Desert Island Dicks - MICHAEL AKADIRI

Episode Date: February 20, 2023

Multi-award winning comedian, Michael Akadiri joins Dan to share who and what he'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island. Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Heyo! That was more upbeat than I'd usually say hello. I hope it hasn't put you off. I was trying to get a bit more enthusiasm into it because I'm really falling asleep as I record this. So I'm just trying to get a bit more upbeat. Someone left a review for us recently on Desert Island Dicks saying that I put on a voice to try and sound drunk or stoned to be cool but this is just my

voice but I think it's just the general weariness that I have to deal with all the time so that's me. Anyway look this is Desert Island Dicks and today we have got comedian Michael Akadiri he won the comedian new comedian of the year in 2020 and he made it to the London final of BBC new comedy awards in 2021 he's got a tour on uh he was previously a junior doctor and now he's into comedy and uh yeah he's a really nice guy and I had a lot of fun chatting to him so yeah hope you enjoy this as well we're gonna keep coming back with more episodes all the time so make sure you subscribe and you won't miss a single one and uh you know what we'd love as always if you could

just give us a little review and a rating on itunes or wherever you get your podcasts that would be wonderful or just tell your friends tell your friends you know you always see people on twitter going any good podcast recommendations tell them about desert island dicks yeah that'll do look let's get on with the podcast now uh while i can still keep a bit of energy up and i'll be back at the end to tell you how you can get involved in desert island dicks yourself but now here, here's Michael Akediri on Desert Island Dicks. Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable.

Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest and here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is comedian and junior doctor Michael Akadiri. How are you doing? I'm very, very well, Daniel. Thank you so much for having me on. Thanks for joining us today. Now, Michael, look outside the window it's a nice sunny day you know things seem to be quite calm where I am. How are you feeling? Are you sort of ready to get stuff off your chest? Are you feeling kind of serene? Let's get a sort of mood gauge off you. Oh yeah there's a few people that I want to sort of get sank off my chest, lay into a little

like tell some home truths so yeah most home truth. So yeah, most definitely. I'm ready for this, most definitely. Cool. And I mean, are you someone who likes a bit of a rant in general, or do you sort of manage to kind of go through life fairly calmly and less provoked? I think your rant can be therapeutic. I think sometimes you just need to let off a bit of steam and let people know how you're feeling.

Or even if you just rant to your partner or significant other i think sometimes it's good just to just to get off your chest because i think if you bubble it up and you hold it it can go to sort of scary and dark places i think sometimes you do need to let let go of it good good well that's what we're here for no one believes me that i try and be a bit positive in my real life and everyone's like you host that podcast like it's obviously you just like ranting all the time. I agree. I think it's a nice safety valve for us to let off some steam. So, Michael, let's get into it then.

Who's going to be the first dick joining you on the island? Oh, this guy is a notorious dick. He is very well known in the UK, very well known in America. And I'm sure he's known as a in a dick in other places too this is Mr Piers Morgan okay okay now what are we going to say about Piers today do you know what it is I just think that obviously the Marmite character I'm sure people love him or they sort of loathe and hate him I'm obviously on the latter when it comes to that but I just think that he just courts controversy like I don't sometimes I think I don't believe he thinks what he thinks I think

he said stuff because he knows it's gonna get a reaction it's gonna go viral it's gonna get to comments and if that's his ploy I think it's very wise and it works but I don't know what he believes because he just flips and he flips and changes yeah I just always think it's worse if you're like if you have a sense of basic sort of moral right and wrong but you just say outlandish crazy mad stuff to get publicity I mean that's so much worse than if you're just an ignorant person who just like yeah 100% you know 100% so I was debating obviously I don't know if... Can I say a name that's not going to be on the island,

but say that they were close? Yeah, so obviously I was debating between him and Nigel Farage about I'm sure he's someone that's been brought up before. But the thing with Nigel Farage, like I don't agree with his opinions. I actually dislike him. But at least there's some consistency with Nigel. At least you kind of know

