Desert Island Dicks - MICHAEL ODEWALE

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Comedian Michael Odewale joins me to share who and what he'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island. Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Hi, I'm James Deacon and welcome to Desert Island Dicks. And you might be able to hear a little bit of background noise. For the first time ever, we've taken it outside the studio, which is going to be interesting. But as always, it's going to be the same podcast.

So this is a show where you're marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable who they are and why they're a dick is up to you and here to share their desert island dicks with us today is comedian michael adewale hello hello how are you you good we're above a pub right now we are yeah it's got some nice ambience. It has. Ambulance going and everything. I know, yeah. Adds a nice risky filter, you know what I mean? It does, yeah, yeah. It's good. So we're in the depths of East London?

The depths? No. I've seen depthier stuff in East London, to be fair, but yeah. We're in East London. We're in East London. Actually, no, we're in very hipster East London. We're in the hipster. This is definitely not the depths.

This is the depths. I'm wrong. I'm totally wrong. If it gets tough out here, this is out here this is actually we're sat in a room and it's got like antique furniture that's been made to look older than it actually even is they definitely added dust they added dust to some of the stuff yeah natural dust there's some plants yeah so i painted a picture of where we are um but i'm joined by michael adewale thank you very much for coming in no problem um how did you find making your choices for desert island dicks it was great i thought about it for a while because i i want to give some original answers yeah so i really thought about it you know also

i didn't want to name too many names no yeah yeah so i went for like more general things you know more general things that i can bounce off and you know just things that i have personal memories to as well so there's particular reasons i dislike them okay really yeah i can't wait to hear let's get into it let's do it who's gonna be your first choice so instagram influencers i feel like them as a group would be very terrible to be stuck on an island with you know because you don't want to be stuck on an island and then someone's trying to photoshop like the images so they look better you know what i mean they're adding filters and stuff just like there's not a lot of like things you can really do to like survive with those kind of people i know what you mean so you landed on the island right you've crashed on this island and

you're there and they're just trying to get phone signal they're trying to get phone signal yeah yeah yeah and it's just like they're trying to do it but not so they can call the emergency services so they can get that selfie on the beach so they're trying to get that perfect selfie you know i'm not having to take pictures you know of them and shit like trying to have to photoshop it yeah it's not great you know what i mean so i don't um have you have you encountered many instagram influencers in real life i have not really i just see them online and whatnot and i don't know maybe i shouldn't hate on them too much. Maybe a job is a job, but it's... It's fine. I get it, right?

So I'm looking at it and I'm like, this is fine, right? But you don't give a shit about this product. No. And it's just like they're wearing it or holding it. And it's just like... It feels very, very fake, to be fair. But I saw this one. I don't know if it was real or not,

but there was these influencers and they were at this nuclear site, like Chernobyl-looking site, and they were taking pictures there. What? Yeah, they were half naked at this clearly wasteland-type site. So it's like risking death to do what they do, I guess. That's like people taking selfies at Auschwitz. Do you know what I mean? It's inappropriate risking death to do what they do, I guess. But, you know. That's like people taking selfies at Auschwitz. You know what I mean? It's inappropriate.

Yeah. But maybe you've got to get them likes. Maybe. I mean, if you're going to get paid, you've got to get those likes. Everything's an opportunity. And I feel like it would be the same on the desert island where it's an opportunity to get likes and get some followers. And you know what? I don't have enough followers. So maybe I'll get on board after a while.

Maybe that's my fear, is that I will get caught up into it after a while. Do you know what I mean? Is this born out of follower jealousy? This is a little bit of that jealousy. Do you know what I mean? After a while, I'm going to be taking pictures of fish and Photoshopping them so the fish look curvy.

And then I look curvy. All of that stuff's going to start happening. Okay, yeah, yeah. I mean, I don don't know i think it'd be frustrating right if they've got the they've got the phone and they're on instagram and they're like trying to do their instagrams and the battery dies and you're like that could have been the one lifeline do you know what i mean who would you call on the desert island what would be the phone call who would i call on the desert island shit um i don't know probably like my dad or something i'd be like dad i'm on the desert island shit um i don't know probably like my dad or something i'd be like dad i'm on a desert island yeah but then the phone would die and he doesn't know and

he wouldn't know i don't who no one has asked me that before that's because that's the actual thing i don't know who i actually would call because you can't like call 999 do you feel like is that gonna work what because we never even got what what was the island? What island are we stuck on? You're like in the middle of the Pacific somewhere, deep. Okay, so there's no 999. There's really no one you can call. Maybe you just embrace the narcissism, like the influencers, and you go out like a soldier.

