Desert Island Dicks - IAN BRIDGEMAN

Episode Date: November 7, 2017

This week's installment of Desert Island Dicks features, podcaster, social media guy and Wikipedia search enthusiast, Ian Bridgeman. Find us on facebook and twitter @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lips and Ads. Go to lipsandads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Hello and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees. And here to share their desert island dicks with us today is podcaster and social media guru. Yeah, person, Ian Bridgman. We should have firmed that up before we started talking, I think.

Probably, yeah. No, that's fine. Yes, that is... Hello. Hello, James. Can I ask a conceptual question first? Are we currently on the island in the theatre of the mind that is podcasting so if it if it helps to paint the picture for you and to and to bring out your reasoning behind these people then you can be wherever you like if if it's if you want to think of this as the moment as the plane hits the ground and you look around and you see that the only living people are these people then if that works for you use that okay because because I always prefer to do my podcasting method.

Right, okay, yeah. Well, you know, you are the artist here and we are merely your servants. All right, so if you're happy to dive straight in. Yeah, I'm happy to. Let's dive. Yeah, well... Into the luscious yet salty water. Please do tell us who's your first desert island dick.

My first desert island dick today, James, is Thomas Edison. Thomas Edison? Thomas Edison, an inventor from history. Please, yes. Inventor and businessman. So should listeners not know who Thomas Edison is, would you be able to fill us in? Well, Thomas Edison, he's accredited with inventing quite a lot of things right a lot of people would say he invented the light bulb um i see already that

you're approaching the uh his credibility with trepidation yeah well and you know what he did invent a lot of things and but he also put a twist on pre-existing things and said, that's now my thing. Okay. Fair enough, that's allowed. But he was also a ruthless businessman. And that means that sometimes some of the things that he claimed to have done, he stole. Right, okay. Bullied his way into doing.

So although he sort of has this reputation as being like this magnanimous inventor he was actually um a dick all right okay and so uh so i if i may i'd like no please yeah absolutely that'd be great is um illustrative please do mr edison yeah so back in the day, and I say that because I've neglected to look up the date, 1887. Yeah. The day. There was this big rivalry going on between him and his company, and another company founded by a man called Westinghouse. Okay.

And it was all about electricity. Right. At the time, so you'll probably know from batteries and plugging things in, you know, we all do it. Yeah. There are two kinds of electricity, basically. You've got DC, direct current, and you've got AC, alternating current. At the time, Edison, he had his company, they made direct current equipment. They could generate electricity, send it to other places as a, you know, the same way you use a battery.

It's got positive, it's got negative, it goes around the circuit in a particular way. Great. There's a problem with that kind of electricity, which is that it doesn't go very far. It's quite difficult to get it long distances. Okay, all right, yeah. So he looked into this problem, employed a man named Tesla, who you might have heard of, to come up with some solutions.

Tesla said the way to do it is AC, alternating current. Edison said, no, that's rubbish. Shut up, go away. That's where Tesla leaves this particular thing. But Tesla's a very interesting man in his own right also not immune from being a dick but he was quite an interesting man who isn't Ian?

well indeed now that's getting into difficult territory yeah I know so Edison ignored AC Westinghouse on the other hand went all in for AC, and he started to gain quite a lot of popularity

with his alternating current electricity, which could go a long way through the cables without having to have more equipment to make it go further. So Edison was getting a bit worried about this because he didn't have the technology, this AC technology, until a particular thing happened. He got a letter from a dentist in New York, New York State. This dentist had witnessed a drunk man killing himself by touching a live electric generator. And so this dentist got in touch with Edison to say, hey, hang on a sec, this could be used to kill people.

So this could be used in terms of, in executions. Oh, wow. To kill people, humanely, you know. Oh, yeah, okay. Like killing people. Yeah. Instead of the other options, you know. Oh, yeah, okay. Like telling people it is. Yeah. Instead of the other options, you know, hanging cyanide.