what you're going to get if there's certain topics you're going to ask for his opinion at least you can kind of guess where he's going but with Piers you you just don't know you you he just follows the tide and I can't respect that because every day on this island it'll be him flipping and changing I don't know where he's going to go I don't know if he's going to go left or right or straight down the middle and I can't deal with that unpredictability yeah i i just think with him it's the way like he amplifies little things like certain newspapers will do this they'll kind of go oh look at this example of woke culture you're not allowed to do this thing anymore because there was a case in birmingham where this happened and most of the time the

story has been massively twisted it's not really like no one's banning christmas trees do you know what i mean it's like exactly you know exactly but it's those kind of little things that really stick and get in people's heads and then like they just sort of that that changes their outlook on everything you know and when people talk about like woke it's like before woke we had political correctness and all of these things are basically trying to give us a world where we don't offend each other or we understand each other a bit better but suddenly it's like oh you you can't even say i'll have a white coffee anymore because someone's gonna get upset and it's like no one's saying that man but you know he's such a megaphone for this kind of like unresearched nonsense, you know. A hundred percent. And he knows he's going to get traction.

He knows that people are going to latch onto it and stuff. And he's just, he's making noise where noise doesn't need to be made. And I think he thrives on that. He thrives on that sort of type of chaos. And, you know, sometimes, you know, yeah, on one hand, at some point, he was Meghan Markle's friend. Now he's the biggest enemy and he's just flipping and turning and changing and it's just the inconsistency i think you should know what a person a man or a woman or whatever stands for and i just think that with him you just don't know what he stands for if you're the marginalized group he's generally against you like if you say you know if you're sort of like a person

of color or gay or trans or anything that's the stuff that like oh now you're woke and i'm not allowed to call you this because it upsets you you know but yeah it does upset them so why not not say it you've got why not abide by that yeah from this huge position of privilege and you know it's just that whole thing of like people like him being in a position where they can say whatever they want talking about how they're not allowed to say anything. Oh, it's beautiful, isn't it? Yeah, you've got a fancy TV show that gets millions of views and you can't say anything, nor all the people are out to get you. And it's like, no, you have a very fancy studio.

You have access to interview world famous footballers like Cristiano Ronaldo. So I don't think you're being censored in any sort of way, shape or form. I think you have the platform to do what you like, but that's part of the game, isn't it? You know, if you make people feel that you're being censored or someone,

the big bad wolf somewhere's out to get you, it sort of creates this herd mentality where people really want to support you because, you know, if he goes and no one else will be saying this stuff and we need people like piers because he's going to fly the flag for us and whatnot and i just find it difficult when sometimes he's taking government ministers to task and then i find myself agreeing with him and that's where there's a confliction for me because i'm like well i agree with this point but i don't agree with eight percent of what he says so yeah what does that make me and that's where the confliction comes from yeah no definitely definitely yeah i think he's a sort of one of those you know you basically sit on a sofa on tv

i mean now obviously he's like a bit more marginalized he's on you know that different channel he's not on itv and stuff anymore because he had a little hissy fit but um you know it's that kind of amplification of like crazy views which i just don't know who was ever tuning into that stuff in the morning anyway so uh yeah i think it's a good first choice for the island and um yeah and also the other thing it doesn't matter how long you're on there for he's always just going to wind you up just for sport you know and it's oh he's he loves it yeah and yes he's he will be talking about football because he's an arsenal fan arsenal top of the league.

So he'll drive home that point as well. Yeah, that'll be unbearable. All right, well, who's going to join him? Who's your next choice? So the next choice is someone that I'm actually fond of, but I would not want to be on an island with them. So this is someone I grew up watching, someone who I was a big fan of, still am a fan of, but I wouldn't want to spend any prolonged period of time with them so this is someone i grew up watching someone who i was a big fan of still i'm a fan of

but i wouldn't want to spend any prolonged period of time with them in a desert island and that is dwayne the rock johnson okay right interesting what's your thoughts on dwayne i think you know i grew up i grew up watching wwe watching wrestling he was this charismatic performer can you smell what the rock is cooking i used to say that every morning on my way to the kitchen even though i was cooking absolutely nothing um i think and now he's obviously he's a huge movie star but when i follow him on instagram this guy had a grueling workout schedule when i like to dabble i like to work out here and there a little gym a little run but not with his militant 4 a 4am 355 work workouts before in iron paradise as he calls it and i don't want to be on no desert island and this man is tapping my

