Desert Island Dicks - JACQUI SMITH

Episode Date: August 9, 2018

My guest on the podcast this week is former Home Secretary, Jacqui Smith. Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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for everyone on your list, like cozy slippers, ski gear, fishing poles, bikes, large kayaks, even larger canoes, which might lead to another discovery. Robbing gifts is the only sport you need to stay fit this season. Tis the season to discover great gifts at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. Hi, I'm James Deacon and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to you. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is former home secretary Jackie Smith. Hello James. Hi Jackie thanks for

coming in. My pleasure. I really appreciate it. Should we dive in who's going to be your first choice? My first person who it would be an utter nightmare for me to be stranded with is Boris Johnson. Boris Johnson. Well that's probably not a a massive surprise, knowing my... I did well, though, right? But it's not just about his politics. I mean, obviously, you know, I know plenty of Tories who I wouldn't mind being stranded on a desert island with. The thing about Boris that drives me up the wall, and, you know, we can come to his recent shenanigans around the burqa,

but, you know, this is... I try not to judge people by their backgrounds um you know either posh or otherwise but one of the things i find really difficult to stomach about boris is that he is a man who has had every opportunity in life um you know a good education uh all of the privileges and yet he has managed to prove himself to be, I think, lazy. Given the opportunity to have one of the best jobs in government as Foreign Secretary, he just looked as if he was winging it the whole time. And when he wasn't winging it, he was being offensive.

I worked with him when I was Home Secretary, when he was Mayor of London. And this is the type of man who, for a meeting that I was chairing on the security arrangements for the 2012 Olympics, turned up so late on his bike, with his hair all over the shop, for a security meeting, that we'd come to the end of the agenda. And he wanted me to go back to the beginning

with a bunch of other ministers and people, you know, being made to go through the whole agenda again. I refused to do it. And he had a bunch of other ministers and people, you know, being made to go through the whole agenda again. I refused to do it. And he had a sort of bit of harumph about him. But it's that type of entitlement coupled with idleness that drives me up the wall, I'm afraid. Wow. Okay. One rule for one and then another rule for the other. Indeed. And, you know, the trouble is, I have to say, I thought he'd come to the point where the man with a political party, let alone with the country. You know, this week, of course, when he's been making offensive remarks about Muslim women who are wearing a burqa, it's interesting because, you know, some people

put this down to a sort of gaffe. I don't. I think Boris is too clever for that. I think he has met with Steve Bannon. I think he's taking lessons out of that alt-right playbook. I think he will not apologise, but he will enjoy having been on the front of the newspapers for the last week. And in fact, of course, I'm playing exactly into his hands by saying he's the person I really, really dislike

and giving him publicity. So part of me hates that I hate him but i just do because you're giving him exactly what he's exactly what he wants he craves that controversy that's what he's done this for you know um and he will be loving it and he'll be loving the sort of um you know people calling on him to um apologize but then a whole load of you know other people whose attitudes him to apologise, but then a whole load of, you know, other people whose attitudes are to say the least suspect going, oh, yeah, Boris just saying what the rest of us think, which is, you know, I don't think most right thinking people do,

however much they disagree with somebody, think one, it's necessarily right to comment on what women wear and two, to provide weapons for those who want to have a go at um islam and muslim women and you know there is plenty of islamophobia out there without providing people with the ammunition to to throw absolutely it's a pretty sick and sad way to get yourself to the top if that's what you're going for indeed and i think he is going for it i'm afraid you know he's a man who's not short of self-confidence. And, you know, I think he still thinks he can be leader of the Tory party. Oh, it's tough, isn't it?

Wow. And so going back to what you said about him being a bit lazy, you sort of can gauge that by the way that he dresses himself, whether he dresses himself and the way he... Oh, no, no. But you see, once again, I think this is a show. Ah, OK. I think there are some people who are genuinely sort of untidy. And I'm probably going back too far for some of your listeners. But I'm doing a book at the moment, actually, with Ian Dale, who's also done this podcast.