Yeah, yeah, all of that. Whatever else they might, lethal injection. What if, you know, we could just zap them, problem solved. So, quite white, I mean, I would not want to go to this dentist. No, yeah, of course, yeah, absolutely. But Edison, to his credit, actually was not a fan of the death penalty.

He's not a fan of capital punishment. But he suddenly realised that this was an opportunity. Right. So what he wrote back to the dentist was that although he wished... OK, I'll quote directly. Although he would join heartily in an effort to totally abolish capital punishment, he felt that if they had to use an electric current to dispose of criminals under sentence of death, the most effective of these would be an alternating current.

Oh, Edison, you backpedaler. Yeah, so what he decided to do was to use it, start a negative marketing campaign as alternative current is the perfect thing to kill people. Oh, my God. Why would you want it in your house? They use it to kill criminals. Ah, okay.

So in order to demonstrate this, okay, he rigged up a sheet of metal to an alternating current generator, and he led a dog towards this piece of metal, which had a metal bowl on it, in order to have a drink. It was a thirsty dog. The dog touched the metal surface, it yelped and died, right? And he did this as a demonstration. This is horrific.

Yeah, so he kills a dog. And from that point onwards, he goes, he carries on, on his killing spree of animals. Eventually, Edison, or in demonstrations he set up, oh, sorry, yes, shortly after the demonstration, he was quick to remind

a reporter that the current came from an alternating machine. So he's saying all of this horrific stuff is happening, but it's not me. It's this AC. Yeah, exactly. So he continued on his spree. In the end, he killed quite a few dogs. Yeah.

He killed some calves. He killed some horses. Okay. And eventually, he even killed an elephant, right? He sent 600 volts through an elephant. Oh, my. A big public demonstration of the dangers of alternating current. Just like a big horrific circus that he's taken touring the country with.

Yeah, exactly. It's really, really horrible. Do you know where he killed this elephant? I think he killed it on Coney Island in New York. So he's gone through the effort of getting an elephant. Yeah, it was a misbehaving elephant. Probably because... Because it was in captivity.

Yeah, exactly. He didn't want to do tricks, which I think is fair enough. Thomas Edison was a dick. He was a dick, right? So I wouldn't want to be on the island with that man because I would have found a coconut or something and then he would have patented coconuts and started extracting a coconut licensing fee from me.

And then he would have tried to open it, wouldn't have been able to open it, and then deemed it as unfit for human use and then killed you with it in a demonstration. Exactly. Coconuts are lethal. They fall out of trees and hit you on the head. Thomas Edison, you bastard.

Also, he liked eugenics. Okay, all right yeah well yeah as did to be fair as did a lot of people at the time but you know still yeah yeah i mean okay i think that is you know that is a really strong suit for for your first dick so tom you and thomas edison are on this horrible horrific island should we move on to your second yeah i'm i'm already i'm angry now are you angry about edison your reasoning behind edison has been really strong so far i must say some bad reasoning for the next okay all right whenever you're ready who's your second desert island dick

wallace from wallace and gromit oh no okay i'm sensing i'm sensing some yeah fond memories christmas time watching some wallace and gromit it's a it's a plasticine character I'm sensing some... Yeah, fond memories, Christmas time, watching some Wallace and Gromit. It's a plasticine character that makes children... It's a plasticine dick. It makes children and families happy. Yeah. OK, go on, Ian. The thing is, I love Wallace and Gromit.

I absolutely love them. So this is difficult for me. OK. But the fact is, he just doesn't appreciate what Gromit does for him. them. Okay. So, this is difficult for me. Okay. But the fact is, he just doesn't appreciate what Gromit does for him. Oh, that's true, yeah. I know that's part of the comedy,

don't get me wrong, but, you've got, you know, Gromit's there, you know, working hard. He solves all the problems.