shoulder at half three in the morning to get up and go exercise that's where i tell him i would want to tell him to go away i want him to tell i would want to tell him to scatter to get out of my sight but because he's so huge i could not tell him and i don't want to tell him to scatter, to get out of my sight. But because he's so huge, I could not tell him. And I don't want to be in a situation where I've got a guy who is annoying me, but I'm too scared to tell him to clear off. And that's why I wouldn't want to be in a desert island with him. Yeah, fair enough, man. I think with all these celebrities, when they're in amazing shape

and they're getting up at whatever time and sharing their workout plan, and you're like yeah but i know you work you probably work really hard and have mad schedules yeah but you've also got people to manage those schedules for you and obviously you've got a trainer telling you what to do and then you've got someone who's prepped your meals afterwards absolutely and i've got a job so i can't spend four hours a day in the gym so like stop telling me that we've all got the same amount of hours in the day because yeah it's not a level playing field oh absolutely yeah yeah that's it it's the same time but it's the it's what you can do at the time that's what essentially it is isn't it you know and yeah celebrities molly may obviously from love island uh famous very famously you said that there's only

24 hours in the day which riled some people and yeah most definitely that's on like the rock i'm sure he's got a chef a personalized chef who makes him these healthy meals and that's the thing you try to go to the gym but then you've got to make a nice meal after and that takes time there's ways to get around it some people do meal prepper to start the week and whatnot but then you're eating the same meal day to day so there's no shortcuts for having people to help you take out the menial tasks that all of us the rest of us have got to do yeah exactly so people sort of talk about like the royal family and they'll go oh kate middleton seems like such a great mother i'm like yeah do you know what like she can click her fingers and someone make her a cup of tea any time of day or night even if i just had that i would be a better father like yeah i wouldn't play with

my kids more i wouldn't stare at my phone as much because i wouldn't be as tired like don't give me i just think i was so annoyed with it but um i mean also the rock like like years ago i had to help with someone who was interviewing him at like a press conference thing oh brilliant and I had like this little recorder with two mics coming out with different leads and one of them whoever packed this kit they put one mic lead was about 30 feet long and one was about two feet long and the only reason the only way I could get the mic close enough to him with the recorder that I could keep an eye on the levels and stuff but without being in shot i basically had to like crouch right down next to his knee oh my god with the microphone so that because it was just the cable wasn't long and i was basically face to face with his arm oh yeah and all i could think was how his arm was bigger than my leg and it was such a sort of like

he was a really nice guy and you know like it seemed really bright and articulate and just friendly and professional but i just thought man just being reminded constantly of like how puny i am compared to him we're just like even if you start working out with him and you're having a great time you just always be aware of like god i can't lift this rock that we need to get out the way for the shelter that we're building like wayne can you help me with the thing mate no i know you said positive mindset and everything but it's really heavy you can't i'm gonna need your colossal arms please and it's it's always gonna be slightly undermine you the whole time oh absolutely like yeah someone someone telling you push harder push more and then usually you don't if if you know you can push more than

them then you have a psychological thing where you can probably push through when they can do everything and more than you yeah it's just the game's done yeah I think it'll be a difficult one I think there's a lot of that sort of sometimes sort of borders on like life coach sort of mentality with him you know what I mean you think like I've got nothing against

him but I also think you've got a lot of extra help and it's not as clear cut as it's yeah yeah I think it's the too perfect thing sometimes and I think it's great and stuff and obviously this is a bit of a joke um but I think sometimes if someone comes across as too perfect it's almost then you start questioning things you know this guy obviously you know he's Hollywood he's an actor he's good looking he's in shape it's like how have you got it all and you're a good man you're a nice guy too so there's always a bit of skepticism there isn't there i saw a really weird video that he did recently where he was like he goes oh when i was a kid i didn't have

much money and i used to go into this shop every day and steal a snickers bar like every day for like however long he used to go and steal the snickers bar and now i've got money i want to make it right so i'm going to buy all the Snickers in the shop. And anyone else in here, yeah, whatever you want, come and bring it. And I'm going to buy it. And it's like,

that's really nice. But that's not the opposite of like stealing Snickers every day for a year. Like, that's like, I don't know how, I don't think that, it's quite a nice stunt, but it's like,