You go out with some hot picks. Go out with some hot picks. And then when they eventually find you and your phone, they'll be like, okay, he's dead, but didn't he look amazing? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get a nice angle. make sure you're looking the best you can be get a good filter on it they'll name a diet after you the desert island diet oh my god look amazing oh after a few days you're gonna be looking real skinny just starve yourself and eat sand that's the diet right there drink seawater and just throw up every day that's it man i think some models do that already but you know there might be influences

listening to this right now thinking i might do this you might go out there yeah and if they survive that's a nice youtube series i mean what happened to me you're done on the thing that's it boom right there so i've actually convinced myself that maybe is the right way to go maybe i take some influences out there is this the end of the podcast? I feel like, has anyone ever argued against themselves before? I don't know if anyone's had this much of a turnaround. Maybe we shouldn't just embrace narcissism. That's it.

If you think you're beautiful, why not promote that beauty? Yeah. If people buy into it, then that's an amazing thing that you've managed to sell your face. That's it. Isn't that the life that we all want? Okay. Well, there sell your face that's it isn't that delightful that we all want okay well there we go there's a message for everyone i just got a bit philosophical i know but that's like maybe that's it okay this six minutes that's the shortest one of these we've done good we solved it no i'm gonna keep you here who's gonna be a second choice i believe

my second choice was any motivational speaker it is yeah, yeah. Because I used to see them on, I've seen them on Instagram as well, these sort of motivational speakers. And I've realized what they do, they don't actually solve any problems. What they do is that they just give you an analogy. They describe your problem in an analogy or in a metaphor so that it thinks like they've solved your problem.

All they've done is describe your problem in a different way. Do you know what I mean? Right, okay. Because you can be like, oh, I'm having relationship problems. And they'll be like, well, you know what, man? Relations your problem in a different way. You know what I mean? Right. Okay. Go on. Cause you can be like, Oh, I'm having relationship problems. And they'll be like, well, you know what,

man? Relationships are like a rollercoaster. It goes up and down and you leave thinking, Oh man, that was some wisdom right there. Yeah. And all you've just done is heard your relationship described as a rollercoaster ride. Yeah.

You're still having problems. Which you knew already. You knew that already. Yeah. Now you just have a better way to describe it. Oh my. I feel like that would happen on the island. You know,

I don't, I don't think I've ever, like, that is such a realisation. Right. They don't solve anything. They just describe your problem in a better way. Shit. And plus, I feel like if I'm on a desert island, like, I want to just embrace the fact that I'm going to die. I don't need someone trying to wake up at 5am. Let's start doing some push-ups.

Let's walk around the island. That's not going to solve anything. No. Let's just, like, accept the fact. gonna die here oh my god statistically we're gonna die here yeah you know maybe we'll catch some fish and eat them but we're gonna die the chances are we're gonna like prolong our lives but we are gonna die here and i don't need someone motivating me into something that's just not gonna you know yeah oh my god okay do you like do you like the motivation no i mean like so uh there's one that sticks out as tony robbins have you seen that guy

oh my god it's just really crazy yeah it's like a cult it's like a cult of positivity and that's the thing about these cults of positivity as soon as you like criticize them you look like a hater it's true which maybe i am yeah but i mean i think probably rightfully so rightfully so but then i don't know i'm trying it's happening again i'm trying to convince myself it's fine against it you know i think like the thing is uh not to go too harsh it's just like i think they're kind of a cult of positivity but it's kind of like it's got some aggression to it yeah and it's like it's like you will believe that you're gonna be fine you're gonna do it yeah most people though like are average do you know do you know

what i mean like most people are just mediocre yeah because you you you have winners but if you have winners then there has to be losers for sure yeah That's just the way of life. It's the yin and the yang. And maybe trying to motivate losers into being winners when they're just going to be losers, that's really cruel, in my opinion. Oh my God, because you're giving them false hope. Yeah, we need to have speakers who are just more realistic. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, okay. Stick to that nine to five. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Enjoy the weekend sometimes. Accept the fact that this is your life for the next 50 years. Except the fact that some weekends you're going to have to do the garden and go shopping. Settle with that wife that you don't really like, but you'll be fine.