And we're doing a book about all of the women MPs who've ever been elected to Parliament in the last 100 years. And I wrote about Shirley Williams. And what people may remember or not about Shirley Williams is that notoriously she used to be sort of quite untidy and have untidy hair and everything. She genuinely did because she was a busy woman who thought, I just can't be bothered to think about doing my hair and what I'm going to wear. I have seen Boris ruffle up his hair before he goes in front of a TV camera. So this is not, oh, you know, I'm just too brainy and too busy to worry about what I look like.

This is, once again, a calculated effort to look like that. It makes him seem so much more dangerous, right? It's all pre-planned. It's all premeditated. I think he's, you know, I think ever since he arrived at Eton, probably before that, he's been planning how he's going to become the Prime Minister. And it must have been agony for him to see his Eton chum, David Cameron, become Prime Minister before him. I think the whole thing's been a sort of, you know, trajectory and a plan since then.

Do you think it was a bit of a competition then between those two? Well, I'm sure, you know, let's be honest, you don't even get elected to Parliament, let alone become a minister without being pretty competitive. And I always say that anybody who says, you know, anybody who's a sort of serious politician, who if you ask them, would you like to be a senior minister or the prime minister?

And they say, no, they're a big fat fibber. And, you know, so I think most people are the top job not everybody is as focused and devious about their trajectory to get there as i think boris is okay but it'd be happy to take uh david cameron seconds right i think that's you know uh okay boris johnson at this point i normally ask anything else on boris johnson i think i think i've spilled it i think you have i really think you have you've very much covered um great boris johnson who's going to be your second choice well um i suppose in some ways i'm a bit of a sort of cliche because you there's a theme here which is i can't stand arrogant men

and my second person i couldn't bear to be stuck with is Jeremy Clarkson oh Jeremy Clarkson you know I am old enough to remember when Top Gear was a program that was actually about cars and I used to imagine that's a long time ago and um and I used to watch it but we now have it before he left the BBC sorry before he was booted off the BBC, decent human beings, except that like their dad, they are massive fans of Top Gear and whatever the bloody new one is called. So we used to have big rows and I used to say, I'm not even being in the same room whilst that man is on the TV screen, because this is another man, right, who has a sort of posh upbringing, who takes pleasure out of insulting other people.

Oh, but it's just a laugh, Jackie, say people to me. And I just, one, I do think I'm, you know, I don't want to come over sounding all po-faced. I do think I've got a good sense of humour. I just don't find a bunch of overpaid blokes messing around and breaking cars all that hilarious. Yes. And I don't find his, you know, I can just about put up with James May. Richard Hammond, I think, is like a little mini me running around after the bully going, oh, let me be in your gang, let me be in your gang, which is sort of a bit pitiful.

But Jeremy Clarkson is clearly the sort of chief bully. And I've come across too many people like that in my life to want to pay my licence fee or my Amazon, whatever it is, in order to watch them on the telly. So, no, I can't stand them, man. OK, it's kind of this brash, like, I think it should be left in the annals of history, really, that type of character, right like i think it's it's uh it should be left in the annals of history really that type of character right i think so you know that there's there's there's pranks and there's

funny things and you know i'm not i'm not somebody who can't see a bunch of blokes having fun but that just the amount of money that was spent on it the amount of time it's spent on my TV screen, the influence I felt it was having on my sons, they've turned out all right, incidentally. Yes. It was just, you know, drove me up the wall. So I was glad when he was booted off the BBC and disappointed when he found another highly paid place

to make his programme. And then recently he was on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire? Was he? Did you see that? I didn't. What, was he a contestant? No, on the reboot, there was like an anniversary edition of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.

It was on every night for a week. For some reason, they didn't bring back Chris Tarrant. Unsure why. But they brought in Jeremy Clarkson. Clarkson did every night of the week as the host of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Well, there we go. I'm glad I didn't see it.