I don't think this is the same. Yeah. You just need to pay for what you stole that's all you need to do you know someone chasing after me like i know you bought all like drinks for everyone around here but like i mean you did it for years dude that's a lot of snickers with inflation you need to buy a lot more snickers than you just walked out with man 100 yeah the price don't change like the price of refredo bars gone up so you know yeah you have to pay up doing okay so we've got duane johnson and piers morgan which is already quite an

interesting scenario i think imagine it now yeah um who's going to be your final person joining them the final person is someone that yeah i can't stand this person i i really can't stand this individual, this man right here. His name is Jeremy Hunt. I can't stand Jeremy Hunt because two times in my life, he's tried to mess with my money. And I don't think you come between a man or woman and their money. That is a problem. So in 2016, I'm sure you remember, Daniel, he was the health secretary. And that's at a time when he was embroiled in a controversy with us junior doctors when it comes to our pay in a new contract.

And he was trying to get a lot more for a lot less, essentially. And there was industrial action, people going on strike. So then that ended. Somehow he won that battle so to speak and then he moved on you know i think in between he tried to become uh the lead at one point he was a foreign secretary i believe at some point and then more recently he's now the chancellor of the exchequer and now i've moved more into comedy and last month or january 2013 was self-assessment month and he's the chancellor

and he's trying to take money from me in that way obviously in terms of taxes and hmrc were on my case emails texts calls at times i'm like these guys why do they know so much about me so this is a guy who at two different stages of my life has been involved in trying to take some money from me and i won't be surprised if in a third stage he becomes a comedy critic and he comes to a show gives me two stars but yeah Jeremy Hunt yeah I can't stand yeah definitely I just feel like for the last 12 years of government there's just been so many people who you know we could put on this desert island and you know and he's been there for quite a lot of it you know just sort of helping along the way and i once once a review for this podcast i got called a fawning lefty sycophant so this is this person's not

going to enjoy this kind of thing but like i just think there's so many clear-cut cases where it's like just just pay the people that hold our society together more like they teach our kids they heal our wounded and our ill like yeah're the people, but there's no money. It's like, tax your mates. Tax your friends. Oh, yeah. Stop giving everyone massive bonuses. Take that money,

because this is the really important shit that we need. 100%. I know it sounds really simplistic. Oh, it's not as simple as that. I bet it kind of is, because when the Queen died, I'm sure it is. you found

that money pretty quickly for a very expensive funeral right when 100 they could have paid for that themselves like there is money there's always money like somewhere so absolutely i'm just sort of done with it no no absolutely and i hope the sentiment is shared with more people around the country so when 2024 and election time rolls around we can hopefully see a bit of a change but i yeah there definitely is money and we saw with the vip gateway with um during covid that obviously michelle mona is the name which is banded about again how she was given 200 million for a covid ppe contract even though previously she's never supplied any ppe and she made her name in the lingerie business.

So it just goes to think, and 120 million of that PPE has been found to be not of use and had to be disposed, but she's still got 200 mil. So, you know, it just goes to show there is definitely money there that can be wasted, that can be given to conservative peers. But when it comes to the people on the front lines

we're found wanting and that's why a lot of them are currently on strike yeah yeah definitely yeah it does seem like such a black and white thing you know and people i don't know and you can just sort of see people wanting to let it all fall apart so then they've got an excuse to privatize things and be like of course you know and people it's like oh god i had to wait this long at the doctors the other day so yeah but it's not their fault that's like years of course, you know, and people, it's like, oh God, I had to wait this long at the doctors the other day. So yeah, but it's not their fault. That's like years of it just being left to crumble. And, you know, and he's anyone who's been a part of it in the last sort of 12 years or whatever.

