Desert Island Dicks - GLEN MATLOCK

Episode Date: February 8, 2023

Anarchy! Real life Sex Pistol, Glen Matlock joins Dan to share who and what he'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island... it gets political! Be sure to follow the podcast on social media @dickspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At Sierra, discover top workout gear at incredible prices, which might lead to another discovery. Your headphones haven't been connected this whole time. Awkward. Discover top brands at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. You're a podcast listener, and this is a podcast ad. Reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lipson Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering

host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to LipsonAds.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N-Ads.com. Hi, I'm Dan from Desert Island Dicks. And as I mentioned on our last episode of Top of the Cox, which was a music special, we're doing music-themed episodes this week because it's the Brit Awards, and we thought, well, that's a nice thing to loosely hang some content off. So today we've got a special musical guest. It's none other than the original bass player from the Sex Pistols, Glenn Matlock.

And we had a good time choosing horrible people and things for the island and talking about that. We only had a limited amount of time with him but you know if you get to speak to one of the sex pistols you've got to grab that with both hands so I hope you enjoy this one as ever we've got more episodes coming your way soon we'll have a new episode of compact dicks this Friday which is where you get to choose your people and things that you would hate to be stuck on an island with so let us know who and what you'd hate to be stuck with go to dixpod.com contact or you can go to dixpod on twitter or instagram and leave us a message there as well and we'll hopefully get you into the next compact dicks podcast okay that's enough of this for now let's get on with the show shall we here's glenn matlock of the Sex Pistols on Desert Island Dicks.

Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is musician and former bassist from the Sex Pistols, Glenn Matlock. How are you doing? All right, Dan, how are you doing? Right, this plane crash. Yeah.

Did we survive unscathed? I'm going to say you're all do we survive unscathed i'm gonna say you're all on the island unscathed there's no limp or ingrained toenails or anything like that i mean only if you had those things before but i'm gonna say you get out unscathed it's a soft landing yeah okay now obviously glenn you were in one of the most sort of famously outspoken bands of all time and your new album i mean your new single is called head on a stick so obviously you know music wise you're you're fine with being outspoken and talking to authority i i think i think i think it goes with the territory really i can't see the point of being

a musician and not trying to have a go have a go i don't know we're always successful of having something to say the things that are going on around you. And I think anything else is an abrogation of responsibility. Fair enough. But, I mean, in daily life, do you have a bit of a temper? Do you like to rant or confront people, or are you a bit more easygoing? No, I'm quite easygoing. What I like to do in the morning, I get up and check some of my emails, and I wander around the coffee shop,

and there's a little French coffee shop that's always open always open late but they got a built-in bench outside and I sit in the corner with my croissant and my cappuccino and I kind of inwardly scoff at some of the neighbors who've been to the general-purpose shop and they come back with a Daily Mail under their arm so I kind of got them numbered sometimes I take them to task oh it, it's not the politics. We like reading the TV page. Oh, we like reading the small paper. Well, I'm sure we're all eager to hear who you're going to choose.

So who's going to be the first dick joining you on the island? Well, some of these people, I don't really like to speak their name, but I think one of the most horrendous slithering toads in public life, and there's another reason why I'll get on to it in a minute, is Michael Gove. Okay, yeah. Right.

I think he's a nasty, duplicitous toad egg. And also, I'm a Queen's Park Rangers fan, right? And tail end of COVID, when it had opened up a little bit, I went to see queens park rangers play millwall and to get a ticket you have to be a member of queens park rangers to get a ticket in the way in and when you go there on the train they they escort you off the train because there used to be a bit of trouble at millwall and you can only go if there's like a cage passageway

that takes you into the away end. And now I'm sitting there. And come off time, they're losing 2-0. And my attention is wandering. And I look round a bit. And about two or three steps down, but just the other side of the gangway that goes down, who's sitting there?