And if I'd known it was on, I'd have deliberately ignored it. You'd deliberately ignored it. Not a bad programme, but no, not something I would watch if he was presenting it. Have you ever had any dealings with Jeremy Clarkson? Have you ever met him? No, luckily. I mean, he has written, you know, in his columns,

he's written, when I was Home Secretary, he wrote sort of disobliging things about me. But then I don't hate everybody who's written disobliging things about me as home secretary otherwise you know did it maybe fuel the fire somewhat okay all right jeremy clarkson yeah interesting does it i think he lives on the isle of man right i wouldn't be surprised get out paying his taxes yeah another reason to hate him he can stay on that bloody island but it's not coming on an island with me okay jeremy clarkson's your second choice okay and who is going to be your third choice for your desert island well my third choice i don't know his name but this is a man so to continue the car theme here this is a man who but probably about 18

months two years ago now i was standing in a queue to pick something up, actually, at our local post office. And I'd parked my car on the other side of the road, opposite. And I was looking at, I just turned around to look at my car and I thought to myself, that guy is reversing very close to my car. And as I continued to watch, he reversed into my car. As if.

So I saw the car, you know, I literally saw the car jolt as he reversed into i thought bloody cheek do i want to give up my place in this queue to go and have a go anyway anyway i won't but he got out of the car and came into the to the place where i was queuing so i thought i can't let him get away with this i said to him excuse me you do know that you just reversed into my car at which point he said to me no i didn't no i said well you did because i stood here and watched you reverse into my car and he said i couldn't have done because i've got a camera one of those reversing cameras and i i was looking at

it and i definitely didn't see myself reversing into your car so i couldn't have done in other words this is a man who would rather believe an inanimate object than he would a woman who was who was owning the car that he had bumped into and who was witnessing him across the road this was one of those in the end i was just sort of so gobsmacked by his behavior and the car wasn't really damaged i didn't take it any further but i just sort of thought as if you can use that yeah and just point so there was no damage to the car wasn't really damaged. I didn't take it any further, but I just sort of thought, oh, arrogant. As if you can use that, yeah. So there was no damage to the car? No.

Okay, all right, that's fine. I can't claim that he, no, no. No, yeah. But the fact that he said, I was looking at a camera, surely he felt it. He must have done because my car, I mean, it wasn't a very heavy car, but my car moved. So he must have felt it, but wasn't willing to,

you know, oh, God, man up, mate. Say sorry. Just to say, OK, I'm sorry that I did do that. Is there anything I can do? But let that be a lesson to you. If you've got those reversing cameras, I haven't, but if you've got those reversing cameras on your car, you can't always trust them.

Trust the woman who watched it. Don't trust the camera. I think you are actually being too trusting of the man in saying that he was looking at his camera. I think he probably felt it and he was just making out. He was just bull. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

I think you might be right, James. Actually, I'm going back to Abib. How big is your town? Go and find this guy. Drive around until you see his car and let him know. As if. Yeah. It's a sort of like mini Jeremy Clarkson type.

You can see the style of person that I don't like. Yes. Well, if his car's got a little camera in it that can see backwards, I'm already picturing the type of person that maybe owns that car. Yeah. Right.

Okay. You're picturing him in right. So the man with the little reversing camera? Yeah. Okay. The man with the little reversing camera. Little reversing camera goes on the island. Okay, lovely.

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arrived i thought this is brilliant you know lovely oh great the trouble with it is it is everywhere yes okay yeah and it is sort of been downgraded. So, you know, I had a salted caramel ice cream or taste of one because I would never choose it the other day. And it was it didn't have any salt in it. And it was just caramel, basically. But it was called salted caramel because you can't just have caramel. Yes. And the biggest monstrosity of all this year.

Do you know? I think it was Marcus and Spencer's, did salted caramel hot cross buns. No. What is that about? No. That is a horrible thing. I can't imagine that flavour. But you name it, you get it in salted caramel.

Ice cream, hot cross buns, cheesecake. Yes. Cake. Yes. But you're right, it now has to say salted caramel. Like before meat, quite obviously you have to put pulled now, right? You're going to have a pulled chicken or a pulled beef, whereas before you could just happily have chicken.