It's like, yeah, you've got a hand in that. A hundred percent. Yeah. A hundred percent. But that's the thing. They're at brand new, like these problems aren't new and you know, they're hemorrhaging staff, but they're pleading and promising to hire a bag of new staff but how do you how are you going to keep those staff you hire if you keep hemorrhaging staff so yeah it's there's there's a lot of problems and uh people

like jeremy hunt these continuous people that have been there from the start are part of it so yeah so that's why i could i could i couldn't stand him i couldn't i couldn't be on the island with him yeah yeah and i think uh you know every now and again you might talk about your previous life as a doctor and yeah like and he'll be chipping in but like well actually we invested very uh very heavily in that sector like shut up shut up jeremy yeah yeah that's when i give me the rock give him a joint rock bottom that's when we do that yeah and also i mean they're having jeremy hunt and piers morgan together i just think it's gonna be like oh it's not gonna be nice yeah yeah i i think i may have to become a tag team with the rock and you know just take them out it may be one of those i don't know yeah now the rock is making

a lot of sense on the island i think you know yeah i think that that's just uh someone that we can have a bit banter of he's perfect but he's he's close he's perfection i'm not perfection but we can still take out those two cronies nice okay well you've got yourself a good selection of dicks there so we're going to move on slightly now you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from lips and ads choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with lips and ads go to lips and ads.com now that's l-i-b-s-y-n ads.com because mercifully amongst the wreckage

of the plane there was some food and drink left over unfortunately for you it's your least favorite food and drink in the world yeah what are they and why are they so bad i can't stand green curry okay like a thai green curry yeah so my missus she loves thai food that's her favorite food and she loves a type of green curry i can't stand it i i don't think it looks appetizing and i i think it's weird green with vegetables i'm fine with with anything else that is edible i'm a bit um turned off by okay okay and does it apply to things like drinks like i don't know like mountain dew or something is it the idea of drinking something green is it just a bit weird yeah i don't i don't i don't drink it like even anything liquid like that i'll just see it as fairy liquid like the washing up liquid and i couldn't drink it i would tell myself that's not

normal like i see gym gym heads uh they'll be drinking creatine and that's come sometimes comes in a green liquid i think it looks foul i think it looks disgusting i'm like what are you doing uh yeah yes except for vegetables or fruit green otherwise doesn't doesn't make sense to me and i shouldn't be consumed how are you with other sort of general thai flavors are you kind of okay oh yeah like sweet anything sweet chili oh i'm involved in get me sweet chili or a pad thai i can i can down a pad thai but green curry not for me i'm sorry i don't offend no one but i'm sorry i can't deal with it it's weird because i've never thought of it as something that could be like offensive to someone but the more you say green curry the stranger it

sounds so yeah it's great why is it green like you see i've seen red curry or because you're i'm used to loads of curries being like a tomato base but the red sort of color or um i've i've just been having it the other day curry goat um but green no problem okay okay yeah so i suppose like every day because i mean i think it's quite a good desert island food you can get get some coconut milk in there and stuff like that. But, yeah, I mean, I guess you've obviously got, like, this barrier to it that isn't going to be easy to get past. Yeah, yeah, this barrier, it's a long-standing barrier. This barrier's been up for a decade now.

Have you tried it? No. It's colour. I think it's one of those things where I'd have to be blindfolded and not know that someone's putting it in my mouth. I think it has to be something like that. I think it has to be one of those sort of I don't know because I can't when I see it I'm like could even remind me of puke so I can't do it okay fair enough okay now what

would you try and wash that down with what's your bad drink choice bad drink I I'm not a beer drinker at all beers lagers don't do it for me. It sounds odd. There's a section of the pub that when I go in, that the draft, when they're pulling, I don't know what is being pulled. I have no idea, no interest. I'm a spirit and mixer guy.

So beer, I don't like beer. I think I was first introduced to beer when I went to a friend's 15th party and they were like, what do you want to drink? I said, well, you know, fruit juice, I don't know, something juvenile. And then they're like, no, here's Stella Artois. I tried it, tasted absolutely foul, disgusting.