He's got the answers, yeah. He brings everything to a tidy conclusion at the end of each film. Wallace is, you know, self-centred. Yeah, he's got the answers yeah everything to a tidy conclusion at the end of each film wallace is you know self-centered yeah he's ignorant he's ignorant you know he does a good friend he's a probably a good friend to gromit and the other thing is that you know i i've taken quite great pleasure in seeing wallace's inventions he's another inventor. Hmm. Yeah. Not as evil. Is there a theme across your... No. Okay, all right.

It's about to be broken by the third one. But none of this stuff is necessary. No. It's so inefficient. The wrong trousers. Yeah, exactly. To start, yeah. Exactly.

The wrong trousers, the whole kind of breakfast into bed thing. Yes, yeah. Straight out of the window into your car. Who needs that? What a waste of time. The hubris of this man. He's a time waster. A waste of time and money.

And resources, yeah. Exactly. What does he do for a job? Where does he get money to do this? Is he leeching off of the government to make these stupid inventions? He might have some elaborate inventor's tax deduction scheme going. He's just keeping it a secret. He's on to have some elaborate inventor's tax deduction scheme going. He's just keeping it a secret.

He's on benefits. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. I mean, very quickly you've turned a character that I've known and loved from childhood into quite a feasible dick. Yeah. I think he's just indicative. There is a problem in society of solutioneering. Yeah. I think he's just indicative. There is a problem in society of

solutioneering. Okay. Where people are coming up with solutions to problems that don't really exist when they could be focusing on other things. I'm with you. And it happens a lot in Silicon Valley at the moment and I just don't think Wallace should

get away with it. Okay. I think he needs to be taken to task. I'd like the next Wallace and Gromit to perhaps be him. He's realised that his whole life has been a sham and he's just taken an honest job. Maybe he's working at Nando's. That's great. Work at Nando's.

It's a good place to work. That's great. But just because you've got to make a film out of it, then Gromit would work at Nando's it's a good place to work that's great but like just because of you know you've got to make a film out of it then Gromit would work at Nando's as well

and Gromit would be doing all of the work and then he'd still be reaping all the benefits that's true to be honest he'd be stamping his card when no one is looking

you don't think that Wallace can be reformed I don't know it's just he is who he is through and through that's it I think you know

people don't change it's just who they are and that's. That's it. I think, you know, people don't change. It's just who they are. And that's who he is. I mean, I don't know why I'm already on your side. You've just put up such a good argument for why he's a dick. But I'm thinking like practically, there's two ways that I was looking at this. So you and Thomas Edison are stood there with either like a man sized plasticine model that moves or there's like a three-inch model next to your feet.

But, I mean, that's a detail we probably don't need to. I suppose technically as well you'd need an animator there or a team of animators. Yeah, that's it. Or just let him melt. Just let him melt. And imagine they're quite demanding. They'd need like long breaks and stuff like that and, you know, tea at regular intervals.

Yeah. Fire up the AC Edison we need to make a cup of tea great okay well Wallace of Wallace and Gromit does Wallace have a surname? We don't know no it's Wallace and Gromit okay Ian Bridgeman who's your third dick for your Desert Island dicks? My third dick is the footballer

John Terry which I'm sure probably won't meet with a lot of... Surprise. Surprise or there's no real backlash. He's no Wallace. Great, he's there. Let's move on. Go on, what's your reasoning behind John Terry?

The thing is I don't know a lot about John Terry. Fine. I looked him up quickly and saw a list of fairly awful things he's done. Yeah. And thought, that's fine. The reason he's on there mainly is because I needed a footballer. Okay. And I thought, if I'm going to put a footballer on,

I'm not going to put Ian Wright. Yeah. Because I've met Ian Wright. Lovely Ian Wright. I'm very lucky to meet Ian Wright. And he was just lovely, as you say. He's lovely. Yeah.