Michael Blinken Gove. As bold as brass. And I don't know where he can even dare go out of the house. But the thing was to get a ticket he must have been a Quays Park Rangers fan and I was livid

about it so and then because it was the tail end of COVID and me wasn't doing very well and I really

rarely do this but I didn't want to get caught up in the train with all the some of the herbots going back me and my son left about 10 minutes

before and I said have you noticed Michael COVID and he said yeah he said I son left about 10 minutes before, and I said, have you noticed it's Michael Gove there? And he said, yeah. He said, I've got to say something to him. I said, well, be careful what you say. So as he walked down the steps, he had a right guard, Michael Gove, right? And he didn't know what hit him.

And he turned around to look for some moral backup, you know, from somebody. Who's this young kid having a go at me? And he looked at me. Didn't know what hit him. Didn't know what hit him. And then on the train back, train back i said look we come all this way to millwall then we've lost you know and it's cold and he said yeah but at least i had a chance to ever go at michael gove because he's a musician too you know practice is really effective blokes like us yeah yeah of course

yeah yeah it's just i suppose you're right there was that sort of like you say duplicitous nature with him like there's lots of politicians we kind of don't trust and assume that they just sort of say whatever they're whatever they feel that day with michael gove it's really obvious that he could just switch sides at any moment and do whatever he wants you know yeah and then there's another bloke like if you want to move on to the next one is switching sides is johnson yeah horrible you know we're in the desert island do we get any implement you know like a shovel or a spade or something like that i'm gonna say it's whatever you can salvage off the plane or make yourself you know well i think i'd probably get you know the fold down bit on the back where you put your dinner? The tray table, yeah.

Yeah, and somehow get a pole and strap that to that and presumably it's a desert island, there's sand and it's not too much hard work. I kind of make it into a bit of a shovel and then where you go back where the undergrowth starts, you could probably dig like a bear pit, you know, and there might be a few shards of broken glass or something left over from the plant.

And then just kind of stay on the other side. Hi, Chiltern, I've got something to sell you. Back at him and poof. Done. There you go. Then they could end up serving as the latrine for the rest of the jurors. Do you know what?

A very proud moment of mine as a dad was when my son, who's five years old on the way to school he goes um me and my friends were talking about how we could best capture boris johnson i was like oh really he goes yeah but my friend said uh i'll hide in his loft and then i'll pour water on him and i was like okay that's good so what are you gonna do he said i'd get him in a big net and then we'll and then we'll take him to the police and i was like this is i'm so proud of you fantastic yeah great five well he goes it took me a while to finish my my coloring in because we were talking about it so much and i was like yes new breed of people who don't have bad haven't had the war pulled over their eyes so i don't

know anybody falls for him you know it's so isn't it? Because people just sort of go, oh, but he's just like, just a bit of a lad or a bit of a nice bloke. And they say it about Farage as well, because occasionally you see him with a pint and it's like, I know you like having a pint and he likes having a pint. That doesn't mean that he excuses everything else he does.

Well, I think that's a cop-out, isn't it, really? Yeah. So if we can move on to the third person, that's a cop-out isn't it really yeah so if we can't move on to the third person is it is a whole list of contenders but i personally like farage purely because i'm not a bad swimmer just thinking you know we have to escape from the plane and you have to swim to the shore and then farage i don't think he's the fittest bloke in the world not saying that I am but then he'd be

coming in and he'd known him he'd probably half inched one of the rubber dinghies off of the plane and as he's getting closer I say

no no you're not allowed to land on our shores you're banned and then there'll be a bit of taste of his own medicine then see how he likes it

yeah that would be satisfying as well yeah I mean if there's one thing that could top you sort of having a go at Michael Gove at a football match,

then I think it's denying Farage entry onto your island, I think. Yeah, that'd be cool. And what I could do, because there probably

wouldn't be a great deal to do on a desert island, apart from, you know, making sure Johnson's still down this sort of whole bear trap latrine kind of thing is just patrol up and down the beach and go michael i said no you know lover for the