Not for me. So since then, I don't even go near it. I don't even attempt it. I'm not a beer drinker. Spirit makes a guy get me a Jack Daniels and Coke any day of the week. I think that shows a lot of maturity from you at that age because most of us had the similar experience and we just like pushed through like we have to keep drinking like we've got to make this nice and then

eventually like oh i like it now you know so i think to sort of just go i know myself well enough i don't like this and i'm not going to succumb to peer pressure. Yeah, kudos, man. Absolutely. I had to hand that full can of Stellato out back. I said, mm-mm, this, I don't know why people have succumbed to this. It doesn't taste good, but then I think maybe it's one of those, as you say, blokes, just like, yeah, why not?

Boom. And then it's just a blokey thing that you just drink this disgusting beverage. Yeah. And is it, I mean, so I guess it's like a blokey thing that you just drink this disgusting yeah and is it i mean so i guess it's like everything about it you don't like you know taste and the fizziness and all of that yeah like that's the thing like i i'm i'm more of a sort of just gonna like lower my street cred but i'm more of a sort of fruity cider like i i would rather drink a copperberg or recorder link or old me as opposed to sell it out to our any day of the week and if that makes me look a bit soft or whatever then so be it i'll hold that i'll wear my softness of pride it's weird though isn't it like that food

and drinks have got such a sort of gendered sort of thing about them sometimes so it's like oh you like a fruity drink do you like it's such a weird thing yeah it's like you know same with like colors like you wear that color that's a bit of a girly color you're like it's just a color no absolutely but that's that's the thing that if if i went up to the bar and ordered a pink gin it's like you pink gin what's going on there'll be all these questions and you know so yeah i think it is sort of crazy but we used to live in a world where there were chocolate bars that girls couldn't eat so you know uh you're not for girls so that's the world we've come from yeah i don't know man like i grew up obviously drinking lagers and stuff like everyone else and these days i do sort of feel

like i don't know it's like when i started drinking guin else and these days i do sort of feel like i don't know it's like when i started drinking guinness and then like you know sort of hip hipster beers came out and stuff and i went oh right i do like these things you know it's like i just didn't like shit lager the whole time and you know i mean and like i think yeah being older you can just go yeah i'm not gonna drink that i'm fine you know it's quite nice yeah 100 you can be a bit more because you're more comfortable in who you are then you can be a bit more decisive can't you yeah but obviously it took me a lot longer than you because you were there 15 no chance that's foul take it away also do you know what i said to you the other day like the whole thing of like curry and beer like

i just get so full like i just think it's I just think it's meant to be this good combination. I sort of get it, but it's such a filling combination. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, curry and beer. You're going to be bloated for hours, man. Bloated, full, burping. You're sitting on the desert island, Piers Morgan giving you all this shit,

Jeremy Hunt just sort of talking about how the Conservatives invested so much in the NHS. Absolutely. And, you know, you're sitting there all bloated trying to eat a green curry with a lager yeah it's a complete mess all three of us are going to have gout it's only Dwayne The Rock Johnson who's looking after himself

that won't he's probably eating all the chicken and the nutritious stuff out of the curry and you're just left with the sauce oh don't remind me okay now fortunately you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes entertainment system continues to work but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song what are they and why my least favorite film or other genre of films i don't like um and it's gonna sound like mr boohoo but i don't like

rom-coms i i can't stand them i think they're too cheesy i think uh you you know where the script is going at the start guy meets girl in coffee shop by chance they spilled a coffee on the shirt and then by the end they're madly in love i can't stand it particularly of note just because my missus likes it i don't like the notebook it's just not believable for me i know films this is fictional i know it's meant to be for entertainment but i can't buy into them i can't invest my time or my heart into rom-coms and i'd rather just watch a comedy rather than a rom-com. I don't believe it. So really, a rom-com's not for me. The Notebook, mm-mm, can't watch it, can't do it. Yeah, it's weird with like a romantic comedy

because there's always a bit in the middle where it has to stop being a comedy for a bit. Yeah. It starts off really funny and then, yeah, they have to kind of get serious because they have to be a breakup or someone can't get with the girl that he wants or something like there's so few that are just really funny start to finish you know 100 100 and it's weird because i suppose i suppose you do get like action comedies and sort of horror comedies and stuff a bit don't you so i guess it's not that weird to sort of mix