We need more of those people. But maybe you should be a motivational speaker, but just for the normal person. For the everyday person. I feel like that's what when people go wrong is because they're always striving for this sense of happiness that just can't be achieved so if we had just like contentment speakers just be content i want to go to your church but i want to go to where you're just my my church yeah just a church of just meh yeah just like it's fine do you mean it's like could have been better day could have been worse yeah that's that's the kind of mentality you should have on the island it's like

yeah i'm not dead yeah i'm not dead yet will be soon inevitably because run out of resources but not yet just take it on the chin just take it on the chin it's a free holiday oh my god so you are on there though and you are with this motivational speaker, right? So you've got this Instagram influencer and a motivational speaker. You're not in a good place right now. I believe eventually they would join up against me and it would be like some sort of Lord of the Flies situation where they try and kill me due to my hateness and to my lack of... Your negativity towards them.

It would be an amazingly photographed death wouldn't it yeah the filters would be on point yeah the filters would be put there'd be like a whole lot of versions i mean it's not just one picture oh they won't just take one they'll take five or six seven angles consult with me even like do you like this pose i'm like you know what okay i mean i am getting killed yeah more blood it's a bloody death well yeah well how else would it be i don't know drowning or something that's that's kind of beautiful maybe they drown me maybe and then my body's just kind of floating angel and then that's the picture right there okay yeah this took a turn this has taken a bad turn okay i didn't start like

i didn't start really positive no but it still managed to take a turn. I think it's the setting that we're in. It's very gothic. I know. It's kind of gothic, actually, yeah. The more I think about where we are, the depths of East London is a really, really bad description. It's not at all. No, not even close to the depths. That would be worse than being on a desert island being in the depths of East London no one can save you

no one can yeah and that's the end of the podcast that's a good report Michael who's going to be your third choice

I feel like my third choice would be any other comedian what literally any other comedian any other comedian man we're not we're not problem solvers

also I feel like if we survived like they would inevitably make an edinburgh show out of this experience and i would want to make an edinburgh show yes experience and i don't want to do a double hander no okay yeah like i'll be i'll be honest i probably i'm not that great i'll get like 15 minutes of material out of it i probably squeeze 15 even then i'd want that 15 to myself i don't want to share that with anybody do you know what i mean what if they want to become a double act as well this couldn't happen man i would kill them if i knew rescue was coming and that was

their plan then they would die mysteriously would you kill them they well i just i can't really share my material like i don't want to be a double hander no no yeah so yeah they would have to die and what if it would be well Instagram death yeah it would be because I would have learned from the influencer what to do

yeah how to oh how to do it their death so you're teaming up with the influencer and you're like right let's do this

because they get more likes I get an Edinburgh show just they could just go live boom Instagram live yeah live death boom well no because then there's evidence and that's oh yeah I get an Edinburgh show just they could just go live boom Instagram live yeah live death boom

well no because then there's evidence and that's oh yeah true actually it's not we don't want

live murder so maybe after the dead just take off the body this is so dark we could still take a video it would just be for us I think this might be

one of the darkest episodes yeah I just yeah maybe maybe I don't know but I feel like just because that's the main reason actually most comedians i know are quite nice yeah but then even then you know in a green room

you have a lot of chats about oh how's the gig you know oh really audience so if you strip that away like because that's been the majority of my conversations with other comedians like it's just kind of awkward i guess oh no is it mostly awkward then i wouldn't say well you know what what is there to talk we'll take it as you take it as you've yeah once you once you strip it back i guess i mean like yeah well are you in the fear of giving away material in that moment i just because what if you have a great idea and then for a joke and then you know they take it so do you feel like you've got to be the driest version of yourself you can just like not have to give any light away any positivity away because i don't want them to

try and take that material no okay because i would rather kill them on the island than have to give any light away any positivity away because i don't want them to try and take that material no okay because i would rather kill them on the island and have to kill them in real life because i feel like island deaths don't really count no deaths no okay yeah well who's gonna know unless the influence has got pictures of which they will have done unless you take their phone and throw it right in the sea i'll be be honest, when I thought of these answers, I didn't think it would go this way. Okay, yeah. Did you not? I didn't think too much in depth about them.

