Desert Island Dicks - MAISIE ADAM

Episode Date: May 26, 2020

Comedian and writer Maisie Adam joins us to share who and what she'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island. Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus from Desert Island Dicks. This episode features comedian Maisie Adam via video link from Brighton. Basically, we spoke on Zoom,

but I thought saying video link made it sound a bit more impressive. If you enjoyed this podcast, please subscribe and give us a rating or a review where you get your podcasts. And feel free to tell all your friends and neighbours by shouting it from your open window. And now, here's Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is comedian, actor and writer Maisie Adam. Hello. Hello, how are you Dan?

Not bad, not bad. How's things with you? Yeah good. I feel like this is probably the best time to be doing the Desert Island Dicks podcast because you can really imagine what it's like to be stuck with just one other person whilst we're in in lockdown it's sort of it's made it um it's almost like a method acting way of imagining just normally it's quite a hypothetical situation but now it's like who would be the worst person to trade your boyfriend uh at the moment for to be in lockdown with yeah well at the start of it we did consider changing the podcast to be solely around kind of lockdown and isolation, but exactly the same format. But yeah, we thought in the end we'd just keep it the same.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. At the moment, we're all we're all on our own with people that we have chosen to be on our own. And it's testing. It can be testing at times, whereas to be on like with a with an absolute dick, that's going to be on like with a with an absolute dick that's gonna be i mean i'm i it's still a hypothetical situation but it's actually stressed me out thinking of who i'm gonna pick for this podcast yeah that's the thing so generally i find that there's sort of two camps there's the people who found it difficult to whittle down the amount the number of people they find a dick or there's people who find it just difficult to choose anyone. Which camp were you in, do you think? Oh, definitely the former. Like, there is a plethora of dicks out there. Especially at the moment. It's just...

Can't move for dicks. So it was... It was... The difficulty was trying to select just one. Especially, as I say, now that I actually know what it feels like to be stuck with just one person. And that one person at the moment I'm with is somebody who i who i love very dearly whereas to be with somebody who is just intolerable is going to be um they've got to be a really really big dick okay so solid gold dicks is what we're expecting today platinum dicks great so who's going to be your first choice for the island? So my first choice is Eamon Holmes.

Eamon Holmes. I just think, right, he's been simmering for a while on my sort of dick radar. And only in the like sort of recent, like past few months, have those sort of feelings and gut instincts been confirmed um I've always sort of not really been keen on the um the dynamic that he has when he's on the couch with Ruth presenting I just think he looks constantly like um you know when you go out with your mates and one of them's got a boyfriend who you all think is a dick and you're pretty sure that your mate is aware that you all think they a dick, and you're pretty sure that your mate is aware

that you all think they're a dick. And when that boyfriend comes out with a comment at the pub that is a bit off, like a questionable opinion, I don't know, usually they say something like, I don't know why it's called feminism, it should just be called equalism. As a male feminist, I think we should all be equal, so it should be equalism.

They say something like that, and you can see that your mate is absolutely mortified and terribly embarrassed of being with them. That is the face permanently etched onto Ruth Langsford's face. She constantly looks like her mouth isn't moving, she's not saying anything, but her eyes are going, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. He comes out with this stuff all the time, and I can't stop him. Please help me.

I just watch them going, Ruth, blink twice for help. Blink twice for help. so sorry he comes out with this stuff all the time and i can't stop him please help me it's like i just watched them going ruth blink twice for help blink twice for help she just looks so fed up with him because she seems quite normal she seems quite quite with it and and together and doesn't have too many opinions that are offensive to a whole swathes of people or questionable conspiracy theories but Eamon Holmes oh god he's just awful um he's got sort of a partridge style of presenting in that he'll come out with something that's a little bit did you see his reaction when Philip Schofield came out um when when Philip Schofield came out as gay and um he came out to Holly who obviously he's worked with for ages and she gave him a big hug.

And then Ruth and Eamon came over and Ruth gave him a big hug. And then Eamon sort of just was like, oh, I think he said something like, I always wondered how you managed to be in a hot tub with Holly and not do anything. I mean, if that was me, Ruth would be, you know, digging my eyes out. And you're like, what? What a response. A national treasure bloke who's known as being a family man

has done a really brave thing and come out, he's said he's gay. And you've whittled it down to whether or not he could contain himself when in a hot tub with Holly Willoughby. Oh, that's amazing. Oh, just awful. But at least that stuff, you can go, oh, it's cringey dad. It's cringey dad. It's a bit partridge.

And then I saw on Twitter, I think he has a radio show somewhere. that stuff you can go oh it's cringy dad it's cringy that's a bit partridge and then um i saw on twitter um he i think he has a radio show somewhere on one of those a bit like lbc something like that it might be a different one but he he had this very questionable opinion about megan markle um and i i do think it's only a particular type of person who has those opinions about Meghan Markle, someone that literally has no effect on our lives whatsoever, yet these people choose to take an obscene grudge against her. And he was saying, there's just something about her I don't like. She's full of it.

I've met these types of people in my career. They're fame hungry, they're money hungry. They've got no morals. I've come across them. They're ten a dozen. I can't stand them. And then this woman who he co-hosts with, I think, went, well, I've never met her, so I don't actually know. And he went, oh, no, I've never met her, but there's something about her I just don't like. And at that point, I feel like I and everybody else who was watching it were like, I think we all know what that thing is that you don't like about her. I think we all, I think we can all take a guess,

a stab in the dark what that element about Meghan Markle might be. I've seen her looking nice, smiling at people kindly when they hand her flowers. You can see it all, can't you, just from that. What a cow. Looking elegant in a nice outfit, smiling at a child who gave her a picture. kindly when they hand her flowers you can see it all can't you just from that what a cow looking elegant in a nice outfit smiling as a child who gave her a picture what a bitch honestly honestly a video's recently gone around of megan marco reading her son a kid's book and the comments in that are all just like can you believe this woman can you believe it what a cow i'm like oh

yeah i remember that'd be my first thought when my mum was reading me a book what a bitch what's she trying to get out of me now i just feel so extorted by the way she read going on a bear hunt um i just yeah he's just um he's everything i think wrong in those types of men that are just everywhere apparently that that he's the blokes in the facebook comments he's the blokes who tweet you when you've done absolutely nothing to to annoy them um he's the bloke who i i just suspect he i get big energy that like he maybe orders on behalf of ruth at a restaurant yeah um i just uh i the i just don't know what it is about him

there's just something I've not liked about him I've met ten a dozen people like him in my career and there's something about him I don't like but he would really grate on me I think he'd be I think it's only a matter of time before he gets picked for something like I'm a celebrity because they know that he

he's one of those people who if he has an opinion he will say it regardless of whether or not that is a thought out considered measured opinion that maybe might offend people he'll just say it because that's his right well i can imagine yeah someone on someone getting really offended by something offensive that he says and they storm off and he's like i haven't even said anything i don't wonder what their problem is people are so offended people are so so offended and then the moment somebody criticizes him he has a massive hiss fit about it yeah it's funny because you mentioned this thing quite partridgey about him and in one of the alan partridge books or maybe both of them they sort of mention him quite a lot as sort of one of Alan's mates and it is just spot on, isn't it?