Which basically means you've cooked it so much that it's fallen into those stringy bits that it's really, really difficult to swallow unless you're taking a big load of drink at the same time. Yeah, that's it, yeah, okay. Salted caramel. So what I will say is just I will have anything that's sweet. Offer me anything that is sweet and I will have it. Including salted caramel.

Including salted caramel. Although I have to be honest, it's not going to be my first choice. You know, like I've tried it before, but I think it is quite rich. Do you think it's coming to the end of its time, salted caramel? Is it on the way down or is it still on the way up i think like pulled pork people have had enough you know used to be there's a um there's a restaurant around the corner i won't name any names but they do pulled pork sandwiches it used to be the case they were queued around the street i don't know why i'm comparing it to pulled pork just a fad food um queuing around the street and now you can go in and you can get a table any time of day because it's over i feel like salted caramel is almost there yeah right because you can get a table any time of day because it's over. I feel like salted caramel is almost there. Yeah. Right, because you can get a salted caramel hot cross bun,

which sounds disgusting. Salted caramel latte. Salted caramel latte. Why not have a coffee latte? I'm so old school. Or just a caramel latte. You don't need anything. You don't need any salt.

Yeah, that's it. Okay. Salted caramel. Well, it's your island, and so salted caramel goes on. And what's going to be your drink choice? Cider. Cider. Cider.

Honestly, what? The thing about cider is, it is either that gruesome... You know, in the good old days, we used to have... Funny enough, it was one of the first alcoholic drinks I ever had because my mum's family came from Hereford, where obviously there's Bulma's and quite a lot of cider. And they used to, before the meal, my granddad used to have a bit of Strongbow cider.

And I used to have a little sip of it and think, oh, that's really quite nice. Now, of course, you've got either this like horrible fruit flavoured stuff, which is like a down market Alka-Pop, if that's possible. You know, what do you want to put cherry in cider for? It's disgusting. Or, you know, you've got the equivalent of, you know, I like beer and I like real ale, but this whole real cider thing scrumpy i mean it's like some west country farmer has wrung out his wet underwear into a big barrel it's cloudy it's got a weird taste to it what is in it who knows and you know so at either end of the cider spectrum

it's horrible yeah i wonder we decide morris johnson there or cider okay uh okay cider yeah i know what you mean those those ones that are like uh like um uh specific brands that are just like an alcopop like it's got too many berries in yeah do you know i mean it's like oh it's blueberry and cherry flavor and then when you taste it it's just so sweet with the cloudy cider as well it's just it just tastes like petrol or something. Do you know what I mean? I've never tasted petrol, but I can imagine it's as bad as petrol. I think if you weren't drinking it,

those farmers would be putting it on their fields to kill the weeds. Salted caramel cider. I can see it coming. Mark my words. Somewhere or another, someone is working on salted caramel cider. I'm almost tempted to Google now. I bet it exists. It almost definitely exists. Actually, I did see a to salted caramel cider. I'm almost tempted to Google now. I bet it exists. It almost definitely exists.

Actually, I did see a toffee apple cider. There you go. That's practically it. It's quite close. Yeah. Okay, cider. Yes. So you said it was one of the first drinks that you had.

One of the first alcoholic drinks you remember having. It's making... What? You're making me sound like, you know, some old tramp down there some teenager we all did it jackie now this was before my park bench days this was my sort of like really young days what was that

mag dog 2020 was the park bench days no okay uh cider at the time i imagine cider was a lot nicer to drink in at the time like in the olden days before all of these modern ciders salted caramel it was um i mean it was it was my first drink so you know it was it was because you know when you're like really young you don't like beer um i used to drink i'm, I'm sounding like an alky child. So my parents will be taken, I'll be taken away from my parents. I used to occasionally have, you know, a bit of red wine with water in it. But the thing I really used to like was a little sort of like centimetre in the bottom of a glass of cider. This is when I was, this like was when I was sort of 10 or 11.