fast show and like that yeah definitely i think i mean i think all your choices are very strong and um i know it's going to make our listeners happy. I just had someone message me the other day just saying, God, I wish I could put all that lot on the island. So there's one listener in particular I think will be especially happy. But I suppose they all represent that total erosion of any kind of responsibility

from public figures where you can just say anything and it's like, oh right, and you're just going to get away with that. And then, you know, it's so much more damaging than just what they do at the time. It's like the legacy of lying and distrust and just sort of getting away with it, isn't it? Yeah, it's sort of gaslighting, I think, the current term is.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, so... Do you feel there's much hope in it at the minute? I do. That's why I've called my album Consequences Coming because I think people are beginning to wise up a little bit and it's a positive thing. Not that we're going to get consequences coming.

They're going to get consequences coming and they'll come unstuck. I personally like to see the over here, the Tories decimated and the Republicans in the States the same and anybody's got that kind of been pushing for this right being lurched to the far right I don't know

I'm not Che Guevara I'm not Tarragally but I know what's right and what's wrong I feel anyway so I'll speak my mind about it. Yeah that's the thing isn't it it's so it's sort of hard to these days like especially if you've got kids whatever and you think how can you tell anyone what's sort of right and wrong when like not only do people get away with it but they seem to do so well out of being doing the opposite because they're all in it together

that's the thing you know and it's always sort of vested interest press and you know all these newspapers run by people who are domiciled abroad and don't have any real stake in england apart from milking it yeah fair enough well look you're off to a great start with an island full of complete dick so uh yeah we got the people nailed there what's the island called is it dick island haven't you got no fire no we just we just say it's an I mean, you can call it that if you want to plant a flag in it. Yeah, so you've got to be careful because I'll be on it too, so I don't want to be

I don't want to have my passport stamped that I've been in the wrong place at the wrong time. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, maybe you could sort of name it yourself and call it something that would just antagonise the people that you're with. Yeah. Because you have a history of being an artist as well, so, you know, I guess you could knock up the flag and if they all left it to you then they wouldn't get any say when

you've hoist it up that's true yeah well i could just do it when they're not around you know while they're foraging or something like that yeah yeah and if you've planted the flag then you know you get to say it's yours yeah but presumably if it was a plane load of people and there's only three right wrong ones on there the rest of the people would be reasonable yeah yeah well we hope so i mean i think at the minute you know we're putting you with just these three people so oh just me and them yeah there's four of us yeah i mean i don't know what's going to happen after that point maybe more people will wash up you're a hard man it's the first time anyone's called me that. Let's not go there.

All right. Now, mercifully, amongst the wreckage of the plane, there was some food and drink left over. Unfortunately for you, it's your least favourite food and drink in the world. What are they and why are they so bad? Right. Well, I remember going to Roundwood Park when I was a kid.

They wanted a coconut, you know, where you win one off the phone we got one but over here you don't get much milk in the coconut you think it's going to be all juicy and sweet and it weren't it's all but i ate it anyway and then i went on the big dipper and i was violently sick and i've had an aversion to coconut ever since then i don't i mind coconut. And I've been quite nice, been to Brazil a couple of times. When you go along Ipanema Beach, there's these little sort of ice cream sellers, but they have a big fridge, you know,

where you slide the top and you have to go in it. And they have ice cold green coconuts. They make you up a cocktail. What's the... Oh, caipirinha. Yeah. Or you can just have a coconut with a straw in it. Bloat knocks the top off with a machete,

and there you go, it's great. But I can't stand the flesh of a coconut for some reason. Well, the reason is, is because I was violently Moby Dick for being on a Big Dipper when I was about five years old. And I mean, it's quite a bad one to be stuck with, because obviously on a desert island, we're assuming you're going to have a few coconuts as well so they're the green ones hopefully not those horrible brown shriveled airy ones well yeah but if we're making