So I needed a dickish footballer. but the point is he is a footballer, and I know nothing about football. Okay. So the idea of being stuck on a desert island with a footballer... Whose obsession is something that you just don't like at all. Yeah, exactly. I'm not that great at small talk, to be honest. I wish I was, but really to get going,

I need to talk about an actual subject. And with small talk out of the way, I'm pretty sure the only actual subject I could discuss with John Terry would be football. I just wouldn't know where to start. No, yeah, OK. It could have been any other dickish football, I'm sure. Oh, no, the things that John Terry has done

and has allegedly done make him, you know, a Dick. So I think that's fine. He can sit right there on the island as a desert island Dick. Have you got anything else to add to John Terry's...? No, I mean, as I say, I really don't know that much about him. That's great. You know, in a sense, he's unlucky, but, you know, to have been picked in this case.

I think you make your own life. A lot of people, yeah. In these sort of things. He has very much made his bed. I think that's a great desert island dick. I am compelling him to lie in it. Yeah, and that's great. Just lie within the sand getting just, yeah, washed out.

Over the years i've tried to develop an ability to kind of get through football conversations because it happened quite regularly yeah exactly and and you know it's part of living in this country you have to occasionally engage on that subject and and this is also another thing that became apparent with ian wright uh you know he'd come into the office occasionally, and I'd be like, hey! And luckily I had a model of the Millennium Falcon made out of Lego on my desk, because he loves Star Wars,

and so that was something that we could kind of discuss. But if it had come on to football, I would have gone... Oh, well... Yeah. So I've been trying out a few phrases. OK, yeah. So you're a football fan I do

I like football yeah would you be able to maybe test me oh yeah absolutely so would you like me to lead you down a path or see how it goes

ultimately football conversations you can't predict where they're going to go so if this is to be a proper test okay no no no it's not

it's off the cuff so I feel like you know I will do some, like, maybe more challenging and maybe less challenging. Okay. So, Major Man United signing Romelu... I don't know why I'm saying it out for you like that.

Major Man United signing Romelu Lukaku seems to be doing well so far. Yeah, yeah, well, you know, it's this new breed of players, you see. They, you know, they understand you see. They understand the business. They understand the business as it is today. And they're coming through. They're getting the job done.

It's impressive. It's good. It's really good. Try another. Try another. I'm running out. OK, no, that's fine. What about all these teams going out to China, Hong Kong,

to waste their time before the season starts? I feel like it's a bit unnecessary. Well, you know, the game's always changing. The game's always changing. And, you know, it's just a fact of the modern game, isn't it?

You know, you've got to get these things, you've got to get these things sorted. You know, clubs have got to compete. And if they're not bringing the money in,

then, you know, it's just a fact that they've got to compete on and off the pitch. That's excellent. It's just so good he's got to compete on and off the pitch. Excellent. It's just so good. It's me and him. So maybe it wouldn't be so bad. I think you could do it, yeah.

I've undermined myself. So, you know, who have you got your eye on to win the title this season? Well, you know, I'd say it's all up for grabs. Yeah, that's so good. That is really good. And all you need to do is know the name of one. Yeah, you know, Spurs could do it. And that's all you have to say. And then someone will go, oh, yeah, well, they've got these players and whatever else.

Yeah. You see, since Leicester, you know, there's no such thing as a surefire bet. I actually know about Leicester. It got like on the news. Oh, it was just, yeah. It was just such a rare occurrence. You're're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from lips and ads choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Okay, so to move on now, mercifully, among the wreckage of the plane, there was some

food and drink left over. Unfortunately, it's the least, it's your least favorite food and drink in the world. What are they and why are they so bad? So food wise, I'm going gonna have to go for sweet corn sweet corn yeah um lovely barbecue enhancing sweet corn well i corn on the cob actually that's okay i can i can deal with that okay baby corn also fine it is loose sweet corn which gets everywhere okay it's like the glitter of the food world well all amongst your meal or just like oh you know you buy a thing and then all of a sudden there's sweet corn in it yeah okay right when there's a can of it it smells weird it does smell weird kind of sweet well sweet corn it's yellow what have you got against yellow i think now i also hate bananas so there is a bit of a theme

going okay but bananas you can't miss a bit of a theme going on here. Okay. Bananas, you can't miss a banana. It's easy to avoid a banana. And it actually does taste of something. Whereas sweet corn, there's no reason for it to be there, really. I mean, it tastes a bit, but it's just there ruining my food. I feel like as you bite, you know, it bursts out this great flavour and it's just something that I enjoy to have in food. What, sweet corn?