No, yeah. I just thought I would improvise when I got here. I didn't know I'd improvise this darkly. I mean, maybe it's an insight into yourself. It's hot. It's my psyche. Yeah. When I get hot, I get really violent, I guess, at once.

Gothic setting on a hot day. Violence in Michael's mouth mouth i guess wow what if this other comedian is slightly more funny than you what are you i feel like you're giving me more incentive to kill because you don't want to be the edema with the worst island show they're like it's like they've got the one and it's like in lights yeah in the big place right and you're like in the side room yeah with like the side act i might go for the uh the emotional angle then because if i can't match them in funniness i'll just go for like depth yeah right right right you know i don't let him a show is go this the cliche about how like after 40 minutes they start crying crying that's a cliche about

like how you get some really emotional Edinburgh shows oh really more sort of emotional depth than laughs so I might just cry from the top

just go that just get them in it's a play just a one man play about my time on the island with like you'd have like a projector with

pictures from the influencers exactly and then it's like a slideshow type thing you don't really eat when you come back so they've got that they feel sorry for you like then that's my oh my god okay um for industry any anything more on uh the other comedians no i think i okay i think

just for my career sake i might you might not cover up the rest okay yeah thank you very much michael now mercifully... Here we go. It can get a bit more light now. Okay. Now, mercifully, among the wreckage of the plane, there was some food and drink left over. Unfortunately for you, it's your least favourite food and drink in the world.

What are they and why are they so bad? I think for food, I said goat meat. You did say goat meat. Which sounds kind of weird, but it's just... Talk to me. What is it? When I went to... I'm British and Nigerigerian and i went back to nigeria when i was about seven and there was we had this like massive garden and there was a goat

in the garden on the first day and you know i didn't really have any lot of friends out there over there because we spent like a month out there so i spent a lot of time with that goat and then the day before we left this guy came came over. He just slit the goat's throat. Oh, my God, man. We ate that goat. Oh, my God. I think the saddest part about it for me was that the goat, who I named Jeffrey. Oh, man. He was delicious.

That was the saddest part. Was he? He was so tasty. And I felt like, if anything, I'd be doing him a disservice by not finishing the entire meal. Was he delicious? Yeah. Even, you know, just the bones, the bone marrow as well.

Did you? Because it's so good. It was so good, Geoffrey. Oh, my God. He was my first real friend, I would say. You know, I'd go visit him every day, and I realise now, because my family,

they used to let me feed him and I realised they were getting me to fatten him up. No! And that was to fatten him up. So he was more juicy. So I wish I knew that

from the beginning because I thought I was just making a bond with him but really I was just feeding him so he would be more tasty in his death which to be fair they were right

because he was. He was really good. He was so delicious oh my god so i feel like i generally i avoid goat meat since then i say that i i eat a lot but just with a lot of that's not true i eat it so much i would be so happy to find goat meat not gonna lie if there was a way on the island for the whole of jeffrey to be on the island i would do the whole thing again i would feed him again and i would eat him again but this time there would be no shame because when i was seven i was eating him through

tears oh you know do you know the conflict of eating something delicious through tears like that was a bit like just also not just eating his meat, just sucking them out. I was sucking them and I was crying. You're so delicious. It was weird because the tears were going into the food and it added more flavour somehow. I think the saltiness of the tears added more flavour to the food. Oh my God, man. And I would do it all again.

I would eat Geoffrey all again. I don't regret god and i would do it all again you could i would eat jeffrey all again i don't regret it i would do it again but i would eat it maybe with a little bit more shame so maybe it's going to be the best scenario it would be it would be delicious it would be delicious what's your skills like in like fill it in a goat do you fill it a goat how are you going to get that meat off i will will find a way. I will find a way. I would hope this time. I'm trying to think if I would kill Jeffrey myself this time. I feel like that's the man's way to do it.