Of course he'd be friends with someone like that. And he's one of those people I always forget about and then I'm like, oh, you're still actually doing all right for yourself. Like, you're doing quite big jobs. And surely there are more people that... Exactly. He's doing so much stuff and you think, well... When you think of the contemporaries in his field of, you know, presenting, there's there's Philip Schofield, who's a who's a funny, witty sort of national treasure. He bounces well with Holly, who he's not married to. I mean, I It is just the energy of like a husband and wife

who are constantly sort of embarrassed. One's embarrassed of the other. They remind me of that couple, you know, in Gavin and Stacey, the ones that are always bickering, Pete and Dawn. Remind me of them. And you look at other contemporary, like Rylan, who's funny, he's different, he offers a different angle on everything.

He's genuinely kind. He can see things from other perspectives. He offers a new, fresh look at it. I just don't think Eamon Holmes is the voice representing most of us anymore. I just think, why him? Why not just give it to some up-and-coming presenter who doesn't sit there embarrassing his wife throughout the whole thing?

It's a bit of a tired trope as well, having a husband and wife present where the wife can only get a word in edgeways. I feel like when I watch them, I go back into the 1950s. Yeah, and it seems like none of these shows that he's doing are going to be, I mean, they're all big enough that he's getting paid quite well for these things. So they could just save so much money

by not having Eamon Holmes and just getting anyone else who's a bit younger and cheaper as well into the bargain. I wonder if it's just that thing of purposely putting someone on. It's like a sort of soft Piers Morgan where, you know, you get someone on who's obviously going to put his foot in his mouth quite a lot and then you can get publicity by going

guess you know listeners are outraged at what this guy said today and maybe it's just that does your advertising for you or something that's frustrating if that is the case that they get him on there for that sort of uh spicy spicy opinion um i, I know that another one who's been coming under fire for being so partridge in his questions is Richard Madeley, who again is part of a husband and wife thing. But I at least feel like them two

are on a level playing field and they kind of come at things from the same angle. And that Richard Madeley is probably sometimes a bit partridge in his questions, but isn't frustratingly bigoted in them. And at no point do you look at Judy

and she's sort of staring blankly down the camera. Do you remember that viral video of Ben Affleck staring down and it started playing Hello Darkness, My Old Friend as he stared at his face? That is what Ruth Langsford looks like every time she's sat next to Eamon Holmes. I think she goes to a different place in her head when he speaks. I think she goes back to a summer romance she had

when she was 20 years old with a man who actually let her speak and actually had the time of day to give her and didn't come out with questionable opinions that you know you're going to have to defend because you're his wife later on yeah he's i just think he's going to be difficult on the island he's going to sort of he's going to very much say okay well the fish has been caught come on ladies you you get to cooking this is the thing if he went on i'm a celeb he would 100 be the person being like so so shall the ladies maybe cook the cook the dinner um you guys go and clean the toilet and get the get the water i'll stay here

in the hammock and make sure nobody nobody i'll just delegate the rules that's what i'll do i'll make sure that everyone's doing their job and you're all thanks so much amy you're so helpful and then he'll complain about about the food he'll be like, it's quite tough, it's not very tender. It could do with more seasoning. I can imagine him having quite specific opinions about the quality of the food, but also having quite a bad palate. So sort of being very specific about what he liked and not liked,

but also kind of being very fussy. He'd only actually, unless it's red meat doused in salt, he's not interested. Yeah, you know what, until we started speaking, I didn't realise how annoying I found him. And I think that's maybe part of his thing, you just sort of forget about him and he seems quite neutral, but then he can come out with these barbs and maybe that's what makes him so dangerous. You kind of don't really realise until you start listening to him. You can see him as quite a cuddly playful figure I think he uses that whole like oh I'm just uh everybody's silly

dad that comes out with a little opinion but I'm quite a huggable teddy bear and I'm absolutely I'm absolutely harmless you know no you're not you're you're really bigoted and you shouldn't have the level of the platform that you have and you should let your wife have an opinion from time to time and stop talking over her well you made a very good case for Eamon Holmes there so he's going on the island with you um who would be your second choice uh again I feel like this one is quite um uh current um and it's probably he wasn't I'll be honest really on my radar before this whole lockdown uh kicked into place certainly not on my radar on the level that he is at the moment um and it's not now I I uh I really start to tear my hair out when he comes on the telly because I know that a it's never good

news and b when someone's got to deliver bad news you want somebody who can at least be trusted with that job and at least deliver it in a way that goes okay that doesn't sound great at least there's a plan um or at least you sound confident about it and that it's you're going to acknowledge that it's bad but then you're going to uh see it how you can address it. And Matt Hancock is probably the worst person at that ever, that we've ever, ever had. He's just, like, laughably, I mean, not laughably, because the situation is so serious, but to the point where you go, this is almost like a parody.