Yeah, I quite like it for me it enhances a roast dinner what? that's awful I don't know I'm adrift in a world of sweet corn hating I don't know what's real anymore

did something happen to you as a child? no that's the thing there's no particularly bad experience. But if I bite into something and I see the sweet corn in it, I do start to feel a bit nauseous. Oh, wow. Oh, my God. But I feel like practically it might be quite nourishing on a desert island.

Yeah. I mean, you know, none of this is very practical, so it doesn't really matter. Yeah, I mean, there might have to. I mean, you know, none of this is very practical, so it doesn't really matter. Yeah, I mean, there are worse things. Yeah, nutritionally, there are worse things you could have on a desert island. Yeah. But you can obviously, you know,

it's your awful desert island and you can have a disgusting sweet corn if you want. Big old shipment format. Okay, all right. It's there. Disgusting sweet corn. And what are you going to go for as your as your drink well now it'll be up to you to judge whether this counts as a drink i'm sure it does

i'm gonna go with barocca it's a sort of a vitamin drink it's fizzy it's supposed to be good for you but here's the thing the thing that i find particularly annoying about baraka it's true of all vitamin supplements so i so what i've done is i've gone on the baraka website and i've looked up the table of vitamin content the amount of milligrams or micrograms in in each tablet and most importantly the percentage recommended daily allowance of each one that's great so vitamin b1 i will go through no i'm not going to go through okay vitamin b1 just give us the highlights it has 945 percent of your recommended daily allowance of vitamin b1 no one needs it's got 971 percent of your recommended daily allowance of vitamin B2. And those are the two highest.

But generally speaking, it's like, you know, pantothenic acid, our friend. Yeah, the well-known. 378% recommended daily allowance. None of these are going to do you any harm because when your body's got enough of them, it just gets rid of them through your urine. Right, okay. Your, hang on through your urine. Right, okay.

That's what your, hang on, kidneys do. Yeah, I think you're right. Maybe the liver. Yeah. Maybe a combination of the both. Maybe. It just gets rid of them. So that's true of any kind of multivitamin.

If it's got a million percent recommended daily allowance, once you're up to the amount you need, your body gets rid of the rest, which is a toxin at that point. Okay. So there's no point. There's 800% no point of vitamin B1 in Barocca. But what makes Barocca so blatant about this is that it turns your pee orange.

Yes. And the reason it does that is because that's the vitamin B2. The vitamin B2 is orange. It's reason it does that is because that's the vitamin b2 the vitamin b2 is orange it's your body rejecting that so that is so the proof that is your pee going orange the kind of oh it's the barocca thing it must be working is the literal proof that you are pissing out 90 of a barocca tablet every time the proof in the pudding is in the pissing. Yeah, exactly. You just don't need that.

So I feel like it's useless and it's not afraid to shout about it. That is why I like Barocca. That is so good. But I mean, what I will say about Barocca is I thought that that bizarre colour that it has is so unnatural looking that I just kind of think, do I really want to be drinking that I just kind of think, do I really want to be drinking that?

Yeah. You know, it's like drinking a blue slushie or something, you know, or equivalent. It's just thinking, should I be doing this right now? But then it's dressing itself up as something that's really great for you. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Whereas these other things,

like a slushie or whatever, isn't doing that, you know? It's like, I'm blue and i'm bad you know you don't need this but um yeah all right well that's i mean arguably you know might be quite a good thing to have on your desert island should you be able to find a good water source probably it would actually be quite useful but you know okay so they're great they're going right in there and fortunately for you you won't be without entertainment on the desert island. The plane's entertainment system continues to work.