Really? Okay, wow. Parents, do not do this. Just don't give your kids alcohol. Very liberal in the Smith household. It's all right, it hasn't done me any harm. Yes, okay. Very healthy relationship with alcohol. Okay, I've made a note there.

I'm drinking water. Tell your listeners I'm drinking water. I've not slipped any dodgy cider on them. Brilliant. Okay, so cider. Cider's going to bring you a drink choice. And Jackie, fortunately for you, you won't be without entertainment on the island.

The plane's entertainment system continues to work, but just your luck, it only has two working settings. One is your least favourite film of all time and the other is your least favourite song. What are they and why? So my least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song what are they and why so my least favorite film is titanic titanic yeah i know it's massively popular biggest blockbuster of all time or something is it is it it probably it may well be yes i mean i certainly know plenty of people who've watched it and i've you know i've watched it i hated it i mean buddy ella you know the ending before you started watching it you know the whole thing is just like a downward depressing slide onto that

door because you know how it ends down onto that door it's not going to it's not going to end well and um you know people are getting locked down below I don't like disaster movies and I don't like I sound like a sort of control freak I wonder why that is but I hate movies that are full of disaster

and chaos and it makes me very tense and in that one I have to say I love Kate Winslet and I love Leo DiCaprio these are brilliant actors but there's just something about this film that I find really irritating and you know it is partly knowing what's coming

it's partly I just don't find the story just frustrating because everything goes wrong and then it ends with that sort of let him come on the door for goodness sake why are you why is he in the water and you're surviving? It's a very big door, isn't it? It's a huge door.

It's a huge door. Why can't they not both fit on there? We've got six or seven people on there. Couldn't save the family. She's going, she's on there on her own. What you didn't see beforehand is her batting people off. It's all me. It's all me um so uh you know who knows they could

be you know rose what's her name rose is it yeah rose yeah rose and him jack jack jack and rose could end up on my desert island having sort of floated there from the wreckage of the of the titanic um and perhaps they could convince me that Titanic is not such a terrible film. Okay, wow. And they'd maybe be being paid to promote it and do that. You said at the beginning it was like a downward slide

on that door from the beginning to the end. If anyone from Universal Studios is listening, that could be the ride, couldn't it? You get on a giant door and you just slide through to the end of the Titanic. And I hope there's nobody, you know, I probably, before I said this, I should probably have said spoiler alert shouldn't i you know just in

case there's anybody in the whole world that goes to see titanic it goes bloody hell jackie smith's given the end away headline jackie smith gives away the ending of titanic um yeah i've never thought of it like that but i don't, unless someone's ruined the ending for me, oh, I know, I suppose that's not true, if you've seen Dunkirk. What I was going to say is, you go in knowing how it's going to end, so it's never going to be bright.

I mean, actually, you see, I love Dunkirk. I thought that was a great film. That is a great film, yeah. It's a different film. Sorry. No, I didn't mean it like that. Set me straight, James.

Set me straight. Sorry. I don't know why. I didn't mean it like that. Set me straight, James. Set me straight. Sorry. I don't know why. I didn't mean it like that. How do you feel about the song? I hate it. You hate the song? I hate it.

It was close to being my least favourite song. Yeah. Really? Yeah. No, I can't bear it. I'm not a big Celine Dion fan. It's all a bit sort of that... I don't mind a bit of a ballad,

but that whole sort of big i was thinking about putting a bit in but now i don't have to you don't have to because i've done it um and of course the good thing about it is that nobody can be on a boat without getting their arms out and leaning over the side and pretending they're you know yes it's so true it's so nobody can be on a boat without doing that now but it's all a bit yes okay yeah all right fine okay i know i must be in a tiny minority because as you say this is both a massively popular film and a massively popular song and salted caramel is really a popular flavour so I am like a lot of people drink cider a lot of people drink cider so basically I'm proving myself to be completely

out of touch with the zeitgeist no no but a lot don't you know it's fine I don't like cider either but it's not my podcast it's all about you um okay Titanic great and what's going to be your song choice my song it's a bit similar actually, but I'm sort of showing my age again. Do You Know The Power Of Love by Jennifer Rush. Sometimes I am frightened But I'm ready to learn About the power of love

Of course, yeah. Not the other good one. No, not the other good one. Not the other good one Of course, yeah. Not the other good one. No, not the other good one. Not the other good one. Yeah, the other one. The other one, the Jennifer Rush one. Because it's another sort of big ballady, not quite going anywhere, over-the-top type thing.