Yeah. I would look him in the eyes. Yeah. And then you don't want to, you don't want to, I don't want to stab Jeffrey in the back. I mean, oh,

good boy. And then I go behind him and stab him. That's a character. You've got to look him in the eyes. I might, you know, find a pillow just when he's sleeping and then I go behind him stab him that's a character you've got to look him in the eyes I might you know find a pillow just when he's sleeping and just kind of like smother him

have a lovely little goat and then I close his eyelids just like make it more beautiful you know what I mean and then we start cutting what garment would you make

from the skin oh my goodness that would make a nice pantsuit I believe do you know what I mean I'd wear that and then a boom influencer

of bums take some pictures of me without getting the angles yeah right there um actually i remember this um this was pre-9-11 actually when we killed jeffrey uh so i was allowed to take his horns and his teeth home they let me take him home that's not true it's true no way let him keep i kept his horns and his teeth it might not have been pre-9-11 might have just been around that time because i don't think they'd let me do it anymore i took his horns and his teeth and i took him to school for show and tell and no way there was a massive table and i put them on the table and it was there for three weeks but then it started rotting. No! So we all came into school one day and we just saw flies surrounded by it

and then we had to get rid of it. Shit! For some reason, everyone was really cool about it in school actually. Just like the idea, here's some goat's teeth. Yeah.

And a goat's horn. How old did you say you were? Ten? I was like six. Six? So that is an incredible thing to see. You're just like, oh my fucking God.

I was the coolest kid of the school for a bit it was yeah the horns maybe i understand i didn't understand why everyone was so cool with the teeth that's kind of the teeth is mad but yeah they started rotting and uh yeah you had to chuck that away kind of like you know i think the rotting kind of symbolized my innocence like as soon as that was gone you know i thought this was going to be where it would get really light get light on man that's um right okay so goat meat r.i.p jeffrey though yeah r.i.p he was a cool goat gone but not forgotten and now immortalized in this podcast for sure it's beautiful you're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad reach great listeners

like yourself with podcast advertising from Lips and Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lips and Ads. Go to lipsandads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N-ads.com. And what's going to be a drink choice I think I said

Ribena and I stick with that because I think you may have noticed this Ribena this sugar free version that they've introduced upon us

is awful it's awful and it's because of what fat kids you know what I mean like the government and fat kids ruined Ribena

for us Ribena now is terrible it's Ribena K.A. all of them drinks like all of them childhood staple drinks yeah

I think I would rather drink sea water totally and die off that yeah than drink this sort of diluted version it's just

it's just so shit that was forced upon us and the thing that annoys me is that fat kids are gonna find a way to be fat regardless of what you do to Ribena

like they'll find a way I've seen them they're still fat they're still fat yeah they still find a way to get that sugar in yeah so you didn't have to deny it for the rest of us yeah that's my main issue uh with theresa may's government actually i would put that above brexit even the way she handled that and that's when i knew that she's a bad leader right there really that's when i was above everything else that's the first thing i ever genuinely considered protesting you know more than anything else the sugar yeah because i know like a few like a million people went out for the brexit march yes like where were you people when we need your facebook uh planned uh ribena protests because no one said they would attend

i've got a couple maybes couple i'm interested no one attended bastards just me out there with a placard do you know the thing is i still buy them sometimes thinking that maybe it will change back it's like some sort of weird hopefulness that i know it's like i mean then boom they get that sugar-free taste it's just it's like i feel like it's like shit lager or shit cider yeah right cheap cider cheap or cheap lager. If you buy it and it's icy, icy cold, you can deal with that. Yeah. Right? For like the first bit. As soon as it's not freezing cold, nasty.

That's the thing though. Mostly Ribena's in the cartons. You're getting it from the corner shop. Oh. So they are already lukewarm. Yeah. But the sugar made up for the lukewarmness in its own way. But now you're just getting lukewarm nothingness.

Yeah. It's horrible. It's deep into the nothingness. Okay. I drink sand. I drink the sand and the blood of influences rather than

taste Ribena. The blood of Geoffrey the guy. Yeah. That's what I would choose. The blood of Geoffrey, the blood of influencers, and sand is a better drink than the current taste of whatever this Ribena concoction is.

Oh, my God. Okay. So Ribena is going to be a drink choice. Man, this is... This is where you've taken it. I thought it would be light. I came here in a good mood. I thought it would be light.

I know. I'm still in a good mood. I'm in a good mood. It's still'm in a good mood it's you know it's still nice outside we're in this weird room um it's the room it's the room we're gonna go and live our lives after this yeah for sure you know but we can all take these things away from us and i'm hoping now you're gonna add a few more yeah right so michael fortunately for you you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes entertainment system continues to work okay but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time yeah and the other is your least favorite song what are

they and why i feel like the movie that i would hate the most would be it's almost a genre in itself i call it the white savior movie yes it's like i'm not sure if you've seen like the blind side or like dangerous minds it's kind of like the story of where like a like an innocent white person like saves like an individual group of black kids like from yeah from the ghetto yes and like they're made out to be this hero those movies really like to help as well it's like a really great my nerves it's just like this idea of like this white jesus coming in and it's, let me save you and teach you how to read and whatnot. What's the one, you know,

Coolio song is about the film and it's got, what's her name? Is it? Michelle Pfeiffer. Michelle Pfeiffer. I think that's Dangerous Minds. Dangerous Minds. There you go.