like the worst island possible for you we're gonna have to assume that we're gonna get green ones you're gonna get the crap ones i told you you're a hard man yeah or maybe you know maybe it's just that the shady bastards you're on the island with probably nicked them all and uh you know done something with them or squandered them away not even done anything useful with them but just left you with a big coconut deficit and you've just got the little crap bits i mean i think that i could see that being how it went with those three on the island well i think i'll probably end up losing a few pounds and okay okay and uh what would your drink choice be well we're going back to the green coconut there yeah again again now um i'm not a big boozer these days in fact i'm not the boozer

on the other i do like my coffee coffee comes from brazil but They've got some little islands off of there. It might be, you know, through a bit of exploring and in between patrolling the beach and making sure a barrage didn't come aboard, might find the remnants of an old coffee plantation. So I could... Do we have internet on the phone or anything like that? Well, I don't know. Only if you could cobble it together from stuff on the plane.

But you like coffee, don't you? So it's got to be your worst drink to be stuck with. Oh, it's the worst one? Yeah. Well, no, and there's two sides to that. Because if I make coffee and it wasn't very good, which it probably wouldn't be, that's even worse than having no coffee.

Yeah. See the way I got out of that without... Very good. Very good. Yeah, i often think it's often worse to have something that's so close to something that you could absolutely love there like you know like i i find sparkling water really annoying you know and i find like if i only had sparkling water to drink it would absolutely do my head in because it's water would be so great on an island but um well let's see i like sparkling

water because i like the way it dances on your tongue right but when you go to the fridge sometimes they get one out and somebody and put the lid on properly and it's gone flat that's pretty bad flat sparkling water is really worse than flat than. Yeah. So maybe salvage a few things from the aeroplane. Okay. So maybe we could have, like, just a really bad little drink set for you so you've got, like, flat sparkling water to go with your bad homemade coffee.

Yeah. A bit bitter coffee. It would be bitter. It'd be like you go, you go, like that. There's got to be one more drink. No, no, no.

It's just one food and one drink. But I'm just giving you two drinks because we started talking about it and i thought okay you've had a hard time so let's i'll give you yeah i'm on a desert island with with free herbets and it's not exactly you know the fourth of july for it isn't you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lipson Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to LipsonAds.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N-Ads.com. All right. Well, Glenn, fortunately, you won't be without entertainment on the island. The Plains Entertainment System continues to work, but just your luck, it only has two working settings. One is your least favorite film of all time, and the other is your least favorite song. What are they and why? Right. Well, my son wanted to go and see, when he was about 11,

Jack Black in a movie about wrestling in Mexico. Oh, yeah. Is it Nacho Libre? Yeah, that's it. And, right, I like Jack Black. I like Mexican wrestling. Not that I follow it that much, but I like the masks they wear and all that.

In Palma, in Mallorca, there's a really nice hotel right by the main square. And when you go in there, normally to just get a coffee, here's the car because it's expensive. But behind the reception, they got about 40 different, what are they called? I think there's a name for the wrestling pit. It was something of those. Luchadores. Luchadores.

Yeah. Luchadores, marches, masks. It looks fantastic. But like in all that, like in Mexico, actually I'm going off there with Blondie in about a month's time, and like in Jack Black, I went with my son to see this movie, and it was the worst movie I've ever seen in my life. It was dreadful.

So that, I wouldn't like to have to sit through that again yeah yeah he's um it can be a bit hit or miss sometimes yeah like i don't have an issue with him broadly speaking but yeah there's there are some stinkers in there as well yeah i don't know but it's one of them but you might like it but you know beauty is in the eye of the beholder as they say can you remember exactly what it was that you disliked about it? I'm trying to put it out of my mind, to be honest. It was that bad. Every joke was kind of really laboured,

and you could see it coming. And it didn't really strike me as much as a proper luchador type, because I actually went to some awards ceremony, and he was there. And you think, he's this big bloke, he's tiny he's really, and he came up to my shoulder, I'm not the biggest bloke in the world so he's a little fella