And also, I think because it came out around the same time, I am of an age where, you know, they say that the music you will forever remember is that music you hear between the ages of about 14 and 18. Yes. So I was 14 in 1976. Right. So I can remember when punk was new. I can remember when it started. That's exciting.

So that is my sort of... I noticed we're in the studio where Kerrang! Radio is. So a bit of punk and a bit of rock was my sort of thing at that important age. And so this whole Jennifer Rush Power of Love thing was like the absolute opposite of what i was listening to and what i liked okay all right so okay i see what you mean it's like now i listen to a lot of bands and a lot of pops pop stuff i'll turn my nose up at yeah right

because it's the opposite of okay although you see i will um i did turn my nose up at a lot of pop stuff at the time. Yes. But I will now go back and quite enjoy stuff that I turned my nose up at the time. You know, so Mamma Mia and all the ABBA stuff. Right, yes, yes. The Bananarama reunion last year and all of that. Great, great. That's great.

Did you go? Do you know, I had tickets and I had to go and work abroad. So my two sisters went with another of their friends instead of me and my two sisters, which is what it should have been. Oh, that's a shame. What stuff, what punk stuff, what did you like? Oh, well, I was lucky because where I grew up in Malvern, although in some ways it's a sort of small town in Worcestershire,

it was on the circuit for all the good bands at the time. Amazing. So the type of band, so who came to Malvern? I saw the Undertones, I saw the Buzzcocks, I saw The Clash, I saw The Stranglers. Oh, amazing. I didn't see Motorhead, right, because they did come, but they'd been on top of the pops and they were so late

that I had to ring up my mum and dad and say, is it OK if I stay a bit later because they're not here yet? And my mum and dad said, no, it's a school night, you've got to come home. So I never got to... Oh, you were there and you had to go home? I was there and I never got to stay. No way! Oh, wow.

And I wasn't even rock and roll enough to say, no, no, God, I'm staying out, Mum and Dad. I sort of went, all right, then. I was really disappointed, though. As you can see, you know, all those years, 40 years later, I am still smarting from the fact that I didn't get to see Motorhead. Jackie, there were no mobile phones.

You didn't have to check in. You shouldn't have bothered. I was on it. Are you right? I was on a pay phone. Yeah. I could have just said oh sorry ding ding ding

money's running out sorry at the front mosh into mohead yeah as if I was a very good child wow you saw some good gigs though

yeah they were they were brilliant I'm very jealous okay amazing am I right people say there were three Power of Loves released in a short period

of time right so Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Jennifer Rush, and Huey Lewis and the News. Oh, of course. That must have been a bit later, though, Huey Lewis and the News. Yes, so was it just in the 80s? Maybe I get this wrong. Yeah, I think, yeah, the 80s was a whole ten years ago.

It wasn't like just a moment. You were probably born in the 80s, weren't you? I was born in 88, yeah. There you go. I couldn't remember the fact. I didn't know if the fact was they were released within the 80s or within like a year period. I think it was within the 80s.

Within the 80s, okay. I think the two, the Jennifer Rush and the Frankie Goes to Hollywood, I think were released quite close to each other, but I think the Hugh Lewis one was a bit separate. Okay. But, you know, the 80s. All released in the 80s, much like me. That's it.