Freedom writers as well. Yes. It's very, very like, cause I had a teacher like that. Cause I, I went, the first school I went to was kind of very white.

Right. So the teacher I had, she kind of like made me her projects, you know, she started putting things on my life that just weren't there you're like i would turn up late for school to take me to the side and be like michael you know you don't have to sell crack right i just missed the bus like what's going on i just missed the bus like what that's not what i was doing i do have a cousin who does that but that's not the point like i just missed the bus like calm, calm down, you know? But like, I also get annoyed, because a lot of people get annoyed

at the whole comic relief thing, because of that. I guess like the whole idea of like, Ed Sheeran sat there. Yeah, with the poor black kid. I don't know how I feel about that, because I feel like comic relief

is kind of helpful. And also like with comic relief, you'll see pictures of those white celebrities, and they're like building huts, and like planting crops. And I look at that as like reverse slavery so that makes kind of makes me feel like that's how i see it in my mind so it's like the yin and the yang you get the good and the bad i'm telling you now man that they were doing that for about two minutes someone else did

all the rest of that work and it yeah i think about all the badly built huts by like gap year students that now those villages have to rebuild so now they're doing double the amount of work more work yeah the villagers can't wait for them to leave and it's the same influencers the same influencers get that picture of like look at this hut i made that collapses two seconds after the photo was taken oh my god yes it's true and now the villages villagers have to be mentors to these 16-year-olds who came out there for pictures. So any white saviour.

I have this joke in my show. I want to be a black saviour to white kids because I feel like a lot of white kids, they need life lessons as well. Yeah, yeah. They need to know how to season food properly. They need to know it's okay to be white as long as you feel guilty about it inside. Those kind of life lessons, I feel like it's very important for young white need to know it's okay to be white you know as long as you feel guilty about it inside like those kind of

lifeless stuff like it's very important for young white kids to know and I'll do a gap year as well I'll go to like Blackpool you know what I mean just take a picture

with a group of poor white kids all with their thumbs up their muddy faces you know what I mean I'll show that picture around to my friends I'll say it was a life changing experience

but I'll never visit those kids again you know i'll send them 50p a month maybe through paypal yeah and get loads of people to sign up for sure i'll keep that money though yeah yeah but i'm robin yeah so those movies oh man that's right yeah yeah yeah because when you actually that's the thing about the movie like in, in the help, you've seen the help? Like, what's her name? Emily Stone. Emily Stone. Emma Stone.

Yeah, yeah. Like, she got all the credit, but really it was the black women, they were doing all the legwork. They were actually going through the suffering, they were doing all the legwork. Yeah. But somehow it gets reframed about, like, Emma Stone's story. Oh, yes, yeah. It's a little bit annoying i think you're right yeah you don't even notice these tropes maybe sometimes but then like once you get older

i think you see them a bit more it's a little bit great and yes but then i don't know white people work quite hard on you sometimes i guess what do you mean black people work quite hard on you you know we don't like not like you as much as we make out i think it's just like it's just for fun now we just we're always making white people feel guilty but just because like it's so fun to do like making white people feel guilty but you know like for example like if you're white and you're walking past a group of black guys in a hoodie at late at night it's okay to cross the road because that's the safest option really you don't know you don't have to walk past them just to be progressive yeah

because now you're stabbed and just because you look now you look good and stabbed that's not no one wants that like cross the road like it's okay

yeah do you know what I mean like it's okay so maybe we need to not make you feel that bad no yeah maybe you need some uplifting movies

like oh we're alright oh man we're doing alright I can't wait to see a stand-up show, man. I appreciate it, man. It's so good. Okay, Wicked. So that's your film.