But just your luck, it only has two working settings, and it's your least favourite film of all time, and the other is your least favourite song. What are they and why? Well, least favourite film. I mean, I struggled with this one a little bit, to be honest, because I'm not that much of a big film guy. OK, we can move to TV programmes,

but I probably should have told you that before. No, it's OK, it's OK, because I do have one. OK, cool. So what I thought was, and I saw this film quite recently, it's a film called Now You See Me. Oh, I saw a poster for it. Yeah, so who's it got in it? It's got Mark Ruffalo, it's got film called Now You See Me oh I saw a poster for it yeah so it's got who's it got in it? It's got Mark Ruffalo

it's got Jesse Eisenberg it's got Isla Fisher Morgan Freeman? Morgan Freeman, Michael I retired in 2006 Kane okay did he say that? that's great

that guy who was in True Detective that wasn't Matthew McConaughey. Okay, yeah. I can't remember his name. He's good, but not in this. Okay. Isn't everyone terrible in this? Oh, I've just realised what film it is, about the magicians. Yes, it's about magicians.

It's like a heist movie with magicians. Yeah. Which is not necessarily, I guess it's not necessarily a bad pitch. No. But what's amazing about this film, and I almost would recommend you watch it, which is a bit strange for something that I think is terrible, is that there is actually, there is no likeable character in it. Okay, Brian.

Absolutely, even the, and I'm using inverted commas, heroes in this film are completely unlikable. Okay. They're smug they're easily led Maybe somewhat true to the real stage musicians in the world Maybe it's genius

Sorry It's just most films you at least, you might side with different people at different times but this one's quite amazing because you can watch the whole thing with a furrowed brow going, wow, this guy's a dick. Yeah, okay. This guy's a dick, but he's fighting another dick.

But that's not enough to make up for the fact that they're dicks. You don't want anyone to win. No, exactly. As long as someone wins over someone, that's something. That's correct. But that just means there's slightly less dick in the film by the end of it. And then there's a big twist, which I won't reveal, obviously, because that would be...

Because a magician never reveals his dick. Yeah. Which actually brings the state of dickishness from... You'd already accept... I guess the twist was that you already accepted that there was a certain amount of dickness in this film. Yeah. And they actually managed to increase it. Wow.

Like you didn't think it could get any more dickish. And the twist is like, hey guys! Yeah. I'm going to pick up on was it, have they made a number two of this? They have made a number two. I haven't seen that film. It might be The New Citizen Kane.

Yeah, but I very much tell it based on the first film. So enough people liked it to have made a second one. Yeah, it did really well at the box office. Oh, my God. Yeah. Okay, you can have that. That's great. A terrible film.

You're going to have to watch that over and over again for the rest of your life. It's that or switching between that and your least favourite song, which is, Ian? My least favourite song is actually by my most favourite band. Ah. The band is Boards of Canada. Great. Great band. Yeah. Well, I think so.

Yeah, I'd agree. A sort of strange electronic-y band that sort of came out of the mid-'90s. It's been around for ages, and they release a new album every five years or so. For want of a better word, like atmospheric. It's very big sound. Yeah, atmospheric.

It sounds kind of analogue, but it's like beats. It's all kind of strange chords and um all instrumental pretty much um i love them i think they're brilliant i kind of grew up listening to it and one of their best albums is called music has the right to children i strongly recommend you have a listen to it yeah even so you can can be like, wow, someone made that. Yeah, that's great. You might not like it, but you'll go, wow, someone made that.

But I think it's the third track, possibly the fourth track, it's called The Colour of the Fire. I love Rome I think it's awful, and I always have to skip it. I love that album. Why?

What is it about that song so much, considering that you like it so much? The album so much? It feels so willfully creepy. It's got like this child's voice going yeah okay yeah i think i find it embarrassing because you know there might be i've tried i've played this out with people in the past yeah people have liked boards of canada based off my recommendation it's great people listening to this may now go and listen to boards

of canada and they early in the album they're going to get to that track and they're going to go, oh. Oh, Ian. Please. You know in a TV show where they have to kind of, they go into like the creepy, maybe like the creepy serial killer's lair and there's like a child's toy that's been slowed down. Oh, God, yeah.