up the genres but yeah i think there's a lot of really lazy rom-coms out there that are really formulaic and just like all right you like this guy and this person so let's put them together again yeah or like oh this is a bit like that or let's do a sort of take off that that was popular right so a wedding you know yeah it's just too yeah you say formulaic is the is the correct word i know where's going. And I know sometimes you can know where something's going, but it can still be entertaining and fun. I think with these, I just, I know where the script is going from the start. And part of the entertainment for me

is not knowing where it's going, having a guess in games, just seeing, following the action. Or at least with an action film, the action is so entertaining that I don't really care that i know where the script's going you know i don't feel with a rom-com the fun the comedy is not always that funny to take away from the fact that i know where it's going and i get sort of bored by the end and yeah so

yeah rom-coms no genre i want that taken off my netflix if i can thank you yeah i just think so often like this sort of theme comes back again again here where i always say about how things are more frustrating when they're close to something that you want but not quite there so you like comedy yeah but you know this like and it's almost there could just be a comedy film but it can't be because there's all this 100 i agree with you wholeheartedly and it's why obviously my medical background i can't watch any medical dramas i can't do it i know it's not i know it's fictional but if they're doing cpr wrong i'm switching off i'm like what are you doing that's not real the the pads for the defib are not in the right places can't watch it can't do it so yeah i understand if it's close to what i know

and it's off then i switch off okay and what would your song choice be? do you think it's I think she's done well off it and I think she's got good she's got good banter and she knows the song's not a good song but she embraces the fact that it's not a good song and I think it's that teenager she's not a teenager now who came up with the song Friday

Rebecca Black there we go there we go I think she knows it's not a good song. I think deep down she knows. Unless she said, I get the vibe that she plays along with the fact that it's a song that went viral, but it's not really a good song. And she's not trying to say I'm

Beyonce or anything like that. She accepts where she is and in the sort of singing rankings. Yeah, it's a terrible song. Wasn't the thing behind that like her parents paid for her to get it done like as a birthday present saying it's like oh there's this thing someone will help you write a song and then we'll record it into a video it must cost quite a lot but um absolutely so i don't even know if she was ever like meant to be like a serious musician

but it's so weird because like maybe like every couple of years it will pop into my head and it's just there. And you know, like I have no ill feelings against Rebecca black. Like I think she was just a young girl who had this present and it sort of got whipped out of proportion. Absolutely. So,

you know, fair enough to her, but fucking hell, it's a terrible song. And when it's stuck into your head, stuck in your head, it's like, that's a terrible song. And when it's stuck in your head, it's like, that's not going anywhere. No, a good song is catchy. Well, yeah, a catchy song,

because you want to replay it in your head, and then you're like, oh, I want to listen to that again. You put it on Spotify or wherever it is. So it did have that replay value, which songs need. But yeah, it was absolutely hot garbage trash and um i think she knows it yeah um i'm just gonna check um i want to see uh how many how many hits it's got on youtube by now oh yeah let's find out okay so 11 years ago it's got 164 million hits which I'm always surprised it's not more than that

maybe this isn't the original one but 164 million which is pretty mad that's not bad that's some change on YouTube that's for sure although now I'm looking at her she actually is still releasing music no way

what and now there's like a remix of it of Friday and there's another tune called Sick to My Stomach wow okay interesting you go Rebecca I'm still releasing music

so who knows part of me is now curious what the new stuff sounds like but I also am very protective of what goes into my brain these days because there's so much shit out there. So I'm just going to remain curious. I was going to say we get tour tickets. You don't want to go?

Maybe, me and you. We can do a live podcast from the show. Absolutely. Why not? But yeah, as something to live with as your only song, I mean, that would just be dreadful. Yeah, yeah. You get one hit, one does, so to speak,

like Daniel Benenfield, I think that's a banger. He's holding on to that legacy. But yeah, as Friday, to be your thing that the world knows you for, it's a difficult one. Yeah, fair enough. Okay, Michael, finally, the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals. Which animal is it and why?

Yeah, I can't stand rats. I cannot stand a rat. No one is ever pleased to see a rat. No one has ever gone to you and been like, Hey, guess what I saw today? A rat. Rats. Filthy, disgusting animals of the underworld.