What's going to be your song choice? I feel like any acoustic cover of any rap song is just so unnecessary. Oh, totally. Do you know what I mean? Have you got a specific example? Just like, say there'll be a Migos song or something like that. Something like that's really trap or travis scott there'll always be some white lady like making like an acoustic version of the song and it's just like you know it'll be like let me go have a song like walk it

like i tuck it walk it yeah and then there'll be a lady with a guitar walk it like i talk it and it's just like adding some folkness to it you don't need to be there there's a black guy right he's not he knows what i mean you know what i'm saying it's like you're adding that depth to the there was no depth in this song it's just meant to be played to twerk to and dance to yes yeah and now you're adding some no one no one needs a breathy cover on youtube yeah yeah yeah you're finding this depth from there was no debt yeah yeah the song was about booties taking drugs and dancing yeah and now you've added some sort of heartbreak element to it yeah and now i'm listening to it and i'm tearing up and i'm like why am i tearing up to a song

that's saying big booty bitches in the club like there's no debt from that but the way she's singing it's like big booty bitches in the club who is that big booty bitch like will i ever see her again you know what i mean what's her story i don't want to see her again no no interest yeah and in depth to songs where there's no depth and it's embarrassing if you're walking down there's like a busker doing it do you know what i mean it's like oh it's just like it's no it's no there's no depth there's no necessary depth ed sheeran effectively has made a career out of doing it. It's interesting, though, because R. Kelly,

obviously we're not allowed to listen to R. Kelly anymore because of all that shit, all those allegations about him. Sometimes when I'm at a party, though, and I hear an Ed Sheeran song, I was like, man, if only he had some allegations against him, then he wouldn't have to play him anymore. Do you know what I mean? Michael Jackson, too.

Yeah. But I'm not quite ready to let him go. No? Not yet. Not yet. I feel like the moonwalk has allowed him 10 more years. The moonwalk alone? The moonwalk alone has allowed him 10 more years.

I mean. And then we can cancel him. Yeah. My rule of Michael Jackson is I don't have Spotify premium. So I'll still listen to him but like if he comes on shuffle i won't skip the song yeah yeah you only get like five skips per hour right okay yeah if i have to waste a skip on michael jackson then technically i'm one of his victims too and i don't think that's fair yeah yeah you know that's that's my rule no okay all right okay

again we've taken it into an area that's... I know. I know. It starts so promising. Quite murky. No, it's great, though. It's so funny, man. But the actual premise, like, acoustic covers of songs... Oh, yeah. ...didn't need to be made acoustic.

It's just not necessary. Stop doing it, people. That's cultural appropriation at its worst. Yeah. More than... At its worst. More than colonialism. More than taking over countries.

It's slightly above slavery. Just making acoustic covers of Drake songs. Like, it's going to be a Drake song. Always a Drake song. It's going to be a Drake song, isn't it? Oh, man. I don't need any more of that in my life. Okay.

Acoustic covers of rap songs. Brilliant. You don't need to be hearing that for the rest of your life um thank you very much michael and finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why any animal with a cute face was my answer to that question yeah uh mainly because it's kind of like the jeffrey situation i know in time i'm gonna have to kill this animal and eat it so So I don't want an adorable face looking up at me. Do you know what I mean?

Let's say the island was overrun by kittens. Within six hours, I will have to start eating these kittens. Yeah. I would try the vegan diet for a couple hours. I'll eat some leaves and stuff like that. But then within six hours hours i'll be looking at these kittens i'll be like hey decide within yourself yeah yeah it's gonna go one of you going first and then we have to start eating kittens you're not gonna get a lot of meat off

them no it's not a lot of meat on a kitten i don't know i'll find it don't worry i'll find that meat i'll eat the bone marrows again i'll find a way if i could eat jeffrey yeah i had a personal month-long bond with no i'll find a way to eat this really i prefer animals with a harsher face yeah you want ugly animals on the island so you can just kill them like a like a pug yeah like a like an elephant seal an elephant seal that's the ugliest looking thing it's a tough skin i wouldn't mind like trading cuteness for deliciousness you know i mean okay so i don't mind if it'seness For deliciousness Do you know what I mean Okay So I don't mind

If it's that cute As long as the meat Is juicy What's gonna be The juiciest Cutest animal I don't know Like what's

What's like a really Cute animal Geoffrey He was pretty cute Nice eyebrows A little lamb Yeah Little lamb