Ding, ding, ding. And like, kind of effects and that kind of thing and all all the camera's all spinny. It sounds like they got the intern to do that music. Yeah, yeah. So luckily it's short. Yeah, okay, fine. You just take that away.

Yeah. But then you're sat there and you're like, oh, great, I get to listen to the Boards of Canada. Oh my God, it's the worst possible song that they've got. I've even considered you know on my iPod or you know at the time

actually deleting it and making my own custom version of the album where it just skips that's amazing yeah that's great I would never do that

to an album normally how long would you say the song was it's like a minute forty oh so it's not so you could do a version where you where you talk for a

minute 40 about why you've taken the song out and give a really good reason yeah and just sell that to people director's commentary maybe you should email them it's a bit late now it's released in 97 okay all right okay yeah so you know you know it's great to bring this up on its anniversary it's 20 year anniversary okay great that goes in the color of the fire boards of calendar and new to desert island dicks is a spotify playlist of all the worst possible songs so on spotify you can find the desert island dicks playlist and it will have just a collection of terrible songs for you to enjoy in your own time

that's a great listen yeah yeah you know for long journeys i mean it's only 20 minutes at the minute but um ian uh and finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it cats cats it's not a controversial choice. But it is informed by recent events in my life. Okay, please, please do share. My friend went on holiday, and she asked me to feed her cats while she was away. Cat sat. Yeah, cat sat.

And one of them didn't really care. That's fine, that's fine. But the other cat, who i won't name i don't want to you know i don't want to bring press attention yeah uh the other cat let's call the cat i don't know simon yeah simon's cat is a thing let's call it bertrand yeah bertrand yeah um it just really took against me like Bertrand was whenever I came in

Bertrand would would come in through the cat flap just start meowing at me oh I sort of tried to give it a stroke I mean it didn't attack me

or anything tried to give Bertrand a stroke and you know a cuddle and it showed its ass to me

oh tail up looking at the top really like a pissed off cat does I was literally giving it food and it showed its arse to me. Oh! Tail up, looking at the dog. Really? Like a pissed off cat does. I was literally giving it food. Oh, my God. That is the lower rung of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

Yeah. And that was not acceptable, apparently. Hey, take a look at this. Yeah, like... Yeah, exactly. Wow. If that was a dog, it would have been over the moon that this person was coming every single day and giving it food.

Yeah. I would have been a hero. I was expecting a hero's welcome. So obviously these cats aren't talking to each other because the other cat would have said, like, hey, you know, he's doing a good thing here, you know. He's doing his best. You know, take it easy.

Yeah. He's coming in to feed us oh well okay i just felt really and that's put down all of cats for you for i think if an animal is capable of that kind of callous behavior yeah yeah they all could be they all could be yeah it's it's a more of a it's a we need to just be aware of that potential. I think that's great. And I think, you know, well, I personally have a problem with dogs. We'll deal with that at another time. I think that's fine.

But I do get the fact that if we were to land on this desert island and it was just overrun by cats, that would be horrific. Imagine those just meowing away at you. Every time that they impregnate each other there's like loads of them do you know what I mean they're multiplying just rapidly eating the sweet corn

eating the sweet corn eating Barocca tablets foaming in the mouth yeah it's great I imagine John Terry would be doing that as well yeah he's like oh I didn't know you were meant to put it in water

thank you so much for coming in Ian that was great Ontario would be doing that as well. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know you were meant to put it in water. Thank you so much for coming in, Ian. That was great. And if anyone wants to hear more of Ian and his fantastic knowledge of things, you can listen to the... That sounded really sarcastic. My fantastic knowledge of Wikipedia's search file. Of Wikipedia.

You should check out Ian Bridgman's podcast along with Daniel Benedict and Brendan Appleton and it's called The Slump and you can get it on iTunes now

just search for The Slump search for The Slump that's great thank you so much Ian you're welcome Bye.