This is like a joke uh briefing of how badly you're doing it yeah it feels like that for a while now i keep thinking this shower of people this can't get worse than this and then the next bunch move in and it's almost like a kind of a wall got broken down and then a clown car comes in with another bunch of clowns and then when you think that's bad enough another barrier is knocked down and another fresh group of even sillier clowns comes in. It's just it's just mad. And he sort of first came on my radar in the rounds on Twitter of a female Conservative canvasser was talking about how she was going to go out

and persuade people to vote. And she was doing it on behalf of Matt Hancock. And he was literally standing so close and over her. It was like a parrot on her shoulder. And it was so uncomfortable to watch um it was the only ever time that it's acceptable to tower over and be right behind someone as they're speaking like that is when they're about three years old and you're their parent and you're going what do you say to grandma say thank you for your present that kind of thing

like it's not appropriate when you're a grown adult and one of them is working for you. It looked like he was holding a gun to her. But do you notice I was concerned for her welfare. I was like, is she saying these things out of choice or is there a gun in her lower back there? Yeah, very threatening. He sort of has the vibe of someone who kind of runs

like a branch of sort of mid-level um supermarkets but not like one of the big four not like a Sainsbury's that you get you know sometimes you go on holiday you might be up north and there's like a chain of supermarkets you've never heard of before like a netto yeah and they're just sort of quite big across a certain like he'd manage maybe be a regional manager of one of those sort of supermarkets he would be like in the tie every day he'd have a big desk of like employee of the month thing behind him like he lives for that job and runs it as if he is the health secretary but the reason it's he's a regional magic manager is because that's the limit of his abilities. Somehow it has become the other way and Matt Hancock is actually in that position

yet only has the competence of somebody who could run a regional supermarket, not the health and welfare of the entire country. It's just, he's just very, very uneasy, very unsympathetic as well it's so inhuman um the way he answers questions is i mean i know it's it's sort of an old trope of all politicians really and that they answer questions by saying nothing but he really has perfected that art of being able to speak for five minutes and not say anything um and often if there's a complaint it's a i'm sorry you feel that way which is just like the most infuriating response because yeah

like that's not how you deal with it you deal with it by accepting that that's how somebody feels and saying what you're going to do to change it and it. And it's just infuriating watching him. I kind of think for these people, having social distancing must be such a relief for them where journalists can only come at them on a screen one by one and have a vetted question. It must just be an absolute dream for people like him. He would be absolutely buggered

if they were still allowing the press in en masse to those rooms, to those conferences. He'd be absolutely buggered if they were still allowing the press in en masse to those rooms to those conferences he'd be absolutely buggered and again i think just someone on the island along with who's going to talk a lot and do very little or sort of take credit for things that have happened or you know skew a result or something do you watch brook-Nine? I'm always meaning to get round to it, but I haven't. There's two police officers in that precinct who are just always there,

but are hopeless. You couldn't ask them to post a letter. If you asked them to post a letter together, they would manage to balls it up. Scully and Hitchcock. They are just awful. That would be Eamon Holmes and Matt Hancock on this island. They would somehow bugger up everything,

yet complain about everything that everybody else has done. They'd be useless. The only thing that they would contribute are questionable opinions and infuriating responses. Yeah, no, that's going to be very antagonising, definitely. And I think as well, he'd probably sort of regale you with lots of stories of his successes that you knew to be false but he would sort of say this reminds me like the time we handled the covid19 catastrophe so well and you'd be like you didn't what what and then they'd just sort of ignore you and carry on telling you

how great they were saying it was was all started by Meghan Markle. Oh, man, that's another thing, actually, jumping back to Eamon Holmes. Yeah, the conspiracy theories as well. You have to deal with all of that as well. He, Defo, would have some interesting opinions about 9-11 and coronavirus. Probably a bit of a flat earther. Yeah, like the gall of somebody to go on This Morning

and criticise the mainstream media. It's like, oh, yeah, you tell them, Eamon, live from the This Morning studio. You're so against the system. Yeah, this is a guerrilla news hound. Yeah. Well, you've made a very good case for both of those. And I'm very much looking forward to finding out

who your final dick will be. OK, so my final dick i thought from what i've seen in these as again i tried to imagine the most similar scenario to being stranded on a desert island and that is aside from lockdown what i've seen in shows that try to replicate that like i'm a celebrity and like big brother where you're cooped up together and somebody who has featured on both of these programs and both of the times has been exceptional entertainment value but horrific to be cooped up with uh it was a toss-up between Gemma Collins and this person but I actually think Gemma Collins I could maybe get some level on board with and at least enjoy some of the company of her. However, this person I just think would do my nutting.

And it's Kim Woodburn off of How Clean Is Your House fame. Oh, yes, yes. So she used to do that programme, How Clean Is Your House, Kim and Aggie. No one knows what happened to Aggie, but the more I have seen of Kim and her personality, I'm pretty sure Aggie is dead. Yeah.

Disappeared under suspicious circumstances. Last person to see them alive, Kim Woodburn. I'm just putting it out there. Well, she'd probably have enough very strong cleaning things around the house to dissolve her in a bath. Yes. Yeah, Breaking Bad style. Yeah, and she was the smaller one dissolve her in a bath. Yes, yeah, Breaking Bad style. Yeah, and she was the smaller one, so easily disposable of.

But before I get into digging myself a legal hole and end up being sued by Kim Woodburn for attempted murder claims. But I just think she's incredibly entertaining on these shows because she will pick a fight with anybody. Whereas, say, somebody like Eamon Holmes in that situation will have probably said something controversial and someone who's quite reasonable would have gone, actually, Eamon, I don't think that's fair for you to say that

and call them out on it. Kim Woodburn, I think you could go, I'm just going to go to the loo. And she'd go, oh, oh, I bet you are. I bet you are, lovey. And suddenly there'd be this whole debate on how she thinks you go to the loo more than anybody else and therefore using all the toilet paper. And therefore it's your fault that there's no toilet paper. And therefore maybe you were the cause of coronavirus because that's what load a load of people to run out of toilet paper. And it would just snowball. She has this immense ability to pick up on the most minute thing someone has said. And it blow up and it doesn't just blow up into like a little level headed debate debate of well i hear what you're saying but

here's my opinion it is always a plate smashing glass throwing hurling of abuse shouting from the other end of the the the the camp or the the the big brother house hurling of abuse at each other um and i've seen it be on people who are equally as aggressive and it becomes just like a like two monkeys in a zoo throwing food at each other and i've seen it be on somebody who's quite passive and they just stand there in shock like they're watching some sort of firework display from a safe distance yeah she's she's such an extraordinary figure i mean she always sort of looks like i always feel like she's invented she's almost like a soap character sort of bet lynch leopard print head to toe bleach blonde hair and some very very sassy opinions brilliant entertainment but a