I went to New York a few years ago and the rats were, they're huge over there. They must be in the gym with the rock what is going on why are the rats so big over there and i was going on the subway the rats were checking my tickets what's going on what what is it is scary i can't deal with no rodents we need to exterminate all rodents yeah there's something about like a big wild rat that just is it just i think it's like a mammalian response where we just can't help but jump you know like i'm not particularly scared of most of things like that but anything you know like if it's on the street and it's big and it sort of feels like because they feel like it's a bit like foxes have got these days like they sort

of stopped giving a fuck a long time oh yeah you know and they're just like and they'll just stand again and what you move you know it's that absolute which startles you because you're like am i gonna start swinging with a fox like is this gonna happen yeah yeah you know i think being on the island and then having to deal with that sort of thing as well it's like they're not really there's not many places you could hide like if you had food that you didn't want them to get like they can climb really well i think they can maybe swim as well like they're one of those all-rounders like a bear when you're like how do i escape this thing that can do everything yeah um. It's just, yeah.

I was already put off by the green curry, but if you see a rat in it, then what am I doing? Let me exterminate myself. Forget the rat. Exterminate me, please. And does it stem from anywhere? Have you always hated rats

or there's not an incident or something? I think just, I've never really liked them. Like I couldn't watch the film Ratatouille. I'm like, why are we trying to do good PR for rats? What are we doing here? But I think when I went to New York and I saw like them pop up on the drains

and how big they were, I was like, this is foul. This is scary. And yeah, I think it was just New York tipped me over the edge. Fair play, yeah. I I mean it's one thing like on the underground sometimes here in London you see like little mice and stuff but they're fairly kind of harmless and they're so tiny

and they just sort of disappear out of sight really quickly but they're not like a big rat plodding along it just makes my skin crawl like what are you like how are you this big what have you been eating and yeah all right yeah me and rats sorry fair enough yeah well look i think it's a good uh icing on top of the cake

made of dicks for your island i think um you know you've got some solid choices in there and uh you know you've created your own personal health so uh yeah good for good for you, man. And thanks for coming on today. Now, what are you up to at the minute then? You got a tour? Yes, absolutely. Yeah, so it's called No Scrubs. As it's about my life in the NHS, my life outside it. And it's going on a UK tour.

So it's sold out in Edinburgh back August 2022. I took it to the Aberystwyth Comedy Festival as well in October. But now we're focusing on venues up and down the country So we're stopping off in London Which is sold out but I'm going to add a new date Bristol sold out, we've added another time Cambridge, Brighton sold out Leicester, Manchester and Birmingham still have a few tickets

And Cambridge has a few tickets So if you're in any of those cities or towns And you want to come out this February or March, then feel free to find me on social media, which is at Michael, aka, it's Akadiri, but if you type Michael,

aka, I should come up and hopefully see some of you guys there. Nice one. Brilliant. Well, we'll try and catch you on the road and thanks for coming on Desert Index again today, mate. Thank you for having me.

Lovely, lovely time on this island. Good luck with it. Thank you for having me. Lovely, lovely time on this island. Good luck with it. Thank you. There you go. That was Michael Akadiri there and I hope you enjoyed that as well. So, here's your chance to get involved with Desert Island Dicks. I'm saying it like it's a competition or something. It's a thing we do all the time. Regular listeners will know all about this. It's our sister podcast, Compact Dicks. And it's where me and former host of the show, James Deacon, get together and just share some of the people and things that you,

the listener, want to get off your chest and who you'd hate to be stuck on a desert island with so you can pick any of our normal categories people song food drink film animal any of them or you can even go off piste and pick an object or just a concept or an idea that annoys you so it's very much open to you you can write us an email by going to dixpod.com contact or you can get in touch with us on twitter and instagram at dixpod as well so there you go that's how to do it and there'll be another one of those along shortly and there'll be another one of these along shortly with another great guest so uh yeah subscribe and you won't miss any of them desert island dicks with a

sync clap production it was dreamt up and produced by james deacon and uh thank you to john deacon for additional support for all of the help you give us with our archives and just just general support just being a nice guy and a fan oh yeah and it was hosted and produced by me dan benedictus right i've run out of things to say so yeah bye