trains are cancelled, like, every weekend. it's just like it's just like doing your favour, do I mean? Yeah, but it's not the trains you're angry with. It's people that take their, people that go,

that are a bit jobs worth. Yeah. Why are you so, why are you so, why are you so, um, why are you so like gung-ho? Why do you love rules so much? And why do you on the side of the freaking man? Yes. Okay. Yeah.

I mean, it's like, you know, that, I think the spirit. of Desert Island Discs for me is to, like firstly, like name check celebrities. Yeah. George Orwell, for instance. Yeah. I can't remember that shit. You can't be bringing up stuff from seven years ago.

That's not fair. Literally all the cells in my body have changed. Yeah, exactly. That's not fair. This is your new hatred. You're different now. I'm a different guy. You were in the establishment before.

You're out of it now. Yeah, I'm out of it now. Yeah, I don't know. Well, then I'll change it to the, to privatised rail. Actually, yeah. Or whoever, actually, it's actually the big rail. That's what you hate. I actually do want to include whoever fucking designed the National Rail app,

the UI is so dog shit. It's like, it's just so like. The National Rail app is so bad. It's so bad. Because, no, wait, maybe that's TFL. Maybe I'm thinking of TFL, sorry. But it is bad. It's so useless.

It's like, it's just so, listen, we know it's fucked. We know you don't give a shit. We know that you're price gouging and like none of the services work. Like you're, like there's train drivers and crew, people that work on the railways and on the underground, are not paid enough. Like, everything's fucked. At least throw us a bone and make the app usable.

Just let me check if there's a train from London, Victoria, to ballot. Please just let me fucking check. But I think the question is, how much does it cost to run a train? To run a train? That's what we need to ask. Like how much is it costing to send this train from Victoria to Streatham? How much is that? Absolutely.

That's a really good point. Is it like, because it can't be, it can't be more than 20 quid. It can't be more than 20 quid. Well, first of all, Victoria to Clapton. So why is everyone? But driver's wages. Driver's wages. So how much are they getting?

They're not getting more than like, that's a 10 minute journey. They must be getting like 20 quid for that. If. That's 40 pounds so far. Yeah. If, yeah, I don't know. I don't know how much drivers are being paid. but they should be paid more.

That's what I say. Yeah. Okay, so you want them to be paid more. You're anti, the actual train, not the trains themselves. I love trains. You love trains. I love trains. I love engineering.

You hate the companies that have taken over the trains. Yeah, rail should be publicly aren't. Great. That's what I believe. Great. It took us a while to get there. All right. But we've got there.

And how much, we're working out how much it costs to run a train. I keep asking questions and then Google has no answers to them. No one asks. I have a lot of love in my heart So it's very difficult to be asked Like who I hate Do I mean? I don't hate I don't think I really hate anyone

You look a bit like you're having a breakdown right now And I think you've done really well And we're going to move on to things The food and wreckage The food and drink That is left in the wreckage of the plane What is your worst food and drink? Please Ed

Food Mayanese That has not changed The seven years It's changing yourselves Do you still have mayonnaise? Every six months, I have a heap teaspoon full of helmans out of the jar. Why, if you hate it?

To see if you like it again. Oh, if it's changed. No, if it's changed. Well, both. Because, like, loads of foods I didn't used to like. And now I do like them. Like what? I don't know.

There's just loads of stuff. Like, the classic one, I guess, would be like, sort of, like, olives and, and, stuff like kind of like pickled I really didn't used to like pickles and pickled stuff when I was younger and now I can't get enough of them you know I think that's the same with a lot of people you said how much you hated them on that podcast? You've come around

I really come around yeah I love them love them now I'm really really come around it's not it's not like I'm not it's this is right you're trying every six months you're trying to genuinely forcing it down it's the one thing that makes me it makes me want to be sick I don't know what it is it's starting to make me think I have some kind of repressed memories

Do you think the problem might be that you're eating it with a teaspoon? No. Do you think it's, because that's not, people aren't doing that. You know what I mean? Like, that's not a, I can always tell. I can always tell. When there's like mayonnaise in a sandwich, even if it's like a tiny bit or mayonnaise in a burger. I'm not big on mayonnaise.