nightmare to be around she sort of looks like she'd go oh you know meet my sister miss trunchbull or something you know it's that sort of like it's it's like she's a cartoon come to life isn't she she could be a Roald Dahl character easily yeah yeah like she adopts you and then you know it's a terrifying place to live because she's mental and everything is so clean and nothing can ever be clean enough you know yeah I find um I mean I'm currently talking to you uh in a properly filthy kitchen at the minute it's like if I turn the screen the other way you'd see how much crap there is on my worktop um so I'm you know I'm obviously not going to get along with her anyway but I think there's something suspicious of people who are like you know you get like influencers now like cleanliness influencers and they just take pictures of their bedroom and you just and i'm like where's all your stuff like

where right where is where is anything that you would need to live with i mean did you take this picture when you moved in or something they always have one white cabinet in the whole room and you're like well hang on what so that's got all of your stuff that needs hanging up and stuff that needs folding where are your shoes like where are your uh you know where's your bag from today where's the stuff that you're currently working on and it's it's not it's too important to be put away it needs to be kept out so you keep working on it where's all of that it's just you've just got a cactus plant or a bonsai tree and a record player and then white sheets. That's all that's in your hat. It's very strange that. Yeah. Yeah. And so I sort of just think anyway, I mean, she's kind of the figurehead of that movement, really, isn't she?

Yeah. She's the sort of the, you know, the dominant matriarch who who started that thing of just everyone being terrible. I mean, obviously, we're living in a time where we do need to be quite careful about germs and wash our hands a lot. So I'm not saying that's ridiculous, but, you know, there's a point about how many times a week... It's starting to sound very Eamon Holmes now. Yeah. Well, I mean, of course, it's all 5G anyway, isn't it?

No, but, you know, there's a point at which, like, it just goes beyond normal cleanliness and gets to a sort of weird level of... Yeah. On the island, she would have a go at you just for fetching water and not like... She'd be like, well, you need to have a disinfected water bottle to do that.

You'd be like, yeah, I don't know if you've noticed, Kim, but we're on an island. We don't have disinfectant. So I'm just going to go and collect water in this big water bottle that we've got. And she'd still pick a fight with you about that because you didn't get it fresh or from the tap or something it would be something that is so out of possibility yet

she'd still choose to pick a fight about it and i can just imagine this sort of wrapping your knuckles with the ruler like where do you even get that from on a plane but she's got like rulers somehow definitely and all three of these people kim wood Woodburn, Matt Hancock and Eamon Holmes, are definitely the type of people who, if they discovered stuff in the wreckage of the plane, like a big food trolley, they would not alert it to the group. They would keep it to themselves, 100%. Yeah. No, I agree.

I think, I mean, it's a very, what's the word, combustible sort of selection you've picked, I think. That's what I mean by actually, I picked them last night and I actually stressed myself out imagining being with those three people. One at a time was horrific enough. But to be on an island with Kim Woodburn, Matt Hancock and Eamon Holmes, I, oh my lord. I should say for the listener's benefit, you are looking quite pained as you describe each of these people. So pained, so pained. I had to pour a wine just to sort of calm down from researching these three people.

Well, now we've got a good excuse to have a glass of wine after we finish recording. So, I mean, it swings and roundabouts. Okay, well well I'll distract you temporarily from these people because mercifully amongst the wreckage of the plane there was some food and drink left over unfortunately for you it's your least favorite food and drink in the world what are they and why are they so bad okay I feel like this is actually going to be controversial because they're probably widely liked by most of the listeners. The food is hummus or pesto spread on bread.

It's not an enjoyable thing. I wish everybody could grow up and stop pretending hummus is an enjoyable food. The same goes for pesto. Oh, should we put pesto in our pasta? Should we spread it on some bread? No, no. Same goes for pesto. Oh, should we put pesto in our pasta? Should we spread it on some bread? No, no. If I see one more pita bread with hummus or pesto, I will explode.

Pesto is disgusting. The texture of it is like little chopped up bits of grass that somehow manage to make a smell of sort of gone off food. Its colour in it is like something, something again out of a roald dahl mood like adaptation of a of a book in that it's green and snotty and horrific and it's somehow supposed to count as like the main aspect of a meal they'll go oh pesto spread on something that's not a meal put cheese on toast put put chocolate spread on it put jam on toast put something actually enjoyable hummus well the most infuriating thing for me as you can probably tell by how much i've overreacted to this question i've done a proper kim woodburn here you've asked me a very normal

question and i'm going 10 out of 10 aggressive on it but it really annoys me is when we have beautiful weather like this obviously not in a lockdown and you and your mates go oh should we have a barbie should we have a barbecue should we go and have a picnic and you all bring great stuff you're somebody brings crisps and you'll bring some beers and you'll bring um uh sort of like a snacks of you know the mini sausages or the the mini flapjacks all of that sort of thing some biscuits and then some idiot brings carrot sticks and hummus. And at that point, I make a mental note of who they are so I remember not to get them a present at Christmas.

Yeah, it's one of those things I think I've learned to like. Like when you first try hummusmus you kind of think this isn't that fun and then over time because it's so ubiquitous you kind of get used to it but I think actually I mean there's always a more interesting dip right next to it that you could use there are also two things hummus and pesto that um they both have this in common in that the people who enjoy them wear that like some sort of personality trait you never get people mentioning hummus flippantly you never get people going um i made pesto the other night it was all right it's always i make the best pesto i'm just gonna let you know how

good my pesto is have you watched my instagram where i do a tutorial on making pesto i don't want to see you making green slime it's not important to me hummus is like nuts made into a into a smoothie what kind of psychopath makes that and he's like oh that'll be a fun thing to put on bread and enjoy yeah i think both things feel like something that was made by people who didn't have much else around. A hundred percent. They are staple foods of people with a very small personality. They are making up for something.

And if you have a personality that can only be made up by banging on about pesto or hummus, you need to take a long, hard look at yourself and maybe go to an island with Eamon Holmes, Kim Woodburn and Matt Hancock. That's the only place you belong if you're enjoying hummus and pesto. Well, I mean, you live in Brighton as well, and I lived in Brighton for about eight years. And I mean, that's a real hummus hotspot, isn't it? Oh, I'm surrounded by it.