Okay, Jennifer Rush, Power of Love. Okay. okay but you know all released in the 80s much like me okay jennifer rush power of love okay jackie and finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why it's a snake it's a snake okay well you must get that a lot don't you we've had a few snakes it's very methodical the snake i think because if you're going to be stuck on an island but go for it why the snake i just i just can't stand them i just i'm really scared of them i um uh you know the idea that they will sort of crawl up your trouser leg or you know poison you or i mean you know the rat was a close run thing i have to say but the snake is there's just something about it without any legs and slithering around the place that is all the sort of caricature of everything that you think is scary or that i think is scary in an animal

yes it's probably you know i'm not a great religious person but there's probably something biblical and or freudian yeah maybe maybe not liking a snake it could be yeah i mean they are quite terrifying really and like you know it's quite a bizarre animal did you see that story last week about a snake that ate a pigeon in south london somewhere right it's unbelievable god i've got a place in south london i'm keeping my eyes out when i walk down who's got who put a snake there that is scary it's a python or something right God, I've got a place in South London. I'm keeping my eyes out when I walk down there. Who's got a snake? Who put a snake there? That is scary.

It's a python or something, right? Loads of people have them as pets, don't they? I mean, I've got a very, very good friend who's got a sort of big section of their garage given over to snakes and God knows what else. And then they escape or they get sick of them and then they disappear and you know appear in some south london road or come up your toilet yeah that's the other thing isn't it you

know it occasionally crosses my mind that you will lift the lid of your because it does happen yes yeah you lift the lid of your toilet and there's a bloody snake there yes yeah you can't be too careful yeah well i guess in south l London now, a snake could come up your toilet. Potentially. Who are you hanging about with that's got snakes in their garage? Who are these people? No, it's a good friend of mine. Okay, right.

But lots of people have this keeping reptiles thing. I don't think I could find affection for a reptile. Do you know what I mean? And besides which, you have to keep dead little mice in your freezer, don't you? Yes. And feed them to them. That's quite bizarre as well. You don't want a dead mouse in your freezer.

No, you don't. You might confuse it for the fish fingers. That's right, have a little mouse sandwich. Okay, a snake. Yeah, anything else on snakes before we leave them there? No, that'll do. Okay, snakes go on the island. Thank you so much for coming in jackie

i really appreciate it my pleasure so you mentioned earlier on it's like therapy is it is it people said it's cathartic yeah just let loose okay yeah oh you go relax after this um uh so you mentioned ian a earlier you do uh for the many podcasts do you want to tell people about for the money so ian dale and i um ian is a sort of not no longer a conservative party member but very much a sort of on the right of the political spectrum lbc presenter um has in the past done blogs and all sorts of things and myself have actually been friends for some time now we did a sky newspaper reviews together and we decided just over a year ago that we would start a podcast and it is politics,

a bit of gossip, a bit of smut. Somebody described it as being a bit like Confessions of a Window Cleaner type. Okay. Carry on politics. I think Ian opened the last episode with I like big butts and I cannot lie.

It was Fat Bottom Girls. Fat Bottom Girls. Because he'd been to see some Queen tribute band. Right, okay. Yes, yes. But we have at various points talked about a whole range of smutty things. But we also do, you know,

sort of political discussion of the week. We disagree quite a lot, but we also agree quite a lot. And one of the things that people quite often say about the programme is it's refreshing to hear people who come from different political backgrounds and disagree, but can do it in a friendly way. Because I think at the moment, there's a lot of toxicity in the debate, the political debate, and a lot of sort of personal vitriol and hatred being stirred up and both of us are sort of passionate about politics as a process come at it from different sets of values and ideas but think it's possible to

discuss it in a sort of reasonable way so that's the sort of vibe of the podcast for the many available on all good podcast platforms nice okay very well practiced and jackie if people want to get you on social media where where can they find you? They can find me on Twitter, Jackie underscore Smith one. OK, great. All right, great. I'm too old for things like... I am on Instagram, but I, as my sons keep pointing out to me, Mum, you never post anything, you're really boring.

OK, all right, thanks, guys. Thank you so much, Jackie. My pleasure.