I wonder if sometimes like it's worse being stuck with a bad comedy than just a normal bad film because you know like if it's just a shit film, I don't know if it's easier to get through than something when it's just a shit film i don't know if it's easier to get through than something when it's just not making you laugh over and over again i i i can see that yeah you're not supposed to laugh so you don't and it's like yeah you know but when it's supposed to laugh and

you can see it coming and it's still not funny and you know there's been all these script writers working on it and you know that they've all collectively had an off year while I was hassling to get the film together and get it funded and get it made, and it's gone through some executive, and they all thought it was funny. You think, what a waste of not only your time, but mine. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. And what would your song choice be? Is it just one song, or is it an idiom of music? Well, you can have either, really. I'll let you have, like, say if you pick a genre, then, you know, we'll just give you a compilation or something. But yeah, it's up to you. I don't like

bad country and western music. But then again, Beauty's in the Eye of the Beholder. As a bass player, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, wears a bit thin after a while. What's the worst kind of music, though?

I don't really like... I don't think I like to be stuck with Lou Reed's Metal Machine music for too long. Oh, yeah, that was... That's a tricky listen, isn't it? Yeah, it's a tricky listen. Because there's a rumour... I don't know, you might have heard more about this than me,

but there's that sort of rumour that he just did it to annoy the record company because he had like a contractual obligation to do a certain number of things and yeah contractual commitments so turn that yeah i i think if i had to listen to that well i wouldn't really but you know if i had to apply it i'd probably go like that you know with my fingers in my ears but if he wants to annoy the record company that's fine he ain't gonna get to annoy me it probably could be quite good for annoying um johnson and gov and farage though so that's something just stick it on really loud and go to the other side of the island that yeah yeah so i don't have to be within earshot i think you can make your own way around the island so yeah i mean it would be quite good to yeah sort of an anti anti right wing siren maybe a speaker pointing down this bear trap kind of pit well the johnson

trap that i built based on what they're like you could probably kind of get on their tits quite a lot with some of the sex pistols music i imagine as well yeah that's that but then you know you need you need some equipment and some instruments and lead singer. Have you ever had that thing where, because, you know, famously sometimes politicians adopt a certain song. I think it's obviously less likely with the Sex Pistols or some of your work. But, you know, sometimes you'll have, was it David Cameron

really liked eating rifles and Paul Weller got really pissed off with it. I mean, that must be a horrible situation to be in as a musician. Yeah, it must be. It hasn't happened as yet but we do get approached for things and everybody has a vote on what songs can be used and it has to be a majority thing

so maybe it would have come up but it didn't things like that tend to happen when people don't realise they have to approach the people who own the copyright I know Trump ended up with an extra nobly, and I know they was going to do that Brexit news in with benefits, and they couldn't put that to knock it on the head,

because there weren't any. Or, even worse, they've right-said Fred. Yeah, because they're quite conspiracy theorists now, aren't they? They're like very anti-vax sort of thing. Yeah, it seems like that. Might have a point about that, but there's something about them right-said Fred want to you mentioned paul weller yeah then you mentioned right said fred story i heard paul weller's dad john used to manage him the jam where he managed

the jam and all that and i think this is a long time ago now but the story about and i knew john and he went to see the record company about paul's new stuff and the guy listened to it and he went to see the record company about Paul's new stuff and the guy listened to it and he said, thank you, John, it's all changed a bit since back then, you know, with the jam, we're number one everywhere and all that. He said, I mean, right, said Fred, we're number one in the States now. And John went, well, that's it, I'm giving up. If Bernard Cribbins is number one in America...

Very good. Nice. It's reportedly true but um there you go nice okay glenn finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why i don't like most animals is it do we dislike them because they're dangerous or just because they're it's up to you yeah i mean it can be i mean anything big or small down to like you know tiny mosquito to a i don't know a big shark or something so um yeah i i kind of like most dogs but i can't stand yorkshire terrors okay because the blokes who live above me upstairs we've got one it's yappy in lockdown they were leaving bags of poo on the doorstep

because they were too asked to take it down the street and put it in the bin. And they bang up and down stairs so it can have a pee at the end of the street every night. And they wander around like elephants. So I'm not like Cain on Yorkshire Terrors at Rhyme. Okay. It's not really the dog itself, although they are a bit yappy.