If I walk from my house to the beach beach i'm just batting away hummus flatbread uh falafel that's all it is listen i'm not one of those that's like oh vegans all they eat is rubbish no there's some lovely options out there really really good i've come up i've just come back from australia where the best burger I had all month was a vegan burger. Brilliant burger. So why do you then choose to make life hard for yourself and enjoy all these awful, awful foods as the staple of your dinner? Yeah, there's too many beans in there. And also, I mean, one of the ingredients of hummus is tahini, which is like a sort of sesame seed paste, I think. I know people who just eat that on toast and that's not even hummus is tahini which is like a sort of sesame sesame seed paste i think i know people

who just eat that on toast and that's not even hummus that's like a building block of hummus i mean that that to me is insane it's it's just awful it's just awful and and i'd love to sit here and go i don't like it's not for me but i'm sure there's lots of sound people out there who do enjoy it i've never met one every person i know who was brought up out of nowhere pesto or hummus and banged on about it has been someone that deserves to be on this island you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from lips and ads choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows

to reach your target audience with Lips and Ads. Go to lipsandads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. And what would you wash it down with? What would be your drink choice? Right. So I love a drink and i uh i'm more of a beer girl myself i love a lager i'll have a white wine i'll have a rose one thing i cannot

stomach i'll have shots i'll have spirit mixers one thing i can't stomach is red wine and i can't do it and um i hate that it's somehow got this reputation as like the most sophisticated drink. Like that's when you go to wineries, that's the one that they're always putting in your hand going, have you enjoyed this wine? Wineries are always in lovely hot places, right? And the beautiful scenery.

On a hot day, when I've walked around this tour, on a hot day, I'd walked around this tour on a hot day i'd like a cold cold chilled drink you know i'd want a nice cold white wine or i'd like a a cool rum and coke something cold to enjoy in this lovely hot day i don't want a room temperature red drink that's going to stain matt it's not going to cool me down. I'm not going to feel cool for drinking it. It's just a red drink that stains your lips and your teeth and they all taste the same.

And there's this whole sort of culture around which ones go with which foods and which ones have got which aftertaste and stuff. But let's be honest it's a room temperature drink what other drinks do you know that are room temperature and classed as good well yeah i was speaking to someone about this recently it feels like a real cop out like you haven't even you're right nothing is good that's at room temperature either it should be warmer or cooler but it feels really weird to just go, yeah, just whatever. When you have a wine, when you have your friends around,

you get a wine out the fridge, a white wine, and it's a proper thing to crack open. Champagne, you pop it open. It's exciting and it's chilled. It's cold and it's in a tall glass. Red wine is always just at the side. Or if you're a bit wanky, it's's in a in a wine glass what's it called a decanter no where you do the things that you just store wine sideways in what are they oh like a

wine rack a wine rack thank you a wine rack see this is this is the even them annoying me the fact that you've you're meant to store this room to a wine shelf if it's if it's so good that it must be stored sideways why does why is it still not good enough that it gets that it's only at room temperature if something isn't good enough to that it needs to be kept in the fridge or it needs to be kept uh warm then i'm not going to go out of my way to keep it sideways yeah there's lots of weird things i do i mean i generally am not a particularly fussy person when it comes to food and drink and i do like red wine but recently i find i don't know if i've just been kidding myself for years but recently i think that

it all just tastes the same suddenly and i'm sure it didn't used to and i wonder if it's now the veil has slipped slightly and i've kind of gone wait a minute maybe this is bullshit and the thing that's starting to really annoy me is when like they've suddenly they've managed to sort of persuade everyone that it's okay for the product not always to be the same so you buy one bottle of wine and then you try and find it again and you go oh it's a different year but that can't make too much difference right and it's completely different and you think how come every other food and drink manufacturer gets it right every time in any country in the world and they've just gone right from the start we're like no no that's the beauty and they try to sell that as a good thing

as a pro they go oh yeah that's the beauty of it is they could be just 2020 no i don't want it to be different every time i want to find one that i like and then stick with that imagine if you had now you know you you tried oh, I quite like Diet Coke. It's better than the normal Coke. Then you go and get Diet Coke next time and it tastes like vanilla Coke. No. It's completely unacceptable. And I want it as well on the record, just to say,

it's not like I'm against this whole process of distilling and all that. I love that. My boyfriend's a cocktail bar manager. We've gone round loads of distilling and all that that i love that my boyfriend's a cocktail bar manager we've gone around uh loads of distilleries and like vodka ones we went on a cognac one recently very interesting and crucially they all of that hard work creates that same taste for every single person that tries it and it's something that should be enjoyed with some ice in that lovely hot uh country surroundings and and you have it in a short glass with some ice in that lovely hot country surroundings. And you have it in a short glass with some ice and it's beautiful.

Again, we've done the vodka one and we learned all about how it makes this exceptional type of vodka that should be enjoyed either on its own, chilled with ice or mixed with certain spirits or put into a cocktail to make something exceptional. Red wine, if the best you can do about it is say, keep it on its side and then pour it into a glass at room temperature. It's so unremarkable. I'm sorry. It's such an overrated drink and it doesn't taste nice even at the end of it.

Yeah, I'm with you. I mean, like I said, I like it, but I just more and more I'm kind of losing my patience for it because I just, I don't, you know, if you've had a hard day and you think, oh, I'm going to get some booze. Do you know what? It's Friday night. I'm going to spend a bit more today and I'll buy something really nice.

But it's such a lottery. You just kind of go, well, I could be just like throwing my money away or it might be quite nice. We might just taste the same as all the others. I'm just getting fed up of it it's also one of the only drinks that you can tell someone has had because it affects their breath so badly like if somebody at a wedding comes up to you and they've been on the gin and tonics they're just they're just they're no different in their how they're drunk to if they've had a white wine nobody comes up to you with gin and tonic breath

and you're like oh jesus somebody comes up to you after too much red wine that you can smell it a mile off and they've got a tongue that looks like a horse's tongue when it's all black it's disgusting yeah it's so drying as well isn't it exactly exactly and should a drink be drying that's the question you have to ask yourself that's that's the question you exactly and should a drink be drying that's the question you have to ask yourself that's that's the question you've got should a drink be drying you are on a desert island here's a drink that will make you more thirsty than you were before you wanted the drink yeah it's full of contradictions it's always made the same but it's always tasting different it's wet but it makes your mouth dry it's uh yeah it's absolute rubbish