I'll find a way And um So that I feel like that would Like bring me the biggest dilemma like at least with fish there's a lot and there's not a lot of facial expressions no yeah stupid so it's easy to kill fish go for it if anything there's some glee in it um uh take joy within it but an animal with the face is cuter it's it's gonna be harder um okay yeah i want to eat monkey meat i feel like that's

ebola started or aids ebola aids started from eating monkey meat is that true or was it having sex with monkeys i don't know one or the other yeah i wouldn't have sex with any of these animals that's inappropriate no yeah yeah even in death especially in death especially in death yeah like i mean it'd be pretty you know how to make it dark aids definitely started from having sex with monkeys that's what's that's apparently that's the thing but ebola started from eating monkeys maybe we just gotta like leave monkeys yeah yeah leave them alone so maybe the worst thing is that the island is overrun by cute monkeys does that mean that like all monkeys have aids i don't know

there's a bunch of people in here now and i just started that sentence and i feel but does that mean like monkeys have aids already in them and then we're just contracting aids or is it the combination lived that long i guess maybe that's from the aids that they're naturally born with who are these people that started having sex with the monkeys in the first place? I don't know. Sometimes you're in a club and there's not a lot of women there. And you start assessing where you are on the sort of spectrum. You find a pretty looking guy and you go, maybe, maybe.

So maybe it's the same with the monkeys. That's a pretty looking monkey. Now I know where I'm at. Yeah. Yeah. Okay okay anything with a cute face is gonna be animal choice thank you very much michael i really appreciate you coming in i've enjoyed being here i've surprised myself have you somewhat with where i've taken do you feel like the listener is gonna get a pretty good picture of what your editor show is gonna be like maybe a little bit of depth i hope that somebody's seen into my psyche a little bit i hope you don't have to do a lot of editing no what i said it's going to be like maybe a little bit of depth I hope that somebody's seen into my psyche a little bit

I hope you don't have to do a lot of editing no in terms of what I said it's going to let the people decide no we're going to let it breathe

Michael again thank you so much for coming in I really enjoyed coming out if people want to see you where can they see you this Edinburgh

I'm going to be at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival from July 31st August 25th I'll be in the Pleasance the bunker 2 at 5.30

come see my show Black Bears Matter where I will be discussing a lot of these topics I'll be in the Pleasance the bunker 2 at 5.30 come see my show Black Bears Matter where I will be discussing a lot of these topics I've discussed on the show apart from anything monkey

sex or disease related that will not that will be in the next show okay yeah that's the whole of the next show that's the next Edinburgh show Black Bears Matter

is mainly bears not mainly bears focused but there's a lot of things I'm talking about in terms of sort of politics and social issues and just kind of my opinions on them. And I think I'd try and talk about it in an interesting way.

And I feel like people should come down and see it. Yeah. If they've liked anything. Anything. So that's at the Pleasants, right? Did you say? In the Pleasants. Courtyard.

Yeah. In the bunker too. Bunker number. I didn't get a bunker one. I got the second bunker, but I'm going to make it work. Come down to see it. Amazing. I paid a lot of money

to be put in the second bunker. So I was a little bit, but then I don't think like they're numbered in terms of like excellence. I think it's just the names of the bunkers. Are you there every night? Yeah, from July 31st.

So this month starts this month to August 25th. And I'm going to take a break on the 13th but every other night I'll be there okay yeah

and see the show everyone's taking a break on the 13th what's that about I think it's just like a relaxing day you have a day off and if everyone

most people choose the 13th yeah yeah I think you do need a break because it's a bit I guess it's a bit intense out there yeah I won't know

I've never done it before so I think yeah you know I'm really going to pace myself and just enjoy enjoy the moment a bit intense out there. Yeah. I won't know. I've never done it before. So I think, you know, I'm really going to pace myself and just enjoy the moment when I'm out there. And if you can't make the show, come down to the London previews, which is by this point, it's going to be the finished version of the show. I have one on the 26th over at Crack Comedy. Starts at 7. I have one.

No, that's the last one. Okay. So there's one this Friday. There's one. Yeah, that's the last one. Okay, so there's one this Friday. There's one. Yeah, there's one this Friday. So come check out the show because right then it will be hopefully the finished version of the show

and then you can give me some feedback and we can discuss monkey politics. And if people want to find you on social media, where can they find you? On social media, you can find me Michael Oduwali Comedy, which is my name on Twitter and Instagram. I retreat some really cool stuff,

so come see my memes. Okay. Yeah. Thank you very much, Michael. It's been fun, man. Appreciate it.