I don't like it when people put bows in their hair, because that's really namby-bamby. But a Yorkshire Terrier's got loads of connotations for me. Yeah, fair enough. Is that fair enough? I mean, you know, I'm not talking about armadillos or lemurs. Can live with them. Big gorilla. Yeah, good for him. That big gorilla might be ending, shitting up the tree and slinging us a few green coconuts down.

But I'm not allowed to have them, but at least I could know that they was there. Might also take out some of the other inhabitants on the island. So you never know. Like he might see Johnson, think he's a kind of silverback. He might do even worse. OK, Glenn, well, look, you've done a great job today picking an island of things you hate. Done a good job there, and I think I wouldn't want to spend any time there either

with the people you've picked. Right, OK, so we'll put that one. If there was a Treasure Island map, you know, and X marks the spot,'ve picked. Right, okay. So we'll put that one. If there was a Treasure Island map, you know, an X marks the spot, but underneath somewhere else, it normally says, there be dragons. We'd be under that,

there be dragons bit, right? Yeah, I think so. I think so. Yeah. A bit to me like the East End of London, but there you go. And Glenn, let's talk about your album a bit because you've got the single out now

oh i forgot about that yeah i forgot all about it and uh the album's out in like april isn't it but you've got end of april yeah got the head and the stick single came out last friday took good reaction been getting a bit play here and there i like it um i think if I had to describe it, I would call it a spleen-venting toe-tipper. Okay, yeah. Right, and it's kind of S-V-T-T, which actually sounds like something you might have to go down to clinic for, but it's not.

Okay, yeah. So you can go to a record shop instead. Yeah, and the album's out at the end of April. And yeah, and you say it's sort of like a lot of the things i guess stuff that we've been talking about as well like sort of frustrations about society and things shifting to the right and that kind of thing yeah this is my outlet for it um you know i kind of wonder how many songwriters end up on the psychiatrist couch because by writing a song or if he was a journalist or a novelist he got an outflip for your ire and angst so it's good to get out it's just the more i get in new york right and if

somebody does something wrong in the street i go hey what do you mean you fucking yeah yeah and they don't really mean it but they're just getting it out it's just you know and that's kind of cool so um yeah it's that but i think there's some good tunes on it there's some great musicians on it replyers and i think it's all come together in a nicely formed p into our times there you go i would say that though wouldn't i yeah well we'll all check it out thank you so much glenn for coming on the podcast a real pleasure to meet you thanks for having me stan my name you go would say that though wouldn't i yeah well we'll all check it out thank you so much glenn for coming on the podcast a real pleasure to meet you thanks for having me stan man there you go glenn matlock there for you on Desert Island Dicks.

As I say, we had a limited amount of time with him, but yeah, we obviously couldn't turn him down as a guest. It was an honour to speak to him. If you're a new or regular listener to the show, thank you so much for listening. It really means a lot. And if you could leave us a rating or a review, that would be really helpful for us.

It makes a big difference where we show up in the charts and things like that it's all to do with boring algorithms blah blah blah but in short it's really helpful so if you could do that we would really appreciate it we're really busy behind the scenes bringing you more episodes um got loads recorded loads to put out soon so hopefully you will enjoy what's coming your way it's all all free, so, you know, a little review would be lovely. And I think that's about it. Desert Island Dicks is a Sink Clap production. It was created and produced by James Deacon. It was produced and presented by me, Dan Benedictus.

And as always, big thanks to mighty John Deacon for all his help behind the scenes, helping us kind of keep track of the archive and the back catalogue. Obviously, earlier in the week, we did a of the cocks episode with a few old episodes and it's well worth checking out those episodes in full as well because they're really good and we've got like over 200 of them all on spotify and wherever else you get your podcast so go and have a listen um i think that's about it for me we'll be back very soon so thanks again for listening bye