yeah well you've definitely uh hammered in a couple more nails into my coffin of my wine enjoyment and uh and i think that's fine um now uh maisie fortunately you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes entertainment system continues to work but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song what are they and why okay so the film is one that my boyfriend showed me recently um we've been doing this thing in lockdown where it's his choice one night my choice the next okay some films that he's seen that i haven't some films that i've seen that he hasn't and he put this film on and there's been films that he's put on that i think yeah they're really good some way i think not for me he put this film on and it was the only one where within

sort of half an hour i was like i actually can't watch any of this anymore. It's so dull. It's so dull. And I feel like the moment I say it, it's going to cause a lot of uproar because I think I am in the minority with this because I read up on it afterwards and it was nominated for Best Picture amongst a lot of other Oscar things. It's got a strong cast

and it's meant to be something that keeps you on the edge of your seat from beginning to end. All of the reviews are like it is just adrenaline from the word get go uh the film is mad max fury road right okay yeah now this film is essentially about one long car journey but the car journey is a is loud from the get-go uh so therefore you never actually a sort of drawn in it's just you know like if somebody comes into a room shouting at you and then shouts at you for the for another like 10 minutes that shouting is a lot less effective by like minute seven than it would have been if they'd have come in, asked you stuff, and then warmed up to it.

And by the end, they were absolutely furious. There's no crescendo because it comes in at that level. I also think one of the worst styles ever to curse this planet, this godforsaken planet, we've had some awful looks in the whole of human history and existence. But I think one of the worst ones is steampunk. I don't get it.

It's just awful. It's a dire look. And this is predominantly the outfits in Mad Max. It's meant to be in the future, but there's nothing really that suggests that. It's meant to be the future, but it would just be easier to go, no, this isn in the future but like there's nothing really that suggests that like it's meant to be the future but it it's it would just be easier to get no this isn't the future this is a different reality let's let's call this what it is this is a fantasy this is like lord of the rings all over

again it's silly it's non-existent um it's just i i said to my boyfriend, because I did come back, I felt bad because it's the first one that I've given up on. And I could tell it was a film he really liked. So the next night I said, look, let's give it another go. And I watched the whole thing, hoping every single minute that went by, this is where it will change. This is where something interesting will actually happen. And it didn't um and i said my main problem with it is that it sort of seems the creation of a of a mid-puberty hormone-filled teenage boy in that um they are so full of of of sex-driven hormones uh and and cars and loud things uh that they've just sort of spunked out this film.

And it's sort of an impulsive answer to all of the questions of, who's the leading man? Tom Hardy, because he's hard and he's attractive and he's everything I want to be. And then, okay, well, what about a leading lady? Okay, Charlize Theron, who's amazing, by the way, an incredible actress, but in this has maybe 10 lines and is an incredibly 2D character and then she she clears off the only other characters

are a selection of models who are not known for acting they're known for modeling and dating Jason Statham it's it's awful. The whole film is orange. There's no other colours. It's just orange, orange, orange. It's just like watching a fake tan of prepubescent, spunk-filled dreams. It's really strange. There's no arc to it.

It's just loud, loud, loud, loud. Orange, orange, orange. Hot women. That's the other thing. Their first scene is just all of these models in tight white T-shirts that are drenched from the sweat of the orange landscape that they find themselves in.

It's dire. And this whole journey just keeps going on and on and on and on. You think, OK, well, what happens when they get there? I couldn't even tell you what happens at the end because it was so underwhelming and boring um i it was just an infuriating experience watching that film as you can probably tell i'm having flashbacks to it now it's awful and and i i'm clearly in the minority because i was so in shock afterwards i thought that was terrible and i looked up my boyfriend was going it's not it's not it's brilliant it's really good I thought right I'm gonna look up the film and I was looking through its wikipedia to find those you know

those awful reviews to get to the reception bit of the wikipedia where it goes it was panned you know by critics slammed by saying it was awful it was like 98% on Rotten Tomatoes. It was nominated for these Oscars. It was, apparently all the effects are all actually real. They're not special effects, they're real stunts. Oh, good for you. You flipped a car and it was real. Amazing. It's so demoralising, isn't it, when you hated a film

and then you look for people to sort of hate it with or you look for some validation of your opinion and there's nothing and you're like, how, I don't, what? And you just feel so lonely. Yeah, how am I in the minority that this is my opinion? We've only had it once previously with a film and it was the Lord of the Rings trilogy,

which I had never seen. And Mike was like, it's really good. And each film is three hours. So that's nine hours. And there's pretty much no women in it. Like I'd say of those nine hours, there's maybe 20 minutes of a woman on screen. All of the blokes characters are,

like I wasn't rooting for anybody in there um i didn't believe any of the sort of what i know it's fantasy but i didn't believe it but ultimately my issue with it is that the plot line is that across nine hours of film across three big stories it is essentially a group of men slowly binning a ring. That is the premise of it. And with Mad Max, it is essentially one long testosterone-fuelled car journey, which for me is something that absolutely needs to be on a desert island away from it. That is my worst nightmare, is to be on a film that is a testosterone-fuelled car journey. Yeah. It does feel like... I mean, I watched it on a film that is a testosterone-fuelled car journey. Yeah.

It does feel like... I mean, I watched it on a plane, so all my opinions of the film are kind of slightly moot because God knows what happens to your brain when you watch films on a plane. I was just happy to be going on holiday. But it sort of feels like it was a load of guys after Burning Man Festival came together and sketched it out like their dream.

It was sort of like after a particularly heavy Burning Man, they sketched that film out. You hit the nail on the head there. You know, and that sort of leaves a bad taste. You know, even though I remember enjoying it, there is that whiff of like, yeah, I don't know. It's a bit, you know, there are people that dress like that in real life now. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's done no, you know, there are people that dress like that in real life now. Absolutely, absolutely. It's done no good for society, has that film. Only bad. It's only caused damage.

Well, you've argued it so eloquently, I'm not left with that much to come back at it with. But you've certainly given me pause for thought. And what would your song choice be? So the song is Give Me Everything by Pitbull featuring Neo. This song is about 10 years old now. And it came out at what was the peak for Pitbull, also known as Mr. Worldwide. He was sort of in this, I don't know if you remember, but he was in this sort of three year stint of just whacking out any old song. And it would be massive um and it was at the time

of when i was like first going out all the time and so it was in every club in every bar everyone was playing on the radio mr like pitbull was everywhere he was mr worldwide uh as was neo the reason this song though for me has such awful connotations is first of all it's not a great song in his first bearing in mind this bloke is a professional rapper his one job is to rap his opening line um rhymes kodak with kodak uh which i i think is is is poor form for somebody whose one job is to write rap. Yeah. You know, this is a collaboration between a rapper, Pitbull, and a singer, Neo.