There's too much mayonnaise in tuna mail or egg mail. I can like just taste it immediately. Overwhelmingly so and I have to stop eating the sandwich. Yeah. Or whatever that contains the mayonnaise. Like stuff like potato salad or pasta salad or shit like that. It makes me sick. What's weird is.

that like fresh mayonnaise or like an ioli or something i really like that but just something about jared even like even even even cupy mayonnaise i could barely stomach but sometimes it's like you know you order something from like a restaurant or something and it comes with the mayonnaise swirled on top instead of on the side and i'm like i'm really sorry like you've blindsided me here i'm going to have to ask for a new i think it's in the jar there's an aftertaste though there's something that gives it the longevity that is bad. And it's also, it's just like, unlike other condiments and dips, if I'm, in my opinion, it's like,

or just for me personally, it's always worse than the vehicle. So like, you know, there are some places where they love to have mayonnaise on their chips. I would prefer to just have dry chips with nothing on. I'm the same. Than just have the mayonnaise taste. Yeah. It makes it work. Like, why, if I'm having.

like a really nice piece of like a piece of burger or chicken, why would I want the overriding taste to just be mayonnaise? That's crazy. Anyway, so I'd hate to be stuck on an island with some. It's a big jar. Yeah, a big jar on an island. Just looking at you. Okay, what about drinks?

You've moved on from Ruttles. No, this is a difficult one because I do quite, I had a really difficult time picking, I was trying to, I was trying to see if I could get away with having mayonnaise as my food and my drink. but I don't think that's not in the spirit of desert islands. I, I do quite like most drinks, I think. I was having a really tough time.

Even Ruggles, you know, I wasn't really that committed to it. It would probably just be my least favourite pint to have in the pub that I was drinking at at the time. Now? Do you like an apparel spritz? I do like an aparral spritz. Do you like a milkshake? Name every drink.

You know what you can do. Name every drink you do. think of them. I'd actually like to see where it stops for you. What drinks you fall through. Okay. Water. Love it. Probiotic drink. Coffee. I love it. I've got a water and a coffee right here.

Orange juice. Like orange juice a lot. Other juice. Apple juice. I love it. Squash. I love. Can I tell you something that happened to me recently? Me and my girlfriend shout out. She's awesome. We went on all right, the podcast starts now.

Shout out. Let's call it quits. Let's start again from here. Come I allowed to have a nicotine suite on this? Sweet. BBC would let you. They wouldn't let me have a nicotine suite on the BBC. All right, shut that.

I, we went on a walk around a big graveyard near where we live. That's hot. We like to do it sometimes. Like it's just nice, especially when the weather's like this. But this time, do you know what they had it near the entrance to the graveyard? Local church had set up like, um, well like people from like the local church community but whatever set up a little gazebo

and they had a big thing for the hot water with one of those little plastic things that you press down and you get the hot water and they're giving out tea and cups of squash in those like really flimsy little plastic cups and I don't know what it is but squash I just don't know what possessed me I just went over and I was like I have a few cups of squash

and it gave me some and it must have been I'd say God 15, 16 years since I've had a cup of squaw longer than that maybe 20 years since I've had a cup of squash

made by an old person from the church So it's that strong It's unbelievable how hard Like it hits so much differently Straight by in the eyeballs To squash that you make yourself Squash made by like an old person

From the church It's unreal You're reserved when you do your own squash Yeah it's true It's unbelievable yeah So that was really good squash. I think I'm going to have to go with. I don't have any particular beef with it.

It's just not something I like or I'd never pick like a cherry-flavored cola or soda or pop or anything like that. You never have a cherry flavour. It's too sweet, too sickly sweet for me. Most of the times I'll just have a refreshing water or a coffee. But that's fun. It's fun. It's fun. It's so fun. It's like got

how random. It's got chequely. If I'm going to have like a fun drink, I'm going to go for, here's what I'm going to go for probably this, this is that I'm going to go for something I haven't had for ages, like an oasis or a fruit shoot. No, not as good. A cream soda. Yes. Which is unbelievable. Fun, so fun. Cream soda is just unreal.

Yes. Or like an orange, like an orange, like an orange marinda or something. No. Orange marinda is the best one. And every time I see one, I'm like, fuck, you know, I used to have one and I was like every day. What about Cherryade? Do you remember Cherryade? I do remember Cherryade. Oh, do you remember Panda Pop? Yeah, I love Panda Pop. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah, I love.

You've become so much more positive in the last seven years. I have, yeah. Well, life changes you. You just listed things you like. You've broken the format. I genuinely, I have. You just listed things you love. And then shouted out your girlfriend. Yeah, she's something I love. I, yeah, I would like, I think that there's some. many things on this planet that are just unbelievable.

And we get to have them all the time like panda pops and squire. That's so nice. It is breaking the format. It's not what we're looking for, but thanks so much, Ed. At Medcan, we know that life's greatest moments are built on a foundation of good health, from the big milestones to the quiet winds. That's why our annual health assessment offers a physician-led, full-body checkup that provides a clear picture of your health today. And may uncover early signs of conditions like heart disease and cancer.

The healthier you means more moments to cherish. Take control of your well-being and book an assessment today. Medcan, live well for life. Visit medcan.com slash moments to get started. So fortunately, you won't be without entertainment on the island because the Plains Entertainment System continues to work. But unfortunately for you, it's your least favorite film and music. I like the fact that you've created an in-universe justification

for how I can watch a film instead of just a lesser podcast would just use it as a flimsy pretext to get me to slag off a film but you guys are like no actually in the world in the in the in the author's world there is actually one of the seats has landed in front of you and it's still connected to the electricity james just thought of it all um so what is it what's your film tough i went through i've got like a list of films you're just going to list films you love yeah um i could i could do that i i did there was i watched i found it i remembered a few that i watched where i was like that's just crap or I didn't like it at all. There are ones that I can't,

there were ones that I'd forgotten I'd watch because they were so crap. Like, saltburn, I really didn't enjoy it. Really? Yeah, but I mean, the thing about that movie, I think it's not like my most hated movie ever, but it would be a rubbish one to be stuck on a desert island with because it was like,

I remember me and my girlfriend watched it shortly after it came out because everyone was talking about it and everyone had like really strong opinions either way on it. Everyone was like, either it's really, really amazing or like, or crap or whatever. And we were like, oh, let's watch it and then we'll be able to talk to other people about it. And we thought

at least, like, when you like watch a crap film, but you have fun with it. We watch loads of dog shit film, probably arguably technically worse films than Saltburn together. But we've had, they've been, we've had fun. Like, like, having an hour for it or whatever. And then we watched Saltburn, we just sat sort of in silence for two hours.

It was just absolutely nothing It was like we weren't moved at all Like a lot of the film wasn't like The film wasn't compelling to me on on any level Like the acting The script The like the shot choices And like technically it wasn't compelling

I just got nothing from it It was like a like a sink of two hours of my time It wasn't even like a precious memory Because I would say it's a bit fun Like it is fun I think You had no fun I had no fun It wasn't like, yeah

We've watched shitter films And there have been nice memories with my friends or my girlfriend Because we've had a fun time But like this, it was just zero Just nothing Also I think Was anything happening in your personal life when you watched it? No, I was actually happening a brilliant time in my personal life

And then you turned it on and then you just had a bad two hours Because sometimes you know when you watch a film And then you're like oh but I was I did my, I did just get news and my cat was dead You know and then you watch a film And then you're like I think of that has tainted it. a little bit.

You say that, we actually had the opposite because we were, it was like a really, it was like in, I think it was like winter or whatever. Anyway, I remember it was like cold and we were like hunkered down and so we just had a lovely day, we'd gone for like a long walk and.

Another walk, another graveyard. Another walk, another graveyard. And we, at the time, we were dog sitting a corgi who was really nice. Watching the Queen's Corgi? We were watching the Queen's Corgi for it, yeah. and then this corgi was awesome it's kind of like it's so funny

corgis are so random you just don't hear about corgis very often I don't think I've ever really said the word corgi so much I'd never met one they don't seem real this kid was something else let me tell you What's this corgi called? Mika the corgi is so silly shout the fuck out to Mika the Coorgie

she was unbelievable she was so sweet and also it was the we live with other people and the other people that we lived with in the flat were away for like this whole period so for just a week it was just me and my girlfriend and this little dog in the flat

so it was kind of like the most blissful week ever and then this fucking movie ruined the whole thing it was even stuff like I was just for days I was thinking like as your director when it's your job when Barry Keoggin says I think in this scene I'm gonna fuck the grave you go actually that doesn't happen in this film Barry that doesn't happen in this one

so no it's actually pissing me off how much I'm still thinking about it so yeah fuck that film okay what's the song the song it's going to be the NHS hold music because I have a lot of medical problems

my heart palpitates a lot I have lots of ectopic heartbeats apparently nothing I could do to fix it just some people have more than others I spend a lot and I've got like aspirin shit but I've been having loads of like recurring hospital appointments for minor stuff recently.

Like I had a sleep study, those are E&T, shit, stuff of my heart. So I spent over the past, I'd say eight months, so much time on hold to my GP or the NHS and they've got this music that goes like, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dam-dam. And I just heard it so fucking much. It would drive me.

Like I'd probably, from the sense memory, start having heart palpitations again on the island. When you sang it then, it was a bit Star Wars. I think so. Yeah, it was a bit da-da-da-da-da-da. I'd love that stuff on the design of some John Williams music. I'd love that. No, I get that.

When you're forced and you're listening and that you can't not have it play, that's the thing with, they must have invented a new way where you don't have to listen to their choice of song. Well, yeah, all whole music, that's the annoying thing, is that you can't do anything else while you're on hold.

You have to wait till you're off it. So you just have to have that somewhere, Even if it's on speaker in the other side of the room or in your headphones, you just have to have it going? Do you think there will come a day when they start playing podcasts in between? Rather than having hold music, you'd have hold podcasts. This will play instead on every NHS. That would be great.

They have to listen to this. I don't understand why it can't just be quiet. Yeah. That would be so much better. You can get other stuff done. Yeah, why do you have to have it? Yeah. It's kind of crazy.

Anyway, so that's my song. You've moved on since the country-style acoustic guitar cover of a pop song. Oh, yeah. Well, that was very zeitgeisty at the time for me to say that, I'd say. I was just trying to impress your listeners, and I'm sorry for not being genuine and true to myself. It's been the NHS whole music this whole time. I love country music.

I do. I've switched how I was immature, I was stupid, and in the year to be in seven years, I've switched fucking massively on country music. I made a friend. I've got a new friend from Arizona who introduced me to a load of like real deal country music guys. But this isn't real deal maybe because you're saying a cover of a pop song. Maybe that's why you were like.

I couldn't, you could put a gun to my head in this room. Okay. Okay, let's do it. Put a gun to my head and I would not be able to tell you under threat of death what song I was thinking of when I told you that. I'm sorry. A little man by mom for this son. is it? Wild's moved on and it.

Fucking hell I've been in this game a long time. Little lion, man. Okay, Ed, what is your worst animal... Is you found an animal worse than a cat? What? Did I say cats? What did I say that? I love cats.

Seven years ago, Ed, he didn't like cats. I did, but cats have been my favourite animal since I was a tiny child. I've always grown up with cats, so I don't know why I said cat. What did I... I can't remember. Right. You didn't know yourself then. I would have said it.

I'm pretty sure if you listen back, my instinct is I would have said something like I wouldn't want a lovely cat to be trapped on a desert island. Oh yeah, I wouldn't want my cat is amazing. I wouldn't want her to be trapped on a desert island. Not what you were saying seven years ago. How old is your cat? She's, in fact,

it was when I saw you two days ago, it was her 11th birthday. Oh. She's 11 years old. She's an old girl. Yeah, she's an old girl. She's still, she's still, she's, but she's quite small for a cat,

so she seems like a kitten still. She's really sweet. I had a cat like that. Shout out to my cat's mind. We've got some corgi and cat listeners today. I really love most animals. This is extremely difficult for me to pick because I wouldn't want,

there's not like an animal I don't think that, probably one of my most toxic traits, I'd say, is I believe that if I was stuck on a desert island with like a lion or a crocodile or like a gorilla or whatever I'm like we'd make friends

but we'd only have each other yeah I reckon a shit one would probably be like a sea horse or something because it would just be dead would be dead wouldn't it if it was stuck on the island would be it would just be dead oh dead sea horse yeah that'd be so weak

a dead sea horse I wouldn't want to be trapped on a desert island with a dead sea horse I'll tell you that much because it's not even like, you know, I like to eat fish and stuff I wouldn't want a fish to die but if I was trapped on if I was trapped with a dead salmon I'm like well Brightside I'm fed for the next couple of days. If the sea horse was alive would you eat the seahorse?

Probably not. Yeah, you can't eat a sea horse? It's not a feeling, do I mean? Yeah, what is, can you eat seahorse? Is there too magic though? They see magic. You can't eat a magic animal. I would say exal bully, but Kirstalms already

strangled them all with his bare hands. I would say Geronimo the alpaca but again, Stama beat his head in with a truncheon. What, there's really, even like, when you say animals, like all I can think of, all I can think about are my favourite animals?

So maybe that's why I said cat last time. Are you vegan? No, I think, when did we record? last on 2018. I might have been vegetarian then or no, that would have been just before I was vegetarian for a while. No, I'm not, but I probably

should be. You've gone back or been vegetarian? Yeah, in the, thinking like 2021 or 22 I started eating meat again. But I don't really, loads of animals. Probably an animal that like,

I'd say maybe like, Yeah, I'm thinking about the companionship with the animal. So there are loads of amazing choices. Cat, pig, cow, horse. These are brilliant animals to be stuck with. Although I wouldn't want these amazing creatures to be. It's one that you hate, though.

You're being stuck with one that you hate. That's the idea you're putting something on the island that you hate. We're going to be here for a long time. If you're trying to ask me which amazing creatures I hate, I guess maybe a wasp. Yeah, that's a great, of course. Yeah, but it's not, a wasp wouldn't be stuck, would it? Unless it was like, couldn't, his wings were broken.

So I'm thinking, I'm also, I'm thinking on. Is there a wall around the, like, is there a wall in a dome around the island, like in Kongsco Island? Like, how far can wasps fly? Like in the monster verse films, because where they track King Kong on the thing. They can't migrate from one desert island, like back to land. How far can they fly? You don't see wasps just like traveling over water, do you? Well, when was the last time that you were over, you were in the ocean looking for wasps?

And I don't think you can say that with any authority. What do you mean a wasp can't do that? It's a huge swing to make. They don't just go, they don't just go like, okay, see yeah, I'm just going out, popping over to France. And then they go, they don't do that. How do you know? I just, I don't know for sure. You need to separate your facts from the facts from your feelings because it just feels that way.

I would suspect that a bugs can't fly for a tremendously long time. But who's to say that a wasp could probably fuck off. I'm Googling this. I'm not trusting you anymore to do it, James. I'm Googling this. myself. I reckon maybe they could get on the channel tunnel, but I don't think they could fly. Well, you reckon the wasp we get on the Eurostar and get to France that way? Okay, well, I mean, that's basically it. I stand by the fact the wasps can swim to France.

Once again, I've Googled something. Can swim to France. Swim to fly. Once again, I've Googled something and no one's ever asked it before. So it doesn't come up and this keeps happening to me. Your phone is like, what the fuck are you talking about? Your phone is like, listen, my job is to, my job is to get no signal and spy on you for I'm not answering any questions about wasps. This is above my pay grade.

Remember when your phone could answer questions about wasps and so it was spying on you all the time. They can, but they just don't answer my questions. Like there's loads of answers to other things that have been asked, but there's no one's ever asked, can a wasps fly to France? Okay, so what are you up to at the minute, Ed? I'm doing the Edinburgh Fringe Festival in August with my new show, Your Old Mucker.

It's exciting. Follow me on Instagram and come to them shows. You're at Monkey Barrel at the Fringe. And where can people find all the information that will be on Instagram? On my Instagram and the link in my bio. Great. So it's Ed Knight. Ed Knight, that's me. Thank you. Lovely.

And thanks so much, Ed. I'll see you in seven years. See you in seven years. Who will he be then?