Neo turned up, sings the chorus, sings it quite well, goes home. He's done his job. Pitbull rhymes Kodak with Kodak. And I wish then I could go, all right, well, that's forgivable because the rest of the rapping is so good it's terrible but the reason it's particularly bad for me is around the time that this song was massive uh i went on a date with a boy i met at a party and he was i think i was 16 17 and he was 18 or 19 um so i was sort of like still in sixth form he was like um it was a

party of people who were in the year above so he seemed really cool like and he uh asked if he could take me out the next week so he turned up and he got his own car and everything and we drove to uh like the car park in the town where I live. And in that next that car park, there is a cinema. And I knew that we were going to the cinema, but we parked up. And then he went past that cinema and to the train station. And I was like, oh, where are we going? And he was like, we're going to the cinema.

I was like, right. And because I like I was still quite early on in my dating time by then I just didn't question I was like okay maybe we're doing something before then then we got on the train to Leeds city centre and we got we went all the way to Leeds to go to the view and then we came back to my hometown and walked back to this car park at which point I said you know that that's a cinema there? And he just didn't know that there was a cinema right next to where he'd parked. So he had parked in this smaller town to get commuting into a big city and then come back.

But on that train journey into Leeds, he asked if I had any tattoos. And obviously I was 16, 17 at this point I said no I don't um and of course people only tend to ask that question if they're um dying chomping at the bit to show you their tattoo so of course I came back with um no do you and he sort of his eyes lit up and he said yeah I do actually um and he started unbuttoning his shirt and he pulled down and right across his pectoral over to his other one, right across his chest was, we might not get tomorrow, so let's do it tonight.

Which is a lyric from said song, Give Me Everything, by Pitbull and Neo. We might not get tomorrow, so let's do it tonight. And I recognised it straight away because that song was everywhere at the moment. I said, is that the Pitbull song? And he nodded so gleefully. He was like, yeah, yeah, it is actually. Oh, no.

I said, oh, cool. What sort of inspired you to get that then? He was like, I just think they're words to live by. I just think we never know if we're going to get to it. I was like, well, I think there's a lot more profound... I didn't obviously say this at the time. But there is a lot more profound sayings out there that have the same sentiment that aren't a pitbull lyric.

And I'm not saying that you should all go out and get carpe diem tattooed on you which is of course the same sentiment and an incredibly overused tattoo but do you need a pitbull lyric across your chest to remind you to appreciate things in the moment that's all i'm saying i don't think that's necessary yeah oh man a pitbull lyric tattooed and also it does feel like on a first date showing that quote it's a bit more like trying to plant seeds isn't it saying let's just have sex tonight that was it that i mean this is my mantra it's not about life it's not carpe diem it's like let's let's just have sex it's fine yeah i don't think i don't think that lyric across his chest was referring to like let's just have sex, it's fine. Yeah, I don't think that lyric across his chest was referring to like, let's just be appreciative of what we have right now

and let's really be thankful for what we have because we don't know if we're going to get it, you know, we don't know if we're going to get tomorrow. The sentiment of that tattoo was, I don't know if I'm going to get another date, so can we have sex tonight, please? Also, the idea of a man with a tattoo talking about appreciating the here and

now and what's around you not realizing he's parked next to a cinema before he gets on a train to go to a cinema literally i mean i think that any tattoos with quotes is sort of a bit dangerous because you never know how they're going to date or you know they feel sort of more risky than just a picture or something. They really do. But when you're getting song lyrics especially. But then to someone like Pitbull, he's never going to be around a long time. That's the thing. It's like some people have song lyrics of songs that are quite deep. You know, there'll be a song that is notably quite a deep song.

Or it's a song that you know is quite personal to them uh because of a certain situation they've gone through um or as you say it's by a band or an artist that has stood the test of time um yeah but pitbull who i'm not even sure at his peak was actually cool i think i think back to when i'm pretty sure even when he was at his peak we would we were dancing along to it in a club but we were going bloody hell pitbull rhyming kodak with kodak what a weirdo we were all at least aware that it was not it's like aqua or barbie girl you know we were all aware at the time that it was ridiculous we enjoyed it but we knew it was ridiculous and it would have been ridiculous to have got Aqua's lyrics, come on Barbie, let's go party, on our bodies.

That would have been ludicrous. I think it was Limmy did a takedown of Pitbull. And obviously I'm not going to do it as well as Limmy, but he was sort of saying, none of it makes sense. Because he always used to wear a suit as well, didn't he? Quite a lot. So he's standing there looking like makes sense because he always used to wear a suit as well didn't he quite a lot yeah so he's standing there looking like some kind of weird manager again like a manager of a sainsbury's or something wearing a suit he's not very good at rapping he's not good looking

no like how and i know look you know obviously the industry yeah and a bit too old and the industry shouldn't be about sort of pretty young things all the time no but but you know there's got to be have an element of cool to it it should be something to aspire to yeah like i'm not good looking but i don't care because look what i can do but if you're sort of shit at everything i mean i think you need like one out of five traits you know pitbull is to wrapping what eamon holmes is to to presenting you presenting you're shocked he's got as much as he has. But it just feels like one day we're going to find out that his brother is

the head of Sony Records or something there has to be an in somewhere he didn't just get it on merit and at least with 50 Cent who I thought was shit when he was out at least he had a gimmick of having been shot a lot so you're like okay well you're real because you've been shot multiple times.

You're a shit rapper. But it doesn't matter. You've got that thing. Whereas Pitbull... And he dressed the part. He looked like a rapper. He'd walk into a radio station to do an interview and you'd go, that's a big rapper that's coming in there.

You know, he'd have the chains on and the snapbacks. And he had an entourage, maybe a grill. Pitbull, as you say, it turns out like he's turned up to the wrong wedding. Yeah, and I was going to say that he sort of has that vibe. Do you ever watch first dates? Yes. And sometimes someone walks in and they're just, you know, there's a woman's arrived already.

She's just looking really nice, you know, dressed to go out. And then a guy turns up and he hasn't kind of got it right and he's just worn what he last wore to a wedding. It's that same of kind of it's like that's not what you go on you don't need a waistcoat and a tie yeah what's he's got a staple like smart occasion suit that he uses for weddings job interviews dates yeah yeah the big three yeah the big. And he's as successful at each one of those ones. Okay, well, very good case made for that as well. Now, finally, the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals. Which animal is it and why?

Okay, a very specific reason for this one. It's the baboon. Right. reason for this one um it's the baboon right now um this this story takes me back to about 15 years ago so i was about 10 or 11 years old and uh my grandpa bless him was on a cruise with my granny uh somewhere i think out in the pacific and he had a heart attack. So they helicoptered him to the nearest land port, which was Cape Town in South Africa. And the sort of verdict was, he's on his, you know, it's not good. And they advised the family to come out as soon as possible, if we could.

I should say from the off go that by the end it all turned out fine and he went on to live another like 15 years um he's uh it was absolutely fine but we all flew out to cape town the whole family um and we're a big family so there's a lot of us out there um because grandpa was was not in good shape so we went out to Cape Town and um actually I think we booked to be there for about a week or two something like that and within sort of four or five days grandpa was actually able to be out of hospital um and was able to be in a little bit like in a wheelchair and stuff and was able to go around so we were like okay well let's book some things to do and we booked to go to this place called the Cape of Good Hope,

which is like the most southern part of South Africa, right at the bottom of Cape Town. And I remember we went in this minibus and the guide said, whatever you do, don't get any food because the baboons here are rife and they will go straight for your food so no no food please um leave it in the minibus and don't go to the cafe or anything like that and we got out and it was a beautiful like viewpoint of all of the sea and the the cape and all this and quite steep rocks heading down and you could see the baboons sort of running around like that. And there was park people there, guards, I guess,

but just checking that they didn't come up too close and all of this. And we were just sort of walking around. And my mum, bless her, she goes to me, do you want something to eat, Maisie? I said, the man in the bus, mum, said that we shouldn't. She said, yeah, it'll be OK, don't worry. What do you want something to eat maisie i said i put the man in the bus mum said that said that we shouldn't she said yeah be okay don't worry what do you want some crisps i said okay then yeah salt and vinegar crisps please so we went to this cafe my mum got some ready salted crisps and i got and she got me some salt and vinegar ones and we're walking back to the minibus where my grandpa is is sat in the seat with his head sort of drooping.

I think he's fallen asleep. He's not interested. Bless him, he's had a heart attack and been airlifted to land and this is his first day out. He's not interested in looking around the Cape of Good Hope. But all of us lot have been walking around. We're walking back to the minibus and i just feel something like touch touch my back like sort of hit me hit me on the back and i turn around and it is a baboon jumping up to try and

get my my crisps i'm obviously screaming my mum turns around and it screams even louder and at this point we both run for the for the van absolutely sprinting batting away with our crisps as we run like this at any baboon who runs near us my mum runs into the van right next to my grandpa and slides the door shut and i'm following behind and i i arrived to the van with a shut door at this point, the baboons catch up with me and are all over. I'm trying to bat them away with only a packet of salt and vinegar crisps. The guards are shouting at me and they're shouting at me to do something. And eventually I realise that they're saying,

let go of the crisp, let go of the crisp. I fling the crisps, the baboons run off into there. I, at this point, I'm just bursting into tears. I'm so traumatised. I've been attacked by, I don't know what it is, a herd, a school. Maybe a troop. A troop, a parliament of baboons.

I don't know. But I was attacked by a big group of baboons all over, trying to get this packet of crisps. My own mother slammed door to shut door. My grandpa, he can't do anything. He's drooped head. He's recovering from a cardiac arrest. I can't blame him.

It was the most traumatic event of my childhood. And I regale in telling that story to my mum every single time. And she sits there with her head in her hands. Bless her. I mean, I think it's fight or flight in that situation and my mum chose my mum chose fight but only on behalf of her um well I mean if only you'd had some lovely hummus to dip those crisps into perhaps the baboons wouldn't have been as keen please um but it's definitely with one of those things now of like if I go around a zoo or a sanctuary and i see the

baboons i couldn't be less interested i can't stand them i've definitely held that grudge but i think that monkeys are any sort of ape or monkey is quite a terrifying prospect i mean they're fascinating but in real life when you're close to them because they've got the sort of you know the tenacity and lack of morals of a of an animal but they've also got the sort of that dodgy conniving nature of a human they're the nearest thing to us so they've got all of the similarities to work us out but they are way more highly skilled in every single way than the human. They are faster than us, more aggressive than us, better fighters. Like, we will lose every time against them. But they've worked us out to a T.

So it's... Yeah, they're terrifying. And also, just quite crazy faces, haven't they? Oh, and so scary. So scary. They sort of look threatening, don't they oh oh and so scary so scary just like they sort of look threatening don't they they look really threatening the fact that they've just got their arse on show and so proudly is quite an intimidating aspect of them you know they they're they're like proudly showing off an area that we are embarrassed about and cover up um it's it's very they're intimidating like mentally as well as physically i feel like yeah they know what's going on yeah

do you know i mean they they've got us they've got us down and on the island you don't know if amon's stolen your food or the baboons he's always blaming the baboons but you never know which one it is exactly exactly yeah yeah they make a mess and that gets Kim Woodburn angry. Matt Hancock says he's going to do something about it, but just blames it on the other islanders, actually. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Well, I think you've done a great job picking a really inhospitable environment for yourself to live on.

Thank you. It literally does give me anxiety just thinking about this situation the level of thought and detail you've put into this as well is is very appreciated i mean it's um you've really painted a picture for us and it's not a picture that any of us want up in our houses no but uh it's a masterpiece of some kind oh um now maisie obviously we're sort of still deep into lockdown as we're recording so uh where can people hear or see more of you uh they can see me I think if we're in a park and we're two meters apart but it has to be with people from your household I think um there's no there's no way of seeing me gig at the moment because my job is illegal at the moment.

But I am on Twitter and Instagram as Maisie Adam and I also have a podcast with Tom Lucy called That's A First where we have guests on and they talk about their first times of various experiences, of embarrassing ones right up to the career ones. So that's out. Good. I think that's the only thing I have to advertise at the moment i've got no work um yeah oh and i have a special on on on next up accommodates my first edinburgh show if you'd like to watch that that would be great lovely brilliant well maisie thank you very much for talking to us today and sharing your desert

island dicks thank you dan thank